Tumgik
#also as someone who identifies as aroace
libraryleopard · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Young adult contemporary coming-of-age story (releases 4/16, I read an early copy from Netgalley)
Follows two first-year students at Wellesley College who run dueling anonymous advice columns and befriend each other in real life as they bonded over both being aroace, unaware of the other's internet identity
Platonic love story
Explores themes like aroace identity, finding community, being the queer child of immigrants, and trying to find your place in the world as a young adult looking towards the future
Love letter to platonic/familial love and finding community
Aromantic asexual Chinese American protagonist; aromantic asexual gender-questioning/nonbinary (she/they) protagonist; lots of QPOC side characters
18 notes · View notes
genspiel · 4 months
Text
oh god how do you talk to someone that you haven't seen in ages. why are they suddenly reaching out to me. blocking them feels rude and immature but also i have literally zero clue how to talk to this person anymore. fuck
3 notes · View notes
inmydrcams · 1 year
Text
it’s interesting how people will ask you if you’re gay but it never occurs to them to ask if you’re straight cause they’re still working off gay or straight 
1 note · View note
mommyschiz · 1 month
Text
Why do people find the need to invalidate aro/ace characters' identities just because they want to ship or simp for that character
As someone on the aroace spectrum, I've only ever seen allos mention the spectrum and microlabels to use as loopholes to ship. They also dont use queerplatonic relationships right. I am not against these bc i identify with aro and ace microlabels and i like to see microlabels and queerplatonic relationships getting recognized properly but not as loopholes
Its like me shipping a gay and lesbian character and calling it queerplatonic as an excuse
Its aphobic and arophobic. Especially when the character shows no interest, and even disgust, at romance and sex
Why do we, the aromantic and/or asexual community, excuse nsfw/ship drawings/fics? It wouldn't fly if you made ship art or fic of a gay and female character, so why does it fly to make an aroace character allo or sexualize them? We deserve respect
Idc what your headcanons are. It still upsets me as someone on this spectrum who uses microlabels
I just had to get my thoughts out
616 notes · View notes
chronicbeans · 2 months
Text
Queerplatonic Alastor x Reader Headcanons
Hehe my plan of writing headcanons for various Aroace-spec identity Alastor headcanons has begun. This one is with a cupioromantic and asexual Alastor in mind. I haven't seen enough of them, and as they say! "If you want it done right, you gotta do it yourself."
TW: Frustrations regarding romantic identity, complete unawareness of certain LGBTQ+ topics (my man's from the 1920's, he's almost completely in the dark), slight yandere behavior? (I feel he's just obsessive by default, regardless of the relationship type)
Tumblr media
• So, this man has never necessarily identified himself with any sort of LGBTQ+ labels. Back in his day, there weren't any terms to use for being asexual or aromantic. At least, not any that he knew of. He's always been comfortable with his sexuality, though! His main thought process was always "I'll probably find someone that I'm attracted to at some point, and if I don't, that's alright." That thought process has also followed him down to Hell, and stayed the same for all these years.
• However... Whilst he's very comfortable with his sexuality... His romantic feelings are very complicated, now. He's always desired to have one, and he's very confused as to why he hasn't felt any romantic attraction, yet. It makes sense that someone who wants a romantic relationship to be able to feel romantic attraction, yes? He's very much in the dark to the complexities of how these things really work, mostly due to him being from the 1920s-30s. He's caught up on slang and technology, but he hasn't bothered to keep up with sexualities and romantic identities, as he doesn't think about them much.
• So, does he ask any more modern demons and sinners for help? Ha! No. He's too prideful, and simply assumes that there probably isn't much of a difference in knowledge on romantic attraction as compared to his day. Yes, he's aware that there's way more identities for sexualities. People talk about them often, and he hears terms thrown around here and there as he walks through Hell. He never hears anything in regards to romance, though. It's simply not talked about as often, from his experience. So, he's completely in the dark. If anything, he's probably completely unaware that there are identities for romantic attraction.
• He does what he can to cope. This whole situation is very frustrating for him. However, at the same time, he thinks that it shouldn't be so frustrating. So, it's embarrassing to him, and he doesn't tell anyone about it. Instead, he does what he believes everyone who is single and ready to mingle does: reading romance novels. More specifically, he flips to parts where said attraction is described, or little scenarios that he wants is going on. Restaurant dates, walking through the park, dancing, holding hands and cuddling. Those sorts of things! Things nobody would ever expect someone as unhinged as him would want...
• The most frustrating part, however, is that he feels he should already be feeling such an attraction to you. You, being his most close friend. You're the one he trusts with certain secrets, one of the few people he doesn't mind touching him unprompted (besides, say, Niffty), and probably the only person he lets his smile down around. Though, he rarely does so, as he doesn't want to worry you. Unlike Niffty, who he sees as having a more familial feeling towards, he sees you as a close friend. His closest friend, but just a close friend, which frustrates him to no end.
• It takes him a long time to even think of mentioning it to someone. However, when he does, he'd feel too awkward to bring it up to you. So, he decides to speak to Charlie about it! After all, she has one of the more "modern" relationships. So, she probably also knows something about whatever is going on with him! And after the long and grueling process of talking to her? He comes out even more frustrated than before. Being unable to feel romantic attraction, but still want romance? Cupioromantic? It is all so confusing. However, he won't question it. He's clearly out of his zone, and he was horribly wrong when assuming the world of romance hadn't progressed...
• You, however, are his most trusted friend. His closest friend. So, he decides to waste no time in deciding to propose an idea to you. He's heard of these things called "queerplatonic relationships", and his understanding is that they are like friendships, but with some more traditionally romantic interactions involved. Which, whilst his understanding of the nature of queerplatonic relationships may be a bit off, he's trying his best. Once you explain it a bit further, emphasizing that they're closer relationships than friendships, but not romantic and can vary widely in affectionate interactions, he is immediately is set on trying to start one with you. Luckily, though, you agree rather quickly.
• Despite him wanting many of your interactions and ways of showing affection to be more traditionally romantic, such as cuddling or going out on friendly dates, he won't cross any boundaries. Both because you're his closest, most prized relationship with another person, and because he can't think of many other people who would even be willing to enter such a relationship with him if he ever asked. Not that he'd want to ask anyone else. There's a reason why he immediately went to you. It's hard for him to describe it, though. Despite being a man of words, whenever he tries to explain why he feels like you are the perfect person for him to enter this queerplatonic relationship with, he stumbles heavily.
• His little ideal for this relationship is, essentially, the types of things he's read in the romance novels he has. Sure, a little bit of a twisted version of it, but at it's core it's the same. He wants to cuddle in a nice, safe, and warm room (while there's probably the screams of an extermination going on the background). He wants to go to restaurants (this man's a cannibal so check your food). He wants to do the cheesy move of handing you red roses and candy as a gift (do not ask how he was able to buy such an expensive brand, or where the two large, heavy trash bags came from or what they are filled with).
• He's going to be very, VERY protective of you. Almost, if not completely to an obsessive degree. He knows how Hell is. People want power, and he's powerful, and you are close to him. He's sure many people are going to go after you, in order to get to him. So, your little relationship is going to be as well protected of a secret as it can be, at first, until he believes he can properly protect you from any danger. And after the secret is out, he's going to be right by your side the entire time. Literally. Whenever he can be, he's next to you. Nobody, except maybe Vox or another pesky overlord, is going to try to hurt you as long as he is there. Even then, he could completely destroy them, anyways!
410 notes · View notes
Text
Ace rings and Aro rings. What are they?
An ace ring is a black ring, usually worn on the middle finger of the right hand, that indicates you are on the asexual spectrum. An aro ring is the basically the same thing just white and worn on your left hand on the middle finger. Placement is important since other communities us rings to identify themselves. Many people on the spectrum don’t know about the rings, so it is often times a more personal symbol. Even if you never meet another ace or someone who knows about the rings, I still think it’s a nice step of personal acceptance and way to display yourself! It’s just a really neat way to embrace your ace-ness and/or aro-ness!
Some people go with plain black and plain white., but others like their rings with a little bit more to them. Some people might go out even further and get rings that are dragon-like. The meaning of this is explained in this post of mine. There are even rings out there with the ace of spades (and other suits) which the meaning of that is explained in one of my previous posts. There are also cool rings out there that are less subtle that have the aro flag colors, ace flag, colors, and the sunset aroace flag. Overall, just the normal ace ring, a black ring with embellishments, and any other ace symbols are used by people! People have all sorts of different rings that fit within the aro/ace ring vibe.
Feel free to reblog and get this info out there! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
2K notes · View notes
yukishirostar · 2 months
Text
So people are talking about a post in the Zolu tag by a certain tumblr user in regards to their issues with Zolu as a ship. They shall be unnamed because i dont wish to bring attention to them and instead just want to focus on their arguments because they're not the first people to make some of these points and so this is also an opportunity for me to talk about these things (a tweet is going around on Twitter containing these screenshots with the username so you can find it there if you need to anyway).
Tumblr media
The way this person dismisses the relationship between Zoro and Luffy as a result of needing to pair gay Zoro with someone is too laughable, they must be very fit in order to be able to do these mental gymnastics. I believe that many people who are going on about the Zolu scenes in the OPLA were already Zolu shippers who were familiar with the original story and are enjoying the moments because they were well, really good Zolu moments? And there is actually, shockingly, many good Zolu moments in the original story too which is why many people ship them. Wild, I know.
Then there's 'straight-washed Sanji'. Equally if not more of a bizarre thing to believe. I might make some people mad especially the Sanji stans out there who constantly insist on the 'repressed queer' narrative with his character, but Sanji is written pretty explicitly to be seen as a cisgender and heterosexual character. The way you say with your whole chest that Luffy is 'canonically' aroace but don't acknowledge that Sanji is 'canonically' cishet is beyond hypocritical. If you believe Sanji looking like a 'misogynistic straight man' is different from the way he is written in canon then maybe you should go back and reread/rewatch series with your eyes open this time. If you wish to headcanon him with the frankly offensive repressed bisexual/transgender cliché then go ahead, but that is clearly not the intention Oda has with his character.
There's also the fact that aroace people can uh. Be in relationships. Get married. Have children. Did it occur to you that many people who ship Zolu ship them as an ace couple or-
Tumblr media
First thing I want to say here, as a trans man who is 'mlm', can other dudes stop with this idea that women or fem-aligned individuals enjoying homosexual relationships between two men is inherently fetishising or that as a masc-aligned individual your enjoyment of a ship is morally superior in some way. Stop pulling out your 'mlm/ transmasc / cis gay' card in order to justify why your ship is superior. Its cringe af.
But if we are to insist that 'cishet female gaze fetishising mlm' is going on then ironically Zosan fits that the better than any ship in the fandom. It being by far the most popular mlm ship means there is likely a higher proportion of people who identify as cishet women who ship it. Its also the classic 'two men who dislike/hate eachother and have a toxic relationship but hot sexual tension' slash/yaoi stereotype. Majority of Zosan I've come across is depicting Zoro as the masculine male man in the relationship while Sanji the effeminate twink that Sanji stans project themselves onto and they go crazy for the bickering that is apparently reminiscent to them of a toxic heterosexual marriage. Meanwhile every Zolu/Luzo shipper I've interacted with has been some flavour of queer and Zolu is closest to the 'falling in love with your same sex bestie' narrative that the majority if not every non-heterosexual person has experienced at least once in their lifetime. This is just my personal view of course, but I think noting a difference in perspective on this topic is interesting and reveals that at the end of the day this is totally subjective and based purely on anecdotes.
Also it's just a very weird point here that apparently OP has 'plenty of varied queer rep' (it actually doesn't have that many canonical queer characters in relation to its cast size but anyway) and other media doesn't so shipping aroace characters in gay relationships is valid in those but not in One Piece … HUH???? So you're saying if One Piece had 'less' queer rep, then Zolu would be fine to ship? Idek my brain hurts.
Tumblr media
"I have black friends so I'll speak for the black community and get offended for them" (btw this person then proceeded to block aroace people who had issues with their depiction of aroace people).
Also if we're talking canonical depictions, the only thing Zoro has been canonically depicted as is also aroace, equally if not moreso than Luffy. So by your own rules, you can't ship a cishet (sanji) with an aroace (zoro), therefore Zosan is now invalid. Stop erasing Zoro's aroace identity bigot.
Tumblr media
'Categorically wrong' makes me laugh. I don't ship Zoro and Nami but like, people can ship what they want to??
'The general public is aware enough of gay people and how to spot them these days' uh... firstly this sounds very homophobic. Secondly the general public (cishet ppl) are famously bad at recognising queerness even when its in flashing lights before them. Thirdly you make it sound like Zoro was going around on roller skates and booty shorts listening to YMCA and Madonna in the show. I do agree he was gay-coded but it was mostly because he had sexual tension with every man he interacted with, not for the strange reasons you pointed out...
Its kinda the elephant in the room too but like. These are just headcanons. You can have multiple headcanons and interpretations of a character's sexuality. I can see Zoro as aroace virgin one day and a gay h*e the next. I'm actually allowed, legally, to do that.
Tumblr media
The way they think shipping Zolu is harmful to aroace representation when BOTH characters are closest to being canonically aroace than anything yet ship Zosan, label being anti-Zolu as some kind of pro-ace activism, and then proceeded to block aroace people for criticising their incorrect depiction of what being aroace is...
This was a lot of words to say that you don't like a ship. Just say you don't like it, and it gets in the way of the ship you like, instead of writing a virtue signalling essay to justify your reasoning. Please.
They had some more to say on future posts I'll just pick my favourite bits
Tumblr media
They really have this narrative that Zolu is only popular because of OPLA and can't fathom that its just a popular ship in general and always has been huh. And they couldn't make it more obvious that they're totally salty about it ranking in the top 100 most popular tumblr ships, lmao.
Tumblr media
Your classic case of 'self-identifying ally who speaks over the people they are supposed allies of'. Its a general rule that you feel the need to declare yourself an ally you're probably not an ally, actual allies know they need to just shut up and do the work. Saying 'this character's aroace' and 'I have aroace friends' actually isn't what allyship is, thats just accepting that ace people exist which is like... the baseline.
Tumblr media
Calling a wholesome loving ship like Zolu an icky ship is a severe consequence of online brain (this person is 26 years old btw)
149 notes · View notes
archivomeow · 3 days
Text
“aros can date!!!” “aces can have sex!!!”
okay, okay… um what about those who don’t? can you respect that? or will you just push that argument even when it is not valid, hmm?
because here is great rep, for sex-repulsed ace and possibly romance-repulsed aro…
Tumblr media
and here is the amount of smut/ship fics i found on her + fics that change her sexuality:
1. yelena/kate & smut tags
Tumblr media
2. yelena/bucky & smut tags
Tumblr media
3. yelena/reader & smut tags
Tumblr media
4. yelena belova is not aro or ace tag
Tumblr media
5. yelena belova is not asexual tag
Tumblr media
6. lesbian yelena belova tag
Tumblr media
7. lesbian asexual yelena belova tag
Tumblr media
8. bisexual yelena belova tag
Tumblr media
^^ now that we have that out of the way, i have more to say. first off all wlw Yelena doesn’t exist.
not only did Yelena not have any romantic storylines as far as I know in the comics, she says she is NOT a lesbian and people prefer to ignore her denying it than agreeing with the fact that she is aroace.
Tumblr media
she says she is “nothing” which many interpret, along side some other stuff as her being aroace, in this particular “scene” before this conversation takes place we can also see her repulsion to sex.
also in this particular photo she is asked if she is a lesbian, because a man, Starkovsky, who was Yelena’s instructor thought she was a lesbian.
and you might ask yourself why did he think that & from experience i can tell you people usually assume that if you show no interest in men, in sex, in dating, nothing of these sorts, they just assume you’re closeted.
in this case yelena declines being a lesbian, claims she is nothing, is repulsed by sex, doesn’t date or show interest in dating, the last two are probably why she was assumed to be a lesbian by one of her instructors.
anyways ending this post with what traits of hers i relate to, as an aroace;
1. i don’t date,
2. i don’t show interest in dating, i like the idea of it, but nothing else really,
3. am in fact sex repulsed as well,
4. i was assumed to be a lesbian by someone…
5. i also want a dog and cats and many pets, but not lids, not a husband, not a wife, at least not in the traditional sense of those relationships.
^just to add to point 4, i am bi, but i use that prefix because i think it matters that i am attracted to both genders in some way, i don’t feel sexual attraction and i’m still stuck on whether i feel romantic one or not. but i do identify as both aro and ace!
78 notes · View notes
kalfui · 1 month
Note
Adding onto other anon
As someone who's not apart of the LGBTQ, but knows quite a few things abt it, I feel saddened abt the fact that Asexuality is pushed aside. I understand that the media is the media, and that people won't simply 'respect' the boundaries of fictional character but the discourse would be totally different if, for example, The sexuality of a gay character was getting erased.
There would be so many more people fighting abt it, and how it would be wrong to write them as something their not and erase apart of their identity. After a long think I can only recognize a singular, 'canon' asexual character in the recent media. With that being Frieren (beyond journeys end), but even then its a simple stop and go. Albeit one that i'm glad that happened.
What I mean to say is, Asexuality is a spectrum. And it can be in any level at any given time, but completely throwing away that spectrum to write a character for purely NSFW reasonings, and basically .. dehumanizing(?) them because you don't like how they identify is as wrong as doing that to any other sexuality.
As we see an influx of characters who break the 'social norms' a majority of people are used to, I assumed more people would recognize the fact that every sexuality, belief and identity is equally important and should be celebrated. But i'm also glad people are being taught why it's an issue.
I think dehumanizing is a great word when it comes to talking about what people do to aroace/ace characters. Everyone plays with these characters, ships them, makes sexual art of them, and then use the excuse of how they're only fictional, and that they can headcanon them however they want.
The second I see someone ship a canonically gay character with a girl or a canonically lesbian character, everyone talks about how they're erasing rep, they should leave characters canon identities alone, etc while they're writing a 300 page smut fanfic with some ace character.
Instead of exploring that character and their platonic relationships (and also romantic and nonsexual in case of just ace characters), they take away that quality of the character. I wish fandoms knew how to treat aroace/ace characters.
110 notes · View notes
Note
Am I the asshole for relating to a robot?
This is a situation that too place between me (NB 27) and my friend Charlie (NB 23). Charlie has diagnosed autism, I am currently working on getting a diagnosis/help for something in the autism/ADHD/OCD family.
I really enjoy reading science fiction books, and I recently picked up one based on the fact that it was supposed to have aroace representation. The main character is a robot (maybe a cyborg? it has organic parts) who does have aroace internal commentary. But it also has a lot of internal commentary that could be viewed as autistic coded. Things like being uncomfortable when its face is visible to humans, or finding conversations about feelings awkward. There’s more, but that’s the general gist.
I mentioned to Charlie how much I liked the book and the main character. How much it felt like me. And Charlie got upset because any form of a robot or non-human entity being seen as autistic is offensive and shouldn’t be read. And I get in the wider scope how it’s frustrating if that is the only representation, but I don’t think identifying with it personally is an issue. I prefer stories where there is some distance between me and the character like that. (As in, I don’t like reading about someone struggling with my exact situation, if that makes sense)
If it counts for anything, the author has said that they didn’t set out to make the robot autistic, just that they drew on their own life experiences with social anxieties and such.
What are these acronyms?
154 notes · View notes
stupidnicknamehere · 2 months
Text
Zolu ship from an Aroace's POV
Since this is my personal experience and very, very intimate, I don't plan to delve into more details, but after recent situations and some zolu shippers sharing their aroace identity, I thought I would share mine.
As an aroace person, I have never experienced conventional physical attraction, but that in no way means I haven't fallen in love. With my partners, I came to experience a close emotional bond of trust and attachment, which led me to fall in love. There was no sensuality, flirting or courtship. Physical intimacy was not an act of carnal desire either, but rather an emotional and close experience.
A lot of this has resonated with the Zolu ship for me. It is not about passions or carnal desires, it is about that emotional bond full of affection and genuine trust. It is not a fall in love produced by dopines, serotonins and oxycotins. It's about knowing a person, really knowing them, and not being able to imagine your days without them. For me, it is not feeling my heart race when I see them, rather the opposite, it is feeling calm and safe. It's not desperation or debauchery to jump into bed with them, it's the curiosity of sharing a new experience with your partner, even though you know you could be fine without it. And it can be great and satisfying, but you know that you couldn't do it with just anyone, only with the one with whom you share so many emotions and affections.
It is something so rare for me to find within fiction that I have not been able to help identifying myself, not in Zoro or Luffy, but in this way of loving someone. That is why, above all, I value their true relationship within the canon. It feels like "more than a friendship but less than a brotherhood". Unlike many fictional pairings, this is one of those few that is based on affection, loyalty, respect, good and kind things.
Yes, I am an aroace person and have had some of the experiences that many have said an aroace person is not capable of, and Zolu is not only a comfort ship for me, it also helps me affirm my identity. Maybe that's why many of us aroace love this ship, at least I think I can understand why aroace like their dynamics so much.
Like I said, this is just my experience and point of view.
Furthermore, there is no canonical sexuality for these characters, and just because you like to imagine that Luffy is an aroace who ignores romance and doesn't understand physical intimacy doesn't mean you should push it towards others.
And screw everyone who says that an aroace can't fall in love or enjoy sex with someone. For me, Zoro and Luffy fuck each other👌
131 notes · View notes
our-aroace-experience · 2 months
Note
(TW for vent full of internalized aphobia.)
I'm aroace and agender/genderless, which kind of puts me in a weird spot because I'm not cishet (because I'm... Neither cis nor het), but I'm not confidently LGBTQ+ either because it's a discourse topic that I don't want to get involved in. I stayed in the closet for at least a couple years because I internalized so much of that shit and was convinced my identity was inherently problematic somehow lol.
So, just to be safe and avoid intruding on anyone's space, I just say I'm neither cishet nor queer/LGBTQ+. Problem is, it seems like everyone wants you to be one of those things or the other. If I say I'm not LGBTQ+, people assume I'm cishet, which leads to me getting misgendered and/or assumed to be straight even though I'm definitely not (and that has led to some uncomfortable situations with straight people thinking I might be into them). But if I say I'm not cishet, people put me in the LGBTQ+ community regardless of whether or not I really belong there, so I feel like I'm infiltrating someone else's community and stealing from them.
One time I met someone online who was trans, biromantic, and ace, and she also didn't consider herself LGBTQ+ because she had seen a lot of transphobia biphobia and aphobia in that community. And it surprised me so much, because it had never occurred to me that there are people who don't consider themselves part of the community despite having "real LGBT" identities.
This sounds weird, but I wonder how many others out there consider themselves "neither." It's kind of lonely but for me it feels like the safest option, at least for now.
(I just want to add, this isn't meant to attack ace/aro/agender people who do consider themselves LGBTQ+. That's completely fine, and if I wasn't so jaded by ace discourse I'd probably identify as such too. I consider myself "neither" because of personal reasons related to aphobia, not because I believe A is for ally or anything like that.)
discourse is the worst, and i’m sorry it’s made you feel you can’t be a part of the community, you absolutely can if you want to!
56 notes · View notes
kittycathat · 2 months
Note
LGBTQIABCDEFJ is not real just stop. It's made up acronym that is rarely used outside of tumblr. Queer is not an identity its just an adjective. most intersex people explicitly state they do not consider themselves lgbt. Most lgbt people do not want to associate with aro and aces. And most lgbt in the real world living normal lives and not chronically online have little to no contact or knowledge of asexuals we literally dont care. Ur existence is so insignificant offline and if we ever met a self proclaimed aroace het cis man we would probably make sure we never had to associate with him again. Ur not gay just give it up and go live a normal life. Ur a single cis person. U either dont have the emotional capacity to love someone or u are sex repulsed and dont want to have a relationship with someone either way thats just normal and there are plenty of people like that we dont really care if u want to be alone all ur life just leave actual struggling gay people alone and shutup about ur stupid discourse no one cares except urselves.
That is true, the acronym is actually LGBTQIA (with variations,) not LGBTQIABCDEFJ. /sarc
but anyways hi anon! Theres a lot to unpack here
about "lgbtqia is rarely used outside of tumblr": that's the problem, bc we want it to be
about "its not an identity just an adjective": not quite sure what you're on, bc it literally is
about intersex people: this goes against what you just said, and supports that "queer" is an identity even more?? because these intersex people are choosing whether they identify as queer or not
about lgbtqia people not wanting to associate aro or ace people: bro if these are people you actually know irl, please find new friends. Find friends who actually support normal who are living their lives, just without romantic and/or sexual attraction.
about me being chronically online: anon.... i dont think you can talk after you typed out this whole thing as an attempt to make me feel bad... but ok. (also not very related but anonymous hate is a very very pathetic thing to do)
about asexuality being not well known: Also not sure what rock you live under but asexuality is pretty well known??? like the average person (at least where i live) will most likely know what it is.
about cishet aroace men: .. ok but why would i not want to associate with him? plus everyone lgbtqia is "self proclaimed" so idk bro
about not having "emotional capacity": bro what the hell do you want me to do,, i've literally never felt romantic attraction in my life
about "there are plenty of people like that": People might not want to be in romantic relationships for a number of reasons, but if it's because they don't feel romantic attraction... then they're aro-spec. Thank you for supporting the aro community by saying it's normal <333
about "we dont really care if u want to be alone all ur life": bro its the internet if you don't like what i'm talking about just SCROLL
about leaving "actual struggling gay people" alone: .. when did i do anything against gay people? Plus if you're trying to stop hate... why did you anonymously send a literal hate essay to me
about "ur not gay just live a normal life": omg you got something right!! i'm actually not gay!! (so proud of you <3) Also i do live a normal life, i am so basic you can't even imagine
about no one caring: well you see.. thats the problem. that's part of why i post about aromanticism, because i want people to be actually supportive
anyways! tysm for reading all that. please be civil in comments, and be kind to everyone guys <3
53 notes · View notes
aromanticmina · 11 months
Text
master-list of arospec labels and microlabels
I like collecting knowledge of a lot of queer labels,arospec ones being no exception,so I'm doing a big post with all the ones I know, for fun and because it could be helpful for questioning folks out there!
all under the cut!
Aromantic: someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction, experiences it very rarely/vaguely, or otherwise has a significantly different/complicated experience with romantic attraction than most (alloromantic) people. It is a spectrum and anyone on it can simply call themselves aro if they want.
Greyromantic: someone who experiences (or has experienced) romantic attraction, but vaguely and/or rarely.
Demiromantic: someone who experiences romantic attraction only in the specific circumstance that they're really close with that person (or people), they do not experience "love at first sight."
Frayromantic: the opposite of demiromantic, someone who only experiences romantic attraction towards someone they're not close with, and if they ever get to know that person (or people) better,the attraction eventually fades.
Lithromantic: someone who can experience romantic attraction,but if that attraction is ever reciprocated, then the feeling abruptly (or slowly) stops.
Aroflux: someone whose romantic attraction can fluctuate, and is never really static, meaning their (romantic) feelings for someone may change every now and then, fading and intensifying over time.
Cupioromantic: someone who doesn't experience romantic relationship, but wants or has a romantic relationship.
Aegoromantic: someone who doesn't experience romantic attraction,but likes things that are "romantic" (movies,books,aesthetics,etc)
Non-sam aro: An aromantic person who doesn't use the split attraction model, they are "just aro"
AlloAro: an aromantic person who experiences sexual attraction.
Aroace/Arose: an aromantic person who is also asexual/in the ace spectrum.
Apothiromantic: someone who doesn't experience romantic attraction and is repulsed by romantic things and/or acts.
Quoiromantic: someone who doesn't understand what romantic attraction is,doesn't think the term "romantic attraction" is applicable to their experiences at all,or someone who doesn't think defining whether or not they experience romantic attraction is useful or important for them.
Bellusromantic: someone who doesn't experience romantic attraction but enjoys things that are typically seen as romantic acts (kissing,cuddling,etc)
Arospike: someone who usually doesn't experience romantic attraction, but occasionally experiences a sudden rise of attraction, before it eventually fades again.
Nebularomantic: someone who is aromantic because of their neurodivergency or their neurodivergency plays a big role in how they experience their aromanticism.
Reciproromantic: someone who doesn't experience romantic attraction unless the person falls in love with them first.
Alicoromantic: someone who knows they're on the aromantic spectrum but doesn't think any other label fits their experience.
Orchidromantic: the opposite of cupioromantic, someone who experiences romantic attraction but doesn't want a romantic relationship.
Myrromantic: someone who identifies with multiple aromantic spectrum labels at the same time.
Uniromantic: someone who only experiences romantic attraction to one (1) person for a long period of time, and this attraction is never felt for anyone else.
Platoniromantic: someone who can't distinguish between romantic and platonic attraction, therefore can't really say if what they're feeling for someone is romantic or platonic.
Caedromantic: someone who is aromantic because of their trauma.
Idemromantic: someone who doesn't experience romantic and platonic attraction differently, but can distinguish between their "platonic" and "romantic" relationships based on external factors.
Romo aro: an aromantic person whose attraction,experiences,or feeling may be considered romantic in some sort of way.
Loveless aro: an aromantic person who doesn't label any of their feelings as "love", sometimes because the word "love" is usually used to indicate romance and they want to avoid that, because the word doesn't have any meaning to them,as an act of rebellion against amatonormativity,etc.
Lovequeer aro: an aromantic person who chooses to center other types of love who are often seen as "less" than romantic love and/or their unique personal experience with these other types of love.
251 notes · View notes
Note
Hey could we get some general headcanons about Splendor, Candy Pop and Jason? ^^
Ah yes, the best boys <333
Thank you for requesting!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Splendor
He, along with the rest of his species, dont really have genders, so most of the time he just rolls with whatever people refer to him as. In his mansion, he's actually known as "Mother" due to his motherly nature with his children
He's also aroace (though that wouldnt apply to x reader fics)
He's the second youngest of all his brothers
He generally tries to look like a clown (hence why he has a smiling face complete with eyes and his brothers don't) that way children don't feel scared around him
He's truly great with everyone, not just kids
He has his own mansion, but instead of angsty emos, his house is more of a safe space for all of the unwanted or unhappy children
9'6" so very tall
I imagine his voice to sound like a mixture of Sundrop and Cheese sandwich
He smells familiar, no specific scent, just something you know you've smelt before but can't quite place your finger on
He visits Slender at his mansion the most, usually bringing candies for everyone
He's become known as "That guy with the face and full snickers bars" around Slender's mansion
He doesnt tend to go into the mortal realm too often, but when he does it's when he senses a troubled soul in need of immediate help
And when he does have those senses, he usually brings them back into his mansion in the underworld, giving them all the hospitality and comfort they could ever desire
Splendorman is an oddball, that's for sure
I also like to imagine he says weird things sometimes, just to throw people off guard
"Beware the men with the tilted hats....they arent worth it"
He likes rick and morty, but doesn't actually watch the show he just likes the colors
His favorite meal is octopus tentacles
Candypop
Bro doesn't know what they are
They don't really have a gender either, so most of the time he just identifies as male or non binary
He's also into men (again, doesnt necessarily apply to x reader)
They usually aren't seen a lot around slender's mansion, mostly because they, Lj and Jason tend to hang out in the uppermost level of the mansion and giggle around like the chaotic neutrals they are <3
They absolutely order starbucks, bribe another creep to bring it up to them, and then gossip with each other about all of the other creeps
Most of the time they spare their dear friend who brought up their orders though. They arent horrible, now
They smell like literal musk and jolly ranchers 💀
It's very upsetting
He likes to just bang his hammer mallet thingy against the wall for absolutely no reason
They're like 8'11"
He gets a kick out of seeing people jump from the BOOM
Their face doesn't actually look like how it is seen in pictures, most of that is actually makeup
The only natural things is their skin tone, their sharp teeth, and their hair and eye colors
They have a very deep chainsmokers voice
Sorry, I don't make the rules
They unironically listen to one direction and 5 seconds of summer on full blast
"BABY YOU LIGHT UP MY WORLD LIKE NOBODY ELSE"
Lj definitely had to bang on their wall a few times with his fist just to get them to shut up a few times
The only times he is seen around the mansion, hes normally sliding around the hardfloor on socks, avoiding everyone as best they can because lord knows if someone actually spoke to them theyd just evaporate, never to be seen again
Jason the Toymaker
When he first manifested in this world, he was mostly just trying to look human so he could get away with inhabiting this place
So he identifies as "male" and has traditional male anatomy
He is interested in anyone romantically speaking, but does have a fem lean (doesn't apply to x reader)
He has the dantiest little hands <3
6'2", so he's definetly not the tallest creep. but he's up there
His fingers are long and slender, as well as long nails that help him with sewing
His skin is really smooth
And his hair is really well taken care of
He just has the best self care in general
He's always working on some project, wether that be making a doll, or sewing a fancy tea party dress for sally that she absolutely needed, his hands are always busy
He can get frustrated very easily though, and thats kind of a bummer
He doesn't have anger issues necessarily, but he's very sensetive and emotional, so anything said to him might tick him off into a stream of tears or a flurry of rage
He's normally one of the only ones to actually clean around the house
His hair color depends on his mood
For example, if hes really upset, his hair is black, his true form is white, and he actually uses a spell to keep his hair red the rest of the time
He's that one friend
You know the one
The nice one?
Yeah that's him
He smells like old fabrics and dust
But sometimes if he's feeling ✨ spicy ✨ he'll wear some sweet smelling perfume
Never cologne, he doesnt like how harsh it smells
He likes to watch cartoons with sally, and sing with sally
He's simply wonderful <3
452 notes · View notes
variousqueerthings · 5 months
Text
A Smallish Masterpost On The Doctor And Asexuality/Aromanticism
Back in 2019 I apparently made this post about The Doctor and asexuality and aromanticism on my other blog and I have nooo memory of it. so, updated version that's got a bit more going for it:
A small masterpost of various people talking about The Doctor's "Asexuality" - feat. asexuality, aromanticism, demisexuality, demiromanticism, allosexuality, alloromanticism, and a whole squiggly set of queer concepts, as well as discussions about sexism
NOTE: additions are welcome, and forgive the rambles
So classic!who presented the Doctor as a type of asexual, in which the asexuality was a facet of alienness, rather than necessarily based in any community identification of the label -- in the real world, there's documentation of the word asexual since at least the early 1900s (so in tandem with the increasing use of homo, bi, and heterosexual, if not as widespread), as well as overlaps with other communities and labels, such as bisexual and lesbian communities (which both include/d ace people), dandyism, etc. -- so a rich, complex history bubbling beneath all of this (the most famous coining of asexual is in I believe a manifesto from 1978 off the top of my head)
this real world stuff was not what was going on in the world of Doctor Who when it was called Asexual as far as I'm aware - although, I mean... I'm sure there were actual ace and aro fans...? - but it's interesting to know that it was definitely going on, and so no matter what the intent was (alienness, the doctor intended as patriarchal/teacher-like, the doctor intended as for children, etcetc) there is some real overlap with actual asexuality at the time, including within the word itself
and then a bunch of people got really pissed off when the Eighth Doctor broke the rule that the Doctor must always be totally disconnected from romance- waaait but that's not asexuality. And yeah, that's the other thing. Asexuality is used interchangeably as being both aromanticism and asexuality and aroaceness, because people just don't know better- we'll try to make distinctions, but it can be difficult, with how others were conflating, so be Prepared for that in below
in Nu!Who the doctor seemingly got a bit friskier, so let's take a look at that as well
1. First some general Doctor Who – the first asexual Doctors:
The question of the Doctor's sexuality was a controversial one. It was fanon for decades that he was asexual; fans used the Fourth Doctor's line in City of Death that Countess Scarlioni was "probably" beautiful as proof. Sixth Doctor actor Colin Baker agreed with this theory, saying, "Love is a human emotion and the Doctor isn't human." (REF: The Television Companion) Both Matt Smith[6] and Tom Baker (DOC: Getting Blood from the Stones) have identified that their respective Doctors are asexual and clueless to human sexuality; both exploited this for visual humour
(note: Steven Moffat made the comment that the eighth doctor “hit puberty” which were very controversial, but Moffat has often made controversial statements in regards to asexuality, suggesting that he finds it “boring” to write in relation to Sherlock Holmest:
It’s the choice of a monk, not the choice of an asexual. If he was asexual, there would be no tension in that, no fun in that – it’s someone who abstains who’s interesting
(it's ironic that Sherlock Holmes is his other show considering Holmes himself as an asexual icon being sexualised more and more in recent iterations -- but also that arguably Elementary's Sherlock was kind of aromantic and allosexual, which is a Very Very Rare Thing To Write)
These gifs of Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy pretty much sum up the idea of classic!who smooching People
CB: He's an alien, so what's he doing messing around with human women for? For heavens sake SM: You know Doctor Who had been very successful for 30 year without canoodling anywhere
Both of these have a tad of the "asexuality is for aliens" + "allosexuality as a whole is not for this show" (which isn't quiiite true, considering the objectification of several of the companions, who did canoodle with some people... just not the doctor)
youtube
This video is a great little rundown of the queer history of Doctor Who and includes this nugget from Steven Moffat back in the day of Discourse around the Eighth Doctor being a bit less Asexual than previous incarnations:
"What on Earth (or elsewhere) is the fuss about the Dr snogging his companion? Nowhere in the series does it *ever* state that the Doc is asexual (it's purely an assumption on the part of the fans) and the fact that he has a a grandaughter might lead the pedants among us to conclude otherwise (and no it wasn't a term of affection - that's just another assumption and an entirely baseless one at that.) We know that humans and Time Lords are mutually sexually attracted (Susan and Whats-his-name, Leela and Thingummy, The Doctor and that-Aztec-woman) and that the Dr favours bimbos in mini-skirts (what, you think he was choosing them for their brains?) The most you could conclude from watching the show is that he's a little reticent about involvement (not surprising when your inability for commitment extends to your entire home planet!) So if the Doc's vow of celibacy is a fan assumption which flies directly in the face of the established continuity, why would you think a new series would pay any heed to it? Steven Moffat P.S. I mean, the guy has one snog in thirty years of saving our planet and you're all complaining! You utter, utter bastards!!
I think what's also interesting about this comment is the inevitable link between allosexuality and sexism that also exists in Steven Moffat's tenure as showrunner. how does one show a [man] into a [woman?] By making her wear short skirts and having the dude make comments about it of course
Also very funny it actually hits upon a very good point -- there are allosexual Timelords (I'd disagree about the Doctor and that-Aztec-woman) (second note here about how even in this message it's kind of clear how secondary romance was for DW, the romantic partners are Not memorable characters), so if the Doctor is sort of... not like the other Timelords, then the asexuality and aromanticism is not alien... it's the Doctor
2.  A bit about the show's attitude towards writing the Doctor as asexual and how that interest has waned over the years:
But that was then and this is now, and the discussion over whether or not the Doctor is still an asexual character has certainly become very heated. Many fans have asked whether or not the Doctor can still be considered asexual, given the nature of the current show. John Richards, in a brilliant and surprisingly funny essay for Queers Dig Time Lords titled “The Heterosexual Agenda,” lamented the aggressive assertion of the Doctor’s heterosexuality
youtube
This is the Confidential episode around The Girl In The Fireplace around the Doctor and "snogging" and ways in which fans might read it (fans can "explain it away" as "she kissed him")
In it we get a bit more about Moffat's whole... deal... around women and the Doctor. It's interesting because he argues that it works because Madame de Pompadour is a "match" for the Doctor due to being well-educated and civilised and multi-talented... "if the Doctor was going to settle down, it would be a girl like this," in the season in which one might argue the main romance is with Rose, a working-class woman who never finished highschool
so a bit about the ways sexism, classism, and heteronormativity also play into the writing of a "more allosexual" Doctor...
It also includes DT saying they had an extraordinary relationship that was over before it began -- I just like how he refers to it without attempting to label it
the framing of the confidential episode is very romantic, just so you're prepared. It also has more unintentional framing of the Doctor's potentially "falling in love" as a more "human" emotion (in contrast to alien emotions of not falling in love)
as you can hear, it conflates allosexuality and alloromanticism throughout
3.  Eleven, He's A Little Confused But He's.... kinda? Got the Spirit (and an unfortunate slice of sexism/heteronormativity):
One thing has been a constant, though — the Doctor himself has been entirely asexual, save for the notorious on-screen kiss during Paul McGann’s performance as the Eighth Doctor in the one-off special made during the show’s wilderness years, a kiss that had fans outraged precisely because it was so out of character and proved that the producers behind the telemovie had no idea what they were doing.
It’s interesting how recent Doctor Who has, if anything, emphasized this idea of the Doctor’s asexuality; Matt Smith said earlier this year that his version of the character was “more asexual than some of the others,” and in 2011 he answered a question about whether his version of the Doctor is at all interested in sex as follows: “No. The Doc’s idea of an orgy is playing chess with an ostrich. His brain doesn’t work in that way. He would find it weird and peculiar. He finds women peculiar. He is quite asexual.”
The idea that the Doctor “finds women peculiar” is probably one that says more about Matt Smith than it does about the Doctor’s character — 30 years of Doctor Who history rather contradict the idea that the Doctor finds women any stranger than men, and in general he has been characterized by his enduring affection for humanity in general, regardless of gender.
In general the way people talk about Matt Smith’s doctor to me, often has a bit of infantilisation along with it - of course we can read him as ace, because he’s boyish, hyperactive, and distracted... he's weird and alien
youtube
There's also this cute little fan-video that has some Nine, Ten, and Twelve but is mainly focusing on Eleven's asexual Vibes in a couple of scenes, which actually is something I've always struggled a little more with, because Moffat had Eleven doing sexist shit occasionally and was also soooo male-gazey, but it's also got one of my favourite ace moments for the Doctor period ("I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!????")
(the scenes with Amy in this exemplifies so much of what I dislike about Moffat, but it's also fascinatingly The Tightrope Of Asexuality -- Amy is essentially violating the Doctor's consent over and over, but it's fine because "he's" a "bloke" -- she then goes on to show the Doctor's former companions on screen.... but notably only the women, and making a biiig mistake in including I think both Zoe and Ace, who were teenagers when they travelled with the Doctor... implying that that was... idek......)
I will also acknowledge here that while I don't think Moffat ever got... super comfortable writing queerness, he did get much, much better and stopped constantly referring to the doctor as a "bloke," who does bloke-y things (like objectify women, care too much about machinery/the TARDIS, and be a playboy who whisks away young girls in order to seduce them, I guess?)
and I personally think that the gender component plays into the Doctor's increased asexual vibes in his run (which is ironic considering where Moffat started lol), but I'd have to do wa-HAY more of a deep dive to actually confirm that... just a theory.... but also interesting that asexuality and aromanticism is more fine, because the Doctor is not a bloke......
it's complicated
4. Ten, The Jessica Rabbit Effect (just because you think they're hot doesn't mean they want to fuck)
[Patrick Troughton and Sylvester McCoy] would hardly have been much cop as Casanova; the 2005 TV role for which Tennant won much praise. Perhaps that's why the Times christened him "the first Timephwoard". "That's the Times?" he boggles. "It's, er, quite surprising..." Or why the Pink Paper voted him the Sexiest Man In The Universe, above Brad Pitt and David Beckham.
in general, it seems unequivocal to me that ten doesn’t like getting hit on, even playfully [...] not only does he seem consistently uninterested in these advances, but in most cases, a bit confused and/or unsettled by the idea of being hit on by anyone. contrary to the ‘space casanova’ narrative frequently espoused by magazines and interviewers, in reality ten is no stud. far from it. apart from with rose, he never reciprocates flirtatious behavior, nor does he ever seem pleased to be on the receiving end of it. 
https://tenscupcake.tumblr.com/post/126914939560/dunderklumpen-that-smug-face-needs-to-be
[Link to a gifset in which The Witch in The Shakespeare Code tries to seduce the Doctor and he answers “now that’s one form of magic that definitely won’t work on me.
the second/third/fourth gifs are of David T saying: “she nearly kisses me. I don’t nearly kiss her. It’s an important distinction.”
youtube
This interview is around the time the final RTD/DT episodes were beginning to air
Interviewer: Lots of snogging you've done, there was- DT: Not lots Interviewer: More- I'm trying to think now I don't remember any of the previous doctors- DT: More than Jon Pertwee did, yes Interviewer: Yes a lot more than Jon Pertwee... what-how come...? DT: I can't help it if the ladies of the Universe are flinging themselves at me, you know? Its not, you know, it's just part of the job I have- It's- usually it's not a sexual thing with the Doctor. He's a fairly asexual character. Interviewer: So what's with the kissing then? DT: Well, I don't think- there's a genetic transfer as it was once... or, and you know these women just can't help themselves, I don't know-
5.  12, Too Old To Be Romantic?
Capaldi talking about his relationship with Clara, noting the age-difference as reasons why they would never be a romantic couple (the subtext here is non-sexual as well, although it conflates the two).
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/sep/15/doctor-who-needs-lots-more-kissing-according-to-peter-capaldi
[Capaldi] said there was “no romance, but deep love” between the Doctor and Clara, played by Jenna Coleman.
“It would have been completely creepy,” the star told the Radio Times. “It’s fine if you have handsome young men like Matt [Smith] and David Tennant, but as a father I felt it would be inappropriate.
Capaldi laughed off complaints that his first full episode last year was promoting a gay agenda after it featured a kiss between a lizard woman and her human wife. “I think it was good,” he said.
“Actually it’s not just lesbian. It’s across species, which is even worse, presumably. It’s crazy if people get up in arms about it. There should be lots more kissing in Doctor Who. So long as it’s not the Doctor and Clara.”
Honestly I wonder how much the hype died down because he was no longer young and "hot." Skill issue honestly
6.  The Doctor and The Master/Missy 
I feel like I don't have enough on this, and that's also a facet of the whole "is the Doctor now allosexual and alloromantic." It seems to only really come up in relation to the [seemingly] het relationships
I don't really see much in relation to the Doctor and Jack (who's canonically in love with the Doctor) or the Doctor and Simm's Master -- I mean, fanfic, yes, but not bigger article-worthy discussion...
(and Jamie and the Doctor and Adric and the Doctor and Alan Turing and the Doctor......)
so if anyone has a bit to add on that
Most of it is in relation to... Moffat's sexier "Missy." (sigh). However very interested in what Michelle Gomez (who was excellent as the character!) had to say about it:
She added a female time lord "blows open all these new possibilities for different relationship that couldn't have happened before" but denied the idea of sexual chemistry between Missy and the Doctor.
"You're reading into it something I've never even thought of," she said.
The Scottish star added: "With [the Doctor’s young companion] Clara, it would have been straight away, ‘What is the romantic connection, does the Master fancy her?’ No. We can move past that, into something much more interesting, much more detailed, which is life. That’s what life is. It’s not all black and white."
Idk, she seems to get something intrinsic about the possibilities of all this that many others don't
Gifset of The Mistress (being questioned by Clara on the nature of Missy’s/the Doctor’s relationship): Try, nanobrain, to rise above the reproductive frenzy of your noisy little food chain and contemplate friendship.
I find the whole post quite charming actually, it's a small moment in Doctor Who fandom from a specific person. I don't even remember how I originally found it
7. Misc
I don't really have anything on Thirteen currently, because I haven't seen all of those seasons yet. I know Yaz/Thirteen is very shipped, I assume I'll prooobably feel similarly to all the other Doctor/Companion ships in that I'll be going at it from an aromantic lens
I have seen discussions about how the Doctor’s perceived romantic and/or sexual relationship with this person or other (insert your preferred person here, Rose, Madame de Pompadour, River…) has made him too human, too normal. Discussions that assume that romantic and sexual attraction is an inherent part of human experience, so removing them from a character makes him alien.
This is about the way "Asexuality" (meaning aroaceness) applied purely to alien creatures isn't... great... for aroace people
I have lost count of the number of times I’ve heard fans discuss wanting a more alien “asexual Doctor”, which is generally taken to mean “no romance in the Tardis.”
It often goes back to the same questions: is the Doctor's "Asexuality" (that is, asexuality and aromanticism) purely used to indicate the alien? When John Smith is human he falls in love and asks "what sort of a man" the Doctor is that falling in love didn't occur to him. Many classic actors (whom I have a great deal of affection for) tend to use alien as the reason for the so-called Asexuality, and that seems to lie at a lot of the fans discomfort with a more "sexy" Doctor of nu!who, rather than anything to do with character or portraying asexuality and aromanticism in sci-fi
and on the flipside, people who very much like an alloromantic and allosexual Doctor dismiss aroace Doctor reads because of things that are absolutely within the purview of an aroace experience (I've seen anything from having a grandkid to being hot to caring about others to knowing what sex is)
I wonder if actually consciously writing an aroace Doctor would make people really uncomfortable as well, since it would remove the "alienness" from the idea of it... also it would make people who really really like allosexual and alloromantic Doctor angry too... so no winning I guess
I wonder how Ncuti Gatwa alongside RTD's queerness will redefine the subtext of it all once again...
85 notes · View notes