Tumgik
#also a little sad when you think about it.. like
scientia-rex · 3 days
Text
One of my patients used to be a Big Deal Specialist in the city and you can just TELL he’s SEETHING that no one out here is even qualified to understand what he did, much less how important he was. He’s also terrified of death. It’s both annoying and really sad. Like, sir, I hate to break it to you, but no amount of knowledge will protect you from the ravages of time. It’s a special kind of hell to know the stages of various fatal diseases intimately. What is it going to feel like when it’s my turn? How do doctors want to die? Suddenly, quietly. Slip away painlessly in my sleep. But how likely is that? Not very. More likely I’ll get cardiovascular disease or cancer, the greatest killers of our time.
He was so afraid of cancer he had an organ that wasn’t cancerous removed just in case. He talks down to me as if I’m his student, and who knows? Maybe I was. He was in the same city as me, and they were forever dragging Big Name Doctors in to teach us things. Maybe I learned how to elicit Achilles tendon reflexes from him.
But mostly I find myself a little scornful. Who lives without the shadow of death? Who doesn’t think about death all the time? When you die, life is a round thing, finished and whole. What will your life look like when God holds it in the palm of his hand?
Also don’t fucking call me by my first name unless I’ve specifically said you can. I don’t GIVE that permission to patients, except for my mentally ill trans and queer patients. If I wanted to be disrespected by an older man I would have married young.
You do not have time. This important doctor who based his whole life around his importance lived as rich and full a life as anyone. And now he’s clinging to it, leaving fingernail marks on the walls on his way out. No one has time. There will be a moment when you’re dying when you think, I would give anything I have to be back in that moment. Any ordinary moment. Taking the dogs out to go potty. Browsing at the grocery store. When you’re being crucified on a hospital bed, dying and aware of it through the morphine, you would give anything you ever possessed to go back and have one more agony-free afternoon. Sit on a curb or a stoop. Walk through a park. Hug your spouse. These tiny fragmentary moments that we are constantly sliding through, tobogganing past at high speeds, these are what will be our life when our life is over.
I am accountable to that self. To the dying me. What did I do with this gift and curse? I don’t believe in God, but I know that I will die, and I have watched enough dying people by now to know the kinds of things I’ll think about. I want to make that me proud of what I’ve done and how I’ve spent my life. She will be a harder judge than God, and I want her to look at this one little life and think, yes. I did what I meant to.
1K notes · View notes
irndad · 2 days
Note
Hi, I’m so sorry, I searched for request guidelines and must be missing them so if this isn’t something you write I apologize-
Flower prompt heliotrope with Spencer where reader sacrifices herself/or gets shot to save Maeve so Spencer can be happy, even though she’s hopelessly in love with him. 🥹
Little angst, little fluff. You can decide if reader fully sacrifices or just gets really badly hurt and how Spencer reacts.
my dear!! there are no rules yet- i have things i won't fill but thus far the onus has been on me to clarify. i had so much fun writing this- thank you for requesting it!!! requests r open :^) wc: 1.1k
Tumblr media
“Is Maeve okay?”
It’s the first thing she says when she wakes up from her hospital bed. Spencer’s shaking, a little woozy too. It turns out that they have the same blood type, and she lost a whole fucking lot of it. He’d been happy to give it to her, although ‘happy’feels like the wrong word to use in this situation. 
She had internal bleeding, and collapsed harshly from the gunshot, scuffing her forehead so badly she needed stitches. Comparatively, it’s the least of her worries, but still- Spencer can’t stop staring at it. She’s literally marred by the choice she made to protect him. 
Maeve is okay. She’s in the same hospital, but Spencer’s spent about ten minutes with her- the rest of the last 12 hours of his life were spent oscillating between donating blood and praying to a deity he’s not sure exists. 
She’d survived. They’d both survived. He should feel relieved- why doesn’t he feel relieved?
It’s a stupid question that he keeps asking himself. Two of the most important people in his life are alive, but still in the moment, her blood spilling over him- the gasp of her breath when the bullet hit her- He’s going to remember the sound of it forever, what it sounded like for her to almost die for someone else. He hates that she’s the type of person to do it. To jump in front of a loaded gun for a woman she’s never met before. 
He’s mad at her. He has no right to be- he gets a chance with Maeve now, and that’s all due to the choice she made. And yet- he’s so, so angry at her. Because she could be dead right now. He could never, ever talk to her again. She made a choice that meant that he might have never been able to hear her voice, do a magic trick for her, ever, ever be near her again. How the fuck could she do that to him?
“Yes,” he replies, “she’s okay.”
She nods agreeably, before wincing at what appeared to be an intense ache at her temples. 
“My head hurts,” she says, her voice low and endearing, and his heart roars with protectiveness. “Do you think I could have a juice box?”
She’s so sweet- he wants to laugh, in a sad desperate kind of way. This is his favorite person in the world, sitting up shakily and asking for juice, clearly groggy and so endearing. He almost lost her. 
“You’re okay too,” he says, “If you’re wondering. You scared us. You had internal bleeding and a concussion. You lost a lot of blood.”
It’s only then she frowns. 
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” she pouts, trying to sit up and speak to him. “But it all worked out, Spence. She’s okay.”
“It didn’t all work out!” Her eyes widen at his outburst, and he feels like scum. Yelling at her when she’s in a hospital bed, taking a bullet so he’d have a chance at romance. 
“You said she’s okay,” she says back, slowly. “I don’t understand.”
“You lost blood. You almost died. That is not it working out. You have to tell me you understand that.” He doesn’t know why he’s being so harsh, but he also doesn’t know why he has to explain this to her. 
“I know,” she sighs, “I know. But this is the job, and I didn’t have time to get a vest on!”
“Then you wait. You wait. You don’t just burst in-“
“And you would’ve lost the love of your life!”
“What makes you think she’s the love of my life?”
A nurse shuffles by the room and Spencer takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to be kicked out of her room, and on some level he knows how crazy it is to be yelling at a gunshot victim. He pinches his nose, eyes winced in frustration. 
She’s been his favorite person by a wide margin for an incredibly long time. She joined the team as a consultant and he remembers the first time he did a card trick for her- the first time he’d fallen asleep on her shoulder. He was so grateful to know her. Still is. In this moment, knowing feels like time slipping out from an hourglass- like it was almost numbered. Their time was almost finished. 
Maeve was lovely. Maeve listened and she was kind and Spencer really did like her. He’s glad she’s safe, now. But his best friend, his coworker and favorite person- Spencer thought everyone could tell that he’s been in love with the team consultant since the first week he knew her. 
Everything he liked about Maeve reminded him of her. 
And she’d jumped in front of a bullet for someone she thought he was in love with. And fuck, maybe he did love her in some way- but whatever ‘in love’ meant with Maeve, this sorrow, the pain of knowing she’d almost been someone he’d have to remember was far, far deeper. 
“You’ve never mentioned anyone to me romantically. I’ve known you for years, Spencer. She’s important to you.”
Maeve is. She was. It’s all so confusing now. He has liked someone for years, though. He couldn’t tell her, though. Maeve was a welcome distraction from a love he thought was wholly impractical and impossible to love him back— a love that now he has to witness languish in a hospital bed. 
Morgan knew. Morgan would tease him every time Spencer drew a smiley face in purple marker on her coffee cup. He would tell him to just ask her out, and it had always felt so improbable. She’d never go for someone as lanky and uncharismatic as him. 
“You’re important to me.” 
She has no idea how much. 
Her eyes soften at that, and not for the first time, he wants to curl into her arms. He wants to lay next to her in the hospital bed, and feel her pulse beat against bare skin. Feel her pulse and with every beat know that she is alive. 
“I know that, Spence,” she breathes out.
Even though it’s not kosher, not necessarily the right thing to do when your not-girlfriend/girl you went on one date with is in the same hospital, but when his best friend opens up her arms for a hug, he ends up doing exactly what he wanted. 
The team finds her asleep in her hospital bed, with Spencer asleep in her arms. It feels voyeuristic to look at, but Spencer really, really couldn’t care. 
He resolved to tell her that he loves her as soon as she’s healed. With the way Morgan side eyes him every time he ‘helps’ her walk across a room by holding her waist, he’s not sure he’ll last that long. 
730 notes · View notes
ssahotchnerr · 3 days
Note
thinking about celebrating jacks bday with aaron🥺
like maybe it’s just a chill year and you guys just go out for dinner and do cake later in the day
or bday party with all his friends and it’s star wars themed
awww yes 🥹 tw food, the haley part makes me want to sob btw
jack's birthday happens to fall on a weekday, so he has school, both you and aaron have work.
so when you wake him up!!! hehe you shower him with sooo much love and make sure his morning is off to the bestest start. both you and aaron tease him a bit too 🤭 - asking why and how is he growing up so fast and to please stop so he can be your little jack forever (and jack pinky promises he always will be 😭😭😭)
instead of the usual oatmeal or cereal for breakfast, aaron got jack's favorite doughnuts 🥹 and hehe you even put a birthday candle on one so you can sing happy birthday to him before he's off to school. and if there's time, jack gets to open one present to tie him over for the day 🥰
you also pack jack's lunch with some fun surprises too <33 maybe instead of a sandwich, he gets a lunchable which is a somewhat rare occurrence and he is THRILLED to find it at lunchtime. also!! you baked brownies for jack's class so they can all celebrate him, but you put an extra brownie in his lunch to spoil him just a lil more
and after school <333 you lounge around with jack until aaron gets home 🥹 since it was his birthday, he has a no homework pass from his teacher 🫶🏻 so you hear all about his fun day, watch his favorite movie, play with the gift he got that morning (legos), and hehe jack is sooooo impatient for aaron to get home to begin all the birthday festivities; he just keeps asking you "whennn is dad gonna get home🥺"
and when he (finally) does 🥰🥰🥰 jack opens the rest of his presents, the three of you go to his favorite restaurant (or order it to go to enjoy in the comfort of home, whatever jack's feeling), and finish the day off with birthday cake of course <333 and if jessica is available!!! she joins as well 🫶🏻
and 🥺 at bedtime, the three of you snuggle up closely in jack's bed, and aaron get's jack's 'haley candle' for him to talk to her - this is a must on his birthday. jack tells her about his day, his favorite things he's done the past year, and anything he wants to do the next 🥺 (and while jack doesn't express any sadness per se - he's just talking to haley so easily and naturally - you peek over at aaron and see him very quickly swipe away a tear☹️☹️☹️☹️ you stretch your arm out behind jack to give aaron's shoulder a comforting squeeze 🥺) (wait i wanna write a blurb about this) once the candle is extinguished, jack get's his goodnight forehead kisses, and both you and aaron tell him how much you love him, and how much he is loved, and wish him happy birthday just one more time 🥹
and over the weekend!!! jack's two birthday parties 🥳 one with all his friends, at some bounce-house place or something of the sorts. (pls aaron just in complete dad mode😭 wearing a tshirt and dad jeans, standing there with arms crossed 🤨 as he supervises the kids and assists you as needed <3333) AND one with the bau family of course 🥰🥰🥰
197 notes · View notes
auras-moonstone · 2 days
Note
hiii i rlly love ur writing so if u cld write this i’d actually pass out ‼️
u can pick urself if it’ll be jack, Ethan, hockey player Ethan or even smth else! But what im thinking abt is like where he breaks up with reader because hes convinced he lost his feelings towards her but later on realized he didnt?? Hope u have a good day 🙁
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ all you had to do was stay
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ᡣ𐭩 word count: 1.4K
ᡣ𐭩 pairing: hockey player!ethan landry x fem!reader
ᡣ𐭩 summary: convinced his feelings are gone, ethan breaks up with y/n. when he wins the championship, he realizes he made a mistake.
ᡣ𐭩 contents/warnings: heartbreak. angst. make-up. fluff.
Tumblr media
ethan truly thought his feelings for y/n had washed away. but it’s wasn’t until now, looking around the arena for her, having just won the hockey championship, that he realized that maybe he had rushed into conclusions and fucked everything up.
the team went to a bar to celebrate, and while his teammates drank and danced, ethan moped by the bar with a drink in his hand, replaying in his head, like a sad movie scene, the moment he ended things with y/n.
why had he been so stupid? he had set in his mind the idea that hockey should be above everything and anyone else, that it was the only thing that mattered. and not only he had managed to slowly tear the most important bond in his life, but he had also fooled himself into thinking the feelings weren’t there anymore.
“hey, man. i’m going home, tara’s waiting for me. talk to you later?” chad asked.
ethan forced a smile and nodded. “yeah, go. i’m leaving in a few, too.”
chad walked out of the bar, and ethan’s heart reached another level of heaviness. his best friend was going home to celebrate with his girlfriend, he had managed to maintain his relationship while having the exact same responsibilities than ethan. the difference? chad had never failed to find balance and see how important life outside hockey was. ethan hadn’t, and now that hockey was over for a while, he realized he had nothing left.
with an emptiness no amount of drinks could ever fill, he walked back to the dorms, where some people were still on cloud nine from the win. he was congratulated, patted in the back, yet he could not enjoy his win completely. not when the guiltiness and regret lingered heavily over him. was it too late to try get back on track the relationship he had drove off the road?
Tumblr media
the celebration was certainly overwhelming for y/n because everything reminded her of ethan and the way he had locked her out when she was letting him in. hell, she was ready to say the l-word when he pushed her aside. the way he had broken her heart was one she remembered all too well, every word, every expression, every little movement.
ethan hovered over her, standing as she sat on the couch. frown on his face, pained expression, as if the act of letting out the words physically hurt him. “i don’t think i- i’m not sure if i… still have feelings for you. i don’t know, i just, it’s not the same as it was a months ago. it’s as if something is missing.”
“did it cross your mind that maybe the problem is that you put hockey first?”
“y/n that’s my future. of course i’m going to put hockey first.”
“sorry, let me rephrase that. did it cross your mind that maybe the problem is that hockey is all you care about? because it’s always about that. you have stopped having time for me since you became captain. do you even remember the last time you stayed over? that we went on a date? that we spend time together without you worrying over the championship or some other fucking match?”
“y/n…” he sighed.
“well, i can remember. three months, that was the last time you acted like a boyfriend. something was indeed missing in this relationship. you.”
“hockey is everything to me, y/n/n.”
“yes, and that’s the fucking problem, ethan. your whole life can’t revolve sorely on a sport. but you clearly can’t see that, so this is useless.”
that was the last time she spoke to him, but not the last she had seen him. it was impossible not to do that, he was blackmore’s hockey star, he was fucking everywhere. she, on the other hand, managed to hide in the shadows, so she made sure she stayed hidden and not bump into him. until now.
she was leaving tara’s dorm when her eyes caught his wide frame. her feet became one with the floor, not allowing her to move. like magnet, his attention quickly fell on her.
“y/n” her name fell out of his mouth absentmindedly.
at the sound of his rough voice, she snapped out of her daze. her lips parted, but she didn’t know what to say. and then his feet kept going until he was standing right before her. was it too much to ask to disappear?
“hi.” he said after a couple of seconds of silence.
“hi.” her soft voice warmed his heart, and he had to put his hands in his pockets to stop himself from bringing her into his arms. “um… congratulations. on the win.”
“thanks.” for the first time in the night, he truly felt like smiling.
“shouldn’t you be celebrating?” why was she still talking to him? her brain screamed ‘get out of here’ while her heart told her to stay.
“i wasn’t feeling it.” ethan shrugged.
y/n frowned. “you… weren’t feeling it? ethan, what are you talking about? you’ve worked so hard for this win.”
ethan let out a humourless laugh. “the funny thing is… it wasn’t until i lifted the cup that i realize that i wasn’t happy with the win.”
the girl blinked, trying to make sense of what he was saying. ethan landry, the boy who lived for hockey, was saying he wasn’t happy with winning a championship. what was wrong with the world? “i don’t understand.”
“what is succeeding if you don’t have anyone to celebrate it with? that trophy was a reminder of what i pushed away in order to get it. it made me feel miserable.”
“ethan…”
his sad gaze found hers. “what i’m trying to say is that i miss you, and that the win means nothing if you’re not with me. i looked around the stands, you weren’t there and it felt like a punch to the gut.”
she was certainly not ready to hear that. “let me remind you it was what you wanted, you ended it, ethan. you put hockey first, and it got us here.” maybe she was being a bit harsh, especially after he was pouring his heart out.
“i know. fuck. don’t i know it.” he was not going to cry. if y/n somehow managed to find it in her to forgive him, it was not going to be out of pity. but he wanted to sob so badly. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry. i was so fucking blind, and i hurt you.”
hurt was an understatement. ethan had absolutely broke her, and she had been trying to pick up the pieces of the mess he had made.
“i want to punch myself for everything i’ve done. for taking this long to realize i made a huge mistake. i don’t want for my life to revolve around hockey.”
y/n nodded. “that’s a good realization.”
“i don’t know what to say. there’s no justification for what i did, i was stupid and that’s the only truth. i… i want us back.” the anguish was written on his face. “i don’t know what to do to fix it.”
“all you had to do was stay… you had me in the palm of your hand. i would’ve done anything for you.”
“i know, you were too good for me. and i promise you i’ll work everyday to be the person you deserve, if you let me.” he put a strand of hair behind her ear. “i’m never making the same mistake again. i love you. you don’t have to decide now, take as long as you need. i’d wait forever.”
“you know it can’t be like before, right? you can’t keep this relationship in the lowest rank of your priorities.”
“i know, and i won’t. i love hockey, going professional is still my goal but now i know that my dream isn’t only hockey, is having you by my side while i play it.”
y/n slowly broke into a smile. “i would hate to see you succeed without me.” she grimaced as soon as the words clicked. “shit, that sounded so awful. i didn’t mean that i don’t want you to succeed unless you’re with me. that would be so bitchy, and i know you hurt me but i would neve-“
ethan couldn’t help himself, he cut her rambling with a soft kiss. “you’re the absolute cutest. i love it when you ramble.”
“it’s rude to interrupt someone, landry. you need to learn some manners.” she gave him a quick peck. “i guess i’m taking you back, or whatever.”
the hockey player smiled like a little kid and lifted her up on his arms. “i love you. did you know that?”
“i know it now. and i love you, too.” she wrapped her legs around his waist. “now, let’s go celebrate, captain.”
“fuck, yes. i have so many ideas.” the mischievous glint in his deep brown eyes made her stomach swirl.
“i’m down for anything if it’s with you.”
181 notes · View notes
milksnake-tea · 2 days
Note
Hi hi hii!
May I have 2, 4, and 7 with Aventurine for the ask game? Have a nice day!
This man has a strong chokehold on me-
- 🪽
Tumblr media
nah bro i totally get you that damn blonde im telling you .... him and his little >:3 are permanently etched into my brain .... THANKS FOR THE ASK !!! <3
2. What do you think their love language is?
My first thought was initially words of affirmation or acts of service, but now that I'm thinking about it, I think Aventurine would be a sucker for physical touch. The thing is, I personally believe that Aventurine is heavily touched starved, and a huge part of it is self-inflicted. There have been many times where he wanted to hold your hand, or lean onto your shoulder, or just have his hair played with, but he holds himself back because 1.) it's unprofessional and 2.) does he really want to deal with the implications of his actions? Even with friends (or the closest things he has to friends), he wants to be physically close to them, but he doesn't let himself be. The first time you held his hand, he stiffened like a block of wood. When you hugged him, and held him in his arms, he didn't know how to react - but it wasn't long until he closed his eyes and let himself slump against you.
4. What's an unpopular opinion you have?
i cant believe i have to say this BUT HE IS NOT A WHORE !!!!! Can he be clingy? Yes !! Can he be intentionally irritating and annoying? Yes !!! Can he come across as flirty? ABSOLUTELY. But what he isn't is someone who gives himself away at the drop of a hat. Intimacy and companionship, whether platonic or romantic, is something he desires, absolutely. But that doesn't mean he'll give it to just anyone. He has to respect you, he has to like you, he has to know you inside and out to ensure that you won't take advantage of his vulnerability.
I acknowledge that Aventurine often invites people to stab him in the back, but he does it with the prior knowledge that they'd likely do it, so he isn't surprised about it. But when it comes to true companions, not the "friends" he collects like chips, he needs to be able to trust you in all of your entirety. Yes, he has a very low view of himself, but it's not to the degree where he'd willingly use his body in that way to get what he wants.
7. What kind of person do you think Aventurine wants in a relationship?
The real question is whether or not he'll allow himself the liberty of getting into a relationship in the first place. But if I'm going to be honest, I see Aventurine as someone who values honesty and self-reliance, and admires those who are true to themselves and their ideals despite it all (example: Topaz and Dr. Ratio, both of whom he respects and admires as colleagues). So when it comes to being in a relationship, he doesn't want to stress himself out with the mind games; banter, sure, but he doesn't need another person to tip toe around.
Aventurine would want someone who isn't afraid to ask for what they want, or tell him off when he needs to be, yet is genuine, kind and earnest. He also would want someone who could at least take care of themself - as harsh as it sounds, he can't always be there to protect you, and he needs to know that you'll be okay even if he isn't there (also because he finds strength, both intellectual and physical, to be pretty attractive).
It's kind of sad, though. The kind of people Aventurine finds himself attracted to are often the type who end up disliking him.
Tumblr media
2k follower event if you want to participate !!!
280 notes · View notes
Text
taking care of a sick schlatt hcs
since the big guy is sick, but still streaming, here are some of the thoughts i’ve been having about what it would be like to take care of him as a partner (being extra parasocial today)
content warnings: uhhh idek but it gets real smutty toward the end and there’s a full blown oneshot bc i got carried away (afab!reader) (female genitalia mentioned)
-he would be reluctant in accepting your care at first. a. he doesn’t want to get you sick bc then you will just both be miserable and he would rather take care of you b. he would hate to be the reason you start feeling bad c. he’s super protective over you and doesn’t want to see you sick it would make him sad
-however, after some compromising to make sure you don’t get yourself sick with his cold, he lets you begin to baby him
-in the morning, you wake up in the guest room, so the two of you don’t share too much of the same air (as much as it kills you to not be near him)but you go and make him breakfast before he wakes up
-as much as he bitches about not liking the taste of honey, you make him a special warm drink you think he will like containing whiskey, lemon, cinnamon, and just enough honey to help him, but not enough for him to notice. (a hot toddy, also known as the south’s cough syrup) this should help with his sore throat even though his morning voice combined with his sick voice and rasp makes him very hard not to kiss. it’s very sexy.
-once you know he’s awake you bring him his breakfast in bed with a smile on your face and a kiss on the napkin in your red lipstick that he loves so much. the two of you were usually very affectionate and the necessary distance has you losing it a little bit.
-once he’s awake he’s already back to work bc “the grind doesn’t stop baby” he says. but you are popping in every hour to make sure he doesn’t need any medicine, tissues, or water
-throughout his work day you are bringing him mandatory visits from jambo and [redacted] for snuggles that you can’t give him. you say “this cuddle is from me except it’s jambo bc you refuse to give me your sickness”
-you had the great idea of using the throat numbing spray(chloraseptic) you’d bought for other reasons… for it’s actual intended use. grabbing it from the bedside drawer you bring it to his office. “woah toots i appreciate you wanting to make me feel better, but i think that breaks our agreement on not getting you sick” he says. “nice try but i was thinking more about its medicinal use. open up and say ah.” you tell him as you spray it down his throat. “feel any better?” you ask. “no wonder you like this stuff so much! i can’t feel a thing and plus it tastes like cherries!” he says as he pokes at you
this next part is so long it is literally a one shot oops but i had the idea and ran with it! and it fits the theme!
-you tell him if he refers to blowing his nose as “blowing a load” on stream again there will be hell to pay. ofc he doesn’t care and does it anyway and when he’s off stream he finds you in the chair in the corner of his bedroom with a mischievous grin on your face. after a few days of not being able to touch each other, you’ve definitely both got some pent up sexual tension. he hasn’t said a word for some reason but you know that if you are feeling it he has got to be. (men are simple creatures) so you wait in his room in nothing but his favorite little lingerie set of yours. when he’s finally off stream and likely a little drunk,(you had been drinking along with him in the living room while watching stream) he comes in and sees you there. before he can put a hand on you, you stop him. “not so fast big guy. go sit on the bed.” he sits on the bed across the room from you like you asked. “if us not being able to touch each other has got me this worked up, then you must be going crazy. i’m gonna sit right here and do what i need to do… and you can do what we both know you need to do, and we can watch each other. does that sound good to you?”you ask. “jesus christ. i always love your ideas.” he says as you pull your favorite vibrator from beside you and start teasing yourself over your underwear with a grin as you bite your bottom lip “take it off.” you do as he says and remove the matching set as you continue to use the vibrator on your nipples. once you are completely undressed you notice he has quickly lost his shorts and boxers and is now stroking himself slowly. “god i wish this was your hand. promise me you’ll never get sick again?” you plead with a whine. “oh i promise.” he groans and you move the vibrator down to your wet core as begin to unravel. watching him touch himself has got you so worked up that within a few minutes of the toy touching your clit you are already coming undone. you scream out his name as you finish and he quickly reaches his climax as well while you moan on about how bad you need him and how you wish he was inside of you. once the two of you have had enough time to ride out your highs, clean up your messes, and catch a good breath you begin to laugh a little. “we might be a little dramatic. we don’t touch for two days and you’ve got me moaning your name from across the room.” you giggle. “no, not at all. that was exactly what i needed. i can’t have my baby getting sick. and you do such a good job of taking care of me.”
end note: hello!! hope you enjoyed!! def got a little carried away at the end there whoops! but i figure y’all won’t mind😌 most of this is inspired by stuff he’s said on stream today and yesterday and the little interaction i had with him on todays stream (still freaking the fuck out over it btw. if you haven’t seen the clip i posted it on here. not to brag but i made the mf cackle)
90 notes · View notes
larkspurglove · 1 day
Text
OH MY GODDD THE NEW TRAILBLAZE MISSION IT’S SO GOOD BUT ALSO NONE OF MY THOUGHTS ARE COHERENT AAAAA
Major spoilers for 2.1 ahead!!!!
So first off to the people that voted for Aventurine and Sunday in this poll how does it feel to be right?
ANYWAY THAT WHOLE ENDING WAS FUCKING INSANEEEE, Aventurine walking INTO the Nihility????? And he might not ever come back???? Acheron showing off the true extent of her emanator powers?????? Gallagher being the twist villain and also somehow in control of Something Unto Death???? What the fuck?!
My brain is a mess right now I’m just rotating all of the story in my brain and a hundred miles a minute. The next stuff is just going to be me word vomiting my reaction to stuff in a vaguely chronological order.
First off I LOVEEE how Aventurine-focused the Trailblaze mission was. I was kind of assuming it would be a 50/50 split between focusing on Acheron and focusing on Aventurine but it seems like they’re saving Acheron’s backstory for 2.2 or 2.3.
The little appearance of Boothill??? And how he immediately threatens violence?????? Just a silly guy I can’t wait for him in 2.2 I wanna see them fight. Also I wonder if Constance is making empty promises because it’s possible.
Back to Aventurine, DAMNNN I knew his backstory would be tragic but it’s even more gut wrenching than I expected. The reference in his achievements too??? ‘What do you want Sibyl?’ ‘I want to die.’ THE PROGRESSION FROM AVENTURINE STICKING WITH THIS UNTIL THE END WHERE EVEN THOUGH HE COULD POSSIBLY DIE FOR REAL YET HE DECIDES FO CONTINUE FORWARD BECAUSE EVEN IF WE’RE BORN TO DIE THERE’S A POINT IN LIVING LIFE AND PREPARING FOR THAT INEVITABILITY???? OH MY GOD.
Sunday’s also a scary dude. Maybe being an emanator does that to people but when he did that Harmony mindfuckery on Aventurine I was almost certain that he was going to die because of that. I was also SO pissed at Ratio for selling Aventurine out only to learn they were actually double crossing SUNDAY was insane. I’m glad he finally got to be angry about Robin’s death towards the end though, most of the downtime between 2.0 and 2.1 has been me wondering ‘man his sister just died why doesn’t he feel more distressed.’
Ngl I’m probably gonna dedicate a whole post to Aventurine in this update because 90% of the time I was playing the quest I was either thirsting over him, internally sobbing for him, thinking he was gonna die, or waiting to get back to his POV.
Gallagher is one hell of an enigma because Sunday implies that he’s made up of different ‘aspects’ of each Family member who’s died over however long the dreamscape deaths have been happening, yet he has a past with Siobhan and apparently knew Mikhail??? Like what the fuck????? How long has this been going on????
I do wish it was foreshadowed slightly better though because the most we get is him being very vaguely sad about his past and also like two people going ‘who the hell is Gallagher.’
One thing I didn’t expect to happen was for a ‘Sam is Firefly’ reveal. Like I had seen the leaks before (not out of my own will sadly) and kind of expected for it to be a 2.2 reveal. Either way yayyyy Firefly is alive!!!
I’m sad that we didn’t really have an Acheron and Welt team up, or at least that we didn’t see more of it. It was kind of hyped up to be a whole B-plot but turned out to only be a few scenes. I’m not complaining because we get a little teeny bit of Welt characterisation but I’m still sad.
I like how Sparkle kind of just shows up to either be a nuisance or a conveniently timed piece to move the plot forward. It’s very fitting with being a Masked Fool.
There’s a lot more I want to scream about but it’s all Aventurine related and I’m gonna save it for its own dedicated post.
2.1 is so fucking good 2.2 and 2.3 better stick the landing.
124 notes · View notes
Note
Hello! Could you do aot boys being married to a woman with blonde hair and blue eyes and when they have a baby they come out with the same features as her? Tysm! Love your work
eren was positive the baby would come out looking like him. so much, he even put a $5 bet on it. so, you’re five dollars richer but that’s okay, cause he feels rich enough with you two. he also makes a joke about how armin might be the dad but you don’t find it funny.
jean cries when your baby is born, seeing how much they resembles their mother. but they’re all happy tears, of course. the prettiest thing in the world to him made another pretty thing. he’s blessed.
connie’s a little sad that the baby didn’t come out looking anything like him. he always envisioned his baby being a carbon copy of him but nooo, now he has to watch another version of you wreak havoc instead of a lil connie.
armin can’t say he’s surprised about the blonde hair and blue eyes. you guys all kind of look extremely related, lmao. there’s no denying who this baby belongs to.
levi curses you and your weirdly strong genetics but he loves his daughter so, so much. he says that you should be prepared though, because “if she looks like you, does that mean she’s going to act like me?”
zeke claims that the baby looks more like him than it does you. he insists that she gets her looks from her daddy and that’s why she’s such a cutie patootie.
erwin and you fuss over who the baby looks like more. erwin eventually gives in and agrees with you, that the baby is your look-like. but he tells everyone they get their looks from papa.
porco thinks your baby looking like you is both the greatest and funniest thing ever. he thinks they’re beautiful and is so proud of you for birthing his child. what’s funny to him is that, of course you just basically gave birth to yourself. he thinks you’re a witch and did it on purpose (jokingly ofc.)
reiner is a big blubbering mess when the baby comes out looking just like you. he claims it’s the most beautiful thing he’s seen (besides you). you tell him you think it looks like him and it makes him cry harder.
bertholdt loves that baby so much. he tells everyone how much it looks like you. he’s a really sentimental kind of guy about it, taking a billion pictures, saving the baby’s first haircut, etc. one time, the two of you came out wearing matching outfits on easter and he just about cried seeing you and mini-you.
83 notes · View notes
hazerun3 · 2 days
Note
I just saw your post about the difference between passive and swan. I'd like to ask the difference between young swad and dream?
Tumblr media
shittier doodle this time cuz Im getting tired but the ramblings are probably more unhinged
I dont have particularly strong feelings on dream so this is gonna be mostly younger swad and comparisons to dream when needed
-Views social interaction as inherently transactional and as a game that he can learn to play (he doesnt realise that in the village he was never going to be a player on equal ground, this is why after his ascension his persona is more deity ified rather than a king or smth like nm cuz he wants to be Above it all and in control.)
-Been obsessed with swan even as passives (His Duty to help people got drilled into him, the village feels entitled to his help and swad slowly grows tired of them, but his little brother is always kind to him and doing things for him feels so much more rewarding [tho eventually the village tries to stifle any attempts swad does to get something nice for his brother which frustrates swad so much and swan not asking for anything and just being happy to see him and trying so hard just to make swad happy, even as hes hurt fuels this.] so the mix of the sense of duty, him being the older brother so self imposing a sense of responsibility and swan being nice to him leads him to adopt a mentality where Swan is the only one whos special and actually cares about him not just what he can do for him, but with the way hes raised by the village he tries desperately to try and do something for swan in return cuz he still feels like hes failing in his part of the social bargain)
-Also the cult village placed sooooo much value on stuff like never being angry, always being happy :), youre not allowed to be mean, you Must be hardworking all the time, visibly showing that youre sad is Evil. And swad seethes constantly cuz no one in this fucking village follows that and the one person who embodies all these values the most is swan (who everyone still hates for reasons inexplicable to swad, who believes theres still a way to get swan out of his outcast status if the village just realises that swan is the kindest soul in this rotten place.)
-Dream maintains a more "child" status in the village even as hes older than when swad fights to "adult" status, seeing it as a way to get more social power cuz he picked up that Adults have more power than Children but lol not for him, he just gets to have more responsibilites, the expectation to cut off swan and no money OR gifts for his work cuz gifts are for children doing chores not working adults and since its both swads duty and the fact that he doesnt have anything to spend it on that wouldnt be spending it unwisely they just dont pay him at all! and also hes an object not an adult to them so rushing to try and be an adult backfired miserably
-Swad loves listening to swan read stories to him, reallly wants to be the Prince who saves the damsel and sets his enemies on fire and he projects that persona
-Both he and dream were taken hunting I think, but dream didnt take to it (he had a knack for archery but as soon as he was told to turn that arrow on an innocent bunny he couldnt do it, his more "child" status helps him get out of it) swad was also aprehensive at first but since he places a lot of importance in being the Older Brother and being responsible (also he wants to kill people) so he shoots the bunny, he feels bad and cries about it to swan but he cant let go of the feeling, the smell of blood, the idea of that being someone who hurt swan
-in my head he killed people already lol (used the hunting trips as cover but his hit list is soooooo long and he gets less and less opportunity...)
-he loves shiny things so much but being materialistic and greedy is one of the sins, swan cant get him anything but he does press little flower ornaments for his brother and so much flower jewlery so that swad can roleplay being a prince.
-he hates everyone soooooooo much <3
140 notes · View notes
lokigodofmyheart · 20 hours
Text
THROUGH TIME 
Loki x Female Reader.
Summary: The history of Loki and Y/N through the time since they were 8 years old. 
Warnnings: Canon Divergence; Mean Odin; Friends to lovers; really small enemies to lovers; virgin!Loki, virgin!Reader, first kiss, loss of virginity, marriage, planned pregnancy. 
Word count: 9.455
A/N: I really like to write this one. Loki deserves his happy ending. If I forgot any warnning, please let me know. English is not my first language. You can also find this work on AO3.
Tumblr media
Y/N and Loki had been best friends for a couple of years now. They met when her mother, a close friend of Frigga, accepted the invitation to move to Asgard and live with them. Loki and Y/N were 5 at the time ant that was 3 years ago. Now they’re 8 years old. 
Y/N had a nightmare that night and woke up scared, so she decided to go to her best friend’s room, like she usually did when she was scared. She knocked on his door, gently. Loki was laying on his bed, sobbing on his pillow, but when he heard a knock on his door, he sat up and tried to stop crying. Y/N didn’t wait for an answer, she knocked and enter his room and went straight to his bed with him. Loki looks over at her and wipes the last of his tears with the back of his hand “W-what do you want?” 
“What happened?” She asked worried seeing him cry, her nightmare long forgotten. 
“Dad hurt me...” Loki said quietly. 
Her face showed pure shock “...what?” 
Loki nods, looking down “He...he hit me.” 
Y/N hugged the little boy tightly “I’m so sorry, Loki.” He hugged her back, sobbing into her shoulders. “Do you want me to stay with you? Or maybe come to my room?” 
He looks at her, his face wet with the tears “I want to come to your room.” 
She held his hand as they got off his bed and walked to her room, Loki following her and still shaken. They went to her bed as soon as they entered Y/N’s room and Loki curls up next to her. “I’ll protect you.” She says to her friend. 
Loki smiles and closes his eyes, slowly beginning to fall asleep feeling safe with her. Y/N seeing he was peacefully, finally closed her eyes and slept too, with no more nightmares in the night. After that night, they made a habit to sleep together sometimes, but no one really mind since they were only kids. 
4 years later
Loki and Y/N were now 12 and they still sleeping close by with Y/N. They are laying on her bed, when she broke the silence. “How was your day?” Loki mumbles something about Odin being mean to him, again. “You should come train with me and Thor. Maybe that could help you relax." She smiles at him. 
Loki just nods at her. He didn’t like that much of the idea to train with Thor. Everyone thinks so highly of his brother. They talked for a few more minutes before they decided to sleep. Loki tried once to train with her and his brother, but he didn't like. So, he starts to spend more of his time in the library reading. 
3 years later
 They're 15 years old now. Loki had gotten taller than Y/N, which was normal, his voice had changed, and he looked more like a man than a boy. Y/N's body was also changing and they're both filled with hormones. Loki got better with his magic and Y/N got better with the fight skills. They still sleep sometimes together, it was a habit by now. But the hormones were starting to act on them. 
Loki was reading a book but couldn’t stop thinking of Y/N. He had thought of her a lot recently and had even caught himself fantasizing of her a lot. He tried to keep his mind on the book, but it was hard when he had been thinking about her so much. Then a knock came on the door and interrupted his thoughts. 
“Loki?” She called him. 
He put down his book and got up then walked over to the door and opened it, looking at her “Yeah?” 
“Can I come in?” She looked a little sad. 
“Uh, yeah.” he steps aside and opens the door wide enough for her to enter. Y/N follow straight to let her body fall on his bed with a groan. Loki walked and sat next to her with concern on his face “Are you okay?” 
“No.” 
“Why? What’s wrong?” Loki looked at her with genuine curiosity and concern. 
"Sif and your brother keep making fun of me because I never kissed anyone." She rolls her eyes. 
Loki thought about it for a minute before a smirk grew on his face “You haven’t kissed anyone at all?” 
"Oh, come on, not you too." Y/N says frustrated and looks away. 
He chuckles and playfully nudged her shoulder “I’m not making fun of you, I’m just surprised.” 
Y/N sighs, sitting and looking at him “Have you?” 
Loki turned slightly red “Well… no I haven’t kissed anyone…” Y/N smiles sympathetic at him. Loki was still a little red “B-but have you really never kissed anyone?” He still couldn’t believe it. In his mind Y/N had kissed loads of boys because she was so pretty. She just shakes her head at his question. 
He thinks for a second and then speaks “So let me get this right, you have never been kissed and I’ve never been kissed, right?” 
“Yeah...” She nods. 
Loki thinks for another second then looks back over at her “I have an idea…” 
“What is it?” Y/N asks curious at him. 
He takes a deep breath and then leans in towards Y/N “Just close your eyes…” She looks at him for a few seconds and then do as he asks. Loki takes a deep breath and then leans in further, so his lips meet hers. It isn’t a very long kiss and is quite short. When it is over Loki looks at her with a blush on his cheeks “So what do you think…” 
She he opens her eyes and smiles, with a blushing on her cheeks too "That was...uh, nice." 
Loki is still blushing hard and can’t pull his gaze from her “You really think so…?” 
Y/N nods "Can we...do it again?" 
He can’t contain the blush on his face and his body is practically radiate heat. His eyes are still glued to her face “Yeah definitely…” he leans back in for another kiss. She leans in too, kissing him. Loki’s mind was racing with thoughts. He never thought this would happen, especially when the person he’s kissing is Y/N. It was incredible, better than anything he had imagined in his fantasies. He holds her waist, pulling her closer to him as he kissed her. 
Loki moans softly into the kiss as the heat escalate, his body reacting to the heat between them. His hands move up her back, tangling in her hair as he deepens the kiss. He can feel himself growing hard against his pants and he breaks the kiss, gasping for air “We should stop.” 
Y/N could feel herself getting wet with just kissing Loki, but she agreed “Yeah, we should.” 
He nods, running his hand through his hair. He can feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins. This was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. He knows they need to stop before things go too far “Do you want to sleep here tonight...?” 
“Sure.” She smiles while she tries to recover from that hot kiss. 
Loki smiles back, laying down in the bed and patting the space next to him for her to lay down next to him. She does it and he pulls her close to him and hugs her tightly as he closes his eyes. 
“Loki?” She called him in a whisper. 
He opens his eyes and then looks at her “Yeah?” 
"We're not gonna tell about this to anyone, right?" 
Loki nods “Yeah definitely. I mean, there’s no reason for anyone to know about it. And I doubt you’d want just anyone to know about this.” 
"Yeah. Just two friends helping each other." She says smiling. Loki nods again and looks back down, closing his eyes. Y/N does the same and they soon fell asleep. 
3 years later
Loki and Y/N were now 18. Loki’s body had changed a lot since he was younger. He was more muscular than he was back then, and his face had matured to the point where he didn’t look like a little boy, but a man. Y/N also changed in those years. She looked like a grown woman now and it she was becoming one of the best fighters on the realm. 
Loki was laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling, thinking about things that were not that important. He heard a knock at his door, and he sighed, getting up to answer it. He looked at Y/N standing there for a few seconds, her beauty striking him a little bit.  “Hey, you’re just back from training?” 
"Yeah. I beat Sif's ass all the time today." She laughs getting in his room, dropping her sword closer to his door. 
He grins “Damn, that’s pretty impressive. I’m surprised she didn’t tell you off or complain about you being better than her.” 
"How said she didn't?" Y/N laughs. 
“And I assume you gave her a good comeback, like saying how you’re better than her?” Loki laughed too. 
“Something like that.” She says still laughing. “Can I use your shower? Mine’s not working.” 
Loki tilts his head in curiosity but then nods “Sure, go ahead. There’s soap right next to the shower and a towel is on the floor next to it too.” 
"Thanks." She smiles and enters his bathroom. After a few minutes, Loki heard the shower being turned off. But then Y/N appears on the door with only a towel "Can I borrow one of your shirts? I forgot to bring my clothes." 
Loki looks at her, his eyes trailing down her body. He could see the outline of her breasts through the towel and feel a familiar stirring in his pants. He nods, standing up and grabbing a shirt from his dresser “Here you go.” 
"Thanks." She smiles "Maybe one of your boxers too?"  
Loki blinks caught off guard by her request. His heart races and his breathing hitches. He hesitates for a moment but then nods slowly, grabbing a pair of boxers from his drawer. He hands them to her with clumsy fingers. “Here.” 
"Thanks." She smiles and goes to the bathroom to get changed. She exits the clean clothes she’s borrow. Loki stares at her as she walks back into the room. He can't help but notice how sexy she looks in just his shirt and boxers. His mind races with thoughts of all the things he could do to her, all the ways he could touch her. Y/N lays by his side on the bed. 
Loki glances at her with a smirk “You look cute in my shirt.” 
She chuckles "Thanks." 
He can feel her body pressing against him, and he can't help but respond. His hand finds its way to her thigh, slowly moving upward. “What are you thinking about?” 
His touch sent shivers down her body "Sif and I were talking today about...some things." 
Loki nods and then leans closer to her “What sort of things…?” 
“Personal things...” 
He thinks for a moment and then speaks softly “can you tell me…?” 
Y/N chuckles and nods "She was telling me about her first time." 
Loki’s interest is piqued, and he raises his eyebrow “and…?” 
"I don’t know, I was just...wondering about things.” Y/N looks at him, a small blush on her face “Have you...did you already...Have you ever had sex?"” 
Loki turns red and he blushes “uhm well no….” 
“Really? But you’re a prince.” She smiles. 
He shrugs and blushes even harder “well, have you…?” 
“...no.” She blushes. 
Loki turns to her and looks her in the eye “So you haven’t…ever?” 
"No. Why?" She looks at him. 
“I just thought…well, you must have had boyfriends, right...?” Loki asked. 
Y/N chuckles "I spent my free time with you, so no. I don't." 
Loki blushes more and moves a bit closer to her “So…we’re both virgins…?’ 
“Yeah.” Y/N let out a nervous chuckle. 
Loki smiles at her and his body heats up. He leans in closer to her, almost whispering “So…want to change that...?” 
“...what?” She whispers back to him. 
His breath hitches and he speak softly “Do…you wanna….y’know do it together?” Y/N thinks for a few seconds before she nods at him. He was her first kiss and she trusted him to be her first time too. Loki smiles gently, biting his lip ever so slightly “You sure this is what you want?” 
“I am. Are you?”  
Loki nods, his heart pounding in his chest “Yes, I am.” he leans in slowly, pressing his lips against hers. She kisses him back, remembering a when they kissed for the first time years ago. 
Feeling her lips against his, Loki groans softly into the kiss. He wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her closer as their tongues slowly explore each other’s mouths. Their kiss deepens as their desire grows stronger. 
Loki’s hands wander over her body, exploring the curves that have developed over the years. Y/N’s hand also explored his body and his muscular chest through the clothes he was wearing. That made Loki let out a groan when her hands travelled his body. He breaks the kiss to press his lips against her neck, trailing soft kisses down her collarbone, making Y/N moan and her hands going down to palm him through the pants. Loki gasped at the feeling. He’s never been touched like this before by someone else and it’s driving him wild.  
He slides his hand on her body to take off the shirt she was wearing, exposing her breasts to him. Loki’s mouth goes down, capturing one of her nipples in his mouth, rolling it between his teeth softly. Y/N’s hands worked quickly to take off his shirt too, while his hands worked to slide down her body the boxer she was wearing.  
Y/N’s hand found his cock when she opens his pants, making Loki gasp and his hips buck into her touch. He groans loudly as he feels her fingers wrapped around his throbbing length “Oh gods, Y/N... this feel so good...” She kept stroking him while he struggles to maintain control when her hands worked on him. 
She suddenly stops, smiling at him “Can you take these off? I want to try something.” 
Loki grins and quickly pull the remaining clothes off, his erection visible now making her eyes widen, thinking if he would really fit her. “What do you have in mind?” 
“Lay down.” She says. 
With a nod, Loki obey her. She starts stocking him slowly again, making him moan loudly and squirm beneath her as she kept her slow pace. “Oh, fuck...” 
“Can you guide me?” She asks with a smirk on her lips. 
Loki just nods his head when she decided to put him on her mouth. His hips jerk up off the bed ad he feels Y/N’s warm mouth on his cock, making him let out a long and low moan. Loki’s hand run though her hair, guiding her as she takes more of him. Loki’s eyes roll back into his head, unable to believe how good this feels.  
Y/N looks at him confused when he suddenly pulls her off “Did I do something wrong?” 
He shakes his head quickly and pulls her to kiss her deeply, his tongue exploring her mouth and tasting himself “No, you were perfect. I just want to finish with you.” 
“Oh, okay.” She smiles. 
Loki lay her down underneath him, smiling at her as his hands moved to her folds. Y/N let out a moan just with the feelings of his hands coming close. She was never touched like that by anyone. Loki slide one finger inside her, slowly stroking her wetness and rubbing her clit with his thumb. That made her let out a louder moan. 
Feeling her inner walls clench around his finger, Loki chuckles softly. He kisses her neck and moves to her ear, nibbling gently “So wet for me...” 
“Loki...” She moans his name. 
Loki groans in response, pushing a second finger inside her slowly. He starts thrusting them in and out gently, stretching her as he leans down to capture one of her nipples in his mouth again. Feeling her body respond to his touch, Loki puck up the pace slightly, increasing both the depth and the speed of his thrust. 
“Loki, I think I’m close.” 
He quickens his pace even more “Come for me.” Seconds later she was hit by her climax, and his fingers keep stroking her, feeling her muscles relax and loosen after her orgasm. “I don’t want this to hurt you, Y/N/N. Are you ready?” 
Y/N just nods at him. Slowly, Loki lines himself up with her entrance, taking a deep breath before he starts pushing forward slowly, feeling the tightness of her entrance as he slips inside. Her face showed pain when he enters her and a few tears scape her eyes. Loki freezes seeing her tears and stops, kissing her tears away. He then keeps sliding inside her, slower than the first time and stops, kissing gently her forehead. 
“You can move.” She says after a few more seconds. 
Once he’s sure that she wasn’t in pain anymore, Loki begins to move, his thrusts slow and gentle as his hands find their way to hers where they lace their fingers together. Y/N let out a small moan, her pain turning into pleasure.  
Loki speed up his thrusts slightly as he hears her moans, watching her face for any sigh that he was going too fast or too hard. When she smiles softly at him, he returns her smile, a warm feeling spreading through his chest. After years of waiting, he finally lost his virginity with her, his best friend. 
“Loki, I’m...” 
“I know.” Was all he said before kissing her. Loki was close too. Her walls clenched around his cock as she moans his name again. Feeling her climax, Loki couldn’t help but release his seed deep inside her. He groans into the kiss, feeling a wave of pleasure wash over him. Panting heavily, Loki slowly pulls out of her, and he collapsed onto the bed besides her. A small smile crept onto his lips as he thought of what just happened between them “That…felt incredible…” 
Y/N nods, still trying to catch her breath “You’re sure you never done that before?” 
Loki chuckles as he wraps an arm around her and pulling her to him “I’m sure, that was honestly all new to me.” 
“Well, you were really good.” she chuckles, laying her head on his chest. 
He blushes as he rubs his hand up and down her back, a small smile on his face “Thank you…you know…I gotta say that was one of the best things I've ever done in my life…” 
“We should do it more times.” Y/N suggested. 
Loki nods “I agree, I wouldn’t mind doing this over and over again with you…” 
She smiles at him “Yeah. We’re friends, we can be a bit more intimate...” 
He smiles and rubs her back a bit “I guess that’s how we can describe it and that’s how it should stay, right? Just friends…” 
“Yeah.” She agrees. 
----- 
Y/N and Loki manage to keep that way for about 8 months. But being intimate brough them closer than they already were, making people inside the palace starts gossiping about them, how they were cute together, that they were probably together but just hiding for the public, that they’re in love. Even Thor and his friends engage with that gossip. 
Loki would notice the whispers. Some people in the castle would start joking around with him about him being ‘in love’ with her. He would jokingly brush it off with a laugh and would deny it. But he was starting to actually have feelings for her. But he could not act on them due to the fact that he remembered what she said to him about them just being friends. So, he remained silent about the situation, still only acting as just friends with her. 
Y/N knocked on Loki’s door earlier than normal. Loki was just sitting on his bed reading a book and he was quite shocked at her early arrival. He quickly put his book aside and went to the door “Hey, what’re you doing here?” 
Loki could see she was angry “Your dear brother just kicked me out of our training today.” 
He was take by surprise by her answer and he got slightly confused “W-what...? Thor kicked you out…?” 
“Yes!” she sits on his bed letting out a frustrated sigh. 
Loki was shocked and he wasn't expecting her to be this angry. He sits down next to her and thinks about this for a moment before finally asking “Why did he kick you out?” 
“Just because I was mad that they kept saying those gossips about us.” 
“Well…you shouldn’t be paying mind and listening to what people are saying, okay?” Loki says to her, trying to easy her anger. 
Y/N sighs “I know, but it’s all the damn time...” 
Loki nods, taking her hand gently “Don’t let them get to you…alright...?” 
She looks for a moment to their hands together, a small smile appearing on her face “I’ll try.” 
Loki smiled back at her and then speaks softly “Listen…about those people that gossip about us….do you think they’re right?” 
Y/N chuckles, looking at him “We both know that we’re not together.” 
He just nods, looking down before he says quietly “Right, we’re not… just friends right…?” 
Y/N noticed the way he was acting. In fact, she noticed the last time they were together too, but she said to herself she was imagining things. “You’re not happy with this, are you?” 
Loki sighs, avoiding eye contact with her “No…honestly…no I’m not happy with this…” 
She nods at him, feeling tense and fearing his next answer “Do you want to stop?” 
He looks back up at her “No…I meant…I’m unhappy with the fact that we’re just friends.” 
Y/N let out the breath she was holding, relaxing with his answer and smiling “Oh, thank the gods!” 
Loki was surprised by her reaction. He had expected her to pull away as soon as he had said his last few words “But…you…you’re not upset…?” 
“No.” She chuckles “I was thinking about that the last two times we had sex…” 
His body tenses up and he blinks in surprise, his heart pounding as he realizes what she’s said “H-hold on a sec…w-we’re you actually wanting to take this further…?" 
“Yeah, I just didn’t know how to bring this up…” 
Loki was speechless as he realized how stupid he was for not acting on those feelings earlier “But does that mean you would want to start a…. relationship with me…?" 
“If you want to.” Y/N smiles widen. 
He smiles and grabs her hand “You have no idea how happy you’ve made me right now. I’ve wanted this for so long…” She smiles at him. Loki’s heartbeat quickens as he feels her hand brush against his. He was finally with the woman he had always wanted to be with for so long. 
Years later
 Y/N and Loki were still dating. They were the favorite royal couple.  
Thor instead in them going with him to fight the frost giants. Loki had become a master of magic in thoses years and Y/N was one of the best warriors of Asgard. When Thor asked them to go with him to fight the frost giants, Loki agreed without any hesitation or question. 
As they were preparing to leave Loki walked up to Y/N. He looked at her and smirked a soft smile “Hey.’ 
“Hi.” She smiles at him. He could notice she was tense. 
"Are you ready for this?” He asked walking closer to her. 
“Yeah.” 
Loki grabs her hands and gives it a tight squeeze “Don't worry, I won't let anything hurt you.” He smiles at her and pats her forearm reassuringly. 
That made her chuckle, she probably was a better fighter than he was "I'm not worried about that." 
He looks at her curiously, raising his eyebrow “Then what are you worried about?” 
"Odin said for Thor to let it pass, and yet Thor insisted. I just have a bad feeling about this..." She says at her boyfriend. 
Loki thinks about what she's said, he also was feeling a bit uneasy as well, but he wasn't going to admit that yet “Hmm... well, I think we'll be fine. I mean we're fighting frost giants, not the entire realm.” he then smirked and spoke sarcastically “Besides, are you scared?” 
Y/N rolled her eyes at him “Me? Never!” 
Y/N and Loki joined everyone else. In the middle of the fight, she saw one of them grabbing Loki's arm. When she run to him, he looks like he just saw a ghost. She grabbed his arm expecting to see a wound, but it had...nothing. He was fine. 
Loki’s eyes were widened, and he looked at her in shock as he slowly pulls his arm away from her. He was scared and his mind was going a mile a second as he was trying to figure out what exactly had happened. 
“You’re...not hurt.” She says looking at his arm confused. 
He blinks and looks at her, his gaze was now a bit more confused, and she could see that he was still shaken up. “I…no…I’m not….” 
They didn't have much time after that to talk. Everything happened so fast, Odin came and took them all back, banished Thor to Midgard. Y/N quickly took Loki back to her room, before Odin decided to do something with him too. 
Loki was obviously shaken up by everything that had happened. He was quiet and kept to himself whilst Y/N took him to her room and his mind was just running a mile a minute. Once they were inside her room, he spoke for the first time since everything had happened "I need to go...to see something." 
Y/N nods “Okay, I’ll go with you.” 
"No... I'll go alone. It's something I have to do on my own...I’ll be right back." Loki doesn't explain any further as he walks out of her room, leaving a confused Y/N. 
It had been already an hour after that. Loki sat silently in his room, staring at a blank wall as he tried to take all of it in. This had to be a mistake...this couldn't be right...how the hell was he a frost giant? There were so many damn questions racing through his mind right now. 
There was a knock on his door. He looked up and he opened the door, he was still processing everything, and he had almost forgotten about Y/N. “Yeah?” 
"I've been looking for you like crazy." She says entering his room. 
Loki raised an eyebrow “Looking for me? I think you’re being a little dramatic” he says casually, although his voice cracked slightly from the stress of everything that was going through his mind. 
"Me? Dramatic? You're the one who left me alone and was being mysterious and all." Y/N says. 
He was angry and confused at everything that happened with him “What the hell is your goddamn problem? It isn’t like I left you for days or something, why are you so worried?” 
“Because I care about you.” 
Loki scoffs and glares down at her, he was feeling more and more pissed off “Did you not understand me the first damn time? I just needed some time to myself, is that so goddamn hard for you to understand?” 
"Your brother have just been banished and you left gods knows where. Are you really complaining about me being worried about you?" She was not believing the way he was acting. 
He rolls his eyes and sighs, closing it for a few seconds before opening them again. “Do you think that right now I want your goddamn sympathy? No! I want to be left alone! Alone with my thoughts. Don’t you get it?” 
Y/N took a step back “Is that what you really want? To be alone?” 
“Yes! That’s what I want! Can you not take the damn hint?!” Loki yells at her, taking a step forward and clenching his fists as he did. 
“Do I annoy you that much?” She asks almost in a whisper. 
Loki glares at her “Yes! You do! You annoy the hell out of me!” He yells, he had never said something like that to her before and it really caught her off guard. 
Y/N keeps looking at him "Okay...I won't 'annoy' you anymore...or ever again" She took out the bracelet Loki had gifted her when they started dating and put on his desk, before she turns and left him alone "I'm ending this." 
That hit Loki like cold water. He was shocked when Y/N placed the bracelet that he had gifted her on the desk. But when she said that she was ‘ending this’ and then started to walk out, he quickly ran after her “Wait! Wait!” he yelled, trying desperately to get her attention. But she didn’t stop, she kept walking away, with tears on her face now. 
Loki runs up to her and grabs her wrist gently and stops her from going “Wait! Please wait! Just hear me out! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I…” Y/N just shakes her head, crying. Loki feels guilty, he didn’t really mean what he said. He was just overwhelmed and stressed out from everything. he was still trying to control his emotions “I didn’t mean it…I swear…” Loki sighs heavily as he wipes away her tears “I’m just confused right now. I’m sorry about what I said. Please don’t end this over what I said, I was just emotional. I didn’t mean any of it. Please don’t end this…” 
“Why did you say it?” She asks him in a whisper, tears still running down her face. 
Loki sighs once again and doesn’t speak for a few seconds “I don’t know why I did…I was stressed out and confused. I had no idea what to do, and my emotions just exploded. So…I’m sorry…I really am…”  
Y/N tries to wipe the tears, but more came "I need you to be honest with me." 
Loki nods, still glancing away from her to the side. He then spoke quietly, as to avoid choking up or his voice faltering, he was still trying desperately not to cry “I will…” 
“Do you love me?” 
He sighs and looks back up at her “Yes…I love you so much. And I’m an idiot for just saying all those things to you without properly assessing my own emotions…” 
"What happened?" She asks softly. 
Loki pauses for a few seconds before speaking. “Well…to make a long story short, i found out about my true heritage...I’m not an Asgardian…” He could see the confusion on her face “I’m a…frost giant.”  
Y/N’s eyes widen in shock for a second before she looks down at her feet. A few seconds passed, in a silence that was making Loki more anxious than ever. “I don’t care.” She finally says. 
He was a bit surprised that Y/N didn’t take the news horribly. He was waiting for her to call him a monster, say she never want to see him again...but she was actually alright with him being a frost giant. “You’re just…fine with this? Most people would be terrified of me now.” 
"Well, I'm not most people, Loki. I'm the person who stays with the little boy who cried when his father was mean. I'm the person who was always by your side. I’m the person who loves you.” 
Loki was stunned, hearing her say that made his heart melt and some tears fall off his eyes. He never knew he was going to find someone like her. “Thank you...thank you for being here for me..." Loki couldn't help himself, he pulled her close and kissed her. Y/N smiles into the kiss, not expecting it at all. She wraps her arms around him, embracing the kiss. She felt comfortable in his arms once again and she felt happy.  
"Don't you ever say anything like that to me again. Or I swear I will break things up for good."  
Loki couldn’t help but smile when she said that. She wasn’t leaving him after all, and she still loved him. So, he nodded and spoke softly “I won’t. I promise…” Y/N had tried her best to keep Loki sane after all of these events, but he was too angry. After the events that succeed, Y/N had cried a lot when Thor told her he had die in the Bifrost.  
But then, imagine her surprise when Thor came telling her that Loki was on Midgard, trying to dominate the planet with an army. Y/N was in shock when she heard that. She wasn’t quite sure how to feel. On one hand, she was happy to hear that he was still alive but on the other, she wasn’t excited about him being on Midgard. The thought of him trying to take over the planet worried her. 
Thor took her there with him, thinking that maybe she could get him to stop if the moment came. She hadn't seen him until the final fight in the Stark tower, when she walked to him with her armor and her sword in hand, like Thor had requested her. Loki had his back to her "Loki?" 
Loki heard his name being called but he continued to gaze out at the destruction behind him that he had left in his path. He didn’t turn to face her, and his voice had a hint of a cold indifference in it “…what do you want?” 
She looks at the image in front of him "That's not you." 
He continued to stare out into the destruction and chaos he had left. He knew she was right. He wasn’t himself, he was a completely different version now. One that was angry, manipulative, cunning and cold “I’m fine. I don’t see what the big deal is…” 
Y/N walked closer to him, putting her sword on the ground and using that hand to hold his shoulder “Loki...” His cold gaze finally turned to face her, though his expression remained the same, unchanging and uncaring. When she put her hand on his shoulder, he immediately flinched a little bit because of the sudden touch. “That’s not you.” She said again. 
Loki didn’t say anything for a few seconds. He was silent, his face gave away little to no emotion “I’m no longer the person I was before…I’ve changed…and I’ve learned much…and I’ve become so much more…” 
She reached for his face slowly, and Loki was caught a bit off guard when she put her hand on his face, but he didn’t flinch or move his face away from her. He noticed that she was still wearing the bracelet he gifted her as well.  
"Give up this madness dream. Come home with me." She says softly, her hand caressing his face. 
Loki was silent for a few seconds as he stared at her. Then he finally spoke, his voice now had a slight hint of anger in it “I *will* have my revenge. Nothing...no one will stop me…” 
"Please, Loki. I know the man I love is still in there." She says with tears on her eyes. She didn’t know if she would be able to fight him if it was necessary. 
His anger immediately disappeared when she started to cry. Seeing her tears only reminded him of all of the times she had stood by him, through thick and thin. She was always there for him, he couldn’t just abandon her again. So, he pulled her close and hugged her tightly, still not saying anything and just simply holding her close. 
Y/N return his hug "I know something must happen to you...but please, stop it." 
Loki continues to hug her and just holds her close for a few seconds. He didn’t want her to know his traumatic past, at least not yet. So instead, he spoke softly “You’re right…something did happen…I can’t tell you…” 
"It's okay. Just stop this attack and come home...I'll protect you."  
Loki was now on the verge of crying when she said that. But she had told him she would protect him, and he was so desperate for that right now. He didn’t want to be alone anymore. So, he spoke softly “Please…I need you.” 
He stopped the attack and end up fighting alongside the Avengers. Thor, Loki and Y/N went back home. Y/N and Thor talked with Odin and convinced him that Loki help them in the end, so he wouldn’t send him to a cell. 
Loki was now back at Asgard, where everything slowly became normal once again. However, he was still slightly traumatized by what had happened and was still suffering from the PTSD that he had acquired after the torture. The two of them were still together and he felt relieved that he didn’t lose her. Loki struggled a lot with his nightmares, which were getting worse every night. Whenever they hit, he would wake up in a cold sweat, his heart beating out his chest and he would usually be crying. Y/N would be next to him every time, holding him gently and speaking softly, trying to comfort him when he woke up. He felt very weak and helpless during these moments, and he was glad he had her with him. 
That night Loki also woke up with his nightmares, running to the bathroom to throw up. Loki was already on his knees, hugging the toilet and throwing up, his tears streaming down his face. Any second now he would begin hyperventilating, as was typical for how these nightmares would usually go for him. Y/N woke up and walked to the bathroom, holding his hair back. He immediately calmed down a bit and took a deep breath. Hearing her voice and feeling her touch made things more bearable. 
Loki was still shaking a bit when he finally finished throwing up, so Y/N hugged him tightly as they sit on the bathroom’s floor. His body was shaking almost uncontrollably, and he was trying not to hyperventilate. His breath was shaky, and his chest was rising and falling rapidly as he tried to control himself. But when she hugged him, he stopped for a few seconds and then he hugged her back, burying his head into her shoulder and holding her tight. 
"You know you'll have to talk about this some time, Loki..." She says softly. 
Loki sniffled and held her a bit tighter for a few seconds before he finally spoke softly. His voice sounded choked up and shaky and he was still trying to stop himself from crying. “I know...I just...not yet.” 
“I hate to see you like that.” Y/N says while she brushes his hair away from his face. 
He nodded his head, still holding her tightly “I know…I know that I need to talk about it…it’s just…I don’t know if I can….I just…” it was clear that he didn’t know how to speak about it. He simply couldn’t bear to relive what had happened to him. 
"Do you want me to...see it?"  
Loki flinches, the prospect of her seeing his memories was terrifying for him. He didn’t want anyone to see what he had gone through, least of all someone who he loved so deeply. So, he shook his head. 
"Loki, you need to let it out. He can't hurt you anymore." 
He takes a few seconds before speaking again. He was still on the verge of tears, and he was shaking quite a bit. He understood the importance of talking about it, but he could barely even bring himself to speak about it “I know…I know that it will help…but I’m just…I’m just scared…so scared…” 
"I'm here with you." She says "I'll always be here with you." 
Loki sniffled and he hugged her back tightly. Hearing her say that she would always be there for him gave him a bit of strength, and he tightened his grip on her as if to show his appreciation and gratitude. He slowly let out a breath and his tears began to subside. “I know…I know you will be…” 
She starts brushing his hair, close to his forehead "Can I?" 
Loki was a bit hesitant at first, he wasn’t sure about her entering his mind and reliving the trauma with him. He hated the idea of possibly putting her through that…but he felt so weak and so helpless, and she offered. So, he eventually nodded.  
So she did it. She could see the memories when he let her enter. She was gently around his mind when she starts seeing the fight with Thor at the Bifrost, when he let it go. She saw all the torture he endured from the mad titan and everything that happened with him. She could feel his pain and she could understand why he was so reluctant to talk about it. It was a horrible realization but now she knew the extent of the abuse he endured while under the mercy of Thanos. 
When she came back, she was crying. Loki noticed that she was crying, and he looked up at her with a concerned expression. “A-are you okay...?” 
Y/N shook her head. "No, Loki. I'm sorry you have been through all of that." She hugs him so tightly. 
Loki was still silent for a few seconds as he simply hugged her tightly and buried his head in her shoulder again. He didn’t know quite what to say, he just wanted to forget about what had happened. Especially now when having to think back on it all. When she hugged him back, he started to squeeze her even tighter, as if seeking comfort and trying to remind himself that the pain was now gone. He didn’t want to relive it ever again. 
"You'll never go through that ever again. I'll protect you, I swear." 
Loki wanted to believe her so much. Having her to protect him was a great comfort for him and a great relief. He was so vulnerable right now, scared to ever face anything like that again. Hearing that he would never go through that again was extremely reassuring to him. He kept hugging her and didn’t want to let go. “You promise?” 
“I promise.”  
Loki was getting better after a couple of months. He still had some nightmares, but not as often as before. Thanks to Y/N being by his side, he had started to sleep a little more soundly than before. His nightmares had gone from multiple times a week to only once a week, which was an achievement in his eyes. He didn’t feel as scared to sleep anymore and he was thankful for that. Especially because he knew his girlfriend was right by his side, ready to help him out whenever he needed it. 
After six months, Loki was finally getting better. His nightmares were now happening rarely instead of occasionally. He still had them from time to time, but they were now much more manageable. He still had a lot of healing to do, but this was definitely progress. 
With each day that passed and each night that went by, Loki just continued to think about how much he loved his girlfriend. She was always by his side, and she always managed to comfort him whenever he needed it. She supported him through everything, and she understood him like no one else did. It was only natural that he started to think about marriage. He didn’t necessarily know if she thought the same, but the thought hadn’t left him for a while now. 
"What you're thinking about?" Y/N asks as she notices he was not paying attention to the book on his hands. 
Loki was still lost in thought, thinking about the prospect of marriage. He hadn’t realized that he had stopped paying attention to the book he had in his hands, as he had simply been staring blankly at it. But then she asked him a question and snapped him out of his thoughts. “Nothing…just…nothing…” 
Y/N chuckles “It doesn’t look like nothing.” 
He also chuckled a bit and then said “Okay, maybe it was something….” 
"Are you gonna tell me?" She sits closer to him. 
Loki was silent for a few seconds and then he finally spoke softly “I was just…thinking about something…about us…?” 
"Should I worry about this?" Y/N says with a playful smile. 
“Not necessarily…I was just thinking about…what if we took our relationship to the next level…you know…” 
“Like how?”  
“…like…getting married?” Loki spoke carefully and anxiously as he said this, he was wondering what her reaction would be. 
Y/N smiles softly at him* "Are you serious?" 
Loki nodded and spoke softly “Yes….I’ve been thinking about it for a while now….and I wanted to know what you think….” 
“I wouldn’t be opposite of the idea.” Loki’s heart started to beat rapidly as she said that. “Can you imagine us, married and with a mini you running around?" Loki blushed and smiled, imagining the scenario was a bit adorable.  
He could just imagine the two of them with their child, living happily ever after. Loki liked that idea…very much. It felt so innocent and so pure, something that he had wanted for so long. And there was no way he would ever let go of it, not ever. “That would be so perfect…our own little family…” 
Y/N smiled at the thought “Yeah...” 
Loki smiled back at her, and he wanted to say something else. But he still felt a bit anxious, he still felt like it wasn’t set in stone just yet “So…you’re really saying yes…? Like…definitely, yes…?” 
"I don't know...make the proposal." She chuckles. Loki smirked at her response and then thought to himself. He was definitely going to propose to her soon, that was for sure.  So he started to hatch out a plan for the perfect proposal he would want. Once he had that all figured out, the only thing that would be left was to execute it. 
Days had passed and Loki had been waiting for the right moment. And after a week of waiting, he got that perfect moment. He found her alone in her room and he knew that now was his chance to do it. 
“Hey.” Y/N smiled as he entered her room. 
“Hey…” Loki smiles back at her. He feels the rush of adrenaline as he finally has his chance. This is the moment he’s been waiting for. So, he speaks confidently as he approaches her “I want to ask you something….” 
“Sure.” 
Loki takes a deep breath and steadies his voice, trying to sound as confident and sure as he could when speaking. “You know how a few weeks ago I brought up marriage…?” She nods at him. Loki nods too and gets on one knee, making Y/N smiles. There was a hint of nervousness in his voice, but he managed to keep it steady, and he spoke confidently. “I want to make you mine…completely…and I would like for you to do the same…will you marry me..?” 
“Yes, Loki. Yes!” She hugs him. 
He breathed a sigh of relief as she said yes. He was so excited and happy right now, he was over the moon. He smiled back at her and then he spoke softly. “Then…will you please take this, as a sign of my love?” Loki holds up the ring, waiting for her to accept it. 
Y/N gave him her hand so he could put the ring on her. “It’s beautiful.” 
Loki was absolutely overjoyed. It was one of the most perfect moments of his entire life. All his work in planning the proposal payed off. And seeing her accept the ring, his mother's ring, was the cherry on top. Loki was just so relieved and so happy, he was beaming with joy. "It used to be my mother's...I wanted you to have it..." 
“Thank you.” She smiles before she kisses him. 
He smiled back at her when he breaks the kiss, the entire moment was like a dream come true. He was so overjoyed that he almost couldn't keep his cool. This was the perfect moment. So he took her hand again and squeezed it softly. "I love you..." 
“I love you too.” 
A few months after, the royal wedding happened in Asgard. It was a beautiful wedding. A true fairy tale wedding. Loki and Y/N had finally married. The prince of Asgard had found true love and married his princess. Loki was happier than ever, with the woman he loved the most besides him. This was his happy ending, this was his happily ever after. 
Five months after the wedding, Y/N started not feeling well. She usually woke up throwing up. 
Loki was still asleep beside her when he suddenly woke up to the sound of her vomiting. He immediately jumped out of bed and went over to her. “A-Y/N…? 
“Hm?” She had her eyes closed as another wave of nausea hit her. 
Loki was now in distress and panic. He was getting worried as he tried to keep his cool and not let her know his real feelings yet. “A-are you okay..? You’ve been vomiting for a few days now….” He was so concerned about her at this point. 
"I don't know, maybe it's something I eat?" She felt the nausea passing and open her eyes to look at him. 
Loki still looked worried and concerned, he wasn’t quite buying her excuse. It didn’t make sense to him “But it’s been four days in a row…don’t you think that’s concerning a little?”  
"I'll see a healer later if that's makes you feel better." She smiles at him. 
He wasn’t reassured, he was still concerned about her. But he decided to not press the issue further for now “Okay…just promise me you’ll see one as soon as possible…” 
Y/N nods and later that day, she went to the healer. When she got back to their room, she had a small box in her hand. 
“What’s in that box…?” Loki was waiting for her back in the room. 
"Oh, it's a present for you." She smiles handling him the box. "Open in.” 
Loki’s nervous look remained on his face as he slowly took the box from her, not knowing what may be in there. But he then opened it and his eyes widened when he saw what was inside. His heart raced as he saw that it was a small pair of shoes. “What….are these…?” 
"I don't know, Loki. What are these?" She asks him smiling. 
“They look like…baby shoes…” Loki’s heart races as he realizes what she is implying. He didn’t even want to believe it. But then he spoke, and his tone was shaky. “Are you…”  
Loki was speechless. It was official now; he was going to be a father. He was so happy, he felt so many different emotions rushing through him right now, but the main one was pure joy. “I’m going to be a dad…?” 
"You're going to be a dad." Y/N spoke softly before she kissed her husband. 
Nine months later, Y/N gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Loki was overjoyed about it. Holding the baby boy in his arms felt like a dream come true. His life would never be the same after this, everything would be different. And it was for the better. This child would be the most important thing to him, there would be nothing that would compare to this precious baby. He kissed him on the forehead, smiling as he did so.  
Loki was the best father ever to his son. He was everything Odin never was to him. Loki made sure the child had everything he could ever want or need. He made sure his childhood would be beautiful and happy and he made sure he gave him everything he never had. He made sure to give him all the love he had to offer to his precious son. He spent a great majority of his time with him. And Y/N made sure she took good care of him as well. She made sure to teach him about love and everything he needed to know about the world. It was a beautiful sight. 
A year later, close to their son first birthday, Y/N had found out she was pregnant again. But this time, she was better prepared to make a surprise to Loki. 
He had just put the baby to sleep and came back to their room. “I have a surprise for you.” Y/N said softly. She gave him a present box. "Open in.” 
Loki open the box and just looked at the shirt in a bit of confusion. It said 'Daddy’s girl’ when they had a son. “Uh…? Did you buy this by mistake…?” Y/N shakes her head ‘no’. Loki was still quite confused. Why did she buy a ‘daddy’s girl’ shirt? They had a son, not a daughter. So, it made no sense for her to buy that. “Then why did you get it…?” 
"Because our daughter will need it." Y/N was holding back her smile seeing Loki’s confusion. 
He immediately tensed up at the word ‘daughter’ and realized what she was implying. Their daughter. She was implying that they were going to have a second child. He just couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that it was really happening. Loki was overwhelmed with emotions, and it showed on his face. His mouth dropped open as he spoke softly. “Our daughter..?” 
Y/N nods, making Loki’s heart raced and his breathing quickened as he realized the good news. His smile became so wide that he even felt his cheeks ache. He was going to be a father again? That was an overwhelming thought and he loved it. The happiness he felt was overwhelming. “We’re going to have a daughter…?” He finally asked. She nods again, a few tears escaping her eyes. 
Loki was filled with so many emotions right now that he just embraced her in a tight and loving hug. He held her close to him, smiling as he did so. Loki’s happiness was palpable at this point. He couldn’t believe that he was going to be a father again. He just couldn’t. And it was so unbelievable that he almost couldn’t accept it just yet. But as he held his wife close to him, he embraced the idea of having another child. 
They had some hard months ahead. Thor had given up the throne, so Loki was next in line to be king now. And a few more months, another baby, a beautiful and healthy baby girl, was born. Loki felt like he was on a cloud, he just couldn’t believe how his life was working out so well for him. With a gorgeous wife and two beautiful children, life couldn’t get any better. 
He was truly overjoyed and grateful. His life was filled with nothing but love and blessings. There was nothing left that he could possibly ask for now. With two beautiful children, the best wife in the world, a kingdom to rule one day. Things couldn’t be better. And as he looked down at his babygirl, he thought about all of this. He loved his life, he loved being a father and he loved his family. And this was more than just a passing thought, this was his life. His happy, fulfilling, life. 
67 notes · View notes
acourtofthought · 20 hours
Note
You often mention that because Lucien already lost Jesminda — someone he believed to be his mate — he won’t lose his mate again (Elain). That Sarah wouldn’t do that to him.
But have you considered that this could also be the very reason why Lucien doesn’t want or need a mate, and may not end up with Elain?
Think about it: Lucien loved Jesminda. He mourned her death for centuries. Now that it’s revealed that Jesminda isn’t actually her mate… and Elain is… do you think Lucien somehow loves Jesminda less? Or views their past relationship in a lesser manner? I doubt it.
If anything, it would prove to Lucien that in the grand scheme of things, a mating bond has little bearing on true love.
Jesminda, as per canon: had loved Lucien “without question” and “without hesitation.” Jesminda had “chosen” him.
Elain, as per canon: is only involved with Lucien because of the mating bond that neither asked for (basically a glorified arranged marriage). There is question, and there is certainly hesitation. When it came down to it in ACOSF, Elain chose Azriel, not Lucien.
Jesminda wasn’t Lucien’s mate, but loved him with all she had. Elain is Lucien’s mate… and seemingly wants nothing to do with him. Again, wouldn’t this just prove to Lucien that a mating bond really means… fuck all?
An apt comparison is to the Rowan/Lyria/Aelin saga. Although Rowan loved Lyria (and even once believed they were mates), when it came down to it, Rowan later reflected that he and Lyria were such different people, and were never that compatible in the first place.
“He'd come to love Lyria--that had been true. And the guilt of it ate him alive whenever he thought of it, but he could understand now. Why Lyria had been so frightened of him for those initial months, why it had been so damn hard to court her, even with that mating bond, its truth unknown to Lyria as well. She had been gentle, and quiet, and kind. A different sort of strength, yes, but not what he might have chosen for himself.”
Doesn’t that sound familiar…?
Instead, Rowan found his match in Aelin. From the start, even when they were arguing and bickering and cruel to one another, there was always a spark. Always passion.
In the same way Vassa and Jesminda (who we know Lucien adored) are described in the same way. Compatible. Lucien is lighter around Vassa. He found a home with her, when no one else offered him one (including Elain).
And never once was Rowan blushing around other women, or travelling to nearby continents to save other women while Aelin remained at home… as Lucien was for Vassa.
Never once was Aelin near kissing other men, or buying other men gifts while Rowan was in the same house… as Elain was for Azriel.
“A bird of flame ... and a lord of fire. I wondered if they'd found each other yet."
Why would SJM say that for it to lead to… nothing?
So what I just gathered from that is your acknowledgement that it took Rowans real mate to help him finally move past his sadness and guilt with Lyria (who he believed was his mate), and eventually fall in love with Aelin, his actual mate.
It also seems like it took Lucien meeting his real mate to start moving on from his guilt and past with Jesminda, who he thought was his mate. And could also eventually have a HEA with Elain, his actual mate.
For both males, it took their actual mate to move forward.
And yes, Rowan did separate from Aelin for a period of time. Just like Lucien is living elsewhere.
Are they the exact same scenarios? No but why would they be? Did Aelin have a sister that she was living with? Is Elain an assassin who had other business to deal with? These are different characters with different stories and Elucien is the only SJM pairing to have a bond snap like it did. Elain was the only character engaged and in love with someone else when that happened.
For the females:
Aelin did not have feelings for Rowan for quite a while as she was nursing broken feelings from her relationship with Chaol. Where she slept in bed with Rowan yet still did not develop romantic feelings for him.
Which is similar to Elain not jumping immediately into Lucien's arms after her fiance rejected her (something not even Aelin had). Giving her a pretty valid reason to instead focus on an innocent crush as she's overwhelmed by the enormity of her mating bond and has not really been in a place to process those feelings.
And no, Aelin didn't hook up with someone after meeting Rowan because they were planning for a war. She had other things on her mind at that time.
Nesta definitely did though! Even though she claims she always wanted Cassian.
Lucien's not just a Lord of Fire though is he? Why would SJM have Elain say she needs "sunshine" then reveal Lucien to be the heir to the Day Court? Weird how your argument works in my favor too! ☺️. Especially when my girl Elain is still the one he longs for after living with said Bird of Flame. If he's had a year to get to know Vassa yet Elain is still the one he wants I'm thinking Vassa just doesn't do it for him, sorry! 🤷
You're trying to say that because Lyria wasn't what Rowan would have chosen for himself the same can be said of Elain for Lucien except... It kind of seems like Elain is what he wants since he's still coming around despite her distance?
You can't honestly believe Lucien truly knew Elain the very first time he met during her depression which led to him thinking back on Jesminda..
He was remembering Jesminda when she was happy and free. And he had recently discovered Elain was in love with someone else and therefore he was struggling with the realization she probably wouldn't want him. Of course the two females seemed very different to Lucien in that moment. It doesn't mean Lucien didn't end up liking what he learned the more he learned of her.
And Rowan was a warrior which is why he was best suited to a mate who was also a fighter.
Lucien has no interest fighting (though he'll do it when he has to). Doesn't it stand it reason that a female who isn't a warrior, one with a different sort of strength, is the perfect fit for him? Exactly as his real mate is described?
Lyria was married to Rowan and he thought that of her. When Lucien and Elain are married, we can compare notes 😉.
Again, Lyria was his fake mate. Probably why Rowan wouldn't have chosen her.
Elain is Lucien's real mate.
And what Lucien wanted in his youth is not necessarily who he'd want now. Jesminda was wild and free and Lucien at the time would have given up his title for her. That doesn't really sound like the right fit for a grown Lucien who wants to help the courts and is set up to be a future High Lord with responsibilities.
And Az blushed at Mor while Elain was in the room. Are you trying to claim that all blushes equal endgame love interests? He blushed for Nesta in SF.
You might want to check out the TOG series because a male who wasn't Lorcan blushed at Elide.
Also, Lucien wasn't blushing at Vassa, he was blushing because Feyre was embarrassing him in front of his mate.
It's funny how e/riels come onto my page acting like Elain isn't special compared to Vassa, just to ship Lucien with anyone else.
She's Elain Fucking Archeron. The most beautiful female he'd ever seen. She's kind, wise, thoughtful, generous and loving (all words used in the series to describe her). AND she's his mate. It's very amusing that you think Vassa could top that for Lucien.
He's desired by many females but there's only one he wants.
You're also forgetting that it's not just because he lost Jesminda that I feel this way. The author was going to pair him with Nesta but didn't because she realized they'd be a poor fit. Why would she pair him with the other sister if she was also going to be a bad match for him?
That wouldn't make a lot of sense now, would it?
Oh! Adding an Edit:
Lucien also loved Jesminda to the point that he thought she was his mate because he had never experienced a mating bond, he was able to convince himself that what he felt was the love from a bond. Now that he knows exactly how powerful and consuming a mating bond is, how can he ever go back from that? Not only will another female never have the potential of being his mate (meaning he'll never love her to the point of thinking she could be because he knows she never will), but he will also be lacking the thread that exists between them.
He knows what a bond is now. He knows that it helps him sense Elain. That sitting with her and feeling her caused him to blush.
Once your eyes are opened up, you can't go back from that.
Knowing that Elain is his mate and understanding what a mating bond actually is means that it will be difficult for him to be without it.
I know he doesn't love Jesminda less than he once did but there will be a difference for Lucien in his first love versus his forever love, especially once he shares a bond with. It's silly to think that just because he believed something in his youth, he can easily go back to that after centuries and the new experience he's gathered with having a real mating bond with someone.
And Vassa and Jesminda are the furthest thing from similar. Jesminda was "laughter and mischief". Please show me where you've gotten hints of that from Vassa's character.
66 notes · View notes
novalizinpeace · 1 day
Text
I want to share with ya'll something funny that my lil cousin make me remember when i was talking with her about the cartoon critters ('cause yeah, she's my betatester for the cartoon, nothing better that to have a real kid in the matter)
You know why i had been so invested in the critters?
As i had said before i work with children, and due that i had to find ways to bring their attention while working in ''boring'' things, and what was the idea i got for it?
With pretty characters of course!
I for my work i make some curious characters, wanna see the funny part, this were the design
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Take in mind, i made this around february 2023, A LOT before the smiling critters were out, so you can imagine the surprise and shock in my mind when the teaser trailer was out. Yeah, the design aren't the same, and i admit they are kinda generic children design for animals, but the similarities were so shocking for me that i remember looking at my files again and thinking how the fuck did this happens? Did i base them in the smiling critters without know it? Had i see this design before and i couldn't remember? Doesn't matter at the end, casualities happens i guess, so i leave it like that.
Sadly, this little creatures hadn't never used for their purpose. Even when i had make a lot of didactic work, i hadn't have the financial meaning to put it out (copyright, print it, distribute it).
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I was so hyped with this that i didn't think on it till it was too late (aka i had made a full mini book and their stories), so even when sad, i accept it and keep moving, so they had been canned in my files since then.
This is probably why i had embrace the cartoon critters with such power, 'cause in a way they're allowing me to work in something similar to this with the internet support, and that make me happy.
Why 'm sharing all this? Well, my cousin also help me design this lil' creatures at it time (the cat, called Alicia, was completly her idea), so she ask me to draw the cat with crafty in the first episode (since is also her fav one in the critters), and well, i did it
Tumblr media
So yeah, this lil cat is going to be a background character, and maybe the rest of the lil' creatures too, since my cousin was really happy to see her design in my actual project, and i'm happy to see this design one more time.
Nova Out
91 notes · View notes
staryukis · 2 days
Note
Has roommate gojo and you ever accidentally kissed? Or is it going to be very special? Thinking about him rn
nonnie i am !! so glad you sent this ask !!! i really love first kiss scenarios 🥹🥹❤️ tho i was admittedly struggling a bit with this bc im so torn on how i want it to happen.... for all we've talked about roomie!gojo we haven't quite set up how you both get together, haven't we? (because, surely it wouldn't just be one kiss with you.... the moment he gets so much as a taste he's addicted)
so that being said, im thinking... i kinda wanna go off what you said about it being an accident! for most of the time you both lived together, satoru had a tendency to swallow his feelings and keep them hidden— lest he ruin the dynamic with the person he lives with. it makes sense when he thinks of it like that; he'd rather you have a roof over your head and be in the dark about how he feels for you than to have to worry about moving out and finding a new place to live, all to avoid the ensuing awkwardness that would unfold.
(because, naturally, he's convinced that's how you'll react. for someone who outwardly seems so confident of himself he's never been so unsure about someone's perception of him.)
but i digress!... i can't currently think of a specific scenario that would lead up to your first kiss with him, i'm so indecisive 😣 but it's definitely an accident and way too short-lived for satoru's liking. it's barely even a kiss, more like a little peck— he feels your lips ghost over his for that split second and his brain short circuits. time slows to an immediate stop, he's stuck in this stuffy period between before kissing you and after kissing you. he blinks and his face flushes a crimson red almost immediately, all the blood rushing around his body making him lightheaded. you're the first to react, to pull back. he has to force himself to get a hold of the situation because—
he kissed you. you both kissed. he felt you kiss back for the briefest second.
what you both do next is largely dependent on the scenario/setting... i feel like if it's within the privacy of your own home he's very quick to get it together lol. it's a movie-type moment where he hastily grabs your face and pulls you back in for a real kiss, reacting quickly enough so that the inevitable awkward silence after a barely-there-at-all kiss doesn't wedge you two apart. his lips slide against yours with a fervent passion, breaths coming out short from his nose, his heart hammering in his chest— and everything around you stills. the world holds its breath until you kiss him back.
(you're quick to do so, of course.)
if you're in a setting with other people around— like, a party, or something —he's unfortunately not as quick on his feet. there's this burning you feel in your face the moment you pull back from him but you can't tell if you're flustered because you just barely kissed your roommate or embarrassed that it happened at all, in front of your own friends no less, and satoru gets a little in over his head about that too. he cant decide if he wants to risk trying to kiss you for real because it could potentially make things worse in front of everyone. say, if you ever happened to want to pull away, or felt obligated to kiss him back under the watchful eyes surrounding you two— god, that sounds like a nightmare to him.
(really, he wants you to want this as much as he does.)
so when you clear your throat and mutter out an apology, quickly moving on from it, he has to pretend he doesn't feel this stinging sense of disappointment in his chest. little does he know that the very second you're both alone again, and he tries to stammer out a sad little apology to you— you're the one who hastily pulls him close to you, fisting the collar of his shirt and pulling his face down to your height, however big or small that distance is. you kiss him partly to shut him up from his anxious yapping and also partly because you couldn’t stop thinking about how you didn’t get a good enough feel for his lips earlier, and well— you really wanted to try again this time, for some reason. so you finally properly kiss him and he feels his body react before the information even reached his mind. he's immediately grabbing your waist, kissing you back just as hard— maybe even accidentally crowding you against the wall behind you while he's at it, which surprises the both of you.
he kisses you and you kiss him and neither of you pull apart until your lips are swollen and you need to gasp for air... he chases your lips when you pull back and you huff out a breathless giggle at his eagerness... his thumbs rub along small indents they're leaving on the skin of your love handles... it doesn't matter what he was doing that night prior to this moment because he's drunk right now— purely intoxicated on you.
(you don't quite get together and officially become a couple immediately after that, but as i mentioned, he wants to taste you all the time now. so im thinking maybeeee you both randomly make out on occasion when you're both home and bored but— hey, can you blame him? even when it's been several weeks since you first kissed him and you've both been making out together on the couch for god knows how long tonight, the kiss getting a little heavier than it usually does, and he has to excuse himself to the bathroom for a questionable amount of time when he heard a moan rumble in the back of your throat—)
70 notes · View notes
Note
Romantic Kaveh x male archon reader headcanons?? - ☎️
Thank you, ☎️ for being my first requester! I love Kaveh so much (*squeezes squeezes him like stress ball*). You said headcanons my brain said "write a whole ass fic" and voila aka I obsessed over this day and night
Btw I didn't know what we (reader) was the archon of so I just went ahead and made them Kusanali's/Nahida's bigger dendro archon brother, so warning!!! SPOILERS for the Sumeru archon quest + Kaveh's sad ass backstory (which was revealed in a past event). Reader talks quite formally in this since they're an archon (re: immortal old man)
Enjoy the read, ☎️ Anon! (Goes to fist bump you to hide the fact that I am shaking) I really really hope you like it! And man tagging is HARd. Lowercase d bc it's not fun
Also readers comment/reblog if you like it please please please (offers you thousands of platonic cheek kisses in return + one hug where I awkwardly stick my butt out so I'm not too much in your personal space like Chris pine) thank you for taking a chance on my writing it feels so good to write again but like. Newly.
For new readers, 'Y/N' means "Your Name" for you to self insert yourself into the fic for greater immersion.
Disclaimer: Although this is not a sexual piece featuring smut, this work will feature sexual themes, and it does depict unhealthy codependence and thinking (bc yk, yandere) so if you choose to read, please be 18 and older. Take care! (*Shoots you with the "are you an adult?" Beam. Unsafe for minors- If you are a minor you instantly combust 💥. Adults feel nothing but a tickle 🤗).
[Romantic Yandere] Kaveh x Male Archon Reader: I'll Look Out for You
--------------------------------
Tumblr media
---------------------------------------------
Being an archon is... Well, it's a mixed bag of feelings. You constantly had to supervise your nation, and even when you believed you had paid sufficient attention to one issue, another would always crop up. Yes, it's often rare for one nation to have two archon siblings at its helm, and has even led to tragedy, but that won't happen to you and Nahida.
Even when her "Greater Lord" form disappeared, you knew that she was still here with you, because you could feel her existence still within Sumeru, a tiny sap of a thing, thrumming through your veins.
However, your mood did plummet for the period she disappeared, and this was reflected in Sumeru's population as well. See, while Kusanali had personally tended to the Tree of Irminsul and the knowledge of Sumerans, you on the other hand, was directly related to their fates, or rather, their luck. It was something that required great care and attention due to its need for balance. People typically had a base amount of luck in their lives, although there were definitely some whose fate naturally inclined towards better or worse luck. Since you were in charge of maintaining the balance, whenever you were in a poor mood, people's lives in Sumeru tended to... well, go wrong, for lack of a better term, some worse than others.
But! Kusanali is back now, an adorable little being going by "Nahida," who always has questions for you about this or that, as hungry for knowledge as she had been in the past. Imagine the headache you had received when you learned that she had essentially traded her gnosis up for "the truth"! But... that's over and done with, and she's growing more powerful by the day, so now you can divvy up a few tasks for her to handle with that bad-mannered anemo wielder she supervises (you're definitely not jealous of the Hat Guy).
With that settled, it was time for you to go ahead and mend things, focusing on the individuals you had accidentally made prone to poorer luck.
You visited them all in secret, disguising your identity and fixing their life by avoiding or fixing disasters and the process was going smoothly until you find Kaveh. And holy moly. You haven't seen a mortal walking around so prone to bad fate in centuries... And often, it wouldn't be too long before they met their end. You knew that you would have to constantly supervise him to make sure he wouldn't die or end up being scammed.
You care for all of your constituents, but Kaveh is a special case. He is genuinely kind and a good guy to a fault- he is unfortunately too gullible! Many a time you find yourself laughing at the situations he would nearly get himself in, only nearly due to your intervention, of course.
You decide you should go and check on Kaveh after a busy but fun afternoon full of Aranara visits, closing your eyes and honing your archonic senses to find him. Whenever an archon grants someone their vision, there is a tiny, tiny part of the archon's divinity that is implanted within it, making it easier for an archon to track and find their Vision bearer. Location pinpointed, you quickly teleport to him, looking above his head where it showed a darkening clover 🍀, indicating that bad luck was starting to form for Kaveh, who is currently walking through the Grand Bazaar.
Suddenly, a child in front of Kaveh drops a large round Sunsettia, and Kaveh steps on it, squashing it underneath his foot.
"Whoaaa!" Kaveh's voice warbles as he attempts to balance himself, but ends up slipping on the slick juice produced by the fruit, sending him flying forward, briefcase and all.
"Oh shoot," you mutter quickly, stress coursing through your veins.
"Sorry, sorry!" Kaveh crashes into a small merchant stall, but with a quick twitch of your fingers and good luck sent his way, the damage is much more minimal than it would seem to be. Looks like you had good timing.
"Nothing was damaged, but if you really feel bad for the trouble, you can check out my wares..." The well-to-do merchant waves a hand adorned with various gold rings and bracelets over the table's offerings.
"Well! Looking won't be too much trouble!" Kaveh announced, giving a cursory glance at the table when he stops, eyeing something. You move closer, making sure you're still invisible while you look.
"Oh! Do you like this, sir? You have a good eye, indeed!" A merchant boasts, holding up a clearly fake bracelet up to a clearly interested Kaveh.
"Yes... But how much is it?" Kaveh cautiously asks, eyes locked on the bracelet.
"Oh, for you? Only 20,000 Mora!" The merchant grins, a cunning smile that flashes gold-tipped canines. This guy's definitely a skilled conman.
"What!? That's too much!" Kaveh squawks, waving his hand and moving to visit another stall, but the merchant stops him.
"Oh, I understand that the asking price may seem high, but this is one piece from a collection specially made from Clearwater Jade, freshly imported from Chenyu Vale in Liyue! Such fine material and craftsmanship would go for at least four times the asking price normally!" The merchant continues, making Kaveh stop in his tracks. Seeing that he's getting through to Kaveh, the merchant decides to deliver the finishing blow.
"Please, sir! I have three hungry children at home, and if I don't sell something today, we won't be able to eat!" The merchant wails, putting his hands on his face in such a bad performance that you can't hold back a short laugh. You know this guy doesn't have any kids, he could just quickly tell that Kaveh has a bleeding heart, and the dark clover pops up above Kaveh's head again.
"Well..." Kaveh frowns, brows furrowing in obvious sympathy, and picks up the bracelet again. His hand reaches for his Mora pouch, and that's when you decide to intervene, wiggling your finger at the merchant, and suddenly the merchant's table crashes to the ground inexplicably so, sending all of the "premium" jewelry except the one in Kaveh's hand crashing to the ground, breaking on contact.
"No!" The merchant yells in horror.
"Wait!" Kaveh gasps, "This isn't Clearwater Jade!" and poor sweet Kaveh, the fact that this is all he realizes is enough to make you laugh.
"Of course it isn't, you idiot! Go away! You bring bad luck with you!" The merchant angrily shoos Kaveh from his stall. Without further interference from you, the darkening clover 🍀 disappears from Kaveh's head and instead one appears above the merchant's. Balance!
"But wait, your bracelet-" Kaveh tries to give it back but the merchant, clucking over his ruined jewelry, pays him no mind.
"Keep it! Take it with you!" The merchant yells and Kaveh, dumbfounded, walks away, bracelet in hand as you laugh and turn away, deciding that's enough of monitoring Kaveh for the day.
//
"Hmm?" Kaveh turns around, feeling like he hears laughter. Unbeknownst to you, your disguise slips just for a second and Kaveh spots your floating back, a flash of green and his eyes go wide.
"Hey!" He shouts out in reflex, but you're gone, quickly teleporting to your abode.
"Did I just see Greater Lord Y/N?" Kaveh asks himself, before shaking his head, and taking a deep breath.
"Must've imagined it," he mutters, resolving to go home and take a long deserved nap. The stress of his new commission must be getting to him, he resolves before heading home.
//
"Whew! That was a close one!" You breathe to yourself, resolving to be sneakier next time.
And you are! You continue to help Kaveh out in random moments over the next couple of weeks, making sure to stay invisible the entire time but Kaveh's being odd.
Sometimes, after you intervene, he will look right in your direction for a few seconds, and if you weren't certain you were invisible, you'd think he's staring straight at you, before he goes about his day.
//
Lately, things have been going... surprisingly well for Kaveh. It's odd, almost, and in ways that always seem coincidental.
Just the other day a pail of water was falling off a roof above him while he was walking underneath but he was pushed out of the way by a strong force right in the nick of time. And on a different day when he intended to donate a hefty chunk of Mora to a charity for needy children, Cyno and other Mahamatras suddenly interrupted and surrounded the charity spokesperson he was speaking with. They then outed the supposed spokesperson as an experienced conman who's been grifting innocent Sumerans, saving Kaveh from wasting his money.
He's been really lucky lately, and although he hasn't hallucinated seeing Greater Lord Y/N again ever since that day where he almost bought cheap knockoff jewelry from that shady merchant, he has noticed something. Sometimes, on the days when Kaveh avoids disaster, he notices that the air around him seems a little... blurrier, even?
And Kaveh definitely doesn't think that one of the two archons running Sumeru is spending their time following him around but... He recently visited the House of Daena, (on a whim, of course!) and found a biographic scroll labeled Divine Encounters, in which an ancient explorer recounted her encounters with the Sumeran archons. The explorer had claimed that moments before the archons had revealed themselves to her, the air around her had appeared blurry!
But. It all feels very much like whimsical thinking, so Kaveh tries to think of a more reasonable explanation. When he fails to find one, he decides to go the most rational (and annoying) person he knows, Alhaitham.
"I'm telling you, something is going on, Haitham," Kaveh insists to his roommate who was lounging on a daybed and reading a book. "And I keep feeling some sort of presence, it's like- no, it can't be. What do you think of what I told you so far?"
"Hmm," is all his counterpart thoughtfully offers, turning a page of his book.
"What!? Is 'hmm' all you have to say when I come to you with a crisis?" Kaveh huffs, and Alhaitham sighs loudly and places his book down.
"It seems like you've already reached a conclusion that you're hesitant to accept as the possible explanation, by which you're doing yourself a disservice," Alhaitham dryly responds, and Kaveh frowns.
"But the reason I think things have been going well for me- it just wouldn't make sense!" Kaveh explains in an exasperated manner.
"Well. When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth, Kaveh," Alhaitham drawls, and with that said, picks up his book and turns so that he is facing the other way, clearly done with the conversation. Always straight to the point but also such a drama king! Kaveh shakes his head in exasperation, but he's already considering Alhaitham's words.
Strictly speaking, it's not entirely impossible that Kaveh is being followed by an archon...
"But why would Greater Lord Y/N decide to focus on me?" Kaveh wonders aloud, putting his hands on his hips. He has to go back to the House of Daena; he has some studying to do. First- he has to find out where the Shrine for Greater Lord Y/N is located again, and second he needs to discover what the older archon likes. He's ashamed to admit it, but the last time he's offered an offering to either of the archons was in his early adolescence.
It isn't until Kaveh's already left that Alhaitham sits up straight in his chair, wide eyed, having actually processed what he just heard Kaveh say.
"Wait, what!? Greater Lord Y/N? Kaveh! What do you mean?" He uncharacteristically yells out, but Kaveh's already hurrying out the door.
//
"Oh!" A rush goes throughout your body when you're in the middle of purifying a Withering Spot that had oddly made a reappearance, and your body glows with a vibrant green light. You feel like someone's just plugged you in, overflowing with energy, and that can only mean one thing. Someone's just made an offering to you!
It's not a rare occurrence, but it's certainly not a common one! You and Nahida both have shrines, but yours is a bit farther to reach from the city, closer to the Desert Region where many people avoid travelling through due to the blistering heat. You had previously made an agreement with the Hydro Archon in which she agreed to bestow her vision upon Sumeran individuals based in the desert so their lives would be a bit easier.
Excited and fully intending to go and extend a blessing on the faithful constituent, you rush to your shrine and to your pleasant surprise, you see Kaveh of all people there, kneeling near freshly lit incense. Around him is a bouquets of Padisarahs, and a ring of Henna Berries and what looked to be a small figurine of yourself, fashioned from a beautiful material. A rush goes throughout you at the gesture, and you float closer to him, cloaked in invisibility, because it appears you've caught him in the middle of speaking.
"And uh, I'm sorry for taking so long to come and make an offering, Greater Lord Y/N, but I hope you enjoy what I've brought along with me," Kaveh awkwardly prays, and you can't help but feel endeared by him.
"I do," you say aloud, making yourself visible to him and Kaveh shrieks, falling backwards onto his butt.
"AAHH! Y-you," Kaveh stutters, pointing at you, and you smile warmly at him.
"I'm sorry, Kaveh, I didn't mean to scare you," you apologize, floating down until you're standing next to him, offering him a hand.
Kaveh gapes at your hand for a moment before he gently takes it and uses it to right himself. You pretend not to notice how he grips the hand that touches you tightly with his other hand, or the fact that his hands are shaking. People do tend to be a bit reverent when in the presence of an archon, which is fine.
"Greater Lord Y/N knows my name..." Kaveh says aloud in wonder, a slight flush on his cheeks and you cock your head at him.
"Of course. I know everyone borne of Sumeru," you reply matter-of-factly, and Kaveh wilts a bit. You hate the sight of that so you quickly add, "But you are a special case. Not only have you made beautiful works such as the Palace of Alcazarzaray, but you also truly live up to your moniker of 'Light of Kshahrewar'. Within you is a kind soul that appears to... radiate, no matter where you go," you tell him truthfully.
"Oh," Kaveh replies in a breathy voice, flush growing more intense, and then hides his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking. You decide to elaborate. Maybe hearing this will be good for him.
"You try hard in everything you do, and you have not let the darkness of your misfortunes dim you. You're quite the individual, and I'm proud someone like you bears the vision my sister and I represent."
Kaveh remains silent this time, but this time he's taking in deep, shuddering breaths. You feel slight worry, because you did not intend to make him cry.
"Kaveh?" You ask, nearing him, unsure of what's the matter.
"Th- thank you for saying that," Kaveh replies, voice sounding a bit throaty, "I just. I just need a moment," so you nod and gently put a hand on his shoulder, patting it once before leaving it there. A little bit of comfort can go a long way. You think you feel him shiver under your hand, but you're uncertain seeing as how his shoulders were shaking previously.
"Of course. Take your time, I just wanted to come and see who was leaving me an offering," you softly reply, "It's been a while since I received gifts so thoughtful." You bend over and pick up the small statue he made of you, a smile forming naturally on your face.
"I'm glad you like it," Kaveh says bashfully, "I wanted to add something of my own to your offerings. Forgive its rough appearance, I only had wood at my disposal."
"Nonsense; it's perfect, and I will be taking it with me. Well done, Kaveh," you praise, and goosebumps rise on his arms, but you don't notice that.
"Thank you," he says shyly, before blurting out, "for the compliment! But also for everything else you've done for me, and I guess the rest of Sumeru..." He finishes awkwardly, and you laugh.
"It is my duty and pleasure," you say, locking eyes with him, "and now, I shall extend a small blessing of luck upon you in exchange for your sign of devotion today." No darkening clover 🍀 exists above his head, but you intend to reward him in the small way you can.
Warmth rushes over Kaveh, just for a second, and his eyes naturally slip close before he snaps them back open. You are already beginning to levitate, intention to leave clearly made.
"Before you go, forgive my impudence at the implications of this, but have you been..." Kaveh trails off, the last few words of his sentence sounding garbled.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" You ask, and Kaveh's face blanks in panic.
"Forgive me for being presumptuous!" Kaveh quickly falls to his knees and raises his hands, bowing his head, and you can't help but laugh, not unkindly.
"No, that's not it, I genuinely couldn't make out what you were saying," you explain, and Kaveh raises his head, mouth forming an "o".
"Well, I had asked if you..." Kaveh takes a deep breath, standing up but avoiding eye contact, "had been following me the past couple of weeks."
"Ah," you chuckle. So he did spot you! "Yes, I have!" You confirm, full of mirth, and Kaveh looks up at you, shocked. Feeling like this was a good place to end the conversation, you levitated up into the air.
"Safe travels, Kaveh! I'll be watching!" With a twitch of your finger, you order an extra bit of good luck his way, in addition to the blessing, just to be safe. And with that, you teleport away, feeling quite good about the encounter.
//
Kaveh returns home, feeling like a large burden has been lifted off of his shoulders.
So who does Kaveh really have in the end? Sure, his achievements have endured that people flock to him, but it's always on a level that feels very superficial. His relationships never last long, he and his friends never have time to meet, and the person he sees the most seems to care for him and resent him near simultaneously and it's. It's too much to bear.
Ever since the death of his father which he felt partially responsible for, Kaveh has tried his hardest to be someone worthwhile, do something amazing. It's part of why he decided to become an architect, because he wanted to create something people would enjoy and also something he would be remembered for. It's a redemption, of sorts.
His father had died partaking in an event he only participated in in order to impress Kaveh. Then his mother, who couldn't deal with her grief or the depressing situation, moved out of their house to start a new life, leaving him behind, alone. His family name is no longer tinged with tragedy, instead overshadowed by Kaveh's achievements but in the end... Kaveh's mother never returned to Sumeru. She barely even responds to his letters.
Bad things happen to bad people and good things happen to good people, right?
So Kaveh tries to be good.
He smiles, he doesn't hold grudges. He lives and lets live. He gives people chance after chance. He donates to charities and saves animals that are distressed and he gives away his lunch to the hungry and he'll listen to other people's stories. He always gives his commissioners 110% of his effort when crafting for them, even if he disagrees with their vision. He waves to people who refer to him as the "Light" and always gives time and advice to his juniors who look at him with stars in their eyes. He bears it with a smile when he finds out he's been tricked once again or learns that the funding for one of his proposed projects has once again fallen through.
And it pays off! Yes, he lost his house and swims in debt higher than his neck, but now he lives with a roommate? friend? person who obviously cares for him, even if they critique him and every situation he gets himself into. And no, he does not think of the possibility that underneath all of the threats of being kicked out, Alhaitham may one day choose to leave him behind as well. (Kaveh would never admit it but he would be devastated).
He barely manages to keep on going, especially when times are rough, but today? Today proves it is all worth it.
To be recognized, and by an archon like you, it's- euphoric. Elation runs through his veins, makes him giddy in the most senseless of ways. His heart beats fast in his chest, and even his body on a whole, feels ten times lighter than it had before.
The Sumeru Archons rarely make their presence known to anyone- in the past, they had only materialized in front of their most devout worshippers, or those who had made great achievements- heroes, explorers, warriors, like the Traveler! And now Kaveh, of all people, joins that group, met by-
You! Greater Lord Y/N! You, who had touched him, comforted him, praised him- who had seen through the barrier he puts up and had spoken words that had comforted his troubled soul- you are worthy of all the reverence Kaveh can give!
He's- he's shaking, overwhelmed by your magnitude. To have it confirmed that you really were stepping in and interfering with his life to make things easier for him- it, it feels so good. To know that he's under your protection. To know that he doesn't have to worry as much. To know that you care. And Kaveh knows he has people that care about him in his life, but it doesn't feel anything like this, nowhere close to having the attention of a God upon him.
Kaveh passes by Alhaitham in a daze, who gives him a once over and then takes off his headphones.
"Are you sick? You don't look well," Alhaitham says in a blunt manner, and normally Kaveh would feel some sort of way about Alhaitham's choice of wording, but no, not today.
"I just need to be alone right now," Kaveh answers, and Alhaitham stares at him in the Alhaitham way before nodding and putting his headphones back on.
Kaveh walks to his room, and immediately upon re-entering his room, he sees the book he had rented from the House of Daena all about you open on his bed. The page he had left it on had a picture that did not capture you and your features well, but is enough to make his heart race once more.
He instantly recounts details of your encounter with him, turning them over in his head, letting emotions flow over him.
Kaveh shivers again, and desperately tries to regain his composure. There's a burning heat in his chest, and he oddly feels as if he's about to cry at any moment or jump for joy. His stomach is doing its own thing with somersaults, and his hands won't stop trembling. He stumbles on shaky legs to sit on his bed, and decides to try and express what he's feeling, hoping you can feel how genuine he is.
"Greater Lord Y/N, thank you. Thank you," He stumbles through his words, "I- no, this humble servant thanks you for your kindness shown. I won't forget; I won't."
With that said, he gets up and goes to his desk, beginning to work on another figurine of you, similar to the one he had made as an offering, this one will be just for him... for reasons that don't have to be disclosed. He wants to have a version of you he can see and feel and touch, all to himself. When he's done crafting it, he looks around guiltily and hopes you're not watching when he gently kisses the figurine's head. Just by holding it, he feels a sense of excitement, and an idea starts to take hold.
He needs to get started.
//
Sometimes, when Kaveh is taking a break from his new project, he remembers meeting you in that shrine, the kind and patient way with which you had spoken to him, the smile you had given him and it just, does things to him. Things he'll never say aloud and things he'll never act on because at the end of the day he is a mere mortal and you are an Archon, but if you weren't?
He'd worship you everyday in the most intimate of ways. Never a day would go by without Kaveh showing you how much you mean to him. He would give you anything you wanted, even if it meant his ruin, but he knew you were too kind to ever lead him down that path. (But he definitely wanted you to ruin him. Or do whatever you wanted to him, really).
But that's not what's important now! He has to finish this project that would let you know how deeply he cares for you and increase Sumeru's awareness!
//
Over the next two weeks, every time you check Kaveh's location with the intention of helping him out, you find that he's at home, where fate typically does not have a chance to become worse. But on the third week, you finally see that he's out, near the Palace of Alcazarzaray, and you decide you'll pop in on him and have a look at his fate.
Suddenly, you feel a rush run through you this time, but it's much stronger than when a person gives offerings, it's- you squeeze your eyes shut, acknowledgement and gratitude from people, multiple people, and Celestia above, it feels good! You haven't felt this way in a while especially since there has been a festival in your honor for quite a while, so to feel it again and so randomly picks up your mood.
It doesn't appear to be coming from your shrine so you go and let the feeling guide you to wherever the source is, and when you do, you find that you're in the very center of Palace of Alcazarzaray, the large splendid fountain has had its multilayer spout replaced by a large, beautiful statue of you with a plaque that read, "In honor of Greater Lord Y/N, who watches over us".
To the side of it stands Kaveh, obviously the inventor, with a proud smile and bags under his eyes, and although a crowd of people stands there clapping, he seems to be expectant of someone or something, searching the crowd with his eyes.
While you don't like public appearance, you are indeed very pleased with his work and intend to reward him for it in a very public way. Ensuring that you are disguised, you point a finger at the statue, and vines and flora of all different kinds begin to crawl all over the statue in a sheer layer where Kaveh's work could still be seen underneath.
"What? What is happening?" A confused man asks.
"I've never seen transparent flowers!" A woman gasps.
"Amazing! Did you design this function?" A person asks Kaveh, who seems at a loss for words.
Deciding to make your presence a little more clear, lotuses (which signify luck) and padisarahs lift themselves from the ground and come up in the air, intertwining themselves, until they form a beautiful, elaborate flower crown that floats through the air and places itself on Kaveh's head, who still looks shocked. The crowd erupts into noise.
"Oh my Archons!" A person cries out before they outright faint.
"Look! The Lotuses! It must be Greater Lord Y/N! He must be pleased with Kaveh's work!"
"An archon is here!" The crowd drops to their knees, even more acknowledgement and wonder and gratitude is sent your way and you laugh and clap your hands, sprinkling good fate here and there onto them.
For all who are present, clovers drift down from the sky and people reach out to grab them. But for Kaveh, you point at his right wrist and there, a clover and lotus sigil is branded. For he is your favorite, and you genuinely do care for him.
"Thank you," you float over and speak into his ear and Kaveh squeaks, hand going up to his ear and you laugh at his endearing reaction.
"Of course, it was no trouble for me. It's worth it if it's for you," Kaveh says sweetly, and you don't have time to process how you feel about such a statement before someone shouts, "Let's honor Greater Lord Y/N tonight!"
Word quickly spreads and there's a large nation-wide celebration that night in your honor, and it is one of the best nights you had in centuries. Nahida even takes part in the festivities, although many do not know her real identity, while you choose to stay hidden.
You sneak food off plates while people don't look and take sips from people's glasses. The wine is sweet and pungent and it's strong and it's so, so good. You follow Kaveh around as he jovially interacts with people, and every now and then Kaveh will look up to where you're disguised and smile, and you smile back even though you know he can't see it.
Kaveh steps away from the hustle and bustle onto a quiet, deserted street.
"Uh, Greater Lord Y/N? Would you mind coming out for a bit?" Kaveh asks nervously, and you look around, before doing as he asks.
"Yes, Kaveh?" You ask, from behind him, and Kaveh jumps, accidentally bumping into you.
"Oh! Sweet archons, I didn't expect that to work or for you to be so close-" Kaveh rambles, but all you can focus on is that from this close, he smells like the sweet, spiced wine that's been mulled from henna berries. The same type that you and him have been drinking all night.
"I didn't mean to startle you. You asked for me to appear. May I know why?" You ask calmly, and Kaveh slowly blinks at you, before looking down bashfully.
"I want- I want," Kaveh wrings his hands, and you place one of your own on top of his.
"Tell me," you order gently, and Kaveh looks at you and nods. In the space of a second, there's a sort of charged energy between the two of you, and it feels good, hypnotic even.
"Can I kiss you?" Kaveh asks demurely, leaning into your space and he's looking at you so hopefully and wantonly that you automatically say, "You shall," before you even remember what a 'kiss' is.
Kaveh pushes himself closer, and you leave yourself open and patient, feeling his lips and nose brush against yours and the sensation of it is so small and compact, yet enough to make tiny sparks go over your body. And maybe things are going too fast and yes you've only spoken to him once but you know Kaveh.
Plus- it's been so, so long since you've felt this way.
There's a thousand reasons you shouldn't but you lean closer, and press your lips against his once more, hand going to his jaw as you decide to go for a "real" kiss this time, and Kaveh kisses you back just as deeply. It's wet and passionate and slick and a thousand emotions you've forgotten since your the beginning of your archonhood. It's good and you want more.
You don't notice Kaveh's hands digging tightly into your clothes and if you had Nahida's ability, you would've known that all Kaveh was thinking was, "Finally yours."
//
"Aaaand look, Haitham, he even branded me! That means I'm spesha- special!" Kaveh slurs as Alhaitham tiredly helps him into his room on socked feet.
"Yes, very good, Kaveh," Alhaitham dryly replies, taking off Kaveh's flower crown and placing it onto the table and Kaveh frowns.
"Don't be like that! This is a good thing for me, this means everything to me! We're together, you know," Kaveh fires back and Alhaitham rolls his eyes.
"Yes, yes, whatever you say. The bucket's near you bed in case you need it. Night," Alhaitham quickly dumps him on the bed and leaves the room, and Kaveh cuddles into his bedsheets.
The next morning, Kaveh's eyes snap open.
"Did I really- did we? No, that must've been a dream!" Kaveh can't wrap his mind around last night, it seems that he dreamed that you and him kissed! What a wild thing to think!
He goes to brush a hand through his hair and get it out of his face when his hand comes into contact with something soft, and velvety.
He pulls his hand back and in it, is a flower, different from the wreath on his bed, and on it is written, "See you soon, love. Safe travels, I'll be watching <3- Y/N."
Kaveh opens his mouth and screams.
-----
The End
Note: if you read this far, thanks, (because this turned out way longer than it was supposed to be) But ofc. I love Kaveh! If this was more sexual let's just say Kaveh would've left more than figurines at Y/N's shrine iykyk that's all!!
A few extra headcanons:
Kaveh definitely gets himself into troubling situations so you can come and save him from his fate. It reassures him that you really do care for him.
Every day you make a different flower bloom in Kaveh's hair. he has no problem showing it off to people. He needs everyone to know that he's your favorite, not them.
He still leaves offerings at your shrine on a regular basis, but he'd rather offer his body up instead...
Late into your relationship he'll try to convince you to: a) either try out mortality b) make him live forever- if these don't work, he'll *hypothetically* get to work with Mehrak on a device that could trap/hold an archon so be carefulllll, reader
He goes to sleep holding the figurines he's made of you
Reader is not weirded out by Kaveh. Considers him "really devoted" because archons must've had crazy fans before so
58 notes · View notes
queer-n-here · 2 days
Note
UHM-UHM-
Yeah I have no shame to just not ask anonymously- anyways!
May I please request a 6'1 reader who is stoic, bold, also handsome as Dazai but ain't a womaniser, and is VERY quiet. With Dazai. He works at the ADA with him. He follows Dazai around like literally, he acts and opens up more to Dazai than he does with others, he literally doesn't care if Dazai was In the pm (they met at 14) or abt his crimes, he can read Dazai's emotions And can see through him, they R lovers, he is loyal asf to Dazai. He Also is rich asf and has better fashion tastes! Pls make both a oneshot or hc or ANYTHING ABT THEMMMMM
(I'm very desperate BC of a certain fantasy of mine)
Ah, I gotchu you bruv.
[ Also, let's do a little quiz. What country do y'all think I originate from? Like, based on my language and writing and just... Yeah.]
And yep, I'm double posting today!
Canonically, there are no mentions of Dazai's past before the Port Mafia, so I made stuff up. Hope you like it!
Contents: Uhh...a lot. I got... *winces* I got carried away.
Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of death, suicide and violence, Dazai's life is sad and so are these hcs.
You and Dazai met when you two were 14 each. It was a chance encounter, really. Both of you were orphans, and both of you were ability users, even though Dazai knew more about his ability than you did yours.
Both of you currently had no one in the world. That was the key factor that brought you two together. Struggling to get by and find a place of your own in the world, you met.
Neither of you opened up at first, cautious and calloused as you both were. It just happened; it didn't happen one particular day, and before you two had realized, you'd become each other's sole support.
You turned fifteen, and three months later Dazai met Mori.
He told you about it later, describing in the sort of detail no one else would get to hear how he'd rescued the Port Mafia leader from an enemy gang, unintentionally impressing him and securing Dazai a place in the Mafia.
You didn't like it. The job was dangerous, and you didn't want Dazai's hands to get stained with blood. When you told him this, he laughed it off, and said that he could handle it. You dropped the matter.
He was wrong.
You watched as Dazai changed, despite his promises and assurances. He grew ruthless, cruel in a way that made you ache as you watched him, silent. He started hating everything, even himself, and sometimes you thought he hated you, too.
He had a beautiful heart, you knew. But Mori was destroying it.
You talked to Mori about it, too. You might not have anything on him, yes, he was richer and way more powerful, but you had your ability, and you were ready to fight to death. Before you could, however, Dazai intervened.
That was the first time you two fought. After that, you went to him and told him you wouldn't care if he didn't want you to. If he wanted to keep going down the path that he'd chosen, you wouldn't stop him.
Sometimes, you look back and wonder if there was something you could have done for him other than what you did. You still can't think of anything.
You opened up a small business after that, and it slowly grew to a scale larger than you had expected.
Then you two turned eighteen. Finally, you were able to register your enterprises under your own name, being a legal adult. You and Dazai got wasted that night, and you watched fondly as he tried and failed to put his coat on so you two could go and meet Ango and Odasaku.
They had probably begun then, your feelings for Dazai. You were only comfortable enough with him to actually talk, and not just say what was absolutely required and then shut up.
He knew you in a way no else did. No one else knew what it looked like when you smiled, or threw your head back and laughed freely. No one else knew what it was like when you cared, when you brought over Dazai's favorite refreshing drink every time you visited him in summer. Or when you helped him change his bandages, touch gentle and careful against his soft skin.
And you knew him the way no else did. No one else knew what it was like when he was genuine, when he'd look up at you with earnest eyes. No one else knew what it was like when he flushed slightly, the red of his skin always starting from the tips of his ears and descending to his cheeks. No one else knew what it was like when Dazai protected, when he offered to use his contacts in the Mafia to get rid of your competitors, even though you declined every time. He had enough blood on his hands without you pitching in.
Eight months after that, he left the Port Mafia. He came to your apartment crying that day. His face was ashen, his shirt was covered in blood and his lips were trembling. The tears that had been collecting in his eyes for who knows how long finally spilled when he saw you, and the only thing you could do for him in that situation was open your arms and let him cling onto you. He kept saying 'Oda's dead... He's dead...'
That night, Dazai changed. Thankfully for the better. That flame in his eyes was gone now, the one that made you worry if he would burn himself and the world.
Dazai slowly stopped hating after that. You and Ango were the only two he trusted, the only two he would be genuine with. He didn't close up in a way that hid his smile, or in a way that made him withdraw from people. Quiet the opposite. He pushed himself outward, adopting a cheery persona that joked around and bewitched everyone.
The only smiles that weren't created but slid across his face on their own were ones that he smiled with you, and Ango.
You couldn't help but feel slightly bittersweet. Dazai was out of that hellhole, that cursed gang that was making his heart black. But Odasaku was dead.
After that, as your twenties arrived, Dazai joined the Armed Detective Agency. You were happy, then.
You two celebrated at a lavish restaurant. Your business had grown to be Japan's No. 1, and the money that spilled in with it was something neither Dazai nor you had expected.
But your hopes for the ADA were too high. Sometimes, Dazai still wanted to leave. He said he wanted to kill himself, and even though he would always laugh it off, you couldn't help but notice that his eyes would always grow hollow when he spoke of it.
And so the only thing you could do was love him. You loved him and tried your best to let him know, buying him unnecessary gifts and putting him on top of your mental priority list. Even your staff knew you loved him; it was apparent and obvious.
Dazai was probably the only one that didn't notice it, that genius dumbass.
And so you tried harder. You had never been good with words, but you tried to be vocal about your feelings, telling him he was cute when you thought so, and saying that he looked good when he did.
Dazai still didn't notice. The day he found out was when you got drunk and blurted it out.
You still don't have a lot of memories from that night, and Dazai says that you passed out soon after confessing. He finds it funny now, even though he didn't back then.
Your confession made Dazai pull up a wall against you. This surprised you, hurt you, and you tried apologizing, tried to get him to just talk to you. You told him that it didn't matter if he didn't return your feelings.
Something was hurting Dazai, you could tell. But he just wouldn't talk to you, going so far as to changing his phone number without telling you.
So you showed up at his workplace. Kunukida knew you by sight; you often came to pick Dazai up from work. You two had a big fight, shouting in one hallway of the agency building, making such a ruckus that Ranpo and the others came over to watch.
It ended with Dazai turning around to leave, and you were planning to let him go. But then you saw a tear glisten at his cheek last moment, and hence gave chase.
You chased him down all the way from Yokohoma to Kawasaki, only stopping when Dazai collapsed in the middle of a street, his frame shaking with sobs as he started hyperventilating. You crouched down beside him and pulled him to your chest, rubbing his back and conducting his breathing, your voice soft as it told him to inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale....
He fell asleep on your shoulder, in the middle of nowhere. You carried him back to your house, and tucked him into a warm bed. The next morning, he wouldn't meet your eye.
Usually, you would have let him; there was hardly anything that Dazai would do that you would disapprove of. But lately, you had been going against his wishes a lot, so you decided to do that one more time.
When he tried to leave, you pinned him to a wall and forced him to look at you. It wasn't difficult, Dazai had never really worked out, even as a part of the Port Mafia. His fighting style was more quick and clean moves than brute strength.
It worked well in your advantage as he tried to struggle against your hold and failed miserably, tears collecting in his eyes and threatening to fall.
It was alright after that. You asked Dazai why he tried to run away, and the only thing he said was that he got scared. He chose not to explain, and you chose not to push him.
"Dazai," You said. "If you want me to disappear from your life, I can do that." He looked up at you, eyes wide and blurred. "But there's one catch. You have to say it. Say it to my face, tell me to leave, and I swear on my own life, I'll vanish. You won't ever see me again." And then the tear that had been collecting in his eye all this time fell, sliding down his cheek and onto the collar of his shirt. His arms went limp in your hold, and he wobbled forwards. You caught him as he fell, and he sobbed into your shoulder again. His hands were clutching at your shirt as if for dear life, and even as you rubbed his back, more tears fell from his eyes. You held Dazai through his breakdown. The next time he spoke to you, he said the words, "I like you too much." It was a silent confession, almost muffled into your shoulder as the post-crying exhaustion overtook. You pulled him closer and pressed a kiss into his temple.
Now, everything is good. Dazai's job at the ADA does worry you sometimes, even if it's for the good, it's dangerous, but you know he loves his job, no matter how many jokes he makes about Fukuzawa's violation of the Labor Laws. And he loves you, that's all you've ever needed.
Being in a relationship with him is not always easy. He still speaks of dying, and the thought of him leaving you makes you panic. Sometimes, you still don't know what to do to make him feel better. But you manage to work through it.
You love Dazai, after all. You have ever since you two were kids.
106 notes · View notes
fairuzfan · 3 days
Note
Sad thing happen when Amy say not want vote for Biden not think good president, people say disable brain people shouldn't allowed to vote. And then say "care about disable people" but that Amy too stupid be allowed vote even though adult in America.
Also, sad and sorry that people on tumblr act like know palestinian tumblr people for real and act like friends and love and try and flirt with, that's gross mean jerk thing to do. Sometimes people act like Amy a friend on tumblr when not put in time to be friend for real and just act like Amy can be a weird pet and that can be why have secret blog only REAL friends can know about.
Amy have friend say once : "people act like Amy is from video game and can just pick right answer and Amy will be friend without choose for self." Think maybe people do that for Palestinians too because act like not real people.
I'm sorry Amy, that's terrible. I hope people in the future can be kinder to you. It's really harrowing how little people regard disabled people.
And it's ok, thank you for saying that. It makes sense you want people to befriend you sincerely. I feel the same way honestly, I'm more picky about my friends these days. What can we do except for find the people that love us for who we are? :)
71 notes · View notes