feels like we "broke the stigma of mental health" just enough for companies to monetize "self care"
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I’m so fucking tired of trying because no matter how hard I try it’s never good enough.
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Do you ever feel like you’re just convenient?
You’re the convenient friend, convenient time pass, convenient relationship, convenient option for everyone.
You’re the person people hang out with because you’re easy, and always eager because you’re always just so desperate to feel wanted and not alone, but really you’re just convenient.
You know you’re not special, and that your spot in their life will be easily replaced and that they’d much rather someone else in their company- but again you’re just convenient. You’re the convenient option. The always available option.
I’m the friend who has best friends but isn’t the best friend. I’m the convenient friend. I’m the lover who falls in love but never the one being loved. I’m just the convenient route.
Im the ‘never says no’ friend. The ‘easy to take advantage of’ friend. The ‘can you do me a favour?’ friend. I’m the ‘useful until no longer of use’ friend. I’m the ‘I want to do something but everyone else is busy’ friend.
I’m the butt of the joke friend. I’m the punching bag friend. The forgotten friend. The one who’s feelings aren’t considered because I’m the ‘she’ll get over it’ friend.
I’m just the easy and convenient friend.
And that’s my own fault, thinking always being available, always being easy and giving more of myself will finally one day deem me worthy in someone’s eyes. Spoiler alert - it doesn’t. I’m still never enough.
I’m the ‘smile through the pain’ friend because being this friend hurts.
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2023 NHL All-Star | February 4, 2023
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they should get to call each other pet names post-canon i think
you may be asking "why is he only freaking out about the pet name? what about the kiss?" well you see. it's part of their routine and he's deluded himself into thinking it doesn't mean anything <3 [ kim dok ja is an idi ot ]
this is inspired by an art challenge i saw for valentines - to show a character calling another one sweetheart. i'm extremely late for valentine's so i'm not officially participating or anything but. them calling each other sweetheart is sooooo good as a concept i had to see it through. so happy late valentine's day and, more importantly, happy late birthday kdj <3 get kissied idiot!!!!!
also i know this is mostly joongdok but i promise hsy wasn't an afterthought - i just couldn't put together more than one of these and i liked this one best. here are all the ideas i wrote down
anyway i'm really happy with this ^_^ i'm not sure if it's in character but it makes me smile :3 especially kdj's hair getting all ruffled..... hsy laughing at him like a hypocrite..... they're soooo silly. i do wish i could've included yjh's titty belt though </3
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if illumination really tries to make a loz movie I'm gonna turn into the biggest hater the world has ever seen
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i turn 29 on july 1st. i feel like i make a lot of these notes to myself, to check in. hi, me, here's what's happening.
hi, me. hi, you, too, if you keep reading. here's some rules i have been following:
when a book is bad, i put the book down. i choose something i like instead. when i don't like a movie, i don't make myself watch until the end. i care less and less what people think about me and focus more on being a good friend.
for the 6 months or so, i've been asking people what they think should be my next book or tv show. i ask them where i should go on a walk next week. i ask them what food i should try next, what hobby. and then i write it down in front of them.
the truth is some stuff slips through the cracks. but most of the time? within two weeks, i get to send my favorite kind of text - so i tried the thing you were talking about and !
i have a new policy for split-second choices - it's better to try it. i have social anxiety. i have to talk myself into doing many things. i am constantly battling the desire to run away as far as my feet will take me. and then i stand up and i do the thing anyway. i make myself act and dance and sing. sometimes, yes, i know-immediately never again, i hate this. but most of the time - i just have fun with it.
i have a new mantra - nobody is scorekeeping. at the end of my life, there will be no grand reading of how many calories i'd been eating. no reviews on how many boring documentaries i forced myself through, no calculation on how many hours i endured an extremely dull educational podcast. and so what if i try karaoke and i don't actually nail it? so what if i stumble over my words while trying to make a public announcement? so what if i wear something too-showy to go to the grocery store? nobody there knows me, and: nobody's keeping score.
life doesn't resolve with a grade (i know, i was as shocked as everyone else when i realized it). i am not falling behind, because there's no curriculum to life that i should be following. there are no checkpoints; nobody is making sure i have a fully-furnished life resume. i am just here for as long as the earth will have me, and i get to decide what makes me happy.
i don't have a partner or a house or anything that is supposed to belong to people-my-age. i spend most of my time focusing on being kind, compassionate, ready to listen without restraint.
and honestly? i feel good. like actually. i kind of like it this way.
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