#allo aro culture

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is watching the gory violent scenes but skipping the kissing/romance bits of tv shows

#aro culture is #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #submission #allo aro culture

[straighttohellbuddy]

thinking about Lovejoy describing themselves in three words as 'Aromantic British Noises'

thinking about Lovejoy describing themselves in three words as 'Aromantic British Noises'

thinking about how the idea of aromanticism isn't nearly as widespread as it is on Tumblr/various other corners of the internet

thinking about how most people would probably assume the use of Aromantic as a descriptor would imply a lack of any kind of love or romance or close interpersonal relationships in their music which is INHERENTLY NOT TRUE

thinking about Lovejoy choosing Aromantic specifically, confident enough in understanding the actual concept/culture of aromanticism to describe their entire band

thinking about the potential for there to be someone(s) in Lovejoy who is either on the Aromantic spectrum or has considered it as a possibility and has researched it to understand it (and maybe themselves) better

thinking about hard about Lovejoys songs and realising that despite a few having vaguely romantic or implied romantic connotations, you could absolutely do an aro-spec reading of their whole discography

thinking about Lovejoy becoming part of Aro Culture in my heart

thinking about being aro-spec myself, and how id consider the term 'lovejoy' to still very much be my vibe despite that.

thinking about self described Aromantic British Noises, Lovejoy.

thinking about Lovejoy.

💚💚🤍🩶🖤

#lovejoy #lvjy #joe goldsmith #mark boardman #ash kabosu #wilbur soot #joe lovejoy #mark lovejoy #ash lovejoy #wilbur lovejoy #aromantic #aromantic spectrum #aro #arospec #aro spec #aromantic culture #aro culture #shut ur pretty mouth #alloaro #allo aro #aromantic allosexual #aro allo #aroallo #aroace #aro ace #aromanitc #aro culture is

[aro-ace-culture-is]

Aroace culture is having their views on love and sex rechecked again and again and again and again.....until they settle on one. Being an aroace sure changes our views on love/sex, it's transformational and deep!....atleast in my experience *ahem*

Posted on Nov 5, 2023

#aroace #aro #asexual aromantic #ace #aspec #actually aromantic #aromanticism #aromantic #actually asexual #asexual #asexuality #questioning aroace #well any aspecs including allo allies #lgbtqia+ #queer #aroace culture is

[aromantic-nerd]

I’m gonna make something REAL CLEAR.

As an aro, I often preach that we need to be working together, (as the aspec community and as a society in general,) to dismantle the norms that say every person wants/needs a partner, that everyone needs to get married, and that those things are requirements for happiness. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, especially because these norms harm many different groups of people, not only aspecs.

What I’m really tired of, is allos automatically assuming that because I preach these things, that I hate marriage, romance and love, that I have a vendetta towards people who engage in those things, and that I want to make alloromantic people feel guilty for being alloromantic.

It’s another classic case of “it’s not about you, it’s about the systemic norms we all live with and experience in day-to-day life.”

I hold no hate or dislike towards anyone who is in a romantic relationship, married, or engaging in other romantic activities with a partner or partners. Really. I have two parents and many family members and friends that are happily married and in love.

That being said, I don’t want to engage in romance and I am not alloromantic, so these norms impact me in a profound way that’s sometimes hard to describe. I want to dismantle the norms because it will make my life and many other’s lives a lot easier. This does not mean, however, that I support the absolute collapse of the components of these norms.

If some people’s thoughts didn’t always jump straight to “this person’s views and opinions are attacking me and my lifestyle,” when engaging in conversations about amatonormativity and the norms that come with it, then they would recognize that most aromantic people actually support romance-favourability.

Know the difference between dismantling the systemic romantic norms and abolishing the entire system of romantic components and ideas which encompass said norms.

The former is an effective way to make many groups of people feel more comfortable and less alienated, and the latter is just as ineffective and discriminatory as pushing for romantic norms to be continued they are now. As aros, most of us just want to feel like we belong in a society that constantly reminds us that we don’t. It is not our goal to make allos feel guilty, or to radically change society’s ideals to fit an inherently romance-negative narrative.

We just want to dismantle amatonormativity in society, by changing the mindset and narrative to a way of thinking that does not discriminate between alloromantic and aromantic people. That’s all.

#aromantic #aromantic problems #aromantic culture #aromantic community #aromantic issues #fuck amatonormativity #dismantle amatonormativity #amatonormativity #alloromantics can be so defensive #i didn’t want to format this into an Instagram post to here we are #aro thoughts #aromantic thoughts #know the difference #cause it exists :) #allos pls stop making assumptions #Elle’s screaming rants #reblog reblog reblog

[volcanic42]

Y'know what sucks?

Slowly realising that your best friend is YOUR favourite person but you might not always be THEIR favourite person.

#aromantic #aro #i fucking hate how allo culture priorities romantic relationships over platonic one's #aro culture is #arospec #aromantism #aro pride #can't understand how some person can just replace me in under a week when we've know eachover for YEARS #vent

[aromantic-diaries]

I used to really love those jokes and memes that were like hinting at something romantic at first as if they were about someone's crush/partner and then revealed they were actually talking about food or some other fun thing and as you could guess I'm aroace now

#aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #aroace #arospec #acespec #aspec #ik allos make jokes like that too but 'you thought i was flirty or yearing for a person but i'm really just hungry' is aspec culture

[lemonycranberries]

you know... I was still being able to hold myself together. kind of. but not after this scene. oh no. that guy made this speech and the leaves started appearing as Isaac smiled and oh my god. and then crush culture started playing on the soundtrack. and then I started singing along. and when I realized I was crying. and laughing. and I had to go back a few minutes and rewatch this beautiful scene. the second time around I didn't even try. I actually just cried, laughed hysterically, put my hands on my face and cried some more as I screamed along to Crush Culture. I realized I was literally shaking. the feeling of being seen this much on a screen... it's something I had actually never experienced before. this means much more than just a scene on a TV show. this feels like the beginning of something. this feels like actual representation. the things I just felt right now are simply indiscribable.

#who knew screaming “CRUSH CULTURE MAKES ME WANT TO SPILL MY GUTS OUT” while watching a TV show could heal me internally so much. #won't even be able to talk to my allo friends about it... they have literally no idea what this means to me #now my face is kinda burning because I cried too much #who cares #not me #I feel euphoric #ofc this isn't the first time we see an aroace on television EVER #and Koisenu Futari will never ever stop being one of my favorite shows #but still #while watching this I felt. things. #because the meaning of this is so much bigger than simply aroace teens being able to see themselves on a TV show #which is already VERY important #it means being acknowledged in many different ways #it means a path for aspec rep is being carved #it means those feelings which have isolated me so much during my life can now be shared #it means everything. #heartstopper tv show #heartstopper s2 #isaac henderson #aro rep #ace rep #aroace rep #aspec rep #aromantic #aro #asexual #ace #heartstopper #v rambles #my posts

[hellowhereami]

Some prick: "No you can't be friends with the opposite gender!"

Me, an aroace: "...but why tho?"

#aroace #aro #ace #weird heteronormative allo culture idk

[aroace-cat-lady]

A couple of friends are talking on the group chat about how much they wish some fictional characters were real and that is better if your first kiss is with a girl and stuffs like that and im just there. Vibing and feeling my aroace ass in ways I haven't in years.

#like wtf #if my fictional crush were real they would be squishes #i dont want to kiss them i want to hug them and talk with them and protect them #aroace culture is #aroace #allos are a mistery to me #aro ace

[aro-culture-is]

Allo aro culture is getting called "shallow" when you say you just wanna have sex with a girl not have a relationship with her

(He still called me shallow even when I told him I was aro... amatanormativity smh)

.

#Anonymous #aro culture is #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod axel #allo aro culture #alloarophobia

[purple-mothman-majesty]

as an arospec person, I don't get super invested in ships or get that warm fuzzy feeling like others seem to get when seeing their otp do romantic things (although some arospecs do and that's valid). I always thought that when people get super excited and 'fangirl' over ships that maybe they were exaggerating, but then I saw that people spend so much time reading fanfics, making edits & fanart of their OTPs and realized that their hardcore passion for their OTP was genuine.(I'm not saying all allos are that obsessed with their otps btw)

I do have a few ships tho, and I always wondered, " why do I ship A+B but not C+D? I think C+D are cute together but I don't necessarily ship them..." That's when I realized I mostly ship people who are a bit more like friends and less romantic. People who tease each other, have good banter and are emotionally close in a way that could be read as platonic. That's why I like couples like Percy & Annabeth or Ella & Charmont rather than a spicy couple or a always mushy couple.

Now I'm trying to unlearn that romantic love isn't superior to platonic love, because that's the reason I used to sometimes "ship" people (who I didn't actually ship romantically) just because of the amatanormative idea that romance is the highest form of love and that being "just friends" isn't good enough. Which is a lie.

In reality, I just wanted them to be platonically intimate and affectionate and be partners for life. I thought that things like that were for romantic relationships only & I didn't know abt QORs at the time. Now I know that you don't have to feel romantic attraction to do things that are traditionally seen as romantic. I guess I ship people mostly in either a sort-of-romantic-sort-of-platonic way, an alterous way or just platonically– all of which are equally valid ways to love and are just as special as romantic love.💚🏹

#ship #aromantic #aro things #Aro culture is #Arospec #Ships #Qpr #Platonic ships #ships #Amatanormativity #Lgbtq #i wonder if sometimes allos only ship a certain couple because of amatanormativity and not cuz they actually ship them #my shenanigans

[python-nebula]

I don’t think allo people understand: you get everyone else. Almost every single fictional character is allo. Every character that exists is allo until proven aro/ace/aroace. So on that rare occasion when we actually get representation, and when it’s genuinely good representation, please just let us have it. Many allo people are respectful, and I thank them for that, but it’s impossible to ignore the massive problem in fandom culture of downplaying the importance of, or even downright erasing, an aro/ace/aroace characters’ identities. Aro characters are shipped all the time, which is fine if you understand the nuances of the identity and see that it is a complex thing to be aromantic, but I see a lot of people who don’t, and think that they can say ‘oh but aro people can date’ as an excuse to ship a character. This happens with ace characters too, they are sexualised in fandom all the time (I’m not talking about any characters specifically, but I’ll tag a few who come to mind). Again, this is understandable if you understand, but if you are sexualising an asexual character just because you find them hot or just for the sake of it, surely you understand why we are upset. This is not me trying to pick a fight, I’m just an aroace who is frustrated. 

You guys get everyone else. Just let us have the few who we see ourselves in. 

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aroallo #alloace #alastor #lilith the owl house #ca$h piggott #kusuo saiki #(let me know if I missed any characters) #python rambles about anything

[daybringersol]

as someone in the aro community (and i think this is also applicable to the ace community, which is why y’all are included), i think there is something to be said about people trying to find a moral explanation to their repulsion. in a some situations, it is helpful and there is a conversation to be had about it but in a lot of others, it’s just recycled purity culture, i’m going to be honest.

before you send a post about how you think it’s actually exhibitionist to kiss in public, or predatory to talk about people you want to sexually pursue with your friends, please ask yourself first if there is genuinely something wrong morally going on there, or if it’s just something that grosses you out. it’s completely okay if it’s something that grosses you out. you don’t need to make up a moral reason behind it. you can just say ‘it grosses me out’ and find a way to remove yourself from that situation, for exemple, by looking away, or asking your friends to not talk about those topics around you (if they refuse, that’s another problem entirely and you should get better friends).

it is as unhealthy for allo people to repress their romantic and/or sexual attraction than it is for us to repress our aromanticism and/or asexuality. this isn’t like an theoretical extrapolation, this is a proven phenomenon, we’ve seen it with the catholic church. i understand and empathize with the fact that it feels like all of this is forced upon us, because it is, but there is a difference between someone telling us ‘i like this’ and someone telling us ‘you’re weird/broken if you don’t like this’.

anyways, sorry for the rant, i keep seeing posts in the aro and/or ace tags that try to justify their repulsion with morality, and i don’t want to single out anyone so i thought i’d make this post. there is no issue with posting about repulsion itself, for the record, it’s the moral justification that i think is unhelpful.

you don’t need any justification for your repulsion, you can just be repulsed. that’s fine.

#aromantic spectrum #aromanitc #aromance #aro pride #aromaticism #aroace #acespec #ace pride #aceallo #aroallo #alloaro #alloace #asexuality #asexual spectrum #asexual #aromantic #romance repulsed #sex repulsed

[theartofangirling]

Please, talk to me more about Barbie being aroace.

not once, not a single time in 113 minutes of runtime, did Margot Robbie's Barbie show romantic or sexual interest in Ken—or anyone else, for that matter!

first of all, it's kind of amazing that there was no romantic storyline whatsoever for a female lead (especially one who's so often culturally thought of in a pair—Barbie and Ken) in one of the biggest movies of the year.

it also stands out because we see some of the other Barbies paired up with Kens, seemingly romantically, which implies that Barbies CAN be allo, but this particular Barbie isn't! she explicitly says that she's not interested in Ken that way!!

and obviously they never say the words "aromantic" or "asexual" in the film bc it's hollywood and most people don't really understand what that means anyway. but at least in my mind, a story doesn't have to have explicit representation in order for me to feel seen and validated by it. if nothing else, Barbie is an incredibly aroace-friendly story, not only because of its lack of romance, but because the main character doesn't want a relationship and is never questioned about this (other than by Ken, which the narrative resoundingly condemns), or told that she's supposed to or she should at least give it a try, or any number of the things that aro and ace people hear all the time.

anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk, and go watch Barbie (2023)

#barbie spoilers #barbie #asks #mp

[our-aroace-experience]

Aro ace culture is being confused at why allos seem to hate their partners so much.

yeah i don't get it at all when anyone says they don't ike their partner

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride

[anistarrose]

Respectfully: yes, of course being sex-positive is incredibly important, but you know what's equally important? Being sex-positive without being fucking aphobic. It's not a herculean task at all; I see aspec and allo people alike who are absolutely able to do both successfully. But it does require a bare minimum amount of critical thinking.

You can defend kink at pride without saying or implying that sex is what makes us human, or that sex is a requisite for the "true" queer experience. You can talk about the indescribable value of gay bars without accusing anyone who isn't interested in them of being either a prude, creepy and antisocial, or a "boring virgin." You can stop arguing that any given queer person or group of queer people you dislike (perhaps even within reason) would be more progressive and less reactionary if they had more sex (and yes, this is a real take I've had to see on this website).

You can, and urgently, should stop pretending that sex negativity as a cultural force is caused by ace people — instead of you know, caused by cultural conservativism and cultural Christianity. And on the flip side, you can stop with that thing where you act sex-positive until you see an aroallo person wanting to have sex without a romantic (closed, nuclear) relationship — and suddenly, throwing all sex positivity out the window as you decide that they're a freak and a manipulator and evil incarnate. (Yes, you need to be kinder to even the cisgender heterosexual aromantic men. That particular discourse encapsulates the feedback loop between arophobia and radfem-lite beliefs, by the way, which is another thing the queer community here is horrible at avoiding in its rhetoric.)

So: sex positivity includes aro-spec allosexuals, who need it for precisely the above reason — because alloromantics demonize them otherwise. And sex positivity includes ace-specs who need it just to talk about their experiences, without getting called inappropriate for merely acknowledging sex out loud, let alone their own relationship with sexual desire.

(Have you already forgotten one of the biggest aphobe talking points in 2016? That aces acknowledging their identity in any capacity were "oversharing," and making people "uncomfortable" — and god forbid you ever mentioned asexuality to a minor?)

At its core, sex positivity includes accepting people can have morally neutral relationships with sex that you wouldn't personally want — and maybe even ones that might make you uncomfortable. And so much of this website seems perfectly able to understand this — or at least, preach this — until the second an ace or aro person shows up.

You're not allowed to exclude us from this movement. You're not allowed to twist this movement's intent to put us down. Kill this new wave aphobia in 2023 or so help me. We're not letting this community do this again.

#aphobia #acephobia #arophobia #if this happens to get serious notes i'll turn reblogs off after a day or so #just want to make that clear that i stand by everything i say here - i just might have to take measures for my own sanity #this blog will return to normally scheduled programming soon #but this 2020s aphobia is legitimately reaching a breaking point. and i couldn't hold myself back from this post any longer