For all the friends who follow the dnd shenanigans get ready for a lot of screaming during/after tonight's session
It's gonna be a good and normal time
8 notes
·
View notes
This is all just for my book.
This is not the story line.
This is only the ideas and plotting of the general story to tie everything together with last-minute details and major issues that I didn't notice before.
I am so tired because of this.
Like please, I just want to start the first chapter already.
But no, something has to pop up and I need to write it down in order to incorporate it or make it work out or else I feel like the story has failed its true potential.
I am not doing mentally well with this book.
I am highly stressed.
Is it still worth the struggle of writing it?
No.
Am I still going to do it out of spite because my family doesn't like me writing things like this?
Absolutely.
I will always do something out of spite if it involves my family not liking what I do.
Reminds me of the time I bought a skull pencil holder specifically because my mother hated them and is a full on Christian.
I live to spite God at this point.
8 notes
·
View notes
Tis the vibes, but for Me come to understand can't expect a love or care from outside Myself. Alas no worries though, another lost post n words from someone more lost than all of em, shake it off someone needs you for somethin.
2 notes
·
View notes
Grieving a loss
My mom died last week.
It wasn’t a surprise. She had been in hospice for the last 8 months. But it was a surprise. She had been stable for last few months and then took a sudden turn for the worse.
With the slow goodbye of a chronic condition or hospice, when death finally comes you find yourself saying things like, “I’ve already grieved the loss.”
That’s true. We do grieve in advance. But it’s not the whole story.
As much as we might want it to be otherwise, you and I don’t get to do all of our grieving in advance. There’s some grieving that can only be done after death.
A therapist friend of mine asked me how I was grieving. I answered, “randomly.”
It was funny (humor is one of my coping strategies) but it was also nakedly honest.
Because I’m all over the place right now. Sometimes I think “I’m okay” (whatever that means). Sometimes I’m trying to do stuff, but I can tell that I’m off my game. And sometimes it really hits me.
I’ve been reading C.S. Lewis’ “A Grief Observed,” his account of grieving the loss of his wife. And I was starting to beat myself up because I wasn’t in the deep, gut-wrenching hole that he describes.
For me, it’s been more like a pinball machine. I’m bouncing around from “I’m okay” to “I’m off my game” to “it really hits me” in no particular order.
And then God gave it back to me. Something that I always tell people when I’m giving pastoral care (instead of receiving it) – that everyone grieves differently.
Which is why there’s no set program for this. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s classic stages of grief aren’t a checklist. If there are instructions for this, it’s more like the back of a shampoo bottle – lather, rinse, repeat.
Where’s God in all of this? Right where He always is, with me - in the thick of it, in the worst of it. No matter what I’m feeling.
Even when you and I can’t feel His presence, God is always right here with us. That’s just who God is.
The smartest thing that I have done in all of this is to let people know about the loss, and then to receive whatever they do or say in the spirit that it was given. Not worrying about what they said, what they did, or how it compares to anything else.
Just accepting that they are trying to respond to something for which there is no easy way to respond.
Honestly, as someone on the receiving end I can tell you that the important part isn’t what they say or do, it’s the fact that they say it or do it. That they care enough to try, to be there for you however they are able.
Because that’s the part that really matters. That’s what the ministry of presence is all about.
It’s not about saying or doing the right thing. And, Good Lord, it’s not about explaining anything. Just be there.
Kind of like my prayer life right now. Just being with God.
Not having to understand it. Not having to have anything figured out.
Just being with God. And unravelling. Feeling whatever I feel. Falling apart in the arms of the One who has always loved me. Trusting God through the tears.
With His blessed assurance, “that all will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of thing will be well.”
Today’s Readings
24 notes
·
View notes
oh no are you having a bad day????? i hope you feel better soon and know that you are loved and you are able!!! (that’s what my teacher always says at the end of her emails and i find it compelling)
a picture of my dog in her hat for your trouble<3
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love her so much!! She is so precious!!
Thank you (and your teacher) so much for your incredibly kind words! It means so much to me! <33
7 notes
·
View notes