I can’t believe I went through all of Season 2 assuming Nina was the stand-in for Crowley when you actually pay attention it’s so CLEAR that she’s Aziraphale. I was tricked by her spiky, sarcastic, cynical outer shell and lulled into a false sense of security by Maggie’s bubbly optimism and wholesome goodness, because on the surface they reflect the ineffable husbands perfectly, in their personalities, their aesthetics, even many of their actions and morals. but not, and this is the real key, when it comes to their “relationship”. but those first impressions really had me damn fooled.
I missed the blatantness of Nina’s “we’re just friends. actually we’re not friends. we barely know each other.” the same thing Aziraphale said in season 1. the way he still struggles to quantify their friendship when Nina asks. Nina’s sarcasm when Crowley asks about rain and awnings because it worked for him (we all know it LMAO). hell, that whole convo the girls have in the rain is so AziraCrow (“I know. I’m not your type” “...You have no idea” hits so much harder the second time, help meeeee.) “Lindsay” maybe being symbolic of Heaven and Aziraphale’s toxic relationship with them and their abuse? (the handwritten text messages in red pen make me think of angry notes on paperwork, anyone else?) because Crowley has never actually cared about what Hell thinks of him, just not getting into trouble (or him or Aziraphale getting hurt). Maggie is always chasing Nina. NINA NEVER GOES IN THE RECORD STORE. Just like Crowley always goes to the bookstore, to Aziraphale, Zira NEVER WENT TO THE FLAT (apart from The Swap but that doesn’t count imo). Crowley has always chased Zira, not the other way around. Always there to rescue him, always going to him for company, always relying on their shared connection, always US. OUR SIDE. All through season one, he comes to Zira every time to work together, never trying to work alongside Hell in any way that isn’t to save their skins or Earth, while Zira hides things from Crowley because he STILL thinks Heaven is ultimately good and will do the right thing if he can just show them. fix it from the inside.
Maggie working up the courage to finally say something, to put herself out there, while Nina is utterly oblivious and then when she does realise Maggie has feelings, becoming standoffish, putting up that barrier, fighting it, denying it, ITS SO CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT ORDER. the way I was fooled into thinking Nina’s trust issues are Crowley because he does have trust issues ofc he does BUT Crowley has ALWAYS TRUSTED AZIRAPHALE. has always relied on him. has always been hurt when Aziraphale doesn’t immediately reciprocate the way he expects (the holy water request, the bandstand, the “off in the stars” etc). he’s always the one putting himself forward. Aziraphale has always been the one to second guess everything, to fight their connection, their similarities, their friendship. the girls really made me think it was going to be okay when they sat Crowley down, even as my inner sirens were going haywire about Metatron interfering, they were telling Crowley he just needs to open up and it’ll all work out BUT HE’S ALREADY AT THAT POINT. he may not say it, and by gosh is that part of their damn problem, but he’s always SHOWN IT. he’s not Nina who needs time to heal and recover from her broken trust, he’s always been Maggie believing it doesn’t matter, they’ll end up together in the end anyway AND I WALKED RIGHT INTO THE TRAP THAT THIS MEANT THEY WERE GOING TO BE OKAYYYYYYYYYYY
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Ghost blobs lead someone to Danny
(There is a part 2 now)
Batman froze at the floating blob, nearly the same color of lauzus waters and glowed even brighter. It seemed to notice him and ziped over to him at an alarming speed. Batman tensed ready to strike. But the thing just hovered in front of him and humming? It sounded desperate and worried, despite sound completely inhuman. His lack of response on seemed to increase the noise it made now make odd movements in one direction.
Before he could blink suddenly he was swarmed with the things. Some started pushing at his back and face. Others grabbed at his cape and tried tugging him forward. All of them humming the same desperate tune. Against his better judgement, a feeling in his chest told him to follow. "Alright" He whispered to the odd blobs. "Lead the way." Several bolted away as he chased behind them. A few stayed with him flying next to him or tucked into his cape.
He followed them over buildings until they reached a warehouse district. He was lead to an area designated for demolition. Finally the blobs float to the ground stoping at a warehouse with a door left ajar.
When Batman pushed the doors open he saw nothing, he stood still for a moment. He nearly thought it was a trap. Before the familiar gentle push urged him on. The ones leading him before flew behind a pile of trash and just barely he could see a faint glow behind it.
When Batman walked behind the trash pile, he froze. A dozen more blobs were there all crowding around a dimly glowing child. The white haired child was curled up and seemed to be bleeding lauzrus green. Batman rushed over and grabbed the child's wrist to feel for a pulse. His heart lurched when he found one, and it lurched again when the boy moved. He whimpered and weakly tried pulling away.
He sprang into action and pulled the boy to himself. He grabbed his bandages and gently uncurled the boy to see his wounds. He froze again at the Y-shaped cut on his chest and the countless other cuts left on him. "Please- please stop." Batman snapped back to when the boy spoke. "It's alright, you're safe now." He said softly, he wrapped the boy up as best he could. "What's your name?" He asked as he gently picked the boy up.
The boy was humming like the blobs he realized, it was far weaker like a buzzing in his hands. "Danny" The boy replied, Batman nearly didn't hear him. "I'll keep you safe Danny, I promise." At that Danny seemed to relax and melt into him. Batman called the Batmobile.
The blobs followed them outside a few seemed to fly away before coming back. Like they were patrolling the area. Others were comforting Danny, rubbing up against him or humming a different sound possibly to reassure him. "What are they?" Batman asks, hoping to get some information before the boy could pass out. "Blob ghosts." He muttered.
"Ghosts?"
"It's what I am, but I'm really bad at it" Danny mumbled the last part to himself but Batman caught it. A ghost entity? It would explain the lack of a pulse and even the wounds. A ghost haunted with his own autoposy scars. Before he could ask more the bat mobile stopped in front of them.
Batman hopped inside and gently place Danny in the passenger seat, buckling him in. The blob ghosts followed tucking into the back in a quick flurry. And like that Batman set off. He called Alfred. "Alfred, prepare the medbay. I have a severely injured unknown."
"Right away"
Batman barely managed to keep the boy awake all the way to the Batcave. Batman tries to ignore Alfred's shocked face as he sees Danny and the swarm of blob ghosts that follow them. "You didn't say they were this unknown."
"Danny says that they are 'blob ghosts' and claims he is a ghost as well. But that he is bad at it some how." Batman explained as they rushed to the medbay. When Batman set the boy down a white ring of light appeared around the boy it split and passed over him. They were left with a very human looking boy who was now bleeding red, mixing in with the green.
He and Alfred shared a look of shock. Before having to push the feeling away to help the boy.
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What if instead of waking up in the mushroom body, sqq woke up in a doll.
Something something while lbh was away in the abyss, sqq without noticing offended a misterious (demonic-succubi-esque???) cultivator with a weird thing for making dolls. She had dolls all over her secret workshop that she very kindly let him into when she heard about the famous Xiu Ya sword being in the city.
What she wanted of him? Who knows, sqq couldn't bring himself to care. She probably wanted his money or try to steal his hair, the hair of those dolls seemed very much like real hair, although he had to admit the level of details on these dolls were amazing.
(she wanted to trick him into buying one of her cursed dolls and steal his life energy little by little, but got wifebeamed by widow sqq during their conversation about how talented she was to be able to make so many dolls, and without really understanding he rejected her with little to no emotion on his face)
So she cursed him, and since sqq didn't feel anything bad at the moment he thought it just didn't work and left, not sparing the curse a single thought after their encounter.
The rest of the story goes as usual, excep that after he self detonates his soul doesn't go into the mushroom body, instead it got directly into the shape of a doll in the workshop of this woman.
His first thought is thinking someone snitched the mushroom body bc wtf wasn't he supposed to wake up under the dirt??? Why this place smells slightly familiar? Like paint and humidity and floral perfumes?? and why everything looks fucking giganourmus?!?! A teapot should NOT look that big from his position....Oh no, did the mushroom body turned out as small as a squirrel? WhAT is happening?!
And then he looks at his arms and legs, and he has joints. White paper skin with joints in his wrists, elbows, torso, waist, knees, feet. And he panics, a lot.
The woman who cursed him starts monologuing about how she trapped him now, and you are mine, I made this doll specially for you master shen, this is my revenge for your insolence to leave me yada yada- Sqq stoped listening a while ago.
Somehow he manages to escape from this woman and now he is roaming around as the size of some apples. Everything is huge. Everything is dangerous, even the grasshopers! And this body is fragile! He can't feel heat nor cold, neither hunger or other things, but he is useless with no spiritual veins inside, and if someone is not looking carefully, they might crush him. And the way back to cq is gonna be a hell of a trip! But he needs airplane to fix this. He can't stay as a doll forever! He needs a mushroom body and then fly into the sunset far from this mess! Adiós! Goodbye! So his new plan is to infiltrate into cang qiong, look for that rat and disappear. Sneaking into some disciple's pouch must be enough to break in.
Something something it only had passed a few months since lbh stole sqq's body and everything is still very fresh. CQ mountain is a hot mess. Sqh frankly needs to lay down and take a nap. Lqg keeps figthing with Lbh practially every day and coming back beaten bloody, he has his king pestering him and a lot of paperwork to do, Lbh is a pain in the ass, Yqy is really close to snap and start a war with HHP, and he knows nothing about his bro. So yeah. Such a great time to be alive.
The mushroom bodies should had been ready, right? He must be alright...Yeah. He has enough already to keep him busy. Cucumber bro is gonna come out and stumble across at any moment. No one would bat an eye if he takes a nap, right? He deserves it. He is overworked enough for another lifetime, his head hurts, his bones hurt everywhere, a short nap should be fine...
Until he feels something small tugging his robes and a cold tiny finger poking his eyelids. But he doesn't want to. He is very comfortable on the floor of his office. Whatever bird decided to pick a fight with his face can keep trying.
"AIRPLANE, WAKE UP, YOU HACK! I NEED YOU TO FIX THIS! WHY IS A WITCH WITH ANACHRONISTIC HAUNTED DOLLS IN THIS NOVEL? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
That voice. That fucking annoying voice was of just one person and one person only. He opened his eyes, looking for the source of the unmistakable voice of his No1 hater, but he came across with a pretty porcelain doll. With a very ugly sneer in it's face.
"W-Wha-?...Bro-?!"
"Fucking finally! Why are you sleeping on the floor in your ofice?! I was looking around your bedroom like an idiot! Do you know how close I was to falling from your window?!"
-TBC-
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SVT PU - Orange Peel Theory // Drabble
orange peel theory is making it's rounds on local tiktok and twitter. this is my humorous take on how the PERFORMANCE UNIT discuss/deal with the orange peel theory with their significant others.
[hhu] [vu]
SOONYOUNG
he was in the middle of call when y/n had taken a seat next to him on their couch, a snack in hand.
"yeah, i think i can come in and record today." soonyoung motioned for her to hand over the fruit, nestling his phone between his ear and shoulder – freeing his hands.
she shook her head, not wanting to interrupt him, but he was persistent – taking the orange from her.
"no it's okay, i'll be there in thirty." he continued, peeling the citrus. "let me just get dress– i can pick him up on the way too."
without breaking the conversation, soonyoung had managed to completely peel her snack of choice; handing it back once he had finished.
y/n mouthed a thank you to him, earning a wink in return.
"okay, see you later. bye." soonyoung ended the call, turning to her with his mouth open. "ah."
"get your own!" she shook her head with giggle.
pouting, soonyoung leaned closer. "i need energy for when i record."
y/n rolled her eyes at his antics, knowing that he was simply being dramatic – popping a slice into his mouth. "you passed by the way."
"passed?" he chewed.
"orange peel theory. if that's what you were trying to do."
"like a class?"
he had no idea what she was talking about; peeling the orange simply because he wanted to.
"nevermind."
JUNHUI
"baby!" he called out from the kitchen, causing y/n to run in – afraid of what he could have possibly done.
he had insisted on preparing their lunch today, despite it being his first and only day off in months. jun had always been better in the cooking department of their relationship than she was; not bothering to fight him when he had told her that he was completely fine with preparing their meal.
"what happened? are your fingers in tact? are you–"
"look!" jun pointed to the fruit he had peeled.
correction, plated professionally
her boyfriend enjoyed random artistic hobbies, not batting an eye whenever he chose pick a new one up.
even if it was.... fruit peel art.
"you made a flower out of an orange peel?" y/n raised her brows.
"cute right?" he chuckled.
"i thought you were making lunch."
"i am, this is your snack while i cook." he handed her the plate of oranges with a flower peel as garnish. "orange peel theory, baby."
"it's hypothe–"
"sh... eat the orange." jun shook his head, ushering her out of the kitchen.
MINGHAO
"babe, would you peel an orange for me?"
minghao was in the middle of chopping vegetables for their dinner when y/n had entered the kitchen, a playful smile on her face. "is this a sexua–"
"wha- no!" she laughed, walking over to him to show him the tiktok that had been playing on her phone – it was creator attempting to test her boyfriend with the orange peel theory.
she had no doubt he would do anything for her; he'd bring down the stars for her without having asked.
his mother had raised him well.
"hm..." he nodded as the video looped back to the beginning, walking over to grab one of the oranges in their fruit bowl. "isn't it crazy that such a small act can predict how someone will treat you and your relationship."
she watched as he peeled the citrus without tearing the outer in pieces – going in a spiral.
"it's such a small act that shows that your significant other is willing to do anything, no matter how small." he went on. "making their partner's life that much easier."
leave it to minghao to analyze a fifteen second video, instantly knowing the meaning behind the current social media trend.
he split the fruit in half, feeding her a slice. "yummy?"
"yummy." she chewed, a smile on her face.
"i know you were just joking, but for the record," minghao tucked a strand behind her ear, placing a kiss on her cheek. "i'd peel a strawberry, if it means you'd never have to lift a finger."
"i know." she hummed.
CHAN
in a world full of boys, he was a gentleman. or whatever the hell taylor swift said.
despite being the youngest in his group, chan was the eldest in his family and doting on her came naturally – especially since she was the youngest in hers.
she was used to the princess treatment from her own family and chan had no problem continuing that treatment.
y/n knew he would do anything for her... but she wanted him to know she would do the same.
even if he rarely allowed her to.
"fuck." y/n hissed as her fingers slipped yet again in her attempts to peel an orange for her boyfriend.
"you okay?" his voice startling her, causing her to jump.
"yeah just trying to pee– no!" she cried as he took the fruit from her.
"i'll do it." he continued where she had left off, using his body to shield the citrus away from her hands.
"give it."
"you just got your nails done." chan chuckled, turning around once he was finished. "those gems on your nails are going to get lodged in this and you'll end up choking or something."
"ha ha not funny." she rolled her eyes. "it's for you, dummy."
"i dont want it."
"yeah well, orange peel theory." y/n grumbled.
chan threw his head back and laughed. he had heard about the theory from seungkwan and didn't care for it, knowing that no matter how many relationship theories came about, he and y/n were secure in their relationship. though, that didn't stop him from finding her attempts to prove the theory right funny. "you failed then?"
"because of you!"
@thegirlwhoimagined @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @f4iryjjosh @akeminy @yonabutnotyuna @tacosandbitch @vanillacheol @aaniag @bettybotterboughtabitofbutter @xbaekcult @alwaysalmostthere @ashkuuuu @morkswatermelonnnn @isabellah29 @lottogyu @bubbly-moon @lllucere @bo-fairykim @bubbly-moon @pluviophile-xxx @daegutowns @jenoxygen @niktwazny303
(for some reason it's not allowing me to tag some who wanted to be added to the perm tag list ... cries... pls check ur settings so i can for future posts)
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