#all of these match with books that I've read

[flowersandbigteeth]

Question around the Roth Mothman story/universe…

Would it ever be possible that genuine romance blooms at Roth’s club between the monster men and human women?

I know that it’s a exclusive fetish club, but I wonder if some monster men go who otherwise can’t have a normal relationship with a human woman, due to something like species’ societal expectations/discriminations. (Like in the Unicorn story, with some families wanting pure-bred lineage, with no humans or other monsters in the mix). Or maybe, some monster men go to the fetish club cause they’ve faced a lot of rejection when trying to date human women normally (on dating apps and stuff), so going to a place where women won’t reject them is better grounds for relationship prospects.

Obviously, one should never expect to find more than what they’ve come for. And it’s shitty to expect a genuine relationship to form with an employee, as they’re working on the clock. But I still wonder if this’d be possible to happen, or if this establishment has a strict no strings attached policy?

If romance did ever bloom between some of the monsters and women, it’d be cute to see Roth and reader set up a match maker business. It’d be a great business venture since Mothmen have great ideals of love.

If you did decide to continue the story, maybe this time reader is one of the women working at the club, and is matched with a new x monster man (with Roth working a bit behind the scenes)?

This is a really interesting concept. Some spicy discussion below the cut

The first thing I thought of would be that it could make a really interesting polyam romance if the girl in question is juggling a lot of different partners...There's an illustrator who does or used to do? a sort of monster bathhouse comic that comes to mind where the main gal Ollie has a unique relationship with all of her different customers and I LOVED that: https://twitter.com/sframboob

Idk if they are doing that meta anymore, but I'm pretty sure that's the right artist. You have to go way back in the medias to find the original comics.

I think a matchmaker business is an adorable idea, though <3 I could see that as a separate business for Roth and the reader because some monsters come to the club hoping for something or they are awkward and don't really dig the vibe...like they are close to what they want, but not quite there since they want something meaningful and idk, maybe while they are leaned over the bar having a pity party, the bartender slides a card across the counter to them for the service.

Generally, I've read some romance books where the sex worker heroine falls in love and gives up her work for the guy, but personally, I don't love that. I feel like if a romance does develop, the monster should accept her for who she is and gas her up.

I think it would be cute if he went shopping with her for lingerie or heels for her job, maybe helped her with her makeup or photoshoot, or even did a sexy roleplay where he pretends to be a customer and they get to experiment with maybe an unusual sexy game that they wouldn't normally do. Or maybe even something simple, like he likes to pick her up to make she gets home safe because she gets out of work at crazy hours

Even spicier if it is another employee, like the bartender, who is always winking at her from across the room because he gets to watch his hot girlfriend splayed out in different situations all night but takes her home to rub her feet and cuddle after closing. Also, that there are things that she does for work that she doesn't mind doing or even enjoys, but there stuff at home that only he can do for her, even if it's something innocuous, like he knows exactly how to touch her because it's about her, not her client.

The more I'm writing about this the more I like, I might just open up a new doc for this one ^_^

#monster romance #sweet asks #sweet anons

[ac3-76]

Lloyd Garmadon Headcannons

warnings: none😋

General

He's been doing graffiti since he was 9

he started when he saw a guy doing it while Darklys was on a field trip in Ninjago City

he thought it was really cool and left the group to talk to the guy

His Tag is either Neon Dragon or Neon Echo

He decided it had to have Neon in it because he uses neon in all of his works

People speculate that he's Neon Dragon/Echo but it's not confirmed, not even the other ninja know

He has a graffiti account on Instagram that has 37.8 million followers and is verified

He also really good at painting and sketching

He's just good at art in general

He watches personal attention ASMR to fall asleep

He's good at sewing

He pretty much never posts on his socials, but when he does they get more likes and views than the other ninjas posts

he's the quote "short guys have the prettiest faces and the sassiest attitudes"

he's so sassy

when the Ninjas do interviews people always talk about his sass attacks

there are compilations of him being sassy on tiktok, Instagram reels, and YouTube

Kai's the fan favorite for his looks and how often he posts, but lloyd is the fan favorite for personality and level of cuntiness

Literally everyone in Ninjago loves Lloyd(except the badguys but yk)

Out of all the ninjas he has the 2nd biggest arms(Cole has the biggest)

Girls go crazy for his arms

He's so respectful towards women

He can start a conversation with anyone about anything

He is SO SO SO good with kids

A mom of 2 will be taking the bus home from somewhere, her youngest kid is a couple months old and her oldest is 4 years old

The older ones throwing a tantrum and the youngest is crying and the moms stressed and embarrassed bc this is happening in public and she can't get her kids to calm down

Enter Lloyd "do you want some help?" Garmadon to offer his services

the mom gives him her oldest and in a matter of seconds the kid is happy and smiling

he's not even sure what he did to get the kid so happy

THEN, bc one is never enough🙄, "I can help calm that you down too if you want"

So the mom gives him the newborn and again in a couple seconds the newborn isn't crying

kids just love him🤷‍♀️

He has really unique insults

"your personality is like a wet napkin at a party"

"your fashion sense if like a blindfolded toddler picking out clothes"

"Your ideas are so dull, they make beige look vibrant"

"Your sense of humor is drier than a desert in a drought"

"You're as useful as a screen door in a submarine"

and you best bet they all make it into the Lloyd Garmadon sassy compilations

He has FAST comebacks, he never misses a beat with an insult

Dating

He does a HARD launch

people will be chilling thinking he's single and then one day BAM

he posts something on Instagram announcing he's in a relationship

its 10 pictures of you, him giving you flowers, you guys kissing, you guys cuddling

it's like if you searched relationship goals on Pinterest

and the caption is something like "Happy 1 year babe🫶🫶 I can't imagine my life without you"

everyone in the comments is shocked that he kept your relationship secret for a year

Except the ninjas

who are commenting things about being happy he's finally announced it

I know for a fact Kai would commet "I'm glad you finally announced this, I have hundreds of pictures of you two I've been needing to post🙄"

You're his muse

He does graffiti pieces inspired by you

He also tells you he's Neon Dragon/Echo

He tries to teach you how to do graffiti

He's the type to read and annotate books you like

Collarbone kisser

Helps you figure out fits

MATCHING OUTFITS.

He would embroider a little heart in your favorite color, or your favorite flower into the cuffs of all his hoodies

He doesn't care if you're taller or shorter than him, just don't be the same height as him and ur good

After what happend with Harumi he would struggle to believe you actually like him for a while

Even after you prove you really do like him, he still struggles to express how he feels about you and be completely honest with you

Secret or forbidden relationship trope

he fell first and harder

also soulmate trope

he pays attention to everything you do and knows ur needs, wants, and actions before you do

(yk when Elenor anticipated Chidis sneeze in The Good Place, yea he's Elenor, you're Chidi)

"No I have a partner" instead of "Sorry, I have a partner"

he has awful abandonment issues so he's either really clingy or he pushes you away and doesn't talk to you

He doesn't do sass attacks or insult you(to often)

Kai will be recording a vlog to post to YouTube and you'll say something stupid, Lloyd will look at you like he wants to insult you but be doesn't

The fans see that clip and go crazy

"Lloyd holding back his insult is how you know he's in love"

The ship edits go HARD

#ninjago headcanons #lloyd garmadon #ninjago lloyd #ninjago #lloyd is a graffiti artist

[crengarrion]

few things are as touching as the appreciation hardworking, heartfelt, passionate, dedicated young people express when you support them. sometimes this appreciation is shown by those young people sending you unedited footage of their professional wrestling ambulance matches and it fucking rules.

#[ whispers ] #mango brought to my attention a ugandan pro wrestling promotion fundraising for their first wrestling ring and i decided to reach out #to them because i made a post raising awareness on my wrestling sideblog. they asked me to record a video saying hello to a young lady #wrestler of theirs i said i'm a fan of. so she can record a video saying hello back to me! and then sent me exclusive footage of a match! #i cannot stress this enough: reach out to dreamers. reach out to the people making their dreams reality. to artists and musicians and #writers and people blogging about their cultures' food and their daily lived experiences and dedicating their lives to community outreach #and harm reduction and activism and rescuing animals and raising awareness. tell the people making what you love that you love it and #admire their hard work. thank the person bagging your groceries and driving your bus with a big smile. tell the makeup artist standing with #palestine openly what that means to you. one of my favourite authors is on tumblr and i'm reaching out to her after i read her new book that #just published. one of my friends became a well known poet in pakistan because a group of us all sent CDs of our spoken word poetry to each #other and made all of our friends listen. i'm friends with youtubers because i've been vocally supporting their videos since pre-YT or early #into their channels and have met up with some of them to hang out and talk shop. don't just cheer people on silently! let them know! #long post #sorry. overcome by my simple love for humanity in the midst of unfathomably dark times. it will happen again

[brokenbackmountain]

spotify vibechecking me as a resident of the EXACT city i live in was not in my 2023 bingo card i think .

#“wow! your taste matches that of people in [redacted city] in india!” bhai you'll never guess where i've been living for the past 5+ years #THE WAY ALL MY FRIENDS GOT FUCKASS TOWN IN USA AND I GOT READ LIKE A PICTURE BOOK... INSANE #spotify wrapped

[sysig]

It always seems like such a good idea in the moment (Patreon)

The first four are in reference to a great idea I had of - since I’ve finished my lower-limit page number testing for making books; shorter fics take up less page space, and just increasing the font size isn’t as handsome! - simply making a mini book! All it would take would be to halve the pages again, right? Just cut them right down the middle! Easy peasy!

As I’m sure you can tell by the second, no. Not easy peasy. Difficult painful un-fun >:(

Obviously I still did it tho! What do you take me for, someone who could have the idea of an even tinier book and then not do something about it?? No It’s also the only one so far to have a paper bookmark rather than a ribbon!

All told it’s a bit smaller than your average manga (I love the monochrome covers on these under their dust jackets haha <3) - you can see even with effectively doubling up the pages by halving their size, it was still very small-spined!

A quick shot while it was still being made hehe ♪ It’s Out! Paired here - and the earlier one, just without its dust jacket haha - with my Zarla SC2 collection (ft. Family, Negotiations are Going...Well, and With No Obligation) - I absolutely kicked myself after the fact for not including Out as the run-up to everything, I was really trying to make a full collection in probably-chronological order! Out would’ve been a perfect start! And it only would’ve taken like four pages!!

Ah well, it was still quite a learning experience - I probably wouldn’t make another standalone of under 4k-ish just for formatting reasons but I did get some good ideas of how to do so if I wanted to! Although, my next project is going to be even more of a formatting nightmare........I’ll get there when I get there! Lol

#Doodles #The impulsive thoughts are always the funnest! But then it's all a matter of actually putting them into reality... #Ahh well like I said under the cut it was a learning experience! And I really wanted a physical copy of Out haha ♪ #I don't think I've ever mentioned it - not even in my pre-fic notes :0 - but Out was another one of my inspirations for Drinking Game #I mean - the drinking lol obviously but I hadn't considered what VUX drinking would be like before reading it :) #I wanted to pair it with both physical copies hehe ♫ I'm happy I attempted it! And I have a better foundation to build on in the future! #I ended up using the scrap leftover from making such a small cover as the bookmark haha - and I picked the covers so they'd almost-match :) #They go together! But not quite! Just enough! #The sting of creation has worn off - it's actually been a while since I've made a quick book! - so the itch is starting to come back haha #Well - almost lol - the formatting is still........but I do want to do it! Especially now that I've got a hand-in-hand hobby to go with it #All that later ♪ For now snakes! #And also spiders I am also the same when spiders #I've been escorting a lot of spiders outside lately and pretty much all of them fall under the moniker of ''darling'' to me lol #Still no luck on finding a jumping spider :( But I also haven't got an enclosure set up yet either #There's this one booth that always has such adorable and pretty jumping spider enclosures ahhh I might have to break and get one someday #Same place where I got to hold the snake in fact! :D She was a love <3 Beautiful full-grown female cornsnake if memory serves #She was rather wiggly - she was tired and fussy and didn't feel like being handled by a stranger but she was so polite about it #A real delight to handle <3 And I got to see her babies! So cute and tiny! #The rest is more SCII fic stuff haha ♪ Rereading the Pirate fic was a lot of fun :) Intentionally avoiding Vargas fic(s) does make me a bit #Well I really like Vargas still lol it is candy to my brain so any gesture even remotely in that direction is very exciting haha #I'm perfectly happy with the rest for now tho! I have plenty of things to read and make! >:3c #Heck there's still a SCII fic I haven't read yet that I want to!! I just have to get all my previous SCII thoughts out of my head first haha #I will tho >:3c Always always ♪♫ #SCII

[procrastinationaccount]

I'm going to lose my fucking mind

#For context: I was going to make a post complaining about how lesbians don't have enough good musical theater duets #(like we have the love songs from 'The Color Purple' which're alright but doesn't match the passion or desperation present in the book imo #'Changing My Major' which is a great love song but doesn't hit that sweet duet spot #'Dance With You' and the last verse of 'You Happened' from The Prom are sweet but the girls barely get to actually sing about each other #Honestly 'Oh Well' from Love In Hate Nation comes closest to what I want but it ends on a bittersweet note unless you see the show live #If only Elphaba and Glinda were canon... #But anyway. I can't believe that there's an adaptation of The Color Purple coming in the year of our lord 2023 and this is #how they're talking about Shug Avery. Her *role model*. Lock up your *husbands*. Ick. Pfaff. #I mean they're going to be gay. You can't get around that. But Shug is the love of her life. Can we please talk about that in the character #Don't mind me I'm just over here overreacting #From what I've read one of the biggest adaptational changes in the musical is her reaction to Shug's affair. #Like in the book Shug is the one light in her life. I sobbed myself to sleep over her nosedive in self-worth when they took a break #In the musical she's just...fine with it? I get why that's more satisfying emotionally but I still think it undermines their relationship #I don't get the curse thing either. I'm a little fuzzier on this part but in the book doesn't she just leave him and she's able to thrive? #Then when he asks her to get back together she's able to just know that the worst with Shug or alone is better than the best with him? #This book man. I hate that there isn't an adaptation as devoted to the Celie/Shug relationship as the book is. #Hate that the only recommendation I've seen calling it a sapphic book was from someone who thought that Celie's letters were to her lover #I remember watching this steamy adaptation of a Shakespeare play in soph Eng and seething because they only kiss once in the 1985 movie #Ig I can't expect too much from 1985 but...it was in the book! It was one of the most important parts! They don't even live together in it! #This was all to say I wast a lesbian 'Green Green Dress' a lesbian 'Home' a lesbian 'Natasha & Anatole' a lesbian Legally Blonde finale #The list goes on #I'm sure The Color Purple (2023) will be a good adaptation and movie. I will not pop blood vessels while watching it. #Maybe I should just avoid press releases and the movie will surprise me in a good way.

[creative-hanyou-girl]

My PJO Story: 10+ Years in the Making

It's so crazy to think that we are less than 2 days away from the Percy Jackson premiere. I've been waiting for this series for 2 years from the second I heard about it. If I'm being honest, it was only some months ago that I actually finished the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series for the 1st time before moving on to HOO. Yet, even before then, I've been reading The Lightning Thief book over and over again since I was 11 or 12.

When I was younger, it was the movies (ugh, I know) that convinced me to read the Percy Jackson books. I had already seen them around school in the library and around my peers, but I personally felt no urge to pick the books up myself. I was DEEP in my Warrior Cats obsession at that point and believed no other book series could top it for me. But then we watched the Peter Johnson movies in class, and I'll be honest, I ended up really liking them. I know, I know. They are awful adaptations and still not the greatest stand-alone movies either, but I enjoyed them at that age since I hadn't read the books and knew Jack-shit about real Greek mythology at the time. And even now, while I'm no longer blind to how bad those movies are, there are still a few visuals from the 1st movie that still stand out in my mind to this day, like Percy's water trident.

But the greatest thing the movies did for me, and the reason I have to give them the obligatory 1 ⭐star, is that they finally convinced me to pick up The Lightning Thief and give this series, that was all the rage amongst my friends and peers, a chance. My mom got me the entire boxset for Christmas that year, and I got to reading. And I fell in love! I was blown away by the humor and fun I had reading The Lightning Thief. And it felt amazing to see a main character have a disability and use it as their superpower. I don't have ADHD or dyslexia, but I did have a stroke as a baby which affected me physically AND mentally, so in some ways, I could still relate to what Percy and other characters in the book were going through, at least a little bit.

Once I finished TLT, I was eager to start on The Sea of Monsters, and I even started reading into that book, too. But in a bizarre twist, the 2nd book disappeared one day from my nightstand. I looked EVERYWHERE for it, but I never found my copy of the 2nd book. I was so upset and embarrassed that I lost it, and I was worried to tell my parents for fear they'd think I was irresponsible for losing a book, so I just....didn't. And because I was convinced that I could still find my personal copy of the Sea of Monsters, I refused to check out a copy from my school library. And so because of my embarrassment and stubbornness, I would not continue the rest of the PJO series for years to come.

But that didn't stop me from rereading The Lighting Thief periodically throughout my teenage years going into adulthood. I read it for enjoyment, to refresh myself on the story and what happens in it, and especially when we'd go on vacation to the beach since, you know, it's the perfect summer beach read. This is just my opinion, but while TLT did set up groundwork for SOM, it could also be read as a stand-alone book, too. And for years, that's how I treated The Lighting Thief. I always planned on buying a new copy of The Sea of Monsters as well, but stuff would happen and I just wouldn't get it for one reason or another. And to be honest, I think part of it was a sentimentality thing with me. I was so sentimental about The Lightning Thief since it was the only book from PJO that I read fully, that part of me was worried about the other books overshadowing it.

So for years, that's how it went. Until, in late 2021, I found out that Percy Jackson was being made into a TV show. And my mind was blown; I DID NOT expect a book series that was close to 15 years old and after 2 failed movies to get a TV show made after it. In fact, I thought it was a joke at first or that there were people trolling the series on the internet. But then when I looked more into it, and especially when I saw that the author, Rick Riordan himself, was heavily involved in the project, the reality of this news finally started to sink in.

And I was ecstatic!

But it also gave me the reminder that I had yet to read the rest of the series past The Lightning Thief, and I wanted to go into the TV show having read the books beforehand. And so, after literal years of not telling them, and because it was right around Christmas and my mom was practically begging me to tell her what I wanted that year (I usually don't want much for Christmas), I told her I wanted Percy Jackson: The Sea of Monsters for Christmas that year.

And I finally got it.

But because life happens, I wasn't able to actually start my planned binge reading of the Percy Jackson series until this past spring going into summer of this year, 2023. But once I had a free couple days to spare, I finally sat down and read the entire Percy Jackson and the Olympians series for the 1st time, starting with exactly the same old copy of The Lightning Thief I've had and loved since the age of 11 or 12.

And it was AMAZING!

This series truly is something else, and it's no wonder its maintained its popularity throughout the years. Its funny, sweet, action-packed, crazy, and just all around fun to read with lovable characters. It's one of my absolute favorite book series of all time and I'm so excited about the show dropping in less than 2 days now.

But it's the fact that we will be seeing the 1st book specifically, The Lighting Thief, come to life lovingly and faithfully first, that has me the most excited. For so long, this was the 1 book in the series that I read. It was the 1 book in the series that always stayed with me when I couldn't continue reading past it. It was the book that introduced me, and many others, to all these amazing characters and the world of Gods and Goddesses.

So while it is true that the later books in PJO are objectively better, it will always be The Lighting Thief specifically that will always have a special place in my heart. And I am thrilled that this first book of Percy Jackson (and hopefully the later books) is FINALLY getting the adaptation it deserves, and that I'll get to revisit the 1 book that has been with me since childhood in a new light!

Long Live Percy Jackson!

(Also yes, I made that bookmark)

#now on to rereading TLT tonight and tomorrow so the plot is fresh in my mind once again!!!! #this book means so much to me #the whole means so much to me but especially this 1st book #also can you tell that this copy of TLT is old? #I wasn't kidding when I said I still have the same old copy of TLT I got when I was 11/12 #I've given it lots of love. but I think its still in good condition all things considered #the other books from the same set as this TLT copy are not nearly this worn down. #that's what happens when you don't read or even touch the other books for over a decade bc you lost the 2nd book #they're be worn down in time now that I've got the SOM don't worry #I actually also have hardcover versions of the PJO series coming in a few days for when my paperback set gets too old and worn down #and they have the OG 1st edition covers too since I love those covers #reminds me of old style fantasy book covers that had that grainy but mysterious water color painting-escue look to them #but I still love the book covers for my current bookset. i love that they all match #my PJO origin story #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson #percy jackson books #percy jackson tv show #The Lighting Thief #percy jackson book 1 #percy jackson series #rick riordan

[k1rishiki]

no one has my back the way the guy at the local boba place has my back

#every time i come in he makes some sort of comment about liking the way i dress which is hilarious 2 me bc i . hate the way i dress #so i've been forced to come to the conclusion that i am. in fact. naturally stylish. i just happen to be a bit of an eccentric and have #grown very tired of my standard tshirt + jeans + docs + some sort of jacket combo. #i waltzed in there in my lain replica hat and my vivienne westwood orb and my long light pink winter coat (zipped up bc cold) #(+ jeans and docs) and he said something about it being rlly cohesive. which is funny bc i was wearing a fucking genshin cardigan and a mcr #shirt under the coat and like. two of those things don't match anything at all. but i'm happy that the lain hat matches my coat as well as #it does. n e ways. boba place guy got to be the first to hear abt my most recent college acceptance. and then i went to the comic book stor #down the street and the guy there was talking abt someone else buying the same manga as i was and mentioned that they asked him to order th #next few volumes and uhm . i've now discovered that the selection of manga at my fingertips is not limited to what they choose to stock and #i can ask for things from my reading list so that's going to be. very bad for my wallet. #romeo.txt

[infriga]

Broke: I don't read as much as I used to.

Woke: I read twice as much as I used to, plus now I can tailor the experience to my exact preferences.

#I've come to realise in recent years #that the reason I don't read original fiction as often anymore isn't because I've somehow lost the motivation to read #I read all the damn time #I just don't like how when I try to read original fiction it's become a gamble #Even if I only ever got books free from the library I only end up enjoying what #5 out of 10 books if I'm lucky? #Because all I can go off of is the blurb on the back #I remember making threads on forums and reddit and stuff asking for recommendations for books that don't have romance #And so many answers would involve ''well it has romance BUT'' like bitch did I stutter??? #But with fanfics they almost always explicitly state if there's romance or not #And I can filter for that #I can filter for all sorts of niche preferences #To my heart's desire #So if original fiction and libraries in general had a tagging system as extensive as AO3 #Then honestly I'd probably read a lot more original fiction #And like of course it helps that I already know and like the characters with fanfics but that can actually backfire sometimes #if the characterization doesn't match my interpretation #But even then people often tag for certain depictions or behaviours or actions so I can still filter a lot of them out #Not perfectly but better than with original fiction #So for me the lack of a good filter system is the main barrier when it comes to reading original fiction #And I don't see original fiction as being somehow better than fanfiction tbh #Random #Idk why I suddenly had to make this post with a novel worth of tags on it but oh well here you go lol

[viijaya]

#;ooc #ooc #OOF #this is (if im correct) b.idek d.ebroy's edition of m.ahabharata #there are shorter versions too;; i find it quite difficult to find one that would match what im searching for rn #like an example; i heard this one has included many details #then there's the one retold by r.ajagopalachari that is said to be more condensed and written in simple english #and many many more others #a good starting point to pick one falls down onto the reader i assume; like if u have extense prior knowledge of the story; or #or know some bits here and there; or if its ur first time getting in contact with an extensive text #etc etc #personally i would consider that what i know is pretty limited and the things i know is information i've been gathering #from reading docs/watching videos/ etc etc #ONE DAY!! -clenches hands on fists- at least a condensed version; i would like to read it! #there's also a movie on y.out.ube its around 5 hours long #i started watching that one some time ago #do u ever think about how in c.haldea's library they prob would have a copy of many books that are related to servants or biographies? #like;; if the master wanted to know more about their servants they could go and read about them right away #even with the servants based on people like n.ero; u could just go and read the biography #I DUNNO LIKE;; wish this was talked more; i find it fascinating and sometimes its just so common on f.go to see servants all around #i would FREEZE on the spot if some guy told me he is lit r.obin h.ood!!;; imagine how much u could ask them all!! #their views; their experiences!!

[astonmartinii]

ice, ice baby (literally) | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x raikkonen!reader

the ice man may have never spoken, but his daughter never shuts the fuck up

based on the request from @blue-skyandstars

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, sebastianvettel and 783,409 others

yourusername: taking names and kicking asses (and getting all assignments in on time with an appropriate amount of ass licking)

view all comments

user1: i love how she is so clearly kimi's daughter

user2: the only two blondes that don't freak me out

user3: insert that paris hilton clip "can i have two more of these little blonde bitches?"

maxverstappen1: what's an appropriate amount of ass licking and can i demonstrate on you?

maxverstappen1: wait! who said that?

yourusername: in your dreams car boy

maxverstappen1: trust me i see you in my dreams all the time

yourusername: so that's why you're always in the shower when i call you in the morning....

user4: i'm new here, are they together?

yourusername: wouldn't you like to know weather boy

maxverstappen1: she's actually my sleep paralysis demon, sorry to say

user5: they're so unserious

kimiraikkonen: keep those studies up i'm paying the bills

yourusername: i promise to use my status as a nepo baby for good papa 🫡

kimiraikkonen: proud of you.

user6: we love a self aware girly

user7: the raikkonen household really is the best balance, a guy who acts like talking causes him physical pain and a girl who couldn't shut the fuck up if she tried

yourusername: no way i'd rather it be

charles_leclerc: how many versions of that shirt do you have?

yourusername: enough...

charles_leclerc: and i'm the one who is a threat to national security when i go shopping

yourusername: that trouser collection should get you on some sort of list

user8: all these f1 drivers in her likes and comments and she's not cuffed... why is she fumbling so bad

yourusername: am I fumbling or are THEY?

user9: expose the dms please

yourusername: that would not be pg13 soz!

maxverstappen1

liked by kimiraikkonen, landonorris and 1,094,556 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: oh look who decided to come back

view all comments

user10: max is so annoyed that she decided to go to school in the us that he makes all american fans lives hell by winning all the races

user11: so true of him

landonorris: matching books? you're such a simp

maxverstappen1: is a man forbidden to be in a book club? who backwards of you lando

yourusername: just because you can't read, don't take it out on us

landonorris: i can read!

yourusername: name the last book you read

yourusername: and that doesn't include searching your name on twitter

landonorris: can you go back already, you're so mean

yourusername: don't come for our two man book club if you can't handle the smoke

maxverstappen1: what she said

user12: i love how spring break starts and y/n doesn't even go to see her dad, straight to max

maxverstappen1: kimi is coming! i am NOT a bad friend who deprives y/n of her dad

user12: you're also scared of kimi

maxverstappen1: i'm also scared of kimi

danielricciardo: you're in my building and i don't get any baked goods... i see how it is

yourusername: as if max is allowed to eat them anyway they're for dad

danielricciardo: i promptly take back anything i've ever said

user13: max has got to be down bad to have that much baking equipment in his house when it's canon he can barely cook eggs

yourusername: if he wanted to he would

user14: is this confirmation?

yourusername: i hope those are paper straws you're grasping at

maxverstappen1: why wouldn't i make sure i have the equipment to get my worker bee to make me sweet treats (don't read that rupert)

user15: i'm on to you two ... there's something shady going on here

sebastianvettel

liked by kimiraikkonen, maxverstappen1 and 1,209,409 others

tagged: yourusername

sebastianvettel: she's too old, i miss when she was a nice and polite child

view all comments

user19: annual god father seb appearance

user20: y/n please work your magic to get him to a race this weekend

yourusername: i'm working on it! watch out for suzuka

user21: the people's princess truly

yourusername: rude! i am a very polite young woman 🙁

sebastianvettel: yes you are, but also when you were ten you didn't bother me with your love life

sebastianvettel: and you weren't so fussy with food

yourusername: I AM NOT FUSSY I JUST HAVE AN ACQUIRED TASTE

sebastianvettel: you asked me to uninvite lewis to our dinner plans because you "hate that quinoa shit, i'm hungry enough to kill a horse with my bare hands"

yourusername: and i'd say it again!

lewishamilton: first of all: rude. second of all: i knew there was a reason you and max get on so well - BLAND

maxverstappen1: just because my food doesn't turn my shit green or couldn't accidentally be sold in the rabbit section of the pet store doesn't make me BLAND

yourusername: i don't trust a man who makes non-alocholic tequila THE FACT IT GETS YOU DRUNK IS THE BEST PART OF THE TEQUILA ONLY WEIRDOS DRINK TEQUILA FOR THE TASTE

lewishamilton: gasp! you said you liked it!

yourusername: i try to be supportive okay :(

user22: well that was something

user23: max always coming to the rescue ... makes you think

charles_leclerc: i am sensing some blatant favouritism here

mickschumacher: i never get invited on baking weekends :(

yourusername: snooze you lose ladies

sebastianvettel: this is exactly what i mean y/n

yourusername: my bad! i'm sorry my god father loves me more than you :p get well soon

sebastianvettel: that's not-

charles_leclerc: consider yourself in beef

yourusername: it's on babe

user24: gosh i'm so confused WHO THE FUCK DO I WANT TO GET WITH HER

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, kimiraikkonen and 809,445 others

yourusername: boy, oh, boy am i ready to finish this semester

view all comments

user26: i see tulips i do deduce that they are from max verstappen 🤓👆

user27: i hate you invasive leeches (i believe this and it is now my personal headcanon)

maxverstappen1: SEAT BELT PLEASE

yourusername: i swear i did 😫

maxverstappen1: you need to protect the precious goods

landonorris: you never tell me that 🙁

maxverstappen1: you're not precious goods, hope this helps x

landonorris: i see how it is

yourusername: don't hate the player, hate the game lando

user28: they've either got the single most flirtatious friendship ever to exist or they're together

user29: if they are just friends and those flowers are from her actual gf - i am not being dramatic but i would take a long walk off a short plank

user30: i feel like they'd be the ultimate cockblocks for each other 😭

kimiraikkonen: proud of you bub

yourusername: i am losing hair from academic stress i hope you're happy papa

kimiraikkonen: i am 👍🏻

yourusername: i am losing hair - LOSING HAIR THIS IS A BIG DEAL YOU PAY FOR MY APPOINTMENTS

kimiraikkonen: you need a college education so you're not wasting all of my money - i also pay your sorority dues so be nice to me

yourusername: i'm tired let me be the low effort nepo baby i am meant to be

user31: can kimi raikkonen pay for my hair appointments too?

jensonbutton: is that MY CAR?

yourusername: you put me on the insurance?

jensonbutton: yeah for when your car was in the shop - i thought shelby was still in my garage?

yourusername: not to victim blame but having so many cars you don't notice one is gone, that's on you

jensonbutton: @KIMIRAIKKONEN YOUR KID STOLE MY CAR

yourusername: britt gave me the keys !!!!!!

kimiraikkonen: you got duped by a 21 year old, that's not my fault

user32: kimi when y/n jokes about dropping out 🤨 kimi when y/n steals one of jenson's cars 🥹

maxverstappen1

liked by kimiraikkonen, landonorris and 2,305,689 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: ice, ice baby (except you're smoking hot)

view all comments

user35: WHOOP WHOOP LET'S FUCKING GO

user36: max already having the approval of kimi, that's my king

maxverstappen1: make no mistake i went to the raikkonen household with many offerings before i asked for his permission

user37: and if he had said no?

maxverstappen1: i would've asked y/n regardless 🫡

kimiraikkonen: 🤨

maxverstappen1: uh? i'm digging my own grave but i love your daughter so that's all the matters right? RIGHT?

kimiraikkonen: 🙄

maxverstappen1: WOULD IT KILL YOU TO USE THE KEYBOARD I'M HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN HERE

user38: the way max got given approval on live tv with more words than we've heard from kimi at any point in his career and he's still a shaking mess

user39: anxious girl representation

yourusername: you melted this icicle

maxverstappen1: eh i think you've always been a softy

charles_leclerc: like softserve ice cream? shop @lec now!

maxverstappen1: do you fucking mind?

yourusername: really? on the post of my boyfriend professing his love?

charles_leclerc: god forbid a guy chases the bag (also he called you smoking hot, that's hardly a profession of love)

maxverstappen1: you little rat

yourusername: lifetime supply of lec and a flavour named after us and consider yourself forgiven

charles_leclerc: i don't need your approval that much

yourusername: @kimiraikkonen @sebastianvettel you seeing this shit?

charles_leclerc: fine... weaponising your dad and god father is a low blow

yourusername: also! i love you baby - thank you for putting up with my constant yapping xx

maxverstappen1: i love you even more, i can't wait for you to finish college so i never have to share you ever again

kimiraikkonen: 🤨

maxverstappen1: AND YOUR LOVELY FAMILY

yourusername: they love you really maxy don't worry

yourusername

liked by sebastianvettel, jensonbutton and 1.945,440 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: i'm so talented, i brought three more championships to the family without even getting into the car

view all comments

user40: okay idk why yall were shipping anyone else, i've seen one picture of them being cute and am sold

user41: i'm so convinced this happened cause max saw people were convinced she was with other people on the grid and he had to mark his territory

maxverstappen1: yes i was jealous but can you blame me? prettiest girl in the world actually wanted me back. i will not fumble this

user42: i need my man to be this down bad for me

kimiraikkonen: cute.

yourusername: thank you papa xxx

maxverstappen1: THANK YOU KIMI, LOVE YOU KIMI

yourusername: i think he gets it babe...

maxverstappen1: first time i've got a non-emoji answer, i will savour it

user43: oh my i love them your honour

sebastianvettel: happy for you guys, see you guys soon

yourusername: love you seb!

maxverstappen1: thanks for the vote of confidence seb

sebastianvettel: you may be a literal nightmare child, but you're our nightmare child now

kimiraikkonen: what he said

maxverstappen1: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (i am ignoring that you called me a nightmare child, i was 17 give me a break)

yourusername: you guys he's crying hahahahahah

maxverstappen1: i just love you guys (y/n more)

yourusername: i love you too xx

user44: so liked now we've got the relationship reveal... when do we get both y/n and kimi in the red bull garage

user45: lets up the stakes and get max, kimi and seb in the 24 hours of le mans

yourusername: oh now you've started it - he's already on the phone to adrian

maxverstappen1: am i the first nepotism boyfriend?

kimiraikkonen: you might be the favourite of the in-laws if you get me a le mans win

maxverstappen1: y/n is an only child? i'm the only in law?

kimiraikkonen: yes?

maxverstappen1: I'M ON THE PHONE TO ADRIAN

yourusername: did i just lose my boyf to my dad?

fin.

note: babe the writer's block is back. but i'm fighting it. hope yall enjoyed this!

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #f1 social media au #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen social media au

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd) #because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

[joelsmochi]

every man gets his wish - joel miller

rating: E 18+ pairing: neighbor!joel x f!pornstar!reader summary: joel discovers his next door neighbor makes porn in her spare time. once she's confronted, she finds out that he has an interest in helping create content ;) warnings: not proofread, no physical descriptions other than reader having an unidentified tattoo on her thigh and nice peach, unspecified age gap (ur choice pookie), [m] masturbation, objectively joel is a bit of a perv, some awkward dialogue, literal porn. literally, degradation (they get a lil rough), f + m oral, smacking/spanking, daddy kink (slight ddlg vibes too), pet names and plenty of dirty talk YUM wc: 3.2k a/n: happy valentine's day smut sluts :D!

He almost couldn’t believe his eyes, but he’d recognize that tattoo anywhere; his gaze followed the tattoo on the back of your thigh as you rode your cute little excuse for a toy.

Your soft moans and breaths echoing through the speakers on his laptop made his legs tremble against the old desk chair in his room while he fucked his fist.

He didn’t even think twice about the video he clicked on. He just knew he was horny and in need of quick release, so he typed his favorite keywords into Pornhub’s search engine and clicked the sixth video that only showed your ass. He realized he never noticed how juicy it was, and the oil or lotion or lube or whatever you fucking used to make it so goddamn shiny only emphasized how perfect it was.

Staring at the screen, he grasped the armrest in one hand and cock in the other, watching your puffy pussy cream all over the dildo. He matched the strokes of his hand with the rhythm of you bouncing. Slowing down, speeding up, only fucking the tip or grinding—he reenacted every movement of yours as best he could.

Even waiting until you were shaking and shouting the words, “I’m cumming—fuck yes! Just like that baby,” before cumming with you.

He watched the last few minutes of the video, watching you slap the dildo on your creamy cunt and play with it a little more along with standing up off of your bed and jiggling your ass in your hands. You giggled softly watching yourself. Then, much to his surprise, you sat down in front of the camera and smiled.

He wasn’t expecting you to reveal your face, so when the video ended he looked out of his bedroom window into yours. You were lying on the bed reading a book in the very spot where you recorded that filthy video.

You weren’t trying to tease him, he knew that, but it certainly felt that way.

♡

Joel had successfully managed to evade you for a week feigning work has been keeping him too tired for company. He found himself a touch jealous that the world had seen you naked before him despite your relationship being completely platonic.

You owed him nothing, not even an explanation, but he still felt weirdly possessive over you. He had a slight crush on you when you first moved in, but you were so much younger than he was, and in his eyes you'd want nothing to do with such an old man like himself. Not to mention the 'crush' was mostly just a lingering desperation to fuck you.

The discovery led him to do a deep dive into your profile on the website. There he discovered what seemed like a plethora of your content along with your affinity for degradation whether it was to yourself or towards others.

However he felt like he could finally breathe when he saw it was all solo content. You didn't even seem to entertain the idea of fucking someone else and uploading it. He even felt a sliver of hope that he could be your first real fuck on camera, but if he already struggled with confronting his own feelings towards you then how could he ever open up the opportunity to doing a video with you?

Joel was finally over avoiding you. He was ready to admit his discovery to you and go from there. He just prayed you wouldn't freak out.

"Hi, Joel!" You greeted after opening your front door. "What's been goin' on cowboy, I've been a little lonely on this side of town."

He followed your actions and sat on your sofa; as instant as a heartbeat you noticed he was off. Nervous? Worry? Anger? You struggled to read him.

"Somethin' the matter?"

He pulled himself out of his daze and looked at you, mouth hanging open like he couldn't manage the words. They just sort of... Spilled out.

"I found your porn on PornHub the other day and I don't care that you sell porn. I really don't. You're a grown woman and it's your body and you can do whatever you want. I just felt wrong not tellin' you."

Poor Joel.

You wanted to laugh at him, tell him there was no guilt in finding it or even watching it (because let's face it, you know he did).

"Okay," you said.

"Okay..."

"...Did you like it?" You asked after feeling a little uneasy with the silence.

"Hell yeah," he responded without hesitation making you giggle.

"Really?" You tittered, "I feel like it gets old."

This was his golden opportunity. At the very least he could pass what he was about to say off as a joke.

"I could always help with that," he chuckled.

You were clearly taken aback by his statement but still smiling. "I'm don't like sharing my money, Joel," you scoffed.

"So don't pay me," he said just as he leaned in a little closer. "Just fuck me."

You couldn't fight the blush that rose to your cheeks and he cockily took notice of it.

"Are you fucking with me?" You bashfully asked.

This made him lean in closer, close enough for you to smell him, close enough to feel his breath cascading over your collarbones, close enough to know that the dark look in his eyes wasn't mischief. It was desire.

His hands cupped your jaw so that he could bring your nose to his. You felt beautifully trapped between his hands, gaze, and aura. Suddenly you were filled with the desire to let him take you in any way he wanted to imagine.

"You know what my favorite video is?" He whispered, breath hitting your lips. "You were on your side, getting ready to cum, and you kept saying I belong to you until you were screaming. Damn near crying. Your little fucktoy was soaked. You had cum everywhere. But the best part was when you did start to cum. You couldn't even look away from yourself, you looked too damn good and you fucking knew it."

"I'd look even better with you inside of me," you told him.

He sharply inhaled before placing his needy lips onto yours, pressing his face in as much as he could.

You moaned into his open mouth, reaching for his tongue with your own. His hands roamed down your body until they reached your hips; showing off his strength, he lifted you into his lap and stood up not wanting to waste another second.

He tried to be careful on the stairs but his eagarity caused him to misstep and almost drop you; he left no room for embarrassment and quickly returned to running up with you giggling at the mishap.

Joel placed you on the bed standing with his jean-covered erection eye level with you. "Where's your camera?"

"Really wanna record it, hmm?" You said softly, running your hand along his hard length and motioning your head to the dresser behind him.

He grabbed it, muttering, "Wanna show everyone you're mine now," whilst turning the camera on.

You cocked an eyebrow up as if to say oh really. "Is that so? I'm all yours now?"

Smiling, he pointed the now recording camera at you. He cupped your chin and dragged a finger over the bright smile you wore. "You're all mine now, darlin'."

You giggled coyly then kissed his clad erection slowly with eyes that remained on the lens.

"Quit teasin'," he demanded with a playful lilt.

You hummed and fake pouted, pulling your face away to toggle his jeans. "There are nicer ways to ask," you teased.

"I'm not askin'."

"Oh? My apologies, daddy."

Your hand began pumping his thick cock when you said that, making his cock jerk hard within your tight grip.

"Daddy, huh?" He entertained; you seductively nodded. "S'pretty right here..."

"Where I belong," you hummed.

Then, you lined your tongue up with the base of his cock, just barely teasing his balls, and licked a stripe up his girthy shaft before twirling your tongue around his red hot tip. You carefully watched as his face contorted, ensuring it was with pleasure and looking for any sensitive spots he may have.

He seemed to favor your tongue on his cockhead so that's what you prioritized for a minute. You tongue kissed it as if it were his mouth. Licking and sucking and pulling it into your mouth feverishly.

His cock tasted manly and the length was just as impressive as him. You finally pulled more of him into your mouth allowing him the privilege of feeling your gummy cheeks swell and close around his dick.

A strained groan left his throat and his head fell back in pleasure. You pushed some of him into your throat to gag, earning more spit to pump the rest of his length with.

Joel was enamoured to say the least. Your wide eyes locked with his letting him know you loved sucking his cock as much as he did. Spit hung from your chin prompting him to reangle the camera to get the side view of everything.

He placed a hand on the back of your head and gently fucked your throat. You moaned, grabbing his ass and pulling him in for more pain, more suffocation.

Your throat gagged over and over again, imitating the feeling of your swallowing his dick. You loved how he shamelessly moaned, filling your ears with the sexy sounds of his calloused whimpers and content praises.

"Such a good girl, sucking daddy's cock like that," he groaned. "You like the taste, don't you? Such a good little slut." He smacked your jaw as encouragement to keep doing whatever magic you were fucking performing.

Once your throat began to get sore you pulled your mouth off of him, still opting to use your hands as he laid you down and rested on top of you, giving you the sloppiest kiss you'd ever received and assisting you with undressing.

He tasted his cock on your lips and chin and slurped up whatever precum and spit you had leftover. It felt nasty and passionate, with subtle moans spilling from both of you, and Joel couldn't get enough of it.

"Sit on my face," he breathed.

"Sit on your face?"

"Mmhm."

You set the camera up on the dresser looking at the screen to ensure it would capture everything before complying with his wish. He let out a muffled moan as soon as your wet pussy came in contact with his wet mouth.

On the camera, everything could be seen: your cunt glistened effortlessly and his tongue lapped up whatever your body poured for him. His scruff tickling your freshly shaved skin made you giggle and moan, little noises everywhere that sung like a melody in his ears.

Your clit tingled with a pressure that encouraged you to started riding his face. In response Joel's calloused hands came up to grip your ass and assisted your movements.

He squeezed one cheek almost too hard before spanking it a few times, your flesh easily bruising red and stinging deliciously.

"Joel, your mouth... Perfect," you blabbered. You were filled with bliss: your eyes were closed, fingers twirling playfully in his messy hair.

God, he licked you so fucking good. So messy but that's what made it effortlessly perfect.

"I—oh my God. Fuck! I love your fucking mouth," you moaned loudly.

"Mhm?"

You shuddered at the vibrations, hips stuttering into his licks and sucks even deeper.

"Yes, Joel!" You cried, "Fuck you're gonna make me cum... You're gonna make me cum!"

He spanked your ass even more at this, making both cheeks turn a bashful color and jiggle against his jawline.

With trembling thighs you managed all of your strength to hump him harder and faster. Doing whatever you fucking could to reach your climax.

"Yesyesyesyesyesyes!" You happily cheered as your juices began to relentlessly pour out of your squelching cunt and down his chin.

A satisfied smile rose to your face as your clit throbbed through the orgasm Joel had just given you. You slowed down on your own time allowing him to savor every last drop he'd be tasting for now.

You carefully removed your weight from his face, feeling more out of breath than ever. Meanwhile Joel sat up and swiped up some of your come with his thumb just before forcing it into your mouth and using his other hand to pinch out some that managed to get inside of his nose.

You were a tad embarrassed by his action but his subtle grin let you know that there was nothing more sexy than getting you so wet that it literally almost suffocated him.

Your mouth latched into him, cherishing the scruff surrounding his face. He went to lay on top of you again, your head now hanging off of the foot of the bed; he held your legs to your chest and slid into you easily making you whine at the slight burn that came with being stretched out.

With furrowed brows and an agape mouth, he incandescently moaned into the thick air while his thick thumb found your sensitive clit. You flinched and exhaled harmoniously at the combination of pleasure, enriched in the ecstasy he gave.

"You're so fuckin' tight, babydoll. Agh—almost can't take it," he taunted. "M'gonna have to ruin ya."

He gently released the grip of your legs and put his weight onto you. His arms slithered beneath you, wrapping around you in a way that made you feel safe. Then he kissed you, much more softly than before and rolled his hips back and forth. Your slick walls gripped him, trying to suck him in deeper.

His lips pulled off of you with a pop and he licked a thick line from your clavicle to behind your ear as if he magically knew it was your sweet spot.

You giggled and shivered at the ticklish feeling, enduring it until it started to feel more sensual. He felt you relax within his touch and took it as opportunity to nibble the spot, biting it just enough to hurt a little bit.

Between his movements and your sweaty bodies sticking together you felt almost useless; you were used to doing the work, giving instead of taking. But it felt too good to stop now.

When you clawed at his back he pushed himself up and started slamming into you. You gasped, digging your nails into his arms.

"Love those pretty little sounds you're makin' f'me," he hummed, pushing his hand into your exposed neck and gripping it. "You like that? Hm? Ohh, you fucking love it. Look it at you."

You raised a hand and smacked his cheek lightly—your way of saying fuck you considering his grasp of you. He reciprocated, landing a firm smack to your face and earning a smile in return.

"Fuckin' brat needs to be put in her place—"

You shook your head attempting to hum out a no.

The hand he had around your neck reached up to squish your cheeks so that he could come eye to eye with you. "God, fuck. I can't even punish you when you look at me with those pretty eyes," he said defeatedly. "Look at you, babydoll. You're so fuckin' tight. Best fuckin' pussy ever. So wet, just f'me."

"All yours, Joel. I'm all yours."

"Yeah?" He cooed. "You're all mine?"

"Fuck yes!"

"Cum for me, baby. Yeah, cum on my cock," he pleaded, "get it nice and wet for me darlin', need you to cum for me."

Between his scruff voice and brutal thrusts you found yourself falling into another orgasm, everything around you ceased to exist.

The world went quiet aside from Joel's encouragements and praises; you could feel the blood pumping throughout your body, your heart punching against your chest, and your body molding to the twists and curves of Joel's body.

As you squeezed and scratched and begged him for more more more you felt the tension between your legs dissolve passionately into a sear so strong you felt it warm and burning the flesh along your belly.

Joel watched your chest rise and fall with your tits bouncing to the rhythm of his thrusts. He rode you out until the very end of your high before picking you up and sitting on the edge of the bed with you straddling him.

Feeling even more horny and turned on than before you wasted no time and began bouncing on his painfully hard dick.

He was fighting his climax, needing to feel you wrapped around him as long as he could take.

"You feel so fucking good, daddy," you whined, "want your cum."

"You want me to cum inside you babydoll?" He pouted.

"Yes Joel. Want you to fill me up..."

"Gonna ruin that pretty pussy," he grunted, "gonna make you mine. This pussy belongs to me now, doesn't it?"

He listened to you whimper and weep and whine, coaxing you through it all while offering a few pops to your ass and thighs for encouragement.

You watched him lay down, arms folded behind his head to enjoy the little show you were putting on for him. Hair bouncing and flaying everywhere while you rode him with a bobbling head—the view from where he was looked pretty fucking perfect.

Your movements halted and you managed to turn around on his cock while keeping it inside; hearing a strained gurgly moan come from him as a result, you mercilessly began riding him again giving him the best view of your ass as it clapped against the peak of his belly.

"Good fuckin' slut," he slapped your tatted thigh and watched intently for a moment or two. "Good girl, mhmm. Doin' such a perfect job on daddy's cock."

Joel then sat up and reached for your clit, rubbing the sweetest little circles on it and using his free hand to turn your face to kiss him.

Reverse cowgirl had always been him favorite position, but he can't remember a time or even a moment where it felt this fucking good.

"You're gonna make me cum, baby," he whispered with his forehead leaning against yours. "Gonna make me fuckin' cum. Tha' what you want, baby? Want your daddy to fill this fuckin' pussy up?"

He gave your clit a mean smack but it only made you go faster.

"Need you to cum! Fucking—ohh! Cum for me, please daddy. Want you to f-fill me up!"

Joel began thrusting to meet you halfway, and his eyes stayed locked with yours as he muttered a string of profanities.

"Oh shit. Ohfuckohfuckohfuck. Fuck yes!"

He painted your pussy with his hot, sticky ropes of cum, moaning your name over and over with fluttering eyes and a tight grip on your hips. He thrusted a few more times before pulling out and meeting you with a few more soft kisses as a thank you.

You felt his cum slowly pouring out of your swollen cunt, trailing down his softening cock and on the sheets. You two stayed like that for a while, savoring the moment and taking your time.

A while later while he was cleaning up between your legs he said, "You better upload that video."

"You weren't joking?" You scoffed, wearing a smile.

"I wasn't joking," he said contently.

That night once he had fallen asleep in your bed, you decided to upload the full video uncut with the perfect title...

My DILF Neighbor Comes Over For A Creampie ♡

346K Views | 93% | 16 Hours Ago | ♡ 532

#pedro pascal #joel miller #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fluff #joel tlou #joel miller tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #tlou fandom

[cow-smells]

Worth your While | Opla! Sanji x reader

Request: I've read that you are in the need for some Sanji request or ideas so here's one for a fic :D

The crew gets into a fight ( it can be the Navy or anither pirate crew) and the reader gets badly hit and Sanji just loses his shit seeing the person that he cared for the most getting knocked out?? I just genuinely wanna see Sanji just go ape shit on people because of it XD and maybe hiw the others in the clue will react to seeing Sanji like that? @smolracoon25

Summary: You and Sanji have been playing the flirting game for way too long. When you get injured, Sanji shows a side of himself you had yet to see.

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: none

A/n: I'm going purely off the live-action so pls have that in mind, also I'm just getting back in to the rhythm of writing after such a long time so sorry if this is poop/ooc/both, love ya :)

Read on AO3

“Don't you ever take a break?”

Zoro's voice coming from behind startled you, forcing you to break your longing gaze at Sanji who was fishing at the bow of the ship. “Huh?” came your wise response.

Zoro looked from you to Sanji. “You've been making moon eyes at him for months now. Don't you get tired? Or are you waiting for him to take his shift staring at you so that you can clock off?”

You felt heat rising to your cheeks. This was far from the first time crew members commented about you and Sanji's – whatever was going on between you two – but this was the first time Zoro called you out so blatantly.

When you didn't respond, Zoro went on. “I just came to tell you we should be docking soon. I'll leave you the pleasure of telling the cook.” with that, he left.

You closed the book on your lap. You really did have the intention of reading when you first head out to the deck, having some time to kill, but then... you noticed Sanji. At first you thought you'd go sit with him for a while, flirt and banter a little as you always do, but you found yourself absorbed in taking him in instead. He was different when he was alone. The way he looked so focused, so deep in thought when it was just him and the sea. Maybe even a little sad. So different from his usual sunny exterior that he put on when he was with people. Falling in to deep thoughts wondering what he might be thinking about – maybe about you? - you sat and stared, not reading as much as a word.

The book discarded, you felt a spring in your step as you made your way to the ship's chef.

The creaking floorboards alerted your arrival. Sanji turned to see who was creeping up on him, and when he saw you, he set his fishing rod aside as a wide smile grew on his lips, his dimples deepening and making your heart miss a beat. “There's my favourite girl. Come here, let me hear all about your day.” Sanji held his arms open, beckoning you to come sit on his lap.

The flirting was nothing new. When you first joined the Strawhats, Sanji was as flirty to you as he was to any other woman; he did not expect to meet his match in you. You were quick to play along, always one-upping him, dancing along the line that separated playfulness and seriousness, never quite picking a side.

The problem was, in reality, you had chosen a side long ago.

You would flirt and giggle and make him blush but never actually act upon anything. Neither would Sanji. He, however, took your playing along as though it was a battle to be won. Sanji would flirt, you'd reply with something raunchy, he would surprise you with something heartfelt. It was as though he knew exactly where to hit in order to get you a little closer to buckling, every time. As time went on he had become so devoted to your back and forth that you noticed he had gradually abandoned all other efforts flirting with other women, to focus entirely on you.

You had to remind yourself that this was a game to him. An instinct, almost. It hurt to think of your relationship that way, but you had to keep that thought at the forefront of your mind if you didn't want to fall even harder for him.

So you would continue to play along, even if that's all that you could have with him.

You chose not to indulge him completely – that was too dangerous for you – and so you opted to bend a knee over the armrest of his chair. Close, but no contact. “Come on, Sanji,” you bent your head in what felt like a bashful manner and said, “you know I spent all day thinking of you.”

You weren't sure if he was blushing or if that was just your wishful thinking. Composing himself, Sanji wrapped an arm around you to hold your waist, lightly tracing circles on your hip. “I beg of you, darling – next time, come find me instead of just thinking of me. I'll make it worth your while.”

You wanted to ask, how will you make it worth my while? Just to hear Sanji go in to detail of what you've been fantasizing about for months. But instead, you opted for a tamer response. “I came to tell you we're docking soon. Maybe I'll find you then and you could make it worth my while with a drink.”

Without missing a beat, Sanji took hold of your hand, bringing it to his lips. “There's nothing I'd enjoy more.” With that, he kissed your hand, his eyes never leaving yours.

Docking started out normal. Everyone knew what their usual chores were when you reached a town, restocking and fixing so that the ship would be in top condition for its next leg of the journey in your search for the One Piece. So while Sanji went in to town to restock on groceries (you didn't pay much attention to the others), you, Nami and Usopp stayed around the ship to fix up some of the damage it took when you last encountered a rival pirate ship. That also happened to be the reason it was just you three when the same rival pirates noticed your ship docked, ready to take their revenge.

The three of you had your individual talents, but you just weren't enough to hold up against an entire rival crew. They had attacked so suddenly and so fiercely – it didn't take long before you were on the sand, fighting to stay conscious. You lost that fight as you watched Usopp try his best to fight off three attackers at once.

You really thought that would be the end for you. You should have known better; it was Sanji's voice you heard as you regained consciousness, motivating you to open your eyes despite the pain that flooded your body.

The beach area all around you was covered with pirates who were taken down, just like you – only that they were your enemies. You first noticed Nami's orange hair – she seemed to be taking care of a bleeding Usopp, his condition worse than yours. Following Sanji's voice, you found him holding the last one of the rival crew by his shirt, throwing punches like you've never seen him before. It took you aback – thinking about it, you had never seen Sanji use his hands in combat. Too precious – need them for cooking, he'd once told you before adding, the only thing more precious to me is you. It had made you blush at the time before you had laughed him off. Now, you were questioning if it was a joke at all.

The man Sanji was holding wasn't putting up a fight – he was far too battered for that, but Sanji didn't stop. He was too far away for you to understand what he was saying to the guy, but focusing hard, you could just about make out half sentences – "to hit a woman" – "don't deserve to breath" – "finish you" – you searched for the strength to get up and stop him. You had never seen Sanji – your happy, cheerful Sanji – so angry, feral even. It scared you a little; but mostly, you knew Sanji would regret it if he were to kill a man who no longer posed a threat. So you grasped at the sand, forcing your aching bones to pick yourself up. But as you were regaining your balance, Sanji finally threw the man to the sand, a look of disgust painting his handsome features. "Finally made a date with her and you ruined it... You hurt her. You're lucky I don't kill you." The man groaned in pain.

In a sharp change, his features went from anger to concern as he finally left the man and turned to where he last saw you laying. His eyes were full of honest pain, until he saw you on your feet – then they read of hope. "Y/n!" Sanji called, rushing to you as he could see your struggle to stand upright. "You- I-" he scanned your body as he reached you, taking in all visible injuries. "Are you – are you okay? Can I help you?" he reached an arm around your waist, waiting for your approval before he held on to help you stay up, so afraid he might hurt you.

"Thanks." his arm around you really helped you to stay up. It was a practical measure, sure, any one of your crew mates would do the same – but when you look up and meet Sanji's eyes, you know that the tense feeling between you two wouldn't have been replicated with anyone else. "I mean it. You saved us. We'd... I'd be lost without you." at that, Sanji smiled that deep-dimpled smile of his at you, the playfulness not reaching his still-concerned eyes.

"Y/n," he started. "are you really flirting with me, at a time like this?"

It was strange how despite all your injuries, you felt less and less of the pain the longer you leaned in to Sanji, close enough to smell his fragrance. A half-smile reached your lips. You couldn't play this game any longer. "Did you really beat that guy up that bad because he ruined what should have been our... date?"

Sanji tensed, obviously not ready to have this conversation now. His gaze dropped momentarily before he wrapped his other arm around your waist, holding you tightly to him. "I had a hundred reasons to kill him," Sanji said, and you felt disappointment bubbling through you until he continued, "but the most pressing reason is that he ruined our date."

Sanji took the opportunity to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear and you couldn't help but smile so big you were embarrassed by it. "I really wanted that drink with you, away from the ship and everyone else. Just us."

You recomposed yourself. You needed clarity. "I'm not playing anymore, Sanji."

Sanji chuckled. "Fancy that. I was never playing at all."

You must have forgotten how to breath at all when he leaned down, his hand finding a rest on your neck as his thumb caressed your cheek. Nearly a whisper, he asked – "Can I kiss you?"

You leaning in served as the consent he searched for. After months of pining over each other, wondering what it would be like – his lips met yours, in a mixture of softness and passion like you'd never felt before. Forgetting you were injured at all you sneaked your arms around his neck, pulling him in, almost afraid of letting this anticipated moment of passion go. Sanji was more than happy to pull closer, a hand on your lower back holding you impossibly close to him.

The moment did, however, find its end as you heard your Captain whoop and holler from afar. "Yeah! Way to go, Sanji! About damn time!"

Breaking the kiss, Sanji nodded at Luffy, his smile lines prominent as he looked the proudest you'd ever seen him.

The crew was more than happy to make a quick exit that night, preferring to not stay around until the rival crew regained their strength. You were helping Nami untie the ropes anchoring the ship to the dock when she said, "I really thought he was going to kill him earlier." you didn't know how to respond. "I've never seen Sanji like that." Nami managed to untie a knot, and Zoro began pulling the rope up on to the ship. "He's really got it bad for you."

Despite that questionable context, you couldn't help but smile. In a burst of honesty you confessed; "I hope so, because I've got it real bad for him, too."

On cue, the ship's chef leaned over the ships railing, looking down to you. "Y/n, my love!" he called, as though the rest of the crew wasn't surrounding the both of you. "I hope you're finished down there, because I've got a candlelit dinner waiting for you up here. And drinks. You know, to make it worth your while," he finished with a wink.

From behind Sanji you could hear Luffy ask, "What about our dinner? Just because you're lovers now doesn't mean we don't need to eat..."

Sanji sighed and turned away from you, probably to go protect your dinner before Luffy demolished it.

"Right then, let's go," Nami said as you finished untying the last rope. "While there's still food to eat."

And for the first time, you boarded your ship not to find the One Piece or the All Blue – you were just happy to be there, with the man you loved.

#vinsmoke sanji #one piece sanji #one piece live action sanji #sanji x reader #sanji imagine #sanji fanfic #sanji fanfiction #vinsmoke sanji x reader #one piece sanji imagine #one piece sanji x reader #one piece live action sanji x reader #opla!sanji x reader

[crazy-pages]

I'm going to throw my two cents in to the conversation about why James Somerton didn't get caught earlier. Part of the answer is of course that he did get caught, he just bullied and lied to get away with it for a while, but I know a lot of people still express confusion. And of course he went out of his way to make sure his audience didn't know about other queer history sources other than himself. But still. How could he have so many viewers of his videos and none of them had seen X source material?

Well. To be blunt, most of his videos were pretty basic. He tended to copy the highlights of what he was plagiarizing, not the really advanced stuff. And insofar as he copied the advanced stuff, he had a tendency to chop it up and serve it out of context alongside other plagiarized work. The material he was presenting was revolutionary to an audience unfamiliar with queer history, but like. I'm guessing 'Disney villains are queer coded' is not exactly a new concept to the kind of people who read multiple books about queer coding in film.

Now I'm not a film studies person, I'm a physicist. But you know what I do when I get a video in my YouTube recommendations about some fairly basic physics concept?

I skip it. No shade to the creator, but like. I hit that topic a decade ago and I've added literally thousands of hours of studying and research to my brain since. I'm just going to give it a pass, all right?

These kinds of videos self-select for an audience which isn't going to be familiar with the source material. The people who know it are unlikely to keep listening after the first minute or so.

And you've got to remember how much of this content the experts have consumed! With very few exceptions for weird little things that stuck in my head after all these years, I would probably not notice a physics explanation plagiarized from one of my textbooks! Not because I wasn't intimately acquainted with the textbook, but because I was intimately acquainted with many such textbooks. Spend enough time learning this stuff and it all blurs together a little bit. Does this explanation sound familiar because you've heard it before, or because you've just read books which cover this specific topic seven different times? And does that wording or that example ring a bell because it's plagiarized, or because it's common to the field?

Catching this kind of plagiarism requires having the kind of people who are already familiar with these sources, and therefore uninterested in video summaries on the topic, to watch the video. And among those people who do, it requires them to match Somerton's words to one specific source on the topic out of many, that they probably read quite some time ago. And then you have the filter of how many of those subject matter experts have the source on hand to check, to turn a vague "...hmm" into something solid.

If you know enough about queer history to say that some of his plagiarism was obvious, now that you've watched the video, then you should remember that there is a reason you probably weren't one of the people watching his videos! And because YouTube promotes videos through algorithmic engagement, none of this stuff has to pass the sniff test for any other expert in the field before it gets released. No experts have to like it for it to get published or for it to get good reviews or for it to get a recommendation in, I don't know, the New York Times.

The only people who have to like the videos for them to get traction are people who are just trying to learn introductory queer history and film theory. The exact people who aren't going to notice this. And for those of you who to whom it is obvious, ask yourself. When was the last time you watched a basic level queer history introduction on YouTube?

#hbomberguy #james somerton

[justporo]

Headcanons about living with Astarion

I thought about some of this lately and since yesterday's warmup got out of hand... (Behold him lounging:)

First things first, if you think living with Astarion will be neat and organised just because he himself always looks put well together: you are in for a surprise

This man - as much as he cares for aesthetics - tends to be messy

Especially since it's been forever that he could actually have and keep stuff, so expect books everywhere, cups left on surfaces, stuff laying around on the floor (and let's be honest, growing up as a noble before didn't teach him anything about being domestic...)

He'll learn though, especially when you reach a point where you could almost throw stuff at him (but he still struggles with it and him buying so many books surely doesn't help)

Astarion is basically cat: lounging everywhere - no surface is safe! Although a comfy sofa or chaiselongue are preferred spots!

Especially when you've sat somewhere and it's still nice and warm and smells of you; "Was that your seat, darling? Well, not anymore!"

But then he would pull you in with a chuckle and have you cuddle up on his lap and also refuse to let you go ("Love, I've only just gotten comfortable, you can't leave now!")

What he lacks in order he makes up with style - to a point it might make your blood boil: "Astarion, please, I couldn't care less if the red of the drapes matches the pillow cases!" "Yes, well, darling - don't take it personally - but I wouldn't have expected you to care anyway." Then he has to dodge several pillows being flung at his head)

Astarion leaves little notes for you to find, like for example if he's gone to run some errands or maybe just because - to tell you he loves you; at some point it kind of becomes a game of him hiding notes somewhere in the house and waiting how long you take to find them - scolding you if you take too long! ("My sweet, a trained donkey would have found it by now! Open your eyes, love, you can't possibly be that distracted by my beautiful face!")

Astarion learns about companionable silence with you - obviously he's very chatty and you love nights just wasted away with talking and joking - about everything and anything; but he also learns how pleasant it can be to just sit there, all cozied up with you and feeling the deep peace of easy silence with you

That or spending some quality time together: him spending time with reading or doing embroidery, you with drawing, also reading or anything else - as long as you're together

At least for a while Astarion really enjoys having a place where he can just... be; obviously this eager little vampire can't sit still forever but he revels in the knowledge of having a place he can always return to, somewhere to be safe and comfy, somewhere he can always be with you

Alright - at least that's how I could very well imagine living with Astarion might be, hihi. This man keeps living in my head - by now I'm sure he's changed my brain chemistry forever, for good...

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #fanfiction #astarion x tav #baldur's gate iii #bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate #astarion x mc #astarion x oc #astarion x reader #bg3 #headcanons #astarion headcanons #imagine #poro headcanons #astarion x you #astarion fluff