the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.
the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.
friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.
if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!
what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!
people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.
you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.
your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.
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honestly I think hugh grant lucked out with his glass onion role. a couple hours of shooting at most, no press work, no interviews, and he gets to be remembered by everyone as famous detective benoit blanc's live in sexy malewife
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not negating anybody's experience i know black sails is outstanding regardless of how or when or how quickly you watch it. but also, as a gay person who watched it in real time, you really had to be there. they introduce anne bonny and you know your pirate history so you KNOW she's a girlliker. she has a moment with max but youre not sure where it's gonna go. because it's 2014. you wait over a year for 2x01 and she and max fucking obliterate you with the sword drop kiss scene. all anybody is talking about in the tags is vaneeleanor. a few weeks later 2.05 drops and flint is not only textually gay and kissing a man but he is waging war on england, on all of civilization for taking away his male lover. you find this out after investing fourteen hours on this show that have spanned over a year and a half in your real life. not to mention the miranda stuff and silver's arc and mr scott and madi and the death march that seasons 3 and 4 feel like when you have no inkling of how it's gonna end. but you stick with it regardless because it's good and besides it's 2014-2017 and the only genre show with gay people in it is fucking... the 100? lol anyway. more gay people flock to black sails between seasons and the tag becomes more about the gay shit than vaneeleanor, thank fucking god, finally. you all dread the last season. you brace yourselves for the worst. you thank the stars this show airs weekly because watching even just two episodes together is too overwhelming. 4.08 airs. you cry. 4.09 airs. you cry. 4.10 airs. your life will never be the same. you cry so hard you catch a fever and have to stay in bed all week to recuperate. you know this was a once in a lifetime experience never to be repeated again but you can't help but hold every other show to this impossible standard.
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A hilarious au idea involving Sir Nighteye
In this au, all might having a sidekick was never public knowledge, this was to maintain his image as the sole pillar of peace, and because nighteye works best in the shadows anyway.
Jump cut to 12 year old izuku meeting nighteye because reasons, I’m thinking nighteye saves him from a villain, and of course izuku BEGS him to sign his hero notebook. Here’s a hero he doesn’t recognize!! It’s so exciting!! Nighteye, upon seeing this journal, recognizes not only this kid’s talent but also how much in depth and possibly sensitive info he knows, and is like “….maybe we should keep an eye on him.”
After a bit of scoping him out, and a LOT of discussion with inko, nighteye essentially offers izuku a work study position as an analyst. The kid shows a lot of promise in that field, even if he seems dead set on being a field hero. And because nighteye’s operation is top secret, no one but izuku and inko know his after school job is at a hero agency.
Here’s where the fun starts.
Because this would not change how things play out with all might at all, he’s still offered one for all.
Izuku asks who knows about the quirk and yagi, who isn’t on speaking terms with his former sidekick who the public don’t even know he had, does not tell izuku nighteye knows about the quirk. Or even that he used to work with nighteye. Why would he? So izuku keeps this secret from nighteye and asks for reduced hours at work so he can train for UA, leaving out who he’s training with.
Meanwhile, izuku of course wants to tell all might he works with another hero, nighteye’s operation is Top Fucking Secret and izuku promised to maintain that. So at most All Might knows izuku part times at an underground hero agency, but izuku won’t tell him which one. All might finds this more amusing then anything else and respects his student’s privacy.
Nighteye still wants Mirio to be all might’s sucessor and is ENRAGED to find out he gave it to some random child he hadn’t even known a day. Refusing to listen any more.
So neither of these two idiots realize they’re mentoring the same kid.
Cue the entrance exam and izuku having to explain to nighteye that he “suddenly” manifested his quirk and nighteye is like “…..wait a minute”
I’m calling this au My Hero Custody Battle
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Remembering that today was going to be Lucy’s wedding day
I’m ugly crying, WHY COULDN’T SHE BE HAPPY, AND WITH ARTHUR WHILE BOATING TOGETHER??? WHYYYYY?????????
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