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goblinontour · 4 months

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Santa Baby

some christmas fun with your husband after the kids go to sleep

warnings: husband!dad!alex, fluff, smut, piv, roleplay (kinda?), body insecurity (a bit)

word count: 2.3k

it was the first christmas you would be spending alone as a family and it was already a big mess. your two kids had been going crazy for the last few days about how they can’t wait to see santa, to meet him. and you couldn’t break it to them that santa wasn’t real, obviously, they were still little.

but it was too late to hire someone to come dressed as santa, it was already christmas eve. the only solution you could come up with was for your husband to dress as santa. he was reluctant at first saying they would know it’s him but you begged him and he agreed, eventually. he spent god knows how long until he finally found an open store that had a costume and he was getting a bit excited now, couldn’t wait to see how the little ones’ faces would light up.

your house was decorated like one you’d see in movies. you were a sucker for christmas and loved to place all the lights all over the house and this time the babies were old enough to participate in decorating the christmas tree. alex wasn’t the biggest fan, but he loved seeing you all happy from those silly things, and his heart was full with joy watching the little angels you two created, your family finally complete. well, maybe not fully, you continued to beg him to get a cat but he was putting it off saying he’s ’allergic’. liar. you know he’ll cave soon enough.

so time for santa to come was here, you brought the kids to the living room and they went nuts saying they can’t believe santa’s there for them and that he’s real. you were struggling so much not to laugh at alex all dressed up with the cheapest looking white beard on his face and a pillow stuffed under that to make it all the more accurate, even though he had a bit of a belly himself, being off from touring left a mark on his body, the once lean stomach he had now soft and squishy. he got insecure about it sometimes, but you assured him that you don’t mind it at all, making sure to tell him you fucking love it. it was so nice to lie on him and feel him so plump.

it went down perfectly after all, your heart melting as you watched him try to change his voice to make fantasy come true. they did ask where daddy was but you fooled them saying he was tired and already asleep, waiting till the morning to open santa’s gifts. and they were too young to question it. they agreed on opening the presents in the morning with daddy there as well, but they were happy they met santa.

soon enough they grew tired and you put them to bed, reading a little christmas bedtime story, and you caught them dozing off after only a few minutes, before they could hear the end of it. you gave them both a kiss goodnight and went downstairs to your husband to spend the rest of the evening together.

he’d removed the pillow from under his top and taken off the fake beard, but now he was scratching his face desperately.

“al stop it!” you told him off.

“what?!” he questioned, looking annoyed and irritated.

“you’ll give yourself an ugly rash if you keep scratching like that.” you said to him, not wanting to hear him complain about the marks later.

“it’s fucking itchy. ‘s your fault for making me do this.” he complained, pointing at his costume, but you knew he didn’t truly mean it.

“shut up. i know you loved it.”

“of course i did. just because i love the kids” he confessed “and you” he added, making sure you know it. “come here baby” calling out for you and putting his hand out for you to grab, and once you did he quickly pulled you onto his lap, taking you by surprise with how eager he was to hold you. and he grabbed your waist tightly, pulling you closer to him.

“now, why don’t you tell santa…have you been a good girl?” he said in a low tone, leaning down to kiss you softly, but quickly deepening it by grabbing your jaw and angling better towards him so he could slip his tongue into your mouth, dancing with yours in perfect sync. his mood was now vastly different to how he just acted a few minutes before.

“alexxx, what’s gotten into you?” you giggled as he started kissing down your neck, his own stubble ticking you and his hands slipped under your pyjama shirt, rubbing up and down your side.

“you won’t get a present if you’re not a good girl, answer me.” he pushed, nudging his nose into the crook of your neck, loving having you so close, taking in your scent. he said it was even better than the baby skin scent that you both got addicted to aftee having your first little one.

“yes, i was indeed a good girl this year, don’t you know it already?” you played into the little game he started.

“i don’t in fact. and i don’t believe you. why don’t you prove yourself?” you knew what he was getting at, you could feel him growing hard under you even through that thick costume. you moved so you get into a position where you could feel him better, and you started grinding your ass into his growing erection, evoking a grunt from him.

“good girls don’t tease” he warned, grabbing your face again, slapping it playfully a few times, very soft.

you moved, got up in front of him and stripped, taking off your clothes in the most seductive way you could, although you were wearing some christmas patterned pyjamas, and it was a bit silly. but you tried your best and knew he still loved you and would take you regardless of what you were wearing. you turned around so your back was facing him and you put your ass out, wiggling it for him and looking at him over your shoulder, smirking once you noticed the tent in his pants.

“i said no teasing baby.” he grabbed you by your hips and pushed you down on him again. he was fully hard, you could feel him perfectly as your bare cunt was rubbing on his dick over his pants.

by now you yourself were aching for it, wet in anticipation, and you knew those pants were already ruined by your juices dripping onto them.

he started grinding his hips and one of his hands went to play with your breast, kneading it in his palm and pinching your nipple every now and then.

roles have switched, he was now teasing you by also bringing his hand down between your legs, his fingers ghosting over your wet pussy, and he started by gathering the arousal from your hole, bringing it up to your clit and rubbing gentle circles that were simply not enough. you were whining and in painful need for more.

“please alex…need you.” you cried out

“what do you need darling?” fucking hell. he was going to make you beg for it, his fingers teasing your hole now, only the very tips slipping in and you moaned as he bit down on your neck, in that spot that made you go crazy for him.

“you baby please. your girl needs your cock now.”

“my girl mhmm…that’s right.” he hummed, pleased with how much you grew to need him so quickly. “then you better be a good girl and take it nice and deep, yeah?”

“yes, i promise.” you said before he even got a chance to finish his sentence, so eager. you needed him right now.

he moved his hand from your breast, snaking it around your waist to hold you tight in place, his other one leaving your pussy. he slipped it between your bodies, going under you, grabbing your ass and lifting you up just a bit so he could push his pants down, together with his underwear, leaving them to fall down to his ankles and rest there, not bothering to slip them off completely with his feet.

he took a hold of his hard cock, brushing the aching tip with his thumb, spreading the precum gathered there down his length, pumping himself a few times before lining it up with your entrance. he played with you once more, holding you so tight that you couldn’t just sink down on him, teasing your empty hole by pushing in just the tip, wanting to hear you beg for it again.

“al fuck me already, this is torture.” you complained to him, you needed him so fucking bad.

“ask nicely…how a truly good girl would say it.”

“santa baby, please fuck me now, please i need you inside me-“

before you could continue to beg him further, and you would’ve, he took a hold of your hips and lowered you down on his cock, both of you moaning in sink at the way it felt. you because of how good he felt finally being inside you, and him because of how your perfect hole took him in, moulded to him, forever just for him.

you started to grind on him, rolling your hips, loving the way he filled you up, but apparently it wasn’t enough for him. he held you by the hips again and started bucking his hips up, and you met his thrust by moving with him. he was so desperate, grunts leaving his throat continuously, combining in a lovely way with your own moans and whimpers. and god how much did the sound of his belly slapping your ass with each one of his hard thrusts turn you on and drive you crazy for him.

but he suddenly stopped and grunted as if defeated and disappointed, and you didn’t know what happened.

“what’s wrong alex?” you questioned, genuinely confused.

“‘s not deep enough. not like it used to, my big fucking belly’s in the way.” he complained, and you looked back at him over your shoulder only to see his face adorned by that little pout he does. he was like a kid mad at his parents cause he couldn’t eat candy before bed. you couldn’t help but laugh softly at how truly sad he looked.

“alex your belly’s so fucking hot stop complaining and fuck me.” you said to him, it hurt you to see him upset over that, but right now you really needed him to fuck you. “is it not good for you?”

“no, it is, but i was worried about you…’s not like it used to, do you even like it?”

“oh baby…you fuck me so good and i love your belly, i’m not just saying it please believe me now” you assured him.

“okay love, fuck you good right?” he seemed back into it, leaving his insecurities out of it for now.

“mhm, so good, you always do” you continued.

he started fucking into you again, this time slow and as deep as he could, he knew you loved it slow and honestly he was tired, the thick costume making him feel too hot.

it was absolutely delicious like that, how you would feel his plump fat head rubbing inside and hitting that spot that made you see stars just perfectly, despite what he said about it ‘not being deep enough’. he was just stupid.

his hand on your waist went to your mouth momentarily. “spit on ‘em baby, get them nice and wet.” he demanded, and you complied instantly, lowering your head to suck on the fingers he put up first, rubbing your tongue along them, tasting yourself from earlier. he slipped them out and you spit on them like he asked. he licked his lips and bit down on the bottom one as he felt your spit running down his fingers. he then brought them back down to rub your clit again, circling it just perfectly, your spit making them slip around just right on the sensitive nub.

you were so close, so was he, you could tell from how he was panting heavily as he continued to fuck into you, biting down on your naked shoulder harshly, making you hiss from the pain but the pleasure drowned it out, far greater than the temporary burn on your skin.

the moment his fingers pushed on your clit just right and he hit that spot deep inside you at the same time was it for you. you came all over his cock and he continued to push you through your orgasm, not giving up his movements on your clit, though his hips were faltering from how you were squeezing his cock so tightly. he fell apart not long after, your still sensitive and pulsating pussy milking him as he came, his warm cum deep inside you filling you up, coating and soothing your used hole.

he laid back on the chair, trying desperately to catch his breath, and you collapsed over him instantly, too fucked out to hold yourself up, his now softening cock still buried inside you.

“wait a second honey, just-“ he pushed you off him so he could take the dumb costume top off once and for all. “don’t know why the fuck i kept that on.” he laughed.

“well, now i can say i fucked santa, right?” you joked, pressing your back against his bare chest, loving the soft sweaty skin sticking to your back.

“that’s right baby” kissing the side of your face and rubbing his face against yours.

“it tickles stop ittt.” you tried to squirm away from his stubbly face but he hugged you tight so you couldn’t get away.

“i love you fucking so much, my girl…my wife…still can’t believe how lucky i got” he confessed.

“i love you forevermore.”

a/n: merry christmas i guess! i literally wrote this impulsively at the christmas family dinner…yeah. enjoy!

tags: @4chaos @picturezonthewall @st7rnioioss @theonlyoneswhoknowsblog @whitepontiac @ohladymoon @rentsturner

#alex turner #alex turner fanfic #alex turner fic #alex turner smut #alex turner x reader #alex turner x you #smut #alex turner fluff #goblinontour

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creedslove · 4 months

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No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: Merry Christmas, besties ❣️

• when you showed up with the Santa costume and a mischievous smile, the first thing Joel said was "no" as he would definitely not dress up as Santa Claus at Christmas

• he just thought it would be so stupid and silly to do that, he was sure everyone would just laugh and make fun of the fact a grown man like Joel Miller would dress as Santa and throw his "hohohos" around and he was not getting himself into that

• but you pouted and gave him the puppy eyes and reminded him how happy the kids would be, the entire family would love to see it, and just to think of his sweet little Sarah happy at the visit of Santa, he felt his heart warm and even if he was still reluctant, he said yes

• as if you needed another reason to be excited about Christmas, now your handsome boyfriend was going to dress up as Santa and make all the kids happy, you couldn't wait and you couldn't even stop talking about it, to the point Joel told you he wasn't going to do it anymore if you didn't shut up

• so when Christmas came, you were so excited about seeing Joel in that costume you couldn't even get to sleep the night before, you were just so happy the moment you saw him leaving the room in his full red santa claus attire you squealed and jumped on him, hugging him so tight and surprising him at your enthusiasm, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you for a small kiss, and you laughed at the fact you'd just kissed Santa

• he had to get back to his role and walked downstairs, a little shy at first but dragging the attention of everyone else to him, and of course that everyone else loved it, cheering and snapping pictures of him, at the same time he kids rushed to him, hugging him tight and celebrating the fact Santa had showed up to visit them

• but when Joel went outside with his Santa attire, the other kids from the street also saw him and got all excited and immediately ran to him, which made Joel have to sit down and talk to all of the kids, let them blabber about Christmas and take pictures with him

• as you watched this entire interaction, you couldn't help but feel your heart clench in so much love it was overwhelming, Joel was such a great guy with kids, he was an amazing dad and even if you already witnessed that on a daily basis with his relationship with Sarah, you felt different, you began longing for him, because if it was up to you, you'd let him put a baby in you that night

• Joel was enjoying it more than he'd like to admit it, it was actually fun to be the spotlight of the party and make the kids so happy, the way they just went crazy and he could see the happiness in their little eyes, it was very rewarding

• not to mention he really enjoyed that kiss you'd previously given him, so when his santa claus duty was finally over, the Christmas party was already dying down, everyone saying their goodbyes and eventually you and Joel were left alone at home and he grabbed you by the waist kissing you deeply and making you giggle

"now I gotta find out if you have been a good or a naughty girl"

• he whispers into your ear and it makes you slap his chest playfully

"change these clothes because I'm going to clean up a bit downstairs, don't be silly, Joel"

• he chuckled but let you go, knowing he had a better plan, so you went downstairs trusting Joel had stripped down from his costume, but the moment you began washing the dishes you heard Joel coming downstairs, assuming he was there to help you

• but when he stood at the door wearing nothing but his Santa hat, his white beard and red boxers; you were shocked to say the least

"have you been naughty or nice, baby girl?"

• he asked with a playful smile, making you drop all the dishes you were washing and walked to him, not believing your eyes, Joel was so playful and the moment he pulled you closer, you simply couldn't resist him, kissing him deeply, even with the beard

• he cornered you against the kitchen counter and lifted you up, wanting to take you right there, it was going to be a long night and he was definitely making you sit on Santa's lap

____

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal headcanon #pedro pascal headcanons #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller headcanon #joel miller headcanons

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ohbabydollie · 1 month

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dollie i know you said no more schlatt but you're my fav schlatt writer and the only person i'd trust with this idea🫣

cheesy christmas cards/photoshoots with schlatt and the cats, with the tacky costumes and everything, the cliche poses, just funny cringe stuff. it becomes sort of an inside joke, and a yearly tradition, and it continues even after you guys have kids, putting them in the silly matching costumes

that is all, living for your ted era, because i'm obsessed with him too

-all my love, 🌠

*sigh* even when i came close to quitting he still haunts me /j

schlatt has everything planned out, from the theme of the christmas card to the outfits. schlatt hires a professional photographer to take the photos of you and the cats.

he spends a good two hours getting the tiny custom made sweaters onto jambo and [redacted] and trying to get them to keep it on for the photo. tiny cat santa hats, he goes all the way for these photos.

he even makes you do your hair in a 80’s poofy, curly, over sprayed style with the ugliest sweater you have ever laid your eyes on to match. schlatt is dressed to match you and is stoked to take the photos.

he wears his glasses and sits in a chair so you can put your hands on his shoulder and lean on him in that christmas card pose. he holds the cats as they start to try and take off their sweaters and he makes sure to pick out the worst possible photo out of all of them.

one where you’re not looking at the camera as [redacted] starts to hiss, jambo is getting ready to jump off his lap and schlatt is giving the biggest, psychotic smile known to man to the camera as the chaos starts around him.

he loves that picture and reposts it every single Christmas alongside the other pictures that show the chaos unfolding.

with kids it only gets better (or worse depending on how you see it), he picks the theme based on the classics from how the grinch stole christmas to a christmas story. they’re often the worst and best photos people have ever seen.

from your baby’s first christmas, schlatt dressed as the grinch, you as martha may and your poor little cindy lou who sobbing her eyes out as her dad holds her on her lap

all the way to their teenage years, your oldest dressed in ralph’s bunny onesie, youngest in a thick red coat with a scarf barely letting them peak through to look at the camera, you holding a turkey about to fall out of the tray and you husband holding that damn leg lamp.

he loves looking back on the photos from your first christmas together to the most recent, he puts them up as soon as thanksgiving is over and doesn’t take them down until after new years. he absolutely loves the stupid photos no matter how cringey they may look, he always finds a way to make them worse every year and sends them out to his friends just in time for the beginning of the christmas season

#schlatt x reader #jschlatt x reader #jschlatt x you #jschlatt x y/n #schlatt x y/n #schlatt x you #jschlatt fluff #schlatt fluff #🌠 anon

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myboyfriendjake · 8 months

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enhypen as fathers - hyung line

summary: a collection of thoughts on each of hyung line being fathers

note: implied relationship between enha and the reader. i wrote it so the reader can have any pronouns, so i hope all engenes feel like they can read this!

warnings: none?

word count: 1.2 k

HEESEUNG enjoys playing more than the kids. He’s the one who asks for five more minutes to play cars or build Legos. He’s a true child at heart, especially at home where he doesn’t have to worry about the members.

HEESEUNG also passes on his love for music - singing lullabies, humming on long car rides, taking the kids to concerts (both his and others’). He loves his family karaoke nights, and loves hearing the kids sing or play instruments, always encouraging them and supporting them.

HEESEUNG always makes time for the kids. Think working from home if he’s writing music, or making “take your kid to work day” a regular thing. He loves taking them to the studio, teaching them what buttons to push, and letting them mess around with recording on the mic.

HEESEUNG thinks he’s an excellent father, citing past experience “raising Niki” (who he refuses to let babysit but that’s another story), and even though you like to joke that he isn’t, you can’t help but agree. He’s a model father, and you think the kids are so lucky to have him.

HEESEUNG refuses to let the ENHYPEN members babysit (with the exception of JAY) - some have messed up in the past, and others were never trusted from the beginning.

(jungwon didn’t put the kids to sleep because he wanted to stay up; sunoo got distracted with the good lighting in the kitchen; niki was playing violent video games; sunghoon and jake were never trusted to begin with)

HEESEUNG goes all out for all the holidays - he’ll dress up as Santa, and comes up with the most elaborate Halloween costumes. He loves doing themed costumes with the family as well.

JAY has always wanted to be a father. Growing up an only child, he’d always wanted multiple kids, so they could have the close sibling bond he’d always craved.

JAY is usually a mature adult, but not when the kids are fighting. You think he enjoys watching them argue, calling each other silly insults - “farthead”, “butthole”. He never bothers breaking up their fights - “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” - and instead tries to get you to bet with him on who’ll win tonight’s argument. You’re interested to see what he says when they get older and start swearing.

JAY insists on family cooking nights at least once a week. He enjoys teaching the kids to cook, and cooking with them. He also hardcore judges them for their interesting choices when it comes to pizza toppings.

JAY loves cooking for the kids as well. If you can’t find him, you know he’ll be in the kitchen, working on a meal or a snack or dessert. You love the smile on his face when the kids take a freshly baked cookie and tell him it’s great - his eyes crinkle up and his grin is bright and he looks like he just won the lottery.

JAY also loves tucking the kids in - he’ll read them stories, sing them lullabies, strum on his guitar before wishing them a good night.

(you’re thankful for that as well because jay’s usually the one they wake up if they have nightmares - you get to carry on with your beauty sleep)

JAY loves getting gifts for the kids so much that it’s a problem. You argue with him on this all the time - “they’re 5, jay, they don’t need designer”. He’ll just respond with “I can’t help myself, Prada has such cute outfits”. He insists on making sure the kids are dressed well, and you can’t help but smile at how cute it is to see Jay acting like their stylist.

JAKE balances his roles of “father” and “friend” really well. He’s extremely playful - always ready to play-fight or build Legos or have a tea party - but won’t hesitate to switch to “dad-mode” should a fight break out or a bad word be said. He’s still sweet though - “don’t repeat that word again sweetie”.

JAKE is the kids’ number one fan (you and him argue over that title all the time). No matter how busy he is, he’s always cheering them on, whether it be a soccer match or a dance recital.

(he’s “gotten sick” on several content-shooting days just to jump up and down at a sports game)

JAKE wants the kids to explore so they can find their passions. He introduces them to soccer, singing, violin, but doesn’t hold them to it - “they were my passions, so i think you should look into them, but they don’t have to be yours too”. He’s more than happy to cheer them on for basketball or trumpet as well.

JAKE loves going for family walks. Jake, you, the kids, and the family dog, strolling around the neighborhood on a nice day. Jake will challenge the kids to naming different types of clouds, and he’ll throw back his head and laugh when they come up with ridiculous names.

JAKE is the most supportive person ever, and you think that the kids are so lucky to have him. He understands how important it is to have supportive parents, considering his journey to becoming an idol, so he always supports you and the kids in everything you do - trying out a new activity, taking a challenging class, having a long day at work. He’s always there for his family.

JAKE becomes more confident after becoming a father as well. You think he was a little insecure about his voice before - “I wish I sounded like Heeseung hyung” he’s said on more than one occasion - but the kids (and you) are enamored with his voice, always insisting that he sing on long car rides and before going to sleep.

SUNGHOON loves taking the kids skating. In the winter, he’ll regularly take them to the local ice rink, and teach them to skate. He abandons his fancy twists and jumps, opting rather to hold his kids’ hands, and teach them how to glide across the ice.

SUNGHOON is a constant, steadying force in the family. He’s not always talking, but you and the kids always know he’s there for you. At dinner, he’ll sit quietly, listening carefully as the kids recount their days at school, smiling at the fun parts, and threatening violence when he hears about mean kids or annoying teachers.

SUNGHOON insists on family dance battles. Some nights after dinner, he’ll have everyone gather in the den, and start playing music. He always looks so happy just to be doing something fun with the people he loves.

SUNGHOON is very cheesy in that he loves the “typical family things”. He insists on nice photoshoots for greeting cards during the holidays - he’ll book a date, buy coordinating outfits. He’s also a sucker for the traditional family road trip, beach day, ski trip.

SUNGHOON is so sweet on those previously mentioned ski trips. He’ll hold everyone's hands on the chairlifts, making sure everyone feels comfortable. He’s more than happy to help you and the kids get down the mountain, and won’t hesitate to wipe out on purpose to make you and the kids smile.

SUNGHOON is also the kind of guy who will regularly quote Lilo and Stitch - “Ohana means family, and family means that no one gets left behind.” He’s really sweet, and cheesy, and you and the kids love him for that.

#hyung line as fathers #enhypen #enhypen fic #enhypen x reader #enhypen hyung line #enhypen fluff #heeseung #heeseung x reader #jay #jay x reader #jake #jake x reader #sunghoon #sunghoon x reader

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all2angels · 4 months

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WHITE CHRISTMAS | santa!gerard x gn!afab!reader (short) christmas special fic <33 merry xmas to those who celebrate, here's my gift:

warnings: p in v smut, no protection (wrap it before you tap it), a little dub/con & somno, dom!gee sorry i couldn't help myself, smut written by a virgin, there might be missed grammer & spelling mistakes (tell me if there are any pls)

it was late, you had already fallen asleep before twelve expecting to wake up on christmas morning. that was, until you felt a person remove the blanket that was lying so comfortably on top of you. you whined, feeling the cold air hit your skin, but you were too tired to do anything about it, deciding to just sleep it off.

but it didn't end there, you felt the buttons of your pajamas get undone, and before they could get to the last button you stopped them, grabbing their hand gently wondering who was doing this to you. despite your exhaustion, you open your eyes to gerard dressed in a santa costume. you giggled, thinking it was silly.

"whatchu doin', gee?" you asked fully awake now. he ticked his tongue.

"don't laugh, baby. you've been naughty all year round. 'm just gonna take care of you," he said, undoing the last button. you felt a shiver run down your spine as he was now working on removing your pants and underwear, exposing your bare body to him.

he undid his belt and tossed it off to the side with a loud thud and you hear him unzip his trousers. then he lines up the tip of his dick on your cunt, teasing your clit with his tip. The teasing makes you feel like you're about to explode if he doesn't fill you up soon so you whimper to get him to hurry up.

"shh, I know..." he coos. gerard spits in his hand and gives his shaft a few pumps before sliding it in you without much of a warning. you let out a little moan under him, feeling all of him inside you.

he held your hips tight, his pace was nice and slow at first but got faster and rougher with each thrust. he rammed over and over in your cunt, hitting your special spot every time.

you rolled your eyes and held onto his red jacket, he fucked into you raw, barely holding back. you weren't going to last any longer. his thrusts began to get sloppier, you could tell he couldn't hold it in anymore as well.

"gonna c-cum?" you managed to let out, he nodded and you felt him go faster, building upon his high and deepening his thrusts. you groaned and came on his cock. he followed shortly after, feeling the hot load of semen inside you. he panted, wiping the sweat on his forehead, pushing his hair to the side.

he pulled out, leaving you feeling empty, missing the feeling of being filled. he kissed your cheek, "there's your white fuckin' christmas." he laughed, laying down on the bed next to you.

but you weren't done yet. you crawl on top of him, "think it's my turn..." you mumble, his eyes widened. you sat on top of him, going in for another round.

#gerard way x reader #gerard way smut #WORST SMUT EVER WRITTEN BY ME BUT I DIGRESS #all2angels #gerard way #mcr x reader #mcr smut #my chemical romance x reader

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chiriwritesstuff · 4 months

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Meet Me at the Farmers Market - A Christmas Special - 🎅 Santa's Baby ❄️

A Farmers Market! Joel AU x Confident! Plus Sized! F! Reader

Series Masterlist

Series Summary: What does a Contractor do in his spare time? Sell his wood carvings at the Saturday Farmers Market, of course! A Grumpy x Sunshine Joel Miller series collective of one shots

Chapter Rating: T

Word Count: 1.4K

Chapter Warnings & Notes: Explicit language, Miller Family Hijinks, Joel's in a costume, Ellie's in a costume, everyone is in a costume!, Naughty Santa, Tommy just can't help himself, One big-time jump into the future!, Joel is a girl dad through and through, Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!

Summary: What happens when Joel is forced to be the market's resident Santa? This story takes place five years after Pt. 6

A/N: ... and the Miller Family Hijinks™ are back!

In all seriousness, I want to thank everyone who has read, shared, liked, and loved this little series of mine. What came from an insane idea one day working at the farmers market to where we are now, I am so thankful for all of you that has supported me and my silly little series this year! I am so so so happy you all love Farmers Market Joel, and I can't wait to write more for you all! Here is a little Christmas treat set a few years in the future. I hope you all enjoy! Merry Christmas, everyone!

Dividers by @saradika

“Tommy, you fucking owe me… big time.”

Joel shifts uncomfortably in his seat, the cheap polyester of the ill-fitting Santa suit clinging to his bare skin, leaving him itchy beyond belief. Thank god it’s decently cold in Austin this time of year, he thinks to himself- if I had to do this in 90-degree weather… he pulls at the offending white beard strapped on his face, “Tell me why I’m being held against my will being Santa yet again-“

“Oh, come on, Joel, no swearing in front of the kids!” Tommy teases, slapping his brother's back as he fiddles with the digital camera fixed in front of Joel, making sure that it sits steady on its tripod. “Besides, you certainly look the part, you know. Maybe you could lay off on the after-work beers once in a while.”

“Go fuck yourself, asshole-“

“I thought we were going to try not to bicker and cuss each other out this year?” Sarah suddenly interjects, an elf hat fixed on her head as she smooths out her elf costume. She smirks, turning to a not-too-pleased Ellie in her costume, muttering to herself about getting paid to endure the torture of volunteering for the annual Christmas festival at the market. “Oh Ellie, you look so-“

“Stupid? Because I feel like a moron-" she chides, stomping next to Tommy as she fiddles with the camera. Tommy whacks her hands away as he shoos her off. “This is so fucking embarrassing! At least Joel doesn’t have to wear a pillow under that suit-“

Three of the four Millers burst into laughter, Joel glaring at them as he shakes his head. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, glad y'all are having a blast at my expense… next time Maria asks for a Santa, you-“ he points at Tommy, his face still red from laughing, “as her husband, should volunteer yourself-“

“… but you wear the suit so well, brother! Besides, I’m sure Sunflower would love for you to climb up her chimney…” Tommy interjects with a mischievous grin, sending the group into another fit of laughter.

“Oh gross!” Ellie shrieks, “Please tell me you’re going to burn that suit afterward!”

“Okay Millers, are you ready?!” Maria claps her hands together as she approaches, a wide smile on her face as she pushes Tommy aside, settling herself behind the camera. “Got all of the swear words out of your system? Let’s get into our places, there’s a lot of antsy kids waiting for Santa, we can’t keep them waiting, can we!”

Joel adjusts the too-big Santa trousers once more and gives her a thumbs up. “Okay, Let’s get this shit over with!”

“Dad, your beard is crooked,” Sarah laughs, reaching over to fiddle with the fake beard and kissing his cheek. “For the record, you are the best Santa the market has ever seen…”

“… and yet, this doesn’t mean that you’re getting a new car-“

“… she’s going to love it,” Sarah cuts him off, a small smile on her face. “Besides, don’t you think she’ll be happy to see you all dressed up?”

Joel smiles at that, nodding. “I hope so, I’m doing this just for her, you know?”

“Yeah, Dad, I know.” His eldest daughter laughs, “You’re going to kill it!”

After what feels like forever, families keep streaming in as the day goes on. Kids of all shapes and sizes take their turns on Joel's lap—some looking terrified, others just thrilled to meet Santa. Thankfully, the line finally starts thinning out as the last hour of the festival approaches.

Joel, finally catching a break, stands up to stretch. He twists his back, and you can practically hear his body protesting in agony. "I'm getting too old for this shit," he sighs, frowning.

"Excuse me, Santa," a little voice calls out from behind. "Is it my turn?"

Joel can't help but smile as he turns around, facing a little girl, no older than four, her head tilted to the side. She sports a wide grin and a pink beanie atop her head, her brown hair fashioned in charming braids, holding her mother's hand. "Sure, baby girl. Come to Santa!" Joel exclaims, settling back into his sleigh. He pats his thigh invitingly, the girl's mother giving you a knowing wink as she carries her onto Joel's lap.

“So, have you been a good girl this year?”

The girl beams at him, bouncing up and down as she nods. "Yes! I water all the plants at my mommy’s stand-" she points off into the distance, "and my daddy said that if I’m a good girl, he’s going to teach me to carb animals too!" She exclaims, "Just like my sisters! I’m a big girl now, that’s why!"

"Is that right? How old are you now?"

She holds up four little fingers. "I’m FOR!"

"... and what’s your name, pretty girl?" Joel asks with a twinkle in his eye.

“I’m Anna Miller!” she replies, her hand raised in excitement. “You can call me Annie! My mommy and daddy sell stuff at the market, do you know them?”

“I might,” Joel replies knowingly, giving her mother a wink. “Your daddy tells me that you have been very good this year!” Joel plays along, a conspiratorial smile shared between you and him. The enchantment of the moment continues as Annie beams with joy at the confirmation from Santa himself.

“Really?” she cries, “I’m so happy, I want to learn how to make my favorite animal, my daddy promised! He’s not here today,” she pouts, “it’s just me and mommy! I miss him. Mommy said he’s busy working his other job, do you think daddy is going to come to the market before it closes?”

“Well, baby girl,” Joel smiles as he winks at her mother once more, “as Santa, I can promise you that he’s going to be here, I’ll make sure of it. What’s your daddy’s name?” Joel continues the charade, eager to sprinkle a bit more magic into his daughter's day.

“Joel! My daddy’s name is Joel Miller! Do you know him?!”

“I sure do!” Joel replies, patting her back as Maria takes a photo of the two of them. “We are really good friends, you know?”

Anna turns back to you as you stifle a laugh. “Mommy, did you know Daddy is friends with Santa?! All of my friends are going to be jealous! Can you call Daddy and tell him his friend is here?” She leaps off of Joel's lap, running to you as you hike her up onto your hip. Joel hurriedly rips off the Santa costume, leaving him in his undershirt and jeans as he smirks at his wife and daughter.

"Sure, baby," you coo, looking over your shoulder as you laugh at Joel, giving him a nod, making sure the coast is clear.

"Hey, baby," he says from behind, his daughter squirming in your grasp.

"Daddy!" she shrieks, wiggling herself from Sunflower as she barrels into Joel. "You're here!" She frowns as she takes him in, her lip wobbling as she starts to cry.

Joel looks at you in horror, turning his attention back to his daughter as she cries in his arms, moving her back and forth as he attempts to console her. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Daddy, why do you have Santa's beard on you?" Annie innocently replies, pulling on the cheap beard as Ellie erupts in laughter from behind, Sarah whacking her sister as she tries to get her to settle down. "Are you old like Santa?"

"It's okay, baby," Tommy suddenly appears, his smirk as wide as Tim Curry's from Home Alone. "He's older than him, don't you know? That's why they're such good friends!"

"Oh, go fuck-"

"Language!" you scold Joel, covering your daughter's ears as you approach him, kissing him on the lips. Joel attempts to take off the offensive beard, your hand suddenly halting his movements. "Keep it on," you whisper in his ear, "Maybe Santa might let me sit on his lap later, do you think you can ask him, being that you're such good friends and all?" you tease, pinching his ass.

"Oh, I think I can convince him," he winks, slapping your ass as you jump in surprise. "Have you been a good girl this year? Or have you been naughty? I think Santa likes them-"

"Gross! Get a room ya filthy animals!" Ellie yells, ripping off her elf hat as she throws it at Tommy, "This is the last time, you hear me?"

#pedro pascal #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller x female reader #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x plus size reader #joel tlou #joel the last of us #tlou fanfiction #tlou hbo #tlou fic #joel miller fic #joel miller imagine #meet me at the farmers market

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bl4cktourmaline · 4 months

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ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡ — day 6 featuring shinonome akito

knock knock!

heres some mail!

ଘ(੭´꒳`)°* ੈ‧₊ 💌

⌨️ᶻᶻᶻ...anon is typing... ♡

↻ᴹᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ˡᵒᵃᵈᵉᵈ !

❝Hii can I request the Christmas prompt "a gift?...all I want for Christmas is you" with akito please! Thank you>.<❞

━━❝A gift...? All I want is you for Christmas❞

"(name)?"

"Waahhh!"

You come dashing in from the kitchen to see why he was calling, only to see a puzzled Akito holding a bag of spare clothes...

"Wh-what's wrong?" Your voice cracked for a moment.

"Nothing... I'm just going to bed..." He stared, a little suspicious "What were you doing?"

"Uhm, nothing interesting..." Avoiding eye contact as in not to give yourself away "The guest room is just down the hallway, okay? Goodnight!"

You ran back to the kitchen seemingly in a rush.

Weird...

It was a fun Christmas date, eating roast chicken, the Christmas cake and now he is staying overnight at your place for the unwrapping presents...he wanted to give you his gift but...

"I probably shouldn't bother..." He mumbles, slowly peeking from the kitchen doorway to see what you were doing...

Tidying up?

"...Is there something wrong, aki?"

"No, are you okay? You're acting weird"

"What? No! I'm totally fine, see!" You laughed awkwardly, clearly hiding something... "I thought you were going to sleep?"

"Uh..." Akito thought for a moment. It's looked like you didn't want him around so what's the deal here? "... nevermind, I'm going to bed, Goodnight"

"Night!"

Akito went to the guest's bedroom, closing the door behind him, sitting down on the be "Hmm..."

Not long after, he heard shuffling footsteps approaching the door. then heard knocking on the door "Come in"

The door bursted open "Merry Christmas!!"

You came in wearing...a Santa outfit, holding a present sack over your shoulder. The sight alone was enough to stunned the boy as he stared in disbelief.

You looked ridiculously cute in that baggy costume...that a grin is growing on his face. You tilted your head, confused by his reaction "Um... aren't you surprised?"

"I thought Santa only came when you're asleep?"

"S-Sometimes he comes to talk to good kids!"

"How did Santa get in the house? We don't have a chimney so I thought he couldn't come"

"Through the front door of course!"

"I just locked the door before going to bed?"

"Uh, but..."

Racking your brains for an explanation, the more flustered you are, the wider his smirk gets.

"Um, don't be mean to Santa or you wouldn't get your present!"

"Aww, that's no fun"

"Don't stare at Santa like that"

"Hey, Santa..."

"Wh-What?"

He backed you into the room, cornering you up against the wall to which you gasp in surprise as you tried to step back but he pouches on you, forcing the two of you tumble down on the bed...

"Hey, Santa..." He was on top of you now "I want a present"

"Umm..." You awkwardly try to squirmed yourself out "Could you move? I can't give your gift like this..."

"..." He didn't said anything at first, slowly bringing his lips to your ear to whisper "A gift...? All I want is you for Christmas"

And when he move away to look at your face...he see your bright red face "...?!"

The presents can wait...

(っ'-')╮=͟͟͞͞💌 You receive a letter from Santa Yue!

↻ᴹᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ˡᵒᵃᵈᵉᵈ !

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .

yahoo~ silly santa is so fun to tease right:3 I have fun with this one!! though my personal favorite one is more goofier(?) Is that the right word ehh.. whatever.

calling...@msith , @6-zao-xing-9

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whatawonderfulexistence--blog · 1 year

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Mistletoe Mini One Shots!

Primo:

Primo, surprisingly, was all about kissing you under the mistletoe. He would always joke about how he was an old man now, his days of being rambunctious and partaking in such a childish activity we're far behind him. That being said, he never missed an opportunity to kiss you. He would grab you by the waist and pull you to him. "Belissima, I hope you know how much I cherish spending the holidays with you." He would always mutter something cute and meaningful to you. Yes, being his Prime Mover meant you had duties that needed to be filled, but to Primo you were so much more than that. You were this man's earth, moon, and stars and he would never let you forget that. You two would exchange hushed I love you's before Primo would capture your lips in a tender kiss, neither of you able to stop the smiles on your face.

Secundo:

Secundo wasn't the most festive person but he was more than willing to participate in something silly if it meant making you happy. "My dove, you've kissed me a thousand times before, what about kissing under a plant makes you so giddy." He would chuckle at your excitement."

What? Do you not want to kiss me?" You would tease, grin growing as you held your hands behind your back and meandered closer to him

He clicks his tongue at you in response, "Tesoro, there is not a single second of the day that I wouldn't want to kiss you." He slides his hand gently across your cheek, thumb softly stroking your skin. "Is this what you want my dove? Would it make you happy for me to kiss you under the mistletoe?" The low, gravelly tone of his voice sent a shiver down your spine.

"Please..." Was the only word you could mumble out. He lets out a small laugh at your doe eyed expression.

"I love you tesoro." Despite Secundo's cold exterior there was an undeniable warmth in his eyes as he looked down at you.

"I love you Papa." You return his warm gaze, both of you leaning in to share a sweet kiss.

Terzo:

You let out an excited shriek as Terzo grabs you by the waist and pulls you to him, peppering your face with kisses. Unlike his brothers he was very enthusiastic about the holiday season. "Cara mia, don't you just love this time of year?" It has become a yearly tradition for you and your husband to get bundled up and go look at the decorations around the Abbey. Unlike his brothers, Terzo was all about celebrating the holidays. He loved cuddling with you by a warm fire, baking Christmas cookies, and going ice skating. Terzo was something straight out of a postcard this time of year, you loved getting to spend the holidays with him. "Is that mistletoe I see?" He asks with a devious smirk. You giggle, holding his face tenderly in your hands.

"Mistletoe or not, just kiss me you idiot." He happily obliges your request, lips crashing into yours in the skilled yet clumsy kiss you had fallen in love with. He holds you by the waist, lifting you from the floor and spinning you around as he kissed me.

"Ti voglio bene cara mia." He holds your chin gently between his fingers, allowing your gazes to linger on each other.

"Ti amo di più Papa." He holds you close, lips catching yours for another kiss.

Copia:

"Amore mio, could you come here for a second?" You rose from your position on the sofa, where you were currently reading a book, to answer Copia's call from your shared bedroom. "Do you remember where we put my Santa costume? I have some gifts to bring down to the children's wing and I'd like to dress up for the occasion." He turns to you with a big smile, one of Copia's favorite traditions for the holidays was to deliver gifts to the children of the Abbey. You join him in the cramped closet to help him look.

"We definitely had a box of Christmas stuff in here somewhere from that photoshoot." You kneel next to him, digging all the way to the back until you find a box labeled X-Mas. You lugged it to the front and tore it open, Copia retrieving the Santa suit from the top. What lay underneath the red sea of fabric is what caught your eye. A single sprig of mistletoe, the same one that you held over your head last year to get him to kiss you for the first time. You lifted the plant gingerly from the box, holding it high over your head and looking up at Copia with wide, innocent eyes. He was saying something about how happy he was to find the suit, pausing halfway through when his eyes landed on you. His hand caressed the side of your face, lifting your chin so your eyes could meet his.

"You never fail to take my breath away with how beautiful you are amore Mio." The compliment came out shaky and nervous, a straight you had grown to find rather adorable from your Papa. You smiled as Copia's lips found yours, your arms wrapping around each other in a tender embrace.

Sodo:

You couldn't stop the laughter that left you as Sodo held up what he was hiding behind his back. A plastic frog with a nerf bullet tied to its back with red ribbon. Sodo looked confused, his eyes switching between you and the frog. "What? Swiss told me to kiss you under the missile toad!"

"Mistletoe babe, the plant." You take his face in your hands, peppering his cheeks with kisses. "You're adorable, you know that?" The Ghoul blushes at your compliment. He suddenly pulls you to him, lips crashing against yours in a clumsy kiss. The missile toad later became an ornament for your Christmas tree.

Aether:

You and Aether had been together for a couple months, your relationship still relatively new. Throughout the entire time you've been dating Aether's always been pretty shy about PDA. When you got caught under the mistletoe with him as you walked the halls of the Abbey he became incredibly flustered. "Aether, you don't have to kiss me if you don't want to." You reassure him, his cheeks burning.

"It's not that I don't want to kiss you baby, it's just… are you sure it's okay for us to kiss in front of all of these people?" He asks you nervously. You take his hand in yours.

"I'm incredibly proud to say you're my boyfriend Aeth. I'm glad all these people will see us together, that way they'll know you're all mine." You nudge him playfully, the two of you sharing a smile.

"I guess one little kiss couldn't hurt." He holds you tightly by your waist, lips joining yours for a short, sweet kiss.

Swiss:

If there was one thing Swiss loves this time of year, it was mistletoe. He almost always had a sprig of the plant somewhere on his person. He'd walk you back to your dorm, having you flustered and giggling the entire way. "It was really nice getting to see you today." He'd grin widely at you, bending at the waist to be eye level with you.

"Careful, you'll have me thinking you have a crush on me or something." You wink at him, a teasing grin playing at your lips.

"Maybe I do have a crush on you or something." He shoots back the same smirk. Retrieving the mistletoe from his back pocket and holding it between your faces. "Wow, would you look at that mistletoe, how did that get there?" He says in a monotone voice. 'Would it be okay if I kissed you?" You nod with a giggle, the two of you slowly leaning in closer to each other. Swiss' lips ghosted over yours, the sensation sending a shiver down your spine. After a few mind numbing seconds of him being just out of reach he finally deepened the kiss, gently cupping your face with one of his hands. The two of you separated with a breathless fit of giggles, both of you blushing messes. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

Rain:

Getting caught under the mistletoe with Rain would be an absolute accident. This accident however just happened to coincide with the fact that you had a huge crush on Rain and he had an even bigger crush on you. Neither of you were aware of the other's feelings. But both of you had been dying to know what it would feel like to kiss each other. "Oh, hey, would you look at that?" Rain would clear his throat awkwardly, running the back of his neck.

"Do you want to, um…" you trail off, not brave enough to outright ask him. Rain takes a deep breath, one arm finding its way around your waist as the other slides into your hair. He crushes his lips against yours, causing you to stumble back slightly but he had a firm hold on you. You melted into him, arms sliding up his torso to wrap around his neck.

"That was nice." He mumbles after your kiss broke. Your face was on fire, so was his from the looks of it. "Would you… would you want to go on a date with me sometime?" He asks, finding a sudden boost of confidence. You nod, smile growing on your face.

Mountain:

Your nose was cold as you wandered the garden, side by side with Mountain. You were in the midst of getting the garden set up for the Abbey's annual Yule market. "He said there was a display of kissing balls that needs to be put up."

"Kissing balls?" Mountain questions, the term obviously foreign to him.

"They're balls of mistletoe, two people are supposed to kiss when they are underneath one together." He lets out a solitary hum as the two of you continued on. It didn't take either of you long to find the display that needed to be set up. Mountain helped you hang all the kissing balls once you got to the upper rung of the rack. As you handed him the final one he looked between you and the plant. He places one finger under your chin, tilting your eyes up to meet his. He held the kissing ball in between the two of you, a smile growing on your lips. Your first kiss with Mountain was sweet and gentle, a nice contrast to his huling appearance. "You know, if you wanted to kiss me you could've just asked."

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rizzyu · 4 months

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▵▿— Red Wine on Christmas Night

Pairing: Chuuya Nakahara, x gn! reader

Category: Fluffffuff

Warning: alcohol consumption, cussing, m o r i.

Summary: As Christmas strived closer and close by the day, the Port Mafia hosted a Christmas dinner at its headquarters to celebrate. Chuuya had a little bit too much to drink and started being a little bit too clingy with you.

A/N: I made this one significantly shorter than Dazai’s one cuz I don’t really wanna write another long ass fic

“I AIN’T WEARING THAT SHIT”

“Cmonnnnn put it on before Y/N get here, it’ll be funny”

“ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT”

You just arrived at the Port Mafia’s headquarters to see Tachihara and Higuchi try to convince Chuuya to wear a santa costume. “Uhhhh what’s going on?” Chuuya slowly turned his head towards you, teeth gritted and face burning in red. “HEY STOP LOOKING” Chuuya pointed at you “AND DON’T YOU DARE IMAGINE ME IN A SANTA COSTUME GOD DAMMIT”

You flashed a cheeky grin “Of course not.”

“Settle down little ones.” Kouyou stepped in the room with a glass of red wine in her hand. “We would be heading in the meeting room quite soon, so I do wish you would behave well in front of the boss.” Kouyou took a sip from her glass when Mori opened the door “Please come in.”

Chuuya sat down next to you. “I sincerely welcome all my executives and important members to this dinner.” Mori held up his glass. “Tonight we shall celebrate another year of the Port Mafia’s high achievements.” Everyone held up their own glass and toasted to this year’s Christmas.

▿▵▿▵▿

Chuuya poured himself another glass of wine after already downing his first. “So how was your recent mission?” He asked you out of the blue, his face was already flushed from the alcohol. “It was alright, just another silly little group who wanted to challenge the Port Mafia. It wasn’t that difficult to have them retreating like chickens.” You watched as Chuuya had already downed half of his second glass. “Hey stop drinking so fast, I can’t have you passing out like last time.”

“Hah?? The hell you talking about? I’ve only drank a little”

“Yea… keep telling yourself that—eh?” You quickly snapped your head around to look at Chuuya the moment he plopped his forehead against your shoulder. “Chuuya you should really stop drinking for tonight.” “Have anyone told you that you look so fucking beautiful tonight?” Your lips quirked upwards, clearly amused by how much of a lightweight Chuuya is, despite his obsession with alcohol.

“God ‘m so tired. ‘ve been getting to many missions lately.” Chuuya quietly muttered. You lightly chuckled “Where did the energetic Chuuya I saw earlier go?” “That Chuuya gotta get his rest too yknow…” You smiled softly before combing his hair through your fingers. The way Chuuya’s tensed muscles relaxed made the butterflies in your stomach flutter around.

“I feel like I should record this” Higuchi suddenly spoke from across the table. “It seems that we’re intruding something going on between these two.” Tachihara nods in agreement.

“WHAT? What do you mean— hold up! How long have you all been watching???” You felt your cheeks warm up. “Pretty much since you two started flirting with each other…” “We-we’re not flirting what do you mean??”

Kouyou sighs as she put down her cutlery. “Don’t mind those two, it’s not like this is the first time this has happened.” You chuckled nervously, secretly thanking your senior for trying to changing the subject.

Your eyes slightly widened when you felt Chuuya completely plop his head onto your lap. Soft snores left his lips as he slept soundly. You smiled to yourself when he nuzzled himself closer to you in his sleep, you leaned down to place a kiss on the crown of his head.

“I told you not to drink so much…” You sighed. “Merry christmas Chuuya.”

#riyugu writing #yorutenshi riyugu #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bsd #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya

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thefrontofmymind · 4 months

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12 Days of Christmas: Day 1 - Secret Santa

hello all! this is the first installment of @abiiors 's 12 Days of Christmas !!

NOTE: this is a continuation of Nothing's Changed, a oneshot I wrote a few months ago. i would say you should read it beforehand just so you know what's going on

You weren’t nervous for the faculty secret santa, you’d seen a billion listicles of good generic gifts that could fit just about any of you coworkers.

It was only as you slyly opened the folded piece of paper you drew from the box and read the name, a shock went down your spine and you broke into a cold sweat. Ross.

You could argue it was silly to get so worried. You had your lists! But with Ross…it has to be special. You had to get him something meaningful–this was your first Christmas together, and granted you’d already ordered him a stack of vintage records of albums he loved, but you knew you couldn’t flake out and get him…a box of chocolates, for example.

But you had to be careful, anything too special could set off alarm bells in everyone else’s heads. It was common knowledge that you were friends in uni, and when given the chance you would be glued to each other’s sides, but there were policies about fraternisation between colleagues and you couldn’t lose this job.

You wracked your brain from the Wednesday morning of the name draw, up until Friday afternoon trying to think of something–anything–for Ross.

“You still here?” Lou said, popping her head through your doorway. “I thought I’d be the last one out of here tonight!”

You laughed–your neighbouring drama teacher was known for spending her evenings building set pieces and readying props and costumes for whatever performance her classes were doing next. “Just…milling around…”

“What’s up?” In the few months you’d known her, it seemed Lou always had the knack for sensing when someone was off; she’d know to send a student to the school nurse just with one glance at them.

“It’s silly, really…” You trailed off.

“It’s clearly bothering you, what’s up?” She persisted, taking a seat on the desk closest to your work station at the front of the room–where Ross would sit to eat lunch with you everyday for the past 2 months.

“I just don’t know what to get my secret santa–I know it’s stupid to get all worried about it–just…you know, I need it to be perfect,” you answered.

Lou let out a sigh. “What are you doing tomorrow? We can go into town and I’ll help you find a gift.”

You breathed a sigh of relief at the idea of help. Though, how would you go about with Lou’s help without her cottoning on to the fact that the one reason you were so nervous was that you didn’t want to toe the line of co-workers and romantic partners too much around the people that couldn’t know.

“And maybe I’ll find something for my gift,” she continued. “What do you get Jimmy in Geography, anyway?”

“A map?” You joked.

“Well I imagine he probably has enough of those laying around,” Lou answered with a grin. “Who do you have anyway?”

“Ross.”

“Ah, right, I get it now…” she commented before leaving, calling out a quick ‘I’ll drop by at 10!’ as she strolled out the door.

~~~

It wasn’t as cold as you expected the next morning. The sun had come out and there was a light layer of dew over the outside frames of the windows of your flat. You could even get away with just wearing your coat with a normal t-shirt for once.

You spoke to Ross the night before–he had grading to do before the end of term so he was spending his whole Saturday in a hole in his living room, surrounded by four classes worth of history essays to read. You were grateful he didn’t ask what your plans were, you just left it at a ‘then I’ll leave you to it’ and he seemed satisfied with it.

And in a stroke of rare luck, Lou was at your doorstep at 10 on the dot, with two oat milk lattes in her hands. It was never her forte to be on time, but you were glad your morning wasn’t full of anxiously waiting around for your coworker–and now friend.

“So what are you thinking?” Lou asked as you strolled through the crowded street mall you found yourself in. She pointed to a fancy cosmetics shop. “Cologne or something maybe?”

“Not personal enough, I think,” you answered. “Why couldn’t I just get someone I don’t know anything about?!”

Lou laughed. It made you realise you may have been overthinking it just a little. You’d known Ross for years, you loved him… You just had to go with your gut.

“You and Ross are close, huh?” Lou continued after a few moments of silent strolling.

“In uni…we were inseparable,” you replied. “Like really close.”

She gave you a look, wide eyes. It was a silent question. Just how close? You gave one curt nod in response, a sign that you couldn’t talk about it, but it was clear what the answer would be.

Suddenly you felt like a weight had come off your chest. Finally you were honest to someone about Ross. You realised you didn’t have to completely hide your relationship, you just had to be careful about it. You immediately caught onto the notion that by and large you didn’t need to overthink this all; just go with your heart, and you’ll find the perfect gift for the most perfect man.

Walking past a jeweller, a gold glint caught the corner of your eye. It was a display in the window–a gold chain, not too delicate, but thick enough for you to see it immediately. You made a b-line for it without even looking to Lou. Every link interlocked with each other and laid so smoothly.

You remembered Ross wore a thin chain in university–you remembered it dangling over your face as he hovered above you, begging for him to drown you in kisses yet again. At some point over the years he must have either lost it or forgone it as a growing moment. You missed it tickling your face, hiding within his chest hair like a hidden treasure waiting to be unearthed–you got butterflies just thinking about it.

Sure, it was a little out of the price range for the gift exchange, but you always took those sorts of things as just a guideline. You and Lou walked out of the little family-owned shop with a tiny navy blue bag in your hand and a spring in your step.

~~~

You kept one eye on the small wrapped box under the tree in the staffroom during the staff party. Even though no one, bar Lou, knew what it contained, you were still worried someone would take it or misplace it or mistake it for their own gift. Through drinks and shallow conversations about your holiday plans and picking at the spread of potluck appetisers provided but almost everyone in the room, every so often you would just quickly glance to make sure it was still in it’s spot sitting atop a wrapped cylinder that you could only guess was a candle–it made you giggle to yourself to think that someone panicked and grabbed the first think they could think of, the most basic gift imaginable.

You spent most of your time glued next to Ross. He looked so…beautiful in his knitted red sweater with his hair pulled back like usual. You just couldn’t wait for him to open his gift. You couldn’t help but stare at the glint in his eyes as he chuckled along with the group at Kerry from biology’s story about her sons’ antics.

After about an hour and a half of mingling, it was finally time for the gifts. You all sat in a big circle around the staff room as Principal Janine handed out the wrapped presents. You giggled at the gag gifts, smiled at the sweet gifts, and tried to hide your confusion at gifts that were clearly some kind of inside joke you weren’t privy to.

Janine finally picked up the box for Ross. “And this one’s for…Ross!”

You could barely contain your excitement as he began to tear at the corner of the wrapping. You could tell he was being gentle with it, trying to ignore the spurs of “rip it!” from the group. He looked inquisitively at the small velvet box once it was free from the paper.

“Open it,” you whispered from beside him. You almost missed the glint in his eye as he slyly glanced at you. You knew you’d already given the game away–he knew it was from you.

The gold chain didn’t sparkle as much as you hoped under the fluorescent lights of the staff room, but it still caused a mist in Ross’ eyes just the same.

“So who do you think it’s from, then?” Lou asked with a grin–after all, she was there with you when you bought it.

“It can only be from one person, I reckon.” He smiled and placed a firm hand on the back of your shoulder.

You could’ve melted under his touch then and there. Even with all the private escapades you had gotten up to, nothing could compare to the adrenaline rush you felt at the tiniest amount of affection you could show each other in public.

“Well, I noticed you don’t wear one anymore! I thought you could get a little nostalgia from it!” You were smiling so wide, it looked like someone had stuck a clothes hanger in your mouth.

You noticed that underneath the tree was beginning to get sparse. Only about half a dozen gifts were left, you wondered which one was yours.

Janine grabbed a bulky, square-shaped, wrapped box and read the nametag on it. She joyfully passed it to you.

You couldn’t help but immediately tear the wrapping, making just an ounce of the mess you used to love making on Christmas morning when you were a kid.

It was a bottle of perfume. Not just any bottle. Britney Spears’ Midnight Fantasy. You let out a deep chuckle once you’d registered what it was–the perfume you were just about addicted to in uni, you pretty much had a stockpile running of them for your full 3 years there.

You heard a laugh from beside you. Ross had a smile just as wide as yours, his cheeks had all bunched up and he got those little creases at the edges of his eyes that you loved so much.

“Of course!” You bellowed. You realised everyone else in the room looked confused, you thought it’d be kind to clue them in. “I was obsessed with this perfume in uni, like, I don’t think I ever wore another perfume then.”

“Never! We knew you’d be coming when we could smell it while you were still a mile up the road!”

~~~

Ross’ cheeks were lit but the LED tealights surrounding your flat. You set up a picnic of sorts–inside, of course, no one in their right mind would stay outside in the freezing temperatures for longer than necessary–with an Indian takeaway.

It was small moments like this, the intimacy, that made you appreciate Ross even more. You’d thought it out and come to a conclusion; you didn’t mind that you couldn’t be all love-y with each other in public, it was the private times that counted, and with each interaction you could feel yourself falling further and further.

“I hope you like it,” you said, when discussing your secret Santa gifts–coincidentally to each other.

“Are you kidding, love? You’ll have to wrestle it off me now!” He smiled, a little wonky from the two bottles of wine you’d shared that evening.

You giggled. “I’m glad, and likewise with the perfume I…I can’t believe you remembered the exact one.”

“Of course I did!” He replied. He placed his plate on the picnic blanket that was sprawled out on your living room floor. “I actually have something else–to go along with it…”

He shifted and turned to dig through his bag, normally filled with supplies for school and his laptop. He retrieved a brown paper binded scrapbook.

“This was the-uh-second part of the gift,” he continued. “But I couldn’t quite give you this bit in front of everyone else.”

He handed you the book, and you finally got a good look at the cover. There was a picture of the two of you back from some university party back in the day–probably scoured from someone’s Facebook memories. You tried to hide your cringe at your outfit, not quite something you would wear today.

You began to flip through the pages. Photos from your year together, tickets to the films you saw at the cinema, a concert ticket or two as well. Each page had a little paragraph written right onto it in Ross’ scribbly yet concise handwriting–sometimes explaining a memory of a day in the fall when you got excited to watch Hocus Pocus with him, or a poem about snow falling down on you and resting in your hair.

You flipped to the last page, there was a lengthy letter written.

My love,

If all is going as planned, I’m watching you read this right now. I could stare at you forever, you know that?

You looked up to see Ross smiling at you, you couldn’t help but let out a schoolgirl-like giggle.

Even though you’ll vehemently deny it, the truth is you are the most beautiful sight in the world. Ever. I will never get sick of being graced by those eyes, the curve of your neck into your shoulders, your arms that you swear dangle just a little too far to be proportionate, and those hips–my word, those hips.

I could go on about your looks forever, but that is barely the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the marvel that is you. You’re always so kind, so caring, and you’re the smartest in most rooms you’re in.

For a long time I thought the only chance I had with you was gone when we split so long ago. I must’ve accrued some bloody good karma to give me a second chance at loving you. I know it hasn’t been that long this time around yet, and I know we’re bound for a hassle the longer this goes on, but I want you to know that I’m in it. Whatever it takes, you are staying in my life and there’s not a chance I’m letting you go again.

All of this to say, I love you.

Your Ross

P.S. Don’t feel pressure to say it back or anything. It’s just important that you know.

You couldn’t stop the grin on your face. There was heat spreading all across your face and neck. You realised you hadn’t looked back up at Ross yet–you just couldn’t help but re-read the last few lines of his letter. I love you. I love you. I love you.

When you finally looked back at him, you could see his smile had faltered just a little. He was worried about your response.

You tried to find the words to tell him how you felt. How perfect this all was.

“Sorry if I…overstepped,” he started. “I just had to get it out, you know? Like there was this-”

You cut him off with a kiss. A deep kiss. The kind that did all the talking for you. The kind where you didn’t care that your teeth hit each other on impact and your neck was craning in an awkward position and all of Ross’ weight was settled on one hand leaning on the carpet and it was beginning to aggravate the skin on the palm of his hand.

In the end, none of that mattered. Because you loved each other, and after so long without one another that was the most important thing in your life.

#christmas75 #ross macdonald x reader #ross macdonald imagine #ross macdonald fanfiction #ross macdonald fic #ross macdonald blurb

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thisapplepielife · 3 months

Text

Secret Santa

Written for the Second Annual Spicy Six Fanworks Challenge hosted by @thefreakandthehair.

Prompt: Office Party | Word Count: 6025 | Rating: E | CW: Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ Only | Tags: Steddie, Steve POV, The Office AU, Office Setting, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, Bathroom Sex, Mutual Assisted Masturbation, Holiday Party, Secret Santa, Background Jancy, Secret Relationship, Platonic Stobin, Platonic Hellcheer, Eddie & Gareth Friendship

Can also be read right here on Ao3.

This definitely has vibes borrowed from The Office. If you're familiar with that, you can picture Steve's desk as in the same location as Jim's.

Steve slumps behind his computer monitor at his desk, trying to make himself as small as possible. It's days like today that he really wishes their office had private cubicles instead of an open floor plan, because that'd actually give him somewhere to hide. As it is, with all of them out in the open, it means he's a sitting duck. No flimsy temporary wall to crouch down behind, no nothing at all between him and the horror that is lurking on the other side of the room.

And right now, he really wants somewhere to hide. But unless he wants to crawl under his desk, the room really doesn't offer much protection.

Honestly, he usually doesn't mind their setup at all. He likes the openness of it. He likes to see his coworkers all day. His friends. He likes to be able to talk, and yeah, to avoid work. He's nosy. He wants to see what insanity everyone else is up to every day. That always gives Robin and him things to gossip about later, and that's one of their favorite pastimes. He can look over at Robin behind the receptionist desk, and they can have long conversations with each other, using just their eyes.

They can talk about a cute new girl (or guy, if Steve's the one looking) that's been hired. They can bitch about stupid policy changes. Or a co-worker being a fool. Anything, everything.

But not today.

Today, Steve scoots down further in his chair, hoping that maybe he can make himself totally invisible, if he just wishes for it hard enough.

Because right this minute, Nancy's on the party planning warpath, and he wants no part of it. Party planning isn't anything he's ever been good at, well, beyond hosting a few laidback keggers as a teen, he supposes. Those all went as expected. But office parties? No way. That fact should be obvious to all of them after they forced him onto the party planning committee back in August, and his choices just made them all clutch their pearls.

Steve didn't know that even though there's a full list of silly, made-up holidays to choose from each month, apparently not all of those days are actually on the Nancy-approved list. Steve definitely didn't know that was an unspoken rule for the monthly morale party, so for August, he picked Work Like a Dog day, and convinced half of the office to show up in dog costumes.

Nancy Wheeler didn't find it funny. At all.

That's okay, Steve thinks it was hilarious.

If it wasn't actually an option for a party theme, then they shouldn't have put it on the goddamn list.

And what the fuck does it matter, anyway? Honestly. The monthly staff party is just an excuse to have cake, punch, and thirty minutes longer for lunch. Nobody really wants to attend these office parties, anyway. Might as well make them a little more unpredictable, a little more fun.

The theme can't possibly matter. It's all bullshit.

But now, here they are in December, and this is the annual holiday party they're talking about. Not a random monthly party. Oh no, this is the big one. The one that takes place after hours.

And to Nancy, and the rest of the party planning committee, it matters.

A lot.

So, Steve's hiding. Like a coward.

"You're such a coward," Steve hears from across his desk, a low, taunting hiss pointed in his direction.

He doesn't look in the direction of the voice, because he's smart enough to not fuck this up with any sudden movements. He's aiming for invisible, after all, but he can't resist slowly raising his hand, flipping Eddie off in slow motion.

Eddie laughs, so Steve knows the message landed, loud and clear, even if Steve never looked in his direction.

Fuck him for reading Steve's mind. Of course he's being a coward, but there's no reason to announce that fact. That's just rude.

Steve and Eddie share space, in their little group of desks. Steve sits on the end, and then there's two desks facing each other in front of him. Eddie is to his right, and it's really not so bad. Steve's had some weird fucking deskmates over the years, so much so, that having Eddie Munson at his side has been a breath of fresh air in comparison. A relief, even. Eddie's just loud, and messy.

Steve can handle loud and messy, even if Eddie's shit is apt to spill over onto Steve's desk most days, crowding him out of his own space. Steve can hold his client binder on his lap. That's no problem. Hell, he doesn't even get all that mad when Eddie gets too loud and gets them both disapproving looks. At least it's always fun while it's happening.

Gareth sits on the left, right across from Eddie, and right now he's slid down so far in his chair that he's practically under their desks, just like Steve. Smart kid, he's learning.

Steve dares to glance over and see what's happening across the room.

Nancy is leaning over Jonathan's desk, and Argyle is making faces behind her back. Nancy has eyes in the back of her head, so she definitely knows he's doing it, and Argyle is just asking for trouble. He's gonna get put on the party planning committee if he isn't careful. Which, Steve supposes, is a way better outcome than him getting recruited.

Nancy has her hand resting on Jonathan's shoulder as she talks to him, ignoring Argyle completely.

Steve isn't supposed to know that Jonathan and Nancy have been sneaking around the office, fucking in all the secluded corners of the warehouse, with far less stealth than they think they have. He doesn't blame them. He knows they don't want to go to HR and fill out the paperwork informing the company about their relationship.

Steve gets that. Because he also feels like it's none of the company's business who he fucks on his own time, and definitely wouldn't volunteer that information up willingly, either. None of them ever want to go deal with Murray for anything at all if they can help it. He asks far too many personal questions. It's always uncomfortable, and best to be avoided at all costs.

However, Steve thinks it's mighty funny that Nancy Wheeler, the rule-follower that she likes to pretend she is, is currently breaking them left and right. It honestly makes him like her even more.

And he does like her. Don't get him wrong, just not on party planning weeks. During those weeks, she's the enemy and must be wholly treated as such.

"Steve," Steve hears his name, a hushed whisper, and he turns to look at Robin sitting behind the reception desk.

He waves her off with a small hand movement. He needs to make sure Nancy has settled on haranguing Jonathan and Argyle before he dares to stick his neck out in the open.

Before Steve can say anything back to Robin, The Boss comes out of his office behind Steve's back, clapping his hands together for attention, and they all turn to look in his direction.

Bob Newby is kind of a goofball, and just a little bit doofy, but he's well-meaning. At least Steve's pretty sure he is. He doesn't seem to have a mean bone in his body. As far as bosses go, they could all do way worse.

"Hey there," Bob says, clapping his hands together again, "I told Nancy to make the holiday party this year a big one. A fun one. A special one. And to do that, Steve's gonna help her. Right, Steve?"

Well, Steve wants to strangle Bob, now. Well-meaning, his ass. He's not only mean, he's evil. He's a filthy traitor that Steve would feed to wolves given half a chance after this utter betrayal.

But Steve nods, because he's not actually gonna tell Bob no. It's not worth the pitiful face he'll get in return. Eddie is laughing, and if Steve gets the angle right, he's pretty sure he can kick Eddie in the shin under their desks without even looking.

He hits the mark and Eddie hisses at the blow, and Steve bites back a smile. Eddie had that coming, the asshole.

Then Steve has a better idea, a meaner idea, and he sits up straighter in his chair, and turns and looks right at Eddie, pointedly, "Yeah, and Eddie offered to help me!"

If looks could kill, he'd be dead, but Eddie gets what he deserves. If he wants to be a jerk, he can just help Steve out with planning this shitshow.

Bob is pleased at this though, and announces, "Great! Just don't pick anything scary, guys. I hate scary."

Steve grins, wide. That's a directive for Eddie, not him, and it amuses Steve greatly.

"Got it. Yeti and Krampus are out," Eddie says, with fake sincerity.

Chrissy squeals with delight that they are both actually willing to help with this party. Willing is definitely a stretch of the imagination, but Steve and Eddie both smile at her. She's sweet, and Steve knows Eddie will do anything she asks him to, because he's that wrapped around her little finger.

That's okay, Steve's just as wrapped around Robin's, if not more, so he can't really throw any stones in Eddie's direction about that.

Steve nods, and gives Chrissy a tight smile. They'll make this work. It looks like they have to, since they definitely lost this round of office politics.

Nancy is glaring in their direction, suspicious, "Well, fine. We'll just have to plan for every possible disaster with you two in charge."

"Hey! The dog party was a barking success," Steve yells at her, and she huffs and spins around away from him. Annoyed.

He smiles, and looks over at Eddie, and he's smiling back.

Maybe this won't be the end of the world after all.

Later, after the dust has settled, Steve leans on Robin's desk, looking down at her, disapproving. He's eating his lunch standing up at her desk, both of them sharing what they have, passing things back and forth.

Looking across the office, Steve can see into the break room, and Eddie is sitting at the closest table to the windows with Chrissy, both of them digging around in his metal lunchbox. They can leave for lunch, and sometimes they do, but most of the time they all just pack lunches and hang around. Sometimes, they'll all chip in and do a group order, running out to pick up burgers or pizza, but that takes advance planning, and that isn't exactly Steve's strong suit.

Eddie is digging around in his lunchbox, and Steve wonders what Eddie has packed in there today, pretzels, maybe a sand-

"Focus, dingus. I tried to warn you," Robin hisses, and his attention is drawn away from Eddie and his mystery lunch, when Robin taps her hand on the counter in front of him.

Steve turns to look back at her, glaring. She's his best friend, but right now, she's definitely the enemy as Bob's secretary. She could have stopped this if she'd wanted to, he's absolutely sure of it.

"You're on the party planning committee," he accuses, "and you have Bob's ear. Why didn't you make this go away for me?"

She wrings her hands, "I tried! Bob liked your dog party!"

Well, Steve has to laugh at that. That's what he gets for being smartass, he supposes. He tried to poke Nancy with a stick so he'd never have to have a turn at party planning ever again, and inadvertently just ended up coming across as a fun party planner to Bob.

Goddamnit. That was not the desired effect he'd been hoping for.

So, now he's stuck. And this is his own fault, it seems. But at least he took Eddie down with him. That's the silver-lining, for sure.

Steve will make it work. It's only a week of hell. He can survive a week.

"Trust me, we tried. None of us wanted you in charge again," Robin snaps.

"Hey!" Steve shouts back, offended, and she just laughs.

"Seriously. Nancy has standards, expectations, and dog parties aren't part of the playbook."

Steve smiles, "Well, I guess I should be left off any committees from now on."

"No such luck," Robin snarks, "but Nancy, Chrissy, Barb and I will definitely make sure whatever you two try to plan isn't dog party levels of weird."

"Gee, thanks. If you want to micromanage it, why don't you just do it yourselves? Wouldn't that just be easier for everyone involved?"

Robin shrugs, "Just make Bob happy. It's Christmas."

"Yeah, yeah," and Steve glances back, looking for Eddie again, and now he's sitting there playing finger football with Gareth as Chrissy watches. Both of them flicking a paper triangle back and forth across the break room table, trying to hit field goals through each other's finger goal posts.

That's about the extent of any sports that either one of them has ever played, Steve's pretty damn sure.

Gareth, the new kid, started a while back, and Eddie took to him immediately. Steve has tried not to be jealous. But it was hard. He still kind of wanted Eddie and his attention all to himself, as selfish as that sounds.

But he's had to learn to share, both Eddie and their desk space with Gareth, and he's watched as Eddie has tried hard to shape Gareth into a good salesman.

Robin's desk phone rings, and she picks it up, and he takes that as his cue to walk away. He heads towards the break room, and leans in the doorway, watching them play.

"I've got winner," Chrissy says, "but you can take on the winner of that match, if you want."

Steve nods and smiles, and walks on in, sliding into the only remaining chair left at the table.

When four-thirty rolls around, Bob comes over and sends Steve and Eddie off to start planning this party they are now in charge of together. At least they get a half-hour of paid nonsense time, Steve guesses.

So, now they sit in the empty meeting room at the long table, and just look at each other.

Finally, Eddie breaks the silence.

"Okay, smart guy, what's your big plan this time? Cat party?" Eddie asks, raising an eyebrow, challenging Steve.

"Yep. Pussy party," Steve says, deadpan, and Eddie tosses his head back and laughs, hair flying.

Work has definitely been more entertaining since Eddie Munson showed up last year, all long-hair and lackadaisical attitude. Eddie doesn't conform to any sort of standard expectations, won't, but he can sell like a motherfucker. He has a silvertongue that Steve only wishes he possessed. Steve can sell, too. But he has to lean heavily on being earnest. That's his angle.

But it's not Eddie's. No, Eddie can just bullshit his way through sales with anyone on the fly, easily meeting his quota and walking away with a damn good commission check every payday, and that hardly seems fair. Steve's been here forever, but Eddie took to it so much quicker.

"Pussy hats for everyone, and the party favors? Pocket pussies," Eddie states, still exploring this party idea with a shit-eating grin, and it makes Steve giggle.

If only.

Though, this still might be fun to plan together, even if that can't actually be the theme. Nancy would murder them both.

They better do something safe, like Secret Santa. Bob always likes that, and this is really for him more than it is the staff, Steve's pretty damn sure.

They can just go traditional, make everyone happy and save themselves a lot of grief.

That doesn't mean they won't sit here and bullshit, like they are really talking this thing through in great detail.

"Secret Santa? That's the theme?" Robin asks later, clearly disappointed.

"Classic. Easy peasy," Steve says, leaning on the tall counter that runs around her desk. He's waiting for her to finish up so they can leave together.

Tonight, they're all going to happy hour at Chili's. They do that from time to time. Most of the office meeting up after work to drink and let loose.

"Lazy, uninspired," she taunts, and he reaches out like he's going to flick her ear, but she dodges his hand, laughing. "Bob's gonna be disappointed in you."

"He won't. He'll love it," Steve says, and Robin knows it. She's just being difficult. "Will you make up the slips so we can draw names, or not?" he asks, trying to give her the eyes. They don't really work on her, not anymore. But he still tries.

"Fine, but this is not fun. I was expecting dog party levels of unhinged theming from you both. You disappoint me."

"You love me," Steve counters.

"Of course I do, dingus. Now leave me alone so I can finish up and we can get the fuck out of here."

He presses his hands together, bowing to her, just a little, and then heads back to his desk. Eddie is still on the phone, wheeling and dealing, like a pro.

Making money, even after hours.

Asshole.

Gareth is sitting at their desks, watching Eddie with wide eyes.

"He's good, right?" Steve asks, and Gareth nods. "It's okay if it's hard to make sales, especially at first. It's hard for all of us, except Eddie. But he's a freak."

Eddie hears him, and sticks his tongue out, not missing a beat of his phone call.

"You'll get better. I promise," Steve says, turning to look at Gareth.

Gareth nods again, and Steve smiles. Steve was probably not that much younger than him when he started working here, and it looks so young now, seeing it on Gareth. He never thought he'd still be here, all these years later.

But he's made friends here, good friends. His best friend. If he never worked here, he'd never have met Robin, and that'd be a goddamn tragedy.

And he met Eddie, so honestly, he doesn't have too many complaints.

Turns out, Nancy loves the Secret Santa theme, which Steve isn't surprised about. It's right up her alley. Normal, basic, a classic. No dog costumes to be found.

"What's the price limit?" she asks, holding her notepad in hand, and Steve looks at her. Is he supposed to decide that? He feels like that's a job for her, or maybe even Bob.

"Twenty-five dollars?" he offers, and she thinks about it for a minute, then nods, writing it in her notes, apparently agreeing with his assessment.

Great.

"And, is it a traditional Secret Santa where we draw names, or a white elephant situation?"

"Um, traditional?" he hazards a guess and she nods, happy. Apparently that was the right answer, again. He's on a roll today. Hot damn. Maybe he needs to buy a lottery ticket.

Steve sits at the high top table at Chili's, sharing an Awesome Blossom with Robin and drinking his third margarita. Eddie didn't show up. Steve is pretty sure he said he was coming, but now Eddie, Gareth, Chrissy, Jeff and Goodie are all no-shows.

That's okay.

But he would have gone home instead of coming himself if he knew Eddie was bailing. Not that he isn't enjoying spending time with Robin and everyone else, he is, but still.

He raises his finger, ordering one more drink. Robin's definitely gonna have to drive him home.

The next morning, Nancy drops off a list of party vendors for him to call, and Steve pushes it towards Eddie. He's the one with phone magic.

And Steve's a little hungover. Eddie's not.

Not to mention Steve's still a little mad at Eddie for deciding to skip happy hour without telling him.

"Hey, don't be pushing your chores off on me," Eddie says, pushing it back across the desk in Steve's direction.

They both push on the paper, in a stalemate, wrinkling it under their fingers.

Steve gives him the eyes, "C'mon. You know you'll have better luck. We'll get an awesome cake, and a great meat and cheese plate if you call. You know it."

"Which is ironic, because if the little old ladies working could see me, and then see you, it'd be you they'd be falling over themselves to please," Eddie says.

Steve rolls his eyes. Little old ladies love Eddie, at least after they look past his clothes and hair. He's too charming for them to not love him. He's got a chivalry that is innate, and Steve doesn't have that at all. He likes to think he's nice, but he's not as charismatic. The Harrington Charm is a different beast than whatever Eddie has going on, that's for damn sure.

Eventually, Eddie takes the paper, and picks up the handset of his phone, and starts dialing the first number, and Steve just grins, pleased.

He listens, and tries to ignore the dull headache that's plagued him all morning.

When Eddie hangs up the phone, he looks at Steve, "Shoulda came to Poor Richard's with us, like you said you would, and then you wouldn't have a hangover from all that chain restaurant cheap well tequila."

Steve glowers at him. They've been over this fifty times. Nobody said they were going to Poor Richard's last night. It was Chili's, and the fact that everyone else showed up at Chili's except for Eddie and his friends, is all the proof Steve needs.

Eddie didn't listen, and they ended up at different bars.

But Steve forgives him as he keeps making calls, and before long they have everything in order for next week's party.

And a week later, they all sit around in a circle of chairs like they're kindergarteners, which feels foolish. But Bob is clearly having fun, dressed in his full Santa suit, as he pulls the wrapped packages out of the bag and passes them around to their rightful owners.

It's fine. Lots of generic gift boxes. Hot cocoa samplers. Summer sausage and cheese gift sets. Blankets, mugs, candy. A foot bath. Just stuff. More things that nobody really needed, Steve's sure, but it makes Bob happy, so they all at least pretend to be excited about whatever they've gotten.

They all thank their Secret Santa, and it's all very normal. Boring. So boring.

But Steve has a plan for later that he thinks won't be quite as boring as this has been.

The gifts all opened, Steve holds open the plastic trash bag as Eddie picks up the wrapping paper off the chairs, the floor. Tidying up while the rest of the committee goes and starts getting the bar set up.

Steve isn't sure how Bob swung it, but they actually get to serve alcohol this year.

Jeff and Goodie volunteered to play bartender, and that's great with Steve. He was sure he'd get stuck doing it, with Eddie's help if he was lucky. But this is better. Way better. They'll be able to just enjoy themselves.

As soon as it's up and running, Steve and Eddie are first in line for a drink. Steve goes easy on them, but Eddie's trying to order things they definitely don't have the supplies for. The budget was limited and they decided to stick to the most popular basics.

Goodie listens to Eddie lists off his third try at an elaborate drink order, and then just pours Eddie a Jack and Coke.

"Just what I wanted," Eddie says, picking it up with a snarky grin.

They're a few drinks in, and the music has been turned up, when Steve nods towards Eddie, ready to slip away during the confusion. Steve shakes a wrapped gift in his hand, and Eddie quirks an eyebrow, curious, and follows him out into the hallway. They ride the elevator up one floor in silence, and then Steve leads Eddie into the empty bathroom on the floor right above their office space.

They can hear the thumpa thumpa of the music down below, feel it vibrating beneath their feet. Gareth and Argyle have teamed up to play DJ, and Steve is sure Nancy hates the music choices. They definitely aren't playing classic Christmas tunes, that's for damn sure.

Steve pushes the wrapped gift into Eddie's chest, and Eddie sits his drink down on the sink.

"What is this?" Eddie asks, looking down at the gift in his hands. He wasn't expecting it, clearly.

"Well, I didn't draw your name for the official Secret Santa, but I still wanted you to have your party favor," Steve says, trying to keep a straight face. This is a ridiculous thing to do. Especially at work. "Open it."

He watches while Eddie tears off the wrapping paper, throwing it onto the bathroom floor, and then Eddie's looking down at the fleshlight he's holding in his hands.

And he promptly blushes a deep crimson.

Holy shit.

Steve had no idea that Eddie could blush. Maybe this wasn't a great idea. Maybe he's about to lose his job for sexual harassment at work. At Christmas, no less.

Then, Eddie laughs. Loud and amused, eyes lighting up.

"Well, there's a first time for everything, I guess," Eddie says, turning over the toy in his hands, walking into the open stall. Steve follows.

"Not a sex toy guy?" Steve asks, crowding a little closer to him.

"Not a pussy guy," Eddie answers, then laughs, "I thought you knew that, Steve."

Yeah, Steve knew that. But he pretends he didn't.

"Oh no, do they make pocket assholes? Maybe we could exchange it, get you what you really like," Steve teases.

And Eddie grins, dimples showing, as he presses the toy back into Steve's chest, and Steve takes it.

"This one is just my favorite, and I thought you might like it," Steve says, looking Eddie right in the eye, standing nearly nose-to-nose in the cramped bathroom stall.

And Eddie is looking back at him, with an expression Steve can't really read. It looks like he's maybe surprised Steve is cool. Which is crazy. Steve's cool. Steve's been fucking guys since he was in college, girls even earlier than that. He's not really all that fussed about it. Boys, girls, both at the same time, once.

That was an interesting night, to be sure. Not one he expects to repeat anytime soon, but it's definitely an experience he's glad he had.

Steve holds the toy in his hand, studying it carefully, and then he looks up into Eddie's eyes.

"You wanna try it?" Steve asks, raising his eyebrows in question.

"Now?" Eddie asks, dropping his voice low, sounding shocked at this suggestion.

Steve shrugs, and Eddie eventually nods, slowly.

"Yeah. Yeah, let's do that," Eddie says, putting both of his hands on Steve's arms, squeezing.

"Are you sure you want to do this here? I was just kidding," Steve asks, even if he wasn't, not really. But he still wants to make sure this is something Eddie is actually interested in doing with him, here and now, and not something he's pushing onto him like a big, fucking creep.

Eddie nods and smiles, so Steve presses him back against the wall of the bathroom stall, Steve's palm firm on Eddie's shoulder. He hands the fleshlight back to Eddie, and digs a packet of lube out of his pocket, handing that over, too.

Steve reaches for Eddie belt, his zipper, and carefully, slowly, undoes his pants. Pulling them down over his ass, boxers going down with them, and then he's just looking. Staring. Wanting.

Eddie's already drizzled lube into the opening of the fake silicone pussy, so Steve takes it from him. Steve doesn't touch Eddie's dick, although it's straining, red and flushed at the tip, begging for Steve's undivided attention.

And as much as Steve wants to give it that attention, wants to drop to his knees, throw the toy aside and suck Eddie's dick, he doesn't.

Instead, Steve grips the pocket pussy in his hand, and angles it, lining it up as best he can. He nods at Eddie, and holds it steady as Eddie pushes into it. Unsure at first, but after a few test thrusts, Steve feels the pressure, the force, behind the snap of Eddie's hips with every thrust. And Steve thinks about what it'd be like if it was him Eddie was pushing his dick into, instead of this toy.

His own dick is hard, so fucking hard, just watching this happen. He can't tear his eyes away. He watches Eddie's dick go in and out.

Eddie groans, leaning forward and resting his forehead on Steve's shoulder, still moving his hips. Still fucking, still pushing his cock into the toy in Steve's hand. Again, and again.

Steve can't see now, but he can feel it. Can hear it.

It's noisy and loud, making a filthy, wet, squelching sound that sounds even more scandalous as they're hidden away in a public bathroom. Like they might get caught any second, doing this devious thing together.

Eddie winds his arms around Steve's back, and holds on tight. The action brings them even closer together, which is making it harder for Steve to maneuver his hand and the toy between their bodies, but Steve will make it work. He keeps a good grip on the fleshlight, making sure Eddie can keep moving his hips, keep pushing his dick into it, over and over again, even as he leans his weight on Steve.

"That pussy feel good?" Steve whispers, pressing his face into Eddie's hair. He smells good, and Steve leans into him.

Eddie whimpers, and nods against Steve's shirt, and Steve twists his hand, just a little, and Eddie moans.

"All pretty and pink, wet, begging for your cock," Steve whispers. "It's a pretty cock, you've got. You know that?"

He just yammering, and he's pretty sure Eddie isn't even listening. That's okay, Steve's happy to do the heavy lifting here.

"I bet it feels good. All tight, hugging your dick the whole way down.. Are you pretending it's a girl?" Steve asks, then lowers his voice, right next to Eddie's ear, "Or are you pretending it's me?"

Eddie's hips stutter, and then he pushes harder against Steve's hand.

"Steve," Eddie breathes out, and Steve smiles.

"I'd bend right over for you," Steve says, "beg you to push your cock in me."

Steve can tell by the change in Eddie's breathing that he's getting close to coming. Goddamn. That's a pretty sight and sound.

Steve's own dick is straining in his pants, wanting.

"Would you come inside me?" Steve asks, and that's it. Eddie groans, and pushes his dick into the toy as far as he can, coming. Steve presses his face in Eddie's hair, kissing the side of his head.

Eddie pulls back from Steve's body, and then slides his dick out of the toy with a sloppy, wet sound, and they both laugh. Steve looks down at Eddie's heavy cock, spent and wet, and wants. Wants to put his mouth on Eddie, wants to lick him clean.

He thinks he will, but Eddie interrupts his thoughts.

"You want sloppy seconds?" Eddie asks, and Steve nearly comes in his pants as he nods.

That's not something he had thought of, but he hands the toy to Eddie, and reaches for his own zipper. He pulls his neglected dick out, palms it, strokes it. It's so hard. Eddie's made him so fucking hard, so horny, he can't even think straight.

"Look at you, big boy," Eddie says, and he doesn't keep his hands to himself. He strokes Steve once, twice, and then helps guide him into the used toy.

It's still kind of warm inside, sloppy and wet with Eddie's come, and Steve feels like a deviant, but doesn't really give a fuck. Not really.

Because this is good.

So goddamn good.

Eddie presses his mouth to Steve's, and they kiss while Steve thrusts into the toy in Eddie's hand, and it's one of the dirtiest things he's ever done in his whole life.

Steve's just getting into a nice rhythm, when Eddie takes the toy away, and replaces it with his mouth. Goddamn, that's better. That's so much better.

Eddie pulls off, and looks up at him, "You taste like me."

Steve groans, letting his head fall back against the metal wall of the stall, closing his eyes as Eddie sucks his dick, then slides it back into the fleshlight, alternating. Dragging this out, extending it, and it's beyond anything he could have ever dreamed up.

He had a small idea, a basic one, and Eddie has taken that and crafted it into a fucking experience of a lifetime.

Steve tangles his hands in Eddie's hair, and looks down to meet Eddie's eyes, as he continues to work his cock, over and over.

"You gonna come in my mouth or in the pussy?" Eddie asks, hand stroking Steve's dick lazily, looking up at him for an answer. He wants both. How can he choose?

But if he doesn't choose, he's gonna come in Eddie's hand. Still good, but a distant third among the options available.

"Your mouth," Steve finally says.

"Good choice, Harrington," Eddie answers, and slides his mouth over Steve's dick again, and again, until Steve can't hold out any longer.

He comes right against Eddie tongue, and Eddie pulls off, looks up at him, and swallows.

Merry Fucking Christmas to him. Jesus.

They straighten their clothes, try to smooth out all the wrinkles, and Eddie takes a gulp of his now watered down whiskey sitting on the bathroom counter, swishing it in his mouth, and spitting into the sink.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Steve asks, holding the wet and freshly washed fleshlight in his hand.

"Take it home. Use it later and think of me," Eddie says, holding out the box Steve had wrapped it in.

Steve puts it back, and takes the box from Eddie's hands.

He'll do just that.

Eddie pushes him against the bathroom door, and kisses him again, and this is the best night of Steve's life, he's pretty goddamn sure.

They ride the elevator down, and when they're back in their own office, Steve shoves the now unwrapped box into his desk drawer and follows Eddie back towards the rest of their partying co-workers.

Their friends.

Eddie starts bouncing on his feet, dancing with Chrissy and Steve smiles as he watches. Everybody seems to be having fun, and Steve decides this was a success.

Later that night, long after the party had winded down, Steve crawls into bed at home, and curls into Eddie's side.

"Have fun tonight?" Steve asks, and Eddie runs his hand up and down Steve's arm.

"Yeah, I especially liked the part where my boyfriend acted like we've never fucked before," Eddie says, throwing his leg over Steve's hip.

"Very funny."

Eddie laughs, "We're gonna have to file our relationship with HR sooner or later. I'm pretty sure my poker face is horrendous, and they're gonna figure it out."

Steve nods. He knows. Though, he's pretty fucking everyone in the office knows already, anyway. Gareth clocked them his first week, not realizing it was a secret. So, it's obvious. Eddie loves him, and Eddie can't hide that look on his face, not at all. It makes Steve so fucking happy that Eddie feels that way about him, like he loves him so much that he can't pretend he doesn't.

That they love each other this much.

So, they're gonna have to fess up. That's okay, he doesn't actually give a shit. They aren't gonna fire him, and they definitely aren't gonna fire Eddie. He's unorthodox, but he brings in tons of cash and clients.

And they're just co-workers, there's nothing saying they can't be together.

"I can't believe you wrapped your pocket pussy and dragged it to work," Eddie laughs, burying his nose in Steve's hair.

Steve grins.

"Surprised you, though?" Steve asks, turning his head, to smile at Eddie.

"Definitely surprised me," Eddie answers, grinning right back.

Notes: Nancy seem familiar? Yeah, she was definitely inspired by Angela from The Office, with that party planning committee vibe, lol. I needed someone to be that character, and Nancy seemed more likely than Robin or Chrissy. And the "prepare for every possible disaster" line is a Angela-ism, from the S2 ep, as told by Ryan. I like to think Dwight, or a Dwight-like character, was Steve's deskmate before Eddie.

And Nancy and Jonathan's whole secret (Dwight and Angela style) relationship random mention was added just so I could accurately tag secret relationship, but that it might slip past that I was also referring to Steve and Eddie, lol. Could you have known they were together before Steve did the sex toy thing? For sure. Was it more fun for me to imagine, just for a second, that he was just being very forward and inappropriate with co-worker Eddie who wasn't expecting it? Of course.

Work Like a Dog day is August 5th if you want to add to your calendar, lol.

Bob! ❤️ I think this might be the first time I've had a place to use him in a fic.

Chili's and Poor Richard's were both shout-outs to The Office, many thanks to them for lending me their set-up for this fic. As soon as I chose this prompt, The Office, was the first idea in my head.

And trying to pin down the exact year this is set in made my head hurt. It must be, like, 1999. Then fleshlights exist, but cell phones aren't glued to our hands quite yet. But pussy hats are much more modern. But then Awesome Blossoms are discontinued. I don't know. It's an alternate universe. Go with it. 🤣

Thanks for reading! ❤️

#SpicySixWinterFanworksChallenge #steddie #steddie ficlet #the office au #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things fic #christmas fic #holiday party #secret santa #thisapplepielife: short fic

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