#all dogs deserve to live forever
What is it about supernatural or fairytale shows not really caring about their werewolves!
It's the same frustrating problem in the vampire diaries universe. They have such fascinating hierarchical structures! And with OUAT with Ruby!
So many fascinating things to be done with them!
I don't know!! Werewolves are so much fun, because there is a dual nature going on and you can tell tragic stories, fun stories, horror stories. People not knowing they are werewolves, who are the cutest of sweethearts and oops tearing people apart. The wolf nature lurking under the human surface, trying to fit in with humans, having a special place in the monster world. They don't need to feed like vampires do. Being guided by the moon though, NATURE dictating their lives like that.
Shall we blame Twilight? (Imprinting on an infant, omg...) Also I am 200% NOT here for the a/ b/ o dynamics. So it's still funny I had to endure those words while watching Teen Wolf. A show about werewolves. Where the werewolf lore was weird sometimes. (And suddenly everybody had blue eyes...) But that was a mess of escalating myths all around.
Oh, we should also callout Buffy for being an offender. Oz was such a cutie. And then they didn't do anything with his lycanthropy. Until a female werewolf showed up to get him exited..... no! Bad dog! Down! Don't want! (I mean, I am not against say Ruby stupidly smiling because she catches the scent of her favorite person... but... not like that?!)
The werewolves on True Blood seemed cool. And then got tossed aside. And somewhat reduced to brutish man gang... can we have more loving packs of people? Can we get the inherit queerness of the concept back?! Of trying to find the people you fit in with?! MAKE IT GAY!!! (let me scoff at Teen Wolf again, even though I will forever love Scott McCall becoming the True *sighs* Alpha we deserved, and having his pack consist of more than wolves, because the mentality is not about that specific animal... oh no, now I miss Lydia again...)
I need mean werewolf ladies who turn feral in the light of the full moon, still bound to the people she loves and fighting for them on pure instinct. But stop making them stupid animals in contrast to sophisticated vampires. And also if you use them, give them nuanced lore and stick to it!
No really, why did a show that is based 95% around Disney princesses think they could add a WEREWOLF and were surprised that the concept clashed a little bit?! Frankenstein was underused and later on I was excited about Jeckyll & Hyde and not at all surprised that this went nowhere... *sigh*
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rp memes taken from clockwork angel by cassandra clare part three. change pronouns as desired / necessary.
“ I had the most ordinary, the most human, upbringing imaginable. “
“ people keep secrets, sometimes even from the ones they love.”
“ that my life before had been real and this was a dreadful nightmare.”
“ but now I cannot help but wonder if perhaps the life I had before was the dream and all this was the truth.”
“ then there is no world I can go back to that will be clean of all this.”
“ you have a power of incalculable value. you need ask nothing of anyone. you need depend on no one. you are free, and that freedom is a gift.”
“ it is hard to think of something as a gift when you have been tormented and imprisoned for it.”
“ whoever loves you now — and you must also love yourself — will love the truth of you.”
“ your impatience, is most unladylike.”
“ no need to give too much of a shock to their hoary old constitutions.”
“ how unfortunate that the prospect of your gratitude is not a tempting one.”
“ goading _ into single combat — that’s like punishing a dog after you’ve tormented it into biting you.”
“ no one expects _ to live past nineteen, and no one will be sorry to see _ go, either —“
“ i, would rather have my entrails yankee out and tied in a knot infront of my own eyes then apologize to such a worm.”
“ do you think i should have told him I missed him?”
“ one would think you brought us here to murder us, if it weren’t that your motivations for doing so seem cloudy at best.”
“ did you know she propositioned me once?”
“ it was all very scandalous. I might have acceded to her demands too, if she didn’t frighten me so much.”
“ a serious social gaffe could mean instant death.”
“ sometimes, when I have to do something I don’t want to do, I pretend I’m a character from a book. it’s easier to know what they would do.”
“ there’s a rather racy bit about cogs halfway through, but really most of it is rather dry.”
“ perhaps I underestimated you. perhaps you will destroy me. but I will bring you with me —“
“ you might want to clean the rest of the blood off your face before you continue arguing in that vein.”
“ maybe i want a black eye, did you think of that?”
“ are you implying that shreds of my reputation remain intact? clearly i have been doing something wrong. or not doing something wrong, as the case may be - “
“ you know, i cannot function as your missing sense of self-preservation forever. eventually you will have to learn to manage without me.”
“ if your point is that there was a pretty girl in the room and it was distracting you, then I think I’ve taken your point handily.”
“ he’s downright nasty when he’s like this.”
“ you never laugh, you behave as if everything is funny to you, but you never laugh.sometimes you smile when you think no one is paying attention.”
“ it’s all right to love someone who doesn’t love you back, as long as they’re worth you loving them. as long as they deserve it.”
“ you’re thinking, if they call this damp nastiness summer, what must winter be like ? you’d be surprised. winter’s actually much the same. it’s spring that’s really lovely.”
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Go to the ends of the earth for you - Part 5
And it's finished. What was a oneshot redo of *that* episode turned into a series. Thank you for all the lovely comments and I hope the final part lives up to the rest.
The next morning he leaves Seb with Vic and heads up to the surgery. Robert’s meeting his Gran’s solicitor again so he hopefully won’t ever have to know about any of this . It feels like a lifetime since he lived here, since he felt he could turn to Paddy and know he’d always be there for him.
“Aaron. What are you doing here?” Belle’s smiling as he walks in and he nods.
“He’s just finishing up with a patient but he’s got a few minutes after that.”
“That’s all I’ll need. You might want to get a coffee while we chat.” Belle raises her eyebrows but nods. It’s well known what’s happened between him and Paddy and Belle knows more than most having listened to him a lot while Robert was away and she’d been helping with Seb.
It’s not even five minutes before Paddy sees out a young woman with a yapping dog, stuttering when he sees Aaron waiting. Belle hands him a few messages before she all but bolts out of the door.
“Aaron…I didn’t…how are you?”
“I’d be a lot better if you’d keep your mouth shut about Robert.” He watches as Paddy struggles to find a response. “Don’t bother trying to deny it. I know you’ve been sounding off to all and sundry about him.”
“He’s bad for you Aaron, the sooner you see that the better. He’s turned you against your family, don’t you see that.”
“Oh not this again! Paddy, I married him twice! I went on the run for him. I know everything there is to know about him, and I love him. You and Mum are the only ones with a problem. Everyone else is happy for us.” He shoves his hands in his pockets, fists clenched and he blows out a breath. “I’m not getting into this again, I just came to tell you to stop.”
“You can’t tell me who I can and can’t talk to.”
“I can when my four year old is in tears because he heard you, when he thinks his Dad will be sad because of you. I don’t care what you think anymore, but I will not have that little boy upset.”
“Aaron.” It’s so quiet he barely hears it in his anger but Paddy’s scoff of disgust has him turning to see Robert in the entrance to the surgery. “Leave it, it doesn’t matter.”
“Yes it does. I’m not havin’ him talking about you like that, or Seb hearing it.” He turns back to Paddy. “Just leave us alone, and keep your opinions to yourself around my son.” He stalks out, leaving Robert to catch him up.
“Oi, hang on. Aaron, wait.” Finally he stops, staring into space, not meeting Robert’s eyes. He couldn’t work out if he was angry at him or not. “What was that about.”
“Seb. He…last night he was upset because he’d heard Paddy talking, spouting the same nonsense about you. He didn’t want to go to nursery because he thought you’d be sad.” Robert doesn’t say anything, just stares at the ground. “He’s fine now. I told him I’d sort it.”
“This is all my fault, isn’t it? Seb shouldn’t be worrying about me. He’s four!”
“Yeah and he loves his Dad. None of this is your fault. It’s his.” He jerks his head towards the surgery. “His and Mum’s for being so blind that they can’t see how great you are, how much better my life is because of you.”
“I don’t deserve you.” He shrugs. “I mean it. Anyone else would’ve washed their hands of me ages ago and here you are going all Rambo on me and all but threatening Paddy.”
“Pfft, I didn’t threaten him. Anyway how did you know where I was.”
“Solicitor changed the meeting. I saw Belle in the cafe and yes you pretty much did. You do realise he’s just going to hate me all the more now.”
“Yeah well, we won’t be here forever will we?” They’d all but decided they were definitely moving, it was just a case of getting everything sorted and waiting out Robert’s time on license. “And don’t go all they’re your family on me. If they cared about that then they’d be on my side. You’re my family, you and Seb, you’re all I need…and I think I want to go get our son and get out of this place for the day. What do you say?”
“Sounds good to me. I love you, you know.”
“I know. Love you too. Now come on."
“You know this isn’t bad.” Robert told him after the first mouthful. He’d cooked something a bit more complicated than usual after their day out. They’d taken Seb to the local petting zoo, even though most of the animals could be found up at Moira’s farm. He’d loved it, and hadn’t wanted to leave even though he was already tired and starting to fall asleep in Robert’s arms. Now all they had to do was get him fed and in bed. Seb really wasn’t one for complicated dishes, he’d live on dinosaur nuggets if he could, but getting him to help cook every so often had meant he promised to at least try new food.
“Thanks, I think.”
“Well you admit yourself that cooking isn’t your thing.”
“Dada learned with Uncle Marlon, on the ‘puter.” Seb pipes up, mouth full of pasta.
“Oi, close your mouth, you heathen and that was meant to be a secret.”
“You took cooking lessons?” Robert’s far too amused and Aaron childishly feels like flicking a piece of pasta at him to shut him up.
“There was a poster in the cafe, Marlon was doing these online lessons so I gave it a go. The kid needed feeding.” He tells him, tickling Seb and making him giggle. “I’m quite happy to pass the cooking back over to you now.”
Later when Seb’s finally in bed they can talk. The little boy is like a sponge, soaking up everything anyone says so they’re learning to leave any important conversations until he’s out of earshot. He’s stretched out on the sofa, Robert beside him and it’s just nice to be able to sit together and not have to say anything.
“I was thinking…about the house.” He’s not sure how to broach the subject, Robert’s been reluctant to talk about it since they’d got home from the solicitor’s office.
“Mmm, and what did you thunk?”
“Idiot. We always mention France when we talk about leaving, but we don’t have to go there…if you wanted to keep it.”
“You want to live in my Gran’s house?” Aaron can’t make out if he’s angry or not. “And what would we do for work?”
“Well last I checked they did actually drive cars in Spain. We’ve got the haulage, maybe you could open up an office there. I don’t know, it was just a thought.”
“You mean it don’t you?”
“I’m not fussed where we live. All I’m saying is, we don’t have to live in France. If you wanted to keep the house we could use it, at least for a while. Or if you want to sell it, then it doesn’t matter. You’ve not said anything about it.”
“I still don’t know why she left it to me. I never went there. She moved after the last time I visited, and well…”
“She loved ya. I know your family is…complicated but she was your Gran and if she wanted you to have it then just accept that it’s what she wanted.”
“I know…it’s just…” He twists so he’s facing him. “It’d solve a lot of problems though wouldn’t it, living there, or using the money.”
“Well it’d save me having to face Liv at the very least. Do you know anything about it, is it even suitable for the three of us?”
“Hang on.” He struggles to his feet, legs tangled with Aaron’s. “The solicitor gave me some details, there’s photos.”
He hands them to Aaron before settling back down beside him. He’d barely looked at them when he’d been given them, still a little stunned at the whole business. The house looked nice though, the decor wasn’t his taste but it would be easy enough to update. There was plenty of room and it was only a stone’s throw from the beach. Seb would love it.
“What do you think?”
“Looks nice. We could give it some thought, maybe go out there for a few days to see. You should be able to do that yeah?”
“I can find out. Be nice to get away for a few days, just the three of us.” He sighs. “You’re really sure aren’t you? I know I keep asking but…don’t just agree to this move for me. It has to be what you really want.”
“It is. I mean it. I want this to be a new start, me, you and Seb. Away from everything.”
“Where’s Sugden then?” Cain asks him the next day. They’re in the pub for lunch, tucked away in the corner where he can at least pretend his Mum isn’t watching his every move with that now familiar look on her face.
“He had a meeting. He should be here in a minute.”
“And he’s alright, being out and that.” He looked up from his pint, expecting Cain to be teasing or something but he genuinely looks concerned.
“He’s getting there.”
“Who’s getting where?” Robert asks, having snuck up on them, slipping into the seat beside Aaron, kissing him hello.
“Cain was just asking how you were getting on. So, how did it go.”
“It’s fine. We can go, just for a few days.”
“Where are you off to?”
“We’re going to take a look at the house his Gran left him. In Spain.”
“Nice. You going to let it out then? Should fetch in a bit.” Aaron rolls his eyes, not really knowing how to answer. He looks at Robert, a silent conversation, before he answers.
“We’re thinking of living there.”
“What!” He jumps at his Mum’s voice right behind him and wants to kick himself.
“So he’s not only causing trouble between you and your family, now he’s dragging you away from the village. Again!” Aaron can see Cain rolling his eyes at his sister and he opens his mouth to answer but she’s not finished. “You just can’t help yourself can you. All along you’ve been causing trouble and now you’re taking him from me.”
“Mum…” He starts but Robert puts a hand on his shoulder as he gets to his feet.
“You know what Chas, I’ve had about enough. Since Aaron and I got together properly I’ve done nothing but try and fit in with you and your family. I’ve done your accounts for nothing, helped behind the bar and goodness knows what else. I looked after Noah as well as Liv when you and Charity both went off to Prague with Sarah. I’ve bit my tongue every time you’ve had a little dig at me since we got back together even though you and Paddy have both cheated before. I know I’ve made mistakes, some I can’t ever make up for. I know that, but you, and Paddy haven’t even given me a chance.”
“Now wait a minute.”
“No, you wait. My wedding day, I had Paddy calling me Mr Shifty, the day I proposed he said I was the worst possible person for Aaron. You might have put on a front for everyone else but I heard the comments, I know what you think of me. Frankly I don’t care. I do care when it affects my son, when it affects my husband.”
“And just how is dragging him off to Spain going to help that.”
“I’m not dragging him anywhere. It was his idea. I would’ve stayed here, put up with it all just so he could have his Mum around, because I know what it’s like not to have one, to not have that person to turn to. But you decided to cut him off when we went to France, to constantly badger him about me when he got back, and now you wonder why he doesn’t want to be here anymore. The only one ruining your relationship is you.” Aaron takes his hand as he sits down, letting him know with his eyes just how proud he is.
“Are you going to let him talk to me like that?” She turns to Cain who hasn’t moved.
“What do you expect me to do? He hasn’t said anything that’s untrue. Seems to me you and that husband of yours could do with remembering that Aaron’s an adult, not Eve’s age. Now, can I finish my pint in peace?”
Aaron manages to wait until she’s flounced back behind the bar before sniggering at his uncle. “You’re brave.”
“Ah, she’ll get over it. You listen to me, I reckon you’re doing the right thing, getting away from here and everything that’s gone on. Right proud of you I am. I know you’ll be well looked after.”
“Is that a compliment Cain?” Robert pipes up.
“You just mind you look after ‘im. I’m only a plane ride away if you don’t.”
“When you’ve quite finished, you just told Mum I’m an adult.”
“Never hurts to have a backup though does it.”
The day had finally come. Robert was no longer on license and they were free to leave the village. Aaron had got up early, wanting one last walk around the village. He’d left Robert a note, not wanting to wake him, and he found himself in the graveyard, staring down at Jackson’s grave. It seemed a lifetime ago, back when he was a different person, one who really didn’t understand love, that love would make you go to the ends of the earth for someone.
He wanders a bit further, passing by Jack’s grave with barely a glance, stopping at Sarah’s, the mother-in-law he wished he’d been able to know. He had a feeling she’d be waving them off perfectly happy if she were here. Unlike his Mum, he sighed to himself. Part of him wished they could’ve parted on good terms, or at least speaking to each other, but she’d ignored him completely since the day in the pub, her decision made.
“I’ll look after him I promise.”
“This a private conversation or can we join you?” He turns to see Robert smiling at him, Seb in his arms still looking sleepy. “You alright?”
“Yeah, just…having a last look round.”
“We can still visit you know. It’s not like before.”
“I know. Couldn’t sleep.” He looks at his watch. “We should get some breakfast or we’ll be rushing around. Why don’t you take him to the cafe and get what we want and I’ll meet you at home.”
“Is this how it’s going to be now?”
“Mmm, just one more place I need to go.” He kissed him, smiling as he walked away, waiting until they were out of sight before changing direction to the garage.
Robert’s car had been left at a service station when they’d gone on the run, and he knew he regretted leaving it behind even if it was too rare to be any good to them, too likely to be spotted. Even though they’d never expected to come home he’d asked Cain to fetch it and keep it for him just in case. Ever since they’d come back he’d been working on it, making sure it was as good as it could be before surprising Robert with it. They were flying to Spain but Cain had been convinced to drive it over with the offer of a few days holiday.
He’s sat on the bonnet outside the house when Robert comes round the corner, holding onto their breakfast with one hand and Seb with the other and he stops when he sees him.
“What…how?” Aaron picks Seb up and sits him down beside him as Robert just stands there staring.
“I know how much you love this car. Cain’s going to drive it over in a week or so when we’re settled.”
“I don’t know what I did to get so lucky.”
“You take care now love, you hear me, and keep in touch!”
“Yes Gran, promise.” He hugs her, she was really the only one he was going to miss and he and Robert had already talked about inviting her over when they were settled in.
“We should go if we don’t want to be late.” Robert tells him, having got Seb settled in his car seat. He’d said his goodbyes to Diane and Vic before, while Aaron had taken his car back to the garage.
“Yeah.” He can’t help but look towards the pub, maybe a small part of him hoping that they’d get over it and come and say goodbye. The place was all closed up though and he sighed. “Right, well, see you Gran.”
He takes Robert’s hand when he gets in, waving one last time. “Ready?”
“Let’s go.” As they drove away he realised it was the first time he was willingly and happily leaving the village, same for Robert. This time it was for the best, for both of them, and they had no one chasing them, they knew that one day if they wanted they could always come back. For now though they had a whole new life to look forward to.
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My brother has 2 cats that he has adopted, he paid a lot of money for the younger one who is not a rare or expensive breed. The people they adopted Willow (the younger one) from, they had their child ask for the cat back, but they wouldn't give the money back and it turned out they were scammers using the cat and guilt to make money. I am not saying that is what is happening here but Willow is seriously messed up cause she doesn't have any stability, it is going to be worse for the cat giving her back than the guilt for the teenage girl. You need to keep the cat, I would be more concerned about how the cat is going to fare considering how comfortable and trusting they are with you already! The cat might be hostile to the family thay gave them away, my grandad's cat was like that (he had a stroke and gave him to a cousin, then when he was home took him in and he was just not comfortable cause of the feeling of being abandoned). This is the cat's 3rd home, this is not about the teenager anymore, this is about the cat. Teenagers know right from wrong, they know what they are doing and their feelings are more developed than children- I once had to console a 5 year old over Sonic the Hedgehog gettinf hurt in a tv show at work whilst a girl pretended to be a cat in front of me. If anything, she will be okay of course she will be upset for a while, like you feel now, but they have your money they can get a new cat if they want one so bad. They made their decision and this is on them and not you
angel 💘 i’m sorry to hear about what happened to your brothers cat :/ see this is what happens when people don’t treat pets like living creatures and instead treat them like toys... the way we treat our pets can have very real consequences and if we’re not prepared to deal with a pet then we shouldn’t have one... i mean i am sure nobody would treat a human baby this way but if it’s a cat or dog suddenly it’s ok and that’s sad. our pets trust is to take care of them and so for them to do this to your brothers cat... it’s so sad and the cat doesn’t deserve that. some people are really something else and the fact that they used their child to ask for the cat back and they wouldn’t give back the money... trashy behaviour from adults. i suspected the owners of my kitten were going to do something like this too and i still don’t really know if there’s any truth to it. but regardless, it’s my responsibility to do the best thing for my kitten now that’s he’s our family member... even if it means the previous won’t be happy with my decision. because at this point, it’s about what’s best for the kitten, not us. and the kitten is safe here with us. so it’s better for us to keep him. i don’t want to put him through all of that again. i want us to be his forever home...
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a letter from my body.
My purpose is to keep you alive. Every part of me has a function, a task to complete, a job to do, all of them done for you. I am coded to build blood cells and bones and tendons and nerve endings, to take little pieces of the universe and turn them into life. Every day I struggle to keep you alive, and I am exhausted. I am doing my best, but my best isn’t what it used to be. I’m running on fumes; as much as I love you, as hard as I work, I can’t keep going like this forever. Do you remember the way the grass feels between your toes, the way the wind runs fingertips along your skin? Do you remember the sounds of cicadas drifting in through your window, the smell that comes after rain? I do. It is what I was created to let you experience. Remember the taste of that croissant freshly made at the corner café in Granada, when the trees came alive with hundreds of birds beginning to awaken, your best friend at your side as you climb the steep hill. I breathed a little faster to help you make it to the top. Don’t you want that? Don’t you want to see what the world has to offer? I was meant to move and to see and to take you where you want to go, and I can’t do that if you keep treating me in this way. Have I done something wrong? Have I done something to deserve this, something so awful you are willing to kill us both? I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong… I am trying my best. I always have. It is my job, after all, and I love you. I would do anything for you.
You’re killing me. I didn’t want to say it, but I think it’s time you knew. You’ve been ignoring my messages for months now, or has it been years? I can’t remember anymore. I tried making you hungry, I tried making you feel sick. I tried making you tired and foggy, and you ignored it all. Is everything okay? I just want to help. I’ll keep us going the best that I can.
You’re still not listening, but that’s okay. I’m still working as hard as I can. I’ve seen better days, if I’m honest. Resources are running low, I’ve had to make some sacrifices. I know you noticed your hair coming out in the shower, and how your nails always seem to be broken. Sorry, but I have more important things to take care of. It’s exhausting trying to keep everything running. Sooner or later we’re going to run out and when that day comes I don’t know what I’ll do. Help me, I’m begging you. All I’ve ever done is keep you safe, I don’t understand. I don’t understand. I don’t understand.
You need to turn this around. I am doing the best that I can, but my best isn’t what it used to be. We are headed to a place we might not come back from. You tell me I am safe now, but I can never be too careful. I just want the best for you. We are dying, and this time, this time we can do something about it, and I don’t know why you won’t listen. We don’t need to end up there again. I’m scared. I am trying so hard to let you see the world, to do what you love, to learn, to laugh, to cry, to pet fluffy dogs and sing silly songs in the car, to love and be loved, to live. Let me do this. Let me keep you alive. Let me do my job so that you can live. I can heal, I can fix this. I just need you to listen. I will never give up on you; I will always keep trying the best that I can. You are my world, my purpose. You are me. I love you, and I need us to live.
. . .
I wrote this over a year ago before my first treatment stay. today, my dietitian read it back to me in our session. I sobbed. in some ways, many things have changed, but in others? not much is different. it breaks my heart to think of the hell I have put my body through, and it would seem like making the choice to pick recovery would be clear. it isn’t. despite everything, I still struggle to make that choice. I will make that choice though, because my body deserves better. because I deserve better.
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I don’t know if you’ve seen the musical Hamilton but the song Dear Theodosia always makes me think of you writing. Is it okay to write something based off the song for any of the dads?
Took me forever to figure out which character to write this one for but it just got so obvious to me! I do hope you like what I came up with!
Jonathan had witnessed so many things out there, all the countries he ran off to in hopes of finding his escape. Autopilot for days, weeks, months and years. He somehow found his way here, not exactly sure as to how he did it but suppose life just offered him a second chance. Not exactly the type of chance that Jonathan had been expecting, he resisted it at first. Insisted that he wouldn't be good for this sort of thing and that he didn't really deserve it but perhaps all it takes is that one person. That person became two people and then three and then four. Four people and one dog, a three bedroom house with a sizable back garden currently occupied by said dog and two of the four people. Jonathan smiled, watching as the children laughed.
''Rose, don't let him get you!''
Little Rose only squealed, waddling towards the family Rottweiler. Hoping to embrace it, giving it any and all love she had while her brother effectively dodged and weaved around the garden. Jonathan sat down on the porch steps, taking it all in. Summer afternoon, the heat was beginning to go down. He watched his daughter waddle around the yard, following Sergeant. Adam had the decency to keep the dog still so his sister could pet him. Jonathan didn't believe that he had it in him to be father, he didn't have that great of a life to start with. He missed his dad a lot, thought about him most days. Passed away when he was just a child, it had been a very hollow existence after that point. Moving around to different points, surviving. College, military and soon enough hotel management. Jonathan felt his best there, he was a nobody at his hotel. Just the face of a random staff member who would be forgotten as soon as the customer turned their back to the check-in desk. Now he was here, had this whole life, a child of his own. His stepson, whom he couldn't imagine living the rest of his life without knowing. Adam was smart, athletic and very enthusiastic about his hobbies. As all kids are, there was no replacing him though.
Jonathan chuckled, Rose had been the last thing he expected to ever happen but he was so glad that she did. He believed that he'd only be Adam's stepfather and leave it that, he would've been happy with that but then life decided to breathe life back into Jonathan's life. Give him something to focus on, his kids. Taking care of them, raising them. Jonathan hadn't thought about domesticity before he met Adam's mother, she had been so kind and so patient with him. Love can really blossom in difficult and dark to manoeuvre alleyways. Adam and Rose had become his biggest achievement in his search for normalcy, he was here, he woke up everyday with a purpose. To father these children and to protect them, Jonathan vowed to never leave and run for the hills. He was here for them, his kids.
''Dad, where's Sarge's ball?!''
He smiled, duty calls.
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single dad with twins! rhys and feyre part 2?????? PRETTY PLS IT WAS SO GOOD?????????????
Nonnie, I don't know what's come over me but I am... so deep in my feels right now 🥺🥺🥺 I started out not really caring about this AU when I first read the prompt and now I am in TEARS and anyway just read it so you can be in tears too 😭
Spaghetti Part 2
Read Part 1
Rhys and Feyre date for a year before they get married. In this year, she moves into her new house and the boys learn the route and on more than one occasion run away from home to go to Feyre's house and she has to call Rhys who is FRANTIC and tell him she's got his rascals.
Rhys is nervous at first about dating but being around Feyre is so easy. And although the twins make him want to tear his hair out and he's scared he'll never have a relationship because they are so much, Feyre doesn't lose her cool at them. Ever. He's astounded by her.
Feyre takes Cass and Az on dates sometimes without Rhys. She always says that if they're going to get to know each other they have to ALL get to know each other, she chivvies Rhys off while she hangs out with his little sons. Rhys makes sure that they have flowers for her when she picks them up, and then sits in the quiet and drinks his brandy and it is finally so peaceful he could cry.
Sometimes, when Feyre has a twin tucked under each arm and they fall asleep snuggled into her, Rhys's heart breaks for them that they did not get enough time with their mother and they deserved more out of life than that.
Even though he's the parent now, Rhys sometimes feels that his sex life is awfully close to what it was like when he was sneaking around as a teenager. They have to wait until the boys are asleep, they have to be very quiet, they have to cover up fast if there's even a hint of the doorknob turning. Sometimes all Rhys wants is to fuck her against the wall and it's driving him nuts.
One day, he's so crazy with it that after he drops the twins at school he doesn't go to work, he just drives straight to Feyre's place, tells her to call in sick and then takes her right there against the door. Feyre's trying to dial and speak to her manager, but Rhys won't stop with the tongue and the fingers and she's smacking his head and covering her moans with a cough as she tells work she can't possibly make it in today.
In the end doesn't actually get to propose, because the boys do it for him. He sits them down one day, and asks how they would feel if Feyre came to live them them forever. If he were to ask her to marry him. They are so excited they get the zooms and tear around the house until one of them smacks into a wall, develops a bruise on his forehead and starts crying the house down. All Rhys can do is laugh.
He plans a whole weekend for the proposal, but the boys beat him to it. They can't keep a secret to save their lives, no matter how many times Rhys tells them it's supposed to be a surprise. It's on a day when they are both very tired and have started snapping at each other in the kitchen and Cass gets upset. He thinks that if Rhys annoys Feyre too much she'll leave them, so he runs up to her and asks her to marry them.
At first, Feyre thinks this little kid is just too cute and does not take it seriously. She gets on his level and apologises for fighting with their dad and assures him she's not going anywhere. But Cass is like a dog with a bone, and she isn't sure what's gotten into him.
Then Az runs off and gets the ring box from where he knows Rhys has been keeping it, since he's a little snoop and found it last week. He presents it to her, and Feyre just stares at him. "Where did you get this, Az?" she breathes.
Rhys can't believe what's happening. This was not part of the plan. But then Feyre looks up at him for answers, and she's crouching there on the floor with the open ring box in her hands and his kids staring up at her like their own personal god and her gorgeous blue-grey eyes are wide with questions and... well he guesses this his happening now.
Rhys sighs, and gets down on the floor. Kneels opposite her, and grabs a hold of a rascal in each arm. "Feyre?" he says, and suddenly his heart is beating so fast he think he might have a heart attack right here on the kitchen floor. "Will you marry us?"
Feyre's eyes fill with tears, she looks straight at Rhys and whispers "yes." And then chaos erupts, as Rhys forgets the children and leans in to kiss her, and the boys explode around the kitchen yelling and whooping and climbing over both of them. Feyre is laughing, and Rhys realises he's crying which he hasn't done since his sister died, and the twins are peppering Feyre's cheeks with tiny, slobbery kisses.
The pair get married in Rhys's back yard with a small circle of friends. Rhys says his vows to Feyre, then Feyre says her vows to Rhys. Then she kneels down and gives vows to Rhys's two six-year-old best-men, that she will love them for the rest of her life and never leave them until death do them part. Rhys didn't know she was going to do that, and now he is crying all over again.
Of course for dinner they all have spaghetti, and then friends take the twins for the night so Feyre and Rhys can have an actual wedding night. Rhys has strewn rose petals on the bed but in the end, after everyone has gone they are left slow dancing in the living room and make love on the couch.
Five years later, they have three boys. Cass, Az, and little three-year-old Nyx. The twins can be a little rough sometimes, but Feyre always tells them that she trusts them implicitly and then they take their big brother responsibilities very seriously. Funnily enough, it's Rhys that's the worrier in the family. Feyre tells him they'll be fine, and Rhys says, "You say that. But do you know what I just overheard? That they're going to teach Nyx to fly today."
"Don't worry," Feyre tells him. "Don't you know our boys all have wings?"
I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GOING TO GET INVESTED IN THIS AU OKAY
TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-loml @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @loosingdreams @whythefuckdoiexist @inejsarrow @swankii-art-teacher @sjmships @courtofjurdan @teddytdr @positivewitch @thalia-2-rose @darling-archeron @rapunzel1523 @fairchildjace @philosophorumaurum02 @story-scribbler @allthecolorsneverseen @asteria-of-mars
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Independent Flats in Mohali Phase-7
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from Avada Online Tutor https://ift.tt/3goXAYT
The nightmares hit Ravenpaw like the screech of monsters.
He felt it all in mocking detail. The tearing of fur, the smell of blood, the slash of his former mentor’s claws, the dull thump as Redtail’s body convulsed and finally lay still forever. The dead stare of the deputy would always be so clear to him.
All the while, he hid in the shadows, his tongue refusing to twitch, silenced by the fiery glare of Tigerstar that made his heart race so terribly.
Speak. The dark stare dared. You know what will happen.
Ravenpaw kept his jaws shut.
He knew what followed.
The chaos of dogs, torture and murder, all screeching in a symphony of discord, circling Ravenpaw like crows, synchronised in a splintered cry.
You don’t deserve to be spared
Ravenpaw would awake, and he would cry every time. Quietly, of course. The least he wanted to do was burden Barley as well with his troubles. He couldn’t show the huge Tom, the gift of a new life, just how pathetic and broken he truly was.
Especially when they were torments he deserved,
He tried to tell himself that it was over. They’d won. Tigerstar was dead and his victims had been avenged. Justice was ripe in the air and always would be.
But then he remembered the shadows he’d basked in, how it only took one look of his mentor to make his head sink away from his clan mates, how he’d kept so quiet for so long. Long enough for the damage to be done.
And then he remembered the victims.
He could see all their faces. They deserved that much. He deserved to know the name of every cat that suffered, every cat that might have been spared had Ravenpaw mustered his courage and told somecat sooner what he had seen!
But he hadn’t.
And he’d live with that every day.
Even in the barn, surrounded by the hazy sweetness of hay and the silver musk of the cat beside him, he would never escape that. He was a dark shade inside the peace of this place. He didn’t belong here.
He didn’t belong anywhere.
He’d brought this on himself.
So he cried. Cried and apologised in his mind, desperately pleading that Barley wouldn’t hear him and be roused from his sleep by the mewling of a cat who didn’t deserve the title of a Warrior.
He couldn’t do that to a cat like Barley. The one who glowed with calm compassion from his head to his tail, the one who’s eyes drank in the radiance of sunlight and offered kind flames in the darkest of nights, the one who shook away cold nights by slipping Ravenpaw into his gloriously fluffy fur, the one who’s gentle voice smoothed Ravenpaw like a soft tongue over his heart.
Barley was good and kind and everything that Ravenpaw could never, would never be. And if he ever knew what Ravenpaw was...
Ravenpaw didn’t want to imagine that beautiful face contorting into disgust.
But he soon saw it.
On a night when the nightmares came back, their claws sharpened with Ravenpaw’s crimes, a new sound saved the Tom from his punishment. He blinked into the darkness of the barn, shivering as he heard the whistle of owls ring across the shiver of the night air. But then a new sound came. Soft, watery moans strained to keep distant.
Ravenpaw knew it well. Crying. He wasn’t used to hearing it from somecat else.
Barley sat a tree-length away, his back to the apprentice, but Ravenpaw could see how much his back quivered with every tight sob.
Ravenpaw stared. Stared until Barley’s cries awoke a different kind of pain. Deep, dull and throbbing. He couldn’t stand this. To Ravenpaw, Barley was everything good in this world. He shouldn’t cry, he didn’t need to, he didn’t deserve any kind of pain.
When he was finally at the huge tom’s side, he was stunned by the snivelling apology Barely offered. He rubbed his eyes with a strong forepaw and weakly turned to smile at the dark Tom.
Ravenpaw saw the disgust in Barley’s face. But it was directed at himself. How could such a soul feel the wrath of his own loathing? Ravenpaw didn’t know what to say, he never did, and for a while he can’t find his voice, his tongue slack in a familiar sensation.
But this time, he saw the tears in Barley’s eyes.
It’s enough for him to find his voice. To simply ask what was wrong.
It takes a while, perhaps an hour of tongue bathing, soft words, and the gentle press of his fur against the the other, but Ravenpaw plucks the story from Barley. He learns that this Tom has a past of his own, faces he feels he doesn’t deserve to forget, blood that he can never wash out of his paws.
He speaks of his own nightmares, made of bones and teeth and blood and the stink of two-leg streets.
When he’s finished, Barely looks terrified and guilty and many things that Ravenpaw can understand as tormenting. He says that Ravenpaw must think he’s a monster.
The cat who gave him a new home, a new start, hope itself.
The thought never crossed his mind.
He knows who Barley is. That’s all that matters to him.
So he licks his cheek, softly consoles the large cat that begins to cry again into his narrow shoulders, doesn’t take his nose out of the soft fur for even a moment. He will stay there until Barley stops crying. And then he will tell his own story and let Barley do the comforting for him.
It wouldn’t change the past, it wouldn’t end the nightmares, they both knew that.
But at least the nights wouldn’t be so cold anymore.
They wouldn’t suffer in silence.
They could wake from the nightmares, and feel just so content in the scent of the other’s fur.
They could offer each other a new start.
A small angst/comfort slash fic of my favourite farm husbands!
Happy Pride Month Everyone!
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I Wanna Live, Not Just Survive (A Destiel coda)
Tags: 15x20 fix it, human!Castiel, earth ending, happy ending, first kiss, hurt/comfort
Series: Season 15 codas
Dean swings for the vamp. His arm’s tired. Hell, his soul is exhausted. Has been for a really long time now. Weighed down by all that happened and this more recent hollow type of living. From having to keep going for the sake of everyone they lost, but what is the point when they’re all gone? Sammy. Sam’s the point. Right. He can try to fool his brother and sometimes he wonders if he truly succeeds, because in his heart, there’s an empty. A Cas-shaped hole left behind that no drink or food can fill. An expanding emptiness for each found family member who isn’t there anymore.
So many things left unsaid, that keep rattling around in his skull. He prays them during long, sleepless nights, hoping they have a reach, while he desperately tries to make sense of how to shape this life. This free life, where free entails barely anchored.
Every time he fights, he’s aware he’s going on fumes. But he keeps going. Because Cas sacrificed himself for him. Because Sam needs him, even when he knows they need to break that cycle, but neither of them seems to know how. Because there’s his dog, Miracle, who is important when he hugs him so tight, he fears he might hurt him.
But dogs don’t live forever. And what’s left if he finds the courage to cut Sam loose so he can live the life he needs and deserves? Therapy? Working through the grief? A regular job? He surrendered to that wild notion one night, sending out a painfully small resume, even when he translates his hunter skills into something more acceptable.
Dean ducks out of the swinging attack, feeling his weight slip too far, and loses his footing. Just a split second moment of neglect. Of fatigue.
Two hands grab him by the coat and suddenly he’s forced backwards. He knows this move. He’s about to hit a hard surface, maybe break a rib or two. Those’ll heal slower than they used to. Add to the constellations of scars and chronic pain. Maybe he’ll get to rest for a while.
His trajectory changes abruptly, another weight barreling into them. Instead of a hard surface to the back, suddenly three of them go head over ass to the floor. He lands on his side, knocking his head, and blinks against the dark spots popping. Standing over him is a newcomer. From his angle he can’t see his face, but the voice…
The voice cuts through the cobwebs that crowd his mind, while he grumbles something. Pissed off as ever, in battle.
“Dean Winchester,” Cas drawls. “I did not go to The Empty, so you could get yourself impaled.”
Dean hoists himself to his knees, dragging the machete along as he finds back his upright position. His heart strains under both Cas’ presence and the effort, but a fire rekindles at the sight of Cas set upon by the vamp.
Short-lived, when Cas fires his shotgun, the impact stopping the vamp in his tracks. Cas twirls his own machete around in his hand and cuts the creature’s head clean off. Sam comes running after dispatching his opponent and suddenly all that’s left in this barn is hard breathing.
And staring. Between all three of them.
“Cas?” Sam asks, the first to recover. “Where did you come from?”
“Where’s your trench?”
Because, sure, that is the most pressing question, Winchester. Cas shoots him a bit of a look, wiping the blade clean on one of the corpses. “In my car.”
“Yeah, okay,” he nods. “That makes sense.”
“It really doesn’t,” Cas says fondly.
His eyes are skittish though, while he dodges out from under Dean’s undoubtedly intense gaze. All the words that were never spoken threaten to pile up like the Rockies once more.
“You’re alive,” Dean says on a harsh exhale.
Hapless, Cas lifts his arms, shotgun and machete in each hand, and suddenly Dean’s moving forward, taking the gesture for an invitation. Both weapons fall to the ground when they wrap their arms around each other. The solid bulk of Cas fits to him the way it always has. Like perfection, despite everything that never was.
He puts his hands to either side of Cas’ face, his thumbs seeking out the graze of his stubble. Cas looks more himself now. A bit more at ease. The understanding smile he gives Dean as they separate - though he really doesn’t want to - sends his heart pinballing.
“And… human?” Sam asks, rubbing at his nose. His eyes are moist.
“Yes, human,” Cas says, sounding impatient. He rubs at his arms. “Perhaps this is best talked about back… home?”
He looks at Dean hopefully and insanely, he remembers the time he kicked Cas out of the Bunker. That’s been happening a lot. Reliving his life with the filter of Cas’ love confession thrown over. It wasn’t easy. Or pretty. So Dean finds himself nodding fervently, mouth agape like a goldfish’s, and he gets moving alongside Sam and Cas, his brain tumbling like a dryer. He’s hoping along the way something will drop out that clues him in to what to say.
They get the kids to safety, pick up Cas’ stuff from his rental car and head back to The Bunker, Baby’s rumbling engine the only soothing thing about the drive. For him anyway. He should be relieved. A weight should have lifted. Instead, he tries to stop himself from checking for Cas’ presence in the rearview mirror every few seconds, but fails. Each time he does, he expects him to be gone. Each time he finds him, the fear grips tighter.
But Cas remains right there, meeting Dean in the reflecting surface more often than not. He zips up his hoodie, as if he’s cold, and burrows into the fabric. Sam conks out, or pretends to, against the window.
Nothing tumbles out by the time he pulls up at the Bunker, unless perhaps his entire brain, and Dean loathes himself for it. Because now he can’t pretend he doesn’t know exactly what Cas’ eyes are communicating to him. Hugs won’t cut it. Not after over a decade of silence.
Of never enough.
Of never saying he loved Cas back.
Dean tries to wrap his head around the double surprise they have to process. Sam is clearly quicker on the uptake when he actually carries Eileen out of the library towards his room. It leaves him and Cas staring after them for a good while, before he clears his throat.
“So Jack… fixed this?”
“When he saw what was coming for you, yes.”
“Impaled by a rod,” Dean echoes Cas’ words. He grins, trying to go for casual. “I always knew it was the life that’d do me in.”
“Hmm,” Cas hums sourly. “Jack disagrees. As do I.”
“So this is it? You and Eileen… This is real?”
His attention drops to Miracle, who – of course – has taken an immediate shine to Cas and is all but sitting on his feet, looking up patiently. Cas smiles, though there’s clearly a lot going on in his head, and pets Miracle’s fur out of his eyes.
“You’ve gone grey,” Dean says abruptly.
Because he has. Pretty, silver streaks at his temples.
Cas glares at him through his lashes, visibly put out. “And you wonder why?”
“I’m sorry, Cas.” He steps into Cas’ space. “But it looks good on you.”
There’s that familiar squint, where Cas is trying to peg if Dean’s yanking his chain or not. His face relaxes and he gives Dean an almost… coy look. “Thank you, Dean. But you don’t need to woe me.”
There it is, the thread he’s been looking for. The one to snag and pull at to unravel all of this endless ball of yarn they’ve gathered over the years.
“Oh, but I do,” Dean says, suddenly catching on fast. “I’ve got so much to make up for.”
“Did you not hear a thing I said before I went to The Empty?”
“I did,” he says, inching closer so they’re almost chest to chest.
The hair on his arms rises when their hands brush together without actually grabbing hold of each other.
“I think I know it by heart by now, trying to come up with all the things I should have said.”
Pursing his lips, Cas finally looks him dead in the eyes, eyebrows doing that soft, curious trick that used to threaten to pull the truth from him. Back then he always fought it. He doesn’t now.
“All the things you deserved to hear. I used to think I couldn’t have happiness,” he says. “You were right from the second we met. That a man like me doesn’t deserve –“ Hell, he still can’t fully say it, but Cas twitches his hand so their fingers lace together. “Can’t have… or be.”
“And now?” he asks, terribly kind as ever.
His heart hammers against his sternum, his body pounding in several places at once: temples, hip, neck. Even his lips. He licks them.
“I love you,” he whispers, eyes wide, and promptly forgets to breathe.
But Cas breathes easier. Instantly. He can feel it, the moment the words leave his lips, how his angel expands as if he’s taking up more space. Finally. There are too many emotions in his face for Dean to peg, but none of them seem bad. Painful, for sure, but not the bad kind.
He smiles at Cas through sudden tears and blinks rapidly. “Ahh, hell, man, can we take this to bed?”
“Yes,” he says, recoiling slightly. “Where else were you gonna go?”
“Well, my room…”
“Yeah, uh-huh, my room is yours. Ours. Whatever you want it to be.” He slips a hand around Cas’ waist, fingers grazing the skin just under the hem of his shirt. “Let me…”
Cas eyes him, the blue of his eyes so bright, so bright and beautiful and open, and he has to quiet the voice that still wants to tell he doesn’t deserve this. Because this is what it was all about. This last chance, which he has to take for all it’s worth. So he silences those words with his own truth.
“I wanna love you, Cas,” he says softly, finding a kiss on those lips. “Let me love you as you deserve.”
He didn’t mean to steal it like that, but realizes it isn’t a crime at all, when Cas’ arms come around his shoulders. There’s the sweetest little sound invading his mouth. And something off kilter as if Cas is going on tiptoes, which is heartbreakingly adorable, he gives into the physics of that and lifts Cas up. Just that little bit. Miracle nudges into Dean’s legs, giving a soft whine.
Cas is never going to fly again, but maybe Dean can prove he doesn’t need wings to soar.
“You deserve it too.”
It’s peculiar to find his way around a bed with Cas, but remarkably easy the more they just… do. Cas fumbles with his hoodie’s zipper, so Dean helps him out of it, finding his hands chilly.
“Cold?” he mutters.
Cas lets out a small, annoyed sound. “More so now that I’m human, it seems.”
“Let me warm you up.”
“Ooh,” Cas sighs, when Dean puts his hands to his abdomen.
Such an intimate thing to do. Let your loved ones warm their hands on you.
“C’me on,” he mutters, once they’re stripped.
Easier than he thought it would be, his cheeks still burn by the time they’re entwined under the sheets and blanket. Because he dreamt of this. Before and after he lost Cas. So yeah. But Cas makes it feel smooth, the way he wraps around Dean.
“You look comfy in your body,” he says.
“I’ve only had it for 12 years, which granted isn’t very long, but…” Cas glances down at himself. “I like this vessel.”
Dean can’t help the chuckle he lets out. “Me too, Cas.”
That begets A Look and it’s starting to feel very warm in their little cocoon. Which is good. He likes warm. Cas closes the distance this time. Eager, the way his lips mold to Dean’s, and the room goes from quiet to charged in a few heartbeats.
His spine tingles with pleasure. Because kissing Cas, letting Cas kiss him, feeling their way around each other, mmh, it’s beautiful the way Cas does it. He’s greedy, moving with confidence, as he pushes and pulls at Dean with hands and lips alike. Dean slows it back down, sinking into that comfortable vulnerability he’s experiencing, as he learns what it’s truly like to kiss Cas.
To taste him and feel his responses. How he almost vibrates with pleasure and the most glorious sounds are pushed past those lips, falling to the air or swallowed by Dean.
When Dean is breathing promises to Cas’ tattoo, his breath hitches violently. A different kind of sound, almost animalistic, falls to his ears.
He looks up and finds Cas has his arm thrown over his face. Hiding.
“Why does this hurt so much?” Cas hiccups, moving his arm to palm at his sternum. “Here…”
Dean is quick to push himself up and plants a kiss there, hoping the gesture will find fertile ground. Hoping something forgiving and healing will bloom with each consecutive one, while Cas shivers under him.
“Because you’ve loved in isolation for so long, which is a very lonely thing to do.”
“You loved me…” Cas’ voice gives out.
Dean’s shoulders tremble and he rests his forehead to Cas’ heart, nodding. “I did.” He tilts his face up so they’re connected the way they always have been. Eye contact. Wordless. Never enough. “I do. I love you. I’ll say it as often as you need me to. I love you, Cas.”
Cas’ ocean blues go wide, lips parting on an inhale, and they stay there for a while. To let the words land, burrow, grow. Whatever it is they need to do. He cocks his head to the side.
“You never heard me say it when I should have. So a heart aches under the weight of that.”
Cas is pensive now, his fingers kneading Dean’s arms, his flanks, borderline ticklish here and there. His muscles jumps and he can’t stop a smile, but holds. Stays where he is, contrary to all the other times he let Cas walk away or disengaged the moment himself. His breath falls to Cas’ warm skin, moistening up the dark hair with every puff.
Cas’ eyes focus on him intensely. “Human hearts… are curiously fragile and strong at the same time. Even under the worst kind of duress, it seems they find ways to connect. To heal. To turn a horrid experience into something else.”
He flicks his gaze to the job listing on Dean’s desk. The signed contract. Dean follows him there mentally.
Dean shrugs, jostling Cas lightly. “What else was I going to do? Even when I didn’t really see the point, I had to try something… something else to make it better.”
He closes his eyes when Cas cards his fingers through his hair, nails grazing his scalp. How he’s missed being touched.
“I’m glad you were trying. And that Jack intervened one last time.”
“You were with him all this time?” he asks delicately.
Cas shakes his head, shadows capturing him as he frowns. “He fought to get me out of The Empty.”
He wants to ask. If it was like his time in Hell. Or worse. Probably worse, he concludes, the way Cas minutely shakes his head again, subconsciously maybe, so he doesn’t chase it down. Something tells him there will be time for that, whether either of them likes it or not.
“We were thinking of working on Heaven. Getting it sorted for humanity, assuming you and Sam were going to live long lives… but then…”
Dean nods, biting his lip. “So he sent you back human?”
“I asked,” Cas says. “I thought an angel had no business being down here with you. I’d only continue to upset the balance…”
“But you didn’t want to stay up there either.”
“No,” Cas says, and his voice breaks. “I… When Jack said how you were about to die, I c… I couldn’t. Not again. It would have been… exceptionally cruel to lose you like that. For Sam. For you.”
“And you.” His stomach flips unpleasantly. “No more hunting,” he breathes out the promise to Cas’ heart, “I promise, my love, no more hunting.”
No more drinking either, he thinks, but he knows that is a longer path to walk.
“It won’t be easy,” he says instead. “We’re not used to.. anything normal. And we ain’t exactly got healthy coping mechanisms.”
“Lack of honest communication being one of them,” Cas says mildly. “I’m aware. We’ll figure it out.”
“As we go?” Dean hums, earning a soft smile. “But we might need some help this time around.”
“That’s okay,” Cas whispers, pulling him up for more kisses. “Help is good. Help is healthy.”
He never understood worship until recently, ironically with Cas at his least celestial. Though to Dean, he will always remain his angel, much like he is forever Cas’ human. That’s Eileen’s contribution to the situation.
“You’re finally really his human,” she signs over one of their breakfasts, where they actually all make it to the table together.
“He always was,” Cas says grumpily, the picture of a bird’s nest over his coffee.
Neither of them is a morning human, but they’re tactile. So they often have their morning coffees, leaning into each other. Shoulder to shoulder, dressed in whoever’s clothing they got a hold of first. Returning from his jog, Sam only ever smiles when he sees them like that.
Religious people will tell you worship can happen anywhere. Which is true. It’s in every touch, every kiss, every smile, every joke. Every moment they trip themselves up, because they’ve never had to be this damn human around each other, which, this time around, includes therapy and fights and having to actually deal with some of the baggage they gathered over the years. Therapy is no joke. Talking. So much talking, their voices give out.
So Dean makes Cas tea with honey.
They take their time, allowing the seasons to roll by. Months of recovery, where they don’t do anything but be. Sniff out that happiness alongside every sharp edge they snag themselves on.
They curl up in the media room, Cas in Dean's pyjamas and his fluffy bee socks, Dean in his briefs and robe, Miracle dozing between his or Cas’ legs. Depends who’s cradling who.
They talk about the future and eventually, matters start to shift. Slowly. When spring rolls around and new energies dance on the air.
Hunting never brought in any cash. Cas is poor as dirt and looks like a man who’s declared dead. Eileen has nothing to her name. Dean’s still that college dropout. Some of their hunter skills prove useful once more. They work the system one last time to give themselves the break they deserve, even while it’s a moral dime on its side for Sam. He’s hopelessly outnumbered in the stubborn persistence of Eileen, Cas and Dean.
So they get Sam back into college. Let him make it up by getting that degree and making the world a better place one case at a time. It’s adorable to see his baby brother light up when he talks about all this new stuff. Bursts of energy. Change. They support him through his first midterms, but he takes to it with relative ease and more time passes by.
Eileen foregoes education and instead relies on her old connections to land herself a job as a woodworker. She volunteers as a youth camp worker for the hearing impaired. Her energy seems boundless, but Dean knows she curls up with Sam often. They’re finding their way too.
That job listing? Yeah, Dean signed.
He’s a mechanic now.
Cas is a teacher. He works with little humans, as he calls them, even though they’re middle schoolers. The parents love it, never once realizing that’s his ancient, celestial ass misspeaking in front of them. And the kids adore him. For his vivid storytelling, his endless patience, and ability to make them believe they can impact the world around them positively.
So yeah, Dean worships him. With every fiber of his being.
They have several anniversaries by now.
There’s the barn anniversary obviously. Miracle loves that day trip.
But there’s also the final Lazarus anniversary.
It’s on that night, a year later to the day, where he brings Cas to tears. Not because of a fight or something blessedly and stupidly domestic. That shit happens, but it ain’t that.
He’s been laving attention to Cas for who knows how long. Their messy sheets are warm from their combined heat. They tend to lose track of time on important nights like these. Sam calls them date nights, but that somehow doesn’t sit right. Humanly speaking, sure. For everything else they are and were, it seems to lack nuances. Or depth.
These nights, where they close the bedroom door behind them well before bedtime, to reconnect and remind themselves of how far they’ve come. Beautiful in their intent, they’re often profoundly bittersweet. There’s only so much you can feel without getting swept up by that current.
But they need those nights the same way they’ve needed each other all these years.
It’s when he witnesses Cas be, without anything else in the mix.
When Cas receives.
It’s two way, but to Dean, these moments where they tumble to the bed with nothing but each other on their mind make him hopeful that this is where he gets to take care of whatever grew from those kisses he planted a year ago. The promises he’s made.
To tend to them. To Cas.
Those nights always leave marks. Tangible and invisible alike, much to Sam’s reluctant amusement the next morning.
Sometimes tending and placing those marks leaves a sting. It’s happened to Dean before and Cas held him through each of those overwhelming moments. Tonight it’s Cas’ turn, as he squirms under Dean’s hands. Under his now ever-grimy fingers and reverent lips and tongue, until…
They’re so close, all he sees are parts of Cas. One eye, tearful. Wrinkles. The grey temple. Messy, sweaty curls. The slant of his shoulder. The shine of the warm, yellow light cast on his skin. Feels the tremble that courses through him.
“It hurts again.”
And his own heart wrenches, because, yes... “I know,” he whispers. “Me too.”
He’s stopped hesitating when it comes to meeting Cas, wherever he finds him. Wherever his thoughts and emotions take them. They don’t always meet elegantly, but they always meet.
“Remind me,” Cas hums, tired eyes lighting up with a soft yearning.
“I love you,” Dean says without hesitation. “Now and forever. I love you, Cas.”
Their breathing tends to sync up at times like these. It’s no different now, as Cas breathes out his tension, the lines in his forehead less deep, and Dean follows him there too. He closes his eyes, when Cas kisses him and whispers the words back to him.
“I love you.”
Read the other codas on AO3
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♧ ME ME MEEEE PLSSS🥺🥺
CHELLE!!! 💕💕💕 Am I gonna use this as an excuse to just gush about how damn much I love you? You bet your cute ass I am!
You’re my: sweet baby angel, my favourite person in the universe, literal soulmate, acnh sugar baby, enabler of my dumb impulsive ideas, unfortunate victim of cursed posts and tiktoks, love of my life
How I met you: Illuminae Files!!!! I was reading them and you already had and wanted to talk to someone else who had read them and I came and had a freak out over Gemina in your DMs and we fell madly in love and lived happily ever after in meme-filled, thirsty, cursed bliss. Also lets get irl on this too! I was going on holiday on my own for the first time to Amsterdam before starting university and got a train down to see you in Germany and ended up buying a load of queer books because I have no impulse control and as I mentioned you are a massive enabler and I love you.
Why I follow you: because you're literally the best person ever and I could never unfollow you despite the fact that almost nothing you post now is relevant to my interests because you got into kpop and I didn't 😂
Your blog is: so goddamn organised with an actual aesthetic and as a chaotic incoherent mess I am intimidated by that 😂
Your URL is: a million miles away from when I first met you. remember youvebeenwinchestered? (did i type that right I have no idea) It's something kpop but again I know nothing about that
Your icon is: really rather attractive I have to say but gimme your gorgeous adorable face back baby because nothing is as cute as you
A random fact I know about you: there are facts that we know about each other that must remain forever within our dms so I shall not divulge those. okay so you love my dog (more than me??? 😂😂), you give very good hugs, you are an actual saint because you've put up with me for more than 3 years now and holy shit I'm so sorry, also, like me, you're a slut for Nikolai Lantsov
General opinion: literally what can I even say about you???? you already know how much I adore you and think the absolute world of you. You're honestly one of the best people I've ever met and you deserve everything good in life. I just wanna give you hugs all the time and I literally cannot imagine my life without you in it anymore. You're stupidly talented and unbelievably kind and loving and a massive sweetheart. You're such an incredible friend and I know you'll always be there when I need you like when I was stupid drunk and feeling my absolute worst you were there and just being able to talk to you made me feel so much better. I truly don't think you understand what an amazing person you really are but you should because you're the best darling 💕💕💕
A random thought I have: COME FUCKING LIVE WITH ME YOU ADORABLE BITCH
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Blind Dog and His “Seeing-Eye Cat” Set Sights On New Forever Home
During a winter cold snap in Canada, the animal lovers of Saving Grace Animal Society in Alix, Alberta, were out delivering supplies to families needing assistance when a homeowner made the decision to surrender their blind dog and his bonded cat friend to the rescue.
The family knew the pair needed care beyond their ability, and as Saving Grace shared on Facebook, “The family felt an indoor retirement home was best for this blind boy and his ‘seeing eye cat.’”
Saving Grace Animal Society/Facebook
Both 8-years-old, Spike and Max had been a pair their whole lives, and with Spike being blind, he depended on his feline buddy. And Max, being a loyal tabby friend, was happy to be at Spike’s side, supporting him through everything.
An Unlikely Duo Bonded for Life
The day Saving Grace executive director Erin Deems met Spike and Max, she told Global News Canada, “It’s absolutely adorable. When we walked up onto the property, there was this tiny igloo shelter and they were just cuddled in there right together.”
It was obvious the pair shared a connection, and even now, Spike and Max have remained a tight pair with a cemented bond.
Saving Grace said the happy-go-lucky pup may be “completely blind, but don’t feel bad for him, he LOVES LIFE and is a happy boy.” More than anything though, Spike is “ready to spend the rest of his life being spoiled with his buddy Max! But Max is more than just Spike’s buddy though, he’s “the yin to his yang – his balance in life.”
As Erin explained, “The cat has just kind of helped him in his little survival trek. They follow each other everywhere, they do every activity together and they sleep together.”
Saving Grace Animal Society/Facebook
And in addition to his caring purrsonality, Max the tabby cat is “such a character and he’s sure to keep you laughing!”
“He’s a very friendly and social cat, he loves to explore and tell stories and he loves to play with toys.”
Finding Home Together
Max has always been there for Spike, making sure the blind dog finds his footing in life. Because of this, there was no question the two would be adopted out together. But with the big changes that have found this furry duo, what they needed most would be “a patient home to take them in and love them.” Saving Grace Animal Society would certainly help Spike and Max find it!
“They came in as friends and they deserve to find a home together. We find it’ll just make the transition for an old senior dog that’s blind, it’ll just make it so much easier if his cat friend is with him because they don’t know life apart,” Erin said.
Before long, Saving Grace indeed found Spike and Max’s new mom, reporting, “They’ve found the perfect home all the way in Manitoba.”
Saving Grace Animal Society/Facebook
Now, Max will be showing Spike around their forever home, where they can spend their days together inside, warm and snuggly with family!
Feature Image: Saving Grace Animal Society/Facebook
The post Blind Dog and His “Seeing-Eye Cat” Set Sights On New Forever Home appeared first on iHeartDogs.com.
from iHeartDogs.com https://ift.tt/3uH7hHs
21 things I learned at 21
When life gets tough, you have to get tougher
Allow yourself to feel everything (even sadness), but dont let it hold you back
You are allowed to be selfish with your time and love
Your mom will always be your best friend (not for everyone cuz some ppls moms suck and if urs does im sorry you deserve much better < 3 )
Some things may knock you down incredibly hard that you feel like you may never recover, but the day you do recover feels like the greatest relief of your life
Sometimes time doesn’t heal, sometime you just learn how to manage the pain
Not every friend is a forever friend, and you should be thankful for that
There is a difference between having love for someone and being in love
Remember the past fondly, but don’t lose yourself in it you still have so much to experience!
It’s okay to make mistakes even bad bad ones as long as you learn from it
Be excited about the people you haven’t met yet (and if one of them is reading this right now; HI!luv u miss u already)
Dogs smell like gram crackers at night and their paws smell like corn chips
It’s okay if things aren’t working out for you yet there’s still so much time
Dont compare where you are in life with where other people are it’ll only make you feel bad and there is no point
Understand that sometimes you dont know people as well as you think (everyone has a story )
Sometimes they are taking so long to find you because you are still turning into the person they need and they are still turning into the person you need
There is nothing wrong with buying baby cloths for a baby that doesn’t exist yet
Try to take in all the little things before life really changes, even late night drives to get ice cream with mom needs to be remembered
Take pictures of basically everything (which means you’ll need a lot of space on every device)
Divine timing and yourself is all that you need to have faith in
You are capable of anything and everything and should never sell yourself short of this great beautiful life you have yet to live
I am scared for the rest of my life although all this sounds quite optimistic but I've decided I cannot live my life in fear of what may or may not happen and just simply live because that it is enough for me. I want to be happy. I hope ill be happy. I deserve it so much..
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positions: december 2020 (10/13)
positions | chris evans |
chris evans x ari!female reader [series]
summary: chris invites his new secret celebrity girlfriend to stay with him during quarantine.
warnings: age gap (the reader is 27), emotions
word count: 2,416
part nine: november 2020
After Chris had announced to his mom that he wanted to propose to you, Lisa immediately got excited. After Lisa swore not to tell anyone, Chris began to move on to the next step... find an engagement ring.
Chris knew exactly where to look for an engagement ring. In the world, your favorite jewelry store was Tiffany & Co. Chris had booked a private appointment at the flagship store in New York City - 57th Street.
Chris had lied to you that he was going to New York on business for ASP and would be gone for the weekend. You didn't think anything about it or had any suspicions about it.
In New York City, Chris had successfully entered Tiffany's without anyone in public recognizing him.
Chris had spent hours and hours in a private room looking at every engagement ring that the store had to offer. Finally, Chris had found the ring.
It was a five-carat oval diamond solitaire ring. Once Chris had laid his eyes on that ring, he knew that this ring was perfect for you and you only. He pictured this ring on your finger. Without any hesitation or thought, Chris had happily purchased the ring. The first step was completed.
The next step was to ask your parents for their blessing. It wasn't conventional. However, he, in his heart, knew it was the right thing to do.
After their death, your parents had requested in their will that they would be buried at Woodlawn Cemetery, a National Historic Landmark.
Arriving at the cemetery, Chris knew where your parents were buried. Your family had a private family mausoleum.
Entering into the mausoleum, Chris saw your parent's names. Chris sighed with anxiety as he stood in front of their burial.
"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. (Y/L/N). I know that this isn't the ideal way to do this. I know that both of you would want to be here, and I know that (Y/N) would as well. There's not a day that goes by she doesn't think about you both. I was raised to be a gentleman and always knew that when the time came that I would ask for a parent's blessing. I have known your daughter for over ten years. This past year has been the best time of my life. You have raised a beautiful, sweet, caring, thoughtful woman. There are so many other words that I can use to describe her and how much I am madly in love with her. She is everything that I want in a partner for life. She is the person that I picture and imagine as my wife and mother to my future children. She has been my rock. She believes in me when there are times I don't believe in myself. She understands me more than anyone I know. I know that I have made mistakes, and I will forever regret them. I know that I am not perfect. However, I promise you that I will do everything and anything to give her the life she deserves. Even though I can't get an actual answer, I came here to ask you if it would be ok for me to ask your daughter to marry me. I promise that I will treat her as my princess and eventually as my queen as hopefully soon one day we start a family. I promise that I will try my best never to let her or your future grandchildren down. Your future grandchildren will know you and know how much they are loved by you two. I will take care of her to the best of my abilities. There will not be a day that I won't express how much I love her. I will never give up on her just like she hasn't given up on me."
Chris had let a few minutes go by in silence before exiting the mausoleum. As he was about to close the door, a slight breeze came through, blowing winter leaves across his feet and through the mausoleum. The breeze came out of nowhere. There hadn't been a breeze all morning.
A feeling of peace and content filled Chris. Chris suddenly felt calm and comforted.
Chris had a small smile on his face as he looked back at your parent's burial.
That's when he knew in his heart that he just got his answer.
The next step was to ask Robert for his blessing. Robert Downey Jr. had known you for thirteen years. He was a second father to you. The both of you had a very tight father-daughter relationship onscreen and off. Robert considered you as his eldest daughter. After your father passed away, Robert was always there for you.
When you and Chris started dating, he was the first person you told. He was genuinely happy for the two of you. He had given Chris the talk of if Chris had hurt you in any way, he would have to deal with him personally. When you had told Robert about Chris's incident, Robert was furious. It had taken some time for Robert to forgive Chris, but thankfully, it all went back to normal between the two men.
Thankfully for Chris, Robert was at his home in the Hamptons at the same time he was in town. Chris had driven to the Downey home to ask Robert for his blessings. Robert and his wife Susan were both thrilled and excited for both of you. The second step was completed.
The next step was to figure out how, when, and where Chris would propose to you.
Chris, heading home, was debating how, when, and where he would propose to you. He knew that you were not an extravagant person by any means. You loved the simple things in life.
That's when it hit him.
He would propose to you at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve on your one-year anniversary on your New York City house balcony.
December 25, 2020
The day was full of excitement and holiday spirit. It was Christmas. You and the Evans family were in your house in New York City.
You were surprised when Chris had suggested spending Christmas and New Years' in New York.
"Wouldn't it be nice to spend the holidays in New York? Also, it would be our one-year anniversary. Why not celebrate them all in the city where I asked you to be my girlfriend?" You didn't argue with him, nor did you want to.
Chris's idea to spend the holidays and your anniversary in New York was sweet. After you agreed to the idea, you, Chris, Dodger, Zeus, and the rest of the Evans family packed their bags and drove to New York two days before Christmas Eve.
Having the Evans family in your house brought back feelings that you hadn't felt in nine years. You hadn't felt at home in your own house since your parent's demise. Coming back to your house always felt empty. There was no warmth, no comfort, no love. It wasn't a home anymore until now.
Seeing Lisa, Scott, Carly, Shanna, Chris, and the children make themselves at home warmed your heart.
You were able to order a fresh Christmas tree when all of you had arrived in New York.
The Christmas decorations you had locked away were opened and decorated all over in your home by you and the whole family.
Your house was home again, thanks to Chris and his family.
On Christmas Eve, you had made a whole Christmas feast for the family. After dinner and dessert, everyone had changed into Christmas onesies that Carly and Shanna had ordered for the family.
Everyone had spent the rest of the night enjoying each other and watching various Christmas movies before retiring for the night.
You and Chris were soundly sleeping in bed in each other's arms when the both of you felt three energetic children and two dogs pile upon you, waking you up on Christmas morning.
Seeing the children with big smiles on their faces when opening their Christmas gifts made the holidays worthwhile.
You and Chris had gone overboard in spoiling the kids with gifts. Everything that they had asked for, you both got it for them.
You had spoiled the rest of the family as well with gifts and, surprisingly, vice versa.
You honestly weren't expecting anything from the family. You hadn't asked or wanted anything. You had everything you ever wanted in that room.
The family had all chipped in and splurge on getting you, Chris, Dodger, and Zeus cable-knit sweaters, which you fell in love with and made you and Chris laugh.
You absolutely loved Chris in his cable-knit sweater when he starred in "Knives Out." He would wear those sweaters time from time, and you loved seeing him wear them. He always looked sexy and handsome. However, seeing him wear those sweaters was an absolute turn-on.
When Zeus came into your lives, the family would make jokes that the four of you should do a family photo with those sweaters on which you always rebuttal that you didn't have one, neither did the dogs. Now, you didn't have any excuse anymore.
You and Chris enjoyed the gifts and automatically put the sweaters on along with Dodger and Zeus, who neither clearly didn't enjoy them.
Scott had taken a photo of the four of you, which the both of you loved. The first family photo. Hopefully, one of many, Chris had thought to himself.
December 31, 2020
The day was finally here. The day that most unbeknown to you, Chris would propose to you. The day hopefully would change both of your lives for the better.
The whole day Chris was filled with anxiety and nerves. The only one who really knew what was going on and what was going to happen was Lisa.
You and Chris had talked about marriage and starting a family together many times over the past year. However, for Chris, it doesn't take away the nerve of asking you to spend the rest of your life with him as his wife. To him, there was a slight chance that you would reject him.
Throughout the day, Lisa tried her best to calm and reassure her oldest son up to no avail.
You knew that something was bothering Chris since the moment both of you woke up that morning. However, no matter how many times you questioned him, he would politely deflect.
Eventually, you had stopped asking. You knew that when he was ready, he would come to talk to you. You just hoped that nothing serious was going on with him.
That night, Chris still hadn't told you what was going on, and that was causing you to worry.
You had privately confided in Lisa your worries. However, she comforted you that there was nothing serious going on with Chris. Her words and warmth lessened your worries a little bit. Nevertheless, you knew that something was going on.
It was five minutes till the New Year. The whole family was in the living room watching Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest on television.
Everyone but Chris was in anticipation to ring in the New Year. While everyone was watching the show, Chris had leaned down to whisper in your ear.
"Can we go outside on the balcony for a minute?" You looked up at Chris in question but nodded your head in agreement.
Chris had intertwined his hand with yours and quietly led you outside on your private balcony. Lisa had turned around and saw the two of you sneak out. The Evans matriarch had a massive smile on her face on what was about to happen.
Chris had led you out on your private balcony, where the both of you looked out to the Times Square view.
"Is everything ok, Chris? You have been acting strange all day." You softly laid your hand on Chris's face.
Chris sighed and kissed your palm for comfort.
"(Y/N), around this time three years ago, you captured my heart by being exactly who you are. The sweetest, most loving, compassionate, sensitive, smart, beautiful, gorgeous person I have ever known. It took me so long to tell you that I had romantic feelings for you because I didn't know how to. But I believe in my heart things happen when it's supposed to happen. This year was not expected, but it has been the best year of my life with you by my side. You, me, Dodger, and Zeus have created this family that I have always wanted and craved. You have been my very best friend through the good and the bad. You have been the reason that I smile, and you have given comfort beyond measure when I have cried. You are the first thing that I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. You have believed in me when no one else would, and you have shown me how to love with passion, purity, and unconditional acceptance. You are my soulmate, and I can't picture my life without you in it. I'm not sure a lifetime is long enough to return all you have given to me, but I promise the rest of my days I'll spend by your side. To laugh with you and cry with you, to believe in you and support you. I promise to love you until my heart stops beating, and even after so. I will do everything in my power and ability to give you the life that you deserve and more. I will do everything and anything to keep you happy and smiling. I know that I have made mistakes, and I will forever regret them. Yet, I will never regret you ever. I am madly in love with you. When I look at you, I see you as my wife and future mother to our future children. Over the past year, we have talked about getting married and starting a family together."
Both of you had tears in your eyes as you watched Chris go down on one knee. The ten-second countdown to midnight had begun.
Chris reached down into his pocket and took out the Tiffany’s ring box. Chris sighed nervously as he opened the ring box.
January 1, 2021
"(Y/F/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), will you marry me? Will you enter this New Year as my fiancée?"
part eleven: january 2021 pt. i
tag list: @ladyblablabla @thevelvetseries
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Mmmm mayhaps Alex and a s/o getting caught in the rain while on their way home? Maybe having to share clothes since theirs are drenched, maybeee, idk let your imagination roam. I hope you get out of your funk soon, I know how frustrating it can be ✨
dancing in the rain || alex kerner x fem!reader
gif credit to @/lovecafes
summary: on your walk back home you get caught in the rain and insist that you spare the moment to dance
pairing: alex kerner x fem!reader
word count: 1,809
warnings: none, just pure fluff and wholesomeness
a/n: this was such a soft idea i love it so much thank you nony for sending this in!!!
You always enjoyed the season of Spring. When the weather was warm enough to wear shorts, but still wear a jacket if you needed one. The birds were coming back from their departure for the winter and the flowers were beginning to bloom. Everything was peaceful, beautiful, alive.
You were particularly fond of the park that you and Alex would go to for your weekly picnic - the one day that you both had off that worked around each other’s schedule to spend time with one another. It always went far too fast for you, longing for more time with him, but you still appreciated every second you were able to have with your dear Alex.
Today had been rather cloudy though, and Alex had insisted all day leading up until when the two of you were supposed to meet that they do something else in case it rained - but you didn’t mind taking the chance. You had already made his favorite desserts and bought meat and cheese from the deli at the store. So after pleading with him in your kitchen, holding him close to you by the front of his flannel, your bottom lip sticking out and giving him your best puppy dog face - he finally gave in.
So there you were, laying on the blanket nestled in his arms while you stared up at the clouds, going on about your week as he played with your hair. You had asked him a question about his mother, who was still in the hospital with her coma, but he seemed to be too focused on something else to catch what you had asked him.
Turning your head up, you smiled up at him while he smiled back down at you, cheeks going pink when you began to laugh, “What? What’s so funny?” He asked, rolling onto his side so he could face you more, his arm settling across your waist, pulling you even closer to him.
“I asked you a question...how your mother was doing? But you seemed to be lost in your own world,” You hands went to his hair, pushing his hair back and out of his face before pressing a kiss to his nose, “Have I bored you?”
He stumbled over his breath, choking briefly as his whole face went red while he shook his head, sitting up to catch his breath before continuing, “N-No!” He spat out, “Of course, not! I’m sorry, my mother - yes, as good as anyone could be I suppose that’s in a coma.”
Alex turned back to look down at you, smiling as you laid on your back, hair spread out around your head. You looked like an angel with a halo to him, glowing with pure happiness, radiating amongst the grey of the clouds. He leaned into your touch when you extended your hands up and to on either side of his face, gently caressing his face.
Moments like this, where he could finally relax with you, he took it all in, not wasting a moment. The past few months had been painfully hard for him - it felt as though he was drowning everyday, but the day he got to spend with you, Alex could finally breathe.
He didn’t notice the tears that were falling down his face until hearing your sigh, “Oh Alex, come here.” You cooed, pulling him down to lay in your arms now, comforting him now as he had done for you.
You continued to stroke his face and play with his hair, wiping the fallen tears off his face before kissing his cheeks dry. “My sweet Alex, when will the world stop torturing you?” You whispered, looking over his features until he pulled his head up from where it laid on your chest. You smiled at him, as he smiled down at you before leaning forward, meeting him in the middle for a sweet kiss.
When he pulled away, he shuffled his arms up to rest on either side of your head, his elbows propped as he moved your hair around. You were suffocated by Alex, if you were being honest, but you didn’t mind in the moment - you’d give anything to have him this close to you more often. With the two of you tangled on the blanket, embracing one another and taking in each other, you almost didn’t notice it begin to rain until the squeals of children came from the other side of the park.
Moving in sync, Alex pushed himself up off of you, gathering the food into the picnic basket while you picked the blanket up, holding it above your head to shield yourself from the rain as it began to come down even harder. Taking Alex’s hand, you followed him as the two of you ran out of the park, down the sidewalk and onto the main stretch that took you back to his apartment. Alex had slowed his pace down slightly to reach around you and take the blanket in his hand, the basket now in your’s as he shielded the both of you with the now soaked blanket.
The two of you moved quickly down the sidewalk, cars buzzing by and spraying you with water as you trekked back to Alex’s apartment. You couldn’t be mad even if you wanted to despite the given circumstances. It was like something out of a movie, getting caught in the rain with your lover. If Alex wasn’t so protective, pushing you to continue on so you didn’t get sick, you would have stopped to enjoy it.
But when you passed by the patisserie, hearing the lively tune that played inside, your steps came to a sudden stop, Alex knocking into you with a grunt. He kept the blanket held above you, the rain loud as it hit against everything around you.
“What? You okay? Do you need to stop?”
Turning, you grinned up at Alex and nodded, “Come on, Alex - will you dance with me?” You stepped out from under the blanket and set the basket down, letting your head fall back as the rain hit your face, a laugh escaping from you.
Alex on the other hand, was completely confused. What did you want to dance in the rain for? You could have waited and he would have danced with you back home. Where it was warm, dry, and you wouldn’t get sick. Not outside the patisserie to the cheesy music they were playing.
“Come now, Alex, just live a little. For me? Make a girl happy?” You extended your arms out and squealed when he tossed the blanket down, taking your hands after a moment of debating with himself. You pulled him to you and wrapped your arms around his neck, stepping in beat to the music, laughing as he twirled you around, your dress coming up and spinning with you - the water that soaked your dress coming off.
“Don’t I make you happy already?” He asked, pulling you back to him after the last spin. Both of your hairs were stuck to your face, wet from the rain. You leaned forward and pushed his back out of his face, standing on your toes to kiss him deeply until you pulled away for air.
“The happiest.” You breathed, leaning forward to kiss him one more time before continuing to dance, pulling away from him as you began to spin around again, laughing as the rain continued to fall. Alex followed in suit, chasing after you and linking arms with you, spinning in circles with you until he got dizzy and toppled over, you catching him before he fell.
As if it couldn’t get any more cliche - the song came to a stop, along with the rain, leaving you and Alex soaked as the sun began to peek out from behind the clouds. You glanced down at your shoes to see that your slip-ons and calves were doused in mud, the bottom of Alex’s jeans muddy too.
“Don’t worry, you can borrow something of mine when we get back. I’ll wash your dress for you too and give it back to you next week.” Alex insisted, gathering up the blanket and basket before wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you close to his side while you continued on again, making the last stretch of your journey back to his apartment.
And he did - as with all promises he made to you, he kept them.
While he left to throw the soaked clothes and blanket in the wash, you were in his room, sliding on the old basketball shorts that he had along with one of his t-shirts. Being in his clothes made you feel warm, safe - and the scent of him on the shirt made your heart skip a beat. This was what home felt like to you, Alex - your dear sweet Alex.
You heard the door open and shut, turning to see him in a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt, making his way to you, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you in for a kiss. Of course, you kissed back, wrapping your arms around his neck as he began to walk you back towards the bed, collapsing down with him following.
When stumbling onto his bed, you could only giggle with him falling on top of you, his hair sticking up in odd places from his hair drying. It was moments like this where he looked so innocent. His expression was always soft, tired from the long week, but still managing to enjoy the day with you. You always took the time to tell Alex how much you appreciated him and what he did, because that’s what he deserved and you knew nobody gave him the recognition he deserved.
Alex rested his head back on your chest, closing his eyes as he laid in your arms on top of you, your own legs wrapped around him, as if trapping him from leaving you. You knew you didn’t have to worry about that though, because Alex was the one - and you knew that the two of you would be together forever.
It was his light snores that pulled you from your thoughts. Pausing your movements through his hair, you craned your neck to the side, watching as his eyes closed, mouth open while he slept, the light snore picking up the more he sank into slumber. You couldn’t be mad at him for falling asleep - he needed it.
You decided that it was only fair that you sleep too. If you were trapped under him, until God knew when he would wake up, you deserved a nap yourself. You leaned forward and kissed his head once, feeling him bury his face into your chest more as he clung to your sides, before falling back into his pillows, nodding off into your own personal slumber.
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it was good until it wasn’t
↬ pairing: kim doyoung x reader
↬word count: 3k
↬ genre: angst, mentions of fluff
↬warnings: mentions of sex, it’s pretty sad (you may shed a tear or two i’m v sorry)
↬ synopsis: breakups suck, especially when you’re still in-love and don’t understand where you both went wrong.
he makes it look so easy.
ignoring your texts, coming home late, barely saying a word to you when you’re together. you can’t hate him for it though, you’re the exact same.
you wonder why he doesn’t break up with you already. your relationship was basically hopeless at this point and you both know it isn’t going anywhere- it hasn’t been going anywhere for months now.
it pains you seeing him not stare at you lovingly anymore. you grew so fond of the idea of spending hours on the phone talking about the dumbest things, staying up late watching reruns of your favourite shows, even making him do face masks with you when you wanted to do self care days. you knew he loved it of course, but he always played it off as something he detested because seeing you pout over his lack of interest in a sheet mask always made him love you ten times more.
you haven’t felt his touch in two months. it was like you were living with a ghost, the feeling of his presence ever so prominent, but the actual feeling and embracement of him completely diminished. every morning he’d wake you up by kissing both your cheeks, quiet laughter humming from his chest as he admired your sleepy presence in his quest to get you to start your day.
now you wake up to the sound of him sighing as he leaves your shared bed, his empty presence filling the quiet room, causing you to feel lonely.
never in the several years of knowing doyoung did you ever imagine that his presence would become something that no longer brought you happiness.
you’ve both drifted, but you’re still together- too stubborn to admit to yourselves and each other that this relationship has run its course, forming a cohabitation with one another rather than maintaining a loving, healthy relationship.
it’s complicated, you like to believe. trying to puzzle together when everything went wrong. but you can’t because all you remember is that one day you were both madly in love with one another and the next you acted as if you were strangers.
deep down you’re scared. you’ve spent so many years and time and effort in your relationship with doyoung that you don’t truly know what life outside of him is like.
you may not have long talks anymore or stay up late watching movies or even have sex- damn you missed the days where you both would divulge in sex multiple times a week, but gosh did you find solace in his presence.
when he’s not there in bed beside you when you wake up each morning you feel empty, like a piece of your heart has been ripped out of your body and hidden halfway across the world for you to find.
he’s all you’ve touched and laughed and connected with in years and to have that ripped away from you is beyond frightening.
he’s all you know.
you yearn for the days when you were fresh in love and could never keep your hands off each other, wanting to be in each other’s presence 24/7. sadly the days of two twenty years olds having quickies in the backseat of a car and drunkenly singing karaoke at three in the morning on friday nights at the local bar were long gone. you’re not two college kids in love anymore, just two completely different adults who fell out of it.
it hurts reminiscing about the way his hands would find your waist and how his chin dipped into your neck when he found you speaking with your friends at parties; the way he would sing to you when you had trouble falling asleep, bringing you to his piano to play you whatever melody he created earlier in the day just to bring you comfort, even if it meant he was losing sleep in the process.
you especially miss his attempts at making you iced coffee in the morning. it was such a mundane act, but no matter how hard he tried and how closely he followed the instructions you gave him (not as if making iced coffee was hard anyways), he’d always make it too bitter. but you still drank it anyway, because you loved doyoung with every fibre in your being, and anything he did for you made you appreciate and fall in love with him even more. everything he did for you showed how deeply he loved and cared for you.
now you don’t get any of it. no obnoxious flirting when out in public. no beautiful nights falling asleep to his soft, angelic voice, wrapped up warmly in his tender arms. and especially no bitter, watered down iced coffee.
you’re lucky enough if he holds your hand when out in public with friends, not wanting anyone to clue in on the lack of intimacy and love that ceases to exist between the two of you.
you used to be that annoying couple who couldn’t get enough of one another, always finding ways to be in each other’s presence whenever you went out together, wanting to show the world that you were his and he was yours. now you can barely look each other in the eyes for more than five minutes without an unnecessary argument beginning to brew.
you wish you could have that all back. the routine. the peace. the love you both shared. you’re just two adults who can’t even be mature enough to break off a six year relationship because you’re both too comfortable with the thought of one another; too scared to leave what you’ve built as a couple to realize that this once great love affair has turned into something so sad and toxic, pulling you back from what you both deserve in life.
your friends have been telling you to sit down and speak to him about your feelings, his urging you both to call it quits for months now, claiming you’re making your friendship dynamic awkward, and in the end only harming yourselves. but they don’t understand what it’s like to have something so beautiful ripped from your hands without a warning, because that’s what this all felt like. as if someone swooped in and stole your bond with doyoung, when in actuality it was just the two of you growing apart-one thing you never thought would ever occur.
those four dry months eventually turned into a fifth, and that’s when you knew you had to pull the plug. you couldn’t keep living like this- wasting your life and heart and energy on a relationship that ended so long ago. it was draining the life out of you both and it was painfully evident in your faces.
the days of crying over him have long passed, making it much easier to process that you won’t ever be with him again, mentally checking out after the first two months this distance became a regular occurrence. that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt ending a love that once was your everything.
you remember so clearly the day doyoung asked you out. it was a monday after a lecture you both shared, the both of you walking alongside campus, too invested in your conversations with one another to say goodbye. you both knew you had feelings for one another, every interaction between the two of you held an abundance of smiles and rosy red cheeks.
he bit the bullet and asked if you wanted to grab dinner some time, just the two of you and away from your chaotic friend group, wanting it to be an actual date and not a group outing.
that was six years ago, and the butterflies you felt in your stomach the moment he said he wanted to date you still linger when you think back to such heartfelt innocence.
when you finally decided enough was enough and the words eventually left your mouth, he wasn’t even upset. he showed no sign of emotion, a stoic expression stuck on his tender face, only a nod of agreement following your difficult confession.
he knew he didn’t have to say anything and you didn’t expect him to. there was no fighting for something that didn’t exist anymore. doyoung may have been your boyfriend by title, but these last few months he was just doyoung. not your lover. not your best friend. just doyoung.
a stranger you know who’s smile and laugh and kisses you’ll forever have ingrained in your brain, but have not come into pure contact with for an unreasonable amount of time.
and you can’t even hate him for this breakup because he hasn’t done anything wrong. you simply grew apart, and you hate how you drug it out for so long where it got to the point where you can’t even look him into the eyes without feeling some sort of pain and resentment. the only thing you wish you could go back and change was to talk about it, because who knows, the both of you could have either resolved whatever underlying issues you had, or you would’ve been broken up by now- not stranded and confused as to where your life and relationship is going.
you never pictured you’d end up like this, assuming by the time you were in your late twenties you’d be engaged, with a dog, constantly looking at homes online for you and doyoung to one day grow your future family in. you so desperately wanted to be his forever, the one he turned to for everything. the father of your children, the greatest love of your life the entire world had to offer.
that was all in the past now.
the entire “official” breakup didn’t even hit you until doyoung was moving his stuff out of your shared apartment, little pieces of him vanishing as each minute passed.
the picture of your two year anniversary is no longer on display in the living room, the frame facing the table to signal that the once happy couple in that old photograph are no longer together and madly in love.
the pastel flower magnets doyoung loved to collect and place on the fridge ceased to exist, leaving your kitchen slightly less colourful and fun as they were tossed away in one of the many random boxes he got from the hardware store earlier.
even the ugly rustic coffee table you hated but he adored- something that totally clashed with the aesthetic of the apartment but reminded doyoung of his childhood, all removed from your shared space and never to be seen in your presence again. you begged doyoung for a new one years ago but he always managed to convince you it had charm, always flashing you a wide grin in his process to win your heart over. you never thought the day would come where you’d miss seeing it in your living room.
everything was so clean and spacious. everything was gone.
it was weird seeing your once cluttered home look so different. yet despite all the space, every single memory and experience you shared with doyoung was ever present in your mind, overwhelming you all at once as no future memories between the two of you will be made.
it felt like just yesterday you both signed the lease, accidentally spilling red wine on the brand new white rug doyoung bought an hour after you got the keys, knowing you were eyeing it for months online, refusing to buy it until you officially had a place together. you were both so excited to start your lives here. to be young and to evolve and to explore your relationship in a manner more romantic and mature than you had the last few years.
all his instruments and songbooks that were once scattered in the corner of your living room are gone, packed in their cases and in doyoung’s car, awaiting their new home once he takes his remaining items and leaves.
it hurts the most when thinking about the bedroom. you haven’t slept there since he started packing his things four days ago, not wanting to get emotional over half the room and its belongings disappearing with what felt like a snap of the fingers.
but you had to make your way in there now, because all you could hear coming from the thin white wall down the hallway were soft, hiccupped sobs- such emotion you weren’t familiar with in months.
part of you wants to let him be and pretend like you hear nothing just so he can gather his thoughts and belongings and be on his way.
but you can’t. because despite how much you tell yourself that this is for the best and you’re past everything, you’re not. there’s a huge part of you that still cares so deeply for doyoung and you wouldn’t ever wish pain on him.
quietly walking into your bedroom towards your once shared bed, you sit beside him. grabbing his hand, you can feel the warmth radiating from his body, reminding you of the days you’d go on long walks, him never letting go of you because he never wanted to break physical contact.
“hi.” you whisper, not entirely sure how to spark a conversation with him. you haven’t been this vulnerable with him in what feels like forever, the last time you saw him cry was over two years ago when your relationship was seemingly at its best. he hasn’t been this upset was when he thought he lost taeyong’s dog, but it turned out that it was yuta’s day to watch him while he went to work.
“hey.” he says, his voice raspy and shaky due to the tears, his face red with anxiety.
“so we’re really doing this, huh?” you ask, your voice beginning to shake as well. seeing doyoung cry always breaks your heart, and the fact that he’s doing so after you both ended things makes you want to crawl in a hole and never leave.
this was hitting you too hard. so much harder than you could’ve ever imagined. you thought that because you both just fell apart and seemed unbothered by such a drastic change in your lives and relationship that he’d pack his things and you’d both be on with your lives. but now that you’re both separating from one another for good when all you’ve known was each other for years, it’s soul crushing.
doyoung is here in your once shared bedroom holding your hand and crying with you because you both failed to make your relationship work despite having such strong feelings for one another.
you love this man so much, yet you know there’s nothing you can do to bring you both back to the state you were once in. you’re different people now, and you can’t mold back into the two young, horny, and madly in love college sophomores anymore thinking you’re going to be together forever.
“god i hate this!” he yells in between sobs, his face getting more and more red as the tears stream down his face. and you hate this too, because you didn’t think this whole process would cause each of you to bawl your eyes out because you don’t want to leave a love and comfort you’ve both outgrown.
you wiped his tears with your fingers, caressing his cheeks to reassure him that none of this is his fault. you needed to be strong for him and yourself, because unfortunately this is life and even the shittiest things happen to good people.
falling out of love unfortunately falls into that category.
he places a kiss on your forehead and wraps his arms tightly around your frame as a final goodbye, embracing all of you within these last few moments as a reminder of how much love and respect he has for you.
“so this is it.” he whispers softly, slowly getting up from the bed and untangling himself from his previous hold on you, acting as if his emotional outburst didn’t even happen, composing himself to make this already hard process the slightest bit easier.
matching his actions, you get up as well and follow him out of the bedroom, glancing back at your half empty room and feeling your heart shatter.
no more stealing his sweaters when you’re cold and want to be comfy. no more late nights of talking or making love. no more doyoung.
“this is it.” you whisper back, not having much to say, the tightness in your chest growing further as you continue to relish in such heartbreak together. you were each other’s first serious loves, and not having that constant in your lives will be such a heart wrenching adjustment.
“i love you, doyoung.” you say, needing to remind him that there will always be a part of him in your heart and that you’re sorry things ended this way.
“i know, love. i’ll always love you. i’ll talk to you soon, okay?”
“i’d like that.” you nod, the emotions filling up your chest, suddenly making it hard to breathe knowing this is all happening now. “be safe getting to your apartment.”
“always.” he winked, tears evident in his eyes as he began to turn his body away from yours and towards the final box beside the front door, turning the knob and leaving for good- gone from the love and home you’ve both invested so much time and warmth into.
you’ve spent so much of your life with this man, planned so much and anticipated such a beautiful future just for it to end and for you both not to know how to fix the broken pieces you left each other in.
maybe someday in the future you and doyoung will get back together and plan that beautiful wedding and have those three beautiful kids in a big house with a pool and a baby french bulldog.
but as for now you are letting go.
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