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#alina x oc
kasagia · 11 months
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I'll be back for you
Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x reader, Kaz Brekker x reader Summary: The Moon Summoner ran away with Alina from the Little Palace with the help of Kaz Brekker's crows. The group successfully escaped from Darkling's hands, but that doesn't mean he will forget about his Y/N. He's going to chase her until she is in his arms again. However, Mr. Brekker did not let his childhood friend disappear without a trace from his life again. He will protect her. For all costs. After all, she was his newest investment. Warning(s): Darkling, Kaz fights haphephobia (but not as severe for him ), reader argues with Baghra, reader has internal moral conflict, curses, fights, and their red aftermath, I used a quote from TVD and The Invisible Life of Addie Laurie because… they fit and I love them veeery much It's my first one-shot for both Darkling and Kaz, so please be gentle (I'm very nervous and excited at the same time to publish it) <3 Word count: 14k (too long, someone should take me away from the keyboard in the middle of this)
~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 (end) ~•♤♤♤•~
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Every night since you escaped with Alina and Genya with the help of your childhood friend Kaz and his crows from Ravka, you've been haunted by nightmares. No. Not the usual horrible flashbacks of your past in Ketterdam or the Little Palace.
HE visited you.
The Darkling. The Black Heretic. The man who promised to keep your heart safe and broke it in two along with your trust.
Genya has a right to warn you about powerful men. But you, the lost girl kidnapped by slave hunters from Ketterdam, the girl who has nothing to lose and was happy enough to somehow end up in the general's tent and find out about being one of the most powerful Grisha, didn't want to listen to her.
You foolishly believed that you, of all people, were able to charm the most dangerous man in all Ravka with your beauty, character and mind.
You believed that sweet words, longing glances and tender moments between you were real, that they meant something.
But it was all just a game. A game that brought him your affection and blind trust. And Kirigan, Darkling, or Alexander played in it like mastermind.
You should have listened to Genya. At least those damn dark eyes wouldn't haunt you every time you closed yours.
With the taste in men you have, you should have predicted that the first guy you hooked up with would be a psychopath. Fate could only be a little bit more favorable to you and not connect you to the hundreds-year-old black heretic who created the fold.
You've always had a weakness for villains and gray characters.
Your first teenage crush only proved it.
Because who else but you would fall in love with a bastard boy from the barrel who started his criminal career with the Dregs, who couldn't stand the touch of other people, and who wanted nothing more in his life than revenge on Pekka Rollins?
If I survive this shit, I really should find someone normal to be with.
You thought before you somehow managed to fall asleep for the first time in a month, hoping that your bond with the Darkling would weaken for those few hours when you tried to find peace.
~•♤♤♤•~
It was pure darkness around you. Not that one when all the lights went out and it's only you and your bed. No. They felt too familiar for you to confuse them with anything else. Those were his shadows.
He must have been near, playing with you as he always had.
You carefully took one step forward. The shadows parted in front of you, so you could see the ground. You bent down to your boot and pulled out a dagger, hiding it behind the sleeve of your blouse. You had to be ready for anything. Even if it meant fighting the shadow lord himself in your own subconscious. You sighed, stepping uncertainly into the darkness.
Your eyes quickly adjusted to the place around you, allowing you to move faster along the path. You recognized this bloody spot. The path in the woods you raced down when he took you for your first ride. Then he dragged you to HIS fountain, telling you nonsense about how it's only here among other Grishas that you discover your true self. He was already weaving his manipulative web around you, and you fell into it like an oblivious fly.
The snap of a twig stopped you. You looked around, not seeing anything at all except for the fountain in the distance. You flinched as his shadows gently pushed you forward.
"I'm not going to play another of your games, General!" you screamed as you spun around, walking forward. If he was already disturbing you, at least he might have had the honor to step out of the shadows.
"Call me Aleksander…"
You shivered as you felt his soft whisper against your neck. You spun, summoning your light and shooting into the space behind you. Unfortunately, it didn't encounter any Black Heretics on its way.
You huffed angrily, continuing your walk until you reached the fountain.
It was different than when he brought you here last time. The engravings have changed. They no longer told the story of the Black Heretic who created the fold. They were of you and Aleksander. Slowly falling in love.
"The union of darkness and his light." you felt your body tremble as the fabric of his kefta brushed your hand.
"I would never have taken you for such a sentimental fool." you turned to face him, taking a step back to increase the distance between you. With a very smug smirk, you noticed that he had dark circles under his eyes. Good. At least the son of a bitch suffers as much as you do. "Especially not after what Baghra had told me."
"My mother has the amazingly irritating gift of ruining my plans. She also doesn't like the people I care about much."
"Hmm… what a pity. Maybe if you weren't planning to use us as weapons in your plans, I'd care more. Also, don't try to tell me that there are people in this world who are more important to you than yourself. We both know I'm not going to fall for it again."
"I understand your resentment." you laughed, shaking your head in disbelief as you turned your gaze back to the fountain. "What's so funny?" you relished every irritated word directed at you. Maybe you couldn't seriously hurt him physically, but at least you could be a pain in his ass.
"I just forgot how easy it is for you to choose words that both tell the truth and work in your favor. Please, continue. I didn't truly laugh for a very long time."
"You're making a mistake." he stood next to you, grabbing your arm to turn you toward him.
You yanked your arm out of his grip as soon as your powers met in that familiar dance of dark and light. You both sighed, stunned by the sudden combination of your powers coursing through your veins. You opened your eyes, which you closed in the flow of the moment, meeting his tender, longing gaze. The man reached out to cup your cheek, but you pulled away from him before your skin had a chance to touch again.
"Funny. That's what I heard from your mother before she made me realize what shit I got into."
"One conversation with my mother, and you're ready to give it all up? Just because she was faster than me? Because she revealed a truth about me that she had no right to? What if I wanted to tell you right after I dealt with the group that wanted to attack you and Miss Starkov?" the grudge in his eyes only fueled your anger. He had no right to resent you for running away from him at the earliest opportunity when he had been hiding this important piece of his past for so long.
"What does it matter, general? None of it was real anyway." you growled, turning your back on him again so as not to reveal your hidden emotions to him. You didn't want him to know that you still cared. Indifference was a worse punishment for him than your wrath.
"So c'mon. Prove your point. Turn around, look me in the eyes, and tell me that you didn't feel anything towards me for even the slightest moment."
You wanted. You really did. To look directly into his soul-black eyes and say that he meant as much to you as the dust under your shoes. However, you both knew very well that it would be just a poor lie. And you both knew each other well enough to know when the other was lying.
"Just because my foolish heart longs for something, it doesn't mean I'll give in to its stupid desires. Wasn't you the one who told me that wanting makes us weak?"
"You should know I've changed my mind by now." the sound of leaves crunching under his boots was the only warning you got before you felt his presence behind you. "You. You are changing my mind."
"Don't tell me I have any influence over you. It's a poor play. You can do better, Kirigan."
"You and I may change the world, Y/N…" you flinched as you heard the exact same words he said here so many months ago. You turned to face him when you felt the coldness of one of his shadows wrapping around your leg. You pointed your dagger at the man standing only one, little step away from you. He didn't seem affected at all as you pointed the dagger at him. He didn't even look at it. His eyes were only on yours. "You may not see it now, too blinded by your righteous, but not entirely fair, anger at me, but deep down, you know that we are destined for greater things than others. You, me, and Alina together can be the strongest creatures in the world." 
"You know very well that we never wanted to live like this. Neither of us."
"Do you? Alina maybe doesn't want to be the Saint, but you, Y/N?" you took a step back and another as the black heretic approached you with his every word. He stood in front of you, letting the dagger you were holding in your trembling hands touch his chest. He smiled almost mockingly, seeing that your weapon against him was exactly the same one he gave you on your birthday, provoking your anger again. To spite him, you summoned wispy beams of white light that began to radiate from your hand to chase away his shadows.
"You don't know what I want." you growled, pressing the dagger harder against his heart to remind him that you were in control here. He could sneak into your dreams, but at night you were the most powerful Grisha in this bloody world. And even he had to reckon with your power.
"Yet I still see a desire in your eyes." you shifted your gaze to him, watching him silently and with hostility as his face was illuminated only by your powers. You were disgusted to find that, despite his betrayal, he was still equally handsome to you. "Not only for me but also for my power. You, my little moonlight, you want to be just like me. Strong, powerful, and ageless." he raised his hand deftly, dodging your dagger, and, under your watchful gaze, brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, stroking your cheek as he did so. He took a step towards you, causing you to press the blade against his neck as he got close enough to whisper in your ear. "You can run as far as you want, but you don't run from the truth that's inside you. And when you finally understand what you really want, I'll be there for you, waiting with open arms for my saint moon."
"Have fun waiting for this day, Morozova." you whispered, not giving in to his piercing gaze.
"I am a very patient man, after a thousand years on this earth, you will be too, Y/L/N."
"I'm not you, Aleksander. I don't wanna live forever, and I'm not gonna. I won't see the only people I truly love and care about die before me. Even eternity and unimaginable power are not worth it."
"They're still people you love and who can share this fate with you. Who will live long enough to be with you forever." one of his shadows began to wrap around your hand, forcing you to remove the dagger from his neck.
He leaned closer to you and rested his forehead against yours. You sighed, shivering as the scent of his familiar perfume enveloped you after so many weeks apart. You were tempted to give in to him again. And that dark desire in your heart terrified you more than the capabilities of the Black Heretic caressing your cheek.
"This isn't love. It was just a game. We were just playing a game. The same one you created a long time ago to earn my trust. But I'm no longer that naive girl who is desperate for somebody's attention and love. You made me stronger, crueler, ruthless. And believe me, general, I'll repay you for all you have done."
"You don't believe that. You can't have believed my mother that I am your villain so easily." in other circumstances, where your heart wasn't beating for his, you'd probably laugh at the desperation in his voice. But now that every fiber of you longed for the man before you, there was only one thing you could do.
"Then tell me, Aleksander..." you leaned in to him, rubbing his nose with yours as he closed his eyes and waited for your lips to finally touch after weeks of craving your slightest touch. "Why was I so tempted to do this?" you dug into his tempting mouth, giving you both what you needed.
In your head, you explained this crime against your friends as wanting to do what was originally intended to be your primary goal. The gentle prolongation of your longing, amazing, desperate kiss before you plunged the dagger into his side without the slightest hesitation wasn't your fault at all. Aleksander moaned into your lips, pulling away from you as he felt blood trickle down his side.
"Leave me alone, or I will make myself your villain." you whispered into his mouth before you somehow managed to get yourself out of your "dream".
~•♤♤♤•~
"Y/N?" Alina's soft whisper wakes you up. You opened your eyes, feeling how your chest was burning for fresh air and your heart beating faster than it should. The woman was sitting next to you, holding your hand.
In the corner of your eye, you can see Nina standing in the doorway of the room Kaz graciously assigned to you after you arrived in Ketterdam. You can swear on saints that Inej was looking through your window before she went - probably going to tell Kaz about your fourth nightmare this week.
And it was only Tuesday.
You felt attacked from all sides. If not Inej through the window, then the madmen through the door or in your dreams.
"What are you doing here? It's well after midnight." you asked her, gratefully accepting a towel from Nina to wipe the sweat from your face. Alina and Genya lived far from the club, in motels on opposite sides of the city.
"Just in case someone betrays us. At least one of you will save yourself if the Darkling comes to these parts."
Brekker's brilliant and preventive mind had already terrified you before you stepped off the boat onto the familiar land of Ketterdam. The fact that he thought through and arranged your accommodation before anyone could ask him was either another display of his otherworldly mind or a blatant act of arrogance and overconfidence in his strength against the Darkling. But you knew Kaz too well to assume that he underestimated the power of the Black Heretic even for a moment.
"Nice to see you too. Kaz sent for me."
"Since when does the sun summoner do all the Dreg king's orders?" you asked, making Nina laugh.
"Since the moon summoner is constantly skipping her bedtime. You have to sleep. You can't always be on Jesper's special energetic drinks." she scolded you like a little child, to which you snorted indignantly.
"I will take a gorgeous, lovely, very long nap right after we kill Kirigan. Before then, nobody can make me do that. And tell Kaz I remembered him as braver the last time we saw each other on your way back to the motel."
"We are just worried about you, Y/N. You slept the whole night only once since we left."
"Don't tell me you're surprised. If you were me, you would do the same."
"Maybe. But we both know you're stronger than me. I know you can beat him, and even if you can't do this alone, which I doubt…" she wrapped her hand around yours, making you look into her eyes again. "You must know I will always be by your side, like you by mine. It's you and me against the darkness, Y/N."
"You know, you've spent way too much time on that boat with your toughts. You sound like an old uncle giving good advice or something."
"Speaking of advice, if I were you, I wouldn't insult the only person who can wake you up from… this." Nina waved her hand in a circle, pointing to the miserable state you were in.
"You should see Kirigan. I stabbed him." you replied with a self-satisfied smirk, watching the heartrender gasp in shock and Alina shake her head in disapproval.
"What have I told you about starting unnecessary arguments with him and maiming him?"
"That this is a good way to vent my anger and frustration?" you asked innocently with a huge smile.
Alina drew breath to argue with you, but a knock on the door distracted her. You glanced at Jesper, peering into your room, and wrinkled your nose at the light-burnt sheets you and Alina had left.
"The boss wants you, moon girl."
"Not only him." you murmured, pulling the remnants of the quilt from yourself. You took your clothes out of the closet and turned to the people in the room with your hands on your hips. "Are you leaving or staying for the show?" Alina mumbled a silent apology, blushing in embarrassment as she left, along with a laughing Jesper and an amused Nina.
You sighed as you stood in front of the mirror and brushed away the sweaty hair that was stuck to your face. Thanks to Inej and Kirigan, it looks like you'll have a long conversation with Kaz about your safety again. Your friend was sometimes a bigger pain in the ass than you—an achievement that wasn't granted by you to just anyone.
"I just fucking hope you're writhing in pain right now." you muttered to yourself, not believing for a moment in the sincerity of what you just said.
~•♤♤♤•~
"You wanted me." you entered the Dirtyhands' office without knocking, taking a place of honor on one of the two comfortable armchairs in the room. Kaz didn't look up from his papers, but the slight crease of irritation on his forehead told you he had noticed your presence. You were surprised that, after years of separation, you could still read him easily. "It's rude to ignore your guest."
"It's rude to come in without knocking." he replied to your provocation, tracing something he had just written. You snorted in amusement, seeing that you managed to distract him.
"Well, I didn't come here for no reason. You sent Jes for me."
"Jes?" a diminutive you used for his sharpshooter, has earned the man's attention. He gave you a questioning look, throwing the papers on his desk.
"What? Can't I make a friend other than you?"
"I'm your boss." he hummed, getting his cane up from his desk and walking to his dresser. You rolled your eyes as you watched the man's back. The son of a bitch knew perfectly well that you hated it when he didn't look at you during a conversation.
"Sure, if it helps you sleep, tell yourself what you want, Brekker."
"You live at my club, sleep here, eat with my crows, and waste my time taking some useless gossip from downstairs." he enumerated, turning over his things and searching persistently for something.
"And I'd been doing this for four years before you became Mr. Scary Dirtyhands from the Barrel. You just proved my point, Kazzle. We are friends."
You got up from your chair and stood next to him. You glanced at the contents of his drawer and frowned, noticing something familiar. You reached for a small silver box with his REAL initials on it, but the man slammed the drawer shut before you could get your hands on the find. You snorted indignantly as you noticed the smug smirk on his face as he nearly clipped your fingers for your meddling.
Kaz Brekker was sentimental enough to keep the ashtray you gave him.
You involuntarily remembered what you told him when you handed it to him.
"I know you don't smoke and don't celebrate your birthday, but I think that's a pretty nice metaphor and the closure you need."
"What? An old ashtray from the market? Which you probably swept from under the noses of some heavy smokers."
"No, genius, in case you haven't noticed, it has a special engraving. Read it."
"For K.R., let him rest in peace. What's that supposed to mean?"
"You can consider it what you want. A keepsake of your former self, a lost life you might have had, an urn for the ashes of your former self... we both know you're not the same man you used to be. And you have every right to be, Kaz. It's just... I think you deserve something commemorating your old self. The boy who stole half-rotten apples with me to survive. Now you are someone else—someone stronger, wiser, cunninger... but know that I will never forget Kaz, who was my only light when I was at my worst."
"That's pretty sentimental for you. Also, calling me light is not quite an appropriate metaphor." he replied coolly, returning to his book.
You nodded to him, saying goodbye. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him stroke a silver object for a moment and put it in his pants pocket. You smiled. Apparently, you weren't the only sentimental fool in Ketterdam.
"Then, as my friend, you won't mind telling me about that strange connection between you and the Darkling that keeps you from sleeping without threatening to set my club on fire with your dazzling moonlight?" he asked, snapping you out of your flashback.
"No, because, as my friend, you won't be nosy, and out of politeness, you won't ask."
"I anticipated this reaction. That's why I got this." a velvet ring box magically appeared in his hands.
"Are you going to propose to me? Oh, Kazzie, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for this! You don't have to kneel, sweetheart. We can call Jes, and he'll do it for you. It's a perfect opportunity for him to practice before asking Wylan."
"Can you be serious for just one moment, please?" he asked, blushing slightly and trying to give you one of his famous menacing looks.
"Sorry, I couldn't resist. Besides, you could have foreseen in that plan of yours that I would never waste such an opportunity."
"Just open it." he sighed, tossing you the box. Too curious to find out what was inside, you decided to leave the poor boy alone and refrained from commenting further. You widened your eyes as you saw the real ring. "What? No enthusiastic and loud: "Yes, Kazzie, I'll marry you!", so my crows can tease me about it too? To be honest, I'm disappointed, Y/N."
"Well, I could have been joking about it when I didn't have a ridiculously beautiful ring in front of me. Sorry that I'm a little confused, Kaz."
"It's good you like it, but I'd rather know if it works as it should. Put it on your finger."
"As romantic as always." you murmured, trying on a silver ring with an opal and small diamonds around the stone. You raised your hand and, by using your power, increased the light reflected by the moon that was still in the sky so it could illuminate your new jewelry. "It's beautiful, but I have absolutely no idea what it is supposed to do."
"Protect you." you glanced back at Kaz, only to discover that he had been staring at you the entire time. The white sparkles in his eyes caused by your light captivated you more than the shining diamonds. You shook your head, remembering what happened the last time you gave in to your stupid crush.
"Protect me?"
"I've been doing some research with Alina and Nina about the bond between you and him, the amplifiers… we believe this will weaken the bond between you enough for you to sleep peacefully. He will not enter your mind uninvited." he said, spitting out the words about the Darkling like he was a plague. But you were more interested in something quite different from his open dislike of the Black Heretic.
"Why? Why are you getting through all of it for me? It's not your war to fight. You have no interest in it."
"I have. Since I got you out of the Little Palace, you've been my investment. And I protect everything I invest in and what's worth my time. No matter what."
"You do realize I won't bring you any profit? Alina would be a better choice than me." you questioned his choice. Kaz turned to the window, as if looking for Inej, whose arrival would interrupt this uncomfortable conversation.
Unfortunately for him, the saints had no watch over him. And one of them was waiting for him to gather his thoughts and answer her question. He had to do this without betraying the emotions that had been bubbling up inside him since he had first seen her at one of the Dreg's raids. He was lost the second he saw her and completely fated to love her after their first conversation.
But she couldn't know it.
She couldn't know that his heart was gone with her and that it took him ages to find himself after she disappeared. He promised himself to keep her away from him. To make sure he wouldn't fall for her beauty, mind, eyes, smile, and laugh like he had done as a child. But the second he saw her again, he knew that his heart was hers. Hers to keep, hold, break, play.
But she couldn't know it.... At least not now. Not when he had just snatched her from the Darkling's grasp.
Not when he wasn't ready to love her the way she should be loved.
"That's for me to evaluate and for you to make sure I won't regret this. Besides, I only invest in one-of-a-kind. I don't need more narcissistic saints to go into my office like it was their own." he said after a long silence, without taking his eyes off the window.
He was afraid that his eyes would betray the truth hidden in his stupid heart. He was grateful to all above that she wasn't a heartrender and couldn't feel his treacherous heart beating madly every time he looked at her. He just had to make sure Nina didn't reveal his little secret. He didn't know that the woman had been blackmailed into a similar case by the moon summoner.
"So I'm pretty lucky. I would die if I had to sleep on those inconvenient motel beds."
"Considering how much sleep you actually get, you're unlikely to notice a difference." you gasped, feigning indignation at the mischievous, amused tone of his voice.
"You're a cruel bastard, Kaz Brekker." he finally turned to you with a small smirk on his face. You giggled, only widening his smile.
"Go and check your ring. I hope you won't be threatened by any ugly faces."
"Yes, boss." you saluted, walking towards the door. You opened it and were about to leave when an idea popped into your head. You leaned against the door frame, looking at the man taking his place at the desk. "Kazzie?" you asked sweetly, biting your lip to keep from laughing too soon. The Bastard of the Barrel gave you a questioning look, fearing the familiar tone of your voice and the question coming. "As your fiancée, am I going to get half of your club?"
"Over my dead, cold body." he replied without a second of hesitation, perfectly prepared for such a provocation from your side.
"You know, you need to work on sharing if you plan to be husband material in the future. I feel sorry for your future spouse, unless it'll be your job."
"Go to sleep before I put you in bed myself."
"You should know better than to scare me with a good time, sweetheart!" you shouted back, leaving and pushing your way through the crowd of a few shocked Dregs who had probably heard the part about the fiancée and whom Kaz called to his office as soon as he saw them.
And as soon as he is done with them, Kaz will rip your legs out of your pretty ass. Even Alina and Nina will not be able to help you.
~•♤♤♤•~
The ring worked great. From that night on, you slept like a baby every day. The Darkling's face appeared only occasionally in your nightmares (both bloody ones and… more pleasant ones). But it wasn't REALLY him. Just a messed-up version of your sick imagination.
In the meantime, you trained with Alina and Nina (the woman needed the presence of other Grishas in Brekker's gang; besides, she was an amazing friend, and she also made wonderful waffles); you developed your powers; and you two gossiped with Genya, as she changed your looks every week so that no one would accidentally recognize you (by the way, you learned that David was heading this way to reunite with the love of his life).
You became close to Jes (you had the honor of being trained with HIS PISTOLS) and Inej, whose comforting company was invaluable (as well as the rooftop stealth lessons. Kaz cursed her after the first time you scared him by climbing through his office window and giving you a barrier. Of course you had your mind, and you didn't listen to him. Your unexpected visits to his office only became more frequent.)
So you could say that everything was on its way back to normality.
But it wasn't. Because one fine day, when the crows, Kaz, you, Alina, and Genya were eating breakfast at his club, someone showed up at your door.
Someone you didn't want to see more than the Darkling himself.
"What the fuck is she doing here, if I may culturally ask?" Alina gave you an apologetic look as Baghra walked casually into the crows' kitchen like she belonged here. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Kaz taking any sharp metal objects from the table that you might have used to attack the woman.
You and Baghra had a rough relationship. Due to the fact that you and Aleksander were something, the woman did not look at you very favorably. You had no intention of fawning over a woman who wanted to kill her own son, either. Maybe your feelings for the Darkling were... unclear, but you wouldn't wish anyone, not even your worst enemy, a mother who was willing to stand against her own child, to spurn him instead of doing... anything to help him out of his darkness. It was not in line with your moral views. But no one here seemed to care since they invited the mother of Satan to your table.
"It's nice to see you too, Y/N."
"I don't even have enough respect for you to lie to you and admit that seeing you didn't ruin my day. I will ask one last time..." you got up from the table, shielding Kaz and the crows as you summoned your power. "What are you doing here?"
"My son is looking for you all over the world, do you think I won't try to get to you first before he does?"
"Oh, you've already shown how much you care about outdoing Kirigan in reaching us. I'm asking you, what do you want from us?"
"I came here for you. Because of you, child." you stiffened slightly, wondering what else the old woman had to say. But you would die before admitting that Baghra's help would be invaluable to your little band of rebels. Your pride was both your greatest strength and weakness.
"Well, excuse me, but I have more important things to do than listen to some old lady's ravings. I haven't finished my breakfast yet, and I'm far too sober for another conversation about how everyone wants to use me as a weapon."
"Every day I'm less surprised by how you ended up with my son. You two are a perfect match for each other." she snapped, annoyed at your indifferent attitude.
"I'd suggest you get to the point. You were the one who wanted to meet with us. As our moon summoner mentioned, we don't have to listen to you. And trust me, I have absolutely no intention of stopping her when she wants to kick you out of my club." Kaz stood next to you, measuring the woman with a watchful gaze.
You were proud that he believed in your and Alina's powers and wasn't afraid to provoke the shadow summoner in your presence. You cast a fleeting glance at him, watching as Baghra gave him an appraising look.
"Mr. Breaker. It would be better for you and your club if work with the summoners of the sun and moon ended in Ravka. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."
"I never make ill-considered decisions, and certainly not out of fear." he replied with his poker, business face.
"This is only a trait of the greatest winners or greatest losers."
"You don't have to worry about him. Mr. Brekker is always on the winning team." you answered for him, having had enough of this woman. Unfortunately, it looked like she wouldn't be leaving you so soon.
"Turn that light out, girl, before the Grishas swarm here. I won't hurt your boyfriend and his friends." you frowned as you heard Jes coughing in the background, trying not to laugh. With a wave of your hand, the white light around you vanished. You watched in displeasure as a smirk began to form on Baghra's lips.
"He is/I am not my/her boyfriend." together with Kaz, you both uttered these words as Baghra pushed past you. This caused you to turn to one another and exchange equally awkward, perplexed looks.
"Whatever, just get your lovebird butts over here." she murmured as she unfolded the map on the table and took a few items out of her bag. You snorted at seeing a small wooden statue of Aleksander.
It was going to be a long and tiring morning.
~•♤♤♤•~
"We have to hurry before your boy gets here. Good thing he is walking with the cane, at least it keeps him from sneaking up on us." Baghra growled at you. She'd only been here a week, and she'd already ruled everyone. You were no longer surprised at where Aleksander inherited his incredible self-confidence and arrogance.
"For the love of God, I'm telling you for the last time, KAZ IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND. Besides, if I were you, I wouldn't underestimate him. You could actually learn from him. You'll need a cane soon, too."
"Can you two just stop arguing for once and focus on the task at hand?" the sun summoner lingered, following you to the basement of the Crow Club.
"I'm sorry, Alina, that I'd rather banter with that witch than figure out how to seduce her son, lull his guard down, pluck the antlers of a wonderful steg out of his hand, and break the link between us once and for all."
"Start by undoing a few buttons on your blouse and letting your hair down; that should be enough for him to lose his mind." she advised you, making you and Alina shudder, both equally abashed.
"Seriously?" you asked mockingly, giving her a disgusted look. Nevertheless, you followed the woman's suggestion. "What is the next step? Shall I wear some nice underwear?"
"Not necessarily, but it would be nice to take off that ring. I doubt Aleksander would appreciate that someone other than himself gave you such gaudy jewelry." you snorted, taking off the only thing keeping the Darkling from crossing the walls of your mind.
You bypassed Baghra's outstretched hand and handed the ring to Alina. The older woman snorted indignantly at what you stuck your tongue out at. She didn't expect you to trust her with anything, even something as small as Kaz's ring, right?
"Done. What's next?"
"You need to make a connection. Every time he thinks of you or you think of him, you seek each other out and make a link. Imagine his face, voice, and silhouette; recall some memory associated with him; do anything to have him in front of your eyes. It should work and take you to where he is now. Just like when you two were getting into each other's dreams before Mr. Brekker gave you this ring."
"I did not seek him of my own free will. It just happened." you defended yourself, not wanting anyone to think you were looking for the Darkling like a lost puppy.
"You know him. He will continue to invade your thoughts and your life to convince you of the error of your ways and choices. This ring can work now, but what happens when you two get stronger in the future? It will stop working. You will be condemned to endure his pervasive presence. In the morning, afternoon, nights, and midnights. He won't let you go. Never. You cannot extract the stag from your own body. So you must find a way to block him permanently. Not by some magic ring."
You sighed, realizing she was right. You will be free of him only when any bond between you is gone. The only thing you were afraid of was that it existed between you and the Darkling long before you killed the stag...
Darkness and its light. Moon and shadow. Destined to be together. United at the end of the day.
"And what if I fail and he chokes me, stabs me, or just uses the cut on me?"
"We will observe the energy around you. If we see too many shadows or your light, we'll pull you out."
"All right. Let's get this over with." you sat down, leaning against the wall of the Crow Club basement, praying to all of Inej's mighty saints that your plan would work.
You closed your eyes, remembering the moment before your big performance at the winter fete.
You had to pretend that you didn't know Kaz, and then you had no idea what he was doing here wearing one of the soldiers uniforms. He promised to explain everything to you, but then Aleksander came.
"I'll take her from here." he said to Kaz, letting him know that he was no longer needed.
But he has not left you. Aleksander ignored him, examining your kefta carefully. It was beautiful. Genya decorated it with silver threads and embroidered stars and moons in different phases. However, the fact that probably delighted him the most was its black (but actually dark navy blue) color. But he didn't care about the true color of your kefta as long as it looked black to any other observer.
A clear signal that you were his moon.
"I have something for you." he whispered as he leaned closer to you so that your noses were practically touching. He pulled something shiny out of his sleeve. He held the silver chain up to your eye level so you could see the pendant. Moon with a star. You shifted your gaze from the shiny object to those mesmerizing black eyes staring at you in pure adoration. "I know you're practically festooned with these symbols, but I wanted you to know..." he interrupted, brushing your hair over one shoulder so he could place the necklace over your neck. He planted a quick, tender kiss on your nape as he clicked the silver jewelry. "That you're not just a Saint Y/N, summoner of the moon. You're mine moonlight in the worst darkness of mine. My hope and peace. The only light I let through my shadows."
You grabbed the pendant, noticing your initials carved into the back of the moon.
"It's beautiful." you turned in his arms to whisper in his ear, making him shiver as you kissed his earlobe. "Aleksander..."
~•♤♤♤•~
You opened your eyes.
A dim light illuminated Kirigan's war room.
You did it. Now all you had to do was seduce him. Piece of cake.
You let yourself watch him flick through some papers, wrinkling his nose and occasionally running a hand through his hair. The exact same one with the stag antler still stuck in it. You shook your head, remembering your task. You had to outsmart him. And in such a wise way that it didn't cross his mind that you might have bad intentions towards him.
"Aleksander." you whispered as you stepped out of the shadows. The man either really didn't notice you or he was a brilliant actor, judging by the pure shock that painted his face the moment he turned to meet your gaze. "You seem surprised to see me."
"I am." his mask of indifference and self-confidence quickly fell back into place. "But perhaps I shouldn't be. I should have known you'd prove to be an apt pupil. Not many can learn that trick." he placed the papers on the desk and leaned against it. "But after our last meeting, I had the impression that you didn't want to see me again. What changed your mind to seek me out?"
"I hate to say this, but I realized you were right."
"How so?" he began to watch you with interest, too curious to know what you were going to say to repay you for stabbing him last time. The fact that he didn't pounce on you with his shadows the moment he saw you gave you an odd sense of confidence. Maybe you could have made it.
"I was meant for more. And you were the first person to see me as I truly am. First to help me realize what I'm meant for. First to tech me how to use my power and how to see it as something more incredible than terrifying. First to see, I was more than a scared little girl. That I was powerful Grisha and I can do anything I want." with every word you said and every step you took towards him, you could see his mask crack open, revealing his true emotions. However, there was still a shadow of uncertainty and suspicion in his eyes. You had to remove it if you wanted to win this battle.
"Was I? And what about Alina? Or your helpful friends that take you away from Little Palace?" you hoped you didn't show that his words affected you. You were afraid that somehow he might have discovered a little help from Kaz and his crows.
"They… they don't understand the power growing within me. I thought that Alina might share my feelings, but … it seems to me that we understand our possibilities completely differently when it comes to our powers. And my friends… I think they're more afraid of what I can do than admire it as… as you did."
"That's not their fault. I did try to warn you. Tried to explain that with so much power that flows in our veins, usually comes fear from the side of our loved ones."
"I know. I think I'm starting to finally understand that now." you took one slow step towards him, feeling his watchful gaze on you. "There are no others like us, and they never will be. We are connected by our powers. Alina can live without us, but you and me… you and me are destined to work together and to stand by our sides. There is no darkness without light, but it's the moon that brings it into the night and that lives among the shadows, working with them… Like calls to like, right, Aleksander?"
In his eyes, you could see how much he wanted to believe you, how much he wanted the words you said to be true... but you knew that Aleksander lived too long to believe only empty words. He needed conclusive proof that you were on his side and that you were only his moon. And you had to convince him somehow.
"As I delighted as I am that you found your way to me, what do you want?"
"That thing that binds us. I think you fear it more than you actually care to admit."
"I fear everything there is to fear; it makes me strong. I understand things about power that you've had years yet to learn, moonlight."
"Well, as you said, with a good teacher, I'm a very apt pupil. But I think we both know… that it's not all about power, though, is it?" you walked the distance between you two and stood chest-to-chest with him. "What about the other bond we share? That one I was avoiding for too long." you slowly cup his cheek, making him close his eyes at the touch of your soft skin. You tenderly stroked one of his black scars on his cheek, which made the Black Heretic sighe in relief. "I want you, Aleksander." he opened his eyes, looking at you in disbelief when he tried to seek any sight of lies on your face. "And being in your presence terrifies me as much as making me feel… like I finally belonged somewhere. Like I was made by saints to be next to you. It felt... right in some crazy way."
"Love is for madmen, Y/N. And I've already told you…" you shivered as his cold fingertips touched the hot skin of your neck. His fingers went to the silver necklace—your only sin against your friends. He took the pendant in his hands and kissed it, not taking his eyes off yours. "You're my moonlight. Nothing has changed, and I doubt it ever will... for both of us."
You pulled him by the hair to connect your lips in a long-awaited kiss, too annoyed with how long you had to work him out. (Or too scared that his words are true.) You moaned as he bit your lips, and in one sweeping motion, he scooped you up off the floor and sat you on his desk.
He pulled away from you, dropping his kefta on the floor, and went back to kissing you as if you were the only one that mattered in this world. But the next amplifier's whereabouts map you laid on as he kissed your soul out of you was a glaring reminder that you could never have truly had him.
You would never be his first choice.
"Forgive me for stabbing you, then." you whispered into his mouth as you broke apart for a moment to catch your breath. He pressed into you more fervently than before, caressing your waist tenderly.
"I will have kissed these tempting, sweet lips, even if it means I'll get stabbed by you, every time I do it."
That was good to know, you thought, throwing your arms around his shoulders and slowly pulling out the dagger from your sleeve as he continued to kiss you greedily, like he wanted to sate himself with you while he still had you in his arms.
"Your words, not mine." you murmured, catching his mouth with yours while driving the dagger into his hand. He snarled, breaking away from you and trying in vain to yank the metal out of your hand. You tried to pry the last stag's bone out of him.
But suddenly, just as you were about to do it, you find yourself back in the basement of the Crows Club.
You were breathing fast, frantically looking around the room. Kaz was kneeling a step away from you and watching you worriedly as you tried to calm down.
From the cane that was on your leg and his firm grip on your arm, you figured out pretty quickly why you suddenly came back. You yanked your arm from his hand in your anger, forgetting his phobia of touch and how much of an achievement it was for him to hold your arm.
"What the hell, Brekker?! I had him! I could end this right there! UGH! Why did you let him break our connection?!" you screamed in frustration, looking resentfully at Alina and Baghra.
"You nearly blew yourself out with your power, and they couldn't bring you back."
"I had it under control, Kaz!"
"Oh, really?" he asked mockingly, struggling to his feet with the help of his cane and walking over to you with equal anger painted in his eyes. "Because it didn't look good from my point of view. You could have blown up the whole club..."
"Of course you would only care about your stupid, fucking club! Forgive me, Dirtyhands. Next time I'm going to save the damn world from the Darkling, I'll pick up a place other than one of your fucking bases!" you yelled at him, pushing past a shocked Alina and Baghra.
"Y/N, come back here!" he shouted after you. The distinctive sound of his cane told you he was following you.
"I'm not your fucking property, Brekker! I can go anywhere I want!" you screamed, running as fast and far for him as you could, thanking everyone above that Brekker wasn't able to catch up with you. You needed a moment to yourself. And you only knew one place in all of Ketterdam where you could be truly alone.
~•♤♤♤•~
For a long time, you hated harbour. It was a reminder of your weakness—a reminder of a girl who got kidnapped by slave hunters. Then you met Aleksander and became one of the strongest Grisha. From then harbour was for you to remind you of the birth of Saint Y/N. Moon summoner. It was funny for you to see how easy it is to get on the ship and go anywhere you want. Be anyone you want. But you don't have this choice anymore. Not until your past stops chasing you whenever you close your eyes.
"I knew you'd be here." Kaz's voice below you made you shiver, but you didn't grace him with your gaze. "You'd be too merciful to me by choosing an easily accessible spot, wouldn't you?" he grumbled as he clambered next to you on the crates of goods. He sighed as he managed to climb up. He tossed his cane, catching it spectacularly and resting it against the crate beneath you. He leaned forward, staring out at the harbour with you, when the wind blew his hair, messing up his always perfectly styled hairdo.
"Nobody made you follow me around, Kazzle." you murmured, casting a fleeting glance at him, grinning mischievously at how tired he was of climbing crates. Someone here was in bad shape. Brekker must sit with these plans and papers for too long.
"I did." you turned your head to meet his piercing gaze. "I already told you. I take care of my investments."
"Maybe you're making a mistake."
"I'm never mistaken. I know when and how much to invest in something valuable."
"But what if I'm a lost cause? What if you're wrong this time? Why do you think I'm done with the Darkling? Me and him have so much in common... what if I become like him? Are you not afraid? That one day, in my naiveté, I'd decide Kirigan was worth a second chance and betray you? That one day I'll stop controlling my power and that I'll hurt you? How can you sit here so calmly and..."
"Because I know you better than myself. I may not believe in saints, but I believe in you, Y/N. I will always believe in you."
You swallowed, looking down in embarrassment. You didn't deserve this.
"I get caught up in it sometimes. That I return with memories to the Little Palace. I wonder what I could have done differently to prevent all this. How could I reason with him, what could I do to dissuade him from his plans. How to behave, what to say out loud, and what to keep to yourself. And I'm furious with Baghra that, being his mother, she didn't fight for him to the end; she gave up before we could do ANYTHING for him together. And I curse myself every time I feel guilty, knowing that I left him utterly alone. So tell me, Kaz, knowing now all these doubts growing within me, do you still believe in me?"
The killing silence told you everything you wanted to know.
"Come on. Go right ahead, Kazzie. Call me a fool, an idiot who wants to believe that everyone deserves someone close, someone they can trust. Who stupidly believes in giving people a second chance." you said, afraid to look up to see the revulsion in the eyes of the only person you could always count on.
Kaz said your name, but you ignored him completely, feeling tears slowly welling up in your eyes. Suddenly you felt the cold steel crow's head of his cane under your chin. Brekker forced you to look into his eyes. And you thanked all the saints for the tenderness that was still present in them.
"You know, I don't think that about you. You are a Grisha. The moon summoner. The only beacon of hope in the darkness. I think that in your job description lies faith even in the most deprived, lost, and broken souls."
"I didn't know that poetic side of you, Brekker."
"I've changed since the last time you saw me."
"Really?" you asked, nodding at his gloves and cane. He caught your eye, gripping the crow's head tighter. "Hey. You have every right to do that, Kaz, okay? I was kidding, and I didn't know it was still a sensitive subject. I'm sorry. Apart from that, I can name more. For example, you still have a stick in your ass when it comes to pranks. It was too easy to get on your nerves with Jes." you said, trying to make a joke to lighten the atmosphere.
"Looking now at you, it's better for humanity that you haven't become a saint. Saints, protect some wretch who would have asked you for help." you smiled at him, glad he understood your intentions.
"Now, I feel hurt, Kazzie. Wouldn't you pray to me if they hung my holy image up here somewhere?" you asked, offended, putting your hand over your heart.
He knew he would spend hours, days, and weeks praying to her, only to see her face again and hear the voice of the Saint of his heart...
"No. No saint has ever watched over me. It wouldn't make sense to pray to you either. Especially since I knew you personally before you became a mighty Grisha."
"Well, I'm no saint yet, but since I'm your newest investment, I guess that means I'm supposed to serve you in some way. And since I'm not going to be your errand dog or spy crow, I guess a good compromise would be if I became your bodyguard. Then you can't say that there's no saint watching over you."
"I don't need a guardian angel."
"It's good then that I'm far from being an angel." you stared at each other, the wind blowing your hair, as you enjoyed the understanding between you and the unspoken acknowledgment of your closeness.
Kaz Brekker could not have a weakness. This city would use it against him very quickly. But he felt that perhaps his weakness could be powerful enough to be his greatest asset instead of his darkest burden. Maybe he didn't have to worry about her that much.
"Ketterdam was boring without you. It was also harder to work without your… skills." he said uncertainly, averting his gaze from your piercing, mesmerizing eyes.
"Is that your way to tell me you missed me?" you were teasing him and pushing his cane. He almost fell over when you broke his only support. You almost couldn't prevent yourself from laughing.
"We could have gained much more kruge if you had been here."
"I didn't want to leave." you whispered, involuntarily remembering the day they kidnapped you.
"I know." he leaned towards you, forcing you to look into his eyes. "You don't have to worry about them. I made sure they were six feet deep underground before you even set foot in Ketterdam." your heart warmed at the thought that he was chasing them for you.
He made sure you were 100% safe and comfortable before he brought you back home. Home. You didn't think you'd find him among the crows, thieves, and the Dreg Club. You didn't think you'd feel this way about him—one of the men whose lifestyle was far from normal and safe.
"You're getting soft in your old age, Brekker." you replied with a half smile, holding back unwanted tears. You weren't that weak girl anymore. You were Grisha. And thanks to the man sitting next to you, you were (almost) free. You grabbed his cane, right next to the crow's head, where Kaz's hands were. His gaze flicked to where your hands were so close together. He turned his head to meet your watery eyes. "Thank you, Kaz. For everything. It means a lot to me. Even if it was foolish to break into the Darkling's palace and kidnap us like sacks of potatoes."
"It was the perfect plan! Nobody noticed us." he was indignant, immediately defending his action.
"Yeah, but what I and Alina get hit with every time Jesper and you steer that wooden cart over rocks is ours. You could really choose a path that wasn't made of stones."
"Next time, it's up to you to make a plan to escape the 500-year-old shadow summoner. We'll see how you do." he snorted, offended, but didn't move an inch. Contrary. His hand moved closer to yours, wrapping precariously around yours on his cane.
"Less than a week back in Ketterdam, and you're already letting me into your plans? Aww, I love you too, Kazzie."
He would give all the kruge of this world to hear those words from you for the rest of his life... and it surprised him that he wasn't afraid to admit it to himself at all.
"And I almost forgot how annoying you can be."
"Don't worry. I have all the time in the world to shrink your inflated ego and remind you of that, boss." Kaz held his breath. He stared at you searchingly, trying to find in your face the answer to whatever question he was asking in his head. You unknowingly scooted closer to each other so that your shoulders rested against each other.
You were much closer to each other before. Kaz (on his good days) even felt comfortable hugging you for a while. After years apart, you thought it would take ages for him to get used to your presence again and the brief touch without going underwater with Jordi.
But you were here. Holding hands, leaning against each other, and staring into each other's eyes.
You shivered as you felt his breath against your cheek when he leaned a little closer to you, testing his border.
"You're shining." he whispered softly, hypnotized, afraid to break the silence between you.
"What?"
"Your eyes are shining." his trembling hand took your cheek as you were watching him speechless. Even in your wildest dreams, you wouldn't suppose he would hold you like that. He truly changed. He beat Pekka, and now the King of Ketterdam was fighting with his demons. You were so proud of him and also sad that you weren't with him at the beginning of his road to healing. "And the light is coming out of your skin. You're shining like a star for lost souls."
"You're not lost... not anymore." you whispered, your voice trembling, fully understanding what he had left unsaid.
"I was. But now the moonlight is lighting up Ketterdam's darkness again."
"Kaz... I..." you held your breath, staring at him in anticipation. You didn't know what for. All you knew was that taking your eyes off him for even a second was an unforgivable crime.
Your noses were almost touching, your lips were the closest you've known each other. And Kaz was as calm as if he'd never had a haphephobia. As if the situation with Jordi never happened. You were afraid his waters would finally rise, interrupting your moment, but as soon as your foreheads touched, all the logical thoughts in your head went to hell. It was just you and him.
And you would still enjoy that closeness if the sound of breaking glass and Jesper's curses hadn't driven you apart.
"Here you are! How the hell did you get in there?! Get down! We're leaving in half an hour!" Jesper shouted to you from below and disappeared as quickly as he appeared. You cleared your throat, realized what Jes said after a long moment.
"We are leaving?" you asked, surprised. Bastard didn't say a word about going anywhere.
"Yes. I'll explain everything to you on the ship." he gave you a brush-off as he began his downward journey.
"On the ship? Kaz, what have you planned?!" you shouted angry as you followed him.
~•♤♤♤•~
"This is the dumbest plan ever made, and believe me, I've been to more than one of his idiotic ideas." you said, pointing at the offended Kaz.
Your great friends (and Baghra) have decided to sneak into the Darkling's palace, steal his maps and war plans, and set the Little Palace on fire.
You started to doubt their good sanity... or sobriety.
"Sooner or later, we have to sneak in there. Aleksander has stolen from me all the books and records of our ancestors; he is in possession of immense power, and we can not allow him to make use of it." you clenched your fists, almost ready to pounce on the woman for revealing the Darkling's true name.
"Who is Aleksander?" you ignored Kaz's question, nervously twirling the ring he gave you on your finger.
"Was he able to steal something from YOU? And you let him do it? How surprised I am."
"What are you implying?"
"I implying that we are in some huge coach driven by your men, leaving Ketterdam on your initiative and entering the lion's mouth because you said so. In my place, you'd be suspicious too."
"The odds of me betraying you are as high as the odds that you will."
"And why is that?" you hissed, furious at how easily she got on your nerves.
"Aleksander has a knack for manipulating people. A few sweet words, and even your boyfriend won't be able to count on your devotion anymore."
"Watch your mouth. I'm not her boyfriend." Kaz growled, tensing up next to you, thereby stopping your quarrel. Baghra shrugged, continuing her quiet conversation with Alina. In your mind, you were planning the old lady's slow death until someone's hand grabbed yours in a strong grip.
You turned your head towards Kaz. He stared blankly out the window, completely ignoring your gaze. Instead, he started drawing circles on your palm, trying to calm you down somehow. You turned your head in the opposite direction, smiling to yourself at the tender gesture. Unbeknownst to you, Kaz had the same smirk as yours on his face.
The rest of the trip to the city was uneventful. As planned, Alina and you stayed in Baghra's secret stash while the rest went off to play heroes. Your job was to distract the Darkling, and Alina was supposed to watch over you.
You'd agree to their plan if your role wasn't just to stand by while others risked their lives trying to get the information you all needed.
But you decided not to argue with the others about it this time. After all, they couldn't control you once you got into the palace. You might as well have snooped around, looked for what you needed, and done most of the work for them. Closing your eyes and getting ready to connect with the Darkling, you only hoped that your little disobedience would go unnoticed.
~•♤♤♤•~
You just finished searching Kirigan's study, war room, and bedroom. You were on your way to the last room - the library, when you bumped into the one person you wanted to avoid.
You were paralysed as soon as you saw him walking down the hall. You hoped he wouldn't look in your direction, but the general (alert as always) glanced at you briefly before disappearing from your view. You had the faintest hope that he would think you were a vision, but all of it vanished when you felt a hand gently wrap around your neck and pin you against the wall.
"You either have too much free time or you enjoy haunting me at random times, little moon." you didn't answer, too scared that the moment he touched you, all your power took on a life of its own, merging with his shadows, as it usually does when your skins meet for the first time after a long separation. You were defenceless. Kirigan frowned, watching you with growing interest. "Speechless? Not any irritating responses? Do you fear me, Y/N?" his taunts brought you to your senses, forcing you to calm down immediately. You couldn't wait for Alina to be rescued. You had to fight him yourself.
"That's what you want, isn't it? To have everyone and everything under control, too scared to say or do anything against you."
"Fear is a powerful ally and also loyal."
"Not as loyal and lasting as love, trust, respect." you tried to break free from his grip, but all attempts to remove his hand from your neck proved futile. You were lucky that instead of tightening the grip and cutting off your air, he just wrapped his other arm around your waist, pulling you closer so that your faces were mere millimetres apart. "We could have had it, Aleksander. All of it. All you had to do was set me free and make me your equal."
"You'll come to feel it towards me someday. For now… even though I truly want to, I have no time for you, moonlight. Your friends are waiting for me. But don't get the wrong impression…" he leaned towards you, stroking your cheek tenderly as he whispered in your ear. "I will be back for you, my Y/N. Wherever you are hiding from me."
You shivered as he kissed your temple, making this terrifying promise to you. At some point, his shadows enveloped you completely and sent you back to the room where you and Alina were hiding.
And after one look at the sun summoner, you both knew what you had to do.
~•♤♤♤•~
You couldn't remember the last time you ran so fast in your entire life. It must have been back in your Ketterdam days, doing some little errands for the Dregs.
But this time, you weren't running to save your life. You ran to save Kaz Brekker's ass, who was the only one (not counting Inej, who was already hidden somewhere with Alina, waiting for you in harbour) who didn't return from his mission. As you expected, everything went to hell without you, and if you and Alina hadn't arrived, half of the crows (including Baghra) would have been captured by Aleksander's grishas. You wouldn't feel sorry for the old woman, but Alina insisted on saving her.
Jes, Wylan, Nina and Baghra searched other parts of the Little Palace, trying to burn everything in their path. You could still make it. If only Brekker hadn't gotten lost in the meantime. You knew you should go with him. You've always been a team player, and pairing you with Alina for this mission and leaving you behind was their worst idea.
You promised yourself that the next time you'd strap that risky idiot to your hip.
That's why you breathed a sigh of relief when you saw him at the end of the corridor. But instead of running up to him and yelling at him for his thoughtlessness, you hid in the shadows as he backed away slowly. Someone had to catch him. You caught his eye for a moment, glad he noticed you and started to head your way. Thanks to this, you could assassinate his attacker and try to escape from the palace.
Piece of cake. If he wasn't talking to a fucking Darkling.
"I know you kidnapped my moon summoner. Now you're going to tell me where you stashed her." you cursed internally, feeling yourself start to panic. You guys were officially screwed.
"We didn't take her. She fled on her own." you marvelled at how Kaz could still keep his composure with an angry Darkling a few feet in front of him. Sometimes you forget how mentally strong he was.
"I don't doubt in it… where is she? I won't ask you again."
"I don't know. I don't own her… but it's pretty clear she wasn't interested in being a captive anymore."
Aleksander got even angrier at the little insinuation that Kaz took better care of you, that he didn't treat you like an asset, unlike the general. You cursed Dirtyhands for wanting to mock and taunt the Darkling, even though you could see that he wasn't so confident around him.
"I heard about you. And your crows. It would be a shame if something happened to such a talented group." the Darkling summoned some of his shadows, causing Kaz to back away and reach for the light grenade that you and Wylan had prepared. "It's good for you that you have the decency to show signs of fear."
"I'm afraid of what I must."
"And yet you are not so defenceless." Kaz raised an inquiring eyebrow. "Don't make a fool of yourself, Mr. Brekker. I can feel my moon's power everywhere. Especially when it's imbedded so much into one small object."
You tensed, remembering that you had given Kaz the necklace before he left for the Little Palace. A necklace whose pendant you poured so much moonlight into that no shadows could surround him while wearing it or only holding it.
Defence against the Darkling. Specially prepared for situations like this. However, handing it to him, you hoped the two would never meet, growling at each other like two rabid dogs.
"Y/N must have strong feelings for you to give you some of her power. And you for her. Putting your people and yourself at risk, your profit, your club. In the name of what, Mr. Brekker?"
"If you did thorough research on me, you'd know that all of Ketterdam knows I don't need a reason to do things."
"You'll never fully appreciate what she really is. But that's alright. Because I do." Aleksander let Dirtyhands' insult pass over his ears, trying to annoy him that much, so he let his guard down. You knew very well that method, just like you knew that Kaz wasn't foolish to fall for it.
"You've right. I'll never use her as a weapon or treat her like a saint. That's not what she wants. You may understand her powers, but you have no idea who she really is. What's in her mind. What are her dreams and desires. All you care about is her power, which I don't give a damn if she has or not. You see her only as a moon summoner. Not Y/N. You don't know the woman she was before Grisha's thing. You will never know how amazing and indescribable she was before Ravka. This is part of her that only I was allowed to see. You can't change the fact that I know her better than you."
"You're forgetting one important fact. You are a child, and she is Grisha. Y/N may take years to forgive me… but I can wait. Take away my shadows, and I still have something you don't. Time. Meanwhile, you will grow old. Your hair will grey, but she will remain ageless. Like me. Not mention your little inconvenience. Do you think you'll be able to touch her for more than a few minutes before your body grows old? That you'll be able to give her the life she deserves? We both know that one day, maybe a year from now, maybe fifty, she will realise that she has only one equal. There are no others like us, and there never will be. Even you can't change that, Mr. Brekker." he gave him a hostile look, laughing mockingly as he noticed that Kaz continued to back up with each step the Darkling took towards him until he did not stand in front of your hiding place. "Don't worry. I'm not going to kill you. Time will do it for me." he summoned more of his shadows, wanting to scare him with his power. You three knew very well that with your necklace around his neck, no cut would kill him."You should have stayed in Ketterdam, Mr. Brekker."
At this point, you both decided to step in. Kaz threw his grenade, and you summoned your power, blinding the two of them. You grabbed Kaz's arm, and you both ran (as fast as his leg would allow). You stopped only a few corridors and stairs further, at the crossroads where you were all supposed to meet. Along the way, you avoided several fires that the tidemakers were busy with.
"What are you doing here?!" he growled furiously at you as you finally stopped, only making you more angry at his recklessness and attitude. He attacked and insulted the most powerful grisha. An 18-year-old with a cane and no powers.
"What am I doing here?! You tell me, what are you doing! You made him mad for no reason! You think now that he knows your identities, he'll let you go so easily? He will hunt you as long as he lives, just like me and Alina! Congratulations, Brekker!"
"I knew the risk." he replied angrily, looking around all four corridors.
"No, you didn't. You'd know a flimsy toy like that one, fucking grenade wouldn't be enough for him with all the amplifiers he's got."
"Well, I guess your little gift was strong enough to protect me. Which brings me to the question… why am I the only one blessed with this power from you?" he asked as he walked over to you, standing a few inches in front of you. You were both panting with quick anger, rage, and adrenaline, which was slowly draining from your systems.
"It's not your business, Brekker." you growled into his face and took a step, trying to avoid him, but his firm grip on your elbow stopped you.
You turned to face him, ready to yank your arm out of his grip and scream at him to fuck off, but all thoughts flew out of your head as soon as you looked into his mesmerising eyes, which were looking at you with concern and… love.
"It is my business." he leaned closer to you, just enough for you to feel his warmth and his scent, and far enough away not to touch you any more than he already did. "You... you're my most important business. And if something happens to you, if he catches you again..." he sighed, shaking his head, trying to find the right words as he licked his annoyed lips, unconsciously drawing your gaze to them and making you hold your breath for a moment, wanting something as forbidden and holy as kissing them. "I don't know how to... express my feelings. I don't know if I even understand them well enough. All I know is that I would rather die than see you enslaved and sorrowful... and it pains me to know that I'm too weak to protect you. That I'll always be too weak FOR YOU."
"You are literally everything but weak. In my eyes, you're the strongest person I know, Kaz. One of the very few to whom I would entrust my life in the blink of an eye."
"And yet I'm not enough for Grisha's love."
"How could you not be enough for something you already have?" Kaz's head snapped up as he watched you, befuddled in complete silence. You hesitantly reached for his hand, giving him enough time to pull away. He did not do. "And because I love you, I cannot be selfish with you. I cannot risk your life just because I have loved you since we were stupid teenagers." he squeezed your hand, too overwhelmed by his emotions to say anything. Fortunately, you understood him without any words.
Slowly, as if time had slowed down just for you two, he leaned towards you, resting his forehead against yours. You stood like that for a moment, enjoying the other's presence, forgetting that the palace was burning around you and probably 100 Grishas were chasing you.
"I will have you, Kaz Brekker. But only when it's safe for both of us." you promised him, whispering with your eyes still closed. "And for that to happen, I have to stay here. I have to make sure he doesn't go after you, that he will be distracted by me instead of planning your death.." you were about to extricate yourself from his grip, but the man only pulled you closer to him, not wanting to let you go.
"Please, don't. Stay with me. You're not a saint or a hero. You said it yourself. More than I could count."
"Kaz…" you took the ring off and put it on his little finger. "Keep it for me until I'm back. As a promise that whatever is going to happen next… I will be back for you." testing your luck, you placed a quick, tender kiss on his finger, feeling him tremble under your lips.
Before you got a chance to change your mind, you ran in the opposite direction, following the voice of the fighting Grishas.
You didn't turn around. You didn't steal a second glance at him, even though you knew he was watching you until you were out of sight. You knew the moment you looked into his eyes again, you'd change your mind.
You had to be strong.
For both of you. For your common future.
~•♤♤♤•~
When you regained consciousness, you weren't surprised that your hands had been handcuffed, so you couldn't use your powers. You were surprised to be greeted by the familiar sheets of Aleksander's comfortable bed.
And the Darkling himself was lying right next to you with his face towards you.
His eyes were closed, giving you a good look at the darker shadows under his eyes than before. Without knowing why, they disturbed you more than those lazily hovering around the bed. For a moment, you listened to his measured, calm breathing, which would probably confuse anyone else and give the illusory belief that the man next to you is sleeping. But you knew him much better than to fall for such a simple trick.
"I know how you breathe when you're sleeping, Aleksander."
"Maybe I was trying to fall asleep."
"Wearing a kefta? Doubtful." he opened one eye, staring at you silently. You felt your heart start beating faster from the nerves. You had no idea why you were here. Or at least you didn't want to admit it to yourself, so you decided to play the fool. "Are the dungeons undergoing some kind of refurbishment, or are they so full that you haven't found another place for me?"
He stared at you silently, deep in thought. He took his time to answer, playing with the strands of your hair that had escaped your bun from an earlier fight.
"It didn't seem like the right place for you" he finally whispered, making you even more suspicious.
"And where is my right place? After I stabbed you in the back so many times? In your bed? In your arms? As a weapon for your use? Where do you see me, Aleksander?"
"By my side. I've always seen you by my side." he answered at once, without a trace of hesitation in his voice. His shadow circled the room, caressing you from time to time. You didn't know if he was planning to let your guard down or if he had completely lost his mind.
"I don't understand. You should be mad at me. Why don't you hate me? Why are you still looking at me like... like you really have feelings for me? This is another one of your games, right? You want me to go completely crazy this time, don't you?"
"No, my little saint moon." he whispered, undaunted by your anger, gently cupping your chin so you had to look him in the eye. "All I ever wanted was someone equal to me. Why should I get mad at you when all you're doing is trying to find your way to me?"
"I don't…"
"Then why did you let them catch you? Don't try to lie to me, Y/N. I was there. I saw with my own eyes how you backed away from running away at the last moment. Why?"
"You know why." you whispered in a shaky voice. You closed your eyes, trying to protect yourself from the Black Heretic's penetrating gaze and show him the tears beginning to form in your eyes. "I have a million reasons why I should give you up, why I should hate you more than anyone else, but the truth is… my heart wants what it wants. And I don't think I can resist this anymore." you couldn't control your tears, but from the tender touch of his hand as he wiped them from your cheek and the clank of the handcuffs opening, you figured they were necessary for him to believe you.
"You have no idea how long…"
"No." you cut him off before he could say anything more." I have one question for you. Answer it right, and I'll forget about the last few months. Answer it right, and I promise you that you will never have to be alone again, that I'll always be by your side, along with your shadows and everything else that you truly are. That I will accept my destiny as being your moon. I won't let anyone scare me away from you ever again. I just… I need you to be completely honest with me. This one time." you cursed yourself at how weak your voice sounded when he grabbed your hand, kissing tenderly the places where the handcuffs were marked. "You don't have to tell me your whole plan; I just want to know… are all of these lies, battles, wars, deaths… just to keep the Grishas safe? You have no other intention behind this than to give our people home, where they don't have to be afraid of people who hate us and our powers?"
"I swear to you, my little moonstone, there is no other reason. I'm not a maniac drunk on power, as everybody tells you. I just want our people to be safe; I want to give them a world where we can explore the abilities of our power without fear of getting killed for being extraordinary. I can only do this with you by my side. As my equal. As a person who thinks like me and can keep up with my plans. As my partner. As the only one I can trust."
"Good." you nodded, cupping his cheek as you pulled him closer to you, so your lips caught each other again.
And maybe it was naive to think he bought your story about being completely devoted to him; maybe it was just another one of his games; maybe this time he really believed your words. Or maybe he was tired of pretending you didn't feel that strange attraction every time you were together.
You did not know. And you didn't want to know.
You gave into that burning desire every time you were near him, explaining to yourself that you had to earn his trust.
But there was much more to this one kiss than just lust.
It was a promise to you.
You will break his heart and make him hate you. You will drive him mad, drive him away, and then he will cast you out. Aleksander will come to think of you not as his lover but as his greatest enemy. Alina, Baghra and you gonna end the circle of unnecessary deaths.
And then you will finally be free...
Or at least... you will kill you both while trying to hate him as you should from the beginning.
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tedearaminta · 14 days
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A little something for White Day 🤍
inspired by Paolo i Virginia by Alessandro Puttinati
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caprese-cathedral · 10 days
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assorted drawings i did a while ago of alina and peppino
(aaaaa ive never posted stuff like this before and am being soo shy about it even though its totally fine)
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raparopa · 1 year
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Omgg could you write about nikolai lanstov and how he has known reader his whole life and they are together but not oficially and then alina comes and yk what happens and reader thought that they could handle it because it's a political marriage but then they end things and then nikolai one night can't take it anymore and so he goes to her room and begs her, quite literally on his knees to get back together, and maybe end it with some smut or fluff however you feel like doing but I just need him begging 😭
a/n: Crap! I really liked the idea of your request, so I thought about it and decided to make some changes. First, I thought about it and decided that I would most likely make a mini-series (big story) of several parts. Secondly, I realized that it is easier for me to fulfill your request with an !Original Character! not marked "reader" or "Y/N" And thirdly, of course, I had to change some details of the canon in order to somehow structurally introduce the hero into the story. Hope you enjoy what I do! let me know if you like it?(!)
warnings: Language, Squaller!OC (idk)
pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x OC!Dasha Romanov
summary: There is clearly an understatement between Nikolai and his childhood friend. But who knew that things could get even worse when the sun shines on the horizon?
gold and silver
prologue.
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I knew Nikolai, without exaggeration, all my conscious life. We met when we were just children, when I was brought to serve in the palace (sensible squaller are needed everywhere, especially when the queen wants the sun on a cloudy day). He was the most restless boy I have ever seen in my whole life: he caused trouble for his whole family, nannies and tutors, but he was a fun guy, with an adventurous spirit and a good heart. Therefore, the fact that we found a common language did not take long. We would run away from classes together, I would show him tricks with the wind and clouds, and he would teach me how to shoot and even show me a couple of tricks so that I could protect myself with more than just my abilities.
And then the service began. His and mine. Nikolai and Dominic signed up for the First Army, while I was accepted into the Second Army, where my hard and fun life began. At first, Nikolai and I kept in touch, tried to keep in touch, but time passed, everything changed, we grew up and over the course of our destinies we changed a lot. Our communication slowly faded away. Of course, I heard rumors about what happened to the prince, and I'm sure he also heard rumors about me. I have long lost the habit of having Lantsov around, but still my heart ached every time I heard the news about him.
But in one moment everything changed. More time passed when Nikolai himself found me. True, now he was no longer Nikolai, but asked everyone to call himself Sturmhond. He was a privateer, with his own ship and crew, and kindly invited me to join the crew of the "Hummingbird".
How long did I think? Yes. It would be strange to immediately agree to such an adventurous proposal from someone whom I had not seen for several years. But Saints!
No matter how many years, centuries, centuries have passed; no matter what happens to me, I will always continue to adore Nikolai.
He still managed to convince me to join his crew. And I climbed the "Hummingbird", starting a new page in my life, but again next to Nikolai.
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acacia-may · 1 day
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Can I ask what are your favourite Black Clover OC x CC ships from your mutuals? Ignore this ask if it's too much romance for you 😅
Hi there, Anon-friend! Thank you for the ask! There are a lot of really nice and well thought out OC x CC pairings in the Black Clover fandom, and I certainly have a lot of respect for everyone who takes the time, passion, and inspiration to make these OCs and their ships. Even though I'm not usually that into shipping (despite what the past few days of ship specific content on this blog might seem to imply), I have definitely enjoyed many Black Clover OC x CC pairings in the fandom, but from my Tumblr mutuals specifically, I think I've actually talked about most of my favorites as part of this ask game already. 😊
The only one of my all-time favorites that come to mind that's missing is @delicious-donna/@delirious-donna's Alina x Magna from Chasing the Sparks (AO3 Link) which is another that's probably just permanently part of my personal canon now. I personally find it very compelling because I think they're very well suited for each other. Alina is kind of this gentle and steady constant in the chaos of Magna’s life and Magna’s enthusiasm and loyalty really encourages her to build confidence and believe in herself and her abilities. They really bring out the best in each other, and it's very, very sweet. I also just adore Alina as a character (and not just because she's Finral and Langris's cousin though that is just a major bonus and I loved getting to write about their platonic cousin relationship in the story Donna requested, "Melting Snowman," and in a really fun collaboration project that unfortunately never got finished). But yes, they are wonderful and definitely an all-time favorite of mine. 💖
In terms of my other personal favorites from my Tumblr moots that I've already talked about, I'll just list them and link to the posts where I rambled about them already:
@loosesodamarble's Nacht x Josele (discussed here)
@lyranova's William x Zera (discussed here)
@thoughtfullyrainynightmare's Fuegoleon x Solara (discussed here)
@kalolasfantasyworld's Nozel x Helena (and I also really enjoy Gabriel x Vanessa, both of which are discussed in this post)
And a shout out to a new (and unexpected) favorite, @vilandel's Solid x Rosette which I just discovered during this ask game but definitely really enjoyed and rambled about here.
All of that said, shipping is very subjective and really based on very personal feelings, opinions, and preferences, as well as headcanons and perceptions of the characters. These are just the pairings that are my cup of tea and personally really compelling to me. I also only included pairings from my Tumblr moots. There are ships from friends from other places and a few from some relative strangers that I've seen floating around that I enjoy, but these are definitely my favorites from my Tumblr friends and pairings that I really think of as part of my personal canon for Black Clover and the characters' futures. Thanks for asking! 💕
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omgkatherine01 · 8 months
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Creatures of the Night: Chapter 8 - Not Leaving Without Her
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Series Masterlist
Chapter 7, Chapter 9
Pairing: Kaz Brekker x female reader
Please comment, like and share ❤
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Oh my God, what did I get myself into? you kept thinking over and over again, sitting inside Kaz's office, staring blankly at the papers on the desk.
No matter what or how hard you tried, you couldn't get ride of Alexei's dead body out of your mind.
"You've been quiet."
You blinked when Kaz's voice made you snap from your thoughts. You glanced at him as he walked around the desk. He picked his pocket watch to see the time and he glanced at you.
"I will take it that this was the first time you saw someone die in front of your very eyes."
You didn't say anything and turned back to look at the papers on the desk.
He didn't deserve it, you thought.
"I'm sure it won't be the last time," he said, and you tensed up. The door opened and you glanced over to see Inej walking into the living room. She walked into the office room and looked from you to Kaz, giving him a look, "What was that?"
"Be more specific," he told her without looking up from the papers.
"It was one thing when we had a week to find a way across the Fold. But sunrise? We have to say no."
"No."
"So 'no' to the job?" Inej asked.
Kaz glanced at her, "That's a 'no' to saying 'no'."
"We can't go!" she shouted.
Kaz glared at her, "Can't we?" he snapped and you frowned as you looked between them.
Then, Inej pulled up her sleeve to show the tattoo on her wrist, "I can't go."
"What's the meaning of this tattoo?" you suddenly asked.
Inej lowered her gaze to look at you, her expression turned softer than it was when she spoke to Kaz. She swallowed before speaking softly, "Before I met Kaz, I was at the Menagerie... all the girls there have a tattoo like this."
Your gaze soften and she continued, "I can't leave without Heleen's permission."
"But, you're here. Not there," you said softly.
"Kaz didn't got me out yet. I still belong to her."
You frowned at that and you looked at Kaz. "She is coming, right?" you asked.
He glanced at you and then away, "I have a plan."
"What is it?" you asked after a moment of silent. Kaz clenched his jaw and looked between you and Inej.
"We both know by now when you're still figuring things out," Inej said, "You don't know how to pull off this job."
"I still have six hours, and right now, neither of you are helping," he said.
You could feel the rage in Inej when she spoke, "Maybe you crack a way across, but that doesn't solve this problem, does it?!" She thrust her wrist forth, forcing Kaz to stare at the branding on her skin.
"If I can't crack this, no one's going."
"And if you do?" Inej asked.
"Then maybe you stay here!"
You stared at Kaz in surprise and shock after he spoke those words. Inej looked at him for a long moment before speaking, "Maybe I won't be here when you get back."
"Inej," you said softly as she walked out. You stood up and walked after her but she was gone.
You quickly turned to Kaz, "What the hell is wrong with you?" you asked.
"I have no time to this," he snapped.
"Well, make time!" you snapped back, "Alright? This is Inej! You can't just take me and Jesper with you, and leave her behind."
"Y/n--"
"I won't go without her," you cut in, and he stared at you with his jaw clenching. "If she stays, so am I."
"Really?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow as a challenge, "You will give up on a chance to find out more about yourself across the Fold? Your powers? Your family? Money? All for Inej?"
Your expression darkened and now you glared at him. "Yes," you said.
He opened his mouth but you cut in, "If you want to go so badly, take Jesper and go. Because I won't leave Inej alone here." You thought back when you first came here, all alone and scared out of your mind, Inej was the one who helped you.
"I'm not turning my back on her."
She backed you up without really knowing you.
And now that the two of you got to know each other, things were different.
To you, Inej was family.
You glared at Kaz, "I'm not turning my back on her," you said the same words she said to Kaz about you.
He opened his mouth but you turned around and walked out the office. "Y/n," he called after you but you didn't stop and walked out through the opened window.
You climbed up on the roof and saw Inej sitting there. You let out a relief sigh and walked closer carefully. "I was afraid you have disappeared," you said as you sat beside her.
She didn't say anything for a long moment and stared off into the distance before speaking softly, "Did you mean it?"
"What?" you asked.
"About not going if I won't," she said softly and looked at you.
You gave her a small smile and nodded, "Yeah. If you're staying here, I will too."
"Why would you do that?" she asked.
"Because, you're family," you admitted, giving a small shrug and she stared at you in complete surprise. "At least to me."
Her eyes were glassy but she blinked quickly. She nodded lightly and slowly. "You too," she said softly.
You smiled softly as she took your hand.
--
Time went by as you and Inej continued to sit on top of the roof, enjoying each other's company.
"Do you have memories of your real family?" you asked softly.
Inej thought for a moment and suddenly a small smile slip on her lips. "A little. My parents. My little brother. The happy times..." She looked at you. "You? Do you have any memories?"
You frowned and shook your head. "No. Nothing," you said quietly and her smile disappeared. "All my memories are from the orphanage... and none of them really were happy memories. I remember the fear more than anything. The fear of..."
Your voice trailed off and you looked up at the dark sky, not finishing. "Fear of what?" she asked quietly.
Been in that damn closet, you thought bitterly. You felt Inej giving your hand a soft squeeze and you took a deep breath. You let it out softly before you spoke up, "Since I was little, the sisters would locked me up in the small closet in the basement... I've develop claustrophobia to small spaces..." You looked at her. "Only you and Kaz know about this. I don't like talking about it."
Inej nodded understandably, "I understand. When we were led to Dreesen's basement... that was why you froze, isn't it?"
"I didn't mean to, it just... happened," you admitted. "Seen it the door open and leading to a basement... just instantly made me remember the basement at the orphanage..."
"You're not there anymore," Inej said softly and gave your hand another squeeze. "You're safe now. None of them can hurt you anymore."
You gave her a small sad smile, she was right, they can't hurt me anymore... but the damage was already been done.
-
Taglist:
@lyria-skyfall, @myheartfollower, @cleverzonkwombatsludge, @mjlock, @clairewinchester14, @losteroops, @venomsvl, @yvxcy, @wickedlovely121, @supergaybish101, @woowwwee, @zeeader, @twlegit, @phoenix666stuff, @mortalmorgan, @wonderland2425, @dark-night-sky-99, @gabby10100, @lomlrhea, @juskonutoh
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luxuriouscharms · 10 months
Text
I can’t help but love you (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader)
Pairing: The Darkling x Special Grisha!reader
Universe: The Grishaverse/Shadow and bone
Summary: He realises he’s in love with you and so do you.
Key note: Please play the listed songs for better experience. Also the striked words are the songs to be played, if followed, a better experience is assured.
Songs:  1. Cinnamon Girl (Lana Del Rey) 2. Cherry (Lana Del Rey) 3. War of Hearts [Acoustic] (Ruelle)
—————————————————————————————
cinnamon girl
The room was filled with people, laughing, talking and enjoying themselves. She moved a dirty blonde strip of her hair from her face and looked around. This was all familiar in a new way. A  way she has never been in. Maybe the punishment to her sins aren’t that bad if this is it. She took a glass of wine and sipped it slowly taking in the details of the room. The music changed into a slow one and she noticed people getting into couples, women having one of their hands on the shoulders of men and the other in their upper arm.  
“Excuse-me, ma’am” she heard a masculine voice next to her. She turned to look at a man, atleast 4 inches taller than her, his brown hair slicked back neatly smiling at her.
“May I help you,” she responded back in the best “elegant” voice she could. This new cover has been quite the task for her, as being an elegant woman was the exact opposite she was told to do her whole life.
“It would quite please me if I could have this dance with you,” he told her, raising his hand, asking for her permission.
“Oh, that’s sweet of you, but i’ve never danced before,” she said him her truth as her lips went into a thin line.
“Well, that will have to change tonight,” he smiled and took her hand in his and placed her other one in her shoulder as he slowly led her to the dance floor.
“Oh well, as long as you dont charge me for the damage i cause in your legs,” she shrugged as she gave a playful smile and let him lead her.
Now, who would not love such a punishment. It was true that she had never danced before, she never had the chance. She doubts most Grisha gets the chance to, afterall they grow up being taught to protect and fight. She smiled at where she was now but soon it had to be ruined as people heard screams outside the room. The music muffled the noise but it was still audible to hear them.
She froze as she looked at outside of the building. It was getting darker and darker every second and it could only mean one thing.
He was back.
Soon, the room darkened and a figure came through the shadows. Everyone knew who it was, it was The Darkling. The same man who destructed many families of people in the very same room. Of hers too.
cherry
She looked at his arising form with mixed emotions in her eyes. He came out of the dark and searched around the room when his eyes finally met hers. His grey orbs then skimmed to her hands that were on top of the man next to her. Her quick instinct was to take them off him making the man responsible for her reactions smirk. He looked around once more and swiftly moved his hands, she realised what he was doing and screamed, “No.” as her eyes widened.
In a swift move, her hands moved in a V shape and a shield arise from her hands shielding the whole room from his dark presence. He was moved back in a gush of air due to the excess use of power as his hands shielded his face.  He looked back at her and said,
“This is the only way to do it, remove the shield and we shall disappear.” His statement rang through her ears as she fumed at him. He had the audacity to do this just after killing millions and making her having to disguise herself for his consequences.
“I can erase their memory of our presence.” She stated as she looked into his eyes. His eyes searched hers in amusement and soon his lips broke into a playful yet proud smile as he questioned,
“You can do that now, huh? Well the make it fast, we’ve got places to be and things to discuss.”
She looked at him one last time before moving her hands, as green light broke out of her palms, her eyes emitting a bright shade of green. Soon, everyone in the room fell down into a slumber except for herself and the dark presence across her. He took a look around him as he strolled closer to her,
“What did you do,” he asked looking into her eyes as he came closer than he should but it wasn’t new for her.
“A litte trick that i learned a few weeks ago,” she told him looking back at his eyes. He look at her and sighed.
He took a strand of her hair falling on her face and said,
“That’s not what i asked. What did u do to your hair.”
Realisation swimmed in her eyes and she caught his arm and snatched it away from her face, from her now blonde hair.
“A consequence of your actions.” She stated glaring at his eyes. His eyes moved as he looked at hers and he stepped back,
“You look absolutely gorgeous, but put my colour back on” He whispered before starting to move towards “the places they have to be”.
She looked at his walking figure and remembered the pitch black hair she once had. Something about it always made him feel superior, one of the reasons she loved having to colour her hair to disguise herself. Especially when she could simply do it and blame it on him.
She slowly strolled behind him forgetting the life she had just a few minutes earlier. What else could be done for he is here now.
As soon as she skipped to his pace, his hands moved in a swift motion as darkness engulfed them both. They both were now in a place that looked like a hut but with better interior. She looked out the window and say darkness and shadows of creatures walking around, screeching and flying.  She realised where they were and her voice was caught in her throat. If her little trick was amazing this was terrific, both in a huge and a bad way.
“Who was it.” She turned to him, her eyes confused as she watched him remove his coat.
“Who’s who.” She questioned back at him as her brows formed into a frown. He looked up at her and murmured slowly, “The guy you were with.” Her gaze turned more confused at his sudden interest.
“A gentleman who was willing to teach me how to slow dance,” she said.
“Did you enjoy it?” He asked, his lips curling into a teasing smile.
“Not long enough for me to actually learn it, because you just had to interrupt,” she said coldly to him.
He chuckled at her as his head went low and back again to looking at her.
“Well why don’t you spend some more time with him for a while,” he asked at her smiling.
She frowned more in confusion as he continued,
“Surely, you can still get into you fantasy lands right.” he said.
She looked down for a moment and realised he was referring to her ability to reimagine realities. She can imagine herself in clouds while simply sitting in her bed. She slowly looked up at him and saw his hand raised towards her. She hesitated for a minute but her heart did not as her hand reached on top of his palm. Within the blink of her eye, they were outside among the monsters he created out of shadows. He noticed at her wary look and said,
“They will be of no disturbance,” She turned to look at him and asked, “what about the musics.”
He smiled, as his other hand removed the wooden stick that had her hair in a neat bun, making her hair flow down, like she usually had her hair when it was black and placed his hand on her hips bringing her closer as he whispered,
“Why don’t you bring the very same one you were listening to,” His eyes moved in a quick movement looking into hers, wanting to take in both her emerald ones.
war of hearts (acoustic)
She closed her eyes as he lowered his head, making both their foreheads to meet. Soon, slow piano flowed  into their ears and his legs started to lead both their legs.
“Come to me in the night hours
I will wait for you”
Never once did his eyes leave hers even when they were closed. She slowly opened her eyes and tried to put herself into the fantasy land where the very same man she owns a deep hatred in her heart would be that man that managed to steal her eyes even if it’s only for seconds.
“Thoughts of you consume”
But it was not happening. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him no matter how much she tried.  She couldn’t go back to that ball, to that man. They both remained dancing, even though surrounded by darkness and monsters they were still captivated into each other’s souls, their eyes being the doorway…
“I can’t help but love you,
even though I try not to”
Her eyes skimmed through the scars in his face, an aftermath. He was in pain, she could see it. His head was crippling in pain, a pain as a consequence of consumption of power beyond one should hold. A pain that can only be cured by more absorption of the very same darkness he holds.
“Stay with me, a little longer”
She was scared of what she was doing while he was fooled that she was being in fantasies of another man while dancing with him. The eyes of her held empathy, he convinced himself it was not for him and that she wasn’t looking at him. But something in his heart craved for the look in her eyes, the eyes that held so much light in them, ironic to what he was.
“Oh, oh, oh”
As every second passed, his pain suppressed through the music. For a second he thought it was the music healing it but when he looked at her glowing eyes, he realised it was her doing. Unconsciously, she was holding his pain back which made him realise she wasn’t in her fantasies and was very much present in the moment with him. “What did you do.” He asked her, as his pain was nothing but a memory now.
“A consequence of my mistake,” she stated.
“I can’t help but love you, even though I try not to”
His walls broke, as his eyes opened the doorway and gave a peek of his soul to her. The shattered one, terribly shattered than his face. He realised that he had let his guard down and regained his composure, stopping his legs from moving to the music. Their eyes, never leaving each others was now holding an intense look. A stubborn one, an interaction they would have never imagined with each other.
Just for once, he craved her. He craved her eyes to look at him the same way, their intertwined hands to be stitched together. He craved for him to be able to touch more of her and for the first time he was greedy for something that wasn’t power and it made him fear for what shall come next. For what she was made of.
“I can’t help but want oceans to part
Because i’m overcome this war of hearts”
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simpingcorner · 1 year
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Daughter of the Shadows
Word Count: ~1.3k Warnings: mild violence (stabbing, mentions of gunshots, physical fighting), blood, alcohol, gambling,mention of human tr*****, Pekka Rollins,not proofread, let me know if I forgot something. 
Author's Note: First chapter to my Grishaverse fanfic. A reminder this is insipred by my SoC DR so it’ll follow both the books and the show plotlines, there will be changes to the canon characters and their storylines, it’s also a Kaz Brekker x OC. | English isn’t my first language so please bear with me and tell me if there’s something wrong. I hope you like it.
all rights to leigh bardugo, i only owny liith and her backstory (other ocs will be introduced later)
Read part 2 here - Ch.3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6
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CHAPTER 1
LILITH
The starless night sky, the waves breaking on the rocks, the muffled sounds coming from the city, the briny autumn air surrounded her, it happened before she could even think of enjoying the moment a voice broke the night silence, the girl jumped to her feet, knives drawn, eyes locked on the darkness in front of her as her legs moved independently, silent movements, invisible to the inexperienced eyes allowed her to move closer to the noise source, as she’d expected a crowd had formed on the pier of the fourth harbour. Their guns reflected the dim street lamps’ light, red rubies shone under the moonlight, “This wasn’t the deal.” said a merchant’s voice, “The deal was you’d bring me fresh meat and I’d set you free.” Pekka Rollins’ hoarse voice echoed in her ears, she watched and studied the scene in front of her, hidden by the shadows, disgusted at the ideas of even more lives ruined by Pekka Rollins.
The smell of blood came before she could even realize what was going on, the pier’s shadows hid her making her even more dangerous than in the daylight, her knives handles now an extension to her hands, her leather gloves blood stained, her legs silents and fast followed a now too familiar pattern, the men surrounded her, guns at her head ready to fire, the girl’s eyes studied the scene as in a book, reviewing every possible outcome, she was surrounded, the men much bigger than her, she gripped the handles of her knives, the material seemed to heat up under the pressure, the lights of the street lamps trembled ready to go out at any given moment, the salty air now corrupted by the smell of blood and gunpowder. “I don’t want to kill you Mrak.” Said the merchant stopping in front of the brunette, a grin forming on his face studying her. “I wish I could say the same.” The girl replied wiping blood from her cheek with the back of her hand, her eyes full of anger, hatred, revenge, but her face was impassive, the scar on her righ cheek illuminated by the lamp post, her lips and jaw tight, her feet and hands ready to attack or defend, the faded tattoo of Emerald Palace was still too visible on her left forearm. “I thought you’d be happy to hear another slaver dead.” The man continued staring at her, “Wasn’t it one of them who brought you here? Who ruined your life?” the brunette knew if she’d attacked the rest of the Dime Lions would open fire to save their leader, “My life was over before I even got to Ketterdam.” she said closing her fists and inhaling before attacking, their moves were draw in her brain like the project of a house on paper, predictable and obvious, during each fight the Dime Lions’d forgot they had guns in their hands, finding themselves fighting hand to hand with their rivals.
The girl’s eyes became watery, a sudden burning sensation invaded her right forearm, the gray sleeve darkened, soaked in blood, but before she could assimilate what happened, the dagger disappeared from her hand finding a new home in the skull of one of the men surrounding her, some had fled, others were on the ground gasping for air or passed out. Her eyes found Pekka Rollins’, her face covered in blood, her left hand gripping her right arm, “Next time I won’t let you free.” said the man turning on his heels and disappearing into the shadows of the pier, the girl inhaled trying not to think about the pain in her arm, the burning had given way to cold and numbness, the brunette put her knives back in their places before walking back towards the Barrel.
Ketterdam was the place to go if you wanted to disappear, a city run by criminals, thieves, crooks, murderers; a city where authorities were nearly as corrupted, if not more, than the citizens; tourists from all over the world came to live without rules, to enjoy the freedom of a city without laws, to distract themselves from the problems of their daily lives, with their money, clean clothes, hot food on the table, a roof over their heads, a warm comfortable bed to sleep in after a tiring day, hot water always at the ready for a relaxing bath; the more fortunate citizens, the merchants, the Council members, the owners of the most famous clubs in the city lived in safe, warm, private houses; all the others, on the contrary, lived from day to day, hoping and praying to the Saints that they’d have enough to be able to afford a common room, a hot meal, or to be able to repay their debts.
The smell of the Barrel invaded her nostrils as she went from roof to roof trying not to be seen, the window to his office was open, a sign that he was waiting for Inej, the girl knew she shoulnd’t have gone in but with her arm injured she wouldn’t be able to open her bedroom window, and entering the front door was out the question. She climbed over to the window and nimbly entered the room, the inexperienced ear would never notice the air shift caused by the girl, but Kaz Brekker wasn’t inexperienced, not when it came to his investments. “I will not do business with a criminal.” The unknown voice filled the room, forcing her to hide in the shadows, her steps were silent, her breath inaudible, “You will find no honest man in Ketterdam.” Kaz replied before dismissing the man and closing the door behind him, “You can come out.” he simply said going back to studying the papers on the desk, the girl headed to the door, her arm hidden behind her back, her face covered in blood, her steps trembling but still too silent and proud, she barely got to reach the doorknob that his cane stopped her, the girl’s eyes fixed on the door, her hand firm on the doorknob, “What do you have for me?” the boy said as he sat down at his desk, the cane resting on his knee in of him staring at her, the crow’s eyes on the handle seemed to study her. “Pekka Rollins has bought other kids.” The boy’s face was stern, unreadable, fixed on the brunette in front of him, “He killed the slaver at Fourth Harbour.” the girl explained. “Okay.” His voice was hollow, the voice of someone who had decided to turn off their emotions, the same voice used by the girl.
The cut on her forearm was less serious than she had imagined, the help of a healer would have fastened the recovery but she didn’t have the money nor the time to find one, she tightened the bandage on the wound and left her room heading towards the bar counter, “Lilith, came to bring me luck?” Jesper’s cheery voice woke her up from the trance she was in, the Zemeni boy motioned for her to sit next to him at the poker table.
The Crow Club was full of tourists and non, whoever was in the Barrel and wanted to tempt fate was there, the girl noticed Rotty and Specht busy gambling away the last few coins they had left, Big Bolliger greeted her from the door before kicking out yet another cheater, Anika stared at her from the counter, while Jesper looked at her with a smile, letting her slip in next to him. “SO how much did you lose?” The girl asked as she sat down and studied the table, “Your lack of confidence hurts me Lilith.” said Jesper betting the rest of his Kruge on the upcoming hand, “Just saying if you don’t pay your debts, Per Haskell won’t kick out only you, and I really like my room.” explained the girl pulling out her daggers and cleaning them, she could feel his gaze on her, he was studying her, the bandage on her harm, a bandage that wasn’t there just a few minutes before, but as soon as she looked up he was gone, the office door closed at the top of the stairs.
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countrymusiclover · 8 months
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Family is More than Blood
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Klaus and Raelyn's daughters and son head to the Salvatore school. Each of their children carries the weight of wanting to represent the family name the best they can. But when monsters come to destroy Mystic Falls that won't be as easy as they think.
1 - Never Get a Break
2 - We're More Than A School
3 - Back to Mystic High
4 - First Date and Snooping Parents
5 - Another Short Honeymoon
6 - Saltzman Family Reunion
7 - Mikaelson Kids Are Key
8 - Family Vacation
9 - Mystic Falls Tradition
10 - Mikaelson Bickering
11 - A Day Helping Witches and Werewolves
12 - Rescuing Rae
13 - Once Upon A Baby
14 - Back to New Orleans
15 - Humans and Supernaturals Together
16 - I'm the Loophole
17 - The Auburn-hair Girl
18 - Decisions and Realizations
19 - Time Away From Work…
20 - Andrea’s Theory
21 - Keeping us up at Night
22 - Memories and Tricky Games
23 - Super Squad Assemble
24 - One Step Ahead Always
25 - Kai Parker Screwed Us
26 - Blasts From The Past
27 - Some Familiar Faces
28 - Where We Started
29 - Not Klaus’s Plan
30 - Raelyn’s Trigger
31 - Not out the woods Yet
32 - Acting like Teenagers
33 - Resisting Urges
34 - We All Have Darkness
35 - The Save Raelyn Squad
36 - Finally Defeating the Hollow
37 - The Mikaelson Grandchild
38 - Switching Date Plans
39 - An Ordinary Vampire
40 - The Saltzman Merge
41 - Baby Mikaelson Twins
42 - Happy Valentine’s Day
43 - Valentine’s Day pt 2
44 - Mother for a Day
45 - No Simple Conversations
46 - Looking out for Others
47 - Vampire Friends
48 - Not The Only Broken One
49 - The Price of Landon Kirby
50 - What Being Left Out Causes
51 -
???
Comments really appreciated ❤️
- Read the first book called Gemini Runaway before this one.
Tag list - just ask to be added
@secretdreamlandmentality
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littleshadow17 · 8 months
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Thanks for voting, everyone!!
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bi-bard · 4 months
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Shadow & Bone has been one of my favorite shows to write about. It gave me interesting characters, this sense of greater creative freedom than I've ever been offered, and this beautiful way to discuss the importance of hope and love in the face of pain and despair. It has also brought many readers to work that have shown the same level of passion and care that I hold for it. I haven't been writing for this show for a very long time, yet it feels like it has always been there. Something that was always going to happen; I just had to wait for it all to click into place. I will forever be grateful for that feeling. That sense of purpose.
I have no intention of just letting this show go after two seasons. I promise.
I will continue to write about it. My OC will continue. I plan to extend that story beyond the bounds that we have been allowed to see on screen. I also have plans to start a new series exploring another facet of the show's universe that I have not been able to explore yet.
It is sad to see the show go, but that does not mean the story ends or the characters stop. We, as fans, can keep these stories going for as long as we want them to.
I'll see you all soon.
no mourners, no funerals
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kasagia · 11 months
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I'll be back for you pt. 2 (end)
Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x reader, Kaz Brekker x reader Summary: The battle is still going on. Not only the one between Alina and the Darkling but also the one inside you. Which side will you choose to be on? Who will you support? The choice is only yours. Warning(s): Darkling, angst, quarrels, fighting, bl00d, the reader is having a hard time and doesn't know what to do and who to choose, but we all love these two guys Word count: It depends, but 13k+ in total Taglist: @woowwwee @aemondsb1tch @queenofspades6 @unofficial-jaytodd-wife @kentucky-criedfricken
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"Moya soverennyia?" Fedyor's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. You turned to Heartrender, giving him a gentle smile and telling him to continue.
Over the course of this month, you've already gotten used to your new role, announced by the Darkling to his Oprichniks and Grishas.
His partner. His heart. His moon. The new Soverennyia.
So far, Aleksander has kept his promise to make you his equal. But you've been waiting patiently for the day when keeping you on an equal footing with himself will not be in line with his plans.
And you didn't know whether to be glad or disappointed that he was serious about keeping that promise.
"Y/N? Shall we go?" you looked up at the man, remembering what he had come for. Kirigan asked for you.
"Yes. Thank you, Fedyor." you nodded as you walked out with him by your side. You smiled as soon as the man started babbling about the latest gossip from the camp. You appreciated that he was trying to make your trip pleasant by at least trying to strike up a normal, casual conversation with you.
Another thing you had to get used to. If there wasn't an unsettling Darkling figure hovering by your side, it would be either Ivan or Fedyor. Kirigan insisted that their presence around you was necessary to keep you safe.
Like you weren't a powerful moon summoner.
The Darkling's "care" didn't blind you. He was afraid that you would run away again, that despite everything—all those tender words and promises whispered into his skin under the cover of the night—you were not fully devoted to him. That even though you were with him in body and mind, you left your heart with a group of your "crows".
And he was right.
But you weren't willing to give him any evidence.
"Sankta Y/N!" the guard at Aleksander's tent of council announced your arrival, interrupting all conversations between the general and his chief commanders.
"Come here, moonlight." the Darkling has summoned you without even lifting a glance from the papers. You took the only empty seat right next to him and glanced at the maps spread out in front of him. "Ivan and his men have been on the trail of the firebird for weeks and finally found something interesting… I thought you'd like to know more about your future amplifire." he whispered in your ear as the conversation around you resumed.
You nodded your head, turning your gaze to the man closest to him. You smiled as you saw Fedyor (trying to) fawn over him imperceptibly. Maybe you and Ivan didn't get along very well, and your relationship with Fedyor deteriorated after your "betrayal", but you'd have to be blind and insensitive not to notice and appreciate the bond between them. You couldn't help your stupid heart long for something they had.
"Something wrong, zyoma maya olya (moon of my life)?"
"Last week was a bit tiring, that's all. Your mother can be a pain in the ass." you mumbled, taking his hand. You unknowingly began to draw patterns on the skin of his hand with your finger, making him feel better. Something that didn't go unnoticed among the Grishas present in the tent.
It turned out you weren't the only one left behind. Aleksander caught Baghra.
From the old woman's story, it seemed as if all he cared about was keeping the two of you captive. Thanks to the saints, no other crow caught his special attention. Except Kaz...
"I'll repay you for taking care of her, milaya. In a month, no one and nothing will get on your nerves, moya tsaritsa."
"Hold on to the titles. Ravka is not at your feet yet."
"It will be. As soon as we enlarge the fold, the whole world will be at OUR feet. And then we'll make sure that no Grishas are afraid or ashamed of who they are ever again."
You wanted to believe him. Really. That he cares only for the good of people like you, but you already knew him too well to allow yourself to be that naive.
"I dream of nothing more, Aleksander." you whispered, making sure only he could hear his real name. He smiled, cupping your cheek with his hand and placing a tender kiss on your forehead.
"What will we do with the rebels, moi soverennyi?" one of his Grishas caught your attention. Your heart beat slightly faster at the mention of your friends. Another trick you had to pick up pretty quickly with so many heartrenders by your side. You silently thanked Nina every time you used her trick to calm your heartbeat. Only thanks to her, no one has yet received any clues or evidence that you can play the role of a double agent. "Or deserters? They should not have the honour of seeing Ravka get greater after years of oppression."
"The courts will judge them. We will not deal with such unimportant things; as soon as we secure our country from hostile neighbours, we will deal with internal changes. We'll make sure the Grisha are safe on their own land. There will be time for everything else later."
The courts... when Aleksander's plans come true, he will become a tsar. Establisher of new laws. Guardian of peace and justice. He will judge his enemies. You couldn't let any of your friends stand in front of him then. Or better, to prevent Aleksander IV/The Darkling from reigning at all.
"The sooner we get there, the better. What do you think, moonlight?"
"The people are tired, and our horses are too. I don't think a day's delay will do us any harm. Everyone will have enough time to gain strength and prepare for the firebird hunt or other tasks."
"With all due respect, moi soverenyi, Lady Y/N is right. The mood in the camp is not good; people could use a little respite."
"Then it will be as my moon said. Tell our people to get ready for tomorrow. You can get some rest yourselves. You all are free." Aleksander released them, shocking both his men and you with how easily he changed his mind.
He put his hand on your thigh, stopping you from leaving the tent with his soldiers. It wasn't until the last Grisha was out of your sight that he turned completely towards you.
"Are you sure everything's okay? You've been acting weird lately." he asked, examining your face carefully. You really wish Genya was here… she'd be better at concealing your dark circles than face powder.
"Weird? No I... I just trying to fit into a new role. I have to admit that it's very hard to be you." he chuckled, moving your chair closer to him so you could lean against his side. He ran one hand through your hair and wrapped the other around your waist to feel you against him.
"I don't know what you do or how you charm everyone around you, but you don't have to try very hard to earn their respect. They already value your decisions and adore you. They even call you a Sankta. It's so much more than I'll ever be."
"Should I call you Sankt Aleksander, then?" you asked, raising an eyebrow with a teasing smirk on your face, to which he just snorted in amusement. If you were a heartrender, you would know how his heart beat faster as soon as he saw that smile on your face.
"As long as I have my own star shining for me, I can stay known as The Saint With No Stars." he said, kissing your cheek and resting his forehead against the side of your head. You sat like that for a while, enjoying the hug and each other's presence.
It wasn't just your people who were tired. You two, too, have felt the burden of the past few weeks acutely. The search for amplifiers, the fights between Aleksander and Alina, your secret help to the crows, performing in front of an audience, recruiting new Grishas—Aleksander's entire war campaign took its toll on him as well as on you.
And while you wanted to curse yourself for seeking solace in the arms of the man who made you go through all of this, you just couldn't (and didn't want to) deprive yourself of his comforting presence. Ironic, right? To find peace and safety in the arms of someone you should hate with all your heart.
"You're not alone, my little saint. You can tell me everything that bothers you. You don't have to deal with your thoughts by yourself." he whispered into your hair, holding you tighter.
He wasn't Kaz. If he had heard even a speck of your doubts, he would have increased his guard around you and watched you more than before. He couldn't know what was in your head, what tormented you day and night, or the moral struggle within you. That you felt something for both of them at the same time. And that even if you tried so hard for the last few weeks, you couldn't sort out your feelings.
"It goes both ways, Aleksander." you mumbled, pulling away from him so you could cup his cheek with your hand.
You ran your finger across one of his black scars. He narrowed his eyes as soon as he felt your soft skin on his scar. You knew he hated them. That he despised any reminder of what had happened in the fold. About how his volcra played with him. For a moment, you thought he would drop the idea of extending the fold after this. However, in some strange way, his encounter with the volcras only strengthened that desire.
You planted a small, tender kiss on one of the particularly large scars—the one running down the centre of his face. Aleksander sighed tremblingly.
"Using merzost and summoning nichevo'ya only makes them worse. You do not have to do that. You don't have to destroy yourself from within to fight this war."
"I'm not weak. I know my limits, Y/N."
"I never doubted it, Aleksander." you ran your hand through his hair, calming his anger. You've probably both been surprised at how easily you can change his mood every time you do it. "You are hundreds of years old, more experienced in your power than any Grisha on this earth. That doesn't mean that you'll listen to your limits or that you won't push yourself beyond your safe border. You know what I'm worrying about all the time? You. Whenever you use this."
"Don't bother yourself with it. I'll always be back for you. No matter how many nichevo'ya I summon or how much merzost I use. Nothing can keep me away from you."
You didn't answer anything. Instead, you moved to his lap and caught his lips in a tender kiss.
It was your safe answer to each of his gentle declarations of love. He would never refuse your kiss; the feeling of your soft, warm lips on his was like nothing else he had known or felt in hundreds of years. Unfortunately for you, he wasn't the only one whose heart beat faster the moment your lips met.
And even though neither of you trusted each other, you enjoyed that little sweet moment between you two. After all, everyone needs someone close to them.
Even an enemy company was still better than none. But could you still call Aleksander your enemy?
~•♤♤♤•~
You had to admit that even though you were "on Darkling's team," not much had really changed in your life. For example, for balance, instead of dreaming about Aleksander, you dreamed about Kaz… and you didn't know which of those dreams were worse.
On nights like this, when you lay by Kirigan's side (which was rare considering how much of a workaholic he was), you weren't afraid that he'd accidentally hear you whisper Brekker's name. Even the shadow lord had to rest sometime, and when he did, he usually slept soundly.
That's why you fell asleep peacefully, wondering if your mind would give you at least a moment of peace and let you enjoy a blissful, unconscious sleep.
You groaned as an unimaginable amount of light hit your eyes. You rubbed your eyes and turned on your other side to hide your face on the shoulder of the man next to you. A very familiar and rare giggle made you open your eyes immediately.
"Kaz?"
"Finally. I thought I wouldn't wake you up until noon. And believe me, I've tried many things. Even the trumpets." he was surprisingly in good spirits, and the mere fact that he didn't flinch from embracing you while you were lying on the same bed under the same duvet told you it was just a dream again.
A real Kaz would never do something like that.
No matter how much you want it.
"You obviously didn't try hard enough." you finally choked out, glad to see that familiar amused-annoyed look on his face.
"Well, our little crow couldn't wake you up either."
"Little crow?" you asked, confused, but the man ignored your question. He ripped the covers off you, to your surprised squeal, and tossed them on one of the armchairs.
"I'll take care of her today. You and Jes are on a scouting mission at one of the mansions of those "rich snobs," as you like to call them. And for the saints' sake, Y/N, it's just a scouting mission. Our daughter doesn't have the best role models anyway; it doesn't help that her mother fights all over the place with literally everyone just because she's a powerful moon summoner and thinks she can do anything." he said as he was going through the closet. He threw some clothes at you, laughing when instead of you catching them, you let them hit your face.
You were so shocked that you couldn't make a move.
"Daughter?" your question remains unanswered again.
"Get dressed and go downstairs. Nina is making breakfast. I think you wouldn't want to miss it, Moonstone."
He left the room, leaving you dazed on the bed. What the fuck was going on here? You had a daughter. With Kaz. It really was a twisted dream.
You got dressed anyway and looked around the room. No extraordinary things. Just a bedroom with things that would probably belong to Kaz and you. You sighed as you opened the door. Your room was normal, practically identical to Kaz's, but the hallway looked... homely. Too homely, judging by the toys scattered around and the drawings of crows, Kaz, you, and some little kid. Your child.
Having no idea what might be waiting for you downstairs (apart from Nina making waffles and Kaz), you hesitantly descended the stairs as if they would take you to the heart of a great battle.
And you could partly say you were right.
You made your way to the living room, where everything else looked pretty normal. A few drawings, crayons, and pencils were strewn across the floor (some of the child's masterpieces were intertwined with Kaz's plans), but other than the usual mess, there was nothing out of the ordinary here.
The problem started behind the door leading to the dining room with an open kitchen, from where came children's shouts and laughter.
"Mom!" something small attacked you as you walked into the room, hugging your legs with all its strength so that you almost fell to the floor. "Aunt Inej helped me climb a huge tree! And Uncle Jes, Wylan, and Mat promised me and Lily that they would make us a playhouse on it. And you know what?! Dad taught me a new trick; can I show you?"
The pleading reflection in the eyes, so similar to yours and attached to a little face that was the perfect combination of you and Kaz, left you speechless. You were looking at your daughter. Child of the Moon Summoner and a Bastard from the Barrel.
"After breakfast, little spitfire. Let your mother wake up. Our moon girl doesn't take mornings very well." Jes answered for you as she dragged you to the table where the rest of the crows were sitting. Between him and Wylan sat their own princess, probably the same age as your daughter.
It might be unrealistic for the crows to be sitting in your kitchen eating breakfast before going on their missions, but you had to admit that as strange as it was, the dream was very... enjoyable. Especially when you saw your daughter climb into her father's lap and order him to cut the waffle into smaller pieces.
Even though you could barely make sense of the situation, everything seemed... normal.
As if Inej should always be showing the children tricks with her knives at the table, and Wylan and Jes should be bantering at your table with themselves and their adopted daughter like a good old couple.
As if Nina was always meant to be your cook, laughing at that "Mr. Amazing Hat" should have paid her double for feeding you all while she forced Matthias to help her.
As if Kaz was doomed to watch them all with a little smirk, occasionally giving you a fond look while he entertained your daughter on his lap.
And for a moment, you felt as if you belonged to this world of your invention, as if you had always belonged there.
The crows dispersed (too fast for you), leaving you alone with Kaz and your daughter, who ran upstairs to get ready to spend the day with Uncle Wylan, Lily, and Dad.
And when Kaz took your hand, pulled your chair closer to his, and caught your lips in a soft, sweet "good luck" kiss, you prayed to all the saints you knew to never wake up from this dream.
"Be even a minute late and I'll send half the Dregs after you." you shivered as his ungloved hand caressed your cheek gently.
"Kaz Brekker worried about someone? I can't believe I lived to see that day." he adjusted the ring on your finger—the exact same one he gave you to defend against the Darkling—and planted a kiss on your ring finger.
"I take care of what's mine." you knew from the mischievous twinkle in his eyes that the bastard had something planned… you never thought he'd want to leave you a hickey on the most sensitive spot on your neck. You held your breath, not thinking, as you threaded your hand through his hair, pulling him closer. "Y/N Brekker has not given any feisty answer? I can't believe I lived to see that day."
And just as his hands finally touched the skin of your hot waist, your treacherous mind decided to end this beautiful, unrealistic dream... making you long for this moment and life you'll never have.
~•♤♤♤•~
You hate waking up like this.
When you had to return to this role. To fight emotions that did not make it any easier for you to make an already difficult decision.
Despite your pure, selfish desire to live as a simple crow, partner in crime (and not only) to Kaz Brekker, you've had to face the fact that you ARE a Sankta. Grisha. The world has given you a role you never wanted. But now that Aleksander had acquainted you with all otkazat'sas crimes against your people, you could not stand aside.
You had to finally take a side.
And you had to do it faster than you'd like.
You sighed as you looked around the empty bedroom. You saw a patch of light behind the curtain separating the Darkling's office from your bedroom. Without thinking, you pulled off the warm duvet and walked barefoot all the way to his office.
You stopped at the entrance to his office, watching as he busily worked on some sketches. His shadows hovered obediently around the distracted man, who hadn't even noticed your silent presence.
"You'll work yourself to death someday, making it too easy for your enemies." you accosted him, sending a streak of very bright light onto the papers he was holding.
You slowly walked towards him; the shadows parted on your way to the dark-haired man, who had been staring only at you since you turned his desk into a bedside lamp.
"Only if I'm not blinded by my moonlight first." with a flick of your wrist, your light disappeared, making the glow of the candle flames the only light in the general's "dark office".
"You're slowly turning into a mole, you know that, right?" he chuckled, extending his arm towards you. You walked over to him and leaned against him as he pulled you closer to him with one hand. "What is this?" you asked curiously, taking one of the sketches on his desk.
The man next to you tensed, trying to snatch the paper from your hands. You sat on top of him, reaching your arms high up to prevent him from doing so.
"Milaya..." he grunted a warning, placing his hands on your waist so you wouldn't accidentally fall off his lap.
Once you had a good look at the drawing, you turned in his arms and slid down so that your back was resting against his chest. You turned your head to look at his face. He stared at the drawing, avoiding your questioning gaze.
"Is it a house plan? Why are you drawing something like this?" he gave you a puzzled look, which made you snort in annoyance. "Don't look at me like that. I'll recognise your line anywhere. What is it for?"
He sighed, gently taking the paper from your hands and tossing it on the desk. He stared at her for a moment, unsure of what to say. But as soon as his gaze met yours, he opened up.
"After our conversation today, I thought that being Ravka's queen isn't something you needfully want… that's why I have this alternative."
"And what exactly are you thinking about?"
"Well… we'd have to take the reins of the new country for a while, but later, when things settle down? Someone else may be dealing with the weight of power."
"Wait… you… are you telling me you don't want to be a tsar?" you were shocked. You didn't know if he was playing with you or if he was being completely honest for the first time you'd met him. His words couldn't be trusted, but his eyes... when they looked at you so vulnerable... It was impossible to even think that there were evil intentions behind those eyes.
"As long as I have you? I don't want a throne, a crown, or having to go to those extravagant balls for highborn nobles who are too self-absorbed to take care of their people. And the last thing I want is to see you miserable because of the life you didn't want to."
"Hundreds of years on earth, and all your dreams are limited to living in a little hut with some moon summoner?"
"Lapushka, these are just preliminary plans. I'm not going to build you a little hut. It will be a palace."
And what could you say when a powerful Black Heretic volunteered to leave his established position just to fulfil some of your stupid dreams of a simple, normal life? What could you say when those captivating dark eyes, eyes that have seen more than one battle and cruel death, stared at you with such affection and devotion?
You did what you always did when you didn't know what to say to him.
You gently grabbed his neck and pulled him into a kiss. If he understood that you only did it when he left you speechless, he didn't show it at all. He enjoyed every ounce of your affection.
"Let's go back to bed, Sasha… tomorrow is also a day." you whispered into his mouth as you pulled away.
"Go. I'll be joining you soon."
You nodded, stepping slowly off his lap and forming a small ball of light in your hand, and headed back towards your bedroom.
"Thank you, Y/N." it completely froze you in place. You stood halfway to the "doorway" to your bedroom, completely unsure of what or why he was thanking you for. Someone who should rather curse you instead of being grateful for anything.
"Whatever for?" you asked, turning to face him, glad you managed to keep your voice from shaking.
"For believing in me. That you are one of the few who still stay by me. I wasn't completely honest, zyoma maya olya. Not with you. Not with anyone for many centuries. Despite my half-truths, you still chose to forgive me. To trust me. To be by my side. To help me." he said, walking over to you with his eyes fixed on yours in such a way that you realised those irises would be your undoing. In one way or another. "I just… I've been fighting this war alone for so long…" a red light went on in your head as soon as his hand cupped your cheek.
He was playing with you. He tried again to manipulate and deceive you. Your mind screamed for you to move away from his touch and do anything to break this spell between you. But your foolish heart was deaf to anything other than Aleksander's voice.
And those fucking puppy eyes he was giving you…
"You're not alone, Aleksander. Not anymore."
No matter how much you wanted to deceive yourself and your mind.
No matter how much you fought against his charm.
It was true. You will be with him till the end...
Either stabbing him in the back or being his queen. You weren't sure how it was going to end yet.
And your confused emotions and gullible heart only made it harder to hate the man who kissed you, like nothing in this world but you mattered to him.
~•♤♤♤•~
This time, you weren't plagued by any strange dreams about the future you might have had.
You woke up alone as usual to a tiny ray of sunlight that somehow made its way through the general's black tent. You involuntarily thought about Alina. Baghra told you she was supposed to take control of your little rebel group. You couldn't help but worry about the fate of the sun summoner. She didn't want to be a saint either. But she seemed to accept it better than you did.
"Moya soverennyia?" you sighed as someone's voice pierced through the tent. You really weren't up to it today.
"Yes?" you ask while still basking in the warmth of a bed.
"The general ordered me to tell you that we're leaving in two hours."
"Thank you."
Fortunately, the messenger merely set your breakfast tray down and did not disturb you any more. Reluctantly, you dragged yourself out of bed, changed clothes, and began flipping through the new letters to both you and the general.
Nothing could have prepared you for a letter from Colonel Rietveld.
With trembling hands, you broke the seal and opened the letter, making sure the envelope was burned in the fireplace as soon as possible. You didn't know how much time you had before Ivan or Fedyor burst in. You had to be quick.
Moya soverenyia,
I hate that name for you so much that it hurts me just to write it down.
Don't worry, I'm not a fool who writes such things at the very beginning of the letter without making sure that only your hands can open it. Despite your firm belief that I have remained that stupid, rash boy, I must say that I am not.
(And you know how much I "hate" proving you wrong.)
I don't know how much time you have to yourself (although I hope HE leaves you much longer compared to the time he is with you. I also believe you realise he doesn't deserve an ounce of your light.) so instead of properly scolding you for saving us and playing hero (lecture you won't miss), I'll get to the point.
We are close. Closer than he realises. That's why you don't have to play martyr, spy, hero, or whatever you're pretending to be now.
We need you with us to end the fold and HIM once and for all.
I need you.
So if you can… come to us. You know where to find me us. Crows always find their way to their nest.
I We are waiting for you, moon girl.
K.B.R.
P.S. I dare you to come back and take what's yours.
I will have you, Kaz Brekker. But only when it's safe for both of us.
"The crows always find their way to the nest… stupidest hint you could have given me, Kazzle."
"Y/N?! Are you ready to go?"
Fedyor's voice snapped you out of your thoughts about Brekker. You threw the letter into the fire, making sure that there was nothing left of it but ashes. Then you took your black-silver kefta and went outside with the heartrender for your first meeting with colonels.
Alina and the crows needed you. Kaz needed you.
If you were to run away, you'd have to do it at night, when Aleksander's guard dogs weren't watching your every step and he himself was sound asleep beside you. You just didn't know if you should do it. Running away would be your ultimate betrayal to Aleksander... betrayal to the other Grisha. Were you ready to fight the people you've become close to over the last few weeks?
All the people inside and outside the tent believed in their Sankta Y/N. That you will widen the fold together with Aleksander. That you will give them peace after years of fear, humiliation, and ridicule. That they would get their own safe piece of land to call home. But is it possible to build a house on the blood, tears, and bones of others?
The meeting dragged on unmercifully, and the mere fact that Aleksander was missing made you suspicious. He did not miss such meetings. Never. Something very important must have happened.
You finished the meeting earlier than planned. Fortunately, no one complained and they obediently left the tent. Fedyor walked you back and left you alone after you lied that you needed to finish packing and that you'd rather do it yourself without anyone's help.
You managed to sneak out of the tent without anyone by your side and go to the tent where Baghra was being held. You had a feeling that Aleksander might have gone there secretly from you. And you were right.
You slipped inside unnoticed and hid behind the tent's multiple layers of curtains, making sure none of them saw you. The shadows circling around the tent only made your task easier.
"Where is your sobachka? She never leaves your side, not if it isn't necessary." you rolled your eyes at the woman's snarky comment. She was lucky you preferred to eavesdrop on them.
"It's nice to see that you're starting to warm up to your future daughter-in-law and are worried about her. Y/N is resting before we left. I guess you understood that this is your last chance to tell me everything you know about a firebird."
"You want to marry her? Does she know about your plans?" she asked, as shocked by his idea as you were.
"No, but thanks, Baghra. At least you're interested in my opinion." you shuddered at the thought of having a woman as your mother-in-law. One of you would definitely not survive this.
"She'll find out at the right time."
"Like about everything else, darling." you thought bitterly. Maybe they were all right. Maybe Aleksander really was a lost cause, not worthy of your time...
"You don't want to learn from your mistakes, do you, boy?" at least you weren't the only one who thought so too. As you could see, Aleksander, however, did not care much about her words, or at least he did not show it.
"What do you mean?" he asked and took a step towards her, getting dangerously close to your hiding place.
"I don't recall Miss Y/L/N appreciating your half-truths lately. Despite what happened, you still repeat your actions. What a pity. But it's good for her. Maybe this time she will be smart enough to see that all you care about is your power and nothing more."
Baghra was right. You three knew it. A pre-Ravka Y/N; a girl before becoming a moon summoner; a thief before being kidnapped from Ketterdam would have fled to the other continent before the Darkling long ago. But you've changed... not exactly for the better.
"Y/N is by my side. She is all that matters now to me. She is the future. She will stay with me till the end. She is the one…"
By my side. I've always seen you by my side.
"Yes, I know she is." she cut him off with her trademark mocking smile. "But WHERE does her loyalty lie, boy?"
It was a very good question. A question you and Aleksander didn't have a sure answer to. You could say that he doubted your loyalty too, judging by the way he tensed slightly under his mother's gaze. But you knew him too well for a moment to have the illusion that he would let Baghra win their duel of words.
"Be careful. You don't really matter anymore. I can find the answer to my question without you. Y/N will help me."
I can only do this with you by my side. As my equal. As a person who thinks like me and can keep up with my plans. As my partner. As the only one I can trust.
"You put so much hope in this girl. What a naive child you became. She doesn't love you and never will love again. Once broken, trust cannot be rebuilt, Aleksander. Whatever beautiful lies she feeds you, they are just empty words. She will leave you. She'll run back straight into her boyfriend's arms right after she stabs you in that black, cold heart."
The silence after her words was painful. For both you and the man. Yes. It could all end like this. It would probably even be best for you - to get away from it all, from him, even before all hell breaks loose with the fold, Grishas and Otkazat'syas in the lead roles.
You could live peacefully. No saints, Grishas, power-hungry people, or your possibly dying just because of what you've become. Only you, Kaz and the crows.
I dare you to come back and take what's yours.
But could you just abandon the Grishas? To leave it all behind, like an unpleasant memory, and cut off from Ravka and her problems forever? Get away from HIM?
I will be back for you, my Y/N. Wherever you are hiding from me.
No. If Baghra was right about anything, it was that Aleksander would not stop chasing you as long as you lived. You were stuck with him. The light of his darkness... unless you eclipse him so much that there will never be any more shadows accompanying the moonlight.
I may not believe in saints, but I believe in you, Y/N. I will always believe in you.
You could have done it. You knew you were capable of this and even greater things. You could kill them both right now if you wanted to. Thanks to the little amplifier Aleksander had already given you, you were much more powerful than any of the shadow summoners.
But could you live without YOUR darkness?
"Tell me where to find the firebird." Aleksander's demand snapped you out of your thoughts. Only now have you noticed that Baghra has somehow gotten out of her shackles, summoning her shadows against her own son.
"It's too late for the firebird, boy."
"Please don't threaten me. It will be the worst for you." he didn't want to fight her. You saw it very clearly in his eyes. And you'd be lying if you said you weren't pleasantly surprised.
"You know that I loved you, Aleksander. I swear I did. But I guess it wasn't enough."
You don't agree with her. She could love him more—enough to wisely outsmart him and set him on the right path. But if she couldn't do it—his own mother— then how big were your chances?
"No, please no! No! Please! No! No!" dread. Something you've never heard in a Darkling's voice or thought he could feel. The sheer fear he showed immediately sparked your action.
You came out of hiding, running inside just in time to get between nichevo'ya and Baghra. A bright white light shot from your hand, blinding everyone in the tent except you. The nichevo'ya moved away from the woman and Aleksander, fleeing from you into a corner.
You glanced at Baghra, making sure she was okay, and ran over to Aleksander, who was kneeling on the floor.
"Y/N?" his low, scared tone of voice made your heart clench with grief. You knelt next to him, wrapping your arms around him tightly and rocking him back and forth.
"It's okay, Sasha. Nothing happened, everyone is fine."
"I… I didn't mean it. I swear. I…" he stuttered through his tears as the effects of summoning nichevo'ya took their toll on him.
"Shh, I know. Everything's all right, just give me a second, Sasha." Aleksander hugged you tighter, to Baghra's snort, which you shot a stern look at. Surprisingly, the woman looked away from you, wincing slightly. You were shocked that she left this tender, almost defenceless gesture of her son without comment. You glanced at her reddened neck from the grip of the shadows. Nichevo'ya must have hurt her badly to show signs of pain. Someone had to take her away and heal her. But you couldn't just leave him like that. "It's okay. I'll stay with you, Aleksander. I am not going anywhere." you whispered, placing a soft, tender kiss on his temple, back to making him sure he's safe. "Ivan!"
You've never been so grateful for the presence of a man hovering over you all the time. From your one glance, Ivan knew what to do next without hesitating for a moment: enter the tent full of shadows and lead Baghra out.
Now all you had to do was deal with the trembling Darkling in your arms, who seemed to cling to you like a child to a teddy bear after a nightmare.
"It's okay. They can't hurt anyone. I made sure they did not come any closer. You're safe, Sasha." you continued to whisper, stroking his back.
After a few minutes of listening to your comforting voice and heartbeat, it calmed him down enough for him to stop clinging desperately to you. He had you on his lap, running his hands over your body - making sure his shadows didn't hurt you.
You knelt like that for a while, looking into each other's eyes in silence. And for a moment, very brief and fleeting, you felt blissful, utter peace, completely forgetting about the cares waiting for you behind the tent curtain.
About people waiting for further commands from their soverenyias.
About the fact that holding you man was a terrible liar.
Love is for madmen, Y/N.
"How much of that have you heard?"
"Enough to know that you can't control them. None of them."
"I can… but only for a while." he murmured, still looking into your eyes and cupping your cheek. It took you a moment to realise what his words meant.
Your light was gone. And the Nichevo'ya themselves returned to him. Which should be impossible, considering you attacked them moments earlier. They should want to kill you. Just like Baghra.
And then the truth hit you.
Aleksander wasn't lying when he told you that you were his anchor. Only with you near him could he fully control his new power.
You didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
"Aleksander..." you chose to whisper his name tenderly and pull him into a kiss to calm both his maddening heart and your tangled thoughts.
You may have just saved Baghra, but will you be able to repeat your feat for someone else? Will Aleksander's shadows listen to him again and refrain from attacking you?
If Darkling had no control over them, why was he so desperate to enlarge the fold - to inflict even more pain on himself? Did he want to get rid of them this way - by exploiting most of his power? Or maybe he knew that his end was near anyway, and enlarging the fold was meant to be the culmination of his whole life? Maybe that's why he was so willing to give up a future for you. A future that he wouldn't have anyway?
You had so many questions, but the only person who knew the answers to them didn't seem willing enough to reveal their secrets. And yet... maybe it was enough just to talk to him? Before Kaz, the crows, Alina and Mal put their plan into action and got rid of him forever.
I dare you to come back and take what's yours.
Were you brave enough to confront the Black Heretic about the truth he was hiding? Did you even want to be privy to his plans?
I will have you, Kaz Brekker. But only when it's safe for both of us.
One thing was certain.
You had to choose a side.
Before it's too late to rescue your true love.
*Yes, there are two endings*
~•♤♤♤•~It's okay to love them both. I did - Katerina Petrova~•♤♤♤•~
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You didn't know if you were doing the right thing.
You didn't know if removing the fold would actually solve the problem, or if it could have been solved peacefully by convincing the Otkazat'syas to create equal rights for the Grisha.
You didn't know if, after destroying the fold with Alina and giving Ravka's power to Nikolai, the situation would stabilise at all.
You didn't know if you could defeat the Darkling.
But you knew where and to whom to run as soon as the first stars appeared in the sky.
You weren't thinking at all. You just grabbed a few essentials and left everything behind as you ran straight ahead, exactly where your instincts told you to go. It's as if the moon and stars themselves led you to HIM.
Kaz was right. Crows know how to find their way to the nest.
You don't know who was more surprised. You or Inej patrolling their hideout. But you both agreed to throw yourselves into each other's arms as soon as your eyes met.
"It's good to see you." she murmured as the two of you parted. "Alina was worried that you'd changed your mind, that the Darkling had manipulated you again. Even Jes was panicking, and I have strong reason to believe Kaz is planning a way to get you out of HIS camp right now. Nina can't stand how his heart pounds every time the outside door opens."
"Then let's go inside before they storm against a hundred armed Grishas."
Inej put her arm around you and you both entered through a hidden passage to their "nest". You walked down the hall and were about to run inside when Inej grabbed your wrist and put her finger to her lips to silence you.
"For God's sake, Kaz, it's just Inej! Can you calm down before you have a heart attack because you get excited every time someone opens that damn door?!" Nina's annoyance amused you. You giggled, feeling genuine and carefree for the first time in months.
A sudden silence filled the living room. Inej dragged you with her to the entrance, confirming the crows' suspicions. You were home.
"What? No welcome hug for your moongirl? Ouch."
Jes was the first to lunge at you, nearly knocking you to the floor, and if it weren't for Alina, who was on your other side, hugging you with all her strength, you would have probably landed on the floor.
"About the damn time, Y/L/N."
You laughed a second time, hugging the rest of the crows who had joined you. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Nikolai and Mal watching the scene with a smile. However, the group was effectively blocking your view of the one person you desperately wanted to see.
The tap of the staff made the crows and Alina move away from you. You were standing in front of Kaz, composed as usual, whose face showed no emotions. But the eyes… you were probably one of the few who could read those eyes.
"Missed me, Kazzle?" you asked, grinning mischievously as his nickname left your lips.
However, he didn't respond to your provocation. He stared at you for a moment, then took one slow step towards you. Then the second. Third. Fourth. His cane tapped on the old wooden floor until he stood in front of you. You were centimetres apart.
And just as you were about to make some funny, sarcastic comment, something astonishing happened. Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel, Dirtyhands HUGGED you.
You already hugged him. You were so happy and blessed by the saints that you knew the feeling of those arms around you. But he'd never done it so... calmly. As if his waters would never rise. As if Jordie couldn't appear in front of his eyes at any moment. And the soft sigh that only you could hear as he buried his face in your hair hinted at relief. Not fear. Not anxiety. Not disgusted by the touch. Just relief. And comfort.
"Welcome home, moonlight."
You didn't know how long your hug lasted or when the others left the room, leaving you alone. All you knew was that at that moment, your world was limited to the man in front of you. Your friend. A partner in crime. Your one true love.
Suddenly (much to your silent protest), he pulled away from you. You watched in surprise as he began to take off his glove. The ring stone gleamed in the candlelight, as did your white light, which unconsciously began to emanate from you the moment he hugged you.
"It belongs to you." he caught your eye, and without taking his eyes off yours, he took your left hand gently and put the ring on your finger. You shivered as his warm fingers touched your icy skin. You watched mesmerised as he leaned over your hand and placed a quick kiss on your ring finger.
"Who are you and what have you done with Kaz Brekker?" you whispered in a trembling voice, unable to believe what was happening.
"No snide remark about how unromantic I am proposing to you? Who are you and what have you done with Y/N Y/L/N?"
"You know damn well you need a bigger ring to propose to me."
"Duly noted." you giggled, which made him smile softly. You stared at each other, taking in the sight of each other and watching the changes in your appearance. You were both tired. You could tell by the dark circles under your eyes, but nothing could take away the sparkle of happiness. "I thought you'd stay. WITH HIM."
"I guess I just can't stay away from you for long. Even if there is someone who needs my help more than you."
"We need you. I… I need you." with his still-gloved hand, he cupped your cheek, never relaxing his grip on your hand as he moved closer to you. "I want you, Y/N Y/L/N. And I'm not gonna wait ages for you, just because it's never going to be safe for us. That's how we both live. Still in danger, fighting our enemies as well as we can. We can bear and deal with as many problems as no one else. If you hadn't come back for me, I would have come for you. And if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together—knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting. I… I will never stop fighting to be back with you. And those months without you… I told Pekka that the trick is not to love anything. Never, in all the years that you were gone and that I had you by my side in my worst and my best moments, have I ever realised that I was fooling myself. I loved this whole time, I still love and I'll always love."
"Kruge?" you saw him fight both his irritation and a smirk that threatened to break his bitter façade.
"I'm trying to be romantic for you here."
"And I'm trying not to cry and look even more like a mess. So forgive me for intruding on your speech with my comments you didn't anticipate, Brekker." he smiled, which made you mentally congratulate yourself on this small victory.
"I want you, Y/N Y/L/N. All of you." he suddenly let go of your hand and cupped your other cheek, moving so close that your noses were almost touching. The feel of his skin on yours was unearthly. It felt like a dream. And you'd curse any saint if it all turned out to be just another one of your dreams. "No matter what I have to do."
He was fighting with his haphephobia. For you. Because of you. And the sudden, impossible thought at that moment that you could live like in your dream crossed your mind.
You would take anything he could give you. It doesn't matter how much it would be, if it were just quick kisses on the forehead, hand, cheek, or a hug once a month. You don't care, as long as you have him.
"You've never had a problem getting what you wanted. What's stopping you now?"
And if Nina was annoyed by Brekker's rapid heart rate before, now she was furious when your heart had a fucking fit when Kaz kissed you.
You gasped in shock, freezing in place as you felt his soft lips on yours. Only after a moment, when Kaz wanted to move away from you in embarrassment, you grabbed him by the hair and pulled him to you, returning the kiss with all your longing and burning heart for him.
He must have breathed in relief as you took control and guided his inexperienced lips (although you had to be honest, he made the heat spread over you - which the sudden flash of white light illuminating the room only proved). You had to work on this sudden release of your light in his presence. Something that Brekker won't fail to joke about at the earliest opportunity.
You moved away from each other. You watched him closely, making sure he was okay. Kaz pushed your hair behind your ear and leaned in for another kiss. You were about to stop him, fearing it would be too much for him all at once, but luckily someone else interrupted you.
"Finally! The tension between you could be cut with a knife. Zenik! Give me my money! I was right—he'd pounce on her as soon as he saw her. That's my boy! Look, Wylan, how fast they grow. Only yesterday, he was our little boy who hadn't had his first kiss yet."
"Jesper." Kaz growled, glaring at him sternly. You were amazed at how quickly he went from sweet Rietveld to menacing Brekker.
"Yes, brother?"
"Run."
Jesper didn't need to be told twice. He grabbed Wylan's hand and dragged him deeper into the hideout, laughing. From the loud slam of the door, you guessed he had locked himself in their room with him.
"Saints, Kaz, you can actually look happy!" Nina decided to take over the role of the absent Jes.
"Don't be ridiculous." he snarled, taking your hand and pushing his way through the people in the hallway, probably following in Jes' footsteps and locking the two of you into his own room.
But Nina was right. There was no mistaking it for anything else. Kaz Brekker was smiling like an idiot in love. And you probably had a similar smirk on your flushed face.
~•♤♤♤•~
You made it. You and Alina destroyed the fold. With fascination, all of you watched as it slowly disappeared from the world.
But it wasn't over yet. You glanced briefly at Kaz and the crows and nodded to Alina. The final stage of your plan. Defeating the Darkling.
You and Alina separated, walking through the remnants of the fold with your own lights at the ready.
You knew you'd be the one to find him. He wouldn't mind adding even more drama to the situation.
After you left him, he tried to contact you by infiltrating your dreams, but with the two amplifires in your body, you were now too powerful for that trick to work any longer.
You walked among the worst of the remaining shadows, knowing full well that he must be among them. You could feel it through your bond.
"Aleksander." you said without turning to face him. You knew that he was there, watching you, as always.
"Y/N. Are you going to kill me?" the mockery in his question fueled your anger. You turned around, drawing your sword in front of you. You were right. He stood surrounded by the remnants of the fold that defended itself against the destructive power of you and Alina.
"You left me no other choice." you snapped back, tensing as he took a step towards you, not caring at all about the weapon in your hands.
"Your hands are shaking. It doesn't make you look like a formidable opponent, my Y/N."
"I don't want to kill you, Aleksander. I never wanted to." you decided to change your tactics. You lowered your sword and walked over to him, facing the man as you both stared at each other.
"We could have changed the world. You and me. Together."
"Yes. We could." his gaze flicked to your lips for a moment, then he looked at your eyes again, searching for any feelings in them. This time, you'll lure him into your trap. You will be his end, just like you promised him. Even though you really didn't want to. "But I was never yours, Aleksander. I was meant to be a crow. Not a saint. Not a moon summoner. Not your equal. Maybe we could have had it all, but not in this life."
"We shall meet again, Y/N. This is not the end of our story."
"Possibly…" you took a step closer, resting your forehead against his. "But it will continue only in hell." before he could summon the shadows, you blinded him with your light, and in one swift movement, you plunged your sword through his heart.
"Without me… now they will come for you." he tried to scare you by reminding you of his shadows.
"Then let them come." you took the sword out of him, flinching as black liquid began to drip from the blade to the ground. Aleksander fell to his knees. You dropped your weapon and grabbed him as you helped him lay on the ground as he took his last breaths.
"And yet I die in your arms." he paused, coughing up black blood. Your guilt increased as grief overcame you. He didn't deserve such an ending, but you knew there was no other way but his death. "Make sure there is nothing left from me. Please, Y/N. Please."
"You have my word... I'm sorry, Aleksander." he cupped your cheek with his hand, staring intently at you as death slowly took him away.
"Don't be… my sweet, little saint." his hand dropped, and his head tilted back towards the moon shining next to the sun. Aleksandr Morozova died.
You screamed, suddenly feeling the light in your chest trying to split you apart. You don't know how long you screamed air from your lungs until the pain went away. With tears still streaming from your eyes, you stood up on shaky legs.
"Y/N?!" Alina ran over to you, immediately helping you stay on your feet. "What happened? We only saw your light and heard your scream."
"I… I don't know… I… I don't feel my power, Alina." the sun summoner had no time to reply. Kaz was on the other side immediately, carefully examining your face and body for any wounds. "I'm fine, Kazzle. Will you help me? I… I promised him something."
Brekker glanced at the Darkling's lifeless body. He nodded to you, handing you his cane.
"Take it. And tell us what to do." you took it from him with trembling hands and stood leaning against it. It actually helped. It was easier for you to stand on your own two feet.
"We have to… we have to burn him."
The funeral, if you could call it that, was modest. Alina and Kaz (and later you, when you convinced Brekker that you could pick twigs with his cane) made a funeral pyre, and Alina lit it with her light.
Your power has not returned. You had your suspicions.
You stood at the burning pyre. Alina and you stared blankly at Aleksander, both in their own ways "mourning" his passing. You felt Kaz's burning, worried gaze on you as you stood holding the metal crow's head tightly in your hands.
"Are you sure that…"
"Yes, Kaz. I am okay. You don't have to worry, I'll give your cane back in a minute." he opened his mouth, ready to argue with you, but luckily, you were interrupted.
"What happened there?"Jesper asked you when the crows finally got to the three of you. They stared at the burning pyre in shock.
"I killed him… the Darkling... Aleksander. And I think I accidentally lost my powers because of it. He was an amplifier. Apparently you can only have a few before it takes your powers."
"Should we be concerned that you don't care too much?"
"No. I never wanted to be a saint. I guess it was always my destiny to be a crow." Kaz gave you a worried look. You sighed, nodding your head slightly. He knew you better than anyone else. He knew how the Darkling's death affected you. Even if you led him to it. He walked over to you and grabbed your hand, drawing letters on your skin.
I am with you. Through everything.
I know. Thank you, Kazzle.
"So this is the end?" Jesper's question pulled you both out of your silent conversation.
"Of this journey. There will be another. And another one. And another. And so many others until we all hadn't had our own palaces and tonnes of kruge." you said with a smirk, taking the hat from Kaz and putting it on your head, to the crows laughing and your boyfriend snorting.
"Sounds good to me, moongirl. Wait… we'll have to come up with a new nickname for you. But that's later. So? What's next, boss?"
Kaz glanced at Alina. She nodded at him, giving you a small, tired smile.
"Follow us." Kaz grabbed your hand and led you arm-in-arm. You both held on to his cane.
You smirked, out of the corner of your eye noticing Inej disappearing into the shadows and the rest of the crows following you. You turned your gaze to Kaz. You looked at each other, exchanging knowing smiles.
Ketterdam, your bastards are coming home.
~•♤♤♤•~It's okay to love them both. I did - Katerina Petrova~•♤♤♤•~
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"What are you doing, lapushka?"
Even though he came from behind you, you didn't stop packing. You're used to him sneaking up on you when you least expect it. This time, you even felt his presence before he spoke.
"I'm packing my things."
"I can see that. My question is: WHY are you packing into your backpack instead of OUR chest?"
Several hours had passed since "the Baghra incident". The whole camp was packing up. Including you. You weren't going to stay here any longer and pretend everything was fine. Since Aleksander was going to pursue you anyway, you might as well break his heart before you leave. Just like he did with yours...
"You're a very, very clever man. I guess you can figure it out on your own. Like everything else." you replied coolly, never pausing to fold your clothes to give him even the slightest glance.
"Milaya… it was a really crappy few days. If you want to punish me, then…"
"I'm not your mother, Aleksander." you interrupted him coldly, not taking your attention for a moment from the things you were packing. "My job is not to raise, punish, admonish, or pay attention to you. But I don't think that you actually care when Baghra tries to give you some sense, so that would be pointless action from my side anyway."
"Then what is this? Manifestation of your anger and irritation? Should I get on my knees before you and apologise?"
"Well it would be nice, but as honest as saying that Ivan is our army's sunshine, so you can keep this, I believe, very considered apology for yourself."
"Then what do you want from me?"
"Nothing." your indifferent attitude annoyed him enough that he walked across the half of the tent to you in two steps and dumped the entire contents of your backpack onto the bed. "By acting like that, you're just proving me right." you replied, this time not folding anymore but immediately packing the clothes into the bag. Your mood lifted as you saw the annoyed, angry crease on his forehead.
"Right about what?! Leaving me just because…"
"THIS IS THE PROBLEM, ALEKSANDER!" you finally graced him with your gaze, turning towards the speechless man. You rarely screamed. Especially in anger. And almost never on him. "It isn't just a slight, unimportant thing that couples are fighting for. You broke my trust again! You hid the whole truth from me again! You put me in a position where I have no other choice but to leave you, so don't act like a surprised fool! It was you who broke us apart. It's always you. You want to make me the villain in our love story? Fine. Do it. But the truth is that YOU are the one who can't trust me. And yet it is you from our two who can't be trusted." during your furious monologue, you didn't even notice that you were walking up to him the whole time, until you pinned him against the wall of the tent.
You stared at him with resentful eyes, and just as you were about to pull away from him, you felt his hands on your wrist and neck. He changed your positions, moving much closer to you so that your chests were touching with each heavy breath you took in tandem.
"Careful, moonlight. You may know me, maybe even better than I do, but don't forget that I have that power over you too. If you wanted to go away, you would be now on your way to your pathetic friends' group. But you're here, talking to me. You don't want to leave. Why?"
"You know why." you whispered, refusing to admit what you both feel. You won't say the "L" word to him. Aleksander gently rubbed his nose against yours. The moment he was about to catch your lips in a kiss, you broke free from his grip and stood a few feet away from him. "But it doesn't matter what I want. I changed, Aleksander. I'm not going to stay. Not when you clearly don't want me to be your equal partner."
"I DO! Everything I do is for US!" he shouted, closing the distance between you.
"Then let me in! Completely. Not only to what's convenient for you to say to me. Or you will have no one to celebrate your great victory with. Surely not me." you growled, heading towards the exit of the tent, intending to leave him and it all behind you.
"Wait." you were not an obedient dog. He couldn't order you. "Please." the vulnerability in his voice shocked you enough to stop. A few steps from the exit. From ending everything you had ever had in common. "I was going to tell you about… about them… I just wanted to give you a little break before I put you again into my problems." you snorted in amusement, shaking your head in disbelief, when you heard the same fairy tale again. They were all right. He will never change. Not for you. "I was also scared!"
"Scared? Scared of what?" you groaned, turning to face him with folded arms.
"That I'll lose you the moment you realise I'm not as powerful as all of you think." you sighed, rubbing your forehead tiredly. You loved him. You really loved him. Despite everything he's done. But you've had enough of all of it by now.
"It isn't all about power, Aleksander. It never was. What a pity that you haven't realised it yet, after hundreds of years on this earth."
"And what choice did I have? With all those people who have always only wanted me dead? Who wanted other Grishas' deaths? Without power, you cannot do anything. You can't protect anyone by being weaker than your enemies, Y/N." he walked over to you and grabbed your hands, trying desperately to convince you to stay.
"You know what the real power is, Sasha? Family, love, friendship, loyalty—that's power. You can gain their respect, even make them fear you, and have them follow your every order without blinking, but this kingdom you want to create will not last the first century. Not if you continue to think like that. No one will follow the commands of a cruel Tsar who is afraid of losing control over everything and everyone."
"Watch your words. You're forgetting who you're talking to." he returned to this malevolent form of the Darkling. But you weren't a teenage Y/N from Ketterdam anymore. You were Grisha. Saint. Nobody and nothing could stop you.
"No. No, I don't. I'm talking with Aleksander. The man who taught me how to summon my light so I didn't have to train each day with his crazy mother. My Sasha, who stole for me chocolate for the kitchen and read to me Ravkan's fairy tales when my nightmares caught me at night. Not Kirigan or the Black Heretic. And you? Do you know who I'm talking to?" you asked, joining your hands again and forcing him to look into your eyes.
The sudden silence that filled the room after your words overwhelmed you more than your screams.
"Send for me when you know. I'm going to Kribirsk with Fedyor. You can join us when you have finally decided who you are."
You let go of his hands and gave him a disappointed look as you left the tent. You exhaled, shuddering as the chill night air hit your face, which was heated with emotion. Tears of helplessness began to come to your eyes. You couldn't change him. And even though you loved the shadow summoner in a strange way, you knew that being with him was destructive to both you and him. He couldn't be yours, and you didn't want to be his if that meant always being second to his Machiavellian plans.
Even though you and Aleksander had a fight about hiding the truth, you did it too. You weren't going anywhere with Fedyor. You went back to the crows. With a heavy heart, crying and dying inside because of the man you still loved. Feeling guilty that you left him alone and that this conversation will probably be your last until you all meet in the fold. Once he finds out you betrayed him, there's no going back. You will lose him forever.
You just hoped this whole war wouldn't end up as gruesome as in your nightmares.
And that he will be back for you.
~•♤♤♤•~
"You look like death."
Alina said as you made your way through the fold. You snorted, making room for her next to you, not taking your eyes off the shadows circling around you. If all goes your way, in two hours there won't be a trace of the fold... and neither will HE be.
"Thank you, Ali, you look as terrible in this war as I do."
"You know that's not what I mean. You miss him." you stood frozen, causing her to stop as well.
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do. I don't blame you for that. It's only logical that you feel that way about him. You have history and chemistry. I remembered how all the Little Palace was too scared to get on your nerves or train with you too hard in case Aleksander would get angry at them for "hurting his Y/N".
"This is the past, Alina. We're no longer in the Little Palace." you growled at her, trying to maintain your mask of indifference. You must not care about him.
"I just want to say… that I understand if..."
"There will be no ifs, Alina. It ends here." you cut her off before she could add anything else. You had one job as a moon summoner: to destroy the fold. You had to do it. Even at the cost of burying your own heart in the process.
Alina opened her mouth, probably wanting to continue arguing with you, when suddenly even more shadows surrounded you. Alexander must have been close. Which means that nichevo'ya and volcra too.
"Let's split up. One of us will distract him."
"Why do I feel like it's supposed to be me?! Alina!" you failed to stop the sun summoner. You cursed, summoning your light and scaring away the shadows circling around you.
The more you kept them away from you, the more they attacked you. You knew you had to leave the fold as soon as possible before you lost the last of your strength. You could have had two amplifiers, but you still couldn't match the power of the fold.
You started running in the direction you came from, hoping to run out of here and find Alina.
You didn't get far before one of the volcra grabbed your cloak, knocking you to the ground. You lost your concentration for a moment, and all the light around you went out. Panicked, you only managed to summon a small orb of light, which momentarily blinded the shadow creature.
You tried to get up, but the pain in your left leg wouldn't let you. You cursed as you saw a pool of blood gathering under your leg. You impaled yourself on some roots. A glorious death awaited you.
You closed your eyes, trying to summon as much light as possible to keep the volcras away from you.
Suddenly, instead of the warmth of your power, you felt more and more cold around you. One single tear spilled from your eye as you slowly began to accept your death and imprisonment by the shadows of the fold.
However, for a long time, nothing happened. You opened your eyes uncertainly and watched in a daze as the nichevo'ya chased the volcras away from you, attacking the more aggressive ones.
"It's okay. I've got you, milaya." his soft whisper against your ear gave you more comfort than any shadow or light. And you were ashamed of how much power he had over you.
You felt him gently take you in his arms, cutting off the roots you had impaled yourself with earlier. He secured your wound and wrapped his cloak around your legs. The Nichevo'ya continued to fight the volcra around you, scaring them away from you.
"Why? Why you did it?" you asked with a trembling voice. He had no interest in saving you. Your death would only help carry out his plans. And yet he entered the fold FOR YOU. And saved you from his volcras.
"You know why, zyoma maya olya (moon of my life)."
You didn't ask him anything else. You let yourself sink into his embrace and bury your head in the crook of his neck, inhaling that comforting scent. You almost fell asleep as you rocked gently in his arms with every step he took.
Suddenly, he stopped. You looked around. You were close to the exit. You turned your gaze to him, finding his eyes already staring at you.
"Alina is waiting for you on the other side. I believe some of the crows are there too." he was about to pull you to your feet, but you stopped him by gripping his arm tightly.
"Wait." your mouth said before your brain could process what you wanted to say. He stared at you expectantly, waiting for your next move. "Please, Aleksander. Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Please don't make me choose I... I love you. I've loved you since you taught me about the constellation, since the first night you helped me with my Ketterdam's nightmares, since the first time I saw you, using the cut to save me and Alina I... I don't know how, but... I... I can't lose you. Please, Aleksander." you fell apart. Entirely. You released all your suppressed emotions, crying into his kefta, little knowing that he was fighting back his own tears.
"And what do you want me to do, milaya? I've spent ages getting to this point."
"And will you be truly happy? Is it all really worth it, Aleksander? Will you be jubilant when you enlarge the fold?" he sighed, resting his forehead against yours. You closed your eyes, listening to your rapid breathing.
"You can't just come to me, make a puppy-kicked face, say for the first time you love me, and expect me to change my hundred-year-old plans." you nudged his nose with yours, making him open his eyes to face your tearful ones, red from crying.
"Aleksander... please." you saw it. The battle that was going on inside him and the same willingness to give in to his desires and your desires to be together. And you prayed to all the saints to change his mind.
"If I do it, I'm never going to hear the end of it from my mother. You know that?"
"If it's any consolation, I promise I'll be there for you when she mocks us."
"You better do it, my little saint." he murmured, kissing your forehead as he resumed his march towards the exit of the fold.
You couldn't believe your luck. Aleksander chose you. Over his plans. You became the first and most important thing in his life.
If it was just a dream, you never wanted to wake up from it.
Despite the gravity of the situation—getting out of the fold in Aleksander's arms—you couldn't help but snort quietly into his kefta when you saw the shocked and terrified faces of your friends. The Darkling carried the moon summoner out of the fold. The most unlikely thing to see on a Monday morning.
Aleksander approached them slowly. He took his cloak off your legs and spread it on the ground, laying you on the black material. He stood next to you, making sure you were comfortable beforehand, and cleared his throat awkwardly.
You had to see the positives in this situation. At least no one had gone after him with a gun yet.
"Miss Zenik, could you look at her leg, please?" his question snapped the woman out of her stupor. She walked uncertainly over to the two of you and began to heal your wound, giving you an incredulous look.
Aleksander stood next to you, not caring more than usual about the surprised and terrified looks the others were throwing at him. Of course, Baghra spoke first.
"You're more stupid than I thought."
"Which one?" you asked for Aleksander, whom she looked at confusedly. You don't think either of them expected him to just stand by your side like that.
"You for falling so easily for him and him for letting himself be wrapped around your finger."
"Well, it's a very beautiful and powerful finger, mother." the crows' jaws dropped in surprise at this new revelation, and you rolled your eyes at the obvious malice from the now very amused Aleksander.
"I'm guessing you're not going to fight us? Will you help us or are you going to betray us, and is this another of your plans?" Alina stood in front of the group, eyeing him warily.
"I'm here for some reason. Definitely not betraying, Alina."
"Which is?" Kaz stood beside Alina, shooting the shadow summoner a hostile, distrustful look.
"My moonlight, Mr. Brekker." Aleksander reciprocated, giving him one of his darker looks. Yes, you forgot that these two can fight each other. Something will have to be done about this in the future...
"Okay, I'm done! We can move on to our plan before some jealous Western or something like this starts here." luckily, you had Nina to help you stop "the cockfight" for now.
Aleksander and Kaz rushed over to help you up. You grabbed each of them by the hand, and thanks to these two, you got to your feet. The men gave themselves furtive, hostile glances.
"Then let's go. It looks like the three of us are going to change the world together after all, Aleksander." Alina tried to defuse the tension and led you all towards the fold.
Aleksander didn't shy away from kissing you in front of Kaz before grabbing your hand and catching up with Alina, questioning her about the details of your plan.
Yes, you will definitely have to deal with these two later. But for now, the three of you were going to change the world...
"I love you too, my precious moonlight. More than you could ever know." he whispered in your ear moments before you destroyed the fold.
You didn't know what the future held for you, but you were sure of one thing.
Aleksander was supposed to keep you close to him through it all. And he will always be back for you.
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moireia · 1 year
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another fic i may never write  ↳ raisa karenin, heretics 🌑
Raisa Karenin could never really settle. She was never given the chance.
How could she when every year meant a new village to hide in? Every year meant a new name to learn. At all cost, she had to keep the secret close—one she was never to show and never to tell at the risk of her own life. The secret that her mother could read lies in heartbeats, that her father could mend wounds with a touch, that Raisa could make shadows dance. 
It was hard to make friends when anyone, even another child, could be a threat. When her family arrived at Ryveost, Raisa decided to make friends out of the flowers in the garden and the characters in her mother’s stories. Raisa created the Witch of Duva and Koja the Too-Clever Fox as shadow puppets to play with.
All these stories and all these lies were Raisa’s protection. They were the warnings that kept her safe. They were the lessons she faithfully followed even after her father was lost to the sea. Even after her mother died.
Then, after Ryevost, there was Keramzin.
Even in the loss of all that she knew, there was something to be gained. Keramzin gave her Alina and Mal—her first true friends, the three of them drawn together almost inexplicably. Perhaps it was pity for the new orphan, quiet and a little strange. Perhaps it was sympathy, knowing too well the cruelty of the others who saw you as different. Nevertheless, Alina and Mal were kind when Raisa needed it most.
At sixteen they were drafted into the First Army. It took them on different paths but they found ways to stay in touch. While Mal tracked in the woods and Alina held onto a pen, Raisa took up a rifle and became a sniper. An efficient soldier who took dangerous missions and rose quickly in rank—anything she could do to avoid the Fold. Her father had many theories about what would happen if Raisa entered the Unsea. Would it respond to her? Would the volcra hunt her, seeking shadow summoner blood even from a different line than their despised creator? Would she pass untouched? Madraya argued the risk was too great to ever try.
But then Mal is ordered to cross the Fold. Alina sets a fire and damns herself to stay with him. What choice does Raisa have but to follow? Her mother’s voice echoes in her mind as Raisa steals a cartography uniform and sneaks aboard the Skiff.
For the first time, Raisa ignores the warnings. She cannot leave her dearest friends to the darkness of the Unsea. She would follow them anywhere—even if it means risking discovery.
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caprese-cathedral · 5 hours
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alina daydreaming :)
(also last drawing in backlog yippee)
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raparopa · 1 year
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a/n: @mischiefmanaged71 @crazyhorseforgot
warnings: Language, Squaller!OC
pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x OC!Dasha Romanov
summary: There is clearly an understatement between Nikolai and his childhood friend. But who knew that things could get even worse when the sun shines on the horizon?
gold and silver
part one. about meetings
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I looked at the stars. Silver jewels scattered over the blue velvet of the night sky - this was the sky above the sea, in which I spent almost all my time. And yet, accepting Nikolai's invitation was one of the best decisions of my life.
I have found a new family. Tolya and Tamar turned out to be some of the most incredible people I have ever met. Such a connection was for me...not new... The fact is that I myself experience such a connection, the only thing I do not know for one hundred percent is whether it is mutual.
During the time spent side by side on the ship, next to Sturmhond, I realized that I love Nikolai. And every day this feeling only intensified. I looked at him and tried to figure out if his feelings were similar to mine, or if Nikolai was acting like a little stinging fox as usual. But there was something in his actions, looks, words that made me suspect that we had a good chance.
We became much closer than in our youth, we were two parts of one whole, we were those who cannot live without each other. We never said anything that could indicate our feelings for each other. I don't know if it was necessary at this time? I did not want to destroy that wonderful peace between me and Nikolai, which we have been building and restoring for many years, and now we support it.
Each time, Tamar said with a cheerful smile how Nikolai's heart was beating, as soon as he thought of me. But how was I to know if she was joking or not? You can't tell these twins.
A cool sea breeze blew into my face. I smiled, twisting it with my fingers into a small whirlwind and letting it float through the water. But from the other side of the ship there were conversations. And several voices were clearly unfamiliar to me. I frowned and pushed off the deck with my hands, striding confidently there to understand what was happening. I don’t know what was going on, but my gut told me that something was going on that I obviously didn’t like. Because of this, the wind increased, rose, crashing into the sails.
I went to the other side of the deck and saw Tolya, Tamar and two strangers at the gangway. One of them was a tall, strong guy, next to him was a short girl with long, black hair. They talked about something very tensely.
-What's going on?-I shouted to be heard. All pairs of eyes immediately stared at me and at my menacing face.
-Dasha!- Tolya greeted joyfully, waving his hand to me. -We have unexpected passengers here,-he pointed to a couple of strangers.
-Yes, they want to charter our ship,- Tamar continued, showing me a gold hairpin that sparkled in the moonlight. -We need to take them to the captain. How is he? In what mood? - She smiled strangely at me.
I was embarrassed, but did not show it, only raising my eyebrows.
-As usual, in good health,-I said, folding my arms over my chest and carefully looking at the strangers. -Good, -I nodded. -Tolya?
He nodded to me.
-Take them to the captain.
It seemed to me that the issue was resolved, but then soldiers of the First Army appeared from the darkness.
-You! Stop!- the old man in military uniform croaked.
- Do you want a fight? Huh?-Tamar said menacingly, pulling out her axe.
-This man is a deserter, he must be with us!- the old man continued.
-Is that so?- Tamar continued caustically. I rolled my eyes, rubbing the bridge of my nose. -They want a fight!- she roared, causing everyone who was carrying bags on deck to grab their weapons.
-Oh, Saints, help me...- I said to myself, mentally dreaming how I would conduct a conversation with them, and how I would ask Nikolai to give them a couple of diplomacy lessons.
-I don't want to aggravate the conflict with Shu Han...
It was a mistake. Mistake old man in uniform. Tolya took up the sword.
-We are not Shu Han,-Yul-Bataar said, approaching his sister. -We are on our own.
-Save your bullets for the war, and tell your soldiers to know their place.- I barked belligerently, stepping onto the gangplank. I was rather tired of this situation, and I wanted to exhale as soon as possible and calmly sail away. Both my words and my old caftan, with which I did not dare to part after the Second Army, were clearly a weighty argument. Ravka's soldiers retreated.
Strangers boarded.
They looked rumpled, but they were very smart. I slowly examined them from head to toe, trying to isolate at least something that could help me find out more information about them, but I did not find anything strange or unusual.
-We’ll go to the captain,- I said slowly and low, when Tolya and Tamar appeared behind me. - He will give his final verdict.
The guy jerked his shoulder in annoyance, glaring at me angrily, but I didn't care.
-Let's go. -I passed by, heading straight into the hall to Nikolai.
I physically felt the tension that was in the air. No one dared to utter a word, I think the twins and I looked menacing, so the strangers were silent.
Nobody ever tried to charter our ship, it was the first time, but it was...interesting.
We approached the doors when Tolya opened them.
-Captain,- he turned to Nikolai, going inside. -They want to charter our ship.
- And immediately. - Some unprecedented courage suddenly woke up in the boy. We were also in the room.
-We need to sail now!- the girl also flushed, stubbornly following her companion.
Nikolai chuckled.
-Let's get two things straight,- he braced his hands on the table. -I'm not given orders on my own ship.- His face immediately became tense.
It was always amazing how he switched from one state to another so quickly.
- And we're already sailing. Glad you joined. And now, maybe add some light to the cabin, - I frowned, not understanding what he was talking about. - Since you, Alina Starkov. Saint on twenty million kruge.
These words hung in the air like a thick fog. My face stretched in surprise, I felt something rising in my stomach. That was the last thing I expected to hear tonight, I would have been prepared for anything but this. I looked first at Alina, then at her companion, and in the end my eyes fixed on Nikolai, as if demanding an answer from him.
How did he know? How does he know the price for this girl? Why didn't he say anything to me... That is, to us.
Lantsov quickly shot his eyes in my direction, and again turned to the newcomers. He pulled a revolver out of its holster and placed it meaningfully on the table.
-Alive or dead.- His voice became low and almost menacing as she looked at Alina.
What the hell...
-It’s silly to play up, Starkov, you are a Sun Summoner,-Nikolai continued.
In surprise, I even had to lean my hand against the wall as thoughts raced feverishly through my aching head. I looked at Tolya, but judging by his expression, he was also, to put it mildly, shocked. We both stood with him, behind Alina Starkov's back, like fools, the only ones who didn't understand what the hell was going on.
-Yes, you are right,- Alina threw belligerently, throwing up her hands, from which light immediately escaped.
Nikolai whistled.
-Not bad,- he shook his head, with a meaningful smile. - I'm hard to impress.
But Sun Summoner clearly did not share Nikolai's fun.
-Let us go,- she hissed, -Or lose twenty million kruge and the ship. Her threats looked a little funny. No matter how saintly Alina was, she did not seem to me an experienced fighter, rather a chaotic bundle of energy.
The light burned in Alina's hands, like a real, living flame of light. I myself did not understand how I took a step forward, how my fingers froze in signs that they could summon a hurricane. But I was gently pulled by the shoulder.
-Don’t, Dasha,- Tolya whispered to me. -Don’t jump to conclusions, Romanov. We can always get into a fight. Where is your diplomacy?
I glared at him, reluctantly admitting that he was right.
-Let you,- Nikolai got up from his chair at the table. -You can sentence us to death in the sea desert,- he went to the table, pouring some amber alcohol into a crystal glass. - Please note that we are already far from the shore. Besides, I won't hand you over to the Fjordans.
-Really? -Alina immediately stopped releasing light from her palms.
-Yes, Saints forbid,- Nikolai simply threw, realizing in a moment that he had blurted out. -Or is it indecent to say this in front of a living saint?- He turned to me in a rhetorical question. I tilted my head, pursing my lips.
They continued talking, but the words slipped past me. The only thing I heard was Nikolai's cute tone when he spoke to Alina. I still tried furiously to grab at least one word of their conversation, but I couldn't. For some reason, I felt betrayed. Did Nikolai not trust me so much that he could not devote to his ingenious plan to "capture" the Sun Summoner? Am I not the kind of person he can share everything with? He knows that I will always be by his side.
I looked at Nicholai. I felt offended. I felt selfish. Why was my chest so empty? Why, as soon as Alina Starkov stepped on board, did it hurt so much?
Maybe I did something wrong, since Nikolai no longer trusts me? Did I say something that made him doubt me?
Someone touched my shoulder, and only then did I wake up.
Tolya looked at me with regret, nodding in the direction of the exit. Of course, damn it, he heard my heart. I quickly gathered myself together, gave him a forced smile and nodded, following him and our "guests" to show them their sleeping quarters.
-No, no, no,- we were all immediately interrupted by the voice of Nikolai. We turned to look at him at once. - You, - he pointed to me. - Dasha, stay for a minute. -he asked, trying not to smile.
Tolya smiled slyly at me and led the passengers out of the cabin. I carefully closed the door, turning to look at him.
- Nikolai. - I said evenly, straightening my back, and folding my hands behind my back, raising my eyes with an effort to look at him...
He finally allowed himself a wide smile as he walked up to me, taking my hand and leading me forward through the cabin.
- Nikolai, if you want to talk, then speak. - Sharper than you wanted, I said.
-What's the matter?- he asked softly, his blue eyes sparkling charmingly, the way he always did when he wanted to get something.
I exhaled heavily, disengaging from his grip and rubbing my wrists.
This gesture obviously did not please him. He stopped smiling.
- Dasha, what happened? Any problems?
I looked at him from under my brows.
-Well,- I began hard. -Tell me, Nikolai, do you trust me?- I decided to come from afar.
He opened his eyes in surprise.
-Of course I trust you. More than anyone, you know it дорогая. Ever since you didn't tell your nanny my name as a kid when she asked about the stolen cakes. -he said, grabbing my hand again. Those words made me smile faintly.
-Remember that?- he chuckled. -I remember well how you…
-...Saved your ass for the first time? Yes, such things are not forgotten, Nikolai. - I continued for him, forcing the prince to roll his eyes jokingly. -But... It's different. Why didn't you tell me about Alina Starkov? - I finally asked. -Do you think, - I swallowed a lump in my throat from the weight of my own words. - Do you think that I cannot help you? It was possible to devote, at least in general, to your incredible plan. - I turned up my nose.
Nicholai sighed softly.
-Everything had to be as natural as possible. No one should have suspected anything, Alina Starkov in particular. No, of course, I don’t doubt your acting skills, Romanov, but I already walked on the edge of a knife.- He said as his hands let go of my palms, gently wrapping around my waist. - I didn't know it would hurt you so much. I didn't think about your feelings, my mistake.
He shook her head. - Excuse me. - He looked into my eyes, and some mischievous sparks sparkled in his eyes. - Can you forgive me?- he smiled.
I closed my eyes.
-Promise to continue to share such things with me, Nikolai.- I asked quietly, blowing off the hair that had fallen on my face.
-I promise if you let me offer you a worthy apology. -He ran his fingers along my cheek.
Saints. Are my assumptions correct? Could it be that the connection I felt was shared by Nikolai?
-Watching what you mean? -Oh, dear Nikolai, don't think that I'll give you up so easily. - Everyone can say big words.
If I don't drive you crazy, Nikolai Lantsov, no one can do it.
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aemondseyepatch · 11 months
Video
Robb Stark x Alina Starkov/OC (crossover) | Out of the Woods
inspired by @toilandtroubled ’s robb x oc gifs
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