#alhamdulilah for that time of my life which I’ll never get back | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

freedom-fighter · 1 year

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day 115 - 1st march 2023

I am so Happy, so Grateful, blessed and so in Love with:

48) BIRTHDAY MONTH on turning 34 !!!!

47) For having resilience and never give up attitude despite everything

46) For the ups and downs that I face and that the Al-Mighty chose me to go through this trial.

45) Slowly going back into the routine of 3-4x of workouts !

44) To have good sleep and going subur at masjid once a weekly for now

43) Planning & execution of having a sustainable work routine for 2023 innshaaAllah yet having time for family.

42) As for point mentioned, it will be ungrateful of me if I dont put my best foot forward for the mercy, rizq and love Allah has shown us.

May Allah make it easy for me to develop the ilm, skillsets and habits to be the best version of myself. AMIN YA rabbi al amin.

41) For all the abundance reqzi Allah has bestowed us despite my shortcomings, one for the record, Wealth, health, even the greying hair is Rizq from Allah. Some scholars translate Rizq as ‘sustenance’, ‘provision’ and some call it ‘blessings’. It can also be seen as something that brings benefit or that which repels harm. Given that, it is quite difficult to encapsulate the meaning of Rizq in a single translation because Rizq is sustenance, provision, blessings and more. إِنَّ اللَّهَ هُوَ الرَّزَّاقُ ذُو الْقُوَّةِ الْمَتِينُ

“Indeed, it is Allah who is the (continual) Provider, the firm possessor of strength.”

(Surah Adh-Dhariyat, 51:58)

وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَهُوَ خَيْرُ الرَّازِقِينَ

And indeed, it is Allah who is the best of providers

(Surah Al-Hajj, 22:58) "The concept of rizq is so beautiful. Even when you eat a piece of fruit, it was always written for you. From the moment it grew from a tree, it went through all these people and travelled all this way until it was in your hands. It was always meant to be yours."

ثم يرسل إليه الملك فينفخ فيه الروح، ويؤمر بأربع كلماتٍ: بكَتْبِ رزقه وأجله وعمله، وشقي أو سعيدٌ

“Then (Allah) sends to it an angel who is tasked to breathe soul into it. (The angel) is then commanded to write down four matters: the writing of the (developing child’s) rizq (sustenance), his life span, his actions, and whether he will be truly happy or miserable”

(Sahih Bukhari & Muslim)

From the mentioned hadith, we understand that Rizq, as with everything else in life, has been predetermined by Allah s.w.t.

40) The adventures, joys, ups, downs, journey, lessons, people and family in the last year and we look forward for a better year of abudance innshaaAllah. May we grow closer as a family, amin!

39) Aish, for being our bundle of joy and just teaching and reminding me all the little joys of life as your papa

38) thankful for 2022 business year of opportunities, wins, lessons my wife & my in laws feelings towards me.

37) Alhamdulilah, a good run of Umrah with family. did my best Ibadah to my best of ability. Could be better but I know myself. Maybe I should have been more discipline and harder on myself. :/

36 ) To be the dark horse at work. I know I can do it and I’ll do it to be the best version of myself. AMIN. Run your own race.

35) When you have Islam, you have everything in this dunya. What for if you have all the riches in the world but live a life miserable than a person who is poor. The peace, barakah & time are resources that you cant put a monetary value on.

34) IRAS & taxes. it’s always a good problem to have.

33) My kind loving inlaws & family. I always pray for their good health, wealth and for their prayers/duas to be accepted. May our upcoming umrah go smoothly innshaaAllah.

32) final burst of 8 weeks of 2022 before we call it a job well done, pat ourselves and get ready for a 2023!

31) My in laws, whom has always been wanting nothing but for us to be successful in our endeavours with the kind duas and encouragement all the time. <3

30) Abg Abu’s booster workshop, timely and such as inspiring man full of positive, energy and laughter. May Allah swt bless him with more success & barakah in the dunya and hereafter.

29) The montigo resorts for all the blessings and time spent and memories made as a family. It was indeed a much needed breath of fresh to f5 mind, body, soul and heart on what truly matters in life.

28) The long bus ride earlier with AMAZING lake view that I forgot existed in Singapore. It was so tranquil and peaceful.

27) Silver surfer presence and to owing something that I never thought possible. It makes the job and day2day so much convenient!

26) Despite everything, Allah still loves bountifully, he gives and provides in abundance for us.

25) To wake up, start the morning feeling good & strong despite having a late nighter and 1 sustainable morning routine !

with WSM taking over the role of CMO. syukur Alhamdulilah !!!!

Reconnected back with step and wan qi earlier

SERIES of closings, trust of clients and the abduance of clients coming from EVERYwhere ! With finaz and Nadz in the team. cant wait for them to blossom and make their $$$$!

The past one month has been exhilarating b2b appts, work. The flow is here and let’s finish 2022 with a BANG !!!

With the breathe that I was able to take today and the abundance opportunities that have presented and/or that will come along our path innshaaAllah. My success is only through Allah swt. Syukur alhamdulilah

BREAKTHROUGHS !!!! No meds and my mood has been excellent. Energy levels and drive has been 100. Working out and eliminating toxic habits is a game changer. I’m ready for the many more to come. Bismillah. Focus, Believe and Achieve !

results of 2nd qtr performance, a good wake up call. if you are not going to put the time to work, results won’t come. Breathe, focus and keep ongoing.

JOURNALING, it really puts your abundance blessings into place and whatever that was “lacking” seems so insignificant now. Syukur alhamdulilah!

BEACH ULTIMATE HAT 2022 AUG with loads of sun tanning !!!!

Our beautiful messenger of peace, Nabi Muhammad SAW, I cant wait to see, meet and witness his presence in my sleep. One can only imagine a life with his dazzling presence.

Allah, how everything falls into place at the right place and right time. Keep on moving forward, tie the camel, pray and Dua hard.

how bountiful rizq has been appearing from EVERWHERE and the good streak of leads and closing, Bismillah. Platinum for aug 2022 ! Even a good hobby and soccer match is rizq. syukur Alhamdulilah.

Precious family time, it gives me perspective and to slow down. As a husband, father and son. After all, what matters more than family?

Bubai and bubai’s mother for their time, effort, priceless advices, syafakillah to bubai and we will keep her in our kind duas innshaaAllah. Here’s to alll the caretakers out there !!!! xx

being uncomfortable and being in fear, it has taught me to breathe, slow down, keep on showing up and the world isn’t as scary you think it is. It will come when the time is right. I’ll doorknock my way to the top !

my mental state and how it has taught me to be resilient, grateful grit, and not to take the small things in life for granted

Being selected as to be born as a muslim in the end of times. It is my purpose of life and acts as a moral compass in my decision making.

Waking up and getting an opportunity to be better ME !

My REAL estate business. It gives me a fulfilling sense to actually come in and impact a family on so many levels. I am empowered and committed to touch as many lives as I can while contributing sadaqah jariyah with my work, knowledge and experience.

BROtor, same boat, comforting words, focus, assurance and keep moving forward. #believe and #nevergiveup!

Our tightly knitted family. They give loads of comfort and nothing beats coming home to a family that fills you with warmth, love and companionship

my lovely wife whom never fails to inspire me with her intellect, work ethics, opens my worldly perspectives. She gives me the best companionship, bff, spouse, wife, mother and ultimately, I will never forget that she is a prayer come true. I prayed for her when I was at my lowest, vulnerable and when I had almost nothing. She took me in graciously and showered me with TLC.

My foot injury, the importance of slowing down and watching our body as we age. The importance of strengthening and condition especially if we want play at the highest level of ultimate

My current fitness level and my dad bod. If anything, it will teach me the actual fruit of labour, the secret to success and limitless energy. The power of constant hardwork, focus and discipline cant be undermined!

Bismillah, Let’s go!!!

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rabbigfirlee · 5 years

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“Sometimes the most corrupt people are the ones who seem the most pious”

I can’t even seem to find the words to explain this because I’m overwhelmed with emotion. But I’ll try. Perhaps this may benefit someone in a similar situation or give another person the courage to speak up, as no one did for me.

Exactly a year ago, on this very day, my stalker came to an event I was hosting at my university. He sat in the audience watching me and I had immediately noticed him but I tried to ignore it while I was speaking. By the time the event ended, around 9 pm, I didn’t see him around so I felt a bit relieved and naively thought that it was safe for me to head home. While I was walking to my car, he cornered me in an isolated hallway. I remember the feeling of fear and confusion. And I vividly remember all the threats.

“I will make your life miserable”

“You don’t know what I can do”

“Do you think anyone will ever take your word over an Imam’s?”

“You’re a foolish little girl”

“Never underestimate someone who works for Allah”

And for what? Why? All because I didn’t return his advances. For five years this man, the Imam of my masjid, had been stalking me and harrassing me. And wallahi there was not even one instance in that five years where I had ever entertained him.

It started when I first moved here. On my very first day in the community, I remember he approached my mother and I and introduced himself which we didn’t find unusual. Then a few weeks later, I started getting random texts from an unknown # and I found out it was him. Somehow he had gotten my number and as soon as I realized it was him I instantly felt strange and would NEVER respond. This would make him angry and in return, he’d message things like “Why don’t you respond?” “Why don’t you like me?” This would happen repeatedly until I would finally respond with an “I’m sorry I’ve been very busy”.

I was 15 at the time and although I couldn’t understand why he would be texting me, I kept telling myself “He’s an Imam, you’re overthinking this!” He then started calling me late in the evening or messaging me during the school day asking if he could pick me up early and take me out. Again, I refused all of these advances but was left absolutely confused by his actions.

At the time, my father had to work across the country and we would only see him once every few months. I was living in a new town in a completely different state with my mother and younger siblings. Wallahi, so as to not burden or add any stress on my mother, I kept my doubts about this man to myself. I kept telling myself that I was mistaken and despite the fact that all of this didn’t make sense to me, that I needed to “make 70 excuses for him”. But again, I was only a naive 15 year old who had a very sheltered upbringing. I saw red flags but my naivety blinded me from the reality of what was going on.

Over the next four years, this man would text my friends while impersonating me (using a texting app), he would show up to places I was at, tell me how everyone in the community, including my friends at the masjid hated me, and just a number of other messed up things. He would tell me that someone did black magic on me and that a jinn was harassing me. I admit, I was naive for believing any of this but I could not understand why someone “of the deen” (as he called himself) would want to hurt me? Any time a brother approached me for marriage, he would intervene and would tell them absolute lies about me (which my parents were later informed of). And the list goes on. The point is, I kept quiet because I was unsure of whether I was overthinking or misinterpreting his actions because in my mind he was an “Imam” and would never do such things for the wrong reasons. Any time I expressed to him that I was feeling uncomfortable or didn’t want him to contact me, he would follow up with a “How dare you question me? Do you know who I am? Wallah, you are a fool. Wallah, you are crazy. Wallah, you will pay for trying to ruin my reputation.”

Other teens, both brothers and sisters, would notice how the Imam was treating me. Any time any of them tried to intervene, he would play the “Man of Deen” card. He would manipulate all of us using his authority and the religion to keep us quiet. He used to threaten some of the brothers my age by saying “I know what you did last night. I have a jinn who whispers things to me” anytime they tried to intervene.

For FIVE years this man harassed me. And after the night he showed up to my uni event, I finally decided to tell my parents. I finally realized that I wasn’t overthinking or ‘corrupt’ (as he would call me anytime I tried to question him). When I told my parents, Alhamdulilah they immediately believed me and decided to take things to the masjid. However, of course, the masjid could not act on my words alone and so they had to hear his side as well. In his true manipulative fashion, he said absolutely terrible things about me and my character. He slandered my name and said the worst of the worst things. He had the audacity to say that I came to him for help and that he was acting as an ‘elder brother’ looking out for me. He told people that I was suicidal (!) and wanted to run away with some guy who my parents wouldn’t allow me to marry (WALLAHI this is untrue). And he even spread the rumor that my father would beat me so I was afraid of him (‘which is why I was lying and trying to cover up the situation’ according to him). He knew exactly what to say to convince everyone that I was in the wrong and to save his face.

While all of this was going on, I felt so weak and oppressed. Yes, I had my parents but I felt that people of my community doubted my character and my integrity when I was innocent. It was my word again his. A little girl (though I was already 20 at the time) vs the well-respected Imam of our community. There were days were I could not stop crying and days I could not get myself to eat. I was so stressed and confused as to why this was happening. I was very involved with my masjid and had never given them a reason to doubt me, so why now, when I was coming with such a serious claim, did they turn their backs on me? I felt betrayed, angry, confused, but most importantly, oppressed. And throughout this time, I would make one particular duaa. “May Allah grant me justice against those who have oppressed me”.

There were times where I thought to myself “Maybe I shouldn’t have spoken up and just quietly dealt with his harassment on my own”. I didn’t want to create problems for my family or even for my community for that matter. But I swear by Allah, what got me through was the thought that ‘This could be happening to someone else, who is weaker or doesn’t have the support at home, or the ability to reject his advances. What if it’s an even younger girl? Or a revert?’. I kept telling myself that Allah has given me a voice to speak and a mind to think for those that can’t. It was my responsibility to speak the truth regardless of what other people thought of me, no matter how scared I was.

While all of this was happening, there was one sister who knew the complete truth about what was going on. She had all the evidence and was someone I had confided in for the previous five years. She was someone I considered my best friend and trusted with my life. And when the time came for her to present the evidence, she was too scared. While I won’t go into more detail, all I can say is that the person whom I would have given my life for, abandoned me and allowed for my name and reputation to be dragged through the mud, despite knowing of my innocence. She knew the truth, had evidence that could ‘save’ me yet she chose to keep silent. She was a witness to all the threats and injustices against me but instead, she hid the truth.

Despite all of this, when even the closest person to me had left me, Allah saved me. Wallahi, things got so bad to the point that I considered running away to escape the stress and trauma. I swear to you that Allah created a path for me where there was none. And not only that, but He granted me an outcome that I could have never imagined. Alhamdulilah. Alhamdulilah. Alhamdulilah. Allah granted me my justice and even more. Alhamdulilah.

I am sharing this in the hopes that even one of you may benefit from my story. It took five years, but Allah delivered on his promise and granted me ease. Allah answered my duaas and granted me justice against all of those who had oppressed me. I want you to know, if you’re losing faith, struggling, or in a situation that you feel has no solution, then know that Wallahi I felt the same way. I want you to hang in there and keep praying to Allah because I promise to you, He is listening and that after your hardship there will be ease. I have witnessed it myself. May Allah ease all of your worries, struggles, and sadness. May He replace it with His mercy, blessings, and all that is good in this world and the next. Ameen.

The last thing I want to stress is that it is your duty to speak the truth even when it is difficult for you. Someone may suffer the consequences of your selfishness/negligence in a matter as serious as this. As long as you are doing what is right, have no fear for Allah is with you. And even if the whole world were to gather together in order to harm you, they would not be able to if Allah is with you.

#I know this is very long but something in me told me to finally share this #I have left out many of the details as some of them are even too difficult for me to speak about #Ive had this saved in drafts for a fews but ufff Im finally posting it ufff #I hope iA someone benefits from this

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eerienature · 5 years

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Now it's my turn🙈💚 1, 2, 8, 11, 13, 15, 20, 21, 24, 27, 30, 37, 42, 56, 57 and 59 sorry that this is late🙈💙

ayyyyyyy my guy! ❤️

1) selfie

ditto so I’ll dm you em! x

2) what would you name your future kids?:

so i’ve always liked the name layla because i really admire the beauty of a night sky but then it literally means sheep in aapni zerbaan so ye lol; i think the name marina is pretty too like the whole nature element, i liked marwa as well till my sister said it sounds like ‘marijuana’ which just ruined it for me totally lol; yusuf is a nice one, you know because of his whole story which i just find really moving and im sure i had some more prophet names which i really like but none of em spring to mind at the mo

8) have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

yesssss so the other day i was dress rehearsing for an interview (pray i get the job! x) and none of my smart-wear would fit so i just angry cried it out; i have bipolar as well and before i was on the right meds i’d do that daily but now i seem to be doing a lot better alhamdulilah

11) are you listening to music right now?

astaghfirullah sister skskskk but naa i stopped listening to music about a year ago i feel like it just dragged me down might just be me but like even the uplifting stuff has melancholic vibes to it

13) how do you feel right now?

so like i think i missed my meds this morning and at round 7pm i got this really intense agitation where my mood randomly switched within the space of like an hour and i got angry that i was angry but now that im home and talking to you i feel a lot better - I was really on one earlier on in the day when we were messaging tho bc i was like ‘OMG IVE FOUND A NEW FRENNNNN’ which is a huge positive for me!

15) personality description

aaaaaaa i could go on forever, hope you enjoy the cv! so im a really perceptive person - i have a strong insight into my own situations and mindset as well as those of others (a positive side to mental illness i think, like the whole self awareness aspect) i’ve been told im ‘compelling’ which is an incredible personality trait to have! i have a mad sense of humour, talkative, very outgoing, very extroverted and i love a good bit of banter with the right people, love meeting new people and hearing their perspectives too. I’m very intellectual, i love discussions and acquiring knowledge and anything which makes you think or reevaluate your current opinions! but ya im really proud of my identity purely bc i genuinely didnt think i’d make it past 16 (suicidal depression, self harm, mad mania, abuse, overdoses, etc) but like alhamdulilah here i am and i think its my perseverance and my relationship w god which i really admire - im really proud of who i’ve become! (but i mean theyre trying to stamp a personaity disorder diagnosis onto me so i guess i could be chatting bubbles and all this could be totally subjective *x files theme toon plays*)

20) what is your favourite song at the moment?

i mean i hear the odd bop over the radio every now n then n the ‘JUST BC ITS OVER DOESNT MEAN ITS REALLY OVER N IF I THINK IT OVER MAYBE YOU’LL BE COMING OVER AGAINNNN’ song just really seems to get me

21) age and birthday?

ahh see i feel like an old granny ting now compared to you! i’m 20 and my birthdays the 5th of april so i guess we’re both april babies!

24) height

5′2 but i dont look as short as i sound i swear lol

27) things i hate

im no longer a hateful person like even the people i hate i pray for but bidah has got to be #1 without a single doubt, aside from that its all the usual stuff such as bigots, nonces, etc

30) favourite tv shows

mostly stuff on netflix like at the moment im watching ‘sacred games’ and ive never been into the whole bollywood vibe but i swear ive been missing out like! peaky blinders is amazing and tommy is beautiful i dont care if hes my dads age, bedlam was incredible, period dramas like victoria n bbcs les mis are really good, you should check out this is england, shameless, dark and NSU: german history they are mint; i love a good documentary as well

37) favourite actor/actress

angelina jolie i think! like i have an entire hashtag dedicated to her so ya i guess shes the one!

42) favourite books

kite runner and a thousand splendid suns (defo recommend them both yasmin esp tss - if you ever do read it give us a shout and ill send you the coursework i did for it in Alevel!)

56) favourite food

ben and jerries along with cookie dough are my absolute weaknesses but im inshlla cutting down on sugar so we’ll see if anything changes w those ones!

57) favourite animals

cats for sure! mines called marno shes now 5 alhamdulilah and she is my life n soul - i like dogs but they get over excited way to easily which startles me a bit esp as im v spaced out a lot of the time so a dog tryna hug me is like arghh wyd but i mean i admire their intentions lol that n the fact theyre najis is also bit of a problem for me (whups)

59) why i joined tumblr

so i think i came across tumblr on a random google search n i figured it’d be a good form of self expression n a good emotional outlet esp as i was in a v v bad mind-space at the time so i felt i needed something to call my own which eventually became my lil blog - but ye if you go allllllll the way back to my old reblogs its literally just those black and white depression posts and gifs which is actually really upsetting to me; like although im no longer in that place anymore tumblr continues to be a very good therapeutic outlet so im v grateful for that ❤️

and thats all! thanks for reading this far b and feel free to ask me any other questions, i enjoy answering them! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

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kharmainex · 6 years

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The Closure

So how do I put this into words?

I wouldn’t say I was shattered, or heartbroken. Probably the right word would be, terkilan. A direct translation of this in English would be “disappointed”. But then I wouldn’t say I was disappointed either. I was probably just numb by what happened. Or just in awe of what happened.

OK, I guess you’re probably trying to figure out what happened. Well this happened.

It was my sister’s birthday weekend, and we decided after a long time deciding, that we should do a quick getaway to AVANI Sepang since it was the closest place to home and it didn’t require much traveling. So we got there early afternoon to celebrate my sister’s birthday at their buffet restaurant. Things didn’t go as planned in the end because my sister didn’t turn up till after the buffet lunch was over. But anyways, she did turn up and we did have a cake cutting session at the restaurant. So after that, we checked in, had a nap and said that we’d meet up just a little after Maghrib to go for dinner at the Bagan Lalang restaurant our mother usually takes us to. So it was a little after Maghrib and none of us actually left yet. Some of us were still showering, and some of us were just about to get ready. So we left quite late from the hotel and got to the restaurant around 8.30pm. Which was half an hour late from our reservation. We lost our table and so had to wait for the next available one. So whilst waiting at the waiting area, I was looking around casually, and then BOOM..guess what?. I saw the imbecile K! Yes, “Man of the year” and “Imbecile of the year.” Why is he both things this year? Well. Let me take you to the year before.

It was December 2017 and after a long time not hearing from K, after several tries to reach out to him and apologise for what I think I did wrong, he called me and tried to make amends with me. He did in the end, and the ball was rolling pretty fast from there. He said he wanted to meet my Mum and was already planning our future. At the back of my head I thought, Alhamdulilah, it’s finally happening. 2018, is the year I’m finally getting married. At the same time, I told myself to keep my guards up, to try and act NORMAL and not get too excited especially after the whirlwind of events I went through before he came back. We were doing so well, despite me being a little cold to him sometimes (like I said, I needed to keep my guards up, for my own good). Anyhow, he said he was coming down from Penang to Putrajaya to attend his friend’s wedding and he wanted to meet up after. So I was like, great! Alhamdulilah, we’re finally doing this. I’m so happy to finally be in a position where I think everything is going to be fine and finally I have found the one!

So the day we met came, I felt butterflies in my stomach. I was waiting, and waiting and waiting. He promised to come at 10 but in the end came almost close to 11pm. It was OK, I let it slide this time. So he picked me up at my place and we went for ice cream. We talked as if we never fought 12 months ago and it was going so well. We sat at Perbadanan and talked about his friends and their problems. Didn’t notice till after the date that we didn’t actually discuss about us. Although we did when he drove me home and I asked if we could talk about us for a while. I don’t want to mention here what we talked about because it was very personal to me.

The next day and he was going back to Penang so he texted me and we got talking. I told him to have breakfast before he left to which he said “ I don’t think I’ll go if there’s no one to accompany me”. And to which I replied, “Ah I see, OK”. I didn’t think it was bad of an answer, because boys want us to be direct, right? He replied “OK”. So I thought things were OK. But apparently, they weren’t.

It was also my brother in law’s birthday that day so I was a little tied up with things and didn’t message him. I decided to call him in the evening instead at 10pm. He didn’t pick up the phone. Texted him, didn’t reply. OK maybe he’s sleeping so I figured I’d let him rest. This imbecile didn’t reply for 2 weeks maybe? I was trying to figure out why he was sulking but then I thought I’d just let him do his thing. So a day before Christmas, or maybe boxing day he called me. Laid the whole reason as to why he never called or replied me. And wow, the one text I sent that day became the main reason he was avoiding me. He said in Malay “how do you feel when someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with treats you like this?” and all about how I was being inconsiderate and what not. I did not believe he just threw everything away just for that one thing I didn’t do. Which was not accompany him for breakfast. For heaven’s sake, I thought women were this sulky. Turns out men are just the same, if not worse. Anyway, he ended the conversation with the fact that he’ll speak to me when he’s less mad because I wouldn’t want to speak to him when he’s mad, because apparently, he’s not himself when he’s mad. So OK. I let it slide.

Then the days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and he never called or texted. I was a little upset by his behavior, but then I thought, you know what. I’m just going to get rid of this imbecile. So I did. Well I tried at least. It wasn’t easy, I always waited for the 10-10.30pm evenings when he would usually call.

I started to properly let go of him when I left for my hiking trip in KK. I met new people and figured, there’s so many people out there who I can meet and end up with instead of this imbecile. Now, let me take you back to the present.

So I saw the imbecile. And tadaa, he was with another woman. Not sitting in front of him, but sitting beside him. Bravo to you imbecile. Played the game very well indeed. He saw me, I saw him and I could tell he wasn’t too happy I was there. I probably ruined his date. I think I did, when I told my whole family about it and everyone tried passing by his table to give him the dirty look. Hahaha, thank God for family! They’re the best supporters you could ask for. Especially when someone as pathetic as the imbecile mistreats their family member.

I was pretty sure it was him, because I just know. I made my sister follow him and the mystery woman to the car, just to be sure it was him. And it turned out to be pretty much his ugly Jazz car with that Penang plate. To make things more dramatic, when we got back to the hotel, we saw his car again, parked up outside our hotel..Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in. So we knew where he was staying too! And this was him telling me that I only look to stay at expensive places, when clearly, he was staying at AVANI. Sure, definitely not an expensive hotel. After this whole fiasco, I thought he’d say sorry or at least say I saw you and I wanted to speak to you, but no, nada. Alhamdulilah, Allah didn’t make me dwell on it too much. I had a really great support system to help me through the night and I was staying at Avani. I didn’t want to ruin it, so I just dropped it. I thank Allah so much for giving me the closure I needed. Because I did ask for it, and I’m so thankful He gave it at that time. Definitely the right time, Alhamdulilah.

So there you go, the closure I received a week after my hike in KK. It was just what I needed to move on. Alhamdulilah.

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itsalonelyroadahead · 7 years

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Canada, New Year’s, Life.

Hey there! Been over three weeks since I’ve updated on this thing. I actually got a lot to say - brace yourself for quite a lengthy post!

So, before Christmas, I was in a bad place. I was feeling incredibly miserable and I don’t know, I really wasn’t doing so well. This has been the case for a few months now and I was definitely close to rock bottom in the first half or so of December. However, I’m doing so much better now! Going to Canada for a week plays a pretty big role in this because it was like a serious soul cleanse or something. I had a lot of time to think and reflect on the 10 hour drive up to Toronto and I’m honestly so grateful. I desperately needed a change of environment and craved a getaway. Being away from everyone and everything, along with my lack of phone service really helped me live in the moment. I don’t know but all that reflecting on the drive there just made something in me changed. My entire outlook on life just altered, just like that! I genuinely felt content. I was surrounded by family and cold ass weather majority of the time but most nights I kept to myself, accompanied by Netflix of course. I enjoyed my solitude without feeling lonely or even alone like I usually do. My mind wasn’t racing like it usually was, in fact, I wasn’t having any negative thoughts at all. My imaan was also doing well because I was praying five times a day which is something I haven’t done in ages. Majority of the time I was relaxing and eating and napping - something I needed to do after a stressful month due to finals and such. I was even off from work! It was super relaxing, felt like a vacation. The trip honestly helped me so much and was the perfect way to end 2016. My cousins and I celebrated NYE at Nathan Philips Square where we ate poutine and danced our frozen asses off until the clock hit midnight and the fireworks went off welcoming 2017. Got home at 2am and I was exhausted. I was truly living in the moment and it absolutely amazing. I felt so alive after so long. I’m so grateful for this trip cause it really helped me get back on my feet and honestly made me feel better. I’m starting 2017 off with a brand new attitude and outlook on life and I’m going to make this MY year. I say this every year but really, I know I can do it, especially with God by my side. I now know that no matter how many times depression will make me relapse, I’ll always fight it until I’m better again. That’s all that matters, that whenever I fall down, I always get back up. Life’s full of ups and downs, literally, and I know I’ll be okay!

On Monday I went to Moxie Raia’s meetup in the city and had lots of fun. Moxie is this lowkey singer, well, she’s not that lowkey since she opened for Justin Bieber for the North American leg of Purpose Tour. She is actually the sweetest person ever like honestly, I love her. I’m so glad I went because I enjoyed my day so much. I hugged her so much and she ordered us all food and paid for everything...like what??? Ugh such a nice, good soul. She told us all about being on tour with Justin and Post Malone, growing up and traveling from a young age and her passion for music. She also told us about the people she worked with like she recorded a demo with freaking Chance the Rapper, how fucking cool! There were about 20 girls maybe and most of us were Justin stans and we learned soooo many new things about Justin that we never knew, which was super cool. It was so nice like it was as if we were all best friends with Moxie and we literally spent three hours with her. I love being a fangirl and moments like this make my heart feel so happy and makes me feel like I belong.

My phone randomly died the other day so I ended up buying the iPhone 7 yesterday lol. It’s pretty nice, still getting used to the new features. Today I was the 7th wheel on a triple date...LOL. Majority of my best friends have boyfriends and they really wanted me to come along so I went. I brought my mini cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber with me as my date, it was so funny to see my friends reaction because they literally thought I was bringing a real person! Ah, I love myself. Honestly, it went well. Usually I would feel very upset or like sad because I didn’t have a person but I don’t know, I didn’t this time. I didn’t feel lonely, maybe because I tried to not focus on that? I don’t know but it’s okay. I’ve been good, like Alhamdulilah. I’ve been so good lately. InshAllah it stays this way! Until next time, Maisha

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freedom-fighter · 1 year

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day 0 - First ever solo Eid Mubarak 1444

I am so Happy, so Grateful, blessed and so in Love with: 52) A reasonable run of ramadhan ! 51) Clarity, peace and tranquility of mind and soul today

50) For the sale of rvr to complete smoothly 49) Doing the Eid prayers solo