#alex kerner imagine

[bruhlsbees]

i'm going in tonight || modern!alex kerner x fem!reader

summary: you end up at the club while your friend is on a date and find yourself company with alex - one thing leads to another and the two of you end up in a stall in the bathroom.

pairing: modern!alex kerner x fem!reader

warnings: public sex, club bathroom sex, nsfw, 18+, minors dni

word count: 2787

a/n: based on starboi3 and doja cat's song 'dick' (idk y'all this song got me freaky and thinkin of modern!alex) - probably bad smut writing i'm still new at this shit

The heavy bass of the band playing on stage vibrated the club’s main sitting room - drinks left on the bar spilling as the weak plastic cups bounced and tipped, spilling along the counter and onto laps. Those who lost their poor drinks to the obnoxious bass erupted in yelps that led to laughing, dollars slapping on the counter for refills as the bartender frantically filled cups up.

To say you were bored was an understatement, you were completely displeased with the idea of sitting in the club on a Saturday night with a lame band playing, all because your friend wanted to meet with a guy and didn’t want to go alone. There were promises of a friend being there for you to talk with, but you weren’t thrilled with that. It had been over an hour and there were no signs of this ‘friend’.

Watching your friend from the barstool, laughing and grinding up on the guy she met up with, you could only roll your eyes and toss your head back, downing your drink before swiveling the stool around, holding up a couple bills for your next drink. The one thing you could admit you were enjoying was the discounted drinks - whether they were bad or not.

When the brown drink slid in front of you, you yelled a thanks to the bartender, hoping he would hear you over the music before taking a swig, wincing at the burn before setting the cup back down, leaning over to dig into your back pocket for the carton of cigarettes you brought along with you. Cracking open the carton, you pulled one out and set the carton in front of you before lighting the smoke, taking a long inhale before tilting your head back, exhaling the smoke up above you.

You knew it was going to be a long night, you wouldn’t doubt it if your friend kept you all night with her until the very end when she would tell you at the last minute that she would be going home with him...it wouldn’t have been the first time. Although sometimes you couldn’t blame her, it wasn’t like she was doing this all on purpose - you’d rather be bored and with her in case something happens than at home and the worst unfolds.

Nonetheless, you could only hope that the night would end soon.

While you silently prayed, it seemed like none were answered. One drink became two and soon you found yourself four drinks in, buzzed and groaning over the loud music. You had smoked more cigarettes than you would have liked, but at least you were having a semi-good time.

You were shocked though that no creep had bothered you all night. It wasn’t common to be in the 21st century and not have someone try and hit on you at least once at a club. Perhaps it was your demeanour you could thank for that. Or maybe you were being creeped on, and you just hadn’t noticed because you were too busy in your own thoughts.

The figure at the end of the bar shifted, catching your attention out of the corner of your eye as they made their way closer towards you, sliding onto the stool besides you. Letting out an annoyed sigh, you blew out the last bit of your smoke before crushing it in the ashtray, turning to look at who was attempting to get friendly with you, ready to tell the douche to shove off and go find someone else to bother.

You were pleasantly surprised, however, to see a rather nice looking guy, around your age, now sitting beside you, a crooked smile on his face. He was wearing a striped blue shirt with a jean jacket, you noted how his hair was messy - as if he had been running his hands through his hair. He was cute, that much was obvious.

“Hi!” He yelled over the music, his darker eyes twinkling as they caught the light of the set on stage. “I was wondering if I could bum a smoke off you?” He asked, motioning towards the carton in front of you.

Catching yourself staring too long, you quickly fumbled at the carton in front of you, flipping the lid open before pulling one out and handing it to him, smiling as he yelled out a ‘thank you’.

You watched as he pulled out his own lighter, lighting the smoke before turning his attention to the main floor, shaking his head as a laugh escaped his lips. You felt him lean over closer to you, motioning towards the floor, “You get dragged with your friend too?” He asked in your ear, the scent of tobacco and liquor filling your nose.

Nodding, you laughed and pointed towards your friend who was still dancing with her date, “Yeah! She’s the one in the pink dress dancing with the tall bloke,” You shook your head and leaned back against the counter, picking up your drink and taking a sip, your eyes not leaving your friend. “I was told that he had a friend...although I have yet to meet this said ‘friend’. I’m wondering if he was smart and stayed home!”

At first you didn’t notice the smile that crept on the strange man’s face. You had turned your back to your friend again to pull out your own cigarette, stopping with the unlit smoke between your lips as the man turned towards you.

“Not the smartest. He was told that there would be a ‘friend’ as well, but haven’t got the chance to meet her yet.” While the comment had no other meaning behind it, the tone insinuated that the stranger did in fact know that you were ‘the friend’ and it had taken him almost the entire damn night to realize.

You knew that if he were anyone else you probably would have gotten up and left, been annoyed that your friend’s date’s friend finally made an appearance. But Jesus, the man was wearing an outfit that screamed ‘hi, i’ll have your parents fall in love with me on the first introduction’ and he had the stupidest crooked grin that made you melt in your seat.

So there you were, laughing at the confession as it finally hit you. “You? You’re the friend?” You shook your head as you lightly shoved his arm, grinning as he laughed back, “You’ve been sitting in that corner all night! Why didn’t you come over and say hi?”

He shrugged his shoulders and finished off his smoke, crushing the butt into the ashtray before rubbing his fingers together to get the ash off his skin, “Maybe I got cold feet?”

You couldn’t hold back your eyes from rolling, shaking your head before you looked back at him, “Give me a break. You? Cold feet? I don’t buy that.”

And then he blushed. The man actually blushed. You had to admit, the innocence that washed over him sent butterflies into your stomach, not expecting the mystery man to get all flustered. Maybe it was the liquor, maybe it was the smokes, but either way, something flipped a switch in you.

After a moment of debating, hearing the band end their song and kick in with another, you finally got the guts to ask. Clearing your throat, you motioned towards the exit, heading out of the main room, “You wanna get out of here?”

You wouldn’t of been upset, or surprised, if the stranger turned you down - after all, he was just that, a stranger...but he must have been in the same hazy state of mind as you, because the next thing you remember is leading the way out of the busy room and out into the hall, tugging him by the front of his shirt into the restroom.

It didn’t take long for your lips to be on his, sloppy open-mouthed kisses as you stumbled through the bathroom and into the bigger stall at the end. The stranger frantically tried to lock the door behind the both of you, not wanting to pull away from the kiss, but you could hear the grunts of frustration come from him and took matters into your own hand.

Running your hand down his arm, you felt his hand and the lock, clicking it shut before pulling away for a moment, catching your breath as you stared into his eyes - his pupils equally blown as your own, “Was it that hard?” You teased, lips plumped from the kiss.

You let out a squeak as he suddenly grabbed the back of your thighs and lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist to carry you to the opened baby changing station, laying you on the half-sturdy table, pulling back long enough to feel your hands pushing his shirt up enough to find his belt.

“Alex.” He said suddenly, watching as you sat up enough to tug his belt off and unzip his jeans. You looked up and frowned in confusion, “Pardon?”

He could only laugh, feeling his jeans sink down his thighs, groaning at the feel of your hands wrapping around his hardening dick, pulling it out of his boxers. With a shaky breath, his head lulled back for a moment before the sudden tug brought his attention back.

“Alex! My name, my name is Alex.” He stuttered out, his chest heaving as you continued to stroke his cock, a smile on your face.

Repeating his name, your free hand found his cheek, running your fingers along his jaw before along his lips, blushing faintly at the feeling of him kissing your fingers that he could catch between his lips. When you gave him your own name, he repeated it back, much as you did, before moving his hands from your thighs up and under your dress, running his fingers along the bottom of your underwear, moaning at the feeling of the soaked fabric.

Biting down on your lip, you closed your eyes and squeezed his dick when his fingers sank into you, gasping as he curled them deep inside of you before slowly pumping his fingers in and out of you.

“O-Oh! Alex…” You felt your body fall forward against his, your toes curling as your heels sank into his back, pulling him closer to you until he stumbled practically on you, catching himself before his weight brought the entire table you were sitting on down.

You couldn’t help but laugh, watching as he pulled his head up and smiled at you. You smiled back, leaning forward to give him a quick kiss before feeling his fingers slide out of you, gripping the side of the table next to your head while his other hand grabbed his dick, lining himself up at your entrance before pushing himself deeply in, the two of you moaning in unison.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to adjust, because only seconds later he was rocking into you, the table shaking as the bass from the band vibrated against the walls, a humming echo filling the bathroom with your moans and the slapping of skin.

When he was in you, he tugged your underwear to the side to bottom out in you, letting the fabric rest against the side of his dick as he continued to rut inside of you, his movements becoming erratic as he felt himself quickly reach his climax.

You couldn’t blame him for not lasting as long as you would have wished. Given the circumstance the two of you were in, you knew you couldn’t have a passionate night of love making because someone would eventually come in to go to the bathroom. You took what you could get and in that moment, it was a quickie in the handicapped stall of the bathroom.

“I-I don’t know how much longer I can last.” He panted, his lips against your neck, kissing and sucking at the delicate flesh - leaving marks that you knew would be seen the next day.

Shaking your head, you gripped his shoulders, clenching around him to the point he was a moaning mess in the crook of your neck, “It’s fine, Alex! Really!” And you meant it, you weren’t mad at all.

Alex nodded his head, accepting your answer to be truthful before he pulled back, gripping your legs to hike them up higher until he was pounding into you, sweat dripping from his forehead as his clammy hands stuck to your thighs. The temperature from the venue was not in your favor that evening as the two of you practically stuck together from the sweat.

After four more deep pumps into you, Alex grunted hard and let out a long exhale, finishing off in you as his legs shook, leaning against the table to keep him from falling. Surprisingly you weren’t far behind him. You thought that the quickie wouldn’t get you off and you’d have to relieve yourself later that night - but you were wrong. You were seeing stars and laid still once it was all over to catch your breath.

When Alex finally caught his breath, he slowly pulled out of you, groaning softly before tucking himself back into his boxers and pulling his jeans up, doing his zipper and belt and pulling his shirt back down. You, on the other hand, wiped the sweat from your forehead, sitting up and adjusting your soiled underwear, making a mental note that you’d have to take a shower when you go home.

As the two of you finished getting semi-ready again, you noticed Alex smiling at you, causing you to blush and smile back. “I don’t...I’ve never done that before...hookup like this. I promise whatever came over me is not normal.”

Watching you tuck your hair nervously behind your ear, Alex could only smile and shake his head, “No, no don’t worry. I enjoyed it - would have either way.”

He bent down and kissed your cheek, leaning back and pulling his cell phone out of his pocket and motioned to you, “Maybe...maybe I could get your number?”

Looking at his phone, then up at him, you grinned cheekily and nodded, taking his phone from his hand before typing your number in, sending yourself a text before handing his phone back to him. You pulled your phone out from your own pocket and smiled at the text of a simple kissing emoji before adding his number into your phone, sending him the same emoji back.

You adored the sound of his innocent laugh, shaking his head before he stuffed his phone back into his pocket, taking your hands and helping you off the table, adjusting your dress for you and looking at you contently, “I...I enjoyed myself, maybe we could meet again sometime?”

“Yes, yes, I would like that.” You were about to go in for another kiss when you felt your phone buzz, jolting you before you dug into your pocket, pulling out your phone to see that your friend had texted you.

‘Hey! Couldn’t find you - just wanted to let you know I’m going back home with him...don’t wait up! Xoxo’

Shaking your head, you motioned your phone towards Alex as you let out a weak laugh, “She strikes again...going home with the boy.” You explained, keeping your hands rested in the pockets of your dress.

Alex must have gotten the same text, before when he looked at his phone, he rolled his eyes and put his phone away, “And he strikes again...going home with the girl.” He mimicked, leaning against the bathroom wall.

Part of you wanted to be mad, for being dragged out tonight, but you knew that if you hadn’t been, you probably wouldn’t have met Alex - and you wouldn’t have had the infamous bathroom quickie.

You didn’t want the night to end, as you were enjoying Alex’s company. Nudging his arm, you motioned towards the door, “I’m not too far from here. If you want to come over...you can crash at my place. No pressure though.” You assured, waiting for his answer.

His frowned turned up and into the cheeky innocent smile that you had seen all night, the butterflies returning to your stomach. With a nod, he grabbed your hand and led the way out of the bathroom before switching roles and letting you lead them out of the venue and outside, into the night and down the street towards your home.

When you got to your place, the two of you found yourself in a similar position as before, this time in the comfort of your own bed, and went on until the sun came up before falling asleep in one another’s arms.

#daniel brühl #daniel bruhl #daniel bruehl #goodbye lenin #good bye lenin #alex kerner #modern #modern au #alex kerner x reader #alex kerner x you #alex kerner imagine #alex kerner smut

[barbiedragon]

i love your blog sm! you write so beautiful<3

could you please do some little!reader with alex kerner? or whoever you'd like, i'd just want to see how alex would be with a little

hope it makes sense, english is not my first language:(

Thank you so much and yes I can!! I can picture Alex as a soft caregiver boyfriend.

“Come on, liebling, let’s get your shoes on,” Alex smiled.

“Nu uh,” you giggled, tucking your legs against your chest.

“We can’t go to the park without shoes can we?” he chuckled as he climbed closer to you and wiggled his fingers against your ribs, lightly tickling you. You squealed softly and untucked your legs.

“Ok ok, shoes,” you agreed, giggling happily. Alex kissed your forehead before wiggling your feet into the white tennis shoes.

The two of you had been dating for a few months now and you had expected the worse when you had revealed your little side to him. Expected him to break up with you. Alex had been surprisingly accepting and he thought it was adorable. You were pretty sweet and cuddly anyways, never gave him too much trouble or sass when in your little space. Today he was taking you to the park and promised you ice cream later. He lifted you into his arms and spun you around before placing you down.

The two of you swung hands on your little walk to the park and he pushed you on the swings, smiling at your happy little laugh. You bounced on your toes as you ate your chocolate ice cream cone, spinning a bit as the two of you walked home with Alex chuckling softly.

“Careful, don’t trip,” he warned you and you poked your tongue out at him while you twirled around. You ended up tripping and landed on your backside, letting out a little laugh since it hadn’t hurt too much.

“Silly, silly, silly,” Alex chuckled as he walked over and scooped you into his arms, carrying you the rest of the way home. You let your head drop onto his shoulder and smiled.

“Alex, can I have a coca cola when we get home?” you smiled.

“A coco cola and ice cream? You’re going to be bouncing off the walls, liebling,” he smiled as he carried you back to the flat.

“Please, please? I’ve been really good,” you tried.

“Fine, but you will eat all your veggies yes?” he said as he patted your bottom before putting you down.

“Mhmm, I will, I will,” you promised him and he kissed your forehead.

He was wrong however, you ended up falling asleep in his lap after dinner, your face smooshed against his chest.

#prompts #requests #little!reader #alex kerner x reader #Alex kerner #daniel bruhl imagine #daniel brühl fanfiction #daniel brühl x you #daniel bruhl

[therenlover]

Would The Danny Bunch Survive A Holiday With My Family?

A/n: In the wake of recent life garbage, I have neglected to write a whole fic, and I’m sorry. In the interim, please enjoy this writing exercise I have put together in the hopes of nailing some characters I haven’t written for in the past in time for a larger project I’m working on! Cheers!

Characters: Laszlo Kreizler, Alex Kerner, Niki Lauda, Andrea Marowski, Ernst Schmidt, and Helmut Zemo

Rating: T

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Mild Misogyny, Mentions of Alcohol/Alcoholism, Mentions of Mental Illness, Non-Graphic Mentions of Death, Minor Spoilers for The Alienist Season One, Minor Spoilers for Goodbye, Lenin!, Spoilers for Rush (2013), Minor Spoilers for The Cloverfield Paradox maybe??? I haven’t actually seen the whole movie, blame Wikipedia if things are wrong. 

Laszlo Kreizler

NO

As the first of all of the Dannys to be put through the ringer, Laszlo Kreizler unfortunately would not survive a holiday with my family.

First of all, this man does not like massive huggy kissy crowds, so he’d already be off his game the second he walked into the packed house. That’s not why he’d die though, surprisingly.  

His downfall would be his status as an Alienist. 

There is simply so much mental illness and childhood trauma present at my family holidays that he would combust within 15 minutes of sitting in a room with all of my relatives.

Even if he were to somehow make it past the introductory phase, my family is nosey as hell, so they’d be grilling him about his arm and his own childhood trauma within the first hour. 

Laszlo, for all of his strength, simply wouldn’t be able to withstand it.

His death wouldn’t come from the initial combustion though. No, it’s not that simple. 

Knowing Laszlo, once he had combusted and entirely lost his composure the first time, he would become extremely intrigued about the interconnected nature of everyones issues with each other and he would start asking questions. 

That’s where the problems would begin. 

Because it’s one thing if my drunk great aunt starts badmouthing her sister at the table for abandoning her 90 year old mother for a lake house with her new boyfriend. That’s fine. 

But when Laszlo hops in and starts picking apart the mommy issues and underlying reasons for their decades long sibling rivalry? 

Oh it would be over for him. 

The yelling would never end. 

And, I have no doubt that Laszlo would start to psychoanalyze whoever started to yell at him, which would only lead to more yelling. 

In the end, someone would throw a probably full and probably fresh out of the oven casserole dish at his head and he’d be unable to defend himself because of his weak arm. 

We’d have to cart him out in a wheelchair and even if he were to technically survive, he’d never come back. 

Therefor, Laszlo Kreizler would fall victim to my family and die before we even got to dessert. 

Alex Kerner

YES

Ah, little baby Alex! A great contender here for holiday survival.

He seems relatively young in comparison to most of the Dannys on this list, though I don’t actually know how old he’s supposed to be. 

Based on his relative youth, he would automatically get points with the fam for not seeming like a creep or sugar daddy. Instead, he could be just about any dude I brought home from college. 

His skillset as a semi-skilled laborer would also earn him some points, seeing as several members of the family are in similar professions.

Alex might get lost in some of the more complex conversations about the local organic scene or the fine details of running a fine art gallery, but he would fit right in with the majority of the younger members of the family, smiling and nodding his way through the conversation. 

His enthusiasm and optimism would brighten the room and leave everyone excited to see him around again. 

There’s also the semi-small detail of him caring for his mother, which would earn sympathy from the older members of the family as they are in charge of caring for my deaf, blind great grandmother. 

Now, all of these aspects have already set Alex up for a successful survival of a holiday dinner with my family, but the real secret weapon he has up his sleeve is what really cements him in place as a survivor. 

What is his secret weapon, you may ask?

Lies.

Alex Kerner is really, really good at lying, and is even better at figuring out increasingly convoluted ways to keep his lies straight. 

If he managed to hide to fuckin’ Berlin Wall coming down from his mother for as long as he did, he could keep a couple of white lies up for appearances if he was asked any potentially embarrassing or weird questions that would make him look bad. 

He could also lie about enjoying my great aunt’s cooking, which is a vital skill for holiday survival in my family. 

Therefor, at the end of the day, Alex Kerner would not only survive a holiday with my family, but he’d probably enjoy it and get invited back for every subsequent holiday he could possibly attend. 

Niki Lauda

NO

Niki is another Danny that falls very firmly into the category of characters that would absolutely not survive a holiday with my family, for many, many reasons. 

First of all, just like Laszlo, Niki is not huge on going to big huggy kissy parties. 

Both adults and children would be all over him the second he walked in the door, which would probably make Niki get very uncomfortable and cagey. 

Little does he know at that point that people aren’t just all over you when you get in the door. 

No, no, no; from the moment you show up to the moment you leave, if you’re at a holiday with my family you are being basically accosted with questions and hugs and conversations that get weirdly personal. 

It doesn’t help that the whole entire house is packed and there are eyes on you at every moment, so he wouldn’t even be able to sneak in a break for air or a cigarette. 

If my own mother can’t sneak out for a smoke when she’s been going to these events her whole life, the new guy who’s still being vetted by the family sure as hell won’t be able to either.

Needless to say, Niki would start to get really, really tired of it all in an hour tops. I’ll give him until dinner at most. 

That’s where things would start getting really sticky.

See, a lovely little fact about the Niki Lauda that lives in my brain, as portrayed by Daniel Bruhl in Rush (2013), is that he’s just a little bit misogynistic. No more than would be period typical, but a little misogynistic.

Another fun little important thing to note is that my family is entirely matriarchal in nature. 

There are only 4 reoccurring male guests at family holidays out of about 20 to 25 guests at each event; My great aunt’s husband of many, many years, the two male siblings my mother has that live in the area, and the young son of one of those siblings. 

Men, specifically boyfriends, simply do not last in my family. They are considered pretty disposable and easily banned from family events after breakups or small mishaps. 

So, not only would Niki not have any other manly men there to chat about sports with over a scotch and a cigarette, he would be surrounded by so much estrogen that he would definitely struggle with his inner asshole even more than usual. 

In fact, we never have sports on, even on Thanksgiving. Poor Niki would be stuck hearing conversations about artisanal candlemakers and how to hand felt a woodland elf puppet.

Back to his downfall, the second he made a slightly sketchy joke about women in the kitchen at the dinner table to my great uncle, his fate would be sealed.

If you thought the yelling at Laszlo would have been bad, this yelling would be ten times worse, because he would be surrounded by like 20 very angry, very defensive, and very strong women waiting to beat the shit out of him and I would not be any help. 

He dug the hole, so he can climb out of it. 

In the end, his death would come when he tried to light a cigarette and calm himself down at the dinner table while trying to rescind his earlier statement, because smoking inside around all the precious textile art? Thats a big no no. 

My great aunt would grab the lighter right out of his hand, light up whatever cocktail she had at the moment, and throw it all directly into Niki’s face.

It would be like crashing his car all over again, only this time he would be surrounded by people who would rather he burn than try to get him out of the situation. 

Moral of the story, Niki would die within the first few hours of a holiday with my family because he made an asshole comment to a room full of women who don’t put up with that shit. Don’t be like Niki, even if you think you won’t get killed for it. 

Andrea Marowski

YES

Andrea is pretty much the polar opposite of Niki here, and I love him for it. 

He is very soft, very kind, very pure, and would never dare to say something rude at the dinner table like a certain racer we all know.

He couldn’t even say something rude if he tried to, because he probably wouldn’t have the English in his vocabulary to say the things he wanted to say even if he intended to say them out loud. 

But let’s be honest here, Andrea would never. 

Even with his limited English, Andrea would appreciate being surrounded by a whole bunch of people who think he’s the sweetest little thing since the invention of cake. 

My great grandmother, despite being almost entirely blind and deaf, would say he looked darling and he would immediately be a member of the family from the moment he stuttered out his thanks. 

Andrea, like Alex, is also relatively young, so he would get points for not being old enough to be my father. 

I feel like, because Andrea was shown living happily in a tiny village by the ocean with two old ladies, he would have an appreciation for craft, so he wouldn’t mind sitting quietly as my great aunt pawns off a handmade blanket from my great grandmother to him. 

He would also happily sit with the younger children and do whatever craft or simple game one of my aunts brought for them that time. 

The cherry on top with Andrea is his skill with the violin. 

My family is one that appreciates fine art a lot, but more than anything we appreciate music. 

I wouldn’t say that any of us are anywhere close to Andrea’s proficiency, but we definitely aren’t terrible, and we all can appreciate the effort, practice, and talent that goes into getting truly good on an instrument like Andrea is on his violin. 

He would be encouraged to play, of course, and he would happily oblige. 

If he felt comfortable enough, I could even see my great uncle grabbing his guitar, my cousin sitting at the piano, and my sister bringing out her own violin to do a little quartet with some simple song they knew as everybody else sang along. 

By the end of the holiday evening, once dinner was served and people were heading to the cars, Andrea would definitely be considered a member of the family. 

Needless to say, he’d survive and pass their tests with better than flying colors, even despite the language barrier. 

Ernst Schmidt

NO

Now, Ernst was probably the most difficult one on this entire list to put into the living or dying category. In the end, though, there were a few things that couldn’t be overlooked that send him into bad territory. 

To be fair, though, he would last the longest out of everyone who would die tragically at one of my family’s holiday gatherings. 

He, like the past two victims, would not be exactly suited for the mushy crowding that’s inevitable when it comes to my family. 

That being said, I think he would deal with it a little bit better than the other two did and would make polite conversation with the family when he could. 

The fact that he was trapped in a packed house filled with drunk people who have several generations worth of beef with each other, though, would start to get him eventually. 

If we consider all of the shit that happened while he was in space to be canonical minus, you know, the earth getting really fucked up, he would probably start to go a little bit nuts while packed together with that many passive aggressive people.

The second someone burst into tears on the way to the bathroom he would start to lose his shit. 

Still, I think Schmidt would probably be fine-ish until dessert was served, because that’s about the time where all the adults are absurdly drunk, so insanity ensues. 

They would start poking at him about his credentials and experiences as a physicist. 

He would answer their questions at first, but, unfortunately for him, the questions would turn more and more personal and uncomfortable as time went on. 

Did he ever still think about what happened up in space? Did he blame himself for not getting things to work correctly? How much did he miss his old world and old life? Did he ever have nightmares about what he saw? How much did it hurt to get shot?

They’d poke and poke and poke in their drunken state until poor Schmidt would snap at them, flying into a slight rage at their insistent probing. 

From there, he would be swiftly asked to leave and then “accidentally” run over while calling an Uber to take him to wherever he’s staying as my drunk great aunt tries to back out of the driveway to drive down the block to her house. 

In the end, Schmidt and his wit would be really close to surviving a holiday with my family , but he would, unfortunately, let his anger get the best of him, and it would be the last thing he ever did. Literally. 

Helmut Zemo

YES, BUT ONLY BARELY

Okay, so my earlier comment about Ernst being the most difficult out of everyone was incorrect. Zemo was, by far, the hardest to put into one category or the other. 

His wit and charm won out in the end, though, and I determined that he would survive one single holiday with my family. 

If he ever came back for a second he definitely wouldn’t make it, but he would succeed in living past the first one. 

Helmut’s problems start, surprisingly, not with the fact that he is a criminal. In fact that doesn’t even cause any problems for him. 

No, instead they start with the fact that he is 43.

I am 99% sure that my mother is 43, and I know for a definite fact that he’s older than one of my uncles who would be present. I, at the time of writing this, am 18. 

Needless to say, literally everyone would be massively suspicious of him and his intentions the second he walked through the door. The amount of money in his bank account definitely wouldn’t help in this situation either. 

The family would warm up to him eventually, though, because if there’s one thing Helmut is good at besides killing people, it’s making people like him even if they absolutely shouldn’t. 

With his expansive knowledge of what feels like literally everything rich and niche, he would slowly win over the older members of the family. Who knew the strange old man Jac brought home was so well versed in the American pottery scene, or that he could name specific jewelry artists from across the world that my family had done business with for years?

My family definitely wouldn’t. At least, not at first. 

Oh how they’d learn, though. 

Another nice thing about Zemo that would allow him to survive is his aggressive politeness.

No matter how many weird glances or dirty looks he got over the course of dinner, he would simply continue to be the best version of himself in the hopes of impressing everyone. 

He would even pretend to enjoy my great aunt’s cooking and get himself seconds, because I’m sure it would be easier to scarf down than whatever he and his EKO Scorpion squad had to eat while serving in the Sokovian special forces. 

On the tail end of reasons he would be accepted, Helmut Zemo drinks alcohol like it’s water, so he would fit right in drinking white wine and cocktails through the night with the rest of the adults. 

((I think he’d totally tease me about not being able to drink with him, but that’s a story for another time. Anyways...))

His slight downfall would come from something entirely uncontrollable by him or anybody else. 

And that something would be my flirty aunt. 

I love my aunt. She’s wonderful in her own special way. 

That being said, I know if a hot Sokovian baron with a nice smile and a fat pocketbook showed up to one of out holidays, even if he was introduced as my partner, she would be going for the kill all night long. 

This would make Helmut more and more uncomfortable as she got more and more drunk, because lets face it, he’s probably not very comfortable with being touched by near-strangers anyways, and being touched by a drunk member of his partners family who is very obviously coming on to him? 

That’s even more difficult to deal with. 

That being said, Helmut is a man who has been shown to be extremely in control of his emotions. 

He would swallow down whatever awkwardness he felt, make it to the end of the night, and, once he had escaped her clutches, he would politely say that he was never going back to another holiday function with my family again, though he would be happy to facilitate me still attending them. 

So, in the end, Helmut Zemo would survive one holiday with his sheer stubborn politeness alone. 

I will say that his patience would absolutely wear thin if he attended a couple more holidays and he would eventually die of a stress induced heart attack after being unable to politely decline my aunt’s advances. 

For now, though, he’s safe.

#zemo #baron zemo #helmut zemo #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl #niki lauda #andrea marowski #ernst schmidt #laszlo kreizler #alex kerner #jac rambles #imagine #the danny bunch

[italianraviolos]

(1st of March 2022)

I'm currently in Paris with my father who's a PAIN IN THE ASSHOLE.

He complains about everything, he doesn't want to visit anything...

He's definitely testing my limits to see how much it takes to bring me to commit homocide.

So, this morning I visited Orsay Museum without him, and this led me to think about...

HOW WOULD DANIEL BRÜHL'S CHARACTERS REACT TO VISITING MUSEUMS?

1) LAZSLO KREIZLER

Everything started with this motherf*cker right here.

I literally thought "Lazslo would never do this to me, he would love to be here and watch all this paintings, he would love to comment the author, their style and to tell me the stories of all these paintings".

He would be the one to ask you to go to museums (O MY I LOVE THAT THING), he would ask you to join him, and if you do, he would definitely be your guide through every kind of exhibition.

(this is a clear symptom of a big dick)

I don't want to support mansplaining, but, I would stay there hours with him explaining things about whatever the museum is...

Also, eating at a cafe after the show or the visit and commenting what you've seen...

SO HOT

2) HELMUT ZEMO

He would buy you the museum.

End of the story.

I firmly believe that, at the first occasion you mention your will to go in a particular museum, he would instantly call the owner and ask for a private visit and telling them that he's willing to pay... A lot...

Also, I believe he's probably highly educated, being the Baron he is.

Guiding you through the museum and telling you the stories of the paintings, sculptures and the authors.

"museum date" wouldn't be the most popular option between you two, but I like to think, once or twice a month he'd be like "hey you know, there's this show of this famous artist, I was thinking we could go together".

Again...

SO HOT

3) ALEX KERNER

I'm sure as hell I would end up kicking him in the face...

I'm sure he would be all whiny and would bitch around for staying in front of a statue for more then three seconds...

He would complain every two seconds and ask perpetually when we are leaving.

He would rather prefer do other things instead of museum (I think I made it quite clear), but maybe he would agree to come with you if this makes you happy.

But that doesn't mean he's gonna enjoy it and that he's not going to bitch about it...

4) NIKI LAUDA

Only if it's about something that he likes too.

I imagine a museum about cars or motors or stuff related to F1.

So here we have two possible endings, one good and one bad.

The good one, happens if you like the same things.

He would love to come with you to cars related shows and museums, and explain to you how things work and their history.

The bad one, happens if you have different interests.

Prepare yourself to go around art shows and museums all alone, or with a bratty and bitchy Niki.

5) ANDREA MAROWSKI

This is a difficult one to identificate.

He plays the violin, so I believe he has an advanced knowledge of music and its history and probably a good level of general culture, probably above an average person.

BUT

His childish attitude and his hyperactivity will definitely influence his interest and his attention in a museum.

So for this one, I believe he would gladly come with you, and he would actually enjoy it, but not for an excessive amount of time.

Let's say, no more then 2 hours.

THOSE ARE THE ONES I WANTED TO ANALYZE TODAY, IF YOU HAVE DIFFERENT HEADCANONS FROM MINE AND/OR HEADCANONS FOR OTHER CHARACTERS, PLEASE LET'S START A CHIT CHAT IN THE COMMENT, I LOVE THAT THING.

Bye Lovies ❤️

#daniel brühl smut #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl x reader #daniel brühl x reader #zemo x reader #daniel bruhl #daniel bruhl icons #laszlo kreizler #baron zemo #helmut zemo #andrea marowski x you #andrea marowski x reader #andrea #andrea marowski #the alienist #rush #rush 2013 #niki x reader #niki x y/n #niki x you #niki lauda #alex kerner #goodbye lenin #alex kerner x reader

[mypoisonedvine]

𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗹 || dark!alex kerner x reader

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 ◦ alex has been waiting so long for you to figure out he's the guy you should be with, but you just see him as your best friend. he's tired of being a virgin, and he's tired of hoping that someday you'll wake up and realise you're meant to be together— if he can't wake you up, at least he can put you to sleep.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 ◦ 6.7k

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 ◦ smut (noncon, somnophilia, creampie), drugging, obsession, "nice guy"/incel vibes, a bit of possessiveness, very slight degradation, male virginity loss, overall just alex being super unsettling and awful lmao

“I’m gonna run to the washroom, watch my drink?” you requested casually. Alex nodded quickly, heart starting to beat a bit faster as he watched you weave your way through the crowded bar, leaning back a bit to make sure you were out of sight for good.

He took a few glances back and forth at the people around to make sure no eyes were on him, leaning in closer to the bar to try to conceal what he was doing— reaching into his inner jacket pocket and fishing for what he’d bought just a few days ago, waiting for this moment. He was absolutely terrified that someone would catch him— that you would catch him— but he was willing to risk it in exchange for such an incredible reward.

After struggling for a second due to his hands shaking slightly, he found the plastic baggie and discreetly slipped it out, not even looking at it as he opened it close to his chest; he figured if he stared straight ahead it would be less suspicious.

He managed to get the bag open and lean forward just enough to dump the contents into your drink as it rested on the bar, looking around absent-mindedly to remain nonchalant— except that when he leaned back to see if the powder had dissolved easily, he found that he’d missed the glass entirely and dumped the light blue substance right onto the bar.

“Scheiße!” he frantically cursed under his breath as he whipped his head around to make sure no one had seen, trying to decide how to recover from this. Thinking quickly, he grabbed the glass and held it up to the edge of the bar, brushing the powder with his hand across the smooth surface and right over the slope into your drink; it hit the alcohol and started to dissolve quickly as he used his finger to push in the excess on the wooden bar before brushing the rest away with his jacket sleeve. He held the glass up to his face to look at the liquid closely, still seeing some remnants of the powder and trying to swirl the drink a bit to encourage it to fade away: if you saw something by the time you got back, he’d have to start all over again.

“When I said ‘watch my drink,’ I didn’t mean it that literally,” you giggled, and he jumped, not having realized you had returned. Considering your casual attitude and your hands eagerly reaching for the glass, you must not have seen anything leading up to this moment— and thank heavens for that.

He watched a little too intently as you took the drink from his hand and took a sip, waiting to see if you had any reaction, but you set it down without saying anything. “Thanks,” you broke the silence after swallowing, “god knows this place is probably full of creeps.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” he agreed awkwardly. There was one benefit to being so deep in the friendzone: you trusted him. Right now, that and some pharmaceutical support were all he had going for him.

He wrung his hands nervously as he hoped that the second would come through for him. The guy he bought this stuff from said it was guaranteed to work, but Alex didn’t necessarily trust the word of a drug dealer selling daterape drugs. Not that he thought the label of “daterape” was very fair— if he could get you on a date, he wouldn’t have to do stuff like this in the first place! But after years of being your best friend, your partner in crime, your confidante, and the constant shoulder to cry on while a carousel of abusive assholes treated you like shit and kicked you to the curb, you still didn’t get the fucking picture. So no, this wasn’t a date; it was just two friends getting drinks, and one friend finally getting what he deserved from the other.

He took a swig of his own drink to try to calm his nerves; nursing the neck of a bottle of beer made him realize he got lucky that you ordered something served in a glass, since getting powder down a bottle would’ve been a pain.

Quickly the conversation returned to the mundane: your latest break-up, his week at work, your favorite bands, his favorite movies. He really did enjoy being your friend, all things considered, he just needed more. And as the night continued without much sign of the pill kicking in— even as you finished your drink— he worried he wouldn't get it.

But then, finally, he noticed the subtle signs: you were blinking a bit more often, and for longer. You seemed to be breathing a bit slower, staring off into space. "Hey, you with me?" he prompted, waving his hand in front of your face to get your attention. "Sorry, my story was boring—"

"No, it's not that, I'm sorry," you shook your head.

"Then what's up?" he asked, adding faux concern to his tone.

“I just…" you sighed and started over again. "Let’s head out soon, I’m getting ready to turn in,” you decided.

“It’s only ten!” Alex pointed out with a laugh.

“Fuck, really? I thought it was later,” you frowned.

“Who knew you were such a lightweight?” he teased, pushing you on the shoulder and getting a playful shove back— but he could feel that you were a little weak, and he saw you almost falter in your balance. “Hey, you don’t look so good, let’s go outside for some fresh air.”

You nodded and took his hand, letting him guide you through the crowd and out the back door.

The overwhelming noise that had been present inside was muffled in the damp alleyway, just the distant roar of a thousand conversations and the heavy bass of the music left now. He watched you take a deep breath, closing your eyes. "You good?" he prompted.

"Yeah," you decided, but your voice sounded a little heavy. "Let's walk to the train station…"

He nodded and walked beside you, but you hardly made it a few steps before losing your balance. “Woah!” he laughed as you stumbled, thankfully catching you just in time, and tried not to get too caught up in how amazing it felt to hold you in his arms. “I think you’ve had a little too much to drink…”

“Alex,” you mumbled as you started to go limp, clearly fighting to keep your eyes open (and losing).

“I’m gonna take you home, okay?” he offered as you started to fade out.

He kept that promise; he just took you to his home instead of your own.

It was a bit of a struggle to drag an unconscious body back to his apartment without arousing suspicion, but thankfully it was only a couple blocks and with his your arm slung over his shoulders it was pretty easy for any passersby (of which there were very few at this hour) to assume it was just a chivalrous boyfriend helping his date after one too many drinks.

The hardest part was actually getting his keys and unlocking his door without dropping you. Once you were both inside, though, he grunted slightly as he slung you over his shoulder and carried you to the bedroom, laying you down on the bed and looking down at you as he caught his breath.

He was embarrassingly eager; he was already rock hard just from seeing you like this, laying on his bed. It’s not that he got off on you being passed out, but from the feeling that he could do whatever he wanted to you— and the knowledge that he was going to.

Finally, after all this time of being just your friend, he would get what he’d been dreaming of from the beginning.

He was slow and patient, for once, as he sat down beside you on the bed, trailing his fingers over your face, brushing your hair out of the way tenderly. You looked so beautiful this way, peaceful in a way he was almost jealous of; he closed his eyes as he leaned down and kissed you softly, moving his lips even though yours were slack and still.

Past the taste of alcohol, there was something distinctly unique to you, and he took in a deep breath as he sought more of it, adjusting himself until he was on top of you... just having you beneath him was such a rush.

He licked over your lips, even nibbled on them before holding your jaw so he could open your mouth wider and taste inside of it. “Baby,” he whispered to you, heart swelling at the chance to finally call you something that friends don’t call each other— only lovers. “Baby,” he said again, mumbled into the kiss, “you’re so beautiful…”

He precariously balanced on one arm while using the other to feel all over your body through your clothes— and even under them, for a moment, as his hand awkwardly snaked up your shirt and squeezed your tits through your bra.

Suddenly he pulled back with a new desperation, sitting up and breaking the kiss as he started to undress you. “Let’s get you out of these clothes,” he cooed at you quietly, starting to lift your shirt to expose a bit of your hips and stomach.

It was pretty difficult to push your shirt up, since your weight was holding the back of it down, and so he had to awkwardly lift your limp upper body to finally pull the fabric aside before he laid you back down and carefully— gently, with reverence— exposed your bra which itself he pulled down with much less care.

“Oh, god,” he groaned as he got an eyeful, and then a handful, of your tits. “Fuck, wanted to touch you for so long…”

You were so warm, in fact you were hot to the touch, and he hoped his hands weren’t too cold for you… but then again, you couldn’t feel any of it, could you? Did you even care?

For cold hands or not, your nipples started to get harder and he smiled to himself. “You’re sensitive here, just like I imagined. I’m gonna suck on them,” he promised as he started to lean down, pushing them together a bit to make them easier to reach. With a hum he wrapped his lips around one bud and closed his eyes, swirling his tongue and moaning at the taste of your skin. Already his hips were rocking forward into the air just a bit, his cock throbbing and eager to be inside you. But he couldn’t stop doing this to deal with that, couldn’t stop suckling on your perfect tits, going back and forth and massaging them both as he let his tongue explore you.

“God, you’re so fucking perfect,” he groaned against your skin, “you’ve got such perfect tits… you like being sucked here, don’t you? I bet your pussy’s getting so wet.”

As his cock flexed in his pants again, he found the strength to let go so he could move on to better things.

“Let’s find out,” he decided as he sat up and moved down your body to start opening your jeans.

If he thought your shirt was awkward to remove, your jeans were a whole other story; he had to fiddle with the button and fly for quite a while since his hands were starting to shake from the adrenaline rush of it all, and then it took several hard yanks to get the tight denim down your legs. He considered just getting them down enough to do his business and be on with it, but decided it would be better to see all of you— and so he stood up off the bed for a moment, though it felt a bit awkward physically with his cock doing its best try to bust right out of his trousers, and pulled the jeans off over your feet which he also relieved of their socks.

“Aw, you even have pretty feet,” he cooed as he cradled one in his hand briefly before climbing back up over you— after all he’d seen them before when you wore sandals and while he’d always found it a bit titillating when you wore them with your toenails painted in bright colours, they were absolutely nowhere near the main event tonight.

His hands ran over your legs, admiring the smoothness of your skin as he carefully held and lifted each one, moving them out further to spread your legs. Again, they were heavier than he expected as dead weight, and the softness of the bed meant that they sort of rolled back a bit so he had to move them more than he expected at first, but it was worth it to have you spread out beneath him like this with only your panties and rolled up shirt to cover you.

“I can just… pull these aside…” he mumbled as he hooked a finger into the fabric of your panties, revealing your cunt— and god, just the sight of it nearly pushed him over the edge right then and there. What a waste it would’ve been to come this far and just end up coming in his pants at the sight of you, so it was a good thing he held it off just barely. “Mein Gott, you have such a beautiful pussy,” he sighed. “It smells good… I wanna taste it. I’ve never tasted a pussy before…”

Carefully, he leaned in and gave an experimental lick to your folds, moaning softly at the taste. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but he liked it more than he thought he would, going in again to get a more thorough taste. That said, as soon as he started to push his tongue into you, he knew he needed to feel inside you with something much more capable of appreciating every detail of you. He breathed heavily as he quickly brought his fingers up to your entrance, pushing in one but adding a second right away once he felt the warm perfection of your channel. This he’d done before— fingering, that is— and it had been rather lackluster so he hadn’t realised how much he would enjoy it when it was you; you were so much warmer, and wetter, and tighter… his fingers curled slightly to press against your walls, his attempt to feel every detail of your body, and he moaned as he sucked on your clit while he pumped his fingers.

One more flex of his cock against the confines of his trousers made one thing very clear: now, or never.

“Fuck,” he groaned beneath his breath as he sat up quickly, pulling his fingers out of you to use two hands to fumble over his belt and jeans, “need to be inside you— m’gonna fuck you baby, you want it? Yeah, you wanna be fucked, don’t you?”

You were, of course, still and silent… but your pussy was wet, you obviously wanted him.

He shouldn’t have rushed it quite so much but the moment he pulled his cock out, he found himself leaning forward and hovering over you again, swiping the head through your folds to coat himself in your wetness. As soon as he felt your entrance, he pushed all the way inside.

“Fuck!” he moaned loudly at the overwhelming feeling of you— so hot he thought he might burn up and he wouldn’t even mind it— already bucking his hips as he thrusted quickly. Lost in the feeling, he threw his head back for a moment and blindly searched with his hand until he found a breast to grab onto. “Oh my god, you feel so good, baby…”

He didn’t have much freedom to move his legs since he’d only pushed his pants down just enough to get inside you, but he found a way to make it work anyways, just from pure desperation. After a moment, he looked down at your sleeping face, tossing around slightly as his thrusts rocked your unconscious body, and you looked so angelic that he just had to lean down to kiss you again. So he did, and he did so hungrily, passionately, moans echoing into your mouth, as he already felt himself getting closer and closer to the edge.

“Taking me so good,” he praised roughly, “feels like you were made for me… you’re fucking tight, too, how am I supposed to pull out when you’re this tight? Oh fuck, I have to come inside you— I can’t pull out, you feel too good, and you’re not awake to yell at me anyways…”

Truth be told, he had no plan for when you woke up tomorrow, sore and leaking his come. He’d never thought that far ahead, not even when he was buying the sedative for your drink. All he could think about was this moment, this exact place that he knew he was meant to be: inside you.

“Gonna fill you with it,” he promised with a grunt as he kissed his way across your cheek to the crook of your neck where he buried his face as he thrusted faster. “O-oh god, I’m close, I’m so fucking close, just— just like that, baby— fuck!”

He may have caught a little glimpse of heaven as he came inside you, each pulse of his orgasm running straight down to the base of his cock and making his balls tighten so hard that it would’ve probably been painful were it not for the euphoria superseding everything. He gave you a few more weak thrusts, not pulling out very far since he couldn’t manage being anything but buried completely inside you, before the waves subsided and he collapsed on top of you.

“You’re so amazing, baby, Mein Gott,” he breathed as he kissed all over your face, “look how fast you made me come, you’re fucking perfect.”

He let himself rest for a little while, content to just stay inside you for as long as he could stand it, before sitting back up again and very carefully pulling himself out of you.

That first one only took the edge off; now that he was thinking somewhat clearly again, he could take the time to do this right— he carefully pulled your panties down your legs, tossing them aside along with your shirt and bra once he’d figured out how to get them off somehow.

He really savored you this time: kissed you all over, talked softly to you about everything he couldn’t wait to do to your pliant body, ran his hands over anywhere he could reach. He even played with your clit, watching the way it made your walls flex which pushed a bit of his come out every time. “I love the way your pussy looks, baby, it’s so fucking sexy,” he grinned. “And you know what? I think it looks even better with my come leaking out of it. You want more? I can give you more, baby, I have so much left to give— I’m gonna use you until my balls are empty and all my come is inside you. We’ve got all night, after all.”

He stripped himself as well, wanting to feel your skin against his this time, and stroked himself for a moment as he stared down at your body, laying there at his disposal. He couldn’t even count how many times he had jerked off imagining being with you, and now his dreams were coming true, if maybe not exactly the way he would’ve predicted.

On his knees between your spread legs, he lifted your hips up and propped you up just how he wanted you before pushing inside, groaning instantly not only from your warmth but also because of the way his own come eased his path and left you dripping wet. “Oh fuck,” he breathed, placing one hand beside your head so he could hover over you while the other squeezed your hips tightly.

But now that he’d already come before, he had some real stamina to work with and that gave him time to move you into a new position— just for fun, he turned you onto your stomach and fucked you from behind for a while. He was definitely a breast man all things considered, but he was absolutely not one to let a great ass go to waste; he loved watching yours ripple each time he slammed into you, pushing your back down to force it to arch a bit.

“You probably like taking it from behind, don’t you? Is this how you liked to get fucked?” he taunted with a groan. “Yeah, I think you like it— I think you’re a bit of a slut, hm?”

He took your absence of response as a yes, squeezing handfuls of your ass before spanking you a few times for good measure.

After that, he pushed your legs up to your shoulders, groaning in awe of such a lovely view of your pussy and face at the same time. This time when he pushed his cock into you, he felt himself hit the very end of your body— he moaned as he realized his cock was using all of you, really claiming you as his own. He needed to come this deep in you, he needed it like he had never needed anything before.

Soon enough it ended up with your legs draped over his shoulders and his hands roughly grabbing at your tits, and that transitioned naturally into him slipping his arms under your back and holding you tight as he fucked you fast, rough, needy— animalistic, near the end.

He let his mind run wild with some insane idea of what it might be like if you were awake: in his fantasy you were begging him for more, moaning about how he was the best you ever had, digging your nails into his back as he brought you to ecstasy with only his cock. You seemed like the type to cry with joy when you came really hard, at least that’s what he’d imagined before, and so he thought he might kiss your tears away while he spoke his little praises to you, hearing your sounds of pleasure right against his ear.

Suddenly he pressed his lips to yours again, almost wishing you could kiss him back properly but appreciating that this was the best he could do for now— and it still did plenty for him, making his cock start to flex inside you as his second orgasm drew closer.

“You’ll make me come, baby— you’re so good, I’m gonna come in you again,” he whispered against your lips. “Oh, Liebling, you’re going to be so full of my come, do you think you can take it all? Can you take everything, baby?”

It was different from the first one: in some ways more intense, kind of building on the last, and in some ways more subdued as he knew a bit more of what to expect by now. But it was no less incredible, and he moaned loudly into his unrequited kiss as he filled you once again.

Once the most intense pangs of sensation had faded, once the ringing in his ears had stopped, and once he’d (mostly) caught his breath, he sat up slowly and looked down at where your bodies were joined. It had, understandably, made a bit of a mess to come inside you twice in a row— he hopped up from the beg on slightly-wobbly legs to retrieve a damp cloth, cleaning his cock first before giving your pussy at least a cursory, exterior wipe down like any gentleman would.

He knew there was no real point in getting you fully cleaned up since he’d be back to use you again soon enough. But that was a ways out from now since he definitely needed a while to recover.

With a parting kiss to your forehead and a brief search for his boxers, Alex left the bedroom to forage the kitchen for something to restore some energy. He settled on a coffee (there was still plenty of night left that he would definitely prefer to be awake for), an apple, and some orange-chocolate biscuits, which he enjoyed while he turned on the TV and watched whatever was left before the end of broadcast.

Of course, with nothing interesting to watch, he found himself not really paying much attention as his mind wandered to other things. Most of all, for the first time he considered his plan for after the pill wore off and you had questions. The most thorough solution would be to give you a bath to get his fingerprints off of your skin and his come out of you, then to redress you in your clothes from the bar and simply say that you passed out and he gave you the bed while he slept on the couch.

Another option, though more dangerous, might be a bit more fun: he could leave at least some of his come inside you before he redressed you, just to know he’d left a bit of himself behind.

And, of course, there was always his last resort, perhaps the most obvious but highest risk solution. He could admit that something had happened, but try to convince you that it was of your doing, a drunken initiation that you simply couldn’t remember. But even then, it would all depend on what you remembered of the moments at the bar before blacking out; and considering the thorough beating your pussy had been receiving so far tonight and would continue to be receiving, the odds were probably pretty low that he could convince your hungover self in the morning that nothing had happened. Not that Alex would know, but he had a pretty good feeling that a sore vagina is not a common side effect of a hangover for women.

His cock started to stir as he imagined the absolute best case scenario when you woke up in the morning.

Alex, what happened last night? Did we have sex?

Yes, baby, and it was amazing, I just wish you could remember it.

Oh, Alex, I’ve been waiting so long for you to just man up and take me— you’re all I ever wanted.

I know, baby, but I’m sorry I had to go about it that way, giving you that pill in your drink. I just had to be sure you wouldn’t say no to me, I couldn’t take it if you did.

I’d never say no to you, Alex, and I never, ever will. I wouldn’t even know how, not after last night— I know that we’re meant to be together now. You shouldn’t apologize for drugging me either, I should be thanking you. We can finally be together, I can finally be all yours… come here and make love to me again, I promise I’m going to remember it this time— I’ll remember it for the rest of my life.

And to make up for such a one-sided night of passion before, he decided that this time you’d be loud and proud, even bordering on dominant by riding him with reckless abandon— bouncing happily on his cock and bringing yourself pleasure like you’ve never known before. But, of course, you’d both be well aware who was really in charge, who you really belonged to.

Alex, I’m yours— my body is yours, my heart is yours, everything, it’s all yours… I swear, nobody’s ever made me feel like you do, you can have me whenever you want me— use me, Alex, I love you, I love you!

Fuck, he was hard again. Way harder than he had any right to be considering how he’d spent the night so far. He could even just barely see a little stain of precum on his boxers by the tip of his cock, hard to make out with only the dim, blue-ish glow of the TV to see by.

But thankfully, while you were here, no boner would go to waste— he stood up and stretched away the soreness that had settled in from sitting on the couch for a while, before walking to his bedroom and cracking the door open. You were laying there, exactly as he’d left you, and even though it was no surprise at all he still smiled to himself proudly.

“Hey baby,” he grinned as he slipped off his boxers and hopped onto the bed beside your motionless body, “you’ve been waiting for me, huh?”

He ran his fingers down your stomach, over your thighs, then came back up to start to touch your pussy. He still couldn’t believe how soft and silky it was, you were just too good to be true— and here you were, spread out on his bed for him to use as much as he liked, his best friend turned into his own personal sex doll.

The only shame was that the drug would wear off eventually, and he couldn’t just use you this way forever. It was only one night, at least until he found a way to do it again, and he needed to make the most of it.

So, not looking to waste any more time, he climbed up on top of you and rubbed his cock over your pussy— wet and spread out on display for him, though even wetter after he took a moment to pull back and spit on it— while his mouth laved at your hardening nipples. Honestly, he could probably come just from this, just from rubbing himself on you and sucking on your tits, but why do that when he could fuck you again?

He held your legs apart for himself as he pushed inside, purring as he felt your swollen channel struggle slightly to accommodate him. “Aw, it’s not too big for you, is it baby?” he taunted you with a smirk. “You can take it all, right? Yeah you can, that’s my good girl…”

He fucked you a little faster right away, focusing his hands and mouth on your breasts for a while and wondering if he might find the self-discipline to pull out and come on your tits this time. Probably not, but it was fun to imagine. He always thought your tits just deserved to be covered in his come, though, ever since you wore that one dress that showed them off just a little too much and it made him too horny to even really be jealous that you were putting yourself on display like that.

You dressed a little too provocatively, all things considered; he never got his head around on how all these controlling douchebag boyfriends of yours let you leave the house like that. If you were his girlfriend, he’d treat you loads better than any of them did, but one thing he’d be sure of is to dress you up in baggy sweatshirts as much as he could get away with. No more of those tops with the straps as thin as a noodle and the jeans so tight that every guy who walked by was obviously staring at you. A body as lovely as yours would need to stay Alex’s-eyes-only, if you two were ever going to end up together. But obviously, tonight proved that Alex was more confident than ever that that could never really happen. It was nice to play pretend for the night, though.

“You’re taking it so good, baby, look at you,” he groaned as he sat up a bit to get a glimpse of your cunt stretched wide around his cock. “Can you believe it fits? I can, I know you were made to take it— ‘cause you’re my girl, huh? All mine…”

For all intents and purposes, he was talking to himself; but as stupid as it was, it worked.

“Yeah, you’re all mine,” he continued, fucking you faster, “this pussy belongs to me, all my come inside it makes that pretty fucking clear, don’t you think? Such a beautiful little pussy and it’s all mine.”

Overcome by it all, he leaned down to rest his head beside yours while he fucked you, feeling a thin layer of sweat gather around most of his body from the exertion of fucking you as hard as he was.

“You’re never gonna let anybody else touch you,” he demanded against your shoulder, “‘cause you’re mine, baby, and nobody else is ever gonna fuck you… just me, you’re gonna be mine, Liebling.”

He heard you let out a little sigh and at first it was the hottest thing he’d ever experienced— the closest he’d ever gotten to hearing you moan for him— but then he pulled back and saw your eyes blinking open and staring straight up at him…

And suddenly it was the most terrifying thing he’d ever experienced.

A rush of adrenaline— much less enjoyable than before— shot through him and left him petrified as he stared back at you.

“...A-Alex?” you croaked out weakly. “What’s happening?”

Even in his state of terror, he was moving on pure instinct: and his instinct was to keep fucking you. He couldn’t stop, not even staring you down like this, not even moments away from facing the very terrible consequences of his very terrible actions. “You’re dreaming,” he blurted out suddenly, suppressing a moan as he felt you squirm a bit beneath him— it made you even tighter when you struggled. “This is just a dream…”

You reached up, a pathetically weak attempt to push him away, and he quickly pinned your arms down beside your head.

“You’re just dreaming, baby,” he repeated in a groan, “a really, really amazing dream.”

You whimpered a bit but didn’t say anything else, eyes falling shut again; he carefully leaned down to press his face into your neck, kissing along your pulse and up to your ear.

“You’ve dreamed about this before, haven’t you?” he whispered to you softly. “You’ve dreamed about how good it would be if you let your best friend fuck you. And it feels good, doesn’t it? I dreamed about this too. For as long as I knew you.”

When he looked up at your eyes again, they were still shut, and your breathing started to slow down again. He couldn’t say for sure that you were asleep quite in the same way you had been before, but you weren’t awake the way you’d been before, either.

The safest option, of course, would be to stop now— but he was too close to coming a third time and he just couldn’t bring himself to stop moving when the slick friction was just so fucking good.

He tried not to be too rough so he wouldn’t jostle you awake, and even just that took all that was left of his willpower; it wasn’t all too much later that he came inside you one last time, whispering to you about how this might be the last time, but that he hopes you enjoyed your strange little dream about making love with your best friend.

Truth be told, he didn’t mean to fall asleep in the manner that he did— that being on top of you— but the coffee did little to keep him up compared to the sedative of three orgasms and your perfect pussy keeping him warm all night…

By the time he woke up, though, you two had migrated apart slightly, though you were still tangled up in his arms with your head on his chest.

Smiling down at you, he let himself run his fingers lightly over your back, over your arm draped on his chest, before he felt you start to stir with the sunlight in the window shining on your face.

You hummed a little, starting to move, but he thought he might’ve caught the moment you realised you were laying next to someone— and you looked up at him with those pretty eyes all confused. “Alex?” you groaned.

“Morning,” he greeted, trying to mimic the hungover exhaustion that tinted your voice.

“Oh Christ are we—” you choked, glancing down at his bare chest. “I think we’re naked.”

“That… seems to be the case, yes,” he agreed awkwardly.

“Did we…?” you prompted, looking up at him in a way that made it painfully ambiguous what answer you might prefer.

“I don’t know, we were both pretty wasted,” he offered, banking on you not remembering him being much more composed than you when you passed out. “What do you remember last?”

“Um, the bar…” you trailed off. “And we were walking outside…”

“Yeah, that’s kind of where my memory cuts off, too,” he bluffed with a nervous chuckle.

He saw your eyes get wide for a second before they darted away, and he raised an eyebrow. “Oh… oh shit,” you choked as you sat up suddenly, trying to cover yourself as you searched near the bed for your discarded clothes.

“What? What’s going on?” he asked quickly.

“I, uh, remember one other thing,” you explained pointedly, finally finding your panties and slipping them back on under the covers.

“Well, what is it?” he asked, but you ignored him as you searched for your bra. “Hey,” he barked, grabbing your shoulder as he sat up, and finally you faced him again, “what do you remember?”

“Well,” you sighed, “I, uh… I think I can say with complete confidence that we fucked last night.”

“Wait, what? Are you sure?” he pressed, sitting up a little straighter.

“I… remember,” you explained, “just a little bit.”

He just prayed that you didn’t remember that little bit where he drugged you. “Well, what happened?”

“I don’t know, okay? I just remember you on top of me and—”

“And?”

You swallowed thickly, and he had to hide a smirk when he realized what the rest of your sentence was. And it felt good.

“I should go…” you mumbled awkwardly, and he reached out to grab your arm.

“Wait, please,” he begged, and you looked back at him with watery eyes. “Look, I’m not sure what happened last night, but maybe it wasn’t a mistake— I mean, how can we be sure if we don’t give it a shot?”

You tilted your mouth a bit as you considered it.

“I mean, they say alcohol takes away your inhibitions, not that it gives you new ideas, right?” he added. “So we both got way too drunk and… if this is where we ended up, then maybe this is what we both really wanted all along.”

He scooted a bit closer to you on the bed, wrapping his arms around you. You sighed as you leaned into his chest, relaxing a bit. “I just don’t want to lose this,” you breathed. “You know: this.”

“Of course,” he agreed, “we’re always gonna be best friends, nothing can change that.”

He leaned in to kiss your temple… then your cheek… then just below your ear...

“Alex,” you breathed as he slowly laid you down and pressed you back into the mattress, but you jumped a little bit when he pressed his cock against your thigh. “Alex!”

“C’mon, baby, let’s remember together,” he encouraged with kisses all over your neck, grinning as your back arched.

“But… but we’re just friends,” you protested.

“Not anymore,” he purred. “I don’t remember much, but I remember you begging me for more. You loved my cock way too much for us to just be friends now, Liebling.”

For all the conflict on your face, your legs spreading open for him was pretty unambiguous. Your mind might have missed the memo, but your body was already used to him. With you conscious he could make you come around him, he could hear you moan his name, he could make you beg him to come inside you… the possibilities were really endless.

He should’ve known he’d never have the self-control to let it just be one night; he was a goner from the beginning, he’d do anything to have you— lie, steal, kill, spike your drink— and he wasn’t going to let you get away so easily, not when you were finally right here in his arms.

“You’re gonna be mine, baby,” he whispered in your ear as he slowly pushed his cock inside you once again, “all mine.”

#dark!alex kerner x reader #alex kerner dark fic #alex kerner noncon #yep this is where we're at folks #daniel brühl x reader #daniel brühl dark fic

[babybluebex]

hi bex!! i love your works so much, and i know you have the danny bunch reacting to “put a baby in me,” but how would they react if reader was actually pregnant? thank you so much for taking the time to read this!!!!

hi there!! it's been a while since i've written a danny bunch list lmao, let's see if i still have it in me! maybe writing short headcanons will give me the juice to write longer things hehe

alex kerner: telling alex that you're pregnant is like a Big thing. you do it super nicely, arrange with ariane to have the apartment empty that night, and you present him with the multiple positive tests. his face goes all red and he mumbles "we're having a baby?🥺" from then on, he's a menace about you. he finds a good job and works a lot to save money so he can move out of his mother's apartment, and he does All the work when you're moving. he's convinced that you're like glass when you're pregnant and treats you gently. he'd build the crib and swear he doesn't need help, even if he curses and pinches his fingertips, but he gets it done. every night, he loves to hold you in bed and kiss your belly, even before you start showing. of course he's nervous about raising a child in the post-communist world bc he never really knew anything BUT that, but he'll do whatever it takes to make sure his baby is safe, happy, and healthy.

jan weingartner: ok i have a whole thing ab jan as a dad. he would be off doing his little revolution busking and of course you get pregnant by accident, but it doesn't stop him at all. when he holds rallys, people show up and ask him if he plans to raise his baby as anti-capitalist like him, and he's like "yeah?? that's the whole point, for future generations to benefit from the system that we advocate for". i feel like money would still be tight even if he got another job, so you guys stay in the apartment with jule and peter, but he likes having someone to watch over you when he's gone. he and peter keep on doing their edukator business but are a lot more careful now, and jan starts his petty thievery back up to get little things to get by. he'll softly sing to your belly at night, and he's so so tolerant of little things that your body does. like if you start lactating in public and it stains your shirt, he'll change shirts with you and give you his jacket to cover up. and yeah he's maybe a little sad that he can't take you on adventures to rooftops to drink cheap wine anymore, but he comes to find that he enjoys laying in bed and rubbing your tummy far more.

andrea marowski: ok andrea is Feral when you're pregnant. he already had like. Mommy Issues. we know this. and finding out that he's gonna be a dad is like not easy for him but he likes the thrill of it. he's infinitely clingier than he ever was before, he always wants to be holding you somehow. his arm around your shoulders, waist, holding your hand, stroking your knee with his thumb. he needs to be there all the time. he gets a nice little salary from the orchestra and from teaching private lessons so i imagine that money likely isn't an issue, and he'll be good and sweet to you whenever you're tired or your body hurts. he might also surprise you with a composition that he wrote in honor of your baby, and he'll hum it every time he touches your belly. he LOVES to kiss you all over too, any bit of your skin is going in his mouth if he can manage it. we KNOW how he is with breastfeeding lol so yeah he'll help relieve any pain, and he'll also go down on you a lot. he's another that thinks you're so sexy when you're pregnant, and he likes the idea of having you be pregnant several times. he's suddenly struck with the idea of having a lot of babies and having a whole litter around the house, and he's determined to have that future (as long as you do, obvi).

álex garel: i feel like, obviously, he's a little nervous about being a dad because even though eva was like. not a real child. he's still emotional over her loss and wants to make up for never being in her life, so he's going to be a great, GREAT dad. he'll take a sabbatical from teaching and spruce up the house to accommodate a baby, and he'll forever be building the baby little toys and small robots to play with. gris is a little jealous of all the attention that you're suddenly getting, but álex makes sure to cuddle him (almost) as much as he cuddles you. he also keeps you all bundled up in sweaters whenever you have to go outside because he's terrified of you catching a chill, and he'll kiss your cheeks every time. basically like 10/10 father-to-be

niki lauda: niki is a tough one, because i feel like it's easy to assume that he's gonna be pissy or whatever when you tell him you're pregnant, but he's not. you tell him, and his eyes go wide and he sorta laughs a little and goes "hmm. guess the condom broke. i'm really gonna be a dad?" like je's more awestruck than upset. you ask him not to stop racing because you know how much he lives for it and you can't ask him to stop just because of you, and he's like "no no no, if i die on that track and leave you alone with that baby, i'll be going to hell". he takes the next season off and settles you in italy so that he can still work closely with ferrari, and every week a package will come from a driver congratulating you and niki. your favorite was a small basket from james hunt, containing a bottle of sparkling grape juice with a note not as god as the real stuff but what can you do? ;) he'd use his garage ingenuity to make all of the baby stuff, the crib and dresser and changing table, and you have to fight him on naming your kid after ferrari. (of course, once the baby's born, he gets them a little red ferrari jumpsuit to wear on race days)

baron zemo: listen, zemo has a LOT of trauma revolving children. like. it's a hallmark of his character. he wouldn't be the zemo we know and love if he didn't know how losing a child felt. so, you approach the conversation very seriously and carefully. you tell him that you understand that this is hard for him and you'll accommodate him wherever you can, and you expect zemo to get emotional and leave the room, but he just hugs you so, so tightly. he might cry a little bit and later pretend like he did nothing of the sort, and he promises you that he'll love and cherish this child with everything he has in him, even if it kills him. he doesn't really lay off of the illegal goings-on, but you find out that, even though he's STILL being an international menace, he's got a nice tidy savings set aside for you in case something happens to him. he'll be a perfect house-spouse too when you're pregnant: he'll make you tea all the time and deliver it to you in bed, he'll fly in your favorite sweets from paris or japan if you were craving it, and he def goes overboard on getting stuff for the baby. outfits, stuffed animals, toys, everything; if he thinks it might be used, he's getting it. and uncles bucky and sam are super good with you too. if zemo ever has to be separated from you at any point during your pregnancy, he's employing bucky and/or sam to watch over you. "you protect my draga and my beba with your life. do you understand me?"

schmidt: schmidt is another one where he initially seems abrasive and like you're a little nervous to tell, but he takes off his glasses and wipes his eyes and hugs you. he'll be a really capable father-to-be, he keeps his cool like 99% of the time and does a lot for you, and he won't tolerate you getting up and doing too much physical work when you're pregnant. he wants you to be as comfortable and at ease as possible. he'll wash your hair for you when you take a bath and make you dinner and everything. he'll probably lower his hours at nasa, even though you tell him not to, but he wants to be with you at all times. he'll call your baby his little star, and he'll draw on your belly and connect your freckles and smile at his star's constellation

laszlo kreizler: i mean, i covered this PRETTY extensively in my series good doctor kreizler so i won't really repeat what i said there, but he's a great father-to-be and is very attentive of your needs and will literally go to the ends of the earth to provide for you.

#bex answers #anon #the danny bunch #danny bunch #alex kerner #goodbye lenin! #jan the edukators #jan weingartner #the edukators #die fetten jahre sind vorbei 2004 #andrea marowski #ladies in lavender #alex garel #álex garel #eva 2009 #niki lauda #rush 2013 #baron zemo #helmut zemo #zemo #ca:cw #tfatws #ernst schmidt #the cloverfield paradox #laszlo kreizler #dr laszlo kreizler #the alienist #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl

[lost-in-sokovia]

what disney movies i’d make the danny bunch watch with me

me: soph you have so many good, promising wips in your drafts!! finish those first!! also me: im sad and tired and i just buried two of my grandparents i need this🤍🤍 lol i apologize in advance and im so sorry i haven’t come out with much, it’s been a long 2 weeks

zemo: WE’RE WATCHING FROZEN 2. FOR WHAT REASON? IDK I JUST LOVE THAT MOVIE AND WANT TO EXPERIENCE IT WITH HIM. i think zemo would recognize it’s absolutely phenomenal and breathtaking cinematography like i do because ✨he’s an observant and appreciative babe✨ also what if he can translate “all is found” into like, sokovian?🥺🥺 and it’s probably funny because he probably gets into the habit of humming it and one day sam hears him and is like “…is that frozen 2?” and zemo’s like “…maybe it is…” and sam would just kinda look at him and nod and just move on. but yes im watching frozen 2 with zemo (also side note sam is probably one of those people who thinks frozen 1 is better and i would definitely work my ass off to convince him otherwise)

alex kerner: treasure planet treasure planet treasure planet. i mean come on- he’s got that whole space obsession thing going on and plus alex has got MAJOR jim vibes. i think he would enjoy that movie (even though he would probably claim he doesn’t) but like im sure on the inside he wishes/imagines he’s jim and is doing all the space stuff that happens in the movie. you’d probably come home one day to him watching it with paula and you’d be like “hm, thought you didn’t like this movie that much?” and he’d be like “well i mean… i-it’s a kid’s movie, so…”

niki lauda: i know what you’re thinking; cars. nope. i absolutely refuse. this man will be watching luca with and will be respectfully keeping his mouth shut the entire time. there will be no disrespect coming out of that mouth during the course of the movie, and he will let me soak his shirt in tears at the end when im sobbing against his chest. he’d probably ask questions like “why didn’t the boy just run away sooner? it seems easy enough” or like, critique the vespa driving abilities of children (“niki these are fake children, calm down”), but he would probably like it on the inside and would warm up to it the more he watches it

jan weingartner: okay we’re watching the emperor’s new groove. it’s a classic and it’s just really funny, and the easiest for you to somehow relate to capitalism for him when he asks what the point of watching this movie is. “not that i don’t love watching movies with you, but remind me what significance this movie has to capitalism?” “well… like,,, uh,,- kuzco like, wants to move pacha and his family and their village out so he can build his summer home, and that’s like, really crappy. and plus he like, is a bitch to everyone in his kingdom or whatever, so…” “that was a major stretch, but you’re lucky this movie is cute i guess”

laszlo kreisler: I’D MAKE THIS BITCH WATCH COCO WITH ME. HANDS DOWN. i think he would think the songs and the representation of the culture are beautiful, and tbh he’d probably cry just as much as all of us did when we watched it for the first time (and im assuming y’all cried too because if you didn’t then im gonna have to question your character). i think considering everything he deals with, having a movie like this to go to would almost like, give him comfort because even though not everyone celebrates dia day los muertos or believes that that’s where people go in the afterlife, it’s something for him to kinda cling on to? anyway, this man is a coco bitch and i will accept no arguments

andrea marowski: tangled for this baby. i think he would like the absolutely BEAUTIFUL music, and would like the plot and the characters. i think “i see the light” would make him cry and i think he’d learn “the kingdom dance” on violin because uhm hello it’s beautiful? i think that movie makes that baby’s serotonin boost because, i think he’s like a rapunzel variant almost. he gives me her vibes. they both just have hearts of gold and i think he would love watching that movie and it would become a comfort movie for him

#the danny bunch #the danny bunch hc #zemo x reader #niki lauda x reader #jan weingartner x reader #laszlo kreizler x reader #alex kerner x reader #andrea marowski x reader #daniel bruhl #daniel bruhl headcanons

[thedaisycrownwitch]

SIMP ANNOUNCEMENT

So, I won't change the name of this blog, because there is big nostalgia attached to it,

EDIT: I changed the name. RIP my promise.

but I also wanna share with you guys my absolute WILD love I have developed for Baron Zemo and Daniel Brühl in general, over the last couple of months.

First, how did this happen?

I literally have no heckin idea, my friend wanted me to watch FATWS, because she likes Bucky and wanted to write a Marvel RP with me. So I started watching, and then the 3rd episode came on and oh boi, Zemos pure existence made my heart beat a bit faster.

From then on, I went down the full Daniel Brühl rabbit hole, watching movies of him left and right, loving his work. And thats how we ended up here.

What movies of him do you like the most?

Ich und Kaminski has shaped into my comfort movie over the last couple of months, when I feel bad, I watch it. Sebastian Zöllner is the loveliest asshole I can imagine.

Cloverfield Paradox would be my second pic. I'm just a sucker for sci-fi and that just hits that nerve. Also Ernst Schmidt is my space meow meow, I wuv him sm.

Other then that...Rush is pretty neat, Good-Bye Lenin is cute (Alex issa baby and he likes stars and space and he wanted to become and astronaut omg i love him so much 🥺) and Face of an Angel is heckin weird (but Thomas Lang hot af, so idc)

What are your favourite Daniel Brühl Characters?

Oh god, don't make me choose, thats so hard 😭 I'll give you like my top 5 and the rest is about equal in how much I like them.

Sebastian Zöllner (Ich und Kaminski)

Tonda (Krabat)

Baron Helmut Zemo (MCU)

Ernst Schmidt (The Cloverfield Paradox)

Alex(ander) Kerner (Good-Bye Lenin)

Notable Mentions: Jan (The Edukators), Hans Krämer (The Coming Days), Escherich (Alone in Berlin), Hubertus Czernin (Woman in Gold), Wilfried Böse (7 Days in Entebbe)

You already got fanart, didn't you?

Okay, listen. I- When I fall down into the simp hole, I kinda had to. Soo...here's the fanart I got with small descriptions, as well as the artists who made it, in case you'd like to commission them as well ❤

So there first two are fanarts with Zemo and the new OC I made for him, kind of? Her name is Katharina Mühlendorf and she works with the air force. Much like Sam, she was trained in using the Falcon Glider, and carried out missions during the blip. She's friends with Sam and Torres, so Sam pulled her in on the mission in Madripoor, where she acted as Sams (or rather Smiling Tiger's body guard). And she just fell hard for Zemo simply being Zemo, because why the heck not and hot sokovian man hot.

Meggsssart: https://instagram.com/meggsssart - tdk: https://twitter.com/KitKombat?s=09

And then there are just the ones with me and Zemo...or a marvel version of me? Idk, just Zemo and me, okey?

Potadumplin: https://twitter.com/potadumpling?s=09 - Shinkomiii: https://twitter.com/shinkomiii?s=09

You are pairing your OCs with canon characters...?

Yes, and there is nothing you can do about it.

You know what? I like doing it. My OC Yule and Tonda are my favourite couple at the moment, she's a white (green) magic witch, he's a dark wizard with deep sadness. They are baby, they are cute, I love them, and I won't let anyone ruin them for me!

(I'm so sorry for the bad photoshop, I wipped dis up in 5 minutes 😭)

#daniel brühl #baron helmut zemo #baron zemo #marvel #marvel oc #oc #witchoc #tonda krabat #i just think hes neat #i just think they're cute #i will never shut up about the yin-yang thing tonda and yule have

[fuddlewuddle]

Alex kerner would be so eager to please bucky and zemo if he ever met them. I can imagine that poor being such a pillow princess that gets doted on

I like to think that Zemo and Bucky would dote on all the other ‘Zemo Pokemon’ they come across.

Alex does seem like one that would have a big praise kink and like to please them though. He’d probably constantly want cuddles and them to pet his hair too. 😆

#thank you for the anon #winterbaron #alex kerner #daniel brühl

[sub-danny]

Listen I’m very subby myself but I’d also tie up Alex Kerner’s hands and ride him for hours til we were both crying 🏃💨

He has such a pretty face and I know for sure he would look beautiful crying. Just imagining ropes tying him down, leaning him unable to move at all on the bed and just have you on top of him, bringing him pleasure again and again until he can't cum anymore and is very overstimulated. His flush face with tear stains as he is still moaning your name as you ride him to oblivion. Now that's hot and is all I will be thinking about for the rest of my day 🥵 I would so do the exact same thing anon and enjoy every moment deeply.

#subdanielbrühl #sub!alex #overstimulation

[bruhlsbees]

sweet disposition: 1/? || femaleprofessor!reader x modern!alex kerner

hi bestie hehe i’d like to request a little series for you, sub! a little jealous modern alex keener (of age) x professor! f reader (late 20’s) - shes an english romantic lit professor & her “love interest” is a film professor who is one of alex’s shared teacher. alex has a little crush on her, and knows the film teacher is after her. super fluffy, smut maybe??? u decide baby, im just so excited eeeeek!!!

summary: alex kerner is a senior film student and develops a crush for his friend, denis, english professor

pairing: modern!alex kerner and professor!reader

warnings: age gap (alex is 22 and reader is 32), wet dream, sweet sweet pathetic boy, nsfw, 18+, minors dni

word count: 4,387

a/n: thank you for the request @gotmadison ily sweet gal!! this will be a short fic series i write and will post probably throughout the coming weekend! :) please enjoy and if you have any requests or asks please send them in!!!

For Alex Kerner, a senior film student, nothing bored him more than the first day of a new unit. He knew what to expect - twenty plus slides about some dead, or borderline dead, director while connecting their life to the style of films they did and how it related to whatever political controversy was going down at the time. Alex knew that there was a reason for going into so much history to better understand the meaning of the films, but jesus did it have to drag for so long?

The auditorium that Alex’s class was held in was larger, although the class was rather small. There were maybe, at most, thirty students in his class, including him, which felt empty as the auditorium they were in was meant to hold almost double that. Alex didn’t mind though, of all the rows, he was the only one in the back, taking the middle seat - of course, the best view to see a film. He recognized a lot of the faces in his class, as it was a senior level class, but he didn’t bother to converse with many.

It wasn’t that he was shy, not overly at least, he just didn’t care to make friends. It was an afternoon class, he was just getting out of work to rush to his class, and far too exhausted to try and fake being friendly…hence him sitting in the back, all alone. 

The ‘Authorship in Cinema’ course he was currently in was held twice a week - both two hours long. The first class of the week was held for lectures and the second class was held for the film screening. The university was just getting back from winter break, continuing into the last half of the semester. In Alex’s class they had finished their unit on Roman Polanski before the break and they came into the next covering Krzysztof Kieślowski. Alex was thrilled to say the least about not having to listen to his film professor rave on Polanski. Even after discussing Polanski’s case, his professor still seemed to idolize the man.

Alex was not fond of his film professor. He was a younger professor, maybe in his late thirties, early forties, and he seemed to praise the worst directors he could find. His name was Jaxon Thorne and was the staple image of a douche. He always wore faded jeans that were tight in the crotch, scuffed up sneakers that he always tried to pass as being cool, and a sweater with a scarf - even though they were inside. He truly didn’t get how girls liked the man. Alex wouldn’t lie though, some of his opinions were interesting, but the guy loved to hear himself talk, that much was obvious. 

They weren’t even at the tenth slide yet when Alex felt himself beginning to doze off. Work had been busy today, fixing satellites and dealing with prissy wives and their drunk husbands. He was almost late getting to class with all the traffic that was on the highway. The last thing he wanted to do was attend class. It took everything in him not to put his head down and go to sleep right there. He had done it before, and that was a mistake he would never make again. Waking up to everyone staring and snickering while the teacher was hovering over you meant for a lasting effect.

But Alex just couldn’t take it, he was so bored with Kieślowski’s early work. The documentaries of everyday lives for city dwellers, workers, and soldiers could not keep his attention even if he wasn’t tired. He sunk down into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest, before craning his head to the side on his shoulder. His blinking became slow, desperately trying to stay awake and pay attention, but his eyes grew heavy, and before he knew it, his mouth was gaped open, drool slipping out of the corner of his lips.

He didn’t know how long he had dozed off for, but when he woke up he heard the projector screen zip up and the lights click on. Jumping slightly, Alex sat back up, feeling the stickiness of his drool on his face. With a groan, he wiped his face with the sleeve of his jean jacket before beginning to pack his things up into his bag.

“On Wednesday we will dive into his documentary, Workers, and discuss the censorship aspect of it. Come prepared to watch the screening and discuss afterwards. If anyone has any questions or comments, I’ll be staying after for a few minutes.” 

Rolling his eyes, Alex pushed himself out of his chair, swinging his bag over his shoulder before rushing out the back door at the top of the auditorium. He couldn’t have gotten out of there fast enough to avoid his teacher from going off on an ‘intellectual conversation’ on their new unit. Barf.

Alex was happy though to finally be out of class and to enjoy his hour and a half break before his next class. He knew he should have been finalizing what project he wanted to submit for critique in his senior portfolio, but he needed something to wake him up. 

As he turned the hallway, going to leave the building, he stopped by the vending machine and pulled out a crinkled bill from his pocket, pushing it into the machine before pressing the buttons to get a bottle of Coke. To his luck, however, the machine stalled, the bottle retriever getting stuck in front of the row and producing an obnoxious ‘whirring’ noise. 

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me!” Gripping the side of the vending machine, Alex shook the machine roughly, rocking the broken vending machine back and forth until setting it back, sending a punch to the front of it.

“Woah, woah! Jesus man what did that vending machine do to you?”

Turning his head, Alex’s glare softened at the sight of his friend, Denis, approaching him. Denis, with his books still in his hands, tucked them under his arm as he stood in front of the machine, watching as the machine stalled with Alex’s bottle of Coke.

“The stupid thing got stuck! Is it too much to ask for a bottle of co-”

Before he could finish his sentence, the machine began to work again, grabbing the bottle and dispensing it below. Staring blankly at the bottom, his lips pulled into a tight line, Alex could only feel the embarrassment settling in - and it didn’t help to hear Denis laugh at how ridiculous he reacted.

“Oh my god, dude, you seriously need to take it easy. Did work kill you that bad?” Denis asked, watching as Alex bent down to pull out the bottle, standing back up as he began unscrewing the cap, guzzling the pop down. 

Nodding his head, Alex screwed the cap back on before tucking the bottle in his bag, hiccuping at the carbonation before sighing, “Yeah, and it doesn’t help that I gotta go to Professor Dick’s class right after.” 

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Denis nodded, listening to Alex as he vented, “Yeah, Thorne’s a real piece of work. But hey! Only gotta deal with him for another semester after this. Who knows, maybe he will knock a student up and ditch down?”

The fantasy would have been nice to come true, but Alex knew that it would stay just that - a fantasy. Thorne was a questionable guy, with interesting ideas and made borderline inappropriate comments towards the female students in all his classes…but that was just it, he could charm anyone he wanted, and that’s how he stayed around.

“Yeah, maybe when dogs walk on two legs…” Alex mumbled, pressing his knuckles to his eyes and rubbing the sleep out of them, a yawn escaping his lips. 

As he dropped his hands down to his side, he felt Denis nudge him in the arm, groaning at the contact as he was too tired to have any contact, “You got class at seven right?”

Nodding, Alex blinked, a tired smile on his face as he smacked his lips, “Yeah…seven to nine, best time of day to have a senior portfolio workshop.” 

Denis laughed at the sarcastic comment, mentioning that it could’ve been worse and be at seven in the morning than at night. Alex, however, couldn’t see how anything could be worse than an evening class after a long day of work.

“Listen, I got my ‘Romanticism in Literature’ class in a few…why don’t you come with me? My teacher’s pretty cool and I’m sure she won’t mind if you sit in. I’m in the back anyways so she probably won’t even realize. She’s got pretty bad vision I’ve realized. I think she said that her glasses don’t got the right prescription or somethin. She’s always runnin late and claims she never has time to put her contacts in.” 

The detailed explanation of the professor’s vision made Alex laugh, shaking his head as Denis looked at him confused, cheeks red, “What? It’s what she’s told us! She’s always coming in late. I wouldn’t be surprised if she came in late this time around. She’s got office hours before class, so she probably gets held up with a student.”

“Sounds like you’re in love with her, is that right, Denny Boy? Someone’s gotta crush on the teacher? Ain’t that every high school kid’s fantasy? Get the hots for the teacher?” 

Scoffing, Denis rolled his eyes at Alex’s teasing and shoved him in the arm, “No man, come on now, it ain’t like that. Look if you don’t wanna come I don’t care, but I gotta go before I’m late.”

Holding his hands up in defense, Alex trailed behind Denis, going back in the direction he originally came from, “Hey, hey, I was only kidding, don’t gotta get defensive. I’ll take along, hopefully I won’t fall asleep in this class. Why you even taking this class anyways?”

Following Denis into the class, the auditorium setup similar to the one he just came out of, except smaller, Alex sat beside Denis in the back row, watching as the class filled up, only a few seats not filled. 

“I guess I gotta earn some more credits outside my degree, this was the only one that wasn’t completely filled up yet and it worked with my schedule. It ain’t too bad, she gives us a lot of free time to work.” 

Watching as Denis set his bag down beside him, opening his textbook to where they left off the other day, Alex watched Denis prep for the class, the teacher not in sight. Alex figured that the teacher must have been running late, like Denis said she always did, but he couldn’t help but wonder how long it’d be before she even showed up.

Fifteen minutes after class was supposed to begin the front door ripped open, slamming shut seconds after while heels frantically clicked towards the desk in the front of class.

“Sorry I’m late! I got caught up with another professor. I hope you all enjoyed your winter breaks and are happy to be back. I know I’m thrilled to be back!” 

The sweet voice caught Alex’s attention, his eyes pulling from his cell phone and to the front of the class where the professor had just walked in. He felt his mouth fall open slightly, catching it before Denis noticed his reaction.

He was expecting an old lady for Denis’ class, someone who was on the edge of death and smelled of cats. What he found, however, was someone the complete opposite. Younger, curvier, and the scent that filled the room when she entered was warm - like she just finished drinking a cup of coffee.

Her hair was pulled back into a messy bun, bangs hanging low over her eyes, covering the tops of her crooked frames. She couldn’t have been all that older than him, maybe mid-thirties at max. He didn’t notice what she was wearing below, but the shirt she wore clung to her so well, the outline of her fuller chest displayed with her necklace dipping into her cleavage. 

‘Good God, Alex, get a hold of yourself.’

Alex watched the professor, noticing her speaking although his lusted thoughts deafened his ears. He assumed she was asking how the break went and if anyone did anything fun because a few people raised their hands, a kind smile on her face as she listened to her students.

“That’s great to hear, Polly! You’ll have to show me the photos you took sometime. I have never been to that side of the country before,” Her head shifted towards the other side of the room, looking up at the higher rows. “Did anyone else have anything to share about their break?”

Denis’ professor sat patiently and listened to everyone who wanted to share, giving everyone the opportunity to discuss their breaks before she opened up her laptop to get started with class. Alex watched as she picked up the remote and pointed it to the projector box, the screen coming down beside her with her computer screen displayed.

Her home screen featured what he assumed to be her and some friends. He recognized a few of the people in the photo as they were also professors at the university - what made Alex turn his nose, however, was right beside her - in all his douchebag glory, Jaxon Thorne. Before he could make a cohesive thought, the photo went away and a slideshow on Mary Shelley appeared…and maybe for the better.

“Okay everyone! As mentioned in the email, we are gonna be diving into Mary Shelley’s novel Frankenstein for this part of the semester,” She began, her warm smile still ignited, chuckling lightly as some of the students up front became uneasy in their seats, excited for the novel, “I’m glad to hear we have some fans. Now, I promised that I wouldn’t give you any reading over break, but because of that we will be reading quite a bit over the next few weeks.”

The slide shifted to the reading guide and what chapters were due when. Alex watched as some students scribbled the due dates down while others pulled out their cell phones, snapping a photo before stuffing their phones away. 

“For Wednesday I would like you all to have read the preface and letters one through four. Come prepared to discuss your analyses of the text and any questions you may have. Of course, I’ll have my office hours open tomorrow and Wednesday before class, but if there are any questions, you can send me an email and I’ll try to get back with you in a timely manner.” 

The rest of class seemed to lull by, Alex’s gaze fixed on the professor that continued to go over what the last half of the semester would look like, answering the occasional question, before finally it was time to pack up and go. Frowning, Alex shifted in his seat, looking at Denis who was packing things up in his bag. 

“It’s over?” Alex asked, eyebrows furrowed, a pathetic frown on his face.

Looking up from his bag, Denis smiled, nodding, “Yeah man, it is. Why? You fall in love with Mary Shelley?” Standing up, Denis pushed his seat under the table and shrugged his shoulders, “I mean, if it works for your schedule and you’re interested, maybe go up and ask if you can enroll. I don’t know if you’ll be able to with it being so late in the semester, but it’s worth a shot,” Glancing down at his watch, Denis sighed, “Look, I gotta run, but let me know how it goes, okay?” Patting Alex’s back, Denis rushed up the stairs and out the back door, fleeing the auditorium to get to his next class on time.

Meanwhile, Alex kept seated, watching as the professor talked with some students who approached her desk after class, laughing and admiring the editions of Frankenstein that students presented. Was this how professors could be with their students? Actually caring and involved? It seemed like Alex had poor luck with his own professors - either they were old as a bat and didn’t know how to work the computer, or they were a presumptuous dick.

When the students began to flock out, already discussing how they were looking forward to Wednesday’s class, Alex finally stood up, pulling his bag over his shoulder and making his way down the auditorium steps. She hadn’t noticed him as he walked, writing something down in her planner. As he stood now in front of her, he cleared his throat awkwardly, gaining her attention as she looked up, squinting before taking her glasses off.

“Hello,” he began shyly, adjusting the strap of his bag, “I’m Alex. My friend, Denis, he’s in your class.” 

At the mention of Denis, she smiled and nodded, “Yes! Denis, nice boy he is,” She adjusted her position in her seat, leaning back slightly, “I-I’m sorry, are you in my class? I don’t believe I’ve ever see-”

“No! I mean, no, no I’m not in your class. I have a free hour before my next class and Denis invited me to sit in for this one,” He rushed, cheeks red as he realized how abruptly he had interrupted her, “I’m sorry, um, yeah I just came down because I really enjoyed your lecture today. I was curious if there was any way I could maybe enroll? I know it’s late in the semester, but I did enjoy today.” 

The cheeky smile faded into a sadder, smaller smile. She chewed on her bottom lip before leaning forward again, crossing her arms over chest, accentuating her cleavage that Alex desperately tried not to stare at.

“Oh, I’m sorry Alex, but I don’t think I can convince the department to let you in this late in the semester. I love your enthusiasm with the course and would love to have you in my class, but I don’t think I can make that happen.” Her smile dropped to a frown when she saw the visible disappointment in Alex’s face before bending over to open her bag, pulling out a copy of Frankenstein, handing it to Alex.

Looking down at the copy, Alex opened the cover, reading what he assumed to be her name in the cover, before flipping through the pages, a weak smile on his face, trying his best to not look so pathetic in front of her.

“How about this? I probably shouldn’t, but if you want to sit in on the days you’re free, you’re more than welcome to. I’ll forward you the reading guide so you can keep up with us, but you won’t earn any credit in this class. Is that okay?” 

His frown turned into a grin, looking up from the book, Alex nodded, his cheeks pink as his toothy crooked grin spread across his face, “Yeah, yes. Thank you,” Tugging down the front of his striped blue shirt, he cleared his throat awkwardly, looking down at the book before back up at her, “Um, so when are your office hours? Just in case I have any questions?”

Letting out a faint ‘ah’, she opened her notebook and scribbled some notes down, tearing off the paper and handing it to Alex, “You’re more than welcome to shoot me an email though if you need help outside of my office hours. Or you can call my office number, sometimes I answer it.” She admitted, her own cheeks going pink at the confession.

Smiling, Alex looked down at the paper and made a mental note to remember all that she had given him.

My email,

My office number,

Office hours are M&W: 3-5:15 and T&R: 1-2

Class takes place on M&W from 5:30-6:30

:)

The smile she left on the page made Alex’s stomach flutter. His thumb ran along the smiley face before he looked up, thanking her quietly for the note. She was sweet, almost too sweet for Alex to absorb, like he was in a sugar coma and begging for more. 

“Of course, it was nice to meet you Alex. I’m looking forward to seeing you in class. I don’t mean to run off, but I’m to meet another professor here in a couple minutes and don’t need to be lectured on being late.”

When she stood up, Alex’s face went hot. The flowy flower blouse that showed more cleavage than he had seen on a professor before was tucked into a tight jean skirt, clinging to her hips in all the right places, a thick black belt holding it all together. If it weren’t for the fact that he was right in front of her, he probably would have started drooling. 

Packing up her desk, she stuffed her things in her bag, throwing her sweater over her shoulder before throwing her bag around her, moving around the desk to stand beside it now, looking up at Alex. He noted how she was shorter, the heels helping her with height, and how good her legs looked in them. Clearing his throat, he shifted his bag around him to sit in front of his pants, attempting to hide any possible pop-up in his jeans.

“If you’re free tomorrow, stop by my office hours. I’ll even buy you a coffee if it’s too early for you. I know you college boys stay up far too late. I can only imagine what your mothers think.” She teased, shaking her head and she turned and began to head out of the room, hearing Alex keep tight on her trail. 

Turning off the lights and letting him leave first, she shut the door behind her and stood beside Alex, motioning towards the English department office, “I’ll see you tomorrow, or Wednesday, my office is the last one on the right. I’ll be sure to leave my door open!” 

Nodding, Alex smiled and waved goodbye as she waved back, rushing down the hall and weaving through the students to get into the office. Letting out a sigh, Alex leaned against the doorway, processing his first encounter with the professor, the boyish lust grin stuck on his face.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Panting hard, Alex gripped her hips tight, his fingers digging into her plush figure, grunting as he snapped his hips into her from behind, her pillowed ass meeting him with each thrust. The sweat that built up on him was beginning to fall down face, trailing down his neck and chest. 

Tangling his right hand into her hair, his left still placed on her hips, Alex pulled her locks gently, smiling at the sound of her wanton moan, her eyes rolling back into her head. 

“A-Alex! Oh god, Alex, I don’t think I’m going to last. F-Fuck!” 

Feeling his own climax build, Alex let out a shaky breath as he bent down craning his neck to kiss her lips as he continued to rut inside of her, his thrusts becoming sloppy and quicker.

The sensation became too much too quickly, his legs shaking as he kneeled behind her befo-

Jolting awake, the obnoxious phone alarm woke Alex from his dream, resulting in a now completely frustrated mood. While still on his back, Alex reached behind him on the shelf that rested behind his bed frame, pulling his phone up and looking at the screen, squinting to gain his vision from waking up, the bright screen burning his eyes.

When he unlocked his phone and opened it, prompting him to his email, his frown lit up and turned into a smile, seeing her name in his inbox.

Good evening, Alex!

I’m sorry this is so late, I’m finally getting back to my apartment and wanted to send this your way before I forgot. Here is the reading guide for the rest of the semester and that information I shared with you earlier in case you lost it.

I look forward to seeing you in my office tomorrow or Wednesday. I hope you have a good night! :)

Best!

Alex’s mood quickly shifted after reading the email. While he was disappointed that the wet dream he was having with her ended so soon, he was more than pleased to see that he had an email from her. Clicking his phone off, Alex tossed his phone onto his bed, sitting up with his hand behind him to keep him up.

His room illuminated a red/orange hue from the lava lamp that sat on his dresser in the corner of his room. Turning his attention towards the window, he looked behind the blinds to see the city life outside his apartment lit up, the sound of music coming from the club down the road and laughs from those partying. 

Letting out a yawn, Alex shook his head and rubbed his face, shifting his legs before stopping quickly, feeling the mess in his boxers. Looking down, Alex groaned seeing the stain in his boxers, pressing his hand to feel the wet spot before sighing, standing up. He pulled his boxers carefully off, tossing them into his laundry basket before making his way into the bathroom to clean up. 

When he entered the small bathroom that was connected to his room, he hissed at the bright light as it came on, looking at himself in the mirror. His hair was tangled up, sticking out on the sides and his eyes were squinted, too tired to open them fully. Shaking his head, Alex climbed into the shower and started the water, the cold water hitting him both waking him up and cooling himself down.

He was absolutely and pathetically smitten over her. There was no doubt about it. Since leaving her class, the only thoughts that occupied his mind were of her. He had already planned out what he would wear tomorrow when he went to her office hours. It was pathetic, truly, with how quickly he was letting the woman ruin him. It was ridiculous to say, no doubt, because what would happen between them? Nothing. Not a single thing would come between the two other than a conversation about Frankenstein, maybe a personal question here and there.

Or so he thought.

#submissions #submission #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl #daniel bruehl #daniel brühl imagine #daniel bruhl imagine #goodbye lenin #good bye lenin #alex kerner #alex kerner imagine #alex kerner smut #alex kerner x reader #au #college au #modern au #sweet disposition

[enbycarp]

Transcript of the last image with links:

What you just read was written by Mariame Kaba.

Support and donate to her organization, Project NIA, a grassroots organization with a vision to end youth incarceration.

Listen to her tell the people’s history of prisons on the Intercepted podcast.

Read the article “What Abolitionists Do” on Jacobin by Dan Berger, Mariame Kaba, and David Stein.

The rest of the transcript below the cut:

Yes, we mean

Literally Abolish the Police

Written by Mariame Kaba for New york Times Opinioon

Mariame Kaba is, in her own words, and organizer, educator and curator. Her work focuses on ending violence, dismantling the prison industrial complex, transformative justice, and supporting youth leadership development

We can’t reform the police.

The only way to diminish police violence is to reduce contact between the public and the police.

There is not a single era in United Sates history in which the police were not a force of violence against black people.

Policing in the South emerged from the slave patrols in the 1700 and 1800s that caught and returned runaway slaves.  In the North, the first municipal police departments in the mid 1800s helped quash labor strikes and riots against the rich.  Everywhere, they have suppressed marginalized populations to protect the status quo.

So when you see a police officer pressing his knee into a black man’s neck until he dies, that’s the logical result of policing in America.

When a police officer brutalizes a black person, he is doing what he sees as his job.

Now two weeks of nationwide protests have led some to call for defunding the police, while others argue that doing so will make us less safe.

The first thing to point out is that police officers don’t do what you think they do. They spend most of their time responding to noise complaints, issuing parking and traffic citations, and dealing with other non-criminal issues.  We’ve been taught to think they “catch the bad guys; they chase the bank robbers; they find the serial killers,” said Alex Vitale, the coordinator of the Policing and Social Justice Project at Brooklyn College, in an interview with Jacobin.  But this is “a big myth,” he said.  “The vast majority of police officers make one felony arrest a year.  If they make two, they’re cop of the month.”

We can’t simply change their job descriptions to focus on the worst of the worst criminals.  That’s not what they are set up to do.

Second, a “safe” world is not one in which the police keep black and other marginalized people in check through threats of arrest, incarceration, violence and death.

Regardless of your view on police power--whether you want to get rid of the police or simply make them less violent--here’s an immediate demand we can all make: cut the number of police in half and cut their budget in half.  Fewer police officers equals fewer opportunities for them to brutalize and kill people.  The idea is gaining traction in Minneapolis, Dallas, Los Angeles and other cities.

After the 1967 urban uprisings, the Kerner Commission released a now-familiar set of recommendations, like working to build “community support for law enforcement” and reviewing police operations “in the ghetto, to ensure proper conduct by police officers.”

These commissions didn’t stop the violence; they just served as a kind of counterinsurgent function each time police violence led to protests.

Calls for similar reforms were trotted out in response to the brutal police beating of Rodney King in 1991 and the rebellion that followed, and again of the killings of Michael Brown and Eric Garner.

The final report of the Obama administration’s President’s Task Force on 21st Century Policing resulted in procedural tweaks like implicit-bias training, police-community listening sessions, slight alterations of use-of-force policies and systems to identify potentially problematic officers early on.  But even a member of the task force, Tracey Meares, noted in 2017,

“policing as we know it must be abolished before it can be transformed.”

The philosophy undergirding police reforms is that more rules will mean less violence... but police officers break rules all the time.

Look what has happened over the past few weeks--police officers slashing tires, shoving old men on camera, and arresting and injuring journalists and protesters.  These officers are not worried  about repercussions any more than Daniel Pantaleo, the former New York City police officer whose chokehold led to Eric Garner’s death; he waved to a camera filming the incident.  He knew that the police union would back him up and he was right.  He stayed on the job for five more years.

Minneapolis had instituted many of these “best practices” but failed to remove Derek Chauvin from the force despite 17 misconduct complaints over nearly two decades, culminating in the entire world watching as he knelt on George Floyd’s neck for almost nine minutes. 

Why on earth would we think the same reforms would work now? We need to change our demands. The surest way of reducing police violence is to reduce the power of the police, by cutting budges and the number of officers.

We are not abandoning our communities to violence. We don’t want to just close police departments. We want to make them obsolete.

We should redirect the billions that now go to police departments toward providing health care, housing, education and good jobs. If we did this, there would be less need for the police in the first place.

We can build other ways of responding to harms in our society. Trained “community care workers” could do mental-health checks if someone needs help.  Towns could use restorative-justice models instead of throwing people in prison.

What about rape? The current approach hasn’t ended in. In fact most rapists never see the inside of a courtroom. Two-thirds of people who experience sexual violence never report it to anyone. Those who file police reports are often dissatisfied with the response. Additionally, police officers themselves commit sexual assault alarmingly often. A study in 2010 found that sexual misconduct was the second most frequently reported form of police misconduct. In 2015, The Buffalo News found that an officer was caught for sexual misconduct every five days.

When people, especially white people, consider a world without police, they envision a society as violent as our current one, merely without law enforcement--and they shudder.

As a society, we have been so indoctrinated with the idea that we solve problems by policing and caging people that many cannot imagine anything other than prisons and the police as solutions to violence and harm.  

People who want to abolish prisons and police, however, have a vision of a different society, built on cooperation instead of individualism, on mutual aid instead of self-preservation. What would the country look like if it had billions of extra dollars to spend on housing, food and education for all?  This change in society wouldn’t happen immediately, but the protests show that many people are ready to embrace a different vision of safety and justice.  

When the streets calm and people suggest once again that we hire more black police officers or create more civilian review boards, I hope that we remember all the times those efforts have failed.

#abolition #defund the police #acab #prison abolition #police abolition

[therenlover]

that list says blurb, so here we go...

young Daniel, LIL era Daniel, playing Sky in Mamma Mia and singing Lay All Your Love On Me

((Okay I took this shit and ran in another direction with it because @creme-bruhlee loves to indulge my ridiculous ideas. Sorry lol))

How The Danny Bunch Would Do Performing "Lay All Your Love On Me" From Mamma Mia From Worst To Best

Number Seven: Laszlo Kreizler (The Alienist)

Poor Laszlo would be absolutely miserable trying to do the whole number.

Like... the whole dance includes push-ups and barrel rolls and all that crazy cardio stuff, so with his arm being the way that it is he would just have a terrible time.

More than once he'd get stuck like a turtle on his back unable to get up from both physical inability and just plain exhaustion.

He'd probably be taken out of the number at his own request about 2 weeks into rehearsals, so we'd never get to actually see him in the diving suit and flippers.

Honestly, it would be for the best though.

I can't imagine how John and Sara would react to seeing him perform.

His dignity would be safe for another day, at least for now...

Number Six: Checo (Paradise Mall)

Checo, though attractive, would not want to be there at all.

Like, he has a million better things to do with his time that don't involve humiliating costumes and hours worth of dance rehearsals every week

He probably wouldn't even show up for the actual performance.

That being said, he'd be around a little longer than Laszlo, and he would actually end up wearing the cute costume at least once, so he doesn't get put in dead last

When it comes to the actual dancing he wouldn't put in any effort

Like... he'd consistently not actually know the moves and would be several beats behind because he'd just halfheartedly follow along with what the other guys were doing.

Checo has potential, and if he actually tried he'd be higher on the list

But he refuses to try, therefore, he is at the bottom of the people actually dancing.

Number Five: Niki Lauda (Rush)

Ah, Niki. What can I even say about Niki...

He, like Checo, does not want to be involved at all.

That being said, Niki is not a quitter, so he would show up and give it his absolute all because he might hate it, but he would refuse to be anything but the best.

That being said, effort can't save everything.

I feel like it wouldn't matter how much Niki rehearsed the moves or did his best to do them right.

He would just look really, really ridiculous.

Not that he would accept that. No, no, no, he would be convinced that he was the absolute best, and when he was confronted with facts that showed him that his assumption wasn't true, he'd get really, really bitter.

In fact, he'd probably even put aside his need to be the best and team up with another dancer if he thought it would mean someone else wasn't better than he was anymore.

More on that later

Also, Niki would look like a fool in the costume.

It's flattering on a lot of people, but with his bouncy little curls it would just be a hot mess

Number Four: Ernst Schmidt (The Cloverfield Paradox)

Schmidt, like Niki, does not want to be involved and is not gifted with the talent that is being able to dance with any semblance of internalized rhythm.

He's a scientist, not a dancer, and that's for good reason.

That being said, Schmidt's attitude is really what sets him about Niki.

He might despise being involved and complain about the experience to anyone who will listen, whether they're in the cast or just strangers, but he would give it a good effort and wouldn't try to tear other people down just because he's a bad dancer.

In the end, he wouldn't do too badly, and he's on the better end of things as far as the Dannys go.

I also think that by the end of the experience, he would be secretly glad he was involved.

Even for hot-headed guys like Schmidt, it can be fun to blow off some steam and just have some stupid fun, even if you make a fool of yourself while doing it.

If any of his teammates recorded it, though, he would simply kill them, so if anyone had a tape of the performance it would have to be a big secret.

Number Three: Andrea Marowski (Ladies In Lavender)

Oh, sweet Andrea would be having the time of his life and I refuse to believe any different.

I have no doubt that he'd be the one that dragged all the other Dannys into this and they couldn't say no because lets be honest, who could risk making Andrea upset? Nobody. Not even the most heartless of bastards.

Andrea is a musician, and he's decently fit and pretty young, so he'd probably do alright with learning the actual choreography.

What he lacks in skill he'll make up for in heart.

That being said, he probably would get so caught up in the excitement of it all that he'd trip over his own feet a few times like an overexcited puppy, so he wouldn't be the very best.

Everyone would tell him he was though, and it would make his whole life.

As for the costume, we basically already saw him in something close to it when he wore the one-piece bathing suit in Ladies In Lavender, so we know he pulls it off well.

He'd look extra funny in the flippers though.

I can see him doing the goofy run with them on backstage and just grinning like a fool saying "Look! Duck feet!"

Number Two: Helmut Zemo (Falcon and the Winter Soldier)

Now, Helmut Zemo may be getting older, but I am a firm believer that he was trained in dance for at least part of his young adulthood.

That means he would pick up the choreography fast, and execute it with a dancer's precision, especially since it isn't super tough skill-wise, it just takes the ability to keep a rhythm in your body and the strength to do the cardio of it for several minutes.

Zemo can do both of those things.

That being said, he is getting older, so he would have some struggles when it came to the more strenuous moves.

The biggest setback for Zemo isn't his skill, or even looking silly in the costume (though I personally think he'd absolutely kill the look)

No, his issue would lay with his ego, because Zemo, even if he thought the whole thing was the stupidest idea he'd ever heard, would need to feel like he was the best.

Just like Niki, he'd get bitter when he realized the attention was going towards someone else.

So, inevitably, he would team up with Niki to do whatever it took to distract the audience and win back the eye of the watchers.

Nobody likes that asshole, so he doesn't to be on top; sorry Zemo.

Also, just for funsies, Bucky and Sam absolutely would come, and they absolutely would make fun of him for it forever as he defended it as an "expression of his inner youth and freedom"

And, Number One: Alex Kerner (Goodbye, Lenin!)

Now, this may come out of left field, but hear me out.

Alex is young and attractive, so he's already got that going for him.

He's also a laborer (he installs satellites) so he would probably be able to keep up with the physical aspects that would be required.

The biggest thing that would make him the most charming and adorable one up there, though, is that he would be doing it all to see little Paula smiling up at him from the audience.

So, even if he thought that whole thing was stupid, he'd put his heart into it.

That combined with his other traits would be enough to win over everybody who saw him as a shining diamond in the rough.

Also, come on, just imagine Alex in one of those wetsuits. He would be too hot for his own good.

Zemo and Niki would totally try to steal the spotlight, but Alex would just be so endearing that nobody would take the bait.

Basically, I wanna give Alex a big smooch after frothing at the mouth as I watch him do high kicks in those stupid flippers

BONUS ROUND

Young Daniel Bruhl would be the one actually playing Sky, because he's the leading man of the bunch.

He'd probably get all shy about the vocal aspect of it.

He would kill it though, no matter how humble he acted about the whole thing.

His costume would be a little different, just swim trunks and the flippers, but he would still rock it and have everybody drooling because duh.

Nobody would be paying attention to him for most of it though.

Because let's be honest, Daniel is wonderful, but the fools doing his backup dancing would be causing enough chaos that people couldn't help but be distracted.

#jac rambles #zemo #baron zemo #helmut zemo #baron helmut zemo #daniel bruhl #daniel bruhl imagine #daniel bruhl headcanon #laszlo kreizler #checo (paradise mall) #alex kerner #andrea marowski #ernst schmidt #niki lauda (rush)

[beachbabey]

Misc. Fic Rec

Mature (smut/horror, triggering) - (M) | Fluff (F) | AU - AU | Angst - (A) |  Hurt/Comfort - (H/C)

Please check out all the writers I have mentioned and leave them feedback, remember, reblogs do more than likes

Marvel

Cuddle Bear by @wokeupinawalnut (Loki) (Bucky) (Poly) (F)

Shadow Monster!Peter Parker by @giorno-plays-piano (Peter Parker) (Yandere!AU) (F) (A)

Nine Years Starved by @therenlover (Helmut) (H/C) (A) (F) (M)

Howling Commando Tattoo AU by @navybrat817 (Stucky) (AU) (Poly) (A) (F) (M)

Depths by @kleohoneyao3 (Stucky) (Poly) (AU) (A) (F) (M)

Blizzard by @lavendercitizen (Nomad!Steve) (Yandere!AU) (A) (F) (M)

Avengers Body Positivity Ad by @marvelous-avengers (Avengers) (F)

Again by @all1e23 (Stucky) (H/C) (A) (F)

Broken by @fanfic-scribbles (Stucky) (Poly) (AU) (H/C) (F) (A)

Alter by @kleohoneyao3 (Stucky) (Poly - future?) (AU) (A) (F) (M)

Stevie and his dovey by @belovasbrat (Stucky) (Poly) (A) (F) (H/C)

sweet boy winter by @belovasbrat (Bucky/Winter Soldier) (F)

Bill Skarsgård

when the twilight is gone, you come into my heart by @stevesharrlngtons (Henry Deaver/The Kid) (A) (F)

wherever i'm going - i'm taking you with me by @stevesharrlngtons (Roman Godfrey) (A) (F)

anything by @emmyrosee - I've linked their Masterlist for Bill's characters (anything poly?? i'm dead, deceased, i simply shut down ma'am thank you for ur service)

forevermore by @skrsgardspam (Bill) (F) (M)

Sound and Colour by @skarsgard-daydreams (Henry Deaver/The Kid) (F) (A) (H/C)

Willard fluff by @emmyrosee (Willard) (F)

On The Run by @emmyrosee (Merkel) (A) (H/C) (F)

Matthew Gray Gubler

literally anything by @notanotherreidgirl

Little Cherry Book by @fruitoftheweek (Spence) (F) (M) (HOLY FUCK PLEASE READ THIS IM-)

Edge of my seat by @itsnsfwalways (MGG) (M) (F)

Personal Image by @imagining-in-the-margins (Raymond) (H/C) (A) (M)

Little Mix Up by @uselessastheginlasagna (Spencer) (F) (H/C) (A)

plushie talk by @specialagentsergio (Spencer) (F) (H/C)

What Plot?!? by @moon-light-jukebox (Spencer) (M)

Chipped by @writing-in-april (Chip) (F)

Satisfaction Guaranteed by @imagining-in-the-margins (Chip) (F) (A) (M)

Daniel Bruhl

Garden of Eden by @bruhlsbees (Alex Kerner) (H/C) (A) (F)

Always and Forever by @creme-bruhlee (Alex Kerner) (H/C) (F) (A) (M)

Lover's Dance by @creme-bruhlee (Andrea Marowski) (H/C) (F)

Star Wars

I See You by @writefightandflightclub (Din Djarin) (H/C) (F) (A)

Got7

Peaches Blossom by @your-kpop-fantasy-land​ (Jackson) (M) (F) (A) Demon!AU

Fluttery Touches by @your-kpop-fantasy-land​ (Yugyeom) (M) (F) (A) Wolf!AU

Coven by @bigbangclappin (BamBam) (F) (A) (M) Vampire!AU

Monsta X

Lost by @therealmintedmango (Changkyun) (F) (A) (M) Haetae!AU 

Holang-i by @therealmintedmango​ (Jooheon) (F) (A) (M)

#fic rec #criminal minds #avengers fic rec #bill skarsgård x reader

[mypoisonedvine]

okay we’re you going to write an alex kerner incest fic or did i just completely make that up lol i think i may have imagined it

you didn't make it up, I'm still working on it as it ended up becoming a series (what else is new :p) but I don't talk about it a lot because every time I do the leeches from twitter take screenshots so I'm just gonna not post it until it's much further along! and I wanna do my dad's best friend zemo series first :)

[babybluebex]

Is there a song(s) you associate with Daniel’s characters?

hmm yes, there actually are a few songs that come to mind with some dani characters lol all of these come from like the energy/vibes of the songs or associations that i have with the songs vs the characters

alex kerner: i definitely feel like alex's song is either scrawny by the wallows or paper rings by taylor swift. both have that energy of a young person doing what their heart desires and doing their best, yet still being devoted to a certain person/cause.

jan weingartner: def either fahrradsattel by pisse or easy to love by slut. easy to love was used in the edukators (or, at least, in the behind the scenes video that was released with the dvd), and fahrradsattel is just a hard rock german song about like. "fahrradsattel" is german for bike saddle, so like a bag that you take everywhere; the singer wants to always be with his lover. feels very jan.

andrea marowski: i feel either goodnight n go by ariana grande or far by the hunts. goodnight n go is a nice, easy song about being so in love with someone that you think of them even after they leave (also the line "why'd you have to be so cute/it's impossible to ignore you"). and far is. if you've seen this video (i feel many, if not most, dani stans have seen this video), then you understand the association i have with far and andrea.

álex garel: he gives me very nothing else by angus and julia stone. a chill song about wanting nothing but love, and adoring your lover the way that they were made (or built). a fairly short explanation, but it's what it is.

niki lauda: he gives me fun high energy, so i think of either layla by derek and the dominos, or i hear you knocking by dave edmunds. both are just fun 70s rock songs, and i imagine that that's the sort of energy niki has.

baron zemo: he was the easiest to figure out for me. for zemo, i definitely think of hurt by johnny cash (i know it's a nine inch nails song but specifically the johnny cash version). specifically the lyrics "everyone i know goes away/in the end/and you could have it all/my empire of dirt" bc. yknow. everyone he's ever loved is killed in sokovia, and his country, his "empire", becomes nothing but a memory.

ernst schmidt: maybe this is a little on the nose, but rocketman by elton john. for what i feel like is obvious reasons lol. it's his vibe.

laszlo kreizler: laszlo was probably the hardest to figure out what vibe he gives me, but i decided on moment's silence (common tongue) by hozier. it's a laid back song that's a whole allegory about sex with a catholic skew on it and like. yeah, hidden sentiments about sex and love, combined with laszlo's catholic trauma, feels right.

#bex answers #anon #danny bunch #alex kerner #jan weingartner #andrea marowski #álex garel #niki lauda #baron zemo #ernst schmidt #laszlo kreizler #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl