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#alch!writes
alch3mic · 2 years
Note
Since we’ve reached the last Sans, let’s ask this question one last time: what would Papa Bear do if his reader already had a lover?
Please be warned of some violence and body horror.
The look on their face was a familiar one. Fearful. Seems like no matter how hard he tried to make himself small, it just didn't matter.
He knew somewhere in the back of his skull it was pointless.
He was too impossibly big to ever not be seen as a threat.
Or.. perhaps everyone else was just too small.
Hm.
Wait, now wasn't the time to get lost in thought.
The human was saying something to him, their words like static spreading across his mind and making his skull itch.
He did his best to focus, only catching on to the tail end of their words.
".....-ut h-here anyways?"
"hm?"
His question came across more as a grumble than a hum, making the human shrink back more.
"W-what did you want??"
They sounded more irritated now.
It reflected in their eyes, seeming to stare at him now with both disdain and alarm.
"ah," he said, stopping his hand from scratching at his head wound out of impulse. "...just.. wanted to talk.."
"About?"
Sans paused briefly, lowering his hand and securing it back into his jacket pocket, and glancing aside.
He said your name gently, the mere mention of it bringing about all kinds of images in his head.
Of your warm eyes and cheerful smile.
He could feel the corners of his own mouth barely tug up into a smile too, that was until the static and the itch returned.
"..I should've figured."
The annoyance in their tone was taking over the fearfulness, and they seemed to have steadied themselves in Sans' looming shadow.
"So, what is it?" It went silent again as Sans tried to put his thoughts in order.
He was here.. to... uh.. talk about you.
No, no.
Not about you.
About you and them.
Them and you.
And how you...
...you...
.......
"...Wel-?"
"...you should break up with them."
Now it was his turn to sit in silence as he was stared up with a relatively new expression, disbelief.
"What?"
He nearly spoke again but he was cut off from a small huff that was followed by a laugh as a human ran a hand through their hair.
"I.. I don't believe this."
Another huff.
"I mean, I guess I should've figured with the way you stare at them.. but.."
And an angry look.
"you've really got some fucking nerve..!"
Sans didn't say anything in response and instead just continued to gaze down at them impassively.
The human managed to match his gaze now and was standing there now as if waiting for something else to be said, but there was nothing left.
Just an awkward silence.
And again that look of irritation was taking over, almost blooming to an irrational anger as the human spoke again.
"And why the hell do you think we should break u-"
"you're a bad match."
The words just kind of tumbled out of his mouth, but they were the truth.
At least, that's the way he perceived things.
Sans would always catch on to the way your smile would falter slightly when this other human was around.
He hated it, watching your bright light be snuffed out by this..
Maggot.
It was eating away at your happiness bite by bite, fattening itself off the sweetness of your affections.
He couldn't stand it.
It was driving him crazy.
And now his skull was itchy again thanks to the static as the human sputtered and rebutted.
Something something how dare he, something something about how he had no right, something something..
Ah, he didn't care.
He really.. didn't..
....But you did.
Right?
Clearly you cared for this person in some capacity.
So.. he wanted to understand...
About what made them so special.
".....sorry.." Sans said quietly, somehow cutting off their angry rant. "maybe.. i'm not.. doin' this right.."
He barely managed to stop his fingers from itching at his wound again.
"....i'm bad.. with... uh..."
His hand flexed.
"words."
The human still didn't seem too pleased, but at least they stopped talking.
"...my lil.. uh.. therapist.. lady.. says it's important to see things.. from others point of view... which is why i wanted to.. talk.."
"....Right."
They crossed their arms.
"Well," they began, your name sliding out from between their teeth and making nearly every bad feeling fire off in his head at once.
He.. he didn't like it.
The way it sounded.
Sounded bad.
Awful.
Horrid.
He couldn't even focus anymore, the words becoming a blur underneath all the bad, bad, bad feelings.
His hand was flexing again and attempting to reach for something that wasn't there anymore.
Something he wasn't allowed to have.
Probably a good thing, honestly, or else this would've ended..
Badly.
But still.. he... can't..
"...understand.."
"..Huh?"
"i don't.. understand.."
Now the frustration was returning.
He could see it in their eyes, his own eyelights seeming to be reflected in them.
"What part aren't you getting? We've been friends for a long, long time and the relationship we have is special. I'm not going to break up with them just because you thin- guh!"
The human seemed surprised as Sans grabbed on to their face, his claws digging into their cheek.
Then that surprise melted away into fear once more.
That all too familiar emotion...
"Let... l-let go of me-!"
"...i'm trying.. to.. see things.. from your point of view..." Sans said dryly as his eyelight bore into their gaze. "therapist lady said to listen.. but i can't. you just don't make any sense.. so.. maybe.."
His words began trailing off more as he seemed to mostly be talking to himself, rather than to the human in front of him.
"...maybe i should.. actually.. see... as you do."
His free hand reached up to his head wound before trailing down to his socket, his long and damaged phalanges piercing through the unrelenting darkness in his skull.
There was a horrid noise as he dug deep, his one functional eyelight going out and leaving them in darkness as the maggot squirmed more in his grasp. Finally he plucked it out of his skull.
An eyeball.
Red and rotted, while a blackness oozed from his socket.
"W-what are you-!?"
Panic.
Another familiar reaction.
They were too small to do anything though as he held them still in his grasp, holding the eyeball out briefly before putting it in-between his teeth and biting down.
Squelch.
Funny that a bug that thrived off feeding on trash could look so disgusted at this action.
He could almost laugh if he wasn't chewing down the leftover remains of his old eye, that blackness now oozing down his chin.
Instead he brought his hand back down, closer to the human's face as their teeth audibly chattered.
That's when the kicking and thrashing started.
"Let go..! LET G-"
He strengthened his grip upon their face, causing them to sputter. Every flailing limb was met with solid bone. Every hit seemed to do practically nothing to the monster as he moved his hand in closer.
"...let's.. see things.. from your.. point of view... hm?"
They clearly tried to scream... ...but nothing but muffed cries came as he plucked it out.
.....
Disgusting.
Humans were so gross.
Still, he jammed it into his own socket, the world going blurry for a moment as the eye went every which way trying to orientate itself.
He eventually gave his skull a firm smack and it finally settled into place, the whole room lighting up in red.
...Ah. ......Everything...
....still.. looked the same? His head tilted to one side. And then the other.
Aas he glanced around, nothing at all seemed different.
The human in his grasp was still as vile as ever, now leaking water from their eyes.
..........Or..... eye.... rather...
It.. just didn't make any sense.
If they're both seeing the same things, how could they not realize how terrible they are for you..?
Were they blind? Or were they just being ignorant?
....
....Maybe.. ...He was still thinking about this the wrong way..? Maybe they... need to see things from his perspective?
He felt his hand flex again.
Ah, such a shame he didn't have it anymore.
Still.. he could...
He gazed once more at the writhing human, their attempts to break free getting weaker and weaker and they sobbed.
"....i'll... make you see... how bad.. you two are for each other.. then.."
He muttered, his hand reaching out and scraping along their head.
"make you see.. what you do to them.."
He dug his claws in, seeming to reinvigorate the human's desire to break free as they struggled. "how you hurt them.. and leech off them.."
They tried once more to strike his arm, his chest.. anything they could punch and kick but he hardly felt a thing. "...maybe... you need a little crack in your skull.. to see things.. clearly.."
CRRRRRRRRAAACK!
....Ah. They broke.
Seems like they couldn’t handle his point of view.
Clearly they were a bad fit for you after all…
check out my other writings | feel free to drop me a ko-fi!
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ouralcohol · 1 year
Text
Let You In
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x fem!reader 
Summary: what happens when Bradley finally lets you in?
Tags: angst, lots of angst, 18+, allusions to sex, soft, maybe some fluff if you squint your eyeballs
Author’s note: I saw a gif and immediately got inspired. Some people inspired this too... enjoy... comments and reblogs make the world go 'round.
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This was the first time you had done this with him. You didn't think that you would have gotten this far with him if you were being honest with yourself. Bradley Bradshaw always had a line of women lined up around the corner whenever he was in town. The reason you knew this was because for as long as you could remember, he always had some kind of arm candy with him whenever he went to the local bar while he was in his hometown of Virginia Beach.
From the last couple of years that you had known him, you never thought that you would get here. More specifically, get here with him. You had always wondered what it would be like to be with him underneath the sheets. Anyone that had eyeballs and a sense of taste would agree. So, what had changed? What had made the line between friends to… whatever this was, blur? You weren't exactly sure, perhaps it had to do with his near death experience? Or was it your signature sundress that you happened to wear every time he strolled in?
The dress was bunched up somewhere on his apartment floor right now… not that it mattered. What mattered was that you were here with him.
Out of all the girls he could have chosen-- he chose you.
You never asked him how long he was here, but you did notice that he was coming around to the bar more frequently. The fact of the matter was that Bradley was good, he was very good in bed. The naval aviator had made you see stars in a manner that you never seen them before. Everything was different with him.
There was some faint music that hit your ears. You stirred from your slumber as your hands rubbed the tiredness from your eyes. This had been one of the most restful sleeps you had gotten in a long time. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. Stress was never your friend and you hated it. However, on this particular night, you had slept like a rock. It took you a couple of seconds for your brain to register where you were. The surroundings were not familiar, but you felt at ease. The photo frame on the nightstand made you smile as the moonlight shone upon the frame.
You were in Bradley's bed in his Virginia home. You noted the owner was missing. Ah, so that must be the source of the music, your brain thought as you looed around for your underwear. And idea sparked as your eyes saw that one of his Hawaiian shirts was also on the floor. Contrary to popular belief, you had come to find out that he only owned four, maybe five shirts in total. Your hands grabbed it as you ever so carefully slipped it on, afraid to wrinkle it even more. You didn't even bother to button the oversized shirt. It didn't reveal anything-- maybe some side boobage, but rare if that. Your feet carried you out into the hallway and walk closer to where the music was coming from. The melody that was playing was very different from the lively jigs that the common folk were so attuned to. It was a much slower and softer tune, melancholy even. Curiosity filled you as you inched closer, the music getting louder.
There were many sides to Bradley. People only saw what they wanted to see. People only heard what they wanted to hear. Everyone saw him as an energetic, happy-go-lucky kind of guy, but there were fleeting moments where you happened to glance his way and he was staring off into space for a brief second-- lost in his own thoughts. You never made any mention of it as it wasn't your place to ask. You were friends, but you didn't feel like he was comfortable enough to let himself be a certain way with you.
You being you, wanted to know everything about him. You wouldn't lie to yourself and say that you weren't infatuated, because you were. Every girl at the bar was infatuated with him whenever he walked in. The music factor was a bonus and caused them to leave their tongues hanging out. The way some women gawked at him was incredible. You didn't understand how you could feel this way toward someone that you hardly knew. If you only knew.
Once you had stepped into the small open space and saw his broad shoulders hunched over the piano, your body instantly relaxed. You hadn't realized that you had been nervous, your heart beginning to hammer in your chest with anticipation. You should have known what to expect, but you didn't know exactly what was in store. It's not like you slept with every guy… and it only made you wonder how many girls he had brought home. Seeing his fingers touch the keys so fluidly reminded you just how skilled he had been a few hours ago while making you see heaven on Earth. He wasn't wearing much, only his boxers-- he didn't even have to try to do anything and he looked so handsome. With his locks a little messy, but still so good that made you want to run your fingers through his hair like you had done a while ago.
The image floated in your mind which made you squeeze your thighs together before making your way to where he was sitting down. You had your hands behind your walk while you stood next to the piano. Bradley immediately noticed you, his eyes stuck on your face as his fingers continued to move across the keys so effortlessly-- a softer tune now, "Sorry if I woke you up." Bradley uttered. "Couldn't sleep?" You asked suddenly feeling shy, exposed even. You felt like you were invading his personal intimacy with his piano. Bradley Bradshaw's eyes did not stray from yours, not even for a second. His fingers came to a slow stop-- the ringing of the notes lingering in the air.
The thick tension that caused all of this to happen between you both, had returned. It enveloped you and him in an imaginary bubble. You swallowed thickly as you felt his hand circle around your wrist to bring you in front of him. Your body was encased between him and his piano. Bradley's big strong hands held you in place, eyes still locked on yours. "No. I can never sleep anymore." The pilot whispered to you. You let out a slow breath. He was letting you in. "May I?" You gently queried as you brought your hand up to his face. Bradley nodded, "Close your eyes." You told him with a quiet voice. He did as you asked without hesitation, his body tensing.
You shifted your body slightly-- hitting some random keys in the process so you could have better access to him. You placed your index finger on his neck and ran down his scar ever so delicately. Some would say it was a featherlight touch, you just didn't want to overwhelm him with the sensory that was going on. He wasn't a porcelain doll by any means, but you also felt like he didn't let people touch sensitive areas that reminded him of his past. Bradley inhaled sharply and you hesitated for a split second before continuing. Moments that only took seconds felt like a complete eternity to you, maybe for him too. Everything happened in slow motion for you. The area surrounding you both dissolved and you felt like you were floating and all of time had stood still with Bradley in front of you. Once you finished tracing that scar, you transitioned to the ones on his chin. The contrast of your soft skin against the stubble of his was making your insides melt. You noticed that Bradley was very still. A part of you wanted to tell him that it was okay, that it was just you. However, something inside you refrained you from doing so, though, a little voice in the back of your head was telling you that this silence was exactly what he needed. You took your index finger back and used your pinky to touch the scar on his lower cheek near his mouth. Then the one near his ear. The pilot let out a shaky breath through his mouth, as he opened his eyes, still fixated on yours. Your heart was going a mile a minute, hand slightly shaking from the sensation that this caused you.
He was giving you a tender look, almost like he could finally breathe again. "Moonbeam." He said, "Bradley." You responded with your hands still on his face. The nickname had stuck after a second meeting, something he had never clarified with you. It wasn't common, and you didn't question him. You waited for him to speak, for him to say anything.
He turned his head face down and pressed his forehead against your abdomen, the grip on your hips tightening as he said something that you couldn't make out. "What?" You gasped before you could stop yourself. You felt the air he was breathing linger in your lower abdomen, as he spoke a little louder, "You make me feel less lonely." Once your brain registered the words that had been told, you wondered if he had brought anyone here. "Oh?" You queried him, hopefully not pushing him too much. Bradley picked his head up again as he looked back up at your face, "I don't bring people here. There's so much… but.. with you.. things feel easier." He managed to say, his voice slow and even. You could tell this was taking a toll, but you waited calmly. Your heart was instantly breaking and re-stitching itself as the words echoed in your brain.
Bradley Bradshaw was a sweet man. Bradley Bradshaw was someone that deserved to be love just like anyone else. Your thumb began to caress this cheek as he inhaled again, breathing you in, taking all of you and getting drunk from your scent alone. "I'm the first person you bring here?" You asked unable to stop yourself as your other hand went to the other side, now cupping his face. He nodded slightly, "I'm always moving about, but you've been the one consistent person here in Virginia… the bar is consistent, I wasn't expecting you to be there every time either." Perhaps, that was the catalyst of this all. You were usually there with friends, but tonight had been different. You were alone. Bradley was alone. Two people alone together was better than one.
This man was telling you everything with his body language, and you were listening very intently. "How are you feeling now?" You asked curiously as your lips pressed to his forehead. Your body began to feel at ease as his words continued to flow out of his mouth, "At ease." A scrunched up smile filled his features as you let out a soft laugh. The next movement surprised you, causing you to sit back on the keys while Bradley stood up, towering over your body as his hands went down to the hem of his shirt and dipped under to touch the soft flesh that was your skin. You blinked a couple of times as you said, "Why moonbeam?" You sputtered out, almost unable to form a coherent sentence. The pilot then brought his forehead to the crook of your neck, "…it's stupid." He whispered against your skin, causing goosebumps to rise and an involuntary shiver to go down your spine. "It's not stupid if I like it.." You remarked as your hands fell to your sides, your head tilting back to allow him more access your hair falling behind you cascading on top of the piano. "Whenever I leave for a mission or I'm gone for a tour… I just look at the moon and think of you." A shy boy spoke to you, but you didn't care, "You think of me?" You queried him again. The questions were pouring out of you now. You didn't know when you would get another chance like this and you would take it with everything you had.
His head snapped up to meet your gaze again, his hazel eyes boring into your own. Bradley then grabbed your hand and placed it over the erection in his boxers, a gasp leaving your mouth, "Don't you see what you do to me? How could I not think of you?" He asked, sounding equally as shocked as you were in asking, "I don't know, Bradley. Tonight was our first time together.. and I was just never sure, I guess." A small shrug followed your words, but you couldn't think anymore as he fiercely grabbed you by the hips and set you down on top of the piano before his hand wrapped around your neck. Your lips made a little oh face as his index finger trailed ever so slowly down the front of your body, between the fabric that was his shirt. You felt yourself arch your back in response to his advance while closing your eyes, thinking of the bliss that he was going to cause you again.
Your feet hit another set of random keys as you planted them on there, his mouth on your belly button while he distinctly said, "Make me forget again. Give me euphoria." Bradley Bradshaw told you. You frantically nodded as his hands pulled down your panties. You got the sensation of the cool air, but didn't budge.
Your questions would be answered later. For now. You would get lost with him in the bliss that you both created when two lonely souls met.
This was were you belonged.
379 notes · View notes
ashes-writing · 11 months
Text
stranger things ● can't fight this feeling ● s.harrington
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warning
angsty!Steve in the beginning, flirtatious!coquette reader, neighbors to lovers, high school drama and angst, no sci fi or upside down this is a total AU, underage smoking, alcohol and 🍃 + house parties and eventual filth / PDA ( for my readers who aren't a fan you're warned now ahead of time), Steve finally wins a fight it's happening at some point, teeeny hints of a rivalry between Billy / Steve but Steve is bae so he will win, swearing, sarcasm. mentions of both steve and reader having similar but totally different home lives and steve's parents are.. old money snobby.
<- female reader warning ( personified a fair bit, clothing / hair / body parts and loads of personality so this one isn't as vague sorry babes this is me being ✨ self indulgent ✨ to a degree )
word count
7670 words exactly. I uh.. got carried away, oopsies.
( i'm on my bullshit.. again. there was a lot of groundwork to set bc this is deffo going to be a series. )
summary
he's fresh off a breakup with Nancy and he's not looking. but then you move in next door and he's entirely too aware. will either of you be able to fight your feelings?
( traaash. summary is trash. song inspo / title is can't fight this feeling by REO Speedwagon cos it kinda fits, esp the 'my life has been a whirlwind since I saw you' line. trust me on this. )
taglist
-- taglist here if you want to be tagged in my works please lmk or add yourself. otherwise, i don't tag.also, also.. if anyone who joined my ST list for strictly gareth fics wanna be removed from my other nonsense lmk please?
@tbmunson - bestie i luhh you. i had to tag you in this because you're my inspiration. feel free to ignore though, babes.
@allelitesmut
@chaoticcancer
@cursethememory
@dylanwritesgood
@just-a-blue-nerd
@music4life42
@slyisbehindyou
other links
masterlist ● steve's masterlist ● about + rules
Rain drizzles down the window of the classroom as Steve Harrington stares out, bored. He’s barely listening, his mind’s a million miles away. Replaying the talk he had with the guidance counselor about college and the importance of it in his head. 
The door to the classroom opens with a tired creak, slowly. He tears his eyes off the gray drizzle outside to glance over and he watches as you walk in, stopping by the teacher’s desk. You happen to glance his way and the second you do this, he’s lost in your eyes for a few seconds. You’re the one who looks down first. Beside him, he can hear Carol and Nicole whispering back and forth, he catches bits of it and rolls his eyes.
If he needed a reminder as to why he stopped being friends with Carol and Tommy, the fact that she’s already talking about you and she doesn’t even know you is a good one. Carol snickers quietly, nodding to the front of the classroom at you as she tells Nicole, “She’s gonna get dress coded for that little dress of hers by the end of the day. Only sluts wear that kind of stuff.” and Nicole whispers back, “Carol, that’s mean. You’re not wrong though. I bet she’s easy.”
By now, you’ve clocked the two girls whispering back and forth as they steal glances at you and you want to laugh but you can’t. You’re almost willing to bet that they’re whispering back and forth about the pastel pink slip dress you’re wearing beneath your favorite soft cardigan with the hood and flared sleeves. Honestly, the fact that you’ve only been at Hawkins High for a total of ten minutes now and you’re already being talked about is something you find amusing. 
The teacher is still looking over your schedule and as he does, you shuffle your feet against the speckled tiles. Glancing around the classroom.
The first set of gazes you meet are the two girls who are making no secret that they’re talking about you. You smirk at both and when the redhead looks you up and down and mouths the word slut, you shrug.
It’s nothing you haven’t heard before and honestly, you stopped letting anything anybody else says or thinks about you get to you a long time ago. 
The next person your eyes settle on is the guy sitting right beside the window with an olive colored Members Only jacket. He looks like a classroom is the last place he wants to be and he’s twisting a black ink pen around in between his fingers until he looks up and right at you.
You can’t help but stare. His hand raises and fingers drag through effortlessly styled brown hair and your eyes catch on the movement for a split second but then they’re moving downward. Settling briefly on the prettiest lips you’ve ever seen on a boy, hands down. You bite your own lip for a second or two and you can feel a slow heat rise from the pit of your stomach, blossoming out over your cheeks and settling in the tips of your ears. He’s still staring, you can’t tell whether it’s amusement, curiosity or boredom, maybe it’s a mix of all three playing in doe eyes as he continues to stare. You shift from one foot to the other and your hand raises, catching in the long thick mess you call hair. Lingering there as you let a slow and soft smile slowly play at your lips.
The trance you’re in is broken by the teacher speaking. First to you, “You can take the empty seat in front of Steve Harrington.” and you nod. Then the teacher addresses that same boy you’ve only just managed to take your eyes off of because you were so mesmerized.
Which is dumb, you think to yourself, because I know how guys are. And he looks like the very kind to break your heart and probably laugh about it.
You shove the thought out of your head.
“Mr. Harrington, since you’re not taking one of your naps today, mind raising your hand so that our new student can find her desk, sir?”
There’s quiet laughter among the other students and you catch a glimpse of Steve as a hint of pink creeps into his cheeks and he gives the teacher a dirty look while slowly raising his hand.
You make your way over to your new seat and you’re settling in. The teacher tells you what page he’s reading from and you realize there’s no book at your desk so you speak up. “I don’t have a book.”
“You can share with Mr. Harrington. Maybe if he’s sharing a book he’ll actually pay attention for once.” the teacher shoots Steve a pointed look and Steve grumbles to himself but he moves to the empty seat beside your seat, the one normally occupied by some girl named Andrea. He pushes the seat closer to yours and sets the textbook so that it’s between you so you can see it and read along.
You give him this shy little smile and he gives you a weak one. Half-hearted, because Steve Harrington doesn’t smile that much these days. 
As he settles into the seat he’s moved so that it’s beside your own, the sultry sweet scent of vanilla and a hint of something fruity envelopes the air around you both and when you lean in a little to read the page as he flips it, your movement sends it wafting towards him all over again.
Your hair brushes against his bare arm and he shifts in his seat slightly. You glance up at him apologetically and a few strands of hair swoop down into your eyes. He shrugs off the apology and goes back to reading. Or attempting to read.
You’re almost hyper aware of the boy  sitting next to you, the powdery musk of his designer cologne thick in the air as you catch yourself stealing another glance of his side profile, sharp facial features, the faintest hint of a five o’clock shadow. When you feel his eyes set on you again, you quickly drop your gaze to feign interest in the same paragraph you’ve been reading for almost a whole minute by this point.
You uncross your legs to cross them again the opposite way. He moves to flip the page to the next one and this time, his forearm brushes right against the soft flared sleeve of the cardigan you’re wearing that nearly covers your pastel pink slip dress.
The air is thick, getting thicker by the second. And you catch yourself stealing a look at the clock over the blackboard because you almost can’t breathe properly and you’re wondering how long until the bell rings and you can rush out of class, go find a bathroom and collect yourself. 
Steve’s gaze shifts to the clock and he takes a deep breath. There’s only ten more minutes left to class. The teacher finishes reading and closes his book, gazing out into the classroom. “You may choose someone to work with to complete the worksheet.”
You close the textbook and you’re assuming that he’ll move, abandon you to go work with friends or something. Honestly, you’re not in a hurry to find someone to work with, the equations on the worksheet are something you previously covered at your last school so you know you can struggle through and finish them on your own. ,, and I don’t need anybody to work with anyway, I’m better off alone.” the thought comes but it’s quickly shoved out of your head. You pick up your pencil and start working, despite the fact that Steve hasn’t moved back to his normal seat.
“You’re doing it wrong.” Steve speaks up after about ten or fifteen seconds of watching you bite your lip and glare at the paper in front of you, writing in numbers and erasing them. He clears his throat and nods to the worksheet in front of you. You look up at him and your tongue outlines glossy pink lips. He lets his eyes linger for a second or two before taking your pencil and the worksheet. And he calmly explains exactly what you’re missing to solve the problem.
“You have to divide first.” he tells you and you nod. You take the pencil from him when he holds it out to you and you make an attempt at doing the next one on your own, but you wind up annoyed. Letting the pencil fall to the  desk.
“Math isn’t.. It’s not my thing. I hate numbers.” you admit quietly. Steve looks up from his half-complete worksheet and over to yours. Then he looks at you. “I can help you.. If you want me to, I mean.”
“Please?” you’re giving him this little pout, begging with your eyes. He chuckles and bites his lip as he  trains his eyes on your worksheet. “Okay, I see what’s happening. Okay, this is what you need t’do.” he takes the pencil again and he’s going through each step with you. Every now and then he’ll drag his hand through his hair or pause and rub the back of his neck and your eyes are glued to his hands each time. “Okay, do you understand now?” he questions and you bring yourself out of your little daze to nod. Give him a little smile. “Math isn’t really my thing, but I think I get what you’re saying.”
He chuckles quietly. Goes back to finishing off his own worksheet quietly and after a little more struggling on your end, you finish your worksheet. Everyone else is still working for the most part.
You glance around the classroom for a few seconds to make sure nobody is looking and you slip the pack of gum out. You take a piece for yourself and unwrap it, popping it into your mouth. Then you gently tap Steve on the bicep and when he looks up, you nod to his hands.
His brow raises. You carefully slip the fat square of gum beneath the hand he has resting against the desk, your hands brushing. He sucks in a breath and feels annoyed with himself for the simple fact that even the slightest hint of physical contact is amplified because it’s just so rare that he’s touched or touching anybody else as of late.
It’s not a big deal and he tells himself that.
The bell to end class rings and you rise from your seat, gathering your books and shoving them down into your backpack, slinging that carelessly over one shoulder. Steve realizes that you left a paperback behind on top of the desk you were sitting in so he picks it up and wanders out into the hallway, glancing up and then down, brown eyes scanning the busy crowd of students until he spots you at some lockers down the hall just a little. You’re leaning against a locker with a little silver compact mirror in your hand and you’re reapplying your favorite flavored gloss to your lips.
He makes his way over and you lock eyes with him in the reflection of your little silver mirror just as you’re finishing your touch-up. You give him another soft little smile and close the compact, turning to face him. It puts you body to body and you marvel at the difference in your heights. The way he towers  over you and the way the polo shirt he’s wearing cuffs tight against his biceps. As the hallway gets more crowded, you’re forced at one point to step into him and when you do this, you brush against him just barely and Steve swallows hard.
“Sorry.” you mumble, a softness to your voice when you speak. He tears his focus off that and holds out your paperback, hints of a teasing smirk on his face as you feel your cheeks flame up the second you realize you left your current read sitting behind beneath the desk in class.
You want the floor to open up and swallow you right then and there. Your gaze settles on the thick and well-read paperback he’s holding out to you, the picture of a bare chested pirate standing at the helm of a ship with long dark hair blown out in the breeze emblazoned across the front has you swallowing hard. And there’s this teasing gleam in Steve’s eyes as he chuckles. “I think this is yours.”
“Uh huh.” is all you can manage to get out for some reason. And you’re annoyed at yourself for this. You pluck the book out of his hand and you shove it into your locker once you’ve opened it. Steve’s started to walk away and you steal a quick glance as he disappears into a classroom.
When you have to lean against the locker and breathe in, breathe out to pull yourself together, you grow even more annoyed with yourself. “Jesus christ. He’s just a boy.” you fan yourself and beside you, there’s laughter.
“He’s not even that good looking if you want the honest truth. And his kind.. They think they own the school.”
You’re red-faced when you meet the other girl’s gaze. Biting your lip, you nod in agreement. “Yeah. I kind of thought that’d be the case. Usually is with the pretty ones.”
Robin laughs softly. “I’m Robin. What’s your name?”
“___.”
“You’re new, huh?”
You nod. “Today is my first day.”
Robin smiles at you. “Prepare to be bored out of your skull. I’ve gotta get going. I’ll uh.. I’ll see you around?”
You smile back at her and nod. “Yeah. It’s a small school.” you keep it casual. Careful. Because getting too close isn’t something you’re good at. It’s not something you do well with and every single time you do, it winds up being a complete disaster. As she wanders off to her next class, you consult your schedule.
You’re wandering the hallway, in no hurry despite the fact that you know damn well the tardy bell is about to ring and you need to be making an effort to find your next class. As you turn a corner, you find yourself body to body with another boy. He’s not as tall and he looks more than a little overconfident. Blue eyes flit over you, taking you in. He’s chewing spearmint gum, this mixes with the faintest hint of cigarette and you bite your lip, looking him right in the eyes. It’s cheeky. Defiant. He chuckles.
“Hey. Haven’t seen you around before. I’m Billy.”
“___. You haven’t seen me because I’m new. Do you mind?” you’re staring over his shoulder because he happens to be standing right in front of the door you need to go through to get to your next class. Instead of moving, he leans in the doorway. Blocking your entrance. He chuckles. “Oh? You’re in this class too?”
You nod. He steps out of the door and makes a show about letting you go in first. You ignore his theatrics and slink into the room, presenting the teacher with your schedule and gazing around the room as the teacher writes your name down in her grade book. You wind up sitting at the same dual desk that Billy’s assigned to and you can feel him staring at you through class.
You look up a time or two because the weight of his stare is just that heavy. 
Somewhere in the middle of class, he slips you a note.
← i’m kind of new here too.
← you smell amazing, by the way. Sweet.
You let your palm settle over the note and slip it across the desk so that it’s in front of your space. Your eyes dance over the words and you can’t help but roll them as soon as you read what he’s written about your scent. It’s the perfume, it gets you a lot of compliments. Surprising for a cheap perfume, but it’s your signature scent now, you haven’t worn anything else since freshman year.
You tap your pink pen against the desktop for a few seconds before responding.
→ Fascinating. I lived in the next town over. Where’d you move here from?
→ Thanks?
There’s not much else to say. You’ve got no real desire to ask him about himself, he strikes you as the type who won’t shut up about himself once you give him an opening to talk. Very much egotistical. Not what you’re into at all.
You slip the note back towards him and his hand settles over your hand for just a second or two, settling on top of it so you can’t pull away. It’s annoying, really.
A definite contrast to the way your two accidental brushes against the hand of Steve Harrington in your first class felt. But you’re shoving that one out as quickly as it invades your brain.
Because you’re better off alone. It’s been proven time and time again for you. Made worse by the fact that since your mom’s death, your own father can’t even stand to be around you. You know he loves you, you know he’s grieving but he’s shut you out completely.
You tear yourself out of your own thoughts and lick your lips, training your eyes on the torn slip of paper. You slip it back over to your side of the desk.
← There’s a party tonight. You should come.
← I can show you around.
You glance over at him, chewing your gum. He’s already staring when you look up and as a result, you make it a point to look down. Picking up your favorite pink pen, you start to scrawl out a response. 
→ Can’t. My friends are coming over.
→ I’ll figure it out. Thanks anyway.
You push the torn slip of paper back to him and turn your attention to the worksheet you’ve just been handed by the teacher. This class is another subject you’re not so good at but you’re determined that you’ll struggle in silence. Because you want as little to do with the boy sitting beside you as possible, truth be told. You’re just not into the whole aura of dominance that you’re getting off him.
It reminds you too much of the last boy you dated. The one who kept pushing you into things you weren’t ready for and didn’t want. 
Billy rubs his chin thoughtfully and he steals another look at you as you sit beside him, glaring at the worksheet as you uncross your legs and cross them again. You’ve taken off the high platform shoes you were wearing, they’re discarded below your chair. You twist a strand of hair around your finger as you focus on your work.He leans in a little, nodding to the worksheet. “I can help you.”
“I’m fine.” you answer quick. He frowns to himself as soon as you’ve looked away. You’re the first girl that hasn’t fallen at his feet in months and he’s at a loss about it. He’s also determined to change this.
“You’ve got your square drawn wrong.”
You glance up and over at Billy, the end of your pen rested against the center of your bottom lip. “I’ll figure it out later.” you answer.
“Fine. I’m trying to help.” Billy raises his hands and gives you his best good guy smile. You barely acknowledge it, looking back down at the worksheet in front of you instead. The second the bell rings you’ve gathered your books and you’re out the door before Billy even has the chance to catch you. You glance back to find him flanked by the two girls in your first class, both of them whispering and staring at you intently.. Again.
You roll your eyes and turn your head back to the front of you so that you can actually see where you’re going but you don’t do it soon enough and you collide into Steve. Steve’s hands shoot out, resting against your upper arms to steady you and he chuckles. “You’re in a hurry.”
“Yeah. Sorry. I should’ve been paying attention.” you mumble because yet again, you’re mesmerized. You shake your head and laugh softly at yourself. “Trying to get away from this guy in my class.”
Steve chuckles. Has the passing thought that this is something that probably happens to you a lot. Wonders to himself if it has anything at all to do with the way you carry yourself without realizing it, because it took him all of five minutes in the class he had with you earlier to quickly figure out that you’re one of those girls who carries herself like a little flirt and it’s completely unintentional for the most part.
Like, you’re completely unaware of it.
Because if he weren’t a thousand percent sure there was no way in hell you were flirting with you, if this had been last year, he’d have already put the moves on you.
,, but you’re not that guy anymore.” he reminds himself, ,, and you’re better off not getting close or attached because the one time you did was a disaster.” 
“This guy have a name?” Steve asks. Surprised by the surge of jealousy that rises to the surface quick when you laugh and roll your eyes as you say the name of the guy in question. “Yeah. His name is Billy.”
“The guy’s a douchebag.” Steve steps up into you because he sees Billy rounding the corner, flanked by Carol and Nicole. Tommy’s walking in front of the three of them, facing away from the flow of hallway traffic like an asshole.
Your gaze flits to the group as they make their way past but it’s only because Steve was already glancing their way and you were curious about where he was looking. Billy locks eyes with you and a smirk plays at peachy lips. “Hey Harrington, I see you met ___.”
Carol rolls her eyes and coughs to cover “Slut.” when she passes you.
“ When a house lands on that bitch I want to be there.” you mumble, a response to hearing what she said and tried to cover. You shake your head and laugh it off and Steve is glaring at their retreating backs. “Ignore her. She’s jealous of pretty much everybody.”
“I picked up on that in first.” you admit, laughing softly. You tilt your head to the side slightly, gazing up at Steve. You haven’t bothered to step away from him and he finally realizes that he’s still got his hands against  your upper arms, so he lowers them, slipping them into the pockets of his olive colored jacket. He steps away first, leaning against his locker. “So uh… what class do you have now?”
“Home Ec?” you dig around for the schedule you spent the parts of first class that you weren’t stealing glances at him doodling all over and you find it, holding it out to him. Steve takes the paper and chuckles, raising a hand to rest it against the back of his head. “C’mon. Your class is down the hall from mine. I’ll help you find it.”
Wordlessly, you fall in beside him, wandering down the hall. Neither of you are saying anything to each other. As you pass up Nancy’s locker in the hallway, Nancy watches as Steve walks past with you. She notes the way you tuck yourself into his side when the hallway gets a little too crowded. She catches you when you steal a glance up at him and it lingers right as the two of you are almost past the locker she’s standing in front of. She notices the way you’re biting your lip while you’re staring and all of this prompts her to gently nudge her new boyfriend Jonathan, nodding to your retreating backs.
Jonathan follows his girlfriend’s gaze.
“Do you think he’ll be okay?”
“I don’t know. But I do think she’s into him. Who was she?”
Jonathan shrugs. “Not a single clue.”
But Nancy’s curious now. And she’s sensing the potential to fix the mess she made when she broke up with Steve a few months ago. 
“You’re getting an idea.. Aren’t you?”
“Maybe?” Nancy laughs softly as she says it and Jonathan chuckles. “Leave it alone, Nance.”
But she doesn’t want to because she owes Steve.. Something. She feels horrible about the way things ended. Cheating on him even though it’s not what she set out to do.
She hates the way things ended and she’s really hated seeing him the way he is now, all distant and closed off. Shut down.
Steve spots the door to the Home Ec classroom. He nods to it. “There you are.”
You’re lingering in the doorway, almost body to body. “Thanks. I’ll see you around.” you give him another little smile and you turn, making your way into the classroom. As Steve turns to walk away, he finds himself almost nose to nose with Billy Hargrove, who promptly chuckles. Nods to the door you just walked through. “You can’t handle a girl like that, Harrington. You couldn’t even handle that little mouse you got dumped by. What was her name again?”
Steve rolls his eyes.
“I was walking her to class.”
“Sure you were. If you’re smart, Harrington.. You’ll leave her alone.”
“Maybe you’re the one who should do that, Billy.” and Steve has to check himself, he’s not even sure why he’s getting worked up over it to start with, it’s not like you’re his girl. He doesn’t have any right.
All he knows is that you were in a big hurry to get away from Billy Hargrove not even ten minutes ago and that alone tells him you’re not interested in Billy. 
,, And she’s not your girl so this isn’t your business.” his brain reminds, only to have him ignore it because he’s sick and fucking tired of the way Billy’s taken over since his arrival back in October.
He’s not jealous, he’s just annoyed. Irritated.
The guy’s an asshole and everyone seems to flock to that.
Billy chuckles. “That’s not gonna happen, Harrington. You into her or something?” Billy’s taunting him, a menacing gleam in baby blue eyes as he steps just a little closer. “That what this is, Harrington?”
“Nope. I just know for a fact that she was in such a hurry to escape you that she ran into me.” Steve’s standing taller. Studying Billy with an annoyed look on his face and his arms folded over his chest. Billy makes himself taller. Smirks at Steve. “She’s gonna end up with me. I’m pretty good at getting what I want.”
Steve chuckles. Shrugs it off. “Whatever, Hargrove. I really don’t care.”
It’s a lie, he’d rather eat glass before admitting just how much the thought of Billy making yet another girl fall at his feet annoys him, but he’s determined to stick through it. 
“Stay away from her, Harrington.” Billy calls out the warning as Steve walks away, not even bothering to stop and look back or challenging him.
Because if it happens, it happens. All he’s currently trying to do is finish out his senior year and graduate. Get on with his life. Nothing matters anymore.
You wander into your new house, pausing at the door to slip off your shoes and put down your backpack, slip out of your favorite cardigan and hang it neatly on the coat hanger. You close the door behind you and wander over to your father’s state of the art stereo, turning it on and tuning it to the local rock station you prefer and then from there, you wander into the kitchen, sifting through the mail that’s sat on the counter, discarding everything but your catalogs as you wander over and open the double doors of the fridge.
You’ve just popped the tab on your soda when you hear the doorbell ringing, so you wander back out into the living room, throwing open the front door.
“Girl.. This place is big!” your friend Chloe steps into your house and she’s laughing. Talking a mile a minute about what happened today at your old school. And you’d be listening if it weren’t for the fact that you’re just a little distracted, staring at the house across the street.
Steve Harrington is outside, mowing the lawn. A gray t-shirt thrown around his neck to catch the sweat that’s covering his body in a light sheen.
Chloe realizes you aren’t listening and she goes quiet, her gaze following yours.
“He’s kind of a prettyboy, ___. Like Landon.”
You sigh. Give her a sheepish shrug. “He seems sweet though. He’s in my first class of the day.”
“Speaking of.. How weird is it going to our rival high school?” Chloe asks and you finally manage to shut the front door just so you won’t keep staring across the road at the poor guy. You remind yourself a little firmer this time that guys like Steve will break your heart. Zero hesitation.
Your father’s sports car pulls into the circular brick drive in front of the house and he calls out, “Forgot my plane tickets, champ!”
“On the counter, sir!”
“I’m leaving the Visa with you this time. If you girls wanna go into the city and do a little shopping or you need anything, you know the pin, right?”
“Mhm.”
This is standard. You get the same speech every single time he leaves. You’ve been getting it since the summer your mother died, between 8th grade and 9th. When your father started taking more out of town cases. Higher profile ones that meant he’d be away longer. When he started taking solo vacations because he said he needed time.
He goes in for a hug but it’s not the hugs he gave you when you were a little girl, you haven’t gotten one of those since your mom died either. This is stiff and it’s awkward. You pull away and your eyes settle on his navy colored tie. “Dad.. the tie is wrong. You’re going to throw off the whole suit.”
“Fix it,will ya, princess?”
You fix his tie and he chuckles, glancing from you to your best friend Chloe. “You two don’t have any wild parties.”
And then he’s gone, plane ticket in hand. 
Chloe laughs softly. “C’mon. You mentioned this place has a heated pool?”
You laugh. “I did.”
“We can go swim. Teresa and Janey are coming, Janey just had to go home and finish packing her mom for New York.”
“What about Em?”
“She’s gonna no show. And we’re not talking to her right now because oh my god, girl.. Guess who brought her to school this morning?”
“Who?”
“Landon.”
You shrug. “Yeah. I kind of knew  that was coming.”
“It blew up at lunch. They were all over each other and we exploded. I mean, there is such a thing as girl code.”
“Chloe, it’s fine. It’s not like I was gonna marry the guy. Besides.. I broke up with him. Remember?”
“Well yeah, but still. She’s dating him not even a week later. You’re our friend. Friends don’t pull that crap.”
You laugh and smile at her. “It was so hard today, I kept looking for you guys in the hallway. I did make one friend. Her name is Robin? She’s taking AP classes, so she’s in a few of my classes with the seniors.”
“You invited her, right?”
“She said she didn’t want to be in the way. Next time though.”
Chloe smiles. “Good.”
Teresa’s mother’s car pulls into the circular drive out front behind where Chloe parked her older sister’s car when she arrived. Teresa gets out on the driver side and Janey gets out of the passenger seat, the two of them arguing loud about Teresa’s driving and you’re laughing as you open the door again to let them in.
“Girl, holy shit. This house is massive.”
“I’m moving in.”
You laugh, hugging your two friends.
Teresa pulls away from the hug. “Did Chloe tell you about Landon and Em? Girl, that’s who he was cheating on you with.” 
You wince but it doesn’t hurt like you thought it would, finally knowing the  truth. Ultimately, you shrug it off. “It’s whatever, Teresa. I’m over it. It’s not like we were going to get married anyway, I mean.. And honestly, he’s not even that good looking.”
“He’s got balls for a chin.”
You snort, a hand raised to your mouth as you stifle a laugh. “So mean, Teresa.”
“Tessa’s coming too. Mom finally ungrounded her.” Teresa tells you and you laugh. “Unless she gets grounded again.”
“True, you’ve got a point. I can’t believe she thought she’d get away with coming in at 1.”
“Where was she even at?”
“That stupid club in the city? Yeah.. Apparently, Brenda figured out how to score a fake id? She got soooooo wasted. I had to help her up to her room.”
“Wait.. Brenda? Mousy little Brenda? She knows how to score a fake id?” you’re raising a brow because this is surprising. 
“Mhm.  That one.”
 The Mustang Tessa drives pulls to a stop behind the car her twin sister drove and Tessa gets out. “Guess who’s out on parole, bitches!”
She says it so loud that you’re pretty sure Steve’s mother heard her as she got out of her own sports car across the street. Because the woman pauses, looks back at the group of you standing in the open front door of your father’s house and she’s giving you all this look of extreme disdain.
As soon as she’s in the house, Tessa wrinkles her nose. “What the hell was her problem?”
“You know how high on themselves those old money types are, sis.” Teresa laughs. Chloe speaks up. “Her son is hot. I wonder if he has any brothers.. Particularly an older one, y’know me..”
You groan and roll your eyes. And you happen to glance at the house across the street again just in time to see Steve standing in an upstairs window, looking out. You give a little wave and laughing, you turn away, wandering into the house.
“So.. we’re swimming. Right?”
“Duh. I waited for you guys to finally get here so I can test out the heated pool. I ordered pizza too. And Tessa can use her fake id to get us a little something later.” you’re giving the older girl a teasing look and Tessa grumbles, but she finally agrees. “Okay, alright,fine. I better not get in trouble.”
“Girl, nobody in Hawkins knows our mom.”
“Thank God for that.”
All of you make your way up into the room you chose to be yours and you’re taking turns changing into bathing suits in it’s adjoining private bathroom. Janey’s lounging on the bed, flipping through a magazine and you wander over to the big window facing the street, leaning against the glass.
“Hmm.”
“Yeah?” Janey looks up.
“Nothing.”
“Were you creeping on that guy next door?”
You can feel your cheeks burn. “No!”
“Liar!”
“I’m not lying.”
“He’s back.” Janey laughs when you flatten yourself against the wall next to the window and she’s smirking. “Point proven.”
You flip her off.
“Hey, I’m stealing this purple bikini.” Tessa calls out from your walk in closet. You laugh. “Take it. I didn’t like the way it fit. Too much ass.”
“Girl..”
“What? It’s true!”
“If I were a boy, you have no idea.” Teresa is wiggling her brows at you suggestively and you’re laughing and shaking your head. 
You grab your favorite bikini, a red top with little white hearts all over it and a purposely mismatched white bottom with little red hearts all over it and you step into your closet to change. Once you’re done changing, you and your friends wander out into the yard, heading towards the back gate. 
And across the road, Mrs. Harrington rolls her eyes. “Where on Earth are that girls parents?”
Steve almost chokes on the sip of Sprite he’s taken as he tries not to laugh or respond with something that he knows will get him in serious trouble.
His father rolls his eyes at his mother’s query and turns his attention back to Steve. “The coach called to talk to me today at the firm. Says you’ve been less than enthusiastic at practice lately, son. Harringtons are winners.”
“Yes sir.”
“And you need to talk to that rep from my old college. You’ve got to stop being lazy and putting things off. Slacking will not be tolerated.”
“Sweetie, your father just wants what’s best for you. Is this all because of that little drip? What was her name..” his mother rolls her eyes and turns her attention to the sudden shattering of silence, some rock band playing at full blast from the house across the street.
She rubs her forehead, grumbling in annoyance. “Those people are going to bring  down property values.”
Steve clenches his fists. “Don’t you both have a flight to catch soon?”
“We fly out tomorrow. There better not be any girls here while we’re gone.”
“Your mother is right. The last thing you need right now is some little tramp throwing off your focus, kid. You’ve got a big game this Friday. A scout is going to be there. I expect your best effort.”
And Steve goes along with it, nodding his head. But mentally, he’s just reached a point where he’s done. And he doesn’t care. Because he doesn’t want anything his father’s been pushing on him since he was old enough to dribble a ball.
But basketball’s been the only way to get his father’s attention and even an ounce of pride from the man in him. But lately, he’s just reached a point where he doesn’t care. He’s starting to realize that the only time his parents are proud of him happen to be when he’s doing everything they want him to do. It’s as if he’s not allowed anything that might actually make him happy.
They hated Nancy.
They hate it when he goes out or has friends over, they hate anything remotely resembling fun.
“Okay, alright. I will, okay?”
“You’d better. I mean it, son. You’d better start shaping up. High school is almost over, son. It’s time to start growing up. Putting away childish things.”
And Steve can’t take it anymore. He gets up from the table and pushes his chair back into place beneath it forcefully before storming up the stairs.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into that kid but if he doesn’t shape up, I’ll ship him off to the military. That’ll build his character alright. Worked for me.” Steve’s father doesn’t miss a beat, rolling his eyes as the radio in his son’s bedroom kicks on, the sounds of some godawful band filling the house.
Down the table, Steve’s mother glares up at the ceiling. “He was such a sweet little boy. What happened to my sweet little boy? I think it was that frumpy little girl he was so caught up in.. Nancy? Wasn’t that her name? Or was it Nelly?”
Up in his room, Steve grabs his pack of cigarettes, thumping the unopened pack against his palm after he’s opened the window so he doesn’t set off the smoke alarms. Because if he has to take a second more of his parents riding him, he’s going to explode and he knows it.
He flops down in the window seat and leans his head back against the window surround, taking a cigarette out of the pack. And he finds himself glancing across the street to your house. Watching as you and your friends splash around in the heated pool out back. He can hear I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight as it floats across on the night breeze. He chuckles to himself as you try to dive on a massive unicorn float and miss it completely, popping up from beneath the water to splash your friend who is perched on a lounge chair, sipping something out of a wine glass.
As you pull yourself out of the pool and start to walk towards the gate, he quickly drops his gaze, exhaling a plume of smoke out the window and into the night. He’s got his eyes closed, he’s humming along to your radio since apparently, you’re going to let everyone in the neighborhood suffer tonight. Cutting Crew fades to Material Girl by Madonna and his eyes pop open when he hears a hiss coming from the yard below. 
He swings his legs so that they’re out the windows as he sits up, gazing down at you. 
“Hey.”
“Hey.” you’re smiling, a hand caught in wet and wild hair as you tilt your head and stare up at the way he’s sitting half out his bedroom window. You nod to the cigarette pressed between his lips. “You don’t uh.. Do you have more of those?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I bum one? Please?”
“You smoke?” he raises a brow. You shrug. “Everyone has vices, Steve.”
“Yeah. Hang on.”
“Wait, this will be easier if I just ring the bell and ask for you.” you say it and you’re gone before Steve can coax you out of doing that. He hears you ring the doorbell and he swears to himself, hurrying to shove a few cigarettes in the hollowed out book he usually hides his joints in on the rare occasion that his parents are home. And he wanders down the stairs just as your father has thrown open the door and you’re leaning in the doorway.
“Excuse me sir? Your son is in my class, I.. I kind of need to talk to him. It’s about an assignment.”
From behind Steve’s father, his mother speaks up, cutting her eyes at you. “It’s nearly 9 pm. On a Friday. Somehow I doubt you really want to talk to my son about a class assignment.” as she steps into the foyer of the house. 
You can feel the disapproval as it radiates off the woman. But you don’t really care. She reminds you of your old neighbor. Always thinking she’s better than everyone else. Your hand settles on your hip and you flash her a grin. “I’m sorry to bother you so late, ma’am.” and it’s said in your sweetest butter wouldn’t melt of tones. “But I’m trying to catch up. I just moved in.”
“As if the moving truck parked across the street all morning or the construction noises I’ve been subjected to when I happen to be home weren’t obvious.” she’s got her arms folded, she’s looking you up and down and you just know she’s judging you.
And you want to laugh almost immediately.
Because you’re not the one standing around with shoulderpads so ridiculous on a designer blazer and skirt set that you look like a pro linebacker.
You lower the hand caught in your hair. “I can come back.”
“I’ll just go get my son.” Steve’s father gives you this smirk. And it’s similar to Steve’s to a point where you can see exactly where his looks came from, but it’s also different. A little too fake. A little too charming. And it rubs you all sorts of wrong when the man does it.
Steve’s mother is glaring at his father as his father makes his way over to the staircase to yell up for Steve.
You’re relieved when Steve wanders down, and you roll your eyes when his mother immediately stops him and she’s saying something to him in a whisper. You can tell she’s not happy with you being at her door.
It bothers you and amuses you in equal measure.
Steve’s scowling when he walks away from his mom and over to the front door. As he hands you a thick book, he leans in a little. “I think we’re around page 45 in class right now, ___.” he says it with this wink and you nod. “Thank you. I’m sorry to come over so late..” as you laugh softly, giving him this amused little grin.
You’re walking back across the street to get over to your house and take in the pizza that just got delivered when Steve hisses at you to stop from his bedroom window. “Sorry about that. My mom is..” he trails off. You shrug. “Kinda used to it?” you laugh a little. Nod to your house and offer, “If you wanna come over later.. We’re not really doing anything, dude. Just swimming. Tessa’s going to the corner store in a little bit, she’s gonna get some drinks.”
Steve chuckles and shakes his head. “Thanks though. Kind of writing an essay.”
“On a Friday?”
“Yeah.” he laughs quietly. “Why?”
“Nothing.. I mean if I knew your mom’s head wouldn’t explode I’d come over and help.”
“What about your friends though?”
“I mean, unless you’re opposed to having a house full of girls, they’d probably tag along. The offer is open. I mean.. We’re neighbors.” you can feel your face burning and you know you’re fumbling this badly, so you decide it’s time to leave. Go back over to your father’s house and get back to swimming with your friends.
As you wander away and disappear through the back gate, Steve takes a deep breath or two. “Nah..She wasn’t flirting with me.”
He keeps the window open, the sounds of music and laughter competing with REO Speedwagon as it plays quietly on the radio while he attempts a fourth time to come up with an essay that isn’t completely horrible.
And on his smoke breaks, no matter how hard he tries to stay away, he finds himself wandering over to his window. Staring across to yours.
“It’s not gonna happen. And I’m done anyway. Nobody ever stays. Kind of pointless.” he mutters to himself as he lights up his last cigarette and exhales a plume of smoke into the night…
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soul-doc · 2 months
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#56
if one knows not the wild man inside then he knows not his numinous side and sees not a friend but a monster
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rae-gar-targaryen · 2 years
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“...The eternity we've been given is not enough," Druig's thumb that was resting along your jaw is now pressed into the plush of your lower lip, which he drags lightly down, his eyes following the movement. "For I could never have enough time with you.”
Moodboard for “amor fati” made by the incomprarable @ouralcohol​
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sennikold · 1 year
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by talos this can’t be happening.
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cheesebearger · 9 months
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*physically restraining myself from getting in yet another fucking argument about alchemical significations and the perception of alchemical language with someone who is only really versed in the scientific history of alchemy*
#the PERCEPTION of alchemists as 'mystics' is as integral to alchemy as the science was#like there is a REASON people think they were mystics lol. they couched their words in religious doctrine#and we have proof across literature in the early modern period especially of alchemical lang. being used to metaphorize#transcendence or an alteration of the self or of literal racial transformation#there's a reason shakespeare's pericles is only a cohesive narrative when viewed through the lens of an alchemical romance#there is and was a wealth of meaning attributed to alchemy that goes beyond merely 'hiding trade secrets in code'#and it's actually kind of weird to downplay it as just code. as merely code to protect trade secrets#that isnt what these writers were doing - they were producing content for alchemists AND non-alchemists#these books were purchased by laymen. their emblematics were used to decorate people's living room walls as wallpaper#and btw your christian mapmaker shit is once more stupid. yes there is obvious religious meaning in placing religious icons#on a map of the world. it imagines the world as created by a christian god and therefore enforces a christian perspective#depending on what kind of creature or icon used they could be communicating vastly different things#i wouldnt call them a 'mystic' for it but they also werent writing about how overcoming personal suffering can lead to spiritual perfection#like all those readily available alch texts were doing. lmfao#let's just totally ignore the ways in which the EM english audience made paracelsus into a figure of christian mystic alchemy#bc paracelsus personally didnt do it. like thats not how things work. we cannot ignore the perception of these ppl by others lol#it doesnt MATTER that most of the actual alchemists were scientists. it DOES matter that people thought they were mystics#do you understand? that it matters that ppl thought paracelsus was communicating smth about christianity specifically?#that it matters very much actually that people perceived alchemy as a CHRISTIAN (white!) mystic science?#im feeling rabid lol
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mulansaucey · 1 year
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Bat Wives Wine Night
AZRIEL X READER
This is my first thing I’ve put out to public eyes...ever. So please be nice. I had this idea for awhile and this is mostly a teaser to what I truly want to write. I want to make this a full imagine with smut. If you like this idea and want to see a spicier version to how this night ends please let me know. I’m always open to criticism and always looking for advice so as long as we are nice about it let me know what you think. Im gonna start writing more stuff and will be open to requests. Thank you and I hope you like this little teaser. 
PART 2:
WARNINGS: drugs and alch used responsibly, dirty thoughts by the bat boys
CONCEPT: The bat boys finally realize what their mates are up to on their top secret Wine Nights 
“Oh my gods…you’re right” Feyre softly said. 
     Feyre, Nesta, and I were sitting at the River House sipping on wine and enjoying what we call Bat Wives Wine Night when I had the realization that our husbands have had 500 plus years of experience and fun while us wives are in our 20’s being depressed and stressed for majority of our lives. This was unacceptable and not fair at all. We deserve to let loose and live a little. Go drink til we throw up, smoke mirthroot and tobacco as we pleased. To just be stupid, reckless teens. A night where we didn’t have to be perfect, just ourselves. We all looked at each other with understanding that our simple little wine nights just became a lot more fun. 
    “Okay ladies, once a month like we do now we keep letting our mates think we have wine, eat cheese on a platter and gossip. But let’s just go crazy, do whatever we want because we feel like it. Because we can. We’re young, hot, and rich. Let’s just be stupid, not enough to be dangerous but enough to have some memories to laugh fondly at just like our darling husbands. We are Bat Wives, I say we give them a run for their money.” I declare loudly watching my High Lady’s eyes light up with mischief (just like her mate). Nesta’s feline grin gave me the approval I needed from her. Thank the Mother our mates were not here to hear us declare our secret fun. 
    “Our mates will find out though, eventually. Cass is nosey, drills me on what happens on our Wine Nights. Such a gossip…” Nesta whispers the last part. 
    “Plus your mate is the Spymaster…” Feyre concludes by taking a sip of her wine. Yes he is, my beautiful, sweet, loving mate. Azriel. We’ve been married and mated for over a year now. I met him at a time when I swore off love at the nice age of 19 years old. But he was so kind and patient, building up our friendship first and making me feel seen as a person. He is a wonderful male and he had to fight many battles to get where he is today. But I am not Azriel, I’ve barely traveled out of my own court. Our perspectives can be quite different which I love but I want to create my own experiences as well. After the war, after almost dying I realized life can be taken from me at any moment and I want to spend those moments knowing I made good memories. That I lived. Even if it’s once a month with my sister in laws doing something as silly as smoking mirthroot. It’s something to ease the soul, bonding between just us girls. 
    “So what? Let’s see how long we can go til they figure it out. Make it a game, see how far we can go before they find out just how unhinged we are.” I giggle just a bit tipsy. The girls and I burst out laughing and start planning what we should do next month. 
*TWO YEARS LATER*
   Two years and counting. Our darling husbands STILL think we have a quiet night in with some books and snacks. It’s truly comical. It’s also nice to know something they don’t. 
“I’ll miss you.” Az murmurs in my hair, holding me til I walk into the River House front door. I tighten my arms around his waist and breathe him in. He takes a step back looking at me, love and adoration flowing through the bond between us. Az looks heart eyed, as if seeing me for the first time. I can’t tease him because I know for a fact I’m looking at him with the very same look. 
    “Can you guys just make out already so we can start drinking?” Nesta says unamused. I jumped back from Azriel, startled. When did she open the door? Nesta walks further away from us into a deeper part of the house. I turn back to find Az already looking at me. Something about Azriel is he is absolutely clingy in the best way possible. Physical touch and quality time are his love languages, any time we have to part it’s a bit dramatic because we simply hate saying goodbye. It’s the love I’ve always wanted. I love the Wine Nights as he has nights with his brothers to get away but nothings better than coming home and finding my place within his arms. 
    “If you ever wanna leave early just let me know and we can cuddle and I can go down on you.” Az’s cheeky grin showed proudly. I laugh while pushing him, he grabs my wrist playfully holding me to him. He brushes some hair from my cheek and presses his smooth lips to mine. We stand there for what feels like hours just feeling each other's breath mingle, when he glides his naughty tongue against my lips I pull away. Both us panting I say, “Go Az, before I actually ditch them for you.” I giggle. He very reluctantly peels his hands off my body and shoots up the sky with a wink, surely a promise of great fun when he picks me up tomorrow morning. 
        With the mating haze slowly leaving my brain a new found giddiness found its way in. We’ve started doing full on sleepovers instead of a few hours of mingling. That way we can return to the River House and clean up before our mates return to us. Truthfully it started after Feyre had way too many tequila shots and threw up for two hours begging us not to call for Rhys as our “cover” would be blown. I skip into the River House and take a look at my girls. 
    “Ready to fuck shit up?” I ask. “We’ve been ready, we were betting if you two would actually fuck on my front door.” Feyre says as fill her cups with wine, pregaming for later. Nesta laughs while grabbing my hand leading me into Feyre’s room. She has the biggest bathroom and closet for these occasions. We all start getting ready putting on our preferred style of makeup and clothing. Laughing loudly as we gossip about Beron’s hairline that keeps going further back as each year passes. We truly don’t know if it is but we all love roasting that horrible man. Once we are satisfied with our looks for the night we get ready to winnow to Veela, a club the IC doesn’t frequent too often. It’s newer and doesn’t have the huge crowd Rita’s does. It’s perfect, truly. We won’t run into anyone we know, not too crowded, but fun and rowdy. We pack the leftover mirthroot and tobacco from last month and winnow to the club saving us some time. We walk right in finding our usual table free in the corner. 
    “Let’s start with some shots ladies.” Nesta yells out heading to the bar, I’m a bit scared because Nesta’s choices in liquor are questionable at times. Feyre and I start people watching and laughing as we see the funny things the already drunk patrons are doing. I start rolling a blunt and a few j’s also a few cigarettes as I tend to want to smoke one after a good drink or two. Nesta comes back with the shots and our preferred mixed drinks in hand. We raise our glasses cheering for another successful Bat Wives Wine Night. 
    About an hour or so later we are tipsy, Nesta not so as she prefers to smoke mirthroot. Her struggles with drinking have lessened, she has a drink or two while she watches Feyre and I dance on tables. Nesta nursing a joint between her fingers swaying to the music she loved. Nesta says the plant helps her feel connected to it. Whatever, I don't care as long as we do what we want and feel safe doing it. I am a fan of both, I hop off the table and take the joint between my lips taking a long drag before exhaling into her mouth as we both giggle uncontrollably. Her red eyes meet mine, seeing Nesta relaxed and having fun is a privilege and I’m glad she feels safe enough to do so. We all love our mates but I think being with each other brings a new peace to our hearts. Sisters and friends, we are loved. For the first time in a long time we are loved. Her eyes widen, face slack as I laugh and turn I start coughing inhaling sharply as I see them. 
Our husbands. 
Our mates. 
Staring. 
    I gently pull Feyre off the table where she was dancing with two other fae, gently pushing her head to make her see what we see. Feyre chokes on her breath. 
“Shit…” Feyre mutters. Shit, indeed. 
*BOYS POV*
    Flying to the House of Wind, Azriel thought of his sweet mate. Years they’ve indulged their wives in their one night of secrecy. They deserved it, for being selfless and caring. Their mates have sacrificed a lot for them, for the Night Court. But they are busy bodies at heart, they can’t help but be curious. They love their wives, they just want to be included. Azriel lands on the balcony to see Cass and Rhys nursing a glass of whiskey. He walks in and pours himself a glass. 
    “Az, what do you think they do all night?” Cass says looking into his glass, pouting. Rhys looks unamused, Nesta probably told him off for being nosy. “Cass, they’re women. They drink their wine and dish about the new love interest in the books they read. Don’t think too hard you’ll hurt yourself.” Rhys chuckles as Cass throws a pillow at him. Rhys ducking slightly missing the pillow. 
    “I’m not but you know what I’m talking about. They smell like tequila and there’s traces of makeup and good perfume on them. Think about it, what do our mates truly get up to?” Cass says. Azriel sits and starts to think while Rhys and Cass get into it. Azriel the ever observant once couldn't have missed this right? He trusted his mate, knew she wouldn’t do anything stupid. Right? 
    Rhys stands after an hour or two of them not so obsessively tracking back to all the times they’ve had their Wine Nights. “Let’s go to the house now, we’ll say we forgot something. Catch them off guard.” He looks at the boys in confirmation. All their eyes light up in glee of possibly catching their mates doing something scandalous. But how they underestimate their wives is truly amusing. How they didn’t catch on after two years, even more so. 
    They set off for the River House when they landed there was silence. No giggling or tinking of wine glasses. Nothing. At first panic rushed in thinking someone hurt their mates but once they reached the master bedroom they saw clothes strung across the place, makeup and hair products messily sitting on the counter. The girls usual PJ’s on the floor. They went out.
     Cass scoffs, “I knew it! I KNEW THEY WENT OUT WITHOUT US! HA RHYS, I TOLD YOU!” he booms loudly, happy to be right and Rhys to be wrong. Azriel immediately makes a plan to find them, sending his shadows out. Once he gathered they were in the city they set their sights there. They went to Rita’s, not a trace. They searched restaurants and pleasure halls, Azriel questioning the staff there. They learned not only did they go out tonight but have frequented these places multiple times, without them. They were smart, Az gave them that. The girls used cash wherever they went instead of billing them, going as far as to use fake names and backstories when they would stop by the herb shop to purchase mirthroot and tobacco. Something they did not know their mates indulged in. For a second they questioned their mates, if they truly knew them. Now they for sure were set to find out answers. Azriel’s shadow reported to him they were across the city in a new club. 
    The music was pounding, drunk and high fae dancing or sitting and laughing. Azriel first spotted his High Lady and mate dancing on a table top, Feyre pouring tequila down his mate’s throat. Azriel couldn't lie, the sight made his pants tighten, seeing the hard liquor pouring down his wife’s very low top trickling onto her breasts. Watching her throat bob up and down, very similar sight to when she has him in her mout- “WHAT THE FUCK!” Rhys exclaims though it sounds more like a whisper compared to the very raunchy music booming in the background. Az notes that though Feyre lets loose at Rita’s and has fun, Feyre looks unhinged. As if she wasn’t the High Lady of Night but a 20 something year old who was having fun. Azriel laughed as he watched with his brothers, they stayed in the corner out of the way but still in eye sight of their girls. He watched his mate get off the table and steal the joint Nesta was nursing, blowing it in her mouth. Cass watches just as intently, in fascination and horniness. “I didn’t know they did THIS on their wine nights, I didn’t even know Nes smoked at all.” Cass says. He’s starting to wonder just how nice it would be to get Nesta this relaxed then fuck her for hours under smoke induced love making. Rhys is no better, watching Feyre swing her hips against the strangers around her. Wanting so badly to take her in the bathroom. But first it’s business. 
“Alright, brothers. They’ve had their fun now let’s crash.” Rhys said with a smirk. All together they marched towards their mates and stood waiting for them to realize. All had a mask of indifference though they really wanted to burst out laughing. One by one each girl’s head turned and paled. 
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smallartiststuff · 4 months
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When Giangio takes over your brain and you end up doodling him all day... help.
I may also have started writing a full on backstory for the lovely alche- pharmacist and started a playlist. So yeah, Im down bad. Help.
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alsamara · 3 months
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75 Hard
Day 2: January 3, 2024
[X] Selfie
[X] Read 10 Pages
- Smarter Not Harder By Dave Asprey
[X] Drink 1 Gallon of Water
-64/128 fl oz
[X] Outdoor Workout (45mins)
-Walked outside. It was cold and rainy, but we conquered.
[X] Indoor Workout (45mins)
-Form by Sami Clarke & PT for my legs & neck
[X] Eat Desired diet/NO Alch
Breakfast: protein shake
Snack: freeze dried apples and chicken
Dinner: Collards, beans, and chicken sausages
P.S I need to remember to get lemons and ginger tomorrow so I can make ginger shots because I do want to start my day with hot lemon ginger water and chia seeds. I miss doing that. So yum.
Thoughts + Feelings
Writing this at 3:23pm:
Started off today with my outdoor walk. It was a misty snow mixture this AM! My face and fingers were numbbbbb by the end of the walk, but I kept telling myself the cold exposure is working. Im so glad I got my Apple Watch up and running again to track today’s walk. I love watching my rings close. Rly makes life more satisfying… I will be getting a balaclava, running gloves, and fleece lined leggings tho. This is a definite fact.
I had a massage immediately after so I didn’t have time to make my protein shake which is fine.. I wasn’t hungry yet and I also hate laying on a massage table with a full stomach. For now I am going to be sleepy, enjoy my protein shake, and get my 10 pages in + some water to flush out my massage. 💗 check ya in a bit.
Update 9:39pm:
I got my indoor workout done with Form by Sami Clarke and did my daily PT exercises. I will say Form makes me realize how weak my core is from my endo surgeries. Deep in my heart it makes me feel sad that I didn’t do PT when doctors were suggesting it. Whatever tho. I’m going to be going back to softer work outs like yoga and Pilates for abs moving forward. Healing movements > all
Goodnight you guys,
Aly
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clawdia-xboxliver · 5 months
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mutual 1: if waluigi sang the mlp title theme itd be like my wittle powy... my wittle powwyyy... wahh waahh Waahhhh!!!
mutual 2: i hope tumblr dies so hard staff is forced to commit seppuku
mutual 3: i need her so bad i feel sick [picture of the granny from cookie clicker]
mutual 4: i love disco elysium because they make them
mutual 5: dni dicko elysicum fans. ohhhh youre too GOOD for incremental change??? not gonna vote for biden because of his "support of genocide"?? i hope your pants pee themselves
mutual 6: this and some hole [photograph of the aftermath of the failed Riocentro bombing of 1981]
mutual 7: the wtc had some toxic yuri going on with the planes tbh
mutual 8: the straights stole the glory hole from the gay male community
mutual 9: why i only blog about the golden age of porn? would you ask why a fish only blogs about the sea
mutual 10: what if it was called the mos eisley CUNTina 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
mutual 11: who up exhibiting symptoms of a personality disorder
mutual 12: kibble is lowkey kind of a fire dessert
mutual 13: writing a callout post for @clawdia-houyhnhnm. it blogs in favour of alch buffing your top path tack shooters
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alch3mic · 1 year
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Going back and reading huntsman is kinda funny. You apologize in the notes for the self-indulgence and now you have a crowd going feral for it at any given moment
truthfully, when i first started writing huntsman i knew that yanderes weren't exactly everyone's cup of tea.. so.. i thought i was mostly writing that to indulge my own self interests more than anyone else. i never realized how many people would enjoy the subject matter until people really reacted well to it, and i'm incredibly thankful so many people like these boys now. i've come to love them dearly!
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ouralcohol · 1 year
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FREAKING OUT. When your first fic reaches 300 notes.... insane. i am in pure disbelief.
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ashes-writing · 11 months
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outer banks ● one girl two guys pt 5 ● j. maybank + t. thornton
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(( changing up the photos a little bit. bear with me. these came from pinterest, btw. and they're part of my little image hoard.))
warnings
complicated relationships... all around., jealousy, angst. pining, friends to lovers, looots of PDA ( you've been warned, if you're not fond of touching/kissing/affection) , fluff. Kiara -and her audacity, Sarah -and her jealousy, eventual filth, confrontations of the verbal and possibly physical kind. rivalry. mentions of alcohol + 🍃, sex / pda and varying states of undress and other potential adultier themes to come. sarcasm and dark humor, ig.
word count
3407 exactly. welcome to part 5. for the context, here's part 4.
-- y'all are gonna be so fucking siiiick of me and my bullshit,oops rip.
summary
One girl. Two guys. You're feeling torn. This can't possibly go wrong or be messy at all.. Right?
-- my summaries are traash and I own this.
taglist + shoutouts
-- taglist for outer banks -as well as every other fandom I write for can be found ( here ). If you'd like to be on it, please add yourself or let me know, i'll happily add you.
@tbmunson - i love you sm bestie. you knew i was going to tag you for this bc you're my inspiration, always!!
@valentineshiftz - your comments omg you don't know how much they mean to me. i can't even begin to thank you and I'm so glad you're enjoying this.
@writingreadinglurkingandsmirking - your comments make my day, like.. i'm living for your reactions!
other links
masterlist ● jj's masterlist ● topper's masterlist ● about+ rules
“Burger and fries for table 2. All dressed.” you tell the cook in back the order from table 2 and you’re heading back out with a pitcher of beer and the appetizer they ordered and Kiara stops you halfway out of the kitchen. 
“What? I’m kind of busy, Kiara.”
“You’ve been talking to Topper Thornton a lot lately.” Kiara’s staring at you with a solemn look and her arms folded. You blow a bubble with your gum, raise your brow at her. “Yeah? And?”
“I just don’t think that’s a good idea, ___. And it’s really upsetting JJ.” Kiara tacks on that last part and you laugh quietly. “It’s not upsetting him. It shouldn’t be. I mean… correct me if I’m wrong here, you’re the girlfriend.”
“Right. And as the girlfriend, I just thought.. Nevermind. Look, you hate me and I get that. But JJ hasn’t done anything.”
You blow out a breath. “Now kind of isn’t the time to talk about this, Kie. The place is packed. Look.. I’m just trying to finish out my shift here, okay? I’ve got stuff to do later.”
“We used to be friends, ___.”
“Yeah? Blame your mom. Maybe if she’d keep her fucking nose out of places it doesn’t belong.. Maybe if you didn’t go home telling her everything.. A friend would have kept their mouth shut, especially if they knew opening it might come with the risk of their friend being sent to live with some asshole who never wanted their friend born to begin with.” you’re blowing up but you can’t help it. Kiara rubs her forehead. “I’m sorry, okay? Maybe I just thought..”
You cut her off. “Did I ask you to think? Did I ask for help, Kie? No. No, I didn’t.”
She takes a deep breath. “Fair enough. So that’s why you hate me? It’s not because I’m with JJ?”
,, oooh… go ahead, ___. Tell her the truth.” the thought comes and for a second, you seriously play with the idea. But in the end, you decide against it. Because you’re trying so hard to keep from pushing JJ away completely. Because when this thing with Kie comes to a bitter end -and it will, you know Kiara too well, she gets bored too easy- you don’t want to have alienated him. You don’t want him to feel like he can’t come to you.
“I don’t care who you date. The fact that you even think I do is kind of stupid. Possibly even a little self-centered.” you laugh as you look at her, smirking. Watching your comment settle over her because you’re that special kind of petty to a point where you have to hurt someone exactly as much as they hurt you.
You weren’t always like this.
But then everybody in your life disappointed you. Kept hurting you, kept breaking promises. Now you live in a constant state of defense mechanisms active.
“You need to apologize to JJ. Because it bothers me to see him like this.”
When she says this, you’re half out of the kitchen. You pause in the doorway and you look back, mouth agape at her audacity, -and maybe the fact that she’s apparently so clueless that she doesn’t know why things are strained between you and JJ Maybank right now.
The fact that he hasn’t bothered to tell his poor and clueless pretty little girlfriend anything only cuts just a little more. Because it basically confirms what you’re already figuring out. He doesn’t feel the same way about you and when you tried to show him how you felt back at the beginning of summer, it was probably the stupidest thing you could’ve done.
You’re tempted to tell her exactly what went down that night but you don’t for reasons that have everything to do with not making things worse or causing problems between the boy you’re in love with and his flavor of the month. The thought, as it comes, leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. ,, you’re pitiful. A real mess,  y’know? Just tell her. See how quick she is to demand you be the one to apologize then.” 
“You need to keep your nose out of my life.” you finally manage to respond, walking out into the front of the restaurant. You let the door slam behind you. Kiara stands there, a hand caught in her hair. Staring at the door because she’s now got the strong feeling that she’s missing a lot of context.
The rest of the short shift passes by in a blink. Around the end of it, just as you’re clocking out, you’re surprised to see Topper and his friends standing outside one of the big windows in the front. Topper sees you and he starts to make faces at you, making it hard to focus, making you snicker quietly as Anna is telling you about some stupid party the restaurant is hired to cater at the end of the week. 
Kiara’s barely listening, she’s paying closer attention to the way you and Topper act with each other. Because you’ll glance over and pull a crazy face right back at him and at one point, you’re pretending like you’re going to fall asleep on your feet as if you’re bored out of your skull.
Anna finally finishes talking to you and Kie, releasing you both from work for the afternoon. You rush out and Topper is leaned against the front wall of the building, sipping a snow cone through a straw as he holds one out to you. You take it and suck it down greedily.
Kelce is looking from you to Topper wordlessly. Rubbing his chin in thought, especially when you and Topper seem to migrate closer together as a crowd of tourists overtakes the sidewalk and forces this to happen. Topper’s got a hand at your waist and you’re staring up at him.
“C’mon, man. We’re losing peak waves.” Kelce points out, barely hiding laughter as he glances from you to Topper. He’s just seen Sarah and John B walk past but his best friend has been so caught up in staring at you for a few seconds now that Topper didn’t even notice they walked past.
And Kelce is thinking to himself that’s definitely a good sign. Maybe the idiot will leave Sarah Cameron alone and stop running back the second she comes around batting her lashes, even hinting that she might want him back.
Topper finally breaks out of his daze, responding to Kelce. “Yeah. We should get going.”
Your brain’s finally done a full reset and you manage to nod, muttering a quiet “Yep.” in agreement. Topper turns his attention to you again. “You have sunblock.. Right? Because you got burnt really bad the last time we went out.”
You hold up your backpack. “In here somewhere.”
When he slips an arm around you as the three of you make your way down the dock to Topper’s waiting boat, you’re pulled into his side, the scent of his designer cologne enveloping you as you breathe it in before you can stop yourself from doing it. And it’s becoming  habit by this point, it’s getting so that if you’re out somewhere and you even think you catch a whiff of it -or similar scents- you’re looking for Topper’s face in the crowd.
This thought, as it hits, is more than a little scary.
He steps onto his boat, reaching out. Grabbing you by the hips to pull you on board. You’re laughing about it and the sound carries. The sound of your laughter manages to get the attention of JJ as he pulls the Pogue to a stop on the opposite side at the end of the dock. When he looks up just in time to see Topper Thornton pick you up by the hips and pull you onto his stupid little boat, he glares at Topper.
Topper gives him this little shrug, it’s mild. He smirks too. Holds JJ’s gaze as JJ looks from Topper to you, your back is to him so you don’t see. You’re staring up at Topper and the pang of jealousy that hits JJ takes him by surprise.
It shouldn’t bother him to see his best friend happy and he knows this. But then he’s thinking back to that night about two months ago. When you were in his lap, your arms around his neck. All cozy with him. When you told him he was pretty. When you told him you wanted to kiss him and he panicked and shut down because it was everything he wanted and he didn’t know how to handle it beyond the fear that overtook after you said it. He’s aware that he got in his own way. And for a while, he thought maybe that wasn’t a bad thing.
Seeing you with Topper all the time lately has him starting to wonder if he was wrong about that theory. Feeling like his reaction that night to the way you were being so affectionate was a complete mistake.
The boat takes off and he watches as you and Topper disappear from view.
John B and Sarah wander over and John’s jaw flutters. As soon as he sees the anger blaze in his best friends eyes, he nods. Because he’s just seen the way his girlfriend was looking at her ex boyfriend as if he was betraying her. And he hasn’t said anything to Sarah yet but it’s really bothering him.
“You saw ‘em too, huh?”
“Mhm.” JJ answers, glancing from John B to Sarah. He shares a look with his best friend and then he shrugs. “We need to get a move on. Pope’s waiting.”
“Yeah.”
Kiara rushes over, throwing her arms around JJ. She’s upset again and when she starts telling JJ why, he nods quietly. And a sliver of hope lingers even though it shouldn’t, taking hold. You didn’t tell Kiara about what happened between you and him earlier this summer. ,, or what didn’t happen but could’ve happened.” he reminds himself, bitter at the thought.
If you were really all in with Thornton, it stands to reason you would’ve just told her.
,, or maybe she’s a good person and she didn’t want to do something to mess you and Kiara up. Kiara’s your girl, man. You can’t have them both.”
But selfishly, in an ideal world, this is what he’d want. Because he feels very strong feelings for you both and it’s got him torn two different ways.
“When did that even happen? How?” Sarah speaks up. Kiara shrugs. “It’s probably a rebound thing. That or he’s up to something.”
“He’s not like that.” Sarah says it and she can feel John B staring at her. She looks up at him and sighs. “He’s not, okay? Maybe it’s a good thing, maybe he’s moving on.”
But deep down, the fact that he might just be moving on.. This bothers Sarah just a little more than it should.
You gulp as soon as you see the waves today. You melt into Topper’s side just a little and for a few seconds, you wonder exactly what you let yourself be talked into. Topper chuckles. “You’ll be fine, okay? I won’t let anything happen.”
You nod. Swallowing hard. Gazing up at him and then glancing back out at the water. “That wave was big.”
“It’s not as scary as it looks. But first..” Topper nods to his board, “You need to learn how to stand. C’mere.” he steps away, standing by his board. You’re pouting a little before you even realize it, you didn’t want him to let go yet and this thought as it settles in, has your mind reeling.
,, okay but you did say it yourself when you were arguing with JJ not so long ago. You’re definitely attracted to Topper Thornton physically. That’s it. That has to be all this is…Right?”
Deep down, you’re starting to suspect it’s not. But you’re not about to let yourself acknowledge it. Because you’ve started to get close to Topper and you like being friends with him. God knows that falling for him might possibly have the same end result as you, finally making a desperate attempt to clue JJ in to how you felt about him at the beginning of summer. 
You wander over and you step onto the board. You swallow hard when Topper steps on behind you, hands at your waist as he pushes down on your body just a little to get you to bend down like you need to be. “Keep your feet apart.”
“Like this?” you question. Topper nods, chuckles quietly. “Like that. You’re going to feel like your balance is off when you’re out there. If you have to, put your arms out.” his hands leave your hips to settle on your arms and he guides them into place. He’s pressed against you from behind.
From nearby on the sand, Kelce chuckles. “She needs to turn her foot a little, dude.”
Topper looks down and nods. “Yeah. He’s right. You need to turn your foot towards the front of the board.”
“This is complicated. How the fuck do you remember all this?” you’re exasperated with yourself because you’re just feeling like you have to look awkward. And you’re a little scared because you know they go out where the water will be over your head. You can swim exactly enough to save your life and that’s it.
Topper chuckles at your outburst, the sound sending just the teeniest jolt racing through you. “Relax.” he mutters quietly, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. “You can swim right?”
“Uhm..” you give him a sheepish look. He bites his lip. “Okay, change of plans. Because you kind of need to learn to swim first. You’re going to wipe out.”
You nod. And then he’s scooped you up, making you laugh and have to throw your arms around his neck to hang on. He’s carrying you out into the water and Kelce, just to be a little shit, he hollers out, “Jesus. Get a room, guys.”
You can feel a slow heat work it’s way from the pit of your stomach when you lock eyes with Topper as he laughs. That heat spreads through you til it’s settled in the tips of your ears. He’s teasing you a little when he asks, “Are you blushing right now?”
You pout up at Topper a little. “I don’t blush.”
“I think you do. I think you are.”
“Am not!” you smack at his chest lightly and you laugh. And it’s a real one. You haven’t really laughed in a while. It feels good to laugh again.
When he starts to wade out to where the water is starting to creep up your body higher, you cling to Topper. “Hey, whoa..” he coaxes. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. Relax.”
You nod and you’re staring up at him, lost in the varying shades that make up his eyes. You’re staring really hard. It’s hard enough that he’s staring right back. “I’m gonna lower you down a little.. Okay? But my hands are gonna stay on you, I swear. I’m not going to let you drown. Relax.”
“Easy for you to say, you were swimming and surfing at birth.” you mutter, the softness in your voice has him biting back a quiet groan.. Especially now that it’s combined by the way he feels holding you right now. He chuckles quietly. “I wasn’t.”
“You were! You won your first surfing thing when you were like what.. Ten?”
“How’d you know that?” he laughs. You laugh softly. “JJ entered too. I had to listen to him have an angry meltdown when you won and he didn’t.” you admit quietly. Topper chuckles. 
But then he stops to think about it. Realizes that he’s seen you at a few of his competitions when they’re local. JJ hasn’t entered one in years.
He doesn’t say anything though because he’s not trying to give himself any reason to get his hopes up. So when you admit to going to a few shows he’s been in because it’ll pass time, he’s a little shocked.
,, Kildare is boring. She was just looking for something to do.” is countered by ,, But she was there. Sarah couldn’t even be bothered.” and it’s not much but it’s somehow more than even his own girlfriend at the time could be bothered to do.
“Something just nipped my foot!” you’re squealing, clinging to him even more and he realizes in this moment that if his goal was not to fall for you, yeah.. He’s beyond fucked.
He laughs. “Are you gonna be okay, ___?”
“Haven’t you seen Jaws? I know what’s in deep water, dude.” you’re pouting up at him as you say it and he laughs again. “Jaws is a movie.”
“And what makes it scary is that it fucking happens on occasion. Sharks get snackish.”
“I’m not gonna let you become shark bait.”
“You’re not gonna be able to stop it!” you’re being dramatic and you know it. But you’re both laughing. For once you’re having fun. You don’t have so many negative things in your mind threatening to take over. You want to enjoy the moment.
Topper lowers you to the water and he keeps his arms beneath you. You suck in a breath. Stare up at him. “Okay. Relax. Try to float.”
“I’m telling you, I will sink.”
“No you won’t.” Topper’s voice has a calming effect. You try to relax and you’re even floating a little. Until the second you feel him slowly slipping his arms out from beneath you, then your eyes are popping open and you sink down just a little. When you come back up, you splash him. He splashes back. Picks you up by your hips. Your legs slip around his waist. “Better? Now will you stop freaking out on me? People are gonna think I’m drowning you, woman.” he’s barely hiding laughter.
You pout at him again. But you slip your arms around his neck and nod, biting your lip as you stare at him and the laughter dies away. “Yeah. Much.” you respond quietly. 
Then he dunks you both and you surface from beneath the water, splashing at each other. Kelce paddles out on his board. “Since you two are gonna goof off, I’m napping.”
You share a look with Topper and as Kelce’s board floats past, he reaches out, tipping Kelce off. Kelce comes up from beneath the water, sending up rowdy splashes. Soaking both of you because the second you realize the water is up to your mouth now and you can’t touch bottom with your toes, you fling yourself at Topper all over again dramatically, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist as you cling to his body.
“Hey! Easy, man.” Topper gives Kelce a dirty look but Kelce chuckles, mimics the sound of a cracking whip as he looks from his best friend to the way you’re clinging to him and have your face buried in his neck. You look up at Topper, eyes catching on the way a drop of water drips down from blond tips.. Rolls down the slope of his nose and settles on his lips. 
Your legs squeeze his hips just a little tighter and everything just kind of falls away. He’s staring at you and he can’t stop himself. He notices the exact second you melt into him a lot more and he mumbles quietly, “You okay?”
“Just realizing you’re really not going to try and drown me, that’s all.” you give him a sheepish smile and he grins. “I told you, didn’t I? You can actually trust me.”
“Yeah.” you answer, managing to tear your eyes off of him for just a second.
“Lemme see your board, Kelce.”
“Dude..”
“Board, Kelce. Now.”
Kelce pushes the board to Topper. Topper sits you on it and moves to stand between your legs. “Not so bad, huh?”
“It’s kinda cool. I’m not crazy about trying to stand up on it yet though.”
“It’s okay.” Topper laughs quietly. 
“Yeah.” you answer. Leaning down into him a little.
“For the last time. Just get a room.”
Topper flips Kelce off and you’re laughing. Burning up all over, but laughing again.
This is definitely one of the better days of your summer.
“I’m having fun.” you admit quietly and Topper grins at you. “Me too.”
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makerofmadness · 4 months
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I'm gonna just watch through that entire Darkest Night Chapter 1 video I posted the link I found as I get opportunities to 'cus I think I just. Need to engage with some light-hearted stuff rn until I can go home and have my family around me.
anyway uh I've already watched a bit and Gingerbrave is the Chosen One so that's neat. Also there's a new villain. And some other cool-looking stuff. Anyway I'm mainly here to just dump about the Alchemist stuff I've seen so far I've paused in the middle of it because of school (just got back at the break between class and us going on a trip for class so that's why I'm writing this post-) because Alchemist Cookie Content Real and it's voice-acted I am in heaven just what the doctor ordered istg (look I've legitimately been having a crisis and. Some silly blorbo content is what I need to make it to the end of the week-)
btw my screenshots are from watching the video by 99TH VR that is a no-commentary walkthrough of the game so credit goes to where credit belongs.
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This. Brings me joy. Look at her she's so scrunkly. (Also she says something about Gingerbrave looking "oddly familiar" and just. This is like barely into the game so im guessing there'll be an answer to that later or in the future chapters of the thing since this is "darkest night chapter 1" but Man im wondering is gingerbright gonna be in this and is that who she's referring to?-)
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Ego as always (you go girl keep that self-confidence)
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LOOK AT HER 😭😭
ok so while writing this post we went On The Road (museum trip for class) and basically without an actual WiFi I can't upload images (I've tried brute-forcing it several times and it just Won't) so. I'll just describe the rest of what I've seen:
*So apparently she's trying to awaken... Franken-Cookie???? Which looks like a giant version of Zombie Cookie. girl why is your life always surrounded by movie monsters first your brother is basically Dracula and now you're trying to wake Frankenstein's monster. What's next. (Also I find this ironic since Ovenbreak established that the idea of creating life is something that she doesn't seem to like since it makes her tense about Butter Bear. Then again she doesn't say she made franken cookie just that they have to wake them up to break the gate open).
*"I've been researching methods to concoct the most potent of Revival Potions" Alchemist and her Life And Revival Stuff again-
*Apparently Alch's just. Content to stay in here like Forever? Which makes me wonder where Vampire is... uh anyway like also she basically says she doesn't know anything about politics or care because she just wants to do alchemy and like. The fact she just calls the literal Darkest Lord and his shzt "politics mumbo-jumbo" sent me-
so yeah I'm just gonna watch more of this and then probably have more brainrot and hopefully that'll fix me at least a little bit before I go home-
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yo-momsin-mybed · 1 year
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It's okay baby (ryan/dylan)
Summary: Dylan wakes up in the hospital while it's just Ryan there. Dylan doesn't remember much of the incident at first and it shocked by his handless arm.
Notes: I apologize for the amount of angst I write, it's my specialty, that being said trigger warning: violence talk, amputation, drug/alch talk, etc.
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Ryan held dylans hand and sat down into the chair near him. Kaitlyn and Jacob had just left to go home and dylans mother was taking a nap and shower at home.
Dylans been out for a few days now and all of them had taken turns watching over Dylan. Ryan's been taking on most of it, trying his best to make up for what he took away.
Ryan felt tears drip down his face, the past few days have hell, between the questioning at the police station, taking care of Sarah, and watching over Dylan he was exhausted.
Ryan was full on sobbing, loudly gasping to get a breath.
He felt something squeeze his hand, he looked up fast, tears flinging onto the bed. "Dylan?" He crooked
"Its okay, are you okay?" Dylan asked, "why am i-" he cut himself off looking down at where his hand use to be. "What-"
"I'm sorry-" Ryan hiccuped, bring dylans hand to his face, "I'm so sorry, Dylan I shouldn't have, im-"
"What the fuck" Dylan yelled, still looking at his wrist, "oh my God, oh my God, it was- it was fucking real" Dylan started hyperventilating.
Ryan noticed and let go of dylans hand and grabbed his shoulders, "Hey, hey Dylan, look at me" he said as calmly as he could. "Its okay, I'm sorry-fuck" he said in defeat.
Dylan sobbed more, "my hand?" He whispered
"Its okay, baby" Ryan said rubbing dylans hair, they both stared at each other for a moment, tears staining their faces, "its okay, baby" Ryan repeated softly and more confidently.
Dylan nodded and pushed over in the bed, "please," he said not even looking at Ryan.
Without a word Ryan climbed into the bed, getting comfortable.
Dylan instantly threw himself on Ryan's chest, sobbing some more, not even about his hand anymore he was just overwhelmed.
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Dylan" Ryan repeated shakingly, trying his best to remain calm.
"No, no, it's okay" dyaln said looking up at Ryan, "its okay, baby" he said sheepishly
Ryan smiled and leaned his head back, continuing to rub his back.
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