#ahem not to only come on here to share negative thoughts etc rip but. i need to let it out somewhere

[indigodawns]

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#ahem not to only come on here to share negative thoughts etc rip but. i need to let it out somewhere? #anyways that's the negativity cw #i just. when you text a friend directly it's like they HAVE to respond u know? and no one is doing good rn and it fucking sucks #anyways it's sunny and nice out and everything but apparently the novelty of that has already worn off again and i just feel Bad #bc there's no point??? they called me back abt a job i applied for but i saw on the website they want you for at least a year and i don't #want to commit to that when it's not something i want to grow in + when i might wanna go back to uni in sept yknow? #but for more side-job-y jobs they don't want 1) 23 yo's and 2) anyone bc everyone is applying for those rn #anyways 2.0 . i promised to skype call with the guy that asked my number once 5 years ago? fdjhdfjh if anyone remembers that my respect #that was when i was studying psychology and idk we went on one date and it was alright and suddenly he messaged me again #on facebook dfjhfjh and i mean why not but i AM anxious + it always feels different with men for some reason?? #idk i feel like part of me is like why would you date a man when women exist? which is not the thing of uuugh men suck #just that i've always connected much more strongly with women i think? and i don't know if i could ever get to that level of #connection and understanding with a man #anywaysssssss just a chat it'll be fine #the other thing is how i WANT to work out and do some stuff to just take care of my body but i can't make myself lately at all #bc of prev mentioned Pointlessness #i imagine we're all feeling that bc this has been going on for too long and we expected the vaccine would speed things up for the better #and it doesn't even seem like it is #this is getting so long im sorry but also it's so nice to let it out #i should also change the way i am with twitter btw like it makes me anxious and feel as if im not doing it right (aka army twitter ofc) #and that just makes me feel more stupid and lonely even if it's rly nice to make new friends on there #a n y w a y s #im so so so tired idk what to do anymore im just sad and exhausted and i need more hobbies bc u can't rely on a hyperfixation and u shouldn' #but it's the only thing that doesn't take as much energy yknow? #ok that's all if you're still reading that's??? really touching and ily <3