#agreed with *certain* interpretations but i get why one would think certain things

[transmutationisms]

how do i know what’s right?

i feel like i have zero critical thinking skills ;-;

a lot of the time when someone poses an idea or a theory they think they’re right, and so they use language that enforces that. but then someone refutes it, and uses language affirming what they believe and i see the point in their argument. and then it gets refuted again and again and again and im just confused.

hi great question. i would love it if there were a single easy litmus test to figure out who's 'right' and whose info i should trust! unfortunately things are rarely this easy, and it's actually completely normal to be overwhelmed by the amount of information being produced and shared, especially when it comes to topics you haven't researched/lived/etc. for most of us, this will be most topics!

i'd preface this by saying that i think your overall attitude here is actually a good one. you're framing it in a pretty self-deprecating way—but actually, imo this type of openness to discussion and disagreement is a really good place to start, esp when dealing with topics that are new to you. nobody enters a contentious debate with a fully fledged, defensible viewpoint. you might feel like you're just treading water here, making no progress toward being able to evaluate arguments for yourself, but i highly doubt that's true.

all of that said: while i again cannot give you a single litmus test for figuring out what's 'right', there are four pretty basic sets of questions that i automatically run through when encountering a new idea, source, topic, or argument: we can call these origin, purpose, value, and limitations.

origin: who's the author? do they have any institutional affiliations? who pays their salary? is this argument or paper funded in any way? is the argument dependent upon the author's social position or status (race, class, etc) and if so, are those factors being discussed clearly? does the author have ties to a particular nation-state or stakes in defending such a nation-state? what's the class character of the author and the argument? what's the social, economic, and intellectual context that gave rise to this argument or source?

purpose: why is this source or person disseminating this information or making this argument? are they trying to sell you anything? are their funders? are they trying to persuade you of a particular political viewpoint? keeping in mind the answers to the 'origin' questions, are there particular ideological positions you would expect to find in this source or argument, and are they present? what are the stakes for the author or source? what about for those who cite the source or further disseminate or publish it?

value: what does this source or argument accomplish well? what aspects of the argument are new to you and strike you as insightful? are there linkages being made that you haven't encountered elsewhere, and that you think are effectively and sufficiently defended? are there statistics or empirical data that might be useful to you in forming your own argument, even if you disagree with how this source or author is interpreting them? what does this argument or source tell you about the types of debates being had, and the rules of those debates?

limitations: where does this argument or source fail you or fall apart? are there obvious rhetorical fallacies you can identify? is the author forgetting or overlooking some piece of information that you know of from elsewhere? which viewpoints may be omitted? keeping in mind the answers to the 'purpose' questions, if this source is defending a particular ideology or political position, is that one you agree with? is it only defensible so long as the author omits or distorts certain pieces of information? are there points where the argument jumps from evidence to a conclusion that the evidence can't fully support? are there alternative explanations for the evidence?

over time you will often find that it becomes more and more automatic to ask yourself these questions. you will also find that the more you read/hear about a particular topic, the faster you can determine whether someone is presenting all of the evidence, presenting it fairly, and using it to fully defend the argument they ultimately want to make. and you will probably also find that at some point, you're able to synthesise your own argument by pulling the strong parts from multiple other people's viewpoints, combining them with your own thinking, and fitting them together in a way that adequately explains and materially analyses the issue at hand.

#sry if this feels kind of abstract lol fight between specificity and applicability #lit and literacy

[queenofthearchipelago]

Hey! I just saw your post about some meta doing good but then misunderstanding the characters at some point. If you do not mind sharing, what are certain misconceptions that you usually see and don’t agree with?

Hi! I don't mind sharing but before I answer this I wanna say that I do love that this fandom has so many interpretations of Aziraphale and Crowley's actions and thoughts and motivations. I think some of those interpretations don't always line up with everything we see of them in the show and I feel that both of them have areas where they can be misunderstood. But if anyone reading this finds themselves disagreeing with me, that you do see some of what I'm about to say in their characters, I'm not trying to take your version of Crowley and Aziraphale away from you and like, ruin that fun by saying people are wrong, or something. Fandom becomes really stiff when the culture only has one idea of who the characters are.

That said, I'll start with Crowley because I've always found him most relatable, and so I think about his character more than Aziraphale's.

The first thing is Crowley's temper. I've read quite a few metas talking about how Crowley needs to better manage his anger because it shuts Aziraphale down and makes it harder for him to talk. I don't see this. I mean, yes, Crowley has a temper. Crowley has been shown to be angry. But I've not seen it shut Aziraphale down. When Aziraphale gets nervous around an angered Crowley, it's always because Crowley has said something blasphemous. Such as at the bandstand when Crowley is cursing the Great Plan. Aziraphale becomes scared FOR Crowley and Crowley is never angry AT Aziraphale. I can't think of a scene off the top of my head where anything Crowley does makes Aziraphale feel like he can't say something he clearly wants to say.

But also, I feel that this take of Crowley's character, that he struggles with his temper around Aziraphale, somehow erases how gentle he really is with Aziraphale. He's always so patient with him, even when it would make sense for him to be off the rails angry. And also also, the two main times we see Crowley lose his temper around Aziraphale (the bandstand and then the fight in episode 1 of this season) are both times of great desperation. The world was ENDING. He was SCARED (He's really good at hiding how scared he is). And then Gabriel shows up and Crowley doesn't know how but he feels this will disrupt every single good thing in his life. And so he explodes in the street, something we don't have reason to think Aziraphale saw. Crowley literally left to go cool down. I think he did his best.

I also see a lot of metas speak to Crowley's apparent lack of self-worth. I've spoken about this before, I think Crowley is very confident in who he is. I think he knows himself better than Aziraphale knows himself. Crowley has ALWAYS known who he is, his arc is not one of self-discovery. It's actually Crowley's dedication to being himself despite what Hell would have him be that causes him conflict and intrigues Aziraphale so much.

That also leads into this idea that Crowley can't see himself clearly and therefore can't accept Aziraphale's love. As if he can't comprehend why Aziraphale might love him. But, we literally watch as Crowley graciously accepts every advance that Aziraphale makes. Crowley is the one who "goes too fast" and he probably has a lot of joy every time Aziraphale makes another step forward. It's Aziraphale who said, "Let's go out for lunch" the first time. It's Aziraphale who invited a demon into the bookshop meant to be an embassy for Heaven. It's Aziraphale who said "our car", and then Crowley gave him the keys. Crowley even blatantly says, "We've spent our entire existence pretending that we're not." This implies that he KNOWS. He knows Aziraphale has been pretending too, for 6,000 years, and before that too. Crowley knows he's loved, the problem was that he wasn't allowed to be loved by an angel, and neither of them ever got to say it out loud.

And then there are other, smaller things I see in metas that I don't generally agree with (though I completely understand how people got there). Which is this idea that Crowley feels rejected by Aziraphale. I mean, yes, but also no. I don't think Crowley got in the car at the end and drove away thinking that Aziraphale loves Heaven more than him. I think he's more angry that every single time Aziraphale falls to Earth, Heaven tugs on this rope around his waist and pulls him back up. I think Crowley understands Aziraphale's dilemma a lot better than we think he does.

And also, more recently I've seen some speculation about how Crowley wanting to run away is somehow a character flaw? Like, I agree with the point that both of them were wrong. Fixing Heaven won't work, so Crowley was right. But also, running away isn't a long term solution for them because they both love Earth too much. But I don't exactly see this as a character flaw? In season 1 when he mentions running away, let me remind you that THE WORLD WAS ENDING. He was desperate and he was scared. And in season 2, it wasn't so much a plea to literally run away into the stars and escape as it was an immortal being saying, "Look, Gabriel and Beelzelbub did it. Wherever they are, they're together, and they're dedicated to being happy together. Can we do that? Can we do that forever? In this bookshop or in the stars (in a cottage in the south downs?) Because I love you and I don't wanna think about belonging to anyone else anymore. WE don't need to belong to anyone else anymore. What do you say?"

And as for Aziraphale, I've said before that I don't think he wants Crowley to be an angel so that he can love him more. Aziraphale loves him as he is. And I think there are more articulate posts out there outlining why. The ask for Crowley to be an angel again has nothing to do with Crowley himself except that Aziraphale thinks Crowley would be safer that way. Aziraphale can fix Heaven FOR Crowley. Crowley's fall was wrong and he can now right that wrong. This happened, tragically, because Aziraphale loves him exactly as he is. And as much as Crowley's heart is broken right now, I don't think he doesn't know that. He knows the love he's had from Aziraphale these millennia was real. He knows it.

This became an essay, maybe one day I'll figure out how to get my points across quickly lol. But yeah, these are just my thoughts about who I understand these characters to be in canon. And I know that even though it's been nearly a month since the season dropped, people are still working through all the details that led up to our favorite angel stepping into an elevator and the demon who loves him more than life driving away alone in silence. I'm honestly still working through it too, there's still so much to think about.

#thanks for the ask! #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens meta #crowley analysis #aziraphale analysis #thoughtsfromthequeen #asks

[yesimwriting]

Final Girl (Part 10)

 Final Girl Masterlist  (updated chapters 1-10 and extras, asks/extras involving the final girl fic verse are under the tag ‘final girl fic’)

A/n i’m leaning towards starting to write shorter chapters in order to be able to update a little faster but idk

Series Summary:  Y/n can’t believe that she has to leave the only home she’s ever known just because her mom’s latest boyfriend has a house in some town in California. Just as she’s starting to think that Woodsboro might not be that bad, something life altering happens after she agrees to sleep over at  Becker’s house. Now her name is practically synonymous with Ghostface’s.

Chapter Summary: The aftermath of learning that a certain redheaded journalist is making you a focal point of her true crime novel. 

----

In the least cynical way possible, sometimes I think a part of my mom craves conflict. Not in a narcissistic or violent way, just in a protective one. 

She doesn’t pick fights for the sake of having them, she doesn’t tear into things for the rush of adrenaline or to feed some complex. My mom likes standing up for people in a way that would be annoyingly self righteous if it was any less genuine. Any incident that could be interpreted as blood in the water has her diving in head first, ready to ward off any potential sharks. 

That’s why nothing about this rampage is surprising. She’s been pacing the length of the kitchen without giving the phone in her hand a break, typing out numbers at an unbelievable speed, only occasionally pausing to flip through the phone book on the counter. 

“Well then put me through,” she stalls long enough to put a hand on her hip, “Not to an assistant, not to the station, or the publishing company. Get Gale Weathers on the phone. Now.” 

This is the third time she’s pulled this stunt since I walked into the kitchen to grab a pity snack. The way she presses her lips together tells me that this time hasn’t been any more successful. “She’s too busy? Well, I hope she’s not too busy for a law su--” Something cuts her off. My mom blinks. “Hello?” 

“I told you that threatening to sue people wouldn’t work over the phone.” 

She pulls the phone away from her ear with a sigh. “It’s not a threat if I mean it.” The phone is placed on the counter as she turns her attention to the phone book. “That woman can’t do this. You, and your legal guardian, never consented to your likeness or story being used.” 

Unfortunately, that’s not completely true. Or, at the very least, it’s not that concrete or straight forward. When something’s news, information becomes a lot less easy to claim as personal or yours. Especially if personal information is kept vague enough. The second I was attacked by Ghostface and the news reported it, a lot of me in that context became a lot less legally sound. I’d have to prove it defamed me or hurt my life, which can’t be done before the book comes out. 

“We can’t prove that until the book is out.” 

She sighs, “There has to be something.” My mom taps her manicured nails against the granite counter top. 

My stomach twists with helplessness as the most urgent issue rushes to the front of my mind. It’s more than just someone taking advantage of my trauma or the fact that books are so much more permanent than any news headline ever could be. Books take time to come out, to circulate, which means that this tell all could reach its peak during my college app season. Princeton could see this. All colleges could see this. 

“Mom...” I can feel the tremor in my voice, but I can’t bring myself to stop it.

In a way, isn’t this best case scenario? Compared to what could have happened? Isn’t this such a small thing compared to what happened to Casey? I know this, but I can’t quite bring myself to feel it fully. Not when it comes to something I’ve worked for my entire life.

“What if--what if this gets in the way of Princeton?” 

She presses her lips together, watching me openly in a way that’s become familiar. “Oh, pumpkin,” she breathes, moving across the counter to pull me into a hug, “I’m sorry you’re going through this.” I squeeze her tightly. “And that I don’t know what to say or how to help.” She smooths my hair down gently. “But when it comes to school, all you can do is keep up your grades and when the time comes, write the best essay you can. And if they’re stupid enough to turn down your weirdly-good grades and insane resume, then screw Princeton.” 

Despite myself, I smile. Those soft digs at my type-A-ness aren’t lost on me and the sense of familiarity I get from them instantly make it easier. “Thanks.” 

“Yeah, and if you want, you could always write your own tell-all book that would outsell hers because yours is from the--” 

“Excuse me?” 

She lets go of me, taking a step back at my offense. “I’m not telling you to write it, I’m just saying a published book would look good on an Ivy-league application.” 

Sometimes I’m so crazy about school that I forget my mom is also capable of insanity. “Mom!” 

My mom lets out a sigh. “What? You’ve been obsessed with Princeton since your dad gave you his old college sweatshirt in the third grade, but now I’m crazy?” 

She’s half joking and I know she’d never actually push me to write something like that, but my stomach still turns. Yes, I have made a ton of jokes about having no morals when it comes to college apps, but it’s different now. Anything that has to do with that Ghostface stuff feels tainted. I don’t want success from him. I don’t want anything good from Casey’s death.

I pick up the spoon that’s sunken into my partially melted bowl of ice cream. “I am not exploiting this.”

She holds her hands up in defense, “It’d ruin Gale’s book, jump start your career in journalism.” My mom extends an arm, asking for my spoon. I sigh before handing it to her. She eats a healthy spoonful of ice cream. “Two birds, one stone.” 

I scoff, taking the spoon back and eating my own spoonful. "You’re sick.” 

My mom steps back form the counter. “Just a suggestion.” 

I’m about to assert my previous point when the doorbell rings. I raise an eyebrow at my mom, silently asking if I’m expecting anyone. I’m not so I just shrug, moving away from the counter and towards the door.

There’s a chance it could be Wells. He’s at work, but it wouldn’t be the first time he forgot his keys. I peak out the window and am instantly pleasantly surprised. I’m more excited than I can justify as I reach for the front door’s lock. 

The door creaks open and I fight down a grin. I don’t know why they’re here, but I don’t mind the unexpected visit. I had been planning on moping and rotting in bed until school. 

“Hey,” I mumble, latching onto my surprise. 

Stu flashes a warm smile in greeting, “Hey, sweetheart.” 

I wrinkle my nose at the nickname despite its tameness. My mom’s way too close for that. I’m torn between making a joke about it and avoiding drawing attention to my concern and giving Stu a reason to push. I settle on looking over at Billy. He’s standing in a way that feels a little stiff. 

There’s a chance they called first, since they usually do when they come over through the front door instead of just showing up at my window. “If you called, my mom’s sort of taken over our phone line.” They both already know about Gale’s book and the fact that she’s editing it to include me, since they were both there when I found out. That still doesn’t make it easy to talk about, “She’s hunting down Gale Weathers.”

"Then I’m scared for Gale Weathers.” Stu raises his eyebrows, exaggerating concern.

Billy nods once, “She deserves it.” 

That’s true. I wasn’t exactly kind to her during our brief meeting, but she ambushed me at school after I was attacked. But that can’t be enough to justify what she’s doing now, especially without so much as a ‘heads up, you’re in my book’ phone call. If you’re going to potentially ruin someone’s future because they happened to have survived a serial killer, it wouldn’t kill you to call first. 

“Anything...else up?” Stu’s question surprises me. Maybe I didn’t react fast enough or I still look as worried about all of this as I feel. 

I don’t want to get into the details of my concern. I freaked out in front of them enough after I saw Gale’s announcement on TV, but there’s no way I can get away with acting like I’m perfectly okay with it all now. I guess I’ll go with deflecting, “Just my mom being a total college obsessed psycho.”

The corner of Billy’s mouth tilts upwards, almost a smile. “You had to get it from somewhere.” 

I glare at him in a way that I really hope is cutting. “Shut up. I’m not psycho.” 

“I’ve seen the Princeton poster in your roo--” I shake my head sharply, extending an arm to softly punch Stu’s arm. 

He stops, more out of surprise than decency. I drop my voice to a low whisper in order to explain, “My mom’s not that distracted, and she doesn’t know you’ve ever been in my room.” Stu grins at my seriousness. “And she can never find out.” 

This only makes him grin more openly, “Keeping secrets for me?” 

“I’m not above kicking you guys out.” 

Billy sighs, a defensive huff. “I didn’t do anything.” 

A slightly too aggressive you brought him here almost slips out, but I manage to stop it. Maybe if I was in a more joking, lighthearted mood I’d let myself make that kind of aggressive joke, but I’m moody and there’s a good chance my irritation will slip into that. it’ll taint the comment and make it something a lot more serious than it’s supposed to be. 

“Yet,” I settle on, trying to feel as easy as the comment.

He frowns, eyebrows pulling together like he just watched me kick a puppy. After a second, Billy parts his lips, but he doesn’t get to say anything back. 

“Who’s at the door?” My mom’s voice carries from the hall and to the entryway, a moment later she appears. I turn my head in time to see her polite smile, a little irate thanks to how the last day and a half have been. “Oh, hi, Billy, Stu.’’ Her greeting is flatter than usual as she barely takes a second to look up from the phone. “Come in, come in.” 

I step back to create space for them to come in. Despite my mom’s instinctual fall back to politeness, she barely notices the difference as she hits redial before pressing the phone to her ear. “Do you guys want anything to drink or...are you hungry or...going...” She trails off, attention visibly shifting as she waves us off, “Hello, can I--look, that’s great, Jocelyn, but I need to get in touch with your supervisor?” 

With one last force-of-habit smile, she turns away from the entryway and walks out. I walk towards the front door, instinctually shutting and locking it. “That’s basically my life now.” 

“Poor thing,” Stu’s voice is thick with false sympathy, “Your mommy’s fixing everything for--” 

“Shut up.” The reply comes out too quickly, too serious.

Stu blinks once, clearly not expecting the hint of actual tension and hostility that managed to press itself into the two words. “Someone’s moody.” 

I squeeze my eyes shut for a long second. “Sorry, I didn’t--” Sighing, I try to force the stiffness out of my body. “This book thing’s starting to get to me. I know that’s not an excuse, I just--” I don’t know how to explain the knot in my throat or the nerves in my stomach. 

The thought of this one thing I was delusional enough to think that I might be able to one day put behind me being everywhere is starting to claw at my insides. That helplessness is being amplified by a strange form of guilt, because I’m the one that’s still alive, so why should I get to complain? 

“Hey,” Stu interrupts my derailing train of thought. He places a hand on my shoulder, “No hard feelings, okay?” 

I nod, irritated at myself for the tears I feel burning in my eyes. “Okay.”

“You wanna get out of here?” Billy’s question is so low I almost convince myself I made it up. But then he lets out a breath and tacts on something else, “...Or we could go upstairs or watch a movie or whatever?”

The offer is so gentle I nearly melt. “Did you guys want to do something?”

They did come here, probably for a reason. Not that they never come over just to hang out, but they usually have some kind of plan or suggestion, like going over to Stu’s or driving around or watching a specific movie. 

“Just wanted to see how you were doing.” Billy’s reply comes out slowly, his eyes not fully focused on me. “We called and you didn’t answer, and after the news thing...”

That’s fair. I did leave Stu’s house pretty fast after the Gale Weathers thing and haven’t talked to anyone outside of my house for over 24 hours. Usually people worrying about how I’m handling things makes me feel uncomfortably hollow, but this doesn’t make any of that come up. Maybe it’s because they’re not making it feel like pity. 

“Uh...” There’s honestly not much that seems fun right now. A part of me still wants to crawl under my covers and pretend that nothing else exists, but they’ve pulled me out worse moods before. “I can show you guys that album I was talking about?” The offer feels weak, a little hollow. Stu squeezes my shoulder before relaxing his arm. “The CD’s in my room.” I shrug, looking between the two of them, “Or we could do whatever.” 

“You’ve been talking about that CD for a long time for someone who always forgets to bring it.” Stu’s not even trying to hide his accusation as he starts walking down the hallway.

I cross my arms, giving Billy a look that asks if he can believe all I have to deal with. “Yeah, I’m just worried your top 20 pallet is too complex for our tastes to ever overlap.” 

Stu scoffs, “Yeah, I’m the one that’s into top 20.” 

“Out of the three of us?” Billy’s question rivals Stu’s blatant sarcasm. 

I fight down a smile as Stu turns his head enough to glare. The display of irritation is short lived, because Stu has to turn back around to avoid tripping on the first stair step. He nearly misses, but recovers so quickly I wouldn’t have noticed the misstep if I hadn’t been looking at him. Sometimes his stability surprises me, because Stu’s energetic and lanky enough to warrant being a little clumsy, but he’s a lot better at not tripping than me. 

We walk up the stairs, the only sound filling the space is my mom’s voice, too far for any specifics to be made out. 

“I think I miss your mom not trusting us.” Stu lets out a wistful sigh.

Rolling my eyes, I push open the door to my room. “Don’t worry, she’s just distracted.” 

Even though my mom’s phone tirade is definitely helping her be so easy, I know what he’s talking about. When Billy and Stu first started hanging around, my mom felt the need to hover a lot more. She’d check up on us a lot more than she would when I was alone with Sidney or Tatum. My mom would also make a lot of jokes and comments in order to pry as (not so) subtly as possible. Slowly, she became more accustomed (or maybe desensitized), to them and now my mom acts a lot more normal in front of them. When they leave, she normally still pushes a little, usually through humor, but it’s a lot more tolerable now.

Stu walks into my room before I can, walking towards my bed. “We’re growing on her.”

I sit down next to him. “Or she finally gets that you two barely register as guys to me.” 

Stu moves, intentionally bumping his knee into mine, hard enough to make my knee move. Once he has my attention, he flexes an arm. “I’m all man, angel.”

There’s an exaggerated quality to his reaction that I can’t tell if I’m meant to take seriously or not. It’s the uncertainty that makes me let out a slight laugh. “I didn’t mean it like that.” 

He turns his head, leaning back slightly as he presses his palms into my comforter. “Then how’d you mean it?” 

My face feels a little warmer than before and I can’t figure out what that’s about. I’m used to Stu pressing after comments like this. Sometimes his humor focuses on making someone feel uncomfortable. Retreating or acting awkward gives him a reason to keep pushing. But I have no good way to answer. 

I wipe my hands on the fabric of my jeans. “Don’t start.” 

“Maybe I don’t get it.” 

I stand, throwing him a dirty look as I move towards my CD player. “Maybe you’re full of shit.” 

He huffs, “Mean.”

My fingers skim the row of CDs on my desk before finding the one I’m looking for. I use my nail to pop open the case. “Yeah, I’m a real bully.” Billy, who’s been lingering near my desk, opens my CD player before I can. I set the disk in place. “Can you believe him?” 

Billy shakes his head once, a few strands of hair falling out of place with the motion. He picks up the CD case and starts studying the back of it. “I can’t believe you can’t.” 

Stu lets out a distracted sound of protest. I wouldn’t be surprised if I turned around and found him fidgeting with something. My room’s not a total disaster, but I’ve been too busy moping to fully clean it, so there are a lot of contenders for things Stu could be messing with. I can’t think of anything that’s within his reach that’s embarrassing or important, so I let it go. Billy seems a little tense and considering the headspace he was in the last time I saw him, figuring that out is important. 

“Fair,” I hum, shutting the CD player, “You uh--” His eyes flit upwards, away from the CD case. The look is kind of stiff, but not annoyed or wary. It makes me realize that I don’t really have a good way to finish my sentence. Asking if someone’s okay never feels natural. Especially when he’s only been here for a few. “You okay?” I force myself to focus on the CD player, messing with the volume instead fo just hitting play. “You seem a little tense.” 

He sets the plastic case down. “I’m okay.” Billy straightens, shifting his weight off of my desk. The movement is small, he hasn’t even taken a full step, but the change makes him feel a lot closer. “Just can’t believe she can do that.” His tone takes on such a hard edge it takes me a second to realize what he’s talking about. Is the book thing really bothering him that much? “To you, to--does she think she’s untouchable? That guy’s still out there, what makes her think he won’t find her and rip that bitch’s--”

Billy cuts himself off with no warning, eyes focusing on me. I blink. Billy might come off as intense and reserved before you know him, but he’s never seemed explosive or prone to emotional impulsivity like that. Even when I briefly thought he could have been the killer, he never came off as aggressive. He never even held the fact that I put his life in danger and accused him of being a serial killer against me. 

This tension is new and it came from feeling defensive over me. The realization that it has something to do over me makes me more antsy than Billy’s actual words. 

“Woah,” Stu says through a dry laugh. “Relax, dude, there’s no need to write the next news story for her.” Stu swings an arm over my shoulder. I’m still stuck on what just happened, so it takes me a millisecond too long to weakly attempt to get Stu off of me. He pinches my shoulder, the nail of his thumb digging into my skin just enough for it to register as stinging. “You’re in poor Billy’s head.” I can’t tell if Stu’s teasing is meant to be sympathetic towards Billy or accusatory towards me. “Give the boy a break.” 

My chin briefly tilts downwards, a compulsory movement that seems to genuinely want to listen to what’s clearly a joking command. “I’ll try.” 

Stu relaxes his hold on me, dragging his thumb up and down the exposed skin of my shoulder, soothing the skin he accidentally irritated. I extend my arm, turning on the music absentmindedly. The room doesn’t exactly feel tense, but I feel a lot smaller than I did a few seconds ago. I don’t know if it’s because of the dip into a gory, too real topic or Stu’s comment or if I’m still just irritable.

“Guess it’s not your fault,” Stu hums, squeezing my shoulder once, “You can’t help being lovable.”

I try to keep myself focused as I adjust the volume of the first song. “That’s true.” He lets go of me and I stand a little straighter. “We all have our faults.” 

Billy lets out a breath that’s suspiciously close to a laugh. “Yeah, your only flaw’s that you’re too perfect.” 

“You were the one ready to support a murder for her,” Stu defends bluntly, “Not saying that Gale Weathers doesn’t deserve what she gets.” 

In all honesty, I had been so distracted by the way the book would affect me and my chances to get past the Ghostface thing that I didn’t even think about the actual killer. This could get him to hurt someone else. Gale Weathers could be making herself a target, but I find the thought unlikely. The more I reflect on why he left me alive the more I think that it might have been because there’s more of a story when there’s a survivor. He joked with me about the final girl thing. He also called me once without attacking anyone. The asshole probably gets off on attention. 

Gale Weathers is probably the safest person in this town. The more she talks, the more attention he gets. It probably also helps his ego because he knows everyone’s after him and he hasn’t been caught. It’ll probably get him to hurt someone...just not her. Not that I hope Gale gets stabbed, it just makes her choices that much more selfish. 

I scratch the back of my wrist, staring at my open palm. The tiny white line, the scar carved into the skin of my hand seems bigger right now. “I don’t--it’s not like I want Gale to get hurt.” 

“No one’s saying you do,” Billy says, voice patient. 

I sigh, a part of me wishing this hadn’t come up. This was the last thing I wanted to think about, that’s why I’ve been ignoring calls and just focusing on homework. I walk away from my desk and sit down on my bed before slumping back semi-dramatically. If this is how Billy and Stu are acting, everyone at school is definitely going to start treating me weirdly again. Maybe Gale will be there, trying to chase me down for a quote. 

Ugh...maybe I can get my mom to bully the principle into letting me homeschool for a few days. A week maximum. Or maybe she’ll let me pretend to have mono or something. I have most of my textbooks here and I could get assignments from-- 

My bed dips, cutting off my train of thought. I turn my head enough to see Billy. “I--” His voice comes out so low I’m surprised I even heard him over the music. “I didn’t want to bring all of that up for you.”

There’s a softness there that makes it easier to genuinely shake my head dismissively. “It’s okay.” 

His eyes briefly meet mine. “I also didn’t uh--didn’t want to freak you out or--” 

“You didn’t.” That’s true, at least in the way he meant it. That level of anger over something that only really affects me did surprise me, but it’s not like he scared me. He hesitantly focuses his attention on me. I prop my head up on one elbow, watching him carefully. “You’re not as scary as you think you are.” 

Billy tilts his head, his lips tugging into an uncertain smile. “Oh, yeah?” 

He’s probing, likely trying to trick me into a compliment. “You’re losing your edge.” I keep my voice as nonchalant as possible as I drop my elbow and lay down again. “I think it’s all the time around me.” 

His eyebrows draw together like he’s seriously considering my hypothesis. “Valid theory.” The bed moves with no warning, the space to my left indenting. Billy lays down next to me without moving to make sure there’s enough space between me and the headboard. His arm presses into mine. “All the time in here can’t be helping either.” 

Billy does come over to my room a lot, usually crashing here when he needs to avoid his dad and doesn’t want to talk about it. Recently, though, he hasn’t been around as much. I didn’t think too much of it until I went over to Stu’s and saw that Billy wasn’t up for much of anything. “It’s the exposure to all the fluffy pillows.” 

“Probably.” Something warm brushes against the back of my wrist. Billy carefully traces an invisible line up my forearm. “This song’s nice.” 

The warmth of validation tugs at my chest. “It’s my favorite one on here.” He follows the same trail back down the inside of my forearm. “I think you’ll like the uh--” There had been a specific one on the track list that reminded me of a few songs he had shown me before. I list the titles in my head until I remember the right one, “Fourth track.” 

“Hm,” he hums in a way that doesn’t feel dismissive, just relaxed.

The bed shifts again. I crane my neck back, eyes straining to see behind me. After a second, I make out Stu circling my nightstand. “This is new.” He’s picking something up. Stu sits back down, making it easier to see what’s caught his attention. 

Oh. Not new, but I don’t blame him for not having my bookshelf memorized. “Not new.” He turns the book onto its side, studying the worn spine as if to confirm what I’m saying. “Just haven’t read it in a minute, thought it might cheer up.” 

There have been few problems that American Psycho and Patrick Bateman haven’t been able to at least help. It didn’t make me feel a lot better, but it was nice to distract myself from a real life murderer with the fictitious kind. 

Stu pauses, skimming the back of the book. “A little dark for a pick me up.” 

“It’s well written.” 

That’s true, and its commentary on social values and the rise of well off, stockbroker success and the culture that’s developed because of it is interesting and a creative analysis of society’s values. It also helps that despite being written with only a few redeeming qualities and being the literal villain (and weirdly misogynistic), I might have the smallest bit of a thing for Patrick Bateman. Not that I’d ever go for anyone like that in real life, but my fascination with his character is definitely a guilty pleasure. A guilty pleasure they really don’t need to know about.

He thumbs through the pages, attention focused like he’s actually reading it all that fast. Stu nods once, setting the book down at the edge of my bed before picking up a sweatshirt I almost forgot was still on my bed. He takes a second to feel the fabric of the sleeve before loosely folding it. Stu leaves it next to my book before laying down. 

We’re all lying horizontally now, but Stu’s backwards, his head closer to my torso and legs than anything else. The position makes it easy for me to secretly move my hand and softly flick his shoulder. Stu snaps his head in my direction, expression so shocked and slightly horrified I might as well have slapped him. 

It’d probably be smart to backtrack, but I’m clearly in no mood to make intelligent decisions, so I let myself laugh. The sound is a quick, too-smug giggle. Stu’s eyebrows pull together at the sound, the look concerning in its seriousness. I move to pull my hand back, but my reaction is too late. Stu throws his hand forward, grasping onto my wrist. I yank back once, had enough to be considered serious. Stu squeezes tighter, pulling my arm forward with an ease that embarrasses me.

“Stu!” A partial squeak, a partial laugh. 

He squeezes my arm to his chest, forcing my body to lean forward. I squirm, attempting to slip out of his grasp. I come close to escaping when I twist my arm back and turn my wrist without warning him, but Stu recovers. Growing desperate, I use my free hand to shove his shoulder. That backfires, too, encouraging him to use his other hand to keep me trapped.

The play fight escalates, both of us trying to win without getting up or seeming too invested. My wrist makes a cracking sound as I finally slip out of his hold. He’s quick to throw his arm forward and grab me again. Before I can even think to react, Stu tugs my hand upwards and briefly nips the side of my hand. 

I gasp so dramatically one might think he tried to gnaw off my entire hand. “Did you just bite me?”  Stu laughs, finally letting me take my arm back. I take a second to examine my hand, even though his teeth barely touched me. After deciding that my unmarked skin will one day recover, I prop myself up on my forearm and look over at Billy. “He fucking bit me.” 

Billy turns his head, unbothered by our conflict. “You started it.” There’s an underlying smugness that makes me want to shove him. I frown openly, not caring if I get accused of pouting. He sighs, holding up a hand. “Fine. Let’s see the damage.” 

“I didn’t even touch her.” 

I roll my eyes at Stu’s defense. Did it hurt? No, but it was deeply offensive. “You’re lucky I don’t bite you.” 

Stu lets out a breath, “Sweetheart, you can bi--” 

“Do not.” I keep my voice stern as I look at Billy’s waiting hand. He asked to see the damage, but there really isn’t any. The skin beneath my thumb wasn’t even grossly damp. It was more about my shock. But I still listen, setting my hand on his. 

Billy pulls on my hand gently, studying my skin intently. He even takes a second to bend my fingers and stretch them back out. “Think you’ll live.” 

I nod, letting Billy take his time still examining my hand. “Optimistic prognosis.” 

He shrugs slightly, his shoulder bumping into mine. “Only if you’ve had all your shots.”

Stu’s scoff and offended, “Fuck off,” are nearly drowned out by my laughter. Billy sets my hand down between us carefully. My giggling fit is drawn out by the rush of fondness in my chest. These two really are so much weirder than people realize and I wouldn’t change it for anything. Wow. They really are my best friends, and maybe arguably the most important people in my life. 

Feeling this close to anyone usually makes me want to be flighty. I’m not used to it when it comes to people I haven’t known my entire life, and there’s an inherent nervousness when it comes to growing attached to people you don’t completely know. It is kind of weird to feel this close to them and I haven’t even seen Billy’s room yet, so it makes sense that sometimes it feels different than what I’m used to. 

“What are you thinking about?” The question takes me by surprise, breaking the easy silence that’s been carried by the soft music. 

I blink at Billy’s words, a small part of me reacting like I’ve been caught doing something embarrassing. “Uh...nothing.” Fairly true. It’s not like my train of thought was focused or made much sense. Still, though, I should probably give him something more so he doesn’t assume that I’m trying to hide a mental break down. “...That you’re one of my best friends and I’ve never been to your house before.” 

Stu lightly squeezes my forearm. “You’re not missing much.” 

“You bit me,” I mumble, “What do you know?” 

He relaxes his hold on me in order to run his knuckles up and down my arm. “It was a love bite.” 

“Like a feral cat.”

Stu scoffs. “This is why Billy doesn’t want you at his place.” 

Wow. Rude. I part my lips, ready to insult him. “Okay,” Billy interjects, “Don’t start again.” A part of me’s offended by the defense. I should be able to fight Stu over this. “You guys are kids.”

I glare, “Rude.” 

“Fine, let him bite you again.” My nose wrinkles, but before I can say anything, Billy continues, “And he’s not wrong, you’re not missing much.” 

He’s probably right, I’ve just been thinking about it a little more than usual. “Until I see it, I’m going to think that your bedsheets are bright pink.”

“Actually, they’re bright purple.” 

The sarcasm comes out so quickly, so casually, I almost think he means it. “Nice try, but I’m still assuming neon pink.” 

He sighs, “It’s neon now?” The question’s mumbled, and before I can say anything back, Billy sits up. 

Stu turns onto his side, eyebrows drawn together in order to silently ask what’s up with Billy. “What are you doing?” 

“If she’s going to make up things about my room until she sees it...” He walks away from my bed, stopping close to my door. “We should get it over with.” 

Oh my god?? I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I also wasn’t prepared for the wave of excitement buzzing in my chest. I sit up too quickly, too telling. “Really?” 

It’s a casual thing that I really don’t want to make weird, but I wasn’t angling to get him to take us over there. And the thought is nice, they’re my best friends and a bedroom gives insight into a person. It’s also the perfect distraction after everything that’s happened today. 

“Yeah? Really?” 

Billy shrugs, already reaching my door. “It’ll be better than whatever she makes up about it.” 

A good point, because I was already thinking about ways to work in an assumption about him having zebra print lampshades and posters pulled from pre-teen magazines. “Am I getting that predictable?” 

He raises his eyebrows and Stu tries to conceal a laugh. I roll my eyes as Billy returns the question, “Getting?” 

“Haha.” Why do I hang out with them? I take back all the warm, fuzzy thoughts about them. 

I push myself to my feet, looking for my shoes. Stu sits up, waiting for me to find my sneakers. Because I was planning on hiding in my room until school, I almost didn’t change out of pajamas and now I’m glad I changed into some leggings and a comfortable shirt this morning.

My shoes were hiding underneath a pillow. I free them and sit on the edge of my bed to pull them on. Stu taps my knee, getting me to turn. “What?” 

He pats his lap once, implying something I don’t get. When I don’t react quickly enough, Stu sighs and bends forward. He pulls on my laces. “I can--” It’s too late, he’s already looped them once and is working on doing it again. “Double knotted?” 

Stu squeezes my ankle after tying my last shoe. “You trip too much for me not to.” 

I scoff, “You were almost nice.” 

“I’m always nice to you, angel.”

rolling my eyes, I move to stand after Stu straightens. 

“Grab a jacket,” Billy mumbles, “It’s cold.”

If my mom could see this, she’d never make another joke about him again. Actually, she’d probably say he’s one of my only friends with good sense. “Nerd.” 

He gives me a more-than-slightly-annoyed look as I reach for the jacket hanging on my desk chair. I make a point of holding up the jacket before folding the fabric over my arm. 

----

It’s a lot harder to not look like a little kid on a field trip than one would think. Maybe it’s the jacket that’s gone from neatly folded over my arm to a wadded up lump pressed snugly into my chest, held in place by my crossed together arm. The spring in my step could be part of the problem, a slight bounce that has to be a result of the touch of fall chilliness in the air and has absolutely nothing to do with internal excitement. That’d be way too dramatic. 

Billy unlocks the door and pulls it open. Stu walks in first, I follow. We walk down a short entryway that leads to a main living area. The living area is put together, radiating a neatness that almost feels clinical. Maybe that’s an exaggerated way of taking in the precisely angled arm chairs and the glass figurine that’s sitting on the coffee table, but I can’t help the thought. It has to be a byproduct of the ‘organized chaos’ my mom raised me on, a stack of magazines in the living room that never seem to fully straighten and unmatched pillows that get paired together to tell a story. 

The space is nice, though, some underlying factor I can’t pinpoint making it still feel a little homey. It’s almost like the room’s covered by an invisible cloak that makes it clear that people live here, that this isn’t some open house. I take my time looking around the room, trying to find a source for this feeling. 

There are a few framed photos, but none of them revolving around family enough to offer a homey feel, just pictures of a little boy growing up. The fuzzy one of the boy at maybe the age of six stands out on the coffee table, his smile reveals a missing tooth in a way that makes it a personal favorite. For a second, I think the subtle lived in atmosphere could be coming from the few knick knacks on the coffee table and book shelf, but quickly rule that out. Sure, they’re objectively nice decorations but they don’t fit together in that way. There’s no way a dad didn’t pick them out. 

I guess the feeling comes from the details. The most comfortable looking arm chair is the one closest to the bookshelf even though that corner of the room is almost a little too cramped for the two to sit next to each other. The rug matches the walls and the couch in a way that makes the cream colored pillows seem sad and out of place. 

“Is it everything you thought it’d be?” 

Stu’s voice snaps me out of my train of thought. I nod once, stepping towards the coffee table. My hand reaches forward, picking up the picture of the kid with the missing tooth. “Oh, most definitely.” 

Billy sighs at the same time Stu lets out a quick, easy laugh. “That’s a good one.” 

“Put it down,” Billy mumbles halfheartedly, but it’s too late. Stu’s at my side, taking the smooth frame. He holds it up and then down, squinting like he’s studying a complex work of art. “This was a mistake.” 

I grin, “Once again, most definitely.” 

“You used to be a real softie.” Stu delivers the comment in a way that feels almost factual. I bite down a joke about how used to feels like an exaggeration as Stu sets down the frame. 

Billy frowns a little too pointedly. “Yeah, I was the one that was sensitive.” 

I turn my head towards Stu, who’s stiffer than he was too seconds ago. There’s definitely a story there. “What’s that about?”

“Don’t listen to him, sweetheart,” Stu pouts, lazily extending an arm in my direction. “He’s always been jealous of me.” 

Mhm. I roll my eyes, sighing as I reluctantly step forward and meet him halfway. Stu squeezes my shoulder. The gesture is gentle enough, but I still halfheartedly try to push him off. “Yeah, jealous sounds like the right word.” 

He huffs. “Don’t be mean.” 

I force my thumb downwards. My nail pinches at my skin a little but it works, I get in between the fabric of my shirt and Stu’s palm. He curves his hand to give me the space I need. “I’m never mean.” He tries to squeeze my thumb down flat. “Seriously, though,” I turn my head enough to look at Billy, “Story?” 

Billy tilts his head just enough for me to notice and his eyebrows pull together. The feeling that he’s silently trying to tell me something I can’t interpret tugs at me briefly. He straightens his stance before I can read too much into the look. “Imagine that with the impulse control of a seven-year-old, that’s the story.” 

Stu being a former terror is a topic that’s been touched on before. Usually, the issue with befriending people that have known each other their entire lives is that you’ll never have the childhood experiences together. You’ll never know whose parents hosted the sleepovers or who had constantly scraped knees or who went through an embarrassing obsession with some child targeted franchise. 

It’s a fair thing thing to be intimidated by. And normally, it’d sting from time to time, but with them it rarely does. I like hearing the stories, like the details that come up. 

Stu scoffs in complaint, fighting back with renewed interest as I come close to freeing my shoulder.

“He used to have a thing for bugs,” Billy offers after a second, “Didn’t like when people would mess with hives and-and food routes or whatever.” 

The hand on my shoulder nearly goes slack. I blink, twisting my neck to look at Stu, whose staring straight ahead. “Shut up.” The words come out uncharacteristically passive, and maybe even a little flat. 

Picturing Stu as one of those insect fact kids wouldn’t come to me naturally, but it does kind of fit. Not the defending them, but the interest in something that gets people to react. 

“Really?”

Stu sighs, “Not really.” Again, a surprisingly flat defense. “I didn’t have a thing...just thought they were...” He lifts one shoulder in a shrug, “Cool.” 

“So cool you had to put a beetle in Valerie Thompson’s cubbie.” 

...And there it is. I laugh despite myself, imagining a second-grade Stu and some poor girl getting into some kind of argument and then later finding something crawling between her crayons and coloring sheets. Maybe it’s a good thing we met when we did. Little me could be a monster in her own way, a way that wouldn’t have fit theres.  “That poor girl.” 

“Valerie Thompson had it coming,” Stu says, “Y’know what she was like.” 

I don’t know if it’s weird that I assumed that Stu was talking to me or both of us instead of just talking to Billy. The comment was small, offhanded and focused on a topic only they know about. It’s fair for him to not be talking to me. Rationally, I get it. That doesn’t mean I like it, though. 

I’ve seen them interact in ways that make it feel like everyone else is invisible. They get each other like that. Anyone that’s around them long enough to see them relax has to get it. It’s the kind of understanding that makes people insecure about their own best-friendship. Not that it makes me feel like that. Most of the time. 

Something about it right now burns more than usual. My feelings aren’t hurt, I’m not upset because that wouldn’t be fair, but I’m not comfortable and breezy either. That just makes it worse, why does it feel different now?

Maybe my irritability is a result of multiple things. All I’ve had to today is a few spoonfuls of the ice cream that I mainly picked at so that my mom wouldn’t worry and I’ve had no water. The whole book thing has been stressful, too, and the pulsing ache of a migraine is starting to settle behind my right eye. 

It was nice of Billy to invite me over because I asked, but maybe it’s too early for me to be out again. Maybe what I need is the safe enclosure of my bedroom, dim lighting, and a nap. 

I try to shake off my discomfort by acting on instinct. The instinct of a feral toddler that isn’t getting enough attention. I twist my thumb, poking his hand with my nail. I’m not being mean about it, but I could have been gentler. Stu doesn’t react, which only adds to my annoyance.

My knuckles bend, giving me the space I need to get enough leverage to separate Stu’s hand from my arm. He lets me. 

“Guess he hasn’t changed that much since he bit you today.” 

The direct comment has me easing slightly. I get myself to smile. “Clearly.”

Billy takes a partial step forward, “You good?” 

I scratch the back of my arm, trying to ground myself in the present. Be normal. “Yeah...just tired.” Which is true enough. I wipe at my face, pinching the bridge of my nose in an attempt to control the dull pain. “And I feel like I’m getting a headache.” 

He nods, expression cloudy. “You want tylenol or water or...something.” 

Pull it together. I force my hands to my side as I shake my head once. “I’m okay, just spaced out for a second.” 

“You need to lay down?” Stu tilts his head, watching me like a part of him thinks I could faint.

My fingertips press into my side. “I’m good, it’s just a migraine.” This is what happens when someone decides to write a book about the most traumatic thing I’ve ever gone through. “Probably just stress.” They’re staring attentively. I can’t blame them for their concern. If I freaked out right now, this wouldn’t be my first meltdown. The fact that it’s warranted makes everything feel like too much. “Can we get back to analyzing Billy’s baby pictures? I think I saw one with a pool floaty on the bookshelf.”

“Baby pictures are low tier.” Stu briefly lifts a hand before dropping it dismissively, swiping at the air. “The real making fun of Billy’s in his room.”

“Really?”

"Yep. All the angst.” 

Intriguing. “All the angst and pink sheets, right?” 

“Neon.” 

Billy sighs once, reluctantly stepping forward. This is all out of his control now. “You two don’t need to be around each other.” 

He walks past the couch, approaching a hall that leads away from the living room. Stu turns his head the second Billy’s back is to us. “So jealous of us.” 

Despite myself, I smile, finally feeling a bit more at ease. “So.” 

We walk down the hall together. Billy’s fully ditched us, but Stu knows where we’re going. The hall is short, we pass one door before Stu stops us in front of one that’s partially open. He opens it fully with a gentle push and walks in without a second thought.

I’m still stepping into the room when the bed creaks loudly thanks to the sudden addition of Stu’s weight. He’s making himself just as at home as he does in my room, rolling onto his stomach to reach for a pillow to tuck beneath him. 

Billy sighs from his desk chair, moving his legs off the foot of the bed. “What did we say you were? Seven?” 

Stu cranes his neck, glaring at Billy before relaxing again. “And a half.” 

“Feels generous.” The joke comes out instinctually, but my attention’s already divided.

Billy’s room is made up of deep blue-grey walls, not quite dark but nowhere close to light either. All the furniture is made of dark wood that matches the hardwood of the floor. The room is decorated a little neater than one would expect for a teenage boy, a few posters that are sized too well to not have been picked out carefully. They’re movie themed, though nowhere near as openly gory or sexualized as the one’s in Stu’s. 

Everything’s also nicely organized. Like, even more organized than my room. No clothes on the floor or laundry sitting in a basket or on a chair in a pile that’s left to grow until it eventually topples over. What I can see of his desk is also put together, no assignments or unfinished books or projects cluttering the surface.

I walk towards the bed, siting down on the edge. The comforter is navy blue and a lot softer than I thought it’d be. His sheets are dark colored, neutral plaid. Not hot pink or an obnoxious shade of purple, unfortunately. I can’t bring myself to mind being wrong. The space is really Billy in a reserved sort of way. It fits him. 

“No pink sheets.” Billy’s voice snaps me out of my analysis. It’s a good thing, too, because I was probably seconds away from touching things on his bookshelf and messing with the lamp and being nosey about knick knacks. I’d feel worse about the desire to pry and investigate for entertainment’s sake if both of them weren’t constantly looking through my things. 

My hand brushes the edge of the sheet that’s folded over. “Disappointing.” I twist awkwardly to better look at him. Billy’s bouncing his leg, not looking at anything in particular. “But besides that, it’s nice and not as embarrassing as Stu said it’d be.” 

Billy’s eyebrows draw together, “As?” 

Stu props his head up on one elbow despite the fact that most of his arm sinks into a pillow. “Look through his underwear draw and then we’ll talk.” 

I laugh, surprising myself with how loud and genuine it is. The suddenness aggravates the background soreness of a headache. I ignore it. “You’ve looked through his underwear drawer?” 

“It--” Stu cuts himself off with a sigh that sounds suspiciously close to a laugh, letting his head fall back onto the pillow.

Our laughing fit ends as Billy stands up. “Where are you going?” 

He walks around the bed, barely glancing over at me to answer, “Give me a second.” ...Okay? “Don’t look through my underwear drawer.” 

“No promises,” Stu calls after him.

Billy doesn’t react, extending an arm and instinctually half-shutting the door. Stu adjusts, forcing himself to sit up. He’s farther back on the bed than me, but his legs are so long his knees are nearly level with mine. “We’re not really gonna do that are we?” 

Stu half laughs-half scoffs, wrinkling his nose and scrunching his eyes together in pretend disgust. “I’m good.” I smile. “We can tell him we did, though.” 

“We should also tell him we found something really embarrassing.” Stu raises his eyebrows and I immediately regret it. I scoff, reaching back to smack his arm. “Not like that, I meant like a stuffed animal or something.” 

“Don’t you have stuffed animals?” 

My posture stiffens, a tiny part of me offended that he’s implying that my children are something I should be embarrassed about. “That’s different.” I frown, thinking of the one stuffed animal that lives on my bed and the few that live around my room. “And you said you liked them.” 

Stu never said that, but he has implied it. Nothing crazy, just a few debates between a duck my mom had given me as a child and a bear from my grandparents. He even asked about their names. 

He shrugs, turning towards me. His knee taps against mine. “I’m not complaining.” I narrow my eyes, skeptical if this is leading into some kind of joke. “As long as Daisy leaves Blueberry alone.” 

I fight down a laugh, because laughing would undo all of the work I’ve put in to convincing him that making up lore about my stuffed animals is something he should stop. “You made that up.” 

He tilts his head, “That’s what Daisy wants you to think.” 

“I don’t even think you actually remember which one’s Daisy and which one’s Blueberry.” 

Stu gasps like I’ve slapped him. “Daisy’s obviously the duck with the--the sweater--blue sweater with daisies--and Blueberry’s the bear in overalls.” 

This time, the giggle slips out. I’m still not convinced he’s not making fun of me in some way or setting up for some kind of joke, but the way he grins might make it worth it. “Too easy. Which one’s Jellybean?” 

He presses his lips together to demonstrate serious thought. “The...bookshelf one. The bunny with the--the ears.” Stu lifts a hand, using his fingers to try to draw something long and floppy in the air. “The grey one.” I grin. “And the last one’s French Fry, the dog on your desk for good luck.” 

“Okay,” I manage reluctantly, a confession pulled out like a tooth, “You did a good job.” 

Stu’s smile impossibly widens, reaching forward to wrap an arm around me. “I know my girl.” 

I sigh, mumbling a quick, “Not your girl.” Stu ignores me, squeezing me to him a little more confidently. “And you know I don’t actually think French Fry’s lucky anymore, he just lives there.” 

He scoffs, “Don’t talk about French Fry like that, babe, all he does is guard your homework.” 

I frown, craning my neck to look at him, “Are you making fun of me?” 

“No,” he breathes the word out in a way that makes it feel like the opposite of what it means. 

Some joke about how French Fry’s going to have to start guarding me from him is almost out of my mouth when something creeks. Billy’s opening the door, a glass in his hand. He extends the glass towards me. I take it instinctually, even though I have no idea what the water’s about.

“Drink,” Billy says, already moving to the other side of the bed, “For your head.” 

Ah. Not the first time Billy’s blamed an issue on me not drinking enough water. Even though I didn’t ask for anything, the gesture makes my chest feel warm. I take a few long sips. “Thanks.” 

Billy nods once, sitting at the edge of the bed. Stu twists himself to make it easier to look at Billy. “You know she just said French Fry’s not lucky.” 

“Wow,” Billy shrugs, a distinctly sarcastic lilt to his shock, “That’s blasphemous.” 

I roll my eyes before drinking some more water. “I just meant that I’m not like five and that I don’t actually think he can bark away the bad grades.” A barely covered laugh overlaps with the last of my words. I snap my head towards Billy. “What?” 

“Bark away the bad grades?” Okay, it sounds dumb now, but when I was younger the thought of doing my homework in the presence of French Fry was comforting. A school counselor recommended him to keep me calm during tests and now he’s just a good omen. “You just--you don’t seem like you were that weird a kid and then you say--” 

“I was not weird!” A little defensive for someone that was in the fourth grade with a stress plushy. “I was--I was like one of those kids that was basically an extra excited old person.” 

Stu’s arm slips off me as he adjusts the way he’s sitting. “Yeah, that sounds normal.” 

Really? After what’s been established about him? “Okay, bug boy.” 

He glares, openly offended. “It wasn’t like that.” 

“Sure.” 

“Okay.” Billy’s interjection tells me that he’s hitting his petty fight limit earlier today than usual. He only tries to preemptively intervene when he’s hitting a specific wall that Stu and I make people realize they have. “Before you guys start fighting like little kids, have you had lunch yet?” 

Unless you count a bowl of ice cream that ended up abandoned in my kitchen... 

Stu sits up a little more, “Nope.” He turns his head enough to look at me, “What about you, angel?” 

I tap my nails against my knee. “Not yet.”

“Wanna go to that pizza place?” Stu offers, already moving towards the edge of the bed to stand.

The thought of food isn’t particularly appealing, but I’ve moved past the stage of panic that made the thought of eating nauseating. What is nauseating is what could happen if I go out in public. Gale Weathers has been nonstop promoting her book. What if someone recognizes me? It was bad enough when the attack first happened and my school was buzzing with journalists...Now things are confirmed and Gale Weathers can’t keep my name out of her mouth. 

My grip on the glass of water tightens, “Sure.” 

“We can do something else if you want?” 

Ugh...a selfish part of me wishes I had it in me to pretend not to hear the hint of uneasiness in Stu’s voice. I could shake my head and say that pizza’s good, blame my hesitance on the beginnings of a migraine and sleep depravation. 

“It’s not...” Both of my hands grasp the glass. I press my thumb against the rim with enough tension to leave a red line indented into my skin. “She’s still talking about it and--and I saw some other show doing a segment on it and my name came up like three times in the five minutes that I watched.” 

It’s going to take over my life. Slowly but surely, it’ll take more and more. The buzz will die down and the side stares and not-so-mumbled comments will stop, because they did before. But then the book will come out and it will start again, and by the time it stops being super relevant it’ll be linked to my identity. Colleges will see it, any job that requires a background check will find it in seconds, and all it takes is for one person to find out and then it’s everywhere. 

What if I get into a great school and start making friends and then one person realizes they’ve seen my name before or looks into Gale’s career for whatever reason and then suddenly it’s everywhere? It’ll cling to me like a shadow, the label of victim the kind one and the conspiracy theorists... 

“You don’t have to put up with it.” Billy’s voice is low, almost unfeeling. I don’t get what he’s saying. Billy understands my question before I can ask. “The Gale thing--if she wants to use your name every two seconds to promote her book, you should let her know you’re not okay with it. Don’t make it easy for her, you’re not helpless.” 

The sharpness in his tone doesn’t feel aggressive, it’s urging. Honest. “Sorry, that was--” 

“Don’t be sorry.” I mean it. The directness and the lack of coddling forced me out of my the-world-is-ending spiral. My mom’s trying to track Gale Weathers down logically, but with someone that doesn’t mind playing underhanded to get what she wants, you have to work the same way. She ambushes people all the time. “I think I needed to hear it.” 

Gale’s office is probably in a public directory, and if it’s not, she’ll probably try to find me at school. There’ll be a chance to tell her off, a chance to stop her. Or at least, to get her to stop mentioning me like I’m a tagline. 

“We’ll take her down,” Stu encourages, gently bumping his fist against my arm, “After food.” He stands up, the bed shifting beneath his weight. “C’mon, if anyone looks at you, I’ll beat ‘em up.” 

I roll my eyes, letting Stu pull on my free hand until I stand up. “You offer to do that a lot. I think you just want to beat someone up.” 

“Nah, if I did, I’d just punch Billy.” 

Billy lets out an exhausted sigh as he stands. “Seriously?” 

“What? I’d say I’d punch her, but she scares me a little.” Considering how often Stu and I do fight each other, I really doubt it. “She fights dirty.” 

“Yeah.” Billy’s agreement comes out suspiciously fast as he opens the door. “I’ve seen her kick your ass.” 

----

a/n billy and stu when someone else takes advantage of y/n’s trauma: 🤯🤬

also next chapter should be a lot messier hehehe

Taglist:  @cole22ann @womenarecannibals @fand0mskullfa1ry @princessleah129 @i-amnotokaywiththis @fvcking-gxddess @suckmyass-things @im-better-than-your-newborn @michibuni @bigenargy @marli-lavellan @mushy-mushroom04 @neenieweenie @lone-ray @the-ruler-of-death @andthevillainshallrises @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom @dixbolik-bby @thebitchiestnerdtowalktheearth @peachycupotea @my5tica1ien @agustdeeyaa @astrial @3ll0kittylvr420 @zoleea-exultant @slaypussypop-21 @aonungs-tsahik @finnydraws @slytherhoes @vxarak @xofeeeeelsxo @thewayiknowyou @yourslashersfinalgirl @winterridinghood @maggieleighc @kobababysblog @moved2burntrubbertoast @gamecrew209 @idkf-loll @wolfgirl-205 @ultimatequeenieofsass @kathanibennett @itsjuststaticnoises @brittney69 @domaniquessidehoe @kaydesssssssss @superhighschoollevelnerd-blog1 @classicbandtrash83 @itzz-me-duh 

#scream #scream x reader #scream 1966 #billy loomis #billy loomis x reader #stu macher #stu macher x reader #ghostface #ghostface x reader #poly!ghostface #Poly! Ghostface x Reader #finagl girl fic

[jessaerys]

that poll made me think of this excellent post by @magicaii re: mello’s fanon interpretation as overly emotional, and i broadly agree with all the points made, but i would also like to posit that if one subscribes to the hypothesis that mello and near grew up in a somewhat foster-sibling-like environment (which seems to already be almost universally accepted in the matt-mello relationship. is it even canon that they were roommates? it is so prevalent in the fandom that i forgot to even question it. but i digress) 

in a foster-sibling-like environment at the orphanage a certain level of childhood intimacy would be inescapable between mello and near just by virtue of growing up together: having meals together, attending the same classes, sharing caretakers and chores, being teamed up by teachers during assignments, existing in the same recreational spaces, etc. even if they were never particularly friendly with each other, they would inevitably, perhaps even unwittingly, develop some kind of understanding (“something identical in them […] something which would dart to one face, then to the other, depending on an expression or a trick of the light or the angle at which a head was cocked”) by virtue of being intellectual equals above the rest of their peers. they are, after all, foils to the L-light relationship.

in fact i find it harder to believe that they would not have interacted often at wammy’s. being slated to become and in competition for the role of L’s successor, their tutors would have set them up to push each other through special assignments/tests/projects. it is a highly effective didactic tool used in all sorts of competitive and academic environments. mello’s “you know near and i don’t get along” would be thoroughly justified: who amongst us would not hate being Assigned Partners At School with your (self-declared) nemesis!  roger knows this! he has probably threatened mello with a get-along-t-shirt! mello’s emphasis on you know is not clunky as-you-know exposition but an exasperated teenager going UGHH MOM! at a guardian that keeps refusing to acknowledge mello's protests

all of this is to say that, with this context in mind, i can imagine mello lightly “bullying”⁽¹⁾ near not because he wants to make a punching bag out of him but because in the way kids naturally learn through play and social interaction, he'd be feeling for his advantages over near (being more athletic, better with people, easier to get along with, etc) debatably he might even want to establish/prove these differences in the social hierarchy at wammy’s (given his high “social life” stats in dn13:htr) it is these differences (that near is too passive, emotionless, haughty, at least in mello’s head) which seem to frustrate mello the most, so it doesn’t strike me as out of character to think the boy who is introduced hitting someone with a ball and tugging at someone else's hair would surrender to his id⁽²⁾ and try to get a rise out of near, that he’d want to bring near down to everyone else’s “level"

and perhaps this is the shipping goggles i have on but there is something thoroughly intoxicating about being the center of attention of someone who you passionately resent when you are undoubtedly on top.⁽³⁾ you could argue mello subconsciously desires near’s admiration and either refuses to see it whenever it is there (“near told me i did good job, the condescending dick”) or near is absolute shit at communicating it (“your thought process in this essay was almost impossible to follow” <- badly worded compliment), so mello veers for the next best thing: near’s attention. much like with a bad cat, negative attention is still attention, and on god he is getting his fix of being so fucking annoying (look at me, why won't you look at me!) wherever he can get it

-

⁽¹⁾ie. wrestling him down in the playground, toppling over his towers, hiding favorite toys, pulling his hair, locking him in closets etc. nothing life-threatening or overly painful; the mean teasing of a resentful older brother, not the harassing of a bloodthirsty middle school terrorist 

⁽²⁾especially when they are younger mello would have far less developed self control lol. by the time we first meet them, at 13 and 15, this light bullying would've been largely a thing of the past, with mello becoming gradually more distant around the time he transitions into brooding teenagehood while near is still a kid, which would've made leaving wammy's far easier (i also think that mello would firmly believe that he has earned the right to bother near while everyone else has not and he WILL be fighting them about it. only he can mess with near, thank you very much. typical older brother behavior. but this post is already too long)

⁽³⁾ no. i shan't say it

#death note #meronia #mello #near #mihael keehl #nate river #[AWAKENS FROM AN HOUR LONG TRANCE] WHERE AM I

[bigmakxp]

Monty isn’t jealous, envious or wants to take Freddy’s place nor does he hate him either.

Spoilers for Ruin btw!!

So the popular theory right now that everyone’s claiming to be canon is that Monty was jealous of Bonnie and Freddy and decommissioned Bonnie to be in the band and makes his way up in the band and take Freddy’s place as well. The most popular reason for this theory is because of the Monty Golf ARcade game that shows Monty as the lead while Freddy’s in the trash. At first glance, I can see why people fall for this and think Monty wants Freddy’s place in the band but there’s some evidence that suggests otherwise.

1. The faz watch message Monty mischief makes it clear that Monty has missed main stage performances more than once to stay in Monty Golf, The place where he was once just a one man band in his own attraction (info thanks to ruin). If people are claiming that he was the one who decommissioned Bonnie out of spite or malice or fame why would he bail on his position that he went to such “great lengths” to get? Like I’m genuinely curious how it fits.

2. People never talk about this. Just moments before in the game we heard Vanessa threatening to scrap Freddy if he was involved protecting Gregory and Monty would run the shows. Now I know she said that his casing would be slapped on a new endo and it would be a temporary thing but his endo, Freddy’s true essence and person (or robot) would be scrapped thrown in the trash. Sound familiar? A certain AR game depicting just that? Nope not a clue.. /s

3. So your not convinced still? Fine. One of the endings of security breach has Gregory and Freddy driving off in a van and just who did they put in Freddy’s position as the lead? Yup. Monty. And they created an entirely new animatronic as a 4th member, glamrock mr. hippo. The decisions of fazbear entertainment is… questionable. But this proves that game is not Monty’s true intentions or desires it’s more of the company’s desires if anything. He might just be pushed into situations that he has little control over.

So in Ruin, in the Monty golf ride there’s a scene of cardboard cutouts of Bonnie, chica, Roxanne and Freddy, the original four glamrocks while Monty is looking in admiration and starry eyes. However, Freddy’s is in the shadows so people assume that Monty definitely dislikes Freddy. I think people are reading to into this though as this could have another meaning too. Call this a bit on the nose here but hear me out.

Freddy is the only one who is not present in the pizzaplex or the entirety of the ruin story. Or at least his proper head isn’t and there’s a headless prototype attacking you. Point is every cutout that has lights on them is still in the pizzaplex activated or deactivated and that includes Bonnie.

It’s just astounding that people draw these conclusions about Monty based on sources that probably weren’t even made by him or might not reflect his personality and claim it as canon. The information that we get in ruin still makes most of Monty’s character vague and non-confirming. As much as I try to accept the theories that Monty really does envy Freddy and decommissioned Bonnie on purpose I just can’t. Cause a lot of the contrasting evidence sticks out like a sore thumb.

I’d like some feedback on this whether you agree or disagree I’d like to hear different pov and interpretations on this.

#fnaf #fnaf security breach #fnaf sb #fnaf ruin #montgomery gator #glamrock freddy #glamrock bonnie #five nights at freddy's #monty gator

[inthestarsme]

Astro Observations pt. 6

These pictures are not mine! Left: "the massivist", right: "kippery" (both in pinterest).

‼️Don't repost my Observations without consent and mentioning my page‼️

I very much respect non-binary or trans people. If i'm talking about man or woman, i'm talking about cis-men or woman i know, because often, due to societal coding/standards, there can be differences depending on the gender. But it could very much apply to you if you are non-binary or trans. Just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, as spiritual people like to say.🫶🏻

If you don't agree with my observations, please don't send any hate. They're only my personal observations that i'm posting just for fun. Especialy the specific ones can only apply to certain people. So don't take anything you read too seriously. It's not a science, just pop-astrology!😎

Hey, i'm back! I've been struggeling with my mental health lately, which is why i didn't really post much. But i've been seeing all your likes and all these new people following me and it makes me very happy to know that people can resonnate with my observations!

I hope you enjoy this one! Let's go!

Jupiter conjunct MC: This is more of a speculation than an observation, but i feel like jupiter conjunct the mc could mean being known by the public for being a husband or being known for being the husband of someone or being known because of your husband? Or for doing something with your husband? I don't think this is the typical interpretation of this placement, but because of jupiter being the archetype of the husband, i feel like this could fit.

Ruler of your Ascendant conjunct your MC or conjunct planets which are conjuct the MC: I have noticed this kind of placement with celebrities who aren't just known for the work they do, but also their personality and their looks. And not a personality you put on as a show, your real personality. This could be the thing that actualy gets you famous, or what you are just best known for. Or just the thing that really pushes your public image and career.

Saturn 3rd house: Your friends could really bring you some trouble i life. For example, Kylie Jenner has this (no further explenation needed i think) and Billie Eilish who talked about loosing close friends to her because they died in tragic ways. So be careful with the friends you choose and alway tell your good friends to stay safe.

Saturn 11th house: This one can also talk about friends but i feel like this is more about not being able to fit into a bigger group or just group of friends. Bullying and being outcasted is a big thing here, while in the 3rd house it's more a one on one problem with friends.

Lilith in the 11th house: Talking about bullying, this is also an indication for that happening. I have this placement and people in bigger groups always had a problem with me because (so i think) they always saw me as too rebellious or out of the norm. Not because i was too sexually expressive (i'm adding this one because this could also have to do with it), but because i just always did things my way, even though i knew it would get me in trouble, and if someone then bullied me or anything like that, i would just be more rebellious as a form of revenge, which in the end didn't help me. I now learned that sometimes it's just better for my own mental sanity and safety to not fight back, even though fighting back is my natural instinct.

Your Ascendant in your partners 7th house or conjunct their descendant (and vice versa): This one is a big indication for the relationship/ marriage being a long term one, even life long. I don't know if i would say this means this is your absolute soulmate (i think for that you would have to add venus or north node into it), but you two probably share a very strong bond and a lot of love for each other, which keeps you together for a long time.

A lot of planets in your 7th house: I've seen this with relatives who's life kind of revolved around their marriage/ life partner or just put a lot of time, energy and focuse into their marriage.

Mars conjunct venus, especially if in the 7th house: If it's well developed, it can mean a lot of passion in love, especialy in the bedroom. But underdeveloped, it can also mean being very aggressive and prone to fighting when in love and in a relationship. So watch out for this one if you're reading your partners chart.

The house of your sun: I kind of talked about this before, but the house your sun is in can really influence how your sun sign expresses itself. So don't just look at the sign of your sun, also look at the house!

North Node conjunct Ascendant: I think one of the biggest soul lessons in your life is finding love and time for yourself instead of just your partner or other people you love. You come into this life with a big focus on the people you love, but you struggle with focusing on yourself and loving yourself. It's not about not caring about your loved ones, but also putting the same love and attention you give to them also to yourself. The south and north node is about balance, not just moving from the south to the north node.

North node in the 5th house: I feel like we always feel the need to be part of a group, and even if we are rebellious and have problems fitting in (i talked about my lilith in the 11th house), we always search for a group where we can finally have a place in. Wanting to be seen as "cool" and "populare" is a big one here. If you are being bullied, you might even try to still fit in, or if not (because you have a lilith placement like i have lol) you just keep on searching for a group to fit in. But the lesson here is to do things for yourself, to find peace in just being by and for yourself, no matter if you fit into group or not. You need to learn to express yourself creatively and just have fun with your own mind and feelings. You might find a group where you can fit in, but you will never find one that fits into your life and your needs, if you don't care about yourself enough already.

This one was a little harder for me, because i was lacking charts of people i know. But i hope you could still resonate with it. I wish you the best and see you next time! Bye! 🫶🏻

#astro community #astro observations #astroblr #astrology #jupiter conjunct mc #ascendant ruler #saturn in 3rd house #saturn in 11th house #ascendant conjunct descendant #mars conjunct venus #north node conjunct ascendant #north node in the 5th house

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

Obi Wan is capable of being kind of a bitch but also quite gentle and polite and for reasons I was thinking about when and why he gets like that-

for example in TPM he's often snarky with Qui Gon though he obviously loves him, and one thing that sticks out is that while he is clearly frustrated with Quin Gon's handling of Anakin and expresses that directly to him, he's always nice to Anakin. I'd venture that part of his irritation does stem from him feeling this isn't really fair to Anakin either- making him promises about training him even though he doesn't really meet the criteria and might not be accepted, for reasons he basically agrees with

In Aotc he gets caustic with Anakin, but it's generally again when he's done something that really irritated him- undermining him publicly, ignoring his instructions, going off on his own, putting himself and Padme in danger- but he's not mean for the sake of being mean. He's visibly embarrassed by Anakin's bad flirting but he doesn't make fun of him, and even reassures him that Padme was happy to see them. To me he's very gentle in that scene when he approaches Anakin about his dreams, and in RotS when he says goodbye before utapau- they were disagreeing a minute ago, and again obi wan was embarrassed by his behaviour with the council, but he takes the time to say goodbye properly and tell him he cares and he's proud of him. Unless this is literally the first time they've been separated during the war (and in TCW it is decidedly not) that can't be a parting that hasn't happened before.

I don't recall him ever being short with Yoda. I know some would interpret that as him being too deferential to authority (with Qui Gon being his own category I suppose) but... well, I think they're at least a little closer than that, but also we didn't really see them disagree- except I suppose when Obi Wan insisted on training Anakin, but even then Obi Wan was on his side before Qui Gon's last words, so that feels different to me. But it doesn't feel beyond me that he could feel provoked to rudeness with the council, or other authority figures for that matter.

And then there is Satine, who he is professional with for approximately five minutes before descending into rudeness

In conclusion: he is generally polite, and he's not exactly mean, but he's irritable and only professional up to a point, and then he can get bitchy.

(bonus: we never saw him bitchy with his troops, and I'd say it would take a certain degree of familiarity before that occurred, and that it's nigh impossible that they never ever got on his nerves, so it probably did happen at some point over three years.)

#just thinking it through i guess #i do find it amusing when he's a bitch #but i like his gentleness too #so i got to thinking about which is brought out when #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #obi wan and anakin #since they came up the most

[midnight-vixn]

I love the way everyone interprets Leviathan differently. Everyone typically agrees he enjoys degradation, it's literally cannon I think. But I feel like he would absolutely adore your praise and undivided attention.

He is after all the avatar of envy, jealousy absolutely runs through his veins, could I perhaps get some Yandere!Levi/Possessive!Levi after he finds out you've been having private late night hangouts with Satan in his room and in the library

Anon you’re 100% right with everything you said! I personally think Levi has both a degradation and praise kink so he’s just constantly flustered by your words. I went with possessive Levi because he absolutely gets jealous over you.

Possessive!Levi x gn!reader

Cw: jealous fucking, possessiveness (obvi), demon form sex, two dick Levi (y’all should know this by now), cream pie

Out of all the brothers, Leviathan did his best at trying to hide his sin around you. Always afraid that you would be disgusted by the way he acted, afraid you would leave him if he showed jealousy towards anyone wanting to hang out with you, afraid of you lecturing him for snapping at his brothers for hovering around you all the time.

He did his best, he really did…until Satan’s “late night study sessions” started. Not only were they cutting into his private time with you, but he was more than certain his brother had an ulterior motive behind these stupid study sessions. He wasn’t stupid, he saw the way his brother looked at you, the way he would praise you for your achievements at RAD, Levi had started attending class more often just to keep a closer eye on you. Not that he didn’t trust you, but he didn’t trust his brothers to not charm you somehow.

“It’s just quick study session Levi, nothing more I promise!” You try to convince him. “We have a big test coming up and he’s just trying to help me!”

“So? I’ll help you then if it’s that important!” He argued.

“As if you had half the notes needed to study for this exam.” The voice grating against his ears, why the hell did he have to butt into your conversation? “You were absent from most of the classes that covered the required material anyway, I doubt you could help them much.”

Leviathan turned to face his brother, looking rather sure of himself and striding across the room to stand too close to you. He loathed the confidence that Satan always had, always so sure of himself and his actions, maybe you’d be better off with him any— no! He refused to entertain the thought.

“Speaking of our session tonight,” Satan turned to you. “I thought we could have it in my room for a little more…privacy.” He reached up and adjusted the collar on your uniform as the final word left his mouth. Leviathan watched his hand touch you.

Privacy.

He watched the way Satan’s eyes looked you over.

Privacy…

The way his brother smirked, pleased with the way he had you trapped with such a loaded question.

PRIVACY??

Leviathan’s blood boiled, his eyes flickered, he grabbed your wrist and took off with you down the long hallway. You cried out in defiance, asking him to stop and talk to you but his mind was filled with a jealous rage, he had only one thing in mind.

Classes were long over, the student council meeting had just ended and the two of you had been heading home when the argument broke out. Leviathan turned down the hall and opened the first empty room he found, tossing you inside and locking the door behind him.

“What the hell is wrong with—” you start to ask but Levi cuts you off with an unusually gruff kiss. He pushes you up against the door, his hands holding your hips in place so you can’t move, a low growl coming from his throat and making your heart race. Leviathan was usually so soft and sweet with you, only acting like this when he was really worked up. He pulls away from the kiss and presses his cheek against yours as he whispers in your ear.

“Sick of them stealing you away from me, sick of him trying to take you away.” His voice much deeper than usual and much more assertive. His hands slip under your ass to lift you up, he carries you over and lays you on the massive desk at the front of the room. You feel something wrap around your legs, looking up you see his horns and a look in his eyes that’s foreign to you.

Leviathan leans down to kiss you again, just as forceful as the last time but short lived, he quickly moves down to your neck and starts leaving dark circles on your throat. His hands make quick work of your pants, pulling them down and using his tail to spread your legs wide. His tail comes up and teases your sex, you try to form words but your mind is frozen from the sudden change in behavior and instead a moan fills the empty room.

The third born moans against your neck and you can feel his erection rub against you. You run a hand through his hair and whine his name, wanting some type of answer for his sudden dominance, but in return Levi bites down on your soft flesh and growls before coming up for air.

“You’re mine and they know it.” His eyes dark and hungry. You can’t fight the soft moan that leaves you while blushing at how Leviathan is looking at you, making you realize that he’s been holding his strength back this whole time. His pants drop to the ground taking his boxers with them, and his cocks spring free both painfully hard, one with precum running down the shaft and the other just starting to leak from the tip.

He wastes no time lining you up with his slick covered cock, pushing his thick tip into your hole and sinking all the way into you while his other cock rubs against your sex. You gasp in pleasure at the way he stretches you open so suddenly, you grab at his shoulders and he drops his body down against yours. Levi grabs ahold of your hips and starts fucking into you rapidly, his one cock thrusting in and out of you while the other leaks all over your stomach and rubs against your sex for extra stimulation.

Your eyes roll back and his name rips from your throat in a scream, it’s been a long time since he fucked you like this and even then it wasn’t this rough, but you definitely weren’t complaining. Through half lidded eyes you see Levi looking down at you, eyes glazed over and lips parted slightly as he pants and fucks you like a doll. It takes you a minute to realize why he’s so rough with you but then it hits you, it’s his sin, he’s jealous of his brother being alone with you. He’s claiming you as his because he’s envious of the others being around you.

Your heart hurts for a minute because you know Levi only gets really jealous when he feels insecure about something. You don’t know why he’s insecure but you know how to fix it before he fucks you so hard you brake in half. You arch your back so his cock inside you grazes your sweet spot and his other one presses against your sex harder.

“Fuck Levi, right there baby!” You whine against his ear. You feel his body tense up and a soft whimper falls from his lips, you can barely see his face but catch a glimpse of the blush on his cheeks, your praise is his one weakness in this state. “Feels so good baby! So fucking good!”

Levi grunts and fucks into you harder, his breath fanning across your neck and shoulder, his fingers digging into your hips as he pulls you closer to him. The room is filled with lewd moans from both of you, the sound of skin slapping together and the scraping of the desk against the floor as it moves under Levi’s thrusts. He’s close, you can tell from the way his brows furrowed together trying to will his orgasm away. You grab onto the back of his neck with one hand and scratch down his back with the other, he sucks in a sharp breath at the sensation.

“They could never take me from you baby,” you whine against his ear in a voice laced with false innocence. “They don’t have two fat cocks to stuff me full like you do!”

“FUCK!” Leviathan’s hips snap forward, his body curls inward, his tail tightens around your thighs and his eyes screw shut. His one cock paints your walls white while the other shoots ropes all over your stomach and his. He groans and ruts into you slowly, letting you milk him dry as your own orgasm washes over you, your cum mixing with his and spilling onto the desk underneath.

You both catch your breath finally and redress, Leviathan’s cum still leaking out of you and running down your inner thigh as you try to stand on your own two feet.

“Shit, I can barely feel my legs.” You laugh at yourself for how shaky your lower half feels. Leviathan groans and wraps his arms around you from behind, back to his normal bashful self and incredibly embarrassed by his behavior, he nuzzles his face into your neck.

“Can we go home and cuddle…and forget I did that?” He pleads. You smirk and pull his face out of your neck, planting a soft kiss on his lips.

“Of course can go cuddle,” your voice becomes teasing “but there’s no way in hell I’ll forget that.”

#obey me smut #midnight thirsts #obey me #obey me leviathan smut #obey me leviathan x reader #omswd

[wildpeachfarm]

i get why doubing about dteam. Bc yeah gnf is in the wrong. He's not inocent of making caiti uncomfortable. Now if it was sexual assault or not we'll have to see if he confirms or not anything she says or not. At the end of the day we'll never know what truly happened in that room that night. My mom told something about this that it's very true: "this seems like a situation were two persons Saw what happened differently" and She's right, there's three versions dnf's caiti's and the truth. Which is close to the third we'll never know. Bc Even things that she or he said might have been misunderstood by the context and being drunk. He might have been touching her ribs and got close to his bra and she misremenbers it as him touching her breasts, it might have happened and gnf doesn't remenber it. It might have happened and gnf thinks it was tame for some stupid reason, it might happened and what she did about it was different or another possibility might have happened and neither are telling the truth. All parties are biased and are humans with human brain and the human brain it's biased by Nature and based on emotions. It's also true that both parties or neither could be lying or manipulating us. We'll never know which one or of both are doing it. Unless new proof comes out of both parties agree on it we'll problably never truly know what the hell happened in that room that night %100 sure

Yeah and I think we will need to all learn how to be comfortable with the fact that we will never know the true story 100% because every single human in that situation would interpret things slightly differently if i had to bet. The whole thing is so nuanced and I've always said this, but people will disagree with your opinions on it no matter what- thats just the reality because everyone has different experiences that shape their perception of the situation.

As soon as you learn to be comfortable with the fact that no one knows everything for certain, or exactly what happened, or what could have happened if things went differently, you start feeling more at peace with everything and that is definitely a healthy way to process it all.

#ask #anon #anti drummyache tag

[dearweirdme]

i’m so confused as to how everyone seemingly came to the collective consensus that the dream premiere was some huge pivotal moment/statement for taekook. i don’t rlly understand how them showing up to a movie premiere together is a huge deal? it’s not like they waltzed in holding hands or anything like that. it very well could have just been two close friends/bandmates going to a movie premiere together bc why not? if any two other members had gone to a movie premiere together it would be seen as completely platonic and normal so why is tkk going made out to be some crazy brave and “wow” moment for them? everyone knows they’re friends. is it just bc jk was shy? bc that’s pretty normal for him tbh especially given that it was his first public outing since being on hiatus for a long time and only doing weverse lives from his house/gym.

also everyone seems to have concluded that they were definitely intentionally wearing queer coded clothes when honestly their outfits were pretty normal. ppl just dug extensively into the background of every item they wore and found some far-off connection to queerness/tkk when rlly it’s so unlikely they planned each article of clothing out like that. bc for what? they’re not actually trying to come out so why would they plan queer coded outfits as some “secret sign” ? like ppl really think jungkook looked up the exact quotes of the print on his jacket and traced it back to being vaguely alluded to something queer? and then said to himself “yes this is what i’ll wear to show the world” ?? and ppl genuinely believe taehyung intentionally wore the brand juntae kim to symbolize the connection of their two names together…like rlly? it’s just a brand…we talk so much abt how shippers connecting clothes/accessories to prove a relationship is stupid yet we’re out here doing the same and making it one of our biggest moments?

don’t get me wrong i love the dream premiere, it was cute, but i rlly don’t get why it’s been made out to be THAT much of a big deal. like i get the kappa tshirts thing bc those r clearly the exact same shirt on the same day but in what way is going to a movie premiere together some “huge step” ?

Hi anon!

Personally, I don’t see Dream premiere as the ‘they’re making a statement’ some seem to think it is. I think it was important to them personally, because they got to do something just the two of them.. that would come closest to being couply as they publicly can. I think it’s something Tae especially wishes for and possibly this was a real moment for them because of that. Just.. being somewhere together knowing themselves that they are a couple.. I think it must’ve felt satisfying to a certain degree.

I don’t think it was their way of telling the public they are together. I don’t think they specifically chose those clothes to make a statement, rather I think it’s clothes they like from brands they like. I would like to say though that I think both Tae and Jk are aware of what’s behind the brands they choose. I don’t think it’s them making huge statements, but rather them having preferences which are based in them being queer. I also think Tae would be aware of the Oscar Wilde reference. To me that is much more pointed than the brand he’s wearing. They probably are aware of the way fandom scrutinizes everything they do and wear, and I believe the wearing of queer brands is a choice.

I don’t fully agree with your assessment of Jk being shy. Having seen him solo, I know that man is capable of moving past his shyness and introverted tendencies. I don’t think it’s something he unlearns during the times he isn’t in public much. BTS members have trained for these things, they have learned through experiences how to deal with being the focus of everyone. So for me his shyness during Dream does not stem from being in the public eye again after a while.

If I were to go all sappy (I’m gonna… fully aware that my interpretation of this doesn’t proof a thing 😂)… it’s just in the way they look at each other. The way Tae seems all proud and endeared by Jk. How they hold eye contact for a bit and then look away cutely. How Tae reassures Jk and Jk goes giggly. It’s soft to me in ways I maybe can’t explain correctly.

#taekook #dream premiere

[transmutationisms]

if you don’t mind me asking, what were the absurd unsourced claims about covid? i realize you may not want to reply and sort of perpetuate the spread of misinformation by not just burying it but i also would like to know if i’ve ended up absorbing something untrue that was stated alongside other sourced claims

idek what particular thing annoyed me enough to post about it lol because honestly, i see this all the time. i think the overall state of 'science communication' throughout this pandemic continues to be absolutely atrocious. it is bad practice to (for example) back up a claim to scientific certainty with a link to one (1) article, double points if it's a pre-print or was done on a small sample size or had sampling issues or other methodological flaws. we are in a situtation where the epidemiological factors change fast: new variants, new shots, &c. the degree of certainty with which certain (usually social media famous) communicators will make claims about this situation belies either a fundamental misunderstanding of how long it takes to establish scientific consensus, or a cynical disregard for such considerations. all of this is before we even get into issues like rampant p-hacking and just shitty low-quality science---yes, these exist in the 'hard' sciences as well. i can't tell you how many times i click through the links on some piece of covid communication---from literally any ideological camp---and it's weak, provisional, low-quality evidence to back up massive claims. this is bad practice even when the source is someone i agree with politically!

we know covid is fucking dangerous and terrifying and that it's spreading unchecked. and we know that most governments and public health institutions at this point have abandoned the disabled and medically vulnerable. i don't think we need to just make up inflammatory twitter bullshit (eg, a few weeks back when someone started saying cdc was going to prevent americans under 65 from recieving the new boosters? which was simply not true?) to get these points across. and like i said before, i really fucking hate being in this position where it feels like the only people who do agree that this is still a serious public health issue are also prone to spreading low-quality information. i don't want to be sitting here nitpicking, like, the exact claims about autoimmunity or prevalence of long covid or whatever because covid is a terrifying disease, long covid is a terrifying disease, and we should all be protecting one another and living in a society set up to allow us to actually do that. but i do also think that the prevalence of lies and scare tactics and shitty science has contributed to the degree to which this pandemic is not being taken seriously. because if everyone is engaging in the same bad communication and low-quality scientific interpretation and inflammatory bullshit claims, then it's sort of like... well, i can understand why many people would rather not listen to the people telling them it's still a dangerous situation. like yeah, why would you not just choose the people telling you that life can go back to your pre-pandemic 'normal'?

[grandmother-goblin]

Some thoughts about Astarion and romantic relationships because why the hell not!

As always, these are my opinions! My experiences color my interpretation just like your experiences color yours! Not here to fight, just here to talk about a character I like because I’m a huge geek.

1. After all he did whilst under the influence of Cazador, I strongly believe that he doesn’t really want sex or romance without a genuine connection with the other person.

2. This is why the potential scene with the drow twins makes me feel a little bad for him. I think if Astarion agrees to it, it’s mostly for Tav’s sake and not because he really wants to. But he does want to make Tav happy. And I think Tav, in that case, is a bit selfish for asking that of him.

3. Or! If Astarion agrees to the thing with the drow twins, it might just be because he doesn’t know how to say no or he’s falling back into old habits.

3. Or! Lastly, maybe he does genuinely want to try it! And then he gets there and is like “oh…. Oh no… Well, I’m committed now.” While I can see this being possible, I find it a little difficult to wrap my head around why he would want to try it in the first place. Because he’s essentially just using his body for people again. One of those people is Tav, who he cares about, but he doesn’t know the drow from the gnome two blocks down. (This is probably just a me thing. I’m sure him wanting to try would make total sense to some people and that’s valid! My little pea brain doesn’t totally get it though lol)

5. All that being said, I think Astarion is perfectly capable of being in a healthy polyamorous relationship in certain scenarios! But it would depend a lot on his current mental state, where he is in terms of healing from his trauma, and how secure he feels in his relationship. I’ll use Halsin as an example because that’s a possibility in game.

6. Case 1: Astarion and Tav are in a secure relationship and Tav wants to hook up with Halsin (just sex). Astarion, I think, would be okay with that provided that he feels confident/secure in his relationship with Tav. Far be it from him to keep Tav from a good time! No pressure for his involvement beside his permission.

7. Case 2: Astarion and Tav are in a secure relationship and both of them are emotionally close with Halsin. I think Astarion would be totally chill with polyamory in this case. Him and Tav want the same thing and he doesn’t have to worry about Halsin stealing Tav away.

8. Case 3: Astarion and Tav are in a secure relationship, and Tav wants a threesome with him and Halsin. Unless Astarion is already close with Halsin, I feel like he would be less okay with this. It would be similar to (2) on the list where Astarion is mostly just trying to make Tav happy.

9. Last headcanon and one that I know not everyone will agree with: Astarion is a possessive bastard.

10. Astarion went so long without having anything to call his own, not even his own body, so I think that when he’s in a relationship that Tav is his. He can share Tav if he wants to, but at the end of the day he has to know that he is Tav’s first choice.

11. This is where polyamory would probably get messy with him. I think that he would need to be Tav’s favorite. If Tav seemed to be liking their partner just as much as they liked Astarion, I think Astarion would get really jealous and insecure really fast.

12. My personal favorite scenario for Astarion is a monogamous relationship (this is not everyone’s favorite scenario! That is okay! I’m not fighting you!) The reason why this is my favorite because I think this is ultimately what Astarion would feel most comfortable with. It leaves less room for doubt, insecurity, jealousy, etc (I am fully aware these pop up in monogamous relationships as well. I am not exalting monogamous relationships here. I personally just think that would be the most comfortable situation for this particular character. Your opinions may differ and that’s fine!)

I can probably talk about this more, but that’s all I’m gonna say for now! Again, absolutely not judging or calling out anyone who thinks differently. You do you! I’m just throwing thoughts around like confetti because why not?

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #grandmother goblin grumbles

[vashtijoy]

on canon

So here's the deal:

No work of fiction has a single interpretation. There are as many interpretations, pretty much, as there are people, and that's because the job of fiction is to tell us about ourselves—about others too, yes, and about the world around us, yes. But primarily, a work of fiction is a collaboration between the author and the reader/viewer/player/etc.

What does that mean, exactly? Surely the creator is the one who gets to say what a character is? Well, no.

Let's take a character (call him... idk, something nice and generic, like "Boro"). The creator wrote Boro with certain ideas in mind. But Boro doesn't really come to life until he reaches the viewer—when the creator's concept interacts with the viewer, to create something new. And there are a lot of viewers.

A work of fiction is as much what the viewer sees as it is what the creator intended. It's what we all bring to it, as much as it's what the creator wrote. Art is not dictated; it's not a straitjacket, with rules and diktats that must never be broken. Art is released into the world. Because art is nothing without an audience.

What Boro (or his frenemy Ben, or their close lookalikes Bight and Bell, or any characters or canon you want to name) are is as much about how you think of them, and what you see, and what you personally bring to them, as they are about their dialogue and visuals and the events of their plot.

on fanfiction

This means there is really no "bad" fanfiction. We all create and write to our own vision—we draw on our ideas of the original work, on the inspiration we personally drew from it. We take the things that spoke to us—that moved us, or obsessed us, or that we just found funny—and we create things we love, using the original work as a source. Plus, we're all learning our art—some of us have been writing for twenty years, and others have just started. That kid writing today will write the epics of tomorrow. So don't bite the newbies.

Sometimes our shared universes overlap, and that's great! Sometimes nobody else agrees, which can be kind of lonely—but doesn't make your vision somehow less valid. We are not painting by numbers; we're creating a palimpsest of slightly different (or very different) visions.

Why start fights because someone else doesn't share your artistic vision? Make your own thing that you like. We're a flock of birds singing, not the Borg.

digression: so why do you spend so much time talking about canon

I'm more of a researcher than I'm a writer. And what became clear to me very early on was just how much I'd missed on my playthrough of P5R—and just how well the story hung together, when you scratched a little below the surface. Those things interest me. I don't like the feeling that I misunderstood things, and I like unearthing connections, obscure text chats that are easy to miss, cockeyed correspondences that don't necessarily mean anything, and so on.

For me, canon is our shared baseline. It's the light outside before it hits our retinas, before we get into the detail of whether the blue I see is really the blue you see. I find digging into canon can spur ideas; a close look at it can support interpretations that are often ridiculed ("Akechi feels remorse for his actions" would like a word).

Ultimately, everything I blog about is my interpretation. I hope it's accurate and I'm glad when it speaks to people! But it's not the law. And if people are creating things that don't agree with it? Good. That's exactly how it's supposed to be.

tl;dr

Write your story. Sing your song. Tell your truth.

#fanfiction #writing #canon #death of the author

[micia-posts-stuff]

The absolute double standard of saying Damian is more mature and doesn’t need to be change aged up when we have writers have him still treating Anya like if he was an 6 year old with a crush, lashing out at her and sometimes insulting her and treating her even worse, and it is worse because he should know better by then. Not to mention have him be openly ashamed of his feelings for her and have Anya still fall for a immature manchild like this, because it’s okay is not what he really thinks anyway :/

Alright, since I'm receiving a lot of asks on this subject, I want to preface this by saying that I haven't read a lot of Damianya fan fiction. The reason why in my previous asks I always go back to the manga is because I don't have that much experience in Damianya fan fictions and I don't want to seem like I have more knowledge on the subject than I actually do 😅

Also also for how many pet peeves you, me or anyone else might have it's important to remember that authors and artists do this for free and under no obligation, so I try to keep a "if you don't like it, don't read it" kinda vibe, or read it anyway if you want to explore a different interpretation, but keep in mind that it's ok if it doesn't align with what you have in mind. This is to say that I'm trying to answer these by just speculating my personal interpretation of Damian and Anya and their future, not to police anybody.

With that being said, from what I've seen a lot of aged up Damian and Anya are still teens, so I think it's ok if he's still embarrassed of his crush, because teens are awkward, so Damian has the right to be an awkward teen. Even if they're already adults a bit of "I can't believe I fell in love with you" can be funny, it's the classic "you're an idiot" "Yes but I'm YOUR idiot" situation. The same way I said I think Anya would still have a bit of childhood wonder I also think Damian might keep some tsundere-tendencies. I do agree that I'd like to see Damian stop lashing out to Anya and definitely not treating her worse, especially because I think he's already making progress in the manga, apologizing and dropping the act when other people aren't around, he still has work to do, but he's getting better. Tho I also think a bit of playful bickering is funny. It's even a recurring gag in the manga that their bickering is seen as normal, with the other kids, including Becky, Ewen and Emile, leaving them to go to class. Also when Damian thinks he has crossed the line in any way (even when he didn't mean it and it genuinely wasn't his fault, like when Anya told him she got a dog) he immediately apologies and tries to cheer her up. Like the way this kid cannot stand Anya being upset and crying is honestly so cute and funny, one of my favorite things about their dynamic. So in conclusion I think they would still bicker a bit, but never to be hurtful, because Damian can't really stand making her actually upset. But also, if a fic or a comic wants to explore a moment when one of them said something wrong that's also fine, because sometimes people say stuff they don't mean and writing about fictional characters doing the same is ok.

If you think my take is pretty lukewarm is because it is, I really don't want people to feel like they HAVE to write characters a certain way.

#also nobody said Damian doesn't need to be aged up #we were just arguing it's probably easier to age him up #ask #damianya #Damian Desmond #Anya Forger #spy x family #sxf #sxf spoilers

[beanghostprincess]

I totally agree with your opinion on Z0$an.

For me, I really enjoy their canon dynamic and can see why people ship them but then when I see most fan content of them it bothers me because most of the time they’re being mischaracterized and I only like their very specific canon dynamic (I can’t really describe it). Additionally it bothers me when certain moments for other ships that involve one of the two get interpreted as platonic when these same moments would be seen as romantic if they were between Zoro and Sanji. For example basically every Sanuso moment but especially in Water 7 and Enies Lobby or the most egregious example, the „Nothing happened“ moment.

Yeah,,, It bothers me that most people are so intense and adamant about Sanuso/Zolu's scenes being platonic when those same scenes would've been perceived as romantic with Zo$an. And I am honestly somebody who keeps reaching a lot and looking for content in every little scene, but that's because idk, Sanuso (for example) doesn't have as much content as Zo$an. These shippers don't need to make everything about their ship for content and they don't even need any proof of it being canon, and yet they keep making other ship's scenes about them (the "nothing happened" scene could be seen as Zo$an too but c'mon we all know that's a Zolu thing. And the new art of Reiju and Tashigi??? I'm sorry but can we please let the sapphics have this one color spread instead of making it about the most popular ship of the fandom?).

That being said, I don't care about people doing this because they like the ship and like to look for content in every little thing (I do it too!!). What bothers me aren't Zo$an shippers (I even ship this myself lmao I know it looks like I hate it but I don't) but Zo$an shippers who genuinely believe this is actual proof for the ship being canon or saying other ships are "wrong" or "don't make sense". De nile is a river in Egypt and these people need to understand that probably 80% of their content is mischaraterized because they keep ignoring the beautiful, precious potential they have in their already canon dynamic. And also, your ship doesn't need to be canon to be enjoyed like... Some people need to understand that.

Long story short, I like Zo$an when it's in character and people don't force it down my throat. It's really sad because I think that Zo$an, despite being so popular, has a lot of wasted potential.

Also, don't mention Sanuso being underrated in comparison to Zo$an because I will end up writing a whole paragraph and nobody wants drama-- I prefer to blame Usopp haters rather than other ships for its unpopularity. But uh, yeah, a lot of scenes between Usopp and Sanji are extremely romantic and the fact that it's underrated (when other ships have more attention having less romantic scenes) bothers me quite a lot. But then again, I think one of the main reasons is because Usopp is criminally underrated.

#please this is making me look so much like a zo$an hater i promise i like them JENFJNSJS #i just can't stand that specific part of the fandom #but then again all fandoms have those people i just ignore them and only started this for the unpopular opinions ask #also sanuso my beloved it has nothing to do with this but i use every little opportunity to mention my underrated cuties #ngl can we talk abt how usopp and sanji argue 24/7 too and nobody thought abt that being extremely gay #unlike with another certain ship #i should shut up i don't want ship drama but y'know #one piece

[aihoshiino]

hi!! this is a 'lil out of the blue but i've been thinking about chapter 132, and if you're ok with me asking, what's your opinion of ruby and nino's versions of what Ai would say? When I first read Ruby's interpretation, it didn't strike me as unlike Ai per-se, but I've gotta admit, Nino's answer rang true to me in a way Ruby's didn't. But for the life of me, I can't seem to narrow down why (´･ω･`)?

It bothers me, because while the words themselves sound plausible, Nino's interpretation of the feelings behind them is all wrong. I don't remember her exact words, but it was something like, 'she was so far above us that she wouldn't even remember what i said. my words couldn't bother her.' To Nino, its just more evidence that Ai was a perfect idol. but we know that's not true at all? in the first place, Ai had genuine trouble with her memory, even when it came to her most important people, so her forgetting something isn't the same as her like.. asserting dominance or w/e. And I'm certain, especially after chapter 133, that every time Nino said something cruel to Ai it hurt her deeply. If it looked like Ai simply brushed it off, it's because she was putting in a ton of effort to keep her head up. Knowing all that, it makes it so hard to agree with Nino. I do and I don't at the same time?

I feel nervous speculating about it because it's disrespectful to put words in Ai's mouth, but what do you think she would've done in that situation? Me personally, I think it might land somewhere between what Ruby said and what Nino said. Because Ai was constantly trying to connect and love the people around her, I can believe she'd extend kindness towards Nino like Ruby did, but at the same time she was hurting so badly that saying "it's all good" wouldn't communicate her true feelings. Being okay takes time, you can't just flip a switch on it. If anything, I think it'd thrust her into a kind of despair, where she can't communicate the true complexity of her feelings for fear of pushing Nino away, but not giving voice to them makes her feel so acutely like a liar, and the last thing she wants is to respond to Nino's genuine regret with a lie. She's so trapped in it (┬┬﹏┬┬).

sorry this is so long btw!! these characters are so easy to ramble about there's so much to them ^^;

Sorry for the wait on a response to this one! It was such an interesting question I ended up rolling it around in my head all week before I felt fully confident that I could get across how I wanted to respond to it.

What I think it ultimately comes down to for me is that Nino is not wrong in how she says Ai would respond - in fact, I think she's correct in saying that Ai would have responded in the way Nino would've wanted to hear and that she would've chosen the sort of, path of least resistance of pretending she didn't even remember she'd been hurt. This feels the most consistent to me with the invincible, flighty persona Ai puts up when she's not quite feeling 100% and it also lines up with how she describes herself in the Spica novel.

Serious talks weren't her cup of tea, and she detested the weighty atmosphere they brought. [...] So, with the same nonchalance, she declared her departure. Things always went smoother without unnecessary drama.

(source is my in-progress TL of the free preview chapter i promise i'll finish it soon [<- in tears])

Where Nino stalls is in her understanding of Ai's motivations. In her mind, the cruelty she subjected Ai to wasn't even worth remembering— Ai was invincible, untouchable and inhuman so even if her words had stung in the moment, there was no way that she'd even remember being targeted by Nino. It should go without saying that this is not reflective of the real Ai in the least.

This is why Ruby, though I don't think she quite sticks the landing, is the one of the two who actually making calls about Ai in line with who she was as a person. While she doesn't properly understand the depths to which Ai was fighting every day to just be okay with things at that moment in time, she intuits something just as important quite naturally and without even seeming to realize she's doing it— Ai's kindness, her desire to help and reach out to people and her instinctive gestures of warmth and outreach when she sees someone who's in pain. Ruby acts on this kindness with barely a moment's thought and ends up embodying the real Ai's heart so vividly.

This is why Nino reacts with such immediate derision. The real Ai's human heart is something that repulses her— she rejects it any time she catches so much of a glimpse of it. It's natural then that she'd dismiss Ruby's earnest, clumsy and honest portrayal; imperfect, but truthful in the ways that really matter.

In short, I think Nino was right, but for the wrong reasons and in turn, Ruby was wrong, but for the right reasons.

I think Ai genuinely would've forgiven Nino in her own way— to her, her expression of "Oh, did you say that?" and pretending to have forgotten it would have been her way of telling Nino it was all water under the bridge and that she has no hard feelings. We know she wanted so, so badly to be friends with the other girls in B-Komachi and I think having Nino reach out to her would have made her so incredibly happy, happy enough that she would've been tripping over herself to forgive Nino of everything if it meant not losing a chance at forming that connection.

Of course, to Nino, it just would've been more proof of how she viewed Ai and more fuel for her belief of Ai as this untouchable, inhuman idol. The sad reality is that I don't think there was ever a chance for Nino and Ai to connect once things went south. That well had been too thoroughly poisoned.

and that's why they should kiss. thank you for your time.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ruby hoshino #ai hoshino #onk spoilers #b-komachi #onk nino #WHERE IS THE TOXIC YURI AI/NINO CONTENT PLEEEEEEEASE ONK FANDOM #<- on her hands and knees