#again this is not a cry for attention or a passive aggressive way to tell my friends to check up on me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ellievickstar · 9 months

Text

Between Two Worlds (Chapter 2) DISCONTINUED

Summary: After fifty years of being under Amarantha's reign, Your brother has found his mate, and as you prepare for a meeting with the High Lords of Prythian, you realise something utterly terrifying and yet so curious at the same time.

Request: N/A

Pairing: Azriel x Reader, Eris Vanserra x reader

Warnings: This is….long. I got a little carried away with the High Lord’s meeting.

Between Two Worlds / Part 2 / Part 3 / Discontinued

~*~*~*~*~

It had been a few months before Feyre had finally returned from the Spring Court, rumours of it collapsing from the inside travelled across the country, and you could still recall the absolute joy on Rhysand’s face when he had chased everyone out of the room to spend time with his mate. Giggling, you had led Azriel to do a bit of shopping, feeling like you should be compensated for rudely being kicked out of your own home. However, your spending barely made a dent in Rhys’s money pile.

Azriel had refused to spend so much money, but delighted in the fact you were happy. Well, it was a little short-lived when you realised your favourite bookstore had closed you had begun to cry. Azriel swore under his breathe and promised to bring you 20 books if you stopped crying. That had been a pretty sweet deal, so you had stopped.

Now, here you were, getting ready for the High Lord’s meeting. For the occasion you had chosen a light yellow gown that you had bought because the entire design was a map of prythian, well the versions of the map without Velaris that is. It saddened you that you could not tell others about this sanctuary that they could run to, but you knew that it was for the safety of the city, your father had taught you that.

The gown was off the shoulder, small flowers decorated the sides of the neckline. The bone bodice was beautiful as it extended into a flowing skirt with a slit right up your thigh. A knock on your door caught your attention.

“Come in,” Calling to whoever knocked, you smiled at the shadow singer who gingerly stepped into your room. Twirling in your dress, you asked if he thought you looked decent. “You’re beautiful,” Azriel assured you, before joking, “Ten bucks says Helion asks us to sleep with him again.” You grinned, “Twenty bucks says Beron will start the fight,” “I’ll raise, thirty, Tamlin hauls ass and magically shows up so he can throw a tantrum,” Shaking hands with each other, an agreement was made, Azriel believed there was no way Tamlin would show up after Feyre blew up his court like hat, you believed that he would, but only to humiliate her and convince the rest that he was the good guy.

You looked forward to the meeting.

~*~*~*~*~

You were right. Absolute Silence. Absolute stillness as everyone took in the High Lord of the Spring Court who had just burst in through the balcony.

You looked to Feyre as she looked back at you, not quite sure what to do as shield after shield locked into place around each High Lord and his retinue. You could feel Rhysand's anger rolling off of him in waves, after five-hundred years, you knew that the bored expression on his face was just another mask.

You took a deep breathe as you relaxed into the chair, ever the cool and collected second in command of the High Lord of the Night Court. You spied the vague distaste from Mor's face, and took pride in the cold caution that you had told Nesta to regard Tamlin with. You glanced at Feyre as you watched her expression morph from shock, to complete wariness. She was the only one here who would know Tamlin better than anyone else. And you were good enough at reading people, that you knew exactly which one of the Tamlin's mood you were going to be dealing with.

You smiled at the Spring Court's High Lord, trying to make your expression as passive aggressive as possible. After all, it was just like the asshole to show up unannounced, just like when he showed up unannounced all those years ago to slaughter your mother and sister.

You grit your teeth at the memory.

Thesan rose, his captain beside him remained stiff, his hand on his sword. “We were not expecting you, Tamlin,” He gestured towards his cringing attendants, cowards, “Fetch the High Lord a chair.”

In your ever so humble opinion, Tamlin the tool did not need a chair. He could stand. You huffed impatiently as you watched the High Lord stare at your sister-in-law. You were about to throw up, what form of 'running away from you' screamed: I want to be with you every waking moment. He was either dense, or straight up naive if he actually thought Feyre went running back into his arms. He doesn't even have the right to be pissed off.

Beron drawled, “I will admit, Tamlin, that I am surprised to see you here.” You exchanged looks with Eris. Little to your family's knowledge, you and Eris were actually good friends. After Mor was left for dead you actually tried to kill him, in which you eventually reconciled, however, you will always push him to sincerely apologise to Mor after Beron kicks the bucket once and for all. You were both worried about the fact that Beron would say something extremely stupid, but also looked forward to the fact that there was a huge chance Beron would be absolutely sassed by the other High Lords. Your bet with Cass was on Helion, or your brother.

“Rumor claims your allegiance lies elsewhere,” Beron continued as Tamlin paid him no mind, his gaze seeming to shift over Feyre. Feyre seemed like a deer in headlights under his gaze and you prayed that someone would break the tension because you certainly wasn't going to do it yourself.

The attendants dragged a chair and placed it in between Helion's entourage and Beron's sons. Though, both didn't seem pleased with it, they didn't show any reaction when Tamlin settled himself down. Helion waved up a hand as he spoke, “Let's get on with this, then.”

Thesan cleared his throat and you tried not to groan as everyone gazed at Tamlin, who refused to do anything except keep staring at your brother and sister-in-law. Creepy.

Tamlin finally spoke and you nearly rolled your eyes as his words finally rang out, “It would seem congratulations were in order.” Everyone knew that he was itching to say something terrible about them. Where was the fighting and brawling that your brother said would happen? He knew you despised meetings because of the sheer boredom you had to go through, but you were starting to get restless. You wanted to hit something, and you wanted it to be at least Tamlin.

Rhys only held Tamlin’s stare. Held it with a face like ice, and yet utter rage roiled beneath it. Maybe, just maybe, you would finally witness your brother lose his cool. He has been rather out of sorts with Feyre by his side, and he did promise a fight…

Your thoughts were interrupted as Rhys seemed to address Thesan, who had reclaimed his seat, “We will discuss this matter later.” Tamlin scoffed and you shot him a look as he spoke, “Don't stop on my account.”

It was then that you finally decided to speak up, “Forgive us for not being in business of discussing plans with enemies,” Helion grinned as he seemed to nod slightly in approval. You were quite close with Helion, when you were younger and your brother did not have time to take care of you, he would just send you to Helion for a ‘formal’ visit. Those visits often ended up with you and Helion falling on your asses after doing something incredibly stupid. He wasn’t the most responsible, but the High lord knew mischief, and he was good at it.

Tamlin replied with equal ease, “No, your court is just in the business of screwing them.” You paused as you took a deep breathe, trying to soothe your growing anger. You felt something tingle in your chest, making you glance down at the various inks that decorated your arm. All bargains, all promises.

Rhysand smiled faintly, ignoring the fact that Mor, Cassian and Azriel were about to try and commit murder after Tamlin decided to speak to you in such a…crude manner, “Seems like a far less destructive alternative to war,” “And yet here you are, having started it in the first place.” Your brother's blink was the only sign of his confusion. A claw slid out of Tamlin's knucle as he dragged it down the arm of his chair.

He smiled and said to Rhys, “

“If you hadn’t stolen my bride away in the night, Rhysand, I would not have been forced to take such drastic measures to get her back.” You wanted to say something in return but was interrupted as Feyre said quietly, “The sun was shining when I left you.” Tamlin's eyes slid to Feyre, he let out a low snort then looked away. The absolute audacity to dismiss her, that was some guts he had for a dead man walking.

Kallias asked, the first of which he'd spoken since Tamlin arrived, “Why are you here, Tamlin?” Tamlin went to go on about his sob story, and you wanted to scoff as you listened to his poor twisting of the actual events of what happened. As he spoke, you realised that this was no meeting, no this was a careful shredding of Feyre's dignity, and you were not going to sit back and watch.

“Be careful how you speak about my High Lady,” Azriel said, his voice like cold death. Your heart melted as Azriel finally showed that fierce protectiveness in him, protectiveness over his family. Surprise flashed in Tamlin’s eyes — then vanished. Vanished, swallowed by pure fury as he realised what that tattoo coating Feyre's hand was for. “It was not enough to sit at my side, was it?” A hateful smile curled his lips. “You once asked me if you’d be my High Lady, and when I said no ...” A low laugh echoed from him and it chilled your spine. “Perhaps I underestimated you. Why serve in my court, when you could rule in his?”

“Well, why be trapped and locked away when she can spread her wings and fly? Why don’t you tell all of them how you locked her in that house, refused to let her out even when she told you she felt like she was drowning!” You snapped. Tamlin then muttered, “Why don’t you ask your brother how he was being so happy, after all, he did serve Amarantha in many ways,” Tamlin deadpanned.

Rhys let out a dark laugh, “Well played Tamlin. You're learning.” You wanted to say more but a Rhys ordered you to stop with a quick message to your head, it echoed up and down your mental shields and you could not refuse his wishes, for this came from the High Lord, not you brother. Having no choice, you sat up straight as your eyes remained trained on Tamlin, silently contemplating just how much you'd like to watch him scream.

Tamlin turned to Kallias, as he spat out every word, “You asked why I’m here? I might ask the same of you.” He jerked his chin at the High Lord of Winter, at Viviane — the few other members of their retinue who had remained silent. “You mean to tell me that after Under the Mountain, you can stomach working with him?” You stared at Vivian, one of your closest friends, confused, and for the first time she only looked at her mate as something in both of them seemed to dim, “We came here to decide that for ourselves.”

Rhys said to them softly, “I had no involvement is that. None.” Kallias's flared like blur flames, “And what about the fact that you sat next to that throne when the order was given.” You paled as you realised what Kallias was talking about. The massacre of the children in the Winter Court.

“She wanted to kill you Kallias. I convinced her not to but if I pushed any further she told me that she had full control over the curse on my sister, I tried as much as I can but you have to understand that I have family too,” Kallias softens for a moment, as he looked at you apologetically.

“Forgive me, it was…insensitive. I did not mean to bring up the suffering that you endured,” You simply sat still, unable to move. You felt a polite knock on your mental shields as Rhys tried to check on you. You just looked down, clearing your throat as you blinked back tears.

Rhys’s mouth tightened. “There is not one day that passes when I don’t remember it,” he said to Kallias, to Viviane. To their companions. “Not one day.” You look up, breathing in as you mask your sadness, nodding to your brother's sentence. There was so much more truth to that than anyone could imagine, Rhys tore himself apart about their deaths, blamed himself everyday.

“Remembering,” Kallias said, “doesn’t bring them back, does it?” “No,” Rhys said plainly. “No, it doesn’t. And I am now fighting to make sure it never happens again.” Viviane glanced between her husband and Rhys. “I was not present Under the Mountain. But I would hear, High Lord, how you tried to — stop her.” Pain tightened her face. She, too, had been unable to prevent it while she guarded her small slice of the territory you wanted to grasp her hand and squeeze it tight, assure her that she had done her best. Rhys said nothing.

Beron snorted. “Finally speechless, Rhysand?” You glared harshly at Beron in which he grinned back like a wolf. Eris shot you a warning look and you rolled your eyes, perhaps you could deliever an early birthday present to Eris and murder Beron right here right now. Feyre placed her hand on Rhys's as she breathed the words that you knew he needed to hear, “I believe you.”

“Says the woman,” Beron countered, “who gave an innocent girl’s name in her stead — for Amarantha to butcher as well.” You snorted as you bit back the insult that would have rolled off your tongue on any other occasion: Says the coward who beats his wife and kids.

Rhysand and Kallias began to reason with each other, the rest listening intently. Kallias asked questioned and Rhysand gave answers, truthful, real answers. No more masks, no more lies, you were showing your hands, and they were tied. That’s when Rhysand mentioned that Amarantha had held him captive and you really perked up as you sat forward and listened, would he tell them?

That was when Vivian asked the question, “Where did she confine you,” Your breathed hitched, bracing yourself for the terrible truth that would be revealed here, to be criticised and speculated, not in front of a warm fireplace with expensive wine like it should have been. “Her bedroom,” Rhys said. Your family didn't hide their sadness, their utter grief at what Rhys had kept from them.

“Stories and words,” Tamlin drawled, “Is there any proof?” “Proof!?” You choked out, standing from your seat, hand slamming against the table as you readied yourself to tear Beron and new one. “No,” Rhys cut in, reaching an arm out to block you. “But I swear it, on my mate's life,” You slowly sat as Rhys rested his hand again on Feyre's.

Tamlin rolled his eyes but his smugness was short-lived as Kallias pinned Tamlin with a hard stare. “Why are you here, Tamlin?” Tamlin clenched his jaw as he gritted out, “I am here to help you fight against Hybern.” “Bullshit,” Mor and Cassian echoed and you nearly choked on laughter. Tamlin glowered as you settled back into your chair, offering him a small smile.

“You will forgive us,” Thesan interrupted gracefully, “if we are doubtful. And hesitant to share any plans.” “Even when I have information on Hybern’s movements?” Now, you had to give Tamlin where credit was due. That was a pretty good move, but this was chess, and he had long lost his king. Making a mental not on how, Tarquin, besides being the youngest High Lord, watched and listened, you decided that perhaps, he understood that there was some advantage lay in letting them battle it out themselves.

Tamlin smiled at Feyre. “Why do you think I invited them to the house? Into my lands?” He let out a low snarl, and you froze as Tamlin turned and spoke to all of you, “I once told you I would fight against tyranny, against that sort of evil. Did you think you were enough to turn me from that?” His teeth shone white as bone. “It was so easy for you to call me a monster, despite all I did for you, for your family.” A sneer toward Nesta, who was frowning with distaste. “Yet you witnessed all that he did Under the Mountain, and still spread your legs for him. Fitting, I suppose. He whored for Amarantha for decades. Why shouldn’t you be his whore in return?”

“Watch your mouth,” Mor snapped. You wanted to rip his throat right then and there. Tamlin ignored her wholly and waved a hand toward Rhysand’s wings. “I sometimes forget— what you are. Have the masks come off now, or is this another ploy?”

“You’re beginning to become tedious, Tamlin,” Helion said, propping his head on a hand. “Take your lovers’ spat elsewhere and let the rest of us discuss this war.”

“You know what enough!” You finally stood, fully, wings flaring as you banged your fist on the table, sneering at the seven, fully grown males who were all more childish than you were as an actual child. “If you are against Hybern, prove it. Show us something tangible. No beating around the bush, no insults and arguments, we do not have all day so enough is enough! You can mock us all you want, twist the bloody story, but show that you will at least fight for Prythian,” Tamlin quickly shut up as a stack of papers appeared. “Charts,” He said, “All of Hybern's plans, armies, ammunitions, caches of faebane…Everything carefully gleaned these months.”

“And who's to say the information isn't to mislead us,” Helion went on. Happy that you had finally sped up the conversation, you sat back down again. You listened as they droned on with more insults, more arguments, more discussions.

You know when you finally buckle down and get serious, I find that I can really believe that you are only just 40 years younger than me. You nearly yelped at the voice in your head, but as your head shot up Eris grinned. You rolled your eyes. When I made that bargain with you to form that connection, I didn’t make it so you could abuse the link.

How dare you! Such serious allegations? I would never dare misuse such a sacred link between the two of us!!! You rolled your eyes. However, as you noticed how they still argued and insulted each other, you couldn’t help the feeling of melancholy that took over you. What’s wrong, little flame?

It’s just- I wish we could all get along, all learn to look at each other’s perspective, see that we can work together to fight because we all have something to lose, but- You winced as Tamlin spat out that he didn’t want spoiled goods returned to him and had his ability to speak ripped away. A part of you wished that they would see that the Night Court wasn’t so different from the rest.

There was no smile on Rhysand’s face, not a glint of that irreverent amusement as he rested his head against the back of his chair. “The gasping-fish look is a good one for you, Tamlin.” Maybe, you should have been laughing. It just hurt, to see everyone at the table start stealing glances at you in pity or disgust, and as you felt ill to the stomach, you were surprised when the link between you and Eris began to warm, comforting, making your lips curl upwards.

“If you want proof that we are not scheming with Hybern,” Rhysand said blandly to them all, “consider the fact that it would be far less time-consuming to slice into your minds and make you do my bidding.” Only Beron was stupid enough to scoff. Eris was just angling his body in his chair—blocking the path to his mother. “Yet here I am,” Rhysand went on, not deigning to give Beron a glance of acknowledgment. “Here we all are.”

This was when you noticed a small shadow curling around you foot, you turned your head slightly to Az to see him give you a small reassuring smile, one that said that he would always be there for you. Your heart fluttered and warmed once more. you turned back around to keep him from seeing the blood rise to your cheeks, stealing a glance at Eris who now looked, angry. You brushed it off, but when you tried to speak to him through your mental link, your realised he had blocked you out. Odd.

That was when Tarquin cleared his throat. You waited for the words that would have truly doomed you, and he had good reason to. You remembered that you all had gone to his court and deceived him, stolen from him like thieves.

But Tarquin said to Feyre, to your brother, “Despite Varian’s unsanctioned warning ...” A glare at his cousin, who didn’t so much as look sorry about it, “You were the only ones who came to help. The only ones. And yet you asked for nothing in return. Why?” Rhys’s voice was a bit hoarse as he asked, “Isn’t that what friends do?” A subtle, quiet offer. Tarquin took him in. Then Feyre. And the others. “I rescind the blood rubies. Let there be no debts between us.”

“Don’t expect Amren to return hers,” Cassian muttered. “She’s grown attached to it.” You could have sworn a smile tugged on Varian’s mouth. However, your brother turned to Tamlin, “I believe you, that you will fight for Prythian,” Kallias looked like he wanted to disagree, so did Helion. That was when Rhysand loosened his grasp on Tamlin, a low snarl rippling out of him.

“War is upon us, I have no interest in wasting energy arguing amongst ourselves,” Rhysand spoked sombrely. But Beron said, “You may be inclined to believe him, Rhysand, but as someone who shares a border with his court, I am not so easily swayed.” A wry look. “Perhaps my errant son can clarify. Pray, where is he?” Even Tamlin looked toward you all toward Feyre. “Helping to guard our city,” was all she said. Not a lie, not entirely.

Eris snorted and surveyed Nesta, who stared back at him with steel in her face. “Pity you didn’t bring the other sister. I hear our little brother’s mate is quite the beauty.” Shooting him a warning look, you knocked against his mental shields. What the hell was he doing!?

But Mor replied smoothly, “You still certainly like to hear yourself talk, Eris. Good to know some things don’t change over the centuries.” Eris’s mouth curled into a smile at the words, the careful game of pretending that they had not seen each other in years. “Good to know that after five hundred years, you still dress like a slut.”

ERIS VANSERRA WHAT IN THE MOTHER ARE YOU DOING!? you practically screamed down that bridge.

One moment, Azriel had been seated. The next, he’d blasted through Eris’s shield and tackled him backwards, wood shattering beneath them. “Shit,” You swore as you were instantly there, and was met with a blue wall.

Azriel squeezed, Eris thrashing beneath him. No physical brawling, there had been a rule against that, but Azriel, with his shadows… “Enough, Azriel,” Rhys ordered. Perhaps those shadows that now slid and eddied around the shadow singer hid him from the wrath of the binding magic. The others made no move to interfere, as if wondering the same.

Azriel dug his knee—and all his weight—into Eris’s gut. He was silent, utterly silent as he ripped the air from Eris’s body. Beron’s flames struck the blue shield, over and over, but the fire skittered off and fizzled out on the water. Any that escaped were torn to shreds by shadows. Your head eddied out as you approached the two males gently.

Placing a full palm on the shield, you whispered against the shield of blue light, “Azriel, come back to me,” Azriel stopped. As Azriel turned to you slowly, you froze at the rage. Now, I could see the memories that still haunted him. Haunted all of us. Mor was pale, shaking in her chair as Feyre pulled her in for a hug.

“Please, sit,” You motioned to the chair that Nesta had placed next to yours, and as Azriel’s eyes slid from Eris, the shadow singer whispered something that made him blanch. The shield finally dropped, and shadows lighted as Azriel stepped towards you and grasped your outreached hand. However, his eyes remained on Mor, and you couldn’t lie and say that your heart didn’t break just a little.

Beron struck—only for his fire to bounce off a hard barrier of my own. I lifted my gaze to the High Lord of Autumn. “That’s twice now we’ve handed you your asses. I’d think you’d be sick of the humiliation.”

Helion laughed. And you took the opportunity to shoot Eris a hard look. He had explaining to do and he was delusional if he thought that he was going to get away with that particular stunt.

Pouring a glass of wine, you handed it to him before making the bottle vanish, it was some of Rhys’s finest which you had stolen, and Azriel gracefully accepted it. Every raised brows at, curious on how the Lady could help the spy master. “He is my family,” You said firmly, turning to Eris, “And if you insult my friend again I won’t stop him next time,” Eris nodded.

I’m sorry, I went to far. He said against the bridge but you sighed. I’ll deal with you later, Eris.

Mor was staring and staring at Azriel, who refused to look at her now, who refused to do anything but give Eris that death-gaze. Eris, wisely, averted his eyes. And said, “Apologies, Morrigan.” His father actually gawked at the words. But something like approval shone on the Lady of Autumn’s face as her eldest son settled himself once more. That was a start, you just wished that once it was revealed that Eris was secretly your friend the whole thing wouldn’t blow up in your face with your family.

Thesan rubbed his temples. “This does not bode well.” But Helion smirked at his retinue, crossing an ankle over a knee and flashing those powerful, sleek thighs. “Looks like you owe me ten gold marks.” It seemed like you weren’t the only ones who’d placed bets. Even if not one of Helion’s entourage answered his mocking smile with one of their own.

Helion waved a hand, and the stacks of papers Tamlin had compiled drifted over to him on a phantom wind. With a snap of his fingers — scar-flecked from swordplay — other stacks appeared before every chair in the room. Including your own.

“Replicas,” he said without looking up as he leafed through the documents. He had tried to teach you this spell before, you had failed, utterly, but given that at the time you were only 9 it was on him for trying to teach you any magic at all. You had accidentally duplicated a whole couch, which appeared in the space of a huge bookcase, which was then knocked over, books scattered everywhere.

As you all proceeded with the meeting, you began berating Eris over the mental bridge, you went off on him, making sure to still be reasonable, but eventually it turned into how you were stressed and you hated life itself, he winced when you scolded him at first but as you continued to talk about yourself his face morphed into concern, well, not reall, but you could see in his eyes. Azriel happily sipped his wine as you both played footsie under the table, hopping that any sudden movements wouldn’t be noticed.

You weren’t really paying attention anymore, but did as Eris suddenly spoke. “Father.” Beron lifted a brow. “You have something to add?” Eris didn’t flinch, but he seemed to choose his words very, very carefully. “I have seen the effects of faebane.” He nodded toward me. “It truly renders us unable to tap our power. If it’s wielded against us in war or beyond it—”

“If it is, we shall face it. I will not risk my people or family in testing out a theory.”

“It is no theory,” Nuan said, that mechanical hand clicking and whirring as it curled into a fist. “I would not stand here unless it had been proved without a doubt.” A female of pride and hard work. Eris said, “I will take it.”

You whipped your head around, eyes flashing with worry. This way, you don’t need to be concerned over allies, I can convince my father of this working, little flame. You sighed. There’s no stopping you is there? He smirked. Consider it a self-punishment, little flame.

Beron studied his own son with a scrutiny that made me pray to the mother that Eris would not get himself beaten once more. You had had enough of him coming to you in the forest with scars. It hurt every time to see him that way. But Beron also said, “No you will not. Though I’m sure your brothers will be sorry to hear it.” Indeed, the others seemed rather put-out that their first barrier to the throne wasn’t about to risk his life in testing the tinker’s solution

I am so taking it secretly. You blincked at him. No you will not, are you crazy!? You almost yelled. Nope, but you are taking it, so I’m taking it.

As Tamlin ‘explained’ — more like all out complained — about his situation. Beron tried to say that he had no room for the running villagers. That was when Vivian piped up once more.

“Right,” Viviane said, “because everyone’s too busy polishing every jewel in that trove of yours.” Beron threw her a glare that had Kallias tensing. “Wives were invited as a courtesy, not as consultants.”

Viviane’s sapphire eyes flared as if struck by lightning. “If this war goes poorly, we’ll be bleeding out right alongside you, so I think we damn well get a say in things.” “Hybern will do far worse things than kill you,” Beron counted coolly. “A young, pretty thing like you especially.” Kallias’s snarl rippled the water in the reflection pool, echoed by you and Mor’s own growl.

Beron smiled a bit. “Only three of us were present for the last war.” A nod to Rhys and Helion, whose face darkened. “One does not easily forget what Hybern and the Loyalists did to captured females in their war-camps. What they reserved for High Fae females who either fought for the humans or had families who did.” He put a heavy hand on his wife’s too-thin arm. “Her two sisters bought her time to run when Hybern’s forces ambushed their lands. The two ladies did not walk out of that war-camp again.” You shuddered at the memory. You had only been born after the first war, but I remembered the horrors that were described.

When your father died you had been barely 10 years old. And even then he never failed to tell you that if you had been alive during the first war, men would see you as someone to use and discard as a form of warning. Your stomach churned to think about it, but you stopped short when Azriel’s hand came into contact with yours, holding it gently. His soothing presence helped you relax into your chair.

Eventually it descended into the arguments again. You refused to pay attention. Everyone was giving you a headache and it was all overwhelming. You watched silently as Feyre tried to kill Beron, watched even as others yelled and screamed, even as Eris began to tell you to help down that mental bridge. You just couldn’t.

It wasn’t until Nesta stood and spoke her piece was the meeting finally over, Eris tossing a look over his shoulder as he saw your empty expression. He mentally told you that he would send you a letter. But you couldn’t bring yourself to respond.

Not now anyways.

But as I stared at Eris, into his warm amber eyes, as I felt myself squeeze the scarred hand that intertwined with mine, my heart warmed and my blood went cold as I realised….cauldron help me, I was in love with the shadow singer and the High Lord’s son.

Well shit.

~*~*~*~*~

A/N: I feel like this was partially self-indulgent. The first few parts of this series is very self indulgent :D. I hope you all liked it though, I really did work hard....worked very hard. Worked so hard dreaming about Azriel and Eris fighting over me :)

taglist: @positivewitch @bubybubsters @a-frog-with-a-laptop @artof-aristocracy

#acotar #acotar fandom #acosf #azriel shadowsinger #a court of silver flames #a court of mist and fury #azriel #azriel x reader #rhysand #eris vanserra angst #eris vanserra x reader #eris vanserra #eris acotar #azriel angst #eris x reader #autumn court

176 notes · View notes

surftrips · 2 years

Text

don't be a stranger

pairing: jj maybank x reader

summary: y/n begins dating her boyfriend, not knowing that she would lose her best friend in the process.

word count: 1427

warnings: none, just angst as usual (but a happy ending!)

You began dating your boyfriend a few months ago. He was a great guy. Funny, handsome, and caring, he checked off all of the boxes of an ideal boyfriend. You were happy for once.

Unfortunately, you didn't know that having a boyfriend would mean losing your best friend in the process.

Ever since you began seeing your boyfriend, JJ started distancing himself from you. Not from the other Pogues either, just you.

It broke your heart to see him getting further away from you, but did you not deserve to be happy? You didn't understand why JJ was making you choose between your happiness and his.

But maybe it was because in another world, JJ would have been the one for you. You wanted to go back in time to August, your shirt stained with red wine from laughing too hard with him, sitting by the campfire nestled safely in his arms.

You were his best girl and he always made sure you knew that. "Just wanted to see my best girl," or "What are you up to, sunshine?"

You missed that the most. Your friendship with JJ often crossed the lines between platonic and romantic, but you didn't mind. It was like you and JJ existed in this grey area, both of you afraid to make a move but content with where you were.

You thought you had forever together to figure it out.

Then you met your boyfriend, and your conversations with JJ went from "I'm picking you up after work today," to "You don't pay attention to me anymore!"

"Because, JJ! Every time I try to get close to you now, you always pull away from me. We never hang out unless it's with the Pogues, you're always in a bad mood around me, god you won't even hug me anymore!" you had shouted at him.

Then, having regretted being so harsh, you said "I don't want things to be different between us just because I'm seeing someone."

"But how can they not be?" he responded. "Nothing ever feels right anymore."

You sighed. "I don't know what to tell you, JJ. You're my best friend, and you always will be. But I can't do this right now. You know it's not possible for us to be like the way we were before."

That was the last time you talked to him. Weeks ago. It was the longest you had ever gone without any contact from him. It was like you two were strangers again.

How did you get here?

You still loved your boyfriend, but you would be lying if you said the angst between you and JJ hadn't caused a rift in your relationship. Each time you laughed, you felt a part of yourself wish that JJ was here with you. That he was the one making you laugh.

When your boyfriend called you his girl, you almost frowned because JJ would call you his best girl until you realized that those days were long gone now.

You tried your best to hide your sadness around your boyfriend, it was something you were good at, hiding your emotions. The only person in your life that could clock you was JJ, of course.

He knew when you were mad you got passive aggressive, when you were frustrated you would cry, when you hated someone you would be extra nice to them. He could read you like a book.

Which is why you never picked up his phone calls. You knew that as soon as you tried to speak, he would know something was wrong. You wanted to believe that you were fine, that you and your boyfriend were fine, but the thought of JJ kept you up at night.

You told yourself you would never be the kind of girl that let their boyfriends take over their lives, let them drift apart from their friends. But JJ wasn't just a friend. You knew that. He knew that. You both were so caught up in whatever weird limbo you were in between friends and lovers that you almost didn't realize you had left JJ behind.

You didn't know how much longer you could be with your boyfriend. You adored him, but he just wasn't JJ. He wasn't your best friend. He wasn't the one that made you laugh the hardest or knew all your secrets. No, that was someone else.

How could you tell your boyfriend that you were starting to hate who you've become? How you wanted to go back to how life was before you ever met him?

You usually went to JJ for advice, but what were you going to say? Hey, how do I break up with my boyfriend because I realized that I am actually in love with you?

At the same time, it would be nice to hear his voice. The one that always managed to calm you down, but at the moment terrified you. You knew that he had been leaving phone calls here and there, so you decided to check your voicemail, not expecting very much.

You were surprised to see that you had not one or two, but several voicemails. All from him.

Some were just a few seconds, the longer ones were two minutes. You hit play on the most recent one, from a few days ago.

"Hey Y/N. It's JJ... I don't know if you're listening to these, but I just wanted to let you know that we're fine. I'm sorry, I was being selfish before but I decided that what I want isn't worth losing you for. I just want my best friend back. That's all."

Suddenly you couldn't hold it in anymore. You let out the sobs you've been holding in for the past few months, not caring if your boyfriend in the next room could hear or not.

—

It had been a week since you broke up with your boyfriend. Meaning that you had been sitting alone in your room trying to work up the courage to call JJ back for seven days.

All throughout this, your friends Kie and Sarah have been extremely supportive. They knew that what you and JJ had was special, and really, they just wanted the Pogues to be back together again. Ever since you left, JJ had become a shell of himself.

"I just feel awful about everything, what if he doesn't want to talk to me?" you were saying to the girls.

"Then he wouldn't have called you. All the voicemails on your phone are from him," Sarah said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, why would he leave all those messages if he didn't want to talk?" Kie added.

You knew they were right. You picked up your phone and shooed your friends out of your room.

He picked up almost immediately, his voice on the other line startling you. "Y/N?" he said.

"Hey, J. It's nice to hear your voice."

"Yours too." A beat. Then, "Why are you calling? Did something happen?"

"We used to call all the time, not just when something happens," you tried to hide the hurt in your voice, "But yeah, me and him broke up."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Y/N, what happened? He didn't hurt you, did he?" The concern in his voice causing tears to sting your eyes.

"No, no, nothing like that. I actually broke up with him."

"Oh. Pretty boy wasn't good enough for you?" You almost smiled, relieved to see that you were on bantering terms again.

"No, he just wasn't you, JJ." There it was, the truth.

You heard him take a deep breath on the other side, and then there was silence. You had been waiting weeks to confess your feelings for him, and you couldn't take it any longer.

"Please say something, JJ."

"Where are you right now?"

"I'm at home."

"Stay there, I'm coming over."

You looked outside your window. "Wait- it's raining pretty bad. You could get sick. How are you going to get here?"

"Y/N, I have been lying in bed for the past month beating myself up for not running over there and telling you how I feel. If you think this rain is going to stop me, then you've severely underestimated my love for you."

"You- you love me?"

"I thought that was clear by now." It was, but it was something else to hear him say it aloud.

"I love you too, JJ."

"Great, I'm glad we've established that. Now do I have your permission to run into the rain so I can see my best girl?"

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj x reader #jj maybank imagine #obx #outer banks #obx x reader #obx imagine #rudy pankow #rudy pankow x reader #jj maybank x you

1K notes · View notes

smileyerim · 2 years

Text

half baked stories: want you back

exes to lovers mark, angsty with a hopeful ending, mentions of sex, drinking, and not feeling like you’re enough for someone. part of a larger story I’ll finish one day.

Yerim leans in to whisper in your ear. “If you’re not fucking him, someone will.”

You shoot back to give her a look in her spaced out eyes.

“Who?” You say and she leans back in.

“Look at Mina.” She says, leaning back, raising an eyebrow and you and walking away back to Jeno’s side.

As much of an idiot as you are, you’re not too stupid to know what’s happening here, as he lays a gentle hand on her forearm and leans on to whisper in her ear. Telling by her giggle, he just said something charming.

This was a bad idea, you think. Allowing him to come, letting him stay in your bed with you, falling for him again over these last 4 days. He’s not yours, you don’t have any right to he upset about his shameless flirting with a friend of a friend. Doesn’t change that it hurts.

So you drink. You order two more house tequila shots, and one more vodka red bull.

You’re at the bar trying to get the bartenders attention when Mark stumbles up to you, clearly extremely drunk and holding onto Mina’s hand.

Fingers intertwined with hers, you can’t keep your eyes off it as he bumps your shoulder, slamming you a bit into the bar by your own drunkenness.

“Woah!” Mark giggles and exclaims, Mina’s laughing, slapping his shoulder and scolding him for hitting you.

“Sorry, but dude, listen,” he places a hand on your shoulder, standing far too close for comfort, you push slightly at his waist to get him to move away from you a bit.

“Mina has a pet frog, how cool is that!” He says and you raise an eyebrow at him.

“Very cool, Mark.” You say, turning your attention back to the bartender.

“I’m gonna-“ he stumbles standing still again.

“I’m gonna go meet the frog. So don’t worry about me, okay?” and you don’t even have time to react before Mina’s pulling him away by his hand.

“Hey, Y/N! Where’s Mark?” Yerim stumbles up, less drunk than you are but definitely feeling it by the way she’s gripped Jeno’s arm enough to make him wince while trying to catch herself about to fall.

You manage the most passive aggressive shrug your body can manage for feeling so sloppy, “fucking Mina’s frog.”

That seems to sober Yerim up a bit, “excuse me?” She says, and Jeno let’s out a big hearty laugh.

“Try again,” Jeno, always patient, asks you, coming behind Yerim and planting her forearms on the table in front of her in a futile attempt to stabilize her swaying as she just grabs his arms and wraps them around herself, making him sway with her.

“Fucking Mina.” You say, exasperated and scoffing as your fingers begin to dance on the rim of your now empty glass.

“Oh! Oh, my God you said he was fucking the frog.” Yerim yelps out, loud enough to catch the attention of the table next to you and if you were any less intoxicated, you’d have the brain cells to be embarrassed. But now all you do is lay your head down on the table, taking a moment to adjust to the spinning feeling with the change, and mutter out an “I think that would hurt me less.”

—

After a very long car ride of willing away your nausea and trying not to cry about Mark, you finally arrive home. It’s not long after your front door slams behind you your jeans and the top you wore just so Mark would think you’re pretty are gone. You have enough sense to take 4 advil before stumbling into your room and falling face down on your sheets.

To your surprise, your sheets screamed.

“Ow, fuck, Y/N.” Mark scolds with a giggle and turns over to face you. The second he does and sees your bare body his eyes widen and he flips back over again with the most amount of speed.

Great, you think, rejected twice in one night. And you weren’t even trying to seduce him this time, he’s just that much not into you anymore.

“Shit, you’re not wearing any clothes.” He whispers and you giggle in return.

“Never been a problem before” you mumble, wiggling until you’re under the duvet with him.

“Its sort of a problem now, Y/N.” And that makes you frown, an old, deep pain behind your sternum sinks as you reply.

“Why, your new frog fucker girlfriend wouldn’t like it?” You bite, but your voice has never sounded more pained in your whole life.

“What?” His voice cracks, confused he flips over again.

“Mina?” You say, pulling up the duvet a little higher on your shoulders to cover yourself most as you make eye contact with him. “You were flirting with her all night.” You take a pause to blink and lick your lips as a knowing expression calmed the crease between his eyebrows, “I’m your ex girlfriend, the girl you just slept with would probably be pretty mad to see you sharing a bed with me.” And at that the frown is back. Tears well in your eyes as you look at each other for a few extra moments.

He doesn’t say much else, just continuing to look at you. You don’t know what to do, so you continue to speak. “Which I get it, I guess. You can do what you want. I’m not supposed to be jealous or sad about that, I’m actually happy you did sleep with someone else. Probably selfish, but it’ll help me get over you faster to know you’ve moved on.” A tear falls from your eye.

“That even though I’m right here, you want someone else.” You whisper as quietly as you can, eyes finally leaving his to stare at your ceiling before rolling over onto your side, hiding your face in the duvet.

You’re trying so hard to quiet your choking sobs, expecting to feel Mark move out of your bed soon so you can let it all out.

But he doesn’t leave, and you feel his cold fingertips grazing your bicep, wrapping around it and tugging lightly to try and get you to flip back over.

“Come on, Y/N, look at me.” He whispers and you shake your head no.

“Please.” He tugs once more, a little more forceful and it does work this time, your back making contact with his forearm placed strategically in your way, him holding you in an awkward cuddle as you make eye contact with him again.

“Is that really what you think I feel?” He says, eyes pleading and the gentle movement of his middle fingertip making slow, barely there circles on the side of your face makes you want to cry again.

“Yes.” You croak out, honesty being your only option with the intimacy of the moment.

“I don’t want Mina.” He whispers after a couple of moments, pupils dilated and heart pounding. You don’t react, just staring at him, waiting for him to continue.

“I- I’ve only wanted you.” He says, arm moving down to cage your bare stomach.

“But-“ you begin, but he interrupts you.

“Fuck, I know we’re both drunk right now, but can I— can I show you? Can I show you what I feel?” He says, and although you’ve never felt more sober in your life than this moment, you nod right before he leans down and presses the sweetest of kisses onto your lips.

534 notes · View notes

katberk · 2 years

Text

The Imaginary Friend P2

Eddie Munson x fem! Reader

(2/2)

Soulmate au - Imaginary Friend

Summary - Y/N isn’t happy that Jason interrupted her conversation with her soulmate, she gets violent with a lunch tray

Warning: Bad punctuation and grammar, and POV changes a lot from 3rd to Eddie’s so bare that in mind :)

“Is this freak bothering you?!”

That voice belonged to the blonde haired boy with the terrible threat. He just decided to come up and interrupt the conversation that was right in front of him. His eyes were narrowed and his jaw was clenched.

“No, not at all actually!” Y/N started up. “If you didn’t see with your eyes that I walked up here myself you would of known already!” Her passive aggressive tone went through the jock’s ears and straight to the floor when he just kept on talking telling her that his name was “Jason”and if “I didn’t see who I was taking to!”

His whole existence was making her blood boil. Shaking her head she turned to Eddie once more and continued. “Hi! Yeah, you’re just super familiar and I wanted to talk.”

Eddie’s smile just couldn’t be wiped off his face. Even with Jason who was still behind the girl that made his heart beat faster than normal, mocking him, his attention was only on her.

“Come on Ed’s! Cheer up, you’ll graduate next year.” The girl next to me said throwing her arms up and around my neck. “And look on the bright side! I’ll be closer to being a senior so maybe we can graduate together!”

“Y/N it’s not that simple! I should be out of the shit hole, not spend another grueling year trying again.” My shoulders started to shake as tears formed in my eyes. “So I can get away from Hawkins and find you… I just want to find you.”

Her shushes and whispers swam around the room. Her hands rubbing my back, breath on my neck, and her words in my ear. “Please don’t cry Ed’s. This isn’t the worst outcome.” Her pointer and middle tapped my chin softly. “Look at me Eddie-bear.”

Eddie-bear. The nickname that I always loved to hear.

“We’ll find each other. Maybe not this year, but soon. I can feel it!” Her body started to become transparent. “For now, I’m happy being your imaginary friend.”

And with one last smile, she was gone

“Is he dead?!” Dustin’s voice cut Eddie’s concentration.

Getting back to reality Eddie noticed that the lunch room was quite. Dead quite. Standing up a little his eyes laid on Jason Carver on the floor not moving. Moving his eyes to his right was Y/N, the new girl at Hawkins, with an empty lunch tray that was probably Gareth’s in a vice grip turning her knuckles white. She was standing over the jock with a shocked but enraged expression.

“Hey Eddie, I think she killed him… he’s not moving!” Dustin leaned over to the metalhead that had his mouth agape.

The tray made a clattering sound when it hit the floor and Y/N started to become antsy. Everyone was looking at her with either shock, happiness, or death, and she did not want to stick around for the latter. Making eye contact with her astonished other half she grabbed his arm and ran out the double doors tripping slightly on the way out.

“You’re a little off Ed’s.”

Glancing up at Y/N I gave a slight tilt of my head. “What do you mean?”

“You just did an E-flat, it’s suppose to be a B-flat.” She corrected not looking up from the magazine on her lap.

“No it’s supposed to be an E-flat.” Strumming the guitar to prove my point she finally looked up and shook her head.

Pointing her freshly black painted nails at the music sheet she smirked. “Ed’s it clearly says B-flat…”

“Shit…” Hiding my face in embarrassment I placed my guitar back on the wall and splayed out on the bed. “You’re right!”

“You have to attention!”

“How can I when you distract me Angel?”

That caused her to laugh, and that laugh caused me to smile.

The two ran until the bench was seen. “Okay! So maybe I went a little bit overboard.” Huffing Y/N tilted her head to peer at Eddie’s face hoping for a good reaction.

“Overboard?! Angel you whacked Jason Carver with a lunch tray so hard people thought he died on impact! That’s fucking badass!” Eddie beamed pacing the leafy ground while Y/N started to sit on the wooden bench.

“I mean, he was talking shit about you.” She mumbled sighing when Eddie stopped his movements. “He was talking all this crap about you being this leader to a giant satanic cult and how freaks shouldn’t be around me…”

“Well, yeah, that’s Hawkins high. I’m Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson!” He gave a little bow and crooked smile.

“You never told me how bad it got. You always said you were doing good, that I didn’t need to worry.” Y/N said placing her cheek on her left knee. Eddie made his way over and sat next to her coping the position she was in.

“Angel, I told you that because it was true. You never had or needed to worry about me, and I was doing good. You made my days good.” He placed his free hand on the girl’s head rubbing the baby hairs out of her face. “Having you there with me after every shitty day made me forget and enjoy the rest.”

Scooting closer Y/N placed her head on Eddie’s shoulder. “I’m so glad I found you Eddie-bear.”

Smiling and lying his own head on hers he closed his eyes and replied. “And I m’lady Angel am too!”

And with that the two halves became a whole on the wooden bench that very day.

Imaginary friends that became reality.

⭐️Tag list⭐️

@grungegrrrl

@tpwkstiles

@fangirling-4-ever

@marianita195

#stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfics #stranger things soulmate au #stranger things soulmate #soulmate #soulmate au #eddie munson #eddie munson x fem! reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x reader soulmate #eddie munson x reader soulmate au #eddie munson x y/n

144 notes · View notes

bitebitesnap · 5 months

Text

Unsure (Emmet/Reader)

He wasn't sure exactly when he cared.

He wasn't the type for romance. The warmth in his chest, the need to touch and hold, the craving for closeness-nonsense. He wasn't a child, he didn't need to be coddled or soothed by anyone. Not even his brother could offer his condolences if something so much as bothered him slightly.

No, he was Emmet. He was a Subway Boss, a title made for them. He didn;t need this fluffy feeling everyone spoke so highly about. He was a grown man with enough Joltiks to take down a nation- regardless of his twin saying it was not.

So then why……why did he let you in? Why did he let you sit so closely, touch him so carelessly? At any other point he would have slapped away hands that dared to so much as hover near him. Sure, it wasn't uncommon for young children to be curious of the skirt of his coat-to which he would allow such a small grievance for only them-but anyone else was swiftly knocked away. Grease was hard to get out of the leather whenever Galvantula dropped the rare treat onto it, let alone whatever diseases humans tracked around daily.

Yet…you. You, a trainer who'd gotten so close. Too close. It drove him mad how you allowed your pokemon to shed all over you, track filthy prints all over your clothes and subsequently your hands. He hated how it would inevitably find it;s way onto him and he'd be forced to clean everything on his person yet again.

And still he let you come back. Allowed you to snuggle close, tucked underneath his arm even, bowl of overly buttered popcorn in your lap. Choked down the cringe by widening his smile until it hurt as you licked off the excess butter on your fingers to pinch his pristine (Freshly washed! Clean! Now it's not!) dress shirt between your fingers to catch his attention and point out something in the movie he'd long stopped watching.

He should tell you off. Pull his arm away, scoot back into the other side of the couch entirely so that your dirty hand stops touching him. Get a lint brush and scrape off all the fur on your pants (That you promised were clean! Liar!) and tell you to get out.

And yet….he doesn't. Can't. Won't.

If he lifted his arm off your shoulders, you'd look up, so much smaller than him. When he'd shuffle out of your reach, you'd pout at him. And if he dared so much as whisper about the hair you were getting onto his couch (technically, his and Ingo's couch, as it was shared), mumble a syllable about you leaving now, that he wanted out of this whatever-it-was between you.

You would cry.

And he cannot, will not, make you cry.

So he bites the comments back. The harsh words, the bitter jabs, the passive aggressive backhands. Lets you snuggle back into his side, stoutly ignoring the light discoloration on his sleeve as you pull the bowl back in place on your lap. Forces his eyes to not see a mess waiting to happen.

Instead he sees you, the Galarian Rapidash of Unova strong enough to tell him to shut up. Who beat his line three times consecutively, with each being more frustrating than the last. Forcing him to acknowledge you, talk to you without the professional air to instead snark at how ridiculously your team was made, bite his tongue at your cheeky reply on how it worked anyways.

You who gave him time. Let him decide what he wanted with you, how to deal with whatever made his heart beat like a Lopbunny's gait. Bit back when he was too snippy, carefully approached the topic of dating when he was too scared to.

So he'd let you get away with a little mess. Cheese was easier to clean out of leather anyways, much more than it was to deal with him. For now.

But if you grabbed his shirt again he was going to smack your hand away, tears or not.

#something I did on a whim and finished in 2 days #funny how that works #subway boss emmet #the bite writes

12 notes · View notes

chiroptaro · 1 year

Text

I WANT THE BATS TO LAUGH MORE LET THEM HAVE JOKES!! LET THEM HAVE FUN!!!!

bruce's laugh has changed over the years. as a kid it was a frequent joyful laugh. he didn't laugh again till he got dick, and then it was a quiet chuckle. with jason it was less often, but still happened. he didnt laugh for a long time after jason. now he just smiles softly at his kids when he thinks theyre funny <3

batman has a wry little smirk that infuriates soo many people

brucie is always laughing loud, but others don't really pay attention to it except for eye rolls or a dirty look. at best a fake little titter and a hand on his arm. he just keeps laughing anyway

dick would giggle. like no doubt any age this guy is giggling.

jason has a full throw-your-head-back clutch-your-stomach belly laugh that has him panting afterwards (...don't think about how the first time he laughs like this again he stops out of breath and rubs his face with a palm and looks a little sad. don't think about how that first laugh isn't in front of the bats. and how it takes him years to laugh in front of them. and when he does at least one of them starts crying. dont think about it) anyways

cass has a snorting laugh argue with a brick wall she means everything to me

tim has a "ha!" idc how else to explain it its just ha! funny! but not in a passive aggressive way

steph has a loud contagious laugh that makes other people look over and smile even if they have no idea why she's laughing

damian visibly tries to hide a smile when he finds something genuinely funny. maybe he covers his mouth with his hand maybe he just twists his mouth up but everyone can tell he's smiling

duke has a silent laugh. perhaps a squeaky one. but his laugh always includes a huge smile stretching his cheeks

#xixi rants #i am not tagging all of them pls #batman #batfam #bat family #bat fam #batfamily #idk the common tag for them #batgang #???#omg a hit tweet

56 notes · View notes

rainbownixie · 2 years

Note

since the script still isn't here and i'm going insane, i have returned to pester you some more.

i would like to know your most angsty mike and/or byler fic ideas or headcanons

sorry for the late reply i've been too tired lately to check the inbox!!! but now i'm here with some angsty ideas </3

will gifted mike a set of dice to play dnd and he never stopped using them! they were one of his most precious objects! but when the byers move to cali, mike can't even look at them and has to buy another set. when he plays it's never the same but refuses to use will's dice again. it's not worth it if will isn't there playing with him.

(sorry to everyone who likes ted i personally don't so) i imagine ted making passive aggressive homophobic comments such as "everyone chooses their own lifestyle but i don't think queers should be allowed to act like that on the streets", "mike be careful who you're friends with", "violence is not great but hey, what did they expect looking like that?" etc etc etc and mike would hear all of that on a daily basis. so ofc he would start thinking being gay is wrong. (it's okay nancy always argues with ted about it and defends mike without even knowing she's defending HIM)

mike now hates rain because it reminds him of that fight with will. it makes him anxious and instantly sad so whenever it rains he doesn't get out of his room.

mike has a secret diary but it's mostly written in a fantasy/novel way to express his deepest secrets. one day he realizes that most of the pages are basically poems about will and just after the byers move to cali he rips off the pages out of frustration and crying. he then hides them under his bed.

oh, mike definitely has self image issues and is very very insecure about his face and body (bullying does stuff to you) and often avoids mirrors (i hate that because he's so damn pretty but i don't think he sees himself that way)

mike actually wants to spend more time with nancy and admires her a lot but doesn't know how to reach out to her. he feels stupid and childish for wanting to go back to when they were kids, but he misses the time where nancy paid more attention to him.

(i love adhd mike btw) he gets overwhelmed when there's too much noise because he basically can't think or talk or process any information and that's why he sometimes seems mean. he isn't, he's just frustrated and wants to cry. same thing when he has too many thoughts and struggles to express himself.

mike doesn't let himself cry even when there's nobody around because it makes him feel weak. that's why when he's sad he often avoids seeing karen because seeing his mom only makes him want to hug her and cry.

(not really angsty byler but angst related to byler ig?) mike used to go to the byers house to play with will when they were kids and once he saw how lonnie treated them he started insisting on always hanging out at his house. will only told mike about what his father did and made him promise to not tell everyone. mike was just furious.

mike has a lot of nightmares about bullying and everything upside down related. he wakes up shaking and crying and only wants to call will and hear his voice. but then he remembers it's late and that he also struggles with sleeping so he just looks at his drawings.

i know he looks like he has rocks for a brain it he's actually an overthinker and spends hours assuming that everyone hates him.

i would've written more stuff but!!! idk brain doesn't work today ig??? no thoughts head empty moment tbh- hope you liked these tho!!! <33

#god i love mike so much #angsty mike my beloved i want to hug you i need to hug you #let me hug mike wheeler please #byler #mike wheeler

64 notes · View notes

chaotic-kitty · 2 years

Text

For The Love Of Gods: M6 React To MC Being Insulted

Warnings: Features themes of bullying and conflict

Hi! This was a request from my insta. Not gonna lie, this one i found a little difficult to write. It does feature insults and arguments or at least conflict. So if you find that triggering, please be careful. <3 Hope you like it. Sorry if there is any mistakes.💕

Scenario: The MC is hanging out in Eonia socialising with the other deities while hanging out with the group when another deity insults them:

“Deity of Love huh? Ya know, Aurelia and Astrellio being the deities of what they are makes sense, the sun and the moon are important. Eeri and Vidas? They’re smart and logical, that’s helpful and makes sense. Leonidas is the God of Stamina, that’s handy and a worthy title. Calysta is the Goddess of Strength, she’s the strongest being, both physically and mentally, in the universe. She has purpose. But a Deity of Love? What’s the point? It seems like a waste. What are you even good for? I’ve never questioned The Fates before, until now.”

When he hears what that deity just said, he is furious!

And when he looks over and sees you upset, it breaks his heart.

He immediately swings an arm around your waist to get you to face him, and he checks you over.

Then he turns his attention to the deity in question and glares at them.

He starts telling them off.

Saying that they are in the wrong, and who are they to question The Fates.

They bring up all the good you’ve done in your short time there and about how you earned your way here. Just like everyone else.

As Astrellio gets more worked up, his powers start to cause the moon to announce itself in the sky, again.

Eventually his and Aurelia’s powers start clashing, causing an eclipse and a horrid storm.

They end up being separated from the deity as you try to calm them down.

He just hates that they hurt you like that.

For the rest of the day he will keep an eye on you, making sure you’re okay.

Will glare at the deity whenever they are around after that, even if they apologise. He is very good at holding grudges.

As soon as the words leave the deities mouth, she gasps out of pure shock!

How dare they say something like that? Especially to the person she loves!

Is so furious that her powers start causing everything to get uncomfortably bright and hot.

She turns her full attention to them as she starts asking why they had just said that. What gave them the right to say that. Ect.

Starts saying about how hard you had worked to stay here and become a deity.

Her control over her powers lessen, and the sun starts to flare brighter and brighter.

Her powers clash with Astrellio’s, causing another eclipse and storm.

Aurelia, along with Astrellio, is separated from the deity as you calm them down.

Is upset at herself for losing control again. She just got so angry about what they said to you.

Might actually start crying a little. Just give her a hug and reassure her that you’re okay, please.

After she’s calmed down, she wont leave your side for the rest of the day.

If they end up apologising, and you accept the apology, she will try to acknowledge that and move on from the whole thing.

Is stunned at first. They were not expecting that.

Eeri doesn’t like conflict. And while they may struggle to defend themselves, they don’t think twice about defending you.

They are honestly baffled as to why someone would insult you like that! Especially another deity.

Will also start going off on them, albeit not as loud.

They fire carefully crafted questions at them regarding why they insulted you.

They also get a little passive aggressive as they drop some insults on them.

Eventually, they come over to check on you.

Aurelia and Astrellio’s powers end up going berserk again. So they help in separating them from the deity.

Won’t bring up the situation until a little later, once everything has settled down.

They will ask if you’re okay and if you want to talk about it.

Will give you cuddles and tell you that the deity was wrong. And about just how great you are.

Will be a little passive aggressive to the deity when they cross paths. If an apology is given and accepted, they’ll drop it.

They always have a good grasp of what is to be expected in any given situation. However, they did not expect another member of the pantheon to insult you.

They are upset that a person, deity of Eonia no less, would insult someone like that. And they are angry that that person insulted you, and made you upset.

They end up firing off a few witty insults at them as they call them out.

They will also list all of your wonderful qualities, and tell them exactly why you are worthy of your place in Eonia.

(Unlike them)

After they say their part, they go over and check on you, completely ignoring the deity.

Will help seperate Astrellio and Aurelia after their powers inevitably go berserk.

Spends some time with you in the gardens that night.

While you’re there, they check in with you to see how you’re feeling.

Reassures you that you are an amazing Deity Of Love, and that you earned your place in the Pantheon.

Will ignore the deity if they ever see them. If they apologise and you accept, they’ll still be a little hostile and snarky to them for a bit.

Will take you into her arms (after Astrellio lets you go).

They check you over and ask if you are okay.

They hold you in their arms as they watch the others go off on the deity.

It’s not that they don’t want to speak up for you, but rather they want to wait until it has died down a little.

They try to keep you calm as they comfort you.

As Astrellio and Aurelia’s powers start going berserk, she lets you go and helps diffuse the situation.

She also asks later how you’re doing. And offers affection and reassurance.

A few days after the incident, she confronts the deity that insulted you.

She gets them to explain what had happened, why they insulted you, ect.

After a long chat (in which she does defend you) she gets the deity to go and apologise to you.

Goes over to you and Calysta, and places a comforting hand on your back/shoulder.

He can see that his friends are already handling the situation, so he instead stays with you.

He will also try to calm you down. Seeing you upset makes him upset.

He knew that some of the others weren’t as nice and welcoming but, he didn’t think someone would actually go as far to insult you. And definitely not like that.

As Astrellio and Aurelia’s powers start going berserk again, it causes a sudden eclipse as rain and wind start coming full force.

Leo ends up escorting the deity away from all of you to try and diffuse the situation.

He asks them calmly why the said that. And sticks up for you.

He doesn’t tolerate bullies.

After he’ll go and find you again.

Takes you to go get some food. Over the meal, he will just check on you and see how you’re doing.

Will offer you anything you want to feel better.

Whether the deity apologises and you except or not, he’ll still be a little on guard when they are around. More so if you’re there too.

23 notes · View notes

lunarmote · 2 years

Text

My Favorite Films: Tokyo Story (1953)

The following review might contain spoilers.

This is an example of the kind of low-concept film I love, a kind of melancholic bundle in which not much and yet everything is said, conveyed through the soulful gaze of an old man resigned to his fate.

A cinematography documentary brought to my attention Ozu’s style: Rather than shoot characters in dialogue in profile so that their eye levels “match” across frames - giving continuity across space - Ozu chooses to shoot the characters in front view. What often happens is he cuts to the character’s side profile as they’re contemplating something then they turn towards the camera, smile in a perfunctory way, and depending on the character, conveys additional emotion through their eyes.

This was jarring to me at first, a bit akin to a 4th wall break in a movie that I felt was going for the opposite of that intended effect (self-referentiality, bringing the viewer in). Contrary to that, I felt like a voyeur. I feel as if Ozu arranged all the elements in the set so harmoniously that this was one specific family and yet, the roles the characters played were universal, which is why I think the movie was so moving for people. I found myself crying at the end whenever we cut to the grandfather.

The film is quite elliptical. On the surface, it’s “tell, not show;” events like travel are alluded to but we never see our characters moving from one scene to another. Yet everything is conveyed through subtle movements, pauses, and facial expressions. Ozu frames all these extraneous elements out and we’re left with the characters present in their spaces, acting out their formalities.

There is really no “main character” in the conventional sense, but I feel as if we’re following the perspective of the grandfather. Perhaps it’s my projection, as I grew incredibly fond of the character. I couldn’t stop crying at the end whenever the camera cut to him - at his quiet resolution and acceptance, at his longing. His simple remarks about the heat or the length of the day are not to be taken as is but are another case of ellipticity - how long the subjective perception of time must be to an individual who has lost connections to the ones he loves. Everyone knows there are still 24 hours in a day, but only the grandfather is condemned to endure this mundane, futile reality, for years and years…

I emphasize again the futility of putting this to words because it’s something everyone in the film is aware of. There is no one to blame here; the adult children have their responsibilities and their passive-aggression is valid, in select cases (e.g. Shige, the eldest daughter, berating their father for getting drunk like he used to in her youth). But it’s one of the cases where it’s just so tragic and you wish one person would budge a bit and another would, or they could spontaneously muster up the desire to open up to one another.

My headcanon is that the grandmother died of heartbreak because she perceived this unreconcilable reality - that she and the grandfather longed for something that could not be given, that was not the fault of any individual. But I think the light in her life was that final conversation with Noriko, the widow of her second son. The blessing she gives to Noriko to remarry and that brief break in composure that Noriko displays - one of the single breaks in formality in the film. I’d like to think that the grandmother died remembering that conversation.

#film class #movie review #film review #tokyo story #yasujiro ozu

3 notes · View notes

pepperonibread · 26 days

Text

confessions or complaining - you decide!!!

I am constantly in pain, and whether it is from my mind or something actually being wrong, I have no idea. Perhaps the two are the same. Regardless, if I were to assign a score on a scale of one to ten for the amount of agony in any given hour, the number would never fall lower than a three.

I am constantly being examined, scrutinized by my peers for something that I cannot control. At least, I would assume I can't control it. It must be my mind at fault, fearing the worst - like I've entered some kind of morality battle that I have already accepted I cannot win. I haven't got the will, energy, drive or inspiration. The amount of energy it would take is exponentially more than the rest of my week combined. Every time my phone buzzes, every time a bell goes off, the whole world is reminding me that there is something else to worry about and that, once again, this must have been me at fault. I know, of course, there is no way this could be possible, but something inside my brain still wants it to be so.

It's just too stressful to go out in the world, too dangerous. I don't have the motivation to go out and do the things normal people are supposed to do and go get groceries, run errands. But every weekend has been the same. I sit at my computer and attempt to write, as though all the things wrong with me are a barrier to the sheer fun and exciting parts of creating a world on a page.

I cannot focus, my mind wanders too far from where I'm supposed to be writing and suddenly the words, my will, my ability all flies away and leaves nothing. Because I was never praised as a child, never in the way a child should be praised. Nobody ever told me they were proud of me. My boyfriend says it now, but I don't believe him. How can he be proud of someone who is chronically ill and doesn't get anything done in the real world? All my hard work goes towards a single piece, and even when that's done I am only guaranteed enough support and approval from people that do not truly love me, and the joys of success are brief. And all those eyes staring, taking in whatever they can see of me, ready to criticize and judge. And in a single, quick flash of pain, I will remember it again. I'm not good enough.

I'm not good enough to play video games or watch movies or write, or enjoy things. I'm not good enough to sit at my office job and do work, not good enough to work when my brain gives up or my body won't let me move. Everything feels heavy and slow and numb and every second hurts, each breath and each heartbeat an uphill climb I can barely push myself through.

Sometimes it feels like I'm trapped in a cycle, and for my ADHD brain, this feels like a nightmare - unable to focus and being forced to re-learn these lessons time and time again because they fly by when you're distracted, and each new week, month, day all start to blur together into an endless, horrifying spiral. Sometimes I forget what year it is. And in a world that I could only ever imagine having people who do care, love me for me, a world where I was never harmed by people's perceptions, my mind spirals once more - because maybe I'm still not good enough.

Who is there to blame here? The internet? My mother? My boyfriend? The teachers? There is so much hate, so much vitriol, the most damaging thing is a neutral "love you" to be passive-aggressive in its tone, or the ones that are full of praise but void of true emotion or feeling. There is so little I know of kindness, and I think a kind act is me deciding not to tell the world about how much I suffer. Yet here I am, displaying it on a public forum and thus will probably be labeled as "reaching" for attention in one way or another. Perhaps people are right, and it is the internet, or people, the words. After all, that's all a writer has, is their own words - to write, to dance, to love, to cry and despair.

My heart and soul are numb, tired. A heavy, impenetrable fog over my entire life, trying to leave myself out of all the experiences that were robbed from me.

#personal #not a cry for help #confessions #delete later

0 notes

biffhofosho · 1 year

Note

MY TIME HAS COME HI I AM BACK and this time I TRIPLE CHECKED FOR TYPOS IN THIS MF!!!!! I guess I don’t have to tell you how excited I am to finally read this. The paragraph with the vibe ALONE has me howling, literally since I am home alone.

The idea of the big bad werewolf having a small fluffy, yappy dog sends me

I love that mysterious neighbour vibe, I do. I mean everything was fine till HE WAS BITTEN!!!!! Hahaha

I Mean I grew up in Mexico, damn dogs bark every night, all night, I never noticed until my husband complained to me about it. If it’s often enough you’ll tune it out, but yeah, every month? You gotta notice that

Also high five for mentioning mesoamerican anthropology, lol

I love the way you describe the houses and the general ambiance of the neighbourhood,

Agan, had this been in Mexico, you would have neighbours and people knocking on your door because, where have you been? We haven’t seen you in ages? Is everything ok? Do you need anything?

Oh wow, “a helping hand” comes into action. Wink wonk

“Flashes of chains, of white-knuckled hands on wrists and waists, of tits furiously bouncing and cock wickedly hammering between shaking thighs, flooded her mind along with the dopamine” GOOD LORDT YES

Also thanks for not using the phrase “Ruined underwear” to talk about some wetness on your knickers.

“Kat couldn’t shake it from her mind. He was living in there, somewhere deep in the shadows of her most primitive self, possessing her, and he didn’t even have the dignity to be real.” I FUCKING LOVE THIS

Magic, Witchcraft, and the Supernatural Body anthro course. SIGN ME UP!!! Ohhhhh sexy neighbour, and he’s angry, yes

Give me one more. I know you can, baby. Good girl. OF COURSE IT WAS HIS VOICE.

I want nothing in life except Yoo Kihyun calling me his good girl.

Wow her note is so passive aggressive, I love it

“You’re welcome to come over any time you want and try.” CHALLENGE OR INVITATION? I SAY BOTH

KITTEN? Just like that? Not even a warning?? I normally hate pet names, but not this one and not coming from this specific man

I spoke too soon about the ruined underwear…. (they are not ruined, just wet, they will be fine. looooooll)

OMG IS SHE IN HEAT??????

The howling again!!!!!! Awwwwoooooooooooooooooo

“This one was long and warbling, like a desperate cry for attention, and it had hers instantly” I AM CHEWING ON MY HAND

For a moment I thought I might have eaten the dog, lol. I am glad he’s safe

“I had to, officer! The dogs sounded lonely?” LOL. like when you break the window of a car because there’s a dog inside in a very hot summer

OMG SHE IS IN HIS BED NO!!!! SHE IS GONNA DO IT, YES SHE IS AND THIS PROBABLY THE PART WHERE I, TOO, WILL BECOME FERAL.

OH SHE DID NOT. I am dissapoint…

But also I love how dramatic she is. That’s what goody-two-shoes always do, be dramatic and think the police will take them to jail forever

“She did not expect to see her neighbor tethered by a thick leather collar to the wall.” OK NO THIS IS WHERE I GO FERAL

“Of course it's my business. It's for me.” Lower now, in a borderline hiss, he added, “I can smell it. You’re almost ready— It’s time to—god, if you’d just let me—” i mean reading this in context, complete… just makes me grgrrgggrrgggggggg

Kihyun asking her if he came on his bed just got me doing a little dance

“There’s no time for that now. Can’t you see I’m losing the last of my control, baby? There are things it needs, like fresh meat and moonlit runs, and there are things it wants. I'm down here because of the things it wants. If it weren’t for this chain…” I AM MAKING THE MOST INCOHERENT NOISES RIGHT NOW

HIS MATE!!!!!! HIS MATE I AM….

The way he called for her! The way he is desperate but yet he commands her! The way she surrendered! I hope you know I am cursing at you right now cause it’s like you know what I like.

that part where she is howling and she notices? I MEAN KINDLY FUCK OFF!!!!!!!

The way he babbles into her neck

I am gone

Bye

Ohhh the pearly gift, that’s poetic AF

AHHH trusty friend Hyungwoo, gotta love him

OH THEY’RE A PACK I AM SO HAPPY

My memes come true!!

Also, so romantic!!! So beautiful. After the dust of lust settled, there's looove and I can’t get enough of it

“You’re not alone anymore.”

MAAAAAANNNNNN, so good!!! So fucking good!!!! I love it and I am so happy right now, of course now i am gonna go to work thinking about this, lol

and every time I read anything from you

love you sososos much

Yes, babygirl, I'm so glad you could actually read in a timely fashion before the next one drops (*coughs* this Sunday *coughs)!

Ah, see? That's very interesting about the barking dogs. This would fly totally under the radar there, but not in the American suburbs. Fuck, I'll report your nuisance dog lol. Don't fuck with my sleep! *insert "ain't nobody got time for that" gif*

Maybe--just maybe--I slipped that Mesoamerican thing in there for my good friend. ;)

Hahahaha, yeah, Americans go their entire lives living next door to the same people and have no fucking clue what their names are because we *care* about each other... >.>

LOL

"didn't even have the dignity to be real" -- I may or may not have been targeting myself with this line. <.<

I love that we want the same things in life loooooooool.

Gee, I know nothing about being passive aggressive at all............... 100%, I would have written that note.

Girl, bye, "ruined for the day" is unnecessarily wordy, and if you gotta spend the whole day in them, yeah, that shit also ruins your day lol... Not that I would know anything about such things................................................

You almost ate the dog? Heh.

hahahahahahaha you are not the only one to be disappoint in that ;)

Yes! You get special friends-only previews, but when you see how something fits into the larger picture, it gets a bit more intense, doesn't it?

Girl, can I just say, picturing Kihyun crawling across the floor on a fucking leash made me very unstable for a while after writing it.

I am glad it made you happy, friendo. <3 This was the longest ask ever, and I loved it. Werewolf agenda achieved! So many more fun AUs to tackle still. Can't wait for you to read them all.

#gee thanks #new bestie!#best reader ever #bad dog #it's so much fun being your friend <3

0 notes