#again don't. read if we're in the same campaign please and Thank You

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

01/28/2024 Daily Crew Recap

TLDR; Hoist The Ads Charity Donations; Campaign Status Updates; Hunt For the Pirate Home Watch Party; General Morale; Past Renewal Campaign Comparisons; Cast & Crew Sightings; Upcoming Events: Pets for Pirates Jan 29; Love Notes; Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika

=Hoist The Ads Updates =

Looks like the voting is done, and the results are in! @gingerlyvibing was kind enough to break down how much is going where. Just a reminder-- you all made this happen! Everything over the $10K it cost to get the billboard is going to help out these awesome charities! Links to threads: Tumblr / Twitter

Funnily enough, apparently one of the trucks still has the ads on it

== How To Help ==

How To Help Save OFMD Task List - US

How to Help Save OFMD Task List - Outside US

I'm helping some folks over on FB get similar/ the same updates right now, if anyone would like to help give me feedback I'd appreciate it, please just PM me! I have a couple ideas and I want to run them by folks.

== Status Updates ==

Good news! Wb is still having trouble recovering, as it should. Thanks @btweenhisteeth on twitter

==Petition Status==

Over 82K -- going slow, but still ticking up! Takes time all, especially since we're focused on the networks right now. Don't give up!

== Hunt For The Pirate Home Watch Party ==

Had some great turn out all over the world today for the Hunt For the Wilder People watch party. Thank you again to @dandeebakes for getting those coordinated!

Saw some great trends during it, and a lot of people having fun. If you haven't actually seen the movie, I highly recommend it, it's incredibly good!

==General Morale==

So despite things being fairly quiet today, the general vibe from folks has been that we're just in a holding pattern and we're just gonna keep clowning and polite menacing until we hear more word.

== Other Cancelled Series Comparisons ==

Something cool that I saw more of today was several groups doing comparisons with other cancelled TV Shows. Thank you to @OFMDCrew for these stats on twitter.

After they were posted, I did hear conflicting feelings on these (some felt it helped raise their mood, some felt it made it worse). So I wanted to point out a few things:

1. We've done a hell of a lot in 3 weeks (and signatures were our priority for most of the first two weeks, but once David Jenkins lit the beacon 8 days ago, we changed our focus). 2. We had a leadership change mid-all of this with Renew As A Crew. 3. Oh and there's other stuff in the world going on (Palestine) 4. As @saltpepperbeard says in their post "David only posted his "call to arms" just a little over a week ago. Eight days ago." So much has changed and we've STILL accomplished so much in that time too.

We are kicking ass, we really are, I promise you!

Across Twitter / IG / and Tumblr, several people have mentioned they feel like something's "in the air". That's totally a second hand "I have a feeling" thing but as you probably remember, quite a few of us had that as a bad feeling the morning before the show got cancelled. Now, if you're not into that kinda thing-- I would like to mention, that could just be because this crew is so fucking awesome, and that's why the vibe is so good-- because we're leaning on each other and take care of each other. Also when lovely people like @saltpepperbeard (as referenced above) write lovely responses to asks that can always help too. This post made ME feel better, I recommend giving it a read for a little perspective :)

= Cast & Crew Sightings =

1. The weekend is still pretty scarce as usual. Our pirate queen Ruibo Qian has been enjoying a lot of everyone's artwork lately. 2. Nathan Foad announced his con dates 3. Renewal Campaign Related: mostly seeing updates again from our boi Erroll Shand supporting the campaign.

== Pets For Pirates ==

Tomorrow, Jan 29, there will be a Pets for Pirates Even! Share your Pet pictures and use the hashtags:

#PetsForPirates

#AdoptOurCrew

#SaveOFMD

==Love Notes==

I know, I know "Jeez Abby, Shut Up We Already Know How Awesome We Are" Well good! Cause you should! But that won't stop me from saying so again! I'm serious when I say the vibe is so good right now in general because we have such a great crew. You all take such good care of each other and it shows every single day. You helped raise an extra $11,578 that are now going to charities that are going to help so many families, and kids, and that's just from the extra stuff from the Hoist The Ads Campaign -- not including everything else going on. I'm going to include a picture from one of my favorite people @thelatestkate because she does awesome work, and this one applies significantly to all of you. <3

Daily Darby/Tonights Taika

Tonights gifs are brought you by the wonderful @celluloidbroomcloset's Posts: Rhys / Taika

I'm literally watching Green Lanturn this moment because I needed to remember this youngin Taika, so thank you / no thank you for that, but hey I've watched worse for Rhys so I guess I can't complain.

Goodnight Lovelies <3

#ofmd daily recap #ofmd daily recaps #hoist the ads #our flag means death #ofmd #gentlebeard #renew as a crew #save ofmd #save our flag means death

[merc-chan]

I don't understand why people say that Miguel is a substitute for Rafael Luna, or that he's a new invented character. I thought he was the guy that in the book had sex with June a year ago and now thinks he's entitled to ask her about her family's stuff every time he wants. We first know about him after Rafael's change of sides become public. And then again when the photos of Henry and Alex at the hotel come out. He seems the same type of journalist as portrayed by Miguel: "hey, we had something in the past, so now you owe me". Obviously, in the movie there's no June, so the journalist stalks her brother instead.

Also, as much as I prefer Richards' campaign being the one that leaks the mails, that being done by an ambitious journalist also makes sense. We're supposed to hate the guy, and we hate him, so I think that's a win for both the actor and the director.

And, yeah, the fact that he's also gay makes the whole thing much impactful. He's not only betraying Alex, he's also betraying himself. He's ruthless, but not in a good way. Also, I'm pretty sure he didn't like Alex as much as he pretended, he just wanted to squeeze as much as he could get from him. Flirting was just a tool to get his goal. A means to an end, so to speak.

I think it would have been nice to get a news report or something about Miguel being investigated for hacking the White House or something. After all, he had done it before, getting ahold of Alex's Texas memo the first time. Then he sees him with Henry at the hotel, and he's not jealous, he's interested. So he hacks Alex again and finds the pot of gold: his mails with Henry. And he does the same thing he did before, he makes them public.

Anyway, I don't know what point I was trying to make, but I'm sure there is a point... lost somewhere there between all those words I wrote. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Also, if you haven't yet, please go and sign the change.org petition for Prime to release the 3 hour long Director's Cut. Maybe in that we can see Miguel actually receiving some punishment!

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb on prime #alex claremont diaz #firstprince #miguel ramos #juan castano #matthew lopez #change.org

[sammyboyimagines]

terrible liar

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: You and Eddie managed to keep your relationship off the radar of everyone in Hawkins...until a certain someone catches you. Will they be able to keep a secret? Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Fluff, slight smut, MINORS DNI 18+ (I'm serious, children.)

//so there is a chrome extension that lets you replace Y/n for your name. Please use it, it's a lifesaver for me when I read! It's called InteractiveFics I believe! Also, can you tell that I think Dustin is absolutely iconic? Because he is.

The pounding sound of a knock on the door woke you from your sleep. You squinted at the bright light from the window pouring into the bedroom. Usually, you woke up early to get ready for school, but you didn't today because you were at Eddie's trailer. Then reality hit you. You were at Eddie's trailer and were about to be late for school!

"Fuck fuck fuck.." your quiet rambling woke up the sleeping man next to you. As you fixed your hair in the mirror, you were thankful you took a shower before bed. "Y/n, what's going on?" you turned around to look at the stupidly adorable smile on his face. If you weren't about to ruin your sparkling attendance, you would have stayed in bed and kissed that face. But no, you just rolled your eyes and pointed to the clock before pulling the blinds back to see who was at the door. "Fuck, it's Dustin. Did you promise him a ride again?" Dustin's bike was on its last leg. It was broken often, causing him to need a ride from Eddie.

"Shhh, it's too early. Come back to bed, sweetheart.." he begged, his voice raspy and hoarse from sleep. He grabbed your waist and attempted to pull you back onto the bed, but was unsuccessful as you pushed him off. He whined and shoved his face into his pillow. You gently shook him to wake him up. "Eddie! Dustin is outside pounding on the door and we are about to be late if we don't leave right now!" Eddie sat up and pulled you into his lap, tired of your loud voice so early in the morning. "It doesn't matter.." you scoffed at his nonchalant response.

"Eddie, nobody knows we're dating. If they find out that I stayed at your place: they'll know we're together! Make Dustin go away!" you were trying your best to stay angry, but the second Eddie started gently pressing kisses on your neck, you began to give up. "Shh, just 15 minutes. All we gotta do is stay quiet, sweetheart.." his hands gripped your hips tighter as he left a couple hickeys on your neck, making you wriggle out of his lap. "Eddie! Go deal with Dustin!" as much as you want to stay the extra 15 minutes, you were worried about your relationship with Eddie's friends. What would they think if they found out you were dating a fellow party member?

You loved Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and the others to death, but you knew that it would be an extremely awkward situation if you told them you were dating Eddie. Eddie didn't care much. He preferred to let you tell everyone when you were ready. This didn't mean he would be totally distant in public whatsoever. He would slap your ass when nobody was looking, or sneak a kiss every now and then. You would always pretend to be mad at him, but he knew you secretly loved it. He was completely fine with keeping everything a secret until you were ready, as long as he got to spend time with you. 

Eddie pulls you back and holds you tightly. "Are you sure, sweetheart? I have a campaign tonight, so we won't be seeing each other for-" he looks at his watch. "Around 12 hours...can you really go 12 hours without another round before we go?" He slips his hand up your shirt slowly. Well, it wasn't really your shirt. It was his. You thought for a moment. Surely, Dustin would go away...

"Fine, 15 minutes." you laugh when Eddie flips you onto the bed before climbing on top of you. "You have to stay quiet, babe," you warn, making him chuckle between heated kisses. "Same to you, sweetheart.." he returns to your extremely heated makeout session. The window to Eddie's trailer suddenly busts open. "Eddie, I'm coming in! Are you dead or something?" Dustin calls out before quickly walking into his trailer and slamming the window shut. You panic and give Eddie an "I told you so" look before trying to look for a place to hide. Unfortunately, Dustin was too fast. "Y/n? What are you doing here?" you were speechless, so Eddie spoke for you. Dustin had found out your secret in the worst way. You underneath Eddie.

The boys watch as you maneuver yourself out of Eddie's grasp. "Please give us a minute, Dustin. I'll drive you to school." Eddie was beyond angry that Dustin broke in but also a little proud. You were wearing Eddie's Hellfire Club shirt, and it finally clicked. Dustin's jaw dropped dramatically. "You slept together!?" Dustin's expression of disgust mortified you. You rolled your eyes and pushed past him to hide in the bathroom. "You better fix this, Munson." You pointed your finger at Eddie, who put his hands up in surrender before nodding. "Dustin, buddy, you need to work on your timing." Eddie chuckled before pulling a shirt over his head.

Dustin was still in a state of shock. "I can't believe this. How long have you two been...?" He looked almost offended that he wasn't informed about your relationship. Eddie sat on his bed. "For a while. Listen, you can't tell anyone about this. Understand?" Eddie put on a serious face to make sure Dustin got the point. You eventually came back into the room. "Why aren't you telling the rest of the group, Y/n?" Dustin wasn't as judgemental as he was a couple minutes ago. You took a deep breath and held Eddie's hand for comfort, something you often did under the table at lunch or during his campaigns.

"I didn't want you guys to think of us differently. Because we're a group of friends, you know? I don't want to ruin what we have. We haven't ruined it, have we?" you felt Eddie squeeze your hand. He knew how long you had been worrying about this. Dustin shrugs. "Of course not. Now can I get a damn ride? Because of you two, we're all late!" Eddie stood up. "Hey, don't be a brat. We're in love." his statement made Dustin gag. "Shut up and drive."

Once you arrived at school, Dustin got out. "Hey, tell anyone and you're dead, Henderson!" You warn, knowing he would listen. He nods quickly. "Got it, you're the best, Y/n!" He laughed and walked off. 

"Relax. I'm sure he won't tell." Eddie tried to stay positive. You sigh and shake your head. "Out of all the people, why did Dustin have to catch us? He can't keep a secret. You and I both know this!" you rub your temples as you feel a headache coming on. Eddie kisses your cheek, something he often did when he wanted something from you. "What is it?" you look at him. He felt terrible seeing you in such a stressed state. He decided to leave it. "Let's go."

During lunch, you grabbed your tray and headed to the Hellfire table. You caught a glimpse of him, Dustin. The sight of him talking to everyone at the table was just enough to make you sick to your stomach. You didn't know why you were so worried, but you were. You sat next to Eddie and smiled at the many "hellos" you got from the others. Despite you being a new member, they treated you with respect. Little did you know, Eddie was forcing them to respect you. He threatened to kick them out if they didn't. Eddie had been crushing on you hard ever since you asked to join. How could he refuse?

Dustin coughed awkwardly. He looked like he was physically struggling to keep the secret. Literally, he was bright red in the face as he ate his lunch. Eddie quickly tries to distract everyone while you quietly tell Dustin to keep it together. "So how was everyone's day?" Eddie chuckles awkwardly. He was terrible at small talk.

"Pretty good. Hey Y/n, why were you at Eddie's trailer last night?" Mike questions, making Eddie practically choke on his drink. Mike knew. He had been with Harrington dropping off Max when he saw you hop out of Eddie's van and makeout with him against the door to his trailer. He wanted a confession, the sneaky brat. You calm yourself by holding Eddie's hand under the table. "He was showing me some guitar. I've been listening to some Metallica and Iron Maiden lately." You give Mike an innocent smile. Gareth immediately bought it. "Finally! You've been refusing to listen to them for so long!"

Mike rolls his eyes. "Really? There were some pretty loud sounds coming from Eddie's room-" Dustin looked like he was going to fucking explode. Mike continued. "Didn't sound like a guitar to me, but if you say so.." You shrug, squeezing Eddie's hand so hard he thought he was losing circulation. Dustin slams his drink down. "Dustin- don't you dare. I will kill you.." you look at him from across the table, making him jump. Dustin has to physically cover his mouth. "You look nervous, Y/n. Something got you worried?" Lucas asks, making you nod enthusiastically.

"Hey Dustin, you hiding something?" Mike knew his best friend better than anyone, so naturally, he knew when Dustin hid something from him. "I'll give half my lunches for the rest of the semester.." Dustin whines and looks at you. Eddie was blushing now, trying to pretend like nothing was going on. 

"Dustin, I swear to god I will fucking hurt you-" you were interrupted by him sighing dramatically. "It's food, lunch for an entire semester..." as Dustin faced this tough moral dilemma, you gave Eddie a nervous look. He just smiled and shrugged. "Let it happen." He mouthed.

"Okay, what if I add dessert in the deal too?" Mike smirked, knowing he couldn't resist. Before you could react, Dustin started. "IsawY/nandEddieinhistrailermakingoutandtheytoldmethatthey'resleepingtogetherandtokeepitasecret" Dustin spoke at the speed of light, making the entire table erupt in laughter. This earned looks from other cliques, but that didn't worry you at the moment.

Mike put a hand on Dustin's shoulder. "Slow down. Say that again?" You put your head into your hands, the embarrassment too much to bear. "I saw Y/n and Eddie in his trailer making out and they told me that they're sleeping together and to keep it a secret!" you waited for angry rants and complaints, but there was just silence.

"That's it?" Lucas tilts his head. "We already knew that, dingus!" You look at Eddie, who shakes his head. Dustin's jaw drops again. "WAS I THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW?!" he sighed when everyone at the table nodded.

"How could you not know? They're literally holding hands under the table as we speak!" Mike points out, making you remove your hand from Eddie's. "You two aren't exactly subtle. Everybody knows why Eddie let you join, because he was in love with you." Lucas laughed.

Eddie blushes, knowing it was true. "You guys are okay with it, right?" He asks, making them shrug. "Just don't make it awkward," Gareth said.

After a long day at school, Eddie drove you back to his trailer after his campaign. "You really need to help Dustin lie or something.." you laugh, holding Eddie's hand as he was driving away from the school. He smiles brightly. "I'm glad the secrets are out now, though. I've wanted to show you off for so long. Let everyone know you're mine.." you could tell he was thinking about something because he was mumbling. He only did that when he was deep in thought. "What is it, Eds?" you yawn.

"I think I'm in love with you, Y/n." He looks at you for approval. You tried to hold back the big smile forming on your face. "I think I love you too, Munson." You lean over and kiss his cheek. "Focus on the road so we don't crash." you giggle. During the ride home, you catch him staring at you longingly, like had been waiting to hear those words for years. He had.

He opened the passenger door for you. "Wow, and they say chivalry is dead.." you laugh when he bows dramatically. "What do you say we continue what we were doing this morning before we were rudely interrupted, sweetheart?" He ushered you inside. "That's the best idea you've had all day, Munson." with that, he pulls you in for a deep kiss.

"After you, m'lady." He bows and motions for you to walk to his bedroom first. "God, you're such a nerd." You laugh and walk ahead of him, yelping when he slaps your ass for the 15th time that day.

#eddie munson fluff #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #stranger things #stranger things netflix #netflix #fluff #eddie munson smut #steve harrington #dustin stranger things #mike stranger things

[glacierbash]

i heard something about a lesbian undead cleric 👀

YOU HEARD RIGHT OKAY

uhh if you're a player in the direlight campaign do not read under the read more unless you're the dm in which case. ya know. hi josh

warning it accidentally got long and rambly Whoops

SOOOO okay my girl my undead lesbian where do weee begin

here's a picture I've just finished of her because I wanted to test out a solid line style and i went too far AND I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO SHADE THE GOLD ON HERRRRRR

so her name is! Adr Irithyl! She's a Shadar-Kai (bodied) twilight cleric who worships the Raven Queen (who in the world is called Selyn). Before dying and her subsequent revival, Adr was one of many nuns who served to help souls pass on to Selyn, so that the Raven Queen could collect them and sort them. Adr specialized in children (which ALWAYS sounds weird), helping them with a soothing darkness that followed her wherever she walked. She would sit beside them, listening to children tell stories, letting them talk and talk until their lives would end, and she'd usher the spirits back. Specifically twilight, she used the dark as a blanket, blinding the children to what was to happen.

But, one of the children she was around ended up getting her ill. She was only ~150-200 when she passed, refusing to let the others heal her at risk of getting them sick. The only one she allowed was her closest "friend" among those in her specific order, telling her "I do not want my life to go to waste. Use my body as a sign that death is to be welcomed, and not feared, and that reversing it isn't the answer."

And then she died, peacefully, after an agonizing couple weeks of struggling with an illness foreign to her body. She's from the Shadowfell, she's not used to the Material Plane. She passed, and so too did 500 years. Empires rose and empires fell. People lived and she was remembered by her Sisters.

Until she wakes up, 500 years in the future, her body a stitched up, mangled mess, surrounded by corpses of other clerics like her, with no recollection of who she even was. She lays there for over a week, just... Noticing. "I should be starving by now. I should be dehydrated by now. Breathing hurts. I can't sleep."

When she finally moves, she just... Keeps seeing the bodies. Pieces of the bodies, sometimes just skin, sometimes their entire limbs. One of her arms was too long. One had a hand with only three fingers. The stitches on her body hurt, and she was covered with arcane markings she couldn't wash off. Memories would... Sometimes hit her, the strongest being this one woman flashing a smile and offering her...

She could never remember the word. it was warmed bread with some spread on it, but the specifics, she couldn't remember. It frustrated her. It frustrated her so much she went to destroy the entire ruins and kill herself.

When she found a note, on the altar where she had been. It was in a language she couldn't read. And... It called to her. As if it would be an answer to who did this. So, rather than kill herself and return to Selyn, she lead the nunnery, left her sisters, with the strange feeling that she wasn't entirely alone, that no matter where she went, bits of those ripped apart to form her would follow, everywhere she went.

Eventually, she found a town, where a person named Henris eventually befriended her, and she stopped her quest for revenge to work as a researcher in a school of Clerichood, which is where the party will meet her!

The Lesbianism:tm: will be something she realizes throughout the story, as she recalls memories of her "dear friend." They were very much in love, but their devotion and dedication (and Adr being... Scared of that aspect of her) meant that they never grew closer than friends. But without those obligations, without that... Goal? Adr doesn't feel that same "moral" obligation to remain celibate and pure and focused on her prayers. In fact, she can barely even remember the prayers she used to say, relying on an old prayer book found on a body of her sisters.

Originally, Adr had been a soft and kind woman who would give up everything to help others, but now? With the knowledge that, surely, in the eyes of her goddess she's an abomination (a theme among my elf clerics actually, undead clerics who think their gods see them as a monster that sends them hardships to get them killed), she doesn't care. She doesn't care about being soft and nice. She doesn't care about pacifism. She doesn't want to hurt people, but if she saw the man that brought her back and to get him, she'd have to kill one of her party members?

At the moment, I don't think I can say she'd wait.

She's not meant to be some overly grimdark, "oh boo-hoo" character, she literally talks like Miette the cat, regularly tries to eat food that she physically can't since she lacks a stomach, is going to be calling one of the characters "Sea salt" because they're a sea elf (granted they deserve it SMH Cancel Sea salt the Bloodhunter 2021 /j), but... She has that part of her. The fact that she never asked to be alive. The fact that she views death as a mercy. The fact that once her goal is complete, she will kill herself without any hesitation for fear of growing too attached to life.

and yeah im going to give her the comphet I struggled with for years because IT'S MY CHARACTER AND I CAN PROJECT THE STRUGGLES

but all the negative aside she does still adore kids and wears a raven mask (see above) to hide her face so that kids don't think she's scary, she'll give kids rides on her shoulders because she's over 7 feet tall, she'll sit with you all night if you have a bad dream (UNLESS YOU'RE SRIGRALT FUCK YOU SRIGRALT /J), she'll even grant you dark vision if you need it because even if the dark is peaceful to her, it isn't that way for everybody.

But, I haven't even played her yet! I'm switching out my genasi monk for her, and I'm. really excited. Adr is so much more interesting to me because while I made my genasi a really femme woman, I can do! So Much more with Adr! AND I just love playing cleric, like. Hitting inflict wounds on the final boss? MWAH that was a magical moment with my other cleric, and since we don't have dedicated support... I'm not complaining about pulling her out ;)

ANYWAYS thank you for asking me abt her Morgan i have thunked about her a lot, expect an ask abt your githzerai cleric soon because dnd characters are <3

#character study #heeheehoohoo lesbian :) #answered ask #ty again I Care Clerics ;w; #again don't. read if we're in the same campaign please and Thank You #it's weird I can't keep dumping abt her in the tags wild... #BUT that is. That Is Her.. #fun fact that drawing was the first time I've put a background to something in months! #tw body horror #tw gore #JUST. to be safe bc the backstory #the drawing isn't bad dw #You can barely even see the [redacted for dirty tag readers] #i ended up just saying words and it alternates between and

[girlmounter]

URGENT QUESTION TO ALL MY FOLLOWERS, I NEED YOUR FEEBACK!

Okay so here's the situation. I am asking you all to please please read this through and like, maybe tell me if I made the right decision... because I feel terrible about this. I would love it if someone told me if this is correct or wrong and I should've done something else. I'm not a popular blog, so whoever this post might reach (which is not going to be a lot of people) please please take some time out to read this through. I know it's a really long post, but I really really need your opinion on this. If you don't have the time right now, maybe just reblog it and save it for later. It would also help this post reach more people. Also please check the tags for the trigger warnings.

I have been going to a therapist for about 5 months now. My mom, as you probably know by now, is narcissistic and my dad enables her, along with my mom's parents who we live with. I have no siblings, and I just turned 17. Since we live in Asia, all you desi people know how hard society is on us when we go against our parents, who are supposed to be godly figures.

So all along, my therapist, (for confidentiality's sake we'll call him Sam, 21), has been bent on making me talk to them. I dont know why. I've tried explaining so many times that talking to my mom is not an option because 1) NARCISSISTIC PEOPLE DON'T EVER CHANGE and 2) my mom WILL use all my words against me and twist them into whatever she wants and later bring them up to bring me down. You guys with narcissistic parents know this shit too well.

It's not like I haven't ever even tried talking to them, I have! I've done it so many times, with a calm tone, in the most diplomatic way possible. There were times I tried to get the point across by crying and being desperate too. There were also times where I thought anger might work out.

It never did. It doesn't. It won't, because she is not looking for solutions or for mending the bond between us. All she wants is to infantilize me and keep me under her control forever. Mom and dad both want this. They don't ever want to let me out of their sights. They don't let me out of their sights.

A very long story short, I am supervised 24/7, I don't have much of a phone, I don't have friends, I don't have any family members who would support me, I don't have much of a family either tbh. I am monitored like crazy, gaslighted every single day, lied to, manipulated like hell, and babied to the point where it's just narcissistic infantilization and not concern anymore. To them, I'm a baby when it suits them, and I'm an adult when it suits them better that way. She doesn't care about what I think because apparently I'm a liar and to all those people out there who know the smear campaigning and the flying monkeys and the triangulation....yeah. All of that happens on a regular basis. I know I'm not providing any concrete proof and situations but please believe me. Please believe me. My memory is so shot I can't remember anything and i know it doesn't work out in my favor but please please believe me I'm telling the truth...

I have made three suicide attempts, I used to cut and was very badly addicted to it, and now I don't cut, but yeah I'll be sharing the reason in a little bit. Please hold on, this means a huge deal to me. Please don't scroll past this.

So Sam never really even had a smidge of doubt that my mom might be narcissistic, and I wasn't given the benefit of doubt either. After months of research when I myself figured that it might be narcissism, I told him and he went along with it. He does believe me now. But somehow I don't feel very understood. I dont feel better after I talk to him. I feel like my problems are trivial and that I'm just not working hard enough. I feel misunderstood and I never feel satisfied. I asked him for tips to deal with crushing loneliness and panic attacks and stuff like that, but I never receive real answers. When I asked for help with my suicidal thoughts, he just said that it's never an option and that's it. That's the only answer I got. When I asked for help with cutting, the only answer I got was that if I even tried to cut again, I'd lose him.

Like. Is that really how therapy is supposed to work?

Half of the time we just while time away, talking as if we're friends and I mean, it's a paid session. We're not very financially well off right now, what with the pandemic and everything, and we're paying him 2000 INR a week. It's a lot for us because we ain't exactly rich. That's like 10,000 INR a month.

I try to talk, I'm told that I don't stop talking and don't let him speak. When I don't speak, I'm not speaking enough. I dont feel comfortable anymore in a way that I think I should be with a therapist. I have recieved more helpful advice from actual PhD psychologists who are making videos on dealing with narcissism on YouTube. I feel more understood by them than I ever have with him. So many times I have left the session crying and hours later I'd still be stifling tears. So many times I don't feel heard and I feel like if I told him something he'd be angry. Sometimes he snaps and is like way too straightforward and it just doesn't do well with me. He doesn't support a lot of stuff that I support, like anti body shaming, especially for overweight people and stuff like LGBTQIA+ too, really. I'm mocked in an underhand way if I express that I support stuff that he doesn't really like. It's not straightforward but... I can't shake the feeling.

I do sometimes look forward to the sessions, if only because I'll have someone to talk to...but that's pretty much it. I'm not getting anything out of this. He claims that no one will understand me the way he does, and he keeps comparing my life to his, which I don't like. He says that in a way he and I both very similar and he relates to me and then proceeds to tell me about events in his life. He says that I'm his favorite client and now a good friend too, but I feel like that's not how it should be. And I do make an effort to listen to him tell me stuff about his life but...shouldn't it be the other way round?

Now I'm not saying that he is a bad person. I have loads of my own issues too; severe depression, crippling anxiety, overthinking every freaking thing, I'm like 100% sure I have complex PTSD from this childhood trauma, constant pain everywhere, crazy headaches, flashbacks, nightmares, hallucinations sometimes, and major emotion repression. I'm dealing with a million and one things right now and yes that might be causing me to feel worse about this situation than I should. I admit that I'm not exactly thinking about this in a diplomatic way...but somehow it doesn't feel right, and hence this really long post.

If you're still here, thank you so much. Your reading this is doing something that means a lot to me. Truly.

He exercises a lot, and he gave me a whole schedule to follow with the meals I should eat and the exercise I should do and somehow I never feel like I'm doing enough. If I miss out I can't tell him because he always reprimands me for messing up. I dont feel comfortable about opening up and then he forces me to do that and then when I do I don't feel better.

Lately, we'd been talking about how I need to tell my parents to their face what I feel is wrong with their actions, and how without that happening there's no point to our sessions anymore. Straight up went that if I don't talk to them on this Sunday, then we're not going to have sessions anymore.

I tried explaining to him many times how my mom will never change, how I don't want to enrage them further, how I don't want to give her more information on my life that she can use against me again...but no use.

He insisted over and over again on how she has no idea what she's doing to me, and if we just talked it out, my whole situation will be fine. This is just a huge misunderstanding.

I tried so hard to make him understand that that's not how it works for her, she doesn't want to resolve things and she'll just jump at the first chance she gets to use all my information against me, but no. I tried telling him that I have talked to her before and that I also used to think that if I just told her what they were doing wrong, then they would understand and mend their ways, I mean it took me YEARS to convince myself that it was never gonna happen! I tried it so many times and everytime I fell for this trap and everytime I regretted it but he doesn't get that! At all! That they're never gonna change!

Instead of helping me get over them, instead of telling me how to move on, instead of helping me grieve over my entire childhood... he was forcing me to talk things out with them, because if I didn't tell them I would be keeping it inside me and letting that fester would be bad.

I agree that it's not healthy for me to keep things to myself, which is why I talked to him right? And the things which are troubling me cannot be resolved with them because they refuse to change their ways!

The only thing that would come out of that family discussion is me at a disadvantage and them at an advantage by having all the latest scoop on my life and then have my mom (who is a doctor who has also done a course on CBT) psychoanalyse me even more than she does now. I'd be tailed harder. It will get worse and I know it. I've seen it and I promised myself that I would never make the same mistake of opening up to them honestly ever again. And here Sam wanted me to that very thing.

And I agreed initially, I tried convincing myself that maybe it'll work out and after all, Sam will be defending me and everything (even though he did say he would support them if he found them correct) but I didn't feel good about it. I remembered that a therapist is supposed to make you feel more at ease and let you take your own time to process through things and never force a client to do something if they had doubts about it.

And so I texted him today, and I refused. He said we won't have any more sessions, but I said it's fine. Because I don't want to go to him anymore anyway. I think I would rather have no one to talk to, than have someone belittle my experiences and just overall make me feel worse than I did when I first entered the session.

There's more stuff that was related to this, and if you guys want to know something before making your judgement of this situation, please please please ask me, message me, but please just have a bird's eye view on this whole thing and tell me if I made the right decision...please.

I would really appreciate some feedback right now.

Thank you so,so much for sticking with me till the end of this post. It means the world to me, honestly. I couldn't thank you more.

#tw: narcissism #tw: narcissistic mom #tw: trauma #tw: abuse #therapist problems #family issues #tw: suicide mention #tw: anxiety #tw: depression #tw: ptsd #tw: self harm #help needed #one note a day #please help #boost this #please reblog this with your opinion below #i really need feedback #i wouldnt have asked if i didnt have to #this means a lot to me #please believe me #help #if you dont wanna comment #just please boost this atleast #surviving narcissistic abuse #narcissistic parents #narcissistic abuse #narcissistic help

[dukereviewstv]

Duke Reviews Tv: Smallville 1x19 Crush

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Tv Where We Continue Our Look At Smallville And On Today's Show We're Looking At Episode 19 Of Season 1, Crush

This Episode Sees Chloe Falling For A Former Artist For The Torch Named Justin Gaines (Played By Seth Cohen/Captain Marvel Jr. Or Is It Shazam Jr. Now Because Of The Whole Captain Marvel Copyright Thing?) Who Because Of A Hit And Run Accident Has Lost The Ability To Draw With His Hands But Has Gained Telekinetic Abilities...

Ok, How Many People In Comics Have Lost One Thing But Gained The Ability To Do Another Thing Because Of An Accident Of Some Type? Honestly If Anyone Knows Please Write It In The Comments...

And So With This Miraculous New Ability What Does Justin Do With It? He Decides To Get Revenge On The People Who Ruined His Life...

After Killing The Doctor Who Botched His Surgery In The Hospital, Justin Searches For The Hit And Run Driver That Ruined His Life, Can Clark Stop Him?

Let's Find Out As We Watch Crush...

The Episode Starts At Metropolis Children's Hospital As Justin Gaines Draws To Get His Hands Back To Peak Condition But To No Avail As The Doctor Comes In To Check On Him As He's Being Released Tomorrow...

Upset That Everything Has Gotten Better Except His Hands, The Doctor Tells Justin That He Did Everything He Could Despite Justin Discovering That The Doctor Has 5 Patients Who Have Filed Malpractice Suits Against Him Which Leads The Doctor To Tell Justin That When One Door Closes Another Door Opens As He Leaves To Have Dinner With His Wife...

Using His Powers, Justin Messes With The Elevator Trying To Kill The Doctor, With The Elevator Stopping On A Floor, The Doctor's Wife Manages To Get Out But The Doctor Doesn't As The Elevator Goes Crashing To The Ground Floor...

A Few Weeks Later At Smallville High, Clark And Pete Are At The School's Job Fair As Clark Briefly Talks With Principal Kwan's Son Who Works For The Air Force Before Reuniting With Pete Who Got A Summer Job At Mayor Siegel's Office Working On His Re-Election Campaign...

Running Into Chloe Who Is Trying To Get An Internship At The Daily Planet Despite Lex Offering To Get Her Job At The Inquisitor, Pete Tells Her Maybe She'll Be Able To Try Again On Saturday At The Student Journalism Conference With Clark...

However, Clark Has Been Working On A History Project With Lana All Week To The Point That He Forgot To Sign Them Up...

Upset That Clark Is Spending More Time With Lex And Lana Than He Is Her, Chloe Stomps Off As Pete Sides With Her Saying That She Wanted To Ask Him To The Spring Formal Which Has Clark Realizing That Chloe May Like Him...

Though With What We Know About Alison Mack Now I Don't Know If That's A Good Thing Or A Bad Thing...

Running Into Justin At Her Locker, He Thanks Chloe For Some E-mails She Sent Him While Telling Her The News That His Drawing Hand Is Shot And He Won't Be Able To Draw Again For The Torch...

Asking Her Out For A Coffee, Chloe Only Accepts Because She's Trying To Make Clark Jealous...

Visiting His Mother's Grave On The Anniversary Of Her Death, Lex Is Soon Confronted By His Former Nanny, Pamela Jenkins Who's There For The Same Reason Lex Is, Despite Lex Being Mad At Her For Disappearing Nine Years Ago Because Lillian "Bought Her Off"...

(Start At 4:26)

Going Over Old Comic Strips That Justin Worked On For The Torch, Clark Enters And Asks Justin About His Accident Only For Justin To Tell Him That He Doesn't Remember Much Only Part Of A Licence Plate With The Beginning Letters Being DDI...

With Chloe Offering To Help Justin, Clark Believes That They Should Let The Police Handle It Which Leads Chloe To Bite Clark's Head Off Saying Any Information They Find They'll Give It To The Police...

I Mean Even When Clark Tries To Fix His Mistake By Getting Tickets To The Conference With The Help Of Lex, Chloe Is Still A Bitch To Clark Saying That Justin Is Already Signed Up And She's Going As His Guest...

You Know This Whole Fight Started Because Clark Started Because Clark Didn't Get Tickets To This Dumb Conference And Now That Clark Has Tickets You're Not Going To Drop Justin And Go With Clark?

Did I Miss Something Here!?!

Dropping Some Of His Drawings In His Portfolio, Justin Picks Them Up As Clark Discovers A Newspaper Clipping Of Justin's Doctor's Elevator Accident...

After School, Lana Drops By The Farm To Get Some Pies For The Talon From Martha Only To Talk With Clark About What's Going On Between Him And Chloe..

(Start At 1:41, End At 2:11)

The Next Day At School, Clark Talks With Pete About Justin As Clark Shows Pete The Newspaper Clipping He Found In His Portfolio...

Discovering That The Doctor In The Photo Was Justin's Doctor, Clark Finds It Weird That Justin Had That In His Portfolio But Then Overhearing Their Conversation, Justin Enters Telling Clark That He Liked The Tragic Irony Of It...

Believing That Clark Is Talking Behind His Back, Justin Tells Clark That He Had His Chance With Chloe And To Let Him Have His...

(Justin) And If You Don't I Have Friends In Gotham That'll Make Sure You Do!

Meanwhile At The Luthor Mansion, Lex Is Visited By Pamela Jenkins Despite Him Still Being Upset At Her And Looking At Her Like She's The Ghost Of Jacob Marley...

(Start At 3:17)

While Delivering His Mom's Pies To The Talon, Clark Talks With Lana About Chloe While She's Going Through Issues Of Her Own With Whitney, Who's Making Up For Lost Time Because His Father Has Been In The Hospital But Because Of This She Wants To Redefine Their Relationship And Figure Out Where It's Going...

But Back To Clark, Who Honestly Has No Clue What To Do About Chloe Except That He Doesn't Want To Lose Her As A Friend As Once They Cross That Line There May Be No Going Back...

Back At The Torch, Justin Gives A Drawing To Chloe That He Worked On All Night With The Help Of His Powers And Admits That He Not Only Had A Crush On Her But He Thought Of Her When He Got Hit By The Hit And Run Driver...

You Mean To Tell Me After You Got Hit You Didn't Think " Oh, God, Oh, God I'm In So Much Pain Somebody Call An Ambulance" First, Justin?

Seeing This As Their Second Chance Justin Kisses Chloe Causing All The Pencils And Stuff To Float In The Room...

Eh, Some People's Feet Pop, Others Cause Things To Levitate, Go Figure...

Eventually Seeing Everything Float In The Air, Justin Tells Chloe About His Powers And She's Surprisingly Ok With It Despite The Fact That Nearly Every Person With Powers She's Come In Contact With Has Tried To Kill Her Or Worse...

Either Way They Go Back To Kissing Only For Clark To See Them As He Asks Chloe To Have A Word With Her In The Hallway But As He Does, Justin Gets Ahold Of Chloe's Fax From The DMV Which Gives Not Only The Licence Plate Number Of Who Hit Him But Who Did It...

Telling Chloe His Theory About Justin Killing His Doctor, She Doesn't Believe Clark Because She's Too Blinded By Love Instead Of Looking At This Like A Reporter And Jumping On It...

Later That Night, Justin Pays A Visit To The Driver That Apparently Ran Him Over Only To See That It Was Principal Kwan...

(Start At 0:18)

Visited In His Barn By Lex As He's Reading "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" Clark Asks For Advice On Lana And Chloe Only For Lex To Tell Him That Love Isn't About Playing It Safe But About Risks And Unless He's Willing To Put Himself Out There He'll Never Know...

But As Clark And Lex Talk, Martha Enters To Tell Clark The News That Principal Kwan Is Dead...

Nooooooooooooo! How Was He Really Connected With Clark Aside From Being His School Principal?

Visiting The Torch The Next Day, Pete And Chloe Are Putting Together A Memorial Issue For Principal Kwan But As They Do Clark Discovers That The First 3 Letters Of Kwan's Licence Plate Matches Justin's Hit And Run Driver And What's Worse The DMV Sent A Fax At 4:43 Yesterday Afternoon When Justin And Chloe Were Talking...

But Despite All That Evidence Chloe Still Isn't Putting 2 And 2 Together! You Know What Chloe If You Can't See The Big Picture Now Then...

Back At The Luthor Mansion, Lex Gets A Visit From Lionel Who's There To Tell Him That He's Selling Cadmus Labs But Lex Knows That That's Not The Real Reason He's There...

(Start At 0:45, End At 2:14)

Visiting Kwan's House, Clark Talks With Kwan's Son And Discovers That He Was The Hit And Run Driver And That His Father Died Protecting Him...

But As Clark Gets The Truth, Chloe Finally Comes To Her Senses When She Discovers A Comic That Justin Drew That Shows Not Just The Murders Of Justin's Doctor But Of Principal Kwan As Well. So, Going To Clark's Barn, She Calls Clark At The Talon To Tell Him That He Was Right And Justin Is A Psycho Only To Be Followed By Justin...

(Start At 2:26)

While Clark Finishes Off Justin, Lex Visits Pamela Jenkins In The Hospital...

(Start At 0:23)

Later On In The Series It Would Be Revealed That Pamela Had An Affair With Lionel And Gave Birth To A Daughter Who We Would Come To Know As Tess Mercer, Who Would Take Over Luthorcorp In The Wake Of Lex's Disappearance In Season 7 And Eventually Become The Second Version Of Watchtower In The Last Season...

The Next Day At The Talon, Chloe Discovers That Justin Is Being Placed In The Psychiatric Ward Before Apologizing To Clark As She Blames Herself For Not Spotting Wall Of Weird Material From A Mile Away...

To Which You Have Every Right To Blame Yourself, You Badly Written Moron...

But Believing She Was Just Being Trusting And Willing To Take A Chance On Love...

Clark Asks Chloe Out To That Student Journalism Conference As He Still Has Tickets So She Says Yes...

Wow, Talk About Getting Over A Guy Quickly...

But As That Goes On, Lana Tries To End Things With Whitney Only For Him To Tell Her That His Father Has Just Passed Away Before She Can...

(Start At 1:38)

And That's Crush And It's...Ok...

Don't Get Me Wrong It's A Good Episode It's Just Chloe's Idiocy Throughout The Episode That Ticks Me Off Otherwise I Enjoyed The Story, Most Of The Characters Well Written And The Effects Were Ok So I Say See It...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

#smallville season 1 #smallville #tom welling #kristen kreuk #michael rosenbaum #dc comics #superman #the cw #the wb

[sunofsnek]

I posted 1,268 times in 2021

7 posts created (1%)

1261 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 180.1 posts.

I added 16 tags in 2021

#critical role - 2 posts

#bnha - 2 posts

#exandria unlimited - 2 posts

#shaun gilmore - 2 posts

#tal'dorei - 2 posts

#mha - 2 posts

#sleepy cat - 1 posts

#boop - 1 posts

#cat video - 1 posts

#cat - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 32 characters

#and every other of those couples

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Dear MHA anime onlys,

I hope you all had a lot of fun with season 5 & recovered from all the tragic shit we got, especially the Kurogiri reveal.

Please enjoy the break, watch some lighthearted cutesie stuff, before season 6 will arrive, because you will need every tiny piece of positivity you can get.

Sincerely,

an up-to-date manga reader

4 notes • Posted 2021-09-26 17:33:51 GMT

#4

I read post which sad Kaz Brekker can't be asexual because of his clear attraction to Inej and ehm... here are my two cents.

First off, libido and attraction are not the same. You can have one without the other. Second asexuality is a spectrum and demi is a thing in there. He has a strong bond of affection, trust & companionship with Inej, so she could be just the exception.

Can we also just remember that we're still talking about minors? Not one of the crows is of age so all those discussions are a bit weird.

And now to contradict myself I will give my opinion about them. None of the six had a real chance to develop a healthy relationship to sex, attraction etc at the point of the books.

SPOILER AHEAD FOR BOTH CROW BOOKS

Kaz trauma is so bad, he can't even stand the touch of skin on skin, like him engaging in sex... that's a thing for the far future.

Inej was forced into prostitution, if she's not sex repulsed in a way I would be kinda surprised. He just started to claim her bodily autonomy.

Jesper has a tendency for impulsive decisions, like fights & violence, so frequent changing partners could be on the list, too.

Nina learned early on that her body & her skill of seduction can be used as a weapon, as a tool. She is the most sensual & physically affectionate, but in her rehab she also tried to use this against Matthias.

Speaking of the Fjerdan, Matthias grew up in a hypermasculine space of military. His opinions in women were ancient at best and he has probably not that much sexual trauma but has to relearn all the toxic masculinity.

Wylan, the youngest of them just starts over the course of the books to accept himself as a person with value & dignity. And considering how conservative the merchants are, I don't think sexuality is a thing that is ever discussed. Tbh I'm very glad that he has his queerness figured out already.

In conclusion, all your headcanons can be just true & logical, if they don't get against core themes of the books. Kaz can be ace, tbh I also kinda headcanon him as demi aro/ace and that's valid.

10 notes • Posted 2021-11-06 06:30:04 GMT

#3

I never realized how much of a comfort character Gilmore is for me until now where I'm actually going to see him again after this long years?

Like I didn't watch campaign 2 because it was already a lot when I finished campaign 1 and the characters didn't hook me that well, but Vox Machina? I love them so much. I see a lot of myself in the twins and Matt gave me Gilmore, the most charismatic, wonderful man in Tal'Dorei.

After all the heartbreak he endured, etc I said that the only thing I want for him is to be happy and love again and it happened? And I'll be able to have a glimpse of that? I'm beyond happy

40 notes • Posted 2021-07-13 03:01:30 GMT

#2

Being connected to the Air Ashari, mentioning Skull Keep & saying he wants to go to Gilmore's Glorious Goods?

Like as much as Liam loves Caleb, his heart belongs to Vax'ildan & I love that, because I'm missing my bisexual disaster raven man every single day.

92 notes • Posted 2021-06-29 15:42:41 GMT

#1

Did I play Pokémon Sun/Moon? Not yet.

Do I still have a soft spot for Guzma thanks to the fandom? yes.

Made the artwork of @elbdot actually make me crush him? also yes

470 notes • Posted 2021-03-31 20:58:24 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[onebangtanstan]

Power Styles - Chapter Fourteen : The launch

I quickly turn off my alarm as Hobi is still fast asleep beside me. I gently leave my bedroom, letting him have a lay-in.

I check my phone while I'm waiting for my coffee to pour, and have a text from Jin.

« Hey Gina, just a bit worried is Hobi with you?»

I type « Hey Jin, yeah sorry he slept here, I didn't want to let him leave, he was a bit drunk and sad. »

The warm smell of coffee fills up my nose as I walk to the couch. I take a look at social media while I drink my coffee, and the first thing I see everywhere is articles about Namjoon's new hair color. Ughh, give me a break, I just woke up. Jin answers at the perfect time, just before I was starting to get angry again.

« Oh okay, thanks Gina. »

I don't have time to reply because a second text pops up on my screen.

« I've been meaning to ask.. Would you like to have dinner sometime? 🥺 »

I smile as butterflies invade my stomach.

« I would love too Jin 😌»

I open my computer to start working. My team has already started so I get updated on what has been done, and start editing the video clip. I prefer to do it by myself, so everything is perfect.

I decide to put on some music to not work in silence and figure I should get to know BTS before tour. I put on a random playlist and get back into working.

About an hour into editing, I start vibing to a bouncy song. It's so good that I actually start dancing in my living room.

I hear a laugh behind me, making me turn around and go red when I see Hobi.

« How long have you been there? » I shyly ask

« Not too long » He says « But long enough to see you vibing on RM's solo. »

Oh fuck. « Um I didn't know.. Coffee ?» I'm trying to divert the conversation.

« Yes please. » We head to the kitchen. « You don't have to be embarrassed, it's a good song. And it's healthy to have dance sessions. »

He smiles at me, presses play and turns the volume up.

Namjoon's voice fills up my apartment while Hobi starts jumping around, screaming the lyrics.

« I LIVE SO I LOVE! I LIVE SO I LOVE! LIVE AND LOVE, LIVE AND LOVE! IF IT'S LOVE I WILL LOVE YOU!»

« You should take that advice » I tell him.

« FIRST LET ME VIBE! »

I look at him dancing around my living room. First of all, wow, he's an amazing dancer. Secondly, he's so cute. He looks so happy in this moment, I can't help but smile at him. I must look like a proud mom.

He falls down on the couch when the song is over. I join him soon after with his cup of coffee. He grabs it from my hands as soon as I hand it to him.

« Did you sleep okay? » I ask him.

« Yes, thank you again. I really needed it. » He looks at me gratefully.

« Anytime. » I smile back at him. « Did you think about our talk? »

« Yes I did. » I look at him anticipatedly. « I'm going to tell him. »

« Oh Hobi that's amazing! » I pull him into my arms. « Just know that whatever you need, I'll be here to support you. »

« Brilliant, because I was thinking of a grand gesture. »

« How so? » I'm intrigued.

« Well we have the dinner on Monday and I was thinking a speech? So then the boys would know too. He's already out, so he wouldn't mind. »

« That would be epic. »

I get back to work soon after, and Hobi just stays with me all day, asking me questions about the editing. I eventually close my computer around 6pm.

« Right, that's enough for today. » I'm actually surprised, I got a lot done today and will only need to add finishing touches tomorrow. «What are we doing tonight? »

« Dinner and drinks? My treat. »Hobi says. I nod back, it's exactly what I need.

« Brilliant. Let me go back home to get ready and I'll pick you up at 8. »

« Perfect! » I say

I start getting ready as soon as he leaves. I take a long shower, allowing the water to rinse all the tensions away. I tie my hair up in a tight bun, put on my makeup and head towards my wardrobe. I feel good tonight, so I pick a nice outfit to match my mood.

My phone bings as I'm about to put my clothes on. It's a text from Hobi.

« Hey, I should be here in 30 minutes. Quick question, is it okay if Jin tags along? »

« Absolutely! » I text back, and think about how my outfit is a perfect fit for tonight.

Hobi calls me just as I'm putting my coat on. I quickly leave my apartment to join him and Jin in the black SUV.

« Wow Gina, you look amazing! » Hobi says

« Why do you sound surprised? » I tease him, and look over to Jin, who is just staring at me. « Hey Jin. »

He snaps back into reality « Um, hi Gina, how are you? »

« Good, thank you. » I'm amused by his first reaction, but he hasn't seen my outfit yet. This is going to be fun.

We arrive at barbecue restaurant in Gangnam. Jin, as a true gentleman, opens the door for us. A waitress brings us to our table, and I wait for the perfect moment to take off my coat. Jin's eyes almost pop out of his head. Mission accomplished.

« Oh wow. » Are they only 2 words that he can manage to say.

I act as if I didn't notice how he's looking at me. I sit down and start looking at the menu, feeling his gaze on me.

We decide to order a bit of everything and just share. We also order a nice bottle of red wine and some soju.

We start eating and drinking and talking. At first we talk about work, but as the drinks kick into our systems, the conversation drifts to nonsense. All of a sudden Hobi stands up.

« LOOK WHO'S HEEEEERE! » His glass is held up high towards the other side of the room. « TAE-TAE AND KOOKIE! » I giggle at the knicknames, turning my head to notice them coming towards us.

« Hey guys, what's up? » Kook says.

« Eating, drinking, talking, all that, you know?» Jin answers.

« Come have a drink with us! » Hobi tells them.

They sit down after a few minutes of us practically begging them to join us. They're both a bit tipsy but definitely not on our level. We take it upon ourselves to get them in the same state as us by starting a drinking game. They quickly catch up on us, causing general hysteria at our table.

We start sobering up after a while.

« Right, we're going to go. » Tae says, looking intensily at Kook.

« Sure thing. » Kook smiles back at Tae, almost blushing.

We all decide to leave and end up on the street to say goodbye.

Tae and Kook hop into a car, that soon disappears into the night. They seemed to be in a hurry.

« Come on let's go. Gina we're bringing you home. » Jin says, and I don't interject ; I'm still quite drunk.

I stare out the window the whole way back, seeing the city lights go past us. Seoul truly is beautiful at night, with all the signs lighting up the streets.

Hobi has fallen asleep by the time we arrive at my building. Jin helps me get out of the car and into my building.

He's holding me in his arms while we're on the lift. I can feel myself almost falling asleep leaning on him, his heartbeat sending soothing rushes through my body.

He takes my keys out of my hands after seeing the way I'm struggling to open my door.

« Are you good from here? » He asks.

« S-sure. » I stutter and trip at the same time.

« Right, let's get you to bed. »

He carries me into my room and lies me in my bed. His arms feel so good around my body.

« Will you manage to take off your clothes or do you need help? »

I simply groan, indicating him to help me. He gets to the top, and takes it off as I realize I'm not wearing a bra. I'm too tired to care, but he pauses for too long. I move under my covers to break the awkwardness. He walks up to tuck me in.

« Goodnight Gina. » He whispers. He kisses my forehead softly but I can feel the lust in his lips pressed on my skin.

I barely hear the door close, already lost in my dreams.

I have a hard time remembering where I am when I wake up, and how I ended up in my underwear. Flashbacks from last night come streaming in my head. Wow, I was really drunk.

I pull myself out of bed, throw a robe on and head straight to my coffee machine.

I sit on my couch with my warm mug, staring through the window, slowly waking up.

A text alert brings me back to earth

« How are you feeling today? » It's Jin. He's so thoughtful.

« A bit drowsy but okay. Thanks for last night, and sorry if I made you uncomfortable.. »

« Well I couldn't leave you like that by yourself.» A second text comes in straight after. « Uncomfortable wouldn't be the feeling. »

I giggle at his text before typing a reply. «Might I know what it was then? 🙄»

« I'd rather not tell you 😏»

I smile. I know exactly what the feeling was, I'm feeling it right now.

I force myself to snap out of it, I have work to do.

I open up my computer and start working on the video once again.

The day goes by as I finish the campaign. My team is also working really hard and we end up finishing everything before schedule.

I decide to text the boys.

« Hey guys! So quick update on the campaign : everything is edited and almost ready for the launch tomorrow. Get ready, it's going to be everywhere at 12. »

I put my phone down and head to the shower. I hear the notifications go wild. I pick it up as soon as I step out.

Hobi : I CAN'T WAIIIIIT 🤗

Kook : Yay! Thanks for your hard work Gina

Yoongi : Thanks for your update !

Jin : Brilliant!

As usual, Jimin didn't answer but strangely Namjoon did. And it wasn't a mean answer either. It reads « Very well, could you keep us updated tomorrow too? »

What? He's asking for news?

« Sure no problem » I answer.

I look at the time and decide to head to bed. I haven't slept a lot this weekend and I need to be in good shape tomorrow.

The next day, I get ready for work and stop once again for coffee and food for everyone.

We have quite a chill morning, since everything was done this weekend. We're just going over a few details, and even have time to talk about the tour.

We all gather in the conference room at 12 to see the official campaign. M. Yi joins us too.

The countdown starts on the screen and there it is. My team and I watch the final product of our hard work being sent out to the world. We're very proud of it. We put every effort into it in such a short time.

M. Yi starts clapping and we all join in.

We pop some champagne and stay there for a bit before I send my team away. I was able to get them the next two days of since I took up their weekend.

« You did well Ms Douglas. » M. Yi is now standing beside me.

« Thank you, sir. I promise the tour will be better, I'll have more time to be prepared. »

« Better than you pulled off here would be phenomenal. I made the right decision hiring you 3 years ago. »

« I'm very grateful sir. »

He proceeds to leave the room as my phone starts blowing up. It's the group. They're all congratulating me (almost all of them) and telling me how much they love it. I also notice a private text from Jin.

« Come downstairs. »

I gather my stuff with butterflies in my stomach and head to the elevator.

When I walk out, I see Jin standing there with a huge bouquet in his hands.

« Congratulations Gina. »

« Oh my God, Jin! Thank you so much they're beautiful! » I truly am surprised. « What are you doing here? »

« I thought we could spend the day together before heading to Tae's what do you think? »

« I'd love that. »

We leave the building side by side, my arm hooked around his, while feeling my colleagues' stares on us.

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