#afternoon anyways tumblr ate some of my drafts

[shojinfire]

//Lee Sin, but for all his grand ideas and predisposition to violence

  He’s the first to comfort someone in an emergency situation.

#ooc #headcanon #Give you a big hug #sit with you #tell you its alright #make you tea and get you things situation permitting #or at least delegate it #I want to say that's more his capacity as a monk and the Shojin vibes coming out #He is duty bound to make sure everyone is alright #(who he cares about) #afternoon anyways tumblr ate some of my drafts #so I am working on them and gonna queue everything soon :)

[sailorgreywolf-legacy]

So....this was supposed to be an answer to a prompt. But I tried to save it to Drafts and Tumblr ate it, so I’m posting it this way instead. The prompt was “I see the way you look at him” for SpAus (requested by the lovely @enchantingtriumph )

One very important clarification: This happens before Chapter 6 of Legacy, and that scene. 

-----------------------------------------

It had been a while since Austria had visited Madrid. It was not because of a lack of enthusiasm for his husband, because looking at Spain still made his heart race. Political entanglements in the German states had made it impossible to take the time to visit. 

He had written to Spain many times asking him to make time to come to Vienna, the answer had always been the same. It had been impossible for him to leave his empire unattended, even for a trip to see his husband. It had left Austria feeling slightly bitter towards the empire as a whole. Before his explorations, Spain had time for other things, and in recent years he had seemed entirely focused on babysitting the children that he had brought back from the New World. 

Austria wasn’t sure whether he had imagined a certain new impersonal coldness in the letters. He had told himself that it was his imagination, but Spain’s letters had seemed to become more formal. 

He had decided that it was time for a visit, even if it meant leaving some things to his ministers. If Spain was growing distant, then he needed a loving embrace to remind him of the passion in their marriage.

They were sitting on a veranda with the afternoon sun providing pleasant warmth. Spain’s palace in Madrid had such beautiful spaces to enjoy the pleasant summer climate. As he contemplated Spain across the table, he wondered if he should bring up any of his thoughts about his changing tone. Perhaps it would be better to wait until they were alone together at night. It seemed like it would sour the rest of the day if he were to raise it in the moment, and he didn’t want to start on something so unpleasant. 

He picked up one of the oranges and started to peel it, and momentarily contemplated whether he should have asked a servant so that he could keep his hands clean. He glanced at Spain again and broke the silence, “I have missed you.” 

Spain had been looking at the horizon like he was expecting something. He turned his head and replied, “I’ve missed you too. It’s been far too long.” 

The words sounded sincere enough, but his eyes didn’t seem to reflect it. Austria dismissed the feeling that it was odd, because it may have just been the time and the distance. The feeling dissipated when Spain smirked and added, “I can show you how much I’ve missed you later when we go to bed. There are some things I have missed quite a lot.” 

Austria chuckled; no one else would dare to be as bold as his husband. No one else would dare to voice their desires so clearly. He responded, “Have I left you lonely?” Spain smirked and said, “Oh, very lonely. My bed has been cold.” 

Austria could feel himself blushing. He was certain that he had missed this feeling that he was desirable to his husband. Before he could respond, the silence was interrupted by the sound of hooves. 

Spain’s head turned immediately. Austria was intrigued. This must be whatever Spain had been looking for so anxiously. Austria turned his gaze curiously towards the sound. 

It lighted upon a young man who was busy dismounting, and handing his reins to a waiting groom. The first thing he noticed was that the coat the man was wearing was exceptionally rich, and had gold embroidery at the sleeves. He couldn’t help but think how expensive that must have been. 

As he looked, he also noticed that the person that Spain was busy looking at also had incredibly fit thighs. He could at least appreciate that Spain had good reason to be so distracted. 

Then, the person turned to face them, and Austria got a clear view of his face. It took a moment for him to recognize the young man who had seemingly aged several years since he had last seen him. The last time he had laid eyes on New Spain the boy had been much shorter and had still had the chubby cheeks of a child. 

Looking at him in the moment, he guessed that New Spain had aged very quickly. He looked more like a strapping young man than a child. But, once he saw his face, Austria felt ashamed for looking at his thighs the way that he had. Though he did not look like the cherubic child that Austria remembered, he was still quite young. 

Austria glanced at Spain, who had yet to tear his eyes away from his colony. As he watched, Spain silently beckoned. New Spain smiled and immediately started approaching. 

Austria peeled off a segment of orange and took a bite as he contemplated the situation. Something felt like it had changed in the years he was gone. He took stock of the moment. 

The way that Spain was looking at his colony seemed to conceal very little, and New Spain’s smile seemed to return the feelings. New Spain was absolutely beaming when he reached the table. He noticed Austria and offered him a courteous bow. At least Spain had been careful to teach his charge proper respect. 

Spain said, “Ale, come sit with us.” 

Austria glanced around, counting the chairs. There were only the two, and he certainly was not going to give up his seat for a colony.  New Spain seemed to realize the same thing, and said, “Is there space for me?” 

Spain glanced around, clearly amused. He seemed to notice the lack of chairs, but was not fazed by it. He pulled New Spain into his lap and said, “See, plenty of space.”

 Austria raised an eyebrow at how comfortably Spain did that. With a small child he would not question, but New Spain was far from being a child. And the way that Spain took hold of his waist hardly seemed familial. 

Spain continued to speak to his colony, “How is he?” 

For a moment Austria did not understand the question, until he realized that Spain was asking about the horse which the boy had apparently been putting through its paces. 

New Spain was staring at Spain as he said, “He’s quite fast, and he listens well.” Spain was looking at him with rapt attention, and had little attention for anything else. He replied, “Then it was a good present.” 

Austria looked at the boy’s face, and he noticed the distinct pink that rose in his cheeks and the way that his gaze didn’t leave Spain’s lips. New Spain answered, “I do not expect so much for my birthday every year.” 

Austria was beginning to feel distinctly like he was the unwanted third person at the table. At that moment, he understood the sudden coolness in Spain’s letters. He had not been starving for romantic attention.  

Spain put his hand on the boy’s face and said sweetly, “If you want a horse every year, I will be sure that you get it.” 

Austria tried not to imagine the expense that it would take to fulfill that promise. New Spain laughed, though the statement had not been particularly funny. Then he said with a smile, “You’re too generous.” 

He seemed to be doing his best to charm Spain, and as far as Austria could tell it was working. He took note of the way New Spain was wearing his waistcoat unbuttoned, so anyone could see his undershirt.

 Spain planted a soft kiss on his colony’s cheek and said, “Go get cleaned up for dinner.” New Spain broke their moment and looked at Austria as he said, “Should I come to dinner?” 

Austria appreciated that the boy still understood what might be too far. Spain nodded and answered, “Yes, I am expecting you to.” 

New Spain nodded like he understood. Only then did he do as he was told. He stood up and gave Austria one last glance before he walked away.

 Without a shred of shame Spain turned his head to watch the boy walk away. Austria cleared his throat and said, “You haven’t been that lonely, I see.” Spain looked at him and said, “What do you mean by that?” 

It seemed absurd that he was going to feign any ignorance after what he had just done. But Austria clarified anyway, “I am not blind. I see the way that you look at him.” 

Spain shook his head like he had any room to pretend. He said, “It isn’t what you’re thinking. I am not doing anything with him.” Austria scoffed, and countered, “But you want to. Or do all of your colonies get horses for their birthdays?” 

He saw the facade drop as Spain realized that he was caught. His demeanor shifted, and he said, “Are you going to remind me to be faithful?” 

Austria would like to say that there was no room for other lovers in their marriage, but his mind lingered on how long it had been since they had seen each other. He sighed, and resigned himself to the inevitability of some infidelity. He answered, “No, I’m not. I know that I’m not here often, and you may not want to be alone.” 

It felt bitter to say it, but he was well aware of the proper way to react to a royal mistress. Spain looked surprised to get such an accepting answer. Before he could get too pleased with the permission, Austria added, “But, if you must do something, I want you to be discreet. I do not want all of Europe to know about this.” Spain nodded and replied, “Very well.” 

Austria was dubious at how easily he took the condition, but he was not going to push. Only time would tell whether he was able to keep the promise.

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 30: Tired!!

FUCK EVERYTHING tumblr just ate TWO posts in a row. In the second one, I was just talking about how I wanted to cry about losing the first one so as you can imagine, even though neither of them had anything of worth in them, I am now just about ready to fucking lose it.

Anyway. Whatever. I’m tired. It’s late. I didn’t get enough sleep last night, took a long nap after work, now it’s late again, and I have nothing I need to do this weekend but write, and I want to write, but I’m also scared of it. THE USUAL. I don’t know if writing successfully Monday helped or hurt honestly. It didn’t translate into a renewed habit, so now I just have this ideal hanging over my head: you wrote one good scene and enjoyed doing it—will you ever repeat this occurrence, or are you going to be a failure again??

All I want is to use Troped to force myself to just fucking do it, just write, just see, there’s nothing to lose, just a deadline to reach. It worked on Monday! Who knows, maybe it’ll work this weekend too. I just feel like I’ve had so few good experiences over the last year plus, and given how bad I feel right now, tired and like I need a long shower and with a sorta stomachache and really angry/upset about losing my earlier drafts of this bellyaching nonsense, it’s basically impossible to be optimistic at all.

Which means I just need to get to sleep!!!

Today was actually not as bad as I was expecting. I was dead fucking tired and it didn’t ease up even with time and caffeine but somewhere in the afternoon everyone kinda just decided they weren’t working anymore lol (benefits of not being remote….), or at least, I did. And others indulged me. I had a couple long conversations. And my coworker’s wife and kid came by, which apparently happens most Fridays but somehow I haven’t caught on to that pattern, and he (the son) is absolutely adorable. And she’s fun, and it’s always… interesting to observe them as a family because they seem like they shouldn’t work and yet they work really well. People have been doing unexpected things recently and yet it seems to be working out in unusual and roundabout ways…

The conversations were nice. I did get done most of what I wanted to do. I don’t really have regrets, in that sense.

I’m just tired. Still. Really, really tired. Tired like I don’t know how to feel better. But it definitely has to start with stretching out and then getting some sleep.

#the year 2021 #2021: rl #wrote this draft in word so it wouldn't disappear on me #one step forward two steps back with tumblr too

[sweetestrequiems]

I: Meetings and Photos

Word Count: 3,025 

A/N: Hello you lovely people of the Queendom on Tumblr. I’m Kit, and... well, you’ve seen me around enough. I wrote Silence is Never Better, The Tower of London, and maybe a few other things you might have seen around. Anyways... Welcome to the first chapter of Out of a Book! I’m very excited to share this with you all. I truly hope with heart and soul that you all  enjoy this. If you ever want to leave any feedback, feel free to message me, or contact me at one of these profiles:

Instagram: @/Reinapuff Twitter: @/Reinapuff 

If you’d like to be added to the tag list, let me know! I’m always happy to share my work with others!

Tag List: @boombiotch | @silverpetals97 | @watercolored-lemonade | @aveasorae | @parrlyndreams | @dont-lose-your-queerhead | @mindless-pidgeon

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A rather early Thursday morning in the city of Syracuse, New York. The time’s about 7:15 in the morning.

The sun was over the horizon, but there was little to no noise inside of the apartment. The birds sang their graces and none of this seemed to be the thing to wake up the sleeping woman. In fact, a little snore escaped from her while she slept. Had her roommate not needed to go to work, she would've turned that against the woman in a heartbeat. But of course, this was not out of malice; the two would see the situation being out of fun. Getting up this early in the morning, however, never came easy for the woman that was still in bed. There were two things able to get her to wake up: the sun hitting her eyes, or an alarm of sorts, whether from a phone or a clock.

On this Thursday morning? It was both of those things that would wake her up.

An aggravated Catherine Parr turned to face away from the sunlight, and to reach for her phone. Forcing herself to sit up to turn the alarm off, Parr set the phone down before stretching her arms up and yawning. She noticed the quiet of the apartment about a few minutes from initially waking up. This meant that she was half asleep for a good little bit. “Ah, Lina went to work. Right, I almost forget she’s a teacher sometimes,” she finishes her sentence with a hum. Catalina Aragón, someone she affectionately called Lina, or even just Aragon. She found it fun to have a Spanish roommate, if she was being honest with herself. Made for a more entertaining time some days.

Parr’s never-resting mind began to try to think as to why she had set an alarm so early in the morning. Was it due to the fact she kept waking up too late? Was it a meeting with her publicist? The woman, for the life of her, could not remember. A hand came up to her forehead, rubbing it a few times before pinching the bridge of her nose. “This is bollocks. I can’t remember why I set my alarms so early,” a groan of frustration comes out under her breath. If she hadn’t turned her alarm off so quickly, she might’ve read the reminder that she had put for it. That didn’t matter much. It would come back to smack her in the face later.

Letting her legs swing over the edge of the bed, Parr pushed herself up and on her feet she landed.

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7:45 am.

For Catherine to admit she was ready for the day, she needed one thing, and that one thing was in her hands as she walked back to the small table. Sitting down, the ceramic mug came up to her lips. Coffee. That was the one thing she needed. Her shoulders came up for a moment before they eased up, a smile helping her expression soften up from grumpy-seeming to amused. Opening up her laptop, Catherine softly hummed. A buzz makes her gaze shift from the laptop screen to her phone’s screen, seeing the notification on it. Tapping on it, she allows her phone to open up the email.

  From: Cleves, Anna To: Parr, Catherine Subject: Planning for next release

Parr,

Writing a short email to remind you about our 8:00 am meeting for the first steps of getting the announcement of your upcoming book release. If you have any ideas post-conference, be sure to write them down and send me an email with them. We can further discuss those at a later date.

Anna Cleves Media Agent/Public Relations

Bringing her free hand up to her mouth, Catherine Parr forced herself to swallow the mouthful of coffee and then hissed under her breath. “That’s today?! It’s 7:55, I have barely any time to get ready!” Gold star for Cathy Parr. Standing up, the author gave a sigh and quickly disappeared off to the space that was her room in the apartment to at least make herself presentable from the torso up. It did not matter that she was wearing black joggers, so long as she looked like she was ready for a business meeting.

Adjusting her curls so they wouldn’t fall over her face, Catherine paced over to the chair, and sat back down. Now that she had her headset on, and got ready in the nick of time, she patiently waited for the call. There it was. Taking a brief moment to look at herself and adjust her blouse, she answers. “Good morning, Anna.”

“Good morning to you too, Cathy. Glad to see you’re awake at an early time. And you got all dressed up, too! You didn’t have to,” a chuckle. Cleves ran a hand through her hair and gave a smile. “So, we’re looking at what kind of a timeline for the release, exactly?” A slight roll of the eyes, and a shake of the head. “Would’ve been nice to know before I spent the last five minutes panicking over being dressed decently. Anyways, to the main topic. My editor is getting ready to give me the list of revisions made to the draft and then I’m going to once again, go in and edit whatever needs to be changed per her advice. We’re... aiming for maybe... three to six months from now.”

A nod from Anna. Catherine could see the woman looking at a second screen and typing something. Probably notes about all of this. This conversation carried on past 8:30, until it was Anna herself who decided to conclude it. “Sounds wonderful. I’ll be in touch, as per usual. But now that this is over, we can talk about something else, if you’d like.” Although they saw each other maybe once or twice a month in person, Anna and Catherine were quite the close friends–– about as close as Catherine and Catalina, since the two have been roommates since their university days. “Look, I woke up this morning thinking I had nothing to do, and I was just going to text Lina for the grocery list but then your email popped up,” a laugh. The German woman simply shook her head.

“So you got dressed up in a panic, Cathy? I’m shocked.” There was another bout of laughter that interrupted them. Parr found herself nodding. “Of course I did. I’m not going to just answer a conference call from you in a crop top and joggers, and with a messy bun.” The thought of Parr actually having a messy bun made Cleves laugh. “You and messy buns? You’ve got to be kidding me. But good job admitting you’re still halfway in your pajamas.”

Now she rolled her eyes. She rolled them so hard, they could've rolled right off her face.

Catherine shook her head, not being able to help the smile. “Hush. As if you weren't in your own. You’re at home, I know you are!” Her hands went to grab the cup of coffee, and she brought it back up to her lips. She was a bit proud of herself for not having touched it the whole time during the meeting, but now she was craving it. So, she began to drink it, allowing Anna to talk. “Where’s Lina? I’m surprised the woman isn’t around there. Wait, no... never mind, don’t answer that. She’s at work, isn’t she?” A nod. “Yeah, she’s a teacher, Anna. She leaves early. Comes back by dinner time normally.”

It was a safe assumption to say the two were having a fairly good time speaking to each other.

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11:11 am.

“Perfect. That’s the shot,” a southern English voice rang out in the studio apartment. That was the voice of the beauty that took the world by storm: Anne Boleyn. “Tu as un bon oeil avec une caméra, Maggie! Ça a l'air super, vraiment. Go on and head on home, you’re good to go. Have fun with the pictures,” the ruby-lipped woman gave a kiss on both cheeks to her photographer friend, who packed up soon after and headed on out. Sitting down on the loveseat, Boleyn ended up getting herself to lay down and hold her phone right above her face.

“Lame.” She scrolls past one post.

“Seen it.” Another.

“What’s this?” A new post from her favorite author. She’d never admit it, but deep down inside, she was a huge nerd. Anne skimmed over the post, her thumb double tapping the screen. Parr’s posts were always inspirational quotes, or some snippets from her works. This one was just an appreciation post. A smile began to form, with it eventually becoming a light laugh. “She’s so kind! It’s amazing how someone so famous has a golden heart. And I’m sure she knows she’s got the fame.”

Most of the remainder of the morning for Anne was spent laying down, on Instagram, with no care in the world. Truly, the woman was one of a rather mellow personality. And in her spare time, she loved a good book. Deciding she’d had enough of Instagram for the time being, she closed out of the app and opened up another one. Probably delivery or something, considering it was approaching the afternoon and she felt her stomach rumble just a little. “Good thing I decided to get food. Has it really been almost five hours since I ate?”

An early riser, she was. On most days, Boleyn woke herself up at around three in the morning to go work out from maybe 3:30 to 4:45 in the morning. Sometimes she’d extend that work out to 5:45 in the morning. Then it was off to come back home, shower and get comfortable to be in the kitchen and cooking food for herself by around the 6:45 mark. She was always eating by seven in the morning, if not ten minutes later. But she was feeling particularly lazy today, so she’d take advantage of the day to just lounge around.

Standing up, Anne left her phone face down on the loveseat. She didn’t need it to get comfortable. And to be fair, it took her maybe about ten minutes, because the majority of it was her washing her face and making sure to take good care of that. She did however, come out of her bedroom with her glasses on. Now that she was alone for the day, she could just be Anne. No contacts, no sunglasses. Just plain Anne Boleyn. She was a huge nerd growing up, and she knew this to be quite true. She loved herself, and she truly did love her modeling career, but she found it odd to be both a nerd and a super famous model at the same time.

So, she’d keep her personal life to herself. Just like that.

––––––––––

1:00 pm.

Having finished her lunch around fifteen minutes ago, and having cleaned everything up, Anne found herself at a crossroads during the day. She could take her glasses off, grab a blanket, and take a nice nap. She could go out to the local shops and peruse their inventories. She could get into the kitchen, and do some meal prepping. She had options, but she just couldn’t quite put her finger on what she wanted to do. Shrugging it off, the woman reached for the bookshelf. One of Parr’s books was in her hands.

Anne couldn’t quite tell what drew her into Catherine’s writings. Her books were not quite memoirs, but not quite fully opinionated pieces either. However, they did fall into the non-fiction category. Think of it as a discourse, kind of–– but one full of opinion, experience, and even proven fact. She was a strong woman, and had morals. Anne Boleyn was drawn to that from the first day she picked up a book by Catherine Parr. Laying back down on the loveseat, she opened up the book with a smile.

“A well deserved following,” she’d softly mutter. Her smile became less and less of one until her face was deadpan; a sign she was focused on reading. Word by word and page by page. Killer looks in front of the camera and the world, but a calm and soft appearance in private. This was something Anne showed maybe once or twice, since she has occasionally posted on her Instagram stories a picture or a video with her in her glasses.

One page became another as the time passed. Page to page, eventually book to book. Anne was in one of her reading holes, humming to herself to add a little more entertainment to her already uplifted mood. What broke her out of the daze was her phone ringing. A phone call. Pulling the phone out from underneath her, Anne answered after reading the caller ID. Maggie. Probably an update about the pictures or something.

“Anne! Bonne nouvelle, mon ami! I’ll have these edited by tonight or tomorrow at best. You’ll be right back on a runway soon enough with these,” Maggie sounded excited. A smile came across Anne’s lips. “Besides, you now have an updated picture for events instead of having to use the one from three years ago! Isn’t that great?” Sitting up, Boleyn set the book down and nodded to herself. “Oui. Merci à vous, comme d'habitude, Maggie. You work miracles,” she chuckles. “We’ll talk later. I might just take a nap or binge some Netflix.”

The conversation carried on for maybe five more minutes before Maggie hung up. Quite literally Anne’s best friend from childhood. Put the two together nowadays, and if Maggie had her camera or Anne’s phone in her hand, it was a photoshoot wherever they went. Safe to say that Maggie was responsible for the solid 90% of Anne’s feed that wasn’t selfies and food posts. Count your blessings, they always say. And despite the overwhelming following, Boleyn truly was grateful for what she had. Every single bit of fame that came her way? She was thankful she managed to get that far.

––––––––––

6:30 pm.

“Cathy? Estoy aquí y traje comida!”

Catalina had shut the door to the apartment as she finished that statement. Catherine peeked from behind the wall, before stepping out into view and smiling. “How was work, Lina?” Setting the food down on the table, one could see Catalina’s eyes roll to the back of her head for a moment. Looks like she had a troublesome day, considering she wasn't too cheery coming in the door. “Don’t get me started on it, Cathy. They were so unruly today for no reason. Part of me wonders if it’s the fact that they’re teenagers or not, but... it was unreal. The few that sit by my desk in the back of the classroom? They kept their cool, and I was glad about that.”

Catalina and Catherine both opened up their respective take out containers.

“Pero, gran y poderoso Señor... it was a nightmare today.”

A snicker came from Parr. “That’s why I don’t teach English. Could you imagine it? I’d be being told I’m spelling stuff like colour and favourite, or honour wrong! I’m English, we spell it differently than the Americans!” That snicker became a laugh. Catalina couldn’t help but laugh herself. “But truly, I’m so sorry you had to deal with a rowdy bunch today. Maybe they will be more mellow tomorrow. One day is just one day, and you have had one bad day... what... once every few months normally?”

“Yeah, it does happen every few months. So, I guess I won’t worry too much.” Catalina just shrugged it off, stuffing a spoonful of rice into her mouth.

––––––––––

A bite of chicken found itself on Anne’s fork. She was staring at her food, debating whether she should, or should not, post the dinner she so graciously decided to make. One could see the questioning glimmer in her eyes. The voice across the room made her attention snap from the plate to the source of the voice. “Je sais que c'est joli, mais allez, Anne. You haven’t touched your own food!” A bit of a laugh from Maggie. “I know, I know. Look, I just... wonder sometimes, if there’s anything else I can add to it. I always do that after I finish something.”

“I can tell. Just like when we were kids. You ALWAYS wanted to experiment more with your food. It’s almost like you live to be chaos.”

“Well, I mean... have you seen how I look? I’m chaos disguised as a babe. I like to think I’m pretty fit, after all,” there was the laugh from Boleyn. Shrugging it off, she just started to eat. Maggie was the one to continue the conversation. “Speaking of things you like, Anne... has that favorite author of yours posted anything? You always had a bit of a love for books. I saw that appreciation post earlier, and thought that was sweet. Even with the fame she has to her name, she remains humble. D’you know what, Anne? It reminds me of you a little.”

“How so?”

“Because you are the exact same way! Even with this huge following, you... you take the time to reach out and say thank you! You’re quite humble, despite what your looks say about you. I guess that whole don’t judge a book by its cover thing is real. Also, how do you just know how to make chicken taste good? This is amazing! I’m surprised you didn't go to culinary school,” Maggie practically shoved her food into her mouth, knowing that it would make Anne Boleyn laugh.

––––––––––

At the end of the night, both women could be found doing the exact same thing before they made themselves fall asleep:

Scrolling through their social media pages. One admiring the other’s confidence, and one admiring the other’s intelligence. A fair trade off to it all.

And despite the surprisingly good chaos from earlier on in the day, Anne Boleyn and Catherine Parr both could agree on one thing:

That there would be one day that their paths cross.

#Out of a Book #Catherine Parr #Anne Boleyn #six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #Parrlyn #six ff #six fanfiction

[nikatyler]

Here’s a tiny sneak peek at what I’ve recoloured recently. I’m not sure when I’ll upload these because I still need to take preview pictures for them and I don’t have time for that tonight. And tomorrow in the afternoon, I’m going back to Prague. Even though taking preview pictures doesn’t take much time, I’m kinda uncomfortable playing the game with my roommate around. And anyway, I’m mostly doing school stuff when I’m at my dorm so...yeah. But I’d love to post it someday soon of course.

Unrelated but I’ll also hopefully get around posting all the asks soon. Some are drafted and ready to be posted, some are still in my inbox but I will get to them. I said character development is the one thing that will help me survive this semester and I meant it haha, I wouldn’t just throw it away. I hardly ever delete asks, actually, so if I don’t reply to you, tumblr ate it or I’m planning on answering soon :)

#ts4 #sims 4 #also most of these sims are from my legacies #both current and discontinued #and then three sims are...well...from an au of sorts? #it's not really an au actually #you know...if i wanted to continue golden days with gen 4's kids #that means i could rewrite carrie lynn's storyline #and that means i could get her with priscilla #i did them dirty in the legacy #anyway i think you can see where i'm going with this #lol i didn't want to tell you who these three mysterious sims are but here you go #i couldn't keep it to myself #it's highly unrealistic that i'll ever get to the point where i can start rewriting gen 4's kids storylines but ok ron keep dreaming #dreams are nice #nothing wrong with them

[dandelliongirl]

What a start

to 2020

I have been working from home since the afternoon of the 16th of March and it feels like forever. I am so glad this week is Easter weekend and a 4 day vacation.

My family has been healthy and life for me hasn't changed that much other than working from home. My friend who lives across the street got a Nintendo Switch and Animal Crossing New Horizons for herself but she doesn't have Nintendo Online membership yet so we have been spending a lot of time together. Besides her and my family I have no other contacts. My friend works at the central hospital though, so it's obviously risky and probably stupid... She came to our cottage a couple of weeks ago and we had the best time going on a forest walk to collect sticks for macrame tapestries and finding photoshoot locations and spending the evening going to sauna, playing ACNH and visiting each others islands to see a meteor shower. We are planning a photoshoot for easter weekend but I think I’m going to move it to a later date. I really need time with my family and by myself after almost 3 weeks of being shut in.

I am so glad we have our cottage and I feel awful for people in one room apartments right now. Spending all my working hours and freetime within a few steps definitely affects my mental state even though I am definitely a homebody. Working from home has been going really well though since I have my own PC with two monitors and my work laptop with VPN separately. I am definitely super glad to have a stable job and the possibility to work from home through this whole covid-19 business. I really struggle coming up with local entrepreneurs to support when there are so many but I definitely feel like I have to because I am lucky enough to have a stable income.

So buying ACNH was an ordeal. My local electronics store didn't list the special edition Switch console bundle until launch day (March 20th) and the place I preordered from didn't get the shipment until 5pm. We drove about 2 hours and started off before 8 am to get the console and game from a different store only to see that it was stocked locally right after opening. Anyway I got the game and it has been an emotional journey. I hate that I got oranges and an orange airport. I'm also not very happy with my town name or my character name but despite spending months making lists and thinking about it I didn't really have better options. I also didn't want to place down the museum before I could access the other side of the river but turns out I needed to place it in order to proceed and lost one day of progress because of it. I was so upset. The map is pretty good and I eventually grew to like my island but then I got Pietro as my first camper and was forced to move him in.. I also ate 10 turnips this Sunday and was absolutely fuming because of it. The first week of listening to the same background music was also an infuriating design choice as well as the recent barrage of bunny day eggs everywhere. Anyway overall I like the game and have spent awesome times with friends playing hide and seek, doing treasure hunts and designing and decorating the place. I'm taking it easy and going my own pace even if it means avoiding spoilers (even from my boyfriend who constantly spoils something because he’s too excited to keep his mouth shut!) like the plague.

Mum and dad had the rest of their house renovated during March since the bedrooms were renovated a few years ago. Me and mum spent so much time choosing the materials and planning the new layout of the kitchen and living room but it's so beautiful now! So open and light and airy and clean!

This whole covid isolation thing has really put all of my personal goals on hold. I feel like even though externally I haven't been affected too much the whole mental side of it has taken a toll. With no hobbies me and my guy are both constantly at home and even though I love it and we have a lot of fun together I also hadn't realised how much I relied on my couple of hours of weekly alone time to work on my crafts and baking and organising the house. I feel like the first 2 weeks were spent on survival mode and then ACNH took up all remaining free time and brain capacity as a form of escapism so I'm not getting anything done and that's eating me up. Also the lack of physical activity is taking a mental toll on both me and my boyfriend since we don't have a whole lot of room and I definitely don't feel like working out when he's just haning out on the couch in front of me.. I have also had a lot of restless nights and nightmares which tells me that I'm not as unaffected as I think I am. I have definitely been avoiding the news and trying to get into some new normal routines as fast as possible. I drafted this message while in a Teams meeting where our coordinators can do their own year and resource planning and ask me tech questions when they need help. Now I’m finishing and posting this before I start the next one. I don’t want to accidentally screenshare Tumblr..

My last post was from January 19th and since then we've had a fun birthday party for my high school friend on the 22nd, a brunch at and a visit to the future wedding venue for another friend on the 23rd, an adorable photoshoot with a big teddy bear on the 29th of January, sushi with my family on the 6th of March and this whole covid situation. My colleague with whom I had a lot of issues moved away and no longer works with us. Work without her has been great and I have been thriving. I love feeling important and needed, and it gives me hope for my future since my current contract ends at the end of this year. There are 5 of us in our team looking to get a permanent contract for one of the 2 open positions so we'll have to see what happens, but I'm definitely applying anyway.

Mum is on vacation this week and went to take food to granny and grandpa's door on Monday. Today (Wednesday) I plan on leaving work early and going to the cottage, and to work remotely from there on Thursday if I have no meetings that require a more stable Internet connection. Since the kitchen renovation and a relatively warm and snowless winter we got to start our cottage season early this year. My guy is also spending Easter with his family at their cottage. It's his 27th birthday next week! We are really bad at socially distancing ourselves from our families but apart from my friend those are the only connections we have.. My spring allergies started and it's definitely hard to know if I have flu symptoms or allergies but so far I've just felt sniffly and it helps after I take my allergy meds so I think I'm safe. If either of us or any of our loved ones got flu symptoms we would definitely stay home and we are well prepared for that.

In a few months once this whole thing calms down this will feel like such a weird alternative timeline or fever dream and it will seem very unreal that a disease drove us into global and local isolation of this scale where even schools were closed. Our capital is quarantined and the police are making sure people who cross the border have a valid reason to do so.. People are placing teddy bears and other stuffed animals to their windows for children to spot on their walks outside.. Wild.

Meanwhile I'll go back to playing ACNH, dreaming of summer and finding my new norms. I hope everyone stays safe and healthy! I’m trying to get the most out of my time working from home because it means I can do embroidery and other crafts during meetings.:)

#personal #diary #April2020

[muggle-writes]

24 for the sensory prompts? 😊

Thanks for the prompt!

(Sensory Prompts here)

24. Dust floating in golden sunlight

(my apologies if this posts twice. luckily I drafted this in another program because tumblr ate my first attempt to answer)

original work; no applicable content warnings. My apologies for length on your dash - the readmore only works to shorten reblogs, not the original (thanks tumblr)

.

Press Pause

“What am I going to do with you, little goblin?” Julian asked fondly, rolling his eyes at Zachary. In the time it had taken Julian to take the last plastic tote out to his car and come back to check that it was really the last, the cat had rolled into the middle of the doorway to be underfoot, again. Julian had been trying not to trip over him all day. Zachary, meanwhile, didn’t care, luxuriating in the afternoon sunlight streaming in through the sturdy plastic storm door.

Julian opened the door as narrowly as possible and squeezed his way inside, keeping a close eye on Zach in case he decided to bolt, and also to avoid stepping on him. Julian managed to close the door firmly behind him, mid-stride, without stepping on the cat. It was a reading success; he should be an acrobat.

On the other hand, he had a job already. (…almost. He started next Monday.)

A quick check around the entryway, the coat closet, and finally the kitchen, confirmed that Julian hadn’t forgotten anything. He’d checked his room again this morning before packing up his car, so he didn’t bother running up the stairs. instead, he came back to the entryway, squatting down next to Zach. Julian ran his fingers through the dark brown stripes on Zach’s side, from shoulder to hip, slowly, almost meditatively.

“I’m going to miss you, Zach,” Julian said, even though he knew the cat couldn’t understand him. “What am I going to do without my sneakthief?“

One of Zach’s ears twitched, but as Julian wasn’t currently holding a sandwich that Zach could pull the roast beef from - nor was he holding any other food -Zach didn’t react further to the nickname.

“I’d take you with me,” Julian continued, “but we both know Mom would just come steal you back.“

Zach didn’t respond, of course, but Julian glanced down at him anyway, pausing as though to listen. The tip of Zach’s tail was twitching, indicating his waning patience with being pet, though he was still vibrating with soft rumbling purrs. Julian switched to scratching Zach’s shoulder, then under his orange collar, then behind his ears, letting the silence stretch on.

Julian had hugged his parents goodbye before they’d each left for work in the morning, and the empty house now felt detached from the timeline. It should have been momentous - he was finally moving out. And not just moving out to college dorms in the city half an hour away, but to his own apartment, to be a real adult, with a real job. It deserved some ceremony, something loud or grand. Instead it was quiet, serene.

Julian looked around, at Zach who had rolled onto his back and was stretching, the white fur on his belly a tempting target for petting if Julian was willing to risk getting clawed when Zach decided that it had actually been an invitation to wrestle; at the dust motes, swirling lazily in the sunlight streaming in from the open door in front of him and from the window right beside it; at the faint scratches on the floor and the way Zach’s fur clung to his hands and his jeans. Around the corner, he could hear the dishwasher softly gurgling in the kitchen, and he knew if he moved two steps to the side, he knew he would smell the lingering scent of his mom’s favorite vanilla chai mixed with the too-sharp tang of lemon scented dish soap The stairs were just behind him, and his imagination carried him up the stairs and down the hall into the previous mild clutter of his bedroom, rather than its current state, stripped of books and posters and clothing and personality and ready to be converted into an office. It felt like nothing had changed.

Everything was changing.

Julian closed his eyes, trying to stamp this idealized snapshot of his early adult life into his memory, permanently.

How had Andrea managed to tear herself away from this place when she moved out, just under two years prior?

Julian dragged Zach gently aside, fur sliding easily along the hardwood floor until Zach was out of the path of the real door. Julian tried to ignore the quietly betrayed mew Zach let out in protest, but he still felt a twinge of guilt. Maybe Zach did understand that Julian was moving out. He wasn’t usually this patient. Julian was surprised, but glad, that he hadn’t yet gotten tired of the attention and wandered off.

“I’ll visit,” Julian promised, forcing himself to stand up. “A four hour drive isn’t so bad. It won’t be every weekend anymore, but I’ll visit.“

He sighed. He really had to get moving if he wanted to get to his apartment and move things in before dark.

The moment still didn’t feel real, even as he locked the house behind him (Zach finally popped up from his sprawl as Julian closed the door, meowing indignantly about his sunlight being taken away), and settled into the driver’s seat of his car, adjusting his mirrors unnecessary to procrastinate. It wouldn’t feel real until he hit the interstate, or at least it hadn’t in his college days. This was bigger. maybe it would take longer to sink in.

He fired up the car, cranking up the air conditioning against the summer sun.

With one final sigh, Julian texted his dad ’house locked up. driving. call if you need me’ and then his sister ’was it this surreal when you moved out?’ and then dropped his phone into the cup holder, and turned up the radio, breaking the moment with the wail of a guitar solo.

He wasn’t leaving home, he was driving home. Suddenly, he was excited again. He pulled off the driveway with a rapid pair of thumps as his wheels crossed the seam between cement and asphalt.

As he turned out of the subdivision, Julian couldn’t fight his smile even if he wanted to. The open road stretched before him, as did all of his adult life.

He pressed harder on the gas pedal.

#muggle originals #muggle writes #am writing #prompt fills #sensory prompts #wiptober #original fiction #1019 words towards WIPtober #although I intended to work on preexisting wips more than new promptfills #regardless writing is writing #title is up for revision but I think it fits #anyway i don't have a tag list for original works so ppl should let me know if they want to be the first one on it #it'll mostly be prompt fills like this unless I come up with a novel-worthy story

[lightsandlostbells]

SkamFr 2.7 reaction

Emma exposed as RPF shipper

Episode 7 

Clip 1 - Lucalex

Ahhh, a relaxing afternoon hanging out with friends, being on your separate phones. That seems like an OH YOUTHS complaint, but I’m saying it in recognition.

“They seem really close … imagine if they’re together?” If they were a couple they’d be pretty brave about posting pictures of them together on IG at this stage, even non-coupley pics, and even if you assume they are out and not closeted.

Emma is so into this concept of Lucas and Alex together. She was biting her lip in excitement over two dudes getting into a car together.

She also is quick to come up with that ship portmanteau (Lucalex) so you know she’s on Tumblr.

Manon, you sounds very reasonable about this Lucas-Alex situation, but you also brought up the car incident to your friend who is clearly ready to start drafting her Lucalex 100k slow-burn masterpiece. You can’t expect to dangle such a tasty morsel in front of a salivating person and hope to take it back.

But at least Manon isn’t like, wow what a fun game this is after her conversation with Lucas last episode.

“This guy is gay, I slept with him two days ago” - Mickael always taking everything Eskild said or did just a few steps more scandalous.

Mickael and Lucas are hair twins.

Clip 2 - Ate a dick

Their kissing is passionate so I give them props for that. On a scene by scene basis, just evaluating them in this moment, they’re fine. I don’t know how big Noorhelm fans feel about this actor, but Charles, whatever his character faults, has more intensity than William and I read more affection in his expressions. I found the comment about his boner far less awkward than in the original.

I still love Manon’s lamby cardigan!

Bless Daphne but the “ate a dick” comment and the subsequent reaction were about 10 times more unintentionally awkward than the original.

I mean, Manon is right. What obligations do these girls have to these dudes at all?

Julien is a little effeminate ... Daphne sure won’t let that concept of lesbian Manon go, huh. I guess if Emma is writing Lucalex fanfic, Daphne is all about those f/f epics. 

Also mentioning how beautiful Manon is … Daphne … girl….

(Daphne’s fic is all Manon/Female Reader amirite)

Clip 3 - Bedroom makeouts

Uhhh … in the previous clip, released on Tuesday, Charles says he has to study later on Tuesday. Then he says “Tomorrow? We could go to your place.” Manon agrees. Yet this clip was also released on Tuesday. They’re wearing the same clothes in both clips. Like … what? Am I hallucinating this glitch? Sloppy.

I don’t even know how they made this mistake considering it can’t be a post-production error, or that someone just uploaded it by accident on Tuesday, since they’re wearing the same outfits. This is a writing/filming mistake. Did they have a text where they changed the meeting time or something? They should have just changed the timestamp and released it on Wednesday, even though it’d be noticeable with the clothes, or edited out the bit with where Charles suggests tomorrow. Do some awkward ADR.

The whole joke about her waiting for marriage to have sex has never sat right with me because of how he didn’t accept no as an answer when they got together. It’s one thing if they got together in a healthier way, you could give it the benefit of the doubt and take it in a lighter way, but because they didn’t, moments like this are kinda tainted for me. (Plus the classic line in the final clip of the season ... but we’ll see if they keep that line.)

Heh, Mickael’s comment about if it were his room, the guy would be naked, and Charles laughing at that, was good. 

As well Mickael talking about announcing people are straight. “It’s not a stigma!”

So far Mickael seems more of a blatant comic relief character than Eskild - he’s just more, if that makes sense, and we haven’t seen some of the more nurturing, affectionate moments between he and Manon - in fact I’d say Manon has seemed more annoyed with him than Noora did with Eskild.  However, we haven’t yet gotten to the more serious scenes with his character, so I hope that we get to see Mickael pull off the heavier material.

Charles takes this whole incident well and laughs and smiles a lot, so that’s nice. 

I applaud them for leaving out that annoying line about William’s pals being excited to party with a Muslim girl. Charles’ crew definitely has the same idea in mind, as seen later, but I mean ... I don’t need that Our Hero being so casual about the ideas of his buddies fetishizing a Muslim girl. Because that’s what it was. 

Clip 4 - Call me

Manon just sank Emma’s ship. For a moment, anyway. 

Emma’s like, either I get to hook up with Alex or my OTP is canon, win-win!

“Maybe he made a move and Lucas turned him down.” I think Mickael is the kind of person who would assume if he got turned down, the guy must not be into dudes at all. Because how could you resist Mickael otherwise?

More setting up S3/Lucas’ story. That’s fine, it’s fair to lay that foundation, and Emma obviously knows heavy stuff is up with him. It’s nice that they show some concern over what he’s going through.

Manon’s joke about Emma’s strong body odor and Emma’s resulting sadface was very cute.

Clip 5 - That escalated quickly

Daphne said they were the only girls Charles invited but there are clearly other girls on that bus? I guess the emphasis is that they’re the only ones Charles invited, and that the other Raptors invited the other girls. Just pointing this out because the squad were the only girls at the Riot Club party.

That is some champion hair-flipping from Daphne, what a queen.

Well he can’t be French Julien Dahl if he has a face and is not just some mystery man shrouded in smoke.

I want to knee those dudes Imane is speaking to in the nuts. She is showing a ton of grace and patience here. And like, they’re not being OTT bad. They’re being just casually ignorant and annoying enough.

Ha, I know you don’t want to be set up but this is like the easiest small talk in the world, Manon. It’s Madrid.

Daphne talking to Charles, oh my God. Give it up already. This is agonizing.

Manon has been looking extremely pretty with her lovey-dovey face lately. Although the cuts from her looking gorgeous to Charles - who is not an ugly guy, to be clear - with that somewhat unnerving look on his face was kind of jarring.

“Promise me not to move from here.” OK I’m cracking up because they easily could have seen this fight from inside the bus. From a perspective of ensuring her safety? Sure, stay on the bus, good advice. From the additional POV of Manon, you’re not supposed to see me like this? Lmao, you guys are fighting like 10 feet away.

THIS FIGHT, MAN. 

I was laughing during part of it? I know it’s not supposed to be a well-choreographed fight scene or anything, it’s just a bunch of teenage idiots roughhousing but they just looked so ridiculous.

And then the dude just shoved Charles and it IMMEDIATELY ESCALATED into him smashing the bottle over the guy’s head!

What

AND THEN HE FUCKING KICKED HIM IN THE RIBS WHEN THE DUDE LANDED ON THE GROUND

WHAT

AND CHARLES PUT THE GUY IN A HEADLOCK AND STARTED PUNCHING HIM IN THE FACE

WHAT

I mean,  if they wanted to make Charles seem more like a real ~bad boy~, this worked? It was so OTT, my dudes. 

And all the girls look horrified and concerned except Emma, who is too drunk to give a single shit. Bless.

General comments:

For what it’s worth, in terms of charisma level, my personal ranking is Edoardo > Charles > William > Alexander. Don’t know anything about Daniel yet to determine his ranking.

Ummm why are these dummies posting pics of their matching Starbucks cups on Instagram? Do Manon and Charles not think that Daphne is going to stalk every fucking thing that Charles posts on social media and realize that Charles and Manon were at Starbucks at the same day … or that the other cup in Charles’ pic is labeled “Ma-” and has the exact same lipstick print as the cup in Manon’s pic ... Save it for when your relationship is no longer a secret, you twits.

Not to be harsh because I’m sure that would be cute later in the season, but come on.

I don’t speak French so if I missed the context of something, feel free to correct me.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#skamfr reactions

[burningfairytales]

@harmonization hey! I’m finally done with your prompt, but when I tried replying to it and then save it to my drafts for editing purposes, it disappeared into the void. (Like, seriously. Tumblr ate it. It’s gone from my inbox, and my drafts do say +1 now, but it’s just - not there.) I feel like maybe it got away from me at some point, and that I might have missed the point of your prompt somewhere…. I really hope you still like it. Anyway - here it is:

Cloud is waiting for him, just outside the inn, when Zack returns from the mansion where Sephiroth is still holed up, refusing to speak to anyone.  

Having just been on patrol himself, he’s still wearing that gods awful helmet; the one that looks terrible on just about anyone, but somehow manages to be even more irritating when it’s Cloud wearing it. That, admittedly, has less to do with Cloud not being able to pull the look off - not that anyone could, mind you, not even Zack himself.

(It has everything to do with the fact that Zack just really kind of likes looking at Cloud’s face. It’s a good face, okay - all fine features, framed by that untameable hair, and eyes the colour of polished sea-stone.

And most importantly, it’s expressive - it’s always right there, whatever Cloud’s thinking, in the twitch of his lips, or the raise of an eyebrow, or the way he wrinkles his nose when he doesn’t like something. Zack’s keeping track of all his expressions; carefully catalogued in the corner of his mind that Cloud has somehow, without realising, claimed as his own.)

Cloud’s smoothing down the creases on his uniform before he spots Zack, and his breath comes out in puffs of smoke. His cheeks, from what Zack can make out under the offending piece of uniform, are pink.

“Zack,” he greets, “hey.”

“Hey yourself!” He bumps his fist against Cloud’s, and grins. “You still insist on wearing that thing?”

“Yeah.” It looks like Cloud might be biting the inside of his cheek, and Zack has to resist the urge to just grab the helmet and trash it. His fingers itch.

“You’re gonna be wearing that when we go meet your mom, too? You’ll give her a heart-attack.” He reaches out and pokes his shoulder.

“Oh, shut up.” Cloud swats his arm away, but at least he’s smiling. “I’ll take it off when we get there.”

Cloud starts walking, and Zack easily falls into step behind him, crossing his arms behind his head as they walk.

It’s well in the afternoon already; the sun’s long passed its zenith and is leaning down to kiss the mountaintops reaching out behind the village. It’s quiet too - just a bit like what he remembers Gongaga to be.

From here, Midgar, with its constant noise, feels a world away - machines whirring and pipes creaking and the chattering of busy people rushing up and down the streets - the sky tinted ever mako-green overhead.

Nibelheim’s streets are mostly empty, and, considering Zack spent his childhood just waiting for the day he’d get out of his village, finds he probably misses the city less than he should.

(With a twinge, he realises he hasn’t written home in a while. His parents must be worried. He’ll request leave, when they get back. They’ll be happy, when he comes to visit. Maybe he’ll even bring Cloud, if they get time off together - Zack’s seen his hometown, and it would be fun to show Cloud his own.

From one backwater expert to the other.)

“It’s cold,” Cloud states, breaking the blanket of silence that’s wrapped around them. “It’s probably going to snow later.”

Zack looks up at the sky, grey and blue, gradually growing orange at the horizon. “Snow? Really?”

Cloud nods. “It’s in the air. It probably won’t stick - it usually doesn’t. But yeah, I think you’ll get to see Nibelheim in its most glorious: grey and muddy and snow slush everywhere.”

“Huh.” Zack makes a contemplative sound. Then adds, grinning, “I look forward to it!”

There’s a hesitance in Cloud’s step he almost misses, lost in thought like that, but he does notice it, in the end. The way he’s walking slowly, in the way no infantryman really does, his feet almost hovering in the air for a split second before taking the next step.

Zack catches up to him in two big strides.

“What’s up?”

“Hm?” Cloud asks, and - yeah, there really must be something wrong, for Cloud to be distracted like that.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Zack bumps their shoulders together. The metal plates clink together with a metallic chime. “And not your usual brand of quiet. More like a worried kind of quiet.”

“My ‘usual brand of quiet,’ huh?” Cloud repeats, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. “It’s nothing much, really. I’m okay.”

“But it’s still something,” Zack prods, “even if it’s nothing much.”

Cloud inclines his head, but says nothing.

Zack frowns.

“You don’t-” he starts. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, I mean. But if I can help-”

“You’re helping.” Cloud tugs a strand of hair back under the helmet, and rearranges his scarf; his hand fingers playing with a thread that’s come loose that the edge. “You’re helping. I just- I’m just-”

“You’re nervous,” Zack realises. It’s a nervous tic, straightening his clothes like that. Everyone has them. SOLDIERs - everyone in the military is trained to look for them, in an opponent. A tell, a sign of weakness. Cloud hides his well, but Zack is attuned to the way Cloud shows emotions. He’s an open book, to those knowing how to read him, and Zack likes to think he’s good at it.

“Yeah.” His hand falls away and he bows his head, purposefully avoids meeting his eyes. It takes a moment before he speaks again. “I moved away to become a SOLDIER,” he says. His shoulders sag a little when he breathes out, and it looks like defeat. Zack doesn’t like it. “But I’m not. She’s not expecting a member of the infantry tonight. I don’t know how to face her.”

Zack rounds him, and places his hands on Cloud’s shoulders.

“Hey,” he says. “No. Listen, Cloud. Just because you aren’t a SOLDIER yet, doesn’t mean you’ll never be. You’ve still got years to go! You’re expecting too much of yourself. And comparing yourself to people like Sephiroth breeds misery. Believe me, I know.”

“I-”

“Nope. No ‘I’s and no ‘but’s. You’re gonna make SOLDIER, Cloud. As long as you hold onto your dreams and your honour, you’re gonna be just fine. You want to know how to face your mother? That’s how. You walk up to that door, with your head held high, and the conviction that you’ve got what it takes to get what you want. Because you do.”

“‘Dreams and honour’,” Cloud murmurs, and the corners of his mouth raise ever so slightly. He lays a hand on top of Zack’s where it still rests on his shoulder, and nods. “Yeah,” he says. “I can do that.”

  The atrocious helmet is in Cloud’s hands when he knocks on the door, and his fingers drum an irregular beat as they wait for an answer.

As it turns out, he’d told his mother about their visit in only the absolutely necessary information - namely ‘I’m coming to Nibelheim and will stop by when I have the time’ and then ‘I’m bringing a friend.’

At least Zack hopes Cloud had told her about bringing a plus-one. He wants to be there for moral support, but he would hate to intrude.

His mother opens the door after a moment, expression completely blank as she takes in the two of them standing there, and for just a heartbeat, Zack worries. But then she’s reaching out, slender arm grasping at Cloud’s wrist, and pulling him close in a fierce hug - effectively smothering any worries Cloud might have had about facing her before he can say so much as a word.

Cloud’s mother looks, at first glance, like a small woman. She has the same fine features as her son, and the same unruly hair - it’s pinned back in a messy bun, but a few strands stick out here and there, falling into her face, and down her back.

“Hi, mom,” Cloud mumbles, into her shoulder.

“Cloud,” she replies as she steps back. “Welcome home. “

She takes in her son, from head to toe, before finally looking over to Zack.

“You must be Zack,” she says,eyeing him with a thoughtful expression, and he wonders if maybe he should have dropped the buster sword off in their room in the inn first - it does look intimidating, probably, to a civilian.

Claudia doesn’t spare it so much as a second glance. Instead, she smiles. “It’s good to finally meet you. Come in, both of you. It’s getting cold.”

Cloud first walks in first, with Zack prodding in after him in slow steps. It’s interesting, how people’s stance changes, when they’re on familiar ground - he’d been so worried just moments before, but now Cloud’s shoulders are straight, and there’s a confidence in his steps, one that comes from knowing a place by heart - knowing which floorboards creak and which don’t, how many steps it takes before rounding a corner, which corners to give a wide berth lest you run into them.

He follows them to the kitchen first, small but cosy, with stone tiles on the floor, and a rack with pots and pans hanging from it next to the oven. There’s a bread dough left out to prove on the counter, and the smell of something delicious cooking fills the room - spicy and, somehow, a bit like home.

“The stew isn’t quite done yet,” Claudia tells them,  “but make yourself at home in the meantime.”

Cloud nods. “Come on,” he says, and leads Zack to a small dining area. “You can take off your gear, if you want” Cloud says, “I’ll put them into my room, and they’ll be safe?”

“Great, thanks!” Zack removes the sword from the mount on his back, and then takes off the shoulder plates and harness before handing them to Cloud.

“Are you okay with me taking that…?” Cloud’s eyeing the buster sword.

“Oh, sure! Why wouldn’t I be?” Zack holds it out. “Careful, it’s kinda heavy.”

“I just know it’s important to you.” Cloud takes it with both of his, and even despite its weight, he holds it like it’s something precious. “I’ll be right back.”

(He walks back into the room not five minutes later, dressed in baggy sweats and a long sleeved black shirt that seems rather tight fitting across his chest.

“Guess I did fill out a little, this past year,” he says, giving him a sheepish smile.

Zack feels heat rising to the hollow of his cheeks. “Yeah.” He clears his throat. “Yeah, looks like.”)

  Dinner is a steaming pot of deliciousness - every bit as good as Cloud had promised that it would be.

It’s some kind of beef and potato stew, rich and hearty, and served with a crusty soda bread. Zack wolfs down two bowls and is about to ask for a third before he considers that maybe that’s rude, but Claudia catches his look and pushes the pot closer to where he’s sitting.

“Go ahead,” she smiles. “I made enough.”

So he helps himself to another bowl.

He listens to Cloud and his mother talk - isn’t surprised when she takes the news of him not being a SOLDIER yet with grace and a smile.

“You’ll make it soon enough. But they’re treating you well?” she asks. “You eat right? Get enough sleep?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry, the company takes care of me.”

“I’m your mother, Cloud. I’ll always worry about you.” Tugging a strand of hair behind her ear, she adds, “Have you thought about what I said?”

“What?” Cloud finishes his bowl and traces the edge with his finger.

“About finding someone. Someone who’ll take care of you.”

Intrigued, Zack glances at Cloud, who splutters, grimacing, “what- no. I told you! I’m not interested!” He meets Zack’s eyes, and a flush creeps across his cheeks. He gathers the empty dishes and gets up. “I’ll clean these.”

“Want me to help?” Zack offers, turning on his chair, because Cloud’s already through the door.

“No, you’re okay. I’ll be right back.”

He turns back to Claudia, who’d been watching them. She leans back, amusement lighting up her eyes.

“The food was great!” he tells her. “Definitely better than anything I’ve had in a while.”

She waves him off. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

There’s a moment of silence - and Zack wonders if maybe he should go help Cloud after all. He’s good with people, and he rarely has to deal with awkward silences, but there’s something about sitting down at the table with the mother of his best friend - his best friend, whose chest he’d been staring at earlier, at that.

Claudia seems to notice. “So, Zack,” she starts. “I wish I could say that Cloud’s told me all about you, but he tells me very little.” Then, with a smile, she adds, “but what he does tell me is often about you.”

Zack grins. Rubs the back of his neck. “Only good things, I hope.”

At her nod, he relaxes a little.

“That’s the thing. See, Cloud - he doesn’t connect well with others. I was happy to hear that he finally found a friend. He cares about you a great deal.”

He feels his own grin soften at that. “I care about him, too. He’s great.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Working for ShinRa, it’s what he wants. And I want him to be happy, but it’s hard - knowing he’s out there, fighting, but not knowing how he is, or when he’ll be home next. And I suppose it will only get worse, once he actually makes SOLDIER.”

It’s hard sometimes, to think that they are not the only ones who carry ShinRa’s burdens. They get missions and complete them; failure not an option. They travel, they train, they fight, on a couple hours of sleep a night and shitty rations or even shittier MREs, and most of the time, they do it gladly - this is the life that all of them, including both Cloud and he, have chosen. But it’s hard, not only for them, but the people they leave behind.

It’s probably equally hard, if for different reasons - the fighting and the waiting.

He nods.

For a brief moment, she closes her eyes. “Thank you,” she says. “For not lying about it.”

Faintly, there’s the sound of running water and clinking dishes, and they both consider the boy in the kitchen.

“Cloud’s capable,” Zack says. “He’s amazing. He impressed a lot of people already, and it won’t take long for him to become a SOLDIER. He doesn’t need anyone to protect him. But.” He exhales, a short release of breath, and meets Claudia’s gaze. “But I as long as there’s ever anything I can do, I won’t let anything happen to him.”

He’s met with a contemplative look. “How old are you, Zack?”

“Uh,” he makes. “I’m eighteen.”

“Two years older than Cloud, hm?” It’s not really a question, so he doesn’t answer. “And you’ll take care of him?”

“I’ll do my absolute best. Nothing will happen to him as long as I’m there to stop it.”

And then Claudia smiles. She reaches over the table, and holds Zack’s hand in both of hers. “A mother can ask for no more than that. Thank you, Zack. I really am glad that we finally meet.”

Cloud’s mother looks, at first glance, like a small woman. Blond, unruly hair and fine features. But she has the same determined look in her eyes that Zack has come to know from Cloud. Her hands are calloused in a way that lets him know she is not above hard work, and he realises at once that she loves her son fiercely.

And when she gets up to relieve Cloud in the kitchen, Zack can’t help feeling like he passed some sort of test. He doesn’t know what it means, but it makes him smile a little anyway.

  Cloud’s room, he finds, when Cloud invites him to stay a little longer after dinner, is both exactly and nothing like how Zack imagined it would be.

It’s pretty modest - there’s small desk, a set of drawers, and a bed that’s pushed against the wall, facing the only window. The buster sword is leaning against a wooden chair in the corner of the room, and Zack’s gear is hung over the backrest. It’s a very clean, meaning Cloud’s mother had been keeping it that way ever since Cloud moved out, but even more so, the desk is orderly, sheets of paper stacked neatly in one corner, which confirms Zack’s suspicion that Cloud is just generally a very tidy person.

The walls are mostly bare, save for a ticking clock.

“Hm,” Zack drawls, walking in. “I would have for sure expected one of those Sephiroth posters his fans keep printing. I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.”

“Oh shut up,” Cloud nudges him with his shoulder as he walks by. “You don’t get to walk into my room and make fun of me for it. It’s rude.” He points towards the bed. “Just make yourself comfortable.”

“It is rude,” Zack agrees with a grin as he flops down on the bed. “Guess I’m lucky you like me.”

Cloud grabs a blanket from one of the drawers and joins Zack on the bed. He unfolds it, throws one end over Zack’s legs and covers himself with the other half.

“I only have the one,” he says. “Hope this is okay?”

“Of course it is, but - are you sure you don’t want all of it? I’m mako-enhanced, remember? We don’t really get cold that easily.”

“I don’t mind sharing.” Cloud shrugs. “Look.”

Oh. Zack hadn’t noticed at all, but outside, where Cloud is pointing at the window, snow has begun to fall, and the streets and rooftops are already covered in white. On closer inspection, it does seem kind of wet - like Cloud’s prediction, it probably won’t stay until morning, but for now, it’s a beautiful sight; white against the by now dark sky, and the soft light of Nibelheim’s street lamps and windows.

“I hadn’t noticed,” Zack says, and turns to look at Cloud next to him, who’s still studying the falling snow outside. The bedside lamp gives Cloud’s eyes an almost impossible glow, something entirely different from trademark mako eyes.

“Mh.” Cloud shifts closer, until Zack can smell standard issue ShinRa shampoo and something like pine trees. “Hey, Zack?”

“What’s up?”

“Thank you. For coming today.” Cloud glances up at him, impossible eyes framed by full lashes.

“Aw, buddy, I’m happy you brought me to meet your parent.” Zack grins, but adds, more seriously, “You would have been okay, you know?”

“Still. You make things easier, by being there. You-” Cloud looks down. “You give me courage.”

There’s something warm blooming in Zack’s chest, spreading fast through his entire body like a wave rushing to meet the shore, or perhaps, if he were more poetically inclined, like the colours of  dawn bleeding across the sky. He bites his lip to keep it from flooding over.

Beside him, there’s a faint trembling, and Cloud shifts closer yet, to Zack. “So warm,” he murmurs, quietly, which was probably not meant for him to hear.

Zack smiles. “You cold?”

“Just a bit. Maybe I’ll put on a warmer shirt, hang on-”

Zack pulls him back when Cloud moves to get up, and wraps his arms around him. “Nah, come on. Mako-enhanced, remember? I can be your personal hot-water bottle.”

Cloud squirms a little, in his arms, and Zack can feel the heat in his cheeks where his face rests against his shoulder. But then he sighs, and shifts, just a bit, to get comfortable.

“...You’re an idiot,” Cloud informs him, argument losing heat with the fact that he’s buried his nose in the crook of Zack’s neck.

“I can live with that,” Zack replies with a smile, as he rests his chin on Cloud’s head, and decidedly swallows a joke about being Cloud’s idiot because he doesn’t wanna push his luck.

They’re quiet, afterwards, and Zack watches the snow fall outside the window, breathing the scent of pine trees, until his eyes drift shut on their own.

     Claudia balances two mugs of hot chocolate in one hand as she knocks on the door, opens it, quietly, when there is no reply. The sights that greets her makes her smile, probably the biggest and most honest she’s smiled since Cloud left Nibelheim.

There, on the bed, is her son, half draped over Zack; the black-haired, battle-worn SOLDIER’s arms wrapped securely around him. They’re both fast asleep, chest rising and falling slowly, almost in unison.

She places the mugs on Cloud’s desk, picks up the blanket that’s slipped down to the floor and covers the two of them, tugging the edges in more securely. Zack’s eyes flutter open at that, and he moves, just a bit, arms tightening around Cloud as he does.

‘Nothing will happen to him as long as I’m there to stop it,’ he’d said. It’s in that moment, instinctively moving to shield Cloud even as he’s half asleep, that she believes him.

“It’s just me,” she says, quietly. “He chose you, so take care of him for me. I’m trusting you.”

She turns off the light, tiptoes out of the room, and closes the door behind her.

#final fantasy vii #clack #cloud strife #zack fair #ffvii #ff7 #crisis core

[nightsnaps]

All 117 for the latest questions post you shared! ^~^

this took me awhile & has been sitting in my drafts HAHAH full answer under the cut

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? I’m confused bc this guy I’m crushing on keeps sending me mixed signals

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? sometimes from my mom. lol

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? I would never have an SO who smoked pot so if they picked it up, I can definitely say I would care. 

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? YES. perhaps too easy? I always end up getting myself into trouble because I trust other people haha

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? Studying for a linguistics morphology quiz. 

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? probably my best friend Nicki

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? depends on the situation… 

8: Are you close with your dad? YES he’s one of my best friends

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? HAHAHA no

10: What are you listening to? my roommate folding laundry & miscellaneous late afternoon sounds outside

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? green tea

12: Do you like hickeys? not particularly. If your only skill is sucking on my skin, you need to branch out lol

13: What time do you go to bed? normally around 11:30

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? myself

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? nope. my right hand is faster but still not AS fast

16: Do you always answer your texts? I try to 

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? not at all, even though I broke up with him. He was one of the greatest blessings. 

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? today

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? I am blessed to say many people!

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I was probably thinking about linguistics tbh

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? my roommate erika & my other roommate molly

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? in some form or another

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? about the same, i think. I’m generally a pretty content person. 

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? my high school ex

25: In the past week, have you cried? probably. I cry so much hahaha

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? gray

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? sometimes bc my first name is so popular

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? mmmmm… one of my exes. he sucks. good riddance. 

29: Do you have a best friend? yes 

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? well it’s already happened & it’s chill so i guess not

31: Who was your last call/text message from? my friend emily

32: Are you mad at anyone? myself for my lack of focus

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? ¾ people I’ve kissed have been older, yes. 

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? 22. But he just turned 21 last week. so

35: How many more days until your birthday? 334 days until I can legally consume alcohol WHATTUP

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? Yes! I’m a lead counselor at a theater camp. Also probably two other jobs besides that bc I have zero chill

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? many! & I love them

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? Nope. I’m not a very secretive person at all. 

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? I don’t think so

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? After the fact but never at the time

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? I think you can’t have a mature relationship until you’ve grown up a lot, but that happens at a different age for everybody

42: Are you available? physically, yes. but I am really enjoying being single so maybe not emotionally right now haha

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? 3

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? nothing. I don’t even have my ears pierced lol 

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? absolutely, although in order for that to happen there had to be some basis of friendship before the relationship started. 

46: Do you regret anything? Sometimes I jump to conclusions and make decisions off of my emotions rather than logic, and there have been times where I’ve hurt people because of that. So I regret those times.

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? Who I’m going to go with to formal haha

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? We’ve certainly drifted apart, but I think every one of my best friends & I are still on speaking terms & I know I could call them up anytime if I needed them. I hope the feeling’s mutual

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? nope but it having been 5 months since it happened is driving me crazy lol

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? Because I need to find a person to like first HAHA but also bc my crush never hit like level... so it’s fading slightly. also he’s not interested, as far as I can tell. 

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? has he ever seen me not cry is the question

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? I can, but I usually don’t. He has a new girlfriend

53: What was the last thing you ate? a smoked salmon bagel

54: Did you get any compliments today? not yet but the day is young. lol

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? Yosemite national park

56: Do you own anything from other countries? I have a lot of Mexican Blankets, a scarf from London, postcards from Tasmania & Spain, a sweatshirt from Canada. Probably some other things idk

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? A good mix of both

58: Where have you lived most of your life? California

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? my last roadtrip down to school about a month ago

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? no but I would if it was people who weren’t awkward hahaha

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? only a thousand times HAHA

62: Who do you text the most? probably my friends courtney, emily, or my mom

63: What was the last movie you saw? How to lose a guy in 10 days

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? nothing bc I don’t have one hahaha

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? a grand total of 0

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? no

67: Do you curse around your parents? if I feel like it. we have a very open relationship

68: Are you happy with where you live? for the most part. I want to travel though

69: Picture of yourself? check out my tagged/me tag

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? monogamous

71: Have you ever been dumped? no

72: What do you most like about making out? someone’s hands all over me. kissing is fun but I just like the closeness even more

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? ...... well. yes. 

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? it’s always mutual or the other initiating 

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? a nice smile

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? my friend Gabe

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? no

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? no

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? quick wit, handsome boys playing with kids, handsome boys playing with PUPPIES

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? probably not

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? yes

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? depends on how deep I’m in lol

83: Do you miss your last sweetie? I miss having him as my buddy but not as my boyfriend

84: Last time you slow danced with someone? last month

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? no

86: How can I win your heart? by being completely & unapologetically yourself & by not playing games with me

87: What is your astrological sign? capricorn but I identify 100% with gemini 

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM? dutch blitz tournament

89: Do you cook? when I have the time

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? back in touch yes, back together no

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? I don’t really. I get wistful when I see other couples sometimes but wholly I’m very happy on my own 

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I’m a serial monogamist but I wouldn’t mind dating casually, I think. Boys are sometimes just too chicken to go for it haha

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? funny, genuine, intelligent, adventurous, honest, Christian

94: Name four things that you wish you had! flawless skin, a million dollars, a golden retriever puppy, a beach house

95: Are you a player? I enjoy flirting but I don’t play with people’s feelings, I don’t think anyway

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? Nope

97: Are you a tease? depends who you ask lol

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? no, although I am mutuals with a lot of my real-life buddies 

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? I don’t know. probably not, if I don’t know. hahaha

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? sure

101: Hugs or Kisses? hugs

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? If I’m really invested in the outcome then yes but if it’s casual then I don’t care

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? their eyes, teeth, and skin

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? yes but not baby. gag

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? no. if I did & we started dating, who’s to say they wouldn’t do exactly the same thing to me? 

106: Do you flirt a lot? guilty as charged

107: Your last kiss? sometime in August 

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? no

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month? no

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be? Logan Lerman 

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next? nope

112: Does someone like you currently? maybe

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone? crushy feelings sure, deep sustaining romantic feelings no

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? relationships probably

115: Ever made out with just a friend? yes

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship? I will be happy with whatever I’m doing at the time! I’m enjoying being single rn because I haven’t been single for more than a total of 6 months since I started dating 4 years ago so this has been good for me haha

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it. well danny you didn’t write me a question so here we are 

#mohawk yeshua #q&a #thanks even though this took me FOREVER haha

[opepin]

january: week three

16: [tumblr deleted my drafts which contained 16 + 17 so i’m not 100% what happened these days] i woke up early to take notes for panorama. kevin was leaving for sf in the afternoon so we had some time together. after taking notes, i watched an episode of supernatural with him before he left. :( then i spent the day cleaning, playing pokemon, and cooking bun nem nuong. i might have beat the elite four in pokemon as well. idk, chill and productive day. i also worked out while watching family guy.

17: i woke up early to do some panorama note taking again. i just did one interview and then got ready for my interview at tandemseven. i ate breakfast, printed out my resumes, and headed out. i got kind of lost on the way but i managed to get there right on time at 1:30 pm. the interview was only 30 minutes long and just talking to them got me excited about working there and helping improve their product. i think it went above average overall but it could have been a bit better? i think i was just nervous and out of breath from rushing to the building. i took some time and decided to go to ogawa coffee to treat myself to sweets. i got the matcha roll cake and it was yum. i spent a good amount of time there before heading back. i went back and did my daily tasks for the rest of the day and played pokemon while talking to winston and peeps. i exercised while watching family guy and yeah. it was another chill and quiet day. i got to talk to kevin for a bit and then went to sleep somewhat late.

18: i just keep waking up later and later...i got up at like 2 pm and then made myself my favorite pb apple english muffins and tried out tea forte's darjeeling tea! it's really delicious. then i applied for jobs, talked to my mom on the phone, and got started making gingko nut and dried bean curd sweet soup. it was my first time making it so i'm not sure if it's sweet enough still :( i kept putting in more rock sugar and ended up putting more in the end so i hope it's enough. the bowl of soup that i drank was pretty bland. i played some pokemon and got back into it after drinking soup and eating bun nem nuong for lunch. i am so close to finishing the pokedex (for the first time ever) so i shall do it! D:< i stopped to exercise though ahha. i did arms and lower back while watching episodes of family guy and then ate a very late "dinner" of english muffins again. i took a quick shower and then headed into bed and i thought i got into bed before 2 am but it was already like 2:30 am. my sleep schedule is so screwed LOL. i got to talk to kevin before going to sleep and didn't have any problems sleeping again with the two blankets and my warm feet from the shower :)

19: mmm, i stayed in bed because of cramps but i eventually got up at 2 pm again lol. i showered in the morning because my hair was grody, i ate breakfast, and i did yoga right after for my very sore muscles. i felt a little light headed doing these things...but i stopped when it was enough. then i found out that my tumblr account was "terminated." why use that word? it's so harsh. so i emailed support and then went on with my day. sigh, it seems like the world just hates me lol. x__x; i just wrote out my day in an email draft and went on with my day. i played some pokemon and also made more noodles and sauce for the leftover bun nem noung. omg there's so much left. i need kevin to help me finish this all T__T i wanted to wear the bag vivian got me for christmas but i saw that it just sags when stuff is put into it. blerp. so i just used my state bag. my stomach hurt as i commuted to pick up kevin from the airport. i got there just as his plane landed and then met with him at baggage claim :3 ehhe. we commuted home together and kevin almost left his luggage on the bus LOLLL. good thing i remembered and we ran for it. we barely made it on the train too. kevin was out of breath...we got home and then ate dinner while watching supernatural. then kevin went to play dota and washed the dishes while i played a bit of pokemon. i got real sleepy at around 12 am but i think we both ended up sleeping at around 1:30 am or so. yoo, that's before 2 am! -pats self on back- LOL.

20: it was a v disastrous morning. i stained my mattress in them morning and it was a pretty big stain T___T so i spent my morning washing my bottoms, the sheets, and the mattress. i felt the mattress was a goner until kevin helped me figure out how to clean it with dish washer soap and then we found out that the cover could be zipped off. it's 100% polyurethane, which shouldn't be washed or dried because it is vinyl (plastic), but i did it anyway on the light delicate cycle without fabric softener and then dried on less dry delicate. everything came out fresh and clean! ((: that was most of my morning and afternoon... i ate brunch first and then did some errands online and my tumblr hasn't been given back to me yet... so i'm still waiting... BUT wait -- there's good news to be heard now! i got a call from the company i was interviewing with and i got the job! ahhh! it's my first full-time job offer ever! it was exciting but also nerve-racking to say yes but i need more time to think about it and look over the offer itself. i'm the type of person to just say yes or no right away, but with jobs, you have to give yourself time!

i have until monday to tell them my decision, but yeah. the package is pretty nice :) i mean, a full-time job doing what i want to do in an environment that is pretty much what i've been looking for is awesome. i talked with winston, michelle, kevin, and vivian about it and i'm gonna go for it. thank you all for supporting me through this really tough time in my life. i would call it my midlife crisis in my early 20s. hopefully, i won't have to go through it again, but if i do, i know that i can get out of it and i'm a stronger person because i've overcome that obstacle before! anyway, the rest of the day i just felt tired. i think it is because of my morning and just thinking about job stuff. i'm really happy but i'm also tired of the whole process. it's been so long. it's like relief but tired relief haha. i did look over the pacakge and then i made myself go ahead and negotiate and ask questions about the package. so i'm scared, but i'm glad i've taken that step to show my value as a designer and worker.

kevin wasn't hungry the rest of the day for some reason....so i had to let him know that we haven't really eaten all day. he made me potstickers and cooked a healthy chicken thigh and steamed veggie dinner with rice of course. i'm so sick of bun nem nuong. he gamed the rest of the day while i just rested. i showered and made the bed with kevin and played pokemon until i got back into it and we ended up sleeping at 3 or 4 am again...derp.

21: we got up late obviously x__x; kevin went climbing and then i did cardio while he was gone. when he got back, he showered and i looked up movie times for 'la la land' or 'split.' apparently, 'split' did very well on rotten tomatoes too! we also finally bought another floor lamp for our room. we headed to the movies and found out that both movies were basically sold out so we rq'd and went to the mall where kevin got his battery replaced on his iphone. we had an hour to kill at first so we went to the food court and got dinner. we got food from this small chain called, 'chicken now.' it was owned by an asian family so they also served bubble tea! we shared four chicken tenders, coleslaw, fries, and a large passion fruit green tea bubble tea. everything was pretty good! the bubble tea was a bit too sweet, but still better than the one we had in st. louis LOL. we finished eating right in time so then we headed back and was told to come back again in like 1-2 hours. 

so we stopped by bj's and got some new sponges and garbage bags and then headed back. we watched an episode of supernatural and played some pokemon before driving back to the mall. the mall is like 5 minutes away btw. we went into sur la table for a bit and then got kevin's phone and headed back. kevin got a bit hungry so he finished all of the bun nem nuong while we watched more supernatural. then he gamed for the rest of the night. i was pretty grumpy because of pms, job stress, and things have felt a bit different lately ever since kevin got back from san francisco. his eating schedule has been off, which affects my eating schedule, and he's also been gaming a lot. so yeah. i showered and got into bed real early. i watched some pokemon in bed before ko'ing at 1 or 2 am. my tumblr still isn't back yet...

22: mmm woke up pretty unhappy. i just brushed, ate cereal, and went straight to cleaning everything. i got an email about my salary negotiation and it went well (: we made a compromise and i will be working full-time at tandemseven now! woot! i talked to kevin for a bit after he vacuumed the room, ate lunch, planned meals for the week, and then headed over to kam man. it was a pretty quick shopping trip. we stopped by deco to grab kevin's wallet (he forgot it on accident) and a coupon so we could get $2.50 back on our purchase of sponges from bj's. we got our money back and also bought some maple syrup and pork cutlets. then we got back and kevin cooked salmon, asparagus, and mushrooms for dinner. i watched some youtube videos and then we watched two episodes of supernatural. he left to climb after. then i exercised while watching more family guy. i ate too much so i had really bad acid reflux Dx kevin got back and he showered and then went to game. i washed the dishes, showered, and headed into bed early. i spent some time emailing fidelity and my recruiter before that. i went to sleep at 1 am or so. lol my tumblr is still not back up.