#adultchildrenofnarcissists | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

letsgetyourshifttogether · 1 year

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As a fellow adult child of a narcissist, I know first hand what a complete shitstorm this time of year can be. It can be really challenging to keep your boundaries when the manipulation tactics are in full force. It’s important to know what to look out for, and stay grounded in reality when this happens to prevent any disappointment when the cycle of abuse inevitably repeats if you give in to your narc parent’s demands for supply and attention. This is why each year I host a holiday workshop for the family scapegoat. If you want to… ✅ Start setting or stick to your low or no contact boundaries with narcissistic or toxic family members this year ✅ Gain tools to be able to deal with the narcissist at the family dinner if low/no contact isn't possible for you at this time ✅ Learn how to release the emotions of guilt and shame that narcissists use to try and control their targets ✅ Understand how to deal with people who say "FaMiLy iS eVeRyThInG" and have no real understanding that for some people, family is a great source of damage to their sense of self and ability to feel safe in the world But you don’t ❌ Know if you have the courage to set or keep boundaries, and are afraid of a potential smear campaign ❌ Want to waste more time on strategies that don't work ❌ Think it will be as bad this year, maybe the narcissist in your family changed and will keep being nice to you moving forward? ❌ Know where to start or if it's possible to get through the next couple of weeks as un-triggered as possible Then Surviving the Holidays When You're the Family Scapegoat is perfect for you! The workshop is happening LIVE this Friday at 12:00 pm EST (replay access will be available for 90 days if you can’t make it live), so make sure you register before then so you can secure your spot! Register today for only $57 (or included in tier 2 of my community membership!) at the link in my bio!🔥🔥🔥 #Narcissisticmother #daughtersofnarcissisticmothers #adultchildrenofnarcissists #scapegoat #blacksheepofthefamily #blacksheep #manipulators #estranged #motherwound #cyclebreakers #dysfunctionalfamily #narcissisticabuserecovery #redflags #toxicmother #toxicfamily https://www.instagram.com/p/CmbXMX5sRoX/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#narcissisticmother #daughtersofnarcissisticmothers #adultchildrenofnarcissists #scapegoat #blacksheepofthefamily #blacksheep #manipulators #estranged #motherwound #cyclebreakers #dysfunctionalfamily #narcissisticabuserecovery #redflags #toxicmother #toxicfamily

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pokingholes-cptsdwarrior · 3 years

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"Daughters and sons of narcissistic parents are special. They survive the most intimate abuse: that of a parent with limited capacity to love." ~ Dr. Karyl McBride This is so true. The people who are supposed to cherish and protect you from all harm are the ones hurting you. It's the ultimate betrayal. #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticparents #narcissisticmother #donm #aconm #adultchildrenofnarcissists #cptsd #complexPTSD #childhoodtrauma #DevelopmentalTrauma #childhoodptsd #ptsd #trauma #cptsdrecovery #tellingmystory #sharingmystory #youtuber #blogger #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalhealthrecovery @pokingholes_cptsdwarrior https://www.instagram.com/p/CNMb2SjD6u1/?igshid=1gebxqw0l0f0t

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sewrussia · 3 years

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Posted @withregram • @empower.therapyandcoaching This has come up in both of the groups I led this week. Putting everyone else’s needs first. Doing what makes other people feel comfortable and happy - sometimes at the cost of our own joy. ⁠ ⁠ People-pleasing is (brilliant) adaptive strategy that grows from a deep-rooted fear of abandonment. When we people-please, we turn on ourselves. We abandon our needs and desires because choosing ourselves feels like it’s going to threaten the relationship. It’s really scary for that child inside that is afraid of the loss of connection. And so we please to survive. ⁠ ⁠ Underneath your secondary survival tactics is a fountain, abundantly overflowing with wisdom, strength, and worthiness.⁠ ⁠ And when we hold the little person inside that contorted in all kinds of ways in order to get love – and say “My darling, you make so much sense. I see all the ways that you helped us to survive. You don’t need to do that anymore. I’ve got you ” < We begin to heal and to allow ourselves to experience who we are underneath all of the hustling for approval. We start to feel safe as we are. And what a gift that is for our young parts.⁠ ⁠ #aca #acoa #adultchildrenofalcoholics #adultchildrenofemotionallyimmatureparents #aa #boundaries #settingboundaries #freetherapy #traumatherapy #healthyboundaries #coda #codependency #codependentnomore #codependencyrecovery #addictionrecovery #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #adultchildrenofnarcissists #narcissisticmother #narcinon #adultchildrenofnarcissists #healingfromnarcissism https://www.instagram.com/p/CSKNXQhnV-2/?utm_medium=tumblr

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measuringlife · 3 years

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Well this post from @the_female_lead of @blcksmth so eloquently and briefly hit the nail on the head for me. . I can’t quite put my finger on how I’ve felt in the almost 3 weeks since I left my 15 year career in education and moved onto a new career in the private sector, But I think a good analogy is when you’ve had a sore muscle and you’ve learned to just grit your teeth and deal with the pain, to now having no muscle pain at all. . Fear can hold you hostage, it did for me at least. I am so proud of the work I’ve done on my healing journey these last four years, all while remaining in the same environment that caused me to need so much healing. I wish I hadn’t been so scared to go, but here I am living in a whole new world. One where I can’t imagine being abused and stressed over and over again in the way my previous life abused and stressed me out. . I think part of it for me was feeling safe in the abuse. There was no fear of the bad time to come because you were just living in it always. Whereas my new job is a much happier and friendlier place and yes I’m sure the dark clouds will come from time to time, but I can hang onto to the Hope and knowledge of the return of sunny skies. . #jobchange #careerchange #selfcare #healingjourney #toxicworkplace #adultchildrenofalcoholics #adultchildren #adultchildrenofnarcissists https://www.instagram.com/p/CQhQLPIh6jY/?utm_medium=tumblr

#jobchange #careerchange #selfcare #healingjourney #toxicworkplace #adultchildrenofalcoholics #adultchildren #adultchildrenofnarcissists

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tothetuneofme · 3 years

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Narcissistic Parents

Written by me on 13 Feb 2012 for a college English class...

Adult Child of a Narcissistic Parent: Breaking the Cycle

Coming into adult-hood I have begun to realize that my turbulent child-hood is not the issue that I struggle with the most. Specifically, the issue is internalizing the fact that being an adult child of a narcissistic mother is in no way a fault of mine and also breaking the cycle with regards to my own children. I wish that my memories were empty. I do not want to remember hurtful words and the absence of love.

My mother had me at a very young age and she always claimed that my father was abusive towards her. My parents were married shortly before I was born and were divorced by the time my second birthday came. She was remarried soon after the divorce. My two siblings were born and I always felt the difference between them and me. I felt a distance between their nuclear family and my presence as the child of an abusive relationship. I felt resented.

My step-father took my siblings to live with him after what would be my mother’s second divorce. I am sure that must have been awful for her but, I was still there. I remained in her home and endured the criticism---She gave it so freely---on a daily basis. The abuse she dealt out was of course never her fault. Sometimes the abuse was carried out so cunningly that it could be and was denied and almost never questioned by outsiders. For this reason I find it challenging to describe what happened during that time to my family or even my close friends. Her actions were completely different in public than they were in private. Even now my mother refuses to admit causing me any emotional or physical pain.

You could say that out of my mother’s three children I was the scapegoat. My two siblings were golden children. They could ask for just about anything they wanted and they got it. She blatantly showed favoritism towards my siblings and was very unfair in her treatment of the three of us; actions which she continues to this day. This has caused a strained relationship between my siblings and me. I rarely talk to either of them and never my mother. I hear that she is very involved in my younger brother’s life.

The type of abuse, I now realize, happened not just sporadically but throughout my life and its effects have been harsh. The lack of emotional connection I desired as a child has caused me to build walls in many of my adult relationships. At times, I even find myself with feelings of unease when my children show their emotions. Even though emotions are tough for me to experience sometimes, I listen to my children. I ask them how their day at school went. I spend quality time with them. I tell them each and every day how much I love them. I am somewhat able to recognize the narcissistic tendencies that I most certainly learned growing up and I do my best to avoid them.

Being an adult child of a narcissistic parent, just like any other trauma, is something that does require a recovery period. For me this means that I have no contact with my mother. This no contact decision of mine was made nearly six months ago so that I may also avoid the abuse that would have certainly continued well into my adult life. It is almost like I was not breathing before and that I can now. I am far from recovered but now I can take solace in knowing that there is nothing wrong with me and that the smokescreen of being the sometimes forgotten, sometimes evil child will not affect who I am today; if I do not allow it to do so. I feel that I have the strength and knowledge to break this painful cycle.

Tisha

#adultchildrenofnarcissists #PTSD narcassisticabuse #breakthecycle

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littlebent-notbroken · 3 years

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I truly wish there were a magic phrase that would get abusers to stop abusing. Originally, I wanted to do a “script” or sorts—what to say back when someone says… The tricky part about confronting someone who’s gaslighting is that they’ll dig their heels in deeper, claim that’s not what’s happening, and turn it around on you. But don’t lose hope. In my experience, one of the most successful ways to deal with an emotional abuser isn’t to convince them you’re right or even to convince them of what they’re doing—but to learn to trust my gut and my memories. Once I learned to stand firm in my truth, in what I knew to be true, I wouldn’t allow myself to be pushed around anymore. Please, dear reader, I implore you to take all that energy you’re using to convince someone that x, y, or z happened to you…and channel it into compassionately standing in what you already know to be true, without the need for their validation. They will not give it to you if it means they “lose.” As the saying goes: you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Bye Felicia! #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingisabuse #gaslighter #toxicparents #motherwound #reparenting #memory #mentalabuse #abuse #innerchild #consciousparenting #woundedchild #selfhealing #selflove #selfcompassion #childhoodemotionalneglect #adultchildrenofnarcissists #abusiveparents #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #gaslightingtips #selflove #selfcompassion https://www.instagram.com/p/CHgeffDjZD0/?igshid=1hpgsfr6eee4d

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risingphoenix87 · 6 years

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#Repost @theblacksheepsurvives (@get_repost) ・・・ ✋🏼 letting people get one over on you because they are family <<< Life's too short to be a DOORMAT. #loveyourselffirst #ACON #adultchildrenofnarcissists #narc #narcissist #family #friends #theblacksheepsurvives #theblacksheep #forgivenessisearned #selfcare (at Montgomery County, Maryland) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoETg9pnK1l/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=cmzmofunl955

#repost #loveyourselffirst #acon #adultchildrenofnarcissists #narc #narcissist #family #friends #theblacksheepsurvives #theblacksheep #forgivenessisearned #selfcare

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yesimmortalspiritblog · 2 years

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~~~Immature Ego~~~ At 3:00am, Wednesday, March 23, 2022, the Lord nudged my heart and woke me up with these words. As an ambassador of Christ, I am honored to type His words and share with the world. It is okay to no longer be a slave to the lead of the ego's ways. It is time to confront it in love, forgiveness and peace, for it cannot survive the brilliance of your light. Do not be afraid, for God is with you through the duration of time. If you knew that Christ walks alongside of you, fear would flee into the mist of the sun and you would have no qualms to surrender in love and courage. This frees you from the chambers of ego. Peace all you majestic souls of love and light!🕊🙏💞💞💞🕊 #immatureego #immaturity #adultchildrenofnarcissists #adultchildren #growup #timetogrowup #timetobefree #freefromego #thepoetslist #thepoetspost #thepoets #thepoetsanonymous #majesticsouls #majesticspirits #godiswithyou🛐 #godiswithyoualways #quotesandnotes #quotesandsayings #quotesandmore #podcastfortruth #timetoriseup #donotbeafrai̇d #standincourage #loveandforgiveness💞 #lovevibrations #letitripple #abolishego #itstimetotakeofftheworldawaits🔥 #itstimetothinkmajor #itstimetoshine

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trirocks-blog · 5 years

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#alwaysspeakyourtruth comes from a place of introspection! Should you call someone a name? Be belligerent? Of course not! If something is weighing on you and you need that person to understand what they did or said is not cool then say it! Do you need to mimic their delivery? No! Remember this is about introspection. Things are said in the heat of the moment but to put out a fire you don’t use more! There are all kinds of reasons people do what they do but accountability is vital for growth! Sometimes people will dodge accountability so their whole life framing doesn’t crumble. (Which is what really needs to happen in most cases)Their sense of worth is tied into a dogma even if it’s proven to be faulty and causes more harm than good. Holding on to belief system that only serves themselves and no one else. Can you change that? No and it’s not your job to but you can prompt your own growth and courage. We’re you the one who didn’t understand or misinterpreted? Ask questions but don’t be silent when you’ve been hurt! Don’t ruminate! Speak and heal! You will learn one way or the other. Some people are programmed to only think of themselves! Usually a narcissist parent or parents are the root, who did not value their child’s needs and that child grows up to be a Narcissist themselves. Don’t even try to convince a narc that they are a narc! It will never work! They just dig in deeper to the patterns they’ve learned. An overwrite must come from within and it’s usually a traumatic experience that triggers, “This is not working for me!” It’s not your job to do this for them. We live in a narcissistic society at the moment and we must look inside at our own patterns! So speak your truth for you and hope for the best for them. #notyourjobtofixthem #keeptruetoyourself #introspection #firedoesntcalmafire #adultchildrenofnarcissists #noonechangesyoubutyou #thisreallifebooks https://www.instagram.com/p/ByXWi95C7c3/?igshid=1kdurlc8zwmjt

#alwaysspeakyourtruth #notyourjobtofixthem #keeptruetoyourself #introspection #firedoesntcalmafire #adultchildrenofnarcissists #noonechangesyoubutyou #thisreallifebooks

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i-mpower · 5 years

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The best revenge is ABSOLUTELY nothing. Heal, live free and move on my friend. . #truthteller #speaker #triggers #personalgrowthjourney #survivalmode #selfmastery #selfaware #mindsetshift #selfhealing #nocontact #invalidation #narcissist #selfreflection #spiritualenlightenment #empaths #resting #adultchildrenofnarcissists #toxicpeople #mentalhealthawarness #unhealthyrelationships #boundaries #familyrelationships #mixedemotions #codependency #reactiveabuse #toxicrelationships #selflovejourney https://www.instagram.com/p/BvIYwrwhucI/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=pyigweo9s6e8

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letsgetyourshifttogether · 1 year

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Supply is your emotional reaction, energy, attention, praise, being in a bamboozled and easier to control state, etc. That's what their game is all about, and yes it is that pathetic. Narcissists will manipulate their targets and do whatever it takes to maintain control over them. They may pretend to apologize, promise to change, attend one therapy session and be "cured", or even behave the same way they did during the love bombing stage you so desperately want to get back to, but know this is all an act. This is all just a ploy to keep you hooked and under their control. It's important to remember that a the narcissist's mask will always slip off! No matter how confidently they lie to you, the same pattern always plays out again and again and again. They enjoy this dynamic, it makes them feel powerful and in control and they do not have any empathy for their target. All they care about is getting supply! Don't forget - the narcissist's need for supply will always come before your need for some sanity and peace in your life. It's just not worth what little time we have on this planet to continue engaging with someone like this, even if it's family. If you're starting to see things for what they are and are ready to heal from narcissistic abuse, it's important to seek support. Being in a narcissistically abusive relationship whether with a significant other, family member, or other close relationship is extremely isolating and damaging to one's emotional and mental health. That's why I created an exclusive support community for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here you can connect with others who understand what you're going through, share your story, and receive support and guidance as you navigate healing and recovery in a safe space. To join, just go to my profile link or drop the word community in my DM's and I'll send it to you! #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #emotionalabuseawareness #healingfromnarcissisticabuse #narcissisticabuseeducation #adultchildrenofnarcissists https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn0CIxxryCN/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #emotionalabuseawareness #healingfromnarcissisticabuse #narcissisticabuseeducation #adultchildrenofnarcissists

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rungazellerun-blog · 5 years

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⁣ Why are boundaries so confusing in a psychologically abusive relationship?⁣ ⁣ harping on boundaries as I fight getting the hiccups. ⁣ ⁣ #psychologicalabuse #boundaries #healthyboundaries #reactiveabuse #respond #dontreact #dontreactrespond #healingfromnarcissisticabuse #acon #adultchildrenofnarcissists #healingfromabuse #toxicrelationships #toxic #toxicfamily #mentalhealth #healthyrelationships #selfhealing https://www.instagram.com/p/BuW7c1Yg6TA/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1az6dr7z5tb1d

#psychologicalabuse #boundaries #healthyboundaries #reactiveabuse #respond #dontreact #dontreactrespond #healingfromnarcissisticabuse #acon #adultchildrenofnarcissists #healingfromabuse #toxicrelationships #toxic #toxicfamily #mentalhealth #healthyrelationships #selfhealing

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measuringlife · 3 years

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I know this holiday season is hard for a lot of folks for so many reasons, but this is shaping to be my best one yet.  . The holidays have been painful for me for years and year, both personally and the images of others holidays that were in stark contrast to mine. This year seeing everyone’s posts of small gatherings and feeling “normal” was nice for a change.  . I actually like my small holiday celebrations that have become our tradition, but I’ve always felt shame. I don’t know why, likely the social pressure of the holidays. But I hope after this year people can better understand the love and joy that can still make a holiday special with only another person or two.  . #holidays #dysfunctionalfamily #adultchildrenofalcoholics #adultchildrenofnarcissists #holidaytrauma #choosehappiness #choosejoy https://www.instagram.com/p/CIE1kc-BSyg/?igshid=1b1mgovr3ej3

#holidays #dysfunctionalfamily #adultchildrenofalcoholics #adultchildrenofnarcissists #holidaytrauma #choosehappiness #choosejoy

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charlebaltimore420-blog · 5 years

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Keep this in mind. •⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ •⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ •⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ -⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ #truthteller #houstonspeaker #healthyboundaries #personalgrowthjourney #overwhelmed #selfmastery #selfaware #mindsetshift #selfhealing #nocontact #relationshipcoach #narcissist #fearlessmotivation #selfreflection #spiritualenlightenment #empaths #redflag #adultchildrenofnarcissists #narcissiticmother #toxicpeople #mentalhealthawarness #unhealthyrelationships #boundaries #familyrelationships #mixedemotions #reactiveabuse #toxicrelationships #selflovejourney #baltimore422 (at Cape Girardeau, Missouri) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtwqAKLAWp_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=178re2bdo1top

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littlebent-notbroken · 3 years

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This post was inspired by the question “what is considered the ‘first step’ on a reparenting journey?” (See my lengthy response in my story!) And that was a VERY GOOD and VERY HARD question to answer. It really depends on the person because everyone has such unique wounds and everyone has a different catalyst for healing. Where I started could be similar and completely different from someone else’s beginning. But with any healing journey, I think the “first step” is taking an objective, non-judgemental look at ourselves and acknowledging and becoming aware and conscious of harmful thoughts, reactions, or triggers. And reparenting comes in by seeing how those thoughts, reactions, and triggers stem from a need not met in childhood. So if the wound is hyper-independence, maybe in childhood your caregivers were unable to provide basic needs and you had learn how to take care at yourself younger than you should have (make yourself breakfast, lunch for school, dinner after school, taking public transit to get to and from places, etc). And this can show up in adulthood as not relinquishing any control, no one can be trusted to take care of things because they’ll just let you down... And reparenting could look like the wise inner adult saying, “doing everything yourself is causing burnout and unnecessary stress. see who can support you and where else you can be supported.” (Or something) Anyway “step one”: become aware and conscious of wounds. . . . #reparenting #healing #healingjourney #healingstory #innerchildwork #innerchild #woundedinnerchild #childhood #childhoodtrauma #traumarecovery #consciousparenting #woundedchild #selfhealing #selflove #selfcompassion #childhoodemotionalneglect #adultchildrenofnarcissists #abusiveparents #themotherwound #motherwound #emotionalabusesurvivor https://www.instagram.com/p/CF5okMBjXW-/?igshid=prrgssjbu7dg

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risingphoenix87 · 6 years

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#Repost @soydivison (@get_repost) ・・・ 1-800-STOP-LETTING-OTHERS-INVALIDATE-WHAT-MAKES-YOU-HAPPY I needed this message today... #atheistwitch #narcissisticabuse #gaslighting #witchcraft #abusiveparents #adultchildrenofnarcissists #toxicpeople #toxicparents (at Gaithersburg, Maryland) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bne7-MonOxu/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=6rbgnvz8bf6i

#repost #atheistwitch #narcissisticabuse #gaslighting #witchcraft #abusiveparents #adultchildrenofnarcissists #toxicpeople #toxicparents

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