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msexcelfractal · 7 months

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I used to believe that bugs were little robots. Lots of people do, it’s the prevailing opinion next to “i’ve never thought about it”. Then I watched a mother wasp mourn her child. An animal who stretched after a nap and did little dances when her daughters returned from flight. Now she is opening her fourth capped hexagon and finding a pale white stillborn. She grasps the baby gently in her jaws and does not put it down for over 24 hours. Carries her loss, pacing back and forth the length of her enclosure. It is not the behavior of a robot.

So I think about the prior odds. Scenario A, bugs are robots. Why do I believe that? Because they are so tiny. Because if they are not robots then my world [where “insect exterminator” is a job title and I can buy a can of mass death at home depot] does not make sense. They must be insignificant.

The wasp makes me reconsider. Scenario B: her kind are like mine. cry when we are sad and happy when we play. Has this feature evolved many times? Or is it common to all the children of the precambrian worm? Every shark in the ocean swimming in their own feelings. Every bird and every cat knowing the thrill of being alive? The wasp made me realize that my whole moral picture is wrong. We’re not alone on this planet,

#the prevailing thepry is bee dances communicate info #i dont think thats all #they dance because they are happy to see each other #the info is communicated by antennae tapping #I think people hate wasps because they remind us that insects are not insignificant.#If I disrespect her I can be stung - she is no longer insignificant.#bug #interesting: tunicates are closer to human ancestry than arthropods. adult tunicates have secondarily lost concsness - baby tuni r lil worms #I love wasps. I love the caterpillars who are eaten by the wasps. I no longer see a contradiction.#(The contradiction is industrial humanity terraforming six continents in 400 years)#the contradiction is 100 billion living minds in cages #the problem (when humans treat humans like animals) is that humans treat animals like dirt to step on #5AM

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trans-axolotl · 7 days

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content note: discussion of suicide.

this next monday will be the six year anniversary of losing one of my friends to suicide.

when he died, my high school barely mentioned his death, even though for other students who died by things like car crashes or illness, there were so many public expressions of grief. they believed that having any memorials for a student who died by suicide would encourage other people to die the same way. in their rush to erase the circumstances of his death, they erased the memory of his life.

there are so many things i am angry at that high school about in terms of how they treated mental health (mandatory reporting and collaborating with cops, their refusal to recognize the ways in which that system led to peer-to-peer crisis support, their refusal to recognize the ways that trying to keep each other alive through trial and error was scary and exhausting, carceral disciplinary policies, etc etc etc). but i think one of the things i am still angriest about is the way they enforced shame around his death. it felt like they were retroactively blaming him for the constellation of circumstances that made suicide an option in his life. it felt like they were blaming those of us who missed him and cared about him and wanted to grieve him. it made those of us still there who were actively suicidal feel even more scared about the reaction if we did reach out for help from one of those mythical safe adults.

as an adult now involved in psych abolition/mad liberation work, it makes me so fucking mad to see the ways in which he was discarded by people in authority positions. and the older i get, the more options i have found in my life for making sense of the world and finding healing and community and support which were never available to him because he died when he was 16 and the only things offered to him were a carceral psychiatric system that blamed him for his own fucking death. it feels so incredibly unfair.

i miss him and i think i always will; i can't remember his laugh or the sound of his voice or his favorite color any more and that aches. this grief is so heavy and it feels harder in a new way each year, when i become older than he will ever be. sometimes meeting new comrades or seeing new anticarceral suicide support models hurts because i wish so fucking bad that we had that back then. i remember how close we came to losing even more people that year and i know it is simple fucking luck that i'm still here when he's not.

i remember another letter (never sent) that i wrote to a friend while they were in an ICU bed after a suicide attempt when i didn't know if they would live or not. i have spent so much time in the past 10 years begging for anything to keep me and my friends alive, but even in that letter i knew that there is so much fucking violence that is hidden beneath psychiatric logics of cure and safety that promise a "solution" to suicide. I knew that institutionalization, coercion, and shame would not have helped build a life more liveable for him or **** or any of the people i've loved and lost since.

there needs to be more fucking options for care and support that aren't so incredibly cruel to suicidal people. i know so many people doing incredible work in alternatives, peer respite, a million different frameworks for healing and liberation. but it makes me so mad every day i have to live in a world where there are still people restrained, locked up in psych wards, having all autonomy and personhood taken away from them. knowing there are dozens of people every day getting blamed for their deaths the same way he was blamed for his.

i miss him. i cared so fucking much for him. and he died by suicide, and all of those things are true. he has been dead for 6 years and he lived before that and the people who loved him want to remember all of him; our celebrations of his life should not require hiding the way that he died.

Image description: [1000 origami cranes in all different colors and patterns that are tied together in strings of 25]

(these were the 1000 cranes we made to give to his parents, in memorial and recognition of how much he meant to us.)

#personal #suicide tw #suicide mention tw #psych abuse tw #psych ward tw #ok to reblog if u want #psych abolition #mad liberation #psych survivor #it's a lot of grief hours over here and will be for a while all week i think #lots of grief so many ways this year for so many people #but this week. his memory . my grief for him #is hitting especially hard. i think partially because of all the transitions in my life. i'm graduating college. he will never become an ad #adult.#i think i might ask my roommates if they will go do something to remember him with me. maybe making origami cranes and sending them off in #the river. or writing things down and burning them #idk. grief is hard #six years in grief is different. but hard

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caihosreads · 9 months

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“ Keep talking, Wraith. Don’t slip away from me. “

Inspired by Six of Crows Kaz and Inej, one of my favourite scenes from the book.

They kinda sorta very loosely gave it to us in Shadow and Bone where she got stabbed but also not really, so I’m interested to see how it all plays out in the spin off series…

Which crow/s do you wanna see next? And what do you wanna see them doing?

( e.g. Matthias and his fellow Druskelle tracking down an inferni )

#caihosreads #shadow and bone #young adult #six of crows #kaz brekker #kaz x inej #inej gafha #six of crows fanart #crooked kingdom #kaz dirtyhands brekker

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serien-grl-22 · 7 months

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Be like Kaz

Kaz has 99 problems, but neither racism, sexism or homophobia are one of them.

#kaz brekker #kanej #kaz x inej #inej ghafa #six of crows #leigh bardugo #shadow and bone #zoyalai #the darkling #young adult #throne of glass #acotar #feysand #the cruel prince #rule of wolves #wesper #helnik #crooked kingdom #magic

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starry-bi-sky · 4 months

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Clone^2 Damian

If you really think about, Damian's situation in the clone^2 au is... kinda tragic? Especially in the early months of his arrival. Like,,, think about it. Damian has always known he was a clone of Damian Wayne, that he was a copy of the blood son. There was nothing 'original' about him, not even his name (of which at least Danny has that). He was just... a replacement. A disposable one, to boot.

And he knew that, to an extent, by the time he was six years old. he might not have been actively acknowledging it -- he's six years old -- but deep down he knew. And like, he's six years old. Every small child craves the love and affection of an adult, especially their parents, and even though he knew he was clone, I imagine he still considered - and still does consider, somewhat - Talia and Bruce as his mother and father. And I really doubt he was... getting it?

Now, I know Talia loves Damian, her son. At least in some interpretations she does, and in this au she does. But... a clone of her son? I'm not so certain if she would have the same affection for baby Dames as she would for Damian. I don't think she would treat him badly, but I don't think Talia would treat him warmly either. Kinda just, distant. Colder than she would have been with OG Damian.

And, I know I've mentioned Damian's arrival from Danny's point of view, and its kind of comical kind of insane from his perspective -- a little boy clone of Damian Wayne falls through a portal and immediately attacks him. That sounds like a bad joke.

But, if you think of this from Damian's point of view? It's like he just got dropped into a scary movie. Like, think about it. You're six years old, and suddenly a portal, as green and as swirling as your grandfather's pools, opens up beneath your feet and sucks you through.

After an intense bout of vertigo, you end up in a massive, urban city -- completely different from the rural mountain palace that you lived in for the last six years of your life, and in this city, you don't know any of the language. You don't know what anyone is saying, you can't read any of the signs - you are completely stranded, away from home.

And then, to make things worse, you're facing a figure with a terrifying mask and eyes as burning green as the portal you fell through. Of course Damian's first instinct, six years old, is to attack. He's terrified.

And this figure, he's not a good fighter, but he's fast, and he dodges you quickly. He grabs your sword with his hands, and tries to restrain you, saying something in a language you don't know. Naturally, Damian is just scared. He's six! He'd just be learning how to read if he was normal child going to school.

This figure halfway through the fight yanks off his mask -- he realizes you're scared -- and looking at you now, is a youthful version of your father. This is a clone of your dad, someone you have never met but, six years old, still wants to. Damian gets defensive. This is an imposter.

But this imposter eventually gets you home with him - and he's using his little box, his phone, to communicate with you through a mechanical voice speaking in arabic. and it's frustrating. The boy, the imposter, can say whatever to you just fine, but trying to talk back is a hassle and a half. He's six, he doesn't have that much patience.

He wants to go home.

And so he keeps trying to run away. He keeps trying to find out of this hellish concrete jungle, and he keeps getting lost. It's loud, and busy, and there are people talking to you and you don't understand them, and there are rules and signs you don't understand - Damian tries to cross the street and nearly gets hit by a car. He doesn't know how the road signs work, he was never taught. They didn't get to that.

And he gets lost. And it gets dark, and Damian is brave, but he is six, and this is the worst stress he's been under in all his six years of life. He wants, desperately more than anything, to go home. Why wouldn't he? The only stable... semi-stable environment he was in just got ripped out from under his feet, literally! He wants his mother.

And it's not happening.

But there's something good to be said, at least. The imposter that looks like his father always comes and finds him, no matter what. He could have left that morning, and he will find Damian at midnight, frazzled and worried, and carrying an extra jacket with him because it is cold in Amity Park and Damian is six years old.

And sometimes Damian attacks him - he's scared and stressed and he doesn't want to be here. And every time he catches the sword. Even though Damian can see it cut into his hand and pearls of blood well up and stains his fingers. Even though Damian can see him wince in pain and bite his lip, he still catches it.

But with that little box, he coaxes Damian to come back with him. It's cold, it's dark, Amity Park is unsafe at night. They can figure something out tomorrow, please. And every time, he agrees, reluctantly. And the imposter takes the extra jacket he brought with -- a flannel, a hoodie, a jacket -- and he wraps it around him. It's warm, Damian's clothes are not that thick, and even though he thinks he might hate this imposter, he still sticks close to his legs as he leads him down the street.

And sometimes the imposter carries him, because Damian's shoes are not that thick, and he cuts his foot on broken glass while they're walking home. The imposter sits in the bathroom with him and carefully cleans the cut out, and makes sure it doesn't get infected.

There's hope you know, he still has it. His mother will be looking for him. She'll be worried. He's important to them. Damian may not be the original, but he is still a blood son. He is still her son. She will come find him. This nightmare will end soon. He can go home.

And then weeks pass, and nothing. Then months, and nothing. His family is not coming for him, and it hurts. Hurts more than anything. And yet while that happens, the boy he's attacked, and hurt, teaches himself arabic in order to speak to him. He takes Damian out of the house one afternoon and buys him new clothes, or tries to. And then he keeps buying him new clothes. He gives him blankets and gives up his bed to him until they can get him one himself, and steadily he teaches Damian english.

This boy is kind. Kinder than Damian's ever experienced, and he doesn't know what to do with it. He's devastated by the fact that he is not as important to his family as his family is to him. What do you do when you're six years old and you learn something like that? When a random stranger who looks like your father is kinder to you, and cares more about you than your family did?

And then Damian tells him he's a clone. He's Damian Wayne's clone, and he tells him his purpose - that their grandfather made him to kill him. And the boy, the imposter, Damian thinks he probably already knows that he's a clone. But he doesn't say that. He just nods, and asks him if he wants to tell his original about him.

Damian says no. He doesn't want to. He's tired of living in the shadow of his original. He wants to keep this to himself. This is his. For once, all of this is his.

And to his surprise, the imposter doesn't try and convince him otherwise. He just nods, and says okay. And when Damian asks why, the imposter - his brother - looks at him and says.

"I don't care about Damian Wayne. I care about you." And in Damian's gobsmacked silence, his brother continues. He tells him that if Damian doesn't want to tell his original that he exists, then they don't need to. They don't need to worry about the LoA going after him, because clearly if his 'grandfather' needs to make a clone of Damian in order to take him out, then whatever it was that Damian Wayne was doing to keep himself safe, was working.

"Wayne already has people in his corner, he's got Gotham's army of vigilantes to keep himself safe." his brother says with his eyes as blue as moonlight. "You, however. Do not." And he continues, and says that if Damian Wayne has the same training as Damian does, then he will be fine. He doesn't need to be aware of his clone. Because if DW doesn't know about Damian, then the LoA doesn't either.

And here's the thing. Damian would not have survived in the LoA for long. Not as a clone. No matter what, he was going to die no matter what he did, and sooner rather than later. The sword of Damocles was always hanging above his head in the League of Assassins.

That portal, and meeting Danny, saved his life. There's no way around it. And to an extent Damian knows this even at six years old. He may not be aware that he would've died, but he knows that meeting Danny was the best thing to happen to him.

It's no wonder after that, that Damian is as clingy to Danny as he is. Danny is the first person he's met to offer him unconditional love, with no strings attached, only pure affection.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpdc #dpxdc crossover #clone^2 #like god can you imagine how scared he must've been? how afraid? he just wants his mom - only to realize he doesnt even matter to her #dpxdc au #danny fenton is not the ghost king #this poor kid man. no wonder he latched onto danny the moment he gave up on the league like a leech. he's a six year old kid man and #it doesnt matter how smart he is or how mature he acts. he still is six years old. he still needs that validation and affection from adults #or from people older than him. and his emotional needs were just not being met in the league.#cue the song “two” from sleeping at last - some of their songs are very clone^2 honestly.#'sweetheart you look a little tired. when did you last eat? come in and make yourself right at home. stay as long as you need.'#'tell me is something wrong? if something's wrong you can count on me'#'its okay if you can't find the words. let me take your coat and this weight off of your shoulders'#'like a force to be reckoned with. am i the ocean or a gentle kiss. i will love you with every single thing i have'#'like a tidal wave i'll make a mess. or calm waters if that serves you best'#'i will love you without any strings attached'#like just. just *imagine* being in damian's shoes during all of this. he's *six* you guys. i've worked with six year olds and they're #pretty independent but they're still six. they get excited when they see their parents and they get upset when an adult is angry with them.#they're still developing their motor skills. they're still developing everything else!

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leekeyrouz · 8 months

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#k!nk community #bd/sm community #sexy content #adult work #adult entertainment #adult model #female bodybuilder #six pac abs #abdominals #girl muscle #dominate girls #girls with tattoos #fit girls #girlblogging

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fhryiis · 8 months

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Deleted scene from lmk's S4 special (#attendible information 100%)

(More of my Au!!! :D) Macaque didn't tell anyone yet. Probably because he finds involuntarily becoming a dad embarrassing, or because of the literal war going on, I dunno. Either way he was worried sick about her the whole time, and sent a shadow to watch over her just in case anything happened.

BONUS:

Also, you know it, English isn't my first language.

#drawing #art #illustration #monkie kid #lego monkie kid #lmk #liu'er mihou #six eared macaque #bai he #lmk macaque #lmk bai he #lmk sun wukong #sun wukong #monkey king #beach scene 🗣#i think i'm finally managing to draw adults who look like adults #yippieee #drawing sunglasses is hard

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pamgkrthwrites · 5 months

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Heyyy! May I humbly request for a oneshot of Nezha, Wukong, & Macaque (separately) getting pegged by Dom Fem reader?

I cannot find enough Fem Dom fics, lmao. Pls feed me

I am mama bird, I will feed you well my child.

Warning, the following content is for an 18+ audience. If you are under the age of 18 do not read the content below. The character(s) depicted within this post are over the age of 20. Other warnings include; AMAB Gets Pegged and Female Reader. Read at your own risk.

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Wukong

Is on his back as you thrust the strap in and out of him.

His cock swaying back and forth, hitting your stomach over and over as he groans.

He has to cover his eyes with his hands because if he does look up at you holding his legs apart with your boobs bouncing as you fuck him? He is going to cum.

I think using a strap on him will take one conversation to convince him the first time, but future times he will start asking for bigger or thicker ones for you to use on him.

He isn't the type to ask for it but if you ask or pull it out then he's down.

Macaque

Is on his knees, ass in the air and face in a pillow as you fuck him.

I enjoy the idea he cums very quickly and often when using the strap though he will never admit to it.

If you pull on his tail, he will growl at you until you slap his ass.

It takes several times to ask Macaque before he is willing. I think having a bet with him is what makes him fold.

After the first time though, he does ask for it.

Nezha

You don't even bring it up, they ask for it.

Is a moaning whimpering drooling mess as you fuck their ass, gripping the bedsheets until they rip something too.

Cums a whole lot.

Loves it - absolutely love it - when you call them your pretty little prince as you fuck him with the strap.