A thing about being an adult child of a hoarder (CoH) is that when you're cleaning and clearing out stuff you're always doubting yourself.
Do I want to keep this for a good reason or am I taking after my parent?
Do I want to get of this for a good reason or am I overcompensating because of my parent?
It's extremely frustrating and tiresome.
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You can probably guess where i stopped cleaning.
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Astrology observations part-3 🦋
🦋Libra Sun have the best complexion and usually clear skin. The sun radiates from within. They act silly to confuse people but they are wise. I have never seen an unattractive Libra sun. There is something about them that makes them so pretty. Everyone’s crush.
🦋Venus in 11H has to do with glamour. They have classy rich social circles. Tend to have more friends from the opposite sex. The friends have a big impact on them. A desire for rich successful high profile life. Also, tend to be a hoarder. They are loved by all.
🦋I love how opinionated Aries women are. They tend to be feminists or environmentalists. They scare the hell out of men. It's their way or high way. Why do so many aries women have water sign children, it's cute.
🦋People with Saturn with 0-degree placement were independent from a young age. Since the time they were born, they were already done with everyone’s shit. Might not have the easiest childhood. Also, tend to be emotionally closed off as adults. But my god their sense of humour is dark, with the right crowd, they truly shine.
🦋Lilith in 1H or Lilith conjunct ascendant, so what is it like being accused all the time? Women accuse you of stealing their boyfriends and men accuse of you flirting even when you are not.
🦋Lilith in 12H, I already mention this placement in previous observations. Let's look at the positive side. Your sensual energy might not be too upfront. But people can’t forget about you. You haunt their subconscious mind. So there is a tendency for others to get obsessed with you. Your ex-lovers or friends can never get over you. It's impossible.
🦋The wit of Gemini mercury is so hot. Their memory is too good. An intellectual.
🦋Virgo mars are so logical and strategic with their actions. I would go to them for any kind of advice. They are the master planners. Ready for anything.
🦋Scorpio midheaven, they are people’s guilty pleasure. People hate them because they can not be them. At the same time they are appealing to others, everyone has eyes on them.
🦋Neptune in 1H have trail of copycats. It is what it is.
🦋I feel Sagittarius's placement have too many love interest. Best bodies. Amazing butt. Especially Sagittarius rising are some of the prettiest people I have ever seen.
🦋Venus in 2H tends to marry rich. They can become famous too.
🦋Sun in 1H or Sun conjunct ascendant are warm, charismatic, and regal. They appear radiant and have glowing complexions. Prominent foreheads. I don’t think this placement has any cons. Definitely makes life easy. Can be self-centred. Divine wisdom. Powerful leaders. 
🦋Aquaruis rising look exotic or unique. They often appear eccentric and would constantly say they are weird. Gives off maniac pixie girl or guy vibes.
🦋Cancer Mercury / Taurus Mercury are great listeners. They are the true best friends. Empathetic. Provide words of comfort to others. I think it takes great emotional intelligence to be understanding and empathetic. Cancer mercury is unbeatable in that aspect.
🦋Capricorn suns are frank and straight to the point. They are the least problematic people of all. If you have beef with them, it's mostly one-sided because they are focused on building their empire. They take no shit from others and might appear cold. They are real sweethearts. Capricorn sun/moon / rising are often the eldest children in the family.
Disclaimer: Take what resonates with you. Personal observations are biased.
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Tomura Shigaraki 's abuse and neglect under All for One
I've decided to make this post due to the fact AFO's abuse towards Tomura is often ignored and even denied, so I'll be bringing a collection of scenes that prove he was being severally neglected during the 15 years he lived with AFO
1- Malnourishment and Underweight
At the beginning of the story Tomura used to be very skinny, his spine visible, very accentuated collar bones.
We can't see if his ribcages are exposed too since he's always dressed, but we can tell he is abnormally skinny and thin.
Some theorize AFO's purposefully keeps him in this state so he's more weak and frail similar to Yoichi. Or so it adds to his tiredness and numbness.
He's also been shown randomly struggling before (it could've been the aftershock of Stain attack, i don't know)
2- Lack of hygiene
He literally lives in pure filth, trash bags, old soda cans, paper, boxes, packages of food that seems ordered other than homemade, it lingers all over his floor, he is clearly a hoarder
It's completely different of the kept and clean bar, and now before you say "That's Tomura's responsibility, he's an adult he should clean it himself!" just think for a minute, if you had a son, that you see as your heir, and bets on their future so much,If you truly cared about them and saw they felt into a hoarder mindset, wouldn't you at least help?
Why not even Kurogiri cleans if Tomura was being cared by him? This clearly is intentional neglect, specially to keep his mood constantly down.
3 - His teeth
Tomura canonically has crooked teeth (compare his teeth to the other's in the jump festa art), cavities or at least what looks like plaques or dirt all over his teeth.
For someone raised by someone as filthy rich as AFO, he should've had access to dental care
4- Shaggy hair
His hair looks un-brushed, shaggy and dirty, which had no reason for before MVA when he became homeless, so why even at the start? How long has he taken a bath or a shower?
Look at the blatant difference in this scene after he showered at the PLF mansion
5- Unkept, ragged and broken nails
despite his hands also being very skinny, his nails are also all rough and broken Now, I know Tomura isn't a kid to have someone cut his nails for him, but this implies he was never teached how to take care for himself.
Besides of course his clear symptoms of depression and suicidal idealism, which, are very obvious, All for One IS neglecting Tomura by keeping him in that state /knowing/ he isn't being capable of taking care of himself.
6- His bedroom
First of all: No windows
Second, notice how empty it used to be, he had nothing but a bed and a desk, but right as he committed his first murder he started to receive toys, AFO is lovebombing and manipulating him to kill more
7- The obvious neglect to his pain
Notice how every time Tomura panics or is even wounded, he is just ignored and left on the floor bleeding out, puking or writhing.
Which uh- it isn't normal to watch your kid writhe in the floor while smiling and monologuing
8- 24/7 Surveillance and lack of privacy
There are cameras everywhere, AFO spends most of the time watching Tomura, even in his own bedroom, and even talks to him, Tomura probably hasn't had any privacy ever since he was 5
Which is a sign of abuse and control
His entire childhood from 5 to 20 is often relatable for people who grew in cult like environments, and homeschooled children who grew under controlling parents, despite the abuse not being as "obvious" since AFO never directly physically hurt him, the neglect and psychological torture is still there, that and more all the manipulation, gaslighting and grooming (think of Mother Gothel from Tangled as an example of this type of abuser)
By the way, talking about it
9- Gaslighting
"but wasn't /you/ who desired my power?"
The entire body possession plot is a clear evidence AFO never saw Tomura as anything other than a toy to play with, the same way he saw Yoichi, but so many people say the possession was a retcon because "early afo cleared saw him as his heir, he even said it's all for him!"
Well, argue with the literal "he's the next me", while he is.... weirdly caressing the screen while he watches his kid with no privacy- 100% creep behavior
10- AFO's bizzare behavior towards Tomura
The way All for One's hands are often shown caressing him or encasing him somehow, which yeah, it's part of the symbology of Tomura's character (hands that can both hurt and save)
But knowing AFO represents /hurt/ and, you know, i'ts kinda weird to caress the kid you kidnaped off the streets like that-
Cuz yes! Picking kids from the street even if they are orphan is illegal!! You should take them to a police station instead :D
Tomura was KIDNAPED by AFO, not saved.
11- Proof Tomura doesn't /feel/ saved
During his fight against Bakugou, when he sees him being helped, besides being "broken" he starts to spiral on "why no one saved me even before i was broken?"
The visual including the granny that ignored him on the streets
AFO broke him.
He recurrently thinks back to when he was on the streets, even though he was already traumatized, and had already killed his family, he still had /hope/ he ADMITS he believes he could've been different if it wasn't for AFO
If AFO had truly saved him,he wouldn't think like this
12- AFO gifting Tomura the corpses of his family to intentionally keep him nauseated, uncomfortable and traumatized, so he never heals
Besides their weird placements- On a kid. the gangster's hands being in his chest...
13-AFO's intentional desire for Tomura's discomfort
If this entire thread didn't make it obvious already, All for One benefits of Tomura's tiredness, ill feelings, nausea, depression and suicidal mindset, and over all physical and psychological discomfort
This ensures he's submissive to his manipulations and orders, keep him feeling hatred and anger due to constant overwhelming feelings and makes it harder for him to think of why AFO does all of it at all.
I could go even deeper than this about it, but i've reached thread limit and am lazy, so I hope you enjoyed this thread!
Thank you for reading
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AITA for stealing jewelry and a few other items from my hoarder aunt?
This was a few years ago now, I wanna say maybe 2018? My dad has two sisters, Z and K. K is married to a hoarder and has some hoarding tendencies herself so their house and particularly their garage is a mess. Not biohazard levels of mess but for sure just dusty, dirty, and stuffed with with ancient unusable garbage. K and her husband don’t have any kids, they’re both in their mid-70’s and both are in pretty poor health, so Z flew down from Florida and asked my father and I to come help clean. We agreed and came down for a day.
I have a weird relationship with my aunts. K took care of their mother until she died, and until she died my father would be at his sister’s beck and call. He would frequently abandon his own family to go help K and his mother. I don’t blame him for this, he wanted to help his sick mother, but I do blame K for using him as free labor. He built the house K is hoarding in, destroying his body in the process. Now that I’m an adult I don’t really speak to either aunt, like I had no contact with Z since Z’s second wedding in 2013. K is much closer location-wise but I don’t speak to her either because she’s just kind of off putting. The last time I spent time with her we went shopping and she kept telling me stories of her miscarriage and how annoying her husband is and pointing to someone and loudly asking “you think that’s a man or a woman?” Like I understand we are family but K and Z are as close to strangers as family can get to me. This doesn’t even cover my mom’s opinion of them and their treatment of her. Both Z and K have a history of manipulation, deception, and are both very vindictive and ignorant. She hates them both to the point of paranoia. My sister and I have a similarly low opinion of them both, but we both are more tolerable, myself especially.
So we arrive and we clean, Z and I working together to throw away a bunch of shit and my father worked on installing a new dishwasher. I stumble upon this gorgeous hanging lamp that looks like a large full moon. I text my mom about it and she flips. “That’s mine,” she says, “your father and I found that on the side of the road one night when we were first married.” So I load it into my dads car because it’s so pretty and it belongs to my parents. “Hey, you better ask if you can take that” Z says and I flat out tell her that it belongs to my mom. She shrugs and we continue to work. I find another really cool set of hanging lamps and a solid wooden lamp base carved to look like a gazelle that probably belonged to K’s husband’s parents and I took those too, with no input from Z.
These items weren’t lovingly packed and carefully stored away. They were sitting in plastic bins stuffed with dozens of boxes disintegrated plastic gloves and tools that were more rust than anything else. Towards the end of the day we discover some jewelry boxes and I take those inside to go through with K. A lot of it was junky costume jewelry but there’s some incredible pieces including a pair of 14k gold hoops that look like rams heads, a cool brass ring with an enameled signet with the Sagittarius archer, and a huge silver heart pendant. I carefully set aside the items that I would like to take home and K didn’t say anything, either because she didn’t notice or didn’t care.
Finally when we got home I showed my mom all of the cool stuff I found and she kind of scolded me, saying I should have asked to take this stuff and I brushed it off by joking that this was payment for my cleaning services. She was very happy that I rescued her moon lamp though.
I’m wearing that chunky silver heart pendant today and am thinking about it again. K doesn’t have any children so the only people who would ever inherit this junk would be either myself or Z’s kids, but Z’s daughter is no contact with Z and Z’s son lives on the other side of the country. We own the property that K lives on, pay for the taxes on it and pay for the maintenance on it all without charging K anything, so even when she and her husband die my family is going to have to clean it anyway and I can assure you I would be the only person who would actually want to sift through the garbage to find cool stuff. I feel like I saved this stuff from the landfill. I wear the jewelry I took, we have that really cool gazelle lamp displayed in our living room, and my sister said she was going to use the hanging lamps I brought home for when she has her own home. But of course I technically stole all of it and for sure will not be giving it back, even if she noticed it’s missing. AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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First Astro Observation
✨Gemini Saturn✨ ‘foot-in-mouth-syndrome’ at a very young age. Could’ve grown up with speech impediment or mute. The generation that grew up being careful with what they said and learned how to say negative things politely.
✨Sun opposition Neptune✨ not knowing how to use one’s ego in a positive way, confused with authority or others expressing their egos. Being confused about where one’s place is in the world. Sees themselves as a small fish in a big pond.
✨Saturn conjunct Sun✨ growing up, adults are a lot harder on the native compared to other children. It may feel like one can’t express oneself fully without repercussion. Because of this, the native learns how to be self reliant at a young age. The Native may also self isolate.
✨Capricorn✨ gives hoarder energy— just keeping old things or knowing how to hold onto resources well. Personally I think Cap risings look best in old hollywood style.
The newest generation with ✨Capricorn Mars conjunct Pluto✨ has a very hard time sharing.
✨Virgo Mars✨ Strives for perfection and/or obsessively corrects something until it’s perfect, to the point of exhaustion. Needs peace and quiet to fall asleep. Forgets to feed themselves and gets irritable because if it.
✨Scorpio Mercuries✨ Personally, I feel that they are the BEST at poetry or song writing.
😁Hope you enjoyed🤍
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New Skin - Moss x Witch (minorly)
Content warnings - My attempt at body horror, descriptions of murder, children eating, kidnapping, Moss is not a good person but a good baker at least.
A/N - inspired completely by and based off the works of @ghouljams
“Times are changing, Juniper.”
“I don’t see why I have to learn this.” Juniper huffed as they pushed their petals from their face. “I think I’m plenty alluring as is.”
“Humans are getting smarter. Using iron to weigh down their children.” It seems Juniper's friend, Crow, had struck a nerve. Juniper went rigid, the idea of their food choice becoming harder to get, it made them want to claw into whatever child they had hidden away. “So pay attention to what I’m showing you for free.”
Moss stares at themselves in the mirror, the memory turning hazy from centuries since passed. They wondered how Crow was these days. Moss bites their bottom lip, plump and soft pink. Perfect for kissing. They tilt their head at their reflection. Centuries later, too much time spent not learning how to use a human form had done this to them. Moss knew they only had themselves to blame for the sad state of their ability to hide their true form.
Moss still believed they were plenty pretty with their petals and green tinged skin with orange freckles. Alluring the way fae are meant to be, otherworldly. A mythical creature a child might follow into the forest if only to satiate their curiosity, unaware of Moss’s poison taps and long claws. Moss runs their fingers through the ginger hair of this form, the overalls are yet to be covered in flour but focusing had become more and more difficult as winter begins to melt away into spring.
Moss traces the veins along their neck, their unusually green eyes watching every movement they made. They extend their arm out and trace the skin there too. A soft pale but a poor imitation of human skin. Moss could never perfect the magic of illusion. They were a hunter, a hoarder of prey. They stalked their prey and offered sweet things in exchange for hooks that they would then use to drag a child kicking and screaming into the forest if they had to.
Moss could still vaguely taste the sweet blood of the last child. It sprayed on their skin and like melting candle wax, her fake skin sloughed off. Revealing the inhuman tint, her hair fell off like a sick wig and her green eyes had flared. The freedom of their true form is unparalleled. Moss licked their canines at the memory of sweet meat and freedom from this self opposed cage.
It was only a few weeks ago that they had finally gone to the Witch. To the Witch’s summer cottage. To the garden surrounded by iron fences and a magical barrier that would surely protect the Witch from any kind of threat. It was the kind of magic that made other fae grind their teeth together in both want and pain. The kind of magic another fae might’ve used a beacon for who to hunt next.
But that kind of fae was not Moss. Adults were less soft, harder to trick. Moss had learned their preference long ago during their early days as a fae. Adults didn’t satiate their cravings of sweets but they were a good way to let out some aggression. It wasn’t uncommon for Moss to leave a mutliated corpose in the woods, uneaten and left for the animals and bugs.
Moss had sat inside of Witch’s cottage, fed tea so sweet it helped the building craving within her stomach and made an exchange. Despite the itch that had dug into her skin, like the bite of winter had woven itself into the barrier as well. Like a predator marking its claim. Moss wondered if Witch even knew how valuable of an item she was giving to Moss. A charm, woven with magic that would help keep seers prying eyes off of them. Give their human form more stabilization. But it was fine if Witch didn’t know the true value or use of the charm, probably better she didn’t. She seemed like the type of lady to want children of her own one day.
Better if she didn’t know that Moss was the main threat to children in this area.
Moss clipped the charm necklace on and felt her form settle. Felt the magic blanket her like a warm hug. They let out a soft sigh and looked back at their reflection. Their ginger hair was a bit dulled, their green eyes just bright with life and not hunger, even their skin seemed to dim down. The beacon that screamed that Moss was fae tuned down.
The first thing Moss had noticed their first day with the charm on was the lack of eyes on them. Weak seers didn’t jump out of their skin at the sight of them, stronger seers avoided eye contact instead of trying to distance themselves. Moss was just another face in the crowd, not some kind of child eater. Even if that is what they were. Emily was a sweet girl. Five years old if she wasn’t lying and children never lie about being five. So excited to be that number of years and unaware they are talking to the fae that might keep them from reaching six.
Emily babbled on about the flower crown she was making, talking about all the pretty flowers starting to sprout from the ground. Moss handed a very pretty cornflower to Emily who oohed and awed over its blue hue. Moss salvated as that first hook sunk into Emily.
Moss shook their head sadly as they comforted the parents. The mother sobbed into her wifes arms, the wife’s lip trembled as she tried to keep herself together for her wife. Moss offered to make them some bread and desserts, just to help lessen the load on them. No need to return the favor. They thanked Moss profusely even as tears kept rolling down their cheeks. “Let me know if you want any help, it’d be the least I can do.”
The women nodded and walked out of the bakery with a handful of loaves and a few pies in boxes. Moss turned off the lights and climbed the stairs down to their basement where they pushed a cabinet from the wall. They smiled at Emily who munched on the cookies Moss had given her. “Are you ready to go?” Moss asked and Emily nodded, Moss took her small hand into theirs. “Alright, let's go see your brothers and sisters.” And they stepped into the mushroom circle.
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Billy Lenz headcanons 2
Part two baby let's go
TW: child abuse, animal death again :( though I don't really get into the details of either of it
Grew up in a kind of suburban/rural like area, not totally isolated but definitely a bit remote, so a lot of things that happened in the Lenz household went unnoticed by the wider community
Lived close by to a pig farm as a child, hearing their grunts and squeals all day and all night. He quickly adopted the sounds, and now grunting and squealing and snorting are a stim to him. Though, because of this he often got compared to pigs by his family as a child :( he did sometimes sneak away to the pig farm to look at the pigs to get away from his house
Had a crooked broken nose. He either got it broken by one of his parents or Agnes broke it in self defense
As stated in the last part, he loves movies, and one of his absolute favorite ones is the shining. Jack Nicholson is one of his favorite actors, and he watched most of his filmography- exept one flew over the cuckoo's nest. He can't handle that one, it's too real for him
Likes those adult oriented animated movies that came out during the 70's-80's like Fritz the cat, Fantastic planet, Rock and rule, and so on. He also very much enjoys who framed Roger rabbit and cool world, though not really for their technical breakthroughs (perv)
I can see him also appreciating eastern block animated films if he ever got his hands on them, like Russian fairy tale animated films and early Hungarian folk tales, János vitéz etc.
Last unicorn enjoyer but prefers the book to the animated movie (though he enjoys both)
Doesn't really like Disney animated movies though (exept for Roger rabbit). The ones that came out during his adulthood were too "kiddie" for his tastes, and the ones from his childhood trigger him greatly
Has Italian heritage
Hates hippies, though likes a couple of bands that can be considered to make hippie/stoner music like Pink Floyd and the Doors
Yes he relates to Pink from the acclaimed concept album/rock opera movie Pink Floyd's The Wall why do you ask
Every weed is scary weed to him, don't let this man bake
Cat's are his favorite animal, aside from pigs, and he would feed the local stray cats as a child
Would honestly be catkin in a modern au
Garfield is his favorite mediocre but cute Saturday morning comic strip <3 he relates to Jon a lot
Doesn't like children, they freak him out, he would never want to have children and that's for the best
Has an appreciation for naive/amateur/outsider art, and he himself does make his own collages and drawings from time to time, whenever he's mentally stable enough to do that. His works are crude, both technically and thematically, and there is a very morbid quality to them. One of his great inspirations is Henry Darger
Has hoarder tendencies
Loves soft things, like blankets, pillows and plushies. His nest in the attic is like the most comfortable pillow fort there is
Yes the plushies are stolen directly from children
Honestly has his own collection of small, tinny , insignificant shinny things he found/stole. If he ever gets his own place his house would look like Howl Movingcastles room just more... Dirty and covered in cat hair
Liked to lay out all the things he stole from the girls in the sorority house on the attic floor, and admire his spoils from time to time
Yes he is a panty snatcher why do you ask
Doesn't like people staring/looking at him, though he himself has a staring problem
Is afraid of dogs, he got bitten by a stray dog one time when he ran away from home when he was just three years old. A stranger who just so happened to be passing by saw what was happening and defended him, killing the dog in the process. Then he took Billy right back to his family home, like any good Samaritan would. Sometimes Billy's nightmares have bloody, gaping black dogs in them.
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Which of the Lost Boys do you think is the most likely to…
Be mistaken for a celebrity?
Have visited the most states or even countries?
Have a collection of books that they may or may not have read entirely?
Speak a foreign language fluently?
Identify types of flowers?
Have the most body count?
Be a sadist?
Be the best at math?
Give someone the wrong directions (intentionally)?
Be an extra in a zombie movie?
Have read a Harlequin book?
Win at trivia?
Give the best hugs?
Fall from the tree?
Enjoy pineapple on their pizza?
My babies!
ALSO: I mention 'adult topics'. So kids, fuck off okay?
Aightttt let's get this shit staaarteeddd
Which of the Lost Boys do you think is the most likely to…
Be mistaken for a celebrity?
I actually know fuck all about celebrities. But I’d think that Paul and Dwayne would get mistaken for celebrities, or rock stars, just because they look so rocker. Mostly Paul, but when he’s flustered he doesn’t know what to do, so the others have to come and save him like, “yeahhh we’re in a band. A rock band. Wanna come rock out with us?” Of course they’re gonna eat the groupies, but why not have fun with it?
Have visited the most states or even countries?
David- he is old as balls, he's been in at least the US and Canada, and he's gone through most of the contiguous states with Max. Least is Paul, he’s kinda like Charlie from IASIP when they try to leave Philly and he does everything in his power to stay there, lol. Gripping the cave walls while all the boys pull on his legs trying to get him to leave, sweet baby loves his new home and doesn’t wanna go anywhere, “you can’t make me!” type stuff when they’re just going down the road.
Have a collection of books that they may or may not have read entirely?
Collection of books? Dwayne, but he reads them for Laddie; they’re a combination of children’s books, philosophy and romantic nationalism. Books for themselves, David. He's a hoarder, and secretly looooves romance books, especially the dirty kind of dramatic ones. Paul probably has some comics or manga’s, just cause he likes looking at the pictures. And Marko has a few books on different species of birds and flowers.
Speak a foreign language fluently?
All the boys do! Marko and Dwayne’s mother tongue is not English. David and Paul were bilingual from childhood. David speaks French, Marko Italian, Dwayne Russian and Spanish, and Paul speaks German. But of course, they’re all teaching each other how to speak their language. Kinda like duolingo, except if you don’t practice it’s not an owl coming for you, it’s a big scary ass vampire.
Identify types of flowers?
Marko, David and Dwayne because of their mothers, and Paul because boyscouts.
Have the most body count?
Before death? Close call between David and Marko, but I'd say Marko. AD? Between Marko and Paul, or maybe Paul and Dwayne? They all b fuckin, and honestly when you get old enough you stop counting. Buuuuut David is the least promiscuous, just cause it's hard for him to find a compatible partner. He likes to flirt, but he usually turns them into a capris sun before he even gets his pants off.
Be a sadist?
Sadist??? In a vampire??? Naaaaaah. Lol. From most sadistic to least is Marko, David, Dwayne, and Paul. Sweet baby Paul is more sub than dom, Marko is dom/sub but you have to drag it out of him. ALSO, depending on how someone fucks with the boys (like pisses em off) they can be 0 to 100. They all have the capacity for it, just mostly Marko and Dwayne stay ready to fuck someone up for their family.
Be the best at math?
Best at math?...... Paul, but only because he thinks it's a "party trick."
Give someone the wrong directions (intentionally)?
All of them?? lmao. They're assholes, love. Depending on their mood it can be not as bad, but also who would ask these specific boys for directions???? Not me, and I am obsessed with them.
Be an extra in a zombie movie?
Marko and Paul would love the attention, but they might get too into character so David and Dwayne would have to tag along to make sure they didn't actually eat someone alive on film. They'd have sooooo much fun with it, and the boys would steal soooooooooo much shit from set lmao.
Have read a Harlequin book?
*Googling what this means* ooh, you mean smut? Yeah, no all of them have. Dwayne started it. He’s got a solid stash hidden somewhere, then Paul found it, blushed and Marko saw him. Paul, sweet thing was giggling and then got embarrassed, so Marko went to investigate. Marko got bricked up, then started keeping a stash. Then he became a problem with it, David had to confiscate it and then HE got bricked up. Anyways, the boys share books now 😂😂 it's a group effort to maintain and add to the collection.
Win at trivia?
(Technically they all could bc telepathy, and you KNOW they would cheat) but id still have to go with David. But only when he is belligerent levels of drunk. This fucker is so gd old he knows everything. Yes, even the nerd stuff. Then the boys have to leave early because he'll start saying some, "back in my day it was actually..." shit, talking about the 1800s.
Scaring the hoes type behavior, smh.
Give the best hugs?
I gotta skip this one, thinking of the kinds of hugs they would give made me giggle like a bitxh in heat. I'll come back to it later. Probably Marko, because he secretly loves giving hugs. He will pretend he doesn’t but if you ask him for a hug when you’re crying or something he will never let you go. Then Dwayne, just cause hes so big, like it would be a bear hug. Then David, because he is so warm with those damn jackets. Last is Paul because he'd accidently stab you with his safety pins.
Fall from the tree?
Paul. My hc for Paul is that he is a MAGNET for bad luck. Sweet baby would be dead if he was still alive. He’s fallen out of the sky while flying, like he thought it would be funny to freefall and then forgot to stop before he got to the bottom. He broke a SHIT TON of bones when he hit the ocean surface. David told him not too, and he didn't listen. Also fallen off his bike quite a few times, also Marko’s bike and Dwayne’s bike. Got thrown through a window and ate glass, like he just got it in his mouth and swallowed it. Got hit by a train, bus, multiple cars, David’s ran him over on the bike too lol, and almost sucked into a jet engine. Tried to do the Houdini escape thing and fucking drowned. David just sat back and told the guys not to free him, said he "had to learn to stop doing shit like that" and they just watched him drown. After a few minutes Paul just stared at them and pouted, David half contemplated leaving him there, but Paul started crying. Got Attacked by wolves, a flock of seagulls, one time a rat bit him, and he got bubonic plague. So yeah, he’s definitely fallen out of the damn tree. I can see him bouncing up and down in excitement before feeding time and slip and fall like 10 feet lmaoooo, the guys all got caught sitting in the tree because they busted out laughing. This poor baby has full-blown bad luck.
Enjoy pineapple on their pizza?
Dwayne lolllll. Marko would give him shit for it and Dwayne would be like "shut up and eat your pizza before I throw you in the ocean."
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"You're not even a little bit impressed?"
"It's like a museum dedicated to the extermination of my people, so no. Not thrilled."
This scene gets pretty much no follow up, except I suppose to justify why Alucard is such an asshole to Trevor, but you know what? I think it deserves to be unpacked.
That is the skull of a vampire child there. We never see one of them on screen, so why was this detail included? Well, it paints the Belmonts as morally grey heroes. Alucard really, really hates the Belmont hold, he mocks the whole clan non stop and even calls them "mentally ill hoarders", and we're supposed to agree with him, because look! They collected skulls! They killed children! Poor Alucard feels sorry for "his people"!
Step by step.
A vampire child is, in this context, likely a child that was turned into a vampire. This is horrifying if you think about it for more than two seconds. Either vampire children in this universe are Twilight-style, poor kids perpetually stuck at the age they were turned, never allowed to grow up, only knowing a world of pain and perpetual thirst and violence; or they're IWTV-style, people who do mentally grow up and become adults, but are stuck in the body of a child and so they will forever be treated as such, feeling forever the disconnection between appearance and mind.
In short, killing them is a mercy. It's almost disrespectful to just... drop this part of lore, that vampires apparently are not above turning children, and never elaborate on that. Fucking Breaking Dawn had them as a pivotal plot point! How can you do something worse than that book?!
But no, we are meant to be horrified. We are meant to think that maybe the Belmonts were not pure heroes after all, because that's #deep, because goodness is for sissies. Combine this with everything I said about how poorly the whole clan is treated in the show, and it just keeps getting worse.
Then there's the asshole himself, Alucard.
"My people"? Really. Alucard, sweetie, you're not a vampire. You're a dhampir. You're an unique creature, half-and-half, with both heritages. From an adaptation standpoint, making Alucard side with his vampire heritage is missing the point as hard as turning Hector into a perpetual victim with no agency. Alucard in the games slept most of his life away because he believed his bloodline to be cursed. This may be even more OOC than his constant cuntness.
But that's not even the main issue. Are we... are we treating vampires like a whole different race that the Belmonts exterminated? I. I can't even begin to explain the issues with this.
They drink children's blood and turn them into hellish creatures. They enjoy slaughtering people, enslaving them at best, and seen prone to world conquering/destroying plans. And you're treating them as a race hunted down by oppressors? A race that has children whose death is framed as particularly gruesome? A race that we're supposed to sympathize with, against the main hero clan?
Oh boy. And then you remember the "cabal of vampires in control of the slave trade" stuff in Nocturne. yeah. uhm. someone didn't think things through.
This scene would make slightly more sense if vampires could reproduce with each other. In this sense, they would all be innocent, and vampire children wouldn't be tragic monsters. But it has never been established, and of course it doesn't make sense for undead creatures to be able to breed - dhampirs are supposed to be exceptional. However, you'll notice that the show treats vampires as if they were almost elves, a supernatural, superior species separated from humans, not humans turned into monsters (although lip service is paid when Carmilla questions why Lisa was never turned). Convert "vampires" to "elves", and suddenly everything clicks into place.
And all of this. All of this for one picture of a child skull that is completely irrelevant to the plot and lore.
I keep being amazed just by how deep the rabbit hole of terrible writing goes with this show.
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Most mothers I know feel like they're drowning on a regular basis, but we are mostly good at not talking about it and presenting a facade of competence. I can see them drowning behind the wall of pictures of their smiling children. No pictures of them, though. They don't talk about themselves. There's never a mention of difficulty or struggles, or if they do it's a sanitized version, or a vague post that smells like fear of judgement.
I ponder the damaging nature of our cultural values in America on a regular basis because I sincerely believe the pathway towards sanity is to deculture yourself as an adult. American values are rooted in the unholy triumvirate of puritanism, the bizarre wealth doctrine that suggests that the Lord shows favor by bestowing "ca$h money, son," and, of course, the worst institution that humans have never been able to give up, slavery.
How do you deculture? Reject the cultural dictates that demand that everyone follow a similar and comprehensible pathway. You don't have to go to college, get a mortgage, get married, have kids. You can opt out of the expected pathways. It's difficult because there's no model, no one to look to to see how to do it - but it also liberating because you get to choose what your life looks like. Instead of a life path that's clearly laid out with no deviations - so that you can see from this moment until the end of your life with a boring clarity, you can embrace groundlessness (as Pema Chodron put it). The amount of criticism you receive will increase exponentially, but you'll also be able to find people who accept you fully for who you are because you become ruthlessly authentic. Then, the only people that want to stick around are the people that really actually do like who you are as a person and not what you do for them or the image or idea that you project that they want to associate with themselves for marketing and branding purposes.
Humans used to be adventurous and now there is a very loud proportion of our population that thinks it's okay to just demand that everyone believes and does only that which we ourselves feel comfortable with. The only thing I can't abide is when someone tries to force me to live and believe as they do. I can't tolerate living with that kind of fear. It's exhausting to think about.
Wealthy people hoard their money like hoarders collect garbage. A healthy system depends of circulation. Stagnation is death. Eternal, unending growth is the definition of cancer. Instead of collecting money, try collecting life experience. When you're dying you leave behind any material wealth you accumulated. The only thing that ever truly belongs to you are the vivid experiences you can string together to tell your life story, and the individuals whose lives you touched in some way.
A friend of mine ended his life a few weeks ago. I wish he could see the people still posting pictures or memories with him. He had a rich wealth of friendship and connection, but struggled in poverty like the rest of us. And it breaks my heart that we continue to participate in a society that teaches us that even in the face of a wealth of friendship, love, and connection, we are unworthy unless we hoard our wealth and exploit others to enrich ourselves.
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Fics I Enjoyed September-October
10 fics total. Includes fics from the following fandoms: Black Sails, Harry Potter
Away Childish Things by lettered/@letteredlettered
Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 154k | Teen & Up
Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.
Elective Affinities by Caecelia
Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Severus Snape | 86k (WIP) | Mature
It's 1976, and a strange new transfer student is about to turn Severus Snape's life on its head . . .
What We Pretend We Cannot See by gyzym/@gyzym
Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 131k | Mature
Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.
where there's a will by aloneintherain/@captainkirkk
Harry Potter | Gen | 8k | Teen & Up
Harry writes the first draft of his will when he’s fourteen.
Princes of the New World by x_etoile_x/@etoilesombre
Black Sails | James Flint/John Silver | 38k | Explicit
“This is your plan?” Flint sneers, looking at Silver like he’d expected no better. “Hiding below decks like a rat?” “Now Captain, that’s unkind,” Silver pouts, trying to hide his hurt behind teasing reproach. All day he has tried to match Flint, to fight alongside him though he is ill-suited to it, and it has earned him nothing but disdain. Now it’s time to do things his way for a while. “Like a stowaway, at least.” After they have taken the warship and been cast out of the crew, Flint and Silver are forced to contend with each other and the nature of their relationship.
Far From the Tree by aideomai
Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 112k | Explicit
The arrival of Harry Potter’s children—snapped back in time, the children themselves guessed, twenty or so years—was the most interesting thing to happen at Hogwarts for years.
Eager for the Sky by oknowkiss/@oknowkiss
Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 35k | Mature
It was announced, just as the Triwizard Tournament had been, at the start of term feast. A year-long, international Quidditch varsity match — the inaugural Wizarding Academy Cup. In which Harry is Hogwarts' star Seeker, Draco is on the bench, and they both have a thing or two to learn about playing for the same team.
Like Lightning at Your Fingertips by potterwatch
Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 43k | Teen & Up
The problem with living with another insomniac is, eventually, they find out you’re one, too. When Harry and Draco return for their eighth year, they think they’ll see very little of each other. Then McGonagall assigns them to room together. And the castle starts breaking. And there’s that thing with Potter’s magic.
Three's Family by darkbluedark
Harry Potter | James Potter/Lily Evans | 19k | Teen & Up
It’s May 1979 and the Order has just apprehended a pair of mysterious wizards who look remarkably like a Potter and a Malfoy. Naturally, James Potter and Sirius Black are called in to identify the strangely familiar strangers and determine their backgrounds and loyalties. (This would be a lot easier if their captives weren’t convinced everyone they talk to is dead. It would also be easier if they didn’t spend half their bloody time bickering.)
The Bolthole by aideomai and Tepre/@tepre
Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 54k | Explicit
Harry is a hoarder, Draco is grief-stricken, and both are capable human adults who can definitely spend a month in a cottage in the Cotswolds together without ever talking about the time they slept together in eighth year. Yeah, no, totally.
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Not quite a Christmas story
My mother was born in 1935. In 1940, she and her mother went as refugees from WWII to Canada, where my mother spent the next five years in a Catholic boarding school and my grandmother worked in a munitions factory and they saw each other on Sundays. My grandfather was in the navy. After the war, my grandparents had two more children, hated each other, and divorced in 1969 when their youngest child turned 18.
My mother came to Scotland in 1959, taught school for a year, met my father, went back to Canada to get married, and came back to Scotland in 1964. She had three children, and when we were young, she gave us a wonderful childhood with - moments.
At Christmas she would devise each of us a stocking with small presents she had bought through the year, just right as stocking-stuffers, and also always fruit and nuts tucked into the toe. She taught each of us to cook - I have been baking expertly since I was eight years old. She taught each of us to read, and never banned us from reading any of the books that crowded our family home. She gave fantastic birthday parties, and because my birthday falls inside the Christmas holiday season when everybody is partied out, she also used to organise a second party for me elsewhen in the year - at Hallowe'en, or in the summer holidays. She liked to give thoughtful perfect presents but when I made clear my favourite present was a book token and an afternoon in the biggest children's bookshop, that's what she gave me, plus oddments to unwrap so it wasn't just booktoken envelopes to open on the day. She took us to a cottage in the Borders every summer, a 4-room cottage with no electricity, water heated by the fire in the living-room, and we spent golden weeks there.
She got me my first set of adult library cards, two years early, when she realised I had literally run out of books to read in the children's library. She gave me blank lined notebooks for journals, and my first two manual typewriters, and bought me paper and pens. She read aloud to me: The Once And Future King, and Ivanhoe, and The Lord of the Rings.
And then there was a birthday party that was cancelled at the last minute because my mother realised she had left too much undone and couldn't do it: the teacher told the class and told me separately and sent me home early and must have told the children not to tease me about it. There was any number of times I got screamed at for offences I didn't understand at the time (and only sometimes understand now). There was the strange distancing that happened between ten and seventeen, as I became less and less able to fit the mold of the daughter she wanted. I came out to her at seventeen - she was almost the first person I told: and she was horrified, and I lived for the next two years in an atmosphere of unremitting disapproval. The disapproval didn't end when I was 19: I left home.
My mother was homophobic til the day she lost consciousness: she just got better at hiding it over the years. The measure of her love for me is that despite wishing all of her life that I would stop being a lesbian, she never could bring herself to disown me.
My mother dealt with my neurodivergence - I am dysphraxic - by deciding it wasn't real: I spent decades of my life not sure why I was always so clumsy and so kackhanded with anything requiring delicate coordination. She didn't want me dysphraxic any more than she wanted me lesbian.
I found a page in one of her journals, a Christmas fantasy of her family in ten years time: of her oldest child married and with kids, her youngest child married with another kid. I was not in this fantasy: the unsatisfactory daughter.
My mother was a hoarder: it took me months to clear her last home of stuff. I found the teddy bear she'd had since she was five, tucked away in the clutter, and gave it to the undertaker to include in her coffin at the funeral. It seemed to me she should go with one of the things she'd loved and kept in life. My mother hoarded things. She and my father, who died ten months before her, lived in a large flat that was cluttered wall to wall with things - with books, of course, and with food, with clothes she no longer wore, gifts she had never given, inheritances and things picked up in charity shops, the once-useful and the might-be-useful and the someday-useful. And papers. And journals. And spent lottery tickets. She hadn't held down a job since the 1980s, and she had - from her journals - sometimes elaborate fantasies about what she'd do when she won.
We were waiting for the paramedics to take my mother to the hospital after the last bad fall she had, and because it wasn't an emergency they were very late. I made us cocoa and toasted cheese sandwiches in my mother's kitchen, while we were waiting. The last meal I made for her. I can't remember what the first one was, when she first showed me how to cook.
A couple of months later, I invited a couple of volunteers from a soup kitchen/food bank to come over and take what they wanted from the kitchen. I had meant to have it better organised but when they came, they looked at me, and at my mother's kitchen, and one said "You haven't been able to get started on this, have you?" and I said no, and they said "we'll do it". They boxed up everything they could take with them, and sorted the rest into cardboard boxes of what a charity shop would likely take and what should just go to the dump, and somewhere, I hope, some of that hoard of mugs are still in use, being drunk from with hot tea by someone who could really use a cuppa.
My mother died on this day, on 23rd December 2015, and over the years I have dealt with the anniversary of her death in different ways: I've gone on holiday, I've gone swimming, I've gone for a walk, I've gone to see Cats the Movie, I even one year worked a full day at work because Christmas fell on a Sunday and they were offering full hours to anyone who wanted to work the last Friday.
This year, I'm tired and in recovery from COVID. I've made bread, done laundry, done the dishes, had two naps, tried to read a Mira Grant novel, changed the cat litter trays, taken the rubbish out, gone for as long a walk as I could manage, and I'm still sitting here, contemplating my mother's life and death and legacy and wishing for, I don't know what.
My father's life is so much easier: he had a happy childhood, work he loved, a retirement spent writing and walking and caring for his wife. My father's life makes a satisfying story: he wrote some of it down in a memoir for his children.
My mother's life was strange and muddled and broken and full of cluttered things and unfocussed anger and a lot of misery. And yet: I still miss how she would say my name, sudden and joyous, "Oh, it's you!"
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Vent post, but: while there are advantages to living with my parents (mainly to do with money and location), I can't shake this constant nagging sensation of something that feels, er.... suspiciously like deprivation.
One of the issues is that my parents aren't technically that bad. They're not technically hoarders. They aren't completely untidy. But I'm still sick of the clutter and the fact that the kitchen is rarely clean (one thing I've had to accept about myself is that unclean kitchens make me go apeshit). Tidying up after them is like tidying up after kids, i.e. things are a mess again within the hour. So every day I have to ask myself, 'do you want the stress of buying a house (which then makes it harder to change jobs) or do you want the irritation of seeing other people's dirty cups and plates on the kitchen counters EVERY. SINGLE. DAY and having to always do some measure of cleaning up after other people before you can prepare food?' I feel like the mess would be understandable if I had children, but when it's from adults (adults who, incidentally, used to tell me I was lazy and untidy when I was a child) then the primal chimpanzee part of my brain goes 'heehoo R A G E' no matter how much I try to rationalize.
Living situation aside, my mind does spend a lot of time doing little cost-benefit analyses on various things, because a lot of stuff in life seems fragile and/or finite. Sometimes trying to be analytical helps me keep my feelings in check, and sometimes it doesn't. I still find it reassuring when I can tell myself 'I am making the best possible decision under the current circumstances' but the effectiveness of this depends on how uncomfortable and batshit I feel on a given day, e.g. when your number of Unmet Needs reaches a certain point, no amount of rationalization is going to quiet the enraged abyssal howling at the back of your mind.
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as an autistic adult who has slept with at least one stuffed animal my entire life and grabbed a squishmallow on a whim around easter 2020 (pre-hype, i had never even heard of them, just saw cute squishy round thing and had to have it) that is now very loved and in need of replacement, how the hell do i go about obtaining one (1) singular squishmallow if all of the collection hoarders get to them before normies and children even have a chance 🥲
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Identifying as Erin Brockovich was all wrong
In 2000, Julia Roberts starred as Erin Brockovich in the Hollywood movie about real life Erin Brockovich.
Real life Brockovich had a pivotal role in a landmark case (USA) where a company poisoned water that led to long lasting and serious health ailments for nearby residents.
This post is based purely on the Hollywood movie depiction, fyi.
Roberts depicts Brockovich as a smart, confident, single mother who is underappreciated, undervalued, and misunderstood. But it is Brockovich who connects the dots and compels the towns people to pursue a settlement. Spoiler Alert, if you haven’t seen the movie, I recommend you watch it now, and then come back to read the rest of this post.
Every now and then I watch this movie for the pure satisfaction of watching Julia Roberts play the overlooked underdog. The movie creates multiple opportunities for feel-good scenes where Brockovich is dismissed by some powerful character, and she comes back swinging with her quick wit and incredible memory.
This movie is a celebration of fighting for the right thing, convincing everyone else to fight for the right thing, and then achieving compensation for the right people. Fictional satisfaction at its best. In my opinion.
As an advocate and champion for children’s rights, this movie personifies my deepest desires.
I would just love to see an entire community come together and agree that our children haven’t been cared for adequately. I would love to witness lawyers and judges agreeing that adults and youth-serving organizations have been negligent, providing inadequate supervision, and allowing perpetrators to gain access to children.
I’d be like Erin Brockovich, spouting off the facts that support this conclusion with my/her incredible memory. I’d be convincing and compelling. Lawyers would not be able to ignore me.
Landmark changes would be implemented. Youth-serving organizations would be compelled to train their staff and volunteers to protect children. The future of humanity would be transformed!
You see what I’m saying? It’s a fantasy. And I’ve always imagined myself as Erin Brockovich.
Until last week, when I watched the movie again. For the 5th or 6th time.
I was living vicariously through Brockovich right up until the scene when a creepy fellow who has appeared a few times in the movie, finally approaches Brockovich at a late night stop at a local pub.
Brockovich has been heroically collecting signatures from every person in the town, as required for the legal proceedings.
She stops at the pub for one last signature, and a cup of coffee to stay awake for her drive home.
Enter the creepy character who has been in a few scenes but hasn’t said anything yet.
Brockovich is understandably guarded as this fellow starts a conversation with her. But soon, he makes it known that he has important documents that are needed for the case to be successful.
Brockovich warms up to him as he confides in her about all the documents he was instructed to destroy, back when he worked for the company doing the poisoning. Turns out, he did NOT destroy the documents. He kept them. For YEARS.
This fellow had the key proof needed to convict the organization. He had it all along. But it wasn’t until Brockovich turned up, asking questions, and creating this legal proceeding, that his evidence mattered at all.
Until Brockovich, he was just a hoarder with confidential documents he shouldn’t have kept.
And that’s when I realized the truth. I’m not Erin Brockovich. I’m the creepy guy with the evidence that doesn’t mean anything to anybody. Yet.
While I would love to play the role of Brockovich in my save-the-children mission, the truth is, I’m the person with important evidence that nobody seems to be looking for.
As an adult who has been advocating for child protection practices and training, I’ve witnessed organization after organization decline the chance to implement child protective practices.
As an advocate for best practices, I see how often they are NOT being utilized.
I’ve witnessed children being supervised and coached by adults who cross boundaries and create uncomfortable situations for kids. I’ve seen adults being unsafe.
I’ve witnessed youth-serving organization staff ignore children and their parents who have come forward with their concerns.
I’ve witnessed principals and school board employees protect staff members who have harmed children, and then ignored the children who were harmed, offering them no support or guidance or acknowledgement.
I’ve witnessed the police dismiss and minimize the concerns that children have brought forward, instead of investigating and protecting children.
So, I’m not Erin Brockovich. I’m the guy with the evidence.
The good news is that someday, someone is going to bring this evidence to light, and then we will be able to film a feel-good movie.
It’ll be named after someone else. It will show how a whole community came to realize that youth serving organizations aren’t using the best practices that are known to protect kids. It will show how the community rallied together to make sure that children are safe in every situation. It will show how keeping kids safe creates a community of joy, creativity, and prosperity.
And I’ll be character that gets the shortest amount of screen time, but has the most significant information.
That’s my movie fantasy for the day.
If you know someone who could play the role of an Erin Brockovich, someone who wants to fight for the right thing, someone who can rally a community, compel a legal action, or someone who simply wants to put best practices in place in their organization, please connect with us at Priority Kids.
We are on a mission to eradicate childhood sexual abuse. Will you join us?
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