#adhd really just is like

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bros before Ho(oh my god is that Hanguang-Jun?)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #WWX really was unhinged for saying he was going to always be at JC's side and then immediately asking about LWJ. #The D in ADHD stands for Distractible. The second D stands for DooowawawaWaaaah (ADHDers know what I mean) #Their conversation is such a knife twist in this flashback. WWX truly and genuinely does mean it when he says he wants to support JC #And that JC hopes for that too! Tragedies hit the hardest when you can feel the lost futures characters would have together #And I feel it here in this scene so painfully. There's complicated feelings between them but it wasn't what broke them apart. #The rumours and the twisted family dynamics that tried to pit them against each other likely wouldnt have worked. #It set the stage for JC to have an inferiority complex which then grows into his responsibility complex. #WWX even calls it out! That JC has to be the responsible one in the dynamic. #And it sucks to be in that unequal position with a sibling or a not-sibling. #You don't get the love *or* acknowledgement but you do get the pressure to be the 'better one' in the face of the other's misbehaviour. #But I digress. There was a world where they did became the twin heroes of yunmeng jiang and stayed together. #And we'll never see it. That world is gone now. And just like Lotus pier -even if they tried to rebuild it - they will never be the same.

[moonlit-typewriter]

“You are not broken. You are singular. You are a miracle. And you are my son”

The Percy Jackson show is really healing my inner child while simultaneously destroying me 😭

#like they really just expected me to be okay after that #killing us in the first episode #rick really said i want the realest neurodivergent percy #pjo tv show #pjo fandom #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo disney+ #percy series #pjo #pjo sally jackson #sally jackson #neurodivergent percy jackson #adhd percy jackson #accurate representation #pjo episode 1 #pjo series #pjo quotes #😭

[angelboybreakdowns]

ppl will say “i hate being seen with you in public because you stand funny and wear your headphones all the time and talk too loud” and then get all defensive when you say thats ableist

#ppl being my sister #like explain to me again how thinking my visible autistic traits are inherently embarrassing is not ableist? #she also said that autistic people in general are annoying #again while getting upset when i said that was ableist #i even word it really carefully so she cant accuse me of saying that she is ableist #but no the girl is just aggressively against admitting she has any kind of bias at all ever #autism #actually autistic #autistic #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #adhd #autism/adhd #actuallyautistic #actually adhd #neurodivergence #autistic experiences #tw ableism

[docdalas]

anyone with adhd and/or autism have part of their brain that constantly tries gaslighting itself into thinking that you aren’t actually autistic, that you don’t have adhd? i’m so tired

#not using gaslighting as a buzzword believe me #every day of my life i ponder if i really have adhd and my girlfriend is just like #literally everyone can tell you are #it’s very consoling #personal #actually adhd #actually autism #do ppl still use those tags

[wyrmswears]

i finished aai2 (one of these is not like the others)

#you can tell how inconsistent my style is just from this.. anyway ive been learning how to draw sebastian #sebastian debeste #athena cykes #ace attorney #aai2 #you see i just cant not draw athena.. #i think sebastians like my second favourite character now. the brainrots bad #never my number one though i am an athena stan through and through #speaking of: i sometime see athena characterisations that just make me sit and go wow u never played dual destinies did u. or maybe im autis #aai2 spoilers #uhm just for sebbys edgy ass sprite (its so funny sorry i know its meant to be serious but its such a funny sprite i love him) #his hair is really difficult to draw???? how do u guys do it #shoutout to my one follower with the sebastian pfp though i understand you so well now. we are cosmically linked (sebastian fans) #i did take my adhd meds today i promise #wyrm draws #ace attorney fanart #aa

[tittyblade]

okay ive been thinking.

rb with your answer + what your interpretation of barbie/ken is

#mcyt #technoblade #OKAY this is really dumb but bear with me DBJSBDJ #(dont read my og tags before u vote i want to hear ur own interpretation!!) #to me a ken is like a himbo. just living his best life unbothwred #and barbie 100% knows what she wants and how to get it shes a capital g Girlboss okay #SO IM THINKING. techno’s obviously a barbie have you ever watched any of his videos #BUT AT THE SAME TIME. being a barbie all the time would be so exhausting youve got sm shit to do #so in conclusion i say. hes a ken that can be a barbie whenever he wants. will he be tho? who knows #depends on the weather or wether he took his adhd meds that day

[b4kuch1n]

simulated earth (it does not matter)

transcript

#sherlock and co #sherlock & co #podlock #comic #sherlock holmes #john watson #victor trevor #ft. archie (in like three panels lmao) #need to figure out a podlock specific tag for these guys so this doesnt clutter up the main sh tags #bc ohhh boy. I anticipate being insane abt s&co for a While #this comic def a Hot minute post-gloria scott #what is this about exactly? you ask. haha well (there's sunlight bouncing off a window and when u look back Im already gone) #listen I caught up to everything right before gloria scott and holy Shit that case knocked me on my ass #as a chronic adhd (and thus serious memory problems) haver.... (holds sherlock tenderly) #I have not listened to SOLI yet btw I will tomorrow. I wanted to finish this before catching up #Im obsessed with them. Im such an easy idiot lmao Im a sherlock holmes adaptation enthusiast before Im a human #gloria scott.... the way it muses on the limit of the genre same as the red headed league.... what about the victims? #what about the victims. what about the victims. what part of the pain does the process of investigation cure #victor's like. he's between jobs he's between boyfriends he's living with his dad whose caretaker he just became. who does he have #and sherlock holmes is about the truth but john's been about the solution so far. I just. I really like this john watson lmao #listen the way he complains and then refuses to shoot the underlings in red headed league. based. I love him #I can fix him (radicalize him against punitive justice) #(I am refraining from talking abt sherlock in the tags here bc I Will run out of tags before Im done) #(mariana is not here but I care her too!! she will be here more often in the future I swear I fuckign swear......) #(''I'm in a co-op that's sponsoring my visa. also I just witnessed two actual dead bodies like a month ago'' you mean everything to me) #screams. I got attached SO fast this show is targeting me specifically. my broke millenials suffering in london show #I have like a number of sketches too be prepared. theyre gonna show up soon. until then #have a good day lads. be there! be there. #edit: this comic is finished and assembled in full before I listened to the solitary cyclist part one. this has been an update #I have now listened to SOLI part one. I must hit john watson with a hammer

[aroaceleovaldez]

HoO is so funny to me when you actually think about the ages of all the characters. Octavian is 18. Percy and Annabeth are 16, almost 17. Reyna is presumably 16. Frank just turned 16, Jason’s about to turn 16. Leo and Piper are like 15. Hazel’s like 14 and a half, and Nico is 13.

The Death Sibs are both the youngest and oldest on the Argo II. Octavian is a college freshman getting into petty drama with a bunch of high schoolers. He gets told to shut up at one point by a random 8th grader. Everyone is scared of the 8th grader. We Sent A 13 Year Old To Superhell and he came back weirder, Just Like Middle School. TLH was just three high school sophomores being sent to do a task and it going Exactly Like You’d Expect. Percy’s the only demigod on the ship who can legally drive (though Reyna gets her drivers license at some point before TOA). What Is Happening.

#pjo #hoo #heroes of olympus #riordanverse #my second favorite thing related to this is like every time Hazel references someone's age especially in SoN it's just. blatantly incorrect. #she goes into very specific detail about how she's 14. detailing like exactly how many months it had been since her birthday #and when she died and when she was brought back. just like ''okay. im 14 and a half. got that? good.'' #''anyways here's Frank. he's 3 years older than me'' like literal next chapter. we are told Frank is not 3 years older than her. #Hazel: Here's my older brother! [Nico is younger than her in literally every way feasible] #ive just decided Hazel is an unreliable narrator who is just really bad at guessing/remembering how old people are #which like. adhd mood. forgetting how old everybody is. #and she has the bonus excuse of saying her sense of time is skewed from being a ghost for so long #but it's just so funny every time she's just. with the upmost confidence. blatantly the wrong answer. #i want a scene of Hazel looking at Percy and just going ''hm. I bet he's like 20.'' and then learns he's 16 #and she's just [surprised pikachu] #also we know it isn't an error that she's 14 cause in TOA she's like ''oh yeah im learning to drive!'' #so she's 15 by then #it is however an error that *Nico* is said to be 14 in hoo cause he's 12 in TLO and 14 in TOA #but we know in HoO the reason that error was made was cause Rick hadn't figured out Nico's birthday yet #and he was flipping it between January or March #so he just forgot how old Nico is for a series and then we went back to normal

[puppyeared]

Pokeymon

@ask-willowleafeon @ask-shiny-umbreon

#fuckkkk pokeask nostalgia got me by the throat. I can’t do this again Im not strong enough (does it anyway) #drawing eeveelutions is always fun Theyre so shaped. theyre up there on fav pokemon to draw right next to dratini. and maybe shinx #these two stick out to me in my mind just cause like. their designs are so good it kind of squishes my brain the right ways #I never got to draw Percy for an ask or anything but he is. very creature #and willow of course I have a soft spot for. shes so sweet and gentle uuhghhgghhhh I love her #fuck dude .maybe I will come back adhd be damned. I dont fuckin know. really tempting rn #I tell myself that but deep down I know I suck at roleplay. but maybe I’ll do it. but I suck at roleplay. etc #btw leafeon should be allowed to be autumn coloured without being shiny. it would fix me. I just want Some Guy dressed like a maple leaf #without the awe of being a 1/1000 chance. I don’t CAREEEEE gimme the crunchy red leaveeeesss #I also wanna draw Gardevoir with a barn owl face. and leafeon with seaweed leaves #aaahhhhggghhhhh clenches my fists #pokemon #pokemon ask blog #pokeask #others oc #ask-willowleafeon #ask-shiny-umbreon #Percy umbreon #willow leafeon #myart #my art #pokemon oc

[inkskinned]

i know people are good because of this: the universe often assigns me side quests. in a circular strangeness; despite my inability to locate my-own-anything, i am almost-always finding someone else's lost things. dogs, coats, phones, cash, laptops. it happens so often it's almost tiring; suddenly being looped into a tiny amount of detective work.

but when i'm with other people who are not used to this: the response is almost invariably delight. yes, maybe they are simply thrilled by the mystery. it's just... they light up so much. i think maybe more... i think they like the opportunity to do something kind.

a few weeks ago, i was at a bar and i found a wallet as soon as we stepped outside. i felt nervous to ask for help, worried i would be holding up the night. i picked it up and said go on without me, i should help this get back to its home.

instead, three people pulled out their phones - to find him on facebook, to help cancel his credit cards. two people went back into the bar to tell the bartender, two others went calling down the street. group texts, facebook posts, instagram stories. people, without even seeing what happened, start offering help to me. fifteen minutes and: someone knows someone who knows the guy. the cheer that went up - just for finding him, just for this small thing. someone gets him on the phone. strangers dance around me, hopping on their feet - are you the girl that found that wallet? good for you, that's a good thing you're doing/same thing happened to me and somebody did what you're doing and i thank god everyday for people like you/i can't believe you found him so fast this is so exciting

i gave it back to him in a parking lot. i watched his shoulders sag with relief. there was cash in it still - he checked the pocket, and then sheepishly held the money out to me. i didn't take it. i held up my hands. "it's no problem, man. i know you'd do the same for me."

i don't know him, to be honest. i don't know if he is the same kind of person i am. but he nodded at me.

and i know people are good. i know people are good, because the way this story ends isn't surprising. we wave goodbye awkwardly. my friend loops their arm around me.

"i can't believe we got it back to him," they said. "i'm going to be riding that high for weeks."

#i lost my wallet in disney world once #and really thought i had beefed it bc i was 19 and alone #and a woman got it back to me within an hour #just like . a mom #i have no idea how she got my number or info #and i do think that since then karmatically god has been like. #ur about to be the same person in someone else's life #btw i like the side quests but they never happen at a good time #once saved 2 lost dogs while on the way to the airport. i already had my 70 pound dog in the back of my car #and had to chase 2 dogs down the street to wrastle into my passenger seat #(she ended up writing me the fucking nicest thank you card and sending me WAY #W A Y too much in target bucks as a thank-you) #i went 2 go see batman the other night and legit like. had already been running late #to go see a friend #and instead was like. sorry i have to step outside and use this person's phone to see if i can find them #i once found 250 dollars in cash lol #MEANWHILE IN MY PRIVATE LIFE #I LOSE FUCKING EVERYTHING #adhd will be like #: thou art so observant that it is distracting : #: BUT not observant towards items that are not novel to you : #: die mad about it : #: so it is written. so it must be : #: no nobody saw where you put the fucking car keys :

[pixiemage]

Holy crap I completely forgot I attempted to download the entire Unus Annus channel right before it got deleted. I just found an old hard drive in my desk I forgot I even had, and like - dude. I have no idea how many videos are on here but it HAS to be in the triple digits, including thumbnails. This is friggin' insane.

#unus annus #markiplier #crankgameplays #also I realize that goes against the entire purpose of the channel #I know that #I don't really remember trying to download these in the first place so I can't tell you where the motivation came from #I only saw like two videos back then because a lot of them dealt with some existential topics and I can't handle that kind of thing usually #so maybe I had fomo regret at the time - who can say? #I don't intend to share them on YouTube or anything like that because I know Mark and Ethan didn't want that #I just think it's bonkers that I have a partial archive of something that no longer exists on the internet #this is the coolest thing I ever forgot I did #ADHD is a trip man

[uncanny-tranny]

I jokingly thought before that reading Junie B. Jones as a kid turned me into a feminist, but unironically, it kind of did.

I honestly think it comes down to the fact that Junie B. was not only allowed to be "weird," but her character arc never concluded like other girl characters would. In other media featuring "weird girls," the girl always ended her arc tamed - by force or convince, she would be prettied up, she would smile and be polite, and she would never speak out of turn. She would be perfect then, and would shed her veneer of individuality with the freedom that is conformity. As a kid, I noticed that girls weren't permitted to be "weird" like boys were. So when I read Junie B. Jones, I loved that she was frankly just fucking weird. She said things out of turn, she was rambunctious and imaginative and she was a realistic portrayal of a little girl. I loved reading those books because the narrative taught her lessons without punishing her for being weird, if that makes sense. So often, narratives punished weird girls for the crime of being a socially unacceptable girl, not for any true wrongdoing like lying.

Anyway, I just think it's interesting, because I watched and read a ton of books and shows and movies featuring girls and women, but none of them truly empathized with (or even tried to empathize with) weird girls on their own merits and capabilities and terms, or embraced the idea of a "socially inept/unacceptable" girl without punishing her in some way for her supposed ineptitude.

#feminism #and like junie b. got in trouble A LOT but she wasn't punished FOR being weird (honestly i thought she was adhd as a kid) #i haven't read the books in WELL over a decade but this is what i truly remember liking about the books #and i felt as a kid it said something that she was a seeming rarity among the sea of other portrayals of girls #am i looking too deep into this? honestly i don't care #and it makes me wonder if all the pushback those books got was partially because junie b. wasn't an 'acceptable' girl #like she's no more 'out there' than the portrayals of little boys that are out there and there were lessons and things from what i remember #i'm not saying you HAVE to like the books by the way but i think sometimes other people can get really angry about GIRLS acting like kids #i was ranting about these books to my dad because he didn't like them but he did still let me read them so thanks dad 🫡🫡 #i just remember them being a huge part of my personal library because of how realistic and relatable junie b. was #like i acted really similarly to her when i was a kid and i felt like i was being understood (which is why i hc she's adhd/audhd/autistic)

[4chtungb4by]

Tomothy Selleck for my drawing classssss sketchbook woohoo

#my autism superpowers made this #I don't understand #but i kind of love how I make like. really good portraits maybe once every two years #Like Emma come on you are sleeping on your abilities here #unfortunately I have just enough adhd to hate doing the same thing for a milisecond too long #so my autism superpowers don’t get used v often #I do need to do more portraiture though like my own style always improves whenever I do #maybe one day ill do the 100 head challenge or smth #anyway im rambling hahahaha

[piskelo10]

I read all the reblog tags on the other post and I am so happy

#neurodivergent #neurodiverse artist #adhd #adhd creature #art #doodle #doodles #wholesome #y'all are so nice and amazing #the adhd creature is pleased #having adhd is really hard and I only found out I had it a few months ago (got diagnosed) and just seeing y'all be able to relate #and say so much nice stuff made me feel a bit better about it #so thanks for that #ily /p #glad you like my funny little scrunkly creatura

[infiniteorangethethird]

ik the common agreement in neurodivergent circles seems to be that we all function better at night but here's to the ones who are on the opposite end of the spectrum. To the early birds who wake at 7 and can't stay up past 10pm. To the ones who are left out of almost every social event bc everything seems to be happening after 8 but you're normally in bed by that point. To the ones who are made fun of bc "only little kids go to bed that early". To the ones who, even if they wanted to, can never seem to find their place among others bc of society's expectation that the real fun only begins after midnight. I see you, I feel you, and I wish you a very same

#it's especially annoying bc everyone around me seems to believe #that THEY are the weird one/minority for going to sleep at 4am #when i have literally never. not once. met someone who went to bed at 10pm like me #as part of their natural sleep cycle #& ik i can't be mad at others bc you don't really pick your sleep cycle but like. #a lot of the time it feels like they aren't even trying to involve me #bc 'if i wanted to be involved i should have just stayed awake longer' #instead of like. starting shit earlier or idk #and then im the idiot for not being able to force myself to stay awake #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #adhd #actually adhd #autistic #autism #actually autistic