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#actually u know what this isnt that many of them ill probably get it done
hollowisthyname · 2 years
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Tell me about your aro slut ocs
HEHEHEHEHE OK SO IM TRYING TO GIVE THEM A LOT OF DIFFERENT SEXUALITIES AND STUFF SO I ONLY HAVE ONE RN BUT ILL TELL U ABT THEM !!!!!!! :D
(rant under the cut , cw for some sexual themes but nothing explicit)
ok so !!!! this is onyx hart , amd they're alloaro , pansexual , and polyamorous !! it uses they/it pronouns and neos that i haven't decided on yet , theyre one of my favorites i think abt them a lot hehe
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this is my most recent picrew of em , kinda a redesign but the only thing i really changed was the hair fghjhgfd the rest of its design is p much the same
onyx is a ghost , a performer , and yes 100% a slut >:] they struggle with getting close to people and forming connections but it's trying its best , and they've got a group of friends helping :D
theyre a v good actor and they know a lot of performance stuff (acrobatics , magic tricks , etc) , and performing is basically their entire life (escapism who?) it knows how to give people exactly what they want , so it has no trouble w being a slut but because of that they kinda have trouble letting down the facade it puts on around people bc its not used to being seen for who it really is and theyre just a teensy bit scared that ppl won't like them if they're not trying to make them happy all the time (people pleaser who ?)
(brief interlude just to clarify that it's not aromantic "because" of this , they'd be aro either way , and its aromanticism is actually a contributing factor to this fear or being known and feeling of isolation bc for a long long time they didnt have the words for their experience and it's internalized the feeling of its attraction being wrong and bad so all that just adds to the already prevalent attachment issues)
they feel very intense attraction to people sometimes , which isnt romantic it's just A Lot (probably closer to obsession than romantic attraction , and on the off chance that anyone wants to attack me for this i am truly just taking my own experience w attraction and slapping it on this poor character so please don't) , and all of that is p confusing and hard to figure out and deal with sometimes but they're learning to be honest w the object(s) of their affections so everyone can set boundaries and be comfortable ! healthy relationships :D
i think i will be done now bc im sleepy and u probably don't want me to go down the rabbit hole of explaining all their lore bc that will take many days and probably fill a couple novels (/ex) but i love talking abt this dude so if u ever want to hear more just say the word !! i am hoping desperately that this post is coherent bc im writing this at 2am and my brain is not quite running at full capacity FGHJHGF
tl;dr - onyx is a polyam alloaro w a complicated relationship to ...... relationships , but they're working stuff out and getting better at dealing with the difficulties they face !!
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asahicore · 1 year
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come to the conclusion i apperently didnt read this fic. SO HEAR U GO
That weekend, your parents ask you to do something about the cherries slowly starting to spoil in the fridge, so you put on your headphones and listen to an audiobook for entertainment, then get to pitting. It feels wrong to listen to The Kiss Quotient and its many smut scenes when your parents are coming and going out of the room, but what they don’t know won’t kill them; you just try to keep your reactions to a minimum during the extra spicy scenes.
HELLO ?!??!! SHES SO LMAOSHSKS. NAH I LAUGHED okay me personally enjoyed kiss quotient and rest of the three series. specially the next two talking about the struggles of autism or the how broad spectrum of autsim was. it was a good read for me from 2022. yeah... back to this tho. omg i might try this recipe off topic. It sounds good but ill end up eating the cherries cuz i love them.
If this were a cartoon or a 2012 teen show, you’d probably drop the pie tin, but thankfully, your hands aren’t that sweaty, and the shock of the man from the other day at the store being your neighbor isn’t that great, because of course, of course he’s your neighbor. You’re Y/N, after all; the almighty gods above would never let you have a boring, uneventful summer. Of course the hot new man in town is your neighbor.
can we talk bout these descriptions its so accurate like you just out do yourseld everytime ma'am. Its so attention grabbing. damn i regret not listening well during english lessons. i just wanna say to a masterpiece like this is SLAY THIS WAS SO GOOD SCRWAMINGSJSK i need to be able to go indept like how my eng teacher goes into dept about anytype of writing.
A walking wet dream. That’s what this man is. He’s walked right out of your deepest Wattpad-induced fantasies and into the house next door. Probably doesn’t help that you’d been listening to literary porn just fifteen minutes prior. 
SEE ITS SO PRECISE???? SO REAL??? hes so cute nervous plss
“My friends and I used to make stories about how this place is haunted, you know,” you say jokingly.
GHOST HUNTING FR
"We’ve been more roommates than a couple for the past six years. And you know, we kept on living together for Chaer mainly, but she’s found a new boyfriend and I wanted to have my own place. Which has led me here.”
its nice to see them on not bad terms
Your hot new neighbor was actually a DILF, you realized a bit inappropriately, perhaps. Cherry on top.
not the right time BABE 😭😭 BUT GO OFF
“You any good with kids?” he asks, leaning against the doorway with crossed arms and a smirk that makes your heart flutter.
hOON HMM YOU JUST MET HER WOAH WOAH.
“No one’s asking you to be that girl’s mom,” she says, dishing out some meat for the three of you. “I’d go get that man, if I were you.”
STOPDBDKD SO REAL OF HER 🗣🗣 SPEAK YOUR TRUTH BABE. omg HAHAHAA I LOVE THIS PART. IM SO SORRY BUT THIS ISNT EVEN FICTION THIS WHAT MY FRIENDS AND ME TALK ABOUT RANDONLY IM GOING TO CRY THIS IS FUNNY IN A GOOD WAY AND ENJOY IT
One afternoon, you’d made sure to go and sunbathe in your bikini at the exact moment he was doing some work outside, and even then, he merely gave your body a one-over and disappeared a few minutes later inside his house.
yes GIRLY GO OFF. SO GIRL BOSS YES YES GO BABE
It doesn’t help that you see his flexing, working muscles and beads of sweat on his hairline everyday.
he said two can play the game 💪💪
“I-I’m sorry, Y/N, I don’t know what came over me. We shouldn’t do this, it’s not- I shouldn’t have done that,” he sighs, looking defeatedly at the ground.
omg he :(( NO but i understand his pov on this moment omg
“If you swallow it, a tree will grow inside your belly and make you puke out cherries,” he’d lied when it was just the two of you at the outdoor table. 
every parent ever. i accidentally sallowed some seed and almost cried cuz i thought a plant will grow out of me ? I MEAN INSIDE OF ME 😭
Finally kissing him, and the next afternoon, you were browsing through the endless aisles of your local IKEA, holding his daughter’s hand and pretending like you hadn’t kissed her daddy.
nah babe yall are a couple now also. look at that "FAMILY" outting at IKEA...
He’s a really good dad, and that does nothing whatsoever to stop your DILF fantasies, although now, it’s really Sunghoon that you want, and the fact that he’s a dad isn’t a dealbreaker, it just makes him that much better.
SO TRUE AND SO REAL
“Are you sure about this? ‘Cause if you tell me that you want me… then I’ll be all yours, Sunghoon,”
If you concentrate you can hear me scream lose my shit over this line. Crying bleeding losing fighting throwing up climbing walls and umm drinking water. yes i feel extremely normal about this sentence.
currently scrwaming btw. im PMFYDHDJB AHHHVDIDIEK yes.
“That’s a good girl,”
HAHAHAAHHAAH (losing my mind fr) STOP THE WEEKND IS PLAYING on SHUFFLE UMM SPOTIFY KNOWS FR.
So, tell me, what’s your favorite position, princess?”
HELLONITS ALKOST 12 AM AND IM TRYING NOT TO SCREAM HELLODJDOS ONFUSKS HELLON!???! WEEKND PLAYING ISNT HELPING OMGSJS WOAH.
“Of course not. Is Heeseung your new dad?” he asks, mentioning his ex’s new boyfriend. Chaer shakes her head.“No. He’s Mommy’s boyfriend.” “Exactly, and Y/N is Daddy’s girlfriend. Isn’t she?” he asks, raising an eyebrow at you, smirking.
this part was funny hehehe
“My girls,”
HELLLO THATS SO CUTE SJNSNS OMFSUNDS I JUSGSIJS S CRYODND WHAT ONSISJSK I LOVEVYEH ENDINDG SM ITS LIKE IDNKDND SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR ENDINDS OPEN ENDED OR HAPPY ITS SO CUTE AND WHOLESPME I LOve iT AND I LIve FOR IT. Just SOOSHIDKD AHHHBSIHDKSN. OKAY GOODNIGHT ITS ALMOST 12 AM AND I HAVE WORK AS FIRST THING TMW
🍓 anon
🍓 anon as i type this i am buying a diamond ring to ask u to marry me..... OH MY GODDDDD
fun fact the whole kiss quotient audiobook thing is from my life lol i listened to the book and didnt love it.. literally loved stella but the male lead i forgot his name was so bleh just typical overprotective romance lead or wtv so i wasnt really planning on reading/listening mroe.. but if u think its worth it i might give it a shot
IM SO HAPPY U LIKE THE DESCRIPTIONS OMG <///3 i dont go into like detail or anythign ever but i do try to add funny (?) things or small descriptions here and there.. !!!!
ur right sunghoon asking her if shes good with kids on their second meeting is kinda wild 😭😭😭 mans has his priorities straight
"If you concentrate you can hear me scream lose my shit over this line. Crying bleeding losing fighting throwing up climbing walls and umm drinking water. yes i feel extremely normal about this sentence." this made me laugh soooo much oh my god
NOT THE WEEKND PLAYING DURING THE SMUT SCENE😭😭😭😭 ur fbi agent watching a little bit too closely at ur online activity
BAHAHA I HOPE UR WORK WENT WELL BUT OMG THANK U SO SO SO MUCH FOR THISSSSS I LOVE UUUUUUU
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kimodraw · 3 years
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going to try making short animations of my fav xmen like this! dont hold me accountable tho it may be too much work for me lol
cyclops
mystique
wolverine
kitty pryde
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matchamabs · 3 years
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I know you didn’t ask for it but- BOTW MONSTERS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE,,,,
i do fuck all in the days lemme tell ya
ill admit i havent done EVERY enemy but like. i do enjoy making these posts so who knows, i might actually rank everything sooner or later 🤷‍♀️
,,,,, and if u want a specific ranking of botw/aoc stuff lmk 👀
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ahh the ol reliable. the classic bokoblin. he is just a little lad! unfortunately they’re genuinely kind of ugly??? and the idk the singular horn in the middle aint a good look. i see cute comics abt these guys being domestic and thats adorable but also giving them so much leeway bc they’re really Not that cute. not sure what the loincloth is hiding and im not sure i wanna know anyway. 3/10 really kind of. not good. 
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slightly bigger loincloth only means slightly bigger things to hide :( i rlly hate these guys noses and whatever the fuck toenails they have why do they have toenails?????? s’bad. the thing is tho they have the proportions of a potentially attractive gerudo which is probably what takes the edge off the general vibes of... u know... being an abomination. its also only JUST occured to me as im writing that these guys r just evolved bokoblins so. glow up i guess. 6/10 what that tongue do
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ok bypassing whatever the fuck rule 34 has done to these guys, i actually dig them. i find the huge fat ones way cuter than the lil bug eyed ones. in their case theres rlly no, like... hotness about them. its just cute. i think they’re cute. any monster that is cute and also doubles up as a bed gets my vote 7/10 get urself a fella as flexible as these guys 
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u know what, im gonna say it, these guys r actually kinda hot. proportions arent super bad, the face aint bad and generally they have good vibes. aside from, u know, when they’re tryna shank u. id say one of the most bearable monsters to have to look at. 8/10 im not a scalie
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??????????? idk what to say. u could tie these little shits to like swingball poles and beat them with rackets thatd b good. aside from that these guys have like no redeeming qualities. they’re a pain in the ass and not in a good way. 3/10 cute but like. is it worth it?
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i mean,,,,,,,, someones probably into it. i dont like these guys for a lot of reason and surprisingly the thing that gets me is the fucking hair why does it have that hair its like he-man just went straight over the top with an electric razor its not a good look!!! stop trying to make it work! it wont! and again with the loincloth??? im not into it. the only thing i like abt these guys is the lil waistcoats. they have some amount of decency (but the implications it makes are Not Good). uh. 2/10. barely.
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,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,9/10. but if you see a lynel up close like that chances are you died about half a minute ago
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again. ??? i dont rlly like. i mean. im digging the top heavy proportions? its got the same body type as kass so like. 4/10. bit plain around the features but what can u do. i dont understand how but the igneo taluses are like. sexier 
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UGHGHHH I FUCKING HATE THESE THINGS okay okay okay like these motherfuckers lure u in by being quite cute and dancin around and then u get a look at their faces and its like fucking JESUS and its even WORSE when you see under their cloak and they have no necks????? and like????? they do that gay little fucking dance that pisses me off???? they’re wearing hoods that give the ILLUSION that they have necks and im im fumin ok i HATE it i hate it i have been betrayed and i will NEVER FORGET ABOUT IT UGHGHGHG I HATE THESE CUNTS -10000000000000000000000000000000000/10 die
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hhhhh i just dont like em. theyre too annoying to be cute now. and whats gonna happen if i squeeze one? is like. water gonna come out? r they just gonna deflate? 4/10 tentacles are not hyrules forte it seems ://
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trust kohga to send the twinks out on the front line. seriously. they’re not bad tho? kinda small and underwhelming :((( tho i give extra points for the good crazy laugh we love a good manic cackle 6/10 they dont really count as monsters but ah well where else am i gonna put em
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now THATS what im talkin about babeyyyyy we love the muscles,,,,, the posture,,, the stride,,, we love it when u fuck up stealth and a torrential downpour of these motherfuckers come down to beat ur ass,,,,, 9/10 its raining men 😎
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u know. u dont rlly like. get a good view of these guys when ur balls deep in a battle with them, but the more i get like closer looks at them the more i go ???? like idk. everything about them looks backwards and wrong. but as far as backwards and wrong goes its not a bad look and the boss theme is a banger so 4/10 maybe dont jump on my ass every time i step one foot onto the desert :/
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i just. i dont dig it. idk why. aside from the fact they’re a monumental pain in my ass, and now everytime i hear a beep even slightly resembling a guardian i shit my pants, but. idk??? as far as robots go its not like. terrible. they’re like the milfs of robots. the milves, if u will. a rilf. except i wouldnt. so its more like riwlf. but even that leaves too much up to interpretation so im just gonna call em a cunt and go. 4/10 leg game strong
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here we are,,, the big boys,,,, waterblight isnt too bad i will admit, but the spear hand is both annoying and mildly inconvenient. its got a rlly big chest but rlly thin arms?? also not sure how i feel abt the strap on beard but oh well its not like ganons got taste. 5/10 kind of average for a blight i think
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a hefty motherfucker. a chunk of a lad. big large. the fact this is like one of the easiest blights makes it more forgiveable to me but like whatever its got going on with the 80s hair needs 2 be sorted out. i like its moves but it doesnt hang upside down like waterblight :((( 5/10 calm down kate bush
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ok who doesnt like gun arms. and a gun back. this things like fuckin megatron. the whole face plate thing doesnt look bad either. honestly its kind of a look? but its dickheadery in aoc makes me wanna set shit on fire so :// 6/10 hot but will not leave u alone 😔
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ok this one is by FAR the sexiest of all the blights. i just cant explain it. i like guys with bad posture. i had an easy time beating it but apparently its given other people a lot of grief and that makes it 10x more sexy to me lmaooo. also it can clone itself which is like. thats a win. 8/10 ganon spilt all the sexy juice into this one
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ok i didnt realise how many arms this motherfucker has and the whole hairline behind the ears thing is not a great look. especially w the beard. in fact the longer i look at it the less sexy it becomes tbh. 3/10 they tried to make arachnophobia sexy and it didnt work
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10/10 i will be taking questions in my inbox but i wont be taking constructive criticism and you cant make me 
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adorable-deku · 3 years
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another au: the 'knowledge is power' au
izukus quirk is called 'knowledge is power' if thats not immediately obvious.
the more he knows about someone, the more power he has over them. this is mot objective physical power, but perceived power imbalance and persuasive power
the more izuku knows about someone, the harder his punches will feel even if hes not punching any harder. on the same note, the more he knows about someone, the easier it becomes to persuade them
important to keep in mind: he doesnt actually have to know them. for instance if he didnt know someone but researched them to hell and back and found out tons of information, he would still have that persuasive power and the other person would perceive him to be stronger
this works in reverse as well, unfortunately for izuku. the more u know about him the easier he is to both persuade and beat
this does not work to izukus favor in the case of one katsuki bakugou
to start from the beginning, the quirk test, he doesnt have the joint but theyve got no earthly clue what his quirk could be
hes very oddly weak to bakugou compared to other kids who he handles easily, so it cant just be a strength quirk
over time he notices the difference between the people he loses against and the ppl he wins against: knowledge imbalance
to make this absolutely clear: izuku, the first time he met all might, wouldve been able to win against him bc he knows a shitton abt all might and all might knows next to nothing abt him
the reason hes fighting at all is because bakugou insists hes quirkless and the believe the explodey kid
izuku starts to become secretive, for a very practical reason: to not get beat up. he doesnt reveal anything abt himself if he absolutely doesnt have to
at the same time, he often asks questions, becomes quite excellent at getting information from ppl just from watching them. he also gets good at weaselling info out of ppl verbally without giving anything away abt himself
however: he has a bakugou issue. that being, at this point he knows more abt bakugou than bakugou knows about him and bakugous like 'did u have a fucking quirk this whole time and not tell me?!'
and izukus like 'ive been working out recently. though i do also happen to have a quirk which ive told u about multiple times'
anyway sometimes bakugou pretends to be his friend so he can get more information and win against izuku. izuku is soft on him and forgives him a lot but it gives him serious trust issues
by the time we get to the slime villain, izuku deals w it pretty easily bc hes figured out more abt it than it has abt him and by the time all might gets there hes just chunks of slime on the ground
all mights like 'whoa boy, what happened here'
izuku, still worshipping all might but v reluctant to give out info bc of previously mentioned trust issues, "i dont know, i just got here"
so the whole saving bakugou thing doesnt happen and izuku doesnt get all mights quirk
he rolls up to the ua entrance exam, sees robots, and is like 'aw what the fuck man'
'fucking fine. i cant fight the robots but this definitely isnt safe at all so i guess ill help out my potential classmates. whatever. at least its an opportunity to gain info."
he gets into the hero class on exactly as many rescue points as bakugou did combat points
bakugou is really mad about it
he tries to fight izuku and loses
they get to the quirk exam and izuku doesnt do super well on the test bc his quirk doesnt work on objects only ppl and aizawa abt to condemn him to the general classes
izukus like 'if i fight against u and win can i stay in'
aizawas like 'if ur this arrogant its probably for the best that i kick u out'
izukus wins, and he wouldnt have won if he hadnt caught aizawa by suprise. see, izuku has done a disgusting amount of research on eraserhead, so the knowledge imbalance is like a vast canyon
he tells aizawa to close his eyes, and aizawa is caught off guard and the persuasive power comes into play, so he does, momentarily not being able to use his quirk at the beginning of the fight
izuku just fucking throws himself at him as quickly as he can, the perceived power imbalance absolutely knowcking aizawa to the ground
aizawas like 'jesus christ fine i underestimated u'
izuku gets to 1A, and hes just a bit too satisfied w it for aizawas comfort
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volfoss · 3 years
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how about ranking bucciarati's team?
regret to inform you that ur gonna get a very long answer bc i have passionate feelings about them all! also trish is in this bc she is part of the team and no one will tell me otherwise and will also include some rambling bc it is me and i have so many feelings towards these characters and none of them r cohesive
under the cut just in case (post writing yes it was long)
Giorno Giovanna:
way way more complex than ppl normally give him credit for (i will not go into feelings on how a majority of the fandom treats him unless ppl want me to then i will in fact make a very long ranty post and will not be stopped)
mildly op (esp at the beginning with how hes kind of able to just use his stand really well w no problems altho i think thats true of most of the jojos that we have seen animated?)
i am emotionally attached to him and want to give him a big hug
hes just a kinda goofy kid and is maybe a bit not good with figuring out hey this is a semi dangerous situation maybe i shouldnt be taunting him (leaky eye luca for example)
has the actual best theme
i love how he works off the rest of the team so well (even w members who do not like him)
is in my top 3 jojos i love this kid sm i would adopt him if he was real
7/10
Bruno Bucciarati:
the fucking way his character develops from licky man to best dad material is my favorite thing
his outfit is so so so good i would die to wear it
in general this man is one of my fave jojos characters and i get a lot of comfort from him
hes just really neat and has a good taste in music
he did his fucking best and i will always love him for that
imo the way that his death was drawn out was genuinely one of the most heartbreaking deaths in the entire series and fucks me up each time i think of it
i feel like he really is the one to hold the team together in a way that everyone feels cared for and saved
def has a savior complex tho for sure
dilf but im ace
also manga superiority bc he either makes the stupidest faces or looks very nice (anime has a lot of weird animation in regards to his face) and also because its lingerie there instead of a tattoo that changes thickness and placement every second
10/10
Leone Abbacchio:
guilty pleasure liking man
i am obsessed with his vibes and wish to become him
i cannot physically express just how much i love him but hes one of my faves of all time (not obvious by my theme at all wdym)
i miss his manga palette but also the colored manga isnt my beloved but also black lipstick abba
hot take maybe but anime abba looks better than manga minus the lipstick debacle
hes so so tall and i will steal his height in a nice way
his past man his past it fucks me up
his death fucks me up normally but when i was rewatching recently, i saw he gave this tiny lil smile after helping the kids get their ball and i could not take it anymore
him and brunos relationship (canonically and out of canon too) is one of my favorites in the series
also fandom hot take as i guess i am doing those for everyone- but ppl either have him as cosntantly trying to murder giorno or being like good son and v out of character, and it is really weird? not sayign that ill do better when i write them but also like im convinced some ppl havent seen the show or smth
i will steal both him and bruno and marry them both <3
this man is beloved i love him to death
10/10
Pannacotta Fugo:
i cannot spell his first name to save my life
also fandom take- ppl make him constantly only angry boy all the time and it really irks me. ik araki did not give him 2 much to work w in terms of canon personality but its frustrating
the light novel purple haze feedback is so so so good and adds sm to his character and i really like it for that!
fugo is one of those that imo deserves a lot and didnt get that
genuinely the vibes between how he treats narancia is v interesting to me, like its clear he cares about nara but nara not doing great w math really frustrates him
i love their interactions and how he is genuinely a kind person at times
the manga colors r superior here, my strawberry boy <3
i just really love and appreciate him a lot and wish that ppl gave him more love
i keep getting assigned him on kin quizzes
very smart good boy
ALSO ok fugo did not do any wrong by leaving
unsure if thats a hot take but i genuinely dont blame the character one bit for leaving and again purple haze feedback really delves into that and why he did it
if ur a fugo fan go read it
his past is really upsetting esp in the anime i will cry over it
his stand is adorable and i wanna hug it
his vibes r fun and i wanna gift him strawberry dangly earrings
8/10
Narancia Ghirga:
this boy i am also adopting (i am adopting most of them sorry)
i really hate how ppl act as if hes stupid bc bad math skills do not equal stupid like did ppl not see the fight w formaggio??
the way he just fucking dove into the water after the boat and how brunos face went all soft and happy it will never not make me cry
he is constnatnly making me wanna cry if i think too much about him for 2 seconds i love him sm
how can anyone not adore him when he set an entire street on fire yk
hes just happy despite his past and it makes me sad i love nara sm
torture dance is one of my favorite memes from the show
ALSO ok the way he died so suddenly absolutely broke me bc the remaining team members r really just seeing everyone die in front of them so quickly
his goofy and laid back moments r my fave
i love just how loyal and caring he is to his friends
his stand is really cool and again the fight w formaggio was so fun to watch
8/10
Guido Mista:
probably my least favorite member of the team for a semi good reason:
the jokes towards trish are really really uncomfy and how fugo doesnt wanna be involved but he is pushing him to do something that makes him uncomfortable did not make me like him a lot
hes goofy but not goofy enough for me to be ok with the repeated jokes about that esp in the body swap episode (ik it was supposed to be funny but it just felt off)
his vibes r good but i wish we got to see his hair
the fandom interpretation is normally pretty good of him overall?
despite not loving him a lot, i really enjoying writing for him (one day might open up headcanon requests or smth but unsure)
hes someone id wanna watch movies w but his taste in movies and mine r very different
love how he and his stand get along
honestly has very very good comedic potential
i really like how he and giorno interact as the series goes on (in a platonic way i need to clarify that i love their friendship)
again him in purple haze feedback was really interesting
probably a 5/10?
Trish Una:
beloved and deserved better
her first outfit in the manga > outfit in the anime
actually in general i believe in manga trish superiority like her hair in the manga looks so cool
her stand her stand her stand i love sm
if u dont include trish in the group i am murdering u <3
HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! IS SO GOOD!!!!!!
fandom gripe is how people either pretend she does not exist or has the trish first introduction thing where shes using her defense mechanisms and acting a bit spoiled
OK but her in purple haze feedback!!! mild spoilers but how bruno was taking care of her post the ending of vento aureo makes me so happy each time i think of it
very mad that she canonically didnt really get an ending and yet again PHF my beloved actually gave her that
how spice girl starts out as a stand thats helping her thru a very stressful situation is so cool and i love it
DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO *frothes at the mouth*
but more seriously how she leans on bruno and begins 2 trust him and nearly point blank is referring to him as a father figure always fucks me up
esp because of the resulting fight afterwards
and the very ending of the arc that ends w bruno being like bye gonna go in the clouds and look ethereal now, oh man it makes me so sad
bc giorno is the only one that knew what happened and people that were closer to bruno due to knowing him longer didnt
i wanna see how trish coped w that personally
despite being introduced not at the beginning i think her arc and character in general were as well paced as it could be!
9/10
finally done! sorry that took so long but oh man i have so many feelings towards these guys its not even funny
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Siblings in Writing
(edit: this was not supposed to be as mean/angry as it sounded! this is really just one type of sibling relationship, albeit a type of relationship i often see underrepresented in writing. my experiences are not everybody’s experiences, and i’m sorry for the parts of this post that make it sound that way. use whatever kind of sibling relationship you’d like--just make sure your siblings have fought (small or big disagreements) at least once!)
ANGRY INTRO
yall. PLEASE. NOT ALL SIBLINGS CALL EACH OTHER “sissy”, “sis”, OR “bro”.
I DON’T CARE HOW CLOSE THEY ARE. ANY AND EVER SIBLING PAIR HAS FOUGHT. and TWINS?? a lot of twins aren’t as close as you think they are. i know like 3 pairs of twins and usually they are TEARING EACH OTHER’S THROATS OUT.
me and my brother???? we have our nice moments where hes like “hey adele look at this thing i drew, do you like it? i don’t think i did a good job but--”
“i think it’s really cool”
but most of the time???????? he calls me bitch and i insult him TO THE MAX.
PLEASE EVEN IF THE SIBLING PAIR YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT IS CLOSE, THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY THEY ARE AS CLOSE AS YOU THINK THEY ARE.
younger siblings do things they would never, ever do with anybody else solely for the purpose of annoying their older sibling. older siblings, at times, will go into homicidal rage.
ALTERNATE GREETINGS:
“what’s up?” “go away” “no”
*silence*
“hey” “hi” *separate ways*
“hey full name other doesn’t usually use” “I literally hate you so much”
older: “NAMEEEEEEE! mom/dad/other wants you!” younger: “fuck off” older: “i’m going to break your nose” younger: “with mom/dad/other standing right there? yeah sure”
younger: “why are you here” older: “cause it’s my room, fuck nugget, get out”
older: “WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN MY ROOM” younger: “oof someone had a bad day” older: “IM GOING TO KILL YOU”
“i hate your face” “cool, i have food” “give me some”
“NAMMMMMMEEEEEEE! dinner’s ready!” “yeah yeah okay give me a second i’ll be right down”
“why did you have to come here?” “this is,,,, our house,,,,, that i too live in” “yeah but i was hoping you’d get run over by a bus” “why thank you, i was too”
MORE ABOUT TWINS
i dont care if you want your siblings to be close or whatever, do you know how INFURIATING it is to have a twin????? especially an IDENTICAL ONE???
if you have identical twins, they are going to hate each other’s guts for 3/4s (or more) of the time. having somebody who looks just like you, living in the same house as you, probably going to the same school as you, who has the same birthday as you, and most likely sleeps in/super close to the room you sleep in? actual hell. especially if they have a lot of the same interests/friends as you do. this experience is horror in it’s rawest form. nobody wants this. they want the “close, happy twins who do EVERYTHING together and have since they were born!!!”
IMAGINE A SIBLING RELATIONSHIP, BUT THEY LOOK J U S T  L I K E  Y O U AND ARE A L W A Y S  W I T H  Y O U.
remember what i said about hell?
(possibility: if the one identical twin is better at something or more liked than the other, it fuckin sucks. imagine this experience in the school halls: “eva???? what are you wearing???? oh my god, did your mom mix up your clothes with jasmine’s again? i feel sooo bad for you!!”
“actually this is... jasmine. eva has spanish right now.”
“oh. whatever.”
sucks, right?)
forcing that kind of relationship on your fictional twins is both unrealistic and tbh kind of scary.
now, twins who don’t look the same. everything i just said, but minus the appearance. yeah. i can see the shitshow now!
THE YOUNGER SIBLING DILEMMA
coming from an older sibling, younger siblings are satan.
they will:
annoy the older sibling at all costs
never do anything the older sibling says
“why does SHE/HE/THEY get to be in charge!!!!” whines the sibling who is literally four years younger and still can’t spell phone without replacing the “ph” with “f”
snitchin little bitches
older sibling: *flicks younger lightly on arm* younger sibling, tears of lies and deceit running down their face while they grin, knowing they will be believed: MOOOOOOOM NAME PUNCHED MEEEEEEEEEE
eat all the sweets
then they will blame it on the older sibling
literally, they will blame anything on the older sibling
watches an r-rated move -> name said it was alright!!!! (i most certainly DID NOT)
“MOOOOOOOOOOM NAME ISNT LETTING ME HANG OUT WITH HER FRIEEEEEENDDDDDDSSS” “YOU HAVE COME WITH US 16 TIMES THIS WEEK”
admittedly, they can be cool 1/324532 of the time. make sure to include these cool moments once in a blue moon bc sadly they do happen
POSSIBLY will feel like older gets more attention sometimes
DEFFINETLY feels like the older gets more freedom
OLDER SIBLINGS
i, as an older sibling, am biased. ill do my best tho
insults the younger sibling (SOMETIMES unfairly actually a lot unfairly)
ill add this to younger in a moment but on the flipside the younger sibling probably feels like the OLDER sibling gets more attention instead
takes out problems on sibling/family (to be fair when younger grows up they do this too)
“pshhhhhhhh, TRUST me, you do NOT want a sibling”
*to friend* “i literally hate him/her/them/other so much. i would kill him/her/them/other if i had the chance” “no you wouldn’t” “are you sure”
���nah man, you can’t talk shit about him/her/them/other, only I can talk shit about my sibling” *immediate fist fight/verbal decimation*
if a younger child is talking shit, they will be BLACKLISTED AND DESTROYED. probably more than is fair.
probably has hurt the younger sibling pretty badly at some point, most likely by accident but if it doesnt fit you storyline,,,, i have done despicable things
underestimates their strength when dealing with younger sibling
“WHY WONT YOU JUST FUCKING LISTEN TO ME” “YOURE NOT MOM” “YEAH BUT MOM PUT ME IN CHARGE DIPSHIT”
“i am not his/her/their/other parent, why do i have to do this”
younger sibling, to older: “son of a bitch” “we literally have the same mother”
“I SWEAR TO GOD CAN YOU EVEN DRESS YOURSELF???? CAN YOU???? CAN YOU????????????”
“haha ur scared of the daaaaaarrrrrrrk” older says, as their brain is in a panic about whether or not there’s a serial killer in the dark room waiting to kill them
so yeah. i have so many metas i need to write about so many things
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ok i got the aesvic out of my system now time to pick apart the letter n why i wont really be following aesops diary exactly here. literally no one asked but i wanted to get my thoughts down somewhere cos i have. a lot
just gonna put a quick rundown of aesops diary entry as a refresher (mostly for myself so i dont miss anything): he dreamt that he was helping jerry with what was probably a murder n was affirmed n he thinks its a sign congratulating him on carrying out his duty. over the years, he carries out his duties as an undertaker n comes to the manor looking for a “fresh start” aka what sounds like his first victim. according to aesop, said victim should be quiet, n potential victim number 1 is victor. something about badly needing him to become his “silent friend” n he mentions he’ll get to wick n the 2 other survivors in due time, but for now he’s very eager to start his “mission”.
im generally okay with the letter (i have seen so many fights over this aha) cos there is no surprise he wants to kill ppl (ppl who r fighting over this point. did u even read his deductions?? guy happily killed his mentor??). but i didnt quite like the fact that he still looks up to jerry (although. i guess thats valid i just. dont like it). i was also initially kind of confused about the real reason why he would want to kill ppl since as u progress through the letter it sounds less like he kills for duty (cos of the whole dream thing at the start) but more “because i want to :)”, which is an okayish edgy kinda take imo. like not that u cant characterize aesop as Kill Kill Murder Die, but i kinda find that. pretty boring in the long term.
im just gonna put what my original take on aesop was, like all of it. first off, he hates jerry. u cannot tell me a psychotic serial killer like that can raise a child without emotional trauma. like any child, this isnt even counting the extra damage done because hes autistic. (n i also hc that aesop has read his moms letter to him at some point, n he should have come to the conclusion that it was somewhat also jerrys fault, whether through logic or denial that his mom would want to leave him, so that just adds to it.) but as much as he hates him, his teachings are the only ones hes been exposed to, n its been so ingrained in him since young so even if he hates jerry he would still subscribe to whatever twisted ideology jerry was feeding him, which ill get to in a sec.
going through his accessories, he has that origami that he folds for each of his clients, n it shows that underneath it all, aesop is still kind. this isnt expected of him n its definitely not part of his job scope as an embalmer. he (still?) has the heart to wish the best for those that have departed n takes the time n effort to fold one for each n every client he sends off, which is probably a lot. so going off on that, my hc is that jerry, being the manipulative asshole that he is (who probably definitely manipulated his mom into indirect suicide) probably used his kindness against him to make him believe that by murdering ppl he is helping them, framing all of his serial kills as a sort of mercy kill (like his mom). so the thing that aesop takes away from all this is the very twisted logic that by killing ppl he is helping them, therefore being a good embalmer and a good person in general. n everyone wants to be a sort of good person, or at least for aesop that is part of his job description to be a good embalmer. n we all know aesop is very serious about his job.
i also hc that he has killed several ppl between killing jerry n coming to the manor, cos i follow the story that he took the invitation from that poor lady n thats how he ended up at the manor. surely the lady didnt come to him right after jerry died?? but anyway, the way i see it is that he thought he liked to kill. like he finally truly understood why jerry kills so much (which is interesting now that i think about it. guy really just went along with all those murders without truly believing huh), because it felt good to kill. at least thats what he thought, the revelation that killing felt good n is good, but i say its because he hated jerry, n offing someone u kinda hate should probably feel pretty gucci. n its also so much easier to pick clients off the streets than in the manor, so i would think that he has killed ppl like his mentor did, but each time he did the great feeling that came with ending ppls life just. wasnt as good as the first time round. it just became a sort of normal satisfaction of a successful embalming.
this can go two ways: 1. he keeps on killing to try to find that great feeling again, which is cool i guess (n probably what canon would want, except canon states that he hasnt killed since jerry), but id like to go with 2. he just stops because jerry isnt around to enforce it whenever he isnt feeling up to psychoing someone to their death (which is probably how jerry got his victims, n damn if that doesnt take a lot of mind games that i dont think aesop has the mental capacity for since half of it is fighting with his social anxiety n other issues. dealing with alive strangers?? no thanks?? i doubt he would have learnt properly how to lure in clients as efficiently as jerry because of this, mostly cos he was only needed for the murder afterparty aka embalming n funerals). n as much as he stays professional, there is no. professional way of gaslighting someone to their death.
(n also since ppl have pointed out that his twitter replies n other kinda informal stuff have shown that aesop does have reverent respect for life, which also adds to him not being so blindly bloodthirsty as implied in the letter. i dont really see the twitter replies as very canon, but it does make sense that he would come to revere life with his unique take and obsession over death, for one cannot exist without the other)
so this leads me to the motive that aesop brings to the manor, at least how i see it. he isnt exactly coming to the manor to kill per se (like from the very early story, he came to the manor to return the letter to a relative of the deceased lady, something about respecting her last wishes. something like that, its really been a while since i saw that exerpt), so like killing ppl isnt his main purpose of visit. its more of hes always on the lookout for weaker (or at least those that take less mind games to kill) people to mercy kill, n it just so happens that he knows the manor n his mentor almost died from there, so theres a pretty good chance he can find some ppl that fall into this category n so it just so happens that he also has a job to do there. its still counted as a Job for him since no ones gonna tell him that embalmers dont actually. murder. 
so in my version, aesop only tries to sway ppl that he knows he can convince, n these ppl would typically be those very sickly ones like his mom (andrew im looking at u) or those with an actual death wish/ very weak will to live. but here aesop is choosing his “first victim”, and the criteria for that is... quiet? never mind “not evading him” and “not cranky” being on the list too, but that isnt quite what i was expecting from someone so dedicated to their duty of murder. sure he wants an easy first kill, but like. i dont think its consistent if his motive was really to continue jerrys bastard legacy. especially when the next paragraph is essentially him gushing over victor, that... sort of implies something else. or at least in the way i see it, since i believe that canon wants us to think that aesop just really loves to kill.
aesop likes victor. very much so. so much till he wants to kill him. which i guess makes sense cos he likes death, n now he likes victor. so he just. puts the two things he likes together. whats better than victor? dead victor. anyway the rest of the letter is more like “whatever, i technically should kill the others too but my priority is victor” so like. he confuses his (dare i say) yandere tendencies with his duty since the end goal for both is a body in a coffin.
having said that. i know i have aesvic brainrot but i also know this is one sided as hell (at least from the letter alone, not counting the letter shaped cookies in his birthday art that apparently belonged to victors birthday cake aha) n lowkey alarming since. the goal is to kill victor. i kinda want to interpret it as him genuinely wanting to be friends with victor (really wanting him to be a “silent friend”, maybe cos he doesnt actually know how to be friends with living ppl n is better with dead ones? therefore victor should be dead to be friends?) but not knowing how to n throwing in his obsession with death ends up with. this minor disaster waiting to happen. but i uh. dont know if this is valid. its valid to me at least, with my original interpretation of aesop. n again cos of his ingrained professionalism, he also kinda sees this as part of his job to send ppl off, so its another plus. not for victor, tho.
idk if ill add this yandere side in my aesop. i mean my boi has technically tried to kill victor multiple times in the past HAHAHAHA. maybe like sometimes he can be a bit obsessive. as a treat. but generally nah cos thats definitely gonna end up in a murder somewhere somehow n i cant. just kill victors here on the ask blog scene lashjflkjhdlfkjhas
so yeah that kinda takes care of the last part of the letter, as for the first part. as much as aesop hates jerry, i would also think hes pretty starved for affirmation (like i said jerry isnt going to be a good parent figure ever) n i guess it makes sense if the only times jerry has ever complimented him was aiding him in his kills n hiding the evidence, which might (?) add to his desire to kill (but that probably dies with jerry aha). so the way i see it as aesop is getting affirmation n takes it as a good sign instead of. remotely liking jerry. idk if im stretching it a little but i really dont like the take where hes okay with jerry. anyway we are ignoring that he hasnt killed before entering the manor cos that doesnt quite make sense to me (i wasnt dreaming about the letter from a lady stabbed in the face 36 times or so right???? right???????)
im also not like. trying to defend him, im just trying to make sense of his diary. boi has issues n is a little too far gone (not as far as canon tho), in my take very deluded in his way of showing kindness. literally cool motive still murder (or in canon, just murder?), please get therapy. but i just dont really like the direction that the letter was originally trying to imply, with him really just hell bent on murder without like. a clear motive (at least to me it isnt very clear since the last part really doesnt sound consistent with his supposed intentions). i mean i love being edgy with aesop every now n then but i dont think it would make for meaningful characterizations in the long run so. ill still be sticking with my original take on aesop with maybe a bit of yandere for victor cos thats always fun
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to the anon that sent me an essay, this is for you
to everyone else, idk what this is
from anon:
here are a few things ive thought of to an obsessive level but these are completely non-bts related so u can choose to skip it. hell, you knew u that already.
1. before becoming parents or after emerging into adulthood everyone should be sent to therapy. sometimes i question if it is to fill the gaps their childhood has blown wide open that adults have children. or is it to fulfill some moral responsibility they have to simply reproduce. if its the first, to think about it, is kind of fucked up. you are depriving your child a stable future, creating replicas of exactly what you suffered, if u are not stable yourself.
You know, probably. People have kids for a number of reasons, not all if them good. I am a product of such a cycle, generations that used physical and emotional punishment on their own children to lash out their frustrations in life. The easiest one to bully is the offspring you made, because they don't know any better. They think that's how life is, because that's how life always was. I suffer for it, all the time. But, you know, therapy does nothing if you don't want it. You have to be willing to listen to be helped.
Most people are not willing to listen or change. That's the big problem.
2. its sad how the whole ' one in a million ' concept is staring at me. haruki murakami said mediocrity is constant. that thought haunts me everyday becuase of how many people are just a sea of faceless creatures as the world decides which one is the outlier. its the scariest thing i have ever felt, but it is inevitable. mediocrity should be normalized. there is an exorbitant amount of pressure in youth to produce and create and every other teenager is doing mun and every other adult is in the medical field, but at the cost of what? sure, you just saved the world, but did you save yourself?
Everyone is in outlier which makes nobody special. Society has slowly but surely created the idea that people need to be better than others, the idea that "better" must exist. To want more. And why is that?
Money.
Why is everyone pressured to make a product? To monetize their hobbies? To "do work you love"? Why is this the ideal? Because someone wants to profit from you. Someone is always greeding for more, more, so they make you feel this need as well, feeding off your futile attempts to be the "prefect you" but the perfect you doesn't exist. Why is it that every outlier put on a pedestal feels disillusioned / pressured or greedy / selfish? Because you've been tricked, feeling sad and deflated that you can't achieve something that isn't real.
3. middle class. im part of it. we're probably the most entitled section of society there is. it is so amusing to me how we have basically everything we need to survive but always want more. its weird how the poorer sections dont have time to think about their lives at the stake of capitalist countries, while we're here thinking about everything in our day that has harmed us, complaining about shit that isnt even required to survive. my mind is bursting because im literally fucking typing / this / because i have the privilege to and im STILL . doing . it .
Entitled? Everyone feels entitled. Not just middle class. You think rich people don't want more? Pfft. Everyone wants more, simply because that's what were trained to think. Everything around us is always asking you to want more, tying your worth to what you have instead of what you are. Your worth equating to material possessions has been taught to you all your life from the media, all for the sake of profit. The worst is when they turn your own morals and ethics on you to monetize that as well.
4. i hope i dont forget everything that has ever happened to me. not because i'd want to hold it over peoples head. but because i really dont want to grow ignorant. i dont want to have hollow opinions and i dont want to live a life where its easy to be just as. i dont want to be in a herd of sheep.
You will forget. Neurons die all the time. It's a known fact memories get disorganized, remade, and blended with fantasy. You are organic, an imperfect machine. Even your memories are imperfect, only focusing on specific things and not the whole picture because human brains focus on what's important and not what is. This is a survival tactic and it's what causes you to polarize one way or another. Even you, telling me this right now, you are declaring "I want things to only be this way".
But, you know.
"Polarization is the ugliest flower in the world."
Your past and memory is not the only thing that shapes opinions. Agreeing with others is not being a sheep. Are you a sheep because you agree killing an innocent as a police officer is not okay? Sometimes ignorance is okay. You don't have to know everything. Sometimes it's better not to.
5. im really jealous of bts sometimes. its fucking insane. theyre so successful but they have and continue to endure so much shit from the world. passion. passion is the word i want to chop up and throw into a blender and smother in a fire. they have it. and i dont. they are so hardworking. its something ill never be.
They don't have to do anything. They can quit at any time. They choose not to for many reasons. You choose how much you can take and how much is too much. You chose who you are. There are many hardworking, passionate people you don't know, because they don't want to be known. Passion, hard work, these things exist in many forms, and not all of it is so exposed like it is with BTS.
And let's face it, not all of those things can be good. They said so themselves.
6. i think we should really stop saying 'well if u were in their place what would u have done'. we cant do what we havent been given the chance to experience. we cant think about what we wouldve done because we have lived our lives NOT doing it. i am living my life only one which way and there is no other way i can know yet.
We say this to help others realize that prespective is importamt. It is not about actually living it, but having the empathy to understand and see from another person's eyes. No one is asking you to be Dr. Strange and live all 5 million possibilities. You can think someone's actions / words are wrong but, in that moment, they didn't think that, either because they grew up a certain way or because certain things happened to them. You don't have to live the experience to have some level of understanding, even if imperfect.
im sorry for this brain dump , i dont really have anyone else im willing to talk to and i completly understand if u skip this. hope ur fine tho and taking care. love ur works !
I'm an INTJ. My brain never turns off. It's a curse. But thank you for enjoying my writing! Hope you liked this too LOL
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ankhisms · 3 years
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the always wonderful shelley @shanheling tagged me to do this thank u so much!! i think that everyone i wanted to tag has already been tagged to do this but if you feel like doing this feel free to consider urself tagged by me!! im putting this under a readmore bc its long and i ramble a lot
the piece i was tagged to explain my process on is this oc piece! unfortunately i have a habit of deleting my original clip studio file once ive finished my art and saved it as a new png file, so i dont have the file to show the sketch and different stages of this piece. but I still can go through my general process and talk about how i did that piece!
1. planning
honestly i think about the art that i want to do a lot, and in this last year or so ive thought about the art i want to do more than ive been able to actually create and finish that art that i want to do. for my planning i tend to do a lot of different thumbnail sketches for the art im thinking of
these are some examples of thumbnails, a lot of times ill do thumbnails just on pencil and paper and with some of these theyre done quickly with my fingers on my phone note function on a day where i was feeling too bad to get up and draw on paper but still wanted to get the thumbnail ideas down. two of these are for the same songxiao piece that i still havent finished and i have more thumbnails digitally on clip studio for the same piece, i do a lot more thumbnails when a piece isnt working the way i want it to and theres times where ill completely scratch a thumbnail or a sketch and start over in order to do more thumbnails because i dont feel happy with some aspect of it.
two of these are small gouche painting thumbnails for two pieces i did maybe a month or so ago, i did the thumbnails and then tried to expand on them digitally and im wanting to do more thumbnail paintings like this in the future because it was fun
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for the piece of my oc trio it was based off a series of ask prompts i got for a few different outfit prompt memes i had reblogged, so i based their outfits on the ones in the meme. when im drawing figures i tend to try and get the movement down in the poses when im sketching, i do several rough sketches of the pose before beginning to start setting down lines (if im doing lineart at all because sometimes i dont like doing lineart and do a more lineless painting kind of style). i really try to get my art to convey some kind of emotion, in the oc piece i wanted it to feel fun and like youre seeing three best friends while theyre out on the town having a fun night
2. creating
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this is the only real example i have of a piece in the middle of being filled in and created, this piece is one that im really not very happy with & have had lying around for a while and ill probably scrap it and try to come at it from a different perspective at some point. but anyway it still shows what i do, i lay down a kind of neutral gray color underneath my final sketch/lineart if im doing lineart in that piece and then i start picking out the colors that i want for the piece and kind of setting out a pallette for myself. i dont do this color pallette thing 100% of the time but i do it really often, especially if im working on a commission or a larger piece where i know theres going to be a lot of colors or if its a piece where im not sure exactly what color scheme i want so laying out the colors together helps me kind of decide what kind of scheme i want. i am sooooo picky about my colors in my art i am genuinely obsessed with colors in art and there are times where i really have to stop myself from working on something forever just constantly adding more colors or putting little tiny changes and gradients in the colors.
after ive got the colors i want down i tend to try and block out parts of the piece with the base color for that section, and then i start to paint with the colors that i want to go on top of that base color from there.
once im satisfied with the colors/shading/rendering and everything ill go back and look over things and will fix things that look off or sometimes completely redo segments if they dont look right to me. when i was younger and mainly doing digital art using my phone and my fingers i would use a lot of filters and overlays on top of my art once i was done, and honestly im glad to not be doing that anymore because i dont think it made my art look any better. i do color adjustments and sometimes will put on a color overlay or a layer to emphasize the shadows and the light in the piece, but i try to keep those layers to a minimum and like i said before i have a tendency to obsess over the colors and ill spend a good amount of time in the color adjustment tool of clip studio and then ill just decide "actually it looks fine as it is" so yeah!
3. posting
i feel like i dont have a lot to say here gbfm i mean i honestly have a lot of thoughts about the relationship between artists and social media and how social media changes our views on art including our own art and how we can feel like we constantly need to be posting new art and just become content machines churning out new stuff. but ill save that rant for another time. i used to be really concerned about how many notes my art would get when i was younger, and i dont at all blame anyone who still is very concerned about that bc it sucks when u work hard on something youve created and then you dont get a lot of recognition for it, but honestly within the last two years or so i feel like ive begun to have a lot healthier relationship with posting my art. i really just post my art on my art blog, reblog it to my main blog, and then thats that yknow! i do really appreciate any and all support people give me, it means the world to me, but for me having the mentality where i dont need to post all the art i make and i dont need to be posting every day or every week or every month even has been a lot healthier for me because then im not constantly asking myself why didnt this get notes is my art awful??? and yeah i just kind of post it and my brain goes okay were done with that art we gotta make more
ive honestly been struggling a lot with art thru the pandemic and if youre reading this and have been struggling with creating in any way recently or even before the pandemic, please know theres no shame in having trouble creating and it doesnt make you bad at whatever it is u create!
thank you for reading this, feel free to consider urself tagged by me again if u want to do this!! love u all
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chikkou · 3 years
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Will you talk more about Lisa?? Lisa the character specifically but also your feelings on his feelings about Buddy? I just thought your analysis was so good and I want to hear other thoughts you have on her.
yall are honestly spoiling me rn sdhkfdjfks this is like a dream come true 
i already got into the stuff with buddy in this ask here but i have a LOT to say about lisa and the connection between her and buddy so u better settle in!
ok so firstly ill start with lisa. i played the original lisa game (lisa the first) not long after it first dropped in 2012, and im not even kidding when i said it changed me LMAO.... seeing a story about a girl suffering is nothing new, but austin jorgensens approach to it was so fucking unique. you dont just witness it, you get to EXPERIENCE it right along with her. many stories that involve sexual abuse/rape show or otherwise depict it explicitly for the shock value, which is both disgusting and, in my opinion, extremely fucking exploitative. i feel that it is horrific to dignify an act so deeply evil with screentime. but lisa stood out to me immediately because, even though you know exactly whats going on, the game NEVER shows anything explicit. everything is layered in subtext and symbolism, and austin is fantastic with indirect storytelling, so you learn so much from just a little drop of information. this applies not just to the game proper, but to the character as well.
in case its not clear: i absolutely ADORE lisa. she is my favorite character in all of the games, bar none. its going to sound kind of fucked up, but as a kid around her age going through some fucked up shit, her committing suicide at the end felt like a sort of victory to me. she knew she could never escape from marty or what he was doing to her. he leaks into every single part of her psyche, everything she ever cared about or loved is ruined because of him, and even the vague memory of her mother is completely corrupted, and turned into a muddled version of him. lisa the first also had the added benefit of some religious commentary, as there are crosses all over their home and marty is characterized as an extremely religious man, which i fucking LOVE and wish had come back in the painful, but its an acceptable loss. anyway, lisa committing suicide at the end was an act of defiance against not just marty, but martys god, as suicide is considered a mortal sin in catholicism. lisa knew she’d never be free of marty in life, so she escaped the only way she could; she was defiant to the end.
ive seen people complain that the painful has a bit of a “lost lenore” thing going on, since lisas death seems to fuel the Manpain of both brad and buzzo, but i actually disagree. on the contrary, its just like austin himself said - lisa will never be gone. lisa is ALWAYS there, with brad, and buzzo, and buddy, and marty, and yado, and the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD. i dont necessarily think that there is something paranormal going on in the game, but i AM going to say that, unlike other cases of a girl/woman dying for a mans backstory, lisa isnt just a bittersweet memory they can reflect on and then put away when its convenient for them. she is a presence that is felt throughout the entire game. brad sees her more than once, sometimes watching, sometimes reprimanding him. buzzo is clearly haunted by her, as he cries out to her a few times in the joyful. every character who was directly touched by lisa - brad, marty, and buzzo - calls out to lisa as they die. call it their guilt or call it her actions, but in either case, it is clear that lisa just as significant of a character in the painful as she was in the first, even if she cant always be seen. even in a meta-sense, every game in the series - even the joyful, whose protagonist doesnt even know who she is - is named after her. she is at the center of everything that happens in them. 
that actually brings me to buddy, because i find the dynamic between her and lisa fucking fascinating. as i previously mentioned, brad never talked about his past with buddy, and snaps at her for bringing up his adoptive son dusty (rando), so it goes without saying that she definitely doesnt know who lisa is. in spite of that, though, lisa is a fucking massive part of buddys life, and while she may not know the person herself, i think she is aware that when people (and brad especially) look at her, they arent seeing HER. 
i mentioned it in another post, but even though brad takes it upon himself to raise and “protect” buddy, he seems to almost unwittingly recreate lisas appearance, primarily by allowing her hair to grow long even though he knows what a risk that is to her safety. he also treats buddy in a manner thats incredibly similar to how marty treated lisa (sans sexual abuse, of course) - he insults her, does not let her leave the house at all, and forces her to do unsavory things that no one should ever have to do (in buddys case, this means killing at least two innocent people because brad doesnt want a “weak” daughter). the most literal comparison between buddy and lisa is the fact that they are both very young girls being essentially held captive by their father figures, albeit for different reasons, and both long for freedom from their captors. 
theres also the fact that both buddy and lisa have to deal with misogyny and the effects of rape culture firsthand; they both battle against men who feel entitled to do with them whatever they please, and the threat of ongoing sexual abuse looms heavy over both of their heads. neither one can seek help from anyone; the neighbors in brad and lisas town seem complacent at best, if they even know what is happening to lisa at all, and buddys only allies (sans rando) are long dead by the start of the joyful. this is not just a hypothetical or a distant possibility. this is the real, tangible fate that will befall them if they cant somehow secure their safety.
sadly, because lisa wasnt playable in either of the rpgs, we dont know if she was able to fight as brad was, but it is highly probable that she had the innate skill but was never able to learn it (as marty highly discouraged them from learning “their grandfathers karate,” and seemed disgusted whenever brad did so). however, she did have ONE weapon she could make use of, and this is a weapon buddy ends up using, as well - her femininity. she became close to bernard (aka buzzo), made him fall in love with her, and then used him as a last ditch effort to stop martys abuse by having him mutilate her face. im not saying lisa never cared about bernard - in fact, i think she DID really love and care for him - but her own fucked up experiences with “love” meant she really couldnt understand what it was supposed to be like, or that it was wrong to manipulate the people you care about. lisa did very few things wrong - it pretty much just stops at the maiming of the cat and her manipulation of bernard - but she knew that she would never get away from marty without some kind of drastic action being taken, and scarring herself was her last ditch effort before ultimately committing suicide.
buddy ends up taking a somewhat similar tack in the joyful, and like in lisas case, its simultaneously resourceful and horrific. one of buddys key moves in the joyful is to flash the enemy (which the player obviously doesnt see) in order to distract them long enough to get the kill. its fucking horrible and disgusting and makes you feel so dirty, but then, how must buddy feel having to do something like that just to survive? shes just a child, but in a world where almost every man is out to get you, she knows this has to be done to save herself, very much like lisa. unlike in lisas case, though, buddy is successful in securing her safety in this way - lisas effort is for naught, and leads to her committing suicide not very long after. 
in a way, i sort of attribute buddys brutality to lisas omnipresence; all of the men pursuing buddy are just like marty, monsters who would harm a fucking child for their own disgusting ends, and i think that when buzzo said that lisa wouldve loved olathe, what he means is that she would have loved seeing so many horrible men being punished for what theyd done. so in my opinion, buddy carving out a place for herself in olathe by killing all those who would subjugate her seems very much in the mentality lisa would have had. sure, there are some innocents who sadly get roped into it, but that would definitely not be her intention; for example, if buzzo could have practiced amputation without harming a living thing, i dont think lisa would have asked him to practice on the cat. note the LACK of brutality at the beehive and the swamp bar, two of the few peaceful places in the painful and both devoid of predatory men hunting for buddy - lisa has no qualm with any of them. but marty? brad could hardly even get a full sentence out before killing him on the spot. i dont doubt that that has a great deal to do with lisas presence. 
ok i talked for a while LMAO but basically i think that, in a more metatextual sense, lisa and buddys relationship really strikes me as an accurate depiction of generational trauma. of course it was intentional with the more obvious trauma chain (marty to brad to buddy), but the trauma chain of marty to lisa to buddy is rarely ever addressed due to lisa not physically appearing in the painful. however, i believe it may inform buddys actions a great deal more than people realize - after all, buddys experience is unique, but who could understand it better than lisa? who knows that sort of pain, of being alone on an island, the lone woman trapped with a man (or men) who want nothing more than to cause you harm? even without her realizing it, lisa is guiding buddy, encouraging her to take back what is hers no matter the cost, to punish those who would try to take what they want from her. lisa might be dead, but she is a vengeful presence throughout every game, and buddys actions feel like theyre meant not only to save herself, but to avenge lisa, even if she doesnt realize it. at the end of the day, buddy and lisa both get to exact revenge against all the men who have wronged them, and they succeed. they are aggressive, and violent, and selfish, and ANGRY - and they have every fucking right to be. 
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writing-gifts · 4 years
Text
we ain’t in kansas anymore ch.02 (bruno x gn!reader)
chapter 01
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A/N: okay im trying to do gn!reader but a lot of italian is gendered so when i'm trying to use cute little names or have someone refer to reader it causes issues. So I could use * or @ for the ‘a’ or ’o’ at the end of these terms for writing but that doesn’t work for dialogue, so i'm just gonna use ‘u’ for ex: instead of cara or caro ill say caru
anyways bruno isnt in this chapter but you get to do ur laundry heh 
Italian dialogue is “italicized like this”
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The whirring sound of the payphone buzzes in your ear as you wait for someone to pick up. You close your eyes as the seemingly perpetual sound fills your head, hoping for the result you want.
Please please please...
A click.
"Hello?"
"H-Hello, is this ___ ___? Or do you know someone by that name?"
"Sorry, I think you have the wrong number."
"Oh, okay. Thanks," you reply, furrowing your brows and biting your lip. You hang the phone back on the receiver.
What now?
Someone knocks on the door behind you.
You lift your head from the glass you had rested it on and see a man looking at you impatiently from outside the phone booth.
You open the door to get out. "Sorry about that. I accidentally zoned out..."
What?
“Uh nevermind." Grimacing, you quickly walk away towards Fugo who’s waiting for you.
The moment you're close enough you realize that Fugo is giving you a disapproving look. “Please don’t talk to random people.”.
You can't help frowning at his tone. It wasn’t that harsh but you're tired. “I know, it's just habit but I'll try to stop...
He sighs. "No, I shouldn't have said it like that. Just try to avoid it okay."  
Even though you were a bit caught off guard by how quickly he backtracked, you nod and follow him as he walks ahead of you.
"I'm taking you to a hotel nearby that you'll be staying at until further notice."
At least that was one less thing to worry about.
After some silence Fugo speaks up again.
“...Did you find out what you wanted?”
“I found out something but it wasn't what I hoped. That guy’s powers--”
“Stand ability,” Fugo corrects.
“Yea that...I’m 100% sure he could pull people from different realities or universes or something along those lines.”
"So you getting home has become much more unlikely."
You rub at your temples. "There has to be a way though…"
Fugo doesn’t look convinced but doesn’t say anything more.
After hailing a taxi, you and Fugo finally reach the hotel. It was a small business that looked like it had been there for many years.
“Who’s paying for this?” you ask.
“Buccellati has already taken care of it.”
You felt a bit strange about that, but it was nice that he was doing all of this instead of leaving you confused in the streets.
For being in the mafia these guys aren’t too scary, especially Narancia. At the same time, you haven’t even known them for a full day however you choose to ignore the small knot anxiety within you.
Maybe Buccellati just felt he was responsible for you...
As soon as you and Fugo enter, you are immediately greeted by a pretty, older woman standing behind a counter.
Fugo and the lady converse in Italian while you look over to the side waiting. You hoped you showing up suddenly like this wasn’t too much trouble.
“___--” your attention snaps back to them, “this is Signora Rizzo”
“Stella Rizzo”, she interjects. “You can just call me Stella caru mio.”
Fugo deadpans but continues, “She’ll show you to your room. If you need anything just come to her.”
You nod. “Um, are you coming back again or…?”
“Most likely, but I don’t know when.”
Fugo moves to leave and you tell him bye which he awkwardly returns.
Stella gives you a warm smile and you feel yourself relax and return your own smile, although not as full.
“Let me take you to your room, you must be tired.”
Mrs. Stella leads you up the stairs to the 2nd floor of the hotel. The hallway’s a bit narrow and there's only 4 doors from what you can see. You wondered if there was anyone else staying here right now.
She stops in front of the door 2nd closest to the stairway. “Okay here's the room you'll be staying in--it’s the best one.” She winks at you before pulling out a key from her skirt pocket and unlocking the door for you.
“Here’s the key.” Her polished nails touch your palm as she places the key in your hand. “I think you're going to be holding on to it for a while so make sure to keep it safe kay?”
"Okay." You look at the key in your hand and slip it into your pocket for now. You needed to find a keyring or bag for yourself later.
“I'll be right back caru. You can get yourself comfortable.”
She leaves you in the room alone. It was simply furnished, with a bed, a desk, a dresser, and a small old tv. There's a door to the side which you go to open and see is a small restroom.
You walk in and look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes immediately go to your neck. It’s stained with dried blood, but there wasn’t any type of cut. Other than it feeling pretty strange, there was nothing.
Was this another stand thing?
You sigh to yourself. Your shirt was also stained, but the workers at the restaurant hadn’t even shown a hint of anything being out of the norm. You honestly wish you could do the same.
You wanted to shower first but had no new clothes. Maybe you could hand wash and let them dry overnight?
You're about to turn on the faucet to the sink when you hear a knock on the hotel room door. Expecting it to be Mrs. Stella, you leave the bathroom to let her in. She holds out some folded cloth and a basket filled with various items to you .
“I brought you some clothes caru. I thought you would want something to change into for bed--I'm sorry that they aren't very appealing looking-- and I also brought you a toothbrush, soap, towel, and some other stuff I can’t remember grabbing too.”
The appearance wasn’t an issue, you were just glad you wouldn’t have to sleep naked tonight. You laugh a little,“Thanks. By the way, do you have a place where I can wash my clothes?”
“You have to hand wash them. I can get you a tub and detergent.”
“Oh guess you had the right idea. It wasn't a lot so you could just use the sink like you originally planned.”
“Detergent is enough, thanks! Actually I'll come with you.”
“Sure and if you need anything else don't be afraid to come down to the front desk and ask. My children sometimes take up the front but they should still be able to help you.”
Were her kids anything like her?
After you're given the detergent, you head back to your room.
You empty your pockets and change out of your clothes to take a quick shower. After you're done and dried off, you put on the spare clothes you were given--a plain t-shirt and some comfortable athletic shorts.
You loosen the drawstring until you're comfortable, then grab your dirty clothes that you tossed on the bathroom floor. When the sink’s filled halfway, you pour detergent into the (too hot) water. Even after all the scrubbing, the stains were still slightly visible but not enough to notice unless someone was close.
You wring out the excess water and let the sink drain so you can rinse out your clothes. You then take them out to the small balcony attached to your room and hang your clothes on the railing.
The streetlights light up parts of the empty street and sidewalks, while the alleyways seem to only embrace the darkness making it impossible to see or tell the things that could be possibly happening within.
You frown, suddenly feeling even more exhausted and go back inside. The moment you get comfortable in bed, you’re asleep within a minute.
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You stir from your sleep feeling as if someone has turned on the lights. Your eyes open just slightly enough and you immediately pull the covers over your head when you realise that the light from the window is shining directly on your face.
Did you have work today? You reach out to grab your phone where you usually left it on your night stand but your hands grab at air. You grumble. What time was it?
A minute passes before you poke your head out from under your covers and stare at the glass door of the balcony across the room. You stare wondering when you got a balcony. Your eyes widen and you sit up and look at your surroundings.
So that wasn’t a dream.
You frown remembering your situation, and rub the sleep from your eyes.
You honestly just want to go back to bed but you’re too awake now, so you force yourself to move towards the restroom and go through your usual morning routine. When you finish brushing your teeth, you walk on to the balcony, watching the people going about their day as you gather your clothes.
You snap out of it when you realize that a random person has noticed you staring and go back in to change with sluggish movements. You try to get your appearance in order the best you can with the items that were given to you yesterday..
While you’re in the middle of cleaning your face, Mrs. Stella shows up at your door, giving you a quite chiper good morning and asks if you want to join her for breakfast. Even though the thought was kind, you felt a little nervous going out of your room for too long, so you ask if you can eat in there instead.
“I hope I’m not taking up too much of your time.”
“It’s fine caru mio. I’m serious when I say don’t be afraid to ask for anything.”
Mrs. Stella comes back with eggs, bread with jam, fruit and a caffè latte--you mimic her words--to drink.
Seeing all that food made you realize how hungry you were. You thank her before you take it into your room to eat.
It was delicious and you honestly wanted seconds but you weren’t comfortable asking.
After you’re done, you realize that you need to take the plate downstairs but you don’t want to bring it back down dirty. Cleaning it in the restroom sink wasn’t probably the best idea either.
Other than that you don't really know what to do now. Were you going to spend the whole day here?
You rub at your neck without thinking. Something was definitely wrong with it--you could barely turn your head without discomfort.
A knock sounds on the door and you get up to open it expecting to see Mrs. Stella again.
"Fugo?"
The teen stands in front of you, wearing the same green, holey suit from yesterday. (Did he have multiple of the same outfit?)
“I came to pick you up.”
“That was quick. Uh where are we going?”
“You’ll know when we get there. We’re kinda on a tight schedule; we only have a small time window for this.”
It must not be safe to say here but you can't help thinking it was bothersome not knowing what was happening.
You run inside quickly to grab your phone and key. You see the plate on your dresser and also grab it.
”What's that in your hand,” Fugo asks as you walk down the stairs.
“...My dirty plate?”
He looks at you as if you said something stupid. “No I mean in your other hand.”
“Oh,” okay that was a little dumb, “That’s my phone.”
“So that’s what phones will evolve to...”
You hum showing him your phone more clearly, “Touch screens are pretty much the norm in like 2 decades. I can’t imagine going back to anything before it at this point!” There could be a prototype or something existing right now for all you know.
You wave goodbye to Mrs. Stella after giving her your dish which you can’t help apologizing for. She waves it off of course, but next time maybe you’d eat with her so you could wash your own dish.
You’re then led outside of the building to a car parked at the other side of the street.
You see Narancia’s head poking out of the window on the passenger side.
He perks up when he sees you. "Good morning ____!"
“Good morning”, you say back you can't help grinning. His smile was kind of contagious.
You get into the back of the car and lean towards Narancia’s seat to catch his attention. “Hey, you know where we’re going? Oh wait--nevermind.” You shake your hand next to your head as if you’re fanning your words away.
Leaning back, you pull the seat belt across your body. You wish you knew more than a few basic Italian phrases.
Narancia looks a little confused but understands that he doesn’t need to worry about it.
You play with your phone and Narancia listens to the radio as Fugo drives you all to wherever you are going.
As you slide the screen back and forth looking at the no signal symbol--your phone only had 50% charge left--you land on the page with your translation app.
...Would it still work?
You open it, pick the Italian option and type something into it.
When you press the speaker symbol, you and Narancia slightly jump when the sound of a robotic voice sounds in the car. Woops, you didn’t realize the volume was that loud.
“Uh, what was that?” Narancia asks.
“Ayy, really works!” the app said.
“What are you doing?” Fugo asks, furrowing his brows from the weird sentence but trying to keep most of his focus on the road.
“I have a translator app on my phone. It might come in handy? Probably only for simple statements though.” Typing ‘ayy’ probably wasn’t helping though.
You wonder when stuff like this actually came out. You didn’t have strong knowledge on when certain technology showed up (or became obsolete). These things just came and went into your life without you giving it much thought.
Narancia forces Fugo to explain and then he turns towards you, he eyes your phone with a very curious look on his face.
“I don't completely get it but sounds cool!”
You couldn't see Fugo’s face but he was curious as well.
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cleorasahar · 4 years
Text
(KELLY GALE, GENDERFLUID/NONBINARY) - Have you seen CLEORA SAHAR? CLEO is in her/their SENIOR YEAR year. The ART HISTORY MAJOR is  21 years old & is a SCORPIO. People say she/they is/are TACTFUL, OBSERVANT, CUNNING, AND TEMPERAMENTAL. Rumors say they’re a member of KINCAID. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE IS THE REASON AN EX-FRIEND OVERDOSED. (ari. 22. est. they/them)
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TW MENTAL ILLNESS, DRUG ABUSE, OVERDOSE, DEATH
cleora “cleo” sahar is textbook slytherin. born to a russian woman too smart for her own good, named with something archaic via her mother’s fascination with everything grecian, cleo was basically born to be the personification of a nightshade
her father is an indian/iranian immigrant who had enough charm to convince her mother to go on a date with him after three tries. her mother, nikita, always loved to tell this story.
cleo resembles her mother in many ways. from a cutting stare to her obsession with control, cleo had always wanted to be like her mother – erudite to the point of possessing the ability for world domination
was a bit of an elitist growing up because of the above — she was able to go to a good all girls private school on scholarship which led her to yates
fascinated w mythology, art history, film, etc
extremely sarcastic and cold most of the time. her familial pressures were enough to make her household tense, and the largeness of new york never allowed her to keep many intimate relationships or friendships growing up
has a god complex that she doesnt like to admit
uses her beauty to her advantage in most situations n has a reputation of a heartbreaker ever since she realized that all the boys from the public school downtown would ogle her on weekends
she isnt as reckless as the usual femme fatale — there’s this refined edge to her. like a glowing flame that never truly goes out
a scorpio….. ???? i literally cnt decide this is subject to change bt her personality? stereotypical scorpio perhaps
*TRAUMA TIME*
cleo had a really strange love/hate codependent friendship with a boy named luka. they had been friends ever since they were children, though they grew dark into their teenage years and would enable each other constantly. cleo loved luka to death in ways she could not explain, and luka took advantage of this constantly. by the age of 17, cleo had already used her street smarts and cunningness to keep luka out of jail, the hospital, what have you. during a depressive episode, cleo had decided to buy coke from some acquaintance whose brother went to nyu. she needed something to feel alive again, though this was already being done with a conflict with luka. the day was soured slightly up until a house party in which they both agreed to go to together. it didn’t take long for luka to get too drunk and drugged up to get into a fight with cleo, scheming for anything more, to which cleo is absolutely done, throwing the small bag of coke and an empty can of pbr into his head and leaving the party. SURPRISE! luka overdoses on fentanyl. cleo is traumatized and guilty and this is precisely why she has trouble finding people to be close with after his death. this is a very insensitive way to end a paragraph about her Secret, i know. but i made this up on the spot.
she was classically trained but ended up sticking to guitar/bass, is very talented and her tendency to be drawn to harder rock music/punk from her uncle landed her in a band in her freshman yr (think fiona apple/hope sandoval/mysterious frontwoman of every 90s rock band)
honestly an enigma like even her close friends are usually like [waka flocka okay gif] when talking abt her bc she’s a wildcard in the sense that no one is truly close to her
exclusively wears red and black
winter is her favorite season
prone to depressive episodes extremely easily… despite her love of winter
voted Most Likely To Slit A Man’s Throat in high school (an unspoken award)
bisexual bc who comes out of a girls private school straight
moral compass? questionable. she’s not one to be the most reckless simply because she doesn’t care enough for the thrill the way her peers do, but she’s been known to be a kleptomaniac in her younger years for the sake that she was damn good at it
her intelligence makes the world limitless and her passion for art and music only confuse her intentions for her future… it’s like her ambition is on overdrive towards something intangible n cleo has a constant fear of grasping at straws bc of pressure from her mom
constant need for power n control due to her upbringing n probably some undiagnosed ocd… she has irrational problems that are more obscure in terms of what she needs to have control over bt she tells literally no one abt these
literally has an elaborate pocket knife in her bag at all times
WANTED CONNECTIONS
exes; people who have felt the brunt of cleo’s coldness and/or wrath. most likely on bad terms or she truly jst… does not have the mind to care abt them
the odd ex that she actually does care abt?? their relationship is… strange but if opportunity came she wld not say no to hooking up
fwb/hookups; u kno the drill… we love power play n unrequitedness n the confusion of who likes who more bring the angst 2 me!!!
unrequited crush?? cld go both ways… maybe someone who sees cleo so often that she’s jst curious enough to keep them around / someone who’s pining for her but she enjoys the game / someone she likes v easily (uncommon) n she truly.. doesn’t kno how to cope
NEMESIS
childhood acquaintance that cld be fwb or hookup or weird friend…or  something.. idk.. cnt decide if her cleo’s mother is a prof or someone in academia yet bc if so then this person cld be  a child of one of her colleagues?
all friends any type welcome pls she’s so stone cold that she needs 2 loosen up… ive written a gd VILLAIN in my head
PINTEREST
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blookmallow · 4 years
Text
uhHH well i finished rusty lake roots... there are still many things i do not understand but wow that sure was. a lot 
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oh. ohhhh i was right 
albert did get into voodoo
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i mean really if you have enough blood to write a sentence with it i think thats more of a “there is blood” scenario but i guess that’s just semantics really 
anyway uhhHHh that happened,
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oH god what the fuck ok apparently mary’s dead now too
i dont know what killed her other than like, old age, maybe. shock?? could’ve been a heart attack if she. saw what albert did to his brother and ida 
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:( 
the kid with the glasses Was emma’s son and she Did commit suicide in her grief when he went missing 
still dont know where he came from in the first place but nevermind 
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what the hell kind of egg is that (the second thing. the first thing is a potato) 
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oh
it’s. it’s that kind of egg, isn’t it. 
is that what that looks like???? i was under the impression human “eggs” are like, microscopic, like you can’t visually see individual sperm cells and i couldn’t really find a clear answer trying to look this up and got kinda freaked out about it anyway (pregnancy/uterus functions fuck me up sdfgggh) but 
APPARENTLY, AFTER MURDERING HER (AND HIS BROTHER) ALBERT HAS DECIDED TO HARVEST IDA’S EGGS FROM HER BODY AND CREATE HIS OWN FETUS SOMEHOW HIMSELF 
I DONT THINK THATS HOW THAT WORKS BUT UH. ALBERT???? WE NEED TO TALK 
god fucking damn it i liked him so much and wanted to understand him and i still think it’s heavily implied he was abused and/or bullied by his siblings and he’s definitely mentally unwell and definitely had some kind of rivalry going on with samuel, definite “wants what he has” situation but 
i guess “murdered his brother and his wife, apparently harvested eggs from her corpse to Make A Child With Her after she rejected him” is uuhhhh not really redeemable is it :’   ) god 
or im not sure if she actually rejected him or if he ever made any advances on her in the first place but. definite “she belonged to me/should have been Mine” possessive behavior ramped up to 11 
i still think he needed Help and maybe wouldn’t have turned out like this if he got help and had support from his family but my god what a. series of events that was  
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also this guy keeps showing up everywhere. i dont know what he is but i like him even though he may be some kind of shadow of impending doom or a personification of death 
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BIG fan of the implication here that i may in fact have been a ghost the whole time, subtly influencing the events of my own family destruction in an effort to sacrifice them all to resurrect myself 
is that what all this is. did all this happen because william was haunting everybody trying to get the pieces to revive himself. was this man willing to destroy his entire family line for the chance to live again 
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oh FUCK THE KID’S STILL ALIVE 
HE DIDN’T DIE IN THE WELL HE’S JUST BEEN LIVING DOWN THERE THIS WHOLE TIME. OK
how did nobody hear him calling for help or anything... 
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guess what
i fucking killed the hand again 
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apparently albert also knows about this??? and never told anyone??? fucking why??????? he doesn’t seem to be Using the dude for anything, there doesn’t seem to be any reason to keep him down here unless it’s just some fucked up revenge thing on his sister 
also i dont think it was albert’s hand that i stabbed Again bc he’s not bleeding when he shows up but 
is he the one who has been keeping him alive?? why. what purpose is served in keeping him alive if he’s not using him for anything. if hes just trying to get back at his sister why not just kill the guy or leave him to starve down here. Albert What The Fuck Are You Doing 
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hey buddy!!!!! its u!!!!
i was wrong it seems like mr. crow is not a voodoo curse victim but is actually probably the first vanderboom brother. the not william one. i forgot his name :’) and i still definitely think william’s going to become mr. owl
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i found this picture later (it was shown before but i didnt remember) (also has. puzzle stuff on it but anyway) its definitely the same suit thats it isnt it 
i dont want to go searching for the pic of the other brother and the one of mr owl bc ill probably just find spoilers if i do that but Hm. hmm.
is this how the revival ritual works. do u become a bird. is that why everyone else at the hotel was animals too
that would mean the brothers have already done the ritual once though and would’ve needed a bunch of sacrifices to do it before so maybe not 
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albert’s bizarre science experiment child seems to be living at the house now, which i was gonna say “how the fuck did he explain this to his family how is she just Here Now” but then i realized i think she and albert might be the only ones left now 
ida and samuel are dead, emma is dead, mary and james are dead, leonard isn’t dead but i think he might be... out fighting the war at this point 
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also that dog is still here and i didnt previously question why the cup was called “cup with liquid” and not “water” and i really, really wish i didnt know the answer to that mystery 
try to guess how this dog provided liquid. the answer is not blood 
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rose helped frank get out of the well, not sure if she knew why he was down there in the first place or that he’s her cousin, and. well 
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:( 
sorry things had to be this way, bud
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digs up my entire family’s remains to make one hell frankenstein skeleton
sure 
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o fuck i did it i got all the things
i like how some of these are like “gouge out an eyeball” and then there’s like “cut off some hair” 
some of this family suffered more than others for this ritual, shall we say
theres probably Reasons for each of the parts though like, frank’s hair grew super long from his years in the well, so while the removal of a lock of hair itself wasn’t really a Sacrifice/suffering on his end its symbolic of what he went through
william’s the one being revived so it makes sense to use his heart
eyes could be... Too Late To See The Truth about albert or something, ida was a fortune teller so, Inner Sight or w/e, also a pair of eyes taken from a couple
emma died from her grief so we have her tears
james... died from drinking the elixir? so indirectly his tongue could symbolize that?? i guess???
rose means red, she was born through murder, she got her bio mother’s red hair, we have her blood 
albert could be seen as a mastermind behind a lot of these events, and a lot of this was caused by the mental illness he never got help for, so we have his brain
leonard lost his foot in the war
the only one i cant figure out is mary’s teeth, i have no idea what that one could mean unless she Did die of old age and “teeth falling out” is meant to symbolize that
theres.... three teeth and she had three children? i have no idea 
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anyway DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL 
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hm. unpleasant 
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the other brother Confirmed to be mr. crow but its still possible mr. owl is Not in fact william but he could be talking about future william when he Becomes mr. owl, maybe 
this is such a mess ok so william was reborn as a baby, the grandchildren looked like they were consumed by the roots but we see rose holding the baby so at least she’s still alive (and probably the boys too if she is) 
and this process also created the seed which planted the tree so... william’s death and subsequent rebirth also created the family tree?? i guess?? so his family was brought to ruin one by one possibly through him influencing events from beyond the grave, all to revive him, which started the family in the first place, and there’s definitely a lot of... “all time is one/timelines can be altered” not direct Time Travel but just sort of. time as a nonlinear web that the original vanderboom brothers seem able to transcend 
hm! hm. theres still. so much i dont understand but i have at least one more game left im not sure if the other things in the bundle are related to rusty lake or just other things by the same developers 
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what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol
hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?
whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.
firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships. 
the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.
i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.
unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.
so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.
n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.
so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.
.
now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.
did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.
quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)
n that is dangerous.
back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.
we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative. 
a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.
so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.
all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.
special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear. 
this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.
okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.
remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.
remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.
(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.
putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.
can u tell how much that does not appeal to me. 
never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.
n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.
i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.
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