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#actually expecting samurai with a mission to start playing but. yeah. its him. the new theme is sexy...............................😔👉👈
makeste ¡ 3 years
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BnHA Chapter 301: All My Todorokis
Previously on BnHA: We learned that when a bunch of superpowered villains are suddenly set loose with nobody around to stop them, things get fucked pretty quickly. Old Man Samurai and a bunch of other useless people decided to make “I pretend I do not see it” their new mantra, and resigned. Endeavor had a moment of despair on account of being crushed by the guilt of having ruined the lives of himself, his family, and basically everyone else in the entire world. For various reasons the heretical notion of “person who has done bad things feels sorry for doing them” sent fandom spiraling into a meltdown, so that was fun. The chapter ended with the entire Todoroki clan descending upon Enji’s hospital room to have a dramatic chat about Touya and All That General Fuckery.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “here’s the story of how Baby Touya slowly went insane trying to win his father’s love.” It’s a tale full of subverted expectations and heartbreaking inevitability, and also like twenty panels of the cutest fucking kids who ever existed on planet earth, who are so fucking cute that I can’t stop thinking about their cuteness even with all of the horrifying family tragedy unfolding around them. It is absolutely ridiculous how cute they are. Touya is out here pushing his tiny body past its limits because he inherited the same obsession as his dad and neither of them can put it aside even though it’s destroying them, and yet all I can think about is Baby Shouto’s (。・o・。) face. Anyways what a chapter.
so I have to confess that even though I managed to avoid being caught off-guard by the early leaks, the number of people reblogging my Endeavor posts from earlier this week and using the tag “bnha 301” kind of gave me an inkling that this chapter will include more Tododrama lol. that said, I don’t know anything else about it, so we’re still good spoiler-wise
AHHHHH FLAHSBAKC AHHHH. omg I know I typoed the shit out of that, but I’m just going to leave it lol I think it’s fitting
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holy shit holy fuck. so this is Rei and Enji’s first meeting, then??
yepppp, oh shit
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so wait, I know this is not even the slightest bit important, but are they meeting at Enji’s home or Rei’s? because I always figured that Enji was the one with the super-Japanese aesthetic, but maybe that was Rei’s side of the family all along
(ETA: from what I found during my very brief google search, omiai meetings are often held at fancy hotels or restaurants, so maybe that’s what this is.)
there’s such a period drama feel to this setting. like it’s so outrageously formal fff how can anyone stand this kind of atmosphere though seriously
OH THANK GOD
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I mean they’re still stiff af but at least they’re not rigidly sitting in seiza and staring at each other unblinkingly anymore lol. Enji’s actually got his hands in his pockets now. why is this somehow almost cute
oh damn it’s the flowers
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Rei seems so subdued and it’s so hard to get any idea of what she’s actually thinking. I want to see her side of this dammit
but anyway, so at least from Enji’s perspective it seems like even though the marriage was arranged and he picked her because of her quirk, he still loved his wife and wanted to do right by her. the fact that he was watching her and noticed that she liked the flowers, and remembered that detail for all these years -- there’s a reason why Horikoshi’s showing us this. we know what’s going to happen later on; we know how much fear and violence and breaking of trust is coming up ahead, and while it may seem like this scene is serving to soften Enji’s character further -- which to be fair it is -- it also helps drive home the full impact of his abuse. that it’s so terrible not only because of the trauma of the abuse itself, but also because of the way it retroactively destroys all of the good things as well. this could have potentially been such a sweet scene, but it’s inescapably tainted by the knowledge of what’s to come, at least for me. and that’s just brutal
anyways, shit. is the whole chapter going to be like this?? feel free to toss in something I can actually make a joke about sometime, Horikoshi
oop, back to the present
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omfg lol
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“are you all right” “NO I’M NOT ALL RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK.” “oh, right, because of all the stuff that’s happened with me abusing you and you having a mental breakdown and being hospitalized for ten years and then our son coming back to life and killing thirty people, right, right. I almost forgot.” whoops
omfg you guys I’m loving this new and improved steely-eyed Rei. I’m loving her a lot
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and what do you mean “part one” fkjds how long is this going to be. TOO MUCH DRAMA FOR ONE CHAPTER TO HANDLE
oh, hello
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yeah I’ll say you did. didn’t seem to bother you much at the time, though
HMMMMMMMMMMMM
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Dabi Is A Noumu intensifies even further. anyways though would you fucking look at this boy lounging on this moth-eaten couch doing his best DRAW ME LIKE YOUR FRENCH GIRLS impression wtf
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Dabi what if you actually had killed him??? what would you feel?? satisfaction?? regret?? anything at all?? tell me your secrets goddammit
who are you talking to buddy
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Fuyumi-chan, Natsu-kun (is it common for brothers to address each other as -kun?? can’t recall seeing that in many other anime, but hey), and “dot dot dot,,,,,, SHOUTO” lol thank you so much for this bountiful heaping of Tododrama Horikoshi we are blessed
AH, WHAT DID I SAY THE OTHER DAY
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ULTIMATE MELODRAMATIC THEATER CHILD. “I’M JUST GOING TO LIE ON THIS COUCH SHIRTLESS AND ALONE AND MAKE SPEECHES TO MY FAMILY MEMBERS WHO AREN’T THERE AND SAY THINGS LIKE ‘WATCH ME IN THE PITS OF HELL’ WITH A STRAIGHT FACE BECAUSE NO ONE’S THERE TO JUDGE ME.” WELL JOKE’S ON YOU MISTER CHATTERBOX BECAUSE I AM IN FACT JUDGING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU LOL
(ETA: and on a more serious note, it’s interesting to see that “look at me”/”watch me” theme being used again though, because we see that same sentiment uttered repeatedly by the younger Touya in the flashback. well kid, you definitely got your wish at last. don’t know what else to say.)
OKAY HORIKOSHI HAS DECIDED THAT’S ENOUGH FUN, TIME FOR MORE FLASHBACKS
oh my sweet precious lord
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just as cute as we left him. giving us a child this cute when we all know full well what’s going to happen to him is just unspeakably cruel though
HOMG
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I’m fucking speechless. you broke me, congratulations. what am I even supposed to do with this
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I can’t get over this. moving forward my life will be split into two distinct parts, B.P. (Before the Pout) and A.P. (After the Pout)
and meanwhile there’s ALL THIS BACKGROUND ANGST BUILDING UP, AND I CAN’T EVEN FOCUS ON IT. Touya’s arm and cheek are covered in bandages (I’m guessing this is shortly after that “ouch!” panel we got some chapters back), and Enji is deliberately avoiding training with him because he doesn’t want him to hurt himself further. I can’t fucking get over the irony that all this time everyone thought Touya had died because Enji pushed him too far in his training, and it turns out that it’s the opposite -- the tragedy ultimately happened because he didn’t want to push him. but I’m jumping ahead of myself though I guess
by the way,
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remember this?? just wanted to remind you that it exists just in case you forgot
so now someone is talking and basically saying that Touya is the exact opposite of what Enji was hoping for when he decided to start playing with quirk genetics
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-- okay hold up
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...lol no, never mind. for a second I thought “holy shit he looks kind of familiar WHAT IF IT’S UJIKO OMG” before I remembered that Enji would have recognized him during the hospital capture mission if that was the case. so NEVER MIND, PROCEED
IMAGINE THAT, ENJI DOESN’T QUITE SEEM SATISFIED WITH THIS SUGGESTION OF QUITTING NOW
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(ETA: how the fuck did this man go around saving 62 towns in a single day what even is All Might.)
[clicks tongue several times] trouble a’brewin’
MEANWHILE BABY TOUYA HAS UNFORTUNATELY INHERITED HIS DAD’S STUBBORN STREAK
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KLDIHWOEIJFL:KSDJ
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!!!!!!!!!!!
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oh my god. oh my god. what is this chapter. WHAT IS IT
so now Touya is all “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND MY MANLY DESIRE TO BURN MYSELF ALIVE” well you got her there champ
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THEY’RE TOO CUTE. OH MY GOD. HIS FURIOUS LITTLE TEARS. HER CHUBBY LIL FACE. HIS STUBBY LIL FISTS. SOMEONE HELP ME
also are they just home alone lol or what. “hey Touya, you’re what, like six now?? do us a favor and look after your baby sister for a couple hours for us would you? make sure not to set yourself on fire or anything.” WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!!
now it’s nighttime and Enji and Rei are arguing, presumably about his decision not to train Touya anymore
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whew. okay. so, a couple of things here
1. first of all I think this conclusively shows that Enji really was trying to do the best he could for Touya. he stopped training him as soon as he realized it was hurting him, but Touya was still determined so he tried to make it work anyway, and even visited doctors to try and figure out if there was anything they could do. then, once they were absolutely sure that it wasn’t going to work, he tried multiple times to explain to Touya why they had to stop. he didn’t just abandon him out of the blue, which is really important to note. “no matter how much I tried telling him...”
so yeah, that debunks another common fandom accusation. so by the time he finally makes this decision, which we all know is going to turn out horribly, it’s basically because he’s already tried everything else he could think of. which, by the way, still doesn’t mean he handled this right. but at the very least he was taking Touya’s feelings into account and he was trying, and he didn’t just abruptly toss his son aside (at least not yet)
2. buuuut, then there’s this panel right below all that
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which is the other side of it. if he’d just quit like the doctor person advised him to, that would have been the end of it. Touya would still have been upset, but he would have eventually gotten over it and the family would have moved on and possibly even been happy. but what happens next happens because Enji can’t let go. he still has this maddening urge to surpass All Might, and so he and Rei keep having more children, and then Shouto is born, and Enji finally has a kid he can start projecting all of his hysterical ambitions onto once again, and everything starts spiraling out of control soon after
though p.s. none of that is Shouto’s fault though!! he’s one of the few good things to come out of this whole mess and I’m very happy that he exists. the tragedy is that his dad fucking lost his mind over his quirk and fucked everything up. but that’s on him, not Touya or Shouto
anyways, SLKFJLSHGLKJL
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I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE THIS YOU GUYS??? LOOK AT THAT LIL BUTTON OF A NOSE??? I’M LOSING IT HERE???
AND TOUYA JUST SEEMS DEVASTATED OMG
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because children aren’t stupid, after all. he understands that his dad is still looking to surpass All Might. and so he feels like a failure, and feels like his dad is trying to replace him because he wasn’t good enough. and even now, isn’t that what the adult Touya is trying to prove?? that he was good enough after all?? “I’ll show you what happens when you give up on me, dad”?? “I’ll show you what I can do”?? fuck my life fuck everything
AND YOU CAN SEE THE TOLL THAT IT’S ALL TAKING ON REI GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AS WELL OH GOD
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really nice touch here with the panel outlines becoming all shimmery from the heat of Endeavor’s flames (and/or becoming more unstable as the family gets closer and closer to their breaking point). but man, Horikoshi I can’t handle this, please show us more cute kids or something I can’t
GKELKWFJLDKSHFLKL
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WITTLE BABE. BEEB. BUBS. SMOL. lkj; oh ouch a piece of my heart just detached and latched onto him huh look at that
TODOROKI “I’M SO SMALL AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON AND I DIDN’T ASK TO BE HERE” SHOUTO AHHHHH
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crazy how they all just seem to know right off the bat lol. kid doesn’t even have object permanence yet, let alone a quirk. but do they care?? IT’S THE HAIR, RIGHT. WE’RE ALL THINKING IT, I’M JUST GONNA COME OUT AND SAY IT. they knew the minute they looked at him lol
AND MEANWHILE TOUYA IS OFF HAVING UNSUPERVISED TRAINING/CRYING SESSIONS IN THE MOUNTAINS OR WHATEVER, AND, UH OH
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are those blue flames yet?? they seem pretty close
(ETA: this is one of the few cases where the manga being in black and white is infuriating lol.)
OH MY GOD AND STILL
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so it’s not like he was so disinterested that he didn’t notice what was happening, and he was still trying to stop it and get through to him. trying to reassure him that it wasn’t the end of the world and there were other things he could do with his life, but this one particular thing just wasn’t going to happen
fucking hell. it’s agonizing seeing how close they actually were to fixing it. if he’d only said the right words, or if he’d realized at this point how destructive his obsession could be to his kids, and backed off from putting that same pressure on Shouto. we came so close to possibly having a happy ending
AND ALSO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING BUT PLEASE LOOK AT HOW TOUYA IS LIKE THREE AND A HALF FEET TALL AND HIS DAD IS LIKE NINE AND A HALF FEET. Touya barely comes past his knees flkjlkg. the Todoroki household must have been so filled with like plastic stepstools to reach the bathroom sink and all the little baby toothbrushes, and baby gates to keep the kiddos out of the important grown-up rooms and stuff. and also days-old half-empty cups of water and stale crackers and hot wheels and my little ponies strewn everywhere
“BUT EVERYONE AT SCHOOL SAYS THEY’RE GONNA BE HEROES” a wild Deku parallel appears?? how bout that
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I know this is like a pivotal moment in the Todo Tragedy and all, but fucking look at this lil dumpling
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“sup bro, it’s me, the manifestation of your fears of inadequacy and lack of fatherly affections. a GAAA. ba-baAA-baa [gurgling baby sounds]”
OHHHHH IT’S THE SOUND OF MY HEART BREAKING OH NO
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HE WANTS TO BE LIKE YOU ENJI. good lord somebody please just get this family some therapy
“DAD YOU IGNITED IT IN ME” flkjslkj nope, nope. not ready for this pain here
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baby Shouto, would you like to weigh in on this affair? “DA!! ba-ga-daaa, [pacifier chewing noises]” oh my, you don’t say. so insightful for one so young
OH MY GODDDDDD
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IT’S SO DRAMATIC BUT ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT ARE THE SHOUNEN WOOSH LINES SURROUNDING FOUR-MONTH-OLD SHOUTO LOL HE WAS LIKE THIS FROM BIRTH OH MY GOD I AM DYING HELP
SHOUTO YOU’RE RUINING THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER!?!?!
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“yo, the fuck kind of family was I fucking born into” oh, son. if you only knew. IF YOU ONLY KNEW!!
(ETA: lmao I got so distracted by the ridiculous cuteness that I glossed over the fact that Baby Touya seems to possibly be aiming at him?? it’s hard to tell because he’s also super out of it from heatstroke and may just be losing control in his attempt to show off his upgrade.)
ANYWAY THAT’S THE END EXCEPT WHAT’S THIS LAST LINE OMG
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ffffff. and we’re in for ANOTHER chapter of this next week?? MORE drama?? MORE BABIES?? MORE OF EIGHT-YEAR-OLD TOUYA’S SLOW DESCENT INTO MADNESS. MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT, BUT ALSO YES PLEASE SIGN ME UP
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shastelly ¡ 5 years
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Distance - March Klance Prompts from MonthlyKlance - Day 14
Author’s note:  Sorry for falling behind, been fighting a stomach bug, my mom had knee surgery, kid had a class field trip, and honestly was feeling a bit overwhelmed and needed some sleep and a break.  Coming back to ya refreshed and ready to write :)
Three thousand five hundred and forty meters, that's how far away Lance was when the Galra soldier got the drop on me.  That's how far he was when his voice whispered through my com.
 "Don't move."
 My heart pounded and muscles tensed with the need to move, to defend myself and my team from the threat I could feel at my back, but then, even before I could finish that though a loud pop sounded and something heavy thudded on the ground behind me.  Over two miles and I turned around to see the Galra, wicked blade still in hand, with a perfect hole between his eyes.
 I look back in the direction I knew Lance was and whispered over the com, "Thanks."
 "Got your back, Samurai," echoed back to me.
 Pidge and Hunk were kneeling a few meters in front of me.  Allura was on the other side of the street.  We weren't even in place yet, there wasn't supposed to be any resistance yet, I had not expected Lance to make that kind of shot.  I guess, maybe I had underestimated his ability. He'd whined as much at the mission prep, but we'd dismissed him.  A kernel of guilt wormed its way in my gut.  He'd found a suitable spot for a sniper nest at about half that distance away from his drop off point from the one I’d picked.  The one he was headed to required he move a significant distance alone, but we hadn't expected resistance in that area, of course we hadn’t expected resistance in the area I was in either.  
 "Keep your eyes open, Sharpshooter, if we have unexpected company here, you could there."  I hissed in concern.
 "No worries, just using my ninja skills to bypass the unfriendlies." came the reply.
 Shit, bypass, meant leaving people at his back.
 "Impact on your escape route?" I snap.
 "Could be interesting?"  His nervousness edged into his attempt at humor.
 "Quiznak." Why couldn't anything go as planned?
 "I got this, I'm good."  Lance muttered.
 "I don't like it."  I really didn’t.
 "I know, but so far, there isn't anything here that says no go to me.  I got this."  He restated firmly.
 "Okay, but you let me know as soon as it changes, right?"  I asked just a touch desparate.  I trust Lance for a lot of things but telling me when he's in trouble isn't really one of them.
 "Would I risk this beautiful body?"  Lance asked mock indignation dripping through the com.
 "Yes!" I, Hunk, Pidge, and Allura all answered at nearly the same time.
 Lance made some sort of sound, but wisely chose not to comment further.
 I'd like to say the plan had been simple, but in truth it hadn't.  We had received word from the Blades that there was a high-ranking political prisoner on this world.  We have hopes that it could be one of the Holts or Shiro, but either way, high ranking prisoner seems worth extracting.  The prison, according to the intel, is in the basement of one of the bombed-out buildings in the center of this dead town, that sort of looked like Chicago, if the buildings in Chicago were green and Lake Michigan was yellow, oh and if it had been bombed and destroyed about a thousand years ago.  
 Due to the obscure location and top-secret nature of the facility, the guard was supposed to be relatively small, with very few patrols in the city surrounding, most concentrated in the two-block area surrounding the prison.  The plan then was for Lance to take up a cover position in a ten-story building about 1000 m from the prison.  It had a covered garden on the roof and Lance would be able to move all around the building without risk of being seen by anyone from the ground or the air.  Lance had originally picked a twenty-story building about 1600 m away where he had argued he could switch floors or sides of the building easily as it was all glass, but I had been concerned about the distance and him having to move so much. We had dropped him off at a site that provided a direct route to the building and then the rest of us were on the ground team, move in and take the prison and free the prisoner.  
 Except now we had met their third patrol since the one that got a drop on me. Lance had mentioned at least one as far out as he was.  Either their intel was bad, or something had changed.  I was getting a very bad feeling about the whole situation.
 Two thousand meters, the distance to the cloaked Green Lion on the shore of the weird yellow lake.  Hunk had pondered whether it was natural or pollution.  As he had said, it wasn't a very nice kind of yellow.  Pidge called it Piss lake, and I honestly couldn't argue with her, it smelled too.
 "I've reached the building.  Starting up. I won't have good eyes on you." Lance warned.
 I nodded to Allura who had point and she nodded back.  She had heard and understood.  I had asked the others to go radio silence as we made our way through the city and I would maintain contact with Lance to reduce chatter and our chance of discovery.  I was bringing up the rear, so in theory it meant I shouldn't risk discovery.  Of course, that hadn't played out exactly like that a few dobashes ago, but I stand by the theory.
 "Okay, Lance, let us know when you reach the top.  We are still two thousand meters out."  I returned.
 The rubble was thicker here and moving had to be slow or we would be causing a lot of noise and dust.  Given the patrols we'd observed, that didn't seem like a good idea.  Allura held up her hand and we all took cover.  Allura practically blending with the wall.  I think she may have actually used her shifting ability like a chameleon.  Pidge just disappeared and Hunk, well he found a door to duck into, subtlety and sneaking were not his things.  I crouched behind a large chunk of building as the patrol moved through the street. All droids, six of them.  The feeling of something being wrong was building. Droid patrols were hard to miss, even in this environment with the buildings.  They were too routine, timed - there was no reason this shouldn't have been included in the intel.  So again was it a change or bad intel and at this point bad intel pointed to betrayal.
 "Guys, I'm not liking this."  I muttered into the coms.  "The intel stinks, either they've been warned we are coming are this has been a set up all along."
 "I'm there."  Pidge whispered.
 "Me too."  Hunk chimed.
 "The problem is if it's just that they know we are coming, is the prisoner still real?"  Allura asked.
 And that was the real question at this point.  It was a trap, but what was the trap baited with?  Would I walk into a trap for Shiro?  Hell yes.  Would I lead the team into one for him?  I didn't want to have to answer that.
 "Keith, if we can get closer, I can scan for the prison.  I can get a good reading on the basements of these buildings and about four buildings ahead.  So, either I'll see it, or see where I'm being blocked, or I'll see nothing." Pidge offered.
 "Okay, move forward, eyes open."  I decided.  We needed more information I told myself.
 "Eyes in the sky."  Lance chuckled.  "The patrol is well past, you are clear to move."  He was more than a little winded and I wondered if he had run up the whole ten stories.
 One hundred meters to target we had run into three additional droid only patrols, and now we found our first actual soldiers.  
 "Patrol, and this one had two live ones in it."  Lance called.  We dove into hiding.
 "Hunk, I can see you man, try the doorway behind you and to your left." Lance advised the yellow paladin. I watched him scurry to the new location, hand tightened around my blade fearful of hearing the patrol coming.  
 "Further back, Hunk."  I heard Hunk sigh and movement.  "Okay, good, you're good Buddy."  Lance seemed relieved.  I felt my grip relax.  If Lance couldn't spot him, then he was safe.
 The patrol made its way slowly through the street and we managed to go undetected. The two live soldiers kept their eyes roaming but did not see us.  I let the rest of my body relax when they were a block past us.
 When they were three blocks and had turned the corner, Lance gave us the all clear to move.  This was about the point I had expected to run into patrols, but the feeling of wrongness wasn't leaving.  The guards were too alert.  They didn't look like guards assigned to patrol a prison that no one knew about. My skin crawled.
 "Pidge, before we move, can you run a scan here, just see if you can get a read on what's ahead?"  I asked quietly.
 "Yeah."  A few moments passed.  "The terrain matches the intel we received.  I picked up on at least six patrols moving in the about hundred-meter radius I can pick up their signatures.  That won't account for any patrols that might not have droids.  This isn't lightly guarded, this is locked up tight."  Pidge worried.  I knew she wanted this as bad as I did, probably worse as even if it wasn't Shiro it could be a family member.
 "Lance, what do you see?"  I asked.
 "Be still and I'll look around."  He ordered.  "Okay, confirm, five, no six patrols, all mixed droids and live.  They do seem to be circling a central point, that matches the intel…give me a dobash or two."  We could hear movement from Lance.  He must be changes angles for another view on the target. "Something's wrong."  He muttered.
 "What? What do you see?"  I whisper.
 "I can't put my finger on it.  I'm seeing it, but I just feel something wrong.  Sorry, I'll let you know if it comes to me.  I'm moving back.  Wait till I'm in place, okay?"  Lance moved again and after a dobash or two.  "Okay, you are clear to move.  Plan to stop at the next block to wait out the next patrol."
 Fifty meters to the target and the second patrol had passed.  Lance had shifted to his secondary location now and was covering our final approach.
 "Clear."  Lance called.
 At this point I could see the target.  The building was leveled.  There was a stairway behind about a two-foot wall, all that apparently remained of the previous building.  
 "Okay, how close for the scan, Pidge?"  
 "I can try here, but about ten more meters would be better."  She whispered back.
 "The building on the right, with the long windows."  Lance spoke through the coms.  "It is clear, and you could take some time to get the scans done and not worry about patrols."
 "What if someone goes in?"  Hunk murmured into the coms as they entered the building.
 No one answered him and Pidge began her work.
 "What if…"  Lance mumbled something.
 "I didn't copy Lance, what was that?"  I felt my gut churning at this point my instincts said run.
 "It's just what Hunk said, what is they go…Quiznak!  Get out of there.  It's a set up.  It has to be. That is what was bothering me.  No one has gone in or out of that quiznaking stairway!"  Lance snarled.
 Just as he said that Pidge echoed, "It's just a basement, just like all the others in this area, and it’s empty," concern coloring her tone.  
 "This is a trap, nothing more."  Allura stated flatly disappointment coloring her tone. "There was never anything here to find.  We need to pull out and contact the Blade.  Their agent has either gone to the other side or been discovered."
 I cringed. Blades didn't get turned, but they did get killed, far too frequently, "I'll send them a notice as soon as we reach Green."
 "Lance, you read, that's a fall back."  I turned as I spoke checking the door.  
 "Okay, you have a patrol, that needs to pass, and then…this is a really bad trap, I mean did they think we were stupid and would just come in guns blazing, where is the trap?"  Lance worried.  "Be still while that patrol passes, let me get a look around."
 We waited as the patrol outside went past - ten droids and two galra this time.  As soon as it was far enough past, I made my way over to Pidge.  
 "Anything change on the scan?"  
 "What, no the basement is still a…what…wait a minute?  That was the only patrol in my radius?"  Pidge looked up shocked.
 "Quiznak!"  Lance nearly yelled.
 "What?"
 "I found your patrols.  They are surrounding Green.  She has her particle shield up, but there are at least 100 droids and probably twenty flesh in blood soldiers around her."  Lance spat the words.  He knew they'd been played.  "I should have been watching where they went.  I'm sorry Keith."
 "Not your fault."  I reassured. The last thing I needed right now was him taking blame.  "Lance, I…have you checked your neighborhood?"  The bad feeling was starting to get a lot worse.
 "I…no."  A brief pause in which I really hoped he'd laugh and tell me I was wrong.  "Oh, fuck."  
 "Lance?" I breathed.
 "I'm surrounded."  He stuttered. "They have the building surrounded, probably twenty droids and five soldiers at least.  I'm going to have to move.  I've got incoming up the stairs.  I can't cover you."
 "The quiznak, Lance, get out of there, we will worry about us."  I snarled.
 "Yeah, I'm going to try some rooftop jumping with the jet pack, see if I can get clear of them and get down.  I don't know if I can get to you."  He sounded unsure, nervous.
 "The jet pack is a good idea."  I assured. "Don't worry about finding us. We'll get to you."
 "Pidge, can we contact the castle?"  Allura was asking in the background.
 "I can't get a signal out.  They must be blocking us."  Pidge snarled in frustration.
 "Okay, going."  Lance's voice called over the com.  "I've got company coming up the stairs."  I could hear the sound him running and breathing heavily, and the background of shots being fired.
 Fifty feet was approximately how far Lance had to jump between buildings.  The jet packs could do that no problem, I had jumped much further.  However, Lance was being shot at.
 "Ow." Lance whispered between breaths.  "Okay, made it to the next roof.  I need to keep going.  I'm going to try to get ahead of them enough to get to the ground and get better cover. I'm not enjoying target practice when I'm the clay pigeon."
 "Lance, are you hit?"  Somehow, I knew that answer before I even asked.
 "Armor caught most of it," he muttered.
 "And what it didn't catch?" I rolled my eyes at his avoidance.
 "Pretty good graze on my leg, not critical, but," he paused.
 "It's slowing you down."  I answered. "Look try to head toward us and we'll head to you.  Okay?"
 "Yeah. Got to make another jump."  I could hear him breathing harder and the tension in his voice was clear.  "Shit."
 "Lance?!"  Lance generally didn't swear much more than quiznak and if he did there was usually a good reason.
 "…dio…damage…d…" and static filled the com.  
 His radio is just damaged I told myself, he's fine, just damage to the radio in his helmet on his head, no need to be concerned.  I turned to the concerned eyes of the team.  
 "Okay, we're going for Lance first.  Pidge see if you can track him.  Sounds like his radio is out, so it would be good to have a way to pinpoint him. We'll want his help getting Green and getting out of here."  As I spoke, I could see them pulling themselves together, pushing their own fears and concerns to the side.  We would do this for Lance.  We only had approximately 1000 meters to go.
 TO BE CONTINUED
   This story will be continued in Day 16 Rivalry
42 notes ¡ View notes
crossoverstarfinding ¡ 6 years
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The Kingdom
Steel Quasar takes a moment to admire his city and celebrate with his inner circle.
It was perfect, the fluorescent city below him, the neon lights, the hardwood in his office, and especially the artificial intelligence that greeted him every day upon his arrival. Yes, this empire, no, this Industrate was quite possibly the best thing he ever created.  Yes, this was “Steel Quasar’s” best work, and it’s always a sight to behold when waiting for the regular duo to enter meeting area.
“Is there sssomething out there that’sss caught your eye, Quasssar-dono?”  The voice hissed, its source being a reptilian humanoid clad in what was traditionally recognized as “samurai” armor.  The plated being stood there, without helmet, awaiting the response from Steel Quasar.
“The whole thing, Yemegrabe, the entirety of the city below.”  The man gestured to the window in front of him, sweeping across the landscape that lay below them, “Through the help of the three of you… I’ve created this kingdom.”
Yemegrabe could only nod, he knew how much this city had meant to his new master, and the new beginning it was to him and others.  His small moment of concentration was broken by a knock at the door, opening right after with no regard for a response.
“Sonan, you know you don’t need to, like, knock on the door if he’s expecting us,” The first voice of the two filled the room, it could best be described as… preppy in some way, “He called us to his office first, if he isn’t ready he wouldn’t have messaged us.”
The steel frame of the woman is what entered the room after, she was what they all considered to be the first success, a cybernetically enhanced woman who’s more robot than human at this point, but still human beneath the skin.  Her clothing reflecting her personality, her coat only masking the ridiculous t-shirt she wore beneath, jeans completing her outfit underneath that.  Her black hair, still with a blonde streak up front, was let completely let down just above her shoulders.
“Jessica!” Her name was called out afterwards, presumably by Sonan.
“Whaaaat?” Jessica responded, rather annoyed.
“Just because he’s called us does not mean we have to, to skip out on these formalities!  He is our lord, after all, you cannot simply just barge wherever you like!”  The more professionally dressed Sonan retorted.
His outfit also reflected his own personality, a vest over an ironed shirt, a tie wrapped around his neck and neat, black slacks finishing off his own outfit.  Sonan’s own hair neatly braided into a ponytail, draped just over his shoulder as he glared over at Jessica.  His demeanor softened and rested in a neutral expression as he turned back to Steel Quasar afterwards.
“My lord, I am sorry for Jessica’s tomfoolery, I tried to tell her to be much more respectful of you on the way over.”  Sonan being the suck up he usually was.
This always entertained Quasar, Sonan being as flustered as he was with Jessica just helped to ground Sonan in a way.  It helped Sonan realize that, despite being a cog in this machine, you were still a person. As much as that might annoy Sonan, it was necessary in a way.  Though, Quasar would never tell Sonan this, just allowing Sonan to continue to suck up to him.
“Nyeh, nyeh, I’m Sonan and I have to suck up to Jack every time I’m in a meeting with him and Jessica.” She punctuated this statement by sticking her tongue out at Sonan.
This really did show off how human Jessica still was, despite her own body being primarily metal and cybernetic, she still had her emotions and easily acted annoyed, flabbergasted, excited, just about every range of emotion one could consider was able to be displayed by Jessica thanks to her human mind.  Despite being her own experiment, Quasar couldn’t help but consider her a friend in a way, it also helped that she was consistent and reliable in all the missions he sent her out on.  So she got slaps on the wrists most the time, unless she really made him angry. That was never the case most the time, it was mainly Sonan’s bad end that she got on.
“I do not sound like that, Jessica!” Always the clever one Sonan was.
“I dunno, could’ve fooled me.” Jessica retorted.
It would have continued like this were it not for Quasar clearing his throat, he wasn’t going to allow this to go on for much longer.
“Ah! I’m sorry, sir!” Sonan bowed almost immediately.
“Yeah, uh, sorry Jack.” Jessica awkwardly rubbed the back of her head.
“If I could, I’d like to tell you why I called you here.” Quasar’s tone was no nonsense as always.
Sonan gulped, Jessica fidgeted a bit in place, they didn’t know what was so urgent that he needed the both of them there.  It was a rare occasion that this happened, and usually, it wasn’t good.  Jessica ran through her memory, what the heck happened recently that could cause Quasar to call them into the office.  Sonan’s own mind was running as fast as Jessica’s processes, he didn’t know, was it something he did, was it a project he could have turned in earlier, it was probably something that Jessica’s tomfoolery resulted in, whatever it was he didn’t know.
“Meri, I have something to request of you.” Quasar said aloud.
In almost an instant, a projector turned on displaying the image of a green-skinned, yellow-eyed humanoid figure antennae hanging from her head as she wore what could best be described as an outfit a pop idol would wear.
“Yes, Mr. Quasar, sir! I am here to do anything you need!” Meri exclaimed before doing a little bow.
“Tell the two others what I’ve marked today as.” Quasar was quick with his command.
“Hmm…”  She was quiet for a moment, pulling up a calendar from hammerspace, “You wrote down ‘Anniversary’ here in the calendar, sir.”
With that Quasar began to do a small clap, a smile spread across his face which was met with confusion from the Samsaran and the Human.
“What? Anniversary?” Sonan trailed off as he began to think again.
“Anniversary for what?” Jessica asked turning to face Quasar.
“For the four of us finally meeting one another!” Quasar continued with a small smile, “Without the four of us, this Industrate would never have lifted itself up off the ground after all, so I thought it would be reason for a small celebration.”
“Sir, with all due respect, I really should be going back to work.  This is may be a monumental occasion but I cannot fall too far behind on my current wor-“ Sonan was interrupted before he could finish.
“Sonan, I know you’re at least two weeks ahead on your project.  A small celebration that would take maybe 15-30 minutes will hardly put a dent on that.” Quasar quickly shut down the argument.
“I-uh, yes sir.”
The defeated Samsaran looked down for a moment, before his sulking was quickly interrupted by the jovial tone of Jessica.  She was bouncing up and down excitedly hardly finding a way to keep still whatsoever.
“Oh my gosh, I didn’t know you kept track of that!  How are we gonna celebrate? Oh, Yemegrabe you should celebrate too!” Jessica walked over to Yemegrabe, circling him energetically like a puppy.
“Pleassse Jesssica, hold ssstill, you’re making thisss a far bigger deal than it actually isss.”  He hissed beneath his helmet.
“Yemegrabe, please do join us, there’s enough for everyone.”  Quasar motioned to a tray in front of him, several glasses of scotch lay on his desk.
“Sir, you know I don’t, erm, drink.”  Sonan continued to look down dejectedly.
“It’s only one drink, and it’s really not that much.  After all, it is a very expensive and very fine bottle of scotch I used for this occasion.”  Quasar looked over at Sonan, flashing a smile that showed of his… immaculate teeth.
“Ah, o-of course, sir.” Sonan hesitantly lifted a glass off the tray.
Soon the remaining three did the same, each taking their own unique glass to celebrate with.
“To fresh starts and new beginnings.”  Quasar lifted his glass up first for a toast.
“To fresh starts and new beginnings!” The rest followed, clinking their glass with his.
They each took a sip of their glass soon after, Sonan wincing heavily as he sipped his, but it leads to a happy sight from all four.  It was these four that lead to the creation of this Industrate, each playing their own important role to the foundation.  It would be these four that would be the pillars of this empire for years to come, and it was up to these four to ensure that this empire… remained as an Industrate.
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recentanimenews ¡ 5 years
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THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Goes Full-On Scooby-Doo with Episodes 162-168!
Welcome to the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! I'm Joseph Luster and I'll be your host this week as we continue ninja-running through all 220 episodes of the original Naruto anime adaptation. After last week's spicy blend of the conclusion to the Curry of Life arc and a handful of one-offs in episodes 155 - 161, it's time to get downright spooky with the Land of Birds arc in episodes 162-168.
  This time around we have a storyline that's almost beefy enough to take up the entire seven episode bundle. It's also one of the few times a filler story has focused on a baddie who isn't really connected to Orochimaru in anyway, but it still gives Naruto and his team the opportunity to evoke some of the emotions that run through the core of the show, reminding us that Sasuke is still out there somewhere. 
  Before Naruto can get to him, he's gonna have to solve a straight-up Scooby Doo mystery. Thus, without further ado… Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this Naruto filler arc… The Tale of the Phantom Samurai. 
*sprinkles magical dust all over the post*
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The Cursed Warrior opener felt like a more natural and interesting introduction to a mission, with Naruto getting the opportunity to feel a personal connection to it and pushing to take it on. Let's start off with a State of the Filler report: How are you feeling about the structure of the series at this point?
  Paul: The overall structure would be better without entire seasons' worth of filler, but to abuse the phrase that gives pro translators headaches, “it can't be helped.” The filler itself varies wildly in quality. Most of us found Raiga and Ranmaru and the Curry of Life insufferable, but I really enjoyed the Land of Birds, with its combination of low stakes, simple motives, a Scooby-Doo style mystery, and ninja actually acting like ninja.
  Jared: It is what it is. We are stuck in the filler mines, but one day we will free ourselves from them. I think overall it’d be better if the longer filler arcs didn’t feel so formulaic at this point, but I doubt that’s going to change anytime soon.
  Kara: With a couple of minimal gripes that don’t even really count as gripes, I really enjoyed this. It had ties back to our standard story and characterization but was content to be its own thing.
  Noelle: It’s still not good; I’d rather not have any filler overall. Still, they are trying, and it is worth noting some more effort. In terms of filler, it’s pretty okay.
  David: I think the structure of the series can be most cleanly explained by the whiplash between how the current opening sequence shows a highlight reel of all the coolest moments from the show so far, and the sinking feeling I get when the episode actually starts.
  Carolyn: Yeah, I can’t necessarily get behind entire seasons of filler, either. That being said, I do like that we’re getting away from the Sasuke drama just a little bit and seeing a little bit more humor again.
  Danni: I’m still very much dreading more seasons of pure filler, but this arc was actually... pretty good??? The Land of Birds arc stands pretty well on its own on account of not tying itself into the Sasuke plotline at all. It’s able to end on a satisfying conclusion without the caveat of “Well we didn’t come any closer to finding Sasuke.” On top of that it was a pretty interesting little side story in its own right, even if it did tip its hand a little too much with the twist. We also got a fun little absurd precursor to Food Wars which was justified entirely by seeing Naruto use Rasengan to make ramen.
  Kevin: I like that they’re at least trying out new stuff. It adds a bit more to the world (even if that information later becomes contradictory) and allows for new stories. Hoki became more of a standard ninja enemy eventually, but when he was first revealed, he was using trickery to mimic more famous jutsu, which I don’t think we’ve seen as a main villain’s gimmick thus far.
    We've encountered a few characters like Lady Toki in the past. The story of she and her brother Sagi—her unwavering need for revenge—adds another layer to the Sasuke parallels that drove Naruto to become invested in this mission in the first place. Did these characters work for you, and was the villain at the story’s core a suitable antagonist for a whopping six-episode arc?
  Paul: I wasn't deeply emotionally invested in Ladi Toki's storyline, but her motives were clear, and so were the motives of Hoki, the opposing protagonist and the leader of the Wandering Ninja. I think Hoki works for me because he doesn't have a super-villain's goals: he just wants to take over a small, defenseless country and seize power so his clan can stop being homeless. Hoki and company also behave like actual ninja, complete with deception, thievery, dirty tricks, and subterfuge, and that's some of my favorite stuff in Naruto.
  Jared: I think the character arc of Toki would have been better if it wasn’t so blatantly obvious what the twist was going to be. The villains could have been interesting with the idea of "here’s some folks that are just this mix of random jutsu." They’re unfortunately undercut from the start when they mention that while they steal their jutsu, it’s basically bad Genjutsu. So all the villains end up looking like jobbers. I mean, Kakashi literally tells one of the bigger ones that using the sharingan on him would have been a waste because of how much of a scrub this dude was.
  Kara: Any villain without an upline to Orochimaru is already several points ahead in my book. I get that he’s the show’s Big Bad, but it’s easier to suspend disbelief for a world where sometimes bad things just happen and not all of it feeds back into The Ultimate Evil. As others have mentioned, the Twelfth Nightery of the whole thing is pretty heavily broadcast from the get-go, which meant I was largely distracted by wondering when the other characters were going to catch up. Even so, the story of Toki’s need for revenge and Naruto’s ability to speak to that intelligently from another POV was still good. That doesn’t change.
  Noelle: Personally, I didn’t care too much for Toki, and the surprise was relatively predictable. It’s not up to the threat level of say, the Akatsuki or Orochimaru, but that’s fine—not everyone can be world-shattering cataclysmic villains. While not entirely engaging, it set out to do something and in that sense, I’ll say that it worked. 
  David: It absolutely didn’t have to be six whole episodes long, as evidenced by how much the plot drug its feet to get to the conclusion we all knew was coming in the first place. However, I did appreciate how Naruto himself actually seemed to be connected, at least thematically, to the story, which is the best part of the show proper and something most of the filler arcs forget to include.
  Carolyn: I do agree with the previous points that I wasn’t really invested in the characters and the twist was not at all surprising. That being said, I do actually like the idea of stealing jutsu. We watch Naruto and Rock Lee and friends work so hard. Even if it’s just some lame, not very good jutsu, I like seeing the other side.
  Danni: I found myself surprisingly satisfied by this arc’s cast of characters. None of them were really deeply characterized, but they were written well enough to justify the time devoted to them. It was like ninja Scooby-Doo with more political intrigue. And while I did see some of the twists coming, Moso being the real villain actually caught me pleasantly by surprise. 
  Kevin: In short: not really, but he could’ve been. There are several things that could’ve gotten me to like this arc more. A better twist would’ve been if Toki’s voice was always at least a bit feminine, rather than outright changing from a male voice to a female one when she is revealed. We also haven’t seen much in the way of political villains before, so Hoki being a corrupt advisor trying to gain power was actually more interesting than when his full intentions were revealed later. It wasn’t bad, it just had more interesting aspects that were ignored in favor of what ended up being a fairly standard “good guys fight single bad guy” fight.
    The Land of Birds arc hinted at horror in the beginning, but it basically ended up being a beat-for-beat Scooby-Doo saga. How did your expectations of this arc pan out, and is there a particular type of direction you wish they had taken instead?
  Paul: While the mystery wasn't extremely intricate—I knew as soon as they mentioned that Sagi had a twin sister that she had already disguised herself and taken her elder brother's place—the presentation sold me on this story arc. I liked how it kept creating scenarios that seemed spooky and supernatural, only to reveal them to be nothing more than smoke and mirrors. I prefer that to everyone having X-Men level mutant powers.
  Jared: If they didn’t keep beating home the point of Sagi and Toki being twins, it probably would’ve been better for the twist. I liked the idea of Naruto being grounded in the sense that ghosts are the one thing he just wants to nope out on. Maybe the arc as a whole would’ve been better if it leaned more into the supernatural element and have that be the big baddie.
  Kara: I actually think there’s a lot of merit to playing out Scooby-Doo stories in settings that already accept at least some degree of the supernatural. Like, we’ve got people who go to school to learn to turn into snakes and possess other people. It’s entertaining to see not only a subversion of that, but also where the “spooky” line is for characters whose entire lives are pretty darn weird already.
  Noelle: I live off horror, I want fully horror! But in all seriousness, having the ghosts not necessarily be truth is fine. That being said… I wouldn’t mind more horror, considering that we know spirits and souls do exist. 
  David: I honestly didn’t even consider that it wouldn’t technically be out of place in-universe for there to be a ghost. Now I wish that had actually happened.
  Carolyn: First off, I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one who saw a Scooby-Doo parallel here. I even wrote a meddling kids joke in my notes. This arc was ridiculous and I loved it. I’m a big horror nerd, too. But when I was little, Scooby-Doo was as close as I could get to ghosts and demons, so I’m here for it.
  Danni: Literally as soon as I saw it was about unmasking a ghost, I made a Scooby-Doo joke in our Slack channel, so that was exactly what I expected and honestly hoped for. We even got a talking dog at one point!
  Kevin: I direct you to my previous answer. For those that don’t want to scroll back up, the basic version is that the arc had a lot of promise in the beginning, with a character reveal that could’ve been foreshadowed more interestingly and a type of villain we haven’t really seen in the show before… and then decided to not develop any of the interesting aspects and instead go for filler that isn’t outright bad, but just didn’t live up to what it could’ve been.
      Naruto's afraid of spirits, but what about you? Are ghosts real? Regale us with your own spiritual encounters if you've had any!
  Paul: When I was younger, I dabbled in occultism: seances, automatic writing, Tarot cards, transcendental meditation, etc. I used to believe in ghosts and was at one point convinced that I had actually seen and interacted with a few, but that was just the prelude to a full-on psychotic episode brought on by a combination of not eating, not sleeping, and intense grieving over the death of a close friend. Not a fun time. TL;DR version: sometimes my mind plays tricks on me, and ghosts aren't real.
  Jared: I can’t say I’ve ever really had any experiences with ghosts, spirits, or what have you. So, I’m not going to sit here and say they aren’t real, but I just don’t know. Plus, I try not to mess around with things that are spooky in general, so ghosts, if you’re out there, we don’t have to cross paths if necessary.
  Kara: Oh, fine, I’ll pop the seal, I guess. I went to a very old college. Declared majors could use their student IDs to get into the main building for their major 24 hours a day, so I’d abuse the privilege to take my gaming group into the English building for game night. The college has about 75 ghost stories, with the English department’s concerning a student who threw herself out the window of the third-floor study lounge (now classrooms and offices) after an especially bad year. You know the kind of story—she’d allegedly haunt happy students with good grades because she resented them. One night we’re in a second floor classroom playing whatever it was we were playing at the time. Something cracked us up enough that all of us started laughing, and a few seconds later every door on the floor above us slammed one after the other in rapid succession. I’m sure there’s some sort of explanation for it (wind, other students playing a prank), but we started gaming elsewhere regardless. 
  Noelle: I’m a little conflicted, because I haven’t had any supernatural experiences myself, but considering that I’ve been raised on a mix of Shinto-Buddhist and Christian beliefs, I do somewhat believe that supernatural phenomena is out there. It’s just normal to me to think that maybe there is something beyond science, that something spiritual could actually exist (also denying it and denying that many people take comfort in the existence of the supernatural feels kind of like overstepping my boundaries). Even if I’ve never seen a ghost, it would be pretty cool to see one. 
  David: My grandfather has had a life-sized harlequin doll for as long as I can remember, and it has always creeped me out. It’s placed in his room in such a way that when I go up the stairs to my room, I am forced to see it every single time, even at night because he leaves the TV on when he sleeps. Last week it was about 3 in the morning and I was coming upstairs with a late night snack, and as soon as I got to the top of the stairs and looked at the doll the TV flashed a bright white and I couldn’t see the doll anymore, but the sound on the TV was still going. I’m sure there’s a real explanation for this but some part of me believes the doll turned off the TV so I couldn’t see it moving.
  Carolyn: Yes. They are real. Really-real real. I had one friend who was part of a Rocky Horror cast that just about everyone had a story about some weird encounter connected to him in some way. I didn’t believe it for a second, but one day I was showering and a wind-up baby doll I had as a kid started playing music. It had stringy yarn hair, which was the part that made me rethink my skepticism of everyone else’s stories. A yarn wig had spawned a kind of inside joke between him and I. That being said, I have a lot of reasons I personally believe that witchcraft/spiritualism/religion are a psychological means of coping with stress and trauma. But ghosts are totally real.
  Danni: Nah.
  Kevin: I’ve never encountered a ghost, and if pressed into picking a side, would probably say that they don’t exist. If definitive scientific evidence comes out though, I’ll switch sides in a heartbeat. 
    Enough about the supernatural, because this set of episodes ended with a mission starring Naruto and Choji, AKA The Hungry Boiz™ (feat. Sakura). Did this need the tired “Are you a bad enough dude to rescue my daughter?” setup, or would you have been perfectly happy with The Hungry Boiz™ Ramen Roundup Noodle Spectacular®? 
  Paul: Ayame being kidnapped felt like a superfluous detail, and the concluding fat-phobic joke (complete with piggy squealing sound effects) dampened my enjoyment of the episode. Naruto and Choji don't need a reason to get worked up over ramen, and a Ninja Chef cooking competition is compelling enough without adding an abduction subplot. Naruto and company using their combat techniques to knead noodles is more than enough for me.
  Jared: It absolutely didn’t need the setup of having to save Ayame. If you take that out and the weird fat shaming near the end and instead make this into basically a cooking reality show episode, it would’ve been great. Ninja Chef is a fun and dumb concept and you don’t need to make it so there’s a conflict in order to introduce them or give Naruto and company a reason to go after them. Just have the ramen place sponsor a cooking competition with the Ninja Chefs and split everyone into teams and have at it.
  Kara: I don’t need a reason for Naruto to suddenly become a food reaction anime, and “ninja ramen making” came at least 150 episodes later than I was expecting. Also you know this entire episode came about solely because someone was proud of the “ryo-nin” pun. I was all in until the very end so basically that didn’t exist and Team Nart won, the end.
  Noelle: Just stick to one plotline at a time, Naruto filler. I’d gladly watch a food cooking competition instead of oh no my random daughter is now the crux of an issue. 
  David: I had all but forgotten what the point of the whole competition was until the terrible ‘twist’ at the end, so overall it was entertaining and definitely didn’t need that bit of motivation.
  Carolyn: Ha! You keep hitting my notes on the head with a ginormous hammer. I was very happy to see ramen front and center again.
  Danni: This episode made me want to get ramen, and I can actually go get ramen for lunch as soon as I’m done here, so the episode has justified itself already in my opinion. 
  Kevin: This is the kind of insane setup that I honestly always forget I love about this show. Sure, the dramatic moments can be great and the combat can be downright spectacular, but seeing a team of ninjas use legendary and superhuman techniques to make ramen noodles is just fun. As for the setup itself, I can go either way. Just an in-shop “Naruto tries to help ramen guy make a new recipe” would’ve worked just as much as what the show actually ended up doing.
  (SIDE NOTE: As evidenced below, Danni did indeed go get ramen after this)
    And now it's highs and lows time! What was your favorite aspect of this set of episodes, and what was just the absolute paranormal pits? 
  Paul: My favorite element was how Hoki and the Wandering Ninja claimed to be stealing techniques from other clans, but really they were just using a combination of Genjutsu and sleight of hand to trick people into thinking they had replicated powerful Ninjutsu techniques. I really dug that every visually impressive move turned out to be a dime-store imitation. Honorable mention goes to Naruto hitting noodle dough with a Rasengan. My least favorite bit was “too fat / too skinny” gags at the end of Episode 168, and I wish there were a more elegant way to localize the “aku no recipe” joke as well.
  Jared: Naruto coming up with the idea to just use everyone’s jutsu to make noodles was pretty good. I found it very funny that they titled an episode “The Death of Naruto” in the midst of this filler and expected people to buy that. Low points would be just how easy it was to deduce the twist in Land of Birds and how they kind of ruined the last episode we watched with bad jokes at the end, which they’ve done quite a bit on these one-off episodes.
  Kara: High point was the ramen-making sequence itself, especially Naruto deliberately cheesing Sakura off to get her “cha” on for the dough-pounding. Low point was what came right after. Special honorable mention goes to the ED going from “smol ninja being happy” to “everyone’s a dog now.”
  Noelle: The ramen-making scenes! It’s just fun to see how ninjutsu can work in doing relatively mundane things. Bad side, some of this humor is very deliberately dated. Come on. 
  David: My high point was actually Tenten and Neji getting some much needed screentime, even if it’s in filler. They’re good characters and it reminded me of the Rock Lee spinoff show that I highly recommend if you’re fond of the side characters in Naruto. As seems common, my low point was the very end of the otherwise pretty amusing food episode.
  Carolyn: High point was definitely the Scooby Gang arc. Low point, I’m not sure anything necessarily stands out this time other than generally not being interested in many of the new characters. Also, I was very confused by the dog ED and some of those poses were … interesting. Actually, I take that back, the pig noises were my low point.
  Danni: My high point was most of the Land of Birds arc. It wasn’t spectacular, but it was surprisingly compelling as far as Naruto filler goes. The low point was the sudden cacophony of fat jokes and “women love to diet” jokes shoved into the ramen episode at the end. Ramen’s good, yo. Eat as much as you want. If you’ll excuse me I’m about to go have some now.
  Kevin: 
High - Naruto fighting in a straightjacket. One of the best ways to make fight scenes more interesting is to throw in some new variable for either side to deal with, be it terrain, a handicap or a new powerup or some kind. Seeing Naruto need to fight while essentially being unable to fight back or use jutsu was probably the most engaged I was throughout the majority of the arc.
Low - Chishima in the last act of the arc. He gets hit once or twice by shuriken (thrown by the ninja equivalent of Storm Troopers, given how many they threw at him), and he is so egregiously injured that he’s on a medical bed with IVs giving him blood. Why is he so hurt?! Give him a bandage and maybe some pain killers and he shouldn't be having any problems at all! And if he’s more seriously injured, show it as more than a shoulder cut!
COUNTERS: Bowls of Ramen: 121 bowls “I'm Gonna be Hokage!”: 0 Shadow Clones Created: 26 + 2 uncountable scenes Total so far: Bowls of Ramen: 171 bowls, 9 cups “I'm Gonna be Hokage!”: 55 Shadow Clones Created: 661
And that’s it for this week! Remember that you’re always welcome to watch along with the Rewatch, especially if you’ve never seen the original Naruto! Watch Naruto today!
Here’s our upcoming schedule: - Next week, DANNI WILMOTH gets nautical in the Land of the Seas! - July 12th, JARED CLEMONS leads us to the Hidden Village of Star! - July 18th, JOSEPH LUSTER is back to continue the Star Guard mission!
  CATCH UP ON THE REWATCH!
Episodes 155 - 161: Quickfire Curry
Epsiodes 148 - 154: The Forest is Abuzz With Ninjas
Episodes 141-147: Mizuki Strikes Back!
Episodes 134-140: The Climactic Clash
Episodes 127-133: Naruto vs Sasuke
Episodes 120-126: The Sand Siblings Return
Episodes 113-119: Operation Rescue Sasuke
Episodes 106-112: Sasuke Goes Rogue
Episodes 99-105: Trouble in the Land of Tea
Episodes 92-98: Clash of the Sannin
Episodes 85-91: A Life-Changing Decision
Episodes 78-84: The Fall of a Legend
Episodes 71-77: Sands of Sorrow
Episodes 64-70: Crashing the Chunin Exam
Episodes 57-63: Family Feud
Episodes 50-56: Rock Lee Rally
Episodes 43-49: The Gate
Episodes 36-42: Through the Woods
Episodes 29-35: Sakura Unleashed
Episodes 22-28: Chunin Exams Kickoff
Episodes 15-21: Leaving the Land of Waves
Episodes 8-14: Beginners' Battle
Episodes 1-7: I'm Gonna Be the Hokage!
  Thank you for joining us for the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! Have a great weekend, and we'll see you all next time!
  Have anything to say about our thoughts on Episodes 162-168? Let us know in the comments! Don't forget, we're also accepting questions and comments for next week, so don't be shy and feel free to ask away!
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Joseph Luster is the Games and Web editor at Otaku USA Magazine. You can read his webcomic, BIG DUMB FIGHTING IDIOTS at subhumanzoids. Follow him on Twitter @Moldilox. 
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