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#active listening
artist-issues · 20 hours
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I want to say something about clear communication and objective “listening to understand intended meaning.” But ironically I don’t know if I’ll say it with words that make sense.
Here goes.
When someone says something to you verbally, you take the words they said, the tone they used, the timing, the context of your situation, and all the background knowledge you have of that person in and use that to interpret their meaning. If you’re listening to understand their meaning, instead of listening to hear what you were already looking for before they opened their mouths, but that’s a topic for another post.
Same thing with a book or a movie or even a song (that one’s muddier.) You are supposed to take the words they used, the characters they drew, the facial expressions the actors make, the music timed, and the context you’ve been given, to interpret their meaning. And you’re supposed to do it even more considerately and in even better faith than you would a verbal conversation—because the storyteller isn’t having a spur-of-the-moment chat with you. They took a blank page and agonized and labored over what to create on it, and chose what not to create, to bring you a specific piece of material that was very, very intentional. And beautiful, pleasing, useful, relatable.
There’s a higher level of self-sacrifice in how much a storyteller considered you while communicating (or there should be, and used to be, till storytellers got all “artsy” and started saying idiotic things like “art for art’s sake,” and “you only have to create for yourself,” but again, post for another time.) There should be as much self-sacrifice and willingness to listen to understand intended meaning, even if you don’t like that meaning, in the listener.
Now, here’s what I want to say.
All human communicators, whether it’s your mom on the phone with you verbally or an artist with a painting or a writer and their novel, make communication errors. They say something that’s just a little off, not quite perfectly capturing their “intended meaning.” Then the imperfect human listener also makes mistakes in being objective, even when they’re trying to “listen to understand,” and whatever mistakes-in-communication are there become even more confusing.
BUT.
There is one story and one piece of communication that is 100% perfectly said and perfectly communicates in step with the communicator’s intended meaning. It’s the Bible.
Trusting that this is true about the Bible is it’s own topic. I won’t go into that here. But moving forward on the premise that it is true—
—I was taught exegesis in a book called Grasping God’s Word which is difficult to complete but intensely worth it. Because it will actually not only teach you how to “listen to understand intended meaning” from the ONLY place where that’s of life-or-death importance—but the tools it gives you also would apply to trying to “listen to understand the intended meaning” of all communication.
It puts your brain through exercises specifically intended to work out the muscles that hone what you can know for a fact, about the communicator and reality and how much of that needs to be relevant to interpreting their work, and what you can drop. Plus how to drop your prejudices, your preconceived notions, your experiences, anything that could lead to interpretational error.
It’s necessary to learn those things because if there’s a supreme all-powerful Creator who wants to be in a relationship with you, His creation, and has given you a written Word to explain it all, you better understand what He’s really saying, not just “what you think He might be saying.” If it weren’t so urgent and so necessary to learn how to listen to God with the intent to understand, you know what we’d do?
We’d start saying things like, “well, that’s just your interpretation.” And “there’s no right or wrong.” And “that’s true for you, not true for me.” And then suddenly nobody can communicate anything, because we’re not just applying that “it’s unimportant what the Author meant” to God. We’re applying it to all communicators. Suddenly all that matters is you, you, you. How do you interpret it? What makes it meaningful to you? Nevermind what was actually said—how do you feel about it?
And suddenly, fandom culture.
Basically what I’m saying is, if you study Biblical exegesis, you solve your illiteracy problem. After all, He kind of invented words, communication and listening.
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ash-says · 1 month
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Listening techniques:
Step up girlies today we are learning Active Listening to better understand the people around us and improve ourselves.
Pay Attention:
To be an active listener you have to pay attention to what the speaker is saying. Make sure you are not distracted by the surroundings, preparing a mental note of other things, etc. Look directly at the speaker and take note of his body language to better gauge what he is trying to convey.
Make them feel heard:
Try to engage yourself in the conversation by nodding occasionally or giving inputs where required. Make sure to incorporate facial expressions and your posture should be open and interested.
Feedback:
We all are bounded by our judgements, realities and preconceptions. While listening make sure to summarize the points to better understand what the speaker is trying to convey. Don’t be afraid to ask questions wherever required to clarify the points accurately.
Interruption is a big no:
Imagine you are speaking and a person keeps on interrupting you again and again. Frustrating, isn’t it? Exactly the same way when someone is speaking make sure not to interrupt them. As it is rude and spoils the entire purpose of active listening.
Respond properly:
Make a mental note that active listening is designed for understanding the speaker’s perspective. Do not attack the speaker by counterarguments or by putting them down. Treat them with kindness and respect. Assert your opinions respectfully. Try to gain as much information as you can rather than arguing.
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michaelbogild · 2 years
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I guarantee your soul is telling you exactly what you should be doing.  The question is whether or not you’re listening.
Mel Robbins
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kiindr · 1 year
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making someone feel heard:
validate their emotions and experiences ("i can imagine how hard it must've been for you")
try to not assume things and ask for clarification if you're in doubt ("so XYZ happened, did i get that right?")
listen to respond and not react
try identifying the emotion they're feeling ("it seems like you're frustrated right now", "it looks like you feel really sad")
do NOT offer advice/suggestions unless asked for
tell them how awesome they are for being so courageous and opening up to someone about it
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stoicmike · 8 months
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Something terrible has happened to our ears and listening has become impossible. -- Michael Lipsey
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emmaliee · 5 days
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Importance of Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the bedrock of healthy and thriving relationships, serving as the glue that binds partners together through the highs and lows of life's journey. Individuals with a high level of emotional intelligence possess the ability to recognize and understand their own emotions as well as those of their partners, laying the groundwork for empathetic communication and mutual support. This awareness enables them to navigate conflicts with poise and compassion, fostering an environment of trust and respect where both parties feel valued and understood.
Furthermore, emotional intelligence equips individuals with the tools to cultivate intimacy and connection in their relationships. By demonstrating empathy, active listening, and emotional attunement, partners can foster deeper understanding and closeness with one another. This heightened emotional awareness allows couples to celebrate each other's successes, provide comfort during times of distress, and navigate life's challenges as a unified team. Ultimately, investing in the development of emotional intelligence within a relationship fosters a bond that grows stronger over time, enriching the shared experiences and deepening the love and connection between partners.
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pratchettquotes · 1 year
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There was something creepy about that boy, Nhumrod thought. It was the way he looked at you when you were talking, as if he was listening.
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
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ashersskye · 3 months
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"oh they're just doing it for attention" GIVE THEM THE FUCKING ATTENTION??????? TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM AND THAT YOURE HERE TO LISTEN TO THEIR PAIN?????? LET THEM KNOW YOU SEE THEM STRUGGLING RIGHT NOW????? ASK THEM IF THEYRE OKAY AND IF THEY NEED ANYTHING AND HOW YOU CAN HELP AND IF THEY WANT A HUG AND POSSIBLY A SNACK TOO??????? TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER RATHER THAN SHAMING PEOPLE FOR BEING NEGLECTED AND NOT KNOWING HOW TO ASK FOR HELP?????
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awetistic-things · 1 year
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see now THIS type of active listening makes sense, not that "make eye contact, voice sounds of agreement, nod your head a lot" bullshit
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strangerphilosopher · 10 months
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LISTENING
A way to improve your human interactions.
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Okay picture this, (X, Y, Z and M) are sitting in a room discussing some random topic. X starts quoting facts and Y interrupts in between stating how he disagrees. Z then asks Y to be calm and let X complete his statement first.
Let's analyse them one by one: When Y interrupted, he passed on a sentiment that he doesn't care about X (which might not be the case) which will make X to be more reserved in front of Y in future.
M is sitting silently listening to whatever each one of them has to convey and isn't rushing to present his views even if he disagrees.
Now take Z into consideration, he's a listener and also someone who observed that X should be allowed to make his point first and it was wrong of Y to jump in between.
If you want to be one of these people, NEVER be Y, be M(he listened) - people will want to be around you. And if you can be Z, you'll be admired by people as you know the art of not only listening but also know how to make people comfortable.
Everyone loves to be listened, to be valued but we pay very less attention when it comes to listening to others. Stopping yourself from reacting to every statement in a conversation is a difficult task but can be achieved if worked upon constantly.
Now you may ask why to listen to other people? Well, it's a simple solution to improve each and every kind of relationship you experience around you be it with your friends, family, partner, education or business. ( you may have experienced that people who have issues with their family often complain that their parents never listen to them, hence proved)
To be an active listener, you need to be patient and to be patient you need to listen to yourself first. "Listening to others is not only an act of kindness but also a gift to yourself" - Carl Rogers (psychologist)
So the next time someone talks to you, don't start narrating about the time you experienced something similar, just shut up and listen to that person. Believe me, this works wonders.
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jakedailyart · 7 months
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The Path to a Healthy Relationship: Essential Guidelines for Nurturing a Loving Connection
Love, with all its complexities and subtleties, is an ever-evolving journey that requires continuous nurturing and understanding. The foundation of a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, open communication, and a commitment to growing together. Here are some essential guidelines to help you nurture a strong and loving connection:
1. Practice Open and Honest Communication
Candid communication is vital for building trust and understanding in a relationship. Be willing to express your emotions, needs, and concerns openly, and encourage your partner to do the same. A willingness to be vulnerable can deepen your connection.
2. Be an Active Listener
Listen attentively to your partner's thoughts and feelings without judgment or interruption. Validate their emotions, offer support, and demonstrate that their words and experiences matter to you.
3. Embrace Compromise
Differences are a natural part of any relationship. Instead of allowing conflicts to create a divide, seek mutually acceptable compromises that reflect the needs and perspectives of both partners.
4. Value Individuality
While a shared life is a beautiful aspect of a relationship, it's equally important to embrace and celebrate your individual identities. Encourage one another to pursue personal interests and passions and to grow as individuals.
5. Keep the Flame of Romance Alive
Intimacy and romance play a key role in maintaining a strong connection. Surprise your partner with a heartfelt gesture, plan a romantic date, or simply spend quality time together enjoying each other's company.
6. Cultivate Trust
Trust is the cornerstone of a stable and fulfilling relationship. Be transparent, reliable, and true to your word. Address any concerns that may arise with understanding and empathy, and avoid behaviors that may erode trust.
7. Speak Their Love Language
Understanding and expressing love in a way that resonates with your partner can deepen your emotional bond. Learn their love language—be it acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, or receiving gifts—and make an effort to show your love in a way that speaks to their heart.
8. Grow Together
Life is full of changes and challenges. Embrace them as opportunities to learn and grow together. Support each other through life's ups and downs and adapt to new circumstances with grace and empathy.
9. Seek Support When Needed
It's okay to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals if you're facing challenges in your relationship. Couples counseling can provide valuable insights and tools to help you navigate and overcome obstacles together.
10. Cherish the Small Moments
The beauty of a relationship often lies in the simple, everyday moments. Whether it's a smile exchanged over a cup of coffee, a heartfelt conversation, or a shared laugh, cherish these moments and the love they represent.
A healthy and loving relationship is a partnership that requires continuous effort and mutual respect. Remember that love is a journey, and it's the small acts of kindness, understanding, and love that create a lasting and fulfilling connection. Embrace the process and enjoy the journey together.
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perfectionblows · 8 days
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https://x.com/scorpiho666/status/1770630502380183885?s=46&t=Xf-2MdEPT5olPhMyGtoHEw
There’s something really beautiful and endearing about characters who still connect with their audience in a genuine and interactive way. Steve’s patience and ability to wait for responses without interrupting or but utilizing body language to engage with the viewer has taught a generation of people (imo) how to be an active listener. It’s not instant and it commands attention in a way that’s not threatening. Idk I’m just saying shit.
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Reason to Live #8096
  Remaining silent in order to be a better listener instead of reacting emotionally. – Guest Submission
(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)
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kiindr · 6 months
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with every passing day, i realize even more how active listening is a skill and not everybody puts enough effort into just listening and being there.
you do not need to be a therapist to provide basic psychological and emotional support to people.
listen.
it saves lives.
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moomoocowmaid · 28 days
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On track for 10k minutes of music per month in 2024 🤞🤞🤞
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A must listen
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