#accidentally possess a bunch of people untill I found my body

[pegakitty]

you want xehanort lore? here is my best attempt based on what i know. i havent beaten the game where time travel got involved so this is uh. before things got too bad

so xehanort was a keyblade master who was training this kid ventus. then one day he felt a bit silly and wanted to restart a war for science so he stabbed a child to split his heart into two halves (ventus, pure light, and vanitas, pure dark) and then gave ventus (actively dying because of having his heart you know. ripped in half) to his old pal eraqus to deal with and kept vanitas. his GOAL was that vanitas and ventus would eventually fight and somehow form this old weapon called the x-blade (not to be confused with the keyblade despite being pronounced the same) because something something it forms when equal light and dark powers clash i think? idk. anyways i literally have no clue what happened at the end of bbs because i wasnt paying attention but iirc that plan only semi worked and ventus ended up in a fucking coma for 10 years. in the meantime i think xehanort was uh. i feel like his goal was immortality but i could be mixing him up with william afton. anyways he norted a boy. that boy was terra. basically he just possessed him. so theres terranort now. then aqua i think beat him up then dropped him off in radiant garden before going to the void

terranort then took a quick detour to get a phd in unethical science with notoriously totally definitely not the worst character ever ansem the wise. he learned about how to release peoples hearts and then uh. idr how this happened exactly BUT HE DID IT TO HIMSELF AND MAYBE CONVINCED ANSEM TW's OTHER APPRENTICES TO DO IT TOO????? anyways so oops! he now has split himself in half. not the same way he split ventus in half though he split himself in half in like a normal way, aka into a heartless and a nobody

tldr explanation for heartless and nobodies, heartless are peoples hearts that have succumbed to darkness and nobodies are the body they leave behind. if you have a strong will, your nobody is basically just a kinda funky copy of yourself without a heart. also if you choose to succumb to darkness instead of being overtaken by it, then you remain sentient as a heartless <-(this is also why sora was a very polite heartless, since he released his own heart). xehanort filled both of those conditions, so his heartless was ansem seeker of darkness and his nobody was xemnas. neither of them are ansem in any way shape or form and i genuinely cannot remember if there was a reason for him naming himself after ansem besides spite.

anyways. xemnas goes on to form a cult of nobodies with the other 5 apprentices that lost their hearts and a handful of other people he found. meanwhile, ansem sod is hanging out on the island sora and riku live on and is being weird to children. riku is feeling a bit silly and also jealous that his crush doesnt need him and so he accidentally destroys his home and starts hanging out with the demons. ansem sod decides that it would be really funny to possess this kid and so he tells riku that the darkness holds the secrets to free robux if he just succumbs to it. unfortunately no free robux awaits riku and ansem sod norts his second boy. its fine though, sora got exorcised him and then killed him with the power of friendship.

meanwhile, xemnas' cult is thriving. until it isnt. sora killed like half their members then tripped and fell so hard that he got amnesia and now hes in a coma while namine tries to fix him. theyve recruited soras nobody, this weird quiet kid named roxas, to go kill a bunch of heartless with the goal of completing kingdom hearts. what is kingdom hearts? great question im not sure. its like this big heart moon / the heart of all worlds? idk its where hearts go when theyre not heartless. xemnas tells his cult that completing kingdom hearts will give them all back their hearts and so they all are going along with it because they want their hearts back. except roxas who doesnt really care about this whole humanity thing but hes being bribed to stay with ice cream. but soon not even ice cream is enough to get him to stay. roxas decides to go out and find himself (literally!) and then immediately gets kidnapped by riku who is sad that his boyfriend is in a coma and snatched roxas to bring back to ansemtw so they could wake sora up. roxas then dies tragically. goodbye roxas!

sora then goes on to kill pretty much the rest of their members (except for axel who kills himself) and then tells xemnas to go die and then he and riku kill him with the power of... friendship........ totally just friendship

and then i stopped paying attention! hope this helps :>>

holy fucking shit, you really went above and beyond for this and I really must thank you more than just typing "thank you" here. THIS IS SO CRAZY!!! I'm fucking cackling over the robux bit too, that was brilliantly placed. I know NOTHING of kingdom hearts, but now I know...this guy! kinda! Again thank you, holy shit, I hope you have a wonderful rest of the day!

#asks #seriously this is insaaaane

[mayasaura]

Alecto, The River, and Colum Asht

I’ve been working on a few different Harrow the Ninth meta theories, and I noticed some threads that seemed to pull them together. Maybe you could call this another megatheorum, but I’m not sure it’s comprehensive enough for that.

I think whatever kind of monster Alecto is, the clues we need to guess are in salt water and the death of Colum Asht.

Salt water leads us to the River. @ovrgrwn @sauntering-vaguely-downwards ​ and I were talking about the symbolism of salt water in the series, and Ovrgrwn mentioned both that Alecto is a “saltwater creature” and that the River isn’t salt water. The thing is, I realised later that the River is salt water.

One of the biggest puzzles we were left with pieces of in Harrow the Ninth was "What is Alecto?". She's been called a lot of things, but we know very little abit definitively. There’s a theory that I was discussing with @thunderon and @asimovsideburns that Alecto is something like a Resurrection Beast, in that she and Harrow are both communal souls forged through human sacrifice. There’s a theory that maybe she was someone else before the Resurrection and in trying to pull her soul back John accidentally got a whole bunch of souls instead. Or she could literally be Alecto the First the way Harrow is an entire generation of the Ninth, with every soul that used to inhabit the world of the First packed into her body. I like all these theories—it feels like we’re on the right track, but also like we’re missing something. This by itself doesn’t seem like it would be so viscerally terrifying to Augustine and Mercy, who were present for the creation of Teacher and the revenant constructs in Caanan House. If she’s an overstuffed suitcase of ten billion souls, why is she a saltwater creature? Why does Teacher call her tomb a zoo, and why are her eyes Like That?

[Image: It came down around her in shreds, as light and insubstantial as drifts of spiderweb. The water sprayed through white holes, rushing in with a pounding roar: that brackish, bloodied water that only existed within the River. She was bouyed up by a spray of ice water and filth - but she wasn’t; she seemed to be walking down her long black corridor again-]

In chapter 53 when Harrow tears her way out of the bubble of the false Canaan House, the River is described as “brackish, bloodied water”. Brackish water is the water that’s found at the place where a river meets a sea; too salty to drink, but not as salty as sea water. The River is brackish salt water, and Alecto is a saltwater creature.

Brackish water is mentioned only one other time in either book.

[Image: She appeared behind the grey-thing-that-had-been-Colum. She took its twisted neck in her hands as calmly and easily as though it were an animal, and she tilted it. The neck snapped. Her fingertips dipped inside the skin; the eye-mouths shrilled, and the tongue around Gideon’s neck flopped away, and both those mouths dissolved into brackish fluid. The body dropped to the floor—]

When Colum Asht dies in chapter 34 of Gideon the Ninth, a brackish fluid runs out of his eye sockets. Whatever creature was inside Colum, it came from the River. And then there’s the description - it’s too long and spread out to quote in full here, but the details are that his eyes went liquid black, and he moved “like there were six people inside him, and none of those six people had ever been inside a human being before”. There are lights under Colum’s skin and things pushing and slithering along his muscles as he walks. When he opens his eyes again, they’re toothed mouths with tongues, and Colum’s tongue has become long and prehensile and it wraps around Gideon’s neck like a tentacle.

The stoma at the bottom of the the River, the mouths to Hell that only open for Resurrection Beasts and the Emperor, are described like this:

[Image: It was a huge, hideous, dark expanse, and it had seething, weird edges; it took the lights pattering over them for me to see that the edges of the hole were enormous human teeth. Each one must’ve been six bodies high and two bodies wide, with the dainty scalloped edges of incisors. The teeth shivered and trembled, like the hole was slavering. And that hole had nothing in it; that hole was blacker than space, that hole was an eaten-away tunnel of reality.]

[Image: Streamerlike lingual tentacles emerged—the unassuming pink you got on normal, non-Hell-bound tongues—easily a thousand of them, jostling, questing, blindly thrusting up out of that mouth. Pyrrha flinched.]

Colum’s eyes have become miniature stoma. It’s interesting that while the thing possessing Colum advances on and kills Silas first, the stoma don’t open until Gideon attacks it. It uses Colum’s sword to kill Silas, but draws Gideon in with its tongue, like the tongues from the stoma at the bottom of the River draw her father the Emperor and Augustine in. But that’s another meta post.

Perhaps the stoma are creatures, sentient hellmouths lurking at the bottom of the River, and it’s stoma that are possessing Colum the Eighth. Maybe it’s the river itself possessing Colum, and the lights under his skin are souls. Maybe it’s something from beyond the stoma, something that came out of Hell. It’s an important question, but not one I have an answer to right now. I am confident in the connection between the stoma and the Eighth House. In chapter 36 of HtN Augustine accuses Mercy of not taking the stoma seriously “which is why your whole damned House sucks at it like a grotesque teat-”. Mercy’s House is the Eighth House, so whatever the metaphysical effect of siphoning is, it presumably involves the stoma. What interests me most about Colum’s transformation for now is that his eyes went full liquid black, and that he was possessed by a creature that left salt water behind it.

Still with me? Now we tie it all together with Alecto’s eyes, the eyes currently in the face of God, the Emperor of the Nine Houses. Like the possessed Colum, their sclera are black. Unlike Colum, their eyes have irises and pupils. The irises are “dark and leadenly iridescent - a deep rainbow oil slick, ringed with white.” Even before I had any idea about Alecto, I wondered what sort of soul the God who was once a man had consumed to have eyes like that. The way Ianthe’s eye colors swirled and merged when Naberius was fighting her, I wondered if his dark iridescent irises were the colors of ten billion souls swirling together, but that wouldn’t explain the black sclera. Now I think the Resurrection Beasts, the stoma, and these theories about Alecto are offering an explanation.

Perhaps Alecto is an enormous collection of human souls, like in our theories, but she is not only human souls. Whatever was possessing Colum Asht is also a part of Alecto. The black sclera she gets from the River, and the iridescent irises she gets from thousands or millions or billions of human souls. Depending on how you interpret what possessed Colum, that could mean a few different things. Maybe she's a human stoma, a human soul merged with the mouth of hell. Maybe she's a tributary or avatar of the River, and the power of all of history's death runs through her. Maybe she's partially comprised of a creature from the incomprehensible chaos of Hell.

The stoma option seems like the most likely to me, to explain the fear and disgust that Mercy and Augustine feel toward Alecto. An avatar of the River is terrifying, but also awesome. That's not the right vibe for 'put that thing down before it hurts one of us'. It was implied in the conversation about Hell and the stoma at the end of chapter 36 that nothing had ever been observed coming through the other way, and it's plainly stated by the Emperor that nothing which goes in has ever come back. If Mercy and Augustine were aware that part of Alecto was from Hell, I would expect it to be hinted at in that scene, and it wasn't really. I did notice that Augustine is more scared of Alecto than Mercy. When Mercy thought Alecto had come to kill her, she spoke to her. When Augustine thought he had seen Alecto, he turned and ran. Maybe Mercy is just braver in general, but Mercy is also less afraid of the stoma than Augustine.

As a closing note, evoking the stoma or what might lie beyond it would explain the only line in Annabel Lee as a metaphor for Alecto that puzzles me.

And neither the angels in heaven above,

  Nor the demons down under the sea,

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

  Of the beautiful Annabel Lee

#the locked tomb #tlt meta #alecto the first #alecto the ninth #harrow the ninth #htn spoilers #tlt spoilers

[slytherinsnekxvii]

hi, remember that murder snily au i'm always talking abt but never have anything to show for? yeah, i've scrapped it like six times now and i finally have a version of it i'm marginally satisfied with. so, here you go, this is the first part of maybe three or four, i think? have fun:

anger

/ˈaŋɡə/

noun

noun: anger; plural noun: angers

1. Normal anger does not split open one's ribcage and wind itself around their heart. Normal anger does not coat itself in venom and sit behind one's teeth and hide under their tongue and lie patiently in wait. Normal anger is not cold and slow and remorseless. Lily thinks that what she calls anger is normal. Lily does not realise that she is extraordinary.

Lily's brand of anger is decidedly... different. What, exactly, makes it so different isn't exactly obvious to her, but she knows that it's not like anyone else's. At least, not as far as she's aware. Hers is a cold sort of anger, an all-encompassing thing that bites and burns and hurts. It's patient, too, winding in and around her ribcage and clawing its way upwards to settle behind her teeth, waiting for a reason to show itself. It's protective, aiming to eliminate a threat before it has a chance to do further damage.

She's... aware of her anger. Not very much so, but it's seen the light of day often enough to be familiar to her. She doesn't know it, though, hasn't made herself properly acquainted with the more... unfortunate spectrum of her emotions, and that is what makes it truly dangerous.

When she feels something scratching at her insides and festering beneath a vindictive sort of justice at seeing Black and Potter and Lupin and Pettigrew suffer the displeasure of the Slytherins, she thinks it's anger. She finds herself in a dusty, unused classroom in the dungeons, helping to refine a brutal spell designed to rend the flesh of anyone unlucky enough to be on the wrong end of it and she thinks it's anger that curls around her and whispers into her ear, "Make sure it hurts."

It isn't. She calls it anger, claims it a necessity, insists that she's protecting her best friend, but she doesn't realise she's mistaken.

The story of the "Prank" gets out—doctored, of course, to keep Black out of Azkaban, and Lupin away from execution—and Lily titters into the back of her hand when she hears it told in bits and pieces throughout the corridors.

"Did you hear?"

"Who would've thought—"

"—bloody idiots went into the Forest! At night! What kind of—"

"—ll five of them, yeah. Can't figure out for the life of me how they managed to get Snape to go—"

"—must've dragged 'im kicking an' screamin', I'm telling y—"

"—Gryffindors, my left tit! Damn cowards just ran off and left Lupin and Snape to deal with—"

"—no clue what happened, but have you seen the scars?"

"—out of the Hospital Wing, already? How—"

"—down fifty points! All because that lot wanted to play jokes aga—"

She smiles, a tiny, smug thing that she doesn't notice, and moves on. The Slytherins are properly riled up now, Rosier and Mulciber and Wilkes and Avery hovering around her and Severus with expressions she can't describe as anything but sadistic. At some point, she realises that their presence makes her feel much less uncomfortable than it did a week ago. She doesn't dwell on it, ignoring the small part of her that worries and shivers in favour of leaning over Severus's shoulder to read about the sort of magic that appears in nightmares.

She grips her wand, idly twirling the twelve-and-a-half inches of willow and dragon heartstring as she skims over detailings of ancient, arcane magic. It's always about blood, she thinks, staring a diagram of a pricked finger dripping red into a cauldron. Potion for Transferring Magic from One Wizard to Another, the heading proclaims. She shakes her head, accidentally knocking into Severus's in the process. "Ow."

He winces a little, and then tells her, "I'm turning the page."

She hums, eyes glued to a book she wouldn't dare look at not even a week ago, and says, "Okay."

It's fascinating, Lily has to admit. Gruesome in some cases and horrific in others, yes, but there's something... mesmerising about it, something hideously captivating in the way that the diagrams seem to eagerly demonstrate their attached spells. On the page, a young wizard is neatly flayed alive, the entire process precise. Her stomach rolls, but Lily can't seem to tear her gaze away for even a second. She doesn't think about it.

She doesn't think about a lot of things, actually, staunchly refusing to acknowledge the way she finds herself drawn away from her Housemates and friends, instead choosing to orbit around her best friend and the seemingly endless rotation of Dark Arts tomes he's somehow gotten his hands on.

Mary's sick of her excuses, she knows, responding to every one with a nod and an, "Oh, alright, then," in that tone that lands somewhere in the middle of disappointment, exasperation and concern.

Marlene has given up entirely, the whole of their interactions reduced to simple greetings in the hall and nods when they pass each other between classes.

Dorcas is nice about it, still catching her arm on the way to breakfast, still offering to study with her when they're all together in the Common and she doesn't want anyone to feel left out. It's undeniable, though, that her smile isn't near as warm as it used to be and it's tinged with worry at the corners.

No one makes it a secret of what they think about her recent activities. And as for the company she's keeping? Well, they'd always been particularly vocal about that.

Things must come to a head eventually, and they do, not even ten minutes after Professor Sprout has dismissed them from the classroom on Wednesday afternoon. She hears the whispers first, half of them from students she doesn't even know, has never said a word to.

"—conspiring with snakes—"

"—think it's the first time I've heard of a Gryff going Dark—"

"—ck was right about her, she's got no—"

Something ugly twists in her chest, and she forces her feet to turn and move, one step after the other. She can make it to the Common Room reasonably quickly, she thinks, and then she catches the self-proclaimed Marauders outside the Great Hall. Or rather, they catch her.

"You can do better than a bunch of slimy snakes, Evans," Potter crows, and she stops dead in her tracks. "Why bother with them when you've got a fine piece of Gryffindor right here?"

"Get lost," she says, the words ground flat between grit teeth.

Potter does not get lost. "Come on, Evans," he continues. "You're not acting like a proper Gryffindor. Where's your House loyalty? I can guarantee that chivalry and bravery are much better than whatever they're offering." It sounds... like a taunt, and this is when Lily realises that what she's been feeling isn't anger.

"Chivalry? Bravery? What would you know about any of that? It's not very chivalrous to corner students four-to-one, now, is it?" She hisses her words, each one more scathing than the last, and as she spits them out, every last one dripping venom, she realises that she wants it to hurt. "And it certainly doesn't seem brave to leave behind someone who needs help because you got cold feet! I'm not a proper Gryffindor? No, I think you've got it wrong, James. If you want to see an improper Gryffindor, the whole lot of you can go right ahead and look in a bloody mirror! I will not be talked down to by the likes of spiteful little cowards like you! I'm more Gryffindor than all four of you put together, but if you're what our House is supposed to look like, then I want nothing to do with it!"

Her ears are ringing when she's done, the whole world narrowed down to one singular focal point, the group of boys headed by the one who'd been desperate to get her attention and regrets it now that he has it. She looks at each of them in turn, summoning a contempt she didn't know she possessed until now. "Save your breath," she snaps, when Black's jaw unlocks, and she turns around and walks away.

Something slots into the place at the back of her mind, and she thinks, oh, her fingers itching to wrap themselves around her wand and whisper the words that will turn them inside out, call the blood from their pores and make it sing. Something clicks, when she thinks about she felt just then, and she can tell the difference quite clearly, very easily, between pure, white-hot, blinding rage and what she's been calling anger. She doesn't know what it really is, and she doesn't want to. She doesn't think about it, either, simply pushes the entire realisation to the back of her head and thinks, oh.

It changes... very little. Something inside of her has changed, and she finds herself growing steadily more unbothered by the voice in her that tells her about old, forbidden magicks of the body and the mind and the blood. It's always about blood.

She doesn't bother reading over Severus's shoulder anymore, the two of them scribbling notes as the pages flip on their own once they've both finished reading.

What does change things is when Rosier corners her after Defence one day, a sealed envelope held in his hand.

"What's this?" Lily asks, eyeing the pristine letter suspiciously. She might get along with the Slytherins much better now—especially after the incident with the Marauders that Rosier had found particularly amusing—but she can't say she truly trusts them.

"An invitation," he says, and before she can speak, he continues. "Every rule has its exceptions. We'd thought there was only room for one Mudblood prodigy, but it looks like there's space for two."

"Don't call me that," she bites, and he waves the envelope at her.

"Think about it. As it stands now, men like Potter and Dumbledore are holding too many of the cards. Men who would let people die and then cover it up to save their own hides. Don't you want to see them get what's coming to them?"

"There's no difference between you and them," she says.

"Isn't there? We've never claimed to be good."

She stares at him, silent.

"It's a new age, Evans. Don't you want to change the world?" he asks.

She takes the envelope.

anyways, i hope you enjoyed that! thanks for reading :)

#fic #murder snily au #severus snape #lily evans #harry potter fanfiction #darkfic #i mean not yet but it will be #anyways #that took wayyy too long #it took me so long to get to this point it's not even funny anymore #but i'm glad i did #getting my shit together seems likw a pretty solid birthday present to myself i think #snily #anyways bye for now #also i have the same birthday as draco malfoy and i found that put via tiktok #gotta love it

[dystopiandilfs]

So people have been finding my posts that are critical of both Karl and Tales. Mostly me saying how the worst part of Tales is the storyline (or lack of it) which is the only part Karl's involved in which then turned into people saying getting mad at my opinion with the same comeback of "you probably couldn't write a storyline half as good" so here's my Tales idea.

For context my two favourite storylines are Egg and Dreamons so obviously it's heavily based on that it's going to include me own headcanons and theories on a bunch of things (mainly Dream)

The whole idea is that "season 2" of Tales has one coherent storyline including two main plots (Dreamon and Egg) instead of just a bunch of shorter stories. So the main thing is that each episode is Karl opening up a new book from the library that he starts in and each episode is based on what the book he opens is about. So for example the first book/episode is showing an future event (not shown if it's DreamSMP timeline or alternate) but it's where the Egg has hatched and the after effects of it. The second episode is a past event showing the creation origins of the Egg. How it was created and what happened. Etc and after a bunch of episodes the final book is the origins of the library Karl started in.

Season 2 isn't a direct link to season 1 but the final episode will include references and characters to the episodes and other episodes might make references to Mizu and The Village that went mad.

THE FIRST EPISODE

It's an alternate reality where the Egg hatched and out of it came a group of Dreamons and the world and time that Karl lands in is what happened after the Dreamons took over. For reference Dreamons are ghost like creatures but can't cause any harm and are useless until they possess someone. So as floating spirits they can only watch bit in a person that's when they can do damage. They also can't enter the nether as entering the portal is like an automatic body expulsion/exorcism. Basically the idea was that Karl didn't know it was an alternate universe but just thought he jumped into the future of after the egg hatched because all he saw was the bodies of the entire DreamSMP and the vines all over everything and everyone. The only people to have survived was Niki and Jack who were hidden in her underground city underneath Kinoko, Dream, Sam and Techno as they were inside the prison and Phil and Foolish were the only bodies not found meaning that they could be alive. Niki and Jack survived because when the egg hatched Jack ran to Niki and they both fled to the nether to hopeful safety. They have the added quality of both being sent to hell (Jack from losing his canon lives and Niki because of DreamXD) which is why they can survive in the nether for so long. When they returned to the overworld they managed to hide and stay hidden from the Egg as it detects living organisms and since they'd both been to hell they're considered dead by Dreamon standards. Once a body has been to hell it becomes useless and can't be possessed making them useless and undetectable. Dream, Techno and Sam were all hidden in the prison which has two entrances, through the nether portal which Dreamons can't enter or by breaking in which would take a while because of the mining fatigue and multiple obsidian layers and the lava incasing the prison cell.

THE SECOND EPISODE

Have Foolish, Herobrine(Eret) and DreamXD be there. Since it's a thing they could also have alternate versions of Sapnap and Quackity as like warriors that helped to retrieve rare items. It's a secret underground bunker that contains a laboratory in which a black egg with blue and purple veins is kept and being examined. DreamXD just got it from killing the mysterious Purple Dragon (Ender Milf) What happens is that they also recently found and stored an egg found by Eret and one of Ponk's ancestors in the Nether and within that egg is a long extinct magical creature making the egg one of a kind. The Nether egg recently started to crack slightly so was moved into a incubation chamber along with the Ender Dragon egg as that had also began to crack open. Because they're both in close proximity and completely closed in together from anything else the nether egg absorbs the energy of the Dragon's egg which is how the creation of the Eggpire Egg started. That original egg hatched and within it was a small greenish dragon like creature that DreamXD named Dreamon (Dream(XD, Drag)on). The Dragon grew and grew until it got out of control and had to be killed only for them to realise that it was killed in the portal room and it's spirit escaped into the nether and the dead body of a dragon lay on the floor.

(I haven't written any others yet other than the first two episodes and the final one so just ignore that)

THE FINAL EPISODE

Karl goes to open the final book and is once again sent back into a past event and it's him watching DreamXD and a bunch of past characters ghosts making plans on how to hide all the information regarding the Egg and Dreamons so it can't be found and destroyed by the EggPire or Dreamons. A bunch of other informative shit happens and a lot of cool past references are made then finally It shows the location of the library (Karl appeared in it and never could exit so he didn't know where it was hidden) It's revealed that it's hidden in a place that looks identical to Dream's secret Bunker where he kept the discs apart from that obviously Dream's bunker is there instead of the library which is how and where the greater story begins. The end of the episode is Karl going to Dream's secret Bunker and him starting to remove the walls and discovering a bunch of portals (same as from the second episode. Also it's in the exact same place, the same bunker and everything so the Library and hidden bunker from episode 2 are both in the same place as Dream's bunker on the SMP) that are all labelled including but not limited to an activated End Portal, A white portal and a black portal which are labelled as The Inbetween and The Other Side and portals to each past Tales episode including Mizu, The western one etc. As he continues to look around Karl finds a piece of paper that was clearly thrown into the corner, he opens it to find a note that someone had written to Dream that's dated to before the L'Manberg war and Eret's betrayal. The note is basically someone warning Dream that he needs to stop exploring and going into random portals because they're not safe and he doesn't know what effect it has on him. Karl then finds a desk with a half written note from Dream that basically says that he no longer feels in control of himself and that he should have listened to what the person who wrote the other note had said and how he fears that he accidentally did something bad and at the bottom of the note is a warning about not opening up the loud portal in the back. Karl starts to look for the portal in the back and it's just labelled ????? Behind the portal he notices a book, it's identical to the ones in the library that every other Tales episode was from. He opens the book expecting to be transported to another time only for it to be a normal none magical book so Karl starts to read it and discovers that the ???? Portal being opened and entered is what kick started the appearance of multiple versions of Dream, the awakening of DreamXD, the start of people having dream related issues like Niki's night terrors, George's long sleeps accompanied by insane dreams, Fundys future dreams etc. As Karl flicks to the next page a bright light emits from the book and the final episode ends.

#mcyt #dreamwastaken #dream smp #dreamsmp #georgenotfound #sapnap #quackity #karl jacobs #tales from the smp #im back on my dreamon bullshit #dreamon and egg my beloved #long post #eggpire #tftsmp

[ttalksshit]

Jennifer's Body (2009)

IMDb

As you may have guessed by my profile pic, I really like this movie.

♡Brief rundown♡

Following main characters, best friends Anita "Needy" Lesnicky (Amanda Seyfried) and Jennifer Check (Megan Fox), Jennifer's Body takes place in a small Minnesota town named Devil's Kettle. On one fateful night, Jennifer takes Needy to their towns local bar to watch a "salty" rock band from the city. This rock band, named Low Shoulder, is unfortunately a bunch of fucking assholes, drugging Jennifer under the impression she is a virgin and "accidentally" causing a fire in the bar. Taking advantage of the chaos caused, the band takes Jennifer away in their WhiteVan™️ down to the waterfall for which their town is named. It is there that she is sacrificed by the band to Satan in exchange for fame, however something in the ritual goes very wrong. Jennifer is in fact not a virgin. This vital factor is what sets the course of the rest of the movie. As a demon possesses her body, Jennifer must feed on human flesh to sustain herself, hunting primarily men including Needy's boyfriend Chip Dove (Johnny Simmons).

♡Personal thoughts♡

I love this movie so much (even if I'm not happy about emo boys fate). The first time I watched it was with my best friends on here.fm (great site, 10/10 recommend) during my citys COVID-19 lock-down. For this reason alone, it holds much value to me as it was a source of closeness between myself and my friends during a time when physical closeness was dangerous. But beyond that, I love it for how camp it is. It is genuinely such an entertaining and unrealistic movie that can be appreciated for that aspect alone. It is also only 1hr 42mins long, which I find to be a good runtime for movies as it provides enough time to tell an eventful story without losing the attention of the audience. However, beyond all these aspects, I found it provided great commentary too.

SPOILERS AHEAD !!!

BRIEF NSFW AHEAD !!!

I personally interpret Jennifer's Body to be a criticism on heteronormativity and how it manifests in young sapphics as comp-het (compulsory heterosexuality). This is barely an original or hot take. Right off the bat, Jennifer being a demon could be allusion to the church which most people use to justify their homophobia, preaching how it's "sinful". The tension between Jennifer and Needy is also quite undeniable. We first see this as part of the opening montage depicting Needy focusing very intently on Jennifer performing a cheer routine. It is in this scene that voice-over Needy introduces the two of them as BestFriends™️, whilst the visuals suggest otherwise. This implies that their relationship is clear to everyone else except for themselves, particularly Needy. Either that or she's allowing her own eyes to deceive her, a theme explored later on in the film.

The second obvious display of mutual pining between the girls comes in the scene at their local bar. As they watch the shitty rock band perform, Jennifer reaches her hand out for Needy to hold. The pair hold hands and Needy appears blissful, until probably remembering she is "straight" and has a boyfriend, thus prompting her to wriggle her hand away. Thoughts of her boyfriend and her "heterosexuality" also force Needy to stop participating in a makeout sesh with demon Jennifer later in the movie.

The fourth scene that I felt was gay was actually a very straight scene. Needy having sex with her boyfriend Chip in her room as she "hallucinates" demon Jennifer taunting her from a chair. Needy makes noises, distressed, for which her boyfriend mistakes to be an orgasm. It is unclear to me if Jennifer was actually in Needy's room or if Needy's eyes were just deceiving her, however that's not what matters. What matters is that while Needy was having sex with her boyfriend, Jennifer occupied her mind, and it was ultimately Jennifer that made her "finish".

The final indication of gay in these girls exists in brief dialogue at the climax of the film. Needy intercepts Jennifer's attempt to eat Chip which prompts her to attack Needy. Needy says "I thought you only ate boys" to which Jennifer replies "I go both ways". This is obviously meant to suggest that Jennifer is bisexual. I also believe Jennifer's targeting of Chip was more intentional compared to her other victims as he was Needy's boyfriend. He is a manifestation of Needy's comp-het and stands in the way between the real couple that never gets realised.

Needy is ultimately the one to expel the demon from Jennifer, killing her body. This can an extreme metaphor for Needy suppressing her feelings. Jennifer is gone so her feelings for her must also be gone, right?. That's just not the case as what Needy does even after the death of Jennifer's body is fuelled by thoughts of Jennifer and the impact she left on her life.

To conclude, Jennifer's body is a story about two girls who are clearly in love but one of them won't admit it and one of them is a literal demon. Jennifer's a succubus, a temptress, that's how Needy explains her emotions even though they were clearly there before Jennifer's demonification. She won't just let herself be bi or gay because she's been conditioned to be "straight".

#jennifer's body #jennifer check #needy lesnicki #film #movies #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #movie review

[dipplie]

Temporary list of my stories and OC’s until one day I make a comprehensive and well made list:

Blinded:

Polli: My oldest OC and fun fact was my persona till she become edgy and I wasn’t 12 anymore. Everyone’s favorite yes yes I’m aware. Yellow, energetic, eats dirt and bugs, I can’t tell if she’s evil because of a wisp possession or just crazy. Breaks the 4th wall. Is she a Mary Sue???????? Who knows.

Melody: NOT Polli’s girlfriend despite Polli’s delousions. Has an abusive mom :(. Only has one eye and then no eyes and then robot eyes or smthn idk she becomes a badass when she gets older. But otherwise trembling in her shoes all the time.

Melodys Mom/Sharren: Bitch. Okay well all I’ll say is she’s old and grumpy and probably smells bad.

Louise: Total hotty, rich kid, FtM, got bullied as a kid for his weight. Had a squad of fans basically in high school. Lived with his mom after his parents got a divorce but his mom was semi abusive, projected her femininity onto him, and wouldn’t have been supportive of his transition, so between middle and high school he went to live with his dad and got his sex change and testosterone. His best friend in elementary and middle school stopped talking to him after his transition, and became his competition for the most attractive and sought after boy in school (except Louise is a sweetheart while his friend Tommy is a dick and really gross) His dad runs a company that specializes in technology, and after meeting and falling in love with Melody (even after all her abusive trauma and losing both her eyes) he has his dad and some of the developers create a way to get her vision back and I mean honestly I love him how could you not love him he’s so perfect.

Watching:

Fick: Big nerd boy with thick glasses. I feel like he’d use Reddit but don’t quote me on that. Big crush on Vivinya. Boy don’t wander into the woods- oh look dead body with a curse on it don’t touch it- aaaand now he has a wisp that makes him kill people, way to go kid. Panic attack central.

Vivinya: True crime girl, yucky yucky. Probably had a knife collection. “uwu I’m insane” except she actually is and starts using Fick to kill people for her and treats him like her “Yandere boyfriend” or something cringe and gross oh god. She deserves jail. JAIL. Needs to learn guys need to give consent too. Just overall sucks 1/10.

Tommy: I mentioned him early to be Louises ex best friend and rival. He used to have a crush on Louise actually but that don’t excuse being a BITCH!!!! Also needs to learn people gotta give consent he is just as gross as Vivinya. Cheats on all the girls he gets with because he’s again, a bitch. Idk if he deserved to get murdered though I mean he was still a teenager but it’s fine. Thinks of the song Seventeen from Heathers actually this story does feel a tad reminiscent of heathers with vivinya being a crazy and wanting to off a bunch of students. Huh.

Suzannie: Tommy’s older sister who’s a detective. What a coincidence. Monotone and depressed. Probably because her little brother got murdered. Gets real awkward when she’s talking about her brothers murder(s) to Fick and Vivinya like “when I find who did this to him they’ll regret being born”. Kind of really pretty actually.

Adolescents (there isn’t actually a story here yet but don’t worry about it shhhh):

Nelson: HIMBO HIMBO H- Jock stupid idiot big dork god he’s so awkward and his main personality trait is having a crush on Naomi and being a dork when talking to her. Probably could benchpress you.

Naomi: Gamer or something and a nerd geek. Her main personality trait is having a crush on Nelson and also being a dork when talking to him. Probably a weeb and fandom dweller. Can’t draw but she commissions artists to draw. She does write copious amounts of fanfiction though.

Andrés: Ohhh the school bad boy babyyyy. Baseball bat with nails in it or something. There’s like... A thing between him in Charlotte and he wants to be a thing but she’s being difficult and makes it hard to talk to her or about her and ugh.

Charlotte: Princess, high school princess. She’s actually pretty nice when you get to know her- but she’s a diva. Ballerina after school. Best friends with Naomi and doesn’t know what she’s talking about when she mentions ships or OTPs but she listens anyways because she’s a good friend. There’s like... A thing between her and Andrés but she doesn’t know if she’s super into him but geez he’s really hot but she gets such mixed responses when she asks her friends about it and what if it doesn’t work outttt.

Marlon: They/Them but they’re okay with either pronouns they aren’t sure yet, he or she is okay... Box boy box boy. Autism... He doesn’t want to admit He’s attracted to men but he’s totally attracted to men. He lives alone which is probably illegal for his age but somehow he manages. Everyone thinks he’s “the quiet kid” and he’s really sad about it no don’t make jokes like that please guys ahh-

Sing for Me:

Kat: The color pink, addahadda(adhd), angry and loud and short. For being only like 10 and being an adorable little lesbian dressing in sparkly pink dresses she actually likes screaming a lot and would totally sing heavy metal if her producers let her. Loud and mad but gets so soft around her girlfriend. “If anything happens to Brie I’m killing everyone in this room and then myself”.

Brie: French... Birds and stuff. Loves her girlfriend even though she is so loud. So fast. So much. Likes to write pretty things. Is only like an inch taller than Kat. Filled with so much love for everything.

Elliot: The girls manager. Lots of coffee. Stressed out of his MIND please help this man. Probably gay. Seems like a smug dick but he is just a tall and lanky dork that loves puppies and wants nothing more than for Kat and Brie to be happy. Accidentally brands them as sisters and then Kat kisses Brie and- oh fuck oh shit oh no what has he done. Hides the fan and non fan responses from them. Poor guy.

Horror Hosts:

Ichabod: Hot demon who’s the son of the current ruler of hell or something. I mean he’s hot, smart, and royalty, what more do you want. I very specifically hear the dub voice of Kyoya Ootori from OHHC as his voice don’t @ me. Goat legs????? Yeah??? Don’t be rude.

Barnabie: Ohhhhhhhhh big orc teddy bear I’m crying I love him????? He puts up a more confident ploy and the given stereotypical personality orcs supposedly have but he’s just a shy boy that wants to give girls flowers and call boys pretty. Help him.

Garrison: Gary Burger. Fat hairy gay man. I mean werewolf. Wouldn’t it be funny if I made the whole werewolf thing backwards and made him transform into a HUMAN only on the full moon??? Party animal, pun absolutely intended. LOUD AND FUNNY he’s a dork. Bites. Horny on main Garrison please you’re supposed pamper and flirt with the guests but not quite that much.

Vincenzo: Token Vampire but he’s Italian because I felt like it. Talk and lanky of course. Bitch face. Blood coffee? Yeah lots of coffee. Tired. Let him sleep in Ichabod. Steps on people. Can summon and reanimate corpses but has a bitter attitude towards them because they get annoyed with him as much as he gets annoyed with- everyone else. He does have a soft spot but idk where it is. When he’s talking to guests he’s more suave and sexy though.

Kai: Genderfluid haha get it because slime fluid-... I’ll stop. Probably objectively the hottest because they can look anyway they want and shift their vocals to sound like almost anything, also probably objectively the best in bed (if you’re okay with the texture of Jell-o) and honestly come on save some for the rest of us it’s not fair. This boy can SING oh my god seranade me and whisper in my ear baby. Spunky and sassy.

Hallvor: BABY OCTOPOD BOY OHHHHH I LOVE HIM HE’S SO SWEET AND IS AN ANGEL DARLING BOY SO EMBARRASSED SO SHY SOFTEST VOICE OHHH- ohhh nooo he’s got a knife ohhhhh Hallvor baby don’t be like that ohhhh... Used to work in hentai actually (I wonder why) but quit because of immoral practices and good for him we love that. Okay he’s not actually a yandere or whatever but he DEFINITELY wants to squeeze you a little too hard and has those crazy eyes.

Carla: Main character of this OHHC monster clone. She sucks I don’t like her because listen listen she kills monsters as a living and when she tries to kill our boys here, Ichabod catches her and goes “no” but then the rest (not knowing her murderous intent) fall in love with her and Ichabod is like: “shoot well I’ll keep you alive and around but I’m watching you” and blah blah romance and feelings and character development and wow she seems like she’s grown to care about them... So Ichabod removes a curse he put to prevent her from harming them or leaving... AND THEN SHE STABS THEM ALL IN THE BACK IM CRYING. I mean she might have an extra reason for needing to kill them but I haven’t decided if I want to actually put it in the story yet so.

Fingertips:

Maria/Marianna: Was this goth angry chick and the head of these losers but after a failed heist, fire, and being betrayed and dropped from a window on a 3rd or 4th story down into flames, and going to the hospital and changing her name, she changed totally and become a soft pretty girl... And then the next three boys went “HEY BOSS WE FOUND YOU” and she went “oh no” and now she’s just an anxious wreck like “no no no no no I don’t shoot people in the face anymore no no no no no” And has a fear of hands. Also was Diamontés best friend in primary school and yes all these characters went to the K-12 school all the other characters do/did. Pretty voice. The story is mostly about her being anxious around all the other characters because who was it that betrayed her and dropped her into the flames below? Find out next week on th-

Nikki: He’s that character that you see and immediately go “oh he’s gross and is angry and is a bitch” and you’re right he is and has a cockney accent and screams a lot and probably swings a knife around a lot, but he’s got a sweet interior (somewhere in there... somewhere) Screamo heavy metal. Him and the rest of these character briefly talked about having a band and then they didn’t and then at the end of the story they do and although he plays guitar mostly, if he does do lead vocals he screams a lot. Bitch.

Anthony: Pretty boy but like the “was in the army” pretty boy vibe. Probably played football in highschool. Pyromaniac. Punches Nikki a lot. Almost gives himbo vibes sometimes, almost. Kind of likes the old timey cozy aesthetic. Plays the piano sometimes but “oh I’m not very good at it” Plays extremely well

Diamonté: TALL. Purple goth boy aesthetic hellll yeahhhh. CRAZY EYES AND THEY SPEAK VOLUMES WATCH OUT. Drums. The scary kind of quiet because he just smiles at you. Crowbar. Okay but he’s actually really sweet though. Secretly loves watching Anthony and Nikki get into fights so that’s why he rarely puts a stop to it. I think he’s a sadist. Can be a gentle giant, but can also be a not so gentle giant. The only time he’s really talkative is after copious amounts of booze.

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: Literally a pimp and he’s pretty gross. Blonde hair and pink and white clothes.

Unnamed/Undesigned 2: Chick that likes to throw knives and be angry and threatens Marianna a lot but in a quiet and monotone way, Marianna is pretty scared and hopes that these are just shallow threats uhhhhh.

Unnamed/Undesigned 3: Sells guns (without a lisence of course) and wears a bandana over his face a lot. Tired. Grumpy.

Unnamed/Undesigned 4: Like Marianna, was cold hearted and cool but then got caught in the fire and got all soft. He only has one eyes but how sweet his eyepatch is a heart. Recoved along side Marianna and they are good friends good friends tha- wait Marianna are you going back with them oh god you can’t do that oh dear oh no oh-

(I don’t have a story or name for these two but they’re my comfort ship OC’s and my current hyper fixaction right now):

Rodriquéz: I literally designed him with almost all the traits I find attractive in a guy other than freckles so as you can imagine I find him super HOT. I also designed his personality on what I find attractive from a guy so as you can imagine I find him super GREAT. But anyways he’s grumpy and closed off and monotone and smug. I really could go on for hours about how I want him to step on me I’m so sorry guys. Both him and Samantha give the “21 and having immature fun” vibes. They’re a thing but they like going to bars together and splitting off and doing their own thing (or doing someone else’s thing if you get what I mean haHhahHhahGahGhaha-) But so help them if anyone doesn’t oblige by the “no” from one of these two, someone’s gonna get beat up.

Samantha: (She literally just my personality shhhhh don’t tell anyone it’s a secret) Bubbly, energetic, a little shy by extroverted, bombshell blonde or something? It took me way too much time and effort to design her but I’m really happy with how I finally designed her, I love her outfit. She could kick me in the face and I’d say thank you. Girly drinks at the bar. Got that trauma and anxiety™️ secretly though. Skips and jumps a lot. As I’m typing this I keep looking up at the drawing of her and more and more I would want her to also step on me.

(Space Story I don’t have a nice title for):

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: So... Funny story this story originally was with me and uh... My ex I guess... So I gotta replace the MC’s... Whoops ahaha... Awkward. But anyways the MC is a robot and a girl and is a slight tsundere or smthn.

Unamed/Undesigned 2: Has a space ship, works for this organization in space that protects the galaxy. Is cocky, lazy, sly, oblivious, and an idiot. The love interest- obviously. Probably accidentally committing space crimes. (Like space pirating hAHAHA-) Kind of cool when he wants to be.

Dandelion/Dandy: CAT. WITH A JET PACK. Kind of an asshole. Fun fact used to be Polli’s cat but then when the Second MC crash landed on earth she was like “fuck this noise I’m going with space boy laterz” (okay she can’t talk but she thought it).

Zizii: Lesbian alien? Yeah???? Okay but I mean her main character trait is being a dorky back alley doctor and engineer obsessed with the MC because they’re a sentient robot with emotions and a lazer arm and rocket boots WOW!!!!!!!!

Story I want to revive:

So I had a story I started writing a long time ago about this tech theatre kid that had a crush on this other theatre kid character, but in a play that other character has to kiss another person for the show, and as the story progresses the MC convinces themselves that it isn’t just a play and that their crush actually loves and is kissing that other kid. And in the play, that other character is supposed to die. Show night comes along and they die, but like actually, and by the hands of the MC (Idk maybe like a light falls on em or smthn). So it’s a grotesque scene the audience sees as just an act. (Mutters I dunno I think my idea’s cool...) So I’ve been wanting to design these characters and work more on the story but I’m busy being obsessed with Rodriquez and Samantha so. (And the Horror Host Club too I love them too still).

Other Characters that either don’t have a specific story or are kind of like background characters:

Jacqueiliquinne Merril: Sara Berry vibes from 35mm (go look up The Ballad of Sara Berry, maybe like an animatic idk the first one that comes up is nice) But otherwise rich, pretty, popular, bitch. Tries to like, steal Louise from his squad and it’s like bro that’s unnecessary who hurt you that’s so rude. She gives Nui from Kill La Kill Vibes too. Oh she knows her name is long and annoying but you have to say the whole thing.

Brianna: Jaqueiliquinne’s sister. Big titty goth gf??? She’s pretty popular too and kind of a bitch too but to a much lesser degree. Her and he sister throw hands a lot when no one is around, you know, “THEY GIRLS ARE FIGHTINNGGGG”.

The Louise Fan Club: 4 characters I haven’t named yet. One writes fanfiction of Louise and shares it with the others and with him sometimes and although he thinks it’s a bit weird he also finds it a tad endearing and supports her. One is an aspiring photographer and is constantly asking Louise to model for him. One is an artist and draws Louise all the time. And one is an aspiring musician who writes songs based of Louise’s relationships which again he finds a little weird but endearing and supports her.

The Jacquiliquinne Merril Fan Club: Genderbent-ish (I say ish because one of the characters is a little bit less defined gender wise) versions of the Louise Fan Club. Yes I’m lazy, and no they don’t get along with them, infact they hate each others club with a passion. 

Unnamed/Undesigned: I wanna make some hacker kid just because I wanna have one.

Unnamed/Undesigned: I also really wanna have a super cutesy magical girl and then a really super duper generic boring character probably like star vs the forces of evil idk I never watched that show but it looks cute.

Me: I exist in the universe fukc you I can do what I want it’s my story and I get to chose the who also if you wanna be in the mess of a universe go ahead draw yourself with my OC’s I allow and encourage and appreciate it. I literally made the Horror Host Club as a sort of Harem story and you are absolutely allowed to make out with them if you’re a monster fucker DO it GO ahead it’s canon.

and that is ALL I have FOR now Knowing me I’ll make like 12 more characters by July, and I mean I need more characters for the high school anyways so...

#Super Long #Characters #OC's #ALL my characters so far

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Reader it’s possessed by a demon (Meg) for a few long weeks now and Dean and Sam finally found her and they prepare everything for the exorcism but the demon (Meg) starts talking about things that she did while possessing the reader and things that affect the brothers and after a long time they finally send Meg back to hell. (The reader and Dean are together and three of them have known each other since they were kids) Hope it’s not too confusing😬😅😄

a/n: the june challenge is going on until tonight! so sorry if this isn’t as strong as my other ones 😓

“What the matter boys? Never seen a demon before? Or never seen a demon stuffed inside your girlfriend’s body?” Meg sneers.

Meg has been inhabiting your body for the past few weeks without the brothers knowing. It was only until you accidentally stepped into a devil’s trap did they know who you truly were. They’ve been trying to get Meg out of your body for a few hours now, and she’s being persistent as fuck.

“Tell me, boys, do you share Y/N? Like a love triangle type thing? Or does get her pleasure from somewhere else?”

“Shut the fuck up Meg,” Dean growls.

“Did you know I made Y/N watch as I killed a bunch of people. Slicing throats, bathing in their blood, and hearing their screams. I bet she had a blast,” Meg grins.

Sam tried to ignore what she’s saying because, after all, it is your body and your voice that they are hearing and seeing. They know you’re in there somewhere... alive.

“Whose to say she’s even alive in here? I might have killed her the second I took over this body.”

Sam starts the exorcism once again, but this time, it’s a much stronger spell. It’s for pesky little demons like Meg who deserve a push over hell’s edge.

“Oh, Sam, you know you’re much sexier than your brother. I bet if we gave it a go, Y/N will quite like it. You’re very... large,” she laughs. Sam starts to chant, and Meg’s face falls. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Sending you back to hell bitch,” Dean growls.

“Oh, you kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh wait...” she smirks.

As Sam continues, Meg begins to trash violently inside the devil’s trap. Dean hates seeing you in this state, but this needs to happen if they are going to save you. Sam continues despite hearing your screams. He knows Meg is in there, but your voice is confusing the hell out of him.

The much stronger spell of perks, and you tip your head back to let out the demon that’s been controlling you for a few long weeks. You fall to the ground as soon as Meg is out, and the only thing you can do is cry. Sam and Dean rush over to you once they know you’re actually you.

“Sh, it’s okay sweetheart. I got you,” Dean assures as he scoops you into his arms.

“I’m so sorry,” you whimper-cry.

“Don’t be sorry. This is not your fault. None of it is,” Sam says.

“I let her in. It’s all my fault. I’m so sorry,” you sob in Dean’s arms.

The brothers know it will take some time before you’re back to your normal self, but they are going to be there for you the entire time—through it all.

#holiday drabble challenge #june freebie challenge #dream-believe-and-love #sam winchester #dean winchester #meg

[gwasgy]

Okay. So. Here’s an elaborate multiple days of brainstorming ideas as they come PracticalMagicnatural AU nonsense. Thank you.

- Bobby and Rufus would be the Aunts and they'd be bffs not siblings and would have Vibes but it would be... hm. This is not a Bufus story is what I'm saying.

- the Curse would be on the men and for the women they love of course (classic fridging :/)

- this works for Bobby, (Rufus,) John, and Sam. (Supernatural is bad)

- so this is where it's kind of. Hm. Bc Sally and Gillian are not one to one for either boy. Where Sally and Gillian BOTH have identities separating family and magic (family business), these ideas are inseparable for the brothers.

- alsooo dean and sam to BE dean and sam they would've had to be "raised" by john until they were at least near-grown, even if they had a home base at Bobby's house.

- John still kills himself with grief MAYBE but it's like /later/ and more through self destruction and revenge and alcoholism, leaving the boys to live their later teenage/early twenties in the Bufus household

- Azazel is the one killing all the Wives in this curse. And if they use The Resurrection Spell to bring them back, he is possessing them

- hmmmmmmmmm they need to still be hunters I think buuut what if. They also did witchcraft.

- Dean would cast the love summoning spell, making it so that he uses angel descriptors unwittingly or on purpose because he doesnt think angels are real and therefore cannot exist for him to fall in love with and kill (bc the curse)

- it would be fun and very cringe fail embarrassing for Dean if sometimes he thought about His Angel and accidentally occasionally prayed to Cas

- Anna could show up and be Dean's red herring

- Dean could be in an About to Die situation and think, as a joke or whatever, "fuck. I never even got to meet that hot angel chick that's in love with me," and Cas shows up (with wings bc hot), saves him, *handprints*, then leaves

- OR. There's a blinding light and screeching noise and Dean blacks out and wakes up with a handprint safe and sound

- Cas and The Guy From Practical Magic That's A Cop both bend the rules of their superiors for their person easily and pliantly. except for the initial pushback. Hm.

----

- it's weird bc in practical magic there's this whole vibe of I'm Done With Magic And You're Dragging Me Back Into This And Ruining My Life but sammy had gone away and rejected The Life THEN found the woman he loves and THEN tried to resurrect her mayyybeeeee wait wait wait it wouldn’t be Jess bc she isn’t evilll...

- DEAN would be the one with a bad boyfriend that they accidentally kill and have to resurrect... hmmmmm

- maybe it's like a Boy Best Friend of dean's like maybe he is on a hunt with Benny and he accidentally chops his damn head off and tries to resurrect him to cover it up

- and that fucks up something in the afterlife and Cas is sent to Fix The Problem of whatever the fuck happened to this guy's soul when they did this

----

- it's wonderful to think of the PTA mom shenanigans Dean and Sam could get into but I don't think that Dean would have any sort of kid in this besides maybe jack?

- I mean, it could be that Ben is still around and he was with Lisa but never Loved Her on principal, and left in time so the curse didn't fuck her up, but they're still friends and he will still pick Ben up from school sometimes

- I don't see how the phone tree could work into it but I don't think that it's necessary bc sam and dean and cas's version of this story does not and can not revolve around them being outsiders in their own community but overcoming it and accepting who you are and integrating into the community through girl power and witch magic

- BUT. the potential of sammy being possessed is yeah. It’s extremely. Yeah.

- They could have a nice bonding moment of I'm never gonna leave you you can do this like from Swan Song. Like Sally joining Gilly in the broom circle to help her while she’s being exorcised

- their brotherly bond is NOTHING like Sally and Gillian's, though. Like YES. they would no doubt help bury the body, but they aren't giggling about their love life under the covers together. They simply are not that type of girl

- also I guess there wouldn't be the tension of You're Ruining My Life That I've Constructed Just By Being Here between them.

- WELL.

- Dean WOULD say something shitty about cleaning up Sam's messes though. He is just that type of guy

----

- Dean can definitely be the one chopping and hacking at the rose bush and cas would DEFINITELY get distracted and heal him in the middle of his conversation with him

- Dean oh dean he and his close Boy Best Friends could totally fuck with the curse. Like-

- Dean: Oh my good friend Benny he’s the first person ive really allowed myself to get attatched to in a while but that’s fine! he can't die because i don't love or like him like that because he's a guy! Haha, I'm not gay! We are just guys being dudes just two bros hanging out :)

Benny: *dies anyway*

Dean: FUCK

- Sammy would totally make that new age witchy herbal shop that Sally had! that would be so fun. Also ft. periphery what the fuck is up with those people type locals

- maybe Rowena shows up still and Crowley is also there hmmmmm and Rowena teaches Sam magic stuff and it gets him to make the supernatural a part of his life again without having to do any hunting hmmmmmmm or it's just another tool in his arsenal and he just always deserves to have magic powers

- the supernatural ladies could work in the shop :) like Meg and Rowena and Ruby anndddd Alya :) Ava? The psychic hunger games MVP girl

- or all the kids work at that shop!! I miss those dang kids. Max, the twins, death lesbian, Jake, electric guy, and all them :)

- Rowena is like a witchy shop owner up in town that buys Sam's wares to sell in the city #CareerWoman #GirlBoss

- Jody and Donna can also hang out I guess. Since we're at Bobby's place

----

- Dean casts the love summoning spell after either Regular Heartbreak with Cassie, his first love, when he was 15 or whatever, OR after the behated Boy Best Friend death. Hmmmmmm

- it makes more sense for the story for dean to have someone die on him and apply to the curse. But I don't wanna kill Benny ):

- well I don't think he was ever In Love with Crowley or Benny like he was with Cassie (or even Lisa)

- when he was 15 or 14 and John was still around but had left him at the Bufus household he got hold of that love summoning spell and made sure it was impossible so he would never experience heartache again. He does so while crying teenagishly and 11 year old sam is like. Why the fuck are you summoning this weird monster girl to fall in love with you

- and Dean is like no no this kind of monster doesn't exist. Anyway they'd have glowing blue eyes and they're as big as a building and and they hear me whenever I call no matter far away

- Sam: that...... sounds like an angel, dean.

Dean, having already done the spell: WHAT. NO. NO IT'S NOT IT IS SO NOT LIKE AN ANGEL. ANGELS AREN'T REAL

- Cas in Heaven, a bunch of flower petals swirling around him: what the fuck is that. That's weird

- Cas like 13 years later when he sees a cajun zombie vampire demon: okay I'm already getting weird prayers from some guy down there I'm just gonna check that out

- by the time Cas gets down there they've killed it again and buried it and hmm

- It's weird because it's the opposite of Practical Magic here bc Cas is the one that needs to be believed about something supernatural BY dean

----

- what if they accidentally kill JOHN instead of a hot bf. Dean kills John bc John tries to kill Sam, and they panickedly try to resurrect him immediately

- yeah yeah yeah yeah and John, possessed by Azazel, gets killed again while still being possessed and is buried underground. There can still be a rose bush and frogs and whatnot

- I doon't know why Bobby and Rufus would just leave the brothers in their house if John was alive until then?

- Alright John's been missing for like 5 years and the boys have just been living there and assumed he's dead. Then he comes for Sammy bc Sam is Turning Evil or whatever and John's a huge loser about it

- so Bufus is like "you guys are acting insane and you aren't telling us what's wrong so we’re just going to leave and you're going to sort it out yourself." Like the aunts

- then, when cas shows up to track down the weird resurrected demon-possessed serial killer abomination Dean and Cas are EMBARRASSING like completely totally absolutely embarrassing cringe fail love where they can't talk normal with eachother and Cas keeps getting too close and staring but Dean forgets to tell him to back off or anything and he just stammers uselessly through thin dumb lies

- there aren't any children there to comically thwart Sam's plans to get rid of Castiel as he is investigating Dean and Sam but it could end similarly

- where Cas finds Sam making a small angel banishing symbol and is like "okay. You guys aren't to be trusted and you're doing something evil (and i don't understand what’s happening to me when i’m around Dean). I'm just straight up going to leave then" and boom he's gone

- the fight Sally and Gillian have right before Gillian gets possessed can play out pretty damn similarly with Sam and Dean, but it's a LOT different too

- like it's their DAD not some random serial killer bf. You can't choose your dingdang dad! So the part of "I cant keep cleaning up your messes" WHOSE MESSES who even says that to who whose mess could this even be

----

- Sam has a girlfriend that dies from the curse and it’s bc of being caught in the crossfire when Hunter Bullshit Happens. The Women of the Winchesters’ way. So he moves back specifically to get back into hunting and witchcraft to BREAK the curse hmmmmm.

- Much like Sally with Michael’s death. “I don't care what he comes back as. As long he comes back. Please do this for me. Please? Please? Please? Please?” :(

- I think Dean is an Of Course I’m Not Going To Fall In Love kinda character, like younger Sally before Michael. very pessimistic very self depreciating. He only confides his deepest darkest desires (to be loved simply and openly without fear of the Curse taking anyone. To be held and to take care of someone who will appreciate it) in his fakey fake pretend prayers to his imaginary angel (this turns out to be very cringe fail embarrassing when Cas shows up)

- Cas holds onto these prayers like Hallet (the cop from movie) does with Sally’s letter to Gillian, not knowing or understanding why he’s so fixated on them and why he can’t stop reading them/playing them back/listening in

- John… maybe he was pulling a Gordon and was killing all the psychic kids and was eventually going to have to kill Sam, and Cas was for some reason Put On The Case as an angel or was Allowed to Interfere or whatever bc it was fudging up God’s Plan

- and that’s how Cas justified being so fixated and taking notes on Dean’s prayers, like Hallet did with the letter. It was a good lead. It was about their father, and Sam seemed to be having psychic tendencies or whatever that could turn dangerous

----

- Okay okayokayokay so Sally and Gillian’s story is them escaping the ostracization they feel from the people in their physical regional community. The Owen’s family has always been outsiders, even before the curse came into being. They are persecuted for being witches (and sleeping around and being sexy).

- the sisters try to escape this either by just LEAVING: going to a place they can be themself without shame, or assimilating and abandoning a part of themself so that they can stay.

- the Winchester brothers are, I guess, ostracized by the hunting community because they are kept away from it and moved around a lot in the show. Okay okay okay okay okaywaitwaitwait

- Okay so the Winchesters feel alienated from both civilians and the hunting community, and they both eventually choose to do similar things to Sally and Gilly..! Sam LEAVES and assimilates, while Dean stays and just accepts his role his father gave him.

- Gilly and Sam LEAVE, while Dean and Sally STAY. Gillian and Dean embrace what makes them Different, while Sally and Sam reject it in favor of Being Normal

- The witchcraft/hunting thing especially doesn’t mesh well here though because Hunting is KILLING it’s literally murdering sentient beings. It’s war propaganda it’s desensitizing you to Even Though The Enemy Is Capable Of Good Individually They Are, As A Group, Evil And Should Be Slaughtered.

- Witchcraft in Practical Magic is just… a way of life that’s considered outside the accepted norms of society. It’s being openly queer, it’s being from a different country of origin, it’s being non-christian religious in a small town. Accepting witchcraft doesn’t have any moral good or badness, it’s just with or without the consequences of being “out” in your area. While accepting Hunting as a lifestyle is to accept putting yourself in bodily danger doing morally ambiguous/BAD things to protect people you can’t relate to or find a community in. Hmmmmmmmmmm

----

- Sam and Sally both have natural talents/instincts but don't want to use it in favor of being "normal"

-

#literally all i want to think about. #spn #my posts #like this is Just For Me but GOD. #if theres thoughts or feelings to be had please let me know #practicalmagicnatural #it ends in a whatever kinda way but let me tell you. This is not my final thoughts on this #pmn

[nebulousobsession]

I just had a terrifying nightmare where i kept accidentally stirring up stuff and there were bodies hidden everywhere. I found some place with a ton of hidden buttons and started finding and pressing them, and when i got the right combination it opened up a room to show a bunch of bodies that looked kind of gray and glowed slightly. It was in like a corporate/medical setting, and the boss was there talking to people until they saw me. Then a serial killer, possibly the one that was used for whatever conspiracy that was, found and started following me. While I was running away from them, I accidentally disturbed a grave or body or something and the ghost started haunting me. She was going to continue to haunt and try to kill or possess me, unless I could sew her tattered dress back together. Her dress had a ton of pom poms attached to the front for some reason too. I looked outside and saw the serial killer parked in front of my house, and then the lights went out. Before I could really consider what to do, the ghost came back and the serial killer broke in, and I woke up.

#I never have nightmares so this was weird #tw nightmares

[sdra2headcanons]

Hey! Do I bother you if I ask you Nikei sfw and nsfw headcanon? And I would like to ask headcanons about Nikei and Mikado having the same crush? You are doing a great job I love your work 😊

Of course you don’t, and thank you!! 💕

—————————————————————

SFW hcs:

-He’s definitely secretly affectionate. Like he would never be affectionate in public unless he was really tired, but when he’s at home he’s just like “dhkshd cuddles,,,,”

-Coffee’s the reason he’s managed to live this long, so almost all dates take place at local coffee shops. No matter how much his S/O says all the caffeine is bad for him, he just shushes them with an “at least I’ll be energetic when I die” and then finishes up his seventh cup of the day

-Dates that aren’t out to coffee shops usually consist of them going somewhere that actually has good food so Nikkei will eat something that isn’t ramen or whatever he can get free delivery for

-His job’s tough. When he isn’t up all day and night working he’s most likely somewhere else in the world interviewing people during the day and working all night. His schedule limits his and his S/O’s time together, but that just means they make every second they have together worth it

-He loves playing games with his S/O when he gets a chance, which is surprising to most people bc he doesn’t seem like the type that’d enjoy that kinda stuff

—————————————————————

NSFW hcs:

-He prefers bottoming, but he’ll top if his S/O wants to bottom

-He probably has a bunch of kinks, but he usually doesn’t mention what he’s into until his S/O says they’re into the same thing

-He loves getting his hair pulled, it’s actually one of the many reasons he grew it out as long as it is

-He’d probably be into possessive type things. Like he’d love to look in the mirror the next morning and see a dozen hickey’s all over his body, and he wouldn’t even make an effort to hide the ones that wouldn’t already be hidden under his outfit. Well, he wouldn’t hide them unless he knows he’ll have to deal with Mikado later that day. Mikado wouldn’t stop teasing him for a week last time he saw

-If he’s horny and his S/O isn’t the mood to do anything, he likes to go out in public with something stimulating him the whole time. It’s an odd, but incredible thrill, especially when he has to talk to someone

-He’s definitely loud, you can’t convince me otherwise

-Shoutout to my friend that most likely won’t see this but if you do you know who you are, thanks for most of these ideas ily

—————————————————————

Same Crush Hcs:

-They both accidentally found out they shared the same crush through Emma. No one said she had to keep it a secret but they really wish they had so they wouldn’t have to compete more than they usually do

-Anytime Nikkei’s spending time with their shared crush, Mikado finds a way to use his magic to mess something up and then make it look like it’s Nikkei’s fault

-Meanwhile Nikkei prefers to make subtle comments putting Mikado down when he spends time with the crush, as well as dragging one of them away anytime they’re spending time together

-I feel like eventually it’d get to the point where they spend more time down talking each other that they forget to actually talk about themselves

-So in the end, their crush would would probably reject them both

-It’s a sad ending for them both, but they put their differences aside for a few minutes to cry over their rejection so at least something kinda good came out of it?

————————————————————��

Mod kanade stop writing at 1-5am when you can barely hold your eyes open chaellenge. Anyways I hope you enjoy these!! 💖

-Mod Kanade

#nikkei yomiuri #nikei yomiuri #sdra2 #super danganronpa another 2 #sdra2 headcanons #one day ill sleep #but not today

[justsomewritingsandshit]

The Struggles of a Male Veela (Part 5 - Selene’s Got A Date)

Louis Weasley x Soulmate!OC

Length: 3190 words

Warnings: soulmate!au, altered ages of next gen, female OC, Hunter Parrish as Louis, fxf date, mentions of sAd bOI hOuRs

Part 5 of this series | Masterlist | Part 4 | Part 6

Selene has never been fussy when it comes to dating – for her, (so long as the person expressed an interest, didn’t seem oddly clingy, or overly possessive) anyone was game. So, when the attractive Mari Singh (of Ravenclaw house) asked her out… well, she said yes.

Mari and Selene had been ‘classroom friends’ for years, so she had supposed it wouldn’t be too uncomfortable. Their rapport was friendly enough, and Mari was an attractive girl, so there was no real reason to say no.

Plus, Selene happened to know that she was the first girl that Mari had asked out since her coming out over the summer. Selene felt that she had a sort of duty to treat Mari to a wonderful time, setting a good example of what Mari should look for in a partner, should she choose to date again. Too many people let themselves be in bad circumstances, simply because it’s all they knew, and Selene wouldn’t let Mari’s kind soul be one of those. Selene wished she’d had a person do the same for her, when she was younger. It would have saved her a lot of broken hearts.

In the end, the two girls arranged it for their date to be the first Hogsmeade trip, which was on the last day of the month. The two of them were going to end up spending their entire time there making awkward but friendly conversation, and drinking butterbeers – there was never much to do in Hogsmeade, after all.

If anyone was asked to go off and experience Hogsmeade, they’d come back and say that it felt as if the village had been unchanged for hundreds of years. Contradicting that analysis was the known fact that many of the buildings were only two decades old, as some of them had to be repaired after the war. And, the war memorials and plaques in the middle of the village were only a few years old themselves.

Despite the newer builds, the town was one of the oldest magic-only communities in the United Kingdom – there were much older communities in remote areas of South America, Asia, and in concealed tribes all throughout Africa, though. There wasn’t much to the small town, just a joke shop, a sweet store, a few small trinket shops, a pub or two – basically; nothing much for the teens whose only chance at an off-campus activity was a monthly trip there.

So, yeah, dating at Hogwarts was kind of the worst.

Louis didn’t find out about the date, until what he would consider the last minute.

On the eve of Halloween (a Friday that was surprisingly mild for the season), Selene and Louis found themselves once again at their usual haunt – a large, wooden table located in the back of the ginormous hall that was the library.

Said teens were staring intensely at the parchments clasped in their respective hands. Louis’s happened to be a letter from his mother, a long winded one that was reminding him to try and ‘stretch’ in his veela form weekly – the fact that she went on to describe how it may feel similar to a female’s period was why he was contemplating an attempt at trying to burn it with his gaze. Selene’s parchment held the notes that she’d taken down in Charms earlier that day – at that moment, they weren’t making any sense to her.

“Louis? This new Charms stuff, I don’t get it. Help me out over here?” Selene’s interruption was received warmly by Louis, as Fleur Weasley (nee Delacour) had, in her lengthy letter, began to describe the severity of her monthly flow to her teenaged son.

“Go ahead.” Louis eagerly ditched his parchment to the side, one-hundred-percent ready to never read it, ever again. “Was it the wandless stuff we started this week? On Tuesday?”

Selene sent him a confirming nod, going into her dilemma, “If I’m casting a charm like ‘protego totalum’, how am I supposed to control what I’m casting it on? It’s, uh, pretty important that it’s cast on the right thing.”

Louis was momentarily distracted by the way her brows furrowed together in obvious confusion, sending his mind spiralling. By the time he managed to force his stupid veela brain to focus, he realised that he had succeeded in the task of being weirdly silent for close to a minute. If there was a wizard-god, then Louis prayed to them that Selene would just think he was seriously contemplating her question and coming to a slow conclusion. “I guess it could be one of those charms that are always going to require a wand. Or, you can just think super hard while casting.” Louis let out a breathy chuckle.

Entertaining this thought, Selene muttered, “I don’t know what wizard-kind did before they realised they could use a wand.”, as she flipped over her parchment.

It hadn’t been a real question, but none the less it had amused Louis to think up an answer to it. He chuckled, crossing his arms on the table to rest on, “I can just imagine it was a bunch of people awkwardly performing ‘accidental magic’, like when we were kids.”

His words caused Selene to laugh too, as she pictured people in old-timey clothes waving their arms accidentally and setting something on fire. “The first person to use a wand must have been like; ‘what?’!” Selene’s face got slightly warmer, as her breathing was interrupted by her chortles, “They were like ‘Bartholomew,” Louis had to cover his mouth in order to hide the snort of laughter he produced at Selene’s excellent impression of the ‘Bloody Baron’. His uncle’s impression was nothing on hers. “Thou hast pick-ethed up a stick, which doth work well-eth’ at mastering thoust powers’.”

Both of them had stomach cramps, trying to contain their laughter. Louis had tears building up in his eyes, and his face was turning red. Selene had doubled over, laughing mostly silently, the only sound being her inhaled breath and the slapping of her had against her knee. Their ‘quiet’ laughter was eventually drowned out by the librarian’s shrill cry of, “Get out of my library if you’re not going to follow the rules!”

Hurriedly, the two of them pack up all their belongings, erupting into occasional giggles every time the two caught each other’s eyes. They burst from the library’s entrance, and the Gryffindor and Slytherin stumbled along the large corridor. By the time they’d reached the end of the long hallway, they both decided it was best for them to start making their way to their respective common rooms.

There was calm silence for ten minutes.

Eventually it was broken. “So…” Louis’s shoulders were hunched over a little, his hands looking as if he’d shoved them as deep as he could, into the pockets of his school trousers. Making himself look smaller was his main way of coming off across nonchalant. However, the only thing he looked, was uncomfortable. “The, uh, first Hogsmeade trip is tomorrow. Are, um…” He paused to inhale some confidence, “Are you going to go?” Louis wanted so bad to shout out, to ask (or even beg) her to go with him on this trip. The sixth-year could imagine it now; the two of them wander the lanes of Hogsmeade together, their noses getting redder the longer that they’re out in the cold… their breath visible and intermingling, as they get closer and closer… maybe, a kiss? Oh, Louis wanted nothing more than that.

“Yeah, I-” Selene argued with herself. She shouldn’t have felt uncomfortable (awkward?) telling Louis about her upcoming date… and yet, she did. Which was absurd, because they were friends! “Uh… Actually, I have a date.” Merlin, Selene’s stomach squirmed. She felt awful admitting this to Louis, even though there was no need to, at all. Her nerves made her ramble, “With Mari Singh, from Ravenclaw. I think she’s in your Transfiguration class?” Selene went on, her mouth moving a mile a minute, but Louis heard none of it.

The blonde boy felt like he’d been physically hurt, despite knowing he certainly had absolutely no true right to feel as pained as he did. Selene Morgenstern was his soulmate, sure, but she didn’t know that. He hadn’t informed her that destiny (and, he guesses; his veela instincts) had fated them to be together. Plus, he was pretty sure that he hadn’t let on about his romantic feelings towards her either.

The Slytherin was her own person, and as such; allowed to date whomever she wanted…

But Louis was allowed to be upset about it. Even if it was irrational to be so. Boys (well, really, he’d insist that he was closer to a man, now) could be emotional too! However, he wasn’t going to expose said hurt feelings to Selene. He was upset by her words, but they were just friends… just friends, even if he did have different sentiments towards her.

Everything Louis Weasley had been taught by his family as a child was blooming into fruition in this moment; good friends support their friends – no matter the personal consequences.

As if the gods above had granted him lee-way, Louis’s turning to go up to the Gryffindor Common Room was fast approaching. “Well, uh, you have a great time! I’ll see you later!” Hastily exiting the situation seemed to be the only way to end this conversation, plus Louis was finding that his eyes were quickly filling with tears, and he didn’t want Selene to see them.

“Uh, thanks, Louis! See you!” Frantically waving at the back of the already turned-away boy was not the way a cool and collected Slytherin behaved. For love of Merlin, why was she acting like this? In true Slytherin sentiment, Selene ignored the way her stomach clenched up the moment Louis was out of sight. “Ugh, I need to get more sleep.”

Louis spent that night clutching his pillows tightly to his trembling body, desperately trying to not burst into his veela form. It was exhaustingly difficult to hold on to his human form, as his veela’s desire to fly away from all the pain he was facing was almost too powerful. The teen was virtually bursting at the seams, due to the effort it took to hold back this side of him.

His heart felt like it was under an intense pressure, as if it was being compressed. And his skin was positively feverish! Every pore along his body was asking for relief. Every muscle fibre itching for some form of freedom that only his veela form could give to him.

And to think, Louis had bitterly mused to himself, all this because I’m jealous. Louis knew, deep down, that he had no true reason to be jealous, or hurt, or sad, or angry. Selene was not his. Not his girlfriend, nor anything more than his close friend! The girl was her own woman. One who can decide for herself who she wants to love, and whom she wants to date.

Still… His acknowledgement of this fact did not miraculously send him into recovery.

Louis remained lonesome and feverish through the night.

There was a problem with Selene’s date.

Or, rather; there was a problem with Mari Singh – well, not really.

Okay, so the issue was with Selene. She was positively sure that there were a dozen other places she’d rather be, than on this date with Mari. The Slytherin clearly did not feel one iota of a romantic stirring towards the bird.

Now, that’s not to say the other girl was not lovely! Mari was smart, pretty, and rather funny - an all-around kind person.

Still, Selene found herself wishing that she was not the one opposite the Ravenclaw in the Three Broomsticks. And, that wasn’t to say it was an awful date! Not at all. It was a… nice affair. They talked over a butterbeer, and giggled at each other’s stories... And, yes; the conversation had been (sometimes) intelligent and (somewhat?) interesting.

Selene just felt like something was missing from it all, though.

“I was like; ‘why does this always happen to him?’!” Mari let out a chortle at her own story. It was a rather long-winded, yet deeply hilarious, anecdote of her families’ latest vacation. Her father apparently fell off a dinghy that the whole family had been sitting in, right into the arms of what may have been a hairy man (or, perhaps, a large bear), whilst not even in the water yet. “Anyway…”

The two female students had slowly been making their way back to the castle. And, now they were standing at the crossroads of where they’d each have to turn away to go to their separate common rooms.

Before Mari could even say anything else, Selene had to be honest with her, “Mari, I had a nice time today, but, uh, I have to be frank with you… I like you as a friend, Mari, but I-” Selene paused, to place her hand on the Ravenclaw’s shoulder and to carefully choose her following words. “I, um, I don’t feel for you, romantically that is.” Mari’s face began to crumble, “I’m sorry, but I had to be honest with you. It would be cruel for me to get your hopes up like that. You’re my friend but sparing your feelings now would only hurt you later. Right?”

Mari mulled the words over, but finally nodded her head softly.

Selene removed her palm from the other girls’ shoulder. She felt obliged to offer up some information that might soften the blow she’d just been dealt, “Plus, it wouldn’t be fair to Naomi…”

Mari’s head tilted to her left, “Gnomes?” It was a cute nickname Mari had for her roommate, fellow Ravenclaw Naomi Gardener. “W-Why would it be unfair to her?”

Selene heard the thinly veiled excitement in her voice. It was well-known within the female population of their respective year-group, that Naomi Gardner fancied Mari Singh. It was true that pretty much everyone knew that, but only Selene heard said information first-hand from Naomi. “Well, Naomi may have mentioned something to me… But it’s probably best to ask her about it.” She leant forward, pressing a friendly peck to Mari’s cheek, “Thank you for a lovely time, Mar.” Sending a wink to the girl, Selene began to walk away. “I hope we’re still friends, Mari! Good luck!”

Louis didn’t expect to see Selene the next morning.

Not because he assumed that something… like that... would happen between the two girls. No, not at all! Rather, Louis was surprised to see Selene, since he had decided to try to avoid her altogether.

Also, the idea of seeing her in the boys’ bathroom was incredibly surprising.

“Um, hello?”

Carefully, Louis angled his entire body away from the approaching teenaged girl. As quick as he could he tucked himself away and buttoned up his trousers. Due to his complexion, the flush on his cheeks was all too visible. Even knowing she could see the blush; he tried his best to act casual as he walked over to wash his hands. Selene was in his peripherals the entire time.

“So,” Louis shook his hands out, getting them dry enough to wipe against the fabric against his thighs – he didn’t even think about using his magic or wand to dry them. “Uh, what brings you to the men’s bathroom?” Before he could embarrass himself, he tucked his hands into the back pockets of his trousers. It was an attempt to seem casual.

Selene let a faux look of sadness creep onto her face, “Well, when I saw you practically running down the hallway when you saw me coming, I figured I should check on you.” She rested her shoulder on the wall to her right, “After all, I am a good friend.”

Louis’s was sure that his heart was going to jump out of his chest. Even though he knew that she was being a nice person, a great friend, his veela hindbrain was absolutely screaming at him. Surely that meant she was accepting the bond! Checking on her mate, right? Merlin! Louis had to snap himself out of those thoughts, because they weren’t facts. He knew first-hand that not thinking truthfully only damaged your own feelings.

“I- I just,” Louis was tongue-tied now. How exactly could he explain that he didn’t want to hear about her amazing date with bloody Mari Singh? “Well-”

Selene cut him off, not wanting to hear any of his poor attempts at lying to her, “I wanted to vent to you, about my date last night.” She rushed out first, before pausing. The Slytherin was gathering herself, choosing her next words carefully. “It was alright.”

The male noticed the lack of enthusiasm in her description of the event. His stomach lurched in awkward excitement.

She let out a quiet laugh, “You know… I was going to talk to Emmaline about it all, but-” Her head lolled to the side as she thought hard, “But I don’t know, I just-” Eventually, Selene pushed off the wall she was leaning on and strolled closer to the him. “I guess I just really wanted to talk to you.”

Louis was sure that he wasn’t breathing. “Oh.” In fact, he was pretty sure that he hadn’t been breathing for Selene’s entire speech. “Okay. Yeah... Alright.” Taking his hand from his pocket, he gestured over towards the exit of the bathroom, “Shall we, then?” Yes, that was normal. If only his heartbeat could chill out, too.

Luckily for them, there was only one first year in the otherwise empty hallway. Said single first year awkwardly still stood, deer-in-headlights-style, as they witnessed the two elder teens exit the boy’s’ bathroom together.

“So,” Louis was trying his best to seem calm, “It didn’t go well?” He paused, before clarifying, “Your date, I mean.”

The two of them were back in the school’s library. It was during a shared free period of theirs, and like always Selene and Louis were nestled together at their table. Heads were pushed closer to one another than strictly needed, both attempting to talk as quietly – they were in fear of the librarian, who had already given them both the most scathing look when they’d walked in talking.

“No, it was fine.” Selene answered him, her lips twisting into a grimace as she thought over the date, “Nothing awful, it just - it didn’t feel right.” She played with the quill in her hand, “I guess when I’m on a date, I want it to feel nicer than a ‘fine’ or ‘alright’.”

Louis nodded, understanding what she meant. “True.” There was silence as the blond wrote down a sentence or two on his parchment. He could feel the tingle of Selene’s eyes watching him do so. “So,” He began again, “No second date, then?”

Selene averted her eyes from his form, pretending that she didn’t catch him observing her from the very corner of his eye. “Not with Mari, no.” She looked down to her work, and unbeknownst to her Louis did as well.

Both had smiles on their faces.

TAGGED:

@iamwarrenspeace, @itsnolongerteen, @stilesloverdaily, @immortalmurphy, @fandomsandotherstuff, @mcheung0314, @aw-hawkeye, @glimmering-darling-dolly, @thenodmonster, @realgreglestrade, @seninjakitey, @theshortegg, @gqlqxies, @footballiskillingme

#louis weasley #louis weasley imagine #LouisWeasley #louisweasleyimagine #louis weasley x oc #not reader insert #hp imagine #next generation #next generation harry potter #next gen harry potter #nextgen! #harry potter imagine #hunterparrish #Hunter Parrish #the struggles of a male veela series #the struggles of a male veela #series #harry potter series #harry potter

[deadpooly]

forgotten dreams and faded stars

for the @mcu-christmas-exchange

written for @padraigendragon, i combined a few of your prompts and went for an endgame fix it! i really hope i did alright and that you enjoy it! 

I had this queued but it didnt post because it turns out it was in my drafts. a lot went on at home and i got preoccupied and recently remembered that i didnt post your work so here it is!! I apologize for it being late, that is on me 100%

***

When Tony snapped his fingers, he really wasn't expecting anything other than immense pain and death.

And that is exactly what he got.

He snapped and as he felt his breathing get shorter and heart slow down, he watched Peter cry over him and Rhodey give him a sad smile. He listened as Pepper told him it would be alright and he really believes her for the rest of his ending life because he loves her so much.

Then he looks past her and sees the destroyed look on Steve’s face and wishes he had a bit longer to make some things right.

Well, whatever was left to make right. In between the five years they seemed to rebuild the bridge and strengthen it because their friendship became more solid as time grew on. They still had their cold moments but every time after they forgave each other, nothing seemed so bad to keep them apart.

So Tony watched his closet family cry while he drifts away and looks Steve in the eye one more time before he sees him fall to his knees and suddenly Tony’s soul drifts from his body.

It actually felt more like he was being torn from his body. It didn't hurt, it kind of tickled actually, but it's a better analogy than drifting.

Tony Stark loved analogies. Something that he could use to help others understand something bigger. They can be simplified or stretched out and they can be calm and kind or harsh and painful to listen to. But they all get the point across.

When Tony was finally ripped from his body he was still present. He saw his corpse lying a few feet from him but he stood there and watched the scene play out before him. There was a pulling on his very soul trying to tear him from the earth but there was a deep presence of mourning and denial that continued to drag him down. 

It wasn't Pepper. God he already misses her, but she had always respected his decisions regardless of how dumb they were. It wasn't his best friend who had already spent a lifetime with him. And it wasn't Peter who only had a few precious years to get to know Tony. The boy was already too familiar with loss. 

It was Steve. Tony could feel his soul pulling him toward the man who broke down onto his knees and nearly started crying over a won battle.

Tony just looked at Steve and the single tear that cleaned a path down his dirty face. 

He wishes he could go over there and wipe it off his face. He can't though.

He’s a ghost. And that's the easiest way he could put the situation that he is in. Stuck in a world he can't interact with.

***

The first thing Tony noticed was that his soul unconsciously followed Steve Rogers around everywhere. If Tony wanted to go somewhere else, he just couldn't. He was pretty much stuck next to Steve’s side until the man decided he was done mourning Tony Stark.

Steve would go to bed and Tony would be sitting on the floor beside the bedside hoping to fall asleep or entertain himself. Sometimes he fell asleep, other times he somehow still had nightmares.

He attended his funeral, he still doesn't actually know where his body is, but he stood by Steve’s side and luckily he could rest a hand on Peter’s shoulder as the boy cried. He saw Morgan and Pepper together and knew that they were strong and would be alright.

Tony sometimes would forget he’s actually a ghost and would accidentally talk to Steve as if he could hear him.

“Your shoes untied.” Tony snorted and then he remembered he wasn't technically among the living and would huff in annoyance. Steve however would sniff and bend over to tie his shoe as if he heard Tony.

Steve was painting in his room and the canvas was clean except for the short brushes of a light orange dabbed throughout the large frame. Tony couldn't guess what the main object was going to be so he sat on a nearby stool and watched Steve scrunch up his face as he tried to create an image with colors.

“Why are you so complicated?” Steve whispered to the canvas. His arm wasn't raised ready to brush but it was lowered in surrender and defeat. “I could never get you right.”

Tony got up off of the stool and walked over to the canvas and sighed a sad smile.

“You always over analyze, there's a bigger picture and your focusing on the small things, Steve.” Tony dragged a ghost hand over the painting and stared at Steve’s conflicted face. “It looks amazing Steve,” Tony tried to reassure Steve of his painting.

The painting was Tony holding the iron man helmet in a place that looked like an orange heaven.

“Thank you, Tony.” Steve said and Tony froze in place, but Steve still did not acknowledge his astral presence.

***

The day quickly approached where Steve had to return the stones about a week after the funeral. Tony totally forgot that there were death rocks sitting around that needed to be put back. Also, he noticed that the wait was caused by a new healthy and alive Hank Pym creating more particles. Tony watched Steve decline Sam’s help and give his goodbye to Barnes. Then while Tony was expecting to be left behind since he was not in possession of time travel equipment, the machine started and Tony was being dragged along with Steve.

***

First stop was going back to the camp in New Jersey back in the 70s Tony was pretty amused at how horrible Steve was at lying to try to get the stone back where it was, given that he actually didn't know where the tesseract was in the first place. 

Tony would tell him where to go but Steve would go the exact other way because being a ghost sucks. Steve was in a hallway with a bunch of doors which lead into peoples offices. Then Steve took the stairs to a lower level and walked around until he somehow found a science-y looking lab.

Steve was walking down the hall then an office door opened and he literally ran into one Peggy Carter.

Then Tony sighed in hopeless jealousy as he watched Steve begin to panic and fluster. Shit.

“Steve?” Peggy gasped but shook her head and blinked a couple of times.

There, right there was Peggy Carter and Tony could facepalm because he suddenly knew that this task was going to get drawn out longer than it needed to.

Steve was frozen, he couldn't move. There was a tinge of red on his cheeks and his eyes told Tony a story of longing that could make his ghostly heart nearly hurt.

“Yeah Peg?” Steve replied. It was simple but coming out of Steve’s mouth like that, it sounded like it repatched a hundred moments stolen from Steve and frozen out of Peggy’s grasp.

The disbelief was written all over Peggy’s face, and the dying hope was burning off of Steve’s.

Dumbass, we need to get out of here or a timeline might get created. Tony tried to whisper into Steve’s ear. It sounds harsh but Tony just might be a little cranky that Steve is paying attention to a past jewel more than he is to Tony. Not that he could pay attention to him.

“How are you here?” she asked, getting straight to the questions and looking for answers. Typical Peggy Carter.

“Long story, time travel.” Steve said as if that would explain anything. Tony rolled his eyes. “I may need you help.” he then pulled the space stone out of his pocket with his gloved hand and held it out towards Peggy. “This is the tesseract, earlier I came here and stole it and I need to put it back.”

“You what?” Peggy asked in disbelief. “You were already here?”

“Is it May right now?” 

“No, its June fifth, 1970. Howard just got back, should I get him?” Peggy took out a device that looked like an early phone but before she could do anything with it, Steve stopped her.

“No, no. I just need to know where the lab is.” Steve asked urgently, some people in lab coats walked by and Peggy dragged Steve to the side and Tony just stayed in the middle of the hallway watching Peggy and Steve interact. It was like a beautiful reunion scene in a romance movie where Tony suddenly no relation to the person he loved and all he could do was stand by and watch as the protagonist ran back to the past.

Steve was absolutely adorable when he blushed and Tony loved him so much for it.

At this point Tony just allowed himself to get dragged along with Steve’s body. He didn't listen to the conversations, because why would he? He’s dead it wouldn't really matter. He watched Steve blush and Peggy smile and he also watched the anxiety creep over Steve because he knew that this would last and he would have to leave. Nothing could stop the jealousy from flooding Tony and the mourning that clearly engulfed Steve all over again when the stone was put back and the two said their goodbyes.

The process, as Tony had predicted, was long and drawn out because of the bump in and all Tony could do was try not to listen to a private moment no matter how much he just wanted to drag Steve away.

The reality stone was fast. Quickly injected into one unsuspecting Jane Foster. Tony thought there was probably a better way to handle it rather than re-infecting one of earth's smartest scientists with a reality check. But Steve being Steve, he likes things put back the way they were.

The mind stone was quicker, Steve just stuck it in a case lying around the tower, which he broke into and actually spoke to Jarvis. But this only happened after Tony spent five minutes watching Steve mutter and disregard ideas to himself.

“Hey Jarvis?” Steve asked, his head looking up at the ceiling, Tony thought it was adorable.

“How may I assist you, Captain Rogers?” the clear voice answered. Tony smiled at the familiarity of the AI while a grin brightened Steve’s face. Tony’s heart tightened at the sight.

“I need to get this case to Tony.” Steve paused and took a breath. “But without interacting with him,” Steve paused, then decided that’s all he wanted to say.

“I have several different ways I am able to transport the case to Mr. Stark without physical contact.” 

“Thanks” Steve said in reply with a single tear streaming down his face, and Tony feeling like his celestial body is thrumming with energy. 

***

Time stone was as simple as a stop by the sanctum. And that was it. Before the old wizard lady stopped Steve and Tony from leaving.

“Mr. Rogers.” she said clearly catching his attention. “You may have to watch what you do, you never know who may be paying attention to your actions.” Tony froze and looked at the woman and waved and smiled when he got the slightest motion of a hand back.

“Still by your side Rogers.” Tony whispered into Steve’s ear when they started travelling to a new location.

***

All Steve did for the power stone was thrown it in its dog cage where he believes it was found, then he just left. 

Tony just scoffed at him and laughed because yeah, this shit is getting old and he just wants to go home.

***

Then came the soul stone.

***

The climb up the large mountain was long, it was suffering, and it was painful. For Steve. Tony just sort of awkwardly floated knowing that wherever Steve went, Tony would also go. And he was not complaining.

They reached the top and Steve took a minute to allow his legs to slightly rest and he pulled out the soul stone holding it in his bare palm. He stared at the stone and slowly began stepping forwards until a voice called out to them.

“Steven Rogers, son of Sarah and Joseph Rogers.”

Shit.

Steve straightened and pulled his shield out immediately pocketing the stone getting ready to pounce on the speaker.

“Anthony Stark, son of Maria and Howard Stark.”

Uh what?

Tony froze and Steve’s look darkened.

“Shmidt.”

“Ah, Captain Rogers. I'm afraid you have come to return the stone.” Shmidt said.

“Why are you here. You should be dead.” Steve asked urgently. “And why did you say that name?”

“I am just stating the names of those who are present, naive Captain.” the figure floated forward and the blood red skull stood out against its black hood. “All those years ago, when I seeked power disregarding the consequences, the punishment had delivered me here to guard the stone for all the many years to come.”

Steve swallowed uncomfortably and Tony wanted to reach out and tell him to leave the stone and escape.

“Have your punishments come to catch you yet Captain?” Shmidt asked, and Steve stepped forward and punched him right through the face. Except his hand passed through what he thought would be flesh.

“Face it captain, you cannot try to finish me anymore. I am not among the living, just as your friend beside you. I know what you came here to do.” Shmidt said before he faded out and Steve was left with the stone in his palm and one Tony Stark beside him.

“I want Tony back.” Steve whispered, his grip hard on the stone before he let it drop and he closed the helmet on and disappeared to the future.

Tony felt sick and then it all went black.

***

When Steve returned to the compound, he was alone besides Bruce, Sam and Bucky waiting there for him. He walked off of the platform and dropped onto one knee. Tears gathered into his eyes and his head was bowed.

Then there was noise and Steve blocked it out as he tried to greive, then there were warm arms being wrapped around him and he froze before looking up into the warm smile being given to him.

“Tony.” Steve breathed.

“Steve.” was all Tony said before he grabbed for Steve’s hand and kissed it, then Steve launched forward and embraced Tony like someones life depended on it.

“I was with you the whole time.” Tony told him.

“I felt you. I missed you more than I thought I would.” Steve replied. “I love you Tony.”

“You know what Steve?” Tony asked with his eyes rimming with tears. “I think I love you too.”

Their hands tightened together and Tony never felt more alive in Steve’s arms. 

#mcugiftexchange #mcuchristmasexchange #mcugiftexchange2019 #see queue in a minute #jade writes #stony #stevetony #tony stark #steve rogers #endgame #endgame fix it

[stuck-in-jelly]

The Irony of Life (MP100|One-Shot| Fan-Fic Commission)

A short SeriRei one-shot that was commissioned

In which Reigen reflects on his 15 year old mindset and realizes just how wrong he was.

———————————————

When Reigen was 15 years old he accepted the fact that he was never going to have kids even if he wanted to. With a single glance to his parents, he doubted he would be any better than them and no child deserved a fate like that.  

Yet irony had a way of creeping into his life and taking away his choice, because by the time he was 30 he somehow amassed an army of children who all looked up to him and visited him often, none of which were related to him in any way.  

It had all started with one kid and just ended up snowballing into more and more children before he could even try to stop it. Half of the pictures he has on his clipboard in the office have turned into photos of him and the kids on outings; the time Teru and the Kageyama brothers joined them on their trip to the hot springs, his birthday party with all of them, Ritsu getting thanked by his first client, Rei doing a fortune telling, and so on and so forth.  

He hates to say it, but it’s starting to look like a mother’s scrapbook and he is neither a mother nor in possession of an actual scrapbook (though he has considered investing in one at this rate). And although Mob doesn’t visit the office often anymore, too busy focusing more on his studies and the Body Improvement Club, he accidentally ended up sending more kids his way to replace him.  

More specifically in the form of a bunch of rather loud girls that Tome dragged in hardly with his approval and his office had turned into their hangout spot (much to his dismay when he is trying to work).  

Even now, at the end of the work day, they lay sprawled all over the couch and chairs talking and laughing away as if he hadn't already turned off most of the lights and locked the windows in a subtle way to tell them to get up already.  

Most days Reigen was left alone like this– given that Serizawa typically heads off early for night school– however today was a lucky day and he didn’t have classes which is a godsend since Serizawa is much better with kids than Reigen.  

“Come on, girls. Pack up, we are closing soon.” Serizawa’s voice snapped the girls out of their conversation much faster than his ever would, it was a perfect mix of a stern yet gentle demand that sounded much more like a suggestion making it much more appealing to listen to.

With a ‘tsk’ Reigen looked over to chime in:  

“We are closed,” he sneered before snapping the blinds to the windows shut.  

Imminent whines traveled from the girls.  

“Come on, just a couple more minutes!” one of them pleaded dramatically. It was almost enough to make Reigen roll his eyes.  

“Do you want to be locked in the office?”

“Cool! Like a sleepover!”

“No, no sleepovers in my office.”

Tome leaps up, a tale tell sign she has an idea  

“What if you give me the keys?! I can lock up after we all decide to leave or we stay the night!”

“Absolutely not.” He doesn’t even need to think about that one

“What!? Why?! I'm super reliable?”

A smirk crept on Reigen’s face.  

“Ah yes, like that time you got lost in the cursed woods, or the time Dimple had to possessed you and punch your teacher, or that time you assaulted one of our clients, or when you-”  

“Fine, fine I get it!” the girls were giggling and Tome’s face had turned a bright shade of pink as she slumped in defeat.  

Before he could say much else Serizawa stepped in once again,  

“How about this: Tomorrow we have a case down at Cape Cop Avenue, if we head off now you can tag along for it.”

The girls cheered, accidently having adopted Tome’s curiosity for ghosts and other such creatures. With their minds satisfied somewhat with the idea of a new activity they began to gather their bags and the homework they hadn't even touched the entire time at the office.  

Usually Reigen would scold Serizawa for promising something like that, but the location was an apartment complex that Serizawa had scouted yesterday and as expected there weren’t actually any ghosts there. The scariest thing at the apartment complex was their plumbing system.  

Regardless, Serizawa would be sure to give them a show (thank god none of them were espers).

It wasn’t long until they all began piling out. Somehow it has become a habit for Reigen to walk the girls home and tonight was no exception, the only difference being that Serizawa decided to join them.  

The first destination was for Mika who lived only 3 blocks down from Reigen’s office, she gave an enthusiastic wave goodbye and promised to take a bunch of pictures tomorrow (even though Reigen tried explaining it would be hard to capture a ghost on camera).

Up next was their tall friend whose name Reigen hasn’t caught just yet. She seemed to stare a lot at them when they worked and doodle them but she was the politest of the bunch so Reigen didn’t mind her all that much.  

Then Tome, who groaned loudly as Keiko reminded her of the homework due tomorrow before sulking back into her house with a small wave. Misa lives just two houses down from Tome and jogged ahead since she forgot about the homework too.  

And then last but not least Keiko who without the company of her friends becomes rather bashful and shy only uttering small ‘thank you’s’ and ‘good night’s’ as she scurries into her house.  

With the girls all safely in their houses Reigen without meaning to let out a soft sigh as he stretched, finally allowing himself to relax away from the kids. Usually he’d keep on his facade for Serizawa but lately that illusion has been melting away and luckily, it’s been mutual.  

Serizawa has begun to relax too around him, being more confident and even being so bold as to tease him. They had also begun to work fluidly with each other, understanding what the other needed or wanted with simple quick glances and they practically danced around each other in their morning routines. Reigen even trusted him enough to give him copies of the keys to the office, it was nice to have someone to lean on when you needed it.  

Neither of them said a word but they both began walking in the same direction. Serizawa lived just a bit further from Reigen in a different and better apartment complex than his so it made sense they were sticking together.  

Nights like these were rare but appreciated, his whole life Reigen has always felt like he was supposed to be running just to catch up; but walking like this alongside someone you trust and care about is nice. It makes him feel like he can finally walk instead of run, like there is no rush.

And Serizawa is a good person and perfect company, initially Reigen assumed they didn’t have much in common but as time has moved on it turned out they do and they frequently found themselves talking each other's ear off. Mostly Reigen more than Serizawa but it’s a mutual exchange at least.  

Though right now they seem to appreciate the silence, the girls were a nice change to have in the office but they also tend to drain the two of their energy with how loud and energetic they get, not to mention the trouble and danger they seem to like to get into. The thought alone is already giving Reigen a headache.

“Reigen?” With the sound of his name, he snaps out of it quickly, looking up to Serizawa only letting out a small ‘hm’ of acknowledgement.  

Reigen catches the brief moment Serizawa was looking at him before staring forward instead.

“I know we’ve been busy lately but I was wondering if you would like to join me tomorrow for dinner at my place?”  

Now that was extra new, Reigen has never been over to Serizawa’s apartment. Something about it felt a bit too personal, maybe it's because he hasn’t been over to a friend's place since he was in middle school nor has he had guests over willingly at his own apartment.    

“What’s the occasion?”  

The question makes Serizawa visibly tense, although the man has become more confident in himself, he finds moments like these where he still falters in his choices.  

“Oh! Uh well I just um thought it would be nice to have some company over you know, I wanted to try out this new recipe and I thought it would be nice to have another taste tester and well I’m also trying to get used to having more people over at my place and I-”  

Before he could go on another list of excuses Reigen interrupts,  

“Sure, sounds nice. It’s been a while since I had a home cooked meal anyways.”

The response seemed to calm him down, his shoulders untensing and letting out a not so subtle sigh of relief.  

As casual as Reigen is trying to act though he could feel his heart hammering in his chest in excitement. Every time he’s tried to have a moment alone with Serizawa one of them has always been either busy or with other plans so it would be great to finally have time.  

But Reigen isn't an idiot, he knows exactly why he’s excited for this. He’s noticed how things between them have changed recently and perhaps it’s wishful thinking but he’s noticed from Serizawa too, when his gaze lingers, when he relaxes into soft touches, and the change of his mood from around his friends as opposed to him.

Along with this came a new tension, and not the kind where you want to murder each other or fuck, no it was something different. It was the kind of tension where both parties are trying to read each other and think they know what the other is thinking but they don’t want to make any unwarranted assumptions.  

Reigen’s always been great at reading people, and usually he wouldn’t doubt himself but this is different in many ways. Serizawa is not only a friend but an employee, and he’s being reintroduced to the world away from all the hardships he faced and the trauma he’s brought along with him. If he is right about this, he needs to be careful.

Serizawa is perfectly capable of making his own choices but he needs to go at his own pace and to push anything onto Serizawa wouldn’t be fair.      

There’s another thing Reigen had accepted when he was 15 years old, and it was that no one could ever love him for who he truly is. And that is a firm belief he’s kept, even now as Serizawa leans to be closer to him and he leans back.  

But then again irony loves his company. So maybe 15-year-old Reigen could be wrong about that too.

-----------------------------------------

If you enjoyed this fic please consider commissioning me or donating to my PayPal

If you want this posted on AO3 tell me and I’ll probably do it!! Thank you for reading

#30 year old reigen beating 15 year old reigen with a stick: YOU ARE CAPABLE OF LOVE YO ARENT YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER YOU PIECE OF SHIT #jelly tarts #long post #just in case #mob psycho 100 #serirei

[ivanaskye]

WoT Reactions: Book 7, A Crown of Swords

Almost halfway through the series, and a lot is happening. Well, except for the parts where it takes forever for something to happen... while a bunch of other things happen. I think this is starting to hit the part of the series that many fans say is poorly-paced, and I can kind of see why...

That’s not why it took a while for me to finish this one tho, that’s mostly because I was visiting family for the holidays.

One of the main themes of this book is the many, many ways in which the Aes Sedai have horribly mismanaged basically everything due to being too strict (read: abusive) as well as too distrustful of each other. Which means that it turns out that there’s ALMOST TWO THOUSAND women trained by them who they’ve kicked out, which is literally more than the people they haven’t. Also some of them are older than they thought any Aes Sedai could get. Also the complete lack of sharing information between Ajahs or even sometimes between individuals within the same Ajah means no one knows anything EXCEPT the evil ones. Amazing.

Anyway, that’s all set to change now that the world is ending, so uh, that’s a plus? Lmao.

Character-by-character thoughts under the cut.

Rand

One of Rand’s most notable developments this book is having sex with Min, then completely losing his mind over it

It’s like. Min: rips off his clothing. Rand, for the next several days: I’m such a monster.

This is also why he flings Perrin against a wall

Bc obviously having SEX proves he’s a MONSTER

Thankfully this gets resolved in less than a week, but still

Also! He and Min VERBALLY confessed their feelings to each other! That’s the best progress this harem has seen yet!

God what else did Rand do this book. Oh right, teleport around a lot and get stabbed by Padan Fain and then let Sammael lure him into Shadar Logoth

Where Sammael “””dies”””

(I will not believe ANYONE in this series is dead until I have SEEN THE BODY)

Meanwhile he does a mercy killing of Leah, which hopefully has broken down his block against killing women, because there’s like, what, five female forsaken who are totally willing to kill him?

Perrin

Gets flung against a wall, leaves to do some other mission

Honestly I don’t have much to say about Perrin this book?

He and Faile still aren’t really communicating, for still-really-stupid reasons?

Sigh

Egwene

Still THE GODDAMN AMYRLIN SEAT

Finds out about Lan, sends him to Nynaeve

Not rly the most important character this book but I love her

Min

As mentioned above, has sex with Rand

Is also absolute MVP for actually communicating with him. And having something that resembles a brain.

Tells Cadsuane etc enough to prevent them from totally triggering his PTSD while trying to save his life

LITERALLY possesses half the braincells in this whole book

Also, total confirmation that Moiraine isn’t dead, Min thinking about how Moiraine being essential to Rand’s success is her ‘one viewing that hasn’t come true’

Birgitte

The other MVP, the only person on the planet capable of breaking down the communication barriers between Mat and Nynaeve + Elyane

This is because she is the only person on the planet who is from a time period (well, several time periods) with actual gender equality, including men and women not all automatically distrusting each other

Mat is shocked to discover he can think of a woman as a person

Nynaeve is shocked that Birgitte can think of a man as a person

A+, good work

Mat

Speaking of,

Maybe actually learns a thing or two regarding his sexism. Part of that is via a FRIENDSHIP WITH BIRGITTE, which I did not expect to become one of my favorite friendships in the series, but here we are

The other part is uh, the getting raped

And like, otherwise assaulted

A lot

By Tylin, queen of Ebou Dar

It’s a real bad time and I feel sorry for him

We leave the book with him being the last of our protagonists out of the city, not quite leaving before a war erupts there, I’m sure he’ll have a GREAT time next book,

Nynaeve

Despite Aviendha making her apologize to Mat, I don’t think she ACTUALLY admits she’s wrong any time in this book? So she’s still only done so once in the entire series lmao

A Mess TM!

Her block is broken now, thanks to a near-death experience WHICH WAS DUE TO MOGHEDIAN, meaning Moghedian is accidentally responsible for Nynaeve becoming more powerful, good job

Ok weirdly her relationship with Lan is actually... super cute in this book, where it WASN’T before, and I think the difference is the part where Lan longs for death even more than usual

You would think that wouldn’t suddenly make a ship cute

But you would be wrong

He’s HOLLOW and HALF DEAD INSIDE and somehow. It works? I don’t know man

Lan

See above

Elayne

More braincells than Nynaeve or Mat, which is to say, she has one (1)

Spends significantly too many pages flailing around looking for the Bowl, but hey, she+Nynaeve+Mat have finally found it, so at least THAT subplot comes to an end

Still needs to actually go be queen

Cadsuane

She’s no Moiraine, but I like her

Badass old lady who fears zero (0) things

Morgase

Still alive, BARELY

Has now been tortured, but OFF-page, which is a rarity in the Torture Porn Series

Also she had very, very coerced sex

Then the Seanchan show up in Amadicia and she’s introduced to something even more terrifying, the concept of slavery, and manages to escape with one of the suddenly-less-bad-seeming religious zealots

Moghedien, Galina

SPEAKING OF the concept of slavery,

Both of these are very evil people we don’t like, who this book now makes us feel sorry for by watching their torture and degradation

Which is very classic WoT

So that’s most of the characters I have specific thoughts on, but there’s something else I wanna say here at the end, which is predictions for the next book!

While I’m quite sure that Moiraine and Lanfear aren’t dead, I don’t think they’re coming back quite yet. For that matter, I’m not sure if Sammael’s probably-not-dead nature will be revealed yet

Instead, I think the main enemy next book is going to be the Seanchan, now that they’ve invaded two further countries

Maybe we’ll get to see Egeanin again???? Pls????

#wot reactions #wot #wheel of time

[solitaria-fantasma]

((Extensive Session #3 highlights.))

We go to Von Trikona’s tower and are greeted by three students and a handful of golems.

Humphry eyes Mountain with abject terror.

Von Trikona gives us the preserved bodies wrapped in burial shrouds, and teleports us to the town of Fwee - just past the security gates, but not right in town square.

The map for the town of Fwee is heckin’ pretty.

“Oh no...oh no, I fucked up. I made a mistake! UwU!!!”

“Please don’t comment on the corpse-shaped backpacks!”

Udaji may be tol and stronk but she is also dumb and can’t roll higher than a 10 on her Perception checks.

“The only ones who don’t blend in with the local crowd are the Halfling and the Dragonborn.” Claus and I just can’t catch a break…

We walked around the marketplace with the preserved corpse backpacks for a while as we asked for directions to the Rose family home.

Mountain’s intimidation checks are on-point.

Udaji’s average Perception roll is a 4 while the rest of the party averages around 16.

It has been decided that this scaly baby should never have been allowed out of town on her own.

Somebody in this town is throwing mud balls and glitter bomb darts at our rogue and Udaji is seeing NONE of it.

“Claus would like to point out that you’re covered in paint.”

We entered a house and the DM resized our icons to reflect the height differences. It looked like a bad game of Agar.io and I was winning.

Matthias - still covered in paint - was politely asked not to sit on the furniture, and handed a single tiny-ass napkin to ‘clean up’ with.

“Yeeeaaahhh...there was no easy way to do this, was there?”

“Is it more disrespectful to put the bodies on the ground or the table?”

“It might be more disrespectful to try and unwrap the bodies one handed and risk dropping them.”

“Above the board, do we have to tell her that the bandits were already dead when we found them?”

Matthias ‘accidentally’ smeared paint on the servant on his way out, and offered him the tiny-ass napkin back.

Lady Rose thanked us for returning her family’s bodies, but asked us to give her some time to process her loss.

We then went to the magic district (mostly wizards, mostly elven) to get started on the errands we promised to run between Von Trikona and her friend Vincent.

We knocked on the door, heard a loud ‘CRASH’, and poked our heads through the unlocked door Scooby-Doo style.

The DM promptly had us roll for initiative.

I keep forgetting to select my token BEFORE rolling for initiative heck.

“Hopefully you guys don’t die.”

“Gotta be honest - I’ve thought about what character I’d bring in if Udaji DID die. But it would be really, REALLY sad.”

I had to run down to get dinner and missed half a turn of combat but I made it back just in time for my second go.

“Oh! Udaji! You missed this part, but the old wizard man has cried out for you to not set anything on fire.”

“Can do! That’s not my kind of dragon heritage!!”

The old wizard man is ‘Vincent Oman’ - an artificer. We returned his stuff, and he offered us dinner.

“This guy is, like, peak Grandpa. He’s very happy to have people over.”

Vincent has not heard of Lord Hassan, but recalled an enchanted lockbox a cohort of his (Ceri, another artificer) had made on commission for the dowry of a local girl marrying a man in the next kingdom over.

That lockbox (enchanted to be neigh on impossible to break into) was part of Clarissa Rose’s dowry, and now I’m sad.

Vincent drew us a map to Ceri’s house, and then we nearly left without picking up Maxine’s books (three advanced spellbooks & some of her notes).

He also offered to let us sleep in his attic for the night, since it was getting late, only asking us to try and keep quiet, as he was a delicate sleeper.

Matthias finally got to wash off the paint in the ‘waterifier’ (re: magical, water-creating shower).

Vincent reminds Udaji too much of her own dad, and she took one point of homesickness damage. Vincent gave her heartwarming life advice, and more food.

“It’s okay if you get sad sometimes, when traveling far from home. You will find people who will not, perhaps, fill the void, but surely make it feel less empty.”

I’m going to adopt Vincent holy heck

Ceri confirmed that the lockbox was commissioned to keep safe a dowry traveling a long distance, and told us that it could only be opened by using two skeleton keys simultaneously.

We had found one of said skeleton keys in the bandit/necromancer lair back in Session 1.

“We were too eager to shout ‘MURDER!’ in front of the guards back in Torrin so now we’re afraid to whisper it in Fwee.”

Ceri confirmed that the key we found is one of the lockbox’s two keys.

We then debated for five minutes who the key, lockbox, and dowry would legally belong to, now that Clarissa and Donald are dead, but never officially reached the wedding.

“This is not the kind of law my family studies!”

Ceri whispered a few rumors of engagements in the area that had fallen through due to ‘accidents’ which saw the dowries go missing, and that the enchanted lockbox had been commissioned by the Rose family to protect against that.

He then told us to get out of his house.

“That’s the kindest ‘GTFO’ I’ve ever gotten.”

“We haven’t heard back from Lady Rose yet, but I feel like it would be too awkward to go back to her house and knock on the door like “Hey, are you done grieving yet?”. The answer is probably ‘no’...”

“Maybe if we walk around town, someone will try to throw more paint at Matthias.”

We wandered around the marketplace for a while, trying to lure out the mysterious woman who’d been throwing things at us the day before.

[Just to set a little reference - this is all happening within the first two hours of the campaign.]

Matthias got egged, and we chased the perpetrator into a public park.

Mountain got distracted by the beautiful view, and Matthias threatened the woman with his bow. The woman pulled her own bow and threatened right back.

“I am going to swing my lute around in front of me to act as a shield in a worst case scenario. I’m not taking an arrow over an egg.

THE WOMAN. IS MATTHIAS’. CHILD.

DM: “How long has it been since you last spoke with your lover?”

Matthias: “Let’s say it’s been….twenty-five years, seven months.”

The kid’s name is Astrid, and she is mAJORLY pissed off at ‘dad’.

Udaji is backing away from the awkward family reunion, and Mountain is still distracted by the park scenery and has no idea.

“You’re Hohenheim, and she’s Edward.”

[I understood that reference!!]

“Udaji makes eye contact with Mountain and shakes her head like “Don’t get involved you’ll regret it”.”

Mountain officially confirmed for Tiefling.

Claus tries to calm Astrid with the blessings of Lathander. She refuses. Udaji bends over a little and pats Claus on the shoulder consolingly.

His player has difficulty articulating it (and honestly, who wouldn’t? Words are hard), but Matthias is legitimately upset to hear that his lover had died.

“You go up to her and give her a hug with a pat-pat?”

“She immediately starts sobbing in your arms.”

“I shed a single manly tear.”

Mountain has only just now caught up to the fact that these rogues know each other.

Astrid is now refusing to leave. Udaji is still the party baby.

“The only reason I was allowed out of town is because nobody could physically stop me.”

“Claus gives you a comforting pat on your hip, as that’s about as high as he can reach.”

After all that chaos, we were approached by a servant from the Rose family, calling us back to Lady Rose’s house.

Her name is now Ingrid Rose, because the DM forgot to name her until this very moment. Mood.

Matthias is still covered in egg.

Lady Rose admits that she thought the offer of marriage from Lord Bryant Hassan to her daughter was too good to be true.

She also admits that she thought the Lord had asked for a rather greedy amount of dowry with the proposal.

“Were any of my husband or daughter’s possessions recovered?”

Don’t look at Matthias. Don’t look at Matthias. Don’t look at Matthias.

Lady Rose asks us to look into the recovery of the enchanted lockbox that was carrying her daughter’s dowry, and offers to reward us for it.

She ALSO asks us to put a knife in the throat of whomever arranged her daughter’s death, should we find it to not, in fact, be a tragic accident.

Astrid is basically June from AtLA but without Nyla.

Everybody stocks up on rations for a long trip back to return Maxine Von Trikona’s books.

We get on the road back to Torrin, retracing the ill-fated Rose party’s steps as we go.

After two days on the road, we come across a seemingly wounded man on the side of the road, by an overturned cart.

He asks us for gold to get back on his feet.

Udaji immediately fell for it, and had to be physically stopped from reaching for her gold.

Miraculously, we all managed to avoid a bunch of mysterious projectiles and whistling noises.

Interestingly, both of the guard corpses we had ‘interviewed’ reported hearing a whistling noise before their death.

Mountain took an arrow to the horn, but only three points of damage.

We were all tired by this point and there were a lot of bandits so combat was looooooong.

Claus has two waiting Bardic Inspiration dice and is having a very good day.

“You’re going to shoot THROUGH your daughter and your cleric??”

ONE BANDIT DOWN!

I charged at a bandit, sword drawn, but couldn’t quite make it there in one turn, so I added an intimidating roar for good measure.

I rolled a nat 20, therefore proving that I inherited SOMEthing from my white dragon mother, and the bandit pissed himself.

THREE BANDITS DOWN!

I took 8 points of damage from the other bandits and it’s a good thing the DM had us level up at least once bc if I’d still had my lvl. 1 total of 9hp that damage would have damn near killed me.

“Ew, he’s got a skull face with horns! ...oh, wait, he’s just ugly nevermind.”

“If I cast the magic, but Matthias says the words, can we duet ‘Vicious Mockery’?”

“My mother [the white dragon] would be proud of that, and I’m not sure I’M proud of that.”

I stand corrected: Astrid is a ranger, not a rogue.

Dragonborn zoomies.

“I may be wearing a flower crown, but I’m still scary.”

I have now decided that there will be - at minimum - one fight where I take off my flower crown and force someone else in the party to hold it.

Probably Claus.

SIX BANDITS DOWN!

“Well, they identify as a corpse right now, so…”

We got distracted for another five minutes arguing about how useful Hawkeye was to the Avengers in the MCU vs. how useful Hawkeye was to Loki in the MCU, which spawned from the DM apologizing for her slowness in playing out Astrid’s turn, as she had never played a Ranger before because she thought they were useless.

Poor Hawkeye.

The bandit captain tried to ambush Astrid, hit her with one of two scimitars, and failed his dagger roll badly enough to stab himself.

Claus - incredibly inspired by Udaji’s music and heroics - saved Mountain from dying.

Udaji keeps rolling really well on attacks and damage...if only I could shuffle some of those over into Perception.

Astrid got the killing shot on the bandit captain.

I looted his body, and found (2) scimitars, tattered leather armor, the queen piece from a set of dragon chess, and (7) silver.

I took the chess piece, and nothing else.

Astrid found footprints leading back to the bandits’ camp, so we took over it for the night.

We leveled up! Woo!!!

Zone of Truth. Zone of TrUTH. ZONE OF TRUTH-

And College of Creation. This is gonna be fun!!!

#OOC #Quarantine D&D #((these keep getting longer and longer...)) #((I need to learn to summarize))

[internaljiujitsu]

F*%! FEAR: 6 Steps To Becoming Fearless

I lived in fear for forty years. It felt like weakness — as if there was something wrong with me that made me more scared than everyone else. My mother would always tell me about how sickly I was when I was born. How I stayed at the hospital for a month afterwards and how my aunt just barely saved me from dying once (so I guess I was kind of on borrowed time). I hated eating as a kid and was really skinny, adding to my weak mystique. In school, what I now know was anxiety would create psychosomatic illnesses. I’d feel sick, but it was all in my head. Stomach aches, dizziness, shortness of breath  —  It frustrated my dad — especially when he’d have to come pick me up from school again because I was freaking out on the inside.

We grew up watching the crack epidemic take over our neighborhood. The drug dealers did their business out of the fourth floor of our building. My brother and I would sweep up crack vials on the weekends to get our allowance from the superintendent — our dad. The tiny plastic cylinders with colorful caps filled the dustpan as we swept the roach infested vestibule leading down to the spooky, filthy basement.

Several young immigrants that had just arrived from Mexico were found dead over the years in the building next door, where Dad was also the super. Death from unnatural causes was a very real thing where we lived. Around age eight or nine, my alcoholic uncle, who lived in a storage room in the aforementioned basement (and would sometimes walk me to school), was killed when he fell while trying to climb a building to get to his ex girlfriend. I was about ten when our close family friend’s son, a squeaky clean kid visiting from the marine corp, was murdered defending a girl in the playground. At eleven or twelve, I watched my best friend’s dad kill a guy in an argument over a prostitute.

When I was fourteen, I was mugged at gunpoint around the corner from my family’s apartment. My big brother, wielding a large, rusty machete, took me around the entire neighborhood that night looking for the robber. The dude had worn a mask, so my brother put the blade to every thug’s neck that we passed on the street and asked me to look him deep in the eyes. They all knew my brother and respected him. They pleaded for mercy. Thankfully, we never found the guy.

That kind of shit was common in my old neighborhood. Baseball bats were swung in search of skulls and group rumbles were still a thing. I had family members snorting coke in front of me by the time I was in the fourth grade (and immediately making me promise I’d never do the same). Forty ounce bottles of beer were smashed over people’s heads in street fights. My crackhead cousin once robbed a dude using my favorite toy gun. He confessed to me when I found the gun broken and complained to him about it. Bullets fired from roof tops for fun whizzed through the ganja heavy air. It feels like we fought every day at school. That big yellow bus was like the fucking octogan.

We finally moved out of that neighborhood when I was sixteen after a gunfight forced our entire family to jump behind a parked car for cover. That shit was stressful. I was jumpy as hell. It didn’t help that Mom and Dad were very old school disciplinarians, if you know what I mean. There were fights outside and fights inside — all the time. I was always scared.

And that’s how I continued to grow up — I just didn’t show it, or let it stop me from fighting. When it was time to throw down in the street or at school, I always did. Partially because I knew my badass big brother would disown me if he heard I punked out. Backing down meant you were a victim. I once accidentally stepped on his buddy’s shoe and apologized. I’ll never forget what the guy said, “You never say sorry. It makes you look weak.” But a man’s sneakers were sacred in the hood, and I sure as hell never looked for a fight — unless I was channeling big brother.

He loved throwing the first punch and bragged about knocking guys out cold at night clubs — until a near death experience and one hundred and fifty stitches thanks to razor blade slashes made him reconsider his life choices. I’ll never forget when the call came in the middle of the night. I don’t remember why I answered the phone instead of my parents, but the voice on the other end is clear as day, “Your brother has been stabbed.” At that moment I thought the worst, and was relieved to see him gingerly walking through the door later that morning, battered, bruised and slashed to bits — but alive.

When I pretended to be my brother, I wasn’t above throwing a preemptive strike. We all had it in us. Hell, my dad was known to go into some destructive ass kicking rages when people pissed him off. I certainly tried my best not to get on his sizable bad side. Mom and sis aren’t exactly shrinking violets either.

My recurring nightmare as a child was of me walking down a beautiful tree lined street, the very one I always wanted to live on. It was only a few blocks from our shithole, but felt like a world away. In the dream, as I reluctantly step, there is the overwhelming feeling that someone is hiding in the shadows, waiting to attack. I’m petrified to move forward, but I keep going — slowly heading toward the inevitable. It was terrifying torture.

I don’t remember ever actually seeing the attacker. I’ve attached a bunch of meaning to that dream ever since, but at the root was my fear. For most of my life I moved forward, steadily but fearfully. I did things that made me want to shit my pants and forced my way through, hating every minute. In retrospect, these all helped build toughness and character, as did my old neighborhood, but the fear persisted. I became a bouncer, champion bodybuilder and an expert martial artist, but felt like a fraud for the unease that was my base level.

It wasn’t until I took these seven steps that terror’s grip on me loosened. Fear doesn’t have to be your enemy. If you learn how to use it, it will energize your actions and help you break past limitations. But first, you have to acknowledge that it’s there.

Accept that you and everyone you know will die. There’s no way around it. Yeah, it’s bleak, but if you wanna live in denial of death, you’re liable to swallow a bunch of bullshit to ease your mind. At its core, all fear is fear of death. When I was a kid, I hated when anyone brought up dying, especially my parents. The uncertainty was too overwhelming. There’s nothing more worthless than fear of the inevitable. It took me a couple of years of suicidal depression, meditation and time in sensory deprivation tanks to get comfortable with the idea of not existing. The tank feels like you’re floating in the womb. It’s pitch black, soundproof and the water is the same temperature as your body, so it feels lke there’s no separation. You and the enviornment become one. It’s blissfully peacful. Sure, I don’t want to die right now because I’m loving life, but I know it will happen one day — and I hope to enjoy that ride as much as I’m enjoying this one.

You’re not your personality. It’s easy to feel like a single, solitary soul drifting in a vast sea of faces. Valuing our individuality as we do, many of us strive to be unique while others do their best to blend into the collective. The way I see it, we’re all the current that powers these appliances we call our bodies. I feel like I’ve lived several separate lives filled with rich, distinct experiences and at the end of each, I mourned the death of an identity. While it feels like I was different people, the throughline was the same. The real me didn’t change. Our personalities are just things made up by our circumstances. They’re the features of the toaster. We’re the electricity that makes it work. I had to lose everything I had built to figure that one out. Once my marriage, home, business, students, money and identity were gone, it was just me — I had to be OK with that.

Your ego is not your life. Learning how to lose isn’t about being resound to failure. Losing is vital because it’s the only way to discover that life will go on when you do. The first time I lost something when I was sure I’d win was devastating. Everything I believed about myself was shattered. My invincibility was gone. Once I realized that defeat wasn’t death and the people that mattered would love me either way, I began to enjoy every aspect of competition instead of only focusing on the result. It wasn’t until I stopped giving a shit that things clicked. Being afraid of the embarrassment of failure is guaranteed to keep you from enjoying success.

Forgive your fear. Far worse than being afraid was my sense of shame. I hated that I wasn’t brave, like the thugs in my neighborhood. To me, being tough meant never being scared. As I became dedicated to martial arts and more interested in understanding fear, I realized that all those guys were probably just as scared as me. It would have been abnormal for me not to be afraid. The environment was so consistently charged with the potential for violence that I frequently lived in a survival state. Getting out unscaved would have taken a level of psychopathy I didn’t possess. When I forgave the little kid I was for being afraid, the shame melted away and the residual fear soon followed.

Whatever happens, everything always works out. You always know you’re in the right place because that’s where you are. No matter what, the world will keep moving on. It will do the same thing it’s doing now when you’re gone. You don’t need to worry quite so much about making the wrong choice when you accept that it doesn’t really matter what choice you make. Yes, of course you matter, your family will miss you and you’re a beautiful soul — all that jazz. But in the end, the world will continue to unfold, and the Earth will be incinirated by the sun — so fuck it. Embrace the experience but don’t cling to any result.

Step up. A sure fire way to kick fear’s ass is to look it in the eye and blow it a kiss. Fear is a bully. It’s all talk. It will try to shout you down until you grovel your way back to mediocrity. Pick something you’re afraid of and do it! Don’t try to not be afraid. Be afraid and do it anyway. But here’s the important part: Smile while you’re doing it. For me, it was roller coasters. I hated them as a kid. They terrified me, and each time I got on one, I regretted every click up to the top. The thought was always the same, “Why did I get talked into this? Let me off!” I never enjoyed the ride, closing my eyes tight and clenching my body until the hellish few seconds was over. One day, I decided that roller coasters represented the fear I wanted to conquer, so I got on the legendary Cyclone. It’s the old, rickety wooden monster at Coney Island in Brooklyn. The thing screeched a death knell and I loved it! I forced myself to smile from the moment I sat in the seat. I told myself that if that car came off the track, I was gonna soak in my final moments. I was sick and tired of being afraid of fear. My mindset shifted, and the click clack became excitement and anticipation instead of anxiety and fear. Funny how those can feel the same.

If you wanna take it a step further, start embracing pain. It may sound a little masochistic, but I like to stare at the needle when it goes in at the doctor. I like going to the dentist. They both used to scare the shit out of me. Even though I had always sought out the painful burn of a brutal workout, it was the pain I deemed unwanted that I sought to relabel. Smiling at the dentist or laughing after my knee was popped back into place in training were not ways to prove to myself that my body was tough, but that my mind was strong. The anticipation of pain is normally much worse than the physical sensation. Change the way you see pain and the way you interpret the sensation will transform

Of course, no one is fearless — unless they’re a psychopath. Fear will always be with you. It’s what you do with it that determines how far you go. The fluttering in your belly is a sign to take action that scares you because it will force you to grow. The quicker your pulse, the bigger the potential change. Don’t deny your fear. Jump on, throw your hands up and enjoy the beautifully terrifying thrill ride.

#mind #body #mindset #motivation #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #wellness #coach #internaljiujitsu #awareness #mindfulness #fear #fearless #competition #Performance Anxiety