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one-abuse-survivor · 10 months

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I'm coming on here to say that I am currently struggling and suffering with an abusive sister

Except she is the younger one.

We're only two years apart but that's still two years I am older than her. And she is verbally abusive, especially to me and our mum. But mostly me. She says horrible stuff to me and screams at me over nothing. Just half an hour ago she went off screaming at me because I forgot to bring back the heat protection hairspray from holiday, and I'm still feeling triggered, it's like my ears ring with her screams.

People talk a lot about abusive parents, and horrible older siblings who were bigger and stronger and beat you up as children. No one talks about when the abuse comes from a younger sister and that being verbal abuse. Neither of us are children too.

I still hear the screams ring my ears....

I'm really sorry you're going through this, nonnie. I agree with you: it's vital to talk about abuse that comes from people who seem like they shouldn't easily have power over you, like people who are younger than you. And we don't do it enough, as a society.

Your abuse is real and it matters. Your trauma is real and it matters. Power dynamics are complex and based on an infinity of factors, and the fact your sister is younger than you doesn't mean you have it any easier or better than other abuse victims.

And verbal abuse is just as horrible as every other kind of abuse. No one deserves to go through what your sister is putting you through, and you deserve to get very far away from her if you have the ability to do so.

Sending all my support your (and your mum's) way ❤️

#Ask #Abuse #Abuse tw #Abusive sister #Abusive sibling #Verbal abuse tw #Verbal abuse

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danineedsanap · 2 years

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Everybody’s always like “yea!🥺 set ur boundaries bb🥺🥺” and they’re never like “ oh hey btw it’s gonna hurt like hell and ur gonna wonder if it’s the right choice”

#ha ha ouch #ouchie #toxic family #bad family #abusive sister #I told my mom I will not be visiting home if she’s there #gonna miss em like hell but I respect myself #staying with my aunt for holidays #wish me luck besties #boutta take a 13 hour car ride with everyone #I love being the punching bag of the family #not

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xiewho · 1 month

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complaining about high elves and sharing inside job gossip. the sisters ever actually

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #adaine abernant #aelwyn abernant #fhjy #d20 #looking @ my art is like art style roulette #will i render next time? will i abuse the lasso tool? stay tuned !#i love the abernant sisters they are everything 2 me #dimension 20 fanart #also im madly in love with aelywn. just so u guys r aware #my art

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2000sbigbr0 · 5 months

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Having a mean older brother that forces you to watch scary movies because seeing your scared face makes him hard >>>>>

#1cky br0ther #fauxcest #sibcest #sister x brother #brother x brother #ftm nsft #mtf nsft #trans nsft #ftm dom #dacryphilia #abuse k1nk

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glow-worms-are-believers · 6 months

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Full Baby Back Guarantee Not Included (dp x dc)

“Look, lady. It was a joke, ok? I don’t actually want your newborn baby,” Danny said as he held up his hands trying to back away from the woman with a bundle of blankets in her arms.

“We made a deal, you can’t back out now,” The woman said as she narrowed her eyes at him. “Your kind can’t break their words.”

“My kind?” Danny exclaimed incredulously, because what the hell was she on. “Lady, you are delusional.”

Then his eyes caught on the awkward way the woman was holding onto the bundle and he frowned.

“Wait a second.” The halfa’s eyes went big. “Is that even your kid?!” his voice turning into a shriek at the end. “Did you kidnap some random child?”

“It’s my sister’s,” the woman cut him off coldly. “She and the father are both dead.” That was pretty awful, Danny thought as he winced. But then she turned to look blankly at him.

“Nobody will look for her.”

Dear skies above, he was supposed to be the ghost here, why was he the one getting chills.

“Holy fuck,” the halfa let out softly.

He had to get that baby away from that psychopath.

“What is it you want again?” Danny asked faintly.

“Make me the new chief operating officer,” the woman answered.

“What?” The halfa choked out.

“They’re giving the position to Shwartz this monday. You need to make sure that doesn’t happen,” she continued evenly as if she wasn’t currently selling a baby in exchange for a fucking promotion.

“Yeah sure, deal,” Danny answered, eager to get away from her as soon as possible.

“Give me your word,” she insisted.

“I give my word, I swear,” the halfa said. “Gimme the kid and you’ll get your job.”

The woman looked at him for a second before seemingly being satisfied.

She extended the bundle of blankets towards him and handed him the swaddle baby. As soon as the kid was in his arms, Danny zipped away, fully intent on never seeing the woman again. He sure as hell was not getting her that promotion. Not that he would’ve been able to, what the hell, lady? At least research better before making a deal for your sister's baby!

Though in retrospect, it was a good thing she hadn't.

As Danny flew over a few buildings, he thanked the ancients the woman hadn’t had any ghost restraining tech, and only the summoning ritual. Which was a thing he had not been aware existed but he he would have to circle back to that because, right now, he had a whole ass baby nestled in his arms.

What the hell was his life.

Danny slowed down the flight once he felt he had put enough distance between them and the psycho and landed on a nice patch of green next to a road. He looked around and took notice that they’d gotten out of whatever that city had been, or at least the more populated part. He gave a quick look for people or cameras around before de-transforming. If he was spotted with a baby in his arms, his human look would help his chance of not getting shot.

The halfa started walking away from the road and towards the green vegetation. Still walking, he took a deep breath before looking down at the baby.

“You ok, kid?” Danny asked softly as their small (so so tiny!) face twitched in their sleep. “Oh you’re sleepy, huh?” he murmured gently. “Sleep tight sweetheart, I’ve got you.”

Then he secured the blankets around the baby again, making sure none of the wind was reaching her. It was probably a her? The blankets were pink but he couldn’t know for sure since the psycho had only called her an it. Danny felt his lips curl. And as the night replayed in his mind, he felt the weight of the situation settle down on him.

Ancients what was he going to do?

He couldn’t pull up in Amity with a baby in his arms and no explanation of how he got her. He’d be arrested for kidnapping, which was technically absolutely what he was doing. But then again he couldn't just give that baby back to her aunt.

“What are you doing here?” came a voice from ahead of him.

Danny startled out of his thoughts to find himself facing an older man in a suit with a severe look on his face. The halfa instinctively brought the baby closer to his chest and the movement drew the older man’s eyes towards it.

Danny could see the realization of what it was he was holding settle and the man's face softened. He sighed deeply as his gaze went back up to meet the halfa’s.

“Despite what the media fancy printing, Wayne manor is not actually an orphanage.”

Danny had no idea what he was talking about so he just stayed silent and did his best not to look like someone who kidnapped babies.

The older man took the silence in stride. “If you need some help, there are programs to help young people in your situation,” he continued delicately.

Danny frowned as he tried to figure out what the guy meant by that before his eyes grew wide. “I’m not her dad!” He cried.

“I see,” the man said evenly as he looked back down at the bundle. Danny held her closer in response. “I see,” the guy repeated with a slight change in his voice.

The two held each other’s gaze for a moment before the older man sighed again.

“Shall we continue this inside? It is getting windy and we wouldn’t want the little one to suffer, would we?” The man offered in a soothing tone.

Danny hesitated but one look at the kid’s face that had grown pink from the cold decided him.

“Ok,” Danny said. “Lead the way.”

And with that the three of them started across the grassy lawn.

#Alfred think the baby is Danny's sibling and they ran away from an abusive household #I know this is all tropes that have been done before but dammit I'm doing them again #The batam trying to be in denial of the imminent new addition to the family or unsurprised and way too chill about it #Danny thinking he's found an ally into getting himself kicked out with Damian #only for Damian to get attached to the baby and then refuse to let Danny abandon his “sister”#Danny trying to get out of this mess of lies without letting it out that he 1) is not human 2) has totally kidnapped that baby #dc x dp #dp x dc #roxpoxwrote #roxpox

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dreamyintersexpuppy · 1 month

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with another wave of accusations against transfems happening i’d like to furiouslykindly advise you to think about what you’re doing if you spread any callout posts, wether you think they’re true or not. and if you still think it’s a good idea to perpetuate a culture that reactionary dogpiles on transfems just because you think they’re “icky” and can’t see through your own transmisogyny kindly save everyone time and fucking block me or add me to the list or whatever, anything that keeps you asses away from my blog and the transfems around me who do not and no matter what will never deserve what you do to them

#i’m fucking angry rn i’m so sick of this shit #my wife is watching xer own community flirt with mra talking points and transmisogyny #and i have to watch my sisters get systematically banned left and right #and the largest response most of you fuckers are have is to go chasing after the next transfem you can isolate and abuse #if you get to be disgusted with us i get to say that kind of behavior is fucking vile #and comes from the same place where conservatives are getting their blatantly genocidal talking points #and you won’t escape it by throwing us into the meatgrinder because we will fucking live we have to #love every transfem you meet before it’s too late

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pynkhues · 11 months

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There's something to the picture that all this season and the release of the first three seasons' scripts have painted of Logan and Caroline's divorce not as one of maternal abandonment, but one of maternal dislocation and suffocating abuse that's ruining me right now.

The way Caroline tried to take her children and flee in the dead of the night to Morocco, the way Logan took meetings with every worth-its-salt law firm in the city to cut off Caroline's access to them, wielding the legal system like an axe to an umbilical cord, the way Caroline's one recourse was to try and keep their position in the company, to keep them with something even if she gave it away later as they rejected her in adulthood. The way she stayed for their adolescence in New York even as Logan froze her out, the way she had to bargain for Christmas even in their adulthood, the way she sat in the pews with the rest of the women Logan loved and hurt and discarded while her children cried, with no tools or ability to comfort them, the way she sat as her son wrote her out of her own motherhood as he gave their father sole credit in creating them, stood opposite her daughter as she told her she wouldn't see it, i'm just gonna do it the family way like it was on Caroline and not their father, that she never got to see them.

Something about the way it feels like Logan trained them how to bark at her scent, to make sure she stayed away from the door.

#this is not to say caroline is a good mother #she's not #but she's a victim as much of the rest of them are #and idk #maybe i'm just particularly attune to this at the moment as my ex bil has been using the legal system to abuse my sister and their children #all of it's just #right there #caroline collingwood #hbo succession #succession 4.09 #succession spoilers

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strangedramacandy · 7 months

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Twinning isn't everything

#total drama series #3rd gen cast #Samantha #Sammy #Samey #tdroti #younger twin #older twin #abusive sister #abusive bitch for a older sister #Amy #Twins #Twin siblings #twin sisters #Season 5 part 2 #tdpi

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one-abuse-survivor · 2 years

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hi! hope you're okay. i was wondering if you have any advice for dealing with being afraid of angry people? i was abused by my older sister throughout my childhood + early teen years. i cut her off a year ago, but bc of her abuse i'm terrified of loud noises, shouting, and anger in general. whenever my parents/people around me are angry, i revert to not talking and being as quiet as possible (like i did when i was being abused). do you have any tips? thank you so much!

Hi, anon! I'm okay, thank you 😊 I'm really glad your sister is no longer in your life, and sorry she put you through this for so long.

When you go through abuse, it’s not unusual for loud noises and anger to become a trigger. The brain has learned to associate those things with unsafety and with a very real threat of abuse, which is why, at the time the abuse was happening, it was a good thing that the survival/PTSD reaction appeared, because going into survival mode was what kept you alive and protected you from harm. I’m sure you know this, but going into survival mode can look many different ways: fight, flight, freeze and fawn reactions are the ones usually talked about. Reverting to not talking and going quiet sounds like going into freeze mode, which happens when the survival/emotional brain decides the best way to keep us safe from harm is to not move, not make a noise, and hope the angry people will forget we’re present.

The problem is, when you’re not going through abuse anymore, this reaction your brain developed to survive doesn’t just switch off. Our brain keeps following the same patterns, and what was once life-saving during abuse becomes life-destroying in recovery.

I personally think the best way to learn to manage PTSD and trauma reactions is through therapy, if that’s something you can and want to do. Other than that, the advice I can give you is based on personal experience as a fellow survivor.

That being said, I think the first step to learning how to handle this sort of trauma reaction is to learn to recognise when it’s happening. Even if we rationally know we struggle with trauma reactions, it can be really hard to realise that’s what’s happening when it’s actually happening, because the brain has become an expert at getting caught up in the way it’s reading the situation. That’s why it’s important to train yourself to notice when you’re going quiet, or when you’re experiencing fear (or anxiety, or guilt, or any similar emotion) around an angry person or a loud noise.

Once you notice you’re having an emotional, trauma reaction, it’s important to acknowledge it for what it is. Practise countering your emotions with rational statements, such as:

I’m having a trauma reaction.

I’m not in danger. I feel in danger because of the situations I’ve been in in the past, but I’m safe now.

I’m here and now, not there and then. (Remind yourself of the date or your age if you want to, or of anything else that has changed since the abuse happened).

The person who’s shouting or who’s expressing their anger around me won’t hurt me the way my sister did. I know this because they’ve been angry before, and they didn’t hurt me those other times.

What I just heard was a loud noise. They happen sometimes. It's okay that they scare me, but it doesn't mean I'm going to get hurt. Not anymore.

Emotional thoughts are usually way faster and louder than rational ones inside our minds, so it can be really helpful to not only think these statements to yourself, but to say them out loud or write them down. That way they can’t be overpowered by the emotional ones.

Additionally, if the person who’s shouting or angry is someone you trust and who knows what you went through as a kid, it can also help to not keep quiet about the trauma reaction you’re having. It doesn’t have to be this big, scary, unspeakable thing if you don't want it to. It can be something to be open and honest about. You’re allowed to ask for help if you need it. This can look like asking the other person for a time-out: you can say something along the lines of “hey, I don’t mind listening to you express your anger, but I need some reassurance that I’m safe, because my trauma is acting up”. If you can’t talk in those moments, you can still come up with a sign (written, gestural...) to let the other person know you’re having a trauma reaction. Even sending them a text or writing down what you wanna say in a phone note and showing them it can work. Then, the other person can reassure you they're not about to hurt you, and you can communicate about how they can express themselves without scaring you. As an example of how that might work, you could both try to have them vent while holding your hand.

Another important step to take is to learn to treat yourself with compassion when you notice you're freezing. It’s easy to judge ourselves for our trauma reactions, but more often than not, this will result in us spiralling further and feeling worse, and that’s the opposite of what we want. So when you do notice you’re freezing, remind yourself it’s not your fault this is happening and it’s okay to be this scared and quiet. It’s not something to be ashamed of or freaked out about; it’s your body trying its hardest to keep you safe, and it needs you to teach it that this is no longer the way to be safe. Treat yourself like you would a scared kid who still doesn't know how to manage that fear: with reassurance, with gentle words, and with patience.

But beyond the mental and verbal strategies (noticing, rationalising, verbalising, being compassionate), there are also physical tools you can use to coax your body out of survival mode. Here are some that might help:

Diaphragm breathing: it’s important to know how to do it right, but, in a nutshell, it’s breathing with your belly instead of your chest, slowly and deeply, in through your nose and out through your mouth. This is like a reset button for the body’s nervous system, but it takes a while to get it right, so you need to practise often for it to be helpful.

Grounding techniques: there are many techniques, and they may involve any or all five senses. You can focus on all the [colour] things you can notice around you. You can name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell and one you can taste. You can press your feet against the floor rhythmically, first your toes, then your heels, noticing how it feels under your feet. You can stand up and push a wall with all your strength as if to make the room you’re in bigger. Some people hold ice, taste lemon/sour candy/spicy food, smell something strong, or do anything else that will bring the body a (harmless) shocking enough sensation to pull them away from their thoughts. Personally, the techniques that help me the most are touch-related, which is why stim toys really help.

Muscle relaxation: if you notice yourself going tense, try noticing which parts of your body are in tension and relaxing one set of muscles with each breath out.

These techniques can make your emotions ebb enough not to be overwhelming. If that happens, it’s important not to push the emotions away or try to suppress them. It’s okay to sit with them and acknowledge them, observe them with curiosity and acceptance. It’s hard to find, but there is a middle ground between letting an emotion dominate you and pushing it away, and it's to regard your emotions with non-judgemental acknowledgement. If you do this, you can notice how they can come and go without saying anything about you, or without you having to do anything about them. At the same time, once the emotion stops being overwhelming, you may find it easier to move and talk and to feel back in the moment again.

I hope some of this helps! Please remember it's okay if my advice isn't what's best for you.

Sending a virtual hug ❤️

#abusive sister anon #ask #Abuse #Abuse tw #Abusive sister #Ptsd #Ptsd tw #Trauma tw #trauma recovery #Freeze response #Fight flight freeze and fawn

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