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#absolutely no concept that it was never a romance to begin with! and yet the genre strictures still . somehow . apply
cinnamostar · 4 months
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01: self-fulfilling prophecy 
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part two.
pairing : jisung x gn!reader
summary : han jisung, the man who is incapable of maintaining a relationship for more than a few months. han jisung, the man who is in complete denial that maybe he is the problem. han jisung, the man who has convinced himself he isn’t meant for love.
wc : 8.5k
cw : not proof read, nonidol!au, alcohol/drinking, sadness, angst, arguing, cursing, some cute stuff. plz let me know if i missed anything.
a/n : likes, reblogs, and feedback is much appreciated!! not too confident on this one because idk, i feel like the dialogue isn’t well executed, but let me know what you think. please enjoy!
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Jisung didn’t exactly have the best track record when it came to romance. He never did anything exceedingly horrendous, he always remained faithful in each relationship he had, but they never lasted long. He simply didn’t know how to be a good partner, always too focused on his own needs to the point that his selfishness turned into emotional neglect for the other. 
It’s not that he didn’t like the people he dated. He genuinely adored them for who they were, yet he always found himself heartbroken and confused at the end of each relationship when they would all voice the same exact reasonings on why they were ending it. 
“I just don’t feel like you care about my feelings.”
“It feels like you don’t even like me enough to put in the effort to make this work.”
“I don’t feel like a priority in your life.”
“I swear you forget we’re even in a relationship.”
“You’re too focused on yourself and everything else to even make time for me.”
Like clockwork, a few months would pass by and his partner would sit him down for the break up talk. It was exhausting. He was clueless, not having any idea what he was doing so wrong even though he would always receive a list of reasons each time. In his eyes, he was doing the best he could, but perhaps his best was not enough. 
Of course he cared for their feelings! Of course he liked them, he could’ve sworn he was doing his damnedest. Not a priority? That was ridiculous, he always made time to spend with his partner during the week despite his busy schedule. Forget? Nonsense! Too focused on himself? Well, of course he was focused on pursuing his music career which required long hours at the studio, why would he want to be with someone who didn’t support his endeavors? They knew what they were getting into when they met him!
It made zero sense to Jisung. At some point, he had given up on love altogether. Maybe he just wasn’t meant for it, maybe relationships were just not his thing. Clearly, he was doing something wrong and he decided that maybe hook up culture was just where he belonged. 
What Jisung failed to realize was that he was forcing his own ideals of a relationship onto his partners. The idea that people had different needs and perceptions on how relationships should function never dawned on him. He never thought to consider what the other person wanted and had simply assumed they would be content with whatever he had to offer. 
He forgot that some people needed more reassurance. He forgot some people wanted to go on actual dates, not everyone considered a night in a date, especially if every date was a night in. He forgot that some people didn’t just want to sit in a room with him while he was on his phone or working on his next project. Sometimes people wanted his undivided attention. Sometimes people wanted to be able to hold a conversation with him. Sometimes people needed more communication because quite frankly, three texts a day didn’t quite cut it for most people.
Yet, Jisung was too absorbed in his own world and his passions to even begin to understand that concept. He absolutely refused to believe he was doing something wrong and that he was just dating the wrong people this whole time. He just hadn’t found the one, right?
Despite that foolish belief he stubbornly held onto, it didn’t mean each instance didn’t take a hit on his ego. After the many failed relationships he had been through, the fear of inadequacy and insecurity began to creep into his mind. Was he not worthy of love? Was he incapable of forming a healthy relationship? Was something wrong with him?
He felt that he had so much love to offer in his heart, but he had no idea what it took to be a good partner. He was too tunnel visioned on producing and music to realize that sometimes, love and relationships required a bit of sacrifice, and that was something he refused to do.
Yet, Jisung wanted to fall in love. Like any other human on earth, he craved to love and be loved, to be understood wordlessly by someone else, but it seemed like love didn’t welcome him with open arms. He desperately wanted to feel like he was needed and wanted, to feel the bubbling shyness and giddiness that only love could give him, but somehow, it seemed that he was the victim of a paradox. Love hated him.
However, Jisung had resigned and accepted defeat. He wasn’t cut out for it. Besides, it’s not like anyone would even bother to give him a chance anymore. After a few failed relationships, people were quick to label him as ‘trash’ and a terrible boyfriend, only good for fun, but definitely nothing more. It was almost as if he had a permanent warning label above his head that scared off anyone who had any remote interest in him. 
People talked. And if anyone so much expressed any interest in him, someone would leap in to rescue them from a foreseeable heartbreak, telling them he was no good and a waste of time. Oh, but if you wanted a few nights of fun and to just fool around, he was perfect for that, but never, and absolutely under no circumstances, was he someone to settle down with. 
He was the only one to blame for his infamy in the dating scene, but Jisung was suffering from a case of extreme delusion and oblivion. Maybe one day he would lose that self-centered immaturity and have a much needed epiphany, but that day seemed far off in the future.
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For the past week, Jisung had holed himself in his studio, insistent on perfecting his latest track by some arbitrary deadline he had set for himself. This was a regular occurrence that his friends had gotten used to. They would be more surprised if this didn’t happen, but this also meant that they had to pay a visit to his studio every few days and force him to take a break for the sake of his mental and physical health. 
Today was one of those days in which Minho came knocking at his door after unlocking the door with the passcode Jisung had given him long ago, reminding him to come by his place later that night for a small party to celebrate his dance troop’s recent competition win. While Jisung was proud of this achievement, part of him felt a tad bit annoyed that he had to interrupt his work schedule for someone else, but Minho was one of his best friends, he at the very least should show up for a bit. He could stay for an hour or two, and hopefully by then everyone would be a little too drunk to notice he had escaped back to his studio.
Jisung sighed as he begrudgingly made his way to Minho’s apartment, dreading the amount of people he would have to socialize with tonight. He was relieved to know that a few familiar faces would be there, such as Hyunjin and Felix, who were also part of the troop, but the team had also gone through auditions recently, meaning there would be people he would have to meet for the first time.
He wasn’t one for befriending strangers, as oftentimes, many of them had a negative impression of him due to his dating history. He hated how every time he introduced himself, as soon as the words “Han Jisung” left his mouth, people’s faces would drop into an unreadable expression, almost as if they were disappointed to finally meet the man who was rumored to be complete and utter trash. It was anxiety-inducing and turned him off from seeking out new friendships because everyone would always say “Oh! Did you used to date my friend?” And at that moment, he knew it was over. They hated him before they even got to know him. As a result, Jisung always felt apprehensive when it came to meeting new people and he much preferred sticking with his small circle of friends. 
As Jisung arrived at the front steps of Minho’s apartment, he felt his shoulders tense up with trepidation as he subconsciously bit the inside of his cheek. The party had already started with the music blaring throughout the building, the lights dimmed with colorful LEDs visible from the window. A chorus of joyful cheers followed by the clinking of shot glasses and laughter could be heard from outside, signaling that the party was already in full swing. Jisung let out an uneasy groan, unprepared for what the night would bring, but reassured himself knowing that he only needed to stay for at least an hour before he could retreat back to the safe haven known as his studio.
After a sharp inhale, Jisung put on a fake smile as he opened the door, instantly greeted by a drunken Changbin who was double fisting two beers, wearing a toothy smile.
“Jisung! You made it!”
The last thing Jisung wanted tonight was to be put in the spotlight, which Changbin just unknowingly thrust him into with no warning. Others nearby turned their attention to the front door, some choosing to ignore Jisung’s presence to continue their conversations while others politely waved or called out a quick hello. 
Minho shortly appeared in Jisung’s vision, grinning from ear to ear as he pulled him into a one-armed hug, “Glad you showed up, I was worried you forgot!” An airy chuckle escaped Minho as Jisung gasped, feigning a look of betrayal while playfully shoving Minho’s shoulder, “How dare you think I’d forget my best friend’s party? I would never!”
Minho rolled his eyes at Jisung’s gesture before dragging him by his wrist. “Whatever you say, but c’mon! I want you to meet our new members. Plus, you look a little too stiff for my liking,so  let's get some drinks in ya first.”
Suddenly, shot glasses filled with tequila were shoved into Jisung’s hand as people egged him on to down them, chasing the two shots with lime and salt to cut through the harshness of the alcohol. A familiar buzz took over his senses, his head feeling lighter than usual as a lopsided smile appeared on his face while the nervousness he felt earlier quickly dissipated. 
The bit of liquid courage energized Jisung enough to forget all the now seemingly silly concerns he had earlier as he jumped through the bunches of people, excitedly yapping away as he caught up with friends and introduced himself to new people. Each time he noticed someone cringing at the sound of his name or giving him a dirty look, he would promptly take another shot to rid himself of the anxiety he was feeling, hoping the alcohol would make him just unaware enough of any other glares he would receive from people that night.
Eventually, Jisung made his way to the loft upstairs to take a break from the hectic party below, already feeling a headache coming on. He stumbled his way to the couch, not paying much mind to his surroundings as he plopped himself onto the couch, immediately throwing his head back while shutting his eyes.
“Oh, he definitely overdid it again,” laughed Felix from the left of him, “How many shots did you take?”
Jisung waved his hand as if he was shooing Felix away while mumbling, “Don’t even ask.”
He heard an unfamiliar giggle erupt from the right side of him, causing him to sit straight up with his eyes wide, hastily snapping his head to see who the laugh belonged to, not expecting anyone other than his friends here.
He found himself staring into your eyes that were crinkled from laughing, a lax smile adorning your face as you brought up a hand to hide behind. Your laugh was rich and decadent, almost as sweet as chocolate, and your smile was so refreshing that it instantly roused him from his drunken state the moment his eyes landed on you.
Oh, shit, they’re cute.
Jisung’s inebriated state had caused him to lose all self-awareness because all he could do was gawk at you with enamored eyes, his lips slightly parted as he struggled to find the words to introduce himself. He felt his face flush from embarrassment when you returned his gaze while wearing an expectant expression, patiently waiting for him to finish his sentence.
“I- Oh, uhm, I…”
You had instantly captured his heart with the most saccharine smile he has ever seen and within a few seconds, Jisung was undeniably smitten, but he was also completely making a fool of himself within those same few seconds.
“Jesus christ, Jisung, how drunk are you?” howled Hyunjin, who had gotten up to lightly poke Jisung’s cheek, “Helloooo, earth to Jisung? Anyone home?”
“Dude… Close your mouth before you start drooling over there. I don’t think that’s an image you want Y/N to have during your first meeting,” Seungmin, who was sitting on the floor, mischievously sneered, quickly recognizing Jisung’s speechless state was caused by something more than just alcohol. Jisung shook his head side to side to wake himself from his lovestruck daze, clearing his throat in an attempt to cover up Seungmin’s comment. 
“Mm, sorry! I just-,” 
Oh, this is bad, he really is making this so much worse for himself. He was now regretting all the shots from earlier as he tripped over his words, his nerves not being of any help. He desperately was trying to say something sensible, but instead, all he could blurt out was,
“Jisung! I’m Jisung… yeah!”
Now it is a lot worse as Jisung cringed at how loud and annoying his voice was, everyone else also seemingly cowering from second hand embarrassment as they watched the scene unfold, but no one was able to peel their eyes away.
Like an angel sent from heaven, Felix decided to have mercy on the brown haired boy, peeking out from behind Jisung to meet your eyes at the other side of the couch. “Y/N, this is our friend Jisung! He makes music with Changbin and Chan. Jisung, this is Y/N. They’re one of our newest members on the team.” God, Jisung could kiss Felix right now from how relieved he was to have alleviated the awkward tension he had just created moments earlier.
You nodded, smiling at Jisung as your eyes lit up in realization, “Oh, Jisung? I’ve heard about you before.”
Ah, there it is. Of course! Of course you have and how stupid of him to think he’d be able to have an untarnished first impression with you and-
“Minho says so many good things about you! He even showed me some of your songs. You’re really talented at what you do, I definitely added a few to my playlist.”
Someone pinch Jisung right now because he must be dreaming, there’s absolutely no way. Is luck finally on his side? Has God finally decided to be oh-so-merciful today? He was on cloud nine as he relished in your compliments, savoring this moment because this may never happen again.
Jisung clicked his teeth as he waved both his hands in front of him with a flustered smile, “Oh, no, no, no, I am not that good! But thank you!” The alcohol was really doing a number on him as he slurred over each syllable, but thankfully he was coherent enough for everyone to understand what he said. 
You let out a breathy laugh at his antics while standing from your seat, “Well, it's nice to finally put a face to the name, but I do have to go now, I have to be up early.”
Jisung deflated as everyone wished you good night, feeling disappointed how quickly your first meeting with him ended. Hyunjin stood up, offering to walk you out and once you were out of earshot, Jisung whipped his head to Felix.
“Felix… Who was that? How long have you been hiding them from me?”
Seungmin struggled to contain his laugh, earning a confused look from Jisung, “What are you laughing at?”
“Dude, you. You looked so stupid trying to talk to them.”
Jisung threw himself back into the couch, sinking into the cushions with an embarrassed groan, “Shut up, I know.”
Felix laughed, shooting Jisung a pitiful smile, “You’ve done worse, it’s fine. And no one was hiding them from you, you just never show up when we invite you anywhere. That is your own fault, not ours!” Jisung pouted, cursing himself mentally for rejecting all those plans.
“They’re cool, they’ve been on our team for a few months. Crazy good at dancing too, we are super lucky to have them.”
“Are they dating anyone?”
The room grew quiet at Jisung’s question as Seungmin and Felix looked at each other with uneasiness, unsure how to respond. Hyunjin had come back up the stairs after walking you to your car, just in time to hear Jisung. He let out a heavy sigh, alerting everyone of his presence.
“I… I think it's best if you just leave them alone, Jisung. They’re a really sweet person and you, well…”
“Me what? What do you mean?” Jisung furrowed his eyebrows at Hyunjin as the taller boy struggled to finish his thought.
“Just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why?”
“Seriously, Jisung? I know you’re wasted right now, but don’t make me say it. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
And he did, he knew that Hyunjin was referring to his dating history, but Jisung felt himself growing angry hearing his friend allude to him being a bad partner, suggesting he would hurt you. 
“No, I want to hear you say it,” Jisung spat out, a scowl painted all over his face as he stared down Hyunjin with his arms crossed, who was still standing by the stairs. He felt himself become warm in frustration as all the insecurities he held close to his heart started to bubble up. Did his own friend’s think so poorly of him too?
Felix reached out to put a reassuring hand on Jisung’s shoulder, hoping to defuse the situation, “Let’s not do this right now. You’re still drunk, Jisung.” Jisung shook Felix’s hand off his shoulders, standing up while still glaring at Hyunjin with clenched fists. 
“Say it.”
“Jisung-” warned Felix, but he was cut off by Seungmin.
“You’re a shit boyfriend, Jisung. We don’t need you hurting someone we’re friends with again.”
The room was silent as everyone now stared at Seungmin with wide eyes, startled at how blunt he was being. Jisung didn’t know what he was feeling as a flash of rage took over his body, but at the same time, he felt his heart drop hearing those words come out of his own friend’s mouth. It was now Hyunjin’s turn to butt in,
“Seungmin, stop-”
“No, he needs to hear it straight up. He fucking sucks and you all know I’m right. I’m tired of him acting like he isn’t the problem. Leave Y/N alone. They’re better off without you.”
Jisung felt hot tears well up in his eyes as he took in every one of Seungmin’s words, each casting daggers into his heart. His worst nightmares were coming true as he realized that it wasn’t just strangers and ex-lovers who viewed in such a negative light, but the people he trusted so much, his own friends, also thought the same of him. The fury laced in Seungmin’s voice cut Jisung deep as every syllable pushed him over the edge til Jisungfound himself falling into a pit of sadness and hurt, his stomach flipping onto itself on his way down.
Was he really that bad? Wait, no! How dare Seungmin say such a thing to him? What does Seungmin even know about Jisung’s past relationship? He was stepping out of line! The sadness instantly subsided, soon being replaced with a familiar feeling of denial and anger as Jisung stomped towards Seungmin, crouching down to meet him on the floor. Jisung sloppily grabbed Seungmin by the collar of his shirt, pulling him close to his face.
“What the fuck did you just say? Take it back right fucking now,” growled Jisung, venom dropping down from each word.
Seungmin rolled his eyes, pushing the drunken boy off him who stumbled backwards, “See, this right here is your problem. You can’t even begin to accept that you’re in the wrong.” Seungmin stood up, now looking down at Jisung who still hadn’t regained his balance. He took in an exasperated inhale, a subdued smile replacing the vexed look he just had as he softened his tone, “Look, Jisung. I love and care for you, but I cannot turn a blind eye and let you hurt someone else. I mean it. Leave them alone.” With that, Seungmin made his way to the stairs, wanting nothing more than to get away from Jisung at that moment before he said something he’d later regret.
Jisung remained seated on the floor as he was processing the words and emotions that were rushing in all at once, his drunken brain unsure how to handle all the information he was just fed. He laid his head into his hands as his brain echoed Seungmin’s words again and again. 
Jisung felt his breath get caught in his throat as he hiccuped a quiet sob, his body starting to tremble as the tears he was holding back for so long finally fell. His body collapsed onto itself as his heart stuttered in his chest, his lungs burning from the lack of air as he continued to inconsolably weep, struggling to breathe between his cries. 
Maybe he is as bad as everyone said he was.
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A few weeks had gone by since Jisung and Seungmin’s argument at the party, but the tension between the two boys didn’t last long as Seungmin showed up to Jisung’s apartment the very next day with a bowl of soup for his hangover and an apology, which Jisung graciously accepted, neither wanting to be upset at each other any longer. 
Despite that, the words Seungmin had said never left Jisung, leaving a permanent scar on his brain as he constantly recalled the moment. The words painfully rang through his ears as a ball of shame and misery formed in his stomach while he reminisced about his past relationships, trying to figure out what he did so wrong. 
Jisung felt horrible as he carried this weight of guilt on his shoulders as he wondered how his actions had hurt others and how he had remained oblivious for so long. All the insecurities and fears he had about himself were true at the end. Everyone around him was in agreement that he was the issue and he was the one behaving so selfishly in every relationship. He could understand that and he knew if his friend’s felt that way, it had to be the truth, but he was still struggling to identify what exactly about him and his behavior was so bad. 
Sure, he could reach out and ask his friends to help see what he was missing, but he was too afraid to face the reality of the situation, not ready to take another brutal beating of words. He was terrified to hear the truth, but he knew the same conclusion he came to long ago remained true. Love was just not for him, it didn’t want him the same way he did.
Everyone had taken note of Jisung’s downtrodden mood and thought he had just needed a few days to collect himself, but once everyone realized more time had passed and that he didn’t even have the will to attend a recording session with Chan and Changbin, everyone went into crisis mode. So, over the last few weeks, someone would show up to Jisung’s house to check in on him and either spend a few hours with him at home, or forcefully drag him out the house to spend time with the group, insisting it would help him feel better.
Each time someone had forced him out, he would be huffing and sulking like a grumpy toddler throwing a tantrum, but as soon as he got there, he would be as cheery as ever and would end the day feeling a lot better. He hated how right his friends were, but he was always thankful for every time they dragged him out despite his whiny and bratty attitude.
However, there was another mental battle Jisung was fighting that everyone was unaware of, or so he thought, and he was definitely not coming out of it as a winner. Unfortunately for Jisung, since the time you joined Minho’s dance team, you had hit it off so well with the rest of the group that you were there almost every time Jisung joined you guys on an outing. And each day he spent with you, he found himself falling more and more for you. 
He was really trying to stop himself, as he took Seungmin’s words to heart and imagined that sentiment was shared with everyone else, but this task was becoming an impossible one for Jisung to tackle!
It was weird. Every time he’d get invited out, Jisung would dread seeing you because he knew he was doomed to a hopeless, unrequited love with you, but if you weren’t there, he would be so disappointed and would find himself wanting to go home sooner. He wanted to stay as far away from you as possible, but something about you drew him in and he couldn’t resist and now here he is, finding himself in a friendship with you that he could not escape. 
It’s not that he didn't want to be friends with you, if anything he loved the friendship you two had grown in such a short time and how quickly he became fond of you. You were incredibly sweet to Jisung, constantly showing your consideration for him everyday in new ways. If he ever felt anxious or out of place, you were the first to take notice and offer to get him out of whatever stuffy social situation he was in and stay with him til he was ready to join the others again. If he had decided to stay in that day, you’d send him a message letting know he was missed and hoped to see him the next time. There was even a time where he was too sick to leave the house, and much to his surprise, he found you and Minho at his front door steps with food and medicine.
Somehow, unlike everyone else before you, you had shown him a special kind of unwavering kindness and didn’t judge him for his past. For the first time in years, he finally felt safe and unconditionally loved in a friendship that wasn’t one of the boys. That was enough for Jisung to know that you were someone he wanted to keep in his life for as long as possible, even if it meant he had to confront eventual heartbreak and only stay by your side as nothing more than a friend. 
But, that was okay. That was more than enough for him because as long as you were there, he would give you his all and support you endlessly. He would do anything to see you smile, anything to ensure your happiness, and if that meant he couldn’t be your lover, then that was a sacrifice he was willing to make. Besides, no one has ever been happy with him in a relationship. This was how it had to be, this is how he could protect you from himself.
Regardless of how Jisung felt towards you, he had seriously doubted you had any interest in him in the first place. How could someone as angelic as you want to be with, well, trash? There was no way you hadn’t heard about his disastrous dating history, and if you were as smart as he thought you were, that alone would turn you off from him. Not only that, he was pretty sure you had heard about the fight he had with Seungmin and if that fight said anything about him, it showed that he was a mess of insecurities and arrogance. Why on Earth would you ever like someone like that? And if you heard about the fight, he was positive that Seungmin and everyone else had warned you about him and dissuaded you from even considering anything romantic with him.
It was doomed! 
And although Jisung had earnestly vowed to himself he would not engage in anything romantic with you, he was failing miserably. His affection towards you was something everyone picked up on. He always, no matter what, had his undivided attention on you as you ranted to him about whatever bothered you that day or how you were struggling to nail a part of your dance routine. It was obvious. He loved hearing you talk and could listen to you for hours as if you were his own personal podcast, always mirroring your emotion and blindly agreeing with you during your rants, always asking you questions whenever you rambled on about your own hobbies and interests. 
If someone ever talked over you, he’d make sure to ask you what you were going to say. If you were upset that day, he’d always offer to buy you ice cream and insist to the group that they all needed to stop by the local ice cream shop. If you ever showed him a video of your latest dance routine, he’d shower you with a ridiculous amount of compliments until you were a flustered mess asking him to stop. And every time he noticed you were wearing a new outfit, changed your hair, or wore different jewelry, he would be quick to notice and let you know how wonderful you looked. He was shamelessly flirting with you, and he hadn’t even realized how far he had let it go. 
On the other side of the pond, you were well aware of every horrible thing that was said about Jisung, even long before you had become a member of Minho’s team, and to be quite frank, you thought he was a complete asshole from what you’ve heard. But once you realized that he was one of Minho’s lifelong best friends, you knew you had to push your personal feelings aside, especially when you realized some of the music Minho had you perform with was Jisung’s original work. You hated to admit it, but he was an absolute genius when it came to music production and you were slowly becoming a fan of his work. 
All you could tell yourself was that he couldn’t have been that bad if everyone was still his friend and reminded yourself people change, it’s not like you were going to end up liking the guy anyway. 
Oh, but you were so wrong. 
The first time you saw him at Minho’s party, you thought he was so irresistibly adorable during his drunken babbling, and you were honestly taken aback that the cute man who sat in front of you was none other than Han Jisung. Although, it did help soften your initial thoughts of him, making you think maybe he wasn’t that bad, especially after seeing him become a blushing mess at the mere sight of you, but those thoughts were quickly pushed away while Hyunjin walked you to your car after you left.
“Y/N…”
“Hmm?”
“I’m sure you’ve heard about Jisung from other people, right?”
“Oh, I’ve heard plenty, but he doesn’t seem so bad though.”
“Well, he isn’t if you’re just friends with him, but… He definitely seemed into you when he saw you and as your friend, I feel like it is my responsibility to let you know that he isn’t someone you should pursue. I love him, but you deserve someone better than that… I would hate to see him hurt another one of my friends.”
“Ah, no worries, Hyunjin. I’ve made dumb dating choices in the past, but I’m not that stupid.”
Except, you were that stupid. So, so, so incredibly stupid and you were terrified that anyone would uncover your growing crush on the boy. You could already imagine both Hyunjin and Seungmin’s disappointed looks, and you promised yourself you were taking this little secret to the grave. You had every reason in the world to not be attracted to Jisung, especially after hearing how he put his hands on Seungmin during their argument! Drunk or not, there’s no excuse for that and his denial of his actions said so much about him.
Yet, here you are, sitting next to Jisung on the couch in the living room of Minho’s place, excitedly talking to him about the latest episode of the drama you were currently watching, gossiping to him as if the actors were real people you knew in your personal life. He sat on the couch with his legs crossed, facing you while nodding along to every word you said, his eyes trained on you and you alone.
“And-, oh my god, I almost forgot, but the lead then told her to shut up! Can you believe that?!”
Jisung would then gasp, theatrically putting his hand on his chest, “No fucking way… What is his problem?”
“Right! And then-,” you paused for a moment, suddenly feeling insecure that you were forcing Jisung to listen about something he probably didn’t care for. You sighed and gave him an apologetic smile as you anxiously twiddled your fingers, “I’m sorry, I got carried away, you probably don’t wanna listen to me talk about some stupid drama.”
This time, Jisung did look genuinely surprised as his eyebrows furrowed upward with panicked eyes, “What? No, I love hearing you talk about this, you’re always so excited that it’s adorable.” He hated how fast your mood changed and started to worry if he had done something to make you feel that way. Did he look uninterested? Was he not responsive enough? 
“Did I do something to make you think I didn’t want to listen?”
You felt your cheeks grow warm at Jisung calling you adorable, and then felt your heart start beating loudly in your chest when he asked you that question with all the concern and worry in the world filling his eyes. You shot straight up in your seat, returning his gaze with astonishment, not expecting him to be so considerate. “No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong… I just…” You paused for a moment, trying to find the words without revealing too much on how you were feeling, “I just got nervous for a moment, I don’t know.”
Jisung nodded as you spoke, taking your hands in his as he gave you a reassuring smile, “Y/N, I promise there’s nothing more I’d love than to hear you talk. You could be explaining the most boring thing ever, and I would still listen to you happily.”
In the kitchen stood Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Minho who were watching the scene unfold before them as they prepared food for everyone, while the others were upstairs playing whatever video game upstairs. Seungmin narrowed his eyes as he watched Jisung reach for your hands, taking note of the flustered look on your face.
“I think Y/N likes him.”
Hyunjin and Minho turned to Seungmin for a moment, then looked back at you and Jisung, unsure what exactly Seungmin saw other than Jisung’s flirtations. 
Hyunjin let out an annoyed exhale as he continued to fry the eggs on the pan, then muttering, “There’s no way that’s possible. Y/N knows better.”
“I don’t know. Just look at them, they act like there’s no one else in the room when they’re together,” whispered Seungmin.
“I guess,” murmured Hyunjin, clearly upset about Seungmin’s hunch, “This is going to end terribly, isn’t it?”
Minho silently stood as he separated the ramen noodles that were boiling in the pot, humming along as he listened to the two younger boys angrily whisper. “I think it will be okay. I think our Jisungie has learned his lessons.”
The other two looked at him with disbelief, neither believing Jisung was capable of ever growing from the immature mindset he had for as long as they’ve known him. Hyunjin scoffed, “No, you don’t really think that, do you?”
Minho kept his eyes on the stove as the other two stared down at the back of his head, shrugging his shoulders, “Well, I could be wrong, I can’t exactly predict the future, but…” He then glanced back at the couch, smiling as Jisung made you laugh, “He treats them differently. I don’t know why, but he does. Don’t you two think so?”
Seungmin and Hyunjin stayed silent, not being able to deny Minho’s statement because they fully knew he wasn’t wrong. Everyone knew something in Jisung had changed when he had met you, and everyone saw how gently he treated you, almost as if he was scared he could scare you away with one little misstep.
“Whatever, I still don’t trust him,” Hyunjin grumbled, putting the last of the eggs on a plate.
Minho chuckled at both of the boy’s protectiveness, “That’s okay, no one is forcing you to, but remember, they’re both adults. They can do what they want, no matter how stupid we all think it is.”
┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 
Months had gone by and there was no denying the small romance that had flourished between you and Jisung. You both were hopelessly head-over-heels for the other, to the point that everyone around you two had grown sick of it and was praying for the day where one of you would finally confess your feelings to the other. 
You had long given up on hiding your feelings for the boy from your friends, especially after one day Seungmin had confronted you and told you it was the most obvious thing in the world. Part of you had prepared yourself for Seungmin to berate you for your poor taste in men, especially after the plethora of warnings you had been given about Jisung, but instead, he was very supportive and wanted you to feel comfortable enough to talk to him about it, even if he thought you could do better.
Jisung had become a part of your daily life, spending nearly everyday with each other or at the very least, you both had become accustomed to texting one another throughout the day. You’d start your day either sending or receiving a ‘good morning’ text from him and you’d end your day the same way, except it was a ‘good night’ text. 
You’d often pay him a visit at his studio on days he had lost track of time, always letting yourself in after he had given you the passcode to the door, which he had only given to you, Minho, Chan, and Changbin. It came to you as a surprise when he gave you the code to his studio, insisting that you needed it so you could drop in whenever you wanted, telling you that you were always a welcomed guest at his studio. In reality, Jisung just wanted an excuse to see you more, and you had taken the bait as you would often show up with an iced americano in hand and whatever takeout food you were in the mood for that day.
If you ever had a long day of dance practice, Jisung would make sure to stop by to drop off a snack and drink as well, often receiving complaints from Minho over his blatant favoritism, accusing him of neglecting his best friend, which would cause Jisung to grow red from embarrassment. Despite his relentless teasing, Minho was more than proud to see how much Jisung had grown and how naturally caring for you had come to him. It was a side of Jisung no one had ever seen, and it was a very much welcomed change.
Today, you were sitting on the couch at Jisung’s apartment as he washed the dishes from the dinner you both had attempted to make, humming along as he put them in the drying rack. For some reason, you and Jisung had thought it would be a great idea to recreate a steak dish you both saw online and while it did not go terribly, the steaks ended up being a little too burnt for either of your liking. You were a bit disappointed, part of you feeling embarrassed you couldn’t even cook a proper meal in front of your crush, but he had lifted your spirits up by telling you it was an ‘excellent culinary choice’ to serve the steaks charred, shushing you each time you said the word burnt. 
Soon after, he took a seat next to you on the couch, flicking through the TV as he tried to find something to watch, but soon gave up as he turned to you, “Is there anything you wanna watch?” 
You scrunch up your face as you take a few seconds to think, clapping your hands excitedly once the idea hits you, “Have you ever watched Love is Blind? It’s kinda a dumb reality show, but I still haven’t seen the new season and it’s always a fun watch!”
Jisung furrowed his eyebrows quizzically, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy, “Love is Blind? I’ve never heard of it, what's it about?”
“Never heard of it!? No way!” You gasped, a hand clasping over your mouth dramatically as he smiled adoringly at your antics, “It’s such a crazy show! Basically, a bunch of singles are trying to find the love of their lives, but they’re meeting people without ever seeing what they look like!”
“Oh, so they only get to talk to each other?”
“Yeah! And then they have to get engaged, and once that happens, they can finally meet face to face. They’re supposed to get married at the end of the series, but there’s always juicy drama going on before then!”
Jisung hummed, taking interest in the show's concept, “That’s cool, so they’re trying to see if love is truly blind?”
“Exactly!” You chirped, nodding with enthusiasm as you beamed at Jisung, waiting for his response.
“Sure, let’s watch it!” How could he ever say no to you when you’re smiling at him that way? He swore he felt his heart flutter the moment you smiled at him, the jubilation in your eyes making him become putty in your hands. “Do you really believe in that though? Like, unconditional love?”
You turned to him as you grabbed the remote from his hands, a bit taken aback from his question, “Well, I’ve already seen the other seasons and some couples have definitely proven that love can be blind, but love differs for everyone. I think that’s the beauty of this show though, loving someone despite their flaws and loving them for who they truly are.”
He leaned back on the couch, returning your gaze as he lost himself deep in thought, “Right, but do you think you could love someone unconditionally? Even if they’ve made mistakes in the past?”
You furrowed your eyebrows as you tried to understand where Jisung was coming from, a gentle smile gracing your features as you reached a comforting hand over his wrist, “Well, as long as those past mistakes aren’t murder or something, I don’t see why not. I’d like to think people are able to grow from their past.”
Jisung smiled as he sighed in relief, his other hand resting on top of yours, “Even me?”
“Especially you.” 
┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 
It was a quiet and cold night as you curled up into Jisung’s side, your head resting on his chest with a leg thrown over his as his arms swaddled you into a tight embrace. It was peaceful and serene, the only sounds filling the room was the light pitter patter of rain against his bedroom window and the comforting beat of his heart. You tilted your head upwards and caught Jisung’s gaze, a relaxed smile on his face as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead, but you could’ve sworn you saw a glimmer of sadness in his eyes.
To be quite honest, you weren’t entirely sure what you and Jisung were, as neither of you had ever officially discussed labels, but you both were very aware of each other’s feelings for one another. There was no doubt that you both were more than just friends, but the label of partners or dating was something Jisung nervously tiptoed around. 
After a few weeks of these shared tender moments, you figured Jisung would soon ask you to be his, but the question never came and it filled you with nervousness. You didn’t want to pressure him, as you could sympathize with his concerns since he was very transparent with you about his hesitance from the very start.
Jisung was irrevocably in love with you and wanted nothing more than to make you his partner, but he would be lying to you if he wasn’t also terrified of the weight of that label. For so long, Jisung had convinced himself he was incapable of loving someone the way they deserved to be and never thought anyone would have ever fallen for him, especially someone as perfect as you. Perhaps it was your sheer kindness and undying belief in him, but he felt like a complete fraud, as if you had imagined him to be this amazing man that he could never be and has never been. He wasn’t ready to fall short of your expectations, he wasn’t ready to face the disappointed and heartbroken look on your face once you realized the rumors about him were complete truth.
He felt as if he was truly undeserving of someone as pure as you, someone so selfless and caring who approached their own feelings with so much confidence, while he was just a shamefully selfish man who didn’t know how to trust himself, who didn’t believe in his own ability to make his own partner happy, a man who was painfully insecure and unsure of who he was.
He wanted you with every fiber of his being and desperately wanted to be the very reason behind your smiles, laughter, and happiness. He so greedily desired to see his own reflection in your eyes for the rest of his life, a sight that he wanted to treasure for the rest of life and the thought of you looking at someone else that way physically pained him.
Yet, his fear of hurting you and disappointing everyone else around him held him back from chasing those feelings and Seungmin’s words from months ago ruminated in his mind as a constant reminder of his past failures. He would not be able to shoulder the burden of hurting you, the guilt would completely eat him up because at the end of the day, it would be his fault for fooling you into the idea that he was capable of giving you that movie perfect love story. For crying out loud, he’s Han Jisung, the guy everyone hated and criticized for his ineptitude of romantic relations. He knew what you wanted, he knew you were growing impatient and scared over his inaction, but his anxieties held him captive in a standstill, and he was not strong enough to challenge it.
All he could tell you was that he needed more time, that he was afraid and needed the chance to grow that confidence in himself once more, but he knew time was finite and he was running out of it. 
As he kissed your forehead, he felt his heart flinch as a pang of sadness flooded his body, forcefully fighting the overwhelming adoration and affection he had for you. He was petrified at the way his body slowly began to reject the feelings of love he had for you, fear and insecurities consuming it as if everything you had to offer nothing. All rational thinking had left him in that moment as panic took over his thoughts, angrily yelling at him for being such an idiot to think anything would ever change. How stupid he was to lead on another innocent person and how he was only going to hurt them, just like all the others before him. How idiotic he was for thinking he was ever deserving of love, as love does not wish to know him. 
He just couldn’t be your love.
God, if he wasn’t such a selfish asshole, maybe then he could’ve saved you from his own carelessness. If he had only heeded the warnings of his friends, but once again, he has fallen into the trap of self-centered needs outweighing the feelings of others. If he had only stayed your friend and nothing more, if he had only not-
“Y/N, I don’t think this is going to work.”
Did he really say that out loud? He held his breath as he cursed himself for acting so quickly out of fear, his heart stopped as he watched you stiffen in his own arm. You silently sat yourself up, his arms falling to the mattress as you turned to him with tears filling your eyes, your lips trembling as you tried to contain a sob.
Oh, how Jisung just wished the world would swallow him whole in that moment, his heart completely shattering at the sight of your crestfallen face. He looked into your watery eyes to only realize that this time, the reflection of your eyes showed the source of your sorrow, an expression he had wished he never had the misfortune to witness. 
“I… I’m sorry, I just-”
You shook your head, raising a hand to signal him to stop talking, refusing to take an explanation from him, “It’s okay. I was afraid this would happen.”
You forced a tightlipped smile, taking a deep breath through your nose as you tried to keep yourself together, faintly whispering a broken “Please don’t text or call me.”
Jisung shot up as he watched you get up from his bed, trying to scramble after you as you made your way to his front door, grabbing your belongings on the way. He didn’t realize how much he was already crying until he tried to speak to you, but it all came out in a blubbering sob. “Y/N, please, listen to me…” He begged you to listen to him, pleaded for you to try to understand where this was all coming from and to understand that he still loved you so much despite how selfish his actions are, yet you never gave him a chance.
“Jisung, please. I don’t care why, I don’t want to know,” you croaked between sobs, doing your best to maintain your composure as you faced the front door, refusing to look at him. “I just feel like an idiot. I should’ve listened to what people said about you.”
There you went, leaving his apartment and shutting the door in his face with force, leaving Jisung to confront nothing, but his own cowardice. 
Once again, Jisung fell into the trap of his own self-centered thinking, getting lost in his own immaturity as he became the victim of the circumstances he created. If he had only realized that he wasn't alone in this battle of his own conscience, if he had only realized you would've fought each insecurity and fear with him.
Oh, woe is me, Han Jisung. Only a fool would be afraid of love.
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🔫
Can I have more Donna headcanons plz. I'm a lonely lesbian who loves fiction female Italians
Lmao I got plenty<3
- y’all probably know I interpret her pretty differently. She’s a lot stronger and independent than the normal but she’s still a super anxious and shy individual. She’s a beautiful paradox I cannot begin to describe.
- She’s high functioning depressed and autistic. On the surface she’s someone who has order and routine- who can handle being at meetings with others and talk to people as equals- but spend enough time with her and you’ll see that she will just lay in bed and not get out. That she thinks herself as smaller than others.
- Angie is a side of herself she’s stored away, the memories and personality Donna had with Claudia. In order to keep that final happiness, all those memories are stored in Angie and has influenced the doll to be the way she is.
- Donna has never experimented with her powers to know their full capabilities. Even the concept that she can cause nightmarish hallucinations to kill someone without raising a blade terrifies her.
- She has an accent that comes through when she’s tired or just not thinking about it. Sometimes it’s so heavy that even she’ll jump at the sound of her own voice.
- Cursed solely in Italian. Angie’s the one that says “fuck” and Donna can live through her.
- Donna cannot take full control of Angie, just heavily influence her- if Angie doesn’t want to do something then Donna can’t force her hand. It rarely happens though.
- On uncommon days she’ll walk through her woods around the manor with Angie. Her anxiety, esteem, and motivation must all line up but every time she doesn’t regret it and comes home with a sense of peace.
- A horrible fidget when she’s not aware of it. During meetings or talks or anything that her brain is running anxiety on- she’s still as stone. But at home, she’ll speak to Angie with her mind unable to focus on one thing. Her hands will play with her hair, tug at her dress, tap against a teacup- head swaying to watch strands of hair swish in and out of her vision- feet shuffling against the floor, picking at scabs or the peeling skin beneath her fingernails- just to name a few. You’d have to be very close to her to see any of it in action for yourself though.
- Existentially stuck in the past. Although she’s aware of the present and what the future may hold- she’s constantly thinking about the past, comparing it, using it to determine what person she is. Getting close to her is a difficult task when the past still haunts her and controls her.
- During episodes of breakdowns where she just does not want to live like this anymore, she’ll pick and pull at the Cadou infesting her eye. Cursing it for keeping her alive.
- Her anger manifests in two ways; a depressive self hatred that causes her to coil in on herself- where she feels guilty for being angry at all and tells herself over and over to just suck it up, it’s not a big deal- or an expressed destruction where she loses majority of control over her powers and dolls run rampant.
- Her sadness is a building cycle. She’ll get upset at something and cry, but absolutely hate herself for it and scold herself for being weak, which then makes her feel worse, and she’ll continue this cycle until she’s exhausted and just can’t cry anymore.
- She’s a mix of self loathing and self love. On one hand she will destroy any mirror she sees her reflection in and go days punishing herself for simply existing, but on the other hand she really does want to love herself. It manifests as a weird ball of complex feelings- she could be proud of an accomplishment but also feel shit that it isn’t the number one best accomplishment ever- and that she’s a fool for being happy about it. Yet she keeps it around, calling upon it as a comfort… even if at the same time it brings her pain.
- Simultaneously wants romance and affection but also absolutely terrified by it. She’ll read the books and let her creativity run wild, surprisingly a hopeless romantic, but if it’s even an inch close to her in reality- she’ll rather run.
- She’s on the autistic spectrum to mistake normal, platonic affection as romantic. Hell even if she doesn’t have feelings for that person- she’ll gaslight herself to “catch feelings.” In the past, she’s fucked up a relationship that way- becoming an aggressively toxic person for the attention, affection- wanting the person only for herself and herself only- and unknowingly manipulating them to fulfill that selfish, unconscious desire. She’s realized her mistake months after, and has become much more reserved and mindful because of it.
- A sponge for knowledge. She’s a big ole nerd, loves anything to do with science, has little mock research she’ll do with her own garden that’ll tickle her. While she herself is more on botany, Angie ends up soaking in more zoology, both of their knowledge combined is beyond impressive.
- She feels music very deeply in her heart. Doesn’t matter if it’s instrumentals or with lyrics, it resonates with her strongly and she has strong attachment to particular songs based on memories, feeling, and hope.
- Sleeps with some sort of noise- white noise, music, the rain- sleeping in complete silence unnerves her.
- Wakes up to Angie screaming in her face every morning. Wouldn’t have it any other way<3
- Angie eats and drinks in small amounts, the Cadou is still a parasite that needs substance, but since it’s a part of Donna’s Cadou- Donna can sometimes feel the effects of what Angie eats. Woman could be taking a stroll and suddenly taste dirt cuz Angie ate shit chasing a squirrel.
- Protective of the remaining eye. The Cadou took away the sight in the eye it infects so Donna has learned to deal with challenged depth perception. She’ll often reach for things too far right or left if she ever got full vision back.
- Silent walker without even meaning to be. She also somehow manages to silently run (if she is on the unique occasion to jog through the woods).
- Doesn’t sweat easily. Her body is already naturally pretty cold so any form of workout will need to be pretty long/intense for her to start sweating.
- She is aware her body (especially at the ends) is pretty cold. She refuses to give anyone hand shakes because she’s secretly Elsa and will freeze yo’ ass.
- Angie jokes that Donna stands in the sun to photosynthesize, rather than to warm herself up like some kinda sunbathing lizard.
- Surprisingly very warm during the winter, Donna’s an ice pack in the summer and a heat pack in the winter.
- No she doesn’t know why either wheeze.
- On the few occasions she’s free from her anxieties- Donna is quite chaotic. She used to be the prankster of the family and still has part of that alive within her- Angie especially has to be the victim of said pranks (but she loves it no matter how loudly she complains)
- Doesn’t like to have pictures of herself taken, but Donna does have a rare few in-the-moment photos she adores.
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bradshawsbaby · 1 year
Text
Underneath the Tree
Pairing: Rooster x Wife!Reader
Author’s Note: This initially started out as a little blurb concept, but I was inspired to turn it into a fuller length story after receiving some absolutely delightful input from my darling friend, @luminousnotmatter​. Clara, your imagination and creativity are a wonder, and I’m so thankful for you! I know we’ve discussed this a lot, so I hope you enjoy it!
Fun Fact: In the timeline of this story, Mrs. Bradshaw is very newly pregnant with Goose, but doesn’t know it yet!
Warnings: This story contains lots of romance and fluff, but it’s also 18+ for some explicit sexual content.
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“Honey?”
The sound of your husband’s voice reverberated throughout the apartment as you heard him drop his bag by the front door, followed by the soft thud of his boots as he placed them on the shoe rack.
“In the living room!” you called out to him, not wanting to move from the cozy spot in which you’d plopped yourself.
Though you couldn’t see him, though he wasn’t even in the same room as you, you could sense Bradley’s confusion, could picture the small wrinkle between his eyebrows, as you heard him begin walking in the direction of your darkened living room. The house was dark, save for the few candles you’d lit and the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree, and quiet, save for the classic Christmas songs that were warbling from the record player that had once belonged to Goose and Carole.
“Baby?” Bradley asked, flicking the lights on to seek you out.
“No, no, keep them off!” you exclaimed from your spot underneath the Christmas tree. Glancing across the room, you immediately noted the look of perplexed amusement on your husband’s face.
“What are you doing, honey?” Bradley questioned, arching an eyebrow as he stepped further into the room, taking in the sight of you lying on your back, your head resting on the tree skirt as you gazed upward at the inner boughs of your Christmas tree.
“Just admiring our tree,” you informed him, resting your hands on your stomach and crossing your ankles comfortably, as if this was the most normal position in the world for him to find you in.
Bradley chuckled, crossing his arms as he continued to gaze down at you. “And you couldn’t do that from the couch?”
You and Bradley had decorated your apartment for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving, and in the week that had since followed, you’d spent every night curled up on the couch together, mugs of hot chocolate in hand as you snuggled into your husband’s side and enjoyed the warm glow of the lights that filled your heart with joy every time you saw them.
“I thought it was time for a new perspective,” you grinned, lifting your head slightly to look at him from your spot on the floor. Laughing, you added, “I used to do this all the time when I was a little girl. I’d spend hours lying underneath the Christmas tree, staring up at the lights and all our ornaments and imagining all the toys that Santa was going to bring me on Christmas morning. I haven’t done it in years.”
Shaking his head in amusement, Bradley smiled at you with tender affection. “You never fail to amaze me with how you can find joy in the smallest things, baby,” he said, beaming first at you and then at the tree that the two of you had spent hours painstakingly decorating until you had deemed it “just right.”
“Come lay with me,” you invited him, patting the spot beside you on the floor. As he started to move towards you, however, you quickly added, “But shut the lights off first! It’ll ruin the magic otherwise,” you giggled.
“Can’t have that now, can we?” Bradley grinned, flipping the light switch off, which cast the living room into darkness once more. It was a comforting darkness though, one pierced by the soft and cozy glow of your multi-colored Christmas lights and the cinnamon-scented candles you had left sitting on the coffee table.
Letting out a soft groan as he folded his tired body down to the floor, Bradley laid on his back and carefully shimmied himself underneath the tree, until he was resting shoulder to shoulder with you.
“Get comfy,” you instructed, grinning as he made a show of settling himself in, linking his fingers together and resting them on his stomach, and crossing his ankles in a manner that mirrored yours.
“Comfy,” he assured you, turning his head and shooting you a playful wink.
“Good,” you nodded, trying to bite back your smile as you turned your gaze upward once more. “Now look up and enjoy.”
As Frank Sinatra crooned White Christmas in the background, Bradley tore his gaze away from your enchanted face and followed your line of sight, staring up at the inner workings of your Christmas tree.
Lying in this position, you had always imagined yourself wandering around in some sort of enchanted forest, the lights twinkling and winking at you like little Christmas fairies, determined to whisk you off to some magical destination. Though you weren’t a little girl anymore, the effect remained the same. There was still something so magical about it, made even better by the man who was now lying beside you. He was better than any Christmas gift you ever could have asked Santa for.
“What do you think?” you asked softly, keeping your voice hushed in the stillness of the moment.
“Beautiful,” Bradley murmured in response. “Absolutely beautiful.”
When you glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, however, you realized that his gaze was fixed permanently on you and not on your magical Christmas tree.
“I’m talking about the tree,” you laughed, nudging him pointedly.
“Oh, the tree? It’s alright,” he shrugged, his eyes crinkling with laughter as you swatted his arm teasingly. “No, it’s beautiful, honey. Really. Just not as beautiful as you.”
“Such a smooth talker, always,” you teased, reaching down and lacing your fingers through his as you continued to stare up in wonder.
You and Bradley lay like that for a while, Sinatra giving way to Crosby and then to Fitzgerald as the Christmas record continued to play. After a while, however, you could sense your husband becoming increasingly restless, his gaze constantly shifting to your face, though you attempted to keep your focus directed upward.
“Honey,” he whispered, his voice gentle, but edged with a rasp that told you exactly what was on his mind.
Shifting onto his side, Bradley rested his hand on your hip as he leaned in and began peppering your jawline and neck with kisses.
“Lieutenant Bradshaw, just what do you think you’re doing?” you smirked, shivering despite yourself as his warm lips began trailing a line down your throat, his mustache scraping against your sensitive skin.
“Just showing my wife how much I love her,” he whispered against your neck, nipping at your jaw in a way that had your toes curling immediately in pleasure.
“Oh, is that it?” you whispered in a breathy voice, running your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck as his tongue began tracing slow, lazy circles across your throat. His fingers slipped inside the neckline of your shirt, tugging it to the side so that his ministrations could move to your shoulder.
“Mhm,” Bradley nodded, his lips hovering over yours for the briefest of moments before he captured your mouth with his own, his tongue gently probing and exploring as his hands slid down your body.
When an involuntary moan escaped your lips, you felt your husband’s body respond almost immediately, his grip on you tightening as he attempted to shift his body over yours.
Evidently forgetting where he was, however, Bradley let out a strangled groan of frustration when his head suddenly whacked into the bottom branches of the tree, several ornaments whose perches had been disturbed tinkling disgruntledly in response.
“Son of a—”
“Bradley Bradshaw,” you said in a mock serious tone, resting a firm hand on your husband’s chest as you pushed him away from you. “If you break any of those ornaments, you are going to be in serious trouble!”
“Is that so?” Bradley asked, a mischievous gleam in his eye as he gazed down at you. “Well I guess I’ll just have to work my way out from under this tree,” he winked, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before lowering himself down once more and latching his lips onto your neck.
You let out a soft sigh of pleasure as your husband licked and nipped at your skin, soothing each bite with a tender kiss as his hands wandered down lower, massaging your thighs. Gripping your legs in his hands, he began shimmying down your body, kissing your breasts and stomach through the material of your T-shirt and bra.
“Bradley,” you moaned softly, your desire increasing with every second that passed. You could feel your panties growing damp as he began peppering your hips with kisses, pushing your shirt up just slightly so that his lips were making contact with bare flesh once more.
“I’ve got you, honey,” Bradley told you, his fingers working to gently push your shirt up even further, exposing your bare stomach. “I’m gonna take such good care of you,” he promised, lowering his head and pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses to your skin.
You could feel your body growing warm as he continued his trail downward, your hand coming down to rest on the back of his head and your fingers carding through his hair. When he suddenly put his mouth on your clothed core, you let out an involuntary gasp, your body curling in on itself as your head came up sharply, hitting the same branches that he had knocked into earlier.
“Mrs, Bradshaw,” Bradley tutted teasingly, lifting his head to look up at you. “If you break any of those ornaments, you are going to be in serious trouble!”
You let out a little groan, giggling despite yourself. “Stop torturing me then!” you insisted, biting down on your lower lip in a gesture that always drove Bradley insane.
Sure enough, you instantly felt your husband’s fingers reaching inside the waistband of your leggings, hooking through your underwear as well as he pulled both down your legs with practiced ease. Your hips bucked slightly when you felt the cool air hitting your wet center.
“Oh, honey,” Bradley moaned softly, running one calloused finger over you in a way that had you grinding yourself down against his hand. “I’ve got you,” he assured you once again, pressing a kiss to the inside of your thigh.
You let out a soft cry as he finally put his mouth on you, his tongue tracing slow stripes up and down your slit as his fingers swirled small circles on your hips and lower belly. He took his time, setting a languid pace that had you panting and mewling in desperation, your fingers burying themselves in his hair as you pressed yourself against him.
Bradley ran a soothing hand up and down your thigh as his lips wrapped around the tiny bundle of nerves at your core, sending a shockwave through your system and causing you to practically sob out his name. “Does it feel good, honey? Is it too much?” he asked, feeling how much your legs were trembling.
“N-no. I mean, yes! I mean, it feels so good!” you gasped, your hips rolling slightly as he peppered you with soft kisses. “Don’t stop, baby, please! I’m so close!”
“Okay, honey, okay,” Bradley nodded, gently slipping two fingers inside you and curling them slowly as your hips popped up off the floor. “Let go when you’re ready, baby. I’m right here,” he murmured, kissing your knee before lowering his mouth to you once more, his lips attaching to that tiny bud as his fingers worked you closer and closer to the edge.
“Bra–Brad–Bradley!” you practically screamed, your vision going white for a second as an intense orgasm suddenly rocked your body, tears streaming out your eyes and into your hair as your hips bucked over and over again until your body lay limp against the floor, trembling.
“Right here, honey. I’m right here,” Bradley whispered to you comfortingly, keeping a firm grip on your thighs as you came down from your high, your heart racing and your chest heaving.
“Baby,” you sighed, reaching down to caress his cheek as he rested his head against your stomach, holding you close. “That was….”
“Everything you deserve and then some,” your husband said, pressing soft kisses to your stomach. “I love making you feel that good, baby.”
The two of you just lay like that for a while, Bradley resting his head on your stomach as you ran your fingers through his hair and fought like hell to catch your breath.  When you finally felt like your body had stopped shaking like a leaf, you slowly shimmied your way out from underneath the tree, sitting up on the floor.
Bradley sat across from you and watched with wide eyes as you removed your shirt and bra, tossing them to the side and fixing your gaze on him.
“Take your clothes off,” you told him softly, biting down on your lower lip once again.
He didn’t need you to say it twice. Without taking his eyes off you, Bradley quickly stripped himself of the black T-shirt he’d worn home from base, followed instantly by his sweatpants and boxers. Wordlessly, he wrapped an arm around your waist and lowered you down to the carpeted floor in front of the Christmas tree, cupping your face in his other hand and running his thumb along your bottom lip.
“I love you so much,” he told you seriously, his brown eyes boring down on you. “Do you know that?”
You nodded in response, lifting your hands to hold his face between them. “I know. I love you, too. With everything I am.”
There were times when you and Bradley made love frantically, all frenzied movements and loud panting and screaming out each other’s names. And then there were times like tonight, when you held each other so close and your bodies moved in tandem at an achingly slow speed, all soft sighs and tender whispers and a deep love that made your heart throb inside your chest.
Your husband was inside you, his face buried in your neck as he ground his hips down in rhythm with yours, your arms and legs wrapped tightly around him as you squeezed your eyes shut and let your mouth fall open into a tiny ‘O’ of pleasure, your pulse racing as you heard Bradley’s soft gasps and murmured “I love yous.”
Over the sound of your heavy breathing and the thud of your hearts pounding in concert with one another, you could hear the soft strains of Judy Garland’s Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas pouring from the record player.
Your eyes opened slowly, hazily, and your breath caught in your throat at the sight of your gorgeous husband, his naked, glistening skin bathed in the warm, rosy glow of the lights on your Christmas tree. Your first Christmas tree as a married couple. Your first Christmas as the Bradshaws.
In that instant, you thought your heart might really burst with love for him. But what a way to go.
Bradley must have felt the same way you did because he suddenly lifted his head, his hips still moving slowly with yours, and reached up to lightly touch your face, awe glowing in his dark eyes, which were pricked with tears.
“You’re so beautiful, honey,” he whispered, brushing his lips against yours. “So beautiful.”
“So are you,” you breathed out, running your hands up and down his broad, muscular back. One of your hands slowly made its way back up to his face, your fingers tracing the scars on his chin and cheek. “You’re my whole heart.”
“And you’re mine,” Bradley vowed, turning his head slightly so that he could press kisses to your fingertips.
You let out a small whimper as you felt yourself approaching the precipice of another orgasm, your grip on your husband tightening as you gazed up into his eyes.
“I know, baby,” he nodded, no words necessary. “Me, too.”
Wrapping your arms tightly around him, you pressed your mouth against his shoulder as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, both your bodies tensing up as you softly panted and moaned each other’s names.
It was a soft finish, a quiet finish, with both of you clinging to each other for dear life. It was moments like these that rocked your world more than any other, moments when you truly felt that there was no telling where you ended and your husband began.
Sweaty and panting, Bradley pressed slow, sensual kisses to your shoulder and collarbone, his eyes hooded with passion as he met your gaze.
“Honey, that was so…”
“I know,” you nodded, kissing his chin gently.
Neither of you moved. Neither of you wanted to. Bradley continued to lay atop you, still buried deep within, as you tenderly stroked his face and chest.
The silence was broken only when Bradley, resting his weight on his elbows, looked down at you and suddenly asked, “Have I ever told you how beautiful you look in nothing but Christmas lights?”
Laughing, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. “Funny. I was just about to tell you the same thing.”
“I think I’ve discovered my new favorite spot to make love to you, Mrs. Bradshaw,” he murmured, nuzzling his nose against yours.
Grinning, you shot him a mischievous look and raised your eyebrows. “Then why don’t we do it again?”
“Mrs. Bradshaw, I like the way you think.”
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skyepixels · 8 months
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The Welcome Home Website!!!!! She is Beautiful~! And She Leaves Us With So Many Questions!
First off, I am absolutely astonished at how beautiful she is!!! Clown, Puzz, and everyone else has worked so hard and they've exceeded everyone's expectations with the site!!! What a wonderful little Home they've made, and I'm excited to experience it as a fan!!!
I know that everyone's combing through the new website update with a fine toothed comb so I won't be sharing anything we've already found. I don't think I've found anything new in the site that others haven't already found, but oh boy!!!! Does everything there only raise more questions!
What I do love is how all the audio files we've been given through the "bugs" has really shown what everyone's personality is like! I love every one of them, and the voice actors captured them perfectly! Oh and the little tidbits of history with the merchandise, the telephone calls, the little skits! Be still my beating heart~!!!
AND THE WALLY LIVE INTERVIEW. I CANT! It's sooo darn cute!! And Nick Nocturne (I know it's him, that interdimentional cat demon) as the interviewer was such a lovely touch! I cannot wait to hear about that from his YT channel!!! And Wally was so coy with the romance question~ and I think that's the perfect way to answer it for everyone who loves him! Keep it vague, let everyone make their own conclusions and be happy! (I know I certainly will for the time being, and will love him no matter what!) I am so curious about the underlying story here: there's so much to think about it's driving me crazy! They gave so much and answered so little! We can only theorize from here! So here's my little thoughts! None of it's cohesive in any way, nor does it really have all the details or tell full story yet, so just take it in sections if you decide to read it! ______
!~OBSERVATION TIME~!
I think that Wally, Home (And maybe everyone else, not sure) are trapped somewhere. Where exactly isn't certain, but very trapped indeed. My first indication of this from this response in the guestbook for Tayla (Page 8):
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"eu não sei onde estamos" - I don't know where we are (A bonus for the multi-lingual side of things there, it makes me really happy to see it!)
I have no concept of what happened to everyone else, but from the little drawings he's made on the guestbook, he's constantly telling people things like "Oh, I'll tell Eddie." or "I'll tell Frank." these messages, but we never get a direct response from any other neighbor! It's always him talking! Just him. He tells people their responses, but we never hear anything direct from the other neighbors! The quick reference I can bring up is the hearts PNG in the guestbook for Kazoo:
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itoldhim_hesaidhesflattered_idontknowwhatanyoneistalkingabout_.png I feel like those collections of audio clips with all the neighbors (1-14 to 14-14) are a recount of events throughout an entire day that previously happened that may give insight into what happened to Wally. I think this is the case based on the last audio in the list, 14-14 bh audio, when Barnaby notices Wally acting strange:
BARNABY: Yeah, yeah, real funny! A poor little guy like me deserves some sympathy! A clown without a kazoo is like… Like an artist without his paintbrush! Go on kid, tell ‘em! …Hello? Buddy? Pal? …Hey, you stopped paintin’. Everything alright, Wally?
Well, something happened there. Maybe a change in his psyche, how he perceives things - some strange realization that terrified him. Maybe he got angry at something. What it was? I have no clue.
Another addition that I think is interesting! Frank wrote to Wally describing the unusual bug he found. In the beginning of that letter, Frank says this:
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"I know you would ask if you are here." Where is he?
The nature of how Wally and everyone communicates is so vague and weird! I think the telephones, the mail, the TVs - all these things are means of communicating, but there's no direct connection to us! Any time a phone call is made, they can't hear us. This I have inferred from the "It's for you!" Talking telephone toy! They can talk to us and we can hear them, but they can't hear us! What's causing this disturbance? That's the real bug here, and I'm clueless on what that means or how to break through the surface!
Most importantly! I think that Wally specifically trying to communicate with that one person on the WHRP team. That person... is experiencing a lot of heavy sh*t, because I think they remember Wally and the show. They're the closest person right now that's able to help him (either willingly or not!)
I also believe he's specifically working with that WHRP member because in the phone audio (the one you click on when interacting with the toy telephone on the merchandise page), he says:
"You have to go too. You have work to do."
From what I can interpret from the live interview, I think that it implies some semblance of back story! Wally did interact with people and the outside world during his prime in the 70s, when the show was really starting to pick up speed. He was calmer, more in tune with his character and fame. He was in character most of all, and I think being in character was a sense of identity for him that he could rely on!
But those secret audio files we hear from him now? He sounds desperate, like he can't breathe. He's practically breaking from his usual character. What did he realize? What does he know? All of those things boil down to this sentence:
"I will help you understand. I will find a way soon, Neighbor."
Wally (and Home?) are working away at a solution wherever they can I think that WHRP member is the key to that! (Although the methods of how they're doing it, i.e the black paint that apparently you shouldn't touch with bare hands, the mind-boggling phone ringing in that person's ears, the complete distortion of reality - definetely implies a few things.)
I also think that the highlighted in invisible ink is Wally's words throughout the email compilations and other documents! The one where he says "Im so sorry." - I feel like that's him showing some remorse for his actions there, but it's like a sorry that says "I'm sorry, I have to do this." kind of deal (which is... oof)
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Also - quick note! Wally keep insisting on being let in, rather than being let out. "Let me in." - Let you in to where? Our world? Reality? Oh so many questions!!!
I also am curious about the WHRP staff too, and their interactions with the Question-Answerer, the Marlo company, the Playfellow Workshop! There's two sides to this story; the human side and the puppet one, and it's so multilayered here that at this point, I'm inclined to distrust what anyone on that website says until we know what's going on!
Lastly, I'm not certain how much we as viewers of this story are involved. While I believe that he's working to get that WHRP member to let him in, he does acknowledge us through the guestbook. Although, I don't think truly aware of how much we see him. i.e "idontknowwhatanyoneistalkingabout" line from the heart PNG.
While I want to believe that Wally can see us through our art, specifically when we draw or recreate his eyes, for engagement's sake (audio from this link), I also am inclined to believe he's refering to the eyes that the WHRP team member keeps drawing on those sticky notes and other places throughout the restoration site:
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And and and!!! I think that there's got to be something upcoming with this link: https://www.clownillustration.com/error404
You find this link on the staff-only page at the bottom with the text "It's in here." And I think that with any future updates, the next section of the story will be coming from here.
AHH~! I rambled on too long! Hope you enjoyed it!
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littlemissayu · 3 months
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The Girl Who Met Him First
I grew up with love, familial platonic and most of all romantic love. That’s why I fell in love with love. I watched Disney love stories and rom-coms all the time. I was surrounded by the concept and promise of real, true, raw love. It made me hopelessly desire love, it caused me to constantly fantasize the idea of meeting someone and falling for them and them falling for me. Having a dream romance full of passion, promise, and unconditional raw love. When I met him for the first time, that's when I decided that the love I saw, the love that made people do crazy things, try new things, start new beginnings, become better people, and drove them absolutely insane it all became clear to me that it was all real the day I met him. It wasn’t instantaneous, but when I saw him I knew that one day he would completely enamor me wholly and truly. The love that I would feel for him would make me sick to my stomach but like a moth drawn to a flame I would keep coming back for more of his love each and every time. I loved him, I adored him, was smitten, and loved him sickly. The way he loves is so warm and precious. His love is like a lustrous crystal, his love is safe, warm, embracing, inviting, and priceless. His embraces are warm and comforting, they bring joy and harmony. His smile is warm to the touch, like getting close to the sun and touching its rays knowing the heat and passion within. His kisses had the taste of fresh berries in summer and filled with fervor & promise, the promise of always being yours. His love is pleasant, precious, and prevalent; yet I will never know this love as it is not mine. I am not the object of his every desire, passion, dream, and thought; that belongs to his lover who is not me but my sister, the girl who met him first.
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akai-anna · 2 months
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Now for my dear DCMK exchange gift giver. I come with some fic recs and a couple of headcanons for our favourite certified lil guy.
A selection of personal fic recs of the platonic/familial/friendship kind (sprinkled with a bit of romance too). Please note that all these fics come back to one thing: Shinichi/Conan is involved, as he tends to be my main focus (also I'm a huge Found Family trope lover, as you might be able to tell from some of these recs). I also decided to forgo my soulmate AU recs, since it seems you likely know those! (Though, if you'd ever like more fic recs... just let me know. And I hope you'll find one or two on this list that you haven't yet read and you'll like!)
warm soup on a frigid night: Detective Boys centric, my heart melted gosh.
Once and For All: another Detective Boys centric fic, I'M SCREAMING thEY ARE SO PRECIOUS.
A Friend In Need: Kaitou KID centric, really love how organic this fic is, both from KID's and Shinichi's POV.
You Have an Hour: Sonoko's POV and an extremely funny and relatable fic.
You're okay, you're safe: oh, my beloved Sakura Trio, also from Sonoko's POV which I adore, and Sonoko's feelings in this... I feel her.
Switched: KID centric, FREAKING BODY SWAP, and so well written too, very fun read.
Guide you home: I love the Guide/Sentinel universe so much, this has romantic KaiAo, Heizuha, ShinRan, and lots of other platonic combinations, this is also a case fic and emotional.
Identity: One of my favourite scenarios, OCCHAN AND RAN BEING AWARE FROM THE BEGINNING, MY HEART-
Code Red: KOGOROU CENTRIC, let him shine!
The Cloning Secret: do you want to read something absolutely heart-wrenching, disturbing, yet absolutely brilliant? Go no further. We warned: this is a work in progress.
Misconceptions, Illusions, and Lies (and Other Forms of Fair Play): I absolutely adore this fic, the idea of Ran and KID working together, also bonus points for different POVs, also a work in progress.
Shenanigans in Beika: one of my ultimate favourite fic series, off all time, the interactions in this are just way too charming and precious and dear. Also a work in progress.
until the flowers bloom again: same author (yes, one of my favourite authors, sue me) as Shenanigans in Beika, involves the Detective Boys and ShinRan, and my heart just... gosh, this fic is so precious.
Hidden Epidemic: I love the first part the most, but this as a whole has a lot of headcanons incorporated into it that I love to bits. Lots of POV changes, and so many characters (Detective Boys, Heiji, Kazuha, KID, Ran and so on)
pet: super short, but also SUPER CUTE, absolutely in love with the idea of Ai having a cat. (one of my favourite authors for the fandom)
(the space between) where you smile and hide: one of the very few and precious Kazuha POV fics, especially her thinking about Shinichi. (also one of my favourite authors, and if you like one Hattori Heiji, I highly rec holly's other fics too)
Observations: my ultimate favourite fic involving Takagi Wataru, part of it is from his POV too, and it has so many great things about it. (VERMOUTH!!! Also Heiji and Satou working together! And most importantly: Takagi finally getting an answer to his Question.)
All Night Gang: I ADORE THIS FIC SO SO SO MUCH, THE FACT THAT KAZUHA AND RAN GET TO FINALLY KNOW. Also the adorable chatting in the first part. All the different POVs later on. And all the FEELINGS AND HEADCANONS AND THE THING THIS FIXES ABOUT CANON FOR ME. I'M so grateful for the existence of this fic.
Nothing To Lose: Detective Boys, PRECIOUS CHILDREN, they just miss their friend, this fic made me so emotional, dammit. SHINICHI YOU FCKIN IDIOT-
Family of the heart: God. This fic. THIS FIC. I LOVE PARENTAL MOURI KOGOROU WITH A PASSION.
never were and not anymore: this series? Damn. The shapeshifter concept in it is MARVELOUS AND MASTERFUL. The way it got merged into the universe, and how it changed events. Also THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS KILL ME in the best way.
Scion: I absolutely adore this author, and this is one of my ultimate favourite fics involving Shinichi and KID. The supernatural element is so exquisitely fitting into the universe, and how Shinichi's feelings are so complex, and the teamwork... just. Everything about this fic pulls at my heartstrings.
As for personal headcanons for Shinichi/Conan, here is a few:
Shinichi/Conan is neurodivergent as fck. I personally like to think he is on the autism spectrum, but I'm very flexible on the exact nature. One thing for sure: he is not neurotypical. At. All.
HE'S A CERTIFIED PENCIL BITER YOUR HONOUR!!! (IT'S NOT EVEN A HEADCANON AT THIS POINT- *GETS HIT*)
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No one can tell me, No One, that after all these traumatic experiences this child doesn't experience panic attacks or PTSD.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE STOPPED PLAYING SOCCER, HE LOVES SOCCER!! (The kids are totally the reason he got more involved in soccer again, YOU HEAR ME-)
Shinichi keeping gloves on his person for Crime Scene Examination Purposes, At All Times.
Shinichi having his own shorthand, you cannot tell me he doesn't TAKE NOTES, he so totally WOULD. (HE HAS A NOTEBOOK ON HIM!!! AND SOMETHING TO WRITE WITH!!! OFC HE WOULD HAVE AN EFFECTIVE WAY TO TAKE NOTES!!!)
Thank you for your attention, may you have a blessed day, darling!
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dustofthedailylife · 1 year
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Hello, Dust, congrats on 2k! Super proud to be one of said 2k because your works and art are very dear to many people, including myself. ^^ I'm here to submit a request for your event, so can I have Kaveh + "Wait, you like me? You mean me, as in me?!" Thank you so much and congratulations again! 💞
(To give you an idea, it's like Kaveh has been in denial for some time that we have feelings for him, so much so that he thought he was having hearing problems when we confessed. P/S: I can also see him proudly rubbing the fact that he has an S/O in Alhaitham's face XD)
- Serendipity anon (if that's alright? I don't think this name isn't taken yet, so I hope so!)
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"Kaveh?" you asked. "Hm?" he looked up from his sketches with that signature attractive smile of his that always made your heart skip a beat. "I think I like you." you blurted out with confidence you never knew you had. But it was true. You've had feelings for him for the longest time now. "Wait, you like me? You mean me as in me, right?" Kaveh stammered, accidentally dropping his pen off the table while nervously fiddling around. "Well, do happen you see any other Kaveh here?" you retorted with a soft chuckle as you could feel the heat rise to your face. "Uuuh, well, uhm. No, I guess not... I just never thought you'd like me that way." he almost whispered beginning to lift his briefcase in front of his face. But even that wasn't enough to hide the blush that was beginning to bloom across his cheeks. "I-I like you, too."
A/N: Thank you so much! I really loved your prompt. Thanks so much for participating! And of course, you can be serendipity anon! Welcome!! :3
[Pigments of the Soul - Event]
[Bonus UTC]
"Alhaitham! You will not believe me what happened?" Kaveh blurted out as soon as he walked through the front door of their shared home. "I have a significant other!" he proudly boasts hoping to elicit some kind of reaction from his stoic roommate. "Okay. And?" Alhaitham simply retorts, briefly looking up from his book before promptly going back to reading. "And? And?! How about you say congratulations or... just anything! Ugh... but of course, you don't understand - the very concept of romance eludes you and your logic-riddled brain." "As long as they don't disturb my routine, I do not care." "Ugh, you are absolutely hopeless, Alhaitham!"
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lorillee · 8 months
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you should think about von karma-edgeworth piano au forever and then talk to me about it forever. nudges your shins with my nose like a small cat hi. hello. hi.
-karmaicperfection
ok thank you for indulging me @karmaicperfection 😭😭😭 i started answering this and then got IMMEDIATELY interrupted for like a good solid hour but anyways. obviously this is like spitballing concepts for an au but i think the easiest way to take this is frankly just . incredibly adjacent to your lie in april (an anime which, if you have not seen, you should absolutely 10000000% go watch because im clinically insane about it and it is quite possibly my most favorite anime other than one piece . speaking of i should rewatch it again soon. anyways) except without the romance (which like. To Be Honest i think ylia would have done better without but WHATEVERRRR i suppose the romance is the hook for the average viewer) and obviously adjusted for character dynamics.
so obviously manfred is like world famous virtuoso classical pianist, born a prodigy baby, got private tutoring from some insanely famous pianist, and never lost a competition - plays always 1000000% to the score and never deviates an inch and to even entertain the idea is nothing short of heretical. since generally competitions are going to be judged by how perfectly the pianist plays, manfred always wins even if somebody else has a more interesting or frankly better interpretation of the piece. the main problem here is how the heck he's supposed to cheat since the thing with piano competitions and performances is like you either know the piece or you dont you cant cheat on that so maybe he's just like bribing the judges to favor perfection as opposed to their personal preference. i think he'd be a huge tchaikovsky & rachmaninoff & chopin kind of guy like tell me the revolutionary is not EXACTLY the kind of thing manfred would be playing (like those ending chords ??? you cannot tell me you cant just see him going absolutely ham)
naturally then gregory is another world famous virtuoso classical pianist, but instead of following the score 1:1 he puts a lot more emphasis on personal interpretation - he's very very popular with the people, but in competitions he's always divisive with the judges since some of them are real sticklers for sticking to the dynamics written on the page while others are more open to whatever he's doing. im thinking his taste probably falls more under beethoven & bach & mozart & chopin. i guess during some competition he somehow finds out that a few of the judges were being bribed & reveals this to the public and the Elevator Incident goes as per canon.
miles is like eight i think at that point so he's been taking piano for a few years but since when youre like eight your hands really arent big enough to be playing anything terribly hard, gregory's influence hasnt been set in stone yet - manfred obviously begins imparting the "The Score Is Absolute" mentality onto him. i think he'd also be a lot more strict on teaching music theory (something admittedly i never actually learned like anything about because i was huuuuuge brat and blatantly refused to do the workbooks my teacher gave me and i guess she just gave up 😭😭😭) than gregory. as far as miles' personal preferences go i think hed like chopin & debussy & tchaikovsky & bach. franziska is obviously also baby prodigy girl - she's absurdly competitive and very much a "practicing 8 hours a day minimum" kind of girl. her preferences are anything loud fast and difficult (1) more fun to play 2) gives her the opportunity to show off 3) much more rewarding upon mastery) so very very much a beethoven & rachmaninoff & chopin kind of girl, but also i think miles would give her an appreciation for slower & more sensitive pieces
anyways so i guess in this au phoenix would also be a WAIT LOLLLL hes already a pianist in canon. sorry the fact that that stupid pub he works in literally has a steinway baby grand in it and all phoenix does is complain about having to play it like. grabs you. throws you to the side. scoot over and let me PLAYYYYYYYYYYY .anwyays. anyways ok this is literally the premise of your lie in april but i guess phoenix was inspired to take up piano after hearing miles play when he was like 7 at some school talent show thing and like keeps tabs on him as he rises through the piano world but is distraught to find out miles has abandoned the art of actual interpretation in favor of sticking religiously to the script and through competitions teaches him the value of making the piece truly yours to impart some actual message and feeling to the audience instead of playing like a robot. of course this au isnt about him so thats like all im going to say on that
wait oh theres a problem here. if manfred kills gregory how in the world does that get resolved . ummmmmmm . hm. ok whatever lets just table that for now its not important. actually objectively the funniest way for this au to go is to give it the exact same amount of murder and melodrama and stakes as in the normal series except everybodys a pianist for some reason. this is incredibly tangential im getting wildly off track here but like klavier has the exact same huge fanbase of hormonal teenage girls except hes just like playing schumann. godot is like a jazz pianist that they keep letting enter into these classical piano competitions for some reason. the detectives are their accompanists? many thoughts. okay side tangent over lets get back to the main point here
franziska's arc in aa2 would probably still be the same re: even after manfred's gone she still sticks rigidly to the dynamics written on the score to the point of technical perfection, but completely lacking in personal emotion & interpretation - phoenix's repeated wins over her not due to his sticking to the score but rather to the brilliancy of his interpretations keep rooting up the beliefs that have been absolutely ingrained into her from birth, and miles helps her realize that to be honest actually having something to say when playing a piece is an artistic improvement over being The Most Accurate To The Score. and now i just want to draw everybody at the piano
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yunoteru4ever · 10 months
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Musing about the forbidden appeal of stalkers and how Mirai Nikki's framework benefits the overall love story
Something I think is unspoken about the appeal of... oh, let's politely say off-kilter *cough* love stories such as the one at the center of Future Diary is that, for many people, the idea of having a stalker can sound... appealing? Romantic, even?
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Let me explain what I mean in more detail: If you've never truly experienced the horror/stress of having a stalker? The idea of someone choosing YOU to fixate upon as the object of their unyielding love/lust can actually sound pretty nice, in concept. Hell — even moreso if you've never had anyone openly and proudly declare their love for you. The notion of having a stalker can feel VALIDATING, even! The less luck you have in love, the more that discovering you have your own stalker can sound like a weird, wonderful fantasy. Or, shit... even if you're doing just fine in the dating/romance department, imagining someone harboring an undying obsession/devotion can still feel like a massive ego boost.
My point is: When dealing with a stalker is only a distant, abstract and purely theoretical concept, the "horror" side of it can easily fade into the far background. So yeah, I think there's a certain Forbidden Appeal to stalker-romances for many, despite the inherent darkness and danger that could/should logically come with such a thing. (Especially in RL, of course.)
In that context, the way Mirai Nikki's central love story is presented and framed is especially genius. And I say that for two primary reasons:
First reason — Mirai Nikki taps into that Forbidden Appeal partly by giving Yuno an increasingly sympathetic portrayal, but importantly also by placing this unhinged stalker character into a framework where her biggest downsides become comprehensible or even beneficial. Sure, Yuno seems to have a taste for violence and blood, but she's trapped in a goddamn Killing Game where both her own life and the fate of the fucking world is at stake. Furthermore, we later learn there's a ticking clock element that demands the "game" crown a victor ASAP. Against this background, Yuno's violence and darkness becomes, at worst, a bit of evil that's also handily beneficial. And at best? Her behavior becomes totally understandable due to contextual morality. (Besides, it also provides us with a reason to exploit yet another off-kilter romantic concept that can hold a dark appeal for some: the "willing to kill for you"-level love.)
Second reason — Yet in spite of what I just said, Future Diary doesn't shy away (...much*) from the threat inherent to having someone develop an unhealthy obsession with another. Yuno isn't some harmlessly funny sitcom stalker, nor is she the kind of stalker who the narrative fails to ever acknowledge as such in order preserve the "purity" of the central relationship's appeal. Yuki recognizes her as an obsessive stalker from the very beginning! There's no denying that she's violent and clearly dangerous! The fact that she's mentally unstable and therefore seems unpredictable is absolutely core to her character! The story is utterly up-front about these things... and it never lets us forget that, for all that we may feel bad for her or understand her actions, she's still a threat/potential threat to EVERYBODY around her.
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Long after it's clear that the bizarre situation makes Yuno's worst traits much more positive, there are still MANY instances when the narrative reminds us of just how much of an unpredictable threat she is to even her supposed allies.
However...
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*...I added that "(...much*)" caveat because there are some rare exceptions . A signature aspect of every Sakae Esuno story to date is the way he delights in swerving from the primary horror/suspense/action focus over to sudden bursts of comedy. For that reason, Mirai Nikki is definitely guilty of playing Yuno's stalking as mere 'wacky hijinx' on select occasions — for better or worse. For me, these sudden breaks in the tension are quirky and delightful, but I can understand if individual mileage varies.
All of this is really just me thinking out loud about why the portrayal of such a clearly "problematic" relationship works so well for me and many others. It isn't afraid to confront the inherent problems, but it also provides a (totally unrealistic) framework in which the problems are more tolerable, maybe even acceptable. It makes the stalker sympathetic via the gradual reveal of her backstory, but it also never lets us forget that's she's legit dangerous. And it does all of this while showing us a twisted relationship that might already be oddly appealing to some members of the audience.
Besides, look — Esuno knows this is pretty "out there" stuff. He was once asked if he'd want to date someone like Yuno himself. In that interview, he laughed before replying, "It's probably best we keep that kind of relationship in the realm of fiction." So it's not like he's legitimately recommending that anyone go out and date a crazed stalker. That's part of why the framework has to be SO extreme and SO fantastical for it work so well, IMO.
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irregularcollapse · 7 months
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@littlerockmelonhead I hope you don't mind that I'm answering these questions as their own post! I just think the answers may be a little long and I find this easier than replies hahaha
Re: Auguste, I've actually already talked about him here and here! These posts are from when updates were maybe... halfway through? So readers hadn't had the big reunion yet! At the current stage, things have pretty much been completely revealed, but these posts sort of lay it all out in an explanatory way.
So, was it all planned from the beginning or did it grow in the telling? Sort of both, but not really. Right at the very beginning of writing, the concept was just "Outlander-inspired time slip with marriage of convenience." I knew I wanted to explore an 'Auguste lives' version of events, and I knew that I wanted to do a 'fish out of water' narrative for Laurent. I knew that thematically, I wanted to explore the nature of storytelling, love as religion, and fate/destiny. I knew, above everything, that the story would be about Laurent learning to love himself and value his own strength.
[Cut because this got. Too long.]
I wrote some test paragraphs, and I think around two draft chapters before I actually planned everything else out. This is my first foray into fantasy, and it's the first time I've tried tackling a plot with a few more moving parts than the standard contemporary romance (notoriously light on plot, those). In my original writing, I'm definitely a fan of documenting my planning and being as prepared as I can possibly be before writing. I never do that with fic. I plan in my head, because I'm not necessarily trying to have something completely polished and tight -- I prefer to experiment and explore and try things out. Fic is like my workshop. That said, I absolutely did plan out EIAT, the plot beats and the scenes and even some specific lines. I just didn't really write any of it down. Regardless of what I'm writing, I keep a "scraps" document to put in anything that is too fragmented or non-chronological for the chapter I'm currently working on. A lot of conversations, scenes, and little ideas went into the scraps doc until I reached that point in the writing and could edit/insert them. The "not doing a traditional written plan" part of this is probably why, when I started figuring out the plot, I estimated it would be a 50k fic 💀 I've never claimed comprehending word counts to be a strong suit of mine lmfaoooo
Alright, now! The Sunburst!! As you may remember, the symbol of the Veretian royal family in the books is a starburst. So why, then, is Laurent the Sunburst in EIAT? Well, it's a metaphor innit. There are a few coordinating symbologies working here. Lions are actually symbolically linked with suns, due to their colouring and manes -- those things the lion represents like power, strength, royalty, loyalty (the reasons that the Lion is Damen's symbol) are actually crossover meanings for the sun in various cultures. Suns are historically a royal symbol, being associated with power and light, and are also associated with hope. In Greek mythology specifically, there is the God of the Sun, Apollo: also the god of enlightenment/knowledge, the arts (including poetry), healing, and prophecies. Oracles were often associated with Apollo, such as the Oracle of Delphi -- and they were also stationed near sacred pools that allowed them to commune with him. Can you see how it all fits together?
I began with the plot points of the prophecy and the poem. I knew that the prophecy would say that Laurent was the one who was destined to free Vere -- the hope of Vere. As I did more reading about symbols and also Greek myths, it all started to click into place. Laurent is the Sunburst to Vere because he is their hope for a brighter future; a new dawn is coming, etc. etc. Then to Akielos, he is basically the God of the Sun: he has knowledge of the future, he emerged from the King's Waters, he's highly intelligent and interested in the arts (and writes an epic poem). The symbolism of healing and warming is also important to it all -- Laurent and Damen heal each other (physically and emotionally), warm each other, essentially become each others' guiding lights.
I find it a bit hard to explain how/where/why ideas come from, but hopefully this helps you to see what I was thinking when I came up with it! Basically, it's all intended to feed heavily into the symbols and metaphors throughout the narrative, and so is a really core part of Laurent's character development too. See also this relevant web weave and these gold robes which I drew (soon to appear! In the next chapter, actually!)
I feel like that Charlie Day crazy board meme but congrats if you made it to the end of this. I've just. Put a lot of thought into making the fic layered and interesting and I'm so. Grateful and chuffed and emotional about people caring about those layers. Thanks so much for these questions <3 <3 <3
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shsenhaji · 1 year
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📚 Tress of the Emerald Sea - Book Review
Goodreads Link: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/5265296349
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Genre: Adult fantasy, adventure, rescuing a loved one, fairytale vibe, ships and pirates, romance.
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Tress of the Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson was a delight. The first of his four secret projects, set within the wider world of his Cosmere universe yet not necessarily connecting to any one series, follows the titular heroine Tress as she embarks on an adventure to save her friend Charlie.
First of all, the novel’s framing provided a unique and strong voice. Narrated by a familiar Cosmere character who also appears in the book, the book seamlessly weaves between the narrator’s strong voice and opinions, and the perspective of Tress herself. It feels as if we are being told a story in the best sort of way, which also emphasizes the fairytale-esque vibe of the plot and the characters. It also allows the reader to acquire fun facts about the world-building and it provides some nuanced mediations on the characters within the novel, without it feeling out of place, out of character, or interfering with the flow of the story.
Secondly (and most importantly), the characters and the plot were delightful. I absolutely loved Tress, who is an ordinary girl (and really feels like one) and yet decides to undertake a crazy plan for love - because it is the right thing to do, because someone should do something, and that someone is her. She has flaws the reader (and the narrator) notices from the beginning, and seeing her not only blossom and manage amazing feats but also grow out of her previous (and potentially harmful) mindset was very cathartic.
I loved her pragmatic and matter-of-fact manner, as well as her kindness, determination, and very real fears and doubts. The metaphors (especially the glove) as well as Tress’ love of cups were important through-lines that also tied in very nicely with the plot and the novel’s messages. The other characters were all great; real, fleshed out, often subverting expectations. I really appreciated the inclusiveness and diversity of several characters, who are allowed to exist and be complex without it feeling tokenistic.
The romance present in the story was so well-written, and truly provided a microcosm of the novel’s overall messages and themes.
The worldbuilding itself was definitely unique. The entire concept of the spores - how the moons and the seas worked, the different types of seas, how that affected our main character but the world itself as well - was detailed, vivid, and provided for some quite spectacular scenes. I also liked how the narrator slowly opened up the scope of the world, starting with Tress’ island and the basic concept of the spores, to the realities of sailing on the seas and the political and socio-economic relations.
It felt real, and was truly intrinsic to the story and the characters; as well, due to the narration, there was that otherwordly and ethereal quality to everything. I also find it fascinating that many concepts behind the worldbuilding was based on real science.
Finally, the illustrations (found in both the ebook version and the Dragonsteel hardcover edition) were absolutely gorgeous, and really brought key scenes (as well as the accompanying emotions) to life.
Tress of the Emerald Sea is a beautiful story; kind, full of adventure and character growth and amazing worldbuilding, and with a really great ending. It manages to subvert and critique a lot of tropes, but never in a way that feels mean or out of place. I loved it so much more than I thought I would, and I was already predisposed to like it already.
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ro-blaze · 7 months
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Riju should make fun of Zelda for having the hots for her dad. She should drag Zelda for it constantly. That is what friends do! They may have your back forever, but they're also going to pick up on things that make you wish you never told them anything and tease you about it.
tbh I think all of Gan's kids above a certain age will start teasing her, but Riju is definitely the one who matters the most for her, as the two of them became friends rather quickly after they met, and Zelda really thinks of highly of her.
Zelda is something of… well I wouldn't call her a babysitter, but her unofficial position is something like Gan's assistant, or perhaps co-ruler in training if you will, and so she spends a lot of time doing whatever he does, and that includes daily visits to see his children. he's a very attentive father. she hangs out with the older girls and plays with the younger ones, and by the time their romance begins, she's already been sort of accepted in the family. Gan took her under his wings, Nabooru likes her, and all of the major ladies have welcomed her into their fold, so everything is perfectly chill.
Riju is, I think, the first person they *officially* tell, or at least the second after Nabs (who is Gan's sister), and she's sworn to secrecy as to preserve Zelda's image in front of the Hylian court, who naturally won't accept their princess cavorting with the scary foreigner king. Riju does however take any opportunity to tease both Zelda and Gan about it, in a very good-natured manner. Gan is mostly used to it and often tells her she will understand when she's a bit older because he knows it always makes her huff and puff, but Zelda isn't quite used to that teasing yet, and she tends to bite the bait.
they do often talk about it, and I think that when Riju wants to be really annoying, she either calls Zelda stepmother in Hylian (as Gerudo don't have such concept) or something along those lines, and it always makes Zelda make those affortned bird noises. Gan is highly entertained. "listen to your mother, Riju."
sidenote, Riju absolutely asks Zelda to not fuck her mom. unfortunately, Zelda does indeed fuck her mom. Urbosa also finds it hilarious. Riju threatens to disown both of her parents.
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mermaidsirennikita · 1 year
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Caro's February 2023 Book Recs
February was supposedly romance month, but as always, that was... a skewed concept, lol. Nonetheless, I found a lot of books I did love--read my first Kleypas in over a year (and it was great), found new favorites like Jeannie Lin's The Dragon and The Pearl and Cat Sebastian's Unmasked by the Marquess, and hit several really, really good ARCs (one of which did in fact make me weep).
Anyway, check 'em out!
Then Came You by Lisa Kleypas. Lily Lawson is known as a scandalous virago--though nobody knows what drives her to distract herself with parties and flirting. When she discovers that her sister has been lovelessly betrothed to the cold Earl of Wolverton, Alex Raiford, Lily takes an instant dislike to the man and sets out to ruin the engagement. What she doesn't expect is that, for all that Alex hates her, he also wants her--and he'll do anything to have her.
I love Dreaming of You--and it's still my favorite Kleypas--but I'd never heard much about the preceding book. I've kept Then Came You on ice, waiting for a rainy day to read it. And Jesus, is it underrated. This is kind of a perfect enemies to lovers book of its era. She's wild; he's uptight; both of them are a lot more complicated than they initially seem; she has a good reason to want him out of her sister's life, least of all his clear lust for Lily herself. It's a bit wild, it's a bit outrageous, it did things that actually surprised me--and Alex and Lily's chemistry is priceless. I just love a book where a cold man is set on fire by a woman he absolutely despises. You can see the beginning foundations for Westcliff and Lillian over a decade later--and of course, you get Derek Craven: The Early Years. The ground was laid so well for Derek to fall in love in his own book. In many ways, these novels are kind of perfect companions? I love it, I love it, I love it. 90s-to early 2000s-era Kleypas just hits different.
The Wolf and The Wildflower by Stacy Reid. ARC; read the full review here.
Butterfly Swords by Jeannie Lin. Since her father unexpectedly ascended to the rank of Emperor, Ai Li's life has changed. But though she wishes to be obedient to her father, she can't marry the warlord Li Tao, who she suspects of treason--and of murdering her brother. Running from her wedding, she runs into trouble--and the mysterious foreigner, Ryam. Neither Ryam nor Ai Li are being completely honest with each other. Neither, however, has any choice but to continue...
This one was so well-written. I've always had a surface level interest in Tang Dynasty China, but I'm not, by any means, an expert--yet Lin transports you to the era. It's extremely rich, and frames a kind of old school, classic story about a rebellious princess and a traveling stranger. Ryam and Ai Li's romance is, in many ways, a lot purer than what I usually like (I mean, not sexually--to be clear, they are FUCKIN'). But they charmed me. And I mean. What a fantastic setup for the next book.
The Dragon and The Pearl by Jeannie Lin. After being rejected by the emperor's daughter, treacherous and powerful warlord Li Tao sets out to capture the previous emperor's most prized possession--famed courtesan Ling Suyin. Believing that Suyin has information he needs, Li Tao keeps her captive... but finds himself falling prey to her quiet, mysterious allure--and manipulations.
THIS SHIT WAS SO LIT. Villainous hero? Check--Li Tao has a clear menace and coldness about him. He's not over the top, but he's brutally efficient and ruthless. Heroine ready to wrap him around her little finger? Check. Suyin is innocent in some ways, but very much aware of the ways of the world in many others--and she's survived by becoming a master manipulator. The delicious thing about this dynamic is that he knows she's trying to play him--but he's too drawn to her to use his better judgment. This is one of those romances where both people clearly come to feel immense passion for each other, but are unable to say it aloud. They come together (and COME together) in bed, but they won't let themselves fully trust one another. Plus, there's the added bonus of them both being self-made legends in severely hierarchal systems. As renowned as he is, so is she. Because he's so rarely soft--the moments when he is fucking destroyed me. And she's just a wonderfully, quietly strong heroine. The plot is intricate and high stakes. It's just so good, y'all!
Unmasked by the Marquess by Cat Sebastian. Alistair, the Marquess of Pembroke, is upright, proper, and very aware of his reputation in light of his scandalous father's death. So he's disarmed by how easily he's drawn to Robert Selby, a young man who needs Alistair's help in finding his sister a husband. Alistair and Robert become fast friends--with perhaps more simmering under the surface. What Alistair doesn't know? Robert is Charity Church, a housemaid who feels much more at home in a man's clothes than she ever has a woman's--and is attempting to make up for what she perceives as a wrong done to a friend long ago. Charity can't quite resist Alistair; but even if he knew the truth of her identity, how could he possibly accept who she really is?
Another "much recommended classic book is very good" moment. To clarify, Robert/Charity is nonbinary and Cat Sebastian says that they're comfortable with the uses of she/her pronouns (which are used throughout the book, except for when Alistair thinks they're a man). Cat also discusses them using they/them, which is what I will use, as well as their chosen name of Robin, which is how they and Alistair primarily refer to them.
With that said, this is one of the rare friends to lovers romances that works, and oH DOES IT. Alistair and Robin get each other on every level--platonically, romantically, sexually--and it doesn't take long for Alistair to discover (or rather, just be told because honestly he's a bit dense) Robin's true identity. This allows Sebastian to get into the meat of their conflict, which, aside from various secrets Robin's kept for quite some time, is in Robin's identity and their need to express themselves... While also wanting to be with Alistair. The fact is that Robin can, if they make certain moves, theoretically live as a woman and as a marchioness--but for all that they care about Alistair, is that right? Does Alistair fully get how important Robin's identity and expression is to them? These are issues the book tackles without it feeling like a Very Special Episode ever--it's just a part of the conflict in their romance. There's not really any body dysmorphia in this book, which I appreciate; if that's handled well, then great, but it's not a part of every nonbinary person's story, and it's not really something Robin struggles with. The book's queerness is just front and center (Alistair is bisexual, knows this before the book begins, and though he fears outing, doesn't dwell on it much). On a very basic level, it's also just a funny, sexy book; the sex scenes are REAL GOOD, and are exactly the kind of scenes I want from friends to lovers; hardcore fucking with a side of laughter and affection and like... tender fondness. Anyway, I loved it, would recommend.
The Hunter by Monica McCarty. Ewen Lamont is the tracker of the Highland Guard, burdened with familial responsibility. He's caught off guard by a beautiful nun, however--and guilty about a near-miss moment they share. Until he finds out that the nun is actually not a nun at all, but Scottish courier (and former sister-in-law of Robert the Bruce) Janet of Mar. Bruce has a task for Ewen: to bring Janet safely home so that she can make a strategic marriage for the cause. The only problem? Janet very much wants Ewen--and she doesn't believe that he's not attracted to her.
Another really solid Highland Guard book even if it doesn't quite live up to the heights of The Recruit. There isn't quite as much keeping Ewen and Janet apart aside from what is in his head, but honestly... it works. In part because Janet is just so determined to have him. She's a dogged pursuer of a heroine (a type I have a soft spot for) and she does everything she can to break Ewen--asking him to help her undress, parading around in breeches, flirting with his friends, stripping naked when he suggests it just to freak her out... In many ways, this is a medieval roadtrip romance, and their back and forth is super fun and certainly sexy, with just the right amount of angst.
Highland Conquest by Heather McCollum. The four Sinclair brothers were raised by their insane father to act as the four horsemen of the apocalypse--united to conquer weaker Scottish clans and unite them under their rule. Following his father's death, Cain Sinclair becomes Chief, and his first order of business is to marry Ella Sutherland, the Sutherland chief and the woman responsible for the loss of his father. Ella doesn't come willingly, but as she and Cain enter into a battle of wills, she finds herself drawn to the one man whose sense of pride and determination to win matches her own...
If you're someone who needs enemies to lovers to mean bloodshed? This is for you. Cain and Ella literally kill each other's fathers--he gets hers before the beginning of the book, and she gets his in the first few pages. While both of them have admittedly insane fathers who deserved it (Cain's very literally believed his four sons are the four horsemen, and boy do these men have complexes about it) they still take it personally.. at first. This is a fast-paced, over the top read that isn't perfect (I think it could've gone a bit harder in terms of drama at points) but IS fun. I had a great time. It didn't make me think over-much, but it did give me the feelings, and I am about these loony brothers.
The Knight by Monica McCarty. James Douglas--known as "the Black Douglas"--is feared across Scotland and England for his brutal warfare in service of Robert the Bruce and his own ambitions. But to Joanna, who's known him since childhood, he's just her love, and the man who took her virginity. When James returns from war, she intends to tell him she's carrying his child, assuming that he'll happily marry her. But before she can, James makes it clear that he has no intention of marrying Joanna--just in keeping her as his mistress, a fate she can't tolerate. When they separate with James still in their dark about her secret, he's forced to make tough decisions about who he wants to be--and how much he values Joanna.
This novella covered a lot of shit in a short amount of time... and it's pretty different! James Douglas, Lord of Douglas, was a real person. I did in fact picture Aaron Taylor-Johnson, who played him in Outlaw King, the entire time (it was a good choice). I assume that since his wife is not listed on his wikipedia page there is some murkiness there... And I'm good with the way Monica McCarty played with history here. This is basically a classic "man does a good woman wrong, must grovel big time" book. A lot of this novella is groveling--and it should be, because James fucked this girl over. But just as he has to get his shit together, she has to get a backbone and become less innocent... and I'm a bit of a sucker for all that. Some probably read this and think what he did was unforgivable, and like. Sure. If you please. I found their story kind of touching and real, for all its dramatic medieval Scotland shit. Again, a lot happens in a little time--but I was here for the angst.
Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall. ARC; review to come at a later date.
Highland Warrior by Heather McCollum. This book sees self-proclaimed Horsemen of War Joshua Sinclair in Orkney, where he's ready to leave violence behind after a traumatic experience. However, after a wild night with the widowed Kara, he's drawn into conflict again--she wants Joshua to help her defend her village, suffering under tyranny. He's much less eager; but for Kara, he might not be able to resist.
This series is very old school, very pulpy, and just... fun. There's a lot of camp in this one--faked deaths, faked third testicles (yes), our hero getting dragged into being a total stranger's birthing partner... But I was actually super invested in Joshua and Kara as a couple through it all. They hook up early (like, a couple chapters in early) and catch feelings later, and I enjoy that. I also liked the dynamic of a quietly strong woman basically running roughshod over this douchebag of a hero. He's a simp, Your Honor. There's a real Western vibe to this one--a stranger rides into town and gets roped into protecting the people while falling in love with a headstrong single mother (whose child, thankfully, is largely offscreen and mostly serves to show Kara that Joshua is made of 100% Father Material). It's just... fun.
The Arrow by Monica McCarty. Gregor MacGregor is known for two things: being the best archer in Scotland, and being the most handsome man in Scotland. The former has made him an invaluable part of the Highland Guard, while the latter has earned him many obsessed women... Among them his ward, the orphaned Cate. But Cate claims that her feelings for Gregor go beyond infatuation, and despite their age difference and his sense of responsibility for her, she'll do anything to prove it. And he might not be able to resist.
This is definitely one of the riskier outings in the Highland Guard--McCarty tries for a lot of things that romance readers often hate. The obsessed heroine (a trope I love, and I frankly found Cate quite endearing), the resistant hero, That One Thing. Most of it worked for me. The resolution was a little too quick, but I loved Gregor trying and failing to hold out against Cate's onslaught of flirtation, how dirty that made him feel, her determination, how horny they both were... The conflict towards the end did feel a bit--I don't want to say contrived, but I think that if McCarty had moved up a lot of the action in this one about fifty pages earlier, it would've felt smoother. Nonetheless, my quibbles really didn't overpower what I enjoyed.
Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan. Josiah and Yasmen had what many considered the perfect marriage--until they didn't. Now, two years after their divorced, they're co-parenting their two children and running a business together. But as big milestones--like moving on and coming to terms with their grief--bring them back into each other's orbit, both Josiah and Yasmen have to wonder if their feelings for each other are totally gone... and if they're brave enough to try again.
Look, this one is a lot. Kennedy Ryan is a beautiful writer, and she does angst wonderfully--and there's a lot of angst in this one. It's a rather realistic romance. None of Josiah and Yasmin's issues are easily fixed. Both of them have fucked up. They dealt with problems that are not their fault and happen to everyone (heads up: they lost a parental figure to both of them and experienced a stillbirth in rapid succession). This is not a light romance. But it is a hopeful one, and if you like second chances--you'll love this. You just want the best for these two, and the best is in fact each other.
Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall. Valentine, the Duke of Malvern, is in a bind when the woman he's planned to marry since their fathers arranged it when they were children, Arabella Tarleton, goes on the run. Arabella has no desire to marry Valentine, but he's determined to do his duty, and is enlisted by her twin, the sunny and carefree Bonaventure "Bonny", to find her. As Valentine and Bonny go on a madcap race through the English countryside together, stiff Valentine finds himself confronted by Arabella's erstwhile admirers, a pair of protective sapphic women, and his own growing fascination with bee-loving, pleasure-seeking, totally-wrong-for-him... Bonny.
Alexis Hall has such a strong voice--whimsical, romantic, hilarious, witty as fuck. And I love it. While Something Spectacular is also funny, it has an air of past tragedy and a bit more angst, whereas this is more firmly a romcom. A romcom with its own dash of drama, but I did quite literally laugh out loud during the reading experience. Valentine and Bonny are the perfect grumpy/sunshine dynamic, and watching them fall in love was pure joy. Even if Arabella is... a lot. She's a plot-instigating lot, so I'm good with it.
The Raider by Monica McCarty. Robbie "Raider" Boyd was imprisoned by the English, and the only way he was able to escape was with the help of the teenage noblewoman who helped him. Six years later, he's taken her hostage--the beautiful Rosalin Clifford. And he wants revenge on the English for everything they've done to his family--the weight of which is devastating--but he also simply... wants Rosalin. A relationship between one of Robert the Bruce's most prized warriors and an English lady is impossible. But neither Robbie nor Rosalin seem capable of remembering it.
A good old-fashioned enemies to lovers warrior/lady romance. It felt hotter than some of the other Highland Guard books--there's a scene against a pole that is... a lot. I'll admit that there's a back and forth that McCarty falls into in some of these books; "we can't be together"/"but sir I want to"/"no little girl" (fucks). It's pleasing, but it is noticeable, especially in the past few I've read. I think I prefer some of the earlier entries, or those without a virgin heroine, which the past few I've read have... always had. But that's kind of the thing with a long-running series, and the beats here are still very enjoyable, and if you're looking for escapism... This is it. The next one I'm reading is marriage in trouble, though, and after four virgin heroines in a row in this series, I'm ready for a changeup.
End of Story by Kylie Scott. Stinging from a bad breakup, Susie seeks respite in the house left to her by her aunt. Until, that is, the contractor sent to help her renovate is Lars, her ex's best friend. And stranger still? They find a divorce certificate in the wall of the house... one dated ten years in the future, with Lars and Susie's names on it. Though initially combative, Lars and Susie become close friends, with a simmer tension between them. But what's the point of taking a chance on a relationship that may be doomed to end?
Kylie Scott is one of my favorite contemporary romance novelists, and she gives all of her trademarks here--hot sex scenes, a sparkling sense of humor, and amazing sexual tension. Lars and Susie sell friends to lovers amazingly, which is hard for me. Additionally, there's a charming sense of magic and witchiness to this. Don't expect answers about where that comes from--that's not the point. However, enjoy the vibes, the heat, and the sweetness. I had some questions about choices made, but they weren't dealbreakers. This would make a great romcom onscreen.
The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by K.J. Charles. ARC; get my full take here.
A Rogue's Rules for Seduction by Eva Leigh. ARC; review to come closer to publication.
It Seemed Like A Good Idea At the Time by Kylie Scott. Seven years ago, Adele was "exiled" by her father after her attempted seduction of his best friend and business partner, Pete. Now, with bridges mended with her father--and still very much broken with Pete, fifteen years her senior--she's back in town for a wedding, and tension with the man she idolized as a teenager has never been thicker. Making nice for a few days should be enough--but Adele and Pete might be tempted to go a bit further than that...
If you're not into age gap romances, this isn't for you. Though Pete never approached or encouraged Adele when she was underage, they met when she was sixteen, and she certainly wasn't shy about flirting with him. We get flashbacks telling their history, but the bulk of the story takes place in the present, when she's twenty-five and he's forty. It's classic Kylie Scott--funny, sexy, with a guy who doesn't know how to feel his feelings and a girl who's a bit too dickmatized to notice... until she does. I compared this a bit to Deep, a book that had similar elements (an age gap, though less significant than this one, among... other things) and I do feel like Deep goes a bit... well, deeper. But I had a lot of fun with this, and it gave me pretty much everything I wanted out of a "dating daddy's best friend" book. Including spanking.
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Cheers to the New Year! Here's some plot bunnies to keep you warm.
PAST PLOT BUNNIES:
Direction, Sacrifice, Childhood, Mental Health, Wish
LGBTQ+, InuKik, InuKag, KagKog, MirSan, General
Direction, Headcanon
Holiday, Winter, Random
VALENTINE'S DAY & ROMANCE:
Inuyasha wants to better himself so Kagome will love him. Badgers Miroku into teaching him how to read and write. Ever the mischievous monk, Miroku does teach him but he doesn't exactly tell Inuyasha that what he's writing is 'I love you' and not his name.
Three years of living on his own made Inuyasha very aware that he didn't know shit about shit when it came to living in a stable environment. Secretly proud of his accomplishments, Inuyasha nervously prepares Kagome a very simple dinner complete with meat he hunted and vegetables from his modest little hidden garden to ease her into the idea of marrying him. 'It wouldn't be that bad, huh?'
The gift Inuyasha got for Kagome was totally for Kagome and not really a gift for him at all. (Ex: 'What? You had a cat. Don't you like cats?')
With help from Sota, Inuyasha practices what he wants to say to Kagome while Mama Higuarashi secretly eavesdrops. It's all for naught though. Inuyasha chickens out and Kagome doesn't know this ever happened until she might never see him again.
After yet another encounter with the annoying yet always half-naked pretty boy Koga, Inuyasha very awkwardly tries to get Kagome’s attention by stripping off his upper layers and flexing every muscle he can to look more attractive. Everyone is confused and uncomfortable.
Inuyasha misunderstands the concept of Valentine's Day. Is initially overjoyed when given a gift - especially after eavesdropping at her school all day - but is left heartbroken when all of their friends get little gifts too. There's nothing special about him, is there?
Sango is suspicious when Miroku keeps going on exorcisms and coming back acting a little too innocent. Concerned that he's cheating on her, she follows behind only to discover that he's really doing something incredibly sweet. It just takes time and costs money he's been working to save up.
After the quest has ended and Kagome has returned, Shippo has got himself yet another little girlfriend but, unlike the others, she's a little cray cray. Can't shake her either and not even Inuyasha's attempts to scare her away work. At his absolute wits end, Shippo takes a risk and goes to Soten with a proposition. Winds up getting more than he bargained for.
Do you hear that? It's the winds of change:
New year, new me. Kagome decides she's going to cut her hair and change up her wardrobe. Inuyasha has a meltdown the likes of which no one has seen before. Turns out hair is more important to him than even he's comfortable admitting. 'Your hair is gone.' 'Yes, the hair is gone.' 'Why is the hair gone?'
Instead of whatever plot Yashahime is doing, Mohora, Inuyasha and Kagome are not separated. As she approaches the toddler phase, Mohora gets frustrated that her over-protective and hypervigilant daddy won't let her do anything on her own. Inuyasha has to learn that he won't always be there to protect her and he needs to teach her independence. Just not right now. She's just a baby dammit.
Being with Kikyo wasn't all bad. Especially in the beginning. Those were actually some of the best days of his life.
After his daughters are born, Miroku decides to give up sake for good. This is harder than he expects despite telling himself he didn't drink that often.
After being forced back into her time, Kagome struggles to readjust to a 'normal' life. There was nothing special about her here.
GENERAL:
I see dead people. Lots of them. All those dead people have started to show up as if they never left with no recollection of what happened or how they got here. Inuyasha and Sango really don't want to do anything about this.
Inuyasha can’t figure out whether he's awake or asleep. It's not all good or all bad but in either scenario, his life's gotten pretty extreme.
The new moon comes and the new moon goes. Inuyasha stays human when the sun comes out and proceeds to flip a shit.
Sango discovers caffeine.
AU:
Earth is dying. Humanity nears extinction. Some well-intentioned aliens kidnap the survivors to bring them home unaware that - like Superman - on their planet humans get superpowers. This pisses off leadership.
No one remembers why the walls were built, no one wishes to leave either.
Kagome falls in love with an immortal who finds her each lifetime. Shes find this out by stumbling across a photo album of all his “exes” who all look like her carbon copy. Looks like they all died super early and horribly too. Weird.
Inuyasha and Kagome are vampires who've been friends forever. One day while Kagome is visiting a museum, she comes across a letter written in his distinctive handwriting and immediate picks up the phone. 'What the hell? You've loved me all this time!' 'What are you talking about?!' 'Those stacks of letters you donated fifty years ago? They're on display!' 'Oh.'
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thegeminisage · 1 year
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25-28 for broken road please 🙏
aww bestie it makes me so 🥺 that people still think about broken road...ok here we go
25. Which idea came to you first in [x fic]?
i don't remember if i've said on here but there were two big ones...one was the scene in chapter 3 where dean and cas talk in the car. in the original conception of this fic, there wasn't any of the romance/smut stuff after because it was going to be gen. it was also taking place concurrently/directly after what is now the "dean and jack watch movies" scene. i had initially pictured it as them having that talk as dean taught jack how to shoot pool, and then dean hanging back while the rest of his family played pool with jack and having a shorter, quieter moment with cas by the bar or something while they watched. in the end the fic wound up being mostly bunker-centric (alas!) bc i couldn't justify pool when they were on the clock re: michael, and the order shifted so that the jack bit took place later and dean and cas got to get busy in the car, but the main tone and even some of the dialogue stayed true to the inital conception
the OTHER "first idea" for this fic was cas and john's confrontation. originally i think cas's line was something like, "i'm going to give you something your family never could: the truth." the basic tone is the same, but i had to rework the exact dialogue because it actually would have been a huge violation of dean's trust to tell john dean's secrets - even if it was to hurt john (maybe especially then), even in justifiable anger. he did tell him the truth, and the more important one! he just didn't betray dean's trust.
26. Which part of [x fic] was the hardest to write?
i had a hard time making dean and cas fight about 3 quarters of the way through. i also remember being absolutely tortured by some restructuring i had to do re: dean's arc with his repressed anger at john, but that's mostly because i hate editing. actually, i think the worst part was the timeline. the whole fic takes place in less than a week, and yet somehow it both begins and ends on a thursday...oops. that will haunt me forever
27. If you were ever to do a sequel to [x fic], what do you think might happen in it?
i actually talked about this here and here! i'm sorry if you've read those posts already. unfortunately i don't have a lot else to add!
28. In [x fic], what is a happy, post-fic headcanon you have about [pairing]?
i DO have one for this one though. do you remember the part where sam called dean gay but he said it lovingly but he was also torturing him because he deserved to do that? that but a more minor version for literally everyone they've ever met. i think it would do dean some good. like exposure therapy. yes i know exposure therapy is bad in real life, this is funny, let me have this
[behind the scenes fic meme]
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supercanaries · 1 year
Text
Reply to Curious Cat (12/15 - posting here for character limit)
Hey Edy, welcome to curious cat! I love your art, it's so great to find someone who likes both DabiHawks and RenKaza. Could you recommend some of your fav fics for both the pairings? I've been in the DabiHawks fandom longer so I've read a few but not really for RenKaza. (Sorry if I sent this Q a bajillion times, curious cat wasn't working for me LOL.)
Hey anon ♥ thank you so much for you words 🙏🏻 so glad you like both ships as well, they're so great!
It's quite the opposite for me, I've been in the AkaRenkaza fandom for longer and I just got into MHA! I will go ahead and list some of my favorite fics, or the ones I'm currently obsessed with!
Please, make sure to check out all the warnings and ratings before you read them!
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🔥❄️ AkaRen/RenKaza
FLEUR DE LUNE by Zyloa You've probably already read this one, but it's one of my absolute favorites! Slight canon divergence premise where the sun rises earlier at the Mugen train set and the entire story changes. I adore this story, I have read it a while ago and I still think it to be one of the best in canonverse.
DON'T FORGET TO BREATHE by Zyloa BEST!!!! I love this so, SO MUCH! For a change, Kyojuro finds out about Akaza's backstory right at the beginning, when they first meet at the Mugen Train because he gets accidentally sucked into his dreams, thank you Enmu. It's a lovely fic, some moments really got… to my… heart?? I was holding my breath and squealing asdfghjk. Just. Too. Good. No spoilers on it but just when you think it couldn't get any better… it does.
SMOKE & MIRRORS by emilieee A favorite! Demon Slayer set in modern AU with demons and demon slayer corps still being a thing! It's slow-build but it's such good romance!!! Also, Em is evil and she enjoys Akaza suffering so if you're into Akaza suffering, there's that! The updates of this story literally never miss!
WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE by DragonsAndCryptids T rated. This is a very lovely fic revolving around the concept of Senjurou becoming ill just like Ruka, and Akaza offers demon blood, so it deals with Kyojurou struggling to figure out if and how much he's willing to compromise to keep his little brother alive. Author's also writing a new RenKaza fic but I'm yet to start reading it!
THE NEVERENDING NIGHT by apodis This is absolutely wild. I LOVE this story, it just!! goes!! so hard!! It's like it's a book of its own and not a fan fiction. I'm sure you already know about this story but in case you don't, rush to it!
LITTLE FIGHTER BOY COMES MARCHING HOME by VTheTrashKing ADORABLE. But also very sad. Kyojuro's left to deal with a child version of Hakuji/Akaza. I think about this story a lot, sometimes I even sketch it. It's so nice.
IT'S ALWAYS SO by Chesh_Ire Sadly… :( This story hasn't updated anymore :( But I really loved the premise and these two chapters, so I'll drop them here anyway :( I thought about it so many times since reading it. Childhood sparring AkaRen (and then in the future stuff happens lmao), my heart!!
🪶💙 Dabi Hawks / TouKei
BIG REPUTATIONS by phanatics I thought at my age, after all this fandom experience 'I am NEVER reading fake relationship again'. But this is TOO good to pass on lol. Both make music and they need this fake relationship for different purposes. LMAO I'm obsessed with this fic!!! I think about scenes from it all the time haha embarrassing! I love all the social media posts and also how it manages to perfectly fit the canon story and characters into this AU setting. A lot of work into this one evidently!
INTO YOU by EloFromMars EXTREMELY CUTE because they're both unbearable. Hawks and Pro Hero Touya. They tease and annoy each other A LOT. I loved every second of it.
THRESHOLDS by phanatics Shiketsu high school AU. It's really cute and it will melt your heart. I really like stories where it's, you know, the little things, not necessarily 'too much', that make you go awwww. And this one does it. I actually wanna reread it as I type this.
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These are the ones that are on the top of my head right now, but there's so so many, so if you'd like more or if you've already read all of these, please ask away! There's also many lovely oneshots I have not included yet!
I'd love to hear your thoughts on the stories and to talk about them as well! Forgive me for taking two days to reply, I had forgot to download the CC app and so I didn't get any notification (dumb edy energy!) DW, you've only sent it once!
Have a lovely day and thank you for asking me! ♥
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