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fayrobertsuk · 6 months

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Poetry for ALL

Some personal anecdotes and a plea follow...

As quite a few of you know, I’ve been engaged in disability awareness and rights campaigning and other work since sometime in the 90s, so when I was given an opportunity to support and host an event dedicated to making performance poetry as accessible as possible in 2018, I jumped on it.

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Poetry for All is the brainchild (and heartchild, and soulchild) of Rose Drew, who I first met through one of Richard Tyrone Jones’s Utter events in London. She’s an extraordinary writer and performer, and a powerhouse of an events host and organiser. Within about 30 seconds of watching her on stage, I knew I wanted to be like her when I grew up as an artist. When she got in touch three years later to ask if I’d like to help out with what turned out to be the inaugural event, I threw myself into providing as much support as possible with enthusiastic abandon, and we pulled together a line-up which included the extraordinary performers Raymond Antrobus and DL Williams (“DeafFirefly”), both of whom I’d performed with before and was keen to see again.

Now, there’s a whole section on our new website about the history of the events where you can read the facts, but I want to say here that, personally, that first event in March 2018 (coincidentally on my birthday!) was an absolute eye-opener – seeing how poetry events could expand and develop the ideal of accessibility in ways I hadn’t considered. It was also extremely inspirational as I realised that, well, I was allowed to write about my disabilities. Seeing and hearing artist after artist sharing so much and so eloquently unlocked something in me that I didn’t even know I’d been repressing:

I’m allowed to be an openly disabled poet. I’m allowed to express my neurodivergence. I can tell my truth. 😱🤯

Bit of a culture-shock, but I owe so much to the poets and to Rose (and to Dave Wycherley, BSL interpreter extraordinaire – that’s a hard and physically/ mentally taxing job as it is, but to do that with poetry? on the fly?! breathtaking...) for helping me get to that starting point, knocking down the walls of my own internalised ableism.

So, apart from a paean to self-expression and why representation and finding tribe matters, and a screed of gratitude for new friends made and old friendships strengthened through the course of these events, why am I writing this? What’s with the hashtag? “Plea...?”

Well, so far, since you ask, all of our events have had local funding in York, where they’ve taken place exclusively so far. Rose applied for Arts Council England funding for this and next year for a tour comprising several venues and a host more disabled artists and BSL interpreters from various parts of the UK (all getting paid properly!), but we found out last week that we’d not got the money. Any of it. So our forthcoming event on 24th November in the gorgeous National Centre for Early Music is in jeopardy and, since the thought of Rose (herself a disabled artist on low wages) having to pay for this out of her own pocket was not to be supported, I threw myself at a plan of creating a (somewhat last-minute) Crowdfunder, so that we can at least pay for the venue, the artists’ and interpreters’ fees, the travel and accommodation expenses of those of us coming from out of town, and the costs of producing merchandise to sell. We’ll be producing an anthology in print and ebook form, as a joint publication between indie publishers Stairwell Books and Allographic Press. And, if we exceed our funding goal, there’ll be video and audio available of the event to boot!

We’ve created a frankly very exciting range of pledge rewards for people wanting to support us (all the way from £1 and £2 options, since money is tight, especially for disabled folk, right now, to more chunky ones like private mentoring, workshops, and a publishing package), and we’ve got three weeks(!) to raise our £1,500 to cover the shortfall from ticket and merch sales. Eeep! So, if you’re able to and would like to help us, we’d be ever so grateful. The campaign is here:

https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/poetry-for-all-2023-fundraiser

And if you have absolutely no funds to share with us at all, we’d be incredibly grateful if you shared on social media, with friends, on blogs, all of that!

Thanks for reading all this, and have a great day!

#fay speaks #image #image description #disability #disability awareness #accessibility #fundraiser #crowdfunder #poetry for all #I am going to be posting about this a LOT!#accessible events #accessibility matters #respresentation matters #fundraising

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xxlovelynovaxx · 7 days

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This is wrong (screenshot):

(screenshot of a tumblr post which reads: i saw another tme person being upset that people think trans women have it worse, and that every trans person has it just as bad. pls use ur brain. u gotta accept the fact that some people are more at risk than u are. and that means we have a huge responsibility towards protecting those who face more violence and marginalization. its truly not that difficult to think critically. all the evidence is there, anecdotally and otherwise, and i would be happy to provide it if asked with tags #transmisandry #pls try rubbing ur only two braincells together #tw transmisogyny)

The whole POINT is that transfems AREN'T "more at risk" than transmascs. The whole POINT is that transmascs (and abinary people, and outherine people, and so on) are equally at risk, but ERASURE of the violence and oppression that other groups face makes people THINK they are less at risk, and that that itself is a dangerous form of violence.

Trans people have a responsibility for solidarity and unity. No one has a responsibility to be meat shields for whoever has (often unwillingly!) been given the "oppression olympics trophy" by people who neither understand oppression nor history. We know the latter is what you mean.

If it's not that difficult to think critically, then why aren't you doing it at all? Neither about trans oppression, nor about the ableism in your tags, nor about the fact that you are neither protecting transfems nor even being transfeminist when you tell other trans people "sit down, shut up, stop whining about how you also face oppression".

"Happy to provide the evidence if asked" if you need to say you have evidence, quite frankly, you should be providing said alleged evidence already. Admittedly, I have been guilty of similar on other subjects in the past, but "I HAVE evidence but I won't give it unless you argue with me"... at minimum, it's manipulative with the goal of engagement, and likely it's also bluster covering up shoddy reasoning and utter lack of statistical support for their claim.

Anyway, stay the fuck out of the transmisandry tag.

#transmisandry

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mywingsareonwheels · 1 month

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I've started to immediately block "and everyone clapped" commenters on posts. They somehow manage to be both the most unnecessary cynical *and* the most embarrassingly naive people on tumblr, and so fricking infuriating.

I mean... do they not know about life? Do they not know how weird and rich and singular a day can be?

When I was about a year old, I almost certainly got mentioned on a science programme on the radio (as an anonymous baby who'd been witnessed being totally unconcerned by a species of insect on a specific beach in western Scotland). My jazz upright bass playing was once complimented by one of the drummers for Animal (as in the Muppet) (and then I got too ill to practice... *sighs*). One of my ancestors was the Italian-born daughter of a Spanish mercenary during the Napoleonic Wars who shockingly married a roper from north-east England and went back to North Shields with him and their baby (and oh goodness does there need to be a novel about them ;-) ). I've had a hug from Jacqueline King to wish me luck when I was playing a principal boy in an amateur panto.

Those are four random facts about me, some impressive, some not really. I'm not particularly unusual! Life is just like that sometimes.

I'm not saying believe everything you read on the internet, but honestly personal history anecdotes in my experience tend to be a lot more reliable than some other things.

Also this: if you do "and then everyone clapped" about somebody's account of experiencing marginalisation or oppression you are being a shithead. Even if you are genuinely of the opinion that the person posting might not be telling the truth, you are entirely likely to be wrong, and the consequences if you get it wrong are bigger than if you leave well alone. One thing I haven't mentioned above is the times I've experienced ableism or biphobia or transphobia or neurosupremacy, and you know why? Because I honestly don't care if anyone on here thinks I'm lying about any of those facts above. I mean, I'll still block anyone who disbelieves me, on principle, because fuck that shit. But it's not exactly important.

Being disbelieved (especially openly disbelieved for lols) about the important stuff though? Oh man that's horrible. And nobody needs that.

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abyssbirds · 10 months

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The fact that most of the tags under n24 have nothing to do with the disorder and that there's only a handful of posts under every single tag for it sure FEELS like ableism even though it might not be. But I have the time to talk about it so I might as well spread visibility.

(Info under read more)

N24, Non-24, or Non-24 Sleep-Wake Disorder, is a circadian rhythm disorder where your body doesn't run on a (roughly) 24-hour cycle like most people/people without the disorder itself. For example, my days run roughly 18-19 hours instead of a typical 16. My sleep gets later and later and later. I've tried melatonin, tried resetting my sleep schedule by staying up for >24 hours until a "normal" time for bed, and tried keeping ambient noise on like music or nature sounds. I've tried blue light filters. My days are just 26-27 hours instead of a normal 24, though every person with N24 is different.

It's primarily diagnosed in Blind patients, since the cause among Blind people with the disorder seems to be that not being able to see the transition from day to night makes their bodies not produce the proper sleep hormones at the right time.

Among sighted people, the cause seems to be unknown (last time I checked; just one person with the disorder should not be your only source of information!) and, since N24 among sighted people is more rare and less lucrative, it's an orphan disorder. There's not much research into how to help us sighted people with N24 because treatment is often pricey or not an actual solution, or it is aimed directly towards helping Blind people with N24.

As far as I know, there's apparently an implantable device in development. The main suggestions I see are training via sun lamps and melatonin or just trying to get on sleeping pills by lying about insomnia. There is a pill that can be taken, but if you live in the US, it is extremely expensive. So, essentially, this orphan disorder is overlooked and misdiagnosed, and those of us with it have to hope that one of the coin-toss methods of treating N24 works.

N24, even on its own, can be a very disabling disorder. You're either too-sleep deprived to do the things during the day you need to or are busy being asleep because the human body needs rest at some point. Socialization gets very difficult when your circadian rhythm is nocturnal for a couple of weeks. It's an isolating experience. It also makes it harder for people to work and make themselves money. I don't even know if N24 is something that can apply to an application for disability, though given it's not well-known, I doubt it is.

I'm not used to making informative posts like this, so I don't know how to end it, but please do some research into N24 on your own time--I am by no means a medical professional and my anecdotal explanation may contain errors. I just want people to know we exist.

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tymbalzine · 6 months

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A Really Really Long Shang Tsung Tangent

HIIIIIIIIIII ~ <3

I've mentioned it on another post but I feel like getting it out there with more explanation. This is my first sort of think piece or character analysis I'm posting publicly so bear with me lol.

The TLDR is there are villains, there are people who are bad, and there are people that could do better but have a lot of trouble doing so. Not all of them are disordered or have something afflicting their decision making. But Shang Tsung, in my mind and given all the factors, is a villain with ASPD/Anti-social personality disorder.

While ASPD can contribute to what is medically considered 'psychopathy' and 'sociopathy', and from my anecdotal experience those who experience ASPD do not shy from the words, I personally will only be referring to the disorder itself.

I also got a comment about how much of this is him being disordered and how much of is a choice. I want to make it absolutely clear, while my theory of his tendencies stand, all his actions in the game are his choices nonetheless.

I still clown on him for not being able to just grin and bear the cards dealt to him and/or make a friend because... yeah he really just should have. This ramble is me acknowledging that many villains don't fit the description of ASPD, but he's one that definitely is rife with enabled anti-social behavior.

I think a lot about the second chance Liu Kang gave him. The parallels they gave Shang Tsung and Raiden are evident. People born in small pockets of their world, unassuming and uneventful until someone of great power (titans, no less) approach them with a task.

The difference is how they handle it. What is there to handle? Well... a lot, if you have as severe problems with empathy and collaborating with the rules of society as Shang Tsung does. His pre-game biography lists him as 'too lazy for labor' and 'too shifty for honest work', but he can work hard for the right promises as is evident in the game.

Gritting his teeth and doing the work handed to him would have been easier. While Outworld has its issues (prominently, the remnants of the royal's imperialist stand-offs and the ableism that looms in various Outworld characters' narratives), the general wellbeing of the working class doesn't seem to be one of them. But as a huckster, he's isolated, consistently having to rely on his lies, and receiving the consequences.

To be honest, I don't think Shang Tsung didn't try. I can believe it not working out very fast, but I don't think he simply ignored that standard work is out there. He can be arrogant and bratty, but he doesn't dilute his options.

Symptoms of ASPD such as lack of empathy, ignorance to the result of his actions, and disinterest in performing standard work/social obligations are already evident, and would impede on his life whether he is a powerful sorcerer or a nobody. These impact any friendships he could have, his impulse control, and how he regards anyone up to and including himself (who he deems untrustworthy).

But we are social people that want to feel, want to be happy. Anti-social behavior isn't extreme introversion, in fact many people with ASPD are very extraverted and social. It's less about being around people and more about the reactions they're capable of while with said people.

Not all villains have a disorder, obviously. Some have motivations deemed reasonable, and some are just delightfully evil. Shang Tsung starts off very disordered and not entirely villainous, though hardly good. He was someone who couldn't do what people around him thought was so straightforward.

He's in distress over his life as a scammer, but not really how it impacts others. He's unable to connect to them and has a sense of grandeur over them, but honestly most people are doing better than he can. People, to him, are inherently isolating and alienating. He's aware this isn't normal, and can only answer to it with apathy and more lies.

Most people with ASPD don't go in for that diagnosis. They do so because of comorbidities: mood disorders like depression and bi-polar, anxiety disorders such as OCD, and other personality disorders such as BPD. I do think this would have been the case for Shang Tsung as well, if Outworld was a sort of place that would pick these things out about him, but it isn't.

Damashi's approach is so glaring to me as a result. I can make all the wet cat jokes in the world, but it is sad to me that he cannot process the consequences of his actions, only that he is forced to feel them. He expects so badly out of others that he doesn't bother giving them anything good or better from him, which gets him punished, and the cycle starts all over. That's what he figures the woman is about to do.

And that woman could have been anyone. That's already the lesson there, as she is Titan Shang Tsung in disguise. He was given the right words by someone equally manipulative and was just as vulnerable to tricks, lies, and abuse as anyone else would be in his position.

You gotta remember, if she was there just to pummel him into a pulp, he was about to let her.

His decision to follow her is one of desperation and likely depression. Depression manifests differently to those who find themselves alienated, and do not understand people's sympathy and overt emotional responses.

From my anecdotal research, there's a set of words that come up a lot that doesn't show up on many articles or bullet points about ASPD. Numbness and boredom. It's not a normal boredom where you can occupy yourself with an activity or friends. It is a complete lapse of emotional connection and stimulation. If you aren't angry, you are bored. If you aren't bored, you are numb.

Which moves us into the topic of: sensation chasing.

"Damashi" teaches him real sorcery, and what ensues is his development into the conniving and cruel Shang Tsung we know and dread. A true testament to Shang Tsung's wit and manipulative tendencies, along with this new position dissolving his impulse control. Now that he isn't held down by a lack of magic, he treats people like objects toward his greater goals with even less regard than he had in the first place.

Good L-rd you are short.

People are the subject of his curiosity and how he chases off his boredom susceptibility. "Damashi" has a plan set in stone, but Shang Tsung's horrific laboratory is unrelated to "her" demands. The lab isn't just dedicated to his own research, but his sense of morbid novelty. He can already manipulate and use people - creating hybrids out of those already existing is a very "because I can" thing.

Syzoth is one of Shang Tsung's biggest victims of this. Shang Tsung exerts control of him first for his shapeshifting, but proceeds to keep him around and hang his family over his head... because he can. And because he can, he thinks it better to do so. But the more time he kept Syzoth in the cold, cruel, and dark, the more chances he was giving him to fight back or sabotage Shang Tsung - something that ends up happening.

Shang Tsung killed Syzoth's family very early into this. Perhaps even the day the Syzoth agreed to stay in the lab. What does he get out of hiding that? Perhaps it was a sort of inside joke, a chuckle he got with each and every visit. It wasn't for control, and it wasn't to get anything out of Syzoth besides a reaction. He gave himself something by doing it this way, no matter how cruel it was to Syzoth.

There's a lot of other examples obviously about how Shang Tsung treats the people around him, but I think that one's the most important to get out of the way. This post's long enough already.

More evidence of Shang Tsung having ASPD is his primary motive: revenge against Liu Kang. Shang Tsung doesn't dare question why he couldn't fit into a normal life, he only applies new faces to the life he detested and blames them for his problems. Taking responsibility and accountability would mean processing his social faults and how to improve them... something he absolutely refused to do.

When Shang Tsung is faced with "Damashi"'s true identity, he's more angry about being manipulated and outsmarted than any of the plans falling through. He's told, to his face, he isn't the best or smartest. He was a tool, running errands while being conspired against. Instead of registering that and empathizing with the people he used before this reveal, it fuels his internalized cruelty.

When he collaborates with Liu Kang's crew, he clearly tries to suck up to Kuai Liang and even Raiden. But these are people that run on empathy. Caring about people as a whole and having faith in them doesn't mesh with Shang Tsung's view that this whole world runs on fraudulent transactions. In that moment, he fits in with the people around him just as poorly as he did while running a travel cart.

Alan Lee, the voice actor of Shang Tsung, mentions that "Damashi" approached Shang Tsung with a cheat code to life so potent that it makes Shang Tsung determined to own up to his depravity. He describes him as a "madman with pandora's box, mixed with a child to the keys to candyland." He's unpredictable, not just by standard villainy, but because nothing else has appealed to him in life.

Now that Shang Tsung has burned nearly every bridge he had, he wants to own up to that. Because to him, the only other option is the quiet. Boredom. That numbness again. If he spent any longer in that travel cart, he may have frankly committed suicide out of the sheer droll.

He will lie, steal, and carve his way into and out of any problem as he was enabled to under Titan Shang Tsung, and in a way has initiated a new, sad reality of chasing that Titan's shadow.

#shang tsung #mortal kombat #mk1 #sorry. i am insane.#brief BRIIEF suicide mention #mine: writing

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tamamita · 1 year

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Have any guy celebrity that is like body goals or your type body wise? I honestly find myself looking to fitness influencers moreso than celebrities as having better bodies most of the time. And even though not by much since the influencers also have more time/money to workout and train efficiently(and likely also on gear like the celebrities) they also seem a little more relatable

I don't exactly look up to influencers or any popular bodybuilder ytber, because I'm not a big fan of their workout programs. Some of them are way too invested in their anecdotal journey, which doesn't apply to everyone, so they tend to make their experiences universal. There's also the tendency of fat shaming, ableism and glorifying European beauty standards, because "LEAN MUSCLE MASS MNGHHH GAAAHH FAT BAD", accompanied with the reek of testosterone-induced masculinity that bothers me to no end. Also, I hate their thumbnails, it's just so clickbaitish. It makes me wanna scroll past all of them LMAO.

It's funny, because I take most of my inspirations from Sig Curtis from Fullmetal Alchemist. Sometimes you just need a 2D crush to do the job for you, HAHA

Regardless, if there is one dude whose videos I enjoy watching, then that'd have to be Jeff Nippard. I find his scientific approach to be far better where he provides scientific data (which he backs up) to help determine the best way to promote muscle growth and muscle strength. Influencers/ytubers are far more interested in talking and sharing their experiences and workout routines rather than offering a scientific approach to workout.

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ladyluscinia · 5 months

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I'm trying to coherently express a bunch of connected fandom observations and the first draft is not working. Trying again.

People are not wrong when they observe that broadly individuals in fandom (especially newer fans) are getting increasingly prone to emotional prioritization (ex: feeling personally attacked when people criticize a character they identify with, or feeling personally betrayed by creators they've parasocialized when reality differs from their view) and also a general lack of boundaries with cast and crew (thanks twitter), and it's leading to bad outcomes - both from a "stifling healthy analytical engagement with the narrative" perspective and a "leading to bad behavior toward creators / other fans" perspective.

I also think that emotionally driven analysis attitudes like "I liked this therefore it was objectively good" are contributing to idolization-cancellation cycles, which is known, but also the resulting polarization (ex: "Since it's objectively good, the only explanation for the people who dislike it is they must wrongly think it's bad and probably harmful") + awareness of the first point might actually be creating the assumption of backlash that isn't there? Like - personal anecdote - despite being in the center of the canon-critical discussions post-OFMD S2 and historically having seen twitter receipts about the fandom's bad behavior, I have yet to see any post, screenshot, or even direct telling of an incident actually @-ing the creators other than circulating posts with effusive praise for the season (which sometimes have an attitude of trying to "drown out" the supposed harassment?). And yet people in both camps re: S2 are seemingly convinced creator harassment is a serious problem that is undoubtedly going on because fans are posting criticism in fandom spaces (some of which does accuse the show of ableism or homophobia due to everything being moralized nowdays - too many people think something needs to be problematic before they can criticize it - but again doesn't actually @ anybody).

And on top of that, both of these views of what is going on when someone posts angry criticism of X - either the concern for the health of their emotional investment in a story that's not being written specifically for them OR the assumption that there's an inherent malice and moral weight in disliking something where critics think the creators must be punished and the show canceled - ignore a pretty big elephant in the room that sometimes people are just venting. Sometimes the salty post about how maybe the main character should have been killed off is literally just sarcasm and bad feelings entirely proportional to watching a tv show and not actually a concerning lack of media literacy. Occasionally the op (myself included) probably is being kind of a dick because they are irritated but tbh it's not any bigger of a deal than that because lots of people are dicks sometimes.

There's a real, complex person behind all those posts, and - especially on tumblr - the fandom engagement / online persona that you see is not actually all of them? A post on their 95% fandom posting blog about eating a showrunner's heart in the marketplace doesn't actually prove that the most serious concerns of their day to day life are showrunner crimes or that they approve of the death penalty for bad writing.

Like in the midst of being concerned about troubling trends we should also maybe remember to watch out for various ways to assume the absolute worst of anyone who disagrees with us, because that in itself is a troubling trend that can easily make fandom worse?

#i'm also still blaming a lot of the 'i liked it therefore it was objectively good' troubling bullshit #on streaming services killing the fandom dialogue with an ongoing series in favor of near-permanent hiatus #it's so much harder for people to build up and maintain that kind of self-justification of flawlessness if they get new canon pushback #on a fucking weekly basis. i think it's really good for fans to be wrong about small unremarkable predictions all the time #vs 18 months of absolutely no reality checks on any idea you've ever had #fandom culture #my meta #ladyluscinia

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