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jomarch-wannabe · 11 months

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Sold (Tommy Shelby x Fem!Reader)

Pairings: Tommy Shelby x Gold's daughter!Reader

Synopsis: The coin lands on tails

Warnings: Smut 🔞(implied age gap, dubcon/noncon, virginity loss, p in v sex, rough sex, cursing, praise kink, sir kink, choking, overstimulation) Angst (anxiety, crying, manipulation, blood loss)

Author's note: I thought of this on a whim one day and went with it. Definitely a darker portrayal of Tommy.. read at your own discretion.

CH. ONE CH. TWO

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“I’m gonna spin a coin for your yard Charlie.”

“You goin’ what?”

“If it’s heads, Abe here takes all this,” Tommy explained with an extended hand, “with my blessing.”

“Tommy!”

“And if it’s tails,” Tommy paused, flicking his eyes to Aberama's cocked brow. “I fuck your daughter Mr. Gold.”

His face fell stone cold at the proposition.

“What’ll it be?” Tommy asked with a smug expression, dragging a cigarette across his lips. “Heads or tails?”

“Heads.” Abbie spat, straightening his posture to assert dominance.

Tommy’s expression remained unchanged as he twirled the coin between his fingers before tossing it in the air, catching it on top of his hand.

His pale blue eyes glinted as he uncovered the coin, facing tails up. In an effort to contain his amusement his tongue poked the inside of his cheek as his eyes flicked up to Abe.

“A deal is a deal.” Abe coughed, adjusting the collar of his coat, clenching his jaw.

Tommy nodded in acknowledgement as his face cast aglow from the flame of his cigarette. Behind the orange glare you could faintly make out the edge of his lips tugging into a smirk.

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Expensive shoes crunched lightly against the gravel of Thomas Shelby’s driveway as you exited your lift. Your breath hitched in nervousness as the car rolled away behind you, disappearing into the darkness.

With a few hesitant steps you made contact with the door, knocking lightly against the wood. After a few moments a maid named Frances let you in, granting your chilled limbs a satisfying warmth in the lit up foyer.

Her hands fell open out of habit, prepared for your coat. The fabric fell off your shoulders with the shrug of your arms, exposing your skin.

She smiled warmly as she received it, turning from you to place it on a rack. With her back to you, you were granted the privacy to unhide your expression. The heaviness of shame dragged the corners of your mouth into a frown.

She turned to you, attentive with her posture and eyes. “Are you here to see Charlie? A sitter perhaps?” Her brows raised in a sort of put on friendliness.

You blinked, thumbing the beads hanging off your dress. “N-no,” you replied shyly, lifting your eyes to meet hers. “I’m here to see Thomas Shelby.”

Her warm expression melted at the realization, the falling of her lips communicated an unspoken sympathy.

You took in a breath, shaky with anticipation. “Might you direct me to his room?”

“Right, of course.” She shook her head in embarrassment, forcing a smile and guiding you with an extended arm.

As you followed behind her and up the stairs, your eyes flicked over the many paintings on the walls. A blonde woman caught your eye. She was beautiful; framed in a circle of moonlight pouring through a nearby window. Your neck craned, following her eyes, as they did you grew nauseous.

“It’s just down the hall there dear,” The maid directed with a pointed finger, dissolving your trance.

Your eyes scanned over the many doors, stopping at one furthest down the hall. An orange glow spread from under the door, illuminating a path on the embroidered carpet.

“Thank you.” You murmured, keeping your eyes down, and starting down the vacant hall.

She hummed as she departed, disappearing carefully down the stairs.

Hesitant steps carried you down the dark corridor. The shaking of your breath broke the stillness of the air as you grew closer to your fate. A throbbing commenced in your head as you stopped, hovering inches from the door.

Black shadows moved at your feet, indicating activity on the other side. Swallowing thickly, you raised your fist to hover against the wood. With a heavy breath you knocked lightly, 2 times. A stirring of bed sheets came through the door, making you freeze.

“Come in.” a masculine voice called out, increasing your heart rate.

With his instruction, you turned the knob, twisting it’s cool handle and pushing it open with a creak. Candlelight lit up his figure as you entered the room.

Your chest rose as your eyes flicked over his shirtless form, sprawled under white bed sheets with a drink in his outstretched arm. He was otherworldly. His taut chest was covered in ripples of muscle, decorated with a tattoo. His firm forearms twitched slightly as he thumbed the glass in his hand. Your posture stiffened as you closed the door behind you, not removing your eyes from him.

“So you’re Gold’s daughter eh?” He asked, although already knowing the answer. His eyes hungrily scanned your body as he awaited a response.

“Y-yes.” You subconsciously played with the hem of your dress as his piercing blue eyes drank you in.

“What’s your name?” The bed springs squeaked as he swung his legs over the side of the bed, reaching to sit his drink on the nightstand.

Your breath hitched at the quiet thud against the wood. “Y/n, sir.”

He was quiet for a moment, suppressing a groan at your pet name. “That’s a lovely name.”

Your eyes wandered to his shifting hips as he neared you, growing taller with every step. The thin white fabric of his boxers scarcely hid the print of his length.

“Y/n.” He repeated to himself, admiring you with parted lips. Your attention moved to him as your name dripped off his tongue. In closeness you could smell his cologne, almost taste it.

I’m curiosity he extended a finger out to brush your cheek, tracing your soft, youthful skin.

The contact made your face burn, unfamiliar with the feeling of a man’s touch.

He pulled away in surprise, studying you with furrowed brows.

His gaze was dominant, powerful, making you feel small and submissive in his presence. His proximity was arousing, close enough to feel his body heat warming yours.

“Are you a virgin?” His voice was low and gravely, making your stomach sink.

You couldn’t help your eyes from watering, both in embarrassment and fear. “Y-yes sir.”

“Fuck.” He groaned, clenching his jaw.

You shifted your weight on each foot, unsure if he was aroused or regretful.

“I’ve never taken a man Mr. Shelby.” With wide, innocent eyes you studied his face. His captivating crystal eyes, his prominent cheek bones, then down to his pink, plump lips, glistening with saliva as he pulled his bottom lip into his teeth.

You mimicked him subconsciously, growing in desire as you studied his masculine features.

His eyes met yours making you gasp softly.

Without warning he closed the gap between you, capturing your mouth in his.

The impact pushed you back slightly, if not for his hand on your back you would have stumbled over.

His breath fanned your cheek as his lips hungrily caressed yours, sucking at your mouth with his.

Your heart pounded with adrenaline, both in arousal and fear.

Your neck craned as you clumsily kissed him back, steadying yourself with your fingers against his shifting jaw.

He groaned at your touch, pulling away from you with a pop. Your eyes fluttered open at his retreat, finding his lust blown pupils, glistening in the amber light.

His hand slid up your back in eagerness, though not rushed, reaching for the top zipper. The feeling of his hands on your body send chills down your skin.

Your dress loosened as he pulled down, nearly exposing your chest if not for your hand catching the falling fabric.

“Wait..” your voice trembled, blinking in fear. His fingers loosened from the zipper at your protest.

“It’s just,” you breathed in, chewing your lip as to not grow upset, “I’m afraid.”

In amusement his mouth curled into a half smile, exposing his teeth, intrigued by your innocence.

Don’t worry love,” he leaned into your ear, muttering lowly with a gravely tone, “I’ve got the best cock in England.”

There wasn’t sarcastic tone in his voice, rather a seriousness, a confidence that rolled off his tongue. The thought made your stomach twist.

“Let me see you.”

You obliged, knowing it was a command and not a suggestion. Slowly, your hand lifted from your chest, allowing the gown the fall down your body.

It hit the floor with a soft thud, exposing your youthful figure. A chill raised on your skin at your bareness, causing you to shiver slightly.

He pulled back from your ear, taking time to admire you. His mouth fell agape as he took you in. Your slender shoulders, narrow hips, and pink nipples, erect in the cool air.

“Christ.”

Instinctually you covered yourself, hiding your breasts and core with trembling hands.

Your couldn’t face him, instead finding your gaze on the floor, watching your feet shift against the velvety carpet.

He shook his head, stepping towards you, bumping into your arms with his abdomen.

Your head tilted at the new angle, finding him looking down at you past his nose. “Don’t hide from me love.”

Your skin warmed as his large hands grasped your wrists, making your heart pound as he easily pulled them from your body.

“I need to fuck that little cunt.” He breathed to himself, exploring his hands up your skin, leaving goosebumps in their place.

Anticipating his cock inside of you made your stomach twist in knots.

His hands stopped at your shoulders, making you stumble backwards as he maneuvered you to the bed. The wood frame met your heels as you met the edge.

“Lay back love,” the force of his hands gently pushed you backwards, lowering you onto the mattress.

You sucked in a breath as the soft comforter swallowed your small frame, leaving you sprawled open. His eyes flicked over you with a predatory gaze, clenching his jaw in arousal as he scanned your body, ready to receive him. Your hair spread underneath you, rippling in soft waves across his sheets.

He worked his boxers down with his thumb, causing your chest to rise as he shuffled the fabric down his thighs.

A patch of dark hair exposed itself at the movement, before finally revealing his half hard cock, bobbing towards his toned abdomen.

Your lips parted in intrigue as he fisted himself a few times, growing hard as his thick fingers stimulated his reddened head.

He let out a withheld breath, dipping the mattress with his weight as he crawled on top of you, trapping you in with his outstretched arms.

Your heart was pounding at a dizzying pace as he closed the space between you. His body heat evaporated his scent, cool with lingering cigarette smoke and whiskey. You breathed him in, foreign to the musk of a man.

“I’ll take good care of you love,” he reassured, pulling your attention to him with a hand in your hair. “don’t worry..” he spoke against your lips, pulling you in for a long kiss.

Your eyes fell closed at the contact. His breath fanned your cheek as he tasted you, groaning lowly as he worked his soft lips against yours.

Imagining his skill made your thighs clench, knowing the amount of women he has been with.

Your squirming under him caught his attention, causing him to break the kiss, hovering inches from your face.

“Are you ready?” He asked, scanning over your face with an eagerness in his turquoise blue eyes.

“I have to be.” You mumbled in an uncertain tone, chewing the inside of your cheek.

He let out a heavy breath as he diverted his eyes from you, reaching for his length. You watched him attentively as he grasped himself, lining up with your open legs.

His other hand pinned down your thighs, making you stuck in a breath as he spread your soft flesh with his firm fingers.

With knit brows he pushed himself into your entrance, making you both gasp.

You fisted the sheets at the unfamiliar pressure, growing in intensity.

“Fuck…” He groaned as he worked into you, stretching out your tight walls with his thick cock.

You whimpered in pain as he buried himself inside of you, not stopping until his thighs touched yours.

He pulled out slightly, making your breath hitch as your insides burned.

The sheets wrestled as he changed positions, resting on his elbows to close the gap between you. His length bumped further into you, making you clench around him.

“Mr. Shelby.. I- I can’t..” you whimpered, writhing under him, looking to ease the feeling of fullness.

“Shh..” he soothed, hovering against your ear “It’ll feel good love, I promise.” His lips met your cheek softly, making you let out a breath.

With a concentration in his brow he pulled out slowly, making you gasp, empty and clenching around nothing.

His thick traps impeded your view, only giving you access to his shifting jaw and taut chest pressing into yours.

He plunged into you again with the bucking of hips, quicker this time, forcing himself inside of you.

You squeaked at the movement, feeling a pressure in your walls as he claimed you.

He began a steady rhythm, chasing pleasure with shaky breaths as he rocked in and out of you at a quick pace.

Your eyes squint shut as he stimulated you, sheathing you with his cock. The hair of his thighs tickled yours as he pounded in and out of you, rocking the bed.

He groaned lowly as you squeezed him, and began to pick up his intensity, harshly colliding with your body.

“Oh fuck..” he groaned with knit brows, fucking you hard. “Good girl, squeeze me like that.”

His praise withdrew a whimper from your throat, encouraging you to slide your hands over his back. Your fingers explored the muscles of his shoulders, shifting with his movements.

The continuous intrusion of his length nudged a spot inside of you, making your toes curl.

“Mr. Shelby..” you whined, holding onto his shifting shoulders for leverage. His body was warm and tough with muscle.

Your sounds encouraged him, and he rutted into you harder, repeatedly hitting that spot inside of you, sending bursts of pleasure down your legs.

Your nails dug into his flesh subconsciously, kneading his skin damp with sweat. He groaned, aroused by the pain of your nails in his flesh.

His breathing labored as he fucked you, fanning your face as his forehead fell against yours. You were spilling in arousal, squelching with his every movement.

Rapid breaths escaped your parted lips. Chasing the feeling, you arched your back, bumping into his chest. His sweat covered skin rubbed against yours as he fucked you.

“Are you close?”

Numb with pleasure your head nodded, unable to form words.

“Good girl..” he praised breathlessly, “good girl..” He rocked into you forcefully, moving your body back and forth on the mattress.

“I’m gonna-“ you paused, stunned by a wave of pleasure from his calculated thrusts, “Mr. Shelby..” your whimpered, helpless as your muscles tensed underneath him.

“Come for me sweetheart,” he panted, burying his head in your neck, “come for me.” His deep gravely voice pulled you over the edge.

“Oh fuck!” You yelped, convulsing as waves of pleasure wrecked through your body.

Your eyes squeezed shut in euphoria, mouthing incoherent words as he fucked you through your high, murmuring against your skin.

He moaned deeply as your spasming walls squeezed his length, making his pace waver for a moment.

“Fuck..” you moaned, wrestling the sheets with your squirming.

He didn’t stop, relentlessly fucking your overstimulated entrance with his thick length.

“Mr. Shelby.. it’s too much..” your nails dug into his back in pain.

“I’m almost there love,” he panted, red in the face as he neared his high.

His length continued to pry into you, deeper and harder as his desperation grew.

You squirmed instinctively, pulling yourself away from his cock.

He intercepted your resistance with a firm hand sliding up your throat. His grasp caught the breath in your lungs, making your eyes water.

“Fuck.. stay put love..” he groaned lowly, nudging his nose against your neck as he rutted in and out of you.

Your eyelids drooped at the pressure, lazily following the shifting muscles in his back.

“Ahhh..” he groaned deeply, flexing his core against yours. “Oh fuck…”

He came undone at last, emptying himself into you with a loud groan. “Christ..” he cursed with an open mouth, bucking his hips against yours as his warm seed filled you up.

His grasp tightened slightly as he tensed, unleashing a tear down your cheek and onto his hand.

His pace slowed to shallow rocking, as he came down from his high. Once satisfied, he pulled out with a slick wet noise, making your thighs shake.

His hand released from your throat as he caught his breath, lifting his head from yours to hover above you. His forehand fell against yours in exhaustion, leaving a bead of sweat on your face.

Without saying a word he leaned in, kissing your damp skin, removing the wetness with his lips.

You clenched your jaw, trying best to keep your emotions as bay as you turned your head from him, softly sniffling.

He pulled away from you, rolling to his back with a satisfied sigh as he reached for a cigarette on the nightstand.

While he was occupied you sat up slightly, pulling the covers over your exposed limbs.

As you did so your eyes caught a glimpse of red on the sheets. They wandered to your open thighs, widening at the sight of smeared blood.

You held a hand to you face, blinking in shock and turning to Tommy, “There’s blood!”

Your hand on his forearm turned his attention to you. “It’s okay love,” he took a drag of his cigarette, inhaling a fair amount of smoke, “It’s normal.” His free hand reached for yours, smoothing over your knuckles with his thumb as he let out a puff of smoke through pursed lips.

His touch unleashed a flood of tears from your eyes, which you quickly covered with your hand as they trickled down your face.

You sucked in short breaths, crying against your hand as your body shook.

“Eh, what’s the matter?” He asked softly, reaching for you.

You shook your head, refusing to speak the truth, instead letting it out in the form of tears, forming dark circles on his sheets.

“Talk to me love,” His voice held a tone of sincerity as he kept his eyes to your frame. “Please.”

You took in a shaky breath, swiping your face before letting down your hand. “I’m just a body to you.”

Your gaze was emotionless, frozen on the yellow wallpaper in front of you, dancing over each flower design.

With enough courage you turned your head to face him, pulling your watery eyes to his. “I don’t want to just be a body Thomas.”

The sound of his name on your lips made him freeze. It was vulnerable. Desperate. His cold expression fell, replacing with one of sympathy and warmth in the flicking of his eyes.

“You’re not.” He shook his head, putting his cigarette down and smoothing his other hand over your arm. You leaned into his touch, sucking in a shaky breath through your mouth and rolling onto his chest.

“You’re not just a body to me love.” He spoke against your hair, smoothing over your back with firm strokes.

You nestled against his chest, focusing on the sounds of his shallow breathing against your ear, slowing your tears.

“I’ll make you more than that.”

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pacifymebby · 7 months

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Blackberries / Aberama Gold

Warnings: age gap relationship, also I don't know what Im doing with this one.

The bracken shivered as you moved through it, feet crunching through the undergrowth, the bramble snagging your shirt, caring not for the faint beaded scratches they left on your irritated skin.

The mist was beginning to disperse but it was thick enough still that it left fine glistening sheen on your lips and cheeks, water vapour catching your eyelashes as you crossed the heathlands.

"You're too early m'pretty, the brambles are bare as the day y'were born," Aberama had said to you that morning when you'd stopped to stare longingly out the window of a bedsit in shit stinking Birmingham. You were pining for the forest, for the autumn season you could feel just around the corner and when Aberama had held your cheeks between his two hands and looked down at you, he'd seen how desperate you were to be out of the city. How much you wanted to be back among the trees and the fields foraging for the seasons bounty.

"Another week sweet girl that's all you've to wait..." He'd said stroking your soft skin with his thumbs as he pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose, "just another week..." but he'd seen that far away sorrow in your eyes, he had recognised that yearning which lingered despite the comforts he tried to offer you - it was his yearning too - yearning to feel the earth beneath your body, to lie down with your head resting against good, natural ground. So when you hovered there in his lap, your cheek held by his hand, your skin blessed by his fingers, he couldn't deny you a day amid the bramble, the bracken and the trees.

He had been right, the brambles were still bare, the summer had been warmer than usual and the berries which you were sure had been out this time last year, were all still hidden away. The few you found were green.

"They're too young," said Aberama standing over you, his hand on your shoulder as you crouched down looking into the bushes, your palm hovering beneath the berries you knew not to bother picking. "Just like you.." he was smiling when he said it, an old joke played over to lure you back to him, but instead of a smile his words only drew a frown from you.

"Too young for what Mr Gold?" You asked standing up, turning to face him with folded stubborn arms, a girlish frown he couldn't help but adore. He brought his fingers to your cheek so that you had to concentrate to ignore the way his caress warmed you, shivered you at the same time. All the little sparks his skin on your skin ignited in you.

"Me," he said with a fond smile, "you're still but a girl y/n m'dear and look at me, this is the autumn of my life," he said gesturing around at the reddish scene, the browning leaves, the orange hue of the heath and the forest you'd walked through to get to the brambles. "Shouldn't be me traipsing through the heaths with ye, should be Bonnie..."

Your frown etched deeper as you held his gaze. It was true you were much younger than him, as young as Bonnie and though some may have been inclined to gossip about that, you never really paid it much thought. You'd never been interested in his son like that, you'd only ever had eyes for one of the Gold men.

"I'm eighteen now, I'm not a girl."

And in truth you hadn't felt like a child for a long time.

Your mother had died when you were very young, leaving only you, your father and a baby brother. You'd spent your childhood playing mother and lost your youth entirely when your father had been killed working for the Peaky Blinders. Your fathers best friend, Aberama had felt it his duty to take you in, to care for you and offer you a sanctuary in a world that hadn't been so kind to you. It hadn't only been duty at play however and the longer you'd spent in his company the harder he had found it to ignore the way you made him feel.

You were the prettiest girl he'd seen since Bonnie's mother, a good, sweet and earthy girl. A kind heart, a nurturing soul. Just enough wilderness behind your eyes, just enough shadow to promise an autumnal, plum like sweetness when bitten into. His temptation however wasn't drawn out by your naivety or your youth, his temptation was drawn out by the way you looked at him. With longing, with dependence, with love. With a desire he was almost certain must have been misplaced. And yet every day you kissed him, every day you threw your arms around his waist, buried your face in his chest and clung to him the way a girl only does when she is in love. Every day you asked him the same question.

Aberama sighed, that stubborn frown was something he'd always been impressed by until he'd wound up on its receiving end. A place he was finding himself more and more often.

"A week over eighteen," he reminded you, "your birthday was only a week ago m'darlin,"

"Eighteen is eighteen, a week over or month over what difference does it make?" You asked feeling your temper tugging at your patience. Knowing that some of this frustration which was threatening little pin prick tears to your eyes, was only caused by your having been wrong about the blackberries, your having been kept away from the wild for too long.

You held yourself tight in your arms, looking up at Aberama with blind determination, but he was right. He was much older than you, that meant he was much wiser to human nature, meant he could read you much better than you realised.

So he smiled softly and shook his head.

"The difference m'pretty is that in a couple of months time you might meet someone much younger than me, a good lad that'll be around for you much longer than I will... and when you do you'll wish you'd waited insteada tying yourself to a tired old man..."

If you'd been a little older you might have seen the sense in what he said, but as it was you just shook your head. You didn't want to think about the future, you wanted to think about now. The present and the man who'd been there for you, the man who cared about you, who had shown you such gentleness, such tenderness. The man you were sure in your heart, was the only man for you. Old or not.

"You're not tired." You said looking up at him, a small smirk tugging at your lips, "you're not tired and you're not old and even if ten or a hundred pretty young lads come marchin into camp one day ready to sweep me off me feet, they never will!" You said back a little too quickly, a little too sharply. He'd upset you but he couldn't help the soft chuckle which escaped him as he listened to your rather bold proclamation.

"Oh won't they?" He asked.

"No," you said stepping into his embrace when he opened his arms and told you to come to him.

"Not a single one of them?" He was teasing you now, it was cruel of him to tease you like that when your cheeks were flushed with your frustration and your scorn. You hated that he thought he could tell you what you did and didn't or would and wouldn't want. You'd been making your own decisions for most of your life and you were certain he couldn't possibly know your heart better than you.

"No," you said, "not a single one of them," you said determined not to cry, determined not to shed a single tear because if you did you'd only confirm the older man's concerns. That you were still a girl, still too young. You weren't.

Aberama looked down at you, brought one of his hands up to hold your cheek. Looked down at your big watery eyes and smiled slight and soft. When he brushed his thumb over your cheek bone he caught a salty tear but for your sake he pretended not to feel the damp stain of sorrow. He could read you like a book, he could see how much you wanted him, how desperate you were to win this argument which had been going on all week.

He'd made a stupid promise to you you see. On your eighteenth birthday having made you wait for so long, (a matter of months which had felt like forever to you) he'd kissed you. He'd taken your face between his palms and held your gaze, his nose had knocked against your nose as your eyes had closed and he'd taken a moment to breath in your dewy musk. His lips had met yours and he'd felt you change beneath his touch, he'd felt you relax into his embrace, melt beneath him suddenly pliable and full of need for him. You'd looked so bright when he'd pulled away, your eyes so full of contentment.

Now that silly promise he had made to you had been to marry you. You'd told him you never wanted to leave his side, told him you wanted to stay like that with him forever - held by him, his forehead resting against yours, his lips brushing over yours - and he'd obliged. He'd said "I'll marry you then sweet girl, then we'll never be parted..."

You'd lit up, glowing with happiness as you'd gazed back up at him full of awe but the moment the words had left his lips been gripped by a fierce doubt. Once which had clouded over and left him a little gloomy ever since.

You were only eighteen, you were still so young. Perhaps you only loved him like this now because he'd taken your fathers place when you'd needed someone to show you care. Perhaps you were confused.

But you hadn't looked confused then and you didn't look confused now.

You looked certain and just then you looked mired with sorrow.

"Why would you tell me you would if you felt like this?" Your voice suddenly shook and despite your lips beneath his thumb, despite his hold still warming you, he felt suddenly as though you'd slipped. As though he'd dropped you and was watching you tumble away.

"Trust me m'girl the way I feel about you will never change..." he began but suddenly you were certain he was going to let you down. Suddenly you felt the peace ripped from your chest by a sinking disappointment. He was letting you down for the first time and it hurt too much. You didn't want to look at him. Didn't want to feel his hands on your cheeks, didn't want his sorry eyes looking down into your sorry eyes.

So you tore away from him, running without looking back. The bracken snapped beneath your boots, the brambles caught and tugged on your skirts but you ignored everything that reached out to you or tried to call you back. You couldn't stand waiting around for your heart to be broken by the only man you had left in the world to trust.

"Y/N!" You heard his voice carry after you across the heathland, heard him too tearing through the wild grass and the brambles, but you didn't look back.

You were crying now and you felt like a child so you had to keep running. Couldn't let him catch up to you and see you for what you were. Couldn't confirm all of those doubts he'd been harbouring. Even if it wouldn't make a difference.

You knew now that he'd never really meant those wonderful things he'd said to you on the night of your birthday. That he'd never really wanted or intended for your affections towards each other to grow beyond a timid kiss by the fire when everyone else had gone to bed.

You ran until your tears were too thick, until you couldn't see the floor beneath your feet or the ground ahead of you for the rivers streaming fron your eyes. You stumbled to a stop beneath a hawthorn tree and tugged your sleeve down over your fist impatiently. You weren't gentle when you tried to dry your eyes and as you stood there beneath the shade in that hazy afternoon, you realised that you'd not been running as fast as you would have liked.

He was out of breath when he reached you, too much out of breath to speak. When he stopped he bent over, hands flat to his thighs, looking up at you as he tried to calm his heavy breathing, tried to catch his breath at all.

You turned away you couldn't bare to let him see you like that with red rimmed eyes and a childish scorn staining your face, but he'd already seen the damage he'd done. He already knew how you were hurting.

"Y/N m'girl forgive me, I didn't mean for you to..."

"You don't love me Aber, just say it!" You snapped shocking yourself with the anger in your voice, your cheeks flushing red when he shot back just as quickly, his voice raised, his eyes full of a fleeting frustration.

"I won't!" He cried back, his voice loud enough to disturb the birds in the trees, to ricochet back to him and stun him. Leave him feel guilty when he saw your flushed cheeks begin to pale, those stubborn earthy eyes flicker with uncertainty. "I won't," he said softer, much softer. He'd never raised his voice at you before and he was already making vows never to raise his voice to you again.

You'd flinched when he'd shouted and you were watching him warily now, a little like a fox weighing up the risk of approaching a tender man's offering.

"I won't," he said gently as he stood up straight and approached cautiously, as though he'd recognised a delicate creature not a girl.

He took your hand in his, looking down into your eyes, watching the sorry curve of your lips. You were wounded, he'd hurt you. He couldn't stand himself for that. Perhaps you loved him as dearly as he did you after all. Perhaps he'd been stupid before. Perhaps after all his fretting it was he who was naive and not you.

He took your hand in his and laced his fingers between yours bought them up to his lips and kissed then one by one. All the while his eyes remained locked with yours, trying to read your mind. Trying to read the tremble of your bottom lip.

"I won't say that," he said again as he held your palm to his lips and whispered into the heart of your hand.

You looked up at him with wide wounded eyes, hesitant to fall for him again, to fall for this. These gently tender gestures, the way he held you so carefully and yet so certainly all at once.

"You don't want me..." you whispered, trying to tear your disappointed gaze from his but when you looked away he took your cheek in his palm and brought your gaze back up to his. The movement so subtle, so gentle. You could feel your breath meeting his hand and warming your cheek. You could hear your heart the way you hear the sea in a conch held to your ear.

"That isn't true," he said softly, "that isn't true," he spoke again softer still into your ear, placing a kiss to your hairline, his hand still cupping your cheek. Your eyes fluttered shut. You heard your heart beating in your ear the way the wind shivers through the trees.

"Then keep your promise," you said, your voice shallow but certain, shaking but stubborn. You were determined you wouldn't back down.

"Wait a..." he started but you cut him off, no, tried to tear yourself away again but he caught your hand and held tight, tugged you back towards him, this look in his eyes reeling you back in.

"After the fair, one week m'pretty, that's all I ask..."

"Why?" You frowned, his thumb tracing slowly over the plump ridge of your pout. How could he look down at you like that, with such tender care in his eyes, and deny you the one thing you would ask of him.

"So that you can see everything I can't offer and decide to turn it down yourself..." he said, "you're young y/n, you've your whole life ahead of you and most of mines already behind me... you've lost enough of your youth and I won't take the last of it without letting you make the choice for yourself..."

"I already know what I want.." you tried once more, looking up at him desperately, wishing he could believe you, knowing that he wouldn't. Not unless you gave in now and tried your best to be patient.

"It's only one week m'pretty that's all you've to wait... then I'll keep my promise, if it's still what you want."

You kissed his thumb where it brushed over your lips, your eyes shadowed with determination, an unforgiving darkness glowering back at him, a darkness which glowed with love all the same.

"It will be."

A/N I feel like this could have a part two? If you'd like a part two let me know?

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