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daydreamerdrew · 9 months

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Comics read this past week:

Marvel Comics:

The Incredible Hulk (1968) #256-257

Within the main The Incredible Hulk book I went from November 1980 to December 1980, according to the Marvel Wiki. These issues were both written by Bill Mantlo and drawn by Sal Buscema.

In issue #256 congress decides to defund Gamma Base, even though they don’t dispute that the Hulk is a menace, because too much money has been spent with no results in either capturing or curing the Hulk. Colonel Talbot’s mindset during this, however, is that “these people do not believe- as he does- that the Hulk must be destroyed.” Rick Jones’ reaction is to wonder, “Does this mean they’re gonna stop hunting the Hulk?”

In issue #257, as Gamma Base is being dismantled, Colonel Talbot goes rogue with a giant robot called the war-wagon, the secret construction of which is apparently the real reason why he couldn’t account for all of Gamma Base’s funds, to try and kill the Hulk. Also, at the end of the issue Rick Jones goes to Avengers Mansion to ask the Avengers to help him find the Hulk with the motivation that, “I owed him my life- swore I’d never leave him! But I did, after he left the Avengers and became more savage than ever! That was my excuse, wasn’t it?”

Black Widow (1999) #1-3

These issues were published across April 1999 to June 1999, according to the Marvel Wiki. All were written by Devin Grayson and drawn by J. G. Jones.

I was interested in getting into Black Widow comics and this looked like a good place to start because it was her very first solo starring series even though she first appeared back in the 60s. I’ve actually already read her very first appearances because she started out as an Iron Man villain and I believe after that she primarily appeared in Avengers and Daredevil comics but I haven’t been interested in reading Avengers or Daredevil comics.

This book was apparently where the existence of the Red Room was first established, though the particulars of it weren’t gotten into in much depth. This is also where Natasha meets the character Yelena Belova for the first time. Yelena tracks down Natasha while she’s on a mission and tells her that she has surpassed Natasha’s grades in the Red Room and as such is now the Black Widow. There’s fighting, there’s evading. Natasha gives Yelena a speech about how she doesn’t want to be her, shouldn’t want “to play pawn to any one of a dozen governments that will shoot you in the back just for becoming the dispassionate creature they require,” about the isolation and friends killed and birthdays ignored, and then is seemingly shot in the back and killed by S.H.I.EL.D. agents. Yelena wishes Natasha a happy birthday (she’d known about it from going through Natasha’s mail) then callously kicks her body into a lake and tries to resume the mission Natasha had been on, though to the ultimate end of supporting Russia’s interests instead of the United States’. Yelena gets captured but is believed to be the real Black Widow and so makes things easier for Natasha because she’s not expected. Natasha then reveals to Yelena that she faked her own assassination for Yelena’s benefit, that, “I knew that your ambition would allow you to believe that you had survived me, and that you were meant to continue on in my place.” And she gives her the warning: “Do not bring your passion to work, Yelena. It is only a detriment.” But Natasha also says, “You will not kill me today. […] Because you look forward to coming after me again. The game is your passion. And that is what makes you unique.” And she ends the story on the note that, “A spy is very difficult to stop- once she has found what makes her unique.”

Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes (2005) #6-8

These issues were published across January 2005 to February 2005, according to the Marvel Wiki. All were written by Joe Casey and drawn by Scott Kolins.

For the first 5 issues of this series I commented on how it did a good job of filling in unseen moments inbetween the scenes of early issues of The Avengers (1963) without resorting to rewriting events and at the same time managing to carry its own strong narrative, which I liked, and also that I thought it would likely be a bit difficult to follow if you hadn’t read those early issues because this book doesn’t take the time to explain everything that happened in them, which I thought was the correct approach. These issues did do a bit more of depicting and so rewriting of events from early issues, but I think that that was for the best at this point as these issues dealt with the transition to a new team line-up from the original one and the way that that happened in the early issues is that Captain America and Thor happened to be away while the Wasp, Ant-Man, and Iron Man decided that they wanted a vacation and found replacement members for themself, and then Thor continued to be away and Captain America came back just as it was time to hand over the reigns and so became the new team leader as the most experienced member. This is portrayed a bit more seriously here where Janet and Hank’s decision to leave is directly connected to Janet getting shot and nearly dying and Tony doesn’t decide to leave the team until Cap comes back.

I was particularly intrigued by the portrayal of how the failure of trying to have the Hulk as a member affected Tony. I said before that this book was a lot more successful as convincing me of how important the Avengers were to Tony than the issues of The Avengers that I’ve read.

In issue #6, when Tony is talking about things that have gone wrong and are making him have less faith that he can make this team work, he says, “Not to mention… Everything that happened with the Hulk. I still have trouble accepting that I- that we- couldn’t rein him in. I’ve always prided myself on being so capable. Snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. Turning a negative into a positive. Story of my life… I guess I’m just not used to failure.”

In issue #7, when Clint was trying to convince the Avengers to let him join the team, he said, “Hey, you gave the Hulk a chance-!” As Iron Man, the Wasp, and Ant-Man are discussing the Avengers’ future, both whether or not to allow Hawkeye to join and to extend invitations to other people in the superhero community, Tony says, “Every other hero- and would-be hero out there- we’re setting an example for the rest of them to follow. Why else would someone like Hawkeye seek us out…?” When Ant-Man questions the idea of turning the Avengers into a “criminal rehabilitation program,” Tony says, “I doubt I’d put it like that in the press release… but why not? After all, wouldn’t that fall under the purview of helping people who’re unable to help themselves…?”

In issue #8, when Steve seemed trepidatious about the fact that the three new members he would be leading were all formerly criminals, Tony explains, “I’m afraid I need to take some responsibility there… I look back at the situation with the Hulk as my own… personal failure. I should’ve managed that one better. With these new people on board, I… suppose I saw another chance at redemption. Theirs and mine.”

This is all building off of how in The Avengers #16, as the torch is being passed to the new team line-up, Tony had said, “When the Avengers first formed, the Hulk was a member, also! I hope that you can find him, some day- and convince him to be an ally again! Despite all your skills, awesome strength such as his could be your greatest asset! The last word of advice I can leave with you is- find the Hulk!” Though in this series the idea of trying to recruit the Hulk again isn’t brought up. And, of course, that new team line-up ended up determining that they were strong enough on their own and didn’t need the Hulk.

Iron Man (1968) #77-81

With this batch of Iron Man issues I went from May 1975 to September 1975, according to the Marvel Wiki. Issues #77 and #79-81 were written by Mike Friedrich, with Steve Englehart assisting with the plot of issue #80, and issue #78 was written by Bill Mantlo. Issue #77 was penciled by Arvell Jones, issues #78-79 by George Tuska, and issues #80-81 were penciled by Chic Stone.

In issue #77 the Mad Thinker, who had previously taken control of Iron Man, says, “You display the psychological characteristics of one who values his self-control- his free will- quite highly… To such a person, being subjected to another’s will, such as my own, would infuriate you more than anything imaginable.”

At one point Iron Man tells the Mad Thinker, “Your ray goes up against armor designed by Tony Stark- whose inventive genius far exceeds your own!” Later he says, “You’ll have to do better than petty treachery to knock me out of the action, buddy!” In this same panel Tony inwardly thinks, “That’s it, Tony- hide the fact that you’re tired- throw the big macho at him- maybe it’ll scare him!” And the tough guy act actually works as a tactic.

In issue #79 after Iron Man saves a couple the narration describes how, “Their gratefulness in the midst of their hardship is almost embarrassing… Shellhead’s always been a guy who sees a job and does it… More emotional involvement comes hard- but thankfully he sees another job- and acts upon it.”

In issues #80-81 Tony is in another world which slowly drives him mad because of the cosmic imbalance caused by him not being supposed to be there. This is represented by narration panels that are prefaced with “Madstark” that say things like “Hescrazycrazy! Idonttrusthim! Idonttrusthim!” and “Comingtogetme! Allaround! Allaround!”

In issue #81 the narration states, “Shellhead has been called power personified! There is the look of cool steel in his eyes- and perhaps in his veins, as well!”

Black Widow (2001) #1-3

These issues were published across November 2000 to March 2001, according to the Marvel Wiki. All were written by Devin Grayson and Greg Rucka and painted by Scott Hampton.

The first Black Widow miniseries was alright, but I really enjoyed this one. The painted artwork was great. The inciting incident was Natasha having Yelena kidnapped and put through plastic surgery to make her look like Natasha while Natasha underwent plastic surgery to make herself look like Yelena. Yelena wakes up in Natasha’s home confused as to where she is and just as she’s shocked by her reflection in a mirror, Daredevil comes in and kisses her and implies that they had sex the night before, which in particular freaks Yelena out even more, but she’s able to recover and goes along with it and pretends to be Natasha. Inwardly Yelena is insistent that she is Yelena Belova but she’s unable to contact her own superiors and is given a mission by Natasha’s to kill Yelena Belova so she goes to the place that they told her Yelena would be. Natasha doesn’t give Yelena a chance to speak and instead quickly forces a fight and tells her, “You’re obsessed with me. You want to be me. You want to kill me. I told you before! You’re too old and too slow to ever kill me!” As Yelena fights back she says, in response to Natasha-pretending-to-be-Yelena asking her who she thinks she is, “I’m the Black Widow. My… name… is… Natasha Romanov.”

Issue #2 has Yelena on the run from S.H.I.E.L.D. who purportedly want to arrest her for murdering Yelena, though in reality they’re all in on this and are working with the real Natasha. Natasha explains that, “She thinks she’s Natasha Romanov. She thinks she killed Yelena Belova. But she is Yelena Belova. She’s coming undone.” Everywhere she goes Yelena is hounded and cannot catch a break and the issue ends with her curled up hiding in a dumpster. Early on in issue #3 Daredevil, who was never comfortable with this mission but is still cooperating with it, approaches Yelena in the dumpster. Yelena initially fights against him and tells him, as he attempts to reassure her, “I’m not her, not Romanoff- […] Not Natasha, never loved you- never kissed… you.” When he manages to tells her that he knows she asks him who she is and when he tells her Yelena Belova she curls up against him while he hugs her and says, “Yelena… I’m… Yelena Belova… The Black Widow.”

Daredevil brings Yelena to where Natasha has been doing her own espionage work while pretending to be Yelena. Natasha is able to get Yelena’s employee to say that Yelena is naive, that he was using her, and that he was planning to kill her in the end while the real Yelena is watching. Yelena and Natasha then take him and his men down together, but once he’s defeated Yelena turns on Natasha. When Natasha fights back against Yelena and says enough, Yelena says, “Is what you did to me enough? Kidnapping me? Drugging me? Framing me? You stole… You stole me from me, Natasha…” Natasha tells Yelena that she had wanted to save her and that, “You are naive and that will get you killed. You think what I did was cruel, but it is nothing compared with with the savagery of our business.” Yelena pushes back against this, asking, “You call stealing my soul nothing?” And then, “I understand you think you are justified in your cruelties. But you are right. I do not understand the kind of monster who would rape me in this way.” Natasha acknowledges that there were other ways of taking down Yelena’s employer, but says, “I wanted you to understand, finally, what it meant to be a spy. We are not Daredevil or the others, Yelena. We are not heroes. We are tools. And tools get used.” Yelena has the opportunity to shoot to kill Natasha but chooses against it and accepts just getting her face back, though she is still incredibly angry with Natasha. The ending note regarding Yelena is that, “Maybe now she knows it’s not a game. Maybe she’s grown up.”

NYX (2003) #1-7

These issues were published across October 2003 to September 2005, according to the Marvel Wiki. All were written by Joe Quesada. Issues #1-4 were drawn by Joshua Middleton, with some assistance from Jean-François Beaulieu. Issues #5-7 were penciled by Robert Teranishi and inked by Mark Nelson and Chris Sotomayor.

I had a Laura Kinney phase as a teenager but I never read this series, which is where she first appeared in comics, because the fact that she was a child prostitute in it put me off. I picked it up now because I was in the mood for something a bit sensationalized and I did actually like the overall book, even though Laura’s role in it wasn’t particularly notable. I never got very deep into X-Men comics because they seemed unappealingly complicated, but I do find these stories about mutants on their periphery/outside of the superhero world interesting.

#comics read this past week #my posts

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informaticn · 3 years

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the tragic thing about taking the red room & making it into a murder orphanage is that is blatantly robs both natalia & yelena of a core piece of their story : individuality. bc they were both very unique as both people & spies, but changing the story from them being manipulated into joining the widow program by being preyed upon ( natalia through her grief, & yelena through her patriotism ) by their government to being basically kidnapped off the streets & forced to join through sheer not knowing anything else fundamentally alters how unique they can be & partially negates the entire shared story they had

#if you're wondering taylor what the fuck are you talking about how do those things go together #well they go together bc the core of the shared journey of the two widows was their individuality #the red room wanted yelena to be natalia & to make her country & parents proud yelena wanted to be natalia #( to an extent ; on yelena's part it was less a desire to be natalia & more a desire to be the widow #but given how ingrained natalia is in the identity of the widow by fact of her putting the widow on the map #it generally amounts to the same in the end )#while natalia for her part wanted yelena to be yelena & not her or the widow bc yelena herself was unique #& deserved more than to simply fall into the line of something that would never truly be hers #this is a repeated thread in their original story together #pale little spider shows yelena desperate to best natalia as the widow & being upset when she did something #that didn't mark up to natalia bc she wanted to prove herself to be a true black widow #on par with that of the original that she was meant to replace #1999's run has a few lines to the same effect of yelena trying to prove herself the ' true ' widow #natalia commenting that yelena doesn't want to ' be ' her ( natalia )#why be the widow when you can be yelena #a spy is very difficult to stop once she has found what makes her unique #then the 2001 run has a more obvious blur between the two & more clearly shows how yelena & natalia differ #by showing them in the light of truly ' being ' each other #individuality is a very heavily present theme in their shared story & they're shown as being very different & unique throughout it #but it's undercut when take that similar but different positions & make it so they were both just raised in the red room #it's less interesting as a plotline too but that's for another time #under the murder orphanage they're not unique or trained to suit them while remaining true to the widow at her core #they're just carbon copies of the same exact spy that exists apparently dozens if not hundreds of times over #bc there are dozens if not hundreds of other ' widows ' in this storyline outside of them #there's no room to be uniquely them under this plotline #hm #anyways #ooc / shit posting from marble's basement.#delete.

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616natasha · 3 years

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A spy is very difficult to stop - once she has found what makes her unique. Natasha Romanoff in BLACK WIDOW (1999)

#natasha romanoff #616natasha #black widow #blackwidowedit #natasharomanoffedit #blackwidowhub #cbnetwork #comicedit #marvelladiesdaily #comicswomen #dailymarvel #dailyavengers #marvellegends #comicsedit #marvel 616 #natasha romanov #black widow 1999

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vdovab · 3 years

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sentences / starters taken from black widow ( 1999 ), #1 - 3. feel free to change pronouns / tenses as necessary. / triggers. espionage.

“ friend or foe? “

“ that depends. if i’m a foe, do i get tied up? “

“ you’re sweet . . . but agitated. “

" nothing serious. just feeling a little mortal these days. “

“ and you caught me at a bad time. i’m leaving town for a few days. “

" sweet dreams . . . “

" i’ll see what i can find out . . . “

" hey, hey. she’s a feisty one. “

" ‘cause you look like you’re in a bit of a bind. “

“ well, i would be fine, if you hadn’t taken my corner! “

" but there’s more to know than that, isn’t there? “

" ah, you mean like the question of who i am? “

" i am at work. you will call me ___. “

" you have that wrong. “

" i may lack your experience, but i am your equal or better in every other respect. “

“ or so it says on paper. “

" look, you’ve picked a bad day for all this. my patience is already at a low ebb. “

" what am i hearing here? your people sent in an agent? “

" i didn’t think you’d kill me until you know about my mission. “

“ what’s to know? you were sent for the bio-toxins in that crate? “

" the base is filled with soldiers and weapons. you have a plan to escape it? “

“ i will manage. “

" i admire and respect you, ___, but you’re getting older, are you not? “

" at least you’ve learned not to enter a hot zone without prearranging a way out of it. “

" i’ve got to go. duty calls. “

" i’ve been sent here by two separate governments to kill you. “

" i was sent to collect information, retrieve targeted objects, and perform indicated executions without passing judgement. “

“ but today i choose independent action. “

“ and don’t thank god yet, ___, we are not going to do this the easy way. “

" international espionage is a paranoid and shortsighted venture. those who play hide behind the rhetoric of defense and preservation, but they do not believe in the future. “

“ if, however, you wish to live, you will need my protection. “

" so it’s true. you really are running things now. “

" was this your idea? this little ingenue you have on my tail? “

" she’s going to get hurt, you have to know that. “

" i wonder, ___, do you ever think about just letting go? “

“ miss me? “

" listen, ___, i do not want to hurt you. “

“ and you do not want to “be” me. “

“ do you really understand waht it means to be a spy, ___? “

" you learn to be lost all the time, so as to never be able to direct anyone to your employers. or your heart. or your vulnerabilities. “

“ and for what? “

“ to play pawn to any one of a dozen governments that will shoot you in the back just for becoming the dispassionate creature they require? “

“ you push on and on, never knowing what will next make you suddenly aware of the cold. “

“ why be ___, when you can be ___? ”

" i’ve got news on your package. “

" your operative is down, ___. “

" i wait for nightfall to make contact. we all wait for nightfall . . . “

" sorry, pal. no hitch-hikers. “

“ the ___ herself. i am honored. “

" she’s no woman, she’s a spy! “

" ask yourself this, ___, if it were that easy to do, would it really be worth doing? “

" i can’t work with a shadow. “

" do not bring your passion to work. it is only a detriment. “

“ let us hope not. for i came here to ensure sanity. “

" shhh . . . fear not, ___. “

" i’m getting too old for this. “

" when will you learn, ___? russian, americans . . . those are people he’s going after! “

" if she’s old and tired, then why is she fighting? “

" she means that she is tired of the short-sighted stupidity of men like ___, not of fighting to stop them. “

“ forget about them, ___, i believe this dance is mine. “

“ no. you will not kill me today. “

“ because you look forward to coming after me again. the game is your passion. “

" and that is what makes you unique. “

“ besides, hadn’t you better be finding a way out of this hot zone? “

" they suspect a spy is using it to escape. “

“ and so they are trying to stop the unstoppable. “

“ a spy is very difficult to stop once she has found what makes her unique. “

#sentence meme #rp meme #rp sentences #* writing. / meme.

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mattelektras · 3 years

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Dont know if you answered this yet, but whats your opinion of MCU Yelena?

i haven’t seen the movie but i’ve read spoilers/seen/promos/gifs/other people’s recollections of it so make of that what u will.

first off i think the casting is great so no complaints there

and that’s where my no complaints policy kind of stops because there’s really not much that’s very yelena about her at all??

her relationship with nat is very watered down and simplified and really that does both of them an injustice because they’re grown adult women and they have a relationship that’s a lot more complicated than grew up together sisters besties like this is the mcu so i can’t say i expected much but it’s frustrating

616’s yelena has this huge overarching theme of like. identity. ie who and what the black widow name means, what it means to her specifically and the difference between being THE black widow and being a girl raised in the red room trained to be a “black widow”

like. yelena is nat’s “equal or better” wrt skill but the point is it isn’t JUST about skill, and yelena was still young and abrasive and hard headed and couldn’t understand why she couldn’t beat nat but there’s also a line from nat about how “a spy is very difficult to stop once she’s found what makes her unique” and THAT is what yelena’s arc is about

but mcu yelena has none of that??? they’re not bothered about defining who yelena is as opposed to nat, or who she is to the black widow name but they’ve never done that with nat either like. they rarely refer to her as the black widow, we don’t know where the name came from, we don’t know how nat was deemed worthy of it so how are they gonna deal with it in regards to yelena?

if they do her taking the name to homage her dead sister then that’s just. a completely different fucking character??? yelena was primarily an antagonist to begin with, meant to reflect natasha’s character in a black mirror kind of way with yelena caught up in the Literals and origins of the black widow as opposed to herself as the black widow so idk it’d be meaningless to me for that to happen because the conflict and turmoil would come from the very predictable place of Am I Good Enough instead of i KNOW i’m good enough and i’m going to prove it. prime example of the mcu just not having the range

yelena doesn’t WANT to be free of where she came from or what’s been done to her. she’s proud of it in a way and as much as she begrudgingly admires nat in a lot of ways, she’s disappointed in what she’s become ie spy to avenger and that’s what makes her and their relationship so unique from a character perspective because nat’s TRYING to save her and do something we all objectively know is better for her but she doesn’t see that she has any problems because she’s so caught up in it

where IS that in the mcu??? she’s so soft and empty of any real uniqueness or anything that separates her from natasha. i saw someone say she reads more like the oc from that black widow teen novel or whatever it was and they were RIGHT they’ve made her so much more palatable for a big screen audience n it’s just not her. she’s just seems like a shallow nat 2.0. there’s none of her begrudgingly learning that she is in fact a person with inherent value not just valuable to her country as a spy

the revelation that she’s a victim and has been abused by this organisation comes very simply to her and then that’s just. that. it doesn’t change the trajectory of her character or make her rethink things

one thing i will say is that they kind of captured her personality??? yelena is a lot more matter of fact and biting in her responses. she doesn’t use theatrics or her sexuality like nat does and i can kind of see that in the ‘that’s disgusting’ bit w the pose??? its just in that stupid ass humour way they’ve have to do everything in the mcu

idk there was just no nuance to her imo. and it didn’t leave her w much room to grow or change other than maybe she’ll be the black widow to honour nat one day which comics yelena would absolutely never do

#bw spoilers #q & a #anonymous #a lot of things would’ve been fixable if they had t waited 10 years

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chernayavidua · 3 years

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A SPY is very difficult to stop once she has found what makes her unique.

earth-616 natalia romanova / independent mixed canon & headcanon based. written by soph. est. 2016. revamped 2021.

#indie 616 rp #indie marvel rp #comic rp

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anqelwiithhxrns · 3 years

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O C P E R S O N A L I T I E S ↳ character traits

anastasia romanoff / a spy is very difficult to stop once she has found what makes her unique.

#oc personalities #character traits #anastasia romanoff #fyeahmarvelocs #allaboutocs #ocappreciation #my edits

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momdidraiseahoe · 4 years

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From Black Widow (1999)

Natasha Romanova, aka Black Widow

“A spy is very difficult to stop, once she has found what makes her unique.”

#black widow #nat romanoff #natasha romanoff #marvel #yikes #marvel layouts #marvel women #marvel edit

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durandtm · 4 years

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TIMOTHEE CHALOMET, 19, NONBINARY, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, CAMPBELL “CAMP” DURAND! according to their records, they’re a SECOND YEAR, specializing in ADVANCED ENCRYPTION and DRIVER’S ED; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (dark circles under eyes, the scent of eucalyptus, running late, looking disinterested or confused, constantly writing). when it’s the (aquarius)’s birthday on FEBRUARY 18, they always request FRIED PICKLES from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ kara, 26, she/her, pst ⍀

HIS STORY.

+ Home is on the southwestern side of France where the scenery consisted of salt farms and old windmills. Many of the village's buildings were whitewashed, and some, even the farmhouses, had ornamental towers reminiscent of the 16th century. Their town of Ars-en-Ré was a commune on the Île de Ré in the Charente-Maritime. Whitewashed buildings there would often accent their buildings with grayish blues and whatever flowers they could grow. + Campbell Durand lived with his mother, Camila, and father, Hal, in a quaint guesthouse belonging to a fish and lobster farmer. + Boats went in and out of the harbor all day via a long channel between the marshes, and that was where you could find Hal from dusk to dawn. + A distinct feature of the town was its strange black and white church steeple. It had been a useful mariner's way-finder for centuries. Camila Durand would often go out to the steeple. She enjoyed the quiet walk over, the feel of the water’s breeze against her skin, and proudly overlooked her boys at work. Campbell would wave violently toward her, smile brightening his face, stomach rumbling for dinner, as she silently guided them home. + If Campbell was not in school, he was in and out of the harbor with his father. He would do at least one run in the morning before school and two after. On days with higher run expectancies or days when men would not show up due to poor weather conditions, Campbell would miss school, much to his and his mother’s dismay, to work with his father. + “Camp,” he began to be called. It was easier to shout one syllable than two over the deafening sound of the waters and men working. + The boy’s scent was slightly fishy, mixed with saltwater and sweat. Regardless of whether or not his peers’ families were in the same industries or higher middle class, this was unique to him and often kept him from experiencing close friendships. + Once a year at most, Camila Durand went into the city. The trip’s purpose was to collect necessities, and despite her desire to take her son, Hal insisted Camp remain in Ars-en-Ré. + When Camila was pregnant with their second child, Camp was finally allowed to accompany his mother to the city to carry things for her. He stopped at a street vendor whose wooden display was covered with beautiful flowers and bottles filled with perfumes and oils. When the smell of eucalyptus grabbed his attention, Camila smiled; eucalyptus grew plentifully in Southern France and was the base note of her everyday perfume, a luxury item she was able to pick out for her wedding. She bought the eucalyptus oil for her son, a secret to be kept from Hal. Camp would use it when he got to school and hoped it wore off by the time he left. + Camp’s hair was a hectic mess of curls. His mother liked to wrap them around her index finger mindlessly, creating a sensitivity and exclusivity around the act. While he had an affinity for it and could often be found with a hand in his hair, he would never let anyone but his mother touch it, remaining true even into young adulthood. + Eventually, Camp’s curls grew long and people would tell his parents that he was such a “pretty girl.” Camila tucked his long curls behind his ears like she did her own for as long as she could, but eventually, his father’s ego got the best of him. It was like Campbell’s masculinity was meant to be a reflection of his own. If Campbell was not masculine enough, Hal felt it meant he wasn’t masculine enough. + This led to the desire, manipulation, and force-of-hand Hal had in having another son. + Getting pregnant again was a long, hard road for Camila. Her first miscarriage was found out by Campbell climbing into her bed to find a mess of blood. Hal reprimanded Camp for screaming, even though it was the sounding alarm that saved her life at the time. Hal rushed out the door with Camila in his arms, slamming the door shut behind them. Things were never explained to Campbell, leaving him confused. When his mother arrived home safely, he quickly held to the relief and asked no questions. It wasn’t until she began to show, two pregnancies and one miscarriage later, that he found out his parents were still trying. + When it was time for the baby to come, delivery was even more difficult than the act of getting pregnant. The complications took her life. + After his mother had passed, there was nothing tying Campbell and Hal together. He fell into a quiet, depressive state and spent his entire earnings at the harbor on a laptop like the ones all of the kids at school had. + Camp barely tried at school, though he succeeded with flying colors. + When he got home, he would remain tucked away in his room, playing video games, coding, learning and unlearning algorithms, and the like. He often would stay up all night, sleep becoming less and less of a priority as his eyes remained glued to the blue light of his screen. + His father began drinking when he got home. The two sat at the dinner table together. They didn’t talk. If anything was to be said, it was Hal, telling Camp that he would waste his life away on that computer and never make anything of himself. + Camp began hacking. It started out as a result of having beaten all of his video games and having no money to buy more. It became his own sort of game. It started small, the computers of classmates, then teachers, then strangers, then businesses, then local government, then banks, and eventually, secret intelligence branches. + The boy had no ambitions, no goals, no ulterior motive, no end game. He was told that there would be very serious consequences for his actions, but the agency was in America, a country in which he was not legally adult, and he felt untouchable. His 18th birthday wasn’t far so they did with him what they would have done with any juvenile delinquent in his position and offered him a “bright future” that started with Gallagher Academy. The Fall semester would begin in September of 2019, and along with it, would begin Camp’s new life. + He packed his bags, gave his father a reluctant hug, ignoring his proud ramblings of how he would make something of himself after all and that his mother would be so proud, and was on his way. He would wake up and go to sleep missing the quiet safety of the home his mother had once occupied. He would miss the certainty of his father’s mundane routines and joining him for quiet dinners of cabbage and meat stew when he got home.

HIS PERSONALITY.

(insightful, patient, weird, rebelling, lone wolf, great listener, always running late, 1000 moods, needs space)

+ Kaiju films are they’re favorite (Kaiju is a Japenese genre of films featuring giant monsters that are usually attacking major cities) + Also loves Ghostbusters + Always has a movie they want you to watch + Barely sleeps, leaving dark circles permanently under their eyes + Computer is so old it glitches. + Dreams of a car with a neon under-glow, though they don’t know where they’d drive it + Included a major of driver’s ed because they have never driven a car, nor has their family ever owned one, and driving fast sounds cool + Ends up using it as a coping mechanism. some people punch things when they’re mad, others cry, he drives. fast. dangerously. recklessly. but it’s okay because technically they’re studying + Drinks absinthe as a way of remaining close to their father, who they think they’re destined to be regardless of what fancy school invited them to the states and thinks they’re “talented” and “genius” + Listens to Mariana’s Trench in the background of whatever they’re doing + Has tattoo ideas, but no tattoos: UFO, bermuda triangle, third eye, a mask, illuminati symbol + Talks to you for hours about conspiracy theories + Writes poetry + Likes feeling the breeze with their eyes closed (it reminds them of their mother doing the same at the church steeple, looking over them at the harbor) + Keeps a notebook separate from their poetry, meant for deep thoughts, connecting thoughts and ideas, and inspiration + Photoshopped your head on a meme and sent it to you at 3am + Gets heartbroken 30 times a week by falling for people they look at + Has trust issues + Often unmotivated and disinterested + Feels like they have to adapt to every person they meet to be liked, so they’re often silent at first, figuring out how to mold themselves into the kind of person they need to be around you + Labeled themselves as nonbinary as soon as they were no longer under the strict rule of masculinity presented by their father + Wants to use they/them pronouns, but is too scared to ask. Feels like it’s a “burden” to ask people to go through the trouble of being thoughtful. They don’t want people thinking about them at all + Figuring things out takes them a little longer + Only comes out of their shell around people that are gentle and easy-going + They are tolerant and composed to balance their intense energy when it gets to be too much and needs people to do the same + Can not flirt if their life depended on it + Can be social but born a lone wolf + Only clingy when having the time of their lives with you, trust you with their heart and soul, or realize they can help you drastically with something and wish to focus on their effort to help you + Need people to sense and feel where the lines between “seeming” and “being” blur and that can figure out who the person is behind the anonymous mask + There’s always some kind of mask to see through + Cognitive AF + Come across emotionless because it is hard to allow themselves to be seen as vulnerable by other people + They hide from their own self + Highly selective and self-aware + They find it hard to ask for help + It’s not all fun and laughs + They adore someone who will inspire confidence in them and the courage to be in the moment and embody their own complexities. Someone who takes them seriously enough but will also keep the conversation light and free-flowing. They will only crush their own walls if you literally allow them to go ahead and ask for the help they deserve + They want people who can allow them to escape and be an actual human anchor for their souls + They do not like to be forced when it comes to sharing what is important to them. They will only do that on their own time or not at all + They know the difference between who is a friend vs. who is a best friend vs. who is a mere acquaintance vs. who is a person they view romantically. These lines do not blur or cross + Once on that level, it’s like having a secret language of communication + Harsh with their words. They are not polite because their words happen outside of emotions + How they communicate with others often has nothing to do with how they’re feeling on the inside + Come across as senseless and illogical and absolutely nuts + Likes to say “I told you so” + Get in their head while you’re talking, so they sometimes have to pretend that they understood

#gallagher:intro #intro

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queen-scribbles · 4 years

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Domesticity asks: two odd for Brykar, two even for the Spy Nerds, two odd for Keme & Jorgan, and two even for Tragen & Jaesa

Brykar

33. how do they refer to the other in public? how do other people refer to the other? (i.e. “my partner”, “ask your father”, ”dad and papa”, ”how’s your wife?”, etc)

Jonas jokingly referred to Bry as his better half ONCE after they got engaged, and now that’s ALL the ENTIRE SIS will call her.when swapping small talk. (It’s his own fault, and it’s true, so he doesn’t mind as much as people think he does)

Bry usually refers to him by whichever stage of their relationship they’re on (boyfriend/fiancé/husband), though she will occasionally call him her better half, too. (Sayna calls him Bry’s Spy Guy bc it rhymes twice over and that’s just the sense of humor bffs have.)

35. how often do they go on dates?

As often as they can. If they go long enough without being able to have a physical date where they’re in the same place at the same time it winds up prompting a very long holocall that basically counts as a date.

Spy Nerds

19. who uses all the hot water?

97% of the time it’s Theron, which is okay, bc 97% of the time, Jaaide went first, so he doesn’t need to worry about leaving any. Every once in a while though, if she’s had a very bad or physically demanding day, Jaaide will go stand in the shower until all of the hot water is gone.

28 what kind of stuff can be found around their place?

Datapads, caf mugs, a couple holos of them together, Keke until she gets too big, lots of tech stuff, many, many pillows on the bed. Jaaide used to have the Vaylin holo standing in the corner until Theron admitted it creeped him out a little(like she was watching them), and she banished it to storage.

Keme & Jorgan

37. do they celebrate birthdays, valentine’s day, anniversaries?

Oh, hell, yeah. There might be a war on, but that’s one perk of belonging to the same unit--they’re always together, so they can celebrate any special occasions they so desire. Sometimes that means taking a few extra minutes together before they go dodge artillery fire or sneak up on an Imp stronghold or whatever, but that’s just life for Havoc.. (and for V-day and anniversaries, they’re hardcore the “No presents, no presents, screw it, I GOT YOU A PRESENT :D” kind of couple)

41. what would they do if the other one was hurt?

Oh, whatever’s responsible is as good as dead, and in terrifyingly short order.. Neither one’s particularly adept at the medic stuff(Jorgan’s a little better than Keme just bc he gets more practice thanks to her fighting style), so unless “hurt” mean “literally bleeding to death” they’re both more likely to take out the threat before focusing on patching up whoever’s hurt. Lots of worried bickering if it’s serious but not super serious. (”Would you stop fussing?!”//”Yes, when you stop bleeding!” “I’m fine.”//”The shrapnel sticking out of your arm says otherwise.”)

Tragen & Jaesa

42. what are little gestures they do for each other?

Silently standing next to each other for support during difficult conversations, having a mug of caf/tea waiting to help with a hard day, offering honest opinions even when they disagree(which isn’t often), Jaesa has more than once reached through their Force Bond to offer the equivalent of a supportive hand squeeze when she can sense Tragen’s upset about something and circumstances prevent a literal hand squeeze. Tragen makes sure there’s always some kind of cookies or chocolate or something in his quarters to satisfy Jaesa’s sweet tooth. (Most common is tuile, since he knows they’re her favorite)

46. morning routine?

Once they share a morning routine, they’re both early risers, so they wake up within a few minutes of each other, cuddle in bed for a little bit while they convince themselves to get up, meditate for an hour or so together if there’s nothing urgent looming over the day(this step gets skipped or shortened if there is something urgent), review plans for day over tea(Tragen is a big tea drinker), get dressed etc, walk together as long as they can into base proper, and then hug and a kiss before they go their separate ways. Tragen has the Commander stuff to do, and Jaesa helps Sana Rae a lot given her... unique standing between Jedi and Sith.

Domesticity asks

#domestic asks #brykar #spy nerds #keme/jorgan #tragen/jaesa

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clumsybookworm18 · 5 years

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I really like your blog and I was wondering what your favourite books are or if you had any book recommendations? ♥️

Awww you’re too nice! Thank you ☺️💕

You made my night! Asking for book recs while letting me gush over my favorite books at the same time? Hell yes!!!

Ok ok so my absolute favorites are:

A Court of Thrones and Roses by Sarah J Mass

When nineteen-year-old huntress Feyre kills a wolf in the woods, a beast-like creature arrives to demand retribution for it. Dragged to a treacherous magical land she only knows about from legends, Feyre discovers that her captor is not an animal, but Tamlin--one of the lethal, immortal faeries who once ruled their world.

As she dwells on his estate, her feelings for Tamlin transform from icy hostility into a fiery passion that burns through every lie and warning she's been told about the beautiful, dangerous world of the Fae. But an ancient, wicked shadow over the faerie lands is growing, and Feyre must find a way to stop it . . . or doom Tamlin--and his world--forever.

Anyone who’s been following me for a while knows how much I love this series, especially the second book, A Court of Mist and Fury. The first book is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast (one of my favorite tropes) and surprisingly I found it so boring that I almost didn’t finish it BUT after getting to the second half I was completely hooked. Getting through ACOTAR was so worth it because I got to read ACOMAF, which had more of a Hades and Persephone vibe (++A). ACOMAF is my ultimate comfort book, I love it so much that I own it physically, on my kindle and on audiobook. It may be cliche and the writing can be ridiculously funny sometimes but I still love it!

The Winner’s Trilogy by Marie Rutkoski

They were never meant to be together. As a general's daughter, seventeen-year-old Kestrel enjoys an extravagant and privileged life. Arin has nothing but the clothes on his back. Then Kestrel makes an impulsive decision that binds Arin to her. Though they try to fight it, they can't help but fall in love. In order to be together, they must betray their people . . . but to be loyal to their country, they must betray each other. Set in a new world, The Winner's Curse is a story of rebellion, duels, ballroom dances, wicked rumors, dirty secrets, and games where everything is at stake, and the gamble is whether you will keep your head or lose your heart.

These books hold a special place in my heart. They got me out of a HUGE reading slump and reminded me why I fell in love with books in the first place! This trilogy has everything- beautiful writing, fantastic world building, clever plot twists, forbidden romance, and most importantly, ANGST. The main female character, Kestrel, is one of my favorite heroines ever; she is a badass and doesn’t need a sword or fists to fight given that her greatest weapon is her mind (unlike most YA heroines nowadays).

Hope and Red (Empire of Storms series) by Jon Skovron

Hope's old life ended the night her entire village was massacred by the emperor's forces. Now, trained in secret by a master warrior, her new life is centered on only one goal: vengeance.

Red lives by the skin of his teeth and sharpness of his wit. An expert thief and a brilliant con artist, he cares for only one thing: a good time. But when the empire's soldiers start to encroach on his territory, taking down his friends with it, he may have to re-prioritize.

Together, they will take down an empire.

A fantasy trilogy that is so UNDERRATED. It’s has amazing characters, diversity, action, wit, PIRATES! It has a unique storyline, the characters and dialogue are so funny, and the female characters are amazingly badass. I stumbled upon this book so randomly while I was at Cotsco and it looked interesting so I bought it (mostly because I thought the cover was cool 😂) but never gave it much thought. One day boredom got the best of me so I started reading it. Next thing I knew it was 3am and I was freaking the fuck out cause I had read this amazing book in one sitting that ended with a cliffhanger and I needed more pronto! Much to my delight, I discovered there were 2 more books and ordered them immediately.

Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo

Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone. . . .

A convict with a thirst for revenge. A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager. A runaway with a privileged past. A spy known as the Wraith.A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums. A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes.

Kaz’s crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don’t kill each other first.

A team formed of 6 very different but compelling characters that go on a heist. *chef’s kiss* Also Squad Goals. Needless to say I REALLY enjoyed these books.

Best Kind of Broken by Chelsea Fine

Pixie and Levi haven't spoken in nearly a year when they find themselves working―and living―at the same inn in the middle of nowhere. Once upon a time, they were childhood friends. But that was before everything went to hell. And now things are... awkward. All they want to do is avoid each other, and their past, for as long as possible. But now that they're forced to share a bathroom, and therefore a shower, keeping their distance from one another becomes less difficult than keeping their hands off each other. Welcome to the hallway of awkward tension and sexual frustration, folks. Get comfy. It’s going to be a long summer.

I don’t like NA a lot so I went into this thinking it was gonna be another NA cliché read so believe me when I say I didn’t expect to love it as much as I did. I fell in love with Pixie and Levi’s relationship. I loved their banter, their complicated history, the angst, the love-hate and UST. The author’s writing style is so good and quirky, and the inner monologues are hilarious. She does a great job managing humor and drama! The side characters are great too. She wrote 2 more books with some of the side characters (which sadly I haven’t got the chance to read yet) but this could also be read as a stand-alone. I listened to the whole audiobook on YouTube (100% recommend!).

Honorary Mentions:

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne

99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne

Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion

Skyward by Brandon Sanderson

Falling Kingdoms by Morgan Rhodes

The Witchlands Series by Susan Dennard

To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo

Bring Me Their Hearts by Sara Wolf

The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi

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informaticn · 3 years

Text

thinking about how the black widow ops would have been, essentially, forced to give nat & yelena every opportunity & skill they would need to be able to resist & overcome the program in their efforts to create perfect spies

#moreso in the way that it draw back to individuality & being unique in the context of their stories #a spy is very difficult to stop once she has found what makes her unique #they would have had to find themselves what made the women unique #& tap into it in order to cultivate it #thus making their agents more powerful than they could ever really have any hope of controlling #which is also likely why tapping into their patriotism & using manipulation tactics were so prevalent #nothing better to keep them on the right side than by using their own emotions & ambitions against them #rather than making vain attempts at force to keep compliance #hm. i'm still writing that doc can you tell #ooc / shit posting from marble's basement.#delete.

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dstrachan · 3 years

Photo

LUCY SPRAGGAN 'CHOICES'

To start off I really must thank one of my ex-students for encouraging me to give Lucy Spraggan a critical listen. Taz McDougall had been providing me with regular reports about our local speedway team; I appreciate that for commercial reasons their exact name varies according to principal sponsorship, but as far as I'm concerned they are simply the 'Berwick Bandits'. As a result of her input I was able to produce weekly 'Speedway Reports' for a couple of seasons which featured in my shows on TD1 Radio and also on Lionheart Radio. As time passed things changed and these updates ceased. Nevertheless I remained in contact with her and was impressed by her developing passion for photography and was thrilled for her when she was able to get trackside and pit lane access to enable her to capture many excellent images of the bikes and riders.

As a result of our connection she persuaded me to step away from my somewhat 'anti-populist' views regarding such TV shows as 'The X Factor' and listen carefully to Lucy Spraggan. I had come to realise that I really shouldn't be so dismissive of artists who attempt to pursue success by engaging with such programmes after I bought a CD which turned out to be by another artist who had participated in such shows – bought in 'Rough Trade' – it was only after purchase that I disciovered that Bo Bruce aka Lady Catherine Anna Brudenell-Bruce had been a contestant in 'The Voice' in 2012. More recently I encountered Livia who used a number of negative experiences from 'The X Factor' to help re-inforce her determination to produce music her own way.

So; I listened, and was very impressed. Fast forward and I noted that Lucy would be playing at a local venue, Mac Arts in Galashiels. I made some enquiries there and as a result was so happy to be able to invite Taz to attend the venue for the gig with a triple A pass that would enable her to get up close with her cameras. I also attended that night and experienced a truly inspiring live performance that ensured that I was aware of Lucy's stage presence in addition to her songwriting and singing talents. Having previously been persuaded of Lucy's talents I most definitely came away from that night in Galashiels as an even greater believer. She had the sell-out audience totally entranced; her rendition of The Proclaimers' '500 Miles' was a true joy.

Subsequently, following her social media posts it became abundantly clear that Lucy was undergoing a personal transformation and I could very much empathise with her posts as she dealt openly and frankly with confidence and body image issues. Unlike some followers, I was perfectly at ease when Lucy's posts shifted in emphasis from her keep fit and healthy lifestyle content to a focus on the impending release of her new album 'Choices'. Why would anybody claim to be a supportive follower only to become critical about a professional musician seeking to positively promote her latest creative output, particularly at a time when opportunities to generate income via live performances have disappeared? Quite rightly Lucy's social media feed highlighted her positive feelings regarding the way in which 'Choices' was received by the general public. It rapidly climbed the i-tunes cart to reach number 1 and Amazon sold out of all physical format copies ahead of the first official chart after release! So on Monday 1st March, 'Choices' was listed in the UK Album Chart at number 5, looking like the first openly 'out' lesbian to have a Top Ten solo album in almost twenty years. Personally I only concern myself with whether or not I like the music but I can certainly understand Lucy's excitement about such achievements given that is how she makes a living.

Well, as usual, what was intended to be an album review starts off by getting rather sidetracked – but, hey, that's just me rambling on; should you wish there are plenty other more standard reviews of 'Choices' just a click away via your chosen web browser. So now I'll get to the music. Throughout the album Lucy's intelligent and thought provoking lyrics span a range of topics. The opening track 'Flowers' sets the scene with Lucy's unique voice soaring over atmospheric jangly guitars that for some reason got me imagining a 1960s cold war spy movie shot in black and white. Track two, 'Roots' is a great upbeat rocker that simply begs to be sung along with; I briefly wondered if the line “I'm not made of stainless steel” was a subtle reference to her earlier life as a plumber's apprentice – probably not, more a recognition that she is not impervious to the corrosive effects of the environment, particularly on social media.

Next is 'Sober' which considers her relationship with alcohol which she has stated as having “been a very difficult and sad thing”. 'My drinking has closed so many doors in my life and the gravity of that only really hit me once I decided to stop drinking”. Lucy has said that she found herself drinking to "take the edge off" and then doing the same the night after to "take the edge off" the edge she'd created for herself the night before.

“Long winded way of saying my drinking career has been a vicious cycle since it began. You might think I talk about this a lot - you're right, I do”.

Regular listeners will know that I frequently seek to link songs to topics that I have been discussing and now track four, 'Run To The Hills' enters my library as an alternative to Iron Maiden if I ever refer to hills and mountains.

'Heartbreak Suite' continues Lucy's determination to open her heart and sing about deeply personal issues; followed by 'If I Had A God', which underscores her propensity for deep and searching lyrics such as “I'd give anything for something to believe in, but you won't let me in”.

'I Spent A Night In The Desert' is yet another song that inspires me, and finds me considering the pre-Covid world where artists freely toured extensively, playing indoor venues and outdoor festivals. Having been privileged to see her play live in Mac Arts, Galashiels, where I experienced the electric rapport that she so readily generates with her audience, like many songs on this album, I can quite clearly visualise Lucy delivering this to live audiences and having them totally captivated.

'You've Let Yourself Down' maintains Lucy's distinctive vocals whilst flirting with a more contemporary style.

We now reach track nine, 'Animal' – check out the 'Rockyesque' video that accompanies it which provides Lucy an opportunity to showcase her current physique and attitude.

Track ten is 'Wild', although the genre doesn't particularly fit this song's lyrics start with a great nominee for the best country and western song title, “she's sick and tired of being sick and tired”

The next track is my former 'track of the month', 'Run', which also has a great video to compliment it. Whilst always having enjoyed running, it wasn't until my 'nervous breakdown' / 'head exploded' that I truly came to appreciated just how important physical fitness could help to maintain mental health and so the message contained in the lyrics of this song are so wonderfully inspirational!

The penultimate track is the one that provides the album title, 'Choices (Don't Be Afraid)' which again provides Lucy with the opportunity to showcase the breadth of her talents; echoes of Emmylou Harris as far as my ears are concerned, yet still so obviously Lucy Spraggan!

Finally, to close this wonderful compilation of tracks is 'Why Don't We Start From Here?', another truly anthemic song that serves to confirm my belief that Lucy Spraggan is an underappreciated genius – something that might hopefully change following the release of this album.

1/ 'Flowers'

2/ 'Roots'

3/ 'Sober'

4/ 'Run To The Hills'

5/ 'Heartbreak Suites'

6/ 'If I Had A God'

7/ 'I Spent A Night In The Desert'

8/ 'You've Let Yourself Down'

9/ 'Animal'

10/ 'Wild'

11/ 'Run'

12/ 'Choices (Don't Be Afraid)'