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#a relationship wouldn't work between us bc although i can be attracted to girls i don't like relationships at all or pda and
yeoldotcom · 3 years
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oh wait can i vent really quickly
#so basically i don't really define my sexuality just bc it's confusing as hell like who u wanna like u know?#and my friend is bi and she keeps saying oh yea zee ur gorgeous and ofc i tell her she's also gorgeous because She Is#but today she was like 'no bc i'll fall for u' and my fuckboy-at-heart ass thought she was joking so i went along with it but turns out#she wasn't joking n then i was like well oop i'm actually not really emotionally available n stuff basically i'm the worst person to fall go#for#and i'm like i really hope ur joking like don't tell me u fell for me over a convo... 😳 like bro i'm so sorry i'm literally a fuckboy#i gave my heart to nct and exo what do u expect i literally cannot do real relationships unless it's either with chenle or hongwon 😐#and she's like no i was joking#so now i'm like OH AHAHAHAHHA THATS SO FUNNY WOW#and my brain is like LMAOOO U REALLY THOUGHT SHE LIKED YOU ???? U REALLY THOUGHT ANYONE COULD LIKE U??? U THOUGHT U WERE LOVEABLE???? LMAOOO#and so of course i got super ... sad (wasn't diagnosed w depression so i'm not about to say i was depressed) but i started to spiral#and think Bad Things and she's like we gotta stop or i'm actually gonna fall and i'm like lmao sis ion believe a fucking word u say anymore🌝#but it's funny because even though i was kinda bummed about her joking (she called me and was like I Wasn't Joking but i don't believe it)#a relationship wouldn't work between us bc although i can be attracted to girls i don't like relationships at all or pda and#i tend to lean more towards guys too and she's also not really my type (although i do think she's beautiful because she Is !)#so why was i even bummed out? and now it's gonna be weird bc i won't be able to think about anything else besides this event when we meet up#and we gotta meet to exchange gifts and idk it's just kinda weird it's almost 5am and i can't get this out of my head#like i don't like her romantically so why was i even fucking bummed ???? and it wouldn't go anywhere !!!!! and i would find it weird even#if we tried to have a relationship together !!!!!!! so WHY was i bummed and WHY am i still thinking about it??????#anyways that's a weird thing that happened to me today :/ or technically yesterday#tbh i might just be aromantic i can't see myself in a relationship at all and my brain won't ever let me think i'm capable of being loved or#loving someone else. besides the imaginary perfect people i make up in my head for scenarios and inspiration for stories#but anyways if u read this all the way through i'm so sorry and thank you so much ur amazing i love you#yeol.com/zee
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kinksvt · 6 years
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→ pairing: wonwoo x reader
♕ summary: you and wonwoo had been friends for a while but after some unknown tension, that changes.
✱ genre/warnings: friends to lovers!au, talks about sex/smut related themes, nothing too explicit
✱ word count: 3k+
part 2
a/n: theres going to be a few parts bc i didnt know tumblr had a block limit or w/e its called so it stops at a random point, im sorry!
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you went over to seungcheol's house where he and the rest of the twelve boys were hanging out—courtesy of your friend dropping you off. they said that they were bored and you were the only person that could hype them up and make it not so boring. you weren't exactly close to each one of them. joshua was shy around you, jun was always awkward and never knew what to say, same goes with seungkwan and dino. but you were closest with cheol, jeonghan, minghao, wonwoo and mingyu—knowing wonwoo for the longest. the rest were kind of your friends, still kind of like acquaintances. "what did you bring this time, y/n?" cheol asked, getting up from the couch where jeonghan and wonwoo also sat.
"i brought alcohol of course, and pizza." you replied, already feeling a bit tipsy after drinking a few beers before arriving.
"no alcohol for me but i'll take some pizza." dino said, standing and helping you with everything.
"i knew that you wouldn't want any so i brought backup soda." you carried a liter of pepsi and set it on cheol's kitchen countertop. all the boys got up and gathered in the kitchen, it was clear that they haven't ate yet so it was good you brought enough for them each. you smiled a bit when you felt a large hand rest on your shoulder. "you're too kind to us, y/n." a deep voice whispered, dangerously close to your ear which sent shivers down your spine.
you turned and saw wonwoo smirking. "you scared me." playfully hitting his chest, you got pizza with the rest of the boys and headed back into seungcheol's huge living room. there was a large flatscreen tv, a decent sized coffee table, two couch chairs and three long couches. although there was plenty of room for everyone to be seated, jihoon, soonyoung, joshua and dino sat on the floor, closer to the tv. you sat on the couch between cheol and jeonghan with the pizza in your lap and another beer in your hand. wonwoo came shortly afterwards and sat right in front of you.
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cheol ended up putting a scary movie on, which he knew was one your favorites. every now and then you'd feel wonwoo's hair slightly brush your leg, causing you to get goosebumps. you couldn't lie and say that you never thought of him in a, not very appropriate sort of way before. he was extremely attractive—to say the least—with a deep voice, amazing talent, a caring yet dominant personality. and not to mention he's always around you and wanting to become closer to you. texting you, hanging out with you when he can, inviting you over to his house, parties, etc. he was sweet and kind in general but for some reason, when it was with you, it felt different. you weren't the only person who noticed either.
a few months ago, jihoon and some of the other guys mentioned the situation saying how he treated you differently than how he treated them and other girls. wonwoo was obviously appealing so he did have numerous girls trying to get with him around school. either trying to get with him, or in his pants. jihoon said that he'd always turn them down, ignore or just walk the other way, clearly uninterested. jun agreed and said that before you came into the picture and got close, wonwoo used to accept girls and have loads of them in his bedroom every night. he never tried to have a relationship, just a one night stand or a hookup every once a while. you clearly thought it was weird and a bit suspicious, but you never were the kind of person to draw conclusions and assumptions to stimulate your own fantasies of having the infamous jeon wonwoo as your own. he and you always talked and were closer than anyone else. sometimes he would flirt with you on the down low, but you always thought it was just friendship humor between the two of you. so you played along. you two would flirt and be suggestive around one another, compliment, call each other "babe" and say "i love you," but you never really thought of it being serious until that point. you had hoped your feelings weren’t one sided..
but even before that, that didn't stop you or your imaginations of being with him. innocently, or sinfully. you had to be honest, you did find yourself a bit turned on while thinking about his slender, long fingers inside you or tangled in your hair while you sucked him off. or how his skillful tongue would feel flicking against your clit and eating you out until you saw stars. or, how his length would stretch and fill you up.
in midst of your thoughts, a weight hit and landed on your shoulder, making you silently wince in pain. you quickly looked to your left and saw that jeonghan had fallen asleep and tipped over onto you. quietly thinking, you gently held his head and moved up to let him lay down. while doing that, you accidentally bumped wonwoo in the back with your legs, quietly apologizing in return. wonwoo turned around instantly and saw you, he smiled. you continued moving jeonghan slightly so he wouldn't wake up in pain. you knew how badly it sucked when that happened after sleeping wrong. when your work was done, you smiled to yourself and felt a tap on your back. "do you want to sit down here with me?" wonwoo whispered when you turned around. you nodded but motioned for him to wait a minute. you got up and grabbed two blankets, one for you and one for jeonghan. you covered him up and then sat on the ground against the couch next to wonwoo. "are you cold?" you asked him, genuinely concerned.
"uh, yeah actually, a bit." wonwoo replied quietly that only you could hear. smiling, you moved the blanket so it covered both you and wonwoo, but it was too small, wonwoo’s left knee was still exposed and part of his thigh. wonwoo silently groaned, then scooted closer to you, rubbing against your arm and knee. "there." he smiled as he fixed the blanket on his side, covering his legs.
you gulped. you felt so close to wonwoo. you could feel the temperature of his skin against yours. you didn't know what to do. you could practically hear your heart beating fast and hard against your chest—you were surprised that wonwoo, or the others weren't able to either. the rest of the boys were awake and still watching the movie, for the most part. some were dozing off, some were going to head home, telling cheol goodbye.
at the end of the movie, only jeonghan, seungcheol, jihoon, wonwoo, minghao, vernon and seungkwan remained in the living room.
cheol chose the next movie which, to your luck, was 50 shades of grey.
"ah, hyung why this movie?" the second youngest in the room complained.
"yeah, do you know how awkward we'll all feel? 'specially y/n!" seungkwan agreed with vernon.
seungcheol gave them both a look and turned his head over to you. "y/n, do you mind if we watch this?"
you swallowed dryly, your heart still continuing to beat rapidly. "uhm, i mean, i guess not? whatever you all want.." you silently cursed seungcheol for putting you on the spot.
seungcheol innocently smiled, "then i take that as a no, you don't mind." he put on the movie and headed back to the recliner he occupied.
suddenly wonwoo whispered in your ear, "why did you agree to this, y/n?" his breath fanned your ear, sending another round of chills through your body and heat to your core.
you weren't sure if he knew what he was doing to you. your heart still continued pounding, "i-i don't know, i didn't want to rain on anyone's parade." that technically wasn't a total lie.
wonwoo laughed slightly by your ear, "how thoughtful of you."
you turned your head, his face inches apart from yours. "thank you." you replied as calmly as you possibly could.
his eyes studied your face, then dropped down to your lips for a split second. wonwoo smirked slightly and licked his own, then nodded.
as he was about to turn his attention to the movie, you quietly said his name. "wonwoo.."
he looked at you with a raised eyebrow, "yes?"
your heart felt like it was going to burst at any moment. you wanted to kiss him. you wanted to grab his face and taste him, feel his soft tongue against yours. you wanted to feel his lips against your neck, his hands at your throat. everything. you wanted him so badly. "i..i’m going to make popcorn," you quickly got up and stumbled to the kitchen. you needed to get out of there. you could barely breathe, you needed to collect yourself and calm down. searching for the box of popcorn, you tried to slow down your breathing. you opened the bag and put it in the microwave, then set the time. you sat at the island waiting for it to finish. mentally slapping yourself, you couldn't get his lips out of your mind. you were so close to just leaning in and kissing the hell out of that boy. you rested your head against the cool marble top, gently banging your head against it, wishing that jeon wonwoo wasn't such a fucking god that you just wanted to pounce on every time you see him.
"you okay?" a voice said from in front of you.
you sighed before responding, “yeah i'm okay.” it was minghao, the red haired boy examined you closely, "you sure?"
"yeah, it’s just.." you sighed once more, laying your head on the table. the microwave began to beep, signaling the popcorn was done. minghao walked briskly over and got it out, setting it near you. "hao?" you asked, head still down.
"yes y/n?" you heard the chair next to you scrape gently on the wood floor.
lifting your head up, you leaned in closer to him, just so that wonwoo—or any of the other awoken boys—wouldn't have a chance of hearing. “what do you do if you like someone but you're just too afraid of ruining what you already have with them?" you were ready to spill.
minghao puffed his cheeks and furrowed his eyebrows, a look of confusion taking over his soft features. "oh, uh,” he paused for a second. “hmm, well, i don't really know."
"i don't know if i'm in love with him or if it's just a little infatuation."
"oh wow, who is it? if you don't mind telling me." you could tell minghao was genuinely interested and curious.
you glanced over to the living room, making sure wonwoo hadn't popped up and peeping on you two.
"WAIT." minghao said, a little too loudly.
"shh!" you hushed, quickly covering his mouth. "please, don't tell and keep it down." he mumbled an "okay" into your hand. his own reaching to your wrist to take it away. you grabbed his shoulder and put your lips near his ear, "it's wonwoo." you quickly moved away and hid your face.
"oh, psh, i knew that."
"how did you-" he cut you off by rolling his eyes.
"oh come on. i've seen the way you look at him, the way you act with him, the way you get when you're next to him."
"b-but it's just friendly things though! we-"
"what's friendly about calling each other babe, saying i love you, flirting, smiling at each other as if you two were the only ones in the world, and falling asleep on each other?"
you glared at him while he smiled, showing his teeth like a child. "shut up, i just don't know if i like him, love him, or lust over him."
"well, maybe it's not just a crush? to me it seems like its not. besides, i've seen the way you act around him. it's completely different than when you're with the others."
"oh whatever. it's not that obvious."
"y/n. come on. you stare at him with total heart eyes, you always giggle around him, you look at him up and down, you have that shine in your eyes. i bet your pupils grow a thousand times bigger by just thinking of him."
"stopppp." you said, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.
"see? you're blushing! you're so adorable." minghao laughed and put his hands on both of your shoulders.
"if you don't stop teasing me i swear to god xu minghao i will-“
"y/n?"
you and minghao faced the living room to see wonwoo standing there, confused.
minghao moved his hands off your shoulder and held back a smile. "good luck," he whispered in your ear and got up to leave the kitchen.
you punched him playfully while he laughed and you gave him a look. "hey wonwoo. what's up?"
"i was just, wondering where you were. you were taking a while and then minghao left and came here so.." wonwoo stood there awkwardly.
why was he being like this? it's as if he were nervous, anxious.
"aw, that's sweet wonwoo, i was just talking with minghao and lost track of time."
"oh,” was all that he replied with.
you grabbed the bag of popcorn and walked to him. "come on," smiling, you put your hand on his back and guided him back to the living room.
"guys, want any popcorn?" wonwoo asked the boys, but they were all too interested in the raunchy movie. "guess it'll be just for us." he sat in his previous spot while you did the same.
time passed and the movie began to get a bit more dirty. seungkwan was right, you did feel awkward. especially being next to wonwoo, who couldn't stop moving around. "is something wrong, wonwoo?" you said quietly into his ear.
"what? oh, uhm-" he coughed lightly, "yeah i'm fine, why?"
you giggled, "you keep moving and clearing your throat. are you sure you're alright?"
he visibly swallowed and smirked the slightest. he leaned over to your ear, "i'm sure y/n. i'm fine." he smiled sweetly, assuring you he was indeed fine. "what about you? are you alright?" you felt his hand touch your inner thigh, subconciously making you clench them together. you shuddered and nodded. he hummed, "mm, you sure?" he innocently began squeezing your thigh, a habit he developed long ago into letting you know he's there for you.
you swallowed back a moan and grabbed his hand, then moved him closer, "i'm sure."
neither of you were sure.
as the different sex scenes came up and you couldn't help but imagine that wonwoo was christian and you were anastasia.
before, you thought that this kind of relationship was extremely weird. being tied up, spanked, overstimulated, etc. it all seemed so..not ordinary. but one day, you were bored and your mind lingered over to the kink and researched more about it. now, you're pretty sure it wouldn't be all that bad, hot and arousing, even.
you glanced over at wonwoo who was clearly more into it than you, including the other boys. you looked around, seeing how all of them were focused on the movie, the brightness shining their eyes. moans and slaps from the movie erupted and made your ears grow warm. you looked at wonwoo, seeing his adam's apple in his throat bob. you obviously couldn't be the only one who had been affected by the movie's vulgar scenes. you felt like you needed a high power fan on your face. you weren't only turned on, but embarrassed watching this with all the other guys. how was anyone else not moving around like wonwoo? he has clearly bothered. the poor boy couldn't stay still, and the bulge in his sweatpants didn't seem so comfortable either.. you were lucky that no one could be able to read your thoughts, or who knows how they would react.
wonwoo felt the exact same way though. he couldn't stop moving around, his dick wanting nothing but friction and release. wonwoo, like you had thought as well, couldn't help but wish you two were in the movie's positions rather than christian and anastasia. he's only imagined how your moans would sound during the countless times he's gotten off to that scenario.
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"finally the movie's over!" seungkwan yelled after what seemed like forever.
seungcheol got up, heading to switch the lights back on.
"what happened?" jeonghan said suddenly, voice laced with sleep as he sat up and yawned.
"and by 'head to bed' you mean beat your meat for a bit," vernon chuckled.
the rest of the guys laughed as seungcheol looked at him, "you're not wrong." vernon looked back at him with an dramatic shocked expression while seungcheol raised his eyebrows and headed upstairs. vernon looked back at him with an dramatic shocked expression while seungcheol raised his eyebrows and headed upstairs.
"i'm going home, see ya." seungkwan sat up, grabbing his jacket.
"me too, give me a ride?" vernon asked the older, also grabbing his jacket.
"sure." the two youngest said their goodbyes and headed out the door. other members followed suit and left back home as well. with you, jeonghan, jihoon, wonwoo and minghao left, everyone tried to brainstorm ideas on what to do next. "how about truth or dare?" jihoon suggested.
"what are we, eighth graders?" jeonghan complained, rolling his eyes.
"got a better idea?" jihoon snapped back.
"yeah, actually," jeonghan paused, "anything but that."
"you're just scared that someone will give you a dare that you don't wanna do." jihoon pressed at jeonghan, wanting him to give in.
he scoffed in return, "scared? no way, i just don't wanna play that dumb game."
"then suggest a better one, yoon." minghao butted in, stopping the two from fighting.
“how about spin the bottle?"
“how's that any better than truth or dare?"
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