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azrielsdove · 4 months

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Love and Loss: Ch. 2

Warnings: Angst, Su*cidal Thoughts ?, More Angst

Ch.1 | Ch.3

***

You sunk farther into the bath, allowing the hot water to cover your head. It was quiet under the water, peaceful. Your mind was blank, numb. You wished you felt anger, sadness, heartbreak, anything. Yet there was nothing there. Just a lonely, silent, emptiness.

You pushed back above the water, drinking in deep gulps of air. You liked to stay down until your lungs were burning, the pain breaking up the numbness. You stared across the water of your bath, watching the ripples extending from you. You may stay in here all day, reheating the water as needed. It was better than being out there.

Rhysand wouldn’t talk to you. He wouldn’t even look at you. Mor had taken him away to his room after his world shattering confession. You remained on your knees in the spot he was, your hands still out like they were holding his. Even Amren was shocked into silence, for once not having anything to say. The quiet in that room had felt like it was crushing you, convincing you that you were dying.

Azriel ended up breaking the frozen fear surrounding everyone, kneeling down next to you and grabbing your hands in his. You had looked at him, eyes wide in shock, no words coming to mind. He had simply nodded, pulling you up with him. He took you away from the townhouse that night, flying you up to his room at the House of Wind. He wasn’t sure you wanted to be in the one you shared with Rhys.

He placed you into his bed, carefully wrapping the covers around you. You knew he sat in a chair by the bed the whole night, watching over you. You didn’t sleep a single second, staring off into the darkness instead. When morning came Azriel tried to talk to you, finding you unwilling to move or speak. You were a shell, an empty being of who you once were. Az was patient, helping you out of bed, feeding you, forcing you to bathe. You moved at his will, never arguing. Truthfully, that only made it worse.

It had been weeks since Rhys came back from Under the Mountain, and you hadn’t spoken a word. You knew the cursebreaker he called his mate, Feyre, was engaged to the High Lord of the Spring Court. You also knew how much pain and sorrow that brought him. He was hurting, heart broken for a female he barely knew while his wife wasted away into nothingness beside him.

You pushed your head back under the water, considering the idea of not coming back up this time. How nice it is, floating under the water. Much nicer than watching your husband of 150 years pretend you never existed. You closed your eyes, tilting your head farther back in the water. Your lungs screamed for air, the only reminder that you were still alive. You felt calm, at peace.

You heard a sudden muffled shout from above the water and two strong arms were coming down, ripping your body out of the bubble you had created. You gasped and coughed as your lungs took in the air they so desperately needed, a voice much too loud in your ear.

“What are you thinking?! What are you doing?! Can I not even trust you to bathe alone anymore?!” The voice was frantic, angry. A warm towel was wrapped around your body, hands cupping your face. You were forced to look up at Azriel, panic all over his face. “Talk to me!” He shouted, hands tightening on your face.

You just stared at him.

He sighed in desperation, leaning his forehead against yours and closing his eyes. “Please. You can’t live like this. I need you to come back.” He whispered, the plea you had heard from him so many times recently. You wished you could, you wished you could break out of the nothingness in your heart. You wanted to come back stronger, fight for your husband, show him what he was losing.

But you couldn’t.

Azriel pulled away, picking you up and carrying you to the bed. He grabbed some of your clothes, dressing you as gingerly as he could. He braided your hair back, having taken the time to learn to make sure you would be as comfortable as possible. Always your greatest friend, Az was. He gave you a tea to drink, you dutifully finishing the cup in front of him. You did everything he asked, trying to hold on to some sort of routine. You didn’t notice the signs of exhaustion on Azriel’s face as he tucked you in, setting you up to sleep. You didn’t notice the tears that slid down his face once you closed your eyes, your breathing steadying off as rest overtook you. You especially didn’t hear the whispered “I love you,” as he pressed a kiss to your head.

***

Azriel POV

He couldn’t take it anymore. He understood that the mating bond could destroy someone, and he understood Rhysand was struggling. What he didn’t understand was how he allowed his wife to become this horrible empty shadow of herself. How could he not bring himself to care? Why was Azriel the only one taking care of her, everyone else tending to the poor, sad, High Lord?

He burst into the study, Rhys hunched over the maps on his desk. He looked up to see his friend walking in, giving him a smile. A smile. The bastard could smile, fake or not, and his wife was dying of heartbreak down the hall. Rhys caught on to the rage expelling from Azriel quickly, standing to face him. “To what do I owe this pleasure, Brother?” He quipped, testing if this anger was at him or not.

It was.

Azriel couldn’t help the slight shake to his voice when he spoke. “She is fading, Rhys. I am doing what I can to keep her body alive, but her mind is going.” His shadows were swirling over him and the High Lord, agitated. “Do you know where I just found her?” He shot at the unmoving male in front of him.

Rhys scoffed. “Surely I don’t know.” His no-care attitude about the whole situation pissed Azriel off even further. How can he act like it’s her fault the Cauldron mated him to someone else? Why is he punishing her for something outside of anyone’s control?

“She was under the water in her bath. Rhys, if I had gotten there seconds later I would be here to tell you to plan a funeral.” Azriel saw the flash of pain in Rhysands eyes, a small hope that he hadn’t completely abandoned her. Az latched on to this, stepping closer to the other male. “She hasn’t spoken. She doesn’t fight, she doesn’t argue anything. She takes everything that happens, no reaction.” He sighed, shadows calming down around him. “You need to talk to her.”

“No.” Rhys said, turning back to his desk. The anger rose back up in Azriel, How did he not care?!

“Why not?” He demanded, refusing to leave this study until he found anything that may help her.

“I don’t want to see her.”

“What did she do to you? What did she do wrong? Why are making her suffer?!” Azriel yelled, temper rising higher.

Rhys whipped around, dark power swirling around him. “She did nothing,” he snarled, “she is perfect. That is the problem. How do I look at my wife of 150 years and tell her I can’t be with her anymore?”

Azriel stepped back, stunned. “Feyre is set to marry someone else. You would throw away all those decades of marriage for a female who isn’t even yours?” His words were deathly quiet, bringing the thoughts out that Rhys was trying to hide.

A terrible silence swallowed the room, Rhys sinking back into his office chair. He buried his face in his hands, all the power from a second ago gone. He looked worn down, half of who he used to be. Azriel couldn’t help the pang of regret in his heart from yelling at him.

“I don’t know how to approach her. So much happened Under the Mountain, and I don’t want her to no longer want me due to it.” He looked up to Azriel with shining eyes. “How am I supposed to explain all the terrible things I did?”

Azriel stepped closer to his friend, placing a hand on his shoulder. “She never stopped loving you, Rhys. She’s hopelessly devoted to you, willing to be by your side through anything. She can handle it.” He said comfortingly. Rhys nodded and looked back at the ground.

“I will talk to her tomorrow.”

***

Reader POV

You woke up, waiting patiently for whatever breakfast Azriel had for you today. You were a little surprised that he wasn’t already by your side when you woke, but you knew he had a life outside of caring for you. A knock at the door had you looking over, sliding under the covers to walk over and open it.

Your heart stopped as you looked into the eyes of your husband. “Hi,” he said softly. You stood there unmoving, staring at him. For the first time in 50 years he was back in front of you, talking to you. “I, uh, have a lot to apologize for.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Walk with me?” He held his hand out, waiting for you.

You paused for a second before complying and placing your hand in his. He held on tight, like you were his lifeline and he was dying. You walked next to him as he took you through the halls of the house, heading towards your favorite balcony. The two of you had spent many nights out here, gazing at the stars and being in love.

Things were so different now.

He pulled you outside, closing the double glass doors behind you. You looked down at the blanket he had spread on the ground, your favorite meal on top of it. Your eyes found Rhys’ again, a sheepish smile on his face. “I wanted to cheer you up.” The smile fell, regret taking its place. “I never should have allowed you to hurt for so long.” You felt a stir of emotion in your chest at the distraught look on his face. Your hands found his, giving them a gentle squeeze. You pulled him to sit next to you on the blanket, reaching down to taste the meal he prepared.

You gave a soft hum at the delicious taste on your tongue, feeling a little more whole with Rhys at your side. He was watching you, taking in your appearance. It had been so long since he had been able to study you in more than old memories. “I’ve missed you.” He whispered, waiting for a response. You looked at him for a long moment, taking in the male who was your everything.

“I missed you too,” you said back, voice extremely hoarse. Rhys looked caught between a smile and breaking down into tears. You moved closer to him, holding his hands in yours. He looked down at your joined hands before pulling you into him, wrapping his arms around you.

And he cried.

He cried and cried, holding you like he would never let you go again. “I am not who I used to be,” he sobbed into your neck, “I did terrible things down there.” He pulled back and looked at you, your hands coming to cup his face. “I did so much bad down there, just to come home and continue doing it to you.” His voice was small, broken.

“It is okay, my love.” You whispered, wiping his tears away. “I am still here.”

“Barely!” Rhys shot out, arms tightening around you. “Az told me how he found you, in the tub. I was letting you suffer, all for someone the cauldron said I was fated to.” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what the cauldron says. You are the only one for me.”

Your heart grew, feeling beginning to flood through you. The love you you had so desperately missed brining you back to life. You leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you always Rhys.” You felt him smile against you, holding you closer and kissing you again.

The two of you stayed out there for hours, kissing and sharing sweet words. You felt the broken pieces of you coming back together, healed by the love pouring from your husband. You knew you could help each other recover from what had happened, that everything would be okay as long as you were together.

***

Here’s chapter 2!! please let me know what you think so far <3

#acotar #acotar x reader #azriel #rhysand #rhys x reader #rhysand x reader #azriel x reader #azriel x you #rhysand x y/n #rhysand x you #azriel x y/n #love and loss

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yns-world · 1 year

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lion & lioness

title: lion & lioness

pairing: erik killmonger x fem!reader

summary: erik takes the heart-shaped herb and sees his lost lover.

word count: 1k

warnings: reader death

a/n: i’m now taking requests for killmonger so feel free to send in your requests <3

As the new king of Wakanda, it is ritual for Erik to drink the essence of the heart-shaped herb and to speak with his ancestors. But as the searing power of the herb ran through his veins, he felt himself arriving at a place other than his childhood home.

When he opened his eyes, Erik found himself at the edge of a lake, in a forest that he recognizes. The creatures of the night sang their songs-- crickets and insects chirped, the nocturnal birds trilled, and the wind lapped at the lake water. The night was full of life under the illuminating light of the full moon.

Erik craned his head back to take in the sight of the moon. A soft breeze blew past Erik, and a scent caressed his nose-- a familiar scent.

A moment later, Y/N materialized a few feet in front of him, wearing a sheer gown made of white silk.

“My King.” Y/N beckoned, with a proud smile on her face. Erik’s eyes filled with a mix of love and heartbreak. He broke the distance and pounced on her, wrapping his arms around her in a bone-crushing embrace.

His tears were seeping through her translucent gown, and Y/N ached at the sight of his pain.

Y/N pulled back just enough to see his face. When she cupped his cheeks with her hands, he noticed that they were not cold, but they held the same warmth that they always did when she was still with him. This fact only made him cry more.

“You’ve come so far, N’Jadaka. You’ve done it.”

It was true, their whole lives were spent fighting for this one moment-- the moment where Erik was crowned king of Wakanda; where he was revered as the true Black Panther.

But before he was the Black Panther, they were Lion & Lioness. Hearts and souls bound as one.

“I need you by my side.” Desperation laced Erik’s voice, his eyes pleading with her.

“As long as the moon is out, I am with you.” She momentarily took her eyes off him to gaze up at the moon, and the moon reflected in her wide eyes.

Erik’s expression shifted from one of despair to one of bitterness.

This was injustice-- his whole life was an act of injustice-- and Erik swore to avenge each and every action done to him, starting with burning the sacred garden of the heart-shaped herb.

Y/N knew that face, she knew exactly what it meant when Erik’s eyebrows furrowed and his usual scowl deepened.

“If you burn those flowers, you cut off our connection.”

Immediately, Erik felt a moment of pain that he would feel if he did burn those flowers-- it was scorching pain, like someone took a rod of fire and ran it through his chest before dragging it down his torso and cutting him in half. But that was only the start of the pain, what came next was indescribably worse.

After the initial wave of hell, he was left hollow. He was an empty shell of a man.

He did not remember happiness. He could not recall love.

He couldn’t even remember the original reason for why he became king in the first place.

In that single, simulated moment, Erik was no longer himself. He was merely a ghost.

The feeling washed over him as quickly as it came and he was brought back to the present-- his arms around Y/N as she stared into his eyes, experiencing every emotion with him.

Erik was silent, but he knew better than to burn those flowers. He wouldn’t dare cut off a connection like theirs.

“Secondly, your heir…” Y/N’s words trailed off and she brought a hand to her stomach. Erik’s eyes followed her hand and was stunned. He gently kneeled in front of her, and placed his hand over her stomach. He pressed a kiss on the baby bump.

He then got back up, asking how many months she had left.

“Soon.” Y/N smiled a bit wider when she saw Erik’s impatient expression.

Before he could get another word in, Y/N gave Erik a chaste kiss on his cheek.

“Good luck, N’Jadaka. Your story is only beginning.”

---

Erik’s body shot up, his chest heaving as he attempted to regulate his breathing.

---

Months would pass since that night and there was a significant shift in Erik’s ruling. What was once a war-hungry dog, has now turned into a protector of his nation.

But recently, something has been eating away at Erik. A gnawing feeling was twisting and churning every moment he was alone. He was restless at night and was suffering from insomnia.

It was another night in a string of sleepless-nights, but this time he was called to the window. Erik looked up at the indigo sky, a full moon gazed back at him.

Tonight was one year since Y/N’s passing.

Erik closed his eyes and bowed his head towards the moon.

“Rest easy, my Queen.”

When he opened his eyes, he witnessed a shooting star race across the sky-- it flew across the moon and seemed to be inching closer and closer towards the castle.

Erik’s body acted before his brain could catch up and he bolted down to the castle entrance.

Outside the entrance sat a baby wrapped in white silk. Erik picked up the swaddled baby and recognized the texture of the cloth immediately-- it was the same cloth Y/N wore when he last saw her.

Holding up the baby in the moonlight, Erik was able to see the striking resemblance to Y/N.

As he was admiring the baby, a name was whispered in his ear.

Leona.

And that was what the heir to the Wakandan throne was called.

Leona Stevens; Lion at heart; born of royal blood.

The next day, the royal courts would rejoice at this news. The elders were not appalled by the appearance of this heir, they were rather fascinated that they have lived long enough to see this phenomenon happen in front of their very eyes.

Kings come and go, but nothing could ever dispute Erik’s bloodright of being king since he has been gifted by the gods with an heir.

Leona’s birth would be celebrated for the next week. She would be revered as the Snow Leopard, for her rare birth and the even rarer occurrence of having an heir blessed by Bast herself.

“Leona!” Wakanda chanted. “Daughter of King N’Jadaka and Queen Y/N; Princess Leona, the Snow Leopard!”

a/n: if you enjoyed reading, please consider reblogging and tipping, that supports me and my account more than likes :)

DON’T BE A GHOST READER!!!!! let me know your thoughts, opinions, ideas, etc in the comments!!! i love talking with y’all <3

i’m open to requests! free feel to request, just make sure to read my pinned post for request rules <3

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grapementos · 10 months

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night terrors

aged up bakugo x reader

cw: night terrors

bakugo doesn't sleep with more than one blanket or pillow. when he's persuaded into participating in halloween, he refuses to wear a full-face mask.

covid was a nightmare for him. he didn't go outside when he didn't have to, which meant plenty of grocery deliveries. masks triggered his anxiety to the fullest, but of course he wore it when he absolutely had to leave the house.

now, you had plenty of opinions and reservations about u.a. and the hero commission, most of them comprised of colorful language and a world full of screaming until you're red in the face.

they ruined not only bakugo, but so many other teenagers that thought they were doing the right thing. they thought they were training to become admirable role models, people who were going to be trained to use their unique gifts to save and protect people. they thought they were going to become heroes.

instead, all they got was ptsd and a handful of other mental illnesses that left them in therapy, on meds, or with debilitating night terrors.

bakugo unfortunately suffered from frequent night terrors. despite therapy and going on 3 years of being medicated for his anxiety, he still woke you up in the middle of the night with throat-ripping screams.

sometimes, you'd find him in the corner, screaming at you to get away, stop, leave him alone. it was heartbreaking.

some days you could gauge when he was going to have an episode. his hands were shakier, eyes unfocused, and his mind was just elsewhere.

today, he was exactly like that, only worse. you could tell his brain was all over the place, and you hated it. you hated how his brain turned against him and forced him to think the worst, most painful thoughts. it bound him to his worst memories, forcing him to relive his them over and over. his own brain.

you did everything you could to assuage the brain fog. you made him tea in the mornings, kept the house tidy, and tried to keep him from performing any heavy tasks. it was difficult, considering he didn't much fancy being helped or taken care of. when it was you, though, he let you.

after a particularly difficult day, the two of you settled into bed together, silent as you faced each other, gazing in silence.

"i'm scared." he whispered, finally breaking the silence.

just a look in his eyes was all it took for you to know it was true. he was terrified.

you placed your hand on his cheek, caressing your thumb over the skin, "i know. it's okay to be scared."

he shook his head, squeezing your hand. he squeezed his eyes shut, breaths quickening as he thought about the idea of sleeping. sleeping wasn't kind to him, and he knew it, because he never, never slept well.

"hey, hey, just breathe, okay?" you breathed deeply to set an example, one slow inhale preceding a lengthy exhale, "like that."

he followed your example, slowly relaxing his features, "yeah, yeah, okay."

"i know you're scared," you whispered, "but no matter what, i'm here. no matter what monster you see, no matter who's out to get you, you're going to open your eyes and it's gonna be me. it'll always be me."

he nodded, wordlessly, and scooted into your waiting arms.

you slept lightly since living with bakugo. that's what made it so easy for you to identify the earliest signs of his episode.

every shift in the bed, every ruffle of the sheets, you were stirring.

so when he sat up, you were half-awake. his steps fully woke you.

you shot up to a sitting position, watching carefully as he stood still for a moment.

"baby?" you whispered, scooting over to the edge of the bed.

no response. he walked over to the center of the room, going stiff.

"kats?"

just as you called out to him, he let out the most throat ripping scream you'd heard.

you jumped on the spot, blood going cold as the shriek reached your ears. your hands shook as you took your first step on the bed, careful to not get too near.

he faced you, eyes open but unseeing. they were glazed over, looking right through you with the most fear-filled eyes you'd ever seen. he was terrified, looking at you as if you had a knife in your hand and a slasher theme following you wherever you went.

"get away!" he screeched, staggering backwards, "get the fuck away!"

your heart shattered at his words, but you knew it wasn't about you. you sucked up your fear, your sadness, and took a deep breath to ground yourself.

"okay, okay. i'm sorry," you spoke calmly, sitting down on the floor cross-legged, "i didn't mean to scare you."

your voice still wavered, still shook with the fear you definitely felt.

he didn't seem to hear you, but your smaller presence seemed to make him feel less threatened.

he was grunting, groaning, crying. his stance was defensive, ready to defend. those hero instincts that he learned as a teenager, the need to protect himself because he was always, always in danger, never left.

that always scared you. the possibility of him activating his quirk and using it on you. but being hurt isn't what scared you--it was the guilt you know he'd feel. you were terrified of him leaving you because he thought he was a danger, or too much to handle. that couldn't be farther from the truth.

you just watched, at least five feet away from his shaking form. you wouldn't touch him, wouldn't yell or panic. you'd just watch, occasionally whispering some affirmations.

it took a while for him to calm down, to stop yelling and crying. about ten minutes later, his eyes went blank again and he walked himself back to the bed and laid down.

you followed him with your gaze and pushed yourself up with a soft sigh. after a moment of processing, you grabbed a water from the kitchen and set it on his nightstand.

you checked him once more to make sure he was comfortably asleep before taking your place next to him.

you watched his face, scanning it for any signs of discomfort or anxiety. nothing. as if it had never happened.

you kissed his forehead, "i'm so sorry, my love. i hope things won't always be like this."

ngl, i have so many opinions on all the trauma these poor kids have gone through, but i like to avoid discourse at all costs. also, i had to do some research on night terrors, so i hope i wasn't too far off.

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bhaalism · 2 months

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— so I'll die there under you (every night, all night)

› astarion x reader

› wc: 1k+

› a/n: tysm dal @dhampling for the idea and direct inspiration for this via your preachers daughter prompt list <3 ilysm

warnings : grief, graphic violence, heartbreak, mention of suicide, blood, death, betrayal, compulsion, lemme know if I missed anything but yea this isn't happy in the slightest sorry

He likes to pretend you got away. That you simply broke free that night, bravery pounding thick and hot through your veins, as you fled in the night, swallowed by the dark never turning your back. It gives him a sense of pride for a flash of a second, because if anyone could survive he would hope it was you. If anyone had the tenacity and the cleverness it was you.

Even though he knows your bones are most likely moldering in some hole on the property, or buried in a pauper's grave inside the cemetery. Disgraced and forgotten by all but him.

It wasn't what you deserved.

It wasn't what he deserved.

The dormitory was oddly quiet as morning crept in, a rare moment he could steal for himself while sleep curled at the edges of his vision like a cat snuggling up to his lap. Exhaustion made his eyelids heavy, and he could feel the burn in his irises begging him to slip away into the sirens arms of rest but he stubbornly refused.

Even in reverie his memory of you doesn't quite do you justice. There was a time, in the first few months, he took any desperate opportunity he could to dip into those recollections because at least you were alive inside his head, your laugh just as real as it always was while you snagged his pinky in yours. The weight of your hand still felt solid in his. Steadfast.

Turning on his side to face the wall a little scoff escapes his lips, choking into the phantom of a wobbly sob. He never cried for you because he felt as if it would disrespect you. The knife doesn't weep for the neck it's been plunged into, after all. But you never held him like a knife, the only one in more than two centuries. You held him the way devotees hold their holy relics, and the memory of it makes him shove his knuckles against his lips to keep from wailing.

The feeling of his own fangs slicing into the skin, grating against bone, is an anchor against the tides of grief beating against his undead heart.

You never begrudged nor blamed him for the things his hands and body had done. The hands that stole and murdered and manipulated you kissed every fingertip of. The lips that had lied and cheated and insulted you mapped with your own tongue, committing him to memory. The body that had not belonged solely to its occupant...

He doesn't let himself indulge in those particular memories. Even inside reverie they remain shielded by a wall of the thickest ice, warped and indistinguishable no matter how hard one tries peering through it. It's better that way, easier. And he hates himself yet again for always treading the easier path but knows you also wouldn't blame him for it.

And that makes it worse. He wishes you were a spectre of some sort, malignant and malicious, because torment of that kind he can understand and he can respond to it. This silent self flagellation is infinitely more grueling, his own mind punishing him with lash after lash isn't something as easily quelled. For a moment he could laugh, being a phantom never would've been your style anyway. You were far too forgiving, far too loving.

As evidenced by the way you adored the beast that would kill you.

That first night began as nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary. You had been in Elfsong, drunk off the company of others more than by whatever was in your cup. He'd watched you for far longer than he cared to admit, envying the carefree way you moved and spoke, the way every piece of you screamed self assuredness and freedom of spirit.

You were so beautiful it made his chest ache, a dull throbbing pain as he couldn't tear his eyes away from you.

When your eyes had landed on him he saw the familiar attraction cross your features and as easily as slipping on a jacket he donned the part of seductive stranger. Somehow though it didn't fool you, and as your eyes searched his with every honeyed word flowing from his lips he'd grown more and more fidgety. It was unnerving, as if his skin had suddenly become translucent and someone was now peeking into the rotten depths of him.

Nevertheless he kept going, fool that he was. You let him palm your lower back, dip his head to whisper against the shell of your ear the familiar lines that always had someone stumbling over themselves to jump into bed with him.

But you met his smirk with a twin one, lips so close to his they could touch as you spoke. It made his lungs burn with a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

Do those lines work on everyone?

Oh how your eyes had sparkles with mischief and challenge, and if his heart still worked it would've been hammering hard enough to burst from his chest, splattering viscera across the wood floors.

And gods your laugh. The way you'd tipped your head back and laughed from low in your body at the shocked look on his face. He should've been insulted but he couldn't muster up the feeling, if anything hearing that sound had made him want to grab your face and plunge his tongue down your throat. Find the source of it and hoard it for himself, hear it ring out for all his days.

That night you'd grabbed his hand, lacing your scorching fingers through his frigid ones, and tugged him out the door in a whirlwind. But you hadn't been leading him to a bedchamber romp, instead you tugged him along through side streets and alleys all the way to the back stairwell of Flymms Cargo.

It was so bizarre and bewitching he'd been powerless to do anything but let you drag him along, chattering all the while about showing him something more gorgeous than anything he'd find in your bed. The recollection makes him smile, lips bloody against his shredded knuckles. How you underestimated yourself.

But true to your word you had climbed atop the roof and told him to gaze out across the harbor. In that silence as both of you stared across the water, so black it was like someone had tipped crates of ink into it, and he felt the wind move through his hair and the way your fingers squeezed his. You turned to him with a smile, whispering about how you were going to cross that sea, going to fling your arms out and embrace whatever was waiting for across the other side.

The Gate had its charms but in a world so vast it would be criminal to shackle yourself to one spot, that's what you told him.

Your next words had his eyes blown wide, considering you irrevocably insane yet feeling like he never wanted to part from you. As if he was always destined to stand on this roof with you and hear the words cross your lips.

I only just learned your name yet I want to ask if you'd come with me.

You'd giggled again at the absurdity of it, but he felt rooted to the spot while the word yes clawed and scratched at his insides like a frantic little beast thrashing against a cage. It felt like providence, like being blasted by divine flame. As if, after two hundred years of screaming and pathetic bargains, a god finally decided to answer him.

The thought now makes him wince. If anything one of them had decided to dangle something so precious in front of him only to snatch it away, remind him he existed to be crushed beneath the heel of a boot and nothing more. He hoped whatever rotten bastard it was choked on it for eternity.

Some nights he still lurks up there, on that dingy cargo warehouse roof, to feel the breeze off the water and to imagine he can hear your voice drifting with it from some ship out there. He likes fantasizing that you fulfilled that longing you told him about in those months, and that in those remote places you were having the adventure you craved so badly. That you would write to him of all the incredible things you saw and the people you met. That you would tell him you loved him, missed him.

He met you night after night from then on, so exhilarated and giddy he still has no idea how he kept it hidden for so long. Well, it's more apt to say how long his master let him believe he had the secret of you clutched close to his chest. It was a unique cruelty, letting him have such bliss and roll around in fanciful daydreams with you until the fateful night his orders shifted.

In that loathsome little bed he shakes recalling it, trembles flowing down his spine and out through his ribs as he squeezed his eyes shut against the stream of memory. His body had acted mechanically, seeking you out and vomiting words like bile. Words that weren't his own, words that he tried so hard to snatch back but was helpless in the face of compulsion.

To your credit you knew something was wrong, thanks to all the nights spent stolen away together you could see the reckless fear in his eyes. But still you followed him. How he wanted to scream at you to go, run for a ship in the harbor and leave that night plans be damned if it meant saving your life. But hopeless little fool you were, you remained stubborn. Telling him in no uncertain words that you'd get him out of this, fight or bargain or both. That even if he couldn't board a ship you two would still pave your road away from here.

So you let yourself be led by the hand of a friend, a lover, to the proverbial gallows.

It would've been a kindness if his master had simply demanded you be brought to him like every other had. If you'd just been reduced to a meal maybe it would've hurt less. Haunted him less.

Instead he was armed with daggers, facing you as bleak realization cracked across your face in that half dark study. There would be no bargaining. Only his masters gleeful smile watching his spawn gut the idiotic little thing that dared believe they would be the exception. That had dared convince him he could be the exception.

His breathing becomes ragged, too fast, as everything plays out behind his eyelids for the thousandth time. How you hadn't moved to strike him, not at any point did you even consider it. Your hands had only tried gripping his forearms, tried struggling to wrench the blades from his grip as you said again and again that it was okay.

He wanted more than anything to be angry with you for that. The righteous sort of anger that cleaved mountains and leveled cities. How could you look your attacker in the eyes and say that it was okay? That you didn't blame him, it wasn't his fault no matter what happened.

It's not your fault Astarion.

Even as he jammed that blade into your stomach, rivulets of your blood running like little streams in the cracks of the woodwork on the floor, pooling into their own oceans. Hot flecks of blood spatter clinging to his skin, his hair. How the hilt had become slippery with it, his grip faltering even though his body wouldn't cease its pursuit of his orders. The feeling of the blade sliding through flesh as easily as water.

Even then you had said the same thing as he sobbed like a broken child, the past months flashing through his head and he couldn't even say he loved you. The words simply weren't allowed to be spoken freely.

But you spoke them enough for two.

I love you.

Blood bubbling in the corners of your mouth as your breath came in forceful squeezes.

It's not your fault.

Glassy eyes, unfocused, looking past him. Through him.

Everything is okay.

He presses his face into the pillow, fingers twisting into the sheets so hard they should have shredded in his grasp. The scream, a primal thing of abject agony, nearly kills him to hold in but he knows he must. He wishes it would kill him. Wishes he had the ability to kill himself, would do it in the blink of an eye if it meant he could hold your hand in his again. Hear those words again in that silvery lilt of yours.

The fabric is damp and hot against his skin, tears and whimpering breaths smothered across it.

Instead he has to be content with this piecemeal recollection of you until so many years pass the features of your face lose their definition. Until he catches himself unable to remember what your voice, it's cadence and lilt, actually sounded like.

Until all he's left with is the vague knowledge that once, forever and a day ago, he had met a little wildling who had given him the sweetest daydreams and stolen tendernesses.

It's with that thought that Astarion sinks into a restless sleep, akin to a ship swallowed by the sea as she takes on too much water to withstand.

#astarion #astarion angst #astarion x reader #astarion bg3 #astarion x you #bg3 angst #bg3 x reader #astarion x tav #. ∗ ̥𖤐 txt!#also idk its like half character study half x reader half just me wallowing in my own depression funk recently

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cupidsdolll · 2 months

Text

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; best friend!harry x fem!reader

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲; time apart helps both Harry and Y/N learn more about themselves and their feelings.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 3.1k

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; slight angst? i’m pretty sure that’s it!

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬; hi hello! here’s the long awaited part two! part one is linked here for anyone who hasn’t read it yet! i hope you all like it <3

- - - -

Heartbreak is always one of the worst pains, but Harry thinks the absence of someone that’s been in your life for as long as you can remember hurts worse. It’s been a week since Y/N said she needed space after confessing her feelings for him and he’s just miserable. He’s not as happy as he normally is, and it seems as if everything reminds him of her. Even the things his girlfriend Liv does reminds him of his best friend, he’s found himself comparing the two.

He doesn’t mean any harm honestly, just sometimes Liv will do something and his mind will go back to how Y/N would do the same thing just differently. For instance, Liv is on her way to bring him some tea in hope it’ll cheer him up at least just a little bit, Harry’s excited to try her tea. It’s one of his favorite drinks if he’s being honest. A knock comes from the door and he tells his roommate that he’ll get it, he’s already standing up and making his way to the door. When he opens it, Liv is standing in front of him sporting a bright smile and happiness.

“Hi, hon. I brought you that tea I was talking about!” She says and he smiles back, a little hesitant but excited nonetheless.

“Thanks, babe. Come on in, I hope you don’t mind that my roommate’s here.” He says and she shakes her head, his mate’s never been a problem with Liz, the one thing he notices is different from Y/N. Liz is more natural hanging around in the boys’ dorm whereas Y/N tended to not want to come over. Something about the smell and how loud the halls are, he doesn’t blame her most of the time though. Liz walks over and makes herself comfortable on the arm rest of the chair Harry was sitting at before, ushering him over excitedly. He chuckles as he makes his way over, reminding him of how Y/N would act whenever she’s excited to show him something.

He sits down and she hands the cup to him, it's warm but not too hot, he’s assuming the walk here helped cool it down. He takes a hesitant sip, he doesn’t want to take too big of a sip just in case he doesn’t like it. It’s good, sweet but still has that leafy taste and it flows nicely. It’s not overwhelming with any of the tastes and it’s just.. good. He smiles as he stares at the cup, his mind wandering back to Y/N. He always enjoyed her tea, she always managed to create the perfect balance and temperature. Y/N makes the perfect tea, will always be better than anyone’s, better than Liz’s.

He shouldn’t be thinking about Y/N right now though, so he blinks twice to clear his head and turns to his girlfriend.

“It’s good, thank you. I appreciate you doing this for me, I know you didn’t have to.” He says and she just laughs.

“I know, I wanted to, H. It’s no big deal really.” She says. He feels bad, ever since he and Y/N stopped talking as much, he’s found himself comparing the way Liz cooks and acts to Y/N.

Y/N likes to wear more cozy clothes unless it’s actually going out, where she feels like she needs to impress someone whereas Liz tends to dress up all the time. She’s always dressed in nice looking clothes and adorned in jewelry and smells nice. He likes that Y/N always felt comfortable with him and didn’t feel the need to impress him, not that he doesn’t like that Liz puts forth all this effort into her looks because he does. Whenever he and Liz go to watch a movie, she normally wants to watch something with romance but occasionally she’ll tell Harry to turn on whatever he wants if she’s coming over for a nap.

Y/N usually put on a comedy movie and sometimes they ended up being a rom-com but they always alternate days so Harry can feel included. He misses that, he misses Y/N. He’s not sure if they’ll ever talk again, he thinks her dramatics are rubbing off on him. He just hates the absence of her, he never realized just how happy she made him feel. She made him feel warm and sometimes he’s got those silly butterflies whenever he looks at her, but he just assumed that was normal for how close of a friendship they had. He never realized just how much time they spent together, how special she was and how different from his other love interests he’s had.

But he’s never considered Y/N as a love interest, she’s always just been his best friend. Sure enough, he did like to flirt with her a little bit whenever he was drunk but that was only because he liked seeing her all flustered. He thought it was cute and it was hard for him to get her like that. Yeah, he loved her but in the same way friends love each other, it’s normal for them to say it before leaving or just because. They’ve always been just friends, the best of friends and that’s how they were supposed to be.

He feels a tap on his shoulder, a soft touch to bring him out of his mind, he’s been doing that almost daily.

“You’re thinking about her again, Haz. Can’t we just hang out without her taking your attention? This is good, it allows you to be your own person now.” Liz says sweetly, genuinely. She tries to be supportive, she really does but there’s just so long you can watch your boyfriend be heartbroken over a girl, especially one he never dated. They haven’t even been dating long, but they had only been dating for a couple of days before Harry told her she had to meet his best friend. Ever since Y/N shut the door on them and he had ushered her back so he could try to talk to his best friend and figure everything out with tears beginning to fill his eyes, it’s just been a repeat of the same days over and over again.

- - - -

When Harry walks the halls, he can’t help but to hope that he’ll be able to see Y/N on her way to class. He admits that it’s weird not walking her to class and being around her, it was their norm for quite a while. A part of him hopes that when he sees her that she’s just as miserable as him but he feels bad about that, he wants her to be happy. He wants to see that she’s doing well and that she’s happy. He always loved to see her happy, it just looked so good on her. So when he sees her sporting a bright smile as she talks with two people he hasn’t seen before, it makes his heart skip a beat and hurt a little at the same time. He’s happy that she’s doing well, he really is, it just hurts that he’s not the cause of the bright smile on her face.

He hopes that she’ll look over here so he can wave, just a small acknowledgment would hold him over he thinks. The halls are crowded and loud, he can’t help but to sigh as he accidentally bumps into someone. She always had this magnetic aura to her, always had his gaze being pulled to her. Ever since she called for a break, she’s all he’s ever been able to think about, the main thing he looks at and for. He wants even the smallest attention from her, it helps the pain in his heart.

He watches as her head turns just the slightest and their eyes meet, a warm feeling enveloping Harry as he smiles and waves at her. She just gives him the same smile she’s always given him, warm, friendly and loving, and waves back. The pain goes away leaving a happy feeling in his chest, he doesn’t feel bad about bumping into students in the hall. He watches as she walks away before making his way to his own class.

- - - -

Y/N doesn’t miss Harry as much as she thought she would. That’s a lie, she misses him terribly but after a couple of days moping and several streams of tears shed, she thinks she’s doing okay. He stays on her mind but she’s able to tune those memories out by doing the activities she likes. She joined some book club on campus and made a couple of friends that enjoy some of the same stuff she does, which is such a relief. While Harry listened and tried his best to participate in things she enjoyed but some stuff he just never got into the way she did.

The past week she’s been attending the book club and talking about the books they’re reading, she’s cut back on some of the stuff she used to do. She dropped out of two of her classes that she did just for fun and stopped volunteering every week to give herself more time to relax. She walks with them to class when she can, and they talk on the phone sometimes. She’s happy for the most part, happier than she thought she would be.

Don’t get her wrong, she still gets upset over the fact that Harry isn’t around all of the time, it’s usually late at night or early in the morning when she misses him the most. She misses him when his favorite song plays and when she sees him in the hallway. She feels bad then, seeing him all heartbroken and moping around. She’s never seen him so down, and she wishes she never said anything to begin with in those moments. She hates the fact that he’s heartbroken over her.

She’s happy for the break, as much time as the two spent together, the break allows her a chance to know who she is outside of Harry. She’s found ways to cope with this ache for him, playing songs he’s never heard before distracts her from thinking of him. Finding new books to read, new shows to watch. Not letting her look at him for too long whenever they pass each other in the halls, hide his clothes (minus the one hoodie she sleeps

in, she can’t bear to part with it because after all it’s not a complete end to the friendship.

She spends a little (a lot) of time telling herself that just being friends is okay, her feelings will go away and they’ll go back to being best friends. She knows they won’t go back to being where they were before she confessed, but hopefully it’ll be somewhat the same as before. She hopes with everything in her that she’ll be able to get over her feelings for him in a reasonable time, and doesn't want to drag this out any longer than what’s needed. She’ll remind herself when she starts thinking of him randomly, when she sees a picture of them in her phone. They always should’ve been best friends, nothing more and nothing less. That’s how the universe wanted them to be.

Everything was fine the way they were, now she has to get over her feelings for him in order to get him back. She sees him everywhere it seems, hard to avoid him even though she doesn’t necessarily want to, in the halls at school or passing by on the sidewalks. She’s nice to him, doesn’t want to make him feel even more upset. She can feel his eyes on her every time, a tingling feeling on the back of her neck before she turns around to face him.

She’s met with the same hurt expression, his eyes full of emotion and telling her how much he misses her. He waves subtly as if he doesn’t think she’ll see it, won’t want to see it but of course she does. She always sees it, how could she not see it when anytime they’re in proximity of each other gems all she’s able to look at. Of course she waves, even gives him a warm smile, one that has and always will be reserved just for him. She still wants to be friendly with him, to keep that door open for the two of them and their friendship.

They don’t really talk other than saying hi as they pass one another in the halls, or if they happen to need to copy notes. They got partnered once after everything, a sense of awkwardness filled the air between them and Y/N hated it. Hated that she felt like she didn’t know what to talk about, didn’t know what limits were with this weird boundary set by her. She feels like she should know, she should’ve known since she was the one who drew the line.

Their conversations were awkward and pointed, pain lingering in their voices as they mentally decided not to talk about anything personal. It’s better that way honestly, it keeps her from breaking and allowing him back when she knows she’s not ready. The wall built between them shows her just how much he’s hurting, shows her how much she hurt him. She never meant to hurt him, she knew breaking it off would cause a toll on him. She never thought it would be as bad as it is, never expected to see the bags forming under his eyes.

She never expected him to be so…torn up about it, to cave in on himself and go quiet. She can feel his eyes on her all of the time, and can see whenever he fights back tears. She watches as Liz tries to cheer him up, hugs him and runs her fingers through his hair. She watches as Liz brings him cups of whatever drink is in them, watches as he thanks her with a smile that doesn’t meet his eyes. She thought that maybe he’d continue partying like he always did, ignore her or something of the sort. He should be giving all of his attention to Liz, not moping on about losing her. His mind just always seems to be elsewhere, his gaze is always sad and unfocused.

- - - -

Two months later the two are doing just fine on their own. Y/N found out from a classmate that’s on Harry’s soccer team that Harry had broken up with Liz about a month ago. They wouldn’t say why they broke up and Y/N wasn’t going to be the one to ask. The two of them have gotten more friendly with one another, there’s no awkwardness whenever they’re paired up and they’ll sometimes sit together at lunch. Y/N thinks she’s able to be his friend again, and doesn't get the intense butterflies in her stomach whenever she looks at him.

She doesn’t want to kiss him as much as she used to, although the urge still comes up whenever she thinks he’s being the cutest boy ever. She decides to bring it up as they sit together during lunch.

“Hey, Harry?” She asks and he hums in response to her.

“I think I’m ready to be your friend again.” She asks and watches as his face lights up. His eyes brighten and a huge smile appears on his face.

“Really?” His voice is full of excitement and she smiles as she nods.

“Yeah, I think so.” He immediately wraps her in a hug and she melts into it.

“I missed you, honey.” He says and she smiles as she responds.

“I missed you too, Haz.” He squeezes her tighter, as if he wants to remember the feeling of her body pressed against his.

“Those three months without you were absolutely horrible. I want to apologize again for leading you on unintentionally, but these three months have shown me something.” He says as he pulls away.

She stares at him confused, he’s already apologized numerous times so she’s not sure what else needs to be said.

“What’s that?” She asks and he smiles.

“I can’t imagine a life without you by my side. I missed you so much and hated not being able to just come over and talk to you. I like you. I’m sorry for not realizing it sooner and I know it’s a terrible time to say it now that you’re back in my life. It’s perfectly okay if you don’t feel the same way anymore, but if you do I’d love to ask you out and take you out properly.” He says and she almost wants to scream.

She spent so much time getting over him and now he just wants to spring his feelings on her now? She thinks the whole situation is absolutely absurd and the two of them have terrible timing of their feelings. She sighs tiredly as she stares at him.

“When did you figure this out, you dummy?” She asks and he shakes his head, as if he’s in disbelief.

“Uh like a month and a half ago, I think? I’m not quite sure when exactly it happened. All I know I spent my whole relationship with Liz comparing her to you and I missed you entirely too much to ever risk losing you again. The whole like high school years up until three months ago, we acted like a couple unknowingly. I know we just labeled it best friends, but normal best friends don’t act like we did. I’m sorry once again,” Harry says as he watches her in hopes he’ll be able to read her.

She just smiles softly at him, her eyes so full of emotions that it’s hard to read which ones are in them.

“You better be glad my feelings for you didn’t go away completely. Yes you can take me out, Harry. It’s okay, I’ve missed you too.” She says and immediately his hands make his way to her face and he slowly begins to move closer. He wants to allow her time to say no, to change her mind but it never comes and he smiles briefly before their lips meet in a soft tender kiss. A kiss so full of love and warmth, making up for all the years missed and tears she cried unknowingly. It fills both of them with happiness as she giggles into the kiss and pulls away.

“Does that mean I can call you my boyfriend now?” She asks and he nods.

“Baby, you can call me anything you want now,” He says and she laughs, a mischievous flickers passes through her eyes.

“Even my best friend?” He immediately shakes his head and laughs.

“Anything but that.”

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry edward styles #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles fan fic #harry styles au #harry styles fanfic #harry #harrystyles #harry styles oneshot #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #best friend!harry #my writing

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stuckinthesun · 11 months

Text

Reincarnation

Levi Ackerman x Reader

Series Masterlist

S4 part 3 spoilers & slight manga spoilers

“Please try to stay safe, I can’t lose you too.”

That was the last thing Levi said to you before the squad jumped out the plane, diving head first for Eren.

You needed to stop the rumbling, no matter what.

The fight was brutal and heartbreaking, having to fight Eren wasn’t easy for anyone.

As you flew through the air, weaving through bone, one of the titans trying to stop you had grabbed you from midair, stopping you in your tracks.

You let out a scream as you feel it crushing your ribs in it’s giant fist, causing the to look back at you. They all tried to get to you, tried to save you, but it was too late. Blood poured from your mouth and nose, your breathing stopped, and the titan let go of you, dropping you like trash.

Your body didn’t fall though, no. With impressive speed, a man covered in bandages and scars was quick to catch you.

Levi didn’t have any tears, not yet. Not until the fight was over, and he knew once and for all it wasn’t all for nothing.

Then, he would cry like he was that little boy in the underground again.

—

You woke up screaming.

Sweat soaked your sheets, tears stained your cheeks, and you woke up screaming and kicking. You flailed out of your bed, falling onto the floor with a thud, but you barely registered it because you couldn’t breathe.

Was that real? Was that a lucid dream? What was that?

Flash’s of green cloaks and gray eyes and blood, so much blood, keep playing in your mind’s eyes, making your panic worsen, that you didn’t notice someone come into your room.

Not until they tried to touch you.

The hand on your shoulder had you jerking, whipping around and reaching for a weapon that wasn’t there. What you were met with though had your hands shaking even worse than before.

“S-Sasha?”

“Y/N… do you remember? Do you remember everything from… then… now?” Sasha asked, looking at you tentatively, slowly kneeling down in front of you.

You remember her dying suddenly and you let out a sob, nodding at her, “What’s going on?”

“I’ll explain.”

—

“So, reincarnation?” You sigh, now sitting on the couch in the living room of your shared apartment with Sasha.

You both are in college and, after getting her memories, Sasha made a serious effort to befriend you. Now you both live together.

“Yeah, and it seems you unlock your memories after you die in the previous life.” Sasha said, sitting next to you eating a bowl of cereal despite it being two in the morning.

You let out another deep sigh and run your hands over your face, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.

“It’ll get easier, I promise.” Sasha reassured, “and hey, we have each other.”

Turning to look at her you smile, nodding.

Yeah, at least you have each other.

—

Almost a year later and the nightmares have only just barely stopped. It has gotten easier, but the deep ache of missing him is what is so hard to move on from.

You miss Levi so much, and only having vague memories of him from a life you’d much rather forget, if painful.

One morning you walk into the coffee shop near your apartment building, a routine you’ve picked up from the lack of proper sleep recently. The bell chimes as you open the door and when you look towards the counter, you instantly stop.

Black hair styled in a familiar undercut.

The man’s back is to you, it could just be a coincidence. Undercuts are pretty popular right now so-

“Order for Mr. Ackerman?”

Your heart stops.

“Thank you.” An oh so familiar deep voice says, grabbing the cup from the barista with a polite nod. You couldn’t help but notice the string coming out of the cup, indicating it was tea.

It was him. It was Levi.

He was turning around, he was going to see you and-

“Excuse me.” Levi turned around and barely spared you a glance, just brushed past you and walked out of the shop.

You blinked, and blinked again, feeling your heart slowly shattering.

“Miss?” You heard the person at the counter say but you were already leaving, making a break for your apartment and hoping that Sasha was still there.

You felt tear’s building as you ran, not paying attention to your surroundings. You think you bumped into someone, hearing them yelling at you for spilling their drink, but you kept going.

Sasha was still there when you busted through the door, full panic attack. She immediately pulled you into her arms, asking what happened and telling you to breathe with her.

“It- it was him, I s-saw him!”

“Who? Who did you see?”

“L-Levi.” You finally sobbed, crying full force into her chest as she held you through it, now completely understanding.

You finally saw the man you loved from a lifetime ago, and he didn’t remember you.

#levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman angst #levi x y/n #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x y/n #levi attack on titan #snk levi #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #captain levi #aot x reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman smut #reincarnation stuckinthesun

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mxlti-fand0m-imaginess · 7 months

Text

More Than This // Chad Meeks Martin x Reader x Ethan Landry*

request: none!

prompts: none!

summary: ethan landry is completely and totally hopelessly in love with you. the only problem? you're in a happy relationship with his roommate and best friend, chad.

warnings: language, a shit ton of angst, crying, smut, a wee bit of voyerism, masturbating (m), cumming in pants, yelling, ethan having impure thoughts about reader

word count: 3.1k

a/n: reader is referred to as girlfriend, but there's nothing specifically mentioned about gender other than that. no description of reader, other than being mentioned as shorter than chad. chad and reader are dating. there isn't any relationship going on between reader and ethan. no ghostface au. also this is my first time writing smut in a while so i hope it's alright!

part 2 part 3

I'm broken, do you hear me?

I'm blinded, 'cause you are everything I see

I'm dancing alone, I'm praying

That your heart will just turn around

Ethan frowned as he looked over at you and Chad. The two of you were dancing together with your matching cowboy and cow onesie costumes, and you couldn’t have looked happier. Your arms were wrapped around Chad’s neck and his hands were placed on your waist. Ethan watched as Chad whispered something to you that made you giggle, and he felt his heart ache. He wanted to be the one you danced with, the one to hold you close, the one who would make you laugh.

But you were dating his roommate. And Chad was Ethan’s best friend, he’d never want to hurt him, but all Ethan could think about was you. He could never escape you. Even if he wasn’t thinking about you, you were still there. You and Chad went almost everywhere together, and you were always over at their dorm. Just constantly seeing you and Chad being happy together made Ethan’s pain that much worse.

And as I walk up to your door

My head turns to face the floor

'Cause I can't look you in the eyes and say

Ethan stared at the text he had written to you, his finger hovering over the send button. He kept writing the same message over and over, pouring out his feelings to you, but he could never bring himself to send them. He was too scared. He knew there was no way that you could possibly return his feelings, and telling you how he felt would only set him up for more heartbreak. You were with Chad, and you were happy. Who was Ethan to get in the way of that?

And besides, he couldn’t do that to Chad. Sometimes Ethan felt that Chad was the only friend he had, he didn’t want to risk losing him over his stupid infatuation with you. Ethan sighed, deleting the text and shutting his phone. He huffed, leaning back against the pillows on his bed, deciding to wallow in self pity instead of fucking everything up by confessing.

When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight

It just won't feel right

'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah

Ethan heard the door to his dorm open and shut, giggling and whispers following the noise. Great. You and Chad were back from your date. It was nights like these that Ethan couldn’t be more grateful that his dorm had separate bedrooms. At least he wasn’t forced to see you and Chad being all lovey dovey, that would just feel like the two of them rubbing salt in his never healing wound.

The door to Chad’s bedroom was flung open, and Ethan heard you laugh again. He smiled slightly to himself, the beautiful noise cheering him up a bit. But that newfound happiness was short lived, because he knew what came next. Walking over to his desk, Ethan searched for his noise canceling headphones, but they were nowhere to be found. He cursed to himself when he remembered he had lent them to Anika so she could focus better while trying to study. Just great. Now he had nothing to block out the sounds of you and Chad. This was going to be a long night.

When he lays you down, I might just die inside

It just don't feel right

'Cause I can love you more than this

Can love you more than this

Ethan laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling, willing himself to fall asleep. Unfortunately, he was still wide awake. He didn’t even know how long it’s been, but you and Chad were still going at it like rabbits. Chad’s headboard continually slammed against the wall, the banging ruining any chance Ethan had of sleeping. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part about Ethan’s current situation was you.

The walls in their dorm were incredibly thin, allowing for sounds to be heard from the other side easily. Ethan could hear you moaning out Chad’s name over and over again, along with your other whines and whimpers. It was all Ethan could focus on. You sounded so… hot. Usually he had his noise canceling headphones on, blocking out all the sounds you and Chad make. But now that he could hear you, he regretted ever using those stupid headphones in the first place.

Before he could even realize what was happening, Ethan was hard. He whimpered softly as he felt his throbbing erection continue to grow each time you moaned. He felt guilty about feeling like this, especially since you were currently fucking his best friend, but his overwhelming need made his guilt almost disappear.

He pulled the blankets off of him, and brought his hand down to his hard on, grinding his palm against it. He whimpered in relief at the feeling, speeding up his movements, practically humping his hand. Was he really doing this? Getting off to his best friend’s girlfriend’s moans? He felt dirty. Perverted. But somehow, that made this all the more exciting.

Ethan continued, grinding his palm down against his clothed cock, while his hips bucked up in tandem. He closed his eyes, imagining that you were the one touching him, and that he was the one getting you to make those incredible noises. Ethan bit his lip, struggling to hold in his moans. He was getting closer and closer. Then, he heard you through the wall.

“Oh, fuck! Fuck, m’ cumming! Fuck…” you trailed off into a high pitched whine.

Ethan opened his eyes when he felt a growing wet spot on his hand. He looked down and saw that he just came in his pants from hearing you finish. Great. Just great. He was supposed to be getting over you. And this was definitely not helping.

If I'm louder, would you see me?

Would you lay down in my arms and rescue me?

'Cause we are the same, you save me

But when you leave, it's gone again

“Hey Ethan!” you said cheerily, sitting down next to him in the cafeteria.

“Hey…” he mumbled, his face flushing red as he looked away from you, the memories of what he had done last night still present in his mind.

You scrunched your face up in confusion when you saw how red Ethan looked. You immediately placed the back of your hand on his forehead, concern present on your face.

“Are you feeling alright? You look really red,” you asked, gently touching his forehead and cheeks to see if he had a fever.

Ethan felt himself blush even harder, the feeling of your hand on his face making his skin tingle and his head spin. He quickly shook his head and pulled away slightly, not wanting to develop another situation because of you.

“No, I’m- I’m fine. Maybe just a little sunburnt is all.”

You pouted. “You really should wear sunscreen, Ethan. It’s not healthy if you don’t.”

Ethan nodded. “Uh, yeah. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Ethan was about to say something else, when Chad approached and sat down next to you, instantly taking your attention away from him. You smiled widely at Chad, pulling him into a hug and kissing his cheek.

“Hi baby! I missed you,” you said, a lovestruck look in your eyes.

Chad smiled back, looking equally infatuated with you. “I missed you too babe.”

Ethan grumbled to himself, the display of affection the two of you shared only making him long for you even more.

And then I see you on the street

In his arms, I get weak

My body fails, I'm on my knees, praying

It was movie night and Sam and Tara’s place, a weekly tradition that Mindy forcefully makes everyone participate in. Ethan sat by himself in a chair next to the couch, while you and Chad were curled up together in the loveseat across from him. Everyone else had piled onto the couch, or the floor in front of it. Mindy grabbed the remote and excitedly started some horror movie that she’s been adamant about making everyone watch. But Ethan could barely bring himself to pay attention.

He kept his gaze on you and Chad, squished close together as Chad buried his face in your neck. You wrapped your arms around him, holding him close and trying to comfort him from the scary images on the screen. Despite how scared your boyfriend was, you couldn’t help but smile at how adorable he looked, your six foot tall boyfriend clinging to his much smaller girlfriend for protection.

Ethan tried to watch the movie, he really did, but all he could think about was how badly he wished it was him that you were holding instead of Chad. No matter what he did, Ethan couldn’t get over you. He had almost given up on trying at this point. He was hopelessly in love with you. And he would just have to deal with that.

When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight

It just won't feel right

'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah

The movie finally ended, and Ethan managed to force himself to pay attention to the second half of the movie. He was definitely confused about the plot, and had absolutely no idea what happened, but at least he stopped staring at you and Chad like some creep.

“Aw, guys look!” Anika said, pointing to the loveseat you and Chad were on.

The two of you had fallen asleep, Chad curled up in your arms. The sight of you and Chad sleeping together so peacefully, so happily, it just made the heartache and longing he felt for you that much worse. Because he knew he would never get to be with you like that. He would never get to be the one to fall asleep in your arms, the one you protected from scary movies, the one you held close. No matter how badly he wished and prayed to be yours, he knew that it would never happen.

Sam stood up from the couch and grabbed a blanket, placing it over you and Chad. She smiled down at the two of you warmly, the sight just so incredibly adorable.

“They’re so cute together,” she said, smiling to herself as she walked back to the couch.

“I know!” Tara added, swooning over how perfect you and Chad looked together. “It’s like they were meant to be.”

When he lays you down, I might just die inside

It just don't feel right

'Cause I can love you more than this

Ethan couldn’t take it anymore, seeing you and Chad sleeping in each others’ arms, hearing all his friends fawn over how cute you and Chad were. It was all too much. He felt his heart shatter and his eyes welled up with tears. He blinked forcefully, trying to stop them from falling.

Ethan stood up, starting to head towards the door. “I think I’m gonna head back to my dorm for the night. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Anika frowned. “You’re not staying? I thought we were all sleeping over here tonight?”

“Yeah, you always stay. What’s going on?” Mindy added.

“Nothing. I just don’t feel like it tonight.”

Quinn furrowed her brows in confusion. “It doesn’t seem like nothing. Is something bothering you?”

Ethan huffed in frustration. “Nothing’s bothering me. Just drop it.”

Before anyone could respond, he was already out the door.

I've never had the words to say

But now I'm asking you to stay

For a little while inside my arms

“Hey, man. Where were you last night? Mindy said you left early and that you seemed all upset about something,” Chad said, sitting down in the desk next to Ethan.

Ethan shook his head. “She’s overreacting. Nothing’s bothering me. I… I just had this paper to work on last night that I forgot about. That’s it,” Ethan replied, hoping his excuse didn’t sound as shitty as he thought it did.

Chad looked skeptical but brushed it off. “Alright. Well, hope you got it done in time then.”

“Thanks,” Ethan said, a forced smile on his face.

Chad looked like he wanted to say something else, but their professor walked in and began talking, gaining Ethan’s attention. Chad wanted to press for more, he felt like there was something Ethan wasn’t telling him. But now probably wouldn’t be the best time, especially since he seemed so tense about whatever it was. Maybe he could get you to ask Ethan about it later. Ethan always seemed so much calmer when you were around.

And as you close your eyes tonight

I pray that you will see the light

That's shining from the stars above

And I say

“Ethan! Hey, wait up!” you shouted, running to catch up to Ethan who was on the other side of the quad.

Ethan’s head perked up when he heard your voice, and he stopped walking, waiting for you to reach him. A few moments later, you stood by Ethan’s side, your hands on your knees and you panted from your jog over. You held up a finger to Ethan, asking him to give you a minute as you caught your breath.

“You alright?” Ethan asked, a smile growing on his face.

You nodded, slowly beginning to breathe normally. “Yep. Just wasn’t prepared to run that much. I’m- I’m fine.” You finally managed to calm your breathing, and smiled at Ethan to prove you were really okay.

“So, why’d you just sprint across the quad? Did you miss me that much, or did you need something?” Ethan asked, laughing to himself slightly.

“Uhm, yeah actually. I needed to talk to you. It’s about last night.”

Ethan’s smile faltered. “What about it?”

“Chad wanted me to ask you about what happened. He told me that you said you forgot about a paper, but I know that’s not true. You’re too insanely organized to forget an assignment. So, what happened? Why’d you bail?”

Ethan shook his head, turning to walk away. “I’m not talking about this right now.”

You huffed and grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to turn around. “Ethan, I’m worried about you. We all are. Just talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I can’t!” Ethan said, his voice slightly louder.

When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight

It just won't feel right

'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah

‘Cause I can love you more than this, yeah

“Why not? I’m here for you Ethan, we all are. Just let me in. I want to help you.”

Ethan turned his head and looked at the ground, not wanting to look into your eyes. If he looked into your eyes right now, he knew his resolve would crumble, and all of the feelings that he’d been holding back would all come spilling out.

“I can’t tell you. You wouldn’t get it. You can’t help me,” Ethan said, his voice growing quieter as he felt your gaze stay trained on him.

You placed your hands on his shoulders, trying to make him look at you again. What was once just a minor concern about whatever happened at the sleepover now grew into a full blown panic. You had never seen Ethan like this. So small, so fragile. He had seemed so put together, having everything under control. But seeing him like this, you couldn’t help but feel your heart break. He looked so sad. So scared. And you hated it.

“Try me. Please. Let me in. Whatever you’re dealing with, you can’t do it on your own. Don’t push me away. I know we aren’t the closest, but I do consider you a friend. And I care about you. So please, just tell me what’s wrong. Don’t let yourself suffer by trying to deal with it all on your own.”

When he lays you down, I might just die inside

It just don't feel right

'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah

“Fine, you want me to tell you?” Ethan said, finally looking into your eyes.

You nodded. “I really want you to.”

Ethan huffed, rubbing his eyes with his fists in frustration. “I- I want to tell you. I really do. But if I say this, I can’t take it back. I don’t want to ruin everything. I don’t want to lose you.”

You frowned, stepping closer to him. “You won’t ruin anything. Just please, tell me. Let me in, Ethan.”

“I’m in love with you, okay?!” Ethan shouted, squeezing his eyes shut, terrified of how you would react.

“What…?” you asked, your eyes wide in shock.

“I’ve loved you since the day I first met you. Which sucks, because you’re with Chad, and I know you don’t feel the same. But I’ve been suffering every single time I see you with him. I wish that was me. I want to be the one that you love. I want to be the one you’re with. And I know it’s wrong, I know I can never have you like that. But- I- I just-,” Ethan trails off, his rambling cut off by his own panic.

And then Ethan does the unthinkable. He kisses you.

When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight

It just won't feel right

'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah

Once he realized what he had done, he pulled away. He was too panicked to realize that you had kissed back. You looked up at Ethan, your eyes wide in shock and confusion. You had no idea what you were feeling, emotions swirling and exploding inside of you. But Ethan interpreted your expression as disgust and hate. He looked at you guiltily, slowly backing away.

“I’m sorry. I- I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know why I- I’m so sorry,” Ethan said, his eyes wide as he took another step backwards.

“Ethan…” you said, your expression softening when you saw how terrified he looked.

“No- I- I shouldn’t have…” Ethan said, turning around and running off, not wanting to have to face you another second.

“Ethan, wait! Ethan…” you called after him, but he didn’t turn around.

“Wait…” you said softly, trailing off when he finally faded from view.

When he lays you down, I might just die inside

It just don't feel right

'Cause I can love you more than this

Can love you more than this

tags: @wenvierismycomfort

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Text

The Lamb & The Serpent

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x sinner fem!reader

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Lucifer being a chaotic mess, mentions of sex, swearing, awkwardness, angst, Lucifers past relationship with Lilith, misunderstandings, all the angst, Lilith being a bit of a bitch, mistakes are made, heartbreak, jealous Lilith, or is she just manipulative, who knows, I do I know.

Please click -> here <- to read on AO3

Lucifer was a mess.

It had been days since Lilith had shown up on his doorstep, acting like it wasn’t a huge deal she was back and looking just as perfect as she had when she had walked out on him all those years ago. Things had gone badly. Admittedly Lucifer hadn’t handled the situation very well, probably making it ten times worse than it should have been. He had never been all that good at dealing with strong emotions though, neither his own nor other peoples. Nor was he any good with highly stressful situations and unfortunately for him, Lilith’s return covered both those things. It probably wouldn’t have gone so badly if you had been at his side keeping him grounded and calm, but he had managed to mess that up as well, potentially ruining one of the two good things he had going in his life.

Lucifer had still been struck dumb, staring at Lilith like the world was ending when you had come down the stairs, all sleep soft and wearing nothing but your matching duck slippers and the shirt he had been wearing the day before. He hadn’t noticed at first, seemingly frozen to the spot but he had seen Lilith’s eyes flick up to something behind him, her smile falling into a frown as she narrowed her eyes. It had been your confused call of “Lucifer?” that finally had him moving, slowly turning his head to look over his shoulder at you. Your eyes franticly moved between the two of them, searching for some kind of explanation and clearly growing more worried when you didn’t get one.

Hindsight was a beautiful thing and as Lucifer looked back on what had happened that day, he wished that he had gone to you then. He wished that he had wrapped you in his arms and sworn he hadn’t known she was coming back. He should have told you then and there that he loved you, that he wanted to spend the rest of forever with you and that there was nothing left between him and Lilith for you to be worried about. He should have done a lot of things, things that would have saved you and him a lot of pain and heartbreak, but he hadn’t and instead Lucifer had gotten to watch as hurt and embarrassment flashed across your face, Lilith’s voice loud and clear as she asked, “really Luci, a sinner?”

You had tugged down the hem of his shirt, your embarrassed blush deepening as you tried to hide the fact you were naked underneath. His shirt wasn’t quite long enough though and all you did was flash them a glimpse of the teeth marks he had left on your neck the night before; still angry and red despite having been done hours ago. Lucifer didn’t know what Lilith had done but your eyes had snapped to her, going wide as you pressed a hand over the marks on your neck. Tears welled up, clinging to your lashes and threatening to fall but you had been quicker, hurriedly insisting that you “should go,” before you had turned away from them, disappearing up the stairs as quickly as you could whilst pulling the back of his shirt down.

He had just stood there, staring at the spot you had been and failing to understand what was going on. This wasn’t how the day was supposed to go. Lucifer had plans, had wanted to spend the day wrapped within your arms and basking in the love and happiness that you inspired within him. Everything was wrong though, that happiness having vanished the moment he opened the door. It was like the last eight years hadn’t happened, Lucifer right back at the beginning of the end for his and Lilith’s relationship. He felt like a hollowed-out shell, mind numb and empty as he continued to exist who no purpose or direction in his life, alone and unwanted. Lucifer knew that wasn’t true though. Things had changed so much since Lilith had left; he had changed. He wasn’t the same sad and broken man he had been, having found a new lease of life with Charlie, the hotel and you. He knew all this and yet that didn’t change a thing, Lucifer was still adrift within the darkness of his mind, trapped in the past and watching his future slip away.

Delicate fingers curled around his wrist, a thumb gently rubbing circles against the delicate skin. Wordlessly Lucifer turned back toward Lilith, eyes fixed on where they were touching. Her fingers were cool, her pail lilac skin in stark contrast against the dark black of his own. Before, when they had still been happy and in love this had meant everything to him. He had craved her touch, lighting up like a star when she so much as brushed a finger against his. After she had left Lucifer had longed for it, dreamed about feeling it one last time and crying when the memory of it had started to fade. He had been a mess to start with, missing her like he had lost a limb, but as the years had passed he had come to terms with it, missing the closeness of another more than her specifically. Now it felt like a band of ice around his wrist, a chain that weighed him down and dragged him back to the past where he desperately didn’t want to be.

It hadn’t felt like they had been stood there that long but the sound of hurried steps on the stairs said otherwise, Lucifer so caught up in his head that you had enough time to get dressed and pack the small bag you had slung over your shoulder. He had turned to look at you, Lilith’s icy cold grip still in place and chasing away his natural heat. Lucifer didn’t feel right, all out of sorts and halfway between loosing control and shutting down completely. Maybe if he had a better grip on his mental state, he would have shaken Lilith off, dropped down to his knees in front of you and begged for you to stay. He didn’t though and when he turned to look at you all he found was resignation and loss, your gaze focused on where he and Lilith touched.

You didn’t even look at him as you walked past, head down and eyes fixed firmly on the floor. Not even when he said your name, sounding just as desperate and lost as he felt. You did stop though, head turned ever so slightly in his direction so you could tell him that “its ok Lucifer, just, we’ll talk later yeah?” You don’t stick around long enough for him to answer, pressing yourself against the wall just to be as far away from Lilith as you can. Without even a glance backwards you disappeared down the street, pulling your hood up as you went to hide your ears. It wasn’t until after you had gone that Lucifer realised that you had still had his shirt on, the slightly rumbled fabric only just visible under your jacket.

It cracked his heart to watch you go, the feeling that he had just lost something important sinking into him like a weight. It’s to much like watching Lilith walk out all those years ago, except this time Lucifer doesn’t want to let you go. Doesn’t want to just stand there and let this happen because he doesn’t want to lose you. Doesn’t want to wake up seven years from now alone and depressed, hating himself for not doing something to keep you by his side. He can’t go through that again, he won’t. Lucifer loves you, more than he thought he would ever be able to love another again. If he could tell you that, if he could make you understand the depths of his devotion to you than maybe you wouldn’t look at him like he had ripped your heart out and trodden on it. Maybe you would say it back to him and Lucifer would get to hold you in his arms again.

He doesn’t even realise his halfway out the door until Lilith’s grip tightens, your name dying on his lips as he snapped his head back to glare at her. He had been halfway through demanding she let go when Lilith had cut him off, her voice gentle and calming as she urged him to “let her go Lucifer. You’ll only make things worse for her if you make a scene out on the street, especially looking like that.” It’s only then that Lucifer really notices his state of dress. Feeling exposed and embarrassed Lucifer had curled in slightly on himself, wrapping his arms around his chest in an attempt to hide his half-undressed state. It was stupid, Lilith had seen him with far less on before but now he felt vulnerable, ashamed of the state he was in. Not because of what he had obviously been doing with you to get in this state but because of Lilith herself. She looked immaculate, not a hair out of place or a single smudge to her makeup. She looked every bit the queen of Hell, stood tall and proud like everyone was beneath her and in that moment Lucifer felt just that, his fears and inadequacies come rushing forward and swallow him whole.

Lilith was right. If he went after you now, he would only make things worse for you. He was good at that, making things worse despite his best intentions. You were clearly hurt, thinking Heaven knows what about him and why Lilith was at his door. You had needed him to reassure you of your place in his life and his feelings towards you, but he had done nothing like the pathetic coward he was. He didn’t deserve you, had known it all along yet he had still pursued you, somehow managing to convince you to give him your time and affection but all it had gotten you was hurt, and it was all his fault. He never wanted to hurt you, never wanted to be the reason you looked so lost and broken and yet here he was. The very reason you had fled his home with tears in your eyes after having given him one of the best nights of his life. Why was he like this? Everything he loved always got twisted around and turned into shit, like his very touch was a plague on all of creation.

So lost in his darkening thoughts, Lucifer didn’t even realise he had been moved away from the door and led into the parlour until Lilith was gently pushing him down onto the couch, her ice-cold hands pressing down on his shoulders until he slumped back into the plush seat. She sunk down next to him, close and yet somehow miles away. They sat in silence for a while, Lucifer trying to keep his tears at bay so he didn’t seem even more pathetic than he already did. He was the first to speak, unable to stand the silence a moment longer. His voice sounded as small and broken as he felt, it nothing more than a whisper as he asked her “why are you here Lilith? Why now?”

As it turned out Charlie was the reason she had come back, having heard about the hotel and the fight with Heaven that their daughter had led. Lilith had been worried and impressed, proud of Charlie for standing up for what she believed was right whilst afraid of how Heaven would retaliate with Adam dead at the hands of a sinner. Lucifer had sat there, listening to Lilith talk about Charlie, the hotel and Hell like she hadn’t been gone for almost eight years, not really paying attention as his mind began to fill with static. It was all just pointless noise to him, Lucifer mindlessly humming and nodding along at what he hoped were all the right points. He felt numb, hollowed out and empty. This morning he had been so happy, full of hope and excitement for the future but now it was all gone, Lucifer unable to drag those feelings back up despite how badly he wanted to.

He wanted to go back to this morning, to the very moment he had opened his eyes and realised you were in his arms. He would do things so much differently. He would have woken you up there and then to tell you how much he loved you, told you of his intentions to make you his queen one day and asked for your permission to scream his devotion to you from his window for all of Hell to hear. He wouldn’t have gone downstairs, definitely wouldn’t have answered the door no matter how loudly or persistently Lilith had knocked. Lucifer would have stayed wrapped up in you, safe in your embrace and completely ignorant of the world beyond his bedroom walls. Maybe then you would still be here with him. Maybe then Lucifer wouldn’t feel like he was already losing you before he even had the chance to truly have you.

Charlie had turned up at the door not even an hour after you had left, eyes wide and full of disbelief as she stared at Lilith like she wasn’t sure if her mother was real or not. Apparently when you had arrived back at the hotel you had run straight into Charlie, barely managing to get out that “your mums back in town,” before you practically ran off in the direction of your room. Charlie hadn’t stopped to think things through, running all the way to Lucifers home to find out if you had been telling the truth.

Not wanting Charlie to see him in such a state, Lucifer had simply waved his hand and he had been stood there in his suit, his hair perfectly quaffed and not a single trace of flour to be found. It hadn’t been till later that Lucifer had realised his rushed gesture had also gotten rid of the melted candles and flower petals from the night before, his heart clenching painfully at the fact that it was all gone. His night of love and passion with you swept away like it was nothing. Like it was something shameful to be hidden away from those closest to him.

It had been easy enough for Lucifer to fake a smile, greeting Charlie with a level of enthusiasm he really couldn’t muster. She had given him a confused and worried look, but it had been easy enough to direct her attention onto Lilith, Charlie eager to fill her mother in on everything she had missed. For hours Lucifer had listened to Charlie talk about everything and anything that had happened in her life since Lilith had left, skipping no detail though she often got ahead of herself and had to backtrack so what she was saying made sense. The whole time Lucifer had said nothing, fake smile still in place as he summoned cake and tea periodically throughout the day. Charlie tried to get him involved but his short one-word answers didn’t really open up the conversation. The only thing that got any sort of reaction from him was the mention of you, Charlie excitedly telling Lilith about how nice you were and how helpful you had been with the hotel, completely oblivious to the fact Lucifer had gone rigid at the mention of your name.

Lilith had seemed worryingly interested in you, shooting Lucifer knowing looks that had him wanting to sink into the sofa and disappear. He felt judged, like Lilith was pulling apart every little thing about him and inspecting it for flaws, weaknesses that could be exploited. He didn’t want her attention on you, didn’t want you to feel the same level of uneasiness he did so he tried to move the conversation on, his laugh clearly fake and not hiding his nerves in the slightest as he insisted that Lilith didn’t want to hear about his personal life. Lilith had easily brushed off his attempts, asking if the “helpful little lamb at the hotel is the same one I found half naked on your stairs this morning? I must say Lucifer she looked quite, ravished. Do you take all the hotel staff home or just this one in particular?” Charlie had blushed at that, falling uncomfortably silent as Lucifer had covered his face with a hand, his cheeks burning red with embarrassment.

He knew what he should say, that he should tell Lilith that it was none of her business because she had been the one to leave him eight years ago and disappear from Hell, even though she insisted she had been down in Gluttony the whole time, witch was one of the biggest lies Lucifer had ever heard and that was saying something. He should tell her that he had moved on, that he loved you and that what she was implying was so wrong it wasn’t in the same universe. Lucifer knew exactly what he should tell Lilith but just like every other time his words failed him and all he could get out was a meek pathetic sounding “she’s nice.” Even Charlie was looking at him like he had gone mad, probably not understanding why he wasn’t gushing about yours and his relationship like he tended to, and Lucifer did want to do that. Wanted to scream his devotion to you from the rooftops but Lilith’s knowing gaze over her teacup had him faltering, not wanting to share any more of his relationship with his ex-wife than already had been.

By the time Charlie was getting ready to leave it was late and Lucifer was exhausted, wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed and hide under his duvet as he finally got the chance to talk to you. That was if you were still awake and if you accepted his call. His plans to grovel for forgiveness were quickly brought to an abrupt end though when Charlie had asked Lilith where she was planning on staying. When Lilith had said she would just go to a hotel Charlie had obviously offered her own, excited to show Lilith everything she had been working on. Lucifer though had panicked at the suggestion, frantically blurting out that she could stay “here! Lilith can uh stay here. In the house. With me. Here’s fine. Yes, it is. No need to go all the way to the hotel when there’s a perfectly fine bed upstairs. NOT my bed. A different one. At the other end of the house. But still here, and not the hotel.” He was rambling, he knew that, but he couldn’t have Lilith going to the hotel. Not when you were there.

Charlie had been reluctant about it all, but Lilith had agreed and soon enough it had just been Lucifer and Lilith stood in the hallway, Charlie having headed back to the hotel with a promise that they would come visit so she could give Lilith the grand tour. It had been awkward, Lucifer feeling like he was trapped in a cage with a wild animal that was sure to attack at just the slightest movement. Lilith had been the one to break the silence, asking about her room and reluctantly Lucifer had led her up the stairs, feeling very much like a man on the way to the gallows as he went straight to her old suites. She had thanked him for letting her stay, even going as far as to tell him that it had been “nice to see you again Luci.” He had mumbled out some sort of reply along the same lines, bidding her good night before quickly heading to his own room.

It looked exactly the same as it had when he had left it that morning, except instead of you in his bed it was just the blanket he had conjured for you, haphazardly thrown across the wrinkled sheets. Lucifer didn’t even bother to get undressed, crawling onto his bed and cuddling the plush blanket to his chest. It still smelt of you, of the night before and the morning after, of all his hopes and dreams for the future he so desperately wanted with you.

He had tried to call you, laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling as he listened to the phone ringing and ringing. It wasn’t until the third time he tried calling that you picked up except it hadn’t been you. Well, not just you. Angel Dusts voice had been the loudest, loudly proclaiming that “I don’t care if he’s the king of this shit hole, I’ll tell him exactly where he can shove his... HEY! Watch where your grabbing,” before the line went dead. Lucifer tries calling back, but it doesn’t connect, and he’s left feeling defeated, the phone falling from his grip as he rolls back over. He could go to the hotel, but he doubts that would end well. He doesn’t want to upset you any more than you clearly already are and there’s always the chance that Angel will try and shoot him on sight. Not that it would do anything more than tickle, but he highly doubted you or Charlie would appreciate him dropping Angel Dust through a portal to the other side of Pentagram City.

Sighing Lucifer curled tighter around the blanket, burying his face into the plush fabric and breathing in the slowly fading smell of you. He clings to it like somehow that will stop you from slipping through his fingers, like if he holds on tight enough you wouldn’t possibly be able to leave him. What if it’s not enough though? He’s hurt you, his failure to act causing you to flee like there was already nothing to keep you here. By giving you time to think is he just making it easier for you to walk away, thinking that he doesn’t care? But if he showed up at the hotel, desperate and close to breaking would you finally see that he just isn’t worth it? Feeling like nothing he could do would be right Lucifer pressed his face deep into the blanket and silently he cried out his frustration and pain, his whole body shaking with every sob and sharp breath.

The next day didn’t go any better, but it didn’t get any worse. He feels exhausted, not having been able to get any sleep the night before as his guilt and self-loathing had gotten the better of him. He truly hated himself for how he had delt with things the day before, feeling that he had not only let you down but himself as well. He needed to fix things, make sure you understood that his behaviour yesterday didn’t have anything to do with any feelings you thought he still might harbour for his ex-wife and everything to do with his delicate mental state and eons worth of feeling like he was incapable of doing anything right. Lilith’s unexpected arrival had taken him back to that and instead of standing his ground Lucifer had crumbled, taking you with him.

He does try and call you again, several times but just like the night before they don’t connect, and Lucifer begins to sink further into himself. He lets his wings drape across him, blocking off the world along with most of the light. He wallows in the darkness, self-pity getting the better of him as he lets every mistake he had ever made since the dawn of time replay in his mind like a greatest hits reel. He spends the day like that, still clinging to the blanket and making himself feel a thousand times worse. No one bothers him, not even Lilith and though he hopes that by some miracle you will come through the door he knows it won’t happen, halfway convinced that this is just another level to his punishment for defying Gods wishes. It seemed fitting that he would be sent someone so perfect he couldn’t help but falling madly in love with them only for them to be snatched from his grasp when he was at his happiness, and it be all his fault.

At some point Lucifer does manage to get some sleep, having cried himself to sleep, to exhausted to keep going. He’s woken up only a few hours later by someone knocking on his door, Lilith’s voice slightly muffled as she calls through the thick wood that she was “going out. Charlote wants to introduce me to her friends and show me this hotel of hers.” Lucifer is up and out of the bed in seconds, practically tripping over his feet and blankets in his desperation to get to the door. He yanks it open, frantically calling out that he’s “coming! To the hotel. I’m coming to the hotel as well.” Lilith’s only a couple of steps down the hall, her surprise quickly morphing into a wicked smile that has Lucifer thinking that he might have made a mistake by being so franticly insistent that he come with her. It’s just, you're at the hotel.

Lucifer missed you, probably an unhealthy amount considering it had only been two days since he had last seen you but that didn’t make it any less true. He wanted to see you and the easiest way to do that would be to go with Lilith to the hotel and if he could function as some sort of buffer between the two of you then that was even better. Lilith’s interest in you had worried him and Lucifer didn’t want her to start interrogating you like you had committed some sort of crime by being with him. More than anything though Lucifer doesn’t want you feeling uncomfortable in your own home, and Lilith being there was sure to leave you feeling uneasy.

It wasn’t just to act as your knight in a white suit though, Lucifer was hopeful that by going to the hotel he would be able to fix whatever damage his actions or lack there of had caused. He wanted to get you alone, preferably before tea and whilst Lilith was off with Charlie having her tour of the hotel. Lucifer would probably be able to bribe Nifty to chase off Angel Dust as well, insuring he would have the time to talk to you and hopefully be able to convince you to give him a second chance. He was terrified that he had already messed things up beyond repair though and that cornering you in the hotel would just get him a slap and a demand to leave you alone. If you did say it was over Lucifer would accept that. Sure, he would be heartbroken, but he didn’t want to cause any more problems for you. But if there was even a glimmer of hope that things weren’t over for the two of you than Lucifer would grasp it with both hands, determined to prove himself to you.

Lilith had made a comment about his dishevelled state, but Lucifer had been to focused on his plan to really register any ill intent behind her words, agreeing that he was “a bit of a mess.” All it took was a snap of his fingers and Lucifer was ready to go, not a single hair out of place and his suit and shirt wrinkle free. Lilith had been watching him, brows furrowed as Lucifer practically bounced down the stairs. He couldn’t help it; he was excited to see you and full of hope once more.

He had opened a portal to the hotel, trying to put as much distance between himself and Lilith as he possibly could just to emphasise that they weren’t actually together even if they arrived together. Lucifer had not been expecting to find the parlour already full, seemingly everyone currently staying at the hotel filling the space. Lucifer had frozen, eyes wide and unsure what to do with the sudden attention, his happy smile faltering. Lilith though had just breezed through the portal, all smiles and kind words as she greeted the sinners excited to see their Queen like she knew them all personally. Lucifer had shuffled in behind her, uncertain and awkward as the portal closed behind him and suddenly feeling out of his depth, having avoided any sort of large gatherings since before Lilith had left.

He had forgotten how much the residents of Hell had flocked to her, hypnotised by her voice and desire to raise Hell up from the cesspit of sin that it was. She truly was beautiful when in her element, glowing with a confidence that Lucifer had always been in awe of. She had always been a magnificent performer though, able to turn a crowd with just a smile and now was no different. Now that he wasn’t so blinded by his infatuation for her, Lucifer could see Lilith’s interactions with the sinners for what they were, a performance designed to draw people in and win them over. That wasn’t to say that she didn’t genuinely care or believe in what she was saying but she just kept a part of herself back, her true self hidden from the masses. No one else seemed to notice, not even Charlie as she excitedly introduced Lilith to Vaggie and the others, practically vibrating as she jumped from one introduction to another, pulling Lilith along behind her as she went.

As the crowd moved Lucifer finally got a glimpse of you, sat at the bar with Angel Dust and looking down at the drink in your hand like your whole world had fallen apart. You had dark circles under your red rimmed eyes, a clear sign that you had been crying. His heart tightened painfully at that, knowing he was the cause and wanting to punch himself for it. Angel leant in, whispering something that had your head snapping up and eyes going wide as you locked your gaze with him.

It was like everything else around him vanished, Lucifers entire world narrowing down to you. It had only been a couple of days, but Lucifer felt like he hadn’t seen you in forever, his heart swelling with longing whilst it cracked with regret and shame. You seemed just as trapped by his gaze as he was yours, his own feelings of longing reflected back at him but instead of regret he found only resignation and acceptance. You offered him a sad shaky smile before looking away and turning your back on him. It felt like an end, like everything Lucifer had wanted was slipping through his fingers like sand. No. That couldn’t happen, he wouldn’t allow it. You couldn’t just give up like that, like what you had shared hadn’t meant enough to you to even try and fight for it. Lucifer was halfway across the still crowded room before he even realised he was moving, trying not to be too aggressive as he pushed sinners out of his way in his haste to get to you.

Lucifer wasn’t quite quick enough though, Charlie making it to you before Lucifer could. She smiled brightly as she introduced you to Lilith, spinning you round and into her side so she could sling her arm over your shoulders in an awkward hug. Your initial shock didn’t last long and in the blink of an eye you were offering Lilith a bright smile, bowing your head slightly as you greeted her with surprisingly genuine politeness. Lucifer got there just in time for Lilith to answer your greeting, her violet eyes dragging over you in obvious appraisal as she told you that “Charlie has told me so much about you.” You and Lucifer both flinch slightly when Lilith says that, making it blindingly obvious that Lucifer hadn’t been the one to bring you up.

You recover from the metaphorical blow first, eyes dull and smile forced as you spoke about how happy you were to be helping Charlie with the hotel and all the hard work she had been putting in to making it work. It’s awkward, and uncomfortable for everyone involved apart from Lilith who doesn’t seem to notice you are looking at something over her shoulder instead of at her, nor that Charlie’s eyes are darting between the three of you or that Lucifer has tugged his hat down slightly, looking pained and embarrassed as he tried to catch your eye to no avail.

He can’t take it anymore, wanting to get you as far away from this train wreck of a situation before it gets any worse. His nervous laughter is loud and awkward when he cuts Lilith off before she has a chance to speak again, franticly trying to turn her in the opposite direction as he asks Charlie “how about that tour huh? Lots to see before Lilly’s got to head home.” He doesn’t realise the mistake he’s made until he sees the gleam in Lilith’s eyes and his stomach drops like the floor has just disappeared out from under him and he’s plummeting down into the unknown darkness below.

Lucifer hadn’t meant to use the old nickname; it just having slipped out in his desperation to get her away from you, but it was worse than just that. So much worse because Lilith had said “It’s lovely to be home again. I really had missed it up here in Pride and being back at the manor with Lucifer again, it’s just like old times.” With every word Lilith said Lucifer could see the light dimming in your eyes, your ears twitching downwards and smile clearly starting to strain. Lucifer tries to tell you that it’s not how it sounds but he can’t even get your name out before Lilith is looping her arm through his and pulling him along as she starts her tour of the hotel, Charlie quick to catch up with Vaggie not far behind. Craning his neck round Lucifer hoped to catch your attention but what he sees is you downing the drink you had been holding before practically slamming the glass down on the bar and quickly making your escape in the opposite direction they were going. Angel Dust is the one that catches Lucifer looking, shooting him a mean glare and using all four hands to flip him off before he goes after you.

Lucifer doesn’t pay attention on the tour, letting Charlie talk and Lilith lead him along by the arm. He’s too busy berating himself to listen to what’s going on let alone take part, mind firmly stuck on you and the dull emptiness you had looked at him with. How could he have been so stupid? He should have realised what him letting Lilith stay at the manor would look like to everyone else and especially you. He had been so desperate to keep her away from you that he hadn’t even stopped to think about the damage it would cause letting her stay with him for Heaven knows how long. Of course it would upset you. He would be angry too if you had an ex-partner move in next door to you at the hotel out of the blue. He really was an idiot. An idiot that was making everything worse just by existing. He really needed to talk to you, get all these mistakes and misunderstandings sorted out before they became too big to fix. He just needed to go find you, hopefully somewhere private where the two of you could be alone and just talk it out though if you wanted to scream, he didn’t think he would begrudge you that, not after how he had acted.

Lucifer had tried to slip away when Charlie had started talking about how she was planning on filling all the empty rooms. He had tried to be as discreet as possible, gently slipping his arm out from under Lilith’s and taking a small half step backwards. That was as far as he had gotten though before Lilith was grabbing hold of his hand and quite literally pulling him into the conversation, turning everyone’s attention on to him as she had asked about his role within the hotel. He had tried to laugh it off, insisting that he was just the financier but then Charlie had started insisting he was more than that, tugging him free of Lilith’s hold and having him lead the tour with her.

Any other time Lucifer would be ecstatic, proud of his little girl and everything she had achieved. Not that he wasn’t proud of her, but he couldn’t help but feel that with every step he took further into the hotel he was losing his chance to make things right with you. She looked so happy though, arm looped through his and smiling brightly as she told Lilith some of the tamer stories she had of the current guests. He couldn’t ruin that by running off, no matter how badly he wanted to. So, Lucifer had stayed, enjoying the time spent with his daughter and trying not to think how every second he spent casually touring the hotel was another second you had to convince yourself that Lucifer wasn’t worth the time you had given him.

It was late once the tour was over, it having taken a lot longer this time round compared to when Lucifer had been the one being shown around. He couldn’t blame Charlie for being excited and wanting to show the place of, but they hadn’t needed to look at every floor, over half of them just the same generic corridor with rows of identical empty rooms. Feeling frustrated and desperate Lucifer had been quick to usher Lilith through the portal, practically shoving her the last few steps before calling out that “I’m going out. Don’t wait up. Bye,” and letting the thing snap closed before she could say anything. Charlie and Vaggie had been shocked at his behaviour, but Lucifer had waved them off as he took off running towards your room. He was a man on a mission, and he wasn’t about to let anyone get in his way. He was going to your room, and he was going to explain everything to you, grovel on his knees for forgiveness if he had to and make it 1000% clear that he was not interested in starting anything with Lilith again. You were the one he wanted, not her.

The problem was you weren’t in your room, Lucifers insistent knocking either going unnoticed or ignored. He had panicked a little then, worry creeping up on him as he tried to think of where else you could be. He had seen you with the spider earlier so maybe you were still with him? It was a bit of a long shot considering how long ago he had seen the two of you together, but Lucifer didn’t really stop to think about that, spinning on his heals and heading down to the bar in search of Angel Dust and hopefully you.

That hope is short lived because when Lucifer skids round the corner he finds the bar practically empty, the only person inside being Husk who was slumped over the bar, halfway through a bottle of presumably cheap booze. Lucifer startled him when he slams down his cane on the bar top, demanding to know if he knew where you were. He wasn’t being very polite, but Lucifer was desperate, feeling like every second that went by was a second he was closer to loosing you entirely. Husk had given him a look that Lucifer could only describe as disappointed, sighing heavily as he told Lucifer that you were “out. Angel Dust and Cherrie decided she needed to let loose after that shit show this morning.” That hurts, Lucifer wincing at the reminder of how awkward things were when he and Lilith had arrived at the hotel that morning. He sinks down onto a barstool, arms wrapping around his head and crushing his hat as he let his head smack against the wooden bar top.

Out. You were out with Angel Dust and that cyclops women doing Heaven knows what and all because he was too much of a wreck to stand up for himself and deal with things the correct way. He could go after you, could demand that Husk tell him exactly what bar or club you had gone to but in the end what would that accomplish? He would make a scene, probably make a fool of himself for all of Hell to see and make things worse for you in the long run. But what other choice did he have? To just sit around at the bar and wallow in self-pity like the pathetic idiot he is, waiting for you to return to the hotel just so he could ambush you as soon as you came through the door? Angel Dust probably wouldn’t let him get within ten feet of you, uncaring that Lucifer was the king of Hell and knowing that he would never hurt the sinner because that would upset Charlie.

He could just leave. Go back home and wait till the morning before trying again. The thought of going back to the manor with Lilith made his stomach turn slightly, not wanting to be trapped in there with her and all the painful memories her presence pulled up from the dark recesses of his mind. It wasn’t just that though. Lucifer got the horrible feeling that if he left without doing anything at all that would be it. There would be no chance to talk and fix things in the morning. These last few months of happiness gone in a flash, leaving Lucifer all alone once more.

Husk doesn’t let him wallow for long, practically slamming a glass of some deep amber looking liquid down in front of him. He doesn’t look happy but that’s normal for him and Lucifer accepts the drink with a mumbled “thank you,” before taking a tentative sip of the smoky liquid. He promptly almost chokes on it when Husk speaks, eyes going wide as he tells Lucifer that he isn’t “one of those bar tenders that listens to your problems and dishes out advice. They're your hang ups and fuck ups not mine, deal with them yourself. That being said, that girl cares a lot about you, and she deserves a helluva lot better than being dumped like hot trash as soon as your ex come back around after up and leaving your sorry ass. So how about you ditch the pity party and actually fix your fuck up whilst you still can because, taking a girls virginity then moving your ex-wife back in the morning after? That’s fucked up even for the King of this shit hole.” Lucifer sits there, eyes wide and grip tight enough on his glass that it starts to crack. Little fractures that spread across the glass like spiderwebs.

Was that really what people thought? That he had been using you as a stand in and that as soon as Lilith had shown up again, he had just abandoned you for her? Was that what you thought? He sees you then, that resigned and accepting look in your eyes as you stare back at him. It’s like you had been expecting this to happen and had come to terms with it long before you had needed to. This whole time had you always been waiting for him to break your heart, expecting him to want nothing else from you other than to be a stand in for his estranged wife? His wedding ring glints in the light, a cruel reminder of his painful past and rapidly disappearing future. He suddenly understands why you had never brought it up, had never asked him to take it off. You had never been expecting him to, accepting that when it came to Lilith she would always be his greatest love and that you would never come close to holding a place like that in his heart.

The glass shatters in Lucifers hand, liquid spilling across the bar top as shards dig painfully into his palm. Vaguely he hears Husk cursing but Lucifers to preoccupied to really hear it. You had it all wrong. Yes, Lucifer had loved Lilith and despite everything they had been through and how her very presence reminded Lucifer of all his short comings a part of him would always care for her. She was the mother of his child, his first love, his first everything and they had eons of happiness together, but it hadn’t been enough to survive the worst of times. Lucifer had moved on, his feelings for Lilith now more like that of a dear old friend then a lover.

Lucifer loved you. Was madly, deeply and irrevocably in love with you. He would bring paradise to Hell just to see you smile. He would pull the very stars from the sky to show you that they paled in comparison to your eyes. He would build you a grand palace if you asked, would fill every room with rare jewels and riches. He would have the very streets of Hell scrubbed and cleaned so you didn’t have to walk amongst the filth and bloodshed. Lucifer would grant your every wish and desire. He would let you sit upon his throne whilst he curled at your feet, head in your lap and content to have your fingers in his hair. He would give you anything including himself, would even cut out his heart and offer it to you on a silver platter if that was what you need from him to truly even begin to understand what you meant to him.

He’s actions had been rash and desperate, clouded over by the past and his own failings. He would make it right though, would fix his fuck up as Husk had so eloquently put it. He was right after all, you deserved better than thinking you were anything less than everything to him. Shaking the glass from his hand Lucifer had stood, nodding his head and thanking him for “the advice,” before turning and heading towards the hotel doors. He ignored the other mans shout from behind him, his mind preoccupied with his forming plan as he started on his walk back to the manor.

That night Lucifer moved out of the manor and into his rooms at the hotel.

Lilith had been waiting for him when he returned to the manor. Though she made it look like she had just been enjoying a glass of wine and a book in the parlour, Lucifer knew she had been just passing time till he came back, probably expecting him to be heartbroken and so in need of comfort that he would just walk back into her arms. Well, she was wrong. Lucifer wasn’t heartbroken, not yet anyway. Clearing his throat Lucifer had stood in the hallway with his head held high and determined gaze fixed on Lilith who had turned slightly to look at him over the back of the sofa. His voice had been clear and steady as he told her that he was “moving out, tonight. I’m going to stay at the hotel for now until another permanent living arrangement can be made. The manor is yours, do with it what you will.”

Lilith had looked a little taken-a-back at his statement, gracefully rising to her feet and trying to dissuade him from his decision as she came round the back of the sofa. Lucifer had stayed firm though, holding a hand up and cutting her off before she could even get close to convincing him to stay. Instead, he was honest with her, his stern determination softening slightly as he explained that he “should have moved out years ago. This place holds to many memories, not all of them good and I have been keeping myself locked away in her for too long. It’s time I let go of the past and moved on with my life and I can’t do that here.” The with you goes unspoken but Lucifer can see the flash of understanding that lights up Lilith’s eyes. She leans back against the sofa, her hands curling around the edge and nails digging in slightly. Neither of them says anything, don’t really even look at each other as they both process what Lucifer had just said.

He hadn’t been planning on saying it but that didn’t make it any less true. Lucifer had been holding onto the past in many ways he hadn’t even realised, not just the ring but the house as well, it still being the exact same as it had been when Lilith had left. Nothing had changed for so long, Lucifers life stagnant even as he clung onto a time long since passed. But things were changing now and for the better. His relationship with Charlie was getting better every day and he was finally starting to take more of an active role as King of Hell, and then there was you. His sweet little lamb who had been the first person in a long time to make him feel like he was enough just as he was. Lucifers life had been good, or at least it had been right up until a couple of days ago, but Lucifer was going to fix it, and this was the first step to doing so.

Lilith was the one to break the silence, finally looking at Lucifer as she asks, “she isn’t just a fling, is she?” He’s not expecting that, eyes wide in his surprise but it fades quickly, Lucifer smiling his first genuine smile in two days. He doesn’t hesitate this time, his voice found as he admits that “no, she isn’t.” Lilith takes it all surprising well, telling him that she’s glad he had found someone who makes him happy and admitting that she had been “rather jealous when I first saw her. You will apologise to her for me won’t you Luci? I wasn’t particularly welcoming, and I would hate for my behaviour to come between the two of you.” Of course, Lucifer assures her that he will, smiling brightly and trying to hide the small thrill he gets at knowing that how happy and in love he had been had made Lilith jealous. Lucifer does laugh though when Lilith asks him if you realise how lucky you are to have Lucifers love and devotion, insisting that he was the lucky one. You could have anyone you wanted but you had chosen Lucifer and that made him the luckiest person in all of Hell.

He and Lilith spend almost an hour talking after that, Lucifer telling her how you two had met and how he had gone about courting you. Lilith seems genuinely interested, laughing at his failed attempts at flirting and even teasing him about his incapability to realise when someone what flirting with him. It’s nice, reminiscent of eons ago when they had still told each other everything, open and honest in a way that they hadn’t been towards the end. It changes nothing about his decision though and before the hour can pass fully Lucifer is excusing himself to go pack, politely declining Lilith’s offer to help. They don’t say goodbye, Lilith offering him a hopeful “see you soon?” that he finds himself repeating back to her. Maybe not tomorrow or the day after but at some point? That would be nice. Maybe even a family dinner, especially considering it would now involve you and Vaggie. He didn’t doubt that it would be awkward to start with, but he had his own hopes that somehow it would all work out in the end.

It doesn’t take him all that long to pack, everything important boxed up and moved to the hotel with a snap of his fingers. It’s not like he had much of importance to take with him anyway. A few trinkets he had picked up over the centuries and things from Charlie’s childhood that had sentimental value. There were photos and paintings that he wanted to keep, like the one of Charlie in her strange gothic phase or the one of her as a baby sat on top of a large rubber duck and smiling brightly as she laughed. There were so many of her at different stages in her life, ones of him and the other sins as well as the few friends he had made down here but there were also ones of him, Lilith and Charlie that he couldn’t bear to part with, the three of them smiling and laughing together that were important and precious memories from his past. He didn’t think you would begrudge him those, but he didn’t want you to think his memories with you were any less important to him. He hoped that one day soon he would be able to place photos of you amongst them, your bright smile and infectious laughter lighting up his walls just like they did to his life.

Eventually all that’s left for him to take are the pyjamas you had gifted him along with his duck slippers and the blanket he had conjured for you. They’re all folded neatly, stacked in a little pile on his bed that he scooped up into his arms and holds close to his chest. He gives the room a once over, eyes lingering on the bed as he recalls how peaceful and content you had looked curled up on the sheets. He’s half tempted to take it with him, the memory of your first time together such a bright spot in his life that he doesn’t want to leave a single piece of it behind. It wasn’t the bed that had made your night together so perfect though and taking it with him would just be impractical. With his mind still full of you he had opened a portal and stepped through into his rooms at the hotel, not feeling even a speck of regret at his decision.

Once the portal is closed Lucifer places the pyjamas and slippers on his bed, fully intending to wear them when he got into it later. For now, he keeps hold of the blanket and makes his way out into the halls, heading towards your room once more. His nock is gentle and steady this time, but his heart is beating just as rapidly as he waits for you to answer. You don’t, clearly not yet back from wherever Angel Dust and Cherrie had taken you. That should worry him slightly, but he trusts you, knows that even angry and hurt the most you will do is have one to many drinks and he trusts Angel to look after you, his own reforming conscience preventing him from letting anything bad happen to you.

He should go but he had come here for a reason, and he didn’t see the harm in leaving the blanket in your room to find when you got back. Maybe you would even find comfort in it, curling up in the plush fabric like he had the night before. Lucifer tried the handle on a whim, not expecting the door to actually open and yet it does, the soft click sounding far too loud in the otherwise quiet corridor. He steps inside quickly, shutting the door behind him and grumbling about you being far too trusting for living in Hell. Lucifer fumbles for the light switch, eventually just giving up when all his fingers find are wall and door frame. Instead, he clicks his fingers, the lights coming on instantly and filling the space in a warm glow.

Lucifer has been in your room before but never alone and never without your permission to be there. He feels like he’s trespassing. Like at any second alarm bells are going to start going off and metal bars will spring up to cover the windows and door, trapping him inside until you finally come back and find him huddled in a corner. He knows that’s not going to happen but that doesn’t stop him from feeling like he’s doing something wrong by being here without you or your permission. Deciding that he had already messed up by coming in here Lucifer quickly marches across the room and places the blanket down on the end of your bed, a quick wave of his hand summoning a white and red rose that smells like candy apples that he gently placed on top of the folded fabric.

He's back out the door within minutes, lights off once more and hiding what he had done. He feel’s giddy and nervous as he makes his way back to his rooms, like a teenager leaving a love note in a crush’s locker. Lucifer is hopeful though, that somehow his offering will have you at his door before the night is over. Either to talk or to throw the blanket in his face, but still at his door none the less. All he needed was that chance. The chance to reach out and hold your hand and tell you he was sorry for the hurt he had caused. The chance to promise you that his heart was yours and offering to give it to you on a silver platter if that was what you needed to know his feelings were true. Whatever you needed from him Lucifer would give it to you willingly, would offer you the universe if it would offer him just a glimpse of your smile once more. Whatever it takes, Lucifer would show you where his love resided and hopefully start to build a future with you at his side. Together again and stronger for it.

So lost in his thoughts Lucifer did not see the violet eyes that watched him from withing the darkest shadows. As he disappeared around the corner the shadows shifted, taking form as they moved closer to the door he had come from. Pail lilac fingers curled around the handle, the door opening just enough for the shadow cloaked figure to slip through into the darkened room, the door closing silently behind it.

@viannasthings @loquacious-libra @misfitgirlwrites @nanamunath @cherry-cola-100 @a-okay-rj

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oddeyecir-cle · 5 months

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✶ ˖ ࣪ 📹 . ぅ

lee donghyuck enemies to lovers fic ideas (all fics are haechan × reader)

haechan who is your rival coworker + secretly deadpool

for the sake of this story, lets assume deadpool does hide his identity. he works at a tech company and is constantly beefing with his coworker that he's lowkey attracted to. and the plot could maybe be something like you accidentally finding out his identity and then using that information to slightly/ kind of/ in a non-toxic way to blackmail him. eg: making him run errands for you, asking to tag along on his quests as deadpool. then the pair gets closer through all the time they spend together etc etc.

✶ note : hyuck HAS to be the sassiest, funniest, most sarcastic, cocky human being ever. also include some spidermark maybe

haechan as the prince of the neighbouring kingdom

historical au. very basic ik but hear me out. your kingdom's glory and power is gradually draining and it's threatened by multiple rivaling kingdoms. that is when your mother, the queen, tells you there is no choice but to turn to hyuck's kingdom for help. you hate the idea but you know everyone's counting on you so you go through with it anyways. (this is historical so there could be a very cool scene of the reader riding on a horse in battle armour to neighbouring kingdom's palace themself but whatever). they're good, kind people so they agree to help you. they send over a part of their military along with some weapons and of course haechan himself, their most prized possession who, like you, is skilled with a sword and is a wise leader. there's lots of quarrels between the both of you when it comes to the topic of which one has more power over the other and about who should be leading the troops. but you soon put your animosity aside when you realize that you have to work as a team to win. (insert dramatic battle sequence with swords and arrows flying around. at one point, you and haechan lock eyes and suddenly he drops to the ground. the world starts to blur around you when you realize he's been stabbed in his back. you frantically rush to his aid but he falls limp in your arms. its now upto the writer to kill him there itself and end the story. very angsty, i love. or they could also save him somehow and give main characters the happy ending they deserve).

✶ note : sloooooowwwww buuuurn. i mean this should be a long ass series with 7k+ words per chapter. should be so heavy on the angst and the hate that it makes you wonder if they do actually end up loving each other in the end. please include sword fighting scenes with sexual tension i beg you. (im big on bollywood, can u tell).

haechan as a stranger/ tour guide you meet on a family trip

you've just gotten out of a 3 year long relationship after your boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend. things get worse when your family, unaware of your breakup, forces you on a 2 week trip to *insert cute, small country" . here you meet the annoying, sarcastic, a-little-too-happy-for-his-own-good donghyuck. he is with the group your family is touring with (him being the tour guide is a pretty cute plot too but it could kind of complicate things later) and instantly wins everyone over with his charm, except you of course. in classic hyuck fashion, he tries to keep getting your attention and eventually succeeds. his company helps ease the pain of the heartbreak he didn't even know about. its bittersweet when it's time to part ways. you realise after you come back to your college dorm that you never exchanged phone numbers and you fail to find him on social media as well. but fate has strange ways of bringing people together. which is why you cant stop smiling when crash into a certain someone during a regular grocery run.

✶ note : more on the fluff and less on the angst for this one. and maybe a dash of slice of life as well.

haechan as captain of the football team.

there is no actual plot for this other than the fact that you're a cheerleader and also his academic rival (there is no trope i love more than this). my vision for this is very 2000s romcom. ik this isn't a lot to work with but there could be some sub trope like fake dating mostly.

✶ note: nothing much just make it cute

+i have a few more ideas, will probably make a part 2

++if in the future, by some miracle, people do find these interesting enough to use, please dont forget to credit me!!

156 notes · View notes

ponderingmoonlight · 7 months

Note

Hear me out: reader being Yu Haibara's little sister, always crushing on Nanami. After the death of her big bro he's there for her. Thank you for your writing!

This made me tear up the entire fic! I really hope you enjoy it <3

Whisper of the Death

Pairing: Nanami x fem!reader (Haibara's sister)

Word Count: 3,8k

Synopsis: With your character of pure gold, it isn't hard for Nanami to fall for you despite the fact that you are the little sister of his best friend. However, your world is turned upside down after both men return from their last mission...

Warnings: death, complete heartbreak, extreme hurt but comfort at the end, fluff over fluff

“Come on Yu, you can’t forbid me to come with you!”, you insist, hands clenched into fists.

“I get that you want to help people, I always admire you for caring about others. But this…This is something completely different, (y/n). It’s dangerous, you could die. Curses are no joke. Of course I can’t force you to stay home, but I’m begging you to hear me out.”

You’ve never seen him like this. The way his dark brown eyes look down at you with nothing but seriousness and pain simply takes your breath away. The moment your big brother realized that you are able to see curses too and worse, that even Jujutsu High seems to realize how much potential you hold, he began to protect you at any cost. But this is something you want so badly that for once, you can’t talk it out with him.

“Yu.”

You take his big hands into yours.

“I will go to Jujutsu High with you together. I’m sorry but this time, I have to do something for me. I just feel that this is my destiny.”

He embraces you in a tight hug, your tears staining his white shirt.

“I will never stop looking after you. Even at Jujutsu High, I’m your big brother, okay?”, he murmurs.

“And I’ll be your little sister all the way.”

He always admired the way you carried yourself. Despite being nothing more than Yu Haibara’s little sister to anyone, besides everyone around you being so damn strong, you made it look so easy. The bright smile seems to be plastered on your face, your light mood brightens up everyone’s day on a regular basis. Sometimes it scares him a little how much you look like Yu and how perfectly his optimistic personality matches yours.

“You’re staring a little too hard, Nanami-san”, Gojo teases him out of his trance.

Damn, caught again. Nanami Kento never intended to crush on his friends little sister, but you are so much more than that. The sunshine to his rain, the stars to his night, the thunder to his lighting. How can anyone spend time with you and not hopelessly fall in love with you?

“Kento, I searched everywhere for you!”, you yell, hand waving frantically to make him look at you.

“Maybe I just don’t wanna be found by you, (y/n).”

“You’re always so funny”, you giggle.

“Hi guys, how are you doing?”, you greet Gojo, Geto and Nanami, your heart beating a little faster when catching a glimpse of the blondes face.

Kento, you and your big brother are the only students of first class this year. And while it seems like Yu and him grew close for Kento's standards, you’re always a little left out. Of course you get along perfectly fine with all of them, but Kento seemed so distant as soon as you enter the frame for a few months now, making you wonder what you did to upset him. Especially given the fact that your heart begins to frantically hammer against your ribcage as soon as you see or hear him, the sheer thought alone making your dopamine levels rise to the roof. There’s just something about him. Something that fuels the urge in you to get closer to him, to maybe even hug him. His strong arms sure feel good wrapped around you…

“You’re daydreaming again, (y/n)”, the so familiar voice of your big brother rings in your ear.

You smile widely, gaze finding him along Shoko’s side. He went on a mission a few days ago, not knowing when he’ll be able to return. Seeing him well and breathing makes you instinctively run up to him and forget Nanami for a second.

“You’re back!”, you breathe out, pressing your face into his chest tightly.

God, you missed him so badly, a part of you always dies when he’s out on a mission without Nanami or you. Even though you didn’t follow his advice back then, you constantly remind yourself of the fact that being a jujutsu sorcerer is tough and deadly.

“You know I’m always coming back to you. How you’ve been, (y/n)? And most importantly, did you leave a piece of cake for me like you promised?”

“I even saved two”, you announce proudly while chuckling.

God, how is Nanami supposed to not imagine you in his very own arms instead of Yu’s when your voice is dripping in honey, putting a smile on everyone else’s faces around you? Why do you have to be so sugary sweet, so innocent and delightful?

“Haibara, mission report. Kento and small Haibara, training session. Now.”

The harsh voice of Masamichi Yage rips him out of his fantasies immediately.

“Yes Sir!”, you speak out in firm voice, already on your way to the training ground when you suddenly turn around and look at him.

“Aren’t you coming with me, Kento?”

“If I have to…”, he grumbles.

What a lie. The thought of being skin to skin with you runs shivers down his spine immediately, excitement eating him up from the inside while his eyes are as cold as usual.

“You know, I’m actually really glad that I and Yu met you. You seem like a good friend for him and I…I just love spending time with you…”

“You do?”, he responses way too quickly.

“Sure! You’re my classmate and probably the best friend of my big brother! How could I not care about you? Also, you’re not as bad as you want to make the world believe you are.”

There you stand, a wide grin plastered on your face while you brush against his forearm gently. Oh, that lovely smile. Will it ever waver?

______________________________________________________________

Your heart almost beats out of your chest as you run to the hospital wing of Jujutsu High, feet carrying you as fast as possible. You heard rumors about Yu and Nanami returning from their mission, that everything went wrong and something bad has happened. This has to be a bad joke, right? Yu always talked about a grade 2 curse, an easy task for him and Nanami together. What should have gone wrong?

“Geto-senpai!”, you cry out, sprinting towards the door at horrendous speed.

The way Geto instantly goes pale when seeing you makes your stomach drop.

“Do you know where I can find Yu and Kento? I heard they returned from their mission.”

You can’t catch your breath, the world around you begins to spin. Please let everything be okay, let it be no more than a small injury-

“What are you doing here, (y/n)?”, he breathes out.

“Somebody said that…that they’re here. C-Can you show me?”

You never stuttered in your entire life, never lost at words. But one look into Geto’s eyes is enough to shatter your optimistic and joyful façade.

“(y/n).”

As if in trance, you push past him through the cold corridors. This has to be a joke, right? A bad dream, maybe. Or something hilarious happened and Kento is too ashamed to see you at the moment. Yeah, it has to be something ridiculous, something you’ll laugh about for weeks.

“(y/n), why are you here?”

Shoko’s voice sounds so dry and empty that you widen your glossy doe eyes in surprise.

“Someone told me that Kento and Yu are here. Why are y’all acting so strange? I’m just here to bring them some muffins.”

You peek through the small windows of the doors until you finally make out the blonde hair you know so well.

“Oh, there he is! See you later, Shoko!”

You smile widely as you open the door. Thank god, Kento is alive. They have to be fine, right?

“No, (y/n), wait!”, Shoko cries after you.

As soon as your gaze wanders to Kento's figure, your smile fades away in the wind. God, he looks terrible. Scratches cover his whole body, uniform ripped open in a few spots. Although is eyes are covered by a small towel, you can clearly see how worn out he is. An ugly feeling crawls up your veins.

“My god, what happened to you, Kento? Are you feeling alright?”

You don’t hesitate. Immediately, you are by his side, hands gently brushing over his shoulders and arms.

“(y/n), what the hell are you doing here?”

His damp voice sounds so aggressive that you flinch, hands stopping on his shoulders.

“I came to meet you and Yu. I even brought you some self-made muffins, the ones you like the mo-“

“(y/n).”

You swallow hard, a big lump building up inside your throat when it hits you. Yu isn’t here, you haven’t seen him yet.

“Where’s Yu?”

Your question hangs in the air, unanswered by the man in front of you who drops his arms to his sides defeated. Suddenly, you feel hot and cold at the same time, hands trembling against his broad shoulders.

“Where’s Yu, Kento?”, your demanding voice grows stronger, grip around his shoulders tightening with every passing second.

“Don’t make it so damn hard for me, (y/n)”, he yells at you so harshly that the towel falls off his face onto the ground.

“That was a local deity. This wasn’t a grade two curse, that was a grade 1. We did what we could.”

“No”, you murmur, repetitive shaking your head while tears stream down your face.

“But Yu…He didn’t make it, (y/n). He’s dead”, he cries out in frustration.

Your mind goes blank, body on the brink of giving in under your own immense weight. This has to be a bad joke, a misunderstanding.

“Even at Jujutsu High, I’m your big brother, okay?”

“Curses are no joke.”

“You could die, (y/n).”

A soft whimper escapes your lips, body now shivering uncontrollably as you still hold onto Nanami’s shoulder for what feels like dear life.

“Please tell me you’re joking, this has to be a bad dream, right?”

“God, how much I wished it was. I should tell you that you’ll always be his little sister and that you should take care of yourself. He’ll watch after you…”

Your heart completely shatters while all Nanami is able to do is staring at your glossy eyes. Why? Why on earth did Yu have to die and leave you like this? It’s him who should have get killed. This way, you’d at least have your beloved brother by your side.

“It should have been me”, he mutters, gaze wandering to the ceiling to stop himself from getting emotional all over again.

“No, please. I’m begging you to never say something like that again! Yu always knew about the risk of being a jujutsu sorcerer, that’s why he lived his life full of joy and love. Losing you would not only have broken his heart, but mine too”, you croak.

“I’m so sorry that I wasn’t able to save him, (y/n). If I could turn back time, I’d-“

“Don’t blame yourself, Nanami. Thank you for staying on his side until the very end, I’m sure you helped him to let go properly.”

“Is it okay if I…say goodbye?”

God, Nanami would buy the entire earth if it meant that you’ll be whole again, that it wasn’t your big brother on the autopsy table in the middle of this cursed room. But your kneeling in front of him, hands clenching his shoulder while a tsunami of grief rolls over you which he cannot stop.

“Of course you can, (y/n). He’s right here.”

His voice breaks, the way you gaze wanders into the middle of the room eats him up alive.

Your trembling figure drags itself to the table where your big brother is lying, body completely covered with a cloth. Maybe, just maybe you won’t be greeted by his prominent features but by a stranger instead. Maybe this isn’t more than a bad dream or distasteful joke.

But the second you pull the white sheets down, the last spark of hope inside you dies. Even though his eyes are close, you can tell by one glimpse that they’d shine like melted chocolate. He looks so peaceful, almost as if he’s only sleeping. But even in his dreams, a small smile still decorated his features.

Not right now though. His lovely face is covered in bruises and cuts, a trail of blood leaving his slack mouth. But what makes it hard for you to breathe is the huge stain of blood that discolored the white sheet above his abdomen crimson. You feel like throwing up and fainting all at once, whole world spinning. He must have suffered so much in his last moments.

Nanami is there just in time before your knees hit the cold hard ground underneath. This is too much, way too much to bear. A few minutes ago, you thought about giving him the smaller muffin and now…And now you want nothing more than to give him every muffing you have.

“He had his whole life ahead of him…He, he promised me to show me the world. I just thought we’d have more…time”, you sob, hands holding onto his.

But they don’t spread the warmth they normally do. No, they are stone cold, so cold that you are painfully aware of the fact that he’ll never hold you in his inviting arms again, that his big hands won’t connect with yours once more.

Yu is gone. And you are left full of sorrow and grief.

“I’m so sorry, (y/n). I’m so, so sorry…”

You can’t let your head hang like this though. After all, Nanami had to suffer through all of this in person. He must feel so low, so devastated by the death of his best friend.

“No, please. I am the one who should be sorry. You had to go through all of this, your injured yourself. You need to rest for now, Kento. I would be happy to accompany you to your dorm.”

You wipe the tears off your face with the back of your hand and slowly sit up, your burning gaze meeting the wet orbs of Nanami Kento.

Yu wouldn’t have wanted both of you to feel this way. And even though it hurts like hell, even though you feel like dying from the inside yourself, you gift Nanami with the most breathtaking smile you can bear.

“We’ll get through this together, right?”, you question.

“Right…”

______________________________________________________________

“Nanami, come closer.”

His eyes are widen in pure horror. This doesn’t look good, not at all. At this point Nanami isn’t even sure if Shoko is able to fix Yu up again. Fuck, this was supposed to be a grade 2 curse, a fucking grade 2. But this has to be a grade 1 at least – way too strong for two first class students of Jujutsu High.

Nanami should have moved faster, should have protected Yu better, but it all happened so fast. Within the blink of an eye, a gaping hole was ripped into his abdomen.

“You need to get up, we need to get you he-“

“No one is able to save me, my friend”, Yu coughs out.

“Promise me that you’ll life with your head up high and that you’ll try a little optimism from time to time. But most importantly…Please, make your move, go and ask (y/n) out. I’ve seen the way you both look at each other and she deserves to find her true love. You have my blessing.”

Nanami’s eyes begin to water before he is able to stop himself. This can’t be reality, just an hour ago, Yu talked about the muffins you baked him. And now…now he’s speaking out his last words?

“Tell her that she’ll always be my little sister and that she has to take care of herself. I’ll watch over here from where I am. I will die with her cute little laughter in my mind. Please, make her happy. Don’t take my death so hard. I-“

His chocolate brown eyes go somewhere Nanami can’t follow. Just seconds before Gojo arrives on the battlefield. Just seconds before Nanami processed the meaning of his friend’s words.

His eyes snap open in horror, whole body covered in ice cold sweat while his panting fills the dark room with dreadfulness. Where is Yu? Where the hell is he? His heart sinks in his chest. Oh right, he’s back at Jujutsu High in his dorm. You brought him here. You…

Are you feeling alright? Nanami was so worn out after the fight that he collapsed onto his bed immediately, swallowed and chased by nightmares right away. But what about you? His bad conscience forces him to stand up, leave his room and knock on your door.

To his surprise, you open it immediately. But your sight eats him up alive. He can tell that you haven’t slept an hour and probably cried the whole night, your body covered by nothing but an oversized white shirt that looks like the one Yu used to wear.

“I know I said I don’t want to bother you but…Would you mind giving me a hug?”, you breathe out, your voice so low and damp that Nanami instinctively wraps his arms around you.

He presses your body against his own tightly to keep both of you from falling apart. His legs move forwards so that he stands in your room, door closed behind him. Your silent sobs are the only sound that fills the room.

“I thought I was stronger than that. But it seems like I’m not”, you whimper against his chest.

“You don’t have to be strong right now, (y/n). Not after you lost someone this important. Nobody expects you to be strong at the moment.”

“I know he’d hate to see me like that, he would tell me over and over that he’s not worth crying over, but I can’t help it. I just…miss him so much already, Nanami. You are my only ray of sunshine…”

His hand strokes through your soft hair gently. Oh, if he could shoulder your pain he definitely would, he would switch places with Yu in a heartbeat. But he can’t.

“I am party responsible for what happened. Stop praising me.”

“Don’t you dare to say something like that ever again.”

You free yourself from his grip, glistering eyes looking up at his. Even though the moonlight tells you that he didn’t sleep well that night, you are completely mesmerized by the way they shine. He is so breathtakingly attractive. And this stunning man his holding you in his arms, even if it’s only to comfort you.

“I am beyond glad that you are here and alive. I don’t know what I’d do if you died. You are my best friend, the lo-“

You almost choke on the words that threatened to leave your mouth. What has gotten into you? Are you out of your mind? Nanami came here to make sure you are well and not to hear your stupid confession. What would Yu think about that? Your gut twists uncomfortably, you feel like throwing up. Are you seriously trying to seduce your brother’s best friend just a few hours after learning about his death?

“I love you, (y/n)”, he suddenly blurts out.

“I promised Yu to finally confess my feelings to you and I can’t hold back any longer. I’ve loved you since you first stepped into Jujutsu High, I loved you the second you gifted me that breathtaking smile of yours, I loved you all the way into this room. (y/n), you do things to me I fail to understand and even if you don’t feel the same way, I had to get this weight off my chest.”

You can’t believe your ears, eyes widen in shock while you stare at him through the moonlight. For months, you’ve been wondering what’s wrong, what you did to make him go to distance while you longed for his attention. Did he love you all this time?

“I love you too.”

Your hands wrap around his neck automatically, gaze never leaving is unusual soft eyes.

“I loved you this whole time, Kento.”

And then he kisses you so passionately that it takes your breath away, all the grief and sorrow of the last hours mixing with this striking sensation making your eyes water all over again. This is what you want. Kento is the man who’ll make you happy, you just know it. If Yu was aware of that too? Did he know about the feelings you have for his best friend? You smile into the kiss, hands holding onto Kento's shoulders tightly. Of course he did. And the fact that he didn’t lose a word over it means that he supported your choice all the way till the end.

Because even though he isn’t physically there anymore, Yu will always be your big brother. And you will stay his little sister until your time comes. On the side of the man who took your breath away, the man that smiles down at you so softly that your life feels whole again for the split of a second.

He will never be forgotten.

______________________________________________________________

Bonus:

“There you are, darling”, he purrs and places a small kiss on your forehead.

“So you are first year students? Hi, I’m (y/n). It’s so nice to meet young faces!”, you blabber out, a wide smile decorating your striking features.

“Uh, I can’t believe you are Nanami-san’s wife”, Yuji blurts out.

“Trust me, I’m still trying to process that and it’s been more than 10 years since he pulled her”, Gojo comments.

“Will you two shut up already? (y/n) is here to teach you, Yuji.”

“I would love to help you out!”

Nanami looks at you from the side, a tiny smile on his very own face. In moments like this, he can’t help but get reminded of his best friend. He would have been very proud of you and the strong jujutsu sorcerer you have become. You saved countless lives with your outstanding abilities, never lost your smile even after his passing. And Nanami got to marry you. If Yu would believe that? Probably yes.

“Thank you for sending me your wife, I am eager to learn from her, Nanami-san!”

“Take good care of her, kid. You’re in good hands.”

Again, he places a kiss against your forehead and turns around after one last look into your oh so familiar eyes.

Every turned out great, life went on. But Yu Haibara and the sacrifice he made was not forgotten.

Not in a million years Nanami could forget him.

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8-rae-rae-8 · 3 months

Text

Come back for me CH.3

A fic idea from an anon who I love dearly

Lost word count

Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Game: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (2009), Canon-Typical Violence, Violence, Blood, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Mild Blood, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Age Regression Little Simon "Ghost" Riley, Age Regression Caregiver John "Soap" MacTavish, Captain John "Soap" MacTavish, rewritten ending of 09, Age Regression/De-Aging, pet regression pet regression pup Gary "Roach" Sanderson, Little Space, Age Regression, Caregiver John Price (Call of Duty), Shepherd is the worst, Gun Violence, Face Slapping, Mocking, Men Crying, Crying, Gaz is dead already remember, i didnt forget him, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

It was just as dreadful for Ghost and Roach to wait so long.

The plane ride back wasn't even the worst part. The way Shepherd watched them like they were vile creatures had both of them on their heels. Well, vigilant but not exactly able to act on anything if it went awry.

Ghost would only sink smaller and smaller into his headspace throughout the plane ride. He occasionally cried. From the pain and seeing Roach hurt so bad.

The two of them ended up cuddled together. Both wounded were checking each other for worse injuries. But there was nothing on either of them that could kill, Roach assessed. Simon was far too gone by then to even understand.

His head was placed on Roach's chest for the plane ride. Ghost tiredly allowed it. He desperately needed to rest.

Rest didn't come. They remained curled up together the entire time. Any time there was turbulence, Roach was the one holding them both still with the netting of the plane walls from where they sat. Simon would only whimper as the wind shook the plane.

To be regressed and injured, in a plane and without Mactavish, was a new experience for Simon. It lasted longer than anyone could've hoped.

It felt purposeful how long it dragged on.

By the time they landed, Soap and Price were already waiting for them on the air strip.

Soap's eyes were slightly puffy, indicating he had cried at least a little. While Price just looked angry and tired.

As soon as Mactavish could, he was inside, gathering up the boys. Simon knew he worked on his muscles just to carry him. But to carry both would be a lot.

A glimmer in Mactavish’s eye told Simon something was going to go down. And that must've been why he was trying to get them out of there.

It took a few tries, but Simon was securely on his left hip while Roach was on the other. Both of the boys leaned onto him, holding tightly.

The second he was in Soap's arms, Simon began to break down. Babbling nonsense into his shirt. He and Roach were whisked away.

Out of vision, but not earshot, Simon heard a gun fire. Then a thud. His body shuddered violently.

“It's okay now, m’ love…” Mactavish muttered to his little one. Though a small smirk was on his face. Revenge. No one would take their little ones without getting a bullet to the head.

“Bubba..!” Simon still cried into his shoulder. Heartbreaking sobs wracking through his body, every little movement hurt. Even though there were no serious injuries on him. The fear was finally making its way out.

“I’ve got you.” Simon heard him whisper. His arms couldn't even reach to hold onto Johnny at all. It hurt too much, those muscles cramping to high heaven from the position he'd been tied in.

The weight to his right was gone, and his head picked up quickly. Where did Roach go? Simon panicked for a moment.

But Price was walking next to them, injured pup in his arms. Careful as he heard almost the whimpers from Roach.

He settled. It was Price… just Price. No bad guys.

“Ye’r safe, Si.” Mactavish promised him, gentle.

Though he knew it was true, he didn't believe it.

He couldn't believe it. After all that. And from the general he was supposed to trust? How could he ever know he was safe again??

The sounds of his breathing picking up caught Johnny's attention again. The side of his face was gently cradled, and Simon looked up into Johnny's eyes. Even though his own filled with tears.

“Bubba will protect ye, I promise, lad.” The tone was soothing, just like the touch.

Simon whimpered. He pushed his face further against his Bubba's hand. Trying to feel him, needing to feel him close like that.

“Bubba…” He babbled, a hand coming to mess with Johnny's gear. Fingers running along the seams and whatnot.

“Bubba's here… we're gonna get ye to my room.” Mactavish promised him. His thumb softly stroked Simon's face in a repetitive motion.

It soothed him. Even after that hell, it got Simon to breathe a little. A lot of work would be needed to get him to actually ease up and sleep though. Not to mention stitches for his leg.

A visit to medical was in order, and so was a bath and lots of cuddles.

So that was the plan, all thought out. Simon even contributed by mumbling ‘bath’ to Mactavish more than five times.

For now, the little one would get every damn thing he wanted.

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #cod mw2 #cod #john soap mactavish #ghostsoap #soapghost #09 soapghost #09 ghost #cod agere #call of duty agere

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endclover · 10 months

Text

Loyalty - Chapter 1

Doublelife!Xisuma x Reader

1,525 words, 8,115 characters

《Loading world》

You spawn into a fresh world, free from sin of mankind.

In the world that you awoke in, it was almost unbelievable that it was soon to be filled with blood and cruelty.

This death game was worse than used to be. Death is even more inevitable now that every player is paired up with someone.

Soulmates shared a life.

Pain and agony, life and happiness. You had to endure whichever of those they go through.

The hardest part of it all was that you have no say in whoever becomes your soulmate.

Your 3 life, all depends on fate.

The first thing you did when you spawn in was to get tools and adventure to find the perfect place to settle and to potentially find your partner.

You arrive at the mountains to find easy to get ores and resources on the surface, there you find a group of people; Grian, Scott, and BigB.

"Oh [reader]'s here" Scott announces.

"Hey everyone! Watcha'll up to?" You wave.

You smile at Scott who gives you a few melons to regenerate your lost hearts, which admittedly was not the doing of your soulmate but rather your own clumsiness.

Behind an amused BigB was Grian, taunting a goat, which made you chuckle a bit.

"Hey Grian! Having fun?" You greet him.

"No, I keep on getting bad horns, I have like 3 of 'em already" he answered, eyes still focused on the goat that's about to charge at him.

Soon enough, the goat ran to attack but banged his head against the wall instead.

"Finally! Let's see if this is want good" the bird said. He picked up the horn and blew it, a loud call resonated across the land.

"Honestly Grian we should spend our time on something more meaningful" sighed Scott.

"This is meaningful!" He argued.

While the two exchanged a few more words, you start crafting up some tools.

"So, found your someone yet?" Scott started.

"Not quite, I am kinda glad with whoever i have though they havent been talking as much damage."

"Safe to say it's not Jim then." you both giggle

"right! Wanna see if we're paired up?" You ask him

With sparkles in your eyes you give him a light hit, and to no surprise you dont receive damage.

"Ah what a bummer." You mumble.

His wish was granted.

A few blocks away from you, a bird was waching. While having your moment with Scott, he was pleading whoever so hard for you to not be with Scott, but rather him.

This was it, he was about to find his soulmate, his other half.

"By any chance [reader], have you been taking alot of damage?" He asked.

"I'd say I've took plenty."

It was hard to hide the smile on his face, and your words only proved his prediction.

"Let's try!" Grian beamed.

He had his hopes up, surely it was him you're meant to be with!

You give Grian a light tap and

...

Nothing.

"Ah." His disappointment reached his voice.

"Well, that's tragic"

You sighed and instead of adding to the upsetting scenario, you opted to comfort him seeing as his wings drooped down.

"Hm, you should cheer up! Not having me as your soulmate probably means you'll get to live a little longer."

"This was heartbreaking."

You chuckle at his joke.

~❁

After a while of adventuring and checking out the surroundings you settle by the jungle near the plains. You set up camp but didnt make it too permanent as theres a huge chance you'd have to move... choosing a very flammable area wasnt the brightest idea.

You make a small hut (better not be a dirt one) and put all your belongings in the chest but keeping all your valuables with you.

It was a cozy little house, a bed, furnace, crafting table and a chest monster was enough for you to call it a home.

~❁

It's been a moment since you last saw sunlight.

Well below the ground you were, in a cramped cave that was crawling with monsters.

But it was well worth it, you thought, as you mine your first vein of diamonds.

You were getting ready to head back up to the surface as you were getting tired of the darkness and constant jumpscares from the countless amounts of mobs you encountered.

You've had a few too many close calls with creepers, hah I wonder how your soulmate is dealing with the constant loss of hearts.

with your goodies ready to be crafted, you start heading back up. However, as annoying as it may be it was dusk when you reached the grassy plains.

It wouldve been the better and more wise decision to let the night go before going back to your house but you were getting impatient and very tired so you decided to make a run for it.

With your nearly broken sword and crappy armour you swiftly dash across the trees in hopes of not encountering any deadly hitches along the way.

But my oh my the world must hate you alot, to your right behind foliage was a skeleton who started shooting at you while behind you was an ever growing hoard of zombies. And of course will be forget that enderman who you swear you never even looked at yet it still after your precious life.

You had no choice but to keep running, despite the weariness of your body you still managed to carry all the resources from your mining trip.

Thankfully your soulmate was better at keeping your heart up, so despite taking constant damage, you keep on regenerating hearts.

As you were praying your partner wouldnt absolutely despise you for losing so much hearts you hear something, or rather someone but it was a bit inaudible.

Dawn was quickly approaching you realized, you grasp your sword and slashed in all and any directions, you really should've crafted up a better sword while you were down there.

You found yourself in quite a predicament, you were in the jungle and every direction you head there seem to be more and more mobs your way.

You regret thinking you can take on zombies, creepers, and a few skeletons with an iron sword.

You clutched your sword that was about to shatter any moment as you walked backwards 'til you could barely move anymore.

Hearts werent regenerating anymore and you were starting to lose hope when you heard a voice.

"Need a hand?" He said.

"Very much." You hastily replied.

"Attack on 3. 1...2-"

"This is a bad idea."

"..3"

Everything right after felt like a blur. It was purely an adrenaline rush, only when a creeper behind you hissed you regained your senses.

You observe as Xisuma swung his sword at the last 2 zombies as they disintegrated into thin air.

He and you both didnt fail to notice the way you simultaneously took damage when the creeper behind you exploded, leaving you on 3 hearts.

After the initial panic you two had over the low hearts, you both started to calm down and feel fatigue after the adrenaline wore off.

He handed you some food and chuckled.

"So it's you huh"

"Yep, its me who you'll be stuck with" you giggled.

"I'll be more than glad to be stuck with you." He teased.

~❁

"So, [reader] where shall we build our home?" Xisuma asked.

You and Xisuma were walking across the map to return to both of your camps to retrive anything of value, and while doing so you conversed with him quite a bit

Seems like you'll get along just fine.

He was your type of guy, kind but still had that bit of sass on him... You'll have to admit he's also kinda cute.

Through your chitchats you explained the reasons you kept on taking damage, including that one time you tried getting a horn of your own but ended up getting hit by the goat and when Pearl tried showing you her new moves with an axe. She's very unhinged.

You had a good laugh about it and he also shared some stories.

Even gossiping about how bdubs and impulse act like a married couple on a honeymoon.

"I'm not sure, maybe somewhere on the north, havent seen any bases there."you replied while struggling to climb the hills.

Xisuma reached his hand out to you and you gladly took it "By the world border, in the corner of the map might be a good idea."

Soon enough, you reach the place you're planning to settle in. It was a quiet area but some people's bases can still be seen from a distance.

Xisuma built a tent out of wool and planks to settle in for the night while you gathered up a few seeds to make a farm.

"I wouldn't say this is a good build but I did just fine." He commented on his own build.

"Looks better than what I can put together on most days."

A/n: well folks this is where this chapter ends. this was a pretty drawn out process, finals is approaching so I dont know when chapter 2 is going to be posted.

After finishing up the temporary tents, X decided it was best if you both interacted with others, to find allies.

On the bright side, I'm about to have lots of free time with school nearing end.

#double life #double life grian #grian life series #x reader #hermitcraft #mcyt #mcytblr #the life series #xisuma #minecraft #xisumavoid #hermitcraft x reader #xisuma void x reader #xisuma x reader

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andvys · 1 year

Text

Love will tear us apart // the mall (prequel)

series masterlist

previos drabbles: the halloween party // the snow ball

request: Please don't consider this if you hate the idea!! But was thinking of a drabble idea where the reader goes to see Steve at Scoops (so like a season 3 flashback) and Eddie either goes in or walks past and sees them and totally gets the wrong idea (as always 🫣) and then reader bumps into Eddie in the mall and as usual he starts off nice but then remembers seeing her leaning over the counter or something and gets jealous.

Eddie didn't visit the mall frequently, he only ever came to go to the record store and usually avoided going into any other stores. The place was too crowded and too loud, it gave him anxiety, so he never stayed longer than necessary.

It was a Tuesday evening when he walked out of the record store with new tapes in his hands. A small smile lingered on his face as he eyed the covers. He saved up enough money to buy not one but two new cassettes.

The sound of your laughter filled his ears and the smile fell from his face the moment he raised his head and his eyes skipped to you.

He didn't mean to walk by this place. He never does. He hates this place.

It’s not like he hates ice cream, he actually loves it, a lot. He just dislikes the person working there, so he usually avoids even walking by this place, in fear that he won't just see him but also you there. Today his feet carried him here before he even registered where he was going.

Now, he was standing there. The cassettes long forgotten.

His eyes were filled with both sadness and jealousy. His jaw was clenched and his chest was filled with hatred, for Steve Harrington, who was caging you against the counter, looking down at you with his annoying smirk.

He took of his stupid hat and ran his hand through his hair before he leaned down to whisper something in your ear, something that made you giggle. Steve leaned back again.

Eddie can only see the back of your head but he knows, you’re smiling up at the older boy and it makes his blood boil. Why? He doesn't know or, he won't admit as to why it makes him this angry.

He watches as Steve raises a spoon to your lips after scooping up some of the strawberry ice cream. Eying your lips as you take the spoon from his hand.

Eddie could crash the cassettes he's holding. He hates everything about this.

The moment Steve leans down and his lips come close to yours, Eddie turns around and rushes away, not wanting to see this any longer. He doesn't even feel the tears burning in his eyes or the pain in his chest, the heartbreak.

He shoved the cassettes into his jacket pockets and leaned against the wall outside, huffing angrily for letting you make him feel this way, once again.

Eddie is angry. He is angry at Steve, at you. But, he’s mostly angry at himself- for ever feeling like he could have a chance with you. So many months had passed but he still felt the heartbreak and the disappointment lingering in his chest.

The moment you two had shared at the snow ball, gave him the slightest hope that maybe, something could happen between the two of you even though it was him, who messed it up in the first place. It was Eddie, who had pushed you away when you had approached him. He, was the asshole who even put the two of you in this weird place.

It was him who pushed you away when you longed for nothing but his friendship. And it was him who kept messing it up the more time had passed by.

He doesn't know why he just didn't apologize for how he treated you the first time you two had ever talked- he just kept making it worse between the two of you, especially now that he was putting his guard up more and more.

After the snow ball, Eddie struggled even more to get you out of his head. He wanted to see you again, he wanted to be around you again, hear your voice and see you smile so after he gave himself some pep talk, he wanted to approach you after winter break, ask you out on a date- take you out for those sundaes you talked about at that halloween party.

But when he finally found the courage and he waited for you in front of the school. The nervous smile on his lips fell when he caught sight of you and Steve, who wrapped his arms around you and you, you laid your head on his chest and stayed in his embrace for a moment before you pulled away and leaned towards him to plant a kiss on his cheek.

Eddie swore that his heart cracked in two when he saw that. He felt stupid for even thinking of asking you out, for even thinking that he had the slightest chance with you. He blinked away his tears and headed back to his van. He skipped school that day and spent the rest of the day sulking in his room, wiping away his angry tears. Did you mock him when you said these things to him at the snow ball? Was it all just a joke to you?

That day, he made a promise to himself. He would never let you play with his feelings, again. As much as it hurt him, as much as he hated it, he had pushed you away more and more. Throwing insults your way and emotionally distancing himself from you to protect his heart. The playful banters turned into more aggressive ones and his teasing words turned into mean and rude ones. He ignored the way you looked at him with those sad eyes of yours. It hurt him even though he would never admit it.

He didn't even know how long he was standing there but just as he pushed himself off the wall again, he turned around, not watching where he was going, he suddenly felt something crash into his chest. He looked down and of course it’s you.

He raised his hands and put them on your arms to steady you.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry! I didn't watch where I was-” you pause your rambling as you look up at him “E-Eddie.” you mumble, nervously “I’m sorry.”

You step away from him, causing his hands to fall from your arms.

His brown eyes are cold, hateful even as he stares at you.

“Watch where you’re going, next time.” he mumbles.

You nod, feeling awkward under his gaze. It’s been weird between the both of you, the past few months. Weirder than usual. Eddie has always been.. distant with you, he always made it clear that he doesn't like you but now it seemed as though he hates you. The things he says to you, the looks he gives you, the energy around him- it’s nothing but hate.

“Right uh..” you mutter under your breath, you look away from him and step away “I'm gonna..”

Eddie doesn't step to the side to let you pass but he watches as you go to walk around him. You walk away from him. The weight of his eyes, heavy on you.

The shivers that run down your spine are not from the wind that picked up or from the rain drops that are paddling down on to the exposed skin on your arms all of the sudden, it’s from the feeling of his eyes on you.

“What’s it like?”

Your brows knitted, you halted in your tracks and turned around slowly. Eyes setting back on him “what?”

His eyes bored into you, he opened his mouth to speak but hesitated for a moment and silence filled the air once again.

You raised your brows and shrugged lightly as you waited for him to say something.

He exhaled, eyes darting back in forth as if he contemplates whether he should say something or not “forget it.” he mumbles before he turns away from you, ready to walk away but this time it’s you who stops him.

“What’s your problem, Eddie?” you ask as you cross your arms over your chest, not even caring about the rain that gets heavier and heavier. Draining your hair and your clothes.

He turns back again, his brown eyes filled with anger.

“What do you mean?” he shrugs, acting like it wasn't him who started this ‘conversation’.

You look at him in disbelief, annoyance growing inside of you. Rolling your eyes, you mumble “forget it.” before you turn around to leave.

“I mean- what is it like being a replacement? Must feel nice to know that someone wants you just because you’re the only one available.” he says coldly.

You let out a surprised chuckle as you turn back to him with a look of disbelief in your eyes. You know exactly what and who he is talking about. The halloween night was still fresh in your mind, the things he said to you never truly left your mind.

“Are you serious right now?” you scoff.

He shrugs, still looking at you with the same cold look in his eyes.

You can't shake the hurt and disappointing feeling off. He is the one you want, he is the one you care about the most- not that he knows any of it but hearing him talk to you this way, knowing how much he hates you and how lowly he thinks of you, hurts you every single time, a little more.

“Why do you keep saying all this awful shit to me? If you don't like me, just ignore my existence. It’s not that fucking hard!” you exclaim, throwing your hands up “and, what is it to you anyways? Whether, I am a replacement or a fucking ‘warm body’, it’s none of your business, Eddie.”

Something flickers in his eyes. Is it regret? Guilt? For calling you all these things? Whatever it is, your words must've sparked something in him.

“Just looking out for you.”

You can’t even stop the laugh of disbelief that left your lips the moment he said those words to you “what?!”

Eddie steps closer to you, he looks at you through his bangs “he isn't the right one for you.”

Steve. You know he’s talking about him and you must've told him that a countless times; you are not with Steve. But, Eddie seemed obsessed with the idea of you and Steve together.

Tilting your head up, you lean closer to him “oh, yeah? Then who is?”

Me. It lays on the tip of his tongue but Eddie isn't about to make a fool of himself. He just shakes his head before he turns around, this time it’s him who wants to walk away.

You sigh, closing your eyes, you mumble “yeah, that’s what I thought.” You know, he heard it but he kept walking nonetheless.

You watch him walk away and you can’t stop the tears that sting in your eyes. You hate this.

“You know, I really thought you were different.”

He halts in his tracks, he turns his head slightly but he doesn't turn around, he just waits for you to continue.

“You hate all these assholes at school because of how they treat you and your friends but you don't realize that you’re doing the exact same to me, Eddie. I wanted to be your friend because I thought you weren't like them. I thought you’d be kind, someone I’d feel safe with, someone i’d want to be around but instead you pushed me away and instead of saying ‘I'm not looking for friends’ you went ahead and made me miserable and you continue to do so!” you pause, wrapping your arms around yourself, you keep staring at the back of his head. You close your eyes and sigh “you’re so.. mean.”

Eddie blinks, his heart is racing in his chest and he feels so horrible and guilty. He can hear the pain in your voice, he’d be an idiot not to. It was so evident in your voice.

To hear you say that he's just like those bullies at school hurts him and it makes him feel disappointed in himself. To know that he hurt someone the way other people hurt him is something he might never forgive himself.

He wants to turn around and apologize but he can’t even bring himself to face you. His hair feels heavy from the rain, the water soaking his clothes already.

Moments go by and neither of you say anything, Eddie’s eyes dart back in forth as he looks at the ground, watching the rain drops splash against the concrete. The only noises filling the silence between the two of you are the cars leaving the parking lot, the rain and the whistling of the wind, a group of kids laughing as they run into the mall.

He knows you’re still there, waiting for him to turn around, waiting for him to say something and as much as his heart is begging him to do, something. He can’t. Without a word, without another glance at you, he leaves and walks away from you.

He leaves you standing in the rain. Cold and shaking- not from the cold rain but from his cold heart.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson angst #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson drabble

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