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#a nerd among heroes
unproduciblesmackdown · 4 months
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further musings with the ability to consider the overarching series wherein it like as ever, questioning how well anything was questioned when in the end it seems like it's going "okay let's look at these people we think are epic" where ultimately of course it's like oh they might also be shitty they might not get the best endings, b/c they couldn't Change....while characters like wendy who ostensibly did get [better endings, b/c you can change] status spent the whole time Not choosing to change, ends up with a foot in both camps w/axe & chuck, like okay watch me assuming she's just off to more of the same. but what mattered was that billions always considered her Epic. rian's not a character and didn't do anything and ended up clearly only another [just some asshole] employee who'd just like to keep showing up for the usual and stepping on & bullying other employees for ego, and the fact that it was completely believable she just committed to sticking with that forever until then it was like oh okay she's supposed to have only just now for some reason decided it's time to leave b/c she's just too nice? like, that is not convincing, i'm sure she's off to more of the same forever too anyways, but yet again the non plan here seems to have been determined by billions' deciding this character is like, ambiently epic. chuck sr gets alleged heartwarming moments (on his terms) b/c damn if he isn't epic at least, like axe and chuck sufficiently are. winston as a consummate cringe loser nerd couldn't ever be written anything in particular besides being crushed, which he deserves, and is so fun. ben kim on the other hand might be billions' specialest little guy who they Don't think deserves being crushed (as much) (and/or we can at least sympathize with him over it) but he doesn't get much of an ending to speak of or muse on b/c if anything his triumphs were about being a little more Epic but in the end maybe he just wasn't quite Epic enough, whether for a better or worse ending. b/c these other characters might end up either way but again if you're really worth talking about on the show at all you do simply have to have been Inherently Epic in the first place, which will no matter what guarantee you an epic consideration and material devoted to you, versus the inherent losers who will get no such thing no matter what. (wags was useless and an asshole but we Needed his involvement and focus and ending that was just fine thanks)
#maggie siff talking about her own character's Not doing shit differently like yeah i hear ya....#winston billions#again like well what did we question exactly lmao#shitty Epic People are still determined to be >>>>>>>>>> any Losers and treated accordingly#rian's presence was us being duly informed she's Epic always no matter what in the middle of her bullying &/or plot devicing#wags' time in s7 was even more of an intrusion than wendy's insistent Hero placement. the most special person in the world#taylor and sacker out here with much more of like; arcs & motivations & choices & ability to successfully do this shit#philip as well and other like not As prominent characters out & about there. he was epic but like did shit & had arcs. imagine#and when i say [billions says ''we think this is epic''] that is them speaking for themselves. even if they assume otherwise#''gosh Why do we think this is epic....when maybe someone sucks actually....idk but it's still more important to be Epic than a Nerd''#lord even knows what's asked like ''what if we valued....being Nice'' like you posited that rian is ''nice'' are you kidding#musing abt your triumphs & strengths & foibles & failings if you're Epic Guy in the first place#but if you're some loser you're not worth thinking about or talking about no matter what goes into Your decisions & motivations or not#clearly We are laughing at you &/or having fun when the Epic parties shit on you. as deserved all around#and again that like flashes of epicness among the nonepic apparently tending to mean [be more aggressive]
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hamliet · 2 months
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Hazbin Hotel Has Better Theology Than Most Modern "Christian" Stories
As a Christian who was raised in a fundie cult and escaped to now have a far healthier and vital faith, I genuinely really like this show. The songs are bops. The characters are well crafted and interesting, and likable too. The art design is bizarre but appealing.
And, as a theology nerd who studied theology as part leaving said cult and also has since gotten papers published in theology, I'm actually fairly impressed by the show's handling of theology.
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No, I'm not expecting the story to preach or even like, be explicitly Christian in a lot of ways. But it's taking a lot of the really beautiful aspects of Christian theology and re-contextualizing them in a way designed to provoke thought: by juxtaposing them with the antithesis of what you would think, by making demons heroes. In my opinion, this makes the beauty shine brighter.
Yeah, yeah, it's designed to be offensive and obscene in a lot of ways. Yet, it's never (thus far) mean-spirited. On the contrary, it seems to have a big, beating heart at its core that is perhaps best embodied by Charlie Morningstar, its protagonist and the daughter of Lucifer and Lilith.
Critique of the Church, with Caveats
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The story works best with an interpretation that heaven isn't actually heaven or God (who has been conspicuously absent), but instead as a critique of the church. Specifically, the evangelical American church, and specifically, white evangelicals. (Same as She-Ra's premise, actually).
God's absence therefore makes sense, because while Christians do believe God is present as a living reality among us, we also can't like, see him physically now. So, God being not even mentioned in HH makes it seem more like a mortal reality rather than an immortal one. Honestly I kinda hope God doesn't appear in the story, not only because I think it could cross some lines (which is admittedly personal), but also because I don't see that the story really needs it.
Adam in particular reminds me of every "theobro" on Twitter (I'm not calling it what you want me to, El*n). Basically a dudebro coopting his supposed salvation to flex in an often misogynistic way, who doesn't realize that he has absolutely no love in him and therefore is actually a worse human being than everyone he condemns on the regular.
(Which is kind of why I'm expecting Adam to wake up in hell next season...)
Think red hats. And Mark Driscoll. And, I have a list of pastors. Sigh. They advocate for how "simple" Christianity is, except they themselves make it ridiculously complicated and don't even examine what they suppose is "simple" if it requires them to take the planks out of their own eyes. "Shallow" is a better description of what they actually preach.
But what sends people to hell or heaven anyways?
Eschatology and Atonement Theory
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Hazbin Hotel combines a lot of theories, throwing not only the idea of a physical hell (albeit mixed with Dante's idea of what hell is the Inferno, but to be fair a lot of the church has adopted that idea too) but the idea of annihilation, which HH calls "extermination."
See, in Christianity, there's a lot of debate about hell. Like, since 2000 years ago. The reason is because a lot of Bible verses seem to indicate hell, but others indicate the eventual redemption and salvation of absolutely everything in the universe, so you have Christian universalism tracing itself back just as long. But, setting aside universalism, people who do believe in hell tend to fall into one of two camps:
Physical hell, aka suffering for eternity, or annihilation: the idea that souls that aren't saved end up annihilated, or snuffed from existence. HH combines both of them, wherein everyone lives in hell but then every so often heaven "exterminates" a certain number of sinners.
And then you also have Catholic purgatory, which is also adapted in HH in that... for most Christians, physical hell doesn't offer the ability to redeem yourself. Chance over, you're dead. But, Catholic Christianity, which draws on ideas of praying for the dead, has the idea that people can improve themselves or be prayed out of it and into heaven. This seems to be somewhat similar to the idea of Charlie's hotel, in that sinners can improve, redeem themselves, and rise to heaven.
And, I mean, it's already kinda worked. Sir Pentious acted out Jesus' words: Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13).
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But anyways, the branch of theology that deals with the afterlife is eschatology. And Hazbin Hotel takes on a related form of theology as well, a type of theology I've only seen covered in stories once before (The House in Fata Morgana): atonement theory.
Atonement theory is something I remember well from my theology 101 class, as in I remember sitting with a friend and her turning to me and being like, "okay, so we know Jesus' death and resurrection give us eternal life, but we have no idea how or why?" To which the answer was "basically, yeah."
Most of the white, American evangelical church is very "penal substitutionary atonement," but the reality is that this theory has only been popular for the past few hundred years. It's also, imo, somewhat scripturally unsound. But there are a lot of other theories, and sometimes the theories overlap. Here's a fairly decent summary. (I'm in general a believer in Christus Victor.)
So how does atonement theory tie into Hazbin Hotel? Well, essentially the scene where Charlie and Vaggie are debating with Emily, Sera, Adam, Lute, and others in heaven is them going over various atonement theories and realizing that they actually know nothing at all. How does one get to heaven? How is one saved? They don't know.
Sera criticizing Emily for asking questions was also very relatable, and I feel for Sera. She's genuinely scared but the truth will set you free, Sera. John 8:32. Anyways, the point is like... the angels are an organized religion, an evangelical church, that preaches about simplicity but mistakes shallowness for simplicity and discourages depth and discovery.
Anyways, the whole crux of theological study and atonement theories is that they should promote humility. We don't know for certain on this side of the curtain. That's okay. So what do we have to guide us?
Love. After all, God is love (1 John 4:8).
Charlie is Jesus
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"Why would you endanger your immortal life for these sinners?" 
Adam, the absolute worst, says the above to Charlie in the finale.
I mean... look. That's literally the premise of Christianity. That the immortal son of God comes down to earth, lives with sinners, loves us, and dies to save us. However that happens. Charlie even responds:
"They're my family!"
In other words, she loves them. Yeah, sure, they're destined for extermination, but they are going to be exterminated over her dead body.
In a lot of branches of Christianity, and even in some creeds--though I'm going to give into my pet peeves here and state that it is NOT Scriptural and relies on the faulty assumption that God is bound by time, when I think God exists outside of it--state that Jesus descended into hell after his death and took all the souls of people who were saved prior to his coming to earth to heaven. Again, I think that's small-minded at best. But, the idea that Charlie is working among them to bring them to heaven is pretty reminiscent of this idea. And I don't hate it lol.
Charlie sees worth inherent in everyone, and no matter what they've done, thinks there's a future for them. Honestly we need people like her on this earth.
Angel Dust
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Angel Dust is clearly my favorite character. Bite back your shock, I know (I have a type). But his name is also a fascinating multi-layered pun.
Angel is clearly foreshadowing his endgame. Let's be real, we all know Angel is ending up as an angel. And "angeldust" is of course a name for PCP, and considering Angel's drug habits, yeah.
But, dust also has another meaning to it. See, when Adam was created in Genesis 2:7, the words in Hebrew are "apar min ha'adamah," which is translated literally as "dust of the ground." So the dust is what creates Adam, literally "ground."
In other words, I very much expect Angel Dust to end up being foiled with Adam even more so. Adam might be the first man, but Angel is the first sinner working towards redemption. And let's be real, for all Angel's flaws, he's already a better person than Adam. And if there's any hope for Adam (not that I particularly care if there is but) it'd be through realizing that he and Angel aren't actually different after all. Conversely (and not necessarily mutually exclusively), Angel might serve as a more symbolic "adam" in that he becomes the person all sinners look to for hope. Which, y'know, since "the last Adam" is also a Scriptural term for Jesus...
And so it is written, “The first man Adam became a living being.” The last Adam became a life-giving spirit. (1 Corinthians 15:45).
I fully expect Angel's arc, alongside Charlie's, to bring life and redemption for everyone around them. Maybe, maybe even the dramatic "all" of Colossians 1:20 (which means, literally, all, everything, everywhere, in the entire universe).
Closing Thoughts
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But honestly, regardless of how the story ends--besides that it will presumably end happily because HH is at its core feel-good despite being profane--season one at least has got good theology. Why? Because it's digging into the questions that theology is concerned with. It's digging into the ideas of human nature, of what it means to be a good person, of what it means to redeem oneself, of affirming how precious each individual human soul is.
It doesn't offer cheap answers, and it specifically calls out the white American evangelical church for how it purports to be simple but actually just confuses people and punishes them for things they can't help, that creates more stumbling blocks than it does shine a light. And it does it in a way that is scandalous. Offensive to many religious people.
But, y'know, Jesus was pretty scandalous too.
So I really love the story so far because it emphasizes what I find so beautiful about my religion, and criticizes the parts that have also hurt me. I don't think it's remotely aiming to be a Christian allegory or anything like that, and I don't at all think anyone has to be religious to enjoy it or gain the core message of it, but I do think that it's doing a hell of a lot more good in the world message-wise than most evangelical movies of the past 30 years.
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ofmermaidstories · 22 days
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Katsuki’s been dreaming about you.
At first, it’s in fragments. Stuff he doesn’t remember after waking up, or can otherwise shrug off as a product of his brain, cartwheeling around with the day’s information. It’s your face, frowning in concentration, or you saying something disjointed from the rest of the conversation (No, you tell him, faintly annoyed. Of course I bought it.). It’s you squinting into the sun, the broad daylight. It’s your leg, hot and wet and sparkling with pool water, as Katsuki palms your calf. A dozen tiny moments of you, slipped between Izuku grinning with All Might’s face, his eyes glowing green, or Iida clopping through the landscape, half horse.
It’s—whatever, Katsuki thinks. Maybe he just saw your dumbass face somewhere—wide-eyed, moony, watching him warily—and his brain latched on to it, desperate for some normalcy among Best Jeanist with long golden hair like a cape, or Katsuki’s mother, crying over him, his heart in a box.
But most of the shitty extras in his dreams don’t repeat. Not like you. Katsuki wakes up in the coolness of the twilight world before dawn, breathing hard as his heart thumps in fear, the last thing he can remember from his dream being you, whispering his name and prickling his skin like he can feel your breath on his shoulder and—
It’s just him, in his wide bed. Him in the blue world before his alarm.
Katsuki shudders, eyes squeezed tight, and has to admit to himself: maybe shit was weirder than he thought.
For a while, things don’t change. The heat of his nightmares (the smoke, the ground underneath his feet tilting as UA poises precariously in the air, over the country) stays the same. His stupider dreams stay the same. The ones that feed his guilt (Izuku, four years old, chubby hand held out; Edgeshot, his eyes crinkling above his mask as he balanced his tea against his leg, the group being debriefed before battle) stay the same. You slip in like a comma, a pause, the back of your head haloed by the latelight as you’re passing by a civilian begging for Dynamight to save them. You, your lips parted around the words you can’t say before Kirishima is there, throwing his arm around Katsuki’s shoulder and talking about how they’ll be late for a school dance that never happened.
Maybe it’s a fucking Quirk, Katsuki thinks, gritting his teeth at the idea of some bastard getting a hit in, unchecked. But when the doctor shrugs at him, Katsuki slouching in the stiff chair, and says, “you’re all clear, Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight, sir. There’s nothing in your system—”
Well, the blond thinks, mouth tightening. Then there was a fucking problem.
Maybe he’s been givin’ it too much damn attention. Katsuki resolves to ignore it, throwing himself into the investigation at hand—some bastard, turning people into living mannequins—and for a while, it works. His dreams are filled with nonsense from work, from patrol, from the insecurities he left behind at seventeen—and then you return, the breath between words, the hyphen between thoughts.
You’re walking ahead of him, Katsuki too aware of his hands balled into his pockets, your jacket long and bright against the city night, the glitter of Tokyo Tower ahead of you both. You’re laughing at something Denki is saying, ugly and breathless and on the verge of tears, Katsuki’s chest tight with it. You’re hesitating, your legs curling against his sheets as you stare up at him, his heart thumping with the pulse he sees jump in your throat.
It’s making him more vicious. He spars with Denki and nearly burns a idiot-shaped hole into the concrete floor of the training room. Out on the scene with Deku, Katsuki jumps into the fight first, causing the nerd to shout after him, startled at the deviation of the plan.
“You’re scaring everyone,” Shouto tells him, breaking the silence as they strip from their Hero gear. Katsuki stills, coiled and deadly but Shouto is unperturbed, buttoning his shirt. “Izuku’s worried. Denki’s been threatening to make a formal request to Support for a panic button. What’s happened?”
“Nothin’s fucking happened, Icyhot,” Katsuki says, scowling. But his hand tightens on his hoodie as he says it, and for all the moron’s obliviousness, Shouto is eagle-eyed when it comes to the tremor in his friends.
“What’s happened?” He repeats, the faint steel of insistence in his voice and Katsuki tsks, before conceding.
“Been having shit dreams is all,” he says, frowning unhappily.
Shouto frowns in answer, pulling a sweatshirt over his head. “Nightmares?” He asks, reasonably.
Nightmares. Katsuki’s jaw tightens, thinking of the latest dream—you, damp and flushed underneath him, gasping against his mouth as you share the same hot breath, his hand curling against your neck, so, so afraid.
“Yeah,” he says, quieter. “Something like that.”
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themeanestgirl · 2 months
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Yandere! Clark Kent
mentions of slight over-protectiveness, but not extreme. very light implied yandere behavior, along with mentions of very small injuries.
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We all know that Bruce Wayne is an anatomy nerd, specifically the anatomy of his metahuman counterparts. Maybe he's fascinated by how their bodies function, or maybe his paranoia wants to know every crevice he can exploit and weaknesses he can use against them if need be. Nonetheless, when his eyes are free they are always surveying, scrutinizing, and analyzing his fellow heroes. 
On the other side of the spectrum Yandere!Clark also likes anatomy. Clark loves to see the inner workings of his loved one's bodies. While his powers allow him to hear heartbeats from far away, it's another feeling entirely to see it in action, the vessel that keeps the people you care about working like a well-oiled machine. 
Clark can't help but get confused looks from the others when he loses focus during a league meeting and his eyes drift to another league member's chest. He doesn't mean it like that- honestly! In the most genuine way possible, after all they had been through together he is so thankful they are still walking among him. World leveling threats, alien invasions, and daily life were all so dangerous! For the Human League members, their lives were on the line anytime they left the house, while they were certainly capable and powerful in their own right, they didn't have invincibility like him.
After extra strenuous missions Clark checks in on his teammates, often using his X-ray vision to find injuries, knowing that if he hadn’t looked, the problems would go untreated and ignored. He is well versed in the “it's not that bad” or the “I can handle it, it's barely a scratch, Kent.” that he gets from his co-workers, but when you try to pull the same thing after even the most minor injury, expect to be babied to the max. 
While an injury like a paper cut may look like nothing to your human eyes, Clark can see that not only is there a cut, but there are micro-tears too! And oh my goodness look at this horrible abrasion! You can't see anything but to him, your skin looks rubbed beyond raw. He already feels helpless unable to help his friends, but to go on with his day and not help you? That would be beyond an unforgivable crime to him, he simply couldn't live with himself, he wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Just make things easy for him and stay still while he applies copious amounts of ointments and bandages.
Clark is just so fascinated by your body, he loves the way your muscles work, the way your blood flows through your veins, and even how your lungs expand when you breathe. To him, the normal functions of your body are like an artwork not yet realized to be the new Picasso. On a normal day, Clark likes staring, you try to ignore it but sometimes it feels like he's staring through you, like he can see into you. (he absolutely can)
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ilovereadingandstuff · 5 months
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Izuku, I love you...but you're so complicated.
That’s what I got to say.
With the recent manga chapters…I’m emotional.
Back at chapter 401, I went through my gloomiest, saddest, most depressed state I’ve ever been since following this manga. At that time, I was already submerged in this whole atmosphere of ‘war’, and after Stain’s apparent death, I got a realization…It hit me like a brick: AFO was frightening.
I never measured the true impact and weight of AFO’s actions. I never understood Izuku’s perspective of AFO’s first appearance at the series back at chapter 88.
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When I understood that, I really… I genuinely believed of the possibility of AFO’s winning…and I was waiting for AFO’ victory: I could hear his goddamn laugh. I could see the blood, the tears…I was drowning in hopelessness.
After all that I went through those few weeks, chapter 403 came…and I could breath. I smiled with the biggest grin I could physically do…I was excited with the panels of “the new beginning” and that bakudeku glance we had. Then, as if the sun never left our side, shining its light through all crystals of tears…Katsuki rose from death and saved All Might, along with Izuku’s help. He and All Might hit the roof of a building and, it that moment, we were blessed with one of the most beautiful smiles he have ever gotten inside this universe: Katsuki’s genuinely smile as the nerd he is by All Might’s compliment.
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I can not express in words the gladness, the satisfaction that grin left me with.
Katsuki has always been a truly complicated character for me since the beginning. But I really like him. I think that he, as a character, has been through quite a lot of experiences that always left with a bittersweet taste of him never truly achieving what he dreamt of: being a hero. But he came to a new light, even after death…his smile, the first genuinely smile we got from him…It made me happy. It made me nostalgic, satisfied with the fact that he, who has suffered so much, finally was given the opportunity to shine, to be.
But then, immerse in that bliss…I could not help but think of Izuku. Compared what I felt for Katsuki in that moment with what I felt for Izuku…
and I felt so empty.
...
Izuku is so…miserable... right now.
I’ve loved his character since the first time I saw him back at that day when I was presented of the existence of Boku No Hero Academia. I remember beginning to read the manga and his character just made its space into my heart. I saw him overcoming obstacles, defying the prejudices everyone put him into, challenging and coming on top among his classmates, other heroes, becoming the true successor of the symbol of peace…but then, I saw the fog surrounding me.
At that point, back at chapter 256, I realized the situation we were: the beginning of the predestined and inevitable war.
Izuku was stronger than many, happier with his life...but there were traces of painful sadness in his words.
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I could see that: there were so many things unspoken and unresolved topics about his character. What does he feel about himself? Did he feel strong at that point? How did he feel about the upcoming battle he had to face against AFO? What is the plan he has to reach out for Tomura? What about his self-sacrificial tendencies? Those are really gone or not? What about his health and body? What about gearshift and the deadly consequences it has to his body? What about his relationship with All Might? with Toshinori? Will he ever stop calling Katsuki by Kacchan? Does he still cling to that past he had with Katsuki when they were friends (before Katsuki manifestated his quirk)? There are still those insecurities he had before? Why does he insist so much that he must not cry? What about his father? Does he have any repercussions about the fact that he did not have a father figure for most of his life? Does he keep thinking of OFA as something special? What were those feelings about Katsuki that he felt that were ‘so gross’ and unworthy of addressing? What about his qurikless past self? How does he feel about his quirkless condition (reference to what he said to Kota back at chapter 72)? Has he ever thought about the bullying Katsuki put him through? What does he feel about that? Did he really forgive Katsuki?
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Then, the war started. And I mean the totality of it: things were not being addressed: Everything become ‘battle’, ‘fight’, ‘live-or-die situations'...as it has to be, obviously. In the middle of a war, who in the world will rest for a few seconds to question their reality?
Everything was accelerating, moving.
Many died, many suffered. Including Izuku, whose pov was taken away from us. He went through his Dark Hero Era, his feelings were hidden at the most recondite space possible. He saw his friends and pro heroes bleed, his childhood friend thrown away there in the middle of the battlefield, presumably dead…His idol/father figure almost die at the hands of the greatest villain of all times while fighting with the most dangerous one out there who could touch the ground and destroy the whole world…then he saw how Katsuki got up and saved All Might, leaving him with more time and space to continue the battle…
At the newest chapter, we only got the scene where we see Izuku’s figure, demarcated and exhausted face, thinking how he can defeat ShigAFO.
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I think that his character has gone through the correct path, but has cornered himself (or was cornered against his will) into this situation of exhaustion, with so many questions left unanswered, with his character left there with a hurricane of emotions that are not even explained and the readers have only actions to interpret from this.
While Katsuki has overcome his troubled-life and can smile, laugh af AFO's face proclaiming victory…Izuku can not.
Izuku was left behind, even though he was so far ahead of everyone. He can not smile, he can’t rest, can’t let his guard down, can’t even think for a moment what he has been feeling this whole time.
This is a situation, where sooner or later, Izuku will have to face all this things he never addressed even in the slightest…and I want to know how that situation will be.
I want to see him smile, see him become the hero, the symbol of hope he has always dream of to be…I want him to stand tall and strong, smile bright... next to Katsuki.. as it should have been all this time.
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herinsectreflection · 4 months
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To Live So Close To The Spotlight (The Zeppo)
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I have, in essays past, referred to Xander Harris as one of the most controversial characters in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. After spending more time in the current fandom landscape, I need to correct that statement. He’s simply one of the most disliked characters in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A lot of people hate him, and given his appearances up until now, it’s not entirely difficult to see why. Xander is an archetypical example of what I will call the Mild Nerd Guy; a trope born out of the 1980s and its Revenge Of The Nerds-led championing of geek culture. A trope that unfortunately came to dominate genre television throughout the 1990s and 2000s.
This is a character who is defined in opposition to more typical Dashing Action Hero archetypes. Where the Action Hero is strong and muscle-bound, the Mild Nerd Guy is physically weedy. He is often shy and lacking in self-confidence. He will appear creepy when he means to be charming – but in an innocent way that encourages us to feel sympathy with this helplessly befuddled young man. He has interests coded as “nerdy” – comic books, science, maths, Dungeons and Dragons. He will be unsuccessful with women, and more often than not will concentrate all his sexual energy onto a single desired target: a popular and attractive woman. This woman will - at least at the beginning of the story – neglects his silent pining in favour of clearly undeserving Bad Boys and Popular Jocks. This is where you get is your Scott Pilgrims, your Ross Gellers, your Tom Hansens, your Every Character Anthony Michael Hall Ever Played… and yes, your Xander Harrises. 
In essence, the Mild Nerd Guy is an alternate model of masculinity, one that certain types of men (shy, nerdy, physically weak) may relate to more than the Dashing Action Hero archetype. Unfortunately, while the trope often presents these men as more respectful towards women than their counterparts, the reality is that female autonomy is a secondary concern in both cases. These are competing models that men can use to Earn Women. Neither is actually concerned with the desires and goals of the women involved at all. 
The Mild Nerd Guy has obvious parallels to the sociological concept of the Nice Guy, a term that most in feminist circles should be comfortably au fait with by now. The Nice Guy feels deserving of the attentions of women solely because of his lack of overt hostility towards them, and resents them when this “niceness” is not immediately rewarded with sexual favours. While the two concepts should not be conflated – one is a writing trope while the other is a social phenomenon – they are inextricably linked. Media informs the way we interact with the world, and the world informs the way we interact with media. Male entitlement engorges itself with stories of men winning women through inaction - the implication being that men deserve the attentions of women by default, and should be upset when it is not automatically bestowed upon them.
Meanwhile, women who have firsthand experience of this entitlement and the behaviour it encourages will naturally be fed up with it, and will bring that frustration into their consumption of media. They will take one look at a Scott Pilgrim or Xander Harris and be immediately, justifiably repulsed. While the more fantastical crimes of Angel or Spike can be easily forgiven, everyday crimes cannot. Most women have never met a serial killer. We’ve all met a creepy nerd. 
This is not a criticism of viewers who have reacted in that way. The common accusation of Xander being a “Nice Guy” I believe an inaccurate read on his character and a misuse of a term meant for the analysis of reality and not fiction. However, I can’t blame anyone who makes that instinctive leap. In fact I would say that bringing one’s own experiences to the consumption of media is the only correct way to watch television. And yet, I can’t count myself truly among that crowd. Despite my distaste for the simpering entitlement this trope has encouraged in male nerd circles, and despite the times I have been disgusted by a line Nicholas Brendon has been made to deliver thus far, I can’t say that I don’t like Xander. In fact, I would say I like Xander, and this episode is a big reason why.
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linkemon · 7 months
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Confession headcanons 1
Friendly reminder that English is not my first language. You can check my Masterlists both in English and Polish here.
Consider supporting me on Ko-fi.
Other headcanons from this series can be found here.
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Malleus Draconia
• Malleus' confession of feelings involved a number of obstacles and misunderstandings, although happily resolved.
• He wrote about you many times in letters to his grandmother. And although it made him realize the fragility of relationships with humans, grandma was also very happy knowing that her grandson had experienced such deep love. She really wanted to meet you, even though you didn't know it at the time.
• Draconia's biggest fear and block from telling you how he felt was the fear of loss. In various aspects of it. He was aware that he would certainly outlive you, and from time to time the thought of you returning to the world you came from floated in the back of his mind. In addition, you were his first real friend, not counting the people who were with him every day. Rejection could cost him the entire relationship.
One most ordinary night, he simply realized that the risk was worth trying to tell you how he felt.
• Malleus sprang into action with eager vigour. Unfortunately, these efforts were somewhat misdirected. It took Lilia to clearly explain to him that the customs adopted among fae do not necessarily translate to humans. He was forced to do this, as it were, because after you threw away his family generational necklace, the clouds over Diasomnia were darkening day by day and a disastrous downpour with lightning was brewing.
Meanwhile, you were simply afraid that Grim would destroy such a valuable and expensive gift. You had absolutely no idea of the additional meaning it carried.
• The second attempt was definitely more successful. Malleus gave you the rose seeds he grew in Briar Valley. Planted in Ramshackle, with his magic they turned into a field of red flowers. Combined with the moonlight and the fireflies dancing around you, it created a wonderful atmosphere that you will remember for a long time.
It was then that the fae confessed to you that he had been smitten with you from the very beginning but it was your friendship, so precious to him, that turned into something more. The fact that he knelt down in front of you and promised to give you everything you wanted made you think for a moment that he was going to propose to you. Initially, that's what he planned, but Lilia talked him out of it...
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Idia Shroud
• It's not that Idia didn't know what love was. He had played so many otome games that while he wasn't an expert, he certainly wasn't a noob. However, without Ortho's help, he would not have correctly recognized its signs in real life.
• He started by avoiding you. The rapid heartbeat and red tips of his hair were becoming more and more frequent and it was difficult for him to control them. So he found the best solution he could come up with, which was to lock himself in his room. He avoided you as much as he could all over campus.
• His brother, although he quickly understood through data analysis what was happening to him, did not think it was good to raise the topic too early. Initially, he wanted to give Idia time. Time was clearly running out because the robot, seeing you once again look sadly at the tablet and gave it a wide berth, decided to act. He prepared a series of tests to convince your older brother that you reciprocate his feelings. Of course, Shroud hid under the blanket, mumbled to be left alone. Although he pretended to be uninterested, the speech actually sparked hope in him.
Maybe this time he wasn't a total knight nerd and side hero? Maybe he could play the lead role for once?
• He did what he does best. He designed a program that allowed him to send a request if you wanted to be his girlfriend. At worst, he was going to pretend it was a mistake.
When he saw that instead of checking the tick box, you had come to Ignihyde, he immediately paled. You had to knock on the door, telling him that you wouldn't leave until he explained to you what was actually going on and how this confession related to his constant avoidance of you.
Idia just stuck his head out of the crack, stammered and said that he was like the worst NPC you've ever seen but if you let him have some time, maybe he'll become a main character worthy of you.
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Kalim Al-Asim
• Friendzone should be his middle name. From the beginning of your relationship, he sent you signals that you considered romantic. Until you started spending more time with him around others and you found out that Kalim treated them the same way he treated you. That's when everything started to get confusing for you.
• When you tried to tell him that you liked him very much, he replied that he liked you too. When you said more, he said more, more. And when you said he was more than a friend, he said you were his best friend. He did all this with such a wide smile on his face that you didn't have the heart to explain to him the true meaning of your statements. You knew the sincerity of his words. Few people in the NRC matched him in truthfulness. But it was incredibly frustrating for you.
• Grim knew exactly what was happening, seeing your hearty eyes every time you left the desert dormitory. He calculated in his head how many cans of tuna he would get if you got together with the prefect of Scarabia. This prompted him to not-so-subtly blurt out to Kalim that you were romantically interested in him. In return, he received a promise of a container of fish delicacies.
• The boy was in great shock but in a positive way. He didn't know what to do with all his joy, so he grabbed the first flowers in a vase he had at hand and ran towards the flying carpet. You weren't expecting him at all in the evening, dressed in your pajamas and ready to go to bed. He hugged you so tightly that he almost knocked you over and that was before he even remembered that he hadn't told you why he actually came...
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kitthepurplepotato · 7 months
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Week 8 - Wonderland ✨
Summary: It’s a secret.
Warnings: Swear words.
First part Master List
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
“Good morning, sweet pea.” Midoriya looks up in his new glasses with a smile on his sleepy face. He’s sitting on the sofa in a criss-cross applesauce position, with a brand new notebook in his hands; he was chewing the top of his pen deep in thought while he muttered incoherently to the notebook until you came in; his face changed into his usual sunshine smile after, work abandoned.
You need the make a confession…
You really hate these glasses.
Looking into Deku’s eyes was already hard for you, but these glasses makes him look so innocent and geeky you can barely stop yourself from ruining his look and kiss him until his eyes change into that deep pine green, almost black color he usually have when he’s jealous.
This should be illegal. While normal Izuku feels unapproachable, a star on the sky you can’t reach, this one is warm and calm and it’s calling your name; it makes you feel like falling in love with him isn’t the most insane thing you could have done in your current situation, but something that was bound to happen; something that was written in the skies, a story where you walk among the stars and take the one you like the most like it’s the easiest thing in the universe to hold one so closely. You wish to be able to live in this story. You want to be the only girl who keeps a star in her shirt pocket, right by her heart, the steady beats keeping the little planet alive. The two of you would live a happy life; there’s nothing else you need other than the comfortable pressure on your chest to be able to keep moving, knowing the little star will never let you get hurt in any way.
Well, your thoughts definitely got out hand right now. Izuku does that to you quite a lot these days; he shines so brightly it hurts your eyes sometimes. Maybe, you should have used the Sun as a comparison instead, because that’s what Izuku really is; if you selfishly take the sun away from the world, just to keep it in your pocket, everything crumbles; Izuku is more than just a person, he’s the savior of Japan, the number one hero who’s everyone’s and no one’s at the same time; you must not take him away…
“I’m a human, Y/N. You know that more than anyone else.” A sudden caress drags you back from your daydreams; Izuku’s standing next to you, slowly stroking your cheeks, a new emotion decorating his beautiful face; you try and try but you can’t understand it, it’s deeper than the ocean and darker than the black hole, warm but mysterious at the same time.
“Did I mumble all of that out loud?” You ask shyly, a hint of pink dusting your cheeks.
“Funnily enough, I also compare you to the sun in my mind; maybe there are two suns in this story. Do you think they can burn themselves if they have the same blaze? Can they blind themselves if they are already used to the blinding light?” Midoriya mutters, his eyes never leaving yours. There is a sudden understanding in his eyes and he moves towards you to knock your foreheads together. Your breath hitches but you continue to listen intently. “What if we had this all wrong and we are actually the same? What if we are the two halves of the same planet, one not complete without the other? What if what we think is wrong is actually the solution?”
“Izuku, I…”
The sudden screech of Izuku’s high tech bracelet shatters the glass wall around you; it falls to the floor with a loud clatter, painting the walls in rainbow colors for only a second before they disappear, leaving nothing but the darkness of the early morning in the living room.
“Nerd, are you busy?” Katsuki’s hologram suddenly pops out of the little bracelet. “Woah, sorry.”
You never thought you’ll live long enough to see the big, tough Dynamight flustered, but here you are.
“Katsuki, I love you and I respect you but if it’s not important enough for you to yell ‘it’s go time’, send a fucking message instead.”
… and Midoriya is fucking mad. Another thing you’ve never thought you’ll ever see.
“I will let you get away with your attitude this one time but if you ever talk to me like this ever again, I’ll howitzer impact you to the moon.”
“Deal.” Midoriya presses the button on his bracelet without saying goodbye. He takes a deep breath and tries his best to smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Can we have a chill evening today? Just you and me watching a stupid movie while we forget about all our responsibilities?” Izuku sighs, his head buried in his usual spot in the crook of your neck; you are quite sure you have a head shaped dent in there by now.
“Anything for my Sun.” You grin and you can feel Izuku rolling his eyes fondly.
“Shithead.” He giggles and moves towards his room like that whole conversation didn’t even happen. To be fair, it’s probably for the best.
“You better be back by eight, it’s your fucking day off.” You reprimand but Izuku only laughs in his room. You can hear the rustle of his costume as he changes.
“With all the pent up anger I feel right now, this fight will be done and won in a heart beat.”
~•🥦•~
Izuku stays true to his word and comes back after a few hours; there are no injuries on his body this time and he sounds as chirpy as he usually does on his day offs which means his stamina wasn’t used up for healing; in conclusion, Pro Hero Deku did not get hurt today. What a day to be alive.
“Someone was in a hurry to come back tonight.” You raise a single eyebrow knowingly.
“I could smell the popcorn. That’s all I was waiting for all day, really.”
Sassy Izuku is your new favorite by the way. You have no idea where he was hiding all this sass for the last two months, but hell if you are not into it. Not like there is anything you are not into when it comes to the green haired hero.
“Oh, okay then, I’ll make All Meowt eat all the Katsudon I made while you were away. It was made with love and tears from missing you so much, but you know what? Go eat the popcorn while your favorite food rots away together with my broken heart.” You make a dramatic swoon-motion; you can hear Midoriya giggling in the background, his eyes shining happily as he looks into your eyes. His eyes glaze over for a second, like he’s not even the room anymore, so you come closer to him to get him out of his stupor.
“You okay?” You ask, your hands caressing his cheeks soothingly.
“Yeah.” Izuku mutters. “I was just thinking about how much I love… coming home to this. To you. Yeah. That’s it.”
“I also love… when you come home smiling like this. Happiness looks good on you.”
You are not lying. It really does look good on him; his eyes shine brighter than the chandelier in the living room, all sweet and sparkly as he looks into your eyes, looking for answers to the questions he doesn’t even know he wants to ask. Midoriya is beaming today for some reason and so are you; as though there is a magnetic field pulling you closer and closer to the man in front of you and the closer you get the more right it feels.
“I’m only happy because of you, you know that, right?” Midoriya mumbles as you embrace him tightly in the middle of the entrance, as though you haven’t done the same only a few hours ago.
“You are killing me.” You mutter into his uniform. “One day, my heart will give in and if it does I want you to carve ‘killed by smooth moves’ on my tombstone.”
“I wasn’t flirting with you, I was stating facts. Two different things, Sweet Pea.” Midoriya smiles as he leaves a tiny kiss on the top of your head, his hands on the both sides of your cheeks. You feel like a little kid in between those huge, scarred hands. He moves towards his room to change into his comfy sweats and you enjoy a lovely dinner afterwards. The dinner is silent but the silence is gold; It’s comfortable and sweet, the air filled with unsaid words but somehow it’s not giving you anxiety anymore. The fleeting touches and tiny smiles say more than thousand words ever can.
~•🥦•~
It’s always so nice to have these moments with Midoriya when all the problems of your real life are just tucked away somewhere in the corner while you melt into his side and forget everything that has been bothering you during the day. There is a cheesy romantic movie playing on the TV, the main couple crying and kissing in the rain after being away from each other for too long; it’s heartbreaking, but to be honest, you don’t concentrate enough on the show to actually understand the feelings behind it as you are too distracted by your roommate in his new glasses, round with a thin rim, dark green like his disheveled, still wet hair. He looks absolutely beautiful. So fucking beautiful it churns your insides and makes you feel dizzy, makes you feel like you’re levitating in the air and the only thing keeping you from flying away is Izuku’s gaze on you; he looks at you with half lidded eyes wondering around your face left to right, top to bottom as though he’s trying to remember every single shape, every single pore, every single crevice.
His eyes wonder down to your lips and you bite on them instinctively, shy from the sudden closeness. You have no idea when did he move closer, or maybe it was you, somehow the time works in a weird way right now, five minutes might have passed but maybe it was only a few seconds, who knows? Maybe it’s already tomorrow but it might be yesterday. Your mind is in a frenzy and so is Izuku’s; the credits roll in the background but you have no idea how did the movie end; your mind is too full with green clouds and turquoise sparks as Izuku suddenly moves closer and closer, his lips scraping yours in the middle of the movement. The world stops spinning and everything turns green; Izuku stops right there and takes a deep breath; the warm air tickles your lips and makes you want to move further, the last bit of your restraint snapping like an old rubber band under too much pressure. You don’t need to take the first step as Izuku has the same thought; he puts his lips on yours, soft and gentle; he barely moves, just takes your bottom lip in his, leaving one tiny peck then he jerks himself away right after. He looks terrified and guilty and you can see the words coming out of his mouth but you can’t really hear them; you touch your lips, your heart pounding heavily in your chest, you barely understand the implications of the action and maybe that’s why you decide to shut him up with your mouth. Izuku stares at you with wide eyes after you move away and you stare back with the same expression, panting and utterly confused by how this had happened; the confusion twists into something else as you both continue to look into each other’s eyes, looking for sign, begging for something to stop you from making a mistake but you can’t find any; Izuku slowly knocks your foreheads together, giving you more than enough time to move away but you don’t; you can’t, it’s physically impossible to do so. Izuku cups your face, his eyes still full of worry and his head full of thoughts while your hand comes up and you tangle your fingers into his green locks and it hits differently from this angle; the usually friendly gesture has so much heat to it now; he pants and looks at you again, looking for a sign one last time before he closes the remaining distance and kisses you again; this time, properly.
And fuck, Midoriya Izuku is an amazing kisser.
He doesn’t deepen the kiss, he just pecks your lips once or twice, sometimes taking your upper lip in his mouth to gently suck on it, it’s sweet and careful, just like Izuku himself yet it still leaves you hot and bothered, begging for more but you decide to behave and just enjoy what you get, letting him have the upper hand. His kisses are so soft you want to cry from happiness, he makes you feel so fragile but somehow, the feeling isn’t unwelcome; it reminds you of the time he took you into his arms when you fell asleep on the sofa, of the way he carried you to your room, soft and careful about his movements, making sure you don’t wake up; it’s the same now, just in a different situation and it fits so perfectly; everything feels like a fragile dream, as though a single harsh movement would make the dream fade away. You have no idea how much time has passed; maybe five minutes or maybe an hour. By the tingles of your lips, it was probably much longer than you think. Izuku slows down completely, leaving featherlight kisses on your lips then hides his face in the crook of your neck; now that your head is less cloudy you realize he’s shaking.
“What’s wrong?” You ask while you massage his head soothingly.
“I’m sorry.” His voice is shaky and he grabs the t-shirt wrinkling on your stomach, clenches his hand around it; he’s clearly shaken up by this and so are you. You’ve already been way past the friend zone since the beginning but this… this is another level. You can’t just shake this off the way you usually do.
“Izu, we don’t need to talk about this. And I… I can’t lie to you and say I didn’t like it. Don’t make me do that.” You say with tears pooling in your eyes. You know it’s not the right solution to the problem and it will bite you back later but this happiness inside you is so pure and so terrifyingly strong you want to be selfish for once and keep this false happiness for as long as you can. Midoriya nods and gives you a sad smile, finally moving his head up to look at you and jesus, you could get used to this look on him, his lips swollen from all the kissing, dusty pink creeping up his cheeks, his eyes so soft and fond it makes your insides churn. His glasses are dirty and he probably can’t see through them properly anymore and you can’t help but giggle at that.
“Sorry, I dirtied your glasses.” You take his glasses off fondly and put them down on the coffee table.
“Hundred percent worth it.” He smiles softly and your heart flutters in a new way, it’s something deeper, something you can’t easily come out of and you probably never will. You have a strong urge to tell him all of that, tell him how much you love him and how much you want to keep doing what you’ve been doing for the past hour but you decide against it; Izuku is clearly overwhelmed right now and he definitely does not need your mess of emotions on top of that. “I’m going to sleep, okay?” He mumbles, his hands moving up and down on your arms calmingly.
“Yeah, good idea.” You nod and stand up, ready to leave but the greenette pulls you back for a crashing hug.
“Thank you.” He mumbles wetly. “Thank you for existing. For being so understanding. You are the best thing that has ever happened in my life and I don’t want to loose you because of this.” Izuku sniffles, pulling you impossibly close.
“Do you remember when you said I could be a mass murderer and you would still beg me to stay with you?” You mumble, deep in thought. Izuku nods. “It’s the same for me, Izu.” You smile sadly and make your way to your room.
“Y/N, I love you.” He declares without a hint of hesitation, his eyes boring holes into your skull. He means it - his eyes tell.
“I love you too, you silly nerd.”
It’s not the same. He can’t feel the same. But his eyes… they tell you a different story but maybe it’s just the reflection of your own emotions, it’s what you want to see, far from the reality, somewhere in Wonderland where all of this is easy, where pulling him close and telling him to stay and share the bed isn’t something you need to push down. It’s all a dream and it’s time to wake up from it. You don’t need to love someone romantically to want to kiss them. It happens sometimes. It was a moment of weakness, that’s all.
You close the door behind yourself, your back sliding down on it until your bottom hits the floor.
“Fuck…”
~•🥦•~
— Deku’s mental health support group —
Deku: I kissed her.
Kacchan: You kiss her every single fucking day Deku.
Deku: Not like this. I fucked up.
Shitty Hair: You actually kissed her? How did she react?
Deku: …
Deku: …
Kacchan: Shitty Deku…
Deku: She kissed me back. We’ve kissed for a whole hour.
Shitty Hair: BRB crying RN
Kacchan: He’s not lying.
Deku: Can I call you?
~•🥦•~
Mama Katsuki: Oi freeloader, you ok?
Y/N: I’m having a meltdown.
Mama Katsuki: So is Deku. Stop feeling shitty. You are both stupid as fuck.
Y/N: Well, thanks for the pick-me-up! LOL
Mama Katsuki: Any time. Now call Headphones or whatever. I already sent her a message, she’s free.
Y/N: That’t really thoughtful.
Mama Katsuki: Fuck you.
…Next Chapter!
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
*The potato hides behind the sofa and waits for the comments section to blow up* 
TL: @porusuniverse @stickygumchewer @sixxze @mily-moo @aei-sedai-moiraine @aymasakusa @kastuari @kenzie-deadly @shiviwrites07 @lukerycyja-reblogs @cloroxisadelectabletreat @coffeent @kisskissshutmydoor @bobcar1 @yazminetrahan @cringefan @ronimacaroni77 @thekookiecorner @dangerousluv1 @emperatris-rinaka @shotos-angelic-whore
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For my own entertainment I wish the weird man to weird man mental communication in bnha was unhelpful, to the point it showed both Tomura and Deku the most useless but funny (maybe even the small and horrifying) memories they own.
I want to know the silly things. How lame Tomura was at first when he started playing video games. How many times Deku fell on his ass when he was training to control OFA. Want them to realize that they had the same favorite show when they were little kids. I want them to be the loser nerds they both are, for their feelings of inadequacy to mix 'til they can see their reflection in each other.
Mind sharing the big events is cool and all, but it's the little things that made them so similar, at least similar enough to understand where their paths changed along the way.
Deku gets glimpses of Tomura's teenage years and realizes he never ever talked to other people his age except from texting in videogame chats. You could say that Dabi and Toga were his first "friends" in around 15 years... Meanwhile, Tomura gets glimpses of how many times Deku was told to kill himself over the years 'cause he didn't have a quirk, how many times he went home rejected, forgotten, humiliated.
Kid Deku and teen Tomura watching the same All Might video in different pcs in different rooms and sitting on different chairs. Wondering why he was not enough to be saved / wondering when would it be his turn to save people and make them smile. Deku and Tomura walking the streets alone, one of them looking at the wonders of the world in the sky while the other keeps his eyes on the ground to mitigate the hatred of the world flowing in his veins. Deku and Tomura eating alone, researching alone, breaking down on a corner where no one can see it, because there's no one to listen to their burdens and no one to understand their hurt and no one who would see past the superficial, no one who would look at them and say "hey, this kid can do whatever he want to do in life, he was made for greatness!"
Kid Tomura playing with Nomus to not play alone. Kid Deku memorizing random facts in the hope to impress his peers, but they never talk to him. The last time Tomura was hugged at 5 years old. Deku in his almost-vigilante era, cold, lonely and tired of carrying the weight of the world in his shoulders at 17 years old. All the injuries Tomura got used to because he couldn't care less about the pain at that point in time. All the times Deku almost lost an arm trying to prove he belonged at UA with all the other future heroes. The anxiety of sitting in the backyard through the rain, watching how your family is dry and safe inside the house, not you; you have no place among them. The anxiety of a bedroom that no other kid visits, a collection of All Might toys to no one to play with, no one to share your joy or sadness, no one who cares 'bout you besides your mom.
I want them to share the little things, stupid and funny and joyful, depressing and heartbreaking. I want them to share all the moments no one else knows about— to peek behind the curtains that mark them as heroes and villains, but also behind the person they project to their friends and all the people on their side. Like I said before, I know that the big moments are important. It's just that for me, the details make it so much meaningful...
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duketectivecomics · 8 months
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[ID: An edit by @redroseworks advertising Duke Thomas Week 2023. The background consists of two panel edits of Duke in his Signal costume facing outwardly from the left and right side respectively, and a third Duke in the center in his civilian clothes facing the viewer straight on. There is a dot overlay on these panels and they are broken up into triangular comic panels. The dates and themes for Duke Week are listed in text boxes spread throughout, & are listed in further detail in the post below.]
Once again, it’s
Duke Week 2023!
Further info for this year’s Themes, Rules & Guidelines are under the cut! Be sure to spread the word!
Themes for 2023 (Sept 24th-30th):
Day 1 - Rebellion
From his rough start with Dr. Thompkins, to his rocky team-up with Black Lightning & the Outsiders, Duke’s always been quite the Rebel! Here’s a day to commemorate our Rebellious Rockin’ Robin!
Day 2 - Civilian Life
Duke’s time as a vigilante is full of intrigue & adventure, but what about his time outside of the mask? This day is all about exploring Duke’s civilian identity!
Day 3 - Fav Quote
From his introduction in Batman (2011) all the way up through his more recent appearances in Batman: Urban Legends, there’s plenty of quotes to pull from Duke. But which ones stand out among the crowd? Which ones have resonated the most with you? (And here’s a link to our Duke Reading guide in case you want a refresher!)
Day 4 - What is… Normal? (Meme/Free Day)
A free day for folks to share general Duke work, or of course, memes! This past year I’ve seen an influx as well with more general batfam fans questioning just how ‘normal’ or ‘sane’ our favorite bat is. And to that, I want to invite y’all to come on over and find out!
Day 5 - DnD, Wizards & Knights (oh my!)
One of Duke’s oldest special interests! He’s always been a bit of a fantasy nerd. This day is all about celebrating Duke’s hobbies of fantasy gaming and reading!
Day 6 - We Are Robins (Of the Future)
We’ve celebrated the We Are Robins of the Middletown collective before, but this year we’re predicting where they could go! Duke’s first team will always be an important part of his past, but how could they fit into his future?
Day 7 - Sun vs Moon
And to finish out this year’s Duke Week, we end on another note of duality. Duke’s a bat who operates mainly during the day, and occasionally is called upon at night. The bright sunlight of day may reveal something different about our hero compared to the cool moonlight of night.
Rules & Guidelines:
Tag your posts with “#dukeweek2023” &/or “#duke week 2023” for the event. For Best results use it as one of the first five tags & “@” this blog too. If the work is not reblogged here w/in 24 hrs, feel free to send it directly my way by DMing it to me!
Any medium of fanwork is allowed! Whether it’s fic, art, edits, mixes, meta, or more! In this same vein, multiple works for the same day are also allowed, provided they’re on-theme!
HOWEVER, No NSFW! The character is a minor at this point in canon and we want this week to be as inclusive to fans of all ages as possible.
Fics & ficlets that are posted on tumblr will also need a Read More cut to be up for reblogging. Use the : read more : function (no spaces before the colons) & press enter/return to add a cut to your fic! If linked through Ao3 or other fic websites, no cut is needed. Please provide adequate warnings as they apply to your fic, thank you!
Reposted/stolen art or edits will not be accepted or tolerated.
Got any questions about the event? The ask box is always open! (& remember to reblog & spread the word! Let’s have a GREAT DUKE WEEK!)
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spidey-x-male-reader · 9 months
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Could I make request for Roy Harper x reader where reader and him are on a fake date for a mission that ends up being a bust so they just finish the date?
Pairing: Roy Harper x male!reader
Warnings: ///
A/N: I LOVE ROY HARPER SO MUCH AND I WILL WRITE LITERALLY ANYTHING FOR HIM. also the reader is being described as gay here just for your knowledge. BUT I LOVE ROY HARPER SO MUCH
REQUESTS ARE OPEN
MASTERLIST
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It was a sunny afternoon in Star City when you found yourself standing outside a quaint café, nervously adjusting your shirt. It had been a while since you had been on an actual date and, as it turns out, getting ready for a fake date was just as stressful. But eventually you managed to pick out something that looked alright.
This was a mission with Roy Harper, you had met him a few times already. You fought side by side on some missions but this was a different kind of mission. You weren’t sure why someone thought it would be smart to send you on an undercover mission but you were here now. The objective was to gather information from a suspected arms dealer who frequented this very café. And to be unsuspicious the two of you should pretend to be on a date.
You weren’t sure why they chose you two out of all people though. There were some heroes that were actually dating that for sure would be less suspicious. But you are here now.
Roy Harper, ever the charismatic charmer, approached you with a playful grin on his face. Dressed in a casual yet stylish outfit, he effortlessly exuded confidence. For the love of god you had no idea how he managed to be so chill while you were a nervous wreck internally. 
"Hey, handsome. Ready to play our parts?" he asked, his voice laced with a mischievous tone. Immediately you felt a bit more at ease. Roy had that effect on you.
Taking a deep breath, you nodded and smiled back at him. "As ready as I'll ever be, Roy. Let's make this believable."
Together, you entered the café, Roy wrapping his arm around yours in a feigned display of affection, you tried your best to stay calm but having him this close was just making you nervous. 
As you sat down at a cozy table near the window, you observed the other patrons, trying to identify the arms dealer among them. The atmosphere was light, filled with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the murmurs of conversations.
Roy leaned closer, his breath tickling your ear as he whispered, "Remember, we need to be subtle. Let's talk, laugh, and act like we're genuinely interested in each other."
“Oh so you’re saying that I am not usually your type, mister harper?” you quietly asked in a joking tone.
“I mean I won’t lie, you’re cute but you’re a big nerd.”
You faked hurt, putting a hand on your chest but then grinned. “Wait, aren't you the guy who reads programming text books for fun? How am I the nerd here?”
“Well yeah but I don’t wear superman merch in my free time.”
“Oh shut up. Hood has Wonder Woman boxers and no one gives him shit for that.”
Roy now looked at you for a few seconds. “...are you serious? Because if you are, I might have to use this as blackmail material.”
He wanted to say something else but you two got interrupted when a waiter came over and asked you to order.
You ordered and then looked over at Roy who’s eyes were still on the menu. “He’s taking a latte and…one of those muffins.” you ordered for him and the waiter already disappeared.
“Did you just order for me?”
“I should do something for my fake boyfriend.”
“Naw. Am I your first fake boyfriend?” Roy asked with a grin but you could swear that he actually seemed to be interested.
“In fact, yes. I usually don’t get into situations like this.” you said with a chuckle.
“Fair enough. But I bet usually the guys are all over you.” 
“Oh you really don’t know me that well.” you just grinned, shaking your head.
“What? Come on. You’re kidding. I can’t believe–” the waiter came back and put down your drinks and snacks and he looked after them for a minute. “Where was I? Oh yeah. I can’t believe that.”
“You’re not in a relationship right now either, right?”
“Yes. But I chose that.” he grinned while leaning back in his chair.
“I thought Starfire broke up with you.”
“I…okay yeah that did happen but I’m over it.”
“I mean I wouldn’t be over it if someone like her would break up with me but whatever you say.” you grinned, grabbing your cup to start sipping your drink.
“I thought you were gay?”
“I am. Doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a beautiful woman. I’m gay, not blind.”
He laughs at that and you continue talking for a bit, almost losing track of time when you feel your phone vibrating in your pocket. You get it out to check your messages.
“Are you using your phone while on a date, (y/n)? Very unprofessional.”
“It’s Oliver. Apparently the guy has just shown his face somewhere else.”
“Seriously? Man I came all this way and– hey why is Oliver texting you and not me?” he now asked, leaning over and looked at your phone. “And why do you have him saved as Ollie??”
“What can I say? Your father likes me more than you.”
“Oh shut up.” he chuckled, lightly hitting your shoulder.
“What? I’m fake dating his child. Obviously we are forming a deep bond there.”
You just chuckled at that. The tension that you had felt when you arrived at this place had begun to dissipate, leaving behind a newfound ease between you and Roy.
“Well… we’ve been stood up. Really a horrible feeling.” Roy grinned, the tension from the mission lifting from his shoulders. “But you know…we’re already here. We might as well enjoy the rest of our date.”
He grinned while reaching out to put his hand on yours.
“You do know that we don’t have to play anymore, right?” you grinned slightly.
“Oh believe me, (y/n/n), I’m not playing.”
Oh.
And as it turns out, being on a date with Roy Harper was not as bad as you originally anticipated. Mostly because you weren’t the best at dates yourself.
As the sun began to set eventually, casting an orange hue across the city, Roy leaned back in his chair, a content smile gracing his face. "You know, for a mission that turned out to be a bust, this turned out to be one of the best dates I've ever had."
Your heart skipped a beat, mirroring his smile. "Yeah it was pretty nice.”
Eventually the waiter came again and Roy insisted on paying. Only minutes afterwards you were outside the café looking at the sky. 
“I guess you’re heading somewhere else so…this is where we split up” Roy slowly spoke.
You moved your arms around your torso, shuddering a bit against the cold that you felt due to the wind but nodded. “Yeah…”
He looked at you for a moment but then pulled off his jacket wordlessly handing it over to you. 
“Roy. I can’t take that.” you slowly said.
He just pushed the jacket into your hand. “No problem. Just give it back to me on the next date.” he winked at you and then left in the other direction. 
You smiled slightly, slowly putting on the jacket and trying to ignore the flattering in your chest when you realized what he had said.
The next date.
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figureofdismay · 3 months
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i feel like txf should have done more with the fact that, despite looking like a polished upper middle class office worker in an armani suit, mulder was an early Internet Poster Nerd Guy wading through the forums and paranormal zines for wheat among the chaff of paranoid/antisemetic conspiracy (with the help of TLG ofc), and in the process apparently collected some stalkers like Max Fenig. Like, it's actually likely that he was variously an internet folk hero, an early viral influencer, and a lolcow du jour -- while he personally was probably only partially aware of it given how much of his time was taken up with chasing monsters through the woods, running from bounty hunters, and getting slimed. And of course years of having epic UST with Scully. But still it would be funny to play with the idea of Mulder being 'blorbo from my nascent internet cult' to the paranormally minded forum and listserve frequenters, in both a positive and a negative way.
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liquidstar · 1 year
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support group for nerds who were rejected by their peers because of their hyper-energetic and reckless nature and, among other factors, this lead to a habit of escapism through fiction. only for them to eventually find themselves in a fantasy world, except that this world isn't anything like the story they envisioned. it's is far crueler and won't let them be the hero they always dreamed of, crushing their idealized fantasy. and because of shenanigans involving different forms of time travel they end up taking on massive burdens that weaken their mental state even further, and driving them into far worse depression than their former happy-go-lucky selves (even if part of that was a facade). this compounded with the guilt of leaving their parents behind, and the idea that they hurt all the friends they made along the way, they start to believe that the entire world would have been better off if they were never born to begin with. so they begin to feel that they can't be loved for who they really are, despite how much the people around them care. and at the end their arcs basically center around this idea of moving on from fantasy, growing up, and both understanding and being understood by others. and also have purple girlfriends with cats and a cute new non-human little sibling with parental abandonment issues
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codenamesazanka · 9 months
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Remembering your origins is a recurring theme in BnHA. Originating from Nana, it’s a rally to keep fighting, it’s motivation to keep moving when it all seems bleak, it’s about reigniting your dream—recalling the reason you started your journey in the first place. It’s used for Heroes and Villains both, to go Plus Ultra to truly reach your goals.
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Spinner experiences this too in the heteromorph mini-arc, but he first went through several false starts. 
In Chapter 371, confronted by Shoji about giving a reason for trying to invade the hospital, Spinner can’t give an answer, mostly because his brain is overheating so he can’t even form a coherent sentence. He does remember receiving quirks from AFO that gives him the overwhelming power to force his way through the Heroes’ defense -
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but that’s the how, and didn’t really matter as much as the why.
It’s when he thinks back to Shigaraki (and note, only Shigaraki) that he gains a burst of strength to attack, because Shigaraki is the why.
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Spinner wants to help achieve Shigaraki’s dream of ‘destroy everything’, and so he’s willing to take quirks from AFO, and use them to lead the heteromorph riot even though he feels unsuited for the role.
That’s not enough to succeed in his mission, though. Spinner gets knocked around by Shoji, who then asks him again to give a reason, this time a broader one - why is he rioting, why he decides this is the path (one of violence despite the violence Heroes also wield to achieve peace) he wants to take.
Here, Spinner regained a bit more clarity, recalling a motivation from further back in his life, before he joined the League; the reason he joined the League in the first place.
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This time, he’s remembering the source of his discontent - heteromorphic discrimination. Living in a society that treats him less than human because of his quirk, living among people who would and had sprayed him with pesticide for daring to venture outside his house. Spinner took up his blades because he didn’t want to be that powerless hikikomori anymore. He wanted revenge, and he wanted change. Anything else than his previous life, where he was nothing - forced by his surroundings to be nothing- a nobody who wouldn’t achieve anything.
With that, Spinner gets stronger, enough to finally break into the hospital.
But again, it’s not enough to succeed in his mission. In fact, this time it’s an even greater failure. His followers have abandoned him, Present Mic manages to hit Spinner with a sonic attack that throws Spinner off balance, causing him to lose and break the tape recorder that was going to wake Kurogiri up, and then Spinner’s out of all juices - extra-quirk wise, physically, nearly mentally too. 
In the moments before he loses consciousness, Spinner reflects. 
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Why is he fighting, why is he doing all this? When and what had he found something that finally filled his empty heart—because that would be his true beginning, the true place from where his life starts?
It’s not his grudges; it’s not Stain.
It’s, of course, Shigaraki again. Spinner’s doing this for his leader, all he wanted was to follow Shigaraki.
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Though it’s a little different this time.
See, his final memory before he completely blanks out, it’s not a flashback of Shigaraki the leader he’s following, or Shigaraki the boss he’s supporting. In fact, when he’s thinking of those moments (him asking AFO who he is, him putting the hand on Shigaraki, him seeing Shigaraki writhe on the ground in pain), it’s as the things leading up to his current predicament of being separated from Shigaraki.
Instead, what ends up being the thing that he truly wants to fight for, enough that it pushes him past all his limits—
is the friendship he cultivated with Shigaraki as equals.
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Just two nerds bonding over video games. It’s a panel of the two of them. That’s the memory he recalls to propel him to finally succeed.  
Spinner’s origin is the moment he became friends with Shigaraki.
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bakuhatsufallinlove · 9 months
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Chapter 348's "Shitty Nerd" Narrator Isn't Omniscient (And It's Not Bakugou Katsuki)
So, for a good bit there we were all theorizing about what was up with the narrator of chapter 348 calling Izuku a "shitty nerd" for not recognizing Toga's feelings for him, right?
Now, in a previous post I explained the different expectations Japanese audiences tend to have for frame narratives in weekly serialized manga. I posited that this may mean that the identity of 348's third-person narrator isn't necessarily of direct importance and, as a result, may never be explicitly revealed. I maintain the validity of this observation in general, however I no longer think it is relevant to understanding Horikoshi's approach to writing.
Because I am confident I have figured out who the narrator is: Best Jeanist.
To be clear, I do not believe that Best Jeanist is the source of every third-person narration in the series so far—I have yet to go back and research earlier chapters enough to theorize about that. I believe he is specifically the frame narrator who is explaining the critical moments of the Heroes’ final battle against AFO/Shigaraki, most notably in chapters 348 and 377.
Let’s go over the supporting evidence for this reading.
Best Jeanist's speech patterns match the idiosyncrasies found in 348
Back in February, pikahlua pointed out that 348's narrator uses "de aru” (である, also conjugated as であり, de ari) and I have been thinking about this detail ever since. Early on I described 348’s narration to a friend as sounding almost like a textbook, and it is “de aru” which contributes most to that tone. It functions as a connecting verb meaning "be" or "is," but it feels uniquely literary, even a bit archaic. Due to this, I pretty readily imagined that 348 was narrated by an omniscient figure who was telling the story to us as a historical event, like it was a passage from a book on “the great Hero Deku” or something like that.
But I kept wondering if, among all the fanciful characters in MHA, there was anyone who fit the bill for this type of language. Lo and behold:
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On top of Shigaraki escaping, we sustained tremendous damage. But… nevertheless, we Heroes must continue the fight with the threads of our faith utterly unrent! This is the hope of our scattered comrades, and it will be spun into a new era… Plus Ultra!
The back cover of the Japanese volumes all have in-character narration blurbs that match the speech patterns and personality of the character featured on the spine of the book. This is not replicated in the English releases, so the above translation is my own. Here, Best Jeanist uses “de aru” (highlighted in blue) for that same literary effect 348 uses. I looked through other volume covers and a few dozen chapters, and I found only a couple other uses of “de aru” in total--by Iida and a member of Spinner’s army shown in 370, neither of whom are likely candidates for 348’s narrator.
Best Jeanist in general speaks in a deliberately refined, elegant way. He uses polite speech at times and, even when talking casually, his word choices are rather serious and poetic. Notice the top orange text highlighted: 一糸の綻び (isshi no hokorobi) meaning the tear of a single thread, an evocative metaphor. Keep this and the bottom orange text in mind (散って, chitte, describing the “scattered comrades”).
Side note: Best Jeanist has used “kare” (彼, meaning "he") in canon to refer to Izuku, seen here in chapter 323:
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This is less of a smoking gun than “de aru,” but the politeness of 348’s narration and the word “kare” specifically rule out Katsuki as a potential narrator, so it is worth mentioning.
Volume 31 covers chapters 296-306, with the last chapter entitled, “The Final Act Begins.” I think it is significant that Best Jeanist is the narrator on this volume cover; it may be foreshadowing for his role as the narrator for the Final Battle itself, which leads us to...
Best Jeanist's Threads of Hope
Best Jeanist's Quirk and his entire schtick are about fibers and threads. He makes this a direct metaphor for the Heroes’ struggle against the League of Villains in 292 where he says that they will stop the League by weaving "threads of hope" (一縷の希望, ichiru no kibou). He develops this metaphor further in 294, describing their victory over Gigantomachia.
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He also used this kind of language in 311 and 317.
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And don’t forget, he sutured Katsuki’s damaged heart back together in hopes of reviving him.
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Then, we got this sequence in 377:
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A faceless, elderly individual speaking about the Final Battle in the past tense. This person directly references that thin thread to describe the Heroes’ chances and their gambit against the villains.
The blue text in the top panel, which is curiously absent from the English release, says:
「舞い散る桜のように・・・」
maichiru sakura no you ni…
Like falling cherry blossoms…
The verb for “falling” here is actually two verbs joined together meaning “to fall as if dancing.” Literally, maichiru means dance-scatter. The Heroes’ gambit relies on dividing the villains, and in their efforts, they themselves are being scattered, like cherry blossoms. Remember how Best Jeanist described his comrades as scattered? The second verb here is that very same one.
The thread and snap (or cut) wording even gets brought up six chapters later by Tsukauchi:
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The “hope” part is technically not present in the Japanese here, but I think official translator Caleb Cook caught on to the thematic parallel. And in my opinion, it is a pretty significant parallel.
So, with all this in mind: My bet is that Best Jeanist is the primary narrator for the final arc of the series.
This is a very interesting choice; it definitely raises questions about whether All Might survives. Best Jeanist is currently in his late 30s, so for him to be the elderly narrator seen in 377, he would have to be relaying these events from 30-40 years in the future, which might mean All Might survives the final battle but dies of old age later.
Whatever happens in the battle against AFO/Shigaraki, I think both Best Jeanist and Katsuki survive. Sometime post-battle, everyone gets the explanation for what happened when Izuku was warped away by Toga, and Katsuki—hearing that Izuku didn’t recognize Toga’s feelings for him—utters some iteration of 348’s infamous line about how, no matter what he does, he is still "a shitty nerd.”
Best Jeanist quotes him in 348’s narration, because... well, even though it is vulgar, it is a pretty accurate and even affectionate description of Izuku’s oblivious nature from his childhood friend, who knows him quite well. I think Best Jeanist, having mentored and watched over Katsuki all this time, deferred to him on the subject of Izuku’s personal life.
But he also did it because it’s funny as hell, and we should never forget that MHA is a comedy.
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malthemagnifisent · 5 months
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Pairing: Aerin x Male!elf Mc (Cyrus)
Plot: After so many relationships and friendships ruined by the interference of his brother, Aerin was determined not to let anything ruin Cyrus’ opinion of him. He couldn’t abide the thought of the one good thing in his life being turned against him, and perhaps that left him with more anger and possessiveness then he realized.
Content warning: Mentions of Baldur abuse, and very slightly 18+ scene at the end, but nothing really happens. It’s mainly just kissing and Aerin like unties MC’s pants.
Tag list: @zhoras-bitch @rosepetals1 @saibug1022 @oh-so-youre-a-nerd @baldwinboy5ive (enjoy)
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Baldur had always made sure to ruin any little thing that Aerin had to himself, and that included every moment, gift, and even person that Aerin found some enjoyment in. He’d destroyed Aerin’s favorite toys when they were young, and as they grew older, he took away even his peace.
The worst of all had been when he’d ruined the one good relationship in Aerin’s otherwise miserable life. He’d formed a friendship, perhaps even something more, with the son of a nobleman, and for a while, Aerin had been almost happy.
Then Baldur had found out, because he always found out, and before Aerin even had a chance, his brother had crushed the relationship in his hand and left Aerin floundering.
Somehow his brother had managed to wheedle his way under the skin of his friend, whispering all sorts of lies in his gullible ear, until finally his one bit of solace had turned away from him with nothing but anger.
In Aerin’s mind, everything of his was going to be ruined eventually, and Cyrus was no exception. Even with Baldur gone, he couldn’t discount that somehow Cyrus would be turned against him, and perhaps his fears drove him rather mad at times as jealousy and possessiveness became all too easy.
Everyone wanted Cyrus; that was a fact. He was smart and beautiful, brave beyond belief, and the hero of Morella, to top it all off. People wanted him, and Aerin couldn’t blame them, but still, Cyrus was his; Cyrus had chosen him, and he would be damned if he’d let anyone take him away.
There was a party in the castle of White Tower, and Cyrus, as usual, was the center of attention. He smiled politely as he talked with pushy nobles, all of whom wanted just a minute to speak with the famed hero of Morella.
Aerin would have been at Cyrus’ side, but just a moment ago he’d been sent for drinks, and as soon as he’d left, partygoers had descended like vultures. If he thought Cyrus’ minded, then Aerin would have hurried back, but as it was, he didn’t think Cyrus cared that he was being swarmed by admirers.
It took him some time to find a waiter through the thick crowd, and when he did, it was to the realization that he’d completely lost sight of Cyrus, so despite his best efforts, he may have been rather short with the servant as he snatched up cups of wine and hurried back through the crowd.
Realistically, he knew nothing would have changed in just those few seconds—that Cyrus would still be standing where he had been before, laughing and smiling until all the warmth of the room seemed to be coming from him.
That’s what he expected, at least, but when the crowd parted, he had a sinking feeling as he realized Cyrus was no longer standing among the chatting nobles.
His hands trembled slightly on the long stems of the wine glasses, but he paid it no mind as he set them down on the first table he saw before walking up to the dispersing crowd of men and women.
“Where’s Cyrus?” He snapped, glaring at one of the women he knew had been surrounding his friend. (or lover perhaps, he didn’t know what to call him.)
She looked at him with a familiar expression of distaste, one he’d gotten used to seeing from everyone whom he used to know. Not everyone had been as forgiving as Cyrus, and there were still people in Whitetower who saw him as nothing more than a corrupted prince who’d almost ended the realm.
Luckily for him, along with that hatred came a sense of fear, and usually he would have detested that anyone was still afraid of him, but now he was grateful for it, as it had the noblewoman responding in an instant.
“He went to the garden; Lord Edric accompanied him.”
That was all Aerin needed before he turned sharply on his heel and stormed out of the doors and into the cool evening air. His hands had clenched into tight fists, and each breath was a pain to draw in.
The scar on his chest ached, stretched as his lungs expanded, and burned in the cool air, but all that was what he’d grown used to; he’d come to expect that pain. What he couldn’t accept was the fear and misery of having the one truly good thing in his life taken away.
Lord Edric was a familiar name to him; he’d been friends with Baldur; that is, if anyone could really be considered friends with his late brother, and Aerin's cousins stood by the thought of him being alone with Cyrus for even a solitary moment.
God knows what he would say, what poison he would whisper, what lies he would tell, and how he might turn Cyrus against Aerin like Baldur had done so many times.
He stumbled over his own feet slightly as he heard Cyrus’ voice ahead of him, sounding clearly through the garden where no other sound but the wind could possibly be heard.
As he rounded a grove of trees, Aerin heard Lord Edric laughing and spotted the pair standing a few feet away, a good distance between them but not enough for Aerin's liking, not when Lord Edric could reach out and touch Cyrus if he tried, not when he could see the fine details of Cyrus’ eyes or smell the scent of the bath oils he used.
Those things weren’t for him; they were for Aerin, all for him.
Then Cyrus laughed at something Lord Edric had said, and Aerin couldn’t breathe anymore. He cleared his throat and stepped toward them, his head held high and his dark eyes fixed on Edric with the same kind of disdain he used to wear when he’d been so full of corruption that there had been no anger or hatred to feel.
“Aerin, I’m sorry I wandered off; I needed some air, and Lord Edric said he would show me the gardens,” Cryus said, his smile turning real, softer, brighter, and so much warmer than the false happiness he’d been showing before.
Without giving it much thought, Aerin strode forward and met Lord Edric’s eyes. “Leave us; you’ve taken up enough of his time,” he said, to the silent indignation of Cyrus, who seemed to be struggling with what to say.
It wasn’t often that Cyrus was left speechless, and if Aerin wasn’t so filled with anger and jealousy, then maybe he would have had room to feel proud of himself.
Lord Edric appeared ready to argue, but Aerin refused to give him a chance, the same way he refused to let Cyrus be taken or ruined. He raised his hand and nodded pointedly back toward the castle doors, where light was spilling out into the gardens and the sound of the party could still be heard.
“The hero of Morella has more important things than standing here and talking to you, Lord Edric,” he said, which finally seemed to get his point across as Edric’s lip curled back before he took the time to nod toward Cyrus.
“I’ll see you back at the party, I’m sure,” was all he said before he finally obeyed Aerin and walked away, leaving Aerin standing in a cloud of his own jealousy that anyone would take up Cyrus’ time, time that would be better spent with Aerin himself, time that was precious, as he didn’t know how much of it he would get before Cyrus was no longer his.
Silence prevailed for one long moment before Cyrus spoke. “That wasn’t necessary,” he said, looking at Aerin with such obvious disapproval that he almost felt bad for a moment.
Only a moment, though.
“You should stay away from Edric; he’s not as nice as he looks,” he muttered, turning to look over at the castle, where Edric had retreated and was luckily no longer in sight. He must have followed Aerin’s instructions and returned to the party.
Cyrus suddenly stepped in front of him, and Aerin was forced to confront the disapproval he’d been hoping to avoid. “Do you not trust me to figure that out on my own? What did you think was going to happen?” He asked, placing a hand on Aerin’s shoulder and holding him gently in place, as if Aerin would have left, if he would ever leave again. He would stay rooted to the spot as long as Cyrus wanted.
“He was friends with Baldur; years ago they were close, and besides that, you’re-“ Aerin broke off, breathing heavily, his head hanging low so his eyes could focus on the hand that still rested on his shoulder, the gentle weight helping him stay steady and warm even as a cool breeze blew around them.
Quirking a single eyebrow, Cyrus leaned down a little, and Aerin was forced to meet his eyes. “I’m what? Gullible?” He asked, already trying to piece out what Aerin had been about to say, but predictably he was failing, and Aerin should have been content to let him keep wondering, but for some reason he couldn’t.
Before he even knew what he was doing, Aerin was speaking, spilling his fear and anger, every word laced with jealousy and a sort of possessiveness he didn’t know he had in him. “No, you’re mine; you’re mine, and I can’t have you taken away,” he snapped, though as soon as the words left him, he felt bad for how they’d sounded.
To his credit, Cyrus didn’t even react; he just continued to stare at Aerin, clearly waiting for something better—some explanation that made sense and wasn’t just Aerin’s fear of being abandoned.
Cyrus suddenly gripped Aerin by the upper arm and pulled him deeper into the garden, behind another grouping of trees, so no one from the castle would have a chance of seeing them. “If I remember correctly, I’ve never been the one abandoning this relationship; that’s always been you,” he said, and perhaps it was a low blow, but Aerin couldn’t deny its truth.
He had been the one to run before this; he’d been the coward; he couldn’t handle his feelings well enough to keep Cyrus close, but now he was here to stay, and whenever he was determined to stick around, things inevitably fell apart.
“Every friend I ever made was driven away; Baldur got in between every relationship I started to build; I don’t know how he did it, but every time he made them leave,” Aerin said, shrugging his shoulders to break free of Cyrus’ grasp.
He couldn’t stay still when he talked of Baldur; even the mention of his brother set him on edge and put him into a state of such nerves that he simply had to move. Bakdur’s presence used to mean almost certain punches, so sitting down had never been an option; standing still was no better either, so pacing was the easiest.
“And what? Do you think he’s still pulling the strings from beyond the grave?” Cyrus asked as his hand suddenly settled on Aerin’s chin, and he was held in place by slim, cold fingers, pressing indents into his pale cheeks. “Your brother has no power over me; he never did.”
Swallowing thickly, Aerin reached up and grabbed Cyrus’ wrist, pulling the hand from his chin so he could step closer, crowding into Cyrus’ space like it was the most natural thing in the world. “You’re mine; I will not give you up,” he said, his free hand now tangling into the front of Cyrus’ shirt, clutching tightly at the rich fabric.
“No one is asking you to give me up,” Cyrus responded, his cool fingers enclosing slowly around Aerin’s wrist, gently tugging his hand away so the space between them was clear and Cyrus was free to lean down and rest his forehead gently on Aerin’s. “You think Lord Edric will steal me from you?” He chuckled, the notion seeming absurd the longer he considered it.
Aerin made a sound of frustration, and in an act of desperation, he pulled Cyrus closer and pressed their lips together. It wasn’t anything like their other kisses, though that was to be expected, as kissing Cyrus was never the same as it had been the time before.
Cyrus was so easily distracted from his earlier indignation as he grabbed Aerin by the waist and began to walk slowly back. The trees rustled above them, and the sounds of the party swelled for a moment before suddenly Aerin’s back was pressed against a tree, and he could think of nothing else but the hands trapping him there.
A hand snaked into his hair, and Aerin was lost in bliss as Cyrus trailed his lips down across his neck, sending fire skirting across his skin and making him crumble under the anticipation of being further burned alive under Cyrus’ touch.
The kiss broke, and Aerin whined in protest, as he always did, because he’d be happy to continue until he ran out of air. It wasn’t an unpleasant thought to die with Cyrus kissing him.
“Everyone wants you; you know that,” he said, his breath ghosting over Cyrus’ lips as he refused to lean back; he couldn’t bear the thought of stepping away.
Cyrus chuckled softly and shook his head. “I do not know that; I know you want me, and that’s what matters,” he said, pressing another soft kiss to the corner of Aerin’s lips.
“When people are near you, they can’t keep themselves from looking, and I can’t stop myself from wanting to hide you away, because for once I have something that is all mine, and I want to keep it that way." Aerin knew it was probably a bit much, that no one wanted to be kept on such a tight leash, but he couldn’t help the way he felt, the jealousy that tore out of his chest anytime someone made Cyrus laugh.
He wouldn’t have blamed Cyrus if the man decided to leave him, if he fell for the charms of one of his many admirers. Any of them could have given him more than Aerin could offer, but Aerin wouldn’t let go without putting up a fight to keep him.
“I never noticed when people were charmed by me; I’ve always been too busy checking if you were watching,” Cyrus mused, like his words weren’t everything Aerin needed to hear, as if they didn’t fuel every bit of desire and need he had.
Aerin tried to stop the shaking of his hands, but it was no use, and instead he employed the nervous energy as it should be used by pulling Cyrus down into another heated kiss. His fingers fiddled gently with the ties of Cyrus’ silken pants, giving every chance to pull away before he tugged at the fabric and began to open the ties.
“You’re mine,” he whispered again, his hand moving gently along the exposed strip of skin where Cyrus’ shirt had ridden up.
His hand dipped lower, and Cyrus shuddered against him, his forehead coming to rest on Aerin’s shoulder as his breaths began to shake.
“Yours, all yours, Aerin.”
And just like that, Aerin was insane again, driven mad by want and corrupted with possessive emotion that he knew no amount of light could cure. This was here to stay; this longing was never going to fade.
Cyrus was his, only his, and he’d be damned if he let him be taken away.
59 notes · View notes