#a little something for fahers day

[xlysaaa]

Ahhhhhh

Ok, so this might become a bit of a long post. After reading the latest Kono oto Tomare! chapter, i just have to get these feelings off my chest. It'll be random & full ramblings.

i put some panels of chapter 105 but also from 99.5 in this post.

-> lot of spoilers, so read at your own risk <-

this wont be a review or something. I just want to ramble and scream.

First of all, Chikas father . . .

I have literally no fucking words for this sorry excuse of a father! seeing this flashback made me wanna puke my fucking guts out on the floor.

how much do you have to sink as a human being to make YOUR VERY OWN CHILD think this?

What kind of human scum do you have become to tell to YOUR VERY OWN SON " It's hell. Ever since you were born, Its always been hell." ?! What kind of heartless huge shit being do you have to be to treat your very own son like he's the worst, like he isnt worth of human affection or care?!

While Chika was scared & uncomfortable, because he punched someone for the first time to defend himself, instead of talking about it the father looked at him like he was dirt.

When Chika went to the Takaokas that day in Chapter 99.5, he brought back come of the selfmade cake from Tetsukis mum, because he wanted to share it with his father, he thought he could make him happy.

look at this adorable sweet baby bean? how dare you make him cry. ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

Imagine a little smiling chika hoping his father would come back early from work to share this delicious cake with him. . . and THEN! imagine the father telling chika in his drunk state all those horrible things, while chika still cares for his father and put a blanket on him to keep him warm. Only for the faher to say ".. I cant bringt myself to love you."

We read in the latest chapter that his mother left with another man, chika cant even remember her face, because he was 2 years old. If its because of the dad, why wouldnt she take chika with her? i dont care whatever her business is, she is as much to blame as this human trash called father. There were so many moments were i had to pause for a bit cause these scenes were too heartbreaking.

Of course Chika would never treasure himself when never once did his father! How should he know how to hold himself dear, when his father never did?

I cant find even the words to describe, what i'm feeling. I feel so sick to my stomach.

I'm so glad that he had his grandpa who cherished him and gave Chika affection. He always encouraged Chika. "Hey, Chika. Dont give up on yourself" & showed him the Koto. He & Tetsuki literally pulled Chika out of the deep darkness & showed him light.

Look Chika, they're all waiting for you! T____T

- - - - - - -- - - - - - -

When Tetsuki transfered into Chikas class, a boy told him that he shouldnt get involved with chika because he's a loner & he's trouble. He said "Instead you can be friend with us" to which Tetsuki replied "Thanks. But no thanks." IN YO FACE YOU SHITTY BULLY CHILD.

Anyways, after school the boy & his friends planed to isolate Tetsuki & bully him . . welp, these boys forget chika "LAME. You guys are super lame." and off they go :'D thank to these shitty children ⬇️

a wonderful unbreakable friendship started! They became best friends who were inseparable. /chikas adorable blush q.q sweet baby bean!!!

When Chika had an argument with his father & left the house, he was bullied by middles schoolers & fought. . . it was then when they started to slowly fall apart.. Chika started to avoid Tetsuki & isolated himself again. Even when Tetsuki tried to ask what happened or tried to help him, Chika would only say "Its got nothing to do with you, do dont butt in." Tetsuki blamed himself "If only I had been there the first time Chika had fought. Maybe we could've run. Maybe we could've feigned defeat. Anything so he didnt have to deal with their attention. Any maybe he would still be . . ." He missed his best friend & was worried what would happen to Chika if he keeps going on like this..

Tetsuki was told by the teacher that his mother had an accident & needs surgery. He's waiting anxious in the hospital, hoping for the best, trying to keep the worst case thoughts away . . thats when Chika comes running into the hospital he was worried!

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS SIMPLY PERFECTION, I CANT!!! ૮₍ ꒦꒳꒦ ₎ა❤

When Tetsukis dad said to Chika that he heard a lot about him from his wife & thanked him for supporting Tetsuki, he asked about his wounds & if they hurt. . thats when Tetsuki learns the reason, why chika kept his distance from him. He didnt want to involve him or put him in danger. "E-Everything's fine! I'm not hanging out with Tetsuki anymore, nobody's seen us together, nobody knows we're friends or anything. I would never drag him into my problems. Never."

Takaoka-papa is as wonderful as Takaoka-mama, jesus the Takaoka family is a bunch of lovely human beings, help me!!!

BONUS:

WHY ARE THEY SO DAMN WONDERFUL??/Tetsuki is so happy for chika *ugly sobbing deluxe*

I'm so glad that that he had Tetsuki right beside him, i dont wanna imagine what would have happened to Chika without his support & affection.

For me, they have one of the most wonderful & most strongest bond ever. I love their friendship so much, seriously i could probably write an essay about them & would never be able go stop. 🥺❤❤❤

Chika went through so much already, he fought his way through life, suffered, so NOW! Let him finally become happy!

Ufff, i didnt mean to make it THIS long.. but there's so much to say about this manga & the relationships chika made or the persons met.ヾ( இ⌓இ)ﾉﾞ

#kono oto tomare! #kono oto tomare #KoT #KoT 105 #Kono oto Tomare 105 #Kono oto Tomare spoiler

[how-many-dragons]

OC as a child

Got tagged by @dickeybbqpit a few days ago, sorry for the delay, I was celebrating ^^

Claudius Hawke

Who named them/Significance of their name: Leandra gave him his names (middle name is Adrian) because she liked them and Malcolm agreed. There’s no other significance in game. I gave him the name Claudius because the way I made him was a bit peculiar. I wanted to make a Hawke that I could hate easily and then sacrifice in DAI and what better way to hate someone than to give him all the traits you hate about yourself? So now he carries the name my mother would’ve given me, had I been born a boy. Except I ended up loving him a lot and he did turn out very different from what I’d planned initially, so... eh I guess :’D

Home they grew up in: Farms! His parents started out working as farmhand/maid for other farmers/landowners and worked their way towards leasing some farmland and finally having their own farm. (I know very little about medieval farming, bear with me ^^) It’s hard work, physically, getting up early and going to bed late, but for a child surrounded by other children like him there’s also plenty opportunity for shenanigans. Claudius was a social child, always open for new experiences and people and his magnetism that attracts all kinds of people was already there, he’s well liked among the neighbouring children and those of the farm workers. Sometimes it occured that he quarrelled with one of the other children for some reason or other and that would drive a gap through the group, but the Hawkes would inevitably move on after a few years, so there’s never any opportunity for lasting feuds to develop. In general ‘home’ is for Claudius a name for his family rather than for a place, since it tends to take several years to grow roots in a place, but his parents, Carver and Bethany are always with him. khm.

Relationship with parents: Torn. On the one hand he idolises them both, for daring to live the way they do, no matter how much work it takes. On the other hand he never seems to be able to satisfy them. His faher is strict and asks a lot of him and Leandra’s expectations are nothing to scoff at either. Sometimes he just got ‘lost’ with a book somewhere for a moment of peace and not having to be the oldest brother, tasked with looking after the twins that are three years younger and another million things. Neither of his parents are ever pleased with that and all the responsibilities he’s shirked and foisted unto someone else by being absent. It gets worse when they discover his magic, as he gets a completely new set of tasks he has to complete, and that in secrecy.

Three Words to describe them as a child: stubborn, curious, observing

Childhood friend(s): There are many friends Claudius made during his childhood, but none he was able to keep. The whole moving around thing and covering their tracks doesn’t exactly promote lasting friendships, but to be honest, most of the friends he made were more of the environmental and superficial sort. To some he was exceptionally close for a short time but distance grew long before the Hawke family moved on, and with others he never got the opportunity to get to know them well enough. In the end, his best friends were his siblings, both in a very different way. Yet, they’re twins, and younger, so he never got to be as close to them as they were to each other.

Favorite Toy: Books! He is a real bookworm as a child, always asking the awkward questions and studying books and people and his surroundings and questioning and watching things under his magnifying glass.

Childhood Trauma?: The inability to grow roots and no place to break away from and aspire to be something. That constant anxiety of being found out and his family ripped apart because he made too big of a spectacle of himself accidentally. No way to fall back anwhere in case of failure. And I guess the mountain of guilt he starts amassing counts, the failed expectations that get bigger and bigger the older he gets. It’s more subtle than like... a sudden event but it sure leaves him traumatised.

Hobbies: Reading, play training (with Carver mostly), playfighting with the other kids, inventing stupid stuff, running from farmwork, cooking with or without Bethany

Childhood fear(s): His father being taken away. Himself being taken away. Bethany being taken away. Any combination of his family being ripped apart because they found them/him. All very much plausible fears.

Quirks: He concentrates very hard on one thing and if you interrupt him even just a second he gets grumpy. In general he gets angry a lot because of many things, sometimes for no reason at all and then he wonders at himself. He would sit in a corner and debate with himself why wants to slap the dog or shout at Bethany or Leandra. For how rude Claudius is all the time he’s incredibly talented at making friends with the other kids.

tagging some new-ish mutuals @thekeeperlavellan and @red-wardens, hello and welcome to my blog! and also @rynezion with specil request for Aria of course no obligation as always!

#Dragon Age 2 #Hawke #OC meme #Claudius Hawke

[machinakrp]

>> OPEN KWON JAEWON’S FILE …

:// AGE — 28 :// OCCUPATION — head of operations of neo seoul electric elysium branch :// CLASS — olympian

>> LOADING DEVELOPMENT …

:// MAGIC —  

slight charm. jaewon has a way with words and charming people whenever he needs to, which showed to be good to the business. not only because it makes him good in making new connections, but it also helps with that sure enough, and it has kept his father out of his toes for the last few years. when one thinks about the many missteps jaewon has made throughout his life, it makes no sense that he still maintains the position he does - and sure, his family name has a lot to do with it. but not only it. one smile, a carefully chosen string of words and he has people wrapped around his finger, willing to forget what he’s done. and what he will do.

:// MODIFICATIONS —

ballistic protection ~ using nanotechnology, it fortifies the skin from underneath so he is safe from attacks from melee weapons such as knives and smaller firearms. due to his position and importance, and the fear of terrorist attacks, he had this augmentation implanted at the age of sixteen. at the age of twenty-four, they updated this to also protect him from minor bomb explosions.

cranial bomb ~ also installed by his father once jaewon started working with him. being head of the elysium branch, his father, kwon sangwoo, had to make sure their data would be protected in case of kidnapping or of jaewon himself acting the fool. this was all done without his consent while he got his ballistic protection implanted.

cyberdeck ~ where he keeps all the important information of the company that he can use against his father. it comes with a program to defeat any hacking attempt against it. he implanted it after he became

>> LOADING BIOGRAPHY …

(28)

the music is deafening downstairs and jaewon makes his way up, away, to his room. the door closes behind him and he breathes in, relieved in his solitude. who would’ve thought the day would come he would feel better in the shadows rather than in the spotlight.

but here is the thing about when you have too much of something:

it stops being enough.

he places the glass on his counter, walks towards the window. in front of him the night sky spreads above and beyond. and seems limitless, almost – but he knows better than to believe that. now he does, at least. has learned so. there was a time he thought he could reach out and have anything in the world.

and so he did. kwon jaewon reached out and he has had everything. has tasted everything. and now he feels like there’s a hole inside of him that he cannot fill. wait, no. he can. of course, he can. this is not something wrong with him, it’s something wrong with the world. and as long as the problem is in the world, it’s something he can fix. it’s something he can change.

the world is his, anyway. he just needs to reach even further.

so he does.

(7)

power is a complicated thing in the hand of a kid.

okay, sure, it’s easy to blame it all on the parents. it makes him seem at little less at fault for what he becomes, right? not that jaewon is upset at what he becomes, or even sees it. this is the thing with power, in the first place. people don’t care what they do, what they become, as long as they have it. this is what his father had told him, since a very very young age.

when jaewon is seven, his father takes him to their company.

their. his father makes sure that is implanted on him (quite literally). once it will be his. once this building will pass on to him and it will be his job to keep it going, to keep it running.

“the world is divided, jaewon,” his father tells him on that day as they stand in front of the window of his father’s office, the blue sky above them and clouds beneath them. “there’s those who have power, and those who don’t.”

jaewon nods. “we have it, father?” he asks, and his father nods.

“yes, we do. and it will be your job to keep it.”

the kid looks up to his father, all dressed up in his pristine suit. “and what happens if i lose it?” the response to this terrifies him. not because of losing power, he’s too young to understand that, but the idea of failing his father’s wishes.

“then you become like them,” his father points bellow and jaewon looks down. he can’t see a thing. just clouds.

“but i can’t see them, father.”

“exactly. you can’t. they’re invisible from here up above. nothing,” his father kneels down. “you’ll become nothing.”

(22)

the light is dim, and there’s very few things jaewon can see in the room. but he can feel her all right, her arms around him, nails on his back. he leans in and kisses her, avid fingers making their way through her clothes. they don’t have much time for games or riddles. outside, he can hear the chatter of people, his mother’s charity dinner party going just as planned.

well.

this happening in her guest’s restroom isn’t as planned but. what she can’t see won’t break her heart.

“wait,” the girl says and jaewon pauses, annoyed. “i thought you are engaged.”

the ring on his finger weights, just a little. he places his hand on her jaw, presses, lets the coldness of the gold around his finger press against her skin. he smiles.

“does that bother you?” he asks, and the girl breathes out.

“no,” she whispers.

“good.”

he kisses her again.

(16)

“son,” someone knocks at his door and his mother comes in with a smile.

she is always smiling.

sometimes jaewon wonders if his father implanted that on her head too.

“i know you’re upset with your father,” she starts and jaewon stands up.

“mother. leave.”

“son. listen to me.”

“he implanted a bomb in my head!” he shouts and his mother closes her eyes. she is not smiling now, it lasts a second. she shivers, but when she opens her eyes she smiles again. it sickens him. it makes him want to throw up.

“i know it may look harsh now,” she says and jaewon blocks her out. he looks away, his back towards her. he was supposed to get a cranial cyberdeck implanted, and that was all. now that he was going to start working with his father he understood why that was necessary. but a bomb? “but your father only does everything to protect our family.”

“he’s a fucking asshole, mom,” he turns around to face her again. “what? do you have one too?”

she falters. jaewon breaks the mirror in front of him.

“does he even trust us?” he asks, and his mother sits down on his bed. jaewon sees when a tear streams down her face but he does nothing to comfort her. he doesn’t give a shit about her feelings right now. “why did he even put me there if he will kill me if i–”

his mother wipes her tear. “your father deals with a lot. once you’re in his position, maybe you’ll understand. there’s things he needs to do that– well. he has to. to protect us.”

jaewon snorts. “killing me would protect us?”

his mother smiles again.

“yes.”

(25)

“jaewon,” he hears, his though process cut by his faher’s voice. he looks at the man sitting at his right and his expression is cut through. jaewon smiles.

“sorry, father,” he says, looks around the table with an apologetic expression, “had trouble sleeping last night.”

“drink some coffee, then,” his father replies, and his smile seems to have worked. at least a little. at least enough.

the meeting continues around him and jaewon has trouble keeping up. one, because it’s dull as hell; two, because his head aches, the faint reminiscence of a hangover that he is not over yet. he needs to go to the doctor again and update his medication. whatever they have in his system is just not working anymore.

once it’s done, jaewon stands up as well, ready to go to his own office but his father beckons for him to stay. he sits back down, smiles even wider when his father closes the door. he doesn’t seem pleased, but when does he?

“jaewon,” his father starts, “you have to stop embarrassing me.”

“good grief, father. i spaced out. it’s not that big of a deal.”

his father doesn’t reply. the man sits down on the chair by his side, and jaewon is suddenly reminded when he was seven-years-old and he came in his father’s office for the first time. the way he looked up to him. the way he adored him.

now it all seems like some far away joke.

“i’m placing you in charge of the elysium branch of our company,” he says and jaewon furrows his eyebrows, confused. he was not expecting that.

“what?”

“I need you to start having responsibility. once, and for all.”

jaewon rolls his eyes. “you speak as though i’m doing a lousy job here.”

“you get the job done, son, but you are–”

“what?”

“too much. we have an image to keep. this place,” he gestures to the window. “you think we keep our place here just because of what we do? it’s also because of what we are. the failure of your engagement was already… a difficult hit, let’s put it like that.”

jaewon closes his eyes. “and how was that my fault? you chose her. you called the whole thing off. i was going to marry her, wasn’t, i? i didn’t want to, but i was going to–”

“all you do is whine. i raised you to be a man, and you’re still a child.”

he stands up and jaewon does as well. only his father can make a gift sound like a curse. something good sound like a sloppy second.

“what else do you want me to do? i’ve done everything you asked. you even implanted a fucking bomb in my head, and i let it go. for this fucking family. what else do you need?”

his father stops by the door and he doesn’t even look at him as he says:

“stop disappointing me.”

and then he leaves.

jaewon stays still, though he has rage enough to burn this whole building down. to kill his own father with his bare hands. he remains still. breathing hard.

what is power? he has asked his father one day and right now, even with so much, he still feels powerless.

and what are those without power?

nothing.

nothing at all.

#neobio #neozeus #neo choi minho