#a 2 minute scene with him alone in a cave was a fitting end

[romulanfucker]

well i finished ds9.

#i cried for the last 15 minutes straight but that doesnt mean it was a good finale it means the slowed down version of #the way you look tonight got to me #like. im not gonna harp on this too much but the entire pahwraiths storyline was unnecessary and #didnt even fit with the rest of the show like. its a war show. if you wanted this to be anything. #it wouldve had to have been a whole war. not back doors and sneaking around the whole way through #and something that got ended before it started #if the dominion war didnt kill captain sisko what on earth made the writers room think that #a 2 minute scene with him alone in a cave was a fitting end #like. if you wanted to play up the risks of being the emissary #you could've just ended the show with him still fuckin ALIVE but in another vision with them saying theyre not through with him yet #like thats it! thats it!!!! #and then you dont have to break up his marriage or tear him away from his children which is like the worst thing in the world and you wrote #and entire episode about how having him die and having jake left to grown up alone shouldn't happen like. #you really thought that was a fitting end? ok. bye i guess.

[nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice]

We don’t talk enough about “The Beach” in terms of Azula (long essay) 

Okay so, I have not stopped thinking about this episode and how it reveals Azula’s entire self image and how it foreshadows her breakdown. So here’s a deep dive: 

We start the episode off with this premise: for the first time in the series we get to see Azula as a normal teenager. We’ve seen her in combat, we’ve seen her as a political force to be reckoned with, and we’ve seen her within her messed-up family. But in this episode we’re seeing her on vacation. From the beginning of the episode, we think that it’s going to be Zuko on edge (”doing nothing is a waste of time, we’re being sent away on a forced vacation”) and Azula enjoying her time off (”lighten up, so dad wants to meet with his advisors alone, without anyone else around. Don’t take it so personally”). But that doesn’t exactly happen. While by no means does Zuko have an easy time on their ‘forced vacation,’ the episode reveals Azula’s weakness and hidden insecurities and foreshadows her breakdown in the series finale. 

The first thing to consider is what we already know about Azula: we know she’s dangerous, a protegee at firebending, politically charismatic, and ruthless. We know that people will side with her if she wants them to (Ty Lee chooses her over the circus, Mai chooses her over her family, the Dai Li choose her over Long Feng, and Zuko chooses her over Iroh). From her introduction, we know she’s the preferred sibling under Ozai and that she knows that. She’s confident because of that. She knows that she’s chosen over Zuko because she wasn’t banished or burned. And in season 3, she’s still winning because if the Avatar’s alive, then Zuko will be the one to suffer the consequences. She’s playing the game of Fire Nation politics and she’s winning. 

But in The Beach, all fire nation politics are cast aside from the first minute of the episode. While we think that Azula will be competent and charismatic here as she is everywhere else, that ends up not being the case and it reveals her hidden vulnerabilities. 

Another thing we know about Azula is that she’s competitive. Her whole life she was conditioned to think in these terms as her father schemed his way onto the throne and constantly compared her and Zuko (and when Zuko got banished it signified to her that she had firmly won that competition and she was worthy of her father’s ‘love’). And in previous episodes, this competitive streak has  worked in her favor. Her ‘eyes on the prize’ approach let her conquer Ba Sing Se, defeat Aang, and convince Zuko to side with her. But The Beach offers a new territory: one entirely dependent on her personality. And she still views it as a competition, but this time she’s not the clear winner. 

They arrive at the beach and for the first time in the series, people aren’t praising her as royalty or fearing her as an adversary, instead she’s treated like a normal person. We saw this with Zuko in season 2 when he was masquerading as an anonymous Earth Kingdom refugee in The Cave of Two Lovers or Zuko Alone (where people offered him their home and food when all they knew him for was his actions) and when he was masquerading as Lee/Li (where he was offered a position as a Freedom Fighter, treated as a normal tea shop worker, and went on a date with a girl all on the basis of his personality), but we’ve never seen this with Azula. In this episode, she’s relying entirely on her personality to navigate this teenage social world and she doesn’t get the results she expects. 

From her perspective, her friends and brother are succeeding in this environment way more than she is and that makes her extremely uncomfortable. From her perpsecive, Mai and Zuko are completely fine spending time with each other and Ty Lee is getting the attention of half a dozen guys at once. But Azula doesn’t fit in. She sees this whole ‘Being a Teenager Thing’ as a competition that she’s loosing.Ty Lee and Mai are invited to a party and she’s cast aside. Ty Lee attracts the attention of half a dozen guys and the guy she complimented just ignores her. People at the party leave her alone when in reality, she wanted to come in order to see what it would be like for people to treat them as normal. And in a normal setting, she’s rejected. 

Azula has her comfort zone and that comfort zone is winning. There are four instances in the episode where we see her comfortable and confident that reveal how she depends on her combat and political skills for her self image. The first is when she’s being ignore while her friends acclimate to the beach social scene. She demands that they play in a game of volleyball because one, she needs to be in charge in order to feel in control of the situation and two, she thinks that there’s a clear path from winning the volleyball game to gaining social acceptance. This is a thing she can do. She knows she’s physically capable and thinks if she can do this, then she’s succeeding at the whole ‘Being a Teenager’ thing. And she does succeed. We see the victory make her feel better about herself because she winning (”yes, we have defeated you for all time, you will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation... well that was fun”).

The second time we see her comfortable is after she kisses Chan. From her perspective, part of succeeding at the whole ‘Being a Teenager Thing’ is attracting guys, like Ty Lee, and being in a relationship, like Mai and Zuko. This isn’t necessarily something she actually wants, but it’s something that she perceives as an element of winning. So she plays the part of ‘pretty girl who laughs at unfunny jokes’ and kisses the guy she wants to kiss. This is a win in her books and she has her moment of comfort: 

“Together, you and I will be the strongest couple in Fire Nation history. We will dominate the earth!” 

From the offset, this is just a joke at Azula’s expense like the previous one was, but it says a lot about how she views her self-worth. Her default comfort zone is ambitious, political, militaristic. This is her ‘normal’ and when she thinks she’s finally figured out this whole ‘Being a Teenager Thing’ by kissing this guy, she tries to branch over this false persona she’s constructed to please this guy to her actual self and when that happens, she’s rejected and it hurts her. 

The third moment of comfort is during the campfire scene where Azula sees that, no, unlike what she originally thought, her friends are actually dealing with their own issues and aren’t doing so well. What this means to her is that maybe she is winning. Maybe they’re better at the whole ‘Being a Teenager Thing,’ but they have these other issues: neglect, insecurity, and self-hatred and she tells herself ‘I don’t have those problems, so clearly I’m the one winning here.’ She drags out the issues of her friends because she wants to know that no, they aren’t doing as well as she thought they were. She slow claps and says “well, those were wonderful performances everyone” and we see that she feels better in this small group where she’s the one not screaming and crying about her problems. And this is mean, but it’s undeniably rooted in insecurity. Azula needs to feel like the most competent person in the room. She needs to feel in control because she’s grown up in an environment where being the ‘weak one’ meant getting your face burned off and banished. Azula can’t afford vulnerability. She’s never been able to afford vulnerability, so she surrounds herself by people she can control. And so long as she holds the reigns, so long as she’s perceived as the strong one, it means she’s okay. 

But the thing is she does have those problems. Because after those first two moments of comfort, she gets rejected for who she is. She’s not invited to the party because people think she’s intimidating and weird. Chan leaves after he kisses her because she reveals her true colors. There’s only one other episode where we’ve seen someone actively reject Azula’s personality and there’s a moment of vulnerability where she reveals how that rejection shaped her self-image: 

“I could sit here and complain about how our mom liked Zuko more than me, but I don’t really care. My own mother thought I was a monster. She was right of course, but it still hurt.” 

Azula hasn’t had to think of herself in terms of her personality in years because the last person who valued her as a person, not as royalty or a weapon, was her mother. And her mother saw faults in her. Her mother wondered aloud what was wrong with her. Her mother didn’t like her as much as she liked Zuko and that’s something Azula internalized, even if she was able to mask it up with apathy and cruelty. After Ursa left, she was the unequivocal favorite child. She was the talented one. She wasn’t dishonored or banished like Zuko and she held onto that victory because ‘winning’ the competition of ‘favored sibling’ was the closest thing to love that she got. It didn’t matter who she was as a person, it only mattered that she got results, so she focused all her energy there and came out victorious. Her friends stayed loyal to her out of fear for the most part and she knew it, that’s why she had the circus set Ty Lee’s net on fire and why she guilted Mai into not trading her brother for Bumi. She’s convinced herself that “fear is the only reliable way” because she’s never been shown that people can love her for herself. 

The fourth moment of comfort is when she’s commanding the destruction of Chan’s party. In this moment she said ‘screw these people, I’m superior and I know it. I’m the princess of the Fire Nation, I’m stronger, and they are nothing in comparison to me.” 

This is the mentality she’s been conditioned with for years and by the end of the episode, she defaults to it because it makes her feel strong whereas in reality, she failed at the whole ‘Being a Teenager Thing.’ People didn’t like her. She was rejected for the first time in a long time.

And her greatest fear is this rejection. We see it in the Zuko Alone flashbacks, we see it when Mai and Ty Lee betray her in The Boiling Rock, and we see it when she banishes everyone closest to her in Sozin’s Comet. She anticipates rejection and she acts to snip out the people who can reject her before it happens. 

And the tragedy is, it ends up not being enough. Mai and Ty Lee don’t choose her. Ozai decides to leave her out of the invasion. Zuko takes the throne. There’s no longer her father there to please and no more commands to give. For years she was confident and charismatic because she was in control and in the game of Fire Nation politics, she was winning. For Azula’s entire life, winning that game meant you were worth something and losing it meant that you were thrown away. While she was in control of those around her, while they feared and worshiped her, it meant she was winning. 

But the rejection she faces in The Beach foreshadowed her ultimate downfall because when all her influence and control was stripped away, she was all alone. 

#full disclosure I wrote this meta tipsy #oh well #azula #hot leaf meta #atla #zuko #mai #ty lee #the beach #his unroyal majesty bitchlord ozai #ursa #avatar the last airbender

[firelxdykatara]

Touching Zuko’s Scar

It’s entirely possible that someone has written meta on this before, and possibly done it better/more eloquently than I’m about to. However, I have Things To Say and I’m going to say them, and hopefully my point comes across! This post is largely spurred on by a few posts I’ve seen in the tags lately which have... rather baffling takes on the whole ‘who touches Zuko’s scar and why’ situation, particularly in regards to feeling the need, for some reason, to diminish the scene in which Katara touches his scar and the importance of that moment for both of them.

From what I can tell, this was done in an attempt to prop up Maiko, which I suppose makes some amount of sense since that is a ship which can barely stand on its own without tremendous amounts of headcanoning to fill in the gaping holes left by the fact that the entirety of their relationship development happened off-screen (and the glimpse we do get into it in the ‘going home’ midquel comic leaves a lot to be desired in terms of why Zuko would even want to be with her, but that’s another discussion entirely). But it still doesn’t quite fit, because the scenes with Katara and with Song are so much more meaningful, both in terms of Zuko’s arc and the way the girls relate to him (and it also ties into Katara feeling so hurt by Zuko’s betrayal, and needing more than any of the others before she can forgive and accept him into the gaang).

Now, that out of the way, I do want to say up front that the intention here is not to be particularly anti Maiko, but to examine the situations in which Zuko’s scar is touched (or almost touched), and the similarities two of these scenes have which are not shared by the third (at which point, you’re obviously free to draw your own conclusions).

Also, please bear with me--I can’t take screenshots or anything, so I’ll reference scenes and the episodes they come from but there won’t be images.

Under a cut bc this got long

To start off, there are three moments in the entire series where a character touches, or tries to touch, Zuko’s scar with her hand. (I say ‘her’ because all three instances occur with girls near Zuko’s own age.) The first moment is in The Cave of Two Lovers, the second episode of book two--this is the moment where Song sees Zuko’s scar, recognizes it for the intentional burn from a firebender that it is, and reaches for it.

Song: Can I join you? I know what you’ve been through. We’ve all been through it. [looks at Zuko’s scar] The Fire Nation has hurt you. [she slowly reaches for his scar, but before she can touch it, Zuko grabs her wrist and stops her; she puts her hand back in her lap] It’s ok. They’ve hurt me too. [pulls up the leg of her pants to reveal the burn scars there]

The second moment comes at the end of book 2, in The Crossroads of Destiny, in a moment that is a deliberate parallel of Zuko’s connection with Song--but this time, he lets Katara touch him.

Katara: [she holds up a vial] This is water from the spirit oasis at the North Pole. It has special properties, so I’ve been saving it for something important. [moves closer to Zuko, standing in front of him] I don’t know if it would work, but... [Zuko closes his eyes, and Katara’s fingers touch his scar; the scene holds there as the music swells, before they’re interrupted]

Like Song did, Katara felt a connection to Zuko via a similar trauma he suffered. However, unlike Song, Katara knew who Zuko was--the banished prince of the Fire Nation, and someone who had been her enemy for most of the past several months. However, she still feels compassion and empathy for him, and it is for this reason that she takes his subsequent choice harder than anyone else in the gaang does (and why it takes more for him to earn her forgiveness).

Now, the third moment is... rather incongruous. There is neither compassion nor understanding involved in touching his scar, there is no real emotional connection, and it comes right on the heels of his girlfriend--someone we’re supposed to believe cares about him and his emotional wellbeing, since they’re in a relationship (which happened off-screen, but I digress)--shutting down his attempt to talk about his feelings, something that will present a conflict in their relationship later on.

Mai: [yawns] I just asked if you were cold, I didn’t ask for your whole life story. [she moves forward, smirking, and then chuckles, putting one arm around his neck and pulling his face towards her with her other hand] Stop worrying. [they kiss, and then Mai walks away, leaving Zuko to stare out at the horizon again; the wiki transcript says he looks relieved, but to me he looks resigned more than anything]

What’s interesting about this moment is, for one thing, it’s unclear if Mai is even supposed to be touching his scar at all. Giancarlo Volpe, the director for this episode, put the original storyboards for the scene up on his DeviantArt, and in them, it seems he was fairly careful to make sure Mai was not touching Zuko’s scar. This would make sense, considering that touching Zuko’s scar was presented as a very big deal--he specifically prevented a girl from touching his scar in the beginning of book 2, and at the end, he allowed another girl to touch him, showcasing vulnerability and trust in that moment. It is the culmination of one small part of his character arc, and that makes the moment that Katara touches his scar even more meaningful.

Of course, I can’t say definitively that it was an animation mistake or something that was deliberately changed during production (which, considering there is a moment later in the book where Bryke mandated a change, isn’t outside the realm of possibility), but it does present interesting implications.

However, even if you take the scene at face value and assume that Mai was intended to be touching his scar....it’s still presented in an entirely different framework than the previous two scenes, despite occurring almost immediately after Zuko’s moment with Katara in the caves (at least as far as episode count).

The different framework being, of course, the fact that it.... doesn’t mean anything at all.

In the first two scenes, Zuko’s scar and his pain--as well as the pain of the girls who are forging an empathic connection with him based on understanding each other’s trauma--is the focus. Touching, or attempting to touch, Zuko’s scar is the point--it is very deliberate, and there’s no way to argue against it because the writing is very explicit, and nothing else would make sense for those scenes. On the other hand, you could take out the moment where Mai touches Zuko’s scar and lose absolutely nothing--because the focus is not on Zuko, but rather on the fact that he was attempting to open up emotionally to his girlfriend (and note that this is the first indication we get in the show that they are together--take out the kiss completely and no one would even know they’re dating, let alone supposedly like one another even as friends), and was shut down with a sarcastic quip, ostensibly because Mai simply didn’t want to hear it. (This is in keeping with her later characterization, where she would much rather distract him and keep him from actually talking about any of his problems, but @araeph goes into the nature of Mai and Zuko’s emotional intimacy [or lack thereof] in much greater detail in this essay, so I won’t get too deep into it here.)

Mai touching Zuko’s scar doesn’t mean anything to the audience because it doesn’t mean anything to Zuko. He doesn’t react to or acknowledge it in any way, it’s as if he doesn’t even notice it happening (perhaps because it wasn’t supposed to? but again that’s speculation), and nothing in the scene would change if it didn’t. It simply doesn’t matter. On the other hand, Song nearly touching Zuko’s scar and then Katara actually touching his scar? They matter to him--and to the show, and therefore the audience--very much. Both moments are incredibly important to Zuko’s overall arc, because together, they show how far he had come in his own emotional journey over the course of the book.

Of course, it isn’t enough to keep him from choosing to side with Azula, because his journey was far from complete--but the fact that he was able to show such trust and vulnerability to a girl who had been his enemy not very long ago? That was huge. Because Zuko didn’t just let Katara touch his scar--he closed his eyes. She could have hurt him in that moment, but he trusted that she wouldn’t. He trusted that she was willing to use special water she’d been saving for something important--and he trusted that, in that moment, he was important to her.

It wasn’t just Zuko showing trust either, though--Katara showed trust in him. She trusted, after a few minutes of conversation and learning about the loss of his mother (and, specifically, the fact that the Fire Nation was responsible for the loss of his mother, just as it was responsible for the loss of hers), that he had changed--that he was different, and she could trust him. She was willing to use the spirit water she’d been carrying around for months on someone who had recently been so much an enemy that she fled from the tea shop, convinced that he’d somehow infiltrated the city and was planning something.

The fact that she trusted him in that moment is exactly why she took his next choice so hard, but it is also why their relationship cemented itself so solidly after The Southern Raiders, giving them quite possibly the strongest relationship in the gaang outside of Katara and Sokka.

Anyway, that was a lot of words for what essentially amounts to this: Song attempting to touch Zuko’s scar in the beginning of book 2 is explicitly paralleled by Katara being allowed to touch his scar at the end of it, and both moments occur during scenes where Zuko’s pain and trauma are acknowledged and validated, and where the person he’s speaking with feels a connection to him because of that shared trauma--because they understand what he has been through. It’s likewise important to note that while Song didn’t actually entirely understand, because she didn’t know who Zuko was or what being traumatized by the Fire Nation actually meant to him, Katara did--and she still was able to feel for him, connect to him, and want to help him.

By contrast, the moment with Mai occurs in a scene where Zuko’s pain and trauma are invalidated and dismissed, where his girlfriend attempts to distract him rather than help him through what is clearly a moment of great emotional turmoil. No, she shouldn’t have to be his therapist, but emotional support is vital in any relationship--especially when one party is traumatized and desperately needs support and love--and it is notably lacking from Maiko, starting from their very first romantic scene together.

Make of that what you will.

#atla #zutara #zuko #katara #mai #song #maiko salt #just covering my bases #atla meta #zutara meta

[that-sw-writer]

Intoxicated pt 2?!? ;)

Ayo this was so fun to write, I’ve love doing this mini-series!  Also thanks for being patient, I know it took me a while to write!

And shoutout to @wasntpriscilla for suggesting some of the scenes in this!

PART ONE | MASTERLIST

Summary: With you and Kylo spending more and more time together, the other Knights of Ren predictably notice, and they can’t help but meddle.

Word count: 3520

Warnings: some minor violence, alcohol consumption, drunk sex but this time with feelings

Intoxicated II

"So you and Master Ren-" Trudgen's voice cut through the action as you pushed your double-bladed scimitar through the chest of another Resistance officer, "-what's going on there?"

"Now?"  You briefly turned to him, your deadpan expression covered by your helmet, "you want to do this now?"

"Well we got bored of asking you during training sessions."  Cardo quipped in the midst of the fight.

"Funnily enough, nothing has changed since you asked me yesterday... and the day before, and the day before that too."  You drawled, spinning your weapon over your head before sinking it into another officer.

It had been a few months since your drunken night with Kylo Ren.  Since then, the two of you had been spending most nights together.  At first it had just been sex, but now there was something deeper there.  Some nights you would sneak into his quarters and just stay up talking to him all night.

Of course, it had taken no time at all for the knights to catch onto this budding relationship between you and Kylo, although neither of you saw it that way.  You weren't in love with him, and he wasn't in love with you, you were just friends... friends with a few benefits thrown in.  But the knights could see it, even if you and Kylo couldn't - they could see how hopelessly in love with each other you really were.

Naturally, your brothers were trying to push the two of your together, but every time they seemed to fail.

"So you're telling me that you're not going to his quarters tonight?"  Ap'lek chimed in with an accusing tone.

"I don't need to go to his quarters tonight."  You tried to play it off.

"Ah, but that doesn't mean you won't go!"  He concluded.

"Which obviously means that you will go."  Ushar was next to interject.

"Fine, if I have to prove to you that there's nothing going on between us, then I won't-" you were cut off when the last Resistance officer standing swung a huge war hammer at your face, catching your helmet and sending you flying to the ground.

Kuruk swept in and killed the man, whilst Vicrul moved to help you up.

Your ears were ringing as Vicrul pulled you to your feet, and you were quick to remove your helmet.

"Shit, he's gonna kill us."  Kuruk grumbled, placing a gloved hand under your chin to bring your face upwards for him to inspect.

"What?"  You groggily asked as the other knights also gathered around to get a look at the damage, "is it bad?"

"You don't look concussed."  Ushar added, which was a relief considering you felt slightly dizzy.

"Forget concussed Ushar, there's no hiding the giant scratch across her face from Master Ren."  Clearly going into panic-mode, Cardo elbowed his brother.

"It's just a scratch."  You snorted, "chill out, I'm fine.  He won't care."  With that you began to dizzily walk back towards the ship now that your work wiping out this Resistance post was done.

The knights all exchanged a glance, silently acknowledging that it certainly wouldn't be okay before they followed you.

When you landed back on the Finalizer, you were in the refresher trying to clean some of the dried bloody from the scratch up a bit.  It wasn't as bad as it had looked, and you figured it would heal in a couple a days.  The knights meanwhile were gathered around the boarding ramp as Kylo stormed on board.

"Don't get comfortable, I need you to go back out and-" he paused, looking at them all, "-where's Y/N?"  He asked, his tone immediately shifting to a darker one.

"She's definitely alive, if that's what you're asking."  Cardo was first to speak up, met by a swift elbow from Vicrul.

"What Cardo means to say is that she's just in the refresher."  Vicrul tried to calmly explain, despite the fact that none of them were calm.

"Man I need a nap, my head is killing me."  You stifled a yawn as you emerged from behind the knights, stopping when you saw everyone staring at you, Kylo included.  "What?  Did I miss a spot?"  You innocently asked, rubbing at the scratch on your face to see if there was any blood leftover.

"What happened?"  Kylo's voice came out as a loud bark as he stormed over to you, gloved hand immediately coming to gently trace the wound.

"Nothing happened."  You scoffed, "it's just a scratch."

Without another word he turned to the knights with an expectant look on his face, and they of course immediately caved.

"One of the Resistance officers clocked her with a war hammer."  Ushar admitted, and they all knew Kylo would likely scold them later.  You meanwhile really didn't understand the fuss.

"Med-bay, right now."  He huffed, grabbing your wrist and attempting to pull you away with him.  "The rest of you prepare to take off again, I'll be back in a minute with your orders."

"There is no way in the kriffing galaxy that you're leaving me here!"  You struggled until eventually Kylo stopped walking and released your wrist.

"You're injured, you can't go."  He was being stubborn as ever, but you did wonder why he worried about you so much.

"It's a scratch Ky- Master Ren, I'm fine."  You were quick to correct yourself before your brothers could tease you for calling him Kylo.

He also sensed the impending teasing from the knights, because they full well knew that he wouldn't overreact like this if it were anybody else.  Exhaling a sigh, he took a second to calculate things before he cleared his throat and stood upright.  "Fine, all of you prepare the ship, and don't leave without me."  He ordered.

"You're coming with us?"  Trudgen asked, raising an eyebrow.  It was clearly a snap-second decision on Kylo's part, and everyone except you could tell that he was obviously only coming to keep an eye on you.

"Yes."  He plainly answered, storming off towards his quarters and leaving them all alone on board.

"Someone's in love, and it's Master Ren."  Trudgen muttered to his brothers, and they all nodded in agreement.

Kylo returned a few minutes later, seemingly ready to go.

"Did you pack an extra shirt Master Ren?  Y/N might need it."  Ap'lek snorted, and the other knights' laughter all followed like a pack of hyenas.

"She's already wandered off with half of my wardrobe, she doesn't need more."  He took the teasing in his stride, as usual, and once again left you stood in the corner wondering how the hell things had ended up being like this.

><><><><><><><><><><

The mission was simple, well it should have been.

You were on a small planet in the outer rim called Catheela, looking for yet another Sith artefact that Kylo insisted he needed.  You had no issue tracking it down, but the harsh climate meant that you could only travel during the day - at night the environment got so cold that anyone left outside wouldn't survive until morning.

After a long time of desperate searching, you thought you would have to trek all the way back to The Night Buzzard to sleep, but you eventually stumbled across a fairly large cabin in the undergrowth.  Inside there was just about enough room to fit you all in for a night, but a large lounging area with a fire-pit was the real win.

Whilst you helped Cardo and Ushar light a fire, the others did the usual routine of looking for food.  They found a few pieces of dried fruit which were edible, but once again it seemed to be mostly a liquid dinner, with bottles of liquor being passed around.

Once you were all sat around the blazing fire, you took your first sip.  The liquor had a smoky taste to it and burned its way all down your throat.

"That's disgusting."  You grumbled.

"Just think Y/N, the more you drink, the less you'll taste it."  Trudgen shrugged, reminding you of the cardinal rule when it came to drinking.

You took Trudgen's words to heart and forced a lot of that liquor down you, until eventually the taste dulled down to nothing, which meant that you were a suitable level of drunk.

As usual, the question game started with the same rules as always: you can ask any question no matter how probing, and if the person doesn't answer they have to drink, which usually means they'll get themselves drunk enough to answer later.

You noticed Kylo's gaze fixating on you very frequently, but considering you were both beyond tipsy he was probably just trying to work out if he was going to get laid tonight or not.

The rest of the knights were being suspiciously well behaved.  Over the past few months every single question had been about you and Master Ren, but tonight they seemed to almost be shying away from the topic... could it be because he was there with you all?  Or was it that they were just biding their time and waiting until you were both drunk enough to actually answer their questions?

You didn't have to wait long to get your answer, because you gave your own drunken state away when Kuruk finally directed a question at Kylo.

"Master Ren, what would you say is your biggest weakness?"

"Unhooking bras."  The words tumbled from your mouth before you could even process them, and you immediately grimaced at Kylo who was sat next to you.  He looked like you had just betrayed him.

Silence fell in the room for a moment, but it was quickly broken by a poorly stifled laugh from Trudgen which then immediately was followed by all of the knights breaking into howls of laughter.

You were used to being the one of the receiving end of the teasing, so just for once it felt nice to be making fun of Kylo rather than vice versa.

"That's it, I know you can't win this game, but Y/N just did."  Trudgen cackled through his words.

"Master Ren can kill people without lifting a finger but gets defeated by a bra clasp!"  Ap'lek snorted, and they all erupted into even more laughter at that.  Even you were trying to stifle your laughter, because Kylo was still glaring at you.

"Maybe now we're even?"  You tried to suggest, your words being broken by the infectious laughter.

"Y/N used to have a fantasy about having sex on The Night Buzzard."  Kylo suddenly blurted out, his tone remaining level as ever.

The knights were all immediately silenced by that, staring at you with their jaws practically on the floor, you meanwhile shot Kylo daggers with your eyes and he just glanced at you, a smug look on his face.

"Now we're even."  He leaned across to whisper in your ear.

The laughter rose again, but was cut short this time by Cardo's voice, "wait, why did you said 'used to?'"

Knowing that Kylo would pull no punches now, you took a long swig of your drink.  He simply shrugged, smirking as he also took a long drink.

"You didn't-" Ushar gaped, clearly none of them wanting to believe the obvious.  But your fearless leader was enjoying how much he had just managed to embarrass you.

"No..."  You awkwardly tried to say, your tone wavering.

"You are such a liar."  Kylo snorted and you elbowed him in return, something you probably never would have done sober and in front of the other knights.  Even though Kylo knew you were lying because he had been there, you all knew each other well enough to tell what was a lie and what wasn't.

"Man that's disgusting!"  Cardo whined.

Revelations about your sex life aside, the game continued.  Now that the knights knew both you and Kylo were drunk enough to openly answer their questions they began to throw some probing ones your way.

It started subtle:

"Y/N, how many nights a week do you stay in Master Ren's quarters?"

And then became a bit more personal:

"Master Ren, have you slept with anyone else since the first time you slept with Y/N?"

You had both answered these questions, but eventually the other knights all started whispering amongst themselves, causing you and Kylo to exchange a suspicious glance.

"What?"  He eventually prompted, and they all looked at you both like deer caught in headlights.

"We uh- we were just coming up with another question."  Vicrul said with a lopsided grin on his face.  You were clearly all far beyond tipsy at this point.

"Go on then."  Kylo snorted, his own drunken state becoming very clear by how vocal he was being.

They all looked at each other, clearly silently deciding who would be bold enough to ask the question that they had been planning on asking all night.

"Y/N, are you in love?"  Of course they had targeted you rather than Kylo.  But you knew the answer, you weren't in love at all... were you?

You cast your mind back to the countless mornings spent in Kylo's quarters, and your reluctance to leave.  You found yourself wanting to spend time with him, not just for sex but because you enjoyed his company.  You thought about all the little glances you would exchange during training sessions, and even though the other knights would constantly tease you, they had certainly noticed how much happier both you and Kylo had been.  Even earlier that very day he had been so worried about a simple scratch on your face - because he cared.

Were you in love with Kylo Ren?  You had spent so long assuming that you weren't that you had completely missed the truth staring you right in the face.

"Well, are you?"  Vicrul prompted, and you forced your brain to refocus on the scenario at hand.

"I-" you hesitated, feeling your heart racing.  You ventured a glance at Kylo, and his expression was just as curious as the knights'.  You wondered what he was thinking, whether he was hoping you would say yes or no.  You couldn't risk baring your soul in front of them all, you had barely processed your emotions yourself - so you lied.

"No," you snorted, taking a long swig of your drink, "Master Ren barely puts up with me as it is."  You attempted to play it off, but you weren't fooling anyone as silence befell the room.  You caught Kylo's gaze, and you both just stared at each other, wishing you could read him.

"Y'know what, I'm exhausted."  Ushar broke through the silence, rising to his feet, clearly a bit wobbly.

Faking a yawn, Ap'lek followed, "yep, I think we need to turn in for the night."

"Are you kidding?  This is just getting good."  Kuruk mumbled, but was met with a gentle kick from Vicrul who pulled him to his feet.

Knowing they had orchestrated this entire situation, the knights were quick to shove each other out of the living area and into separate bedrooms.  They obviously knew you better than you and Kylo knew yourselves, there had been no way either of you would ever had admitted to any feelings whilst sober, but drunk was a different story.

Suddenly it was just the two of you, drunk, and sitting by the dimming fire.

"You lied."  He finally said, "you thought I wouldn't notice?"

"I don't know what I thought."  You exhaled a dry laugh, "until about five minutes ago I believed my own lie."

"If they'd asked me, I probably would have lied too."  He admitted, his voice slurring ever so slightly, "it probably doesn't look good for me to have favourites."

"Are you saying I'm your favourite Knight of Ren?"  You teased him, giving him a gentle nudge as you tried to lighten the mood and distract yourself from the fact that you had just subtly admitted that you're in love with Kylo Ren.

"I'm only saying that if you promise not to tell anyone."  He flashed you a sloppy grin, and you laughed in response.

"I think they already know... they seem to know how we feel before we do."  You pointed out.

"True."  He exhaled a short chuckle before rising to his feet, managing to not stumble as he did so.  "Come on, we had better at least get some sleep before setting off tomorrow."  He said, reaching out a hand for you to take.

You allowed him to haul you to your feet, at which point you crashed into his chest, definitely not having expected to be as wobbly on your feet as you were.  Taking this as an opportunity, Kylo swept you up and threw you over his shoulder.

"Kriffing hell Kylo, what are you doing?"  You huffed, giving him a firm smack on his back for taking you by surprise.

"Going to bed, what are you doing?"  He laughed at his own humour, the staple of drunk Kylo Ren.

"Apparently being kidnapped."  You drawled, sarcasm dripping from your tone.

He just exhaled a short laugh at this before going into the only room which still had its door open and tossing you onto the bed.  It was much colder being away from the fire, but still just about bearable.

Kylo followed suit and was soon crawling on top of you and capturing your lips in a hungry, drunken kiss, and from there it didn't take you long to warm up.  He tore your clothes off and vice versa, but was cautious to regularly keep a hand clamped over your mouth - the walls were thin, and the last thing either of you needed was for the knights to hear the two of you going at it.

When you finally did go to sleep, you were just drifting off in Kylo's arms when you unmistakably heard him mumble those three little words: "I love you."

After pausing for a beat and shaking yourself back to reality, you quietly replied, "I love you too."

It wasn't until morning broke and you woke up still in his grip that you regained some clarity of everything that had actually happened last night.  But unlike your first drunken encounter, you didn't suddenly feel awkward and embarrassed.

Kylo had said he loved you, and you had said it back.  In all honesty, it felt good to have gotten that off your chest.

"Morning."  He grumbled, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to where you shoulder met your neck.

"Hey."  You groggily replied, wriggling in bed to turn around and face him, "sleep well?"

"I've slept worse."  He smirked slightly, "but we can't afford a lie in this morning."  He pointed out before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips and climbing out of bed.

With a reluctant sigh you followed him, both of you silently dressing yourselves before leaving the room together to find the knights, who were predictably up earlier than you both and all in the living area.

"Well good morning."  With a teasing smirk on his face, Ap'lek was the first to address you.

They all looked slightly hungover, but a majority of your missions ended with hangovers, so you were all used to it by now.

"Did you sleep well?"  Kuruk asked, before Cardo added.

"It sounded like you slept well."  He snorted.

Both you and Kylo exchanged a glance as embarrassment washed over you.  Of course, he took it in his stride as usual.

"At least I tried to keep it down."  He shrugged, nonchalantly walking to the cupboards to search for food.

"And I..." you paused, "I just didn't realise the walls were that thin."  You admitted, rubbing the back of your neck.

The usual relentless teasing continued over breakfast, but the elephant in the room was obviously still lurking.  The knights wanted to know if their big plan to have you both realise your feelings for each other had worked or not.

They didn't outwardly ask you, but they more-or-less got their answer when you split into two teams to recover the artefact later that day.

"If she comes back with so much as a scratch on her, I swear-" Kylo warned Kuruk, Trudgen and Vicrul, who were going with your team.

"Kylo, I'll be fine.  You need to stop worrying about me, it's showing a bit too much favouritism."  You teased him, eyebrows being raised by the other knights.

"Fine, but just promise me you'll be careful."  He mumbled, only just in earshot of everyone else.  He leaned in and pressed a short kiss to your lips, both of you still revelling in the high of actually realising your feelings for one another.

"I promise I'll-" the feeling of six gazes burning a hole into the back of your head caused you to stop speaking and turn around to face your brothers.

All six of them stood with big grins on their faces, all staring at you.

"Ap'lek, you owe me fifty credits.  I told you they'd never admit that they love each other sober."  Cardo snorted, elbowing his brother.

"And you owe me seventy credits, because I told you they'd be placing bets on us."  You then smugly looked up at Kylo, who just rolled his eyes.

"I hate you all."  Kylo just grumbled in response.

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x y/n #kylo x reader #kylo x you #kylo x y/n

[satoshi-mochida]

Some thoughts on my last Gamefly rental, Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot.

*Though most people are familiar with DBZ, especially the three main Sagas in this game, given how often they’re played out in games, I’ll put a spoiler warning here just in case. Also, I didn’t try out the DLC stories, yet, so this will just be about the base PS4 game with it’s current updates. I may buy the game and try those out in the future. I also say a lot about the game.

The game spans from the Saiyan Saga to the end of the Buu Saga(not counting DLC). Pretty much every important scene is played through, though a few parts are skimmed over or skipped, like:

Goku traveling Snake Way, his brief fall into Hell, and training with King Kai(shown a bit and mentioned but not playable) 

Piccolo using Hellzone Grenade against Android 17(you can have him learn the move and do it yourself, though).

Future Trunks’ battle with Cell where he found out the speed-loss disadvantages of Super Saiyan Third Grade(that moment isn’t shown or mentioned, though he does still fight Cell in that form)

Vegito still attacking Super Buu after being turned into candy(which means we don’t get to see him beating Super Buu up as a high-speed jawbreaker). Also, Goku and Vegeta freeing everyone trapped inside Super Buu happens offscreen.

And possibly a few smaller moments. They aren’t too important in the long run, though, plus some were probably for better pacing or something.

There was some added stuff, too:

Several times, you’ll be able to meet, and occasionally do sidequests for, several older Dragon Ball characters, like Nam, Eighter and Launch.

A new fight for Goku against Kid Buu to end the main story before he launches the Super Spirit Bomb at him.

There's a fairly small amount of playable characters(who can also be put in a party as Support Members): 

Goku

Gohan

Vegeta

Piccolo

Future Trunks(Android/Cell Saga and Epilogue, only)

Gotenks(only in two battles against Super Buu)

Vegito(in one battle against Super Buu, which, considering how powerful Vegito is, is more of an epic beatdown than a fight)

And a few characters that are support only:

Krillin

Tien

Yamcha

Chiaotzu

Goten

Kid Trunks

Android 18

All characters, Main and Support Only, have a ‘Super Attack Skill Tree’ that you can use Z Orbs that you find/earn to give them new skills and attacks. What you can get increases based on the character’s level and story progress(example, you can’t get Super Saiyan 2 for Gohan until he unlocks it during the fight with Perfect Cell).

Throughout the game, you’ll collect ‘Soul Emblems’ to place onto several ‘Community Boards’ to increase various ingame bonuses, like more EXP or cooking benefits. You get Soul Emblems both from the main story and side quests. They can be leveled up with Gifts to increase the Community Level, giving more bonuses. This seems to be the best setup for all of the emblems that I found.

At campfires and at Goku’s House, you can make food from items/materials you have to give yourself a stat boost. And Chi-Chi can be asked to make the party Full Course Meals at her home, which also increase the Base Stats of whoever eats them.

A certain filler episode from the original series where Goku and Piccolo are forced to get a Driver's License also happens in this game(though unfortunately without the outfits they wore in said episode). After doing so, you unlock the ability to make cars and battle walkers from Bulma, as well as Time Attacks for both types of vehicles(which I didn’t do much of).

Like the first Budokai game, this one has story’s events shown in cutscenes, which the later ones just had them happen in dialogue to speed things along, probably. And they did a really good job of animated said scenes, matching the look and feel of the series VERY closely.

The flying also feels well done, and true to the series. Aside from flying normally, which is fairly slow, you can hit L3 to start flying faster, at the cost of your Ki slowly going down and not being able to sense Ki with R1. This is the best way to travel the the large maps. Goku and Gohan can also use the Flying Nimbus, though you can’t pick up items that you need to hit Circle while doing so. Also, ramming into weaker enemies while flying will defeat them instantly and give you EXP. It’s a bit hard to aim yourself at enemies correctly, sometimes, though. 

Going underwater functions the same as flying, except with an air meter to keep an eye on. If it runs out, you get kicked back above where you entered the water as the only penalty. Take a peek down under whatever bodies of water you find; there’s always stuff to see and collect, depending on the map, especially on maps with oceans.

You can also dash on the ground by hitting L3, and unlike when flying, you can still sense Ki while doing so. 

I feel like this game’s flying controls are about what it should feel like for a Superman game. Probably might need a few tweaks to fit more with that series, but this feels like a good base for that kind of game.

The game’s many maps are pretty large, with lots to see and explore, including towns, caves that you need to be a certain level to enter, materials to gather, fishing spots, and more. They include plenty of well known DBZ locations, insulting Kame House(and the ocean around it), West City and Capsule Corp., Korin’s Tower and Kami’s Lookout, and so on.

Floating around these maps are enemies you can fight. They grow in strength as you do/the story progresses. If you’re strong enough and are fast-flying when running into an enemy, you’ll defeat it and gain EXP right away.

Speaking of Korin’s Tower, you can eventually unlock the ability to grow Senzu Beans there, which fully heal you. Once they’re unlocked, they will gradually grow and can be collected from Korin, with a Senzu Bean icon appearing next to it on the World Map if there’s any available. He will hold up to 9 at once, so check back once in a while.

Fishing is pretty easy to do; just hit one of the face buttons(X, Triangle, Square and Circle) when the marker is in a marked area, then hot one again when the closing circle is within another marked circle(this might make more sense when you see it yourself). You’ll get items for cooking from fishing, and some sidequests need them, or just certain types of fish, to clear. An amusing detail when fishing is that Goku and Gohan, even when he’s a teenager, use a fake tail as a lure while Vegeta and Piccolo fish like normal people(I forgot to check and see what Future Trunks does, but probably the latter).

After clearing the Frieza Saga, you can collect the Dragon Balls on Earth during Intermissions. They give off a small orange slow when sensing for Ki, and you’ll hear a low humming sound when you’re close to one. You can get several different wishes from them, with three of them always being for Z Orbs, Zeni or Rare Material Items. Other wishes are reviving certain dead characters to fight them again, and can only be done once, unlike the three listed above. At first, you can only make 1 wish at a time, but as the game goes on, it gets upgraded to 2 then 3 wishes at once. After making a wish(s), you ‘ll need to wait 20 ingame minutes before the Dragon Balls can be found and used again. They seems to have a couple set locations on whatever map they end up on(two locations are west of Orange/Satan City, for example).

Speaking of Mr. Satan...I know that his actually Japanese stage name, but I always end up calling him Hercule due to hearing that for so many years(and just liking how that sounds better). Also, ‘Satan City’ just sounds really funny. XD

You probably won’t need to really grind in the base game; you should get enough experience from doing sidequests and story events to get by. Gohan especially; he ended up quite a few more levels than everyone else just from the story EXP alone, and his Unleashed Potential ‘form’ from Elder Kai makes him do quite a lot more damage. Also, gained experience is shared among all party members, even those not currently set to fight.

One of the sidequests you can do throughout the game is defeating ‘Villainous Enemies’, who are fairly strong, and are covered in a red aura. You should at least be at or around their level before fighting them, since you can’t run from fights in this game. It may be best to do them during Intermissions when you can select your party members, and bringing someone who can stun with Solar Flare(like Krillin), can be really helpful. 

In the epilogue/postgame, in addition to being able to play as Future Trunks(talk to him outside of Capsule Corp.), you can also use his time machine to redo Boss fights, and do any sidequests you may have missed.

The game’s opening has the old opening for the show, ‘Cha-La-Head-Cha-La”, and this is the first time I really listened to it. It’s really good, and kind of reminds me of the opening to Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon, too, for some reason.

There’s a few parts where there’s some nice attention to the series’ details:

At several story points when Saiyan characters are healed, like with Senzu Beans or the healing pod on Namek, they gain experience, while others, like Krillin, don’t get that bonus, which does make them, admittedly accurately, start lagging behind in strength.

If you use Ki Sense on Androids, and a certain researcher in Capsule Corp., you won’t see anything emitting from them.

If you have Piccolo and/or Android 18 in your party while eating a Full Course Meal from Chi-Chi, they won’t eat any of it. Saiyan characters(again, forgot to check Future Trunks) eat it ravenously(even Vegeta), while human party members eat normally.

Only Goku and Gohan can use the Flying Numbus.

These aren’t really important observations, but some events in the game made me think:

Did Piccolo destroying the Moon to stop Gohan’s Great Ape form have any effects on Earth? Or did nothing really happen?

How in the world did Supreme Kai and Babidi survive being so close to Majin Vegeta when he used Final Explosion while Piccolo and Krillin hightailed it out of there with Goten and Kid Trunks? 

I noticed a possible(intentional) goof at the end. In the cutscene after beating Kid Buu and going back to Kami’s Lookout to reunite with everyone, Dende is a kid again for some reason. Apparently, both the original anime and manga made this goof too, so maybe it’s a nod to that? It is kind of jarring, though. XD

A couple technical issues I found were that sometimes when loading a map, and in some battles later on, the game would hang for a couple seconds, and one time it crashed while it was loading into an area after traveling to another. Thank goodness for autosave. Also, be careful using the stronger version of Goku’s Spirit Bomb attacks; it caused major lag for me a couple times.

This ended up being one of my favorite DBZ games that I’ve played, close runners up including 

Budokai 3

Budokai Tenkaichi 2(mainly for just how many characters that one has, including most of the movies from around that time, outmatched by Budokai Tenkaichi 3, which I didn’t play)

Legacy of Goku 2(I didn’t get the chance to play Buu’s Fury back then)

Next game being sent is: Nitroplus Blasterz: Heroines Infinite Duel

#Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot #Dragon Ball Z #Thoughts on my rentals

[heyitsani]

Let Down My Guard

Omega!Dick Week Day 2: Reverse!Robins

Word Count: 2926

Rating: Mature-ish

Warnings: Threats of non-con (nothing graphic) and Robincest (obviously)

Pairing: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd

Summary: Dick’s scent blockers fail him on patrol when he’s out alone and brings a predator his way.  

Notes: Day two and the one story for the week that doesn’t fit the rest of the series.  The non-con-ish scene happens in the very beginning so the entire story is under the cut to avoid triggering anyone who might stumble upon this post.  The ages/codenames of the Robins are as follows:

Damian Wayne: Sparrow 28

Tim Drake: Red Hood 25

Jason Todd: Phoenix 18

Dick Grayson: Robin 16

You can also read this on AO3 here

“Here birdie, birdie, birdie,” the voice called out, chilling Dick to his very bones.  He knew who the man was calling for.  He knew that somehow his scent blockers had stopped working and the dirty alpha had caught his scent.  He also knew he was cornered.  He had nowhere to go and unless one of the Bats answered his distress call soon, he was so very screwed.  Perhaps quite literally.  “I know you’re around here somewhere, birdie.  Can smell you.  Like,” there was a pause and Dick assumed he was taking a deep breath, “like honey and spice.  Do taste as tempting as you smell?”

And that was something the sixteen-year-old had no intention of letting this man find out.

He wished he knew if someone was on their way, but the sharp screech in his ear earlier and told him something had gone wrong with his comm unit and now he was just stuck.  Stuck hoping and praying to a god he didn’t believe in to save him from a fate he had saved so many others from over his years of being Robin.

There was no out for him.  And suddenly Dick to felt weaker than he had ever felt in his life.  Weaker than he had felt watching his parents fall to their deaths those years ago.  A glance above him told him there was no way for him to get to the roof and to safety without his grapple.  And since the snapping line was what had caught the attention of the alpha to begin with, he was stuck.  And he was scared.  And his head and his knee hurt from his fall.

“You might as well just come out from your hiding spot little birdie.  Make it easier on both of us.”  Closing his eyes, Dick tried to pull his scent back in a bit to put the man off just a little longer.  The closeness of his voice was enough to make his hands shake in terror.  “I won’t bite…too hard.”  And Dick could practically see the sneer on the man’s face.

“Is that so?”  Oh, thank god, Damian.  “Perhaps you didn’t get the memo, but that’s not how things go here in Gotham.”  Dick jumped when a shadow jumped down next to him from the roof and immediately, he fell in a defensive crouch.  He wasn’t going to go down without a fight.

“It’s just me Baby Bird,” the electronic sound of Tim’s voice modifier in his helmet was a bigger comfort than most would have thought, and Dick felt his muscles relax as he threw himself into his older brother’s chest.  There was a click, but instead of trying to find the source of the noise, Dick just buried his face in the armor-plated shirt Tim wore as part of his Red Hood suit.  “Are you hurt?  You smell hurt.”

“Nothing dangerous, just so fucking glad you guys are here,” he muttered into Tim’s chest.  He relaxed further when one of Tim’s arms wrapped around his back and held onto him.  Dick could hear scuffling in the background and a pained yelp, and he knew it was Sparrow taking down the alpha who had put them in this situation.

“Robin,” the edge of Damian’s voice caused him to pull his face away from Tim’s chest and look over at his brother.  “Are you hurt?  Did he…?”  Dick shook his head quickly and though it took a moment, Damian eventually nodded and looked back at the entrance of the alleyway where the alpha had cornered him.  “Hood and I have Robin.  We are heading back to the cave.  Tell Phoenix he’s fine.”

That caught Dick’s attention.  “Why didn’t he come with?”

“Come, Robin.  You shall ride with me.”  Looking from Damian to Tim, Dick frowned.  He was going to demand an answer but stopped when Tim shook his head.  “Robin.”  The sharpness to Damian’s tone caused Dick to flinch.  Rare was the moment when Damian was short with him.

“Fucking hell, Sparrow.  Can’t you see he’s already freaked out enough without you snapping orders at him?”  Tim tightened his arm around Dick and while it wasn’t strange for Damian and Tim to be at odds, it was strange for it to be about Dick specifically. 

He could hear the sigh slip from Damian even though he obviously tried to hide it.  “I am sorry, Robin.  Please, let us get you back to the cave.  There is a very worried and just slightly injured Phoenix desperate to look you over.”

Without saying anything, Dick nodded and pulled away from Tim to follow Damian back to his bike.  Glancing back at his other brother, he watched Tim take out one of his guns and put a bullet in the chamber. 

“Don’t kill him, Hood,” was all the warning that Damian gave Tim before taking Dick’s arm and pulling him out of view of the still whimpering alpha and into the street.  Dick put on the offered helmet and slid onto the motorcycle behind Damian, the engine revving just enough to make Dick wonder if he actually heard the gunshot and resulting shout of pain.

But he decided he didn’t care if Tim had shot the alpha.  If he had tried to do that to someone who could obviously handle themselves (if not in that exact moment), Dick didn’t want to know how many others he had managed to hurt because they couldn’t defend themselves or have someone defend them.

No, instead he focused on tightening his arms around his older brother’s waist, closing his eyes, and letting go of the fear that had caused him to freeze.  He wasn’t sure what it was that had caused him to freak out so suddenly, but there had been something about that alpha.  It hadn’t been the first time one had tried to take something from him by force, but it had been the first time he had frozen so completely.  Never had he ever felt so weak before.  Not even just in a normal fight when the opponent was obviously far superior.  He had always managed to find a way to get himself out of a situation. 

But this had been different.

He shuddered to think of what could have happened if his brothers hadn’t gotten there in time.  What would they have done if they had come even a few minutes later to find him in the clutches of that alpha?  What would Jason have done if he had been violated?  Would he withdraw his intentions?

No, that wasn’t the kind of man Jason was.  Otherwise, he wouldn’t have made his intentions clear two years before he could even act on them.  Being eighteen meant Jason could bond legally, but Dick still had two years to go before he was of age.  And though Bruce could have given them permission, he had made it clear that he wouldn’t give his blessing until they were both consenting adults.  Even though he followed that up with stating he approved of the pairing and would happily support it when the time came.

Sapphire eyes opened when he felt the terrain change under the motorcycle, and he found they had pulled into the entrance of the cave.  So, carefully, he pulled the fear scent as far in as he could.  There was nothing he could do about the scent that still clung to his suit, but he could overwhelm with relief at least. 

Hopefully, Jason wouldn’t panic too much.

“Dick!”  Well, there went that hope.

“Honestly, Todd,” Damian reprimanded Jason as he came running up to where Damian brought his motorcycle to a stop.  Dick could see the bandage wrapped around Jason’s forearm and he knew there were probably stitches under it.  “I said he was fine.”

“Forgive me for wanting to check for myself,” Jason shot back, reaching out to help Dick slip out from behind Damian.  Thankfully, the helmet hid the wince of pain on his face when he was back on two feet and the pain in his knee made itself known again.  Dick let Jason remove the helmet and mask, dropping them both to the ground, before he ran his hands down the length of his arms and gripped his hands.  “What happened?  Alfred wouldn’t let me go out with Damian when you sent the beacon.  Are you okay?  Why can I smell you so strongly?”

“I don’t know what happened, but my blockers failed, and the alpha was following me before I realized it.  I was going through Crime Alley when my line snapped, and I think the crash of my fall caught his attention initially.  The blockers failing was just bad luck.” Dick said as Jason pulled him toward the med bay where Alfred was probably waiting to look him over.  He did his best to walk normal despite the sharp pain that shot through his knee with each step.  “I sent the beacon the moment I knew I was going to end up cornered.”

“The animal never got the chance to touch him,” Damian added from where he was following the pair.  “Tim arrived from wherever he was at the same time I did.  I took care of the disgrace of an alpha and Tim went to Richard.”

Jason glanced over the top of Dick’s head with a raised brow.  “Tim let you handle the alpha?”  Dick glanced back in time to see Damian sniff haughtily.  “You promised him he could take care of him if you incapacitated him in order to get Dickie out?”

“I certainly hope that wasn’t the case, Master Damian.  Your father would be greatly disappointed.”  Alfred stood next to one of the beds in the med bay, obviously waiting for Dick.

“Perhaps.  But perhaps not when he hears what that waste of space was planning for his youngest.”  And Damian was probably right.  Even if Dick was no longer a child, Bruce did have the tendency to treat Dick as though he was more precious than air.

Dick watched Alfred consider his oldest brother before the man looked back to Dick and waved him over to the bed.  “Come now, Master Richard.  Take a seat so I can look you over.”  Dick let Jason lead him over to the bed and didn’t complain like he usually would have when Jason lifted him to sit on the bed.  He could smell the distress on the young alpha and knew he needed this.  Dick could be coddled if it meant he stopped smelling so sour.  “Any injuries you wish to make us privy to?”

Thinking over his night, Dick couldn’t recall anything to worry about outside of when his line snapped.  “Maybe a light concussion from my fall?  I didn’t pass out at all, but I think I knocked it on the ground.  And my knee hit pretty hard as well.” 

“Very well.  I will need you to get out of the suit so I can check your knee.  Master Jason, will you please retrieve some more comfortable clothing for Master Richard?”  When Jason looked like he was going to protest, Dick placed a hand on his upper arm and drew Jason’s attention back to him.

“Something from your locker, maybe?”  The pleasure at the suggestion filtered into Jason’s scent and Dick was glad he could manage to get some of the sour distress scent out.  With a quick press of his lips to Dick’s temple, Jason hurried out of the room.

“That was wise,” Alfred commented as he moved closer and began concussion protocol.  Dick focused on the questions and commands as best he could, but his attention kept falling back to Damian who still stood in the doorway with is arms crossed and a dark look on his face.  “Yes, I do believe you have a minor concussion, nothing to be concerned about given your level of alertness.”  Alfred was stepping back as Jason made his way back into the room.

“Do you need help?”  Jason asked quietly when he came up to Dick’s side with a few items, all smelling strongly of Jason and home.  Dick only nodded and held a hand out so Jason would help him down from the bed. 

“Master Damian, you should get out of your own suit and contact your father.  I did not want to worry him without all the details.”  Though it sounded like a request, it was definitely an order and Dick could see the annoyance on Damian’s face without even bothering to read his scent.  But the oldest nodded and left the room.  He was followed by Alfred, to give the pair a bit of privacy Dick was certain.

Instead of letting Jason help him out of his suit, Dick turned and buried his face into the spot of his neck where his scent glands were as he wrapped his arms around Jason’s torso.  “Dickie,” Jason whispered, voice hoarse as he buried his face into Dick’s raven hair.  His arms came up and around Dick, holding on tightly.  The pair let the silence fall between them as they took the moment to comfort each other without words.  But eventually reality came back to them and Dick was pulling back so Jason could help him out of the suit and into the clothes he had brought.

He was just slipping on the t-shirt when Alfred reappeared in the doorway with a tray of food and some water.  “I would appreciate it if you would eat this while I look over your knee,” he explained, setting the tray next to Dick on the bed, giving him a pointed look.  Nodding, he picked up the sandwich and took a bite as Alfred moved to the knee he had left exposed by pushing the loose sweat pant leg up.  The touch was firm, but gentle and just enough that Dick was able to hold back the reaction to the pain that flaired up with the inspection. 

“A sprain,” Alfred told them, grabbing the items needed to wrap it to stabilize the limb.  “A few days rest and you shall be right as rain, young sir.”  Jason visibly relaxed at the diagnosis and Dick sent him a look before turning back to Alfred.

“Crutches?”

“If you would rather be carried everywhere…”  Dick balked at the idea of being treated like a damsel in distress and Jason choked out a laugh.  “Then yes, crutches for at least two days.  We shall check the condition of your knee once we check it again.”  He knew he was pouting, but Dick hated crutches and the limitations they placed on his movement.

“Don’t worry Dickie.  It’s only a couple of days,” Jason tried to comfort him, but Dick just pouted more and Jason let out another laugh.  Dick supposed if Jason took this much glee in the situation then he could suffer through it.  Especially if it made his scent go warm with amusement and joy.

“Fine,” Dick grumbled, finishing off the sandwich before grabbing the water bottle to drain.

“Before you finish that,” Alfred stopped him, getting up from his stool and grabbing a small cup Dick hadn’t noticed before.  But it was one he had seen plenty of times in the past.  Pain pills.  If he didn’t have a headache on top of the knee pain, he probably would have turned them down, but he knew there was no way he would sleep with this headache.  So he accepted the cup and tossed the two white pills back before finishing off the water.  “Now, Master Jason will you help Master Dick up to his room and place a pillow under his knee?  I am going to check in with Master Damian and then I will be up shortly.”

“Sure, Alfie.”  Jason said, holding the hoodie he had also brought in for Dick so the younger could pull it on before they headed up.  “Piggyback or…?”  Dick just rolled his eyes as his head slipped through the neck hole and he pushed his arms into the sleeves. 

“Just pick me up,” Dick said, holding out his arms to wrap around Jason’s neck.  He didn’t say anything else as Jason slipped one arm around Dick’s waist and the other under his knees, lifting him with ease.  The walk to the elevator that would take them up to the manor revealed Damian at the computer, talking to someone (probably Bruce) as Alfred soon behind him.

Nothing was said until the doors to the elevator slid shut.

“Do you think B will come home early?”  Dick asked, tucking his head under Jason’s chin.

“Maybe.”  The rumble of Jason’s deep voice beneath his ear was a comforting sound.  “Damian said the League was almost done anyway.”  So, it could go either way.  Dick wasn’t sure which way he wanted it to go.  Yes, he missed Bruce the past two weeks he had been gone, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with the surge of protectiveness that would be sure to follow his homecoming. Sometimes being the only pack omega had its downsides.

“Can you stay with me tonight?”  Jason didn’t say anything in response, but the tightening of his grip on Dick was enough of an answer. As if to say there was no where else he’d be.  “Thanks, Jay,” he whispered, closing his eyes at the steady sway of Jason’s steps as they stepped off the elevator.

“Anything for you, Mate,” Jason whispered back.  And though it wasn’t technically true yet, Dick still felt a familiar warmth fill him at the title.

#omegadickweek #omega dick grayson #omega dick #omega nightwing #alpha jason todd #alpha jason #alpha red hood #reverse robins #nightwing #red hood #damian wayne #tim drake #abo dynamics #robin #batman #bruce wayne #jaydick #robincest

[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

Wedding Colors (Part 2)

(Hayffie ❤️🧡💛💚💙💖. An exploration of Effie’s evolving character as she faces past and present personal intensities while making preparations for Finnick and Annie’s wedding.)

9:00—mentoring. The buzz that Haymitch had been feeling was killed even before Peeta kicked him out of the hospital room.

The boy was angry. “What if I’d murdered the people who were trying to help us because I didn’t know they were trying to help us!!? Do you think anyone would be asking me to frost a cake for Finnick’s FUNERAL if I’d slit his throat!? I can’t even look at you right now. Just go.”

It didn’t help that Haymitch’s eyes looked so much like Katniss’s.

At least Peeta was becoming more lucid. Haymitch took the boy’s justifiable anger as a positive sign and respected his request to be alone.

At the other end of the hospital, he opened the girl’s door to find Johanna plugged into Katniss’s IV. They both looked up but neither moved an inch.

“Jealous?” Johanna sneered.

“Not my drug of choice, sweetheart,” though her comment was spot-on. To Katniss he asked, “Are you okay with this?”

“It’s fine.” She winced, and he glared at Johanna.

“What? She says she’s fine. Plutarch took her for a walk yesterday afternoon. He probably just held her leash too tight.”

“I can tell them I don’t need the morphling anymore...” Her threat wasn’t far from the truth, and Johanna knew it.

“It’s nothing personal. Plutarch has us all on leashes. Even your *mentor* there.” Johanna looked pointedly at the communicuff on Haymitch’s wrist.

Her mockery pissed him off.

“Plutarch talked to you yesterday?” he asked Katniss.

“Yeah. He’s planning a circus, and he gave me the job of looking happy.”

“You. Happy? I would’ve cast somebody else.”

“I can do it. Since the circus is Finnick and Annie’s wedding.”

“Right. ...I’m going to walk away now and pretend I didn’t see you two... bonding.” He motioned to the IV then said to Johanna, “If she’s screaming in pain later, I’ll be ripping that port out of your arm myself.”

Sarcasm dripped along with the morphling. “Sobriety has had such a calming effect on you.”

“Something for YOU to look forward to soon.”

Johanna’s expression was steady as stone. ...Almost. Nobody would have noticed the subtle flinch, except for an addict.

“Katniss, I’ll see YOU later.” Haymitch closed the door behind him.

So the kids knew about the wedding before he did. What’s the point of wearing this *shackle* on my arm if Plutarch doesn’t tell me anything?!

Haymitch made his way back to Peeta’s room and stood in the corridor looking in through the one-way mirror. The boy was sitting at the art table which orderlies had brought in days before. Delly Cartwright was by his side. They were painting with watercolors. Peeta’s brush stroked out an ocean scene with cresting waves and sea life. With the paintbrush in his hand, Peeta was calm. In that moment, he seemed almost like himself.

The damn communicuff buzzed, and a message from Plutarch appeared on the screen. “Change of schedule. Report for exercise at 10:00. Details await you there.”

Being outdoors sounded better than being shut out by the kids or seeing them in pain. They were still alive, but they were messed up. Like me... Or worse.

Mentor. Johanna’s ridicule settled in his bones.

***

10:00—exercise The staircase to the surface had been rebuilt quickly after the bombing. The tight control in 13 produced efficiency. He’d give Coin that much credit.

Climbing the stairs was more exercise than he’d get in the yard. By the time he got to the top, he was breathing hard.

“Now that’s a familiar sound.” Effie’s voice came from the shadows and lit him up.

He moved toward her. “Me out of breath? Typical.”

“Last night...”

“Not typical. ...And more fun than this.”

He was surprised to see her. She wore a heavy coat and carried a large canvas sack over her shoulder. Additional bags and a set of leaf scoops were on the floor near her feet. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going for a walk in the woods —with you. Plutarch’s orders.”

Haymitch was confused, but too amused to not play along.

“I see you’re bringing a weapon.” He tugged at the pruners which were hooked through a belt loop on her pants. “Are you gonna protect us from carnivorous trees?”

“Just me, sweetheart. You’re going to protect yourself.” She held out a second set of pruners.

As he took them, he lingered on the fabric covering her hand. “Is this the latest fashion?”

“Cloth is more practical than lace, but must EVERY stitch of fabric here be gray or white?!” She held out a pair of work gloves for him too.

“If I’m wearing these, then how am I supposed to touch you?”

“No touching, honey. We have a project to do. Coin is giving us two hours to gather enough foliage for the district to make wedding decorations.”

“I heard her announcement asking for volunteers. I just didn’t think she was talking about me.”

“You are here at MY request.”

He took a half-step toward her. “So you’re giving me orders to spend two hours in the woods with you without touching you?” He took another half-step and felt the buzz return as their clothing brushed.

“We aren’t in the woods yet,” she said, “You can touch me now...”

The hair on his chin grazed her temple. “Where?”

Warmth flooded her. “You choose.”

He stepped back. “Sorry, sweetheart. If you get to make me a gardener for two hours, then I get to make you wait at least that long.”

“Haymitch! Don’t bother turning me on if you’re just going to make me wait!”

“Well, aren’t YOU the pot calling the kettle black. ...Am I turning you on?”

“You KNOW you are—“

“I have your trackers.” They were interrupted by a security guard, armed with an automatic rifle equipped with a spotting scope.

“Lex, this is Haymitch. He’ll be the other person accompanying us.”

“Glad to meet you,” the guard said as he lifted Effie’s pant leg to fit the tracker on her ankle.

“Wait a minute. This guy’s coming with us, AND he gets to touch you?”

“No need for envy. ...He’ll be touching YOU too.” Effie smirked.

The guard proceeded to clamp the second tracker onto Haymitch’s ankle.”

“Just what I need, another shackle.” He was tired of being treated like a prisoner, and he was sick of sobriety. Even if he could take the tracker off and leave, where would he go? His house was still standing, far away in 12, but that place was just a shell. Nearly every person he cared about who was still alive was in 13. And his duty was here. He’d been waiting his whole life for this stand.

Haymitch scowled when Lex’s hands skimmed Effie’s hip as he clipped a communicator onto her belt loop.

“Look, man, this is just standard procedure. I’m not interested in touching your girlfriend.”

“I’m not his girlfriend.” “She’s not my girlfriend.” They spoke in unison, then looked at each other.

“Sorry. I just assumed... I’ll position myself in the center of the search area. Don’t wander more than 50 yards from me in any direction.”

“Or what? You’ll shoot us?” Haymitch asked.

“It’s not our policy in 13 to shoot civilians.”

“See there, even cave people can be civilized.” Effie muttered under her breath, talking mostly to herself.

“If you move too far out of range, I’ll message you through the communicator. Stay together.”

Haymitch pulled on the gloves then picked up two canvas sacks and the leaf scoops. Stay together. For a moment, it sounded better than ‘stay alive’

***

In the weeks since the bombing, the exit from 13 into the woods had been cleared and secured. Effie was grateful to not have to crawl through bent metal and broken blocks of cement.

As she stepped outside, a gust of wind whipped her in the face. It carried the fragrance of cedar, like a hope chest, and the smell of approaching rain. Dry ground indicated that none had fallen recently, and she wondered when it would come. Hopefully not before noon! She unzipped her coat just enough to reach inside and pull her sunglasses out from the pocket of her shirt. The lenses tinted the world rose. That view was more familiar.

The guard split off from them to stand watch at the top of the ridge.

“We have three sacks. Let’s fill each one with foliage of a warm color: red, orange, and yellow.” Wasting no time, Effie marched straight into the woods, following a narrow trail.

“The High Priestess of Nature is on a mission,” Haymitch teased from behind her.

Much of the vegetation around them was foreign to him. 13 was far north from the woods he’d forayed into as a boy, breaking laws in order to spend time at the lake. Other plants were the same.

“Uh, priestess... is there poison ivy in the Capitol?”

“Poison?” She stopped in her tracks, imagining a coiling plant about to sink its fangs into her. “I don’t know. What does it look like?”

He pointed to a vine near her feet, and she leaped back, nearly knocking him over. He steadied them both with a hand on her waist.

“THAT!?” she exclaimed, “Well, EVERYTHING here looks like that!”

“Because you’re taking us into a thicket of it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me!?”

“I AM telling you.”

“What will it do to me?” she whispered, fearing that talking too loudly might wake it up or something.

“If you don’t touch it, then nothing.”

“What if I touch it?”

“See how the leaves are shiny? That oil gets on your clothes and transfers to your skin. It gives some people a rash that itches like hell.”

“Maybe YOU should walk in front.”

“Why? So you can look at my ass?”

“Let’s call that a side benefit to the primary goal of not getting poisoned!”

He reluctantly let go of her waist, turned around, and led them out of the thicket.

They found a wider trail and followed it to a tree with large leaves, red as cranberries. Haymitch recognized it as the same variety growing behind his house. He didn’t pay much attention to that tree at home, except when it looked like this. It’s strange... a person can be around something so often but not think about how remarkable it is until it’s changing.

The wind whipped up again, and leaves were falling like rain. Effie was already scooping them up and filling the sack she’d been carrying.

“Wait,” he said, “Look...”

“What? More poison?”

He pointed to the sky, and she tilted her face up to a shower of red. She slid the sunglasses up to her forehead so she could see the true color. Thin beams of sunlight streamed through the branches. She squinted her eyes but didn’t close them.

“In the Capitol, nature is manicured — controlled. In Capitol Park, all the trees are planted the same distance apart. When leaves fall, a crew of Avoxes carts them away before the next morning. It’s nothing like this. This is wild.”

“...And familiar.” With a gloved fingertip, he touched her windburned cheeks then pulled a red leaf from the top knot of her kerchief. Over her coat he traced from her heart to the small of her back, following the path of the tattoo buried under her layers.

The memory of him holding her there the night before was a freight train barreling through her. “Ohh... this is why we agreed to not touch each other.”

“Yeah, about that... I lied.”

The leaf scoops dropped to the ground, and she interlaced her hands behind his neck. “Just for a minute, alright? Just give me a minute...” She kissed his cut lip, soft like she’d wanted to at breakfast. “Does this hurt?”

StoppIng this is what’s gonna hurt. He kissed her like when he was trying to get her out of his system. Only he knew better now, and he kissed her anyway, slow and certain.

She felt it like madness. “My hands were on my body this morning,” she murmured, “I pretended they were yours. In all the places you touched me. Haymitch... I came so fast.”

“Jesus.”

“I’m trying to control this. But...” I’ve wondered about it so long. “I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

In defiance of gravity, he pulled back from her. “Here’s what’s going to happen... We’ll collect the leaves, and we’ll figure out the rest later. Because if you say another word now about making yourself come, then I swear I’m going to lay you down right here—“

“And you’ll fuck me. ...Say it. Tell me you will.”

He could feel himself bending to her desires. It was unsettling, and erotic. “Yeah. I will. To hell with whoever’s watching! But it’s not just the guard. It’s probably Coin; it may be Snow; it could be anybody. I’ve already shown too much of my hand out here, and the clock is ticking.”

The reminder of Plutarch’s words and of the arena made her refocus. She caressed his neck as she let go.

They channeled the intensity into the work, meandering through the woods along animal trails. Scurrying sounds in the bushes made Effie’s heart race, but she avoided a heart attack like she evaded poison ivy.

“Scurrying things are mostly lizards, field mice, and foraging birds. The real threats are the things you DON’T hear coming.”

“WHY would you say that?! With all of the words you have to choose from in this situation, THAT is what you say to me!?!”

“I’m trying to ease your mind. Good ol’ Lex is up there watching from the ridge. We’re gonna be fine.”

They scooped and clipped foliage from a dozen trees. “Every leaf we collect must be freshly fallen or plucked from the branches. Nothing brown or decomposing is acceptable.”

“Nothing decomposing?! Who’s making these rules anyway?”

“I believe you called her ‘The High Priestess of Nature’.”

“What do you think is happening to leaves when the colors change? Poetry?”

“Maybe poetry. Why not?”

“This is a deciduous forest, sweetheart. These leaves are all dying. There’s nothing poetic about it. Death is a knife in somebody’s back or poison in her veins. And then nothing.”

“If that’s all it is, then why did you tell me to watch the leaves fall? And why did we feel so alive?”

He had no answer.

***

Returning to the fortress, Effie carried a sack across her back and the scoops in her hands. He slung the other full bags over his shoulders. Neither of them had much breath left to complain about their burdens, but they talked some.

“You’re stronger than you’ve let on.”

“I used to credit cycling classes at Capitol Spin. Now it’s endless staircase climbing in *the dungeon*.”

“What about the strength inside you? Where does that come from?”

“I... I don’t know. That’s not easy for me to feel.”

I feel it. “Thanks for getting me outside today.”

“Will you come to the dining hall this afternoon?”

“I’m all thumbs when it comes to making things like garlands. My parents’ craftiness skipped my generation.”

He seldom mentioned his family. There was so much pain there. She wanted to know more. She wanted to know everything. But if she pushed, he shut down. So she took in his comments whenever they came and tried to piece together a picture of the early life his Games destroyed. The more the images came together, the more protective she felt.

And the more she knew of anger.

She’d always folded anger up tightly and locked it in a box. The act was subconscious. Compartmentalization was happening less readily now, if for no other reason than the boxes she’d stuffed unwanted aspects of herself inside were getting full.

“You don’t have to make anything... I’d just like to see you there.” I’m anxious about facing people.

“After lunch I need to check on the kids, but I’ll try to stop by later.”

“I wish Peeta was recovered enough to participate.”

“He’s decorating in his own way.”

“Is he??”

The trail widened, and Haymitch walked alongside her. “It’s Plutarch’s big secret. If I told you, then I’d have to kill you.” His smile was wide enough to show the gap between his teeth. “And that wouldn’t work because I want you alive.”

The wind rushed around them, and she thought again about how easy it would be to let it take her. “Keep those secrets for now. My world has suddenly become rather interesting. I think I’ll stay alive and find out what’s going to happen next.”

#HayffieFics #hayffie #hayffie fanfiction #effie x haymitch #haymitch x effie #haymitch abernathy #effie trinket #thg fanfiction #thg #wedding colors #odesta #finnick and annie #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #Johanna mason #district 13 #Effie in red #effies tattoo #plutarch heavensbee #the hunger games

[iamrealbuilder]

Bill Buchalter interview

Bill Buchalter was a level designer for Sunstorm Interactive. He’s worked on 3 official add-on of Build Engine games: Cryptic Passage for Blood, Suckin’ Grits On Route 66 for Redneck Rampage, Caribbean Life for Duke Nukem 3D. Interview, November 2020: Corentin: Can you introduce yourself?

Bill Buchalter: My name is Bill Buchalter. I’m an avid gamer of all kinds – video games, board games, and especially tabletop RPGs. I’m currently a freelance writer for AAW Games (Adventure A Week Games) writing mini adventures for Dungeons & Dragons 5E. I live outside Indianapolis, IN with my wife Jane, our three kids, and our dog Roxi. When I’m not gaming, I also enjoy music, playing guitar, hiking, and camping.

C: With Sunstorm Interactive, you're credited for level design on Cryptic Passage, Caribbean Life and Route 66. How did you start working with Sunstorm and what do you remember from that time?

BB: In the mid 90’s, maybe around 1995 or 96, I was very into playing Duke Nukem 3D. Like most PC gamers at the time, I had played Castle Wolfenstein and Doom, and Duke Nukem just blew me away. Back in those days, when we played online, we would use a 3rd party program called KALI. You dialed up on your modem, logged onto the internet, and then used KALI as a portal to chat with other gamers and find someone to play with. The KALI software would then allow you to network together over the internet and play PVP matches. It was crude, and the lag could be horrible, but we didn’t know any better at the time and we loved it!

I remember I was in a B. Dalton bookstore in the mall one day (another relic of the 90’s that is long gone!) when I found a book called the “Duke Nukem 3D Level Design Handbook”. I was intrigued, and as I flipped through the pages it talked about a program on the Duke Nukem CD called Build, which allowed you to create your own levels. I had no idea Build existed, let alone how to use it. I bought the book and spent the next couple weeks diving into learning how to use Build. I was hooked!

Making my own maps quickly became an obsession. I would share them with my friends on KALI and I quickly earned a reputation for making user maps. I remember there was a map building competition, but I don’t recall who sponsored it. A guy named Robert Travis won the competition. When I saw his maps, I was blown away! His designs were so much more advanced than mine. He was using tricks I had never thought of to get lighting effects and set moods. I had to reach out to him to pick his brain.

Robert responded and we began talking and quickly figured out that we both lived in Indianapolis. He was working for Sunstorm at the time and invited me to come to their office to discuss level design. I met him there one evening, and he showed me some of the stuff he was working on. We ended up playing Duke all night on Sunstorm’s network with some of the other guys in the office. I was in heaven!

Robert introduced me to Anthony Campiti, the lead producer on Sunstorm’s next project – Cryptic Passage, an add-on for a Build engine game called Blood. They invited me to design some levels for the game and I jumped at the chance. Robert assigned me to design an opera house level and immediately I got pictures in my head of the theater scenes from Interview with a Vampire. I went home and worked furiously on designing the level. I was still rough, but with Robert’s help I tweaked things here and there and slowly learned his techniques. In the end I was really pleased with the level I’d designed. Robert and Anthony were happy too and asked me to design a second map specifically for deathmatch.

The next project Sunstorm was working on was Suckin’ Grits on Route 66, an add-on for another Build engine game called Redneck Rampage. Robert again asked if I’d like to be a part of that team and assigned me to build a truck stop level. Using a lot of the things I’d learned on Cryptic Passage, and the campy feel of the Redneck Rampage game, I had a lot of fun designing that level.

The last project I worked on for Sunstorm was Duke Nukem Caribbean Vacation. By this time Duke’s popularity was beginning to wane, and Quake was taking over. Robert was already starting to experiment and learn how to use the Quake engine. I was a new dad at the time (my first daughter had just been born) so unfortunately, I didn’t have the spare time to devote to learning a new engine. I barely had the time to design my level for Duke Caribbean, but I did manage to finish the casino level for that project. I do recall that Robert ended up going through in the end and changing a lot of the aspects of my level to fit the theme they had in mind. I remember being a bit disappointed and not really feeling like the level was “mine” because of so many of the changes. It was the last project I worked on for Sunstorm.

I kept in touch with Robert and Anthony for a while after that. They were branching out, working on other projects, and even trying to develop their own FPS game that I don’t think ever really got off the ground. Sunstorm was having the most success with their Deer Hunter line of games that at the time were selling well in Wal-Mart. Sadly, I eventually just lost touch with those guys.

I’m sure this is WAY more information than you were wanting (I’m a writer… I can’t help but go off the deep end!) but you dusted off some fond, old memories for me, so I apologize for walking so far down memory lane!

C: I see that you're still making maps, different kind of maps! This makes me wonder if maybe you were involved with W!Zone (a pack of maps for Warcraft 2 released by Sunstorm). Can you tell us a bit about that if possible?

BB: I didn’t have any hand in the W!Zone project for Sunstorm, but I loved the Warcraft series. As was common for many video gamers like me, who had roots in fantasy games like D&D, I played a lot of Warcraft and eventually got sucked into the world of MMOs with Ultima Online, Everquest, and World of Warcraft! If only I had back the time I sunk into those games!

These days I’m exclusively writing and designing for Dungeons and Dragons. I started about ten years ago writing for D&D Organized Play in a campaign called Living Forgotten Realms. I co-authored two adventures for that with my good friend, Michael Pearman, and authored a third adventure on my own. As you know from tracking me down via AAW Games, I’ve now authored six adventures for them, five of which are already published and one that is still in the works but should be released soon.

When I do manage to find time for video games, Diablo III is my game of choice these days. I’m looking forward to Season 22 starting here shortly, and like many others, I’m really hoping for something great with Diablo IV. I’ve been a huge fan of the series since the beginning, and even wrote an entire campaign for D&D 5E that translated the story of Diablo III into Dungeons and Dragons for the players in my home game! Thanks again for the opportunity to share some of this history. It was fun putting it all down and reliving those days!

C: There are two signatures in the Truck Stop level for Route 66. Do you remember anything about that ? There also several levels with no known credit : Fun Park, House of ill Repute, Mystery Dino Cave, Bigfoot Convention.

The signature on the truck stop is Route 66 was a joke! I was the only designer on that one. I just signed it "Billy Joe Jim Bob Buchalter" as a joke for bad redneck name. I wasn't the kind of guy that had to sign my maps the EXACT same way every time. :)

Other than the truck stop, I don't recall designing any other maps for Route 66. I pretty sure none of those you listed below were mine, but I don't recall whose they were.

Finally, here are some final comments Bill made after reading through some forum posts:

Wow, I am really quite humbled that you guys looked so deeply into my work! The fact that you could recognize my build style is pretty cool - I didn't even know I had a style! LOL. The truth be told, the reason you probably had so much trouble telling my levels from Robert's is because he was a big influence on me. I learned a lot from him and incorporated a lot of that into the stuff I built.

Its funny how reading through that thread you linked brought back memories... I remember now that my biggest disappointment from Duke Caribbean was that my only level in the game ended up being a secret level - that some people wouldn't even find it or ever play it. I was actually pretty excited about that level. I was the one that suggested a casino because my folks had retired to Vegas, so I'd been in a lot of the casinos there and had some great ideas for the map. I'd forgotten all about the restaurant I worked into it, and the big fish tanks.

There seems to be some debate about Robert. From what I remember, he was a really good guy. Maybe a bit tough to work for, but only because he really strived for our designs to be the best they could be, and he demanded that of both himself and the other designers. As I said before, I learned early on to accept criticism and critique and not take it personally. It was just Robert doing his job. I'll be the first to admit that I designed better levels thanks to the stuff I learned from Robert.

Someone on the message board made a very astute comment, basically to the effect that "Bill had to have other work out there. Sunstorm wouldn't hire an unproven guy off the street." But truth be told, that's exactly what they did! I hadn't done a single thing before working there. But I think a few things played in my favor. First, I lived in Indy, just 15 minutes from their office, so it was easy for me to go in and work directly with Robert. Second, while I didn't have anything officially published, I did have a disk full of the maps I'd designed on my own, and Robert thought I showed promise. I would design at home a lot, then go into the office a couple times a week and sit with Robert while he critiqued my work and offered advice on how to improve it.

I'll be honest - I'm blown away at the number of people STILL playing these old maps we made so many years ago. I watched a couple YouTube videos of a guy playing and reviewing Duke Caribbean and Blood Cryptic Passage. His high praise of both Full House and the Opera House really made my day. It's nice to know that people enjoyed my work.

_____________________________

Thanks a lot to Bill Buchalter for taking the time to answer these questions! Thanks also for sharing... “Big City” !

A Duke Nukem 3D map he created back in the day before joining with Sunstorm Interactive which was never released before! Screenshot:

Map download:

https://msdn.duke4.net/bigcity.zip

______

External link: Duke4 forum blog megathread: https://forums.duke4.net/topic/11471-blog-interviews-of-build-engine-video-games-developers/page__pid__353013#entry353013 The forum posts Bill read, mentionned above, can be found here: https://forums.duke4.net/topic/9418-duke-caribbean-multiplayer-levels/

#build #build-engine #blood #duke nukem #redneck-rampage #duke #nukem #duke nukem 3D #video games #route 66 #caribbean life #cryptic passage

[calumrose]

Trigger [Police/Gang!AU] Chapter 2 || C.H

A//N: Chapters get a bit bigger from here on out so I hope that’s all good. I know I probably should have cut them down and maybe broken up the story better but then later I’ve got a BIG chapter and it’s all one scene so it would be even weirder I think. 

Some people like big blocky chapters, and others don’t. So, I suppose it’s just down to personal preference.

Anyway, I have no self-control so here’s chapter 2 because I’m in a really good mood. I hope you enjoy! Again, feedback is greatly appreciated! 

Word Count: 11.2k

Summary: Eloise Gray and Calum Hood, not two people you would ever think to put together. What started as a ploy for power turned into a romance, resulting in the realisation that loving your enemy may not be such a bad thing after all.

Previous Chapters: Prologue / Chapter 1

Her head felt as though someone had just caved it in with a 10-kilo dumbbell, the ache setting in with great impact as her eyes barely opened to stare up at the beige ceiling above her. She let out an audible groan as she glanced over to her right, spotting the grey curtains swaying mildly in the wind as the open window allowed for the cool morning breeze to travel inside. She stared at the curtains for a few seconds, her mind clearly trying to piece together how her curtains were now a different colour than what they were when she left her apartment last night. Had she changed them when she was drunk? Surely not.

Nope, you definitely have not changed your curtains!

Her eyes drifted down from the curtains, her eyes noting the paint of the walls was also different, as was the flooring. Why couldn’t she piece it together? The bright orange bone shaped toy caught her attention, the cogs in her head turning in overdrive as she stared puzzled at what she presumed was a dog toy. Makes sense, right?

She lay on her back, the white sheets covering her body were softer than her own. Okay, it was beginning to sink in that maybe this wasn’t her apartment. The blank canvas of the ceiling allowed for her brain to paint the events of the previous night along it, her mind creating a map of the events for her to piece together.

She remembered dancing throughout the night, dancing with her friends on the floor, along the tables of the bar. She remembered diffusing an argument between Jackson and Mia, instructing for her to go home early. She remembered losing Scott, but there was something she was missing.

And then it hit Eloise like a truck, the realisation smacking her like a bumper car at the fayre.

She remembered him. She remembered Calum.

Eloise recalled how their eyes met from across the club, Mia pointing him out to her, her dark eyes meeting his as the colours of their irises blended together to create a gaze never before set. The distance between them in that moment settled in her mind, the loss of contact when she was dragged off to dance with Roman fresh in her thoughts.

But what was raw in her mind was the sensation she felt with his lips against hers. The softness brushing against the blush-coloured features on her own face as they sat in the back of that cab, the feeling on his large hands on her as they travelled up the few short stairs to his home, the feeling of her back slamming against the wall of his hallway before he dragged her to his bedroom. Eloise continued to relive the events, getting lost in memory of the feeling of his lips dragging along her jaw, down her neck, painting her skin with his full lips as she lay there, spread out like a canvas dying to be painted.

Her eyes fell to the spot next to her, expecting to find the sleeping lump of a man she had found herself going home with. But what she was met with was crumpled sheets, an empty space where he once lay. She couldn’t help but wonder what he had disappeared to, how long had she been alone for?

Eloise felt her stomach sink slightly at the realisation of the night’s events taking a turn she knew he probably wasn’t expecting, yet he was still polite enough to let her stay, enjoying her company as he held the stranger in his arms and treasured her warmth like the best kept secret he had discovered. Their lips brushed for hours as the night travelled on, their hands roamed yet never connected in the way they both deep down craved so intensely. And that was all down to Eloise; her conscious working in the back of her mind as her lips wrapped in his, a voice as sweet as a woman she remembered all too well whispering to her that she had more respect for herself than to waste a night of intimacy with a stranger.

But she couldn’t help but allow her heart to tug gingerly at the gentle, new, smile she could see when she closed her eyes, his sensual moans and raspy voice echoing in her ears as they erupted bonfires in each other’s chests. It was that reason exactly which induced her to stop in her tracks, uttering an apology before sharing a quiet “I can’t do this”, his response being unexpected as he continued to hold her while his shoulders gave a limp shrug.

“Stay anyway,” He whispered against her skin, “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I just want you to stay.”

She couldn’t deny the flutter in her heart at his soft voice, her lips giving into yet another kiss as they held one another. A one-night stand where nothing fitted into the typical mould of how the stereotype was practiced by hundreds around the world. Where the typical rendezvous would be spent with loud vocals, rushed kisses and desperate movements, their time together was spent with slow kisses, soft hands and gentle whispers of each other’s beauty.

It was a night that took a turn which Eloise certainly hadn’t expected: one that she didn’t wholeheartedly regret.

Her long legs carried her through to the ensuite bathroom to her right, her tired arms having freed herself from the soft sheets she lay enveloped in, her eyes travelling around the cold white-tiled walls as her hands found the edge of the sink. She grasped her mesh top from the floor on her way, sighing as she looked at the crumpled material in her hands. She stared back at herself in the mirror, her hair dishevelled and tangled, her makeup smudged against her soft skin, her collarbones and lower neck littered with purple splodges that he had created. She gulped, swallowing the stone like lump in her throat as she tried to piece together how she got herself into this position. She couldn’t do something as simple as have meaningless sex, she chickened out every time.

“You moron,” She muttered to herself, “You complete, utter loser.”

She let the warm water run from the tap for a few minutes, watching as the endless stream flowed down the plughole, her delicate hands reaching in and cupping together beneath it, allowing for a small puddle to fill in her palms before raising it for her face and rubbed her hands gently along her skin. She grasped the face cloth she found on the towel rail, rubbing it gently along her jaw, rubbing each of her eyes as she watched as they became free from the smeared dark makeup. The transfer of the twilight coloured product on the cloth was intense, the bright blue towel bringing her attention to the spread black product that made its new home on the fabric.

She would apologise for the cloth, but Eloise couldn’t stand having that mess on her face any longer. The small dark coloured bottles littered along the small shelve to the left of the sink caught her attention next when she tossed the face cloth into the sand-coloured washing basket beside the door, her eyes reading the small intricate labels on each one as her brain thought back to the scent of him, the smell of his cologne as it infested her nose as she sat on his lap within the confined space of the yellow taxi. She swore she could still smell him, the oaky musk remaining embedded in her nose from the hours before. His eyes were blurring her vision, the chocolate swirls within them hypnotising her as she thought of him for what felt like the hundredth time that morning. She could still feel the warmth of his skin against her hands, the heat radiating off them as if she were on fire, her fingertips memorising every curvature of his skin, the rise and fall of his chest, the beat of his heart against her palm.

She could remember all these parts of a man she hardly knew, yet what had she given him to remember? A pair of blue balls and a dirty face cloth. Classy.

Her head peered out of the door which connected the bathroom back to the bedroom, her eyes falling to the unmade bed as she noted it remained empty, the bedroom door open ajar. Her bare feet carried her along the wooden floors, her eyes glancing around the room before she was pushing the door open, a whole new area now being brought to her attention. A grey hallway welcomed her, the sun beaming through the floor to ceiling windows that lined the house, her gasp stopping halfway as she witnessed how bright and open it made the home feel. She walked along the floorboards, her eyes catching the scattered photo frames that were perched along the painted walls; her eyes scanning each individual one. She made note of the large canvas at the end of the hall, the hand painted piece commanding attention as it hung proud. She wished one day to own beautiful art pieces in her apartment, her money barely being able to cover rent as it is. It was another dream to add to her list.

Eloise pieced together the photographs on the walls, figuring a lot of them were of his friends and family. It seemed as though he was very fond of them, every photograph having painfully happy smiles spread along everyone’s faces.

It wasn’t until she got to the final frame at the end of the hallway that her body froze, her shoulders tensing as her knees buckled slightly at the sight in front of her. Was she seeing things? Her heartbeat picked up a few beats, slowly but surely beginning to drown out the white noise of the house she found herself in, becoming the only sound she was able to hear.

She saw him standing there in the picture, his arms around an older lady who looked awfully alike to him and a young girl with light blonde hair who looked like the female version of him. They must’ve been his family. Her eyes then drifted to his attire, the cap on his head catching her attention first, her throat drying as she nipped at her chapped lips with her teeth, the navy colour only flooding her mind with anxiety.

Eloise felt her chest shake with the breath she took in, her hands playing with themselves in front of her as she scanned the photograph further. The shirt he wore screamed out to be detected, the rush in her chest only worsening as the gold badge on his torso glowed through the camera lens, his small sparkling name pin worn with honour on the left side of his chest taking pride of place in the photo as the blonde beside him pointed to it with a wide smile, Eloise’s eyes unable to miss how his biceps were bulging out around the constraints of the dark shirt he wore. Focus, Eloise.

He was a cop. He was a bloody cop.

She couldn’t fight the blow of fear that hit her chest like a gust of wind, her mind instantly thinking to all those feelings and memories she had flooding her mind only moments ago, now replaced with apprehension and panic as she could only imagine how this would look if anyone were to know. A Gypsy King and a cop in bed together? It would never look good. Never.

I need to get out of here, she thought. She took a deep breath, trying to calm the rapid thudding of her heart against her ribcage and she continued her walk through the home. An open plan living room, kitchen and dining room soon welcomed her as she appeared around the corner of the hallway, the voice inside her head fighting to ignore the modernity of the decor; one that she could only dream of achieving one day.

Eloise wanted to get out of there as soon as she could, wanting to avoid the awkward exchange of thanks and small talk that she assumed they would share before she slipped into the abyss and never saw him again. She spotted her jacket hung on the back of one of the dining chairs, quickly hauling on her mesh top from the night before, the material smelling like a perfect mixture of her perfume and his cologne, the smell faded but still strong enough to throw her mind into a haze. She brought her focus back to getting out of the house that was not her own, hopefully unnoticed, as she reached for her trusty leather jacket, her hands gripping onto the collar as she lifted it, quickly slipping her arms into it as she adjusted the cold material so it sat comfortably on her shoulders. She tried desperately to ignore the uncomfortable sensation that flowed through her as she stood in her skirt, the material beginning to sit uncomfortably against her clammy thighs. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to sleep in it…

Now all that was left was for her to find her shoes, her bag being sat on the table opposite her jacket, her belongings all kept inside securely. Surely, they couldn’t be far.

Eloise sighed vocally as she glanced out of the large glass window that faced the dining table, the skyline outside of his home truly being a thing of beauty; a sight that could quite literally take anyone’s breath away. It dawned on her in that moment that she had no idea where she was, of course she was still in New York but where exactly was her question. How was she supposed to get home from here?

Her nimble fingers tore open her bag, grabbing her phone from its contents, silently praying that it still had some battery left. The screen lit up much to her relief, the photograph of her lock screen shining in all its glory as she ignored the notifications before she opened her maps, watching as the location adjusted, flashing over the globe on her screen before it settled and zoomed in to Eloise’s location, revealing that she in fact in Queens. Okay so she wasn’t too far, it was only a small drive back to Brooklyn, much to her relief, meaning it wouldn’t cost her too much in a cab. When she thought about it, Uber was probably going to be cheaper and quicker which was a key factor in the task currently at hand.

She returned to her home screen, flicking through her pages of apps, finding Uber before ordering a car, seeing the few minutes wait she would have to suffer through until she would be finally free, safe from any interaction with the man, whose house she found herself in, until she was in the safe confinements of her small complex yet again.

The black colour of her strappy heels caught her eyes as she looked at the front door, her brain contemplating over if she would actually wear them when she left, the begging voice in the back of her mind was desperate for her to just carry them, reminding her of the ache she suffered last night, her ankles still not fully forgetting the gentle burn they felt as she walked around in the torture devices. Yeah, maybe she’d just carry them.

Now all she had to do was get out of his home unnoticed, to escape down the front staircase and into a car where she could forget this ever happened, her feet already beginning to make their way towards the front door. That seemed like the easy part.

Or at least it did until a voice spoke up, the familiar satin-like tone making Eloise’s heart thud yet again.

Unable to stop herself from following the sweet sound, her eyes looked in the direction of the hallway, seeing Calum stood there in all his muscular glory, his bare chest on show as he leaned against the wall, the ends of his dark curly hair flying in every direction as his grey joggers hung loosely from his waist. The brunette’s eyes glanced at the black ink littered along his skin, the markings on his chest standing proud as the cascading artistry on his arms bulged like his muscles as he commanded the room. The fight Eloise had with herself in order to prevent her eyes from drifting downwards was a brutal one; a fight that she didn’t think she would struggle with. Much like the fight she had with her brain when she asked herself why she was feeling so heated, so not her, when she looked at him. What made him so special? He was a cop, a big red flag, the colour flashing in her mind as she tried to remind herself that he was the enemy, he was who she tried to avoid every day.

“Going somewhere so soon?” He called sweetly, “Was last night really that bad?”

She couldn’t stop her heart as it fluttered at the sweet tang in his voice, his smile resting across his pretty face, his cheeks lightly pushed up at the expression. Pull yourself together, El!

“No, it was gre-great,” She smiled nervously, glancing down at her bare feet as she placed her phone back into her bag, trying to keep her eyes off of him, not trusting herself not to give him a look she regretted, forbidding her heart from skipping at the sight of him, “I just really need to head home, I forgot that I, uh… took the spare key for my place and my friend was supposed to be staying there, so I need to, um, get home and make sure that he’s okay.”

“I’m sure he’s a big boy and can take care of himself,”

“You clearly don’t know Scott, he can barely use a toaster unattended,” Eloise let out a light-hearted laugh, her cheeks flushed as she lifted her bag and threw it over her shoulder, her eyes still refusing to meet his. “Listen, I uh, I really appreciate you letting me stay after I… y’know… kind of- “

“It’s not a problem,” Calum shrugged, his eyes never leaving the beauty who stood just meters away from his front door, “It would pretty dishonourable of me to throw you out on the basis of you not wanting to sleep with me, it would go against what my job tries to enforce, in a way, if you can understand that.”

“I saw your photo on the wall,” She nodded, her eyes slowly trailing along the floor, her confidence slowly coming back to her as she readied herself to look at him. Eloise assumed that he thought she knew what he did for work; maybe he had told her last night and she forgot? “I’m assuming that’s from when you graduated the academy?”

Calum smiled at that the thought of the photograph he adored in his hallway, it being a personal favourite of his since the day it was taken. He made note of Eloise’s stance in front of him; noting how her feet shuffled slightly against the smooth flooring, how her hands fiddled with themselves, how she chewed at her bottom lip, picking at the chapped skin with her teeth. Calum couldn’t stop himself from remembering how her hands felt tangled in his hair as they kissed; how her nails felt trailing along his chest, how her teeth nipped at his lips, painting him with sins as she worked along his golden skin before she stopped, her body halting in it’s descent, admitting to him that she couldn’t continue in the direction they both initially intended. He understood, even in his drunken state, appreciating the artistry that she was laced with as he gazed at her. He wanted her to stay. He wanted to hold her and just lay with a woman again, even if it meant nothing to her, he just wanted to hold a girl laced with charm. And that girl was Eloise.

When he awoke that morning to find her sleeping next to him, he couldn’t deny he was confused at first, unaware he had ended up taking someone home but that was before memories of her body as it moved in the club flashed across his mind, memories of her sweet tongue as it spoke teasing responses to his words throughout the ride home tingled in his ears. He couldn’t hide the sickening smile that graced his face as he watched her, her eyelashes gently fluttering against her cheeks as she slept, her makeup smudged yet still hopelessly beautiful. He couldn’t believe he was saying this about a girl he didn’t know, the only thing he knew was her name, Eloise. It rolled off his tongue as he lay there, watching as she breathed, her name replaying in his head as he whispered it to himself a few times.

Right Calum snap out of it!

“Uh yeah,” He chuckled, a hint of nerves in his voice, “I graduated a few years ago after struggling to figure out what I wanted to as a career. I realised I had an admiration for the police, and I always appreciated the work that the force has done and continues to do all over the world and the justice they stand for, so I figured it was the right path for me.”

“So, you’re a smooth talker and a soft touch then?” She teased, her almond eyes finally looking up to meet his own, “Not an ideal mix for a street cop.”

“Detective, actually,” He corrected her, “I lost the ‘street cop’ title a while ago.”

The anxiety burning up inside Eloise only escalated as he spoke those words. Oh god, this couldn’t get any worse, she thought. First, she failed at the simple task of having a one-night stand, then discovers that her blunder of a one-night stand was with a cop, only to be discovered that he’s actually a detective. This really could get any worse!

“Congratulations,” She edged a small smile, suddenly remembering that the Uber she ordered would probably be close by if not already outside, “But yeah, listen I’m sorry to cut this short but I really need to go, my ride’s outside, uh, I think.”

“You think?” He raised an eyebrow as he repeated her final words, watching as she edged further towards the door, leaning down to pick up her shoes in her hand, her back never turning on him.

“The tracking on my Uber app is never right,” She lied, shrugging her shoulders as she rolled her lips into her mouth, “It said it would ten minutes or so, so…”

“Ah right, makes sense,” He nodded, sensing she was in a rush, noting how her eyes flickered and her breath picked up a little. He could hear her heartbeat from where he stood, her nerves dancing around the room as if they were alive, “Well, uh, I guess I better make this quick.” He cleared his throat as he stood upright, the joggers hanging loosely on his hips, letting the waist band of his Calvin Klein briefs peep out, resulting in a slight sheen of sweat begin to gloss the back of Eloise’s neck, her eyes remaining focused on his, her mind working in overdrive to keep her attention focused on one feature and one feature only; his eyes. “I really enjoyed last night, and I mean that, I really did. So, I was thinking we could maybe do it again sometime but without the alcohol, like a date? Maybe dinner or something?”

Eloise could’ve sworn her entire world came to a standstill when that word left his lips. Date? He wanted a date… A detective in the NYPD wanted a date with a gang banger. It was something Eloise never thought she would hear, nor be in the situation of.

“I’ll think about it.” The words left her lips before she could even register the question fully, her brain playing catch up as her body sped ahead. She could feel her cheeks begin to heat at the realisation, the apples turning a faded pink as she gulped at her quick response.  “I… Uh… Yeah, I’ll uh, I’ll think about it.” She spoke slowly, trying to back up her initial response with a more assured version. Although the assurance was more for herself rather than Calum. She poked the inside of her cheek with her tongue as she took a shaky breath, her hand reaching for the doorknob of his front door and twisted it, the sound of the lock clicking and echoing within the small doorway.

“How am I supposed to know when you’ve made up your mind?” Calum’s voice called out, a soft smirk creasing his lips as he watched Eloise open the door to allow herself to escape from his four walls, “I don’t even have your number.”

Eloise bit the inside of her lip, unable to stop the playful smirk growing and the cheeky tone grace her voice as she responded, “You’ll know, trust me.” Her eyes looked out to the sight of the street that was revealed to her through the opening of the door, the blue sky welcoming her as the comfortable morning warmth snuck into the doorway. “I’ll find you.”

Before Calum had a chance to fire another word in her direction, she was gone. Her body had slipped through the crack of the door as the sound of the wooden panel reconnecting with the frame merely rattled as it closed, leaving Calum alone in his hallway, the only presence in there aside from him being his small four-legged companion who toddled around the garden out the back in search of new smells.

Calum couldn’t put a halt on his imagination as he pictured Eloise; her dark hair sculpting her gentle face, her almond eyes staring back at him, her delicate hands holding an entire world within them as her soft-skinned palms met his own. He had seen his fair share of beautiful women from his travels throughout his lifetime but never had he seen one as captivating as Eloise. He wanted to know what adventures lay behind her eyes, what else there was to discover and admire of the girl who flooded his mind within minutes of seeing her in that club.

But what he didn’t know was what she did. He didn’t know who she was. All he saw was a beautiful young girl who was having some drunken fun compared to the real Eloise; the rough, intelligent, broken girl who ran with the wrong crowd. She hid behind a mask, hiding the crimes she committed, hiding the deals she made, hiding it all to protect herself and make a living. It was something that no one ever expected to see when they looked at someone like Eloise. And it was a sight that Calum didn’t even know he wanted to see.

*****

The sound of the door closing rattled through the whole apartment; her shoes being discarded into the cupboard next to the entrance before she made her way into the kitchen. A loud sigh was released from within her chest as she opened her fridge, the chilled air confined within escaping free, eliciting a cool subtle breeze over Eloise as she searched the inside, hoping to find something she could eat that didn’t require much effort. Her prayers were answered as her eyes fell on a pink tub at the back of her fridge, her chipped fingernails reaching inside and grasping the container of strawberry yoghurt, a sigh of relief washing over her as she closed the door and moved across her kitchen to find a clean spoon. As much as she would have given her right arm for a greasy bacon sandwich at that moment, a large tub of cheap strawberry yoghurt would suffice.

Heavy footsteps could be heard from further inside of the apartment, her brown eyes looking up to meet with the familiar ones of Scott as he appeared in the kitchen. His eyes widened as he spotted Eloise leaning against the counter, shock in his eyes as if the sight of Eloise in her own apartment was an unexpected one. Shouldn’t she be the one stunned to find him here in his current state? She made a mental note of his lack of clothes, his boxers hanging off of his waist as he held a glass of water in his hand.  “Care to explain what you’re doing here?” She piped up, her eyebrows raising slightly as she ate a spoonful of the sweet yoghurt.

She watched as the gears in his brain began to turn, obviously trying to come up with a sentence that he prayed she would take as an answer. Her excuse to Calum replayed in her mind, remembering how she lied and said that she had to check that Scott was okay as he was ‘supposed’ to be staying at her place. And by the looks of things, he actually did.

“Right, so before you go nuts and kill me- “

His excuse was cut short by the high-pitched giggle of a familiar flamboyant-coloured, red headed girl as she waltzed into the kitchen, her arm sneaking around Scott’s waist as she leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek with her smudged lipstick from the night before, the face paint still holding the rather bright pigment that matched her hair. She whispered a sultry goodbye to him before sending a knowing smirk in Eloise’s direction, her hips working excessively as she strutted out of the apartment, the door closing behind her, signalling that Scott and Eloise were left alone.

“I can’t wait to hear this,” Eloise sighed knowingly, placing the yoghurt down on the counter behind her, her clothed arms crossing along her chest as she let out a harsh huff, “Hit me with it.”

“Promise me that you’re not going to kill me first,” He pointed a knowing finger at her as he stood in her doorway, his voice increasing an octave as nerves settled in for his safety against his best friend, his shaking hand placing the half empty glass down on the countertop beside the door.

“I can’t promise you anything but I’m encouraging you to hurry up and tell me why the fuck she was in my house and why you’re here in nothing but your cheap boxers,” Her voice got louder as she spat out the words, “You better have a really good reason why you decided to use my house as your shagging shed.”

To say she was angry was an understatement. She was pissed. She didn’t get angry with Scott about much, usually both of them finding the humour in most situations, but she couldn’t stop the rage radiating inside of her at the thought of him disrespecting her like this. It could’ve been worse; she knew that but that wasn’t the point.

Scott’s lips parted as if to speak, his voice freezing in his throat as he tried to come up with an excuse. He didn’t have one, but he was sure as hell gonna make one. “Listen, El, I just- “

“Y’know what, Scott, I actually don’t want to hear whatever shit excuse you’re gonna throw my way,” She sighed, rubbing her face with one hand as she released a heavy sigh, “Just please tell me you didn’t use my bed.”

“I know I’m an asshole but I’m not that bad,” He rushed out the words, “We didn’t touch your room, I swear, we just used your shower instead.” He mumbled that last part, but unfortunately for Eloise she heard every word.

Guess it was time to disinfect her shower!

Eloise couldn’t even look at him as she shook her head, her eyes settling on the floor beneath them as she stood in silence. When she really thought about it, she wasn’t actually angry, she was just frustrated. About what, she couldn’t pinpoint but frustration was the main thing that rattled through her bones in that moment. Scott and Lydia had just been the spark to light the ignition.

“Do you want some breakfast before we need to head out?” His voice cautiously spoke out into the kitchen, his eyes searching from some kind of reassurance from the brunette that she wasn’t seconds away from throwing a fist at him. He was trying to cut the tension he knew he had created in the room, knowing that she didn’t need his mistake to be another thing to add to the list of problems she had to deal with. She responded with a single nod, moving out of the way as she put the yoghurt carton back into the fridge and sat down at her small table, watching as Scott moved around the kitchen and pieced together a quick yet fulfilling breakfast for them.

“So, this Lydia girl, are you going to be seeing her again or is this just another one-time thing?” Her question echoed around the room, her eyes watching as the muscles in Scott’s back somewhat tensed at her question before dissipating, relaxing as he worked on spreading the butter across the toasted slices of bread.

Scott was known for finding a piece of fun for the night then practically forgetting she exists once the door closed behind her the following morning. He used the same excuse every time he was asked about his girl of choice, brushing it off as if made perfect sense. In a way it did, especially when Eloise thought about it. It was quite an impactful statement to her, something that resonated with her that she had applied to her life without even realising.

“It’s easier to forget the feelings before they even have a chance of develop. When you block out a connection or love for someone it’s the safest way to stop yourself from getting hurt.” Scott recited, sighing as he put the slices of toast onto plates before placing one in front of Eloise and taking his own seat opposite her, lifting a single slice in his hand before taking a bite.

Eloise realised he had a point after the first few occasions where he would speak those words after an eventful night. The words that he spoke like an oath rang true when she viewed them in her own life. Of course, they only resulted in her fear growing every time she heard them, the truthfulness of the words speaking true as she pushed away people who she could love. Love resulted in eventual loss is what she had learnt throughout the years; loving someone so much that your heart aches is a trap, setting yourself up for destruction when that love would shatter your heart and cause the world around you to crumble. That’s what she feared most; loving someone so intensely that her world crumbled when they weren’t there anymore.

She had been a witness to the act of a world crumbling, being there on the side-lines as her dad became more broken every day after her mother died, watching as the man cracked like a mirror, each piece chipping away as the hours passed, leaving an empty corpse with no soul, no heart and no love left to share. She didn’t want to experience that for herself, living it through her dad was more than enough pain for her to handle.

Eloise had never truly experienced love. She knew that and that’s what scared her; she didn’t know what to expect other than complete self-destruction at the sensation, for her heart to be broken, and for her body and mind to follow suit. She had heard and read stories of what it feels like to be in love, many of the stories resonating from fairy tales her mother told her as a child, songs she would sing about falling in love and the beauty of it. But how could Eloise believe those words when the only true example of love she ever knew was the one her parents shared, the one which came to the tragic ending that haunts her to this day.

Her thoughts travelled from fear and anger to the recollection of the morning and night before, the thought of the tanned stranger clouding her mind yet again as she sat at the small dining table. While she thought of him with a smile that she didn’t dare show, she couldn’t not fight with herself over why she was thinking of him in such a fantasy-like manner, her mind becoming hazed as she remembered his touch, his beauty, as she remembered him. It was a failed one-night stand that she couldn’t hide her hint of embarrassment from, but there was something about that night that stuck with her. It made her feel as though it was more intimate than it would have been if they were to have had sex. The way he held her was new to her, his gentle hold on her face, her waist, all over her body, was one she hadn’t felt yet oddly enough wished to feel again. He made her feel as though he saw her, he saw the real her.

She mentally slapped herself and brought herself back to reality, her hand lifting the now cold toast to her mouth as she chewed the dull-tasting snack that her friend had made. She didn’t understand why she was sitting there, thinking of him when she knew he wouldn’t have thought about her. Especially when he learnt of who she was.

But what she didn’t know was that Calum was sitting in the exact same position in his own four walls, mind clouded with the fascination of the girl who he had only just met.

*****

Eloise’s vision should have been green with the amount of counting she had done that morning, constantly double counting rolls of dollar bills that had recently come in for the Gypsy Kings due to Han selling off a shipment of dodgy goods. Thank god she wasn’t doing this hungover, the thought of her hangover from her birthday celebrations only making her grimace at the recollection of the feeling from a few days ago. She sat at the wooden table, her lips moving as she silently counted her half of the money while Scott counted the other, both of them making a note of every $100 so it made it easier to keep track if one of them lost count. Han always handed the money over to Eloise to count, knowing she would make sure the total was accurate, but also due to the fact that she knew he hated counting.

Han had always been a key member of the Gypsy Kings, an important role in keeping the structure of the group together but also keeping the rest of them in line. Well, everyone excluding Jay who ran by his own rules when it came to how things were done. Han was young when he joined the Kings, his presence in the gang very much being one of a little brother to the other members at the beginning, him being the youngest at one point. He had joined when Eloise was a child and he only being 18; young and impressionable. Aside from Bear, Han was the only other member of the Kings who her mother, Natalia, became fond of, knowing that he was only a young boy who wanted to fit in somewhere, to have somewhere to go to call home. Her love of Han had passed down to her daughter, Eloise loving him as if he were family while she grew up.

He had a partner at one point, Eloise remembered. Her name was Ruby. She was like an annoying older sister to Eloise, the kind that you argued with a lot, but you still loved, nonetheless. She didn’t remember very much about Ruby, but she did have a few fond memories, recalling that Ruby stopped coming by when she was around 13, saying goodbye to Eloise one afternoon, before she left the house with Han and never came back. Han never talked about her anymore, the assumption Eloise had was that she was dead but something about the situation seemed to pain Han in a different way. He wasn’t hurt by grief but still by a loss as he worked to move forward throughout the years, focusing his time and power into the Gypsy Kings, working his way through ranks and settling with where he was currently: his position of being Jay’s number two, the one Jay confided in when he hated to admit he needed help with a plan, the one who could bark orders when Jay wasn’t around. The main difference between Han barking orders and Jay doing so was that Han never ‘barked’ instead he instructed, and the boys around him complied 90% of the time with what he asked when he was running things.

“That’s my half counted,” Scott wrote his final total on the notepad, letting out a sigh of relief as he tossed the pen onto the table and leaned back in his chair, “I never want to touch another dollar bill again!”

Eloise snickered at her friend’s remark, shaking her head as she continued to count the final roll of notes in her hand, smiling to herself as she tossed the last green bill into the bag before writing her final total down as well, working out the maths as she combined the two totals to get the final sum.

“How much did it come to?” Han’s voice spoke from behind Eloise, his hands resting on the back of her chair as he looked down at the notepad as she wrote.

“You’ve got yourself a grand total of $5,000,” She smirked, dropping the pen as she tilted her head up and flashing a smile at the familiar face, “Nice job on that shipment though, Han, Jay’s gonna be pleased with that money coming in, and now we just need to get another one sooner rather than later.”

“We need to figure out another direction we can take to keep money coming in,” Han spoke as he took a seat next to the two young members, “We need something sturdy that doesn’t necessarily mean having to wait around for a big enough opportunity to come knocking.”

Han was right. The gang needed money in order to keep going, as great as it was that Han was bringing in big money, they knew it wouldn’t last once it was divided and dispersed through the gang while also invested in the business antics they currently ran. They needed more opportunities. Han could only make the big deals when he had enough product to ship, enough to make a big sum with the least amount of risk possible. Han’s expertise was in black market materials: mainly blacklisted weapons, booze and cigars. He had big clients who bought from him across the seas but also in the states, clients who paid big money for the products he could get. Han was a productive businessman, the talent of making money being something it seemed he was born with.

Eloise picked at her brain as she tried to figure out a business venture that they could attempt to take in order to make a profit, one that fit in with the rest, and one that would be promising.

“I’ve got it!” Scott cheered, his eyes shooting wide as he stared at Eloise and Han, his hand slamming onto the table, “Why don’t we run some fights? There’s a handful of boys here who would be dying to get into the ring and throw a few punches for some good money, we could take bets- “

“The point of this new expansion in the business is to not draw attention to ourselves,” Han cut him off, letting a frustrated sigh escape his lips, “Somehow I don’t think inviting the people of New York to an underground fight is the best way not keeping things on the down low.”

Eloise watched as Scott rolled his eyes, his plan being thrown into the non-existent bin as he tried to figure out a new plan. Then it came to her, “What about a protection service?”

“El, somehow I don’t- “

“No, shut up and listen to me,” She stopped Scott in his tracks, “We know plenty of dodgy characters around the city who conduct sketchy business every day and nine times out ten they get caught or worse, they get ransacked before they get a chance to sell.” She explained, her eyes looking at Han, her finger prodding the table as she pitched her idea. “If we offered a protection service for a good price, whether it be to keep an eye on goods or attend dealings with them or god knows what and they take us up on it, then that means we’ve got money coming in but also we can obtain inside details on shipments and transactions all around the city. We can expand the Gypsy Kings even more than we already have.”

Han’s face was a picture at the sound of Eloise’s pitch, a proud smile spreading across his face as he patted her shoulder and nodded, “It’s a good plan, I like it. Nice job, El, you’ve really grown into your boots in the business side of things.”

Eloise smiled up at the comforting face of Han, knowing she had come up with a good idea the minute she pitched it. “All we need to do is get clients and dispatch some of the guys.”

“I’ll discuss charges with Jay, and I’ll get back to you on that one,” Han pushed himself out of his seat, “But we’ll keep them semi-respectable. We need profit with small risk, no more deaths of our hands.”

“Bigger risk means more money,” Scott piped in, tilting his head as he looked at Han, his shoulders shrugging as he watched Han’s brain begin to work, “If it the client fits then why not take the jump?”

“Like I said, I’ll talk with Jay and we’ll go from there.”

Han’s large hand patted Eloise’s shoulder once more before he disappeared into the back of the hideout, leaving the Eloise and Scott in the main room with the others who continued to play fight and argue with one another.

“Han’s pet.” Scott grumbled under his breath, catching Eloise’s eyes as they shot to him. He smirked playfully at her stare, unable to hold back the light laugh as he felt her foot against the leg of his chair before her hands reached forward and pushed against his chest in an attempt to push him out of his seat.

“Shut up.” She rolled her eyes, chuckling at her friend before sitting back in her seat.

A bang detonated throughout the room all of a sudden, every pair of eyes flying to the door as Jay stormed in and made his way to the table in the centre of the room. He looked as if he was up to something. Eloise was never sure whether she liked that look he had or not, unable to decipher if she was going to like what plan he came up with in that moment. He called everybody’s attention as they gathered at the table, surrounding the leader as he watched as all eyes fell to him.

“The Ryders’ shipment deal fell through,” He announced, his eyes wild with excitement as he spoke, “Eddy and his boys went to collect the shipment last night but were busted by cops in transit. The deal went to shit and the shipment has now gone back Cuba, but here’s where it gets good, I’ve been given some contacts for the guys who were originally bringing the shipment over and they’re open to dealing with us,” His eyes were wild with desire, the green of eyes turning darker as his pupils enlarged at the euphoria he seemed to be feeling at the thought of the possibility, “But they want $35,000 for the lot. Eddy was willing to pay the money for it as the profit is supposedly five times the amount, and with a profit like that it makes it the perfect deal with us.”

“And how do you expect us to pay for that, Jay? We’re hardly making ends meet here as it is,” Eloise piped up, her arms crossed on the tabletop, “We haven’t got even a fraction of the money to pay for that deal.”

“Who said anything about paying for it?” He smirked, looking around at the enlarged eyes of his followers, “It’s coming into the city in a few weeks’ time, it’s gonna be coming to the abandoned Navy Yard just west of Williamsburg. All we need to do is hijack the shipment and it’s ours. They typically travel in a small group for the deals, there’s gonna be more of us than there is of them, so it’s gonna be an easy take.”

“What about the cops?” Taylor, another member of the gang asked, “The cops caught the Ryders before, so they obviously know about the shipment, what’s gonna stop them from coming after us when they hear it’s coming back into the city? You know it won’t take them long to figure out who’s collecting it and if we get caught, we’re done for, Jay, especially if they catch us after- ” Jay stopped him, cutting him off as he waved him off, assuring that it would be fine and he would handle it. Jay always handled it.

Taylor wasn’t wrong. If the cops had busted a deal with these guys already, they would know to be expecting a second attempt to be taking place. And if they caught a whiff of the Gypsy Kings being the buyers then they would be finished, most of the gang would be put in prison for life meanwhile a few others would most likely get death row. The Kings had a reputation throughout the city, one that a lot of people feared, one that angered a lot of cops, but that’s the way things were run within the gang. ‘Make those who wish to destroy you fear you’.

“What if someone could distract them?” Luis’s voice chimed in, “If someone could cause a diversion on the night then that would work, wouldn’t it?”

“Or what if someone led them in the wrong direction from the very beginning?” Scott’s voice echoed through the room.

All eyes fell to Scott as he leaned forward in his seat, hand moving throughout the air as he expanded on his previous suggestion.

“If we could get someone on the inside with the police and lead them off them off our trail on the build-up the night, surely that would, if anything, lower our chances of being caught to being as small as possible,” He stood up in his seat, leaning forward on the table slightly, “And if they did end up coming after us then it would be rushed, they wouldn’t have time to plan cut off points in the road or lay any traps for us to fall into. We just need a few back-up escape routes out of the boat yard and the shipment is ours. We’d be out of sight and back home safe and sound with full pockets and no cops to stop us.”

Jay was smiling like the Cheshire cat at Scott’s plan, his eyes practically bulging out of his head at the thought of getting away with robbing such a huge shipment and having the cops know nothing about it. It was almost as if it turned him on. Ew. “You, my dear Scotty, are a fucking genius!” He yelled proudly, a loud laugh escaping him as he slammed his hand onto the table.

Eloise tried to hide her distaste for the plan, not liking the sound of it or how confident Jay and Scott had both suddenly became with it. It seemed as if there were holes within it the scheme that even she couldn’t amend. There was something about the whole shipment robbery and Jay’s excitement with it that didn’t sit right with her. She didn’t trust it.

“Now, all you’ve got to do is work out who’s going to be your rat,” Gabriel spoke up, his eyes glancing up at Jay as he stood to the side of the group, “Who do you think you can trust to get in with cops with the least retaliation or backlash?”

“Looks as if it’s your time to shine, sweetheart.” Jay’s voice spoke almost instantly in response to Gabriel’s question, eyes travelling across the room.

It took a moment of silence before it registered that Jay’s eyes had shifted from the tank of man that was Gabriel to the only female in the room, Eloise. She looked up, feeling his eyes burn into hers as he stared at her, the wicked trademark smirk of Jay Snow planted firmly on his lips.

“You can’t be serious,” She scoffed, “No offence but I’m not your ‘rat’. I don’t fit in with cops.”

“But you see, love, you fit in better than anyone of us here. You’ve got the assets that we lack, more persuasion tactics that we can’t execute. You can work your magic on an officer or two, feed them false intel, led them astray, hell, shoot them, I don’t care,” He walked around the table, closing the distance between them before he grabbed her face, forcing her to look directly into his eyes, “You’re gonna get yourself linked to the NYPD one way or another, I don’t care how, but you’re gonna do it and you’re gonna it today.”

Eloise released a shaky breath as Jay’s grip tightened, his fingers searing holes into her skin as he glared down at her, “And what if I don’t?”

“You don’t want to know that outcome,” Jay tutted, “But let’s just say, you’ll be having a little family reunion a lot sooner than you would have thought.”

Eloise could feel her body heating at the remark, her heartrate picking up at the mention of her parents as the word ‘family’ rolled off Jay’s tongue like a drop of poison. “Fuck you, Jay.” She seethed.

Jay practically threw her head out of his vice-like grip as he laughed at her, walking back around as he returned to his previous position at the head of the table, his eyes never leaving Eloise’s as he watched her shake with anger.

“El will start making progress with the cops tonight, and we’ll be ready to go in a month, everybody got that?” Jay recalled, his eyes eventually breaking from her brown ones as he looked around at the scattered members of the gang.

The sound of mumbled agreements and varied incoherent words travelled amongst the group before they dispersed, Jay’s tall stature vanishing into the back room once again, the sound of the door slamming resonating within the walls. Eloise couldn’t help how shaky her breathing had become, unable to break her stare from the blueprint that had been spread across the table, her teeth nibbling at the inside of her cheek as Jay’s instruction reiterated itself in her mind numerous times.

She didn’t even feel Scott’s hand on her arm at first, the cool contrast against her heated skin as her leather jacket sleeve was pressed against her, her eyes breaking with the blue spread to briefly meet the golden eyes of the boy beside her.

“Why couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut?” She spoke before she could stop herself, her voice shaking briefly as her eyes were full of hurt as she stared at her best friend, “Could you not have some up with anything else as an idea? Now Jay wants me to risk god knows what just so he can get some shitty shipment, thanks for that, Scott.”

“Don’t blame me for this,” He shook his head, “Listen, I’m sorry you got picked to be the guinea pig in Jay’s plot but like you and Han were saying earlier, we need the money. And with the money from this deal, we’ll be rolling in it, we’ll be almost set up for success.”

“You’re really going to let me do something as stupid as this for some success?” She asked, her expression remaining unchanged, “You’re supposed to be my friend, since when did- “

“I would rather let you do something stupid than watch as my best friend gets shot,” He stopped her midsentence, “If doing this stupid means I don’t have to watch Jay raise a gun to you then I don’t care what anyone has to do, I’ll go along with it if it prevents losing you.”

Eloise could have sworn something was playing guitar with her heart strings, it felt as if someone had twanged of the chords, the vibration echoing throughout her body as her eyes watered ever so slightly at Scott’s words. She knew he only ever wanted to look out for her but god she couldn’t help but feel as though he was against her at the same time, especially in moments like these.

“El, can I have a chat with you out the back please?” Han’s voice called through the hall, tearing Eloise from her silent moment before she pushed her tears back, refusing to cry in front of anyone in that room, Scott included.

She excused herself from Scott, shoving her hands in her pockets as she followed the older man through the backdoor of the hideout, stepping outside into another side alley, no exits or entrance other than the door that led back inside.

“What is it, Han?” She asked, sighing as she leaned against the crate that was opposite the door, staring back at the man who invited her out here while he stood in front of the door, blocking her outside. She couldn’t hide the fed-up expression on her face, just wanting to go home and be alone for a few hours. Her wish to ignore everyone around her resonated stronger than any other feeling in that moment.

“I need to ask you a question, right, and I want the truth,” Han spoke out, his arms crossing along his chest, his muscles making an appearance as he broadened his shoulders, “No bullshit excuses, just a straight answer, got it?”

Eloise fought to roll her eyes as Han spoke, looking up at the man, one of the few who she solemnly trusted, waiting for him to ask his question. Typically, anytime someone was brought out there or separated from the group for a talking to by Han or Jay, it usually ended with a few punches, some yelling and a black eye or burst lip. But when it came to Han and Eloise, the most intense it got was the odd shout; hands were never raised to one another in any shape or form.

“Why were you in Queens the day after your birthday?” Han leaned against the door as he watched Eloise shift on her feet, “I had one of my snitches out there at the weekend, keeping an eye out for potential buyers and instead of coming back to me with names of buyers or dealers, he came back with some information, telling me that you, Eloise Gray, were spotted leaving a certain individual’s house in the early hours of the morning. Care to enlighten me?”

“You’re really using my full name? ‘M not gonna lie, I didn’t think that your style, Han,” She rolled her eyes, a bitter laugh brushing past her lips.

God, he made her feel like a child being scolded for drawing on the walls or something, the thought crossing her mind if he sometimes forgot she wasn’t the little girl who he met all those years ago.

“What’s it to you anyway?” She shrugged, subtly trying to avoid the question at hand, knowing that Han wasn’t going to like the answer. Eloise knew of the disapproval of members of the Kings being places they didn’t need to be, Jay putting the makeshift rule in place of if you have ‘friends’ then you take them to your own place. She never listened to Jay anyway, well at least she used to not listen, now she didn’t seem to have a choice.

“Because from what I hear that house doesn’t belong to just anyone,” Han sighed, squinting his eyes slightly as the sun rose up over the roof, lighting up the secluded area where they stood. “And I have a feeling you know, as well as I do, exactly who he is.”

Eloise released a breath she didn’t know she was holding, throwing her head back against the crate she leaned on, her hands somehow digging further into her pockets as she was questioned, “So what if I do?”

“I just hope you realise how that looks to the others; the fact that you slept with a police detective and then all of a sudden the Ryders’ deal goes bust,” Han leaned forward in his stance, watching as Eloise’s eyes widened in realisation of what he accusing, “If anyone else was to know, you know there would be no hes- “

“I didn’t sleep with him!” She snapped, an accusing finger pointed at Han, “I’ll admit that I had the intention to, but I swear to you, I never slept with him. I didn’t even know he was a cop until the morning after.”

“It doesn’t matter now,” Han sighed, “You know how it sounds, never mind how it looks, to anyone who knows of what either of you are.”

“And what am I supposed to do about that, Han, hm? I can’t change what happened,” She groaned, her knees bending as she knelt down, her head in her hands as she let out a frustrated yell.

Eloise noted the silence from Han, the only noise the alley being the sound of passing traffic on the opposite side of the fence to their right. Her heart thudded in her ears as she looked up, watching as Han’s brain ticked like clockwork, piecing together a plan that Eloise only dreaded to hear.

“Use it to your advantage,” He spoke after a moment, as if a wave of realisation washed over him, “No one knows that you know him and no one knows about Jay’s feud with the Ryders, you can use this to help you and to help us,” It was as if he suddenly hit a stroke of genius, his mind becoming blind with the possibility of the plan following through, “Reach out to the detective, and keep him busy for the next few weeks, give him false leads and keep the NYPD as far away from us as possible. Do whatever you need to do, sleep with him or don’t, hell even date him if you have to.”

Eloise couldn’t believe what she was hearing, her stomach twisting at the plan that was unfolding right in front of her, “So you want me to fake feelings for a guy I almost slept with in order to help Jay get his money?”

“No,” He shook his head, “I’m asking you to play along with this plan just until the deal is over and then you can cut him loose, no more pretending and no more secrets. This deal is going to make the Gypsy Kings a top tier association of the city. I need you to do this for me, please, Eloise.”

The twisting of her stomach couldn’t be ignored as she watched the pleading eyes of the man in front of her burrow into her own. She thought about Calum briefly, was it fair to pull him along all for the ploy of cashing in?

“How can you be sure he’ll even be interested in my ‘fake’ feelings?” Eloise asked, tilting her head to the side as she stood up straight again, “It’s game over if he doesn’t reciprocate.”

“Oh trust me, El, he’d be lucky for you to show interest, whether it be fake or not,” Han chuckled, taking a step closer to her as he rested his hands on her shoulders, “He took you back to his place that night with his intentions made very clear and considering he let you stay the night even when you said no, that shows that he’ll be more than willing to show some interest back if you give him half the chance.”

“And what if it falls through? What if it doesn’t work out?” Eloise let out a sigh, her hands finding the inside of her pockets yet again, her fingers fidgeting with their contents. She felt as if she was signing a makeshift contract, with every question she threw in Han’s direction it was another drop of imaginary ink in her pen as she signed up to the proposed plan.

“That won’t happen because you’re not going to let it,” Han calmly spoke, “Listen to me, El, this is your best option right now. You and I both know Jay isn’t afraid to follow through on a threat and so help me god if he did because you wouldn’t be the only one losing a life, I’d make sure he lost his in the worst way possible if he lay a finger on you.”

“So, you’re happy for me to play ‘happy girlfriend’ to a cop who could kill me if he finds out about our plan all because you can swear to me that you’ll kill Jay if he shoots me first?” Eloise scowled, eyes burning a hole in her boots as she stared down at them, “I could die either way and you’re happy to take that risk?”

“But you’ll be in control of the job, no one can interfere with how you run things. All you need to make sure you create as many holes as possible in the polices’ knowledge of that shipment,” Han whispered, cupping the young girl’s face to make her look at him, “This is all down to you. You play it how you want. You know I only want what’s best for you, El, and right now, this is your best shot. Do it for you, forget about Jay, forget about me, even forget about Scott. Do the job for the sole purpose of setting yourself up, maybe you can finally see somewhere new like you’ve always wanted, maybe you can see the world once this is over.”

Eloise sighed deeply when she felt him press a single loving kiss the top of her head, rubbing her cheek gently with the rough pad of his thumb before he stepped back to return to the inside of the hideout.

“Seriously, El, let this be something you do for you. Do it to make your family proud.”

Make your family proud. The words echoed in her ears as she stood there in the empty alley, a lump forming in her throat as she looked at the now empty doorway. How were her family supposed to be proud of a girl who was as broken as a warped record? How were her family supposed to be proud of a girl who got drunk to drown out the sad numb feeling in her brain so she could forget what it felt like? How were her family supposed to be proud of a girl who was about to play with someone’s heart for money?

Eloise couldn’t make her family proud. She could only make her family disappointed.

--- 

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[tiesandtea]

An interview with Brett and Mat about Night Thoughts for Musikknyheter.no, 19 January 2016. Photo & interview by Alyssa Nilsen.

On her website, you can also read her behind-the-scenes blog post about this interview.

(x)

I’m putting the full interview under the cut.

Suede's new album "Night Thoughts" is out Friday

The band will play the album in full and screen the accompanying film at their Oslo gig, We spoke to Brett Anderson and Mat Osman about the concept behind it all.

90s heroes Suede are back, and once again enjoying success with their music. Their previous album Bloodsports, which was released two years ago, did well both in and outside England. Their new album, Night Thoughts, will be released this coming Friday, and along with it, we get a film shot by photographer Roger Sargent. A while ago, Suede did a press-launch of the film in Oslo, and we met with vocalist Brett Anderson and bassist Mat Osman in a suite at posh hotel The Thief. The previous evening had seen an exclusive screening of the new Night Thoughts film, followed by a Q&A with the boys. The film is Sargent's own interpretation of the music on the album, and has not at all been controlled by the band. Mat says they saw some clips of the film along the way, but that they didn't interfere with the result at all, since it was meant to be an interpretation by someone not involved in the actual recording process. The result has become a beautiful, epic and slightly dark interpretation of the album Night Thoughts, and is a piece of art that carries the weight of the dramatic music very well. The film will be screened during the band's gigs, including the Sentrum Scene gig on February 2nd. People who won't have the opportunity to see any of the gigs will, according to Mat, still get the chance to see the film. The album will be released in two versions, and one of them will include a bonus DVD of the film. Still, he adds, the album won't need the film to work, it's meant as a companion piece - a different way of experiencing the album: «90% will never see any of the film, but it still made more sense to us to have this - a piece of art - rather than having three middling videos that you can switch off after three minutes. And at the same time, it fits the concept of having an album you can listen to in one go, from start to finish.»

The album format is a concept Suede have focused on a lot during their work on this record. They have intentionally made an album that works as a unity, rather than creating singles and strong stand-alone songs. Brett says the reason behind this is simply that they love the album format and being able to engage a listener for 45 minutes. He was obsessed with albums as a kid, and the idea of listening to a vinyl, and to turn the record after page 1 to listen to page 2, is something that still fascinates him: «Writing lots of songs and then juggling them to find out how they fit together to make the unity you want; to choose the opening song on page 2 to present that, even if that only applies to those listening to vinyls; which track ends the album... All classical albums I've loved have given the impression that the artist truly cared about those details and was aware of how the album would be listened to. And this is what we wanted to achieve with Night Thoughts.» Mat nods: «This is indeed something you've been pretty obsessed with.» The album is quite seamless and gapless with songs intertwining into each other, and Brett explains that when they wrote it, initially they had a lot of half-songs that worked sort of like bridges pieces, like Pale Snow or Learning To Be: «It was kind of like: "Pale Snow is in the same key as I Don't Know How To Reach You, so it can be a prelude to that song..." A lot of the sound design and how the album is threaded together, that was all arranged afterwards. Parts of the album was attempted recorded as one piece in a studio in Belgium, but that idea got a bit diluted when we realised where we were headed with the album.» He adds that it's not exactly a revolutionary concept - even though it might feel that way in our day and age. That, in itself, he says, is something he loves: Being different. To not just be a slave to fashion or do what everyone else does. He's convinced that there's still an "army" of people who are fans of the concept of albums. The title "Night Thoughts" is about the fear you feel in the middle of the night when you can't sleep because you feel like your world is caving in around you, when thoughts become too big and you feel too small. The record is about family relations and the confusing ambiguity within those relations - something which is very apparent in the accompanying film. Brett, who does most of the lyrics, has based it all on his own experiences of family, but does not feel like it's uncomfortable or scary to share these things with the world. Talking about it face to face on the other hand, THAT he feels can sometimes get uncomfortable and awkward, much better to write about it in a song and defuse it that way. In addition to that, he feels like the songs are just as ambiguous as life and relationships are, and will ultimately mean different things to different people. I Don't Know How To Reach You, is initialy about Bretts relationship with his dad, but could easily have been a break-up song about lost love; the same feeling, only in a different context. He adds that he feels it was a very interesting way to look at relationships, since rock songs normally are about romantic relationships, not family relations.

The band's upcoming concerts, including the Sentrum Scene-gig in Oslo, will be two-part gigs. The first half will be Night Thought played in full, whereas the second half will be hits and fan favourites. To add to this, the band will be performing the album from behind a curtain where the film will be shown. Brett is very excited at the prospect of performing without actually being seen, and feels it necessary for the format to work. If the screen had been behind them, they would have had to confront the audience in a traditional way, and it would have been way too ordinary. The fact that they're separated from the crowd, allows him to be a singer rather than a performer. Mat explains that they spent a long time figuring out how to make the album work live, even before they'd come up with the idea of the film, because it's so slow and thoughtful. The fact that it's performed from behind a screen forces the audience to listen to the music rather than being occupied watching the guys onstage. The first gigs they performed the album live, it was very interesting seeing the crowd's reaction: «When it all started people rushed to the front, and then the film started and they realised that upfront really wasn't the place to be, so they all wandered back», he laughs. The feedback the bands has received after the gig also suggests that the audience experienced the music in a completely different way than they normally would. Brett nods and adds that the fact that they've put the film in the forefront at the gigs, seems to simultaneously have perversely put the music in the forefront: «It seems to work. Surprisingly.» Night Thoughts comes out on the January 22nd, Suede plays Sentrum Scene on February 2nd.

#brett anderson #suede #night thoughts #mat osman

[crowleyellestair]

Jaskier’s Study of Expression - Valentine’s Special

AN// Happy Valentine’s Day! Here’s a special little thing I did for the occasion.

Slow burn, but fluff and fun.

Masterlist

WIP: Princess Bride AU – Jaskier x Reader

Geralt x Healer Reader Pt. 2

Part 4 of Jaskier x Reader – Adventures in the South

  No woman was ever supposed to be a Witcher. The Trail of Grasses were too vigorous even for trained male bodies. And that’s what she had led them to believe- that she was a young boy. Growing up, and before the trials, no one had questioned why Y/n would ever want to bathe separately or change alone. People had the ability to be introverted through and through. Who was everyone else to judge the boy? Witcher’s are orphans, found across the continent. Of course, some have spawned from the Law of Surprise, but they were Witchers all the same.

Y/n had been the only one in her batch to survive.

It was Vesemir who found out, going into the chamber and checking to see if she had successfully undergone the transformation. He wouldn’t have found out- not for another year at least when puberty struck, but somehow the light gleamed just right. Everyone would admit they had never seen her sleep, but seeing the usually tense and scowling face rest, people could immediately tell. It hadn’t mattered- women have been visitors at Kaer Morhen for seasons at a time, so this couldn’t be any different.

She was a Witcher, and she would be treated as such.

Their thought was correct in finding that nothing was different. Instead of a brother, they had a sister. A sister who was the best at concealing all emotion, though had the gentlest touch. A sister who would help with anything, no questions asked, get the job done perfectly, and still have time to relax over afternoon tea. A sister that had traveled at some point with each of her brothers, trying to set them all up with women from their adventures- though, all the boys would argue that it was for her own amusement, and less for their wellbeing.

Geralt was apart of the last generation; the final undertaking of creating a Witcher. Eskel and Geralt had been borne from the Grass together, sharing a tight bond. Y/n had only five years on Geralt, but she filled a void in him that he didn’t know he was missing. She took him under his wing, void of emotion, but still giving him all the love and support an older sister should.

Because of their bond, Geralt knew Y/n could feel. Ask any other man at Kaer Morhen and they’d tell you she was the reason they all still believed the Trail wiped emotion. Sure, Y/n could flinch, but never a brow. Never the corner of her lips. Lambert used to joke that she had lost the ability to smile from a loss of muscle integrity in her face. All of them had been sitting around the table when the statement was made, Y/n sitting at the end. All eyes had fell on her, and she responded in kind. She gently placed her fork beside her plate, let out a deep breath, and smiled. It was a kind, gentle smile- one you’d only find if you asked a pure hearted soul. They all laughed as it fell, and Lambert was put in his place. But Geralt knew, that despite her exterior, she felt. And she felt hard. Geralt was an anomaly, his emotions still very prevalent in his personality. He would be scolded time and time again by Vesemir growing up, but Y/n had pulled him aside one night, and told him he wasn’t alone.

So, when Y/n knocked on his door that night, he wasn’t completely surprised.

He had been settling down to meditate on the dingey inn floor, but her soft voice calling to let her in stopped him. When the door opened to reveal her to him, a blush was spread over the usual pale cheeks. He wordlessly stepped aside, and she immediately flung onto the bed as a child would. She paused, staring at the ceiling before covering her face in her hands, and expelling a groan.

“I don’t know what to do.” Geralt’s lip tipped up, sitting next to her on the cot. His tone came out playful, but he truly did want to know.

“Jaskier?”

“Yes.” Her answer was one concealed in another groan. He had noticed a while back that the bard had shifted his focus from him to his sister. Geralt and Y/n frequently traveled together, but it wasn’t until Jaskier caught up with him, did he realized the bard and the woman had never met. The two had ‘Geralt cycles’ opposite of the other. It was almost as if fate pushed them together to finally meet when they had.

And when they did, Y/n was floored.

That first night, rather than asking the bard personal questions, she waited till he fell asleep and berated Geralt for answers.

“What has our friend gotten himself into this time?” His amber eyes met her liquid gold ones when she dropped her hands. Geralt crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at her. Though she was upside down to him from her laying position, he could still perfectly see the dramatization that has rubbed off from the bard onto her.

“My heart.” He let out an amused hum, his small smirk becoming a grin.

“Then why aren’t you out there?” She rolled her eyes and sat up.

“It’s not that simple, Geralt. When you’ve lived as long as I have-.”

“You’re five years older-.”

“I can’t just sit there like an obedient pup, taking compliments left and right. What am I supposed to do? I can’t dish them back either- I fear that would make them sound disingenuous.” She cast her gaze downwards, finding that her shoes seemed interesting.

There was a long pause, Y/n finally looking at Geralt again. He too had started to look at her shoes, but when he felt her eyes on him, the only reply he had a small shrug.

“Really?” He met her gaze, and gave an understanding look. He felt bad, as when he first fought with Yennifer, he asked for counseling from her. In fact, after every instance of meeting the sorceress, Geralt had asked for advice from Y/n. He did want to help, but all of the advice he had received from her was on how to deal with already being in love, not how to start a relationship.

“I would only be able to recite your own words on these matters.” Y/n’s shoulders slouched, and she lazily pulled herself from the cot.

“Okay.” She straightened and headed for the door. She stepped out, but popped her head back in to say, “If I die of embarrassment, don’t make a scene.”

 “What rhymes with amber?” Jaskier’s head lolled to the side, almost falling onto her shoulder. They had been somewhat huddled together to keep the bard warm. They had gotten caught in a chilly thunderstorm high in the Kestrel Mountains. They had a job to eradicate the enclave of Harpies that have made nests there. The trio were lucky enough to find a small cave right as the storm had started. Geralt had left the two towards the opening, scouting out some of the tunnels to find any danger.

It had only been a minute until Jaskier started to shiver. She would scold him on not dressing appropriately, but she couldn’t help but love his flashy outfits. Y/n had simply kept her mouth shut as she draped her heavy cape over him as he sat. When it happened, he refused it, saying she too could get cold. Y/n heavily protested, but gave up, settling under the cape next to him.

“Clamber. Geralt does a lot of that, so it would fit nicely, and be accurate.” Jaskier gave a little chuckle that she felt blow against her neck. Controlling her expressions was easier than breathing, but major alarms where going off. She couldn’t think straight be all the internal screaming occurring.

“Who said I was writing about that clot pole?” A laugh came tearing out of her throat that she tried to cover up with a cough. Jaskier simply looked down at his pad of paper and smiled. He knew her reputation for being as ruthless and unbreakable as the worst curses known to man. Jaskier thought he had a lot to do to rework Geralt’s reputation, but practically fainted at the sight of the workload following her.

But he was just as happy to help her. Eager, almost, as it meant he had to be near her to get all the details. While she showed no emotion, she was quite the talker. He appreciated that she would never let a question go unanswered. She would respond to all his quips, jests and remarks, no matter what mood he tried to perceive her to be in. And she did remain impartial to all political affairs, unlike her Witcher brethren, but that led for great discussion.

It was only recently however, that he realized there was only on thing she never responded to, complements. It seemed like her brain would shut down, and awkwardly segway to something else. Jaskier adored those moments, but he just added it to the list of things he already loved about her. She was the definition of perfect in his eyes. Strong, but gentle. Caring, but fierce. Impartial but passionate. Everything he thought the ideal being should be. The price to pay, it seemed, was her expressions. Now, Jaskier loved expressions. On anybody. It doesn’t matter who or why, but he loves to see the what people are feeling.

It was lucky for him that the only way he could see that on her was to flirt.

“I’m serious. Who said I was writing about him?” Y/n didn’t look in his direction, continuing to stare at the patterns on the cave wall.

“I apologize for assuming, then.” He shoved his shoulder against hers in a playful manner.

“Don’t worry about it. It has been the meanest thing you’ve done to me, but since it is the only thing, I’ll let it slide.” She gave a soft nod that Jaskier has come to know means a smile. Most would place a large or bashful grin, but she will give a slow nod in place of that. Curt nods are used for large smiles, usually used in the heat of the action or in place of a laugh. Downcast eyes meant for a frown. Side glances, that he has now become very fond of, signify her embarrassment. He loved seeing her look around for something- anything else to talk about. Her anger was harder to see, but she detested wearing gloves, but like Geralt wore. When she was angry, he could see the whites of her knuckles. Her skin had been so scarred and so taught that the force she needed to make the discoloration prevalent was immense. All of these things have been studied intently by him. He had given up charming others as he was usually too focused on her. He had to analyze all of her to try and break the enigma that was Y/n.

He was head over heels for her, and all of this was trying to calculate if she felt the same. So far, it seemed true.

“Tell me,” he started to inquire. She turned to meet his gaze, there faces centimeters apart. “What’s your favorite colour?” Y/n didn’t hesitate when she responded with,

“Pale blue.” She continued to stare at his irises, the object that convinced her a while ago that their colour outshone all others. When Jaskier blinked, she was brought out of her trance, and her head tilted away slightly, her gaze scanning the wall. The side glance didn’t go unnoticed, in fact flaming his need to continue.

“Hmmm. Could you give me an example? Is it like an afternoon sky or like the sea?”

“I uh-.” She coughed, fully looking away. “I don’t know, I guess. Just blue.” Jaskier had a plan, and since Geralt was gone for the moment, he decided it was a good a time as any.

“Um, Y/n?” He fiend a worried tone Her head whipped back with a stern look. Of course, her version of stern was a ghost of a squint. “Is something wrong?”

“Is there? I’m not aware of anything out of place.” He could feel her hand that rested against his leg shift towards her sword.

“Well, I can see a flush creeping up your neck…” Her squint dropped, and she straightened her posture. He watched as a flush did actually appear. His heart clenched as her cheeks became dusted with a light pink. The contrast of the colour against her skin was beautiful. The only thing, he thought, was a missing glow- all Gods glow.

“All Gods what?” It was Jaskier’s turn to flush as he spoke his thoughts openly on accident. Though, seizing the opportunity, he complied in telling the truth.

“I just thought that you needed a glow, as all Gods glow.” He watched as she side glanced again, but he saw a smile grace her face. He jumped up from under the cape to kneel in front of her. Her expression showed one of pure shock, and her back pushed itself as far as it could into the cave wall.

“Jaskier-.”

“Let me see it again- I couldn’t really see it at all.” It seemed to the bard that he had broken her. Her features morphed into one of great confusion. “That beautiful smile that you failed at hiding. Let me see it.” Her face read shock, and he leaned forward.

Again, his face was centimeters away. His hand rested on top of her bent knee, his body somewhat fitting in between her slightly parted legs. Y/n’s tongue darted out to swipe her bottom lip, and he made it obvious that he followed the movement. His eyes found hers boring into his.

“Tell me,” he started again. “Do you love me as I you?” A bewildered smile spread fast, falling slightly, then continued to spread. Jaskier’s chest felt like a fire was spreading just as fast. As if he had a forest just begging to be ignited. He returned the smile with one of his own. He knew he had his answer. Even if she didn’t verbally reply, he knew. He knew he was the only one, outside of perhaps Geralt, to make her smile.

“Julian Alfred Pankratz, you really did get into my heart.”

#jaskier imagine #jaskier x reader #dandelion x reader #geralt #witcher imagine

[angryknightstatesmantrash]

It’ll Be Okay

A Criminal Minds One Shot

MY MASTERLIST

Requests and Tagslist open!

[I’m super willing to write more parts with London or to continue this part let me know in the requests!]

Original Focus Character: London Emma Schmidt, 17

Team Status: First few episodes of season 3 before Rossi→ Hotch, Reid, Morgan, Prentiss, JJ, Garcia

Potential Triggers: Sexual abuse and assault → 2 potentially triggering scenes. One depicting the after thoughts and another briefly detailing what it looks like on the outside from a distance.

National Sexual Assault Hotline: Call 1-800-656-4673

London loved her job.

Sure, the pay sucked, but the hours were relatively constant, the people were amazing, and even though the team could function without her, they all pretend it couldn’t.

Working as a (low pay) intern at the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit was a dream come true for her. She had landed the gig through her councilor, who had handed her the pamphlet and application.

Mrs. VerHagen knew about her passion for going into some form of law enforcement or government, and how badly she wanted to join the bureau. With that knowledge, as soon as she saw the new intern program that would match one student to each unit in the building, she knew London would be interested.

As soon as the deadline had occurred, she received the letter she was accepted and would need to submit a skills profile so that each unit could choose which intern they felt would fit their team best. It all seemed very pet adoption style, but if it meant she had a better chance of making it into the FBI after high school, she would take it.

Once she submitted that, she waited another very anxious several months before getting word that the Behavior Analysis Unit had chosen her from all the survey talented individuals.

Since she was only a high school junior, seventeen years old, she couldn’t go on trips with the team’s and parent’s approval- which she knew would never happen- so she just stayed in the office, helping Garcia from her cave, or tidying things and filing old cases.

Today, however, was one of the days that she would go straight from her public high school to the bureau’s headquarter. She smiled at the main guard at the main entrance, letting them search her school bag and scan her employee badge clipped to the front pocket of her jean jacket.

As she stepped out of the elevator, she was greeted by JJ waving to her while walking from her office, “hey London, I have a few things for you to do today while you’re in, the list is sitting on your desk!”

“Sounds great, JJ! I’ll get right on it,” London called as they passed and she entered the bullpen and set her bag down onto her desk.

“Hey, Schmidt, did you make a coffee run?”

Moving her head to follow the voice she rolled her eyes at Special Agent Derek Morgan, one of the people she loved the most at the BAU, sitting at his desk, relaxing as he leaned against the desk of the person in the office she was closest with, Doctor Spencer Reid. “I didn’t know I was supposed to, I can see what the break room has, but I know you’ll still complain.”

Morgan laughed and outstretched his hand, an almost empty coffee mug hanging for her to grasp, “You know my order?”

London laughed and took the mug, “splash of milk one spoon of sugar, yeah, I know,” she laughed. Looking over to Spencer she raised her eyebrows, “want any Reid? I know your order, don’t worry.”

Spencer nodded and smiled at her, “Yeah, sure. Thanks, London. How was school?”

Shrugging, she leaned back against her desk with the mugs held in her hands. “As good as school can be, but hey, I don’t have to go back until 8am tomorrow.”

The two men laughed as she shrugged and moved to fill up the coffee mugs, “I’ll be back!”

After London filled and returned the mugs to her coworkers and a mug for herself, she started on the list that JJ had given her.

It was a simple list, just filling out some basic forms and organizing records. Sometimes spending so much time with the agents. She made small talk with the people around her.

Tricking Reid into doing her homework for her, throwing small things at Morgan while he wasn’t looking, and sending cat videos to the group chat she was in with JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia were just a few.

It wasn’t until Morgan spoke again that she remembered the time, and what waited for her at home, “Hey, Lon, it’s Tuesday, don’t you gotta be back home by 10?”

Looking up from her AP Chemistry homework, she nodded, “Yeah, why?”

Prentiss looked at the clock sitting on his desk before chiming in, “It’s 9:30 right now.”

Her heat dropped. She was already dreading going home for the fact it was the night of the week she hated wholeheartedly, but being late would make everything that much worse, “Shit, the bus leaves at 9:45, do you think I could make it?”

Reid looked at her, “Hey, I can drive you home, no problem.”

She shook her head, scrambling to shove her books in her bag, log out of the computer, and chug whatever was left at the bottom of her coffee mug, “Yeah, but that’ll only save a few minutes, I’ll still be late.”

At that point, London didn’t have time to allow herself to remember that not only did Reid hate people in his personal space but he also hated driving.

Morgan looked at Prentiss, they made eye contact with a mutual concern.

London was always punctual, that’s just how she was, but on Tuesdays towards the end of the night she was always that much more on edge, only for her to return on Thursday fine.

Once she had gotten ready at her desk at a seemingly superhuman speed, she looked at Spencer expectantly. “Chop chop, we gotta go, come on.”

With keys in hand, he was still grabbing his side bag while she all but dragged him out the office, neglecting the elevator after deeming it, “too time consuming and slow”.

Once they had gotten into the car, London’s leg wouldn’t stay still, it was bouncing and she was picking at her nails, something the team had quickly identified as her “tells”.

“So, are you going to explain why you’re in such a rush?” Spencer asked, seeing it as appropriate to have an explanation.

London shrugged before pointing the corner to turn leading him into a neighborhood that could not be easily classified into lower or middle class. It was the first time any of the team members had brought her home after her shift.

Once he pulled into the driveway, he moved to get out, but was interrupted by London stopping him with a forceful, “what are you doing?”

Spencer looked at her front door, which had the porch light on, and the man standing in the window before clarifying, “I was going to meet your dad and siblings, you talk about them all the time. More your siblings than dad, but still.”

It was a terrible idea. Bruce would be mad enough at London for being late, let alone if she brought someone home, let alone on a Tuesday night.

It wasn’t a secret to the team that her mother was dead, she was open about the ordeal. A drunk driving accident, something that was all too common. It was also true she talked about her younger siblings, little Lance and Jessica, all the time, she loved them and proved every Tuesday she would do anything for them. But the threat of her father, Bruce, out weighed the desire to introduce her family with her friends from the BAU.

Frantically shaking her head at him, her eyes darting from her father, to the clock on the dashboard reading that she was at least fifteen minutes late to curfew, and then Spencer. “No, no no no no, I’m sure you’ll get to meet them sometime but tonight won’t be it. I promise I’ll pick them up from school one day and take them to the office even. But right now I need to go.”

Before Reid could even argue, she was already out of the car and standing outside the front door. “I’ll see you and the rest of the team on Thursday! Have a good night and get some sleep!”

After the kind words she yelled at him she quickly entered her home, shut the door, and turned off the light.

Spencer knew that something was wrong, but nonetheless he drove away from the house and discussed the peculiarities of the situation with the team once he arrived back at the office.

While Reid drove back to the office, London was dealing with the rage of her father inside the home.

“You’re late.” The empty cans laid on the coffee table and refused to let her forget the impending doom that polluted the air around her.

“I know, I got wrapped up, it won’t happen again, I promise.” She looked to the kitchen table, “where are the kids? You know the deal, you do whatever you want to me but you don’t lay a hand on them.”

Downing the rest of the can he was holding, London’s father moved towards her, “I don’t care about what the brats do. What I do care about, is what we’re about to do, and I’m going to take my sweet time tonight,” the way he caressed the side of her face made her almost as sick as what was about to happen would, “sweetheart.”

Laying in her fathers bed, naked with tears streaming down her face and under the covers with him, all London could remember was when she hadn’t grown so numb to her father raping her.

She used to resist. Sometimes she wouldn’t go home on Tuesdays, as that was always the night he got so wasted he could barely remember who his own children were and would beat them senseless.

London learned the hard way that if she wasn’t there to take the brunt of it, it would go to her ten year old brother, or six year old sister, and she couldn’t let that happen. It wasn’t like her older brother, Bryan, knew about it. Once mom died, dad spiraled, and Bryan left for college never to look back at just the right time.

So her father had his way with her every Tuesday night so long as she kept her grades up, he didn’t get black out wasted, and she met her 10 o’clock curfew every Tuesday night, and 11 o’clock curfew the rest of the week, or until her father decided to add an extra day to the schedule.

She knew that she would find herself back where she was tomorrow night, she was late, what should she have expected?

She was tired, she was so tired, more tired than she usually was on a night after. It was a Wednesday, the conveniently planned off-day unless she was called in to help JJ brief the team on a new case, something she had only been allowed to help with two or three times before.

She had drifted through the day ready to go home and get the torture and punishment of being late by her father, until her phone rang as the last bell rang.

Answering it she heard JJ’s lovely voice through the speakers asking for her to go into the office and help with a couple house/office keeping things, help out the team a bit overall.

London agreed, only asking if she could go in a bit later to set up Lance and Jessica’s dinner and evening situations. She felt bad for leaving them alone as often as she did, but on days she regularly had to go into her internship, she had arrangements with her kind neighbors established.

JJ, obviously, agreed.

It was around five thirty in the evening when London made her way into the office. She still smiled at the people she passed, and greeted the security guards who, although were confused about her break in schedule, were still happy to see her.

As soon as she got to her desk she dropped her bag, half heartedly waved at Prentiss who smiled brightly at her, and went to get the most needed mug of coffee probably ever.

Reid had approached her shortly after she sat down, “hey, are you alright? You seemed really upset last night.”

Glancing up from her laptop, London gave him a faint smile, “yeah, sorry about that. My dad’s just strict about curfew.”

Morgan chimed in from his desk, “only on Tuesday?”

London looked between Morgan and Reid before squinting her eyes and looking between them, “Yeah, my siblings get home earlier those days. Why? You guys better not be profiling me, there’s a rule against it for a reason.”

Reid shook his head and shrugged as he sipped his coffee, and Morgan leaned into watching as she stared into space after the three remaining in the situation for what felt like lifespans.

Nodding to Spencer, Morgan, and Prentiss, who didn’t want to be directly a part of the investigation but was still invested in the girls wellbeing, watched as he placed his land on her arm.

Against their hopes, she flinched away and panicked, darting her eyes around the office and her breathing escalated. “What?”

Spencer just looked at her for a moment before asking, “I’m going to be done with paperwork early tonight, I can give you a ride home again tonight if you’d like.”

She looked at him before slowly agreeing, rubbing her forehead in her hand, “yeah, sure, sounds great. Curfew’s 10 again tonight, though.”

Spencer looked back to Morgan and subtly nodded before replying to the girl, “sounds good.”

After an odd car ride to London’s house filled with weirdly general but specific questions from Reid, she once again found herself standing inside the front door of her house, ready to let her father take advantage of her so long as it meant her siblings were safe.

Reid sat in his car parked outside of London’s house with his binoculars in one hand, and his phone in the other. It felt wrong that he was there, spying on his department’s intern that he had grown to become friends with.

Friends care about and help friends. London needed help. That much was clear and had been subtly obvious since day one, the only part left unclear was from what.

***TRIGGER WARNING: ACT (AS MENTIONED ABOVE) BEGINS***

He sat watching through the large front bay window as she stood to her father, which Garcia and other research found to be Bruce, until he pressed her against a wall and moved his face close to hers.

There was a look of resistance on London’s face before he said something that made it drop into defeat and she let her father push her down the hallway.

Spencer had a sick feeling in her stomach. So far, everything that was happening had matched with him, Morgan’s, and Prentiss’s theories. Someone was molesting their intern, they just weren’t sure who.

Watching through the window, Reid watched as London was pushed into the middle of the room. It looked like it was hers, the light blue walls seemed to fit the girl so well he wasn’t sure whose else room it could be.

Spencer hated watching, but he knew that if there was another witness it would make it that much easier to put the bastard away once this was over.

With that in mind, he watched as the girl shook her head at her father before he slapped her face, and moved to close the blinds.

He could still see her silouette as she removed her shirt.

It was all he had to see to call Derek Morgan on his phone and say the only words he needed to, “Hey, we were right. It’s her dad.”

***TRIGGER WARNING: ACT (AS MENTIONED ABOVE) ENDS***

One week and one day later, London works at the BAU, and she loves her job and couldn’t think of a time she genuinely disliked it.

That particular Thursday, however, doing anything else was more appealing to London than going to work.

Maybe it was the sinking feeling that someone had figured out her secret with all the questions they had been asking for a week. Maybe it was the day after feeling she had grown used to when she missed curfew for the second week in a row. Maybe it was just because she forgot her lunch money and was even more tired than Wednesday.

She followed her regular routine through the hallways and elevator to the BAU office floor where the desks of the agents were empty, something that wasn’t uncommon when they were out of town on missions and JJ would have Penelope give her tasks or email her a list.

The uncommon part about the desks being empty was that Doctor Reid was standing next to her desk.

She could tell something was wrong. It was established early that Spencer had the worst poker face, and she had gotten significantly better at profiling since the internship had started.

She was determined to find out what was happening. Did something happen to her siblings? Did something happen to her? Was she being fired?

“What’s up, Spence? Why the long face?”

First, he nodded at her desk and then to the conference room, then he spoke to her, “why don’t you set your stuff down and come join the team in the conference room. We have a case we’d like you to see.”

“A case?” She had been allowed to sit in on several briefings, even help JJ give the briefings, and she often helped Penelope when she was incharge of her interning, but they never waited for her so that she could see.

Nodding, Spencer walked next to the girl around the bullpen and up the staircase. “How was school? Did that boy ask you out yet? Did you know that Morgan had Garcia dig into him for you?”

Laughing she shook her head, “You guys are ridiculous.”

There was a shift in the atmosphere when she walked into the conference room. The entire team was sitting there, and it seemed they were waiting for her and Spencer. “What’s going on? Am I getting fired because I swear Morgan was the one who broke the mug on Tuesday.”

“Hey!” Morgan exclaimed as the girl shrugged at him. What she was saying wasn’t entirely true, but she wasn’t about to get fired over dropping a mug because a boy texted her.

Hotch smiled softly at her before calming her, “no, you’re not getting fired, London. Reid, can you close the door?”

“Okay, cool. What’s this about then?”

It got quiet again as the tension in the room was insufferable.

Looking around the room, London watched as every member of the team avoided her eye contact. “What’s going on? I’m not a fan of the whole-everyone-knows-something-London-doesn’t thing.”

Emily looked up to meet her eyes before speaking in a calm and comforting manner, “London, we know what’s happening at home.”

What’s happening at home. Which part? It might not be as bad as London was thinking. Maybe they don’t know about Tuesdays, they only know about Bruce’s drinking problem.

“What? What do you mean, what’s going on at home?” The change in London’s voice was palpable. It was strained, like she was about to cry if it was what she thought it was, which was absolutely true.

JJ cleared her throat softly, “we know what your dad does to you on Tuesdays. And every night you miss curfew.”

London was glad she didn’t move her head to make eye contact with JJ, she kept her eyes unmoving, staring straight in front of her. Her jaw was clenched, her breathing was heavy but steady, and her fingers clenched in and out of fists.

After a few beats of silence, Derek spoke to her, “Lon, it’s okay. We just want to help you.”

London blinked before looking up and diluting her face to a neutral position before asking, “Alright. Are we done here?”

The team wasn’t sure what was worse, how natural ignoring trauma was to a seventeen year old, or the fact she was so calmly numb to the fact that there were tears rapidly falling down her face without notice from her.

Spencer then did one of the most unexpected things that he could have done, he walked up to the girl and pulled her into his arms. It was then the dam broke and London started sobbing uncontrollably, moving to clutch the man in a hug.

“It’s okay, London. It’ll be okay, I promise.”

-

concepts for a part 2/series

#heartbeat #spencer reid owns me #intern #bau #criminal minds #fanfiction #angst #spencer reid #original character #writing #masterlist #fluff #london #london the bau intern

[theseerasures]

Frozen 2 Reactions, Pass #2

went to see the movie again yesterday, which helped solidify a few more thoughts percolating in the back of my head. i don’t think this one will be QUITE as long as the first, but everything’s going under a cut anyway because i’ve met me

tbh most of this is just me dunking on Elsa

one of the things that i think both helped AND hindered the movie is that they really did make an effort to make the sequel its own separate story from the original--hence the timeskip, the retcons, and so forth. on the positive end of things there’s obviously a much lower barrier of entry for the like...three people who never watched the first movie, and the characters get to feel more grown up while remaining (thanks no doubt to the writing team remaining much the same) consistent enough that the changes to their personalities still make sense. it never feels like it’s retreading old ground, and if fans want to connect the new ideas and themes to the older material (and i count myself among those, what with my first fic in almost four years being about exactly that), there are plenty of kernels with which to do so.

on the other hand: some of the new plot stuff really just DOESN’T work with what’s already been established. chief among those is the idea that ~~~the story of the enchanted forest with requisite creepy lullaby~~~ is a well remembered bedtime story for BOTH Anna and Elsa?? like what does this imply about their childhood? that their parents told them this same bedtime story over and over again, but separately in their own respective rooms? that Elsa got charming bedtime stories about magic-based conflict and war???

(”yeah papa!!! please tell me again about how magic can not only kill people but also SUNDER AN ENTIRE LAND FROM REALITY, that story’s my favorite!!! looking forward to some really spirited nightmares tonight!”)

or are we supposed to assume this is like. the thing bad Batman writers try to do where everything poignant that has ever happened to Bruce happened the night his parents were murdered? that Elsa and Anna remember the story only because it was the night of the Accident (tm)? because that’s...also stupid, i gotta say.

i love that Elsa’s verse in this song start with “the winds are restless” bc it’s exactly the way i imagine her starting conversations with her hapless subjects. “good morning, Your Majesty! how goes the kingdom?” “the winds are restless” “...” “...” “...yes. that was...something i noticed as well”

Local Sisters Make Every Time They See Each Other in Town a God Damn Event

ever since @professorspork pointed out how stupid the “and i promise you the flag of Arendelle will always fly” line is in Some Things Never Change i haven’t been able to stop laughing about it. it’s just such a BLATANT telegraph: “whooo!!! yes! Arendelle!!! we all love that place and want to save it, and you can tell because the song said so!”

the Friends shot of them all walking back to the castle and Anna has kicked her heels off is great though i love it

also love the multitude of shots where it’s Elsa and someone else and we get a peek at her silent reactions to whatever the other person is saying. not since Legolas have we been blessed with so many memeable dumb faces

“ah yes, Mama’s words! cuddle close, scootch in! you remember her saying that all the time right Elsa?? after all it’s not like you have any decade-long baggage about not being able to be near anyone, most especially family members, because you were deathly afraid that you’d instantly murder them”

more thoughts on why Into the Unknown stands out so vividly in my mind: the first movie’s songs by and large did a VERY good job of moving plot around while still exploring character emotion. Do You Want to Build a Snowman moves us through ten YEARS of story, while still leaving space for long, unsung moments where we just get to process what’s going on between the sisters as they grow up. For the First Time in Forever catches us up with the sisters, gets the gates open, and has Anna meet Hans at the end, a pivotal moment for both her and the plot. Love Is an Open Door has them get engaged and sets up the rest of the story. Let It Go is Elsa’s big character shift and sets up the goal for the other characters: the ice palace is where they all need to go to bring back summer. the FtFTiF reprise begins the endgame. the other songs are all more fluff pieces that JUST serve to introduce characters, which is why they’re...not as good, and most people don’t really care about them, but we can accept that they’re there because the strength of the other material.

with Frozen 2...Into the Unknown is pretty much the ONLY song that fits into the first category: Elsa works through her conflicted feelings about wanting to explore the unknown, AND wakes up the spirits (sidebar: her pure joy at using her powers to communicate with the spirits is SO GOOD, guys. it gets me every time). the other ones just kind of transporting their singers into the Emotional Expression Dimension for them to do their thing. sometimes the songs transport them to the next plot point while they’re singing, but nothing really happens DURING them. i can give Some Things Never Change a pass on this because it’s supposed to be about stasis (and because i’ve bitched about it enough on other fronts), but much as i love Lost in the Woods and Next Right Thing for their character exploration they’re really just music videos to get us to the next scene. Next Right Thing is particularly egregious about locking the plot in the boot--the ENTIRE sequence is just Anna climbing or slumping against random rocks until the song ends and she can actually move the story along. one could make an argument that Show Yourself does get stuff done, but it’s still mostly Elsa running around in a cave for three entire minutes before we get to that point

i don’t think Get This Right is perfect but it DOES pull off the multitasking well, and it would have not only resolved the torturously stretched engagement subplot early on but creates a nice thematic echo to Love Is an Open Door: she really knows Kristoff, she really loves him, and she proposes. it’s her choice.

Kristoff’s line about question of how/question of whether works great for highlighting his continued insecurities, but again: either we’re supposed to think he’s wrong and Anna has ALSO been thinking in terms of how and she’s just been too busy in sister-drama-land, and this whole plot should have been resolved early, or we’re supposed to think that Anna really ISN’T on the same page, in which case they...probably should have a serious conversation about where they see their relationship going and not just get engaged at the end because Elsa made a new dress

as soon as an HD version comes out i demand a gifset juxtaposing Anna slumped against a rock with Anna slumped against Elsa’s door at the end of Do You Want to Build a Snowman, because this whole sequence is where the distance between sequel and original really WORKED. Anna is singing about how alone she feels, how she’s never felt such darkness before, when we know that that’s...not true. she's felt pretty close before--not long ago that was her whole LIFE. it’s natural for her to feel this way, because being knocked off your happiness always hurts more than never having it in the first place, but we the audience get to have faith in her, because we remember. eventually she does too, and now she knows exactly how resilient she can be, exactly how strong she’s ALWAYS been.

the animated faces are SO GOOD. we see Anna flicker through seventeen feelings at once when Kristoff rescues her from the dam: delayed fear, relief, and--this is the crucial one for me--horror that she survived, because that means she’s going to have to live with the fact that Elsa didn’t.

Elsa riding into the sunset of her sapphic life is great obviously but every time i see it i worry that the movie is going to end with the same face smear effect as the Prisoner of Azkaban movie

#disney #frozen 2 #helen writes meta

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Episode 13: Wait and Hope

Here are my thoughts

SPOILERS AHEAD

1:00 - I love this scene. I know it’s all in Martin’s head but I really wish Malcolm was this honest with Martin all the time. Plus it shows that Martin is aware, on some level, that he’s been hurting Malcolm for years. 

2:19 - Okay. A couple of things here: 1) Something about having Under Pressure play right now is genius. It’s fun yet truthful. 2) Listening to Mr. David and Martin’s exchange is really interesting to me. It’s almost like Mr. David is friends with Martin. I mean Mr. David is being way nicer than a professional respect requires. AND 3) Watching Tom Payne do planks/yoga is very attractive. Dang. 

3:00 - So, we get a close up of 5 thin, tall pill bottles here. In about 4 seconds, when Malcolm is throwing pills into his mouth we will see 4 pill bottles of varying heights and thicknesses. So one of two things is happening 1) these scenes weren’t filmed on the same day and someone in the props department goofed or 2) Malcolm takes 9 different pill bottles worth of meds and this is just round two. BUT considering the 4 bottles of varying thicknesses reappear when Jessica shows up - I’m going to assume this is some minor on-set goof that they figured no fan would be neurotic enough to care about. They were wrong. I care deeply. In fact - I really want to know exactly what pills Malcolm takes. 

3:11 - So is Malcolm’s fridge empty because he just got out of the hospital? Because there was definitely food in there during 1x5 when he made grilled cheese with Dani. And there were frozen foods in his freezer in 1x8. Does Jessica stock the fridge/freezer? Is that why there’s usually food? Because it’s cannon that Malcolm doesn’t eat much... I’m way too invested in the contents of Malcolm’s fridge. Furthermore - I love the fact that Malcolm reaches for a handful of of licorices from that massive container - it’s just weird enough to be completely endearing and totally in character for Malcolm. It implies that there is no other dry, perishable foods in his loft - because you know, he could’ve eaten some dry-cereal or instant oatmeal here. But nope. The boy goes for candy. Why do I love this dysfunctional lunatic? He can barely keep himself alive.

3:21 - I love that Malcolm watches Ainsley’s reports like a Good Big Brother. I mean, given Malcolm’s job, he probably would watch the news daily regardless of who was reporting it. But there’s something just so sweet about the fact that he watches Ainsley instead of any of the other reporters. Ugh - something about it just warms my cold, dead soul. 

3:41 - hahahaha Ok. We all love the white suit because it’s weird, funny as hell, and just the right amount of attractive - but why does no one talk about the shoes? Malcolm isn’t wearing socks. He’s become one of those hipster dudes who wear fancy shoes without socks. I’m loving it. ALSO why is no one admiring Jessica? This woman is so extra that she knows her grown-ass son’s suit measurements and goes to buy him a suit that fits perfectly without his knowledge. Then she forces him to wear the white suit out of the house. It’s just. Wow. I love her. 

3:50 - I love that Jessica totally only bought that suit for Malcolm because she didn’t think he would be caught dead anywhere near the precinct in it.

4:09 - Check out the look that Malcolm gives Jessica here. He’s sad. He’s sad and feeling guilty that he’s worrying his mother. That’s why he put on the ridiculous suit for her. That’s why he’s not getting mad at her for waltzing into his apartment unannounced (again). That’s why he’s letting her fuss over of him. Because he wants to make her feel better. 

4:28 - This. This is why Jessica is being extra. She knows that if Malcolm is left alone he will skip his flight in order to achieve a “staycation in New York”. And if he takes a staycation he will inevitably end up hanging out at the precinct; working. She’s being extra but it’s justified - she’s trying to ensure that Malcolm takes care of himself. She said it herself - she doesn’t need him to love her, she just needs him alive. Right now - Malcolm is scaring her because she’s not so sure he wants to live. She’s not an idiot, she knows that Malcolm won’t take care of himself unless she literally removes him from the country, effectively taking away all of his opportunities to work. So. She. Does. 

4:31 - Soooo is no one going to talk about the fact that Jessica is pushing Malcolm out the door - with luggage - while his meds are sitting on his counter?!? Has she checked that he has meds packed in secondary containers? Just seems like something that Jessica would stress about, especially in Malcolm’s current mental state.

4:46 - I love this. Jessica called Gil to come and pick up Malcolm. The one person she knows Malcolm won’t fight about his vacation. He’ll whine but he won’t fight Gil - not after their fight last episode. This also implies that Gil and Jessica had a long discussion about forcing Malcolm to take a vacation due to his current mental state. They totally had a parenting conversation about their grown-ass child and I am living for it. I also want to hear it.

4:54 - I’m not sure we’ve seen Gil this happy since he greeted Malcolm during the pilot. It’s precious. When Gil says he’s proud of Malcolm I’m pretty sure my heart grew two sizes. Why can’t we have more soft moments like this? 

5:00 - This scene in the car is awesome. Malcolm is pouting like a petulant child and Gil is doing everything in his power to convince Malcolm this vacation will be good for him. It reminds me of a parent trying to get their toddler to eat vegetables. 

5:06 - “We all just want you to be happy.” Did you hear that? It’s the sound of my heart racing with joy. Malcolm looks confused and hurt after Gil says it. Almost like he’s not sure how to be happy or who this “we” includes. Gil can see right through it - look at the concern on his face.  

5:15 - hahaha When Malcolm hears the word “DOA” his face lights up like a Christmas tree and Gil’s contorts with annoyance. You can almost hear an Gil think “This is why we can’t have nice things” in an exasperated voice....also it is JT’s voice on the radio right? 

5:22 - I love how Gil caves here. He starts the conversation stern but you can see that the minute that Malcolm says “I’m taking care of myself” he starts to waver. Even though you can tell that Gil knows Malcolm is lying through his teeth it’s the sincere desperation and hope in Malcolm’s eyes that make Gil cave.

6:04 - haha this is so great. I love watching Dani and JT tease Malcolm because a) it’s funny but b) it’s making Malcolm happy. Look at Malcolm’s smiles. He’s so happy to be included in this banter and he knows they’re teasing him out of love rather than hatred. Plus look at how amused Gil looks watching his kids interact. ALSO - side note - JT’s outfits are awesome in this episode.  

6:45 - Can we all just take a minute to appreciate how far JT and Malcolm’s relationship has come? JT couldn’t stand Malcolm in 1x1. Now they’re casually squatting next to each other talking about guns. JT even looks impressed when Malcolm mentions owning a gun like the one they’re looking at. You can see that this conversation will continue later. JT wants to know more about Malcolm’s weapon collection. My heart is full. 

6:47 - Edrisa teasing Bright is a real turning point for her character. It’s hilarious. Plus, watching how amused JT, Gil, and Dani are at Malcolm’s expense is awesome BUT 1x1 Edrisa would’ve never made jokes like this about Malcolm. She’s getting over her school girl crush and their relationship is developing past professional and into friendship. I’m a fan. 

7:14 - How much time has passed since the end of 1x12? Malcolm looks a lot better than he did last episode. He looks happier, more relaxed, way less manic....and you know, no cast on his hand. 

7:18 - Look at Gil when Malcolm says “The Tale of Monte Cristo”. That’s a look of recognition. Gil knows that Malcolm loved that book. I want to know why. We know that Martin was the one to read the book to Malcolm. In about ten minutes Gil will ask Malcolm to tell him about the plot because Gil doesn’t seem to be familiar with it. Did Gil watch a mute Malcolm read it countless times after Martin’s arrest? How does Gil know that Malcolm loves this book?

7:55 - Look at Malcolm’s face when Gil tells him that he’s still going on vacation. He looks so annoyed at the fact that Gil is going to take away his fun. I almost feel bad for him - but Gil is right, our boy needs a vacation.

8:00 - I don’t care if it’s crazy that Malcolm would hear the click of the landmine and react before our US armed forces veteran JT. I don’t care if it’s insane that the whole room didn’t blow up while shaky hands was holding the unstable landmine. I don’t care that there is no way JT got that vest on Malcolm without having Malcolm accidentally trigger the mind. I don’t even care that the fact that Malcolm answers his phone without blowing up is ridiculous. I love this scene. It’s amazing. 

8:24 - Look at how panicked and scared everyone is. Look at how our sweet, neurotic Edrisa takes charge of her medical staff - this is a side of her I’d like to see more of. Check out the fear present in Gil, JT, and Dani. They’re not scared for themselves - they’re scared for Malcolm. 

8:40 - Gil’s fury and concern here are perfect. He’s scared out of his mind that everyone in the room is going to blow up but he’s still present enough to be pissed that Malcolm is making jokes about his own life. Even though Malcolm often uses humour as a way to mask his pain and fear. It’s just confirming Gil’s belief that Malcolm’s mental health is in shambles, that Malcolm needs a vacation, and that Malcolm is seriously depressed right now. 

8:43 - Malcolm’s brave mask is slipping. He’s looking more and more scared as this scene progresses. Look at the utter disbelief and horror on Dani, JT, and Gil’s faces when Malcolm suggests that they all leave him to die. They know he’s in a bad place mentally but they’re still shocked that he’s being so caviler about the importance of his life. They’re horrified that Malcolm still doesn’t truly understand how important he is to their team. 

9:00 - Are JT, Gil, and Dani even processing what Malcolm is saying? They all look so shocked and concerned that Malcolm is still trying to talk about the case when he’s literally holding a live mine that I’m pretty sure they aren’t truly processing to Malcolm’s words. But seriously, look at the terror and concern in their eyes. It’s heartbreaking. 

9:20 - Look at the way that Gil has to lead Dani out of the room. She’s frozen in panic and fear. Gil sees it and thinks “Oh hell no. I’m not losing 2 kids today.”

9:26 - Malcolms eyes here. That is mania. That is terror. That is the beginning of a panic attack. My heart is breaking but I’m also living for the whump. 

9:34 - More proof that Malcolm is suicidal. He thinks he’s going to die but he picks up a call from his serial killing, manipulative father who has, for all intents and purposes, scarred Malcolm and emotionally abused him? Yo. That’s not right. ....but I will say that the fact that Under Pressure starts playing again does something good to my heart. 

9:49 - More proof that Martin is a monster. His son tells him that he’s holding a live mine and Martin is more excited than concerned. Hell - Mr. David looks more concerned about Malcolm than Martin does. It takes a minute for Martin to realize that Malcolm might die. I will give Martin some credit here - once the realization sets in he does look a little scared that his son might die. Once again, I’m having a hard time figuring out if Martin actually cares about his son. 

10:33 - He. Jumps. Out. A. Window. What a move. 

10:48 - I love the team’s reaction to Malcolm falling on the Le Mans. They all look concerned about Malcolm BUT they also each have different secondary reactions. JT looks impressed. Gil looks like he can’t figure out if he’s panicking more over his car or his kid. Dani just looks shocked. 

11:00 - That’s pure unfiltered relief on the team’s faces when they see that Malcolm is conscious, lucid, and talking. I’m in love. The only problem I have with this scene is that no one even mentions any injuries that Malcolm inevitably got from this for the remainder of the entire episode. 

11:22 - Why is Martin allowed in these therapy sessions? They just feed his narcissism and give him an audience. He doesn’t let anyone else talk. 

11:40 - I love that even the other serial killing prisoners look done with Martin. 

12:12 - 1. Poor Hector. 2. Hector is “always Malcolm” OMG. How often does Martin turn these therapy sessions into a fantasy production of his relationship with Malcolm?!?! THIS IS NOT HEALTHY WHY IS THE PRISON ALLOWING THIS!?? 

13:30 - Can we all just take a moment to revel in the fact that Martin Whitly is such a bad person that even Hector - a prisoner in a serial killer prison - is afraid of Martin. I don’t blame Hector either. Look at how downright nasty Martin gets when things aren’t going his way. 

13:48 - soooo everyone changed between the crime scene and coming to the precinct? JT used to be wearing a burgundy shirt, Gil was wearing a black (maybe navy?) turtle neck and Dani was wearing a green T-shirt (not the green blouse she’s wearing now). With Malcolm it makes sense. Did everyone else just change because they were dusty? At 18:26 you can see that they all have different jackets too...Ok. I’ll accept it....WAIT. I assume Dani, JT, and Gil have changes of clothes at the precinct? Does Malcolm too? Or is Malcolm wearing what he had packed for his vacation? 

13:53 - Poor Gil. He loved that car. Look how sad he is. :( Look at how guilty Malcolm looks about it in the background. He looks so sad and scared. He’s looking at Gil like he’s waiting to get screamed at. :( I mean Gil’s obviously also upset that he watched Malcolm throw himself out a window but I don’t think Malcolm sees that.

14:15 - hahaha Malcolm is getting so excited about this story and Gil just does not have the patience for one of Malcolm’s manic rants right now. Check out Dani - she is living for Gil’s annoyance at Malcolm’s rant. 

14:44 - “It’s my father.” This is concerning on a couple of fronts. It’s concerning because of how completely drained Malcolm looks when he says it. Malcolm just looks done which is scary because not 2 minutes ago he was bouncing around with energy. That dramatic of an energy change that quickly is not healthy. Our boy needs a vacation. Also, check out the fear and concern in Gil’s eyes right after Malcolm tells him that Martin is on the phone. Gil is scared 1) because of Malcolm’s behaviour but 2) because he doesn’t think Malcolm can handle Martin right now - it’s part of the reason that he and Jessica were trying to get Malcolm into a different time zone and country for his vacation. Finally, Dani looks concerned too. I’m honestly surprised she didn’t reach out and hug Malcolm because it looks like she really wants to. 

15:00 - Gil was scared before now he’s panicking. You can see that he’s worried about why Malcolm would answer Martin’s phone call when he thought he was going to die. The “I was in a weird place” comment is not reassuring. You can also see that Gil is scared of what the phone call’s effect was on Malcolm’s already fragile mental state. I have a feeling that Malcolm’s current behaviour is reminding Gil of when Malcolm started visiting Martin in prison at age 11 which is scaring Gil too. Gil’s probably just waiting for Malcolm to completely shut down and go mute again. 

15:06 - I love this move. JT and Dani are concerned and a little scared to talk on the phone with Martin Whitly but Gil stands firm. He’s not letting his emotionally fragile kid speak to Martin Whitly alone one more time today. He’s too afraid of what Malcolm might do to himself if he’s alone with a Martin phone call. I love the gentle but firm way that Gil reminds Malcolm that he’s not alone. That the team is here for him. I also love that Gil is honest with Malcolm - he doesn’t know if this is a good idea because he’s not sure he should be letting Malcolm talk to Martin at all right now. 

15:24 -  I want to point out that Martin is not chained to the wall here even though Mr. David is in the room. Is that allowed? You can actually see his restraints lying on the floor, unattached to him at 16:43. Martin is technically staying behind the line though. I just want more details about when Martin is and isn’t chained to the wall. 

15:30 - This conversation is really interesting to me. Malcolm looks uncomfortable throughout the whole conversation. It’s as though he doesn’t want the team to see how dysfunctional his Dad and their relationship truly is. I love how confident and calm Gil acts and how freaked out JT acts. I love that Dani gets over her fear really quickly and is casually looking up stuff on her phone in the middle of the conversation like nothing weird is happening. This woman is a treasure. I find it interesting that Martin is peacocking. He’s having the time of his life because he’s talking to a larger audience and Mr. David looks so done with him. I love that when Malcolm starts showing obvious signs of discomfort and frustration the whole team starts shooting him concerned looks as they watch the effect that Martin has on his son. It’s heartbreaking and perfect. I’m in love. 

17:01 - hahaha Malcolm hanging up on Martin is amazing. Malcolm is so scared that his dad is going to ruin his relationship with one of his only friends. Look at Malcolm’s face right after he hangs up - he looks detached and scared. Dani sees it too - check out the way she jokes with Malcolm afterward. She’s trying to reassure him that they’re good and it’s not his fault. Hell - JT and Gil given Malcolm some concerned looks at the end of this scene as well. I think the whole team is riding the “Malcolm is more depressed than usual and he needs a vacation” train.

17:38 - Look at how proud Jessica is here. It’s sweet. I wish she were this affectionate to Ainsley more often. Ainsley needs it. 

17:55 - This is heartbreaking. Jessica is so lonely. She misses her social life. She really lost everything except Malcolm and Ainsley when Martin was arrested. 

18:25 - This is such a messed up, convoluted set up. The dude is going to die by sword. Dang. This show is weird. Why do I love it so much?

18:55 - When Malcolm takes off his coat, the team looks very concerned and confused. I’m genuinely surprised that Gil didn’t have JT take Malcolm outside with force. They all had looks on their faces that said, “Our boy is passively suicidal. He’s going to try and kill himself again. He must be stopped.” And when Malcolm tells them that he’s going to “save this guy” they look so shocked and resigned like “of course that’s what you’re doing. You are a giant moron with no sense of self-preservation.”

19:37 - “Who are we going to call? The department of falling sword death?” hahaha Gil looks so done with Malcolm’s bullshit. 

19:42 - I want more information on this one. Malcolm throws axes...competitively. Why? When and how did he get into it? It’s the most obscure hobby I can think of. 

19:56 - Am I supposed to believe that JT and Dani carry wire cutters on all of their cases? Because I don’t. 

21:00 - The way that Malcolm looks at Gil here is concerning. It’s almost as though Malcolm is just realizing that Gil is still in the room. Malcolm has become so consumed by the case and his mania that he forgot that Gil was in the room. 

23:08 - This is so freaking cute. JT is going to watch the wedding with his wife. She’s going to wear a hat. JT looks so happy and excited about it. I don’t think he cares about the wedding but he cares about his wife and that just makes me happy. And Gil looks like “I work with weirdos. All of them.” My heart. <3

24:16 - Gil is so annoyed that Malcolm is lying to his mom. You can see that Gil is also grateful though - it was his responsibility to make sure Malcolm got on that plane and an angry Jessica is a scary Jessica. 

25:00 - William called the George Taylor? Dick move.

25:50 - For once can Gil please just call out Malcolm for projecting his personal issues onto suspects? Can we please just see Gil confront Malcolm about it? 

26:20 - Why does Malcolm know so much about bootlegging? 

27:00 - “They’re thinking Ecuadorian” hahahahaha OMG. Malcolm needs to stop using humour to hide his pain and fear but it is damn funny.

27:50 - Dang. Gil is a badass. Malcolm looks so grateful to Gil here. <3

28:30 - Gil has had it with Malcolm avoiding his vacation. This is full on dad mode right here. Gil is worried. Malcolm isn’t taking care of himself. Look at the way Gil guides Malcolm out of the precinct. Ugh. I’m in love with the father/son moment here. 

29:00 - I love how vulnerable and honest Malcolm consistently acts around Dani. Look at the pain in Malcolm’s face as he admits his problem with going on a vacation. Dani looks sad and concerned for Malcolm but she doesn’t judge him. She just comforts him with a stupid joke and lets him skip his flight. That’s true friendship. I stan this woman.

30:30 - This whole interaction between Martin, Dani, and Malcolm is awesome. Martin is ecstatic with the extra large audience. Dani looks a little scared at first but she really holds her own against Martin. She’s feisty, brave, and determined to do her job. Plus the concerned looks she’s giving Malcolm when he starts talking about the camping trip are A++. 

32:05 - I love how angry JT gets during interrogations. This boy really supports the law. 

33:15 - Ugh. Martin is so shady. He has a history of acting like a happy, sarcastic, manic dude who may or may not be lying to you. But then in the same conversation he will become either a) angry and threatening or b) serious and kind. It actually looks like he’s trying to convince Dani that Malcolm is the bad guy here - not him. That look of pure hatred that Malcolm shoots back at him is worth it though. Also - hell of a lot of foreshadowing for the next couple of episodes. Like dang.

33:45 - “You can take her shopping my boy. On me!!” ....I’m sorry does this mean that Martin has money somewhere? Jessica was rich. Martin was not. Something tells me that all of Martin’s money should’ve been spent on defence attorneys. Is he getting paid for his consultation work? Is that even a thing? OMG. I have so many questions about this. 

34:00 - That is a very angry and disappointed father. Malcolm is in so much trouble for not going on vacation. I’m living for it. I also love that even though Gil is so angry at Malcolm he still reluctantly helps him because Gil is a Good Man of the Law. 

34:30 - hahaha this is precious. Malcolm looks so shocked by Dani’s beauty here. Almost like he’s noticing that she’s a woman for the first time. AND Dani’s reaction is so cute. She’s flattered, a little awkward, and a lot happy that he thinks she’s pretty. Also - can we please take a minute to admire how respectful Malcolm is to Dani here. This boy has manners. Dani is not his girlfriend and she’s not an object to be catcalled at. So he calls her “amazing”. Not beautiful or sexy or hot. Amazing. A completely respectful compliment from a man who is not dating Dani. I love this. 

35:00 - Well Dani - he was going to tell you that you’re really pretty and he has feelings for you..and you probably guessed that...sorry. I ship Brightwell.

35:17 - hahaha Malcolm is like “Damn. I’ve been exposed.”

37:50 - I feel really bad for Jessica here. Can’t this woman go to one (1) social event in 20 years and have to be judged for Martin’s misdemeanors?!? This poor woman just wants to enjoy legally herself and no one is letting her. 

38:06 - JT sent Dani those pics....soooo he’s at home with Tally watching this right? Somehow I think JT’s night has become more interesting than he thought it would be. 

38:45 - OMG. This speech was hard to watch. Malcolm is awkward, manic, and totally projecting about his daddy issues. Despite all of this, all I can think about is JT and Tally watching this on a TV somewhere staring at Malcolm in horror/amusement. 

39:06 - Poor Jessica. She had one request. “Don’t embarrass me.” She looks utterly mortified. 

41:30 - I love this. I love how happy Malcolm just made Jessica. I love watching Jessica be proud of Malcolm. It’s so sweet. 

42:10 - This conversation between Malcolm and Ainsley is precious. Ainsley isn’t a bad person. She makes some bad decisions but she loves her family and I’m so proud of her for doing this for her Mom. My heart grew about 6x watching Malcolm be proud of his little sister. 

Sorry....this one got REALLY long. Thanks for hanging out if you have. Happy Prodigal Monday!! :D Hope you’re all going to watch 1x19 tonight! 

#prodigal son #jess-rewatches-prodigal #malcolm bright #whitly #ainsley whitly #jessica whitly #martin whitly #gil arroyo #jt tarmel #edrisa tanaka #dani powell #this show is almost perfect #i love this show #whump #malcolm needs a hug #so good #rewatch #spoilers #ps #wait and hope #1x13 #e:13 #s1

[ren-c-leyn]

The Hero’s Guardian

 Hello, hello, another fusion story for you guys. I don’t think I’m actually making a whole lot of progress in cleaning out my drafts, as I add just as many new and amazing prompts as I use (sometimes more) but I’m having fun trying.

 This one is made up of this prompt by @p-r-o-m-p-t-s, this prompt by @write-it-motherfuckers, this prompt by @soprompt, these 1,2 by @humdrummoloch, these 1,2,3,4,5,6 by @thependragonwritersguild, this prompt by @scandy-inspo, these 1,2,3,4 by @givethispromptatry, and finally, this prompt by @promptslair.

 A similar premise to my other short story, Flowers for the Hero Maker, but I love the trapped, immortal guardian trope every since I played final fantasy 2, at least I think it was number two with the guy and the word labyrinth. *shrugs* 

 There is quite a bit more swearing than what is normally found in my short stories. Some mention of injuries, and one fight scene. Nothing gory, though.

~

 A boy with orange eyes crossed my path, and the world began to change. Not just mine, but the entire thing. It was so long ago, such a different time. I don’t even recall much of it, only the reassured smile on his face and the hard lesson that came after: Choices evaporate in the presence of fate. 

 It was a harsh one that came from my elder sisters. I remember they were all doing their own tasks, mixing medicines and making things. It was... so beautiful to watch. It seemed almost like magic. How silly, how naive, but it brought me happiness. I remember, the day after I told them about the boy with orange eyes, I just opened my mouth and said what had been on my mind for years.

 “I want to be like you when I grow up!”

 “… No, sweetheart.” My sisters glanced at each other before turning back to me. “What we do is not important. You will be important.”

 “You’re important to me.”

 “And thank the gods everyday for you. You will be better than us.”

 I didn’t understand, couldn’t understand. What was more important than them? Than the smiling faces they made? Than the people they mended? The priestess told me. The priestess told me many things, including my fate... a fate she used magic to bind me to.

 Before a statue of the orange-eyed boy, she made me swear an oath I couldn’t comprehend. She made a child swear away their life, and I did it because my sisters smiled and nodded. I swore to guard the Forest of Fate... for all of eternity. Oaths mean something around here, even for those who don’t understand what they mean.

  I was blinded by the white light. Everyone was blinded by the white light. The white light that gave and stole everything from me.... The light that bound me to this forest, for the rest of time.

 Several heroes later, and it was just another day, another chosen one. Only, this one was not particularly promising....

 I looked up and down his scrawny frame, the old sword in it’s tattered scabbard, the soft hands, and smirk, and all I felt was simmering annoyance.

 Fate was doing this on purpose, the ass.

 “So, guardian, what’s my trial? The grand fight before I get my legendary weapon to slay the wizard with as my destiny demands?”

 “Your destiny?” I threw my head back and laughed. “You don’t seem to know how Fate works. Should you fail, he’ll replace you. He always does.”

 The young man frowned, his dark brown brows furrowing as he straightened himself.

 “I won’t fail.”

 My laughter ceased. He said the words with such conviction I almost wanted to believe him. Almost. But I knew better.

 “We shall see,” I said, pulling my eldest sister’s jewelry box from my pouch, “for your first trial lies within this.”

 He tilted his head, like a confused pup.

 “What monster fits in such a tiny box?”

 I undid the latch, allowing the slime to bounce out of the box. The young man’s confused expression turned to offence.

 “A slime? They’re weak enough children can beat them!”

 “We shall see.”

 I snapped my fingers and the deceptively quick blob of green ooze flew at him, hitting him squarely in the abdomen. No defensive skills, noted. He slashed at it with all of the grace of a drunken horse. No sword training, noted. He then attempted to chase it down as it rolled around the circle. Average speed, noted. By the time he succeeded in defeating my trusted friend, he was winded and displayed nothing remarkable aside from his tenacity. A bonus, I suppose.

 “You are not worthy.”

 “I am chosen! Of course I’m worthy!”

 “It simply means you have more potential to be worthy than the average citizen.” Fate only fucking knows why. “But as of this moment, you are incapable of wielding the weapons and magics I guard. You are far more likely to hurt yourself or innocents.”

 “How can you be so sure?” he pressed.

 “Do keep in mind that I was here before you, and will be here long after you’re gone. I have seen many come and many go. I know what happens when the unproven attempt to handle what I guard, and like it or not, you’re one of them. Become a man of consequence, and we’ll have this conversation again.”

 He huffed.

 “And how do I do that?”

 I gestured to the forest.

 “There’s plenty of monsters to train with. All as, if not more, ancient as myself and just as dedicated to fucking up chosen ones as I am to guarding the place.”

 He paused at that.

 “But... if it’s full of monsters, what are you guarding this place from?”

 “People, mostly, sometimes evil deitys, but that’s really none of your concern. Now either go train, or relinquish your title. I may have eternity, but I assume the normal people you’re tasked with saving do not.”

 He frowned as he scrubbed the slime off his face with a handkerchief. 

 “Where do you suggest I start?”

 “The clearing to the west. Stay away from the lake and the mountainous areas. Oh, and if you see a cave, avoid that too.”

 “Fine. I’ll be back.”

 And then he stormed off.

 About three days later, while I was going through my daily training, the bushes began to rattle. I prepared myself for battle, watching them closely. Only, instead of raiders or servants of the god of destruction, the skinny guy from earlier crawled out and collapsed onto the stones, breathing hard.

 There was a long moment of silence before I sighed and continued going through my stances and strikes.

 “Why are there so many scratches on your face?”

 “There was a weird cat with like... five tails, and they had spikes on them....”

 “So you decided to challenge it. Smart.”

 He sat up, glaring at me.

 “You don’t have to be so gods’ damned sarcastic about it! I didn’t know what the fuck it was! And you haven’t been a whole lot of help....”

 I couldn’t help but laugh.

 “You can thank Fate for that. He decided to deal the creatures here strange cards so adventurers wouldn’t, and I quote, ;get bored’. He also forbid me from teaching chosen ones about the monsters here.”

 He stared at me like a kicked puppy.

 “But... but why would...? That doesn’t make sense.”

 “Welcome to my world. Though, I suspect it may have more to do with training them to discern weaknesses and tactics of enemies for themselves, in case something unpredictable happens.”

 He mulled it over for a second before nodding.

 “That does make a lot more sense than the boredom thing.... But what’s the point of choosing people if they’re allowed to just die here in the middle of some forest?”

 I paused at that, movements and all. I couldn’t help but think back to that day, the day I was led to this place and made my oath.

 “I’m not sure there is much of a point.”

 He tilted his head at that, but I did not elaborate as I swung my blade with more force than what was needed.

 I’m not sure when he left, hours or minutes ago, but it mattered little. I spent the night, and the next few days alone again. He came back eventually, covered in scabs, bruises, dirt, various bloods, and leaves.

 “... There is a stream.”

 “I know, This is just what I collected between here and there....”

 I shook my head, laughing lightly.

 “The forest feels threatened. That is a good sign.”

 “It is?!” he asked, brown eyes lighting up in hope.

 “It is,” I said with a nod, “but you’re still not ready.”

 He sighed, shoulders drooping. 

 “Well... at least I’m making progress?”

 “You are,” I agreed, continuing my training.

 “So... I’ve been wondering something, since well, even before we met. How did you become the guardian of this place?”

 I didn’t answer, choosing to focus on my breathing and my movements.

 “I mean, everyone says you were a human once, and not a divine creature.... So, what happened?”

 I sighed, lowering the blade as I looked over at him.

 “Once upon a time, I was a plucky, young kid going about my day, then shit happened and now we’re here.” 

 “Touching story,” he replied with a flat sarcasm that probably matched what I gave him at news of his fight with the cat-creature.

 I shrugged before resuming my practice.

 “Not all tales are. Besides, mine isn’t the important one here.”

 He blinked at that.

 “And what makes you say that?”

 “Because I’m not the hero.”

 There was a long silence as he just sat there, staring at me with wide eyes and a disbelieving stare.

 “But... but you’ve fought monsters, and evil deities....”

 “Their minions, mostly, but yes.”

 “You’ve christened all of the mightiest heroes.”

 “After they passed their tests, yes.”

 “You’ve served Fate for...” he paused, as if he was searching his memory for the number, “a... a really long time.”

 “Doesn’t make me the hero, just makes me a guardian.”

 He gave me that kicked puppy stare.

 “How can you not be?”

 “No one praises a guard dog for doing it’s job, and that’s basically what I am. I’m just doing what the oath compels me to. Nothing more, nothing less. I save no one, I really don’t help anyone, either. I’m just here, running at the end of my leash, growling and snarling at all whom aren’t my master.”

 “Oh... is that why you were an ass when we met?”

 I glared at him.

 “No, that was because someone who couldn’t even beat Squishy thought he could just show up and have a legendary weapon of unfathomable power.”

 He winced and then tilted his head.

 “Wait... Squishy?”

 “The slime, it’s name is Squishy. I gave it to it when it first decided to make it’s home in the box.”

 The color drained from his face.

 “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to kill your pet!”

 I nearly fell over laughing, which stopped the sputtered stream of apologies and something about a funeral.

 “No, no, no, you didn’t kill Squishy. Fate granted Squishy special... abilities, as a reward for my service. He does something... kinda nice once every hundred years or so for me.”

 He stared at me.

 “So... it wasn’t a normal slime?”

 “It is in all things except it’s immortality.”

 “Oh... Damn, I was hoping it was a super slime.”

 I laughed again.

 And so the routine continued. He’d survive in the wilds for a few days before coming to visit for a few hours, sometimes mimicking my movements when conversations and laughter were over. Then, he’d vanish again. That is, until I got a terrible feeling.

 A flock of birds scattered far to the south, the way towards the lake, and a pit formed in my stomach. That dumbass wouldn’t... would he? I thought about it for a minute before recalling his previous encounters and grimacing. He would. He most certainly would.

 For the first time in many years, I left the stoned area, rushing down a distantly familiar trail towards the lake. Screeches and deep roars pushed me to move faster and faster, until I stumbled into a clearing, just in time to see him fall. Behind him was a water dragon. Thankfully, a young one. It looked hurt, but not nearly as much as he did, and it looked much angrier than him as well.

 Before I could even put any thought into it, my body was in between the two, and the creature was bearing down on me.

 “No! Guardian!”

 The shouted barely registered in my mind as I ducked out of the way of raking claws and rolled to the underbelly. My blade sought out the grooves between the stomach plates and dug in as far as it could, biting at flesh and tearing at muscle. The dragon screeched loud enough to nearly deafen me. All I could hear was a ringing in my ears. It could have been disorienting had I not fought under such conditions a hundred or more times before.

 I cut again, my own fierce shouts a distant echo in my ears. Again and again I sliced, moving with the beast to keep myself from being trampled or squished. The deadly dance did not end until the creature was on the ground, breathing it’s last.

 With a dull click, I slid the sword into it’s sheath and moved towards him. He stared back at me through big, brown eyes. Without warning, I pulled him back up to his feet.

 “I told you.” I sighed as she shifted his arm around my shoulders to support him. “I told you.”

“Hey, can you not yell at me when I’m actively in pain?” He whimpered when the movement irritated his probably cracked ribs.

“No! You were a stupid shit and I’m going to tell that directly to your fucking face! Why do you do these things?!”

 “To impress you.”

 “You know what would impress me at this point?! You staying out of danger for twenty-four hours! No barbed-tail cats, no slimes, no DRAGONS, just a day without bruises.”

 He smirked at me.

 “Is that what it’d take to become a man of consequence?”

 I smacked him upside the head.

 “No, but it’ll help keep you alive long enough to become one. Seriously, recklessness won’t help anyone. Think of the people. They’re waiting on you to save them. You can’t do that if you’re dead.”

 “But... I can’t just hide and hope it goes away, either.”

 “No, you can’t, but you can learn to pick battles you can win.”

 He went silent for a while.

 “Do... do you think the fight with the wizard is a battle I can win?”

 I thought about it for the rest of the way back to the stones. He sighed just before we got there.

 “No, huh? I guess you’re right....”

 “You can.”

 His head snapped around to look at me.

 “And once you’re healed up, I’ll show you how.”

 “But I... I thought you weren’t allowed too....”

 “Teach about the animals of this forest, he didn’t say shit about teaching people how to kick evil wizards’ wrinkly asses.”

 I grinned at him, and he smiled back before laughing.

 Using my sisters’ medicines, I was able to get him back to training shape fairly quickly. Thankfully, his ribs weren’t broken, or I may have gotten a different hero. We spent the next few weeks training, with me imparting as much of my years of experience as I could in so little time. And before I knew it, the time had come for his final test.

 “Alright, and now you’re ready to try again.”

 He grinned at me.

 “I’m ready for it. What’s my final test? Squishy? A dragon?”

 “Me.”

 His face fell at that.

 “You? But... I don’t want to fight you.”

 I shrugged.

 “That’s the rule.”

 “But... you’re my friend. I won’t hurt you.”

 I snorted.

 “You can’t hurt me, I’m immortal.”

 He frowned.

 “But that doesn’t mean you can’t feel pain.”

 “Are you going to give up after I actually went to the trouble of saving and training you for the sake of accomplishing your goal?”

 “Well... no, but....”

 “Then fight. You don’t have to hurt me, just defeat me.”

 He glanced around before looking back at me. Eventually, he drew the old sword.

 “Okay... but only because I don’t want to waste your effort.”

 I grinned at him as I drew my own blade.

 “Good.”

 There was a pause, a moment of silence, and then we both burst into action. It was insane how fast he had improved. No other chosen one had learned so fast. Then again, I had never taken any effort to help any of them, nor had they shown an interest in mimicking my own training. Or maybe, maybe this was what Fate saw in him. 

 The clashing of steel rung out through the trees as our feet flew across the ancient stonework. Light flashed off the edges of our swords. Time and time again, the tips of sharpened blades teased at biting into flesh, but always stopped a little short. That is, until there was a horrible snapping sounds, and then the clattering of steel against stone.

 We both stared at the broken sword, laying on the stones, and then we looked at each other.

 “I... I guess I failed?” he said, voice on the verge of cracking.

 I grinned at him.

 “You’re kidding, right? Do you know how much it takes to break a sword? And what it takes not to be crushed beneath my heel like an ant?”

 There was a moment of silence before his eyes lit up with realization.

 “You mean...?”

 “Congratulations, hero.”

 He let out a shout before throwing his arms around me in the biggest hug I had ever gotten. I laughed.

 “Little early to be so excited, yeah? You haven’t even replaced your old sword yet.”

 “Who cares about the weapon! You called me a hero! The guardian thinks I’m a hero!”

 He laughed before finally releasing me, a huge smile on his face.

 I shook my head before leading him back to the lake.

 “Uh... guardian?”

 “Don’t worry, they won’t come.”

 “But...”

 “Just take this.”

 I held out a sword hilt to him.

 He titled his head, but accepted it.

 “So... what do I do with this?”

 “You place the handle in the water. When you withdraw it, picture the weapon you want to hold in your hand. The lake will forge it for you.”

 He paused before doing so. The familiar magic caused the water to glow and bubble, and before long, he was pulling out the most beautiful blade I had ever seen in my life.

 “Good luck breaking that one,’ I teased.

 He snorted.

 “Tell that to the wizard.”

 He paused before shuffling a bit. “Um... thank you, for everything....”

 “You can thank me by kicking that wizard’s ass using the techniques I showed you.”

 He grinned at me.

 “Will do.” There was another pause before he gave me a nod and started walking back up the path. He paused by the trees and looked back at me. “I’ll visit again. Wouldn’t want the guardian to get bored.”

 I laughed.

 “It’s the heroes who aren’t supposed to get bored here.”

 He smiled at me and then disappeared.

 For several years, it was just me and the forest, as it usually was. Still, I couldn’t help but feel a bit hollow. The same as it ever was, but I found myself wanting more again. Laughter and joy. It had been so long since I had them, I didn’t know I missed them until he was gone. My first friend in gods only know how many years, and he was gone. Stupid Fate, fucking destinies. 

 I was grumbling to myself, violently going through my daily routine when a voice called out to me.

 “Uh-oh, don’t tell me that another chosen one is giving you trouble.”

 I spun around so fast I nearly feel over.

 “You’re back! ... And you have flowers?”

 “For you! It’s the fifth year anniversary of when I met you and was attacked by Squishy, so, I thought I’d bring you a present.”

 He held the bouquet out to me, that grin on his face.

 “No ones ever brought me flowers before….”

 “Do you not like them?”

 “….I love them, thank you.” I accepted the flowers from him. “But, I don’t have a present for you....”

 “That’s fine,” he said with an easy smile and a shrug. “Actually, I was hoping to see the super slime again.”

 I grinned mischeviously.

 “Sure.”

 I undid the latch on the box and watched Squishy fly out and onto his face, knocking him to the ground. He swore and floundered around on the stones, shouting about the worst hug ever. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing if I wanted to. Even after he got my dear friend off, I was still giggling.

 He grinned up at me, hair a mess and armor well-slimed.

 “I missed hearing your laugh.”

 “Yeah, well, I missed having something to laugh about.’

#short story #fiction #fantasy #adventure #original story #my writing #a story by Ren

[x-ximenas]

Love Means Trouble: Chapter 5

Prompt: Hurricane by Halsey, which you can find in this playlist.

Pairing: OC/Nikki Sixx

Warnings: Alcohol and drug consumption, mentions of kissing and sex (not graphic tbh, not even a bit)  and my terrible grammar and punctuation remember English’s not my first language.

Word Count: 2,894 words

A/N: It's been a while, huh? I'm so so sorry for leaving this story unattended, but med school continues to be a pain in my ass and as I come closer to the end of this semester I have enough time to sit down and write. This chapter starts right where the last left it off, so I'd recommend you to go back and read chapter 4 <3 Also, if you liked this bit, I’d love to hear some comments! If you’d like to be added to a taglist for upcoming parts comment, dm me, ask me… just talk to me!

A/N 2: If you’d like to listen to the songs I mention in the story, here’s the playlist where you can find them.

// Prologue // Previous Chapter //———————————————————————————————————–Fuck.

Was Nikki's last thought as he lead his blonde-haired company back to the couch. Circe was predictable in the worse way possible, he knew he had to figure out how to get around yet another round of her teasing after tonight's turn of events. Nikki was never good at keeping promises, but he excelled at making them sound realistic.

They never agreed they would interrupt their dynamic, but after the words they shared in Circe's apartment he knew he had definitely slipped and she was going to make him pay for it. He saw that characteristic glint of mischief shine brightly in her otherwise dark eyes, he just didn't know that was Circe playing with his doped brain.

As Nikki silently pondered on how to tackle the situation at hand -a scenario yet to be presented- Circe was coughing out smoke with a laugh, Nikki's slightly shocked and panicked expression engraved in her brain. It took her a couple of minutes for her giggles to settle, but once it did she heard Vince snort out a laugh by the window.

"What?" She asked the blond at her right, a smile sneaking up on her lips.

"You're asking me? You're the one laughing by yourself" He said with a knowing smile, Circe shrugged.

Then, Vince handed her her "Here, you left it inside."

"Oh, and to what do I owe this display of chivalry?" Circe asked the blond to her right, digging her elbow on his ribs playfully.

"Can't I just bring my gorgeous female friend her drink without her implying there's a bigger plan?" He teased back, swaying his hands as if to make him look posh.

"No, no, you can, but it's just so... what's the word... so not Vince-like."

"Thanks, tho." She said in a lower voice, her head now resting on his shoulder, Vince mumbled something back as he wrapped an arm around her frame.

Silence settled between the pair. As the wind blew, Circe's head ran through similar moments she had shared with Vince before, a small smile tugging on the corners of her lips. The peaceful environment around them was interrupted by the blond vocalist who cleared his throat.

"Well, just so you know, I came out here to see if you were kicking Nikki's ass over the blonde chick situation." Another nasal laugh left Vince, Circe turned to him and started to hit his shoulder repeatedly, causing him to break out laughing.

"You fucker." Circe said, dragging out the r as she chased Vince back inside the apartment, people parting to make room for the pair.

Circe had tuned out the voices around her, but she swore she heard Tommy encouraging her to hit Vince over the head and Mick laughing a little. Her focus left her as she bumped into someone.

She mumbled a half-assed apology, but this change in her path had made her lose sight of the blond-haired singer. With a defeated look on her face, she decided to take a seat on the band's table only to find her prey laughing at her.

"Haha, very funny jackass," Circe said a frown sketched on her face.

"Oh, c'mon you're gonna get wrinkles, dude." Vince teased, earning a smack on his shoulder by both Mick and Circe.

"Dude, you should have seen Nikki's face when you bumped into him." Tommy chimed in with an amused expression. Circe's eyes widened slightly, but a laugh still left her slightly parted lips.

Before she could gather her thoughts to answer Tommy, Vince handed her a cymbal with some coke lines cut up for her enjoyment. She leaned down to snort one of the two lines Vince had cut for her; then she straightened her back, scratching the tip of her nose as she tried to come up with something to say, dusting some of the excess coke in the process. Like Circe came with no logical response to Tommy's comment, she just shrugged and laughed again. Then she leaned back down to snort the second line, a good girl naturally tumbling out of Vince's lips accompanied by a pat on the back.

After that point the night seemed to slip through Circe's fingers, time passing by her as she engaged in conversation, laughing fits leaving her breathless and kisses shared with complete strangers in her smoke breaks were the only things that kept her entertained. As the apartment was quickly emptying, Circe was left sitting by herself in the dining table, a nearly empty bottle of vodka, music and the distinctive sounds of sex being her only company. She rolled her eyes as she drank what little was left of the clear liquid, dropping the bottle on the floor carelessly she headed towards the window, ready to go home unaccompanied when a hand grabbed her by her forearm.

"Hi" said the blonde girl Nikki had been chasing all night long.

"Hey" answered Circe with a small smile.

"You're leaving?" the blonde inquired.

"Yeah"

"Oh, okay." was her reply, a tinge of disappointment laced the two words. Circe smirked just a smidge, her hand came up to the blonde's chin, lifting it as to make her eyes meet.

"C'mon, doll." Circe offered her hand as she walked out the window, the blonde took Circe's hand in her own.

"Wait here, we'll leave soon." Circe said before peaking her head inside the apartment once more, her eyes meeting with Nikki's surprised expression.

"Sixx, if you see Tommy or Vince tell them I finished the vodka." And with that said, she parted with the blonde.

Both girls had been walking for a couple of minutes, their high heels were worn as bracelets by now. The silence was comfortable, no one really trying to break the calm atmosphere they had settled in, embracing the drastic change.

"You live nearby?" Circe asked.

"Yeah, I just didn't want to walk home alone."

"It's cool, sorry if I made you uncomfortable with the doll thing."

"Meh, I didn't mind it."

As the pair headed to the blonde's place, Circe noted the change of behaviour but stayed quiet nonetheless.

"So Nikki? or Vince?" the blonde girl teased with a giggle, earning a breathy laugh from Circe.

"Neither."

"Wait, Vince?" Circe continued after a moment of silence, her voice clearly amused.

"Yeah! Quite a scene you made back there."

"That's just us being, well, us. Nothing beyond that." Circe vaguely informed her.

"If you say so." The girl said in a singsong voice.

"Anyways, this is me! Thanks for walking with me..."

"Circe"

The blonde girl repeated the name to herself in a lower voice. "Josie." Circe rose an eyebrow.

"My name's Josie" she clarified with a smile. "Well, thanks, Circe ."

"Anytime, Josie. " Circe answered, making a point by repeating the girl's name.

As Josie headed to her door, Circe cleared her voice, making her turn to face the brunette with an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah?"

"I kinda get Vince, but why did you ask about Nikki?" Josie laughed to herself at the brunette's curiosity.

"Instinct... question mark" Josie answered, unsure of herself. Circe stared at her in disbelief but decided not to push the topic, instead, she snorted out a laugh.

"I better go home, bye."

"Bye."

And with that, Circe found herself alone one more time, not that she minded. The walk back to her apartment was short, not more than five minutes and she probably would have taken less if she hadn't bumped into an adorable stray cat or if she had actually walked instead of danced and sung all the way back home.

"No place for hidin' baby, no place to run " Circe dramatically sung in her best Paul impersonation, as she tried to open her door.

"You pull the trigger of my love gun."

As those last few notes left Circe, her door finally budged open. Clothes and items were carelessly thrown around the living room, and Circe nearly fell flat on her face after tripping with the clothes she had brought home from work. Circe tried her best to navigate to her room in the dark, in the process bumping into furniture and even a wall, curse after curse falling off her lips. Once she found herself in her room, she let herself fall on the bed, her hand reaching under it to pull out a half-drunk bottle of Jack.

"You can't forget me baby, don't try to lie. You'll never leave me, mama, so don't try. I'll be a gambler, baby lay down the bet. We get together, mama you'll sweat" She restarted her singing as she took a drink from the bottle, then she laughed to herself, clearly amused at her attempt to sound like Paul.

She took another swing of the bottle, as she felt her body swaying, the same feeling you would get when floating in water. Her eyes were teary from the laughter, and her head started to pounce at the thought of work, but she didn't stop drinking. Despite the upcoming headache, she tried to keep herself focused on what she'd like to do with the clothes instead of letting her mind wander off to Josie's question. But before her mind could cave in, she fell asleep.

———————————————————————————————————–

"Rise and shine, sunshine" a male voice, sung from her left. Circe's hold on the bottle tightened as she turned her body to the side, ignoring the man -whom she assumed was Tommy.

"Fuck off" Circe answered, her voice raspy and low, afraid that it would make her headache worse.

"Tommy sent you breakfast c'mon, Ce" At the mention of Tommy, Circe shoot up straight, something her body resented instantly.

"Here, take this" Vince handed her a glass of water, the blond far too relaxed, considering he had broken into her apartment while she slept.

She mumbled a quiet thank you to Vince and took a gulp from the glass, then asked: "What the fuck are you doing here, Neil?"

"Athena came over, she left some food for you, so Tommy gave me your key me and told me to bring it over."

Circe stood up from the bed, holding the cold glass of water to the side of her head while taking a drink from the bottle of Jack. She placed both drinks on the floor as she started to remove her clothes, Vince in her room currently being the last of her concerns. She pulled from her closet her jean overalls and put it over last night's bandeau and panties.

"C'mon, I'm starving."

"Also, that's 10 bucks for the show" She added with a small laugh, then she took a drink from the glass of water before pressing it to the side of her head.

"Ass" the mumbled curse made Circe laugh harder.

Vince followed Circe out of her room, stealing the bottle of Jack in the process, then he flopped down on the couch, throwing his legs on the small coffee table. Circe, on the other hand, headed to her kitchen and decided to brew some coffee, in hopes that the caffeine would ease her headache.

"Bring the syrup, Athena sent you chocolate chip pancakes" Vince yelled from the living room as he made himself comfortable in the couch, taking gulps from the whiskey every now and then.

Circe nodded but huffed at the realisation that she had virtually nothing in her kitchen, meaning she had to eat dry pancakes, again.

"What? No syrup?" Vince asked without looking up, too busy picking some chocolate chips, earning a smack over the head from Circe.

"No, I haven't gone grocery shopping" Circe stole the bottle of Jack back from Vince, pouring some in her coffee. Then she grabbed the plastic fork that came with the pancakes and started eating, offering Vince a piece of pancake every once in a while.

"You know?" Vince wondered out loud. Circe hummed, waiting for him to continue.

"I thought I might find the blonde chick leaving or something."

"Nah, she just wanted someone to walk her home" Circe shrugged, a hand covering her mouth to prevent her pancakes from spilling out of it.

"Ah, man, I thought you had stolen Nikki's toy-for-a-night" Vince said, leaning back into the couch, his eyes covered by his hands.

Vince stayed quiet for a while, before saying: "So... no sex last night?"

"Nah"

"Wanna change that?" Vince teased.

"What? You offering?" Circe asked back with a playful smile. Vince shrugged.

"It's been a while, huh" Circe pondered.

"You had no tattoos back then, Ce."

"So like, a long, long while" Circe laughed a bit.

"Yeah" Vince laughed as well.

"Was it before or after I left my parent's house?" Circe asked.

"Really? Both, it was around the time I left my parent's house, and then you left your parent's house, so we kinda coexisted in Tommy's place" Vince answered, taking Circe's fork and a bite out of the pancake.

"Right" Circe mumbled, deep in thought before snorting out a laugh.

"You finished?" Circe asked, pointing at the pancake Vince was currently eating.

"Yeah" Circe offered her hand to take the container, but Vince took it upon himself to dump it in the trash.

"Hey, do you think Athena is still in your place?"

"Maybe, wanna go?"

"Yeah, why not" Circe answered, shrugging her shoulders.

"Just let me clean my face, I probably look half dead."

Circe made a quick job out of cleaning her face, mainly worried about removing the eyeliner that had smudged under her eyes and the lipstick that had somehow ended up all over her cheek. As she headed back to meet with Vince in her living room, she redid her bun.

"Ready?" Circe just nodded. As they made their way out, she took her keys and two packs of cigarettes, perfectly aware that she had finished Tommy's last night.

Closing and locking the door behind her, they headed to Vince's place. Halfway through Circe decided to jump on Vince's back, claiming she was too tired to walk and she felt sick, the blond man just rolled his eyes all too accustomed to her antics.

"Honey, I'm home" Circe jokingly sang at the sight of Tommy's little sister, Athena. Vince dropped Circe back on her feet, letting the two girls hug.

"Thanks for breakfast, I had nothing left to eat" Circe said. She pinched Athena's cheek before jumping on the kitchen counter.

"Thought so, I don't get how you can live off drugs and booze" Athena replied, directing her sentence to all four people. Tommy shrugged.

"A mystery" Circe and Tommy said simultaneously, then they high-fived earning a barely audible groan from an otherwise silent Nikki.

Tommy frowned at Nikki's reaction but decided to not address his sudden change in attitude. Tommy's gaze shifted between both his best friends, confused as to what had caused the shift in dynamics. Circe rolled her eyes at the sight of Nikki throwing a silent temper tantrum, not once making eye contact or directing a word to her since the day before. Circe decided to pay him no mind, directing her focus on Athena instead, unaware the younger Lee was soon to leave.

Athena pinched Circe's cheek, making her chuckle. "What?"

"You should go visit mom and dad, they've been asking about you."

"I'll think about it, 'k? Maybe I'll give them a call."

"You better, Ce" Athena said, patting her on the knee.

"I'd say this was a pleasure, but-"

"Fuck off" Tommy interrupted his sister with a laugh, "C'mon, I'll drive you home."

Once both Lee siblings left through the window, Nikki stood up from his place, taking long strides towards Circe only stopping once he was right in front of her.

"What?" Circe asked, uncrossing her legs as if to make room for Nikki between them. Still, she had a hard time pushing her smile down.

"Nice stunt you pulled last night." Nikki's words were laced with a tinge of bitterness.

"Which one?"

"Both."

"Huh, I see, you're all grumpy cause you didn't get laid." Circe teased, her smile nothing but sweet despite the jabbing demeanour of her words.

"Fuck o-" Nikki muttered, and Circe chuckled. Then, she pulled Nikki back between her legs by grabbing him from his pants belt loops.

"C'mon, Sixx. Chill, we said we'd play fair, didn't we?"

"You call that playing fair?" Nikki questioned, grabbing Circe by the waist pulling her closer to him.

"I wasn't the one with a pretty blonde on my lap last night, wasn't I? I was only trying to rise up to the occasion." Circe playfully pushed Nikki's chin up with her index before coaxing him to reduce the distance between them.

"I call that playing fair." Circe's voice was breathy, Nikki could practically taste the pancakes she had eaten earlier that day along with the Jack and coffee she had used to gulp them down.

Nikki leaned in to close the small gap that was left between them, but Circe pushed him off her.

"As much as I would like to see where this leads, I have work to do, and you definitely don't figure in it."

Circe jumped off the counter as she said those words, her smirk only getting wider as she spoke. Nikki was shocked and momentarily lost the ability to both move and speak, so as the brunette walked through the window and out his apartment, he stood still.

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