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#You need badass warrior princesses
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Sword gays showdown, round 3, bracket three
Propaganda:
For Ballister:
he could tell when his sword was switched out for a fake, graduated top of his class so we know he's a good fighter, also the scene where he's fighting is hot because he's so confident with a sword in his hand, also he's gay
A canonically gay, disabled, South Asian man takes down the government with his genderqueer shapeshifter sidekick/adopted daughter! He has a swordfight with his ex-boyfriend! in which he defeats about 20 knights singlehandedly! 
top of his knight class this man is a master swordsman
(Movie) He has used a sword since he broke into the Institutes training ground and ended up becoming a knight
He has very divorced vibes with Ambrosius and he uses a sword.
He's a legit knight! So, it's in the fine print.
According to the Nimona movie, Ballister here has been practicing the art of sword fighting since childhood to earn the trust of the city and he was SO CLOSE to becoming a knight. He's also definitely not dating another one of his knight mates (?). Nope. Not at all. This movie is super straight /s I think he also beats an entire army of knights with nothing but his sword and a chaotic good shapshifter so that's pretty cool. He's also south Asian, has a prosthetic arm he made himself and is honestly such a goofy guy (in a good way ofc) if that's anything.
For Amaya:
Badass super strong disabled lesbian general who can and will take you out. Doesn't need a sword to punch you into next week, but will use one anyway.
She’s married to another sword gay and she’s also disabled so I love her very much 
First deaf character I saw in any cartoon, she's very badass and protects her kingdom's border, later falls in love with an elf warrior princess she once fought. In the new season, they're planning their wedding while trying to navigate political tensions between the elf society and humans. Some of the elves aren't super into the idea of a human marrying one of them, which isn't for homophobic reasons but still (I believe) meant to mirror real world conservatives (really liked a scene with Janai's brother telling Amaya she's fine as a girlfriend for Janai but actually *marrying* her is too controversial and political. Whoever wrote this did a really good job).
She’s currently engaged to another lady, she uses a sword, is a general badass.
General Amaya is a standard sword lesbian with a cool shield and some funny "lines" example: "This bread is...." *bashes bread on table with no damage to the bread* "Weapons grade"
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h-harleybaby · 1 year
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princess reader x main 4 (seprate) including butters
I swear- my formatting is always changing in some way because I always find something wrong with it
It's a smidge short because I started running out of ideas
I swear it feels like I lost the ability to write
General hcs w/ Princess!reader x main 4 + Butters
Eric Cartman, the Grand Wizard 
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• You guys totally have tea parties when no one’s around, don’t ever tell anyone tho or Cartman’s gonna say you’re delusional and probably not talk to you for a couple hours
• He insists that you’ve put some kind of love spell on him because now he wants to hang out with you all the time and he’s always thinking about you
• You didn’t, he just has the biggest fattest crush on you
• To be fair, you have a huge crush on him too so it's not as bad as he thinks it is
• He definitely tries to put a bunch of spells on you under the guise that it's for research but he's trying to put a love spell on you because he doesn't believe you have a crush on him
Kyle Broflovski, the Elf King
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• Elf King Kyle doesn’t wanna admit he has a crush on a human princess for like, a really long time
• Stan has to talk sense into him
• Like no honey- you getting butterflies, thinking about her all the time, and getting all red when you see her isn’t you despising her
• He does all sorts of romantic Romeo and Juliet bullshit to try to impress you and get you to like him
• Y'all hang out in his big ass tree under the stars that's where y'alls first kiss is
Stan Marsh, the Knight
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• I saw some fanart when Stan gets called Marshwalker and I thought it was the CUTEST thing- you probably call Stan your Marshwalker, only in private tho
• You're probably the elf princess and that gives him an excuse to be around you and protect you
• He definitely goes to Elf King Kyle like "H e y m y l i e g e I h a v e a c r u s h o n t h e p r i n c e s s- can I have your blessing?"
• It backfires very, very badly. But you know what?! You like him and he's still your knight so that's all that matters!
• You guys probably date in secret because Kyle wouldn’t exactly happy that y’all are dating
Kenny McCormick, the Princess
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• Cartman definitely yells at you and Princess Kenny when y’all flirt like he does his cat
• Cartman’s literally yelling “THATS GAY- BAD PRINCESSES, BAD >:( THATS MY PRINCESS KENNY” and you guys literally will not stop laughing about it
• It really just gives Princess Kenny the courage to flirt more, especially because she likes seeing the smile on your face when Cartman turns red from anger
• So flirting is something that happens very often between y’all-
• You guys are badass together, just 2 warrior princesses doing warrior princess things (Princess Kenny tries convincing you that kissing is totally a warrior princess thing)
Butters Stotch, the Paladin
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• I can guarantee you, Butters has forgotten that he’s mid battle and gets hit because he started thinking about how pretty you are
• It’s kinda sweet how he’s willing to protect with his life
• Expect him needing a lot of healing kisses on the cheek
• He’s the sweetest tho, Butters also always brings you flowers every time he sees you
• He insists on making you flower crowns because a princess needs a pretty flower crown that’s equally as pretty as her
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Imagine Shuri revealing your true heritage to you
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"Shuri wait" Okoye demanded catching the Princess by the wrist as she started in the direction of the dorms.
Shuri came to a stop looking over her shoulder with a guilty expression. "We can't just leave her here Okoye."
"And we can't just whisk her off to Wakanda right now with everything that is going on. Do you really think now is a good time? Okoye argued nodding her head towards Riri who was standing off to the side arms crossed over chest. A single foot tapping the ground as she tried to stay calm. She still didn't know why they were so obsessed with you all of a sudden. Sure your fighting skills was badass but surely Wakanda had better warriors.
Shuri ran both of her hands through her hair letting out a long sigh. The General was right now wasn't the time for this, but how was she suppose to carry on with the mission. After this jaw-dropping revelation Erik Killmonger wasn't suppose to have any relatives. She searched every corner of his past and the unpleasantness to make sure. This very day never came a day where another secret relative with direct ties to the throne came out of nowhere. Did you know who you really were? Did your father tell you about Wakanda, and your the history of your grandfather? Were you currently trying to follow in his footsteps and seek out revenge on them right now. It struck her that your father had also attended this same school. Is it why you chose to go MIT as well?
Shuri was going down the rabbit hole of possibilities and it was about to drive her crazy. Okoye moved to stand in front of her and took a hold of her chin gently. She tilted her heads upward to capture her gaze. "Breathe Shuri just breathe" Okoye soothed her rubbing her back. "The girl isn't going anywhere we can return for her another day plus isn't it best we make sure. She truly is his daughter before approaching her."
"Okay does someone want to tell me what is going on?" Riri blurted out.
Shuri's head snapped in her direction with a look or urgency. It made Riri regret speaking up as she shrunk back. "Have you been in her room before?"
Riri answered with a small nod.
"Does she have any pictures of her father?"
"Yeah she got one but she keeps it on her all the time. Its in her locket and she never takes the thing off. Its like her most prized possession her and her pops were real close." Riri informed her speaking in a way that made it clear she knew exactly how you felt. It was one of things you and her bonded over when y'all first met.
"Okoye the locket we need it" Shuri demanded.
"Hold on" Riri spoke up anger in her voice as she walked over to the two. "What's all this about anyway?"
"It doesn't conc-"
"Naw man I didn't tell y'all that so you could go take it from her. The locket is like the last thing she got to remember her father by. All of his other belongings went up in flames when their house caught fire. The picture is everything to her I'm not just going to stand by why you go take it. Not without an explanation" Riri said.
Okoye raised an eyebrow at the young girl's bold behavior. She noticed the way Riri was clenching her fists, and how her mouth twitched. She was nervous and maybe even a little afraid of what would happen next, but she wasn't going to back down. Even though Okoye wouldn't ever admit it Riri had just won a few brownie points with her. She didn't think the girl had it in her. "Easy Riri we're not stealing it we just need it to confirm a theory."
"Well it better be one hell of a theory if it's worth giving her a mental breakdown" Riri replied.
"I have reason to believe that your friend is my long-lost cousin who's father was a Prince of Wakanda" Shuri finally told her.
Her fists unclenched as her eyes widened in surprise then squinted in disbelief. Her hands came up to grip her head as she tried to come to terms with the truth. "Wait what?"
Okoye shook her head. "May I retrieve the locket now with your blessing Riri?"
"Um yeah" Riri waved her off as she started fiddling with her fingers.
Neither of them knew how the General was able to separate the necklace from your neck. After she returned just five minutes later with it in hand. She promised you can to no harm and didn't even notice her enter your dorm. Okoye handed the locket off to Riri surprisingly for safekeeping.
Riri didn't say anything just stuffed it in her pocket, but she appreciated it.
A Week Later
Riri wasn't kidding about the mental breakdown you were going to have if your locket went missing. When you came out of the bathroom to find your locket missing from your nightstand. Where you left it while you gave your face a quick wash off because of the sweat accumulated from the fight. You freaked out and destroyed your entire dorm trying to locate it. At first you assumed that maybe you misplaced where you put it, but deep down you knew it wasn't true. You never misplaced the locket not a single day in your life since your father gifted it too you. Before he departed on what would be his final mission, but at the time neither of you knew that.
You held onto that locket the way a person dangling off a cliff held onto the hand keeping them from falling to their death. The locket was your last connection to your father. The only thing bonding you to him still at least in your mind. So you knew without a doubt you didn't misplace it, or just toss it somewhere carelessly. The second theory that came to mind was Chad and his friends followed you to your dorm. They saw the opportunity to get payback for the beat down you gave them and took it. But if you had been thinking clearly you would’ve realized that you left Chad and one of his lackeys laid out in the courtyard. So it was highly unlikely either of them regained consciousness in such a short period of time, or one of his friends gathered up the courage to follow you to your dorm after the display of your fighting skills.
But you weren't thinking with your head instead your emotions were in control, and just like your dad. When your temper got the better of you it meant destruction and pain. Especially for the target of your anger you tracked Chad and his friends down that same night. At the sight of you stalking towards him with a look of pure hatred in your eyes. While him and his buddies were in the woods at a bonfire party, and away from the school-grounds, and the safety that the rules and policies granted them. The first time y'all faced off sent chills down his spine he dropped his beer, and attempted to run. But with blinding speed you were on him in a matter of seconds. Chad found himself pinned to the ground with his arm pulled upward in your grip. Your hand pushing his face into the ground not caring the dirt was filling the side of his mouth, and one of his nostrils.
His eyes squeezed shut as his screams of pain filled the air when you planted your foot in his back, and yanked on his arm. It felt like you were trying to rip it out of the socket. You leaned down to whisper in his ear.
"One. Chance. Where. Is. My. Locket." You practically growled pausing at each word.
"I don't know I don't know please y/n please." Chad babbled tears pooling up into his eyes. He was the co-captain of the swimming team and had an important meet coming up. If you broke his arm he would be out for the a couple of months.
"Stop lying to me you cocky son of a-" You were cut off when a body slammed into yours knocking you off of him, and to the ground. You and the rescuer rolled over each other. Both of you trying to get the upper hand you managed to plant a foot in the ground. On the fourth roll that put you on top, and push the mystery person down onto their back. Whoever it was struggled to get you off but a swift and hard punch to the nose made them stop. There was a sickening crunch after the blow letting you know their nose had broken. Blood poured from the injury some of it coating your fist as you brought it down again. This time striking the rescuer in the mouth a groan of pain, but at least you didn't knockout a tooth.
Well good for them but shame for you, so you hit the person again in the mouth. They brought a hand up pushing it up against your face, you knocked it away. Then struggled to pin both of their free arms under your knees. You caught a glimpse of the rescuer's face lit up by the flames of the raging fire. It was none other than Liam Hanes the captain of the swimming team, and Chad's best friend. He hadn't been in the courtyard earlier when the two of you got into it. But no doubt did he hear about the fight, and probably plotted some revenge against you.
All you saw was red as you were finally successful in pinning his arms. Now with complete control over him instead going for the face you turned around and slammed your knuckles down onto his taut stomach. His legs kicked out as he screamed in pain "Stevens calm the fuck down its not that serious."
"Yes it is that locket is all I have left this isn't funny. What did you and your friends do with it?" You cried back.
Liam saw the pained look in your expression and knew this had to do with so much more than Chad giving you a hard time. It was personal and if he couldn’t convince of their innocence. There was a good chance him and Chad would leave the party in stretchers tonight. Another rapid shot to the ribs followed by a kidney punch left him winded, and tears in his eyes. He didn't know you could be so ruthless.
"I was at....." He paused taking in as much air as he could only to expel it again to plead his case. "At swimming practice when the shit went down y/n. I didn't hear about the fight till an hour ago here got damnit. Listen to me we didn't do it we were going to dump some paint on you as payback tomorrow in class. Stevens I swear on my mother's grave it wasn't us." His voice got louder as did the desperation in his tone. As you bunched up his shirt in your hand to pull him up a bit. Your fist pulled back as you stared him down.
But when your eyes met his and he swore on his deceased mother that it wasn't him. You had no choice but to believe him because the pain of losing a parent that you loved was one that only so many people knew. And no one spoke on the deceased if they didn't mean it. You let him go and stood up looking around. Some kids were watching the fight go down with their phones up recording. While others were too drunk and caught up with themselves to pay attention.
Chad stood a few feet away clutching his right shoulder. While it wasn't broken you probably did strain so badly till it sprained. He would have to go to the doctor tomorrow.
"I'm sorry" you murmured your apology barely reached his ears, but he nodded. No one tried to stop you from leaving Chad was more concerned with his beaten and battered friend.
You returned to your dorm that night and cried yourself to sleep. The next morning you checked the lost and found with no such luck. As the days went by your mood got worse as you were forced to accept that it might just be gone for good. It wasn't just a normal locket with a normal picture. Your dad specially made it for you out of some precious metal he'd been holding onto, and the picture in it was a mini digital photo reel. It had all of your best memories with him installed it so you could always look back.
You became a ghost around campus, and while no one messed with you in the past. Because you would literally beat the living hell out of them. Now everyone was steering clear of you as if they could see a dark cloud of despair floating above your head.
This went on for a week until out of the blue a knock came from your door bringing you out of your thoughtless trance. Music was softly playing in the background something to just keep you aware, but nothing you really cared to listen to.
Whoever it was knocked again a bit more forceful this time. "Girl come on and open this door I know you in there. People are starting to stare and they looked scared for me. What did you do?"
You threw yourself out of bed hurrying to yank the door open to see if it really was her. The voice sounded familiar but it'd been so long in your head since you heard a friendly voice. You had to be sure you weren't being delusional. Indeed it was Riri Williams who was behind the door dressed in a simple black shirt, tight dark blue jeans, and had a pair of black Nikes on as well.
"Where the hell have you been Riri" You exclaimed throwing your arms around her neck, and burying your face into her shoulder.
She stumbled back from the force of your hug not to mention you had a couple of inches on her in height. But wasted no time in returning the hug. "You didn't hear your girl got whisked away to Wakanda for some outreach program."
You let out a low whistle as you pulled back to look her in the face. "I heard that wasn't sure if it was a rumor or not. How was it?"
"It was eventful I mean don't get wrong Wakanda is beautiful and all but it was a lot" she said.
You finally released and stepped aside to let her in, and missed the way she was trying to gauge your reaction about her mentioning Wakanda.
You closed the door and went over to sit beside her on your bed where she was already located. "I've heard stories about the beauty of that country. I bet the sight was breathtaking, but what happened that made you come back here so fast?"
"Well I know you heard the queen died over there and everything. Things just got crazy afterwards and it didn't feel right to be there" Riri told you. Letting out a sigh afterwards and falling backwards on your bed.
You did the same but scooted over so your head was on her shoulder. "I actually didn't hear about that and I'm sorry you were there for it. I've been out of the loop these past couple of days my locket is gone, and I can't find it."
"Oh yeah I saw Liam and Chad on the way here one of them has an arm in a sling, and the other has a bruised up face with a bandaged nose. I'm guessing that was your doing. She felt your head move against her shoulder in a nod, and let out a little laugh. "Damn I actually feel sorry for them."
"No more sorry than I do I'm surprised neither of them snitched on me. Plenty of kids got the evidence on their phones pretty sure they could've gotten me kicked out of school."
"Well I for one am happy they didn't it was just a misunderstanding after all." Riri tried to reassure you wrapping an arm around your shoulder.
"It doesn't change the fact my locket is gone" you whispered burying your face into her chest.
"You mean this locket" Riri whispered in your ear with a tone of excitement. You looked up to see your locket dangling in her hand, and tears flooded your vision. She managed to slip it around your neck somehow as you sobbed into her chest. Of course you wanted to question her on how she got it. But for now you were just overcome with emotions at being reunited with the thing you valued most in the world. The cool touch of the metal on your neck felt like your father clasping your neck as he looked down at you with that proud smile on his face.
"There's my little solider" He would whisper
Riri brought a hand to your hair and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "Its okay I know" she repeated over and over letting you get it all out.
"How did you get it?" You asked in between hiccups.
"I found it in the brush near where you beat Chad up that day. It probably came off while you fighting them." She lied smoothly hoping you wouldn't pick up on it. She had rehearsed it a hundred times over during the plane ride back home, and the walk over here.
Shuri caught her by the wrist just as she was leaving and placed it in her hand. "I'm going to assume y/n is going to be looking for this."
Riri opened her hand to see the locket and her eyes widening in realization. "Hell yeah I can't believe I almost forgot it homegirl is probably freaking out still." She had been through so much these past couple of days, but you were her main concern just like that. "Wait is her father who you think he is" she asked curiously.
Shuri gave her a nod the expression on her face going stern. "Do not tell her about it we have no way of knowing how she will react. I'll be there in a few days to talk to her after I take care of something"
Riri assured the Princess of Wakanda she had no desire to be the one to deliver such big news. After all she could barely comprehend it herself.
"I can't believe it was there the whole time" You said with a joyful chuckle.
"Well you know you get pretty heated during those fights. I been telling to learn some damn control" Riri joked with a grin.
"Oh please you be egging me on all the time especially if I'm fighting for you" You laughed lifting your head from her chest to look down at her.
"Hey don't act like those guys don't have it coming plus its not like I don't repay you back. Who does all of your chemical engineering homework for free?"
"You do but don't get a big head about it that has nothing to do with my major. I was shoved into that class by force" You reminded her playfully digging all of your fingers into both of her sides.
"Stevens" she squealed out your last name immediately trying to roll away, but she should've known better. You were an expert at pinning anyone down which is why she hated no despised tickle fights with you. She never stood a chance but luckily for her you were in her debt for finding the locket.
Her laughter was cut off as you pressed her lips to her's in a hesitant but adoring kiss. Your fingers stopped moving against her ribs as your hands rested on her waist. Riri froze up at first but started kissing back the second she realized what was going on. The kiss lasted for maybe two seconds before you pulled away
"Thank you Riri god I freaking love you."
The confession made her speechless too much was happening too fast. Of course she downplayed her relationship with you that day with Shuri and Okoye. She didn't know what they wanted with her, and didn't want them to know about you. While the two of you weren't together then she had definitely been feeling you for a while.
"I love you too" Riri said after a few minutes not wanting you to think she didn't feel the same.
"Mmmm I know" You whispered head resting on her chest again.
Three Days Later
You thought your relationship with Riri would be good after the two of you finally confessed your feelings for each other. Things were okay after the kiss you and her now had a habit of crashing in each other's dorm more often now. And the making out was awesome but you felt like she was keeping something from you. What bothered you the most was you didn't know if it was the new relationship, or whatever happened in Wakanda eating at her.
Every time you tried to talk to her about the trip she would either deflect or completely changed the topic. You didn't think the two things were connected at first until you started noticing the way her gaze would linger on your locket sometimes. When she thought you weren't looking and the guilt on her face as she stared. Like she knew something about your dad that you didn't. You wanted to trust her and let it go but it was your dad. There was still a lot of mystery surrounding his death, and what happened. Which you expected from the beginning when news of his passing finally reached you. But the file the agent gave you was completely blacked out not even telling you where the mission was.
So it was impossible for you to just move on. While you weren't going to twist her arm about it you were going to ask, and pay attention to the way she answered. If Riri lied then you would know.
You were on your way to meet her at a nearby cafe for the conservation. But when you opened your door to leave your dorm you came face to face with Shuri. The Princess of Wakanda.
Your jaw-dropped in shock as you took a step back into your room. She took the opportunity to come into your room, and kick the door shut with her foot.
"Y/N Stevens we need to talk."
Um if you're looking for Riri then I was actually on my way to her right now." You told her with a nervous smile as your mind went haywire. There was no way she was here for you right?
"Riri is actually the one who told me where to find you. She's been worried about you, these past couple of days texting me to come and clear things up with you as fast as possible."
Now she had your attention as your phone slipped from your grip as you were in the middle of texting your girlfriend. "What?"
The phone would've slammed into the floor if it wasn't for Shuri dashing forward to catch it just inches from impact. She tossed it on your bed and took a seat in the desk chair. Leaning forward she rest her elbows on her knees and jutted her chin towards your bed. "You might want to sit down for this."
"What could you possibly know about me that Riri wouldn't be willing to share if she knew too?" You asked.
"Sit down please then we can talk" Shuri demanded again.
You were getting ready to head for the door determined to get the answer out of Riri yourself. When her next words made you freeze up, and your blood run cold.
"Your father Erik Stevens aka Killmonger was a Prince of Wakanda just like his father before him. Prince N'Jobu and that makes you y/n Stevens a Princess of Wakanda as well."
You whirled around eyes widened in shock and they practically bulged out of the sockets. At the sight of her holding up a gold chain with a large purplish black ring on it. The ring was identical to the one your father wore all the time around his neck. It matched the material your chain for your locket was made out of. You squinted your eyes as you realized it was your father's ring. But that was impossible it had to be everything she just said had to be a lie. The room started spinning as you stumbled over to Shuri hand reaching for the ring.
But you fell short as your body collapsed and you lost consciousness. The last thing you remember is Shuri lunging forward to catch your body in her arms. Right before your head hit the floor, and you could swear you heard your father's voice clear as day.
"There's my little solider."
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animeyanderelover · 1 year
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Uh I've been meaning to ask headcanon about hashirama senju being completely yandere for izuna and Madara little sister....but with a little bit spice that the reader is just a badass female Uchiha and would do everything for her dear brother thank you so much author San... always love your blog xoxo 💋
Senju x Uchiha dynamic is always really interesting to be honest.
Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusion, clinginess
Darling is Madara's younger sister
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🌳Madara used to tell him often about Izuna and you as you two were the only siblings he had left. From his descriptions, Hashirama always imagined you as someone fierce and courageous, loyal and compassionate about those you cared about the most. Judging from the softer look on Madara's face when talking about his younger siblings, he knew that Izuna and you meant a lot to him. It wasn't until his father found out about his secret friendship with the Uchiha and wanted him to bait the young Madara that he met you for the first time as Madara's father also figured out the forbidden friendship. Children were used often in the war as a lot of people lost their lives yet he couldn't help but be shocked when seeing you inside an amor too big on your small build yet with a fierce and hardened expression as you clutched the katana inside your hands. A vivid image of his own brothers who had lost their lives as he looked at you and Izuna, begging silently to not let more young children lay down their lives.
🌳The conflict was avoided luckily although it came with the price of losing his friend who in return activated his Sharingan to protect his younger siblings. Years passed by for his clan and the Uchiha clan alike, years where the names Madara Uchiha, Izuna Uchiha and (y/n) Uchiha became widely known and feared as the three siblings were regarded as the strongest in the entire Uchiha clan. In a time mainly dominated by men in the war, you stood proud and tall as the feared Uchiha princess with your Katon so strong that it needed multiple Suiton users to put a stop to your ninjutsu even if your element should have been the inferior one. You were merciless and slaughtered everyone who got in your way as years of war and death had essentially numbed you yet you seemed to follow your own codex of honor. You never slaughtered children, even if they were from the Senju clan as you deemed them as not worthy to already lose their lives, a hidden pain in your eyes as you had lost a few of your brothers too at a young age.
🌳You were an enemy best avoided, had had a few clashes with Tobirama in the past where both of you were unable to kill the other. Yet Tobirama killed Izuna, one of the few family members that you had left and you broke down when he died with his last plead to not submit to the Senju clan. During the final confrontation where Hashirama begs you to stop as enough people have already lost their lives, you can't help but let your temper get the better of you, demanding the life of his younger brother as payback for the death of your own brother. It's the first time both of you have seen each other really again since that day so many years ago. Both of you have changed. He's become the head of his clan and one of the strongest warriors alive whilst you've grown into a battle-hardened and strong woman, scars littering your body and Sharingan activated as your hatred overflows in that moment. Hashirama looks at you, recalls how small you used to be and his heart clenches when he sees the clear pain in your eyes.
🌳When he offers his own life if it means that you two agree to peace to finally end this conflict that has both of your clans on the brink of exhaustion, you don't hesitate to dash to him, katana pressed against his neck. You know that his brother will kill you but you don't care. Losing without avenging your brother somehow would never give you peace even in the afterlife. Only when Madara tells you to stop, acknowledging Hashirama's honesty and sincerity, do you pull back. Peace is eventually made and Madara and Hashirama even build their own nation. You're not fully fine with forgetting all the hatred and suffering but are fiercely loyal to your last sibling so you follow along. You ignore and spite Tobirama and his older brother whenever you can though, especially the younger Senju sibling as he's the one who took Izuna from you. Hashirama is somewhat endurable although his goofy behavior at times annoys you, the only reason why you try to be respectful is because you know that Madara values him as a good friend.
🌳Looking on how you're Madara's younger sister, it's no wonder that Hashirama tries to get on good terms with you, especially since you hang a lot around your older brother. He knows that you're still sceptical and understands where your deep-rooted dislike comes as you lost one of your last brothers thanks to his brother. The tension between you and Tobirama could be cut with a kunai as Hashirama tries his best to do as much as he can to ease you two up a little bit. He constantly has Tobirama apologizing to you as his brother can't keep his sharp tongue from cutting you and you reply with equal hatred to the point where Madara has to hold you back from getting into a huge fight. You're quite cold around Hashirama, have ghosted him more than once which had Tobirama seething because of the sheer amount of disrespect but Hashirama laughs it off every time. His optimism sometimes scares you a bit as you're unable to comprehend how one man can act like nothing happened whenever you don't even listen to him and essentially make a fool out of him by doing so.
🌳A lot of effort from Hashirama's side and begrudging patience from your side, mainly because you know how important that man is to Madara, eventually allows you two to get on better terms. Obviously you don't reply with the same amount of energy or are as enthusiastic as Hashirama is but you can hang out and have a drink with him even when Madara isn't around and whilst you will still leave him alone when he becomes too much for you to handle, you listen to him more. You start acknowledging him and his sincere interest to care for the village and to keep everything peaceful so that no one has to suffer anymore. It doesn't mean by a long shot that you behave yourself when his younger brother is anywhere around and he doesn't put a lot of effort in either but you start warming up, something Hashirama is thrilled about. You're tough and a war veteran but Hashirama admires you as he also sees your loyalty and your gentler side although you express your love more in a tough way.
🌳One has to wonder when exactly his feelings started spiraling out of control as you two spend more time together although you still spend more time organizing everything inside the Uchiha compound and even teaching the younger generation. You're not honored as one of the strongest and smartest Uchiha warriors for nothing though as you recognize the worrying signs of a growing infatuation inside Hashirama as the lines between plantonic and romantic blur fast and cause you to abruptly pull back and distance yourself from the man. You're at an age where a lot of people have already tried to court you yet you have rejected every single one of them as no one has met your expectations. The eldest in your clan have gone insane by now as you have rejected every single one of the man they've chosen for you but they can keel over and die. You will choose the one you marry yourself and expect perfection from him as much as from yourself.
🌳You know that Hashirama is really strong and you search for that in your partner but you've never considered him as a potential suitor of yours. You like him but that's all and the thought of marrying him and having Tobirama as your brother-in-law makes your skin crawl. You're sure the younger Senju brother would feel the same and that would make it one of the rare times where both of you would actually agree on something. Unfortunately Hashirama is not very good in hiding his feelings for you as he often seeks you out. The Senju clan notices and Tobirama feels like he will rip his hair out in utter frustration and the Uchiha clan notices too, leaving Madara conflicted. On the one hand Hashirama is his best friend but on the other hand you're his younger sister and admittedly, he doesn't want Tobirama as a brother-in-law either. The eldest of both clans have rather mixed emotions about this too. Some reject this development, others seem a bit more interested. Especially the Uchiha clan might see a few opportunities since the Hokage tries to court one of their clan members.
🌳You won't be subjected to any arranged marriage nor will you be used as something the eldest can try to take advantage of, you make that much clear to everyone. You don't dislike Hashirama and if he fits your standard, you will consider him as a suitor for you but he has to earn your respect for that. That's how everything starts as Hashirama's heart soars when you tell him firmly that you will only tolerate him if he qualifies in your eyes. You make the decision here, not him nor any of the eldest from the clan. That doesn't mean that you've accepted him yet but his brain, by now pretty much riddled with pretty delusions, takes it. In the end he exposes himself as a lovesick fool who gladly trails behind you like a little duckling, something that half-amuses you and half-annoys you since you value your private time alone, something he has a hard time giving you. His whole clan and especially his brother can only grown in frustration as their mightiest member becomes putty in your hands.
🌳Hashirama starts courting you as you're showered with hair ornaments, clothes, jewels and bouquets of flowers he arranged himself. Some of them are genuinely pretty but you don't know what to do with most of those as you're still a warrior deep down and would be much happier about shuriken, kunai or a good katana. It's not like Hashirama doesn't know how you think but he wants to leave the past of wars behind. He's finally established peace with the help of Madara and everyone else and wants you to enjoy yourself. You're not weak by all means, he knows since he's seen you a few times on the battlefield himself. You're as deadly as you're beautiful yet he would wish for you to settle down a bit as he's aware that you still train a few hours a day intensely. When he's with you, he only pays attention to you and hangs on every word that you speak like a religious follower.
🌳You may or may not decide to give in or not to his courting, that's up to you. The man definitely worships the ground you're walking on and would be willing to do everything to make you happy. You can only give him your heart though if you know that your brother fully approves and he's at times a bit conflicted how to feel to the point where he interferes and squeezes himself behind you and his clingy friend to block Hashirama. You can expect Hashirama to beg his friend for approval at least once a day, something his clan and his younger brother scold him harshly for since he should hold his head high as the leader of the Senju clan and the Hokage of Konohagakure. It's not like he could force you into anything even if you were to reject him either. You're the sister of Madara who is very protective of you and are together with him in a very high position. To top it all, if someone were to force you into something you don't want to do, you'd slice their head off for sure.
🌳Honestly, it's initially all harmless for the most part as Hashirama is merely very clingy and obsessive. Surely he fully snaps when Madara abandons the village and you should decide to go with him as he's your only family left. Chasing after you two in desperation, going as far as kneeling down to beg you to not leave. He's established peace, a village, a safer world but yet his best friend and his love are about to leave. He will never feel fully content unless he has you by his side. Fighting against you and his best friend is bound to break him, especially when he gives Madara a lethal injury whilst you have to watch how your last family is taken away from you, resulting in a deep hatred against Hashirama. You could never love him again after this even if you did love him at one point in time and that shatters the man, knowing that you two are past the point of return and things will never be the same again. Instead of letting you go though, he confines you as his heart is unable to let you go leave him too. If he's unable to have your heart, he'll at least make sure that you're still in the village where you resent him until death finally embraces you. A truly tragic love story, wouldn't you agree, my dear?
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TWHOSF SEASON 3 EPISODE 8 (Wholesomeness, comedy, crazy exes, and badass kids incoming)
INTRO
Luke: I take every challenge head on no matter how impossible it seems
Jamie: I’m the king of my castle and I rule with effortless style
Rashid: People call me the Chaos King, but I’m more of an Internet informant
Ken: My fire and passion for life, family, and friends still burns inside, and it will never die out
Cody: You can take a thug out of the streets, but never the streets out of a thug
Bosch: Anyone can become a warrior, but it takes selfless courage to be a protector
The Warrior Husbands of Street Fighter Season 3
Episode 8: Cussin Kids on Halloween Night (Dads are a bad influence in this episode where the dad’s take the kids trick or treating)
*Jamie’s House*
JAMIE
Jamie: Things have been kind of slowed down lately, which is good. I go out and protect these streets, and do my modeling gigs, come home and spend time with my family…and I love it. My family…sometimes not the modeling gigs. I got asked to be a foot model twice since the Jamaica trip. You can’t believe how many people want to suck my damn toes. Then again, people want to suck my wife’s toes…and surprisingly Luke’s toes. Now that my wife is at home cleaning after finishing up with her clients, I have to go get the kids from school. I have the twins in the stroller with me since we actually live in walking distance from the school.
*At the school, the other moms are drooling over Jamie…again*
JJ: Dad!!!
Yaya: Baba!!!
*Tackled by his kids practically*
Jamie: Hey little ones, let’s get home, gotta make sure you get that homework done before dinner…understood.
JJ & Yaya: Yes…*They hate homework*
*About 5 minutes into the walk*
Yaya: Baba?*
Jamie: Hmm?
Yaya: I want to ask you something.
Jamie: What is it, little princess?
Yaya: Can you teach me?
Jamie: Teach you what?
Yaya: How to fight…I wanna fight like you. I really really wanna learn. Can you teach me, pleeeeeease?
Jamie: I know your mom won’t mind, but are you sure you’re ready? I won’t go easy on you.
Yaya: You barely go easy on me now…I’m ready to learn, Baba.
Jamie: Well, if you’re sure, get some sleep because we have to get up early.
Yaya: Yes! I will Baba! I can’t wait.
*They get home and it smells hella good, but it’s not quite ready yet so the kids go off to do their homework while Jamie goes over to kiss his wife*
Jamie: Guess what?
Anya: What?
Jamie: Yaya just asked me to train her.
Anya: And?
Jamie: I said yes…
Anya: Well, if she wants to get good, she needs to start now anyway…dragon warrior.
Jamie: Ooh…you know what that does to me. *He kisses her neck*
Anya: Well…I’ve been banging my master for years, I have four kids with him and now he’s taking on one of his own kids as a disciple…how is that not a turn on?
Jamie: You’re so gettin it later. We haven’t done it in the shower for a while…your dirty thoughts need to get cleaned up.
Anya: You’re on…but let’s eat. DINNER’S READY, MUNCHKINS!
*The Siu family is gathering together to eat, including the 1 year olds who can mostly feed themselves…they’ll just need cleaning up. The kids are put to bed and then the camera crew leaves as the door is closed to the room and the faint sound of water running and shower sex is heard*
*Next morning*
*Just like when he was young, she is balancing several cups on her body, in order to learn perfect form while in the horse stance*
Jamie: Remember, even before you can learn to strike, learn to defend…you must learn balance, strength, discipline…*A stick suddenly hits her arm to rebalance*…and concentration.…
Yaya: Shi de Shifu…*Maintains form*
Jamie: You must develop your strength and your flexibility at the very foundation of your body before anything else.
Yaya: Shi…Shifu…
*Anya looks on from the back door with so much love and pride while holding Jia Li on her hip*
*He then takes off the cups*
Jamie: Stand up…straight…you might feel wobbly.
Yaya: My legs feel like Jello and I’m a little sore, but…it’s all apart of learning. I can’t wait to keep going.
Jamie: Alright let’s get inside, I’ll help you stretch and then get some food in you. You gotta eat to get stronger.
Yaya: I love you Baba!
Jamie: I love you too, Daddy’s Princess.
*He opens the door…and shit is on the floor again*
Jamie: JJ! Get in here and clean this shit up. I’m tired of you leaving your shit on my floor. Pick it up or I’m tossing all this shit out!
JJ: Dad! Give me a break!
*There’s always a slipper…and it goes flying through the air and the kid dodges it*
Jamie in Cantonese: (Don't talk back to me! Clean this shit up now dammit or I’ll give you rass something to dodge)
*JJ values his existence, the bamboo stick is not his friend.*
*Later in the day*
*Buckler Security Services*
LUKE
Luke: I’ve been hard at work training again, and even with my line selling as well as it has, I feel my best when I’m training others. I was a little unsettled by what Nate told me yesterday, but I’m putting it out of my mind for now.
Luke: Alright everybody, we’re taking a break, 1 hour, go ahead and refuel!
Nate: Yo coach! Your wife is here!
*Sarita comes in with the kids in tow*
Sarita: I got lunch, enough for all of us, and of course, food for the baby.
Luke: Go ahead in the back, I’m coming.
Sarita: Let’s go, kiddos!
*After she gets the kids settled in, she comes in…Brianna Forje, his ex from a long time ago*
Brianna: Luke! Oh, my goodness, I was able to catch you…how’ve you been?
Luke: Good. It’s been a long ass time since I’ve seen you.
Brianna: And you still look good as hell.
Luke: Look, I’m just checking some equipment before I eat lunch so…
Brianna: You don’t wanna catch up? Go to lunch for old times’ sake?
Luke: No.
Brianna: *Grabs Luke’s arm running her fingers up his forearm* Come one, not even ONE time?
Luke: *Pushes her away* No, we were done a long time ago. I’m married.
Brianna: Married? It isn’t worth it, you need some excitement. Nothing is fun about fucking the same old vagina for you men…we have time for something…
Luke: It’s fun to me, I have five children…so obviously the vagina is good to me still. Get outta my gym.
Sarita: Something wrong, hunny?
Luke: Nothing at all, babe, just tying up loose ends.
Brianna: This is your wife?
Sarita: Yep, Sarita Sullivan…
Brianna: Back when we dated, you would have never dated, much less married a woman like her.
Sarita: A woman like me?
Brianna: Yeah…you’re not skinny, or muscular…or particularly pretty.
Sarita: Your types think looks are everything all the time. I have personality, brains, and obviously pretty good pussy if he can’t pull out…I got five babies, and one is just a month old. Stop the psychobabble bullshit and leave.
Brianna: Bitch, I can take him from you and leave you and those damn kids on the street scrounging for pennies on welfare.
Sarita: *Pulls a knife* You sure about that? Give it a shot…which limb do you need the least? I can cut it off for you. For free.
Brianna: Seems like this crazy bitch trapped you in this marriage this way, huh Luke?
Luke: Nope. I like it…you’re so damn sexy when you’re angry, babe.
Sarita: Calm your shit, I just had number 5…
Luke: There can always be number 6…
Sarita: Get a damn vasectomy.
Luke: Only if you get your shit burned and tied.
Sarita: You know, that might not be a bad idea either way, we’ll discuss it later.
Brianna: You know my daddy’s rich; he can grease the pockets of any politician here to let me get away with anything.…either way Luke, we’ll be together.
Luke: Is she for real? I’ve had my fill of psycho bitches man.
Luke: Don’t be so sure…get the fuck out of my gym. I’m going to eat lunch with my kids now…get the fuck out.
Brianna: Not without a proper answer.
Luke: I gave you one…no…
Brianna: Not good enough.
*The door is opened from the back*
Bobby: Hey lady! Get your weird ass outta here! I’m trying to enjoy my lunch!
Kathy: It’s October, put some damn clothes on, it’s cold…and take a damn shower. I can smell that fishy hoo-hah in your skinny jeans a mile away!
Mateo: My dad is not available!! Get the fuck out!
Eric: You’re ugly anyway, fuckin toad lookin ass bitch!
Luke: What have I told your asses about meddling in adult business!? Get back in there before I put my foot up everybody’s ass in there!
*The kids quickly vanished*
Brianna: Wow…our kids would have better manners.
Luke: Too bad we’ll never have kids…now get the hell out.
*She watches them leave before leaving herself*
Sarita: What have I told y’all about cussin in public? This is how you got trouble in school last time! Sit down, eat and shut up!
Mateo: But…
Luke: HEY! What did your mom just say!?
*Silent eating continues*
*The baby is 100% unbothered and used to it*
Luke: I swear, I don’t where these kids get this shit from.
*Luke shoots a text to Cody about Brianna*
*The hot tub at the mayor’s mansion*
*Rashid is also here*
CODY
Cody: Luke just told me about his crazy ex, I don’t need anyone here in Metro city fuckin with my family, my friends, and their families. That crosses a line. This woman’s father is a politician from another state who has a history of bribery, if he tries, he’s gonna get the good ol Metro City special. This man is supposed to be at this ridiculous fundraiser thing that I have to put on…well, Melanie’s doing the work. That’s on the backburner for now, we’re getting mentally prepared to take these bad ass kids trick or treating tomorrow.
Cody: Your neighborhood has the highest candy haul, right?
Rashid: Some of these people have full sized candy bars, and since we’re in the area, we can just let the kids go through their shit on my living room floor.
Cody: Sounds like a plan, my man. But damn it, even after this, now Luke has a crazy bitch on his tail.
Rashid: I’m glad most women thought I was too stupid to ever want me…I can’t imagine how that would be.
Cody: Well…it ain’t fun at all. It’s good to relax. I get tired of weird ass interns flashing me…
Rashid: Like full on flash?
Cody: This one intern actually was spread eagle on my desk one more time because her meal was nice, hot and moist, ready to be eaten. I kicked that bitch out and had her put in jail. I also had my office sanitized.
Rashid: That’s fuckin wild, man!
Cody: And unpleasant…
Rashid: I guess I’d rather not be in your position.
Cody: It’s a hard position man.
Rashid: Heh…you said hard…
Cody: *rolls eyes*
*The hangout continues*
*Time passes*
*Halloween Night*
*All the kids have on costumes, including the stroller babies*
*The dads are out with the kids in Rashid’s neighborhood*
*The kids run up to a house*
Jamie: Yaya asked me to train her, I don’t know if I feel prouder as a father of a teacher to be honest.
Ken: I know the feeling. Little bird put a whole in the fence yesterday.
Ryu: You’re kidding!? She actually did it!?
Ken: Yep. She managed to create enough of a hadoken for her body size to put a whole in the fence. She’s so excited.
Ryu: Well, I guess I better get ready.
Ken: Ready for what?
Ryu: To take on my first student. Her having access to this power and learning even a bit of Ansatsuken means the Hado will come for her too when she’s old enough. Better start training her now.
Ken: You have a point. You definitely have bested that better than anyone. I trust me baby with you.
Issac: I wish I knew how to fight.
Luke: You never asked…
Issac: Good point.
Cody: It is something to think about though. At least one of our kids will want to learn our styles. They are the next generation.
Rashid: Food for thought.
Vega: I am not sure…if I could ever teach my daughter what I know…
Bosch: You have a point there…
Luke: Neither can you, I was the one that trained your ass.
Bosch: *Hisses at Luke who just laughs*
*Suddenly*
Eric: How the hell did you get a full size and a fun size and I got only a full size!
Malik: Hey, luck of the draw!
JJ: Come on! Not tonight! Don’t start this bullshit again! Can we have one night without somebody arguing!
Adelaide: Come on JJs right, it’s Halloween, who cares who got an extra fun size, we’re all loaded with candy.
Amir: You are defending JJ a lot lately little bird. Romance blossoming?
Adelaide: That’s all you ever think about, we’re kids, who the hell is dating any fucking body!?
Yaya: That’s right best friend, we have our entire lives head of us still.
Kathy: Best friend? What am I chopped fucking liver!?
Yaya: More like an annoying pain in the ass that I have to be around way too much because our dads are somehow friends when they aren’t arguing or trying to fight each other.
Kathy: Yet, you kissed my brother.
Yaya: That was months ago!
Bobby: Kat, can we not? Let’s just go! We just have four more houses!
Kaori: Here we go with the damn pissing match with these two.
Kai: Don’t start fighting now!
Ximena: Perras estupidas (Stupid bitches in Spanish)
JJ: You’re not fighting right now, Yaya.
Kathy: Yeah, because she’s scaaaared.
JJ: Shut the fuck up, Kat.
Eric: Watch who you’re talking to, Jamie Siu Jr!
JJ: I will drop your ass right now!
*The dads approach*
Jamie: HEY!! ALL OF YOU STOP IT OR WE’RE TAKING ALL YOUR DAMN CANDY!!
Luke: Eric, cut the shit!
Eric: He started it!
Luke: You started it, and say one more word…
Eric: *under his breath* Punk ass…
Vega: Ooooh. I heard that, he just tried to test you, are you going to set him straight?
Luke: Oh, hell no!!
*Luke takes off his belt and lifts Eric off the ground and he gets that ass spanked in front of everybody*
*Rashid is 1000% recording this shit. He’s even walking around to get all the angles*
Luke: Your ass is done for the night. I’m taking this bag and you’re staying with me while everybody else gets to the last few houses and get more candy. Your ass is grounded too for two weeks and when we get home to your mom, it’s round 2. The tablet and the games are locked up and you better not touch or even look at any thing your siblings have, understood?
Eric: Yes sir.
Luke: Stay close.
Jamie: Aye aye captain!
Luke: Shut your ass up fool…
Ryu: Is this what I have to look forward to when my twins get bigger?
Ken: Yep…good luck…
*The other guys are trying so hard to not fucking die laughing at a kid getting his ass put in his place*
Bosch: This isn’t funny…but it kind of is. I’ve never seen Luke get that pissed in all the years I’ve known him…he’s almost scarier than Nia or Sarita when they’re mad.
*The night continues as the kids gather the last of the candy from the houses and go through it all on Rashid’s living room floor. Some even trade for things they like more*
*They eventually all go home with hyper ass sugared up kids and wait forever for them to go to sleep*
*The next day*
*Bosch, Nia, Deepa, E. Honda, Hari, Maya, the kids and Kareena are waiting outside in the waiting area during Genevieve’s attempted murder trial*
*This time, the trial was closed off to the cameras and the live news feed*
*Except for the verdict, which due to the evidence, was a unanimous guilty *
[Judge Valdez: Genevieve Blanche Kassidy, maiden name Oliver, you have been found guilty by a jury of your peers. Your sentencing date will be January 9th. If you wish to appeal the verdict or the sentence after it is imposed, you have 90 days after each to so. Court is adjourned.]
*Genevieve is carted off, but only after she grabs the bailiff’s gun and attempts to use it on him, firing twice before being taken down while screaming that he ruined her life and should have just behaved*
*Issac is rushed outside the doors
*He comes out*
*Kareena rushes to hug him*
Kareena: I’m so glad you’re already, sweetheart. That bitch is gone out of our lives.
Issac: I thought I was about to punch my ticket right there.
Kareena: I’m glad you’re alright…I have a surprise for you. I was waiting for this to be over to tell you…I’m pregnant.
Issac: Really!? Oh my god!! *He picks her up and hugs her as the kids get excited* Now we can finally live our lives.
Madi: Mom…now what are we going to do?
Kareena: Well, we’re gonna go to your grandparent’s house because.
E.Honda: Chanko stew will warm you up when it’s cold! And it’s made with a lot of love!
Deepa: There is nothing but love in your wonderful heart.
Sarai: That's right, Grandma Deepa! That's why we loooove Papa Edmond!
*The kids all group hug him which makes him smile so much more*
*They all venture off to the home of the Hondas for a good cold fall meal of the best Chanko Stew outside of Japan*
*EPISODE END*
GENEVIEVE ASS IS GUILTY! AND CRAZY AS HELL!
THEM KIDS ARE BAD AS FUCK! LMAO!
LUKE FINALLY SNAPPED!
JAMIE TRAINING HIS DAUGHTER IS SO ADORABLY WHOLESOME
CODY HAS SEEN MORE VAGINA THAN EVEN A REGULAR POLITICIAN, PROBABLY BECAUSE HE’S SO DAMN HOOOOOT!
RASHID RECORDING A CHILD GETTING HIS ASS WHOOPED
MORE BABIES INCOMING! GENEVIEVE’S DAUGHTER IS CALLING HER STEPMOTHER, MOM. POOR KID WAS TRAUMATIZED AND NOW SHE’S HAPPY
LUKE’S EX BETTER GTFO, HIS WIFE IS CRAZY, HIS KIDS ARE SAVAGE, AND HE’S GOT FRIENDS IN HIGH ASS PLACES
Upcoming Episode 9 (Season Finale): Christmas time!
SEASON 4 IS IN THE PLANNING STAGES!!
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awesomerextyphoon · 4 months
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Realm Discoveries While Hangry
Summary: Ife's not herself while hangry, especially on a mission. Luckily, this one worked out for the best.
Pairing: Slight Steve Rogers x Black!Alien Warrior Princess OFC Ifekerenma aka Ife
Characters: Natasha, Steve, Ifekerenma, Nick Fury, OFCs, mentions of Tony Stark and Bruce Banner
Rating: 18 + / Mature
Word Count: 1.9K
Warnings: Dark Comedy Bordering on Absurdity, Ife being a Badass Glutton, Some Violence, Some Fluff
A/N: This is the start of something a little different. I want to make some short stories that will tie back into the main series whenever I'm between chapters. I'm still working on the main series and the next chapter will be published before the end of 2023. Thanks to @firefly-graphics for the dividers!
Main Masterlist
Series Masterlist
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What was with these supposed 'geniuses' always wanting to rule the world?
The amount of hubris one needed to go through with it never ceased to amaze Natasha. This week's version wanted revenge on the science community for calling him 'stupid' and 'crazy' over his theories on creating titan fauna and megaflora.
Someone, please shoot me.
If Nat had a dollar each time she heard some version of the 'Why I must hold the world hostage' speech, she'd be able to bribe Tony to let her control the music for mission trips.
Steve wished they would drop the speeches already. He just hoped Ife was almost done with the power cells so they could drop the charade and go home.
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"Now! Watch as I claim what's rightfully mine!" the mad scientist finally finished his speech by pressing the detonation button, but nothing happened.
" What's happening? Why isn't working?!"He pressed the button another three times to no effect, "Why aren't the missiles firing?!"
The mad scientist was about to radio his henchmen outside of the main chamber when he heard bullets pouring like rain outside the hangar followed by frantic shouts from his men.
"SOMEONE STOP HER!!"
"NOTHING'S WORKING!!"
"GET THE TANKS!!"
"FIRE AT WILL!!"
"WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE?!!"
"SHE'S AN ABOMINATION!!"
"What on Earth is going on out there?" He wondered as he carefully made his way to the entrance, only for a downright beastly roar frightening nearly everyone into silence.
"What the" A soft knock at the hangar doors broke his concentration.
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Ife was pissed.
She FINALLY had some decent food after not getting a chance to refuel after expending her energy reserves from her last mission, but it was barely a morsel. It took no time to devour all of the titan fauna the henchmen unleashed on her, unaware those were inferior albeit still tasty versions of food from her homeworld. She even found some yummy megaflora.
It was a bummer Ife was famished. She would've prepared them better to bring out their flavors.
Another tank shell bounced off of her.
When will these fools learn that this is pointless? Conventional Earth weapons are nothing to her. Well, at least the energy from their artillery aided with digestion. Also, the power cells were tasty; they had a refreshing tropical fruity taste with notes of mint.
Now the scientist refused to open up, even after she knocked, "Guess I'll have to let myself in."
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The scientist tried his best to steel himself, only for the two-meter thick air hangar doors and part of the solid stone walls to rip off like cheap wrapping paper.
His eyes almost bugged out of their sockets at the intruder — a tall woman — casually lifting both doors in one hand and a 250-ton tank in the other. The woman turned to two tied-up Avengers, smiled, and threw both items 1500 meters away with a flick of her wrists.
"Hi, Captain, Black Widow. How's it going?"
"Can't complain," Steve answered.
"Why haven't you escaped yet? It would've taken you two seconds to get out," Ife queried rubbing her growling tummy. Her telltale sign of hunger.
"We were waiting for you," Nat retorted while raising an eyebrow.
This will be fun.
"What happened to your comms link?"
"Well…I was preoccupied."
"With what?"
The woman's eyes brightened, "I found some yummy food not unlike Avlenia, but they barely did anything for me. I ate everything the goons unleashed and then some, but I'm still hungry! Which sucks cuz I wasn't able to properly prepare them-"
That can't be right.
That chamber housed hundreds of exotic beasts and flora with a combined weight of 312.5 THOUSAND TONS!! There was no way a single person could eat one of those behemoths, let alone all of them.
"MONSTER!!"
"Huh?" Ife finally noticed the scientist and his remaining goons.
"Do you have any more? I'm STARVING!"
"No one should eat one of those beasts, let alone all of them!"
Ife raised an annoyed eyebrow. "Maybe not possible for humans, but, "she strolled towards the scientist and started unzipping her combat suit, "that was only a snack for me, and it left me hungry for more."
The scientist cried out in horror when a belly 3x the size of an exercise ball surged forth.
How is she moving?! His eyes darted over to her comrades but found them lightly chuckling with the spy sporting a smirk.
"So, do you have any more food? Don't leave me in suspense."
The monster rolled her eyes at the rude man's silence, "So you still don't believe me. Okay. Let's see. One of the beasts was this large six-legged alligator…"
She started listing the various beasts and megaflora that were now digesting in her rapidly shrinking belly.
Galala Gator: 90 tons each, Ox Chicken: 15 tons each, Giant Turkey: 75 tons each, Volcano Weathercock: 10 tons each, Five-Tailed Giant Eagle: 45 tons each, Demon Devil Serpent:100 tons each, Elephantsaurus: 125 tons each, and so on.
Every 'food item' this monster blithely listed horrified everyone besides her teammates who were trying not to laugh. Each of these specimens took elite teams to capture; several men died in the process.
Yet this Eldritch Being glutted all of their hard-won gains as a 'pitiful snack'!
"How? How is this possible?" The devastated scientist barely choked out a whisper as her enormous belly was nearly flat.
Unfortunately, the monster's sharp ears heard the whisper, "All of those delicious beasts, flora, and the energy from the power cells barely made a dent! Tell me where you got this bounty! I'm Starving!"
As if to make her point, the monster turned her head towards the hole she made and let out a near-deafening roar of a belch demolishing what was left of the wall and pushing back all of the remaining men and tanks outside.
What is this monstrosity?!
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"Shit!" Not only did the wimp not answer Ife's question, but now he's slumped on the floor.
"He's out cold, Ife."
"I can see that, Nat. All I wanted was some more food!"
"Some?"
"Fine. But you know he didn't make them from scratch. He had to have gotten from somewhere."
Some of the stronger-nerved goons were able to recover from Ife's Roar, "Damn, that woman's scary!"
"Nah, man. She's a monster in human skin."
"Which is a shame, too. She's fucking hot!"
"I know, right?! Wouldn't mind going a few rounds with her."
Steve scowled as he marched up to six of the trash-talking goons inside one of the still intact tanks, ripped off the tank's hatch, and yanked four of them by their collars."I'm only gonna say this once. Never, and I mean never, say that crap about my team. Especially the 'abomination', got it?" his voice never rising above a calm, measured tone.
"Yes!"
Steve felt he needed to drive this home, "Yes, what?"
"Yes, Sir!"
"Good."
Nat rolled her eyes at Ife's bashful body posture at Steve defending her. They weren't fooling anyone.
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Ife was able to pick up the scent of more delectable beasts and flew off to satisfy her voracious appetite. The scent came from a fortified bunker not far from the main base. She ripped off the building by the foundation in her haste to fill her hunger void.
It led her to a heavily fortified manmade cavern with a huge portal at the opposite end of the entrance and containment units housing even more of the delectable beasts lining the sides.
She licked her lips in excitement but stopped when she got a good look at the animals. That craven of a scientist is lucky she's too hungry to revisit him.
"I should probably tell Nat and Steve."
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Nat peered into the last unlocked containment unit. She found a giant garden snake-like creature that seemed to take a liking to her. Its scales were the color of twilight at its height. She wondered if-
"You should name her."
Nat nearly swiveled her head, "What?"
"She likes you. You should name her."
"How can you tell?"
"I just know," Ife shrugged.
"Hmm. How about сумерки (Sumerki: twilight)?"
The snake affectionately rubbed her head against the reinforced glass containment wall.
"See? She loves it!"
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Sumerki was the last beast on this side of the portal and was about to pass through but turned and playfully poked Ife's midsection.
"You want me to come with you?" The snake nodded.
Ife turned back to Steve and Nat, "Umm, can I-" her stomach roared asking the question for her.
"It's alright, Ife. You can go, but don't be long." Steve rubbed his hand behind his head. Neither of them wanted to deal with a hangry Ife.
Ife flew into his warm embrace, "Thank you so much!" She kissed both his cheeks, "I promise to document everything I see!"
When will those lovable dorks admit they love each other?
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It wasn't long before Ife and Sumerki came back smiling and sporting enormous food bellies. Ife sped off before she could say anything. The next thing they heard was a five-minute sonic roar of a belch causing mini-tremors and cracks forming on the ground.
Sounds of her epic belch were heard 15km away.
They were glad that the scientist was stationed in the middle of nowhere.
Ife flew back into Steve's arms, "Thanks again!" Ife smiled as Steve returned the hug.
Both Natasha and Sumerki shook their heads wearing the same expression.
Ife pulled out her tablet and personal interface, "Okay, so my hunch was right and this place is incredibly vast. I was only able to explore .25% of the place."
Even Natasha was taken aback by the amount of information Ife had, "Just how big is this place?"
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"So this new 'realm' is called Guloxity?"
Fury turned the last page of Ife's extensive report. He had a laugh at her devouring over 300K tons of food and was still famished.
The whole team had a laugh riot. Tony even joked about how much he'd save on grocery bills—even though she provides most of her food. It's the least he could do since he blackmailed her into joining the team.
Thanks to her, SHIELD has access to a new realm. Plus the snake she and Natasha befriended has been a delight. However, he did wonder how Ife and her friends were able to create a habitat and a size modulator so quickly.
"Do you find the terms agreeable?" Aliza looked back at Fury's desk. The deal stipulates that any findings and all findings SHIELD makes involving the new realm must be free and open to the public. This means that all patents and research can not be owned by any single nation or corporation including Stark Industries.
Banner had consoled Stark when he read out the terms.
No matter. Fury had his best people on this new venture. Even managed to rope in Banner and Dr. Cho. Ife was able to recreate the unique energy signature from the mad scientist's power cells as a source of renewable energy.
In the end, he was glad it worked out.
Now what's this about Ife showcasing new dishes based on what she found in Guloxity?
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Taglist: @jobean12-blog @lookiamtrying @angrythingstarlight @gotnofucks @saiyanprincessswanie @navybrat817 @plaid-shirtsandvibranium-arms @idorkish @sgt-seabass
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silent-wolf · 5 months
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batfamily as disney princesses
wait so ive been thinking more about this post in particular on what the assigned disney princess is for each batfamily member and i need to u all to understand my thoughts rn 1. dick as ariel from the little mermaid:
can we agree on the fact that dick is the most likely to get eloped without giving a single hint? also the most likely to break out into a spontaneous song number. he's such a bubbly person and would be friends with anyone, INCLUDING A CRAB. 2. jason as tiana from princess and the frog: okay hear me out- we're so used to him being perceived as belle, but honestly they're not THAT similar personality wise. tiana is passionate, persistent and opinionated. if that doesn't scream jason i don't know what does. both of them would never change themselves for other people and i think thats so lovely. 3. tim as belle from beauty and the beast: im still on my tim as belle bullshit !! both of them are idealistic, loyal and slightly judgemental. honestly the way both of them managed to change people around them( i.e- bruce and the beast) to become better people, while not giving two fucks is pretty commendable LMFAO.
4. damian as snow white from snow white and the seven dwarfs:
DO YOU SEE MY VISION. imagine littol damian frolicking in a field as he sings to a bunch of deers and bluebirds. in my mind, he's just a gremlin with no thoughts but little critters running through his brain. he's so gentle with his pets and is extremely environmentally conscious.
5. cass as mulan from mulan:
there is literally no other option more fit for her. groomed from a young age to be something they're not, but then becoming badass warriors in their own right? like yesss girl bosses !! and both of them having issues with finding their own self that's not a reflection of what other's want and perceive them to be?? so compelling~
6. stephanie as rapunzel from tangled.
thats it. that's all you need. okay i'm joking but stephanie is so painfully rapunzel it HURTS. both escaping from a toxic environment to find enjoyment for life once again, and doing good for the world. i love them both to death. they're also my gf's
okay as for the rest i dont have any concrete reasoning but the vibes just m a t c h
6. duke as elsa from frozen- idk something about them is just so uncanny. i'd imagine trying to live upto the expectations of ur new family and the rest of the population would take a toll on you, which is basically the premise of frozen. and both of them are rlly pretty...
7. barbara as jasmine from aladdin- literally best girls icl. there is no logic behind this, but i think little barbara dreamed of being as cool as jasmine one day. BONUS: bruce wayne as cinderella.
anyways this is all just for fun and feel free to comment ur suggestions !!
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darkphoenix5037 · 10 months
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Hitta
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Welp here is another one. This will be OT7(focus on Namjoon coz he is my bias, but bonds will be formed with others too) with A/B/O dynamics, Vikings influences, with badass but slightly low-esteem oc, stray kids as her platonic family, battle, blood, revenge, game of thrones-esque plot, death and lots of sex.
It will be multi chaptered.
Please share your thoughts and let me know what you think.
P.S. The title means 'to find' in old norse.
SUMMARY- You never really thought that your destiny would take you so far away from home.
CHAPTER 1|CHAPTER-2
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It rains the day you lay eyes on your intended.
In the blood-stained field in front of the castle that you call your home stands him, Kim Namjoon, the biggest warlord the world had ever witnessed. His army consisted of thousands even millions, those savages, as the south would like to call them, were more powerful and disciplined than any army you had ever seen. Their troops were roguish in looks, yes, but their skill in battle was no joke.
Kim Namjoon’s skill in battle was no joke. He fought bare-chested with an axe and a sword; you had heard that he could cut down men with a single sweep of his sword. He was a true demon in battle, as most raiders were, but his skills put the best warriors in your homeland’s army to shame. His great heathen army slaughtered your king’s army by thousands every day, other than leaving hundreds of men injured.
You would know as the chief healer, stitching wounds, cauterizing them, applying salve to burns, cuts were fine. Holding the hands of dying soldiers as they hallucinated their mothers, lovers, wives and sisters was not, not even for someone like you who was used to blood, battle and death.
But you pushed on, for the king, for the country, for the people, you worked day and night you pushed on.
These days the workload had been increased as the king had no taken to treat the prisoners of war as well. The injured and the dying of the heathen army were brought to the camps to get medical assistance if possible and the injured ones were returned to their camps and the dead were returned to the opposing army with respect.
You were not thankful for the workload but what could you do, the king commands and the rest follow.
You were not thankful for the workload but you applauded your king’s nobility nonetheless. Your brother, Christopher Bang was nothing if not noble and kind and humble. Maybe that was why his army were ready to die and kill for him. Maybe it was because he thought of all as equal, be it the duke or the beggar’s son, Alpha, Omega or Beta everyone was equal in the eyes of your Alpha brother.
Maybe that was why you, an Omega, were working in an army camp filled with betas and alphas at all times of the night and day. Maybe that’s why you as an omega, could kill and maim as well as any alpha.
He was strong, your brother, but too kind, too truthful and too righteous for the world that he was in, younger than you but still on the throne for the gods gave him a cock and the second gender of an alpha and you a cunt and the curse of being an omega.
You weren’t brother and sister by blood, you were the orphan the previous king found on a hunting trip, half feral, in the jungle, at the age of seven.  You were brought to the castle, Christopher took one look at your small, slight frame, for he was a giant to you even at the age of five, and decided that you would be his noona. You took his hand and resolved to protect him forever. Nothing much was needed after that.
He deserved better though, you thought. Better than this wretched war and that godforsaken alpha Kim Namjoon who is intent on busting down the doors of your home.
Your name being called out draws you out of your mental reverie.
“Princess, the king calls for you at the front.” Ser Seo Changbin of your brother’s personal guard says.
You finish stitching the heathen soldier’s wound and apply salve and bandage before patting him roughly on the shoulder and getting up.
“What is it?”
“The king calls for you. He did not tell me the reason, your grace.”
You gesture ser Changbin to head the way as you follow him to the wall where your royal brother awaits you. He turns towards you as you come near.
“Leave us.” He commands.
“Is everything alright, my king?”
“Call me Chris, sister, how many do I have to repeat that?” he says.
“When we are alone, my king.”
He sighs, but motions to the battlefield, a far away look in his eyes as he looks down upon the ruin the battle has caused on the once green fields.
“We are not going to be able to defend ourselves for much longer if this goes on, sister, Kim Namjoon gets closer to defeating us every day. We cannot keep going for much longer.” He says. He sounds tired, too tired for someone his age.
“Why don’t you sit on the war council with me sister, we could use your skills?”
“You know why, you might not mind your omega sister, one of common blood at that running around with a sword in her hand, but others do. Alphas do, I would rather die than let anyone of them insult you again after what happened. You know better.” You spoke.
He sighed heavily.
You look at your younger brother, he looks as though the weight of the world sits on his shoulders. It does in some way, you think, this kingdom, as large as it is, it is your world.
His world.
He fights for it today, for its very existence.
Of course, the weight of this responsibility weighs him down. He is fighting, not only for his kingdom, but his world, his home.
“Is it time that we seek a truce with them?” You ask.
“We have no leverage; he knows he can defeat us. He needn’t sue for peace to ask for anything, he can take it, all of it.”
The sun has gone down, you see the enemy camp at a distance, its torches shine bright.
“Then we can only hope to reach stalemate, Chan-ah” You call him by the name your mother called him when she was alive and try to calm him down with your scent.
“I hope so”
He suddenly seizes you by the shoulders and says, “Stay near the battle field tomorrow, sister, I feel that tomorrow might be the day- “he stops, his hands trembling slightly.
“I need you by my side noona, I need you there, the troops need their lioness. I need you, We need you. It could be tomorrow that that godforsaken man would break down the doors of the castle. I don’t care about what happened five years ago on that wretched battlefield. I care about now, about today.”
You looked in the distance. Towards the enemy camp and remembered the amount of injured and dead on your hands, the heavy losses and the weeping mothers, fathers, daughters, sons and wives. You had to be there, if not for your sake then for the sake of your country.
“I will be there Chan-ah. Noona will watch over you. Ask my personal 300 to report.”
He takes you in his arms after that, keeping you in his embrace and you let your forehead rest on his broad chest. He holds you tight enough and breaths your scent in, as if you are the only thing keeping him grounded.
Nothing is said after that, as both of you silently carry the fear of tomorrow in your hearts.
…………………………….
The next day clouds gather in the sky as you don your armour.
You hadn’t stepped in the battle field not since the last war, not after what happened five years ago.
Blood.
All that you could see was blood, it stained everything in sight.
Your hand, your face, your armour, the field around you.
There was a strange ringing in your ears, you moved forward regardless, your axe cutting down everyone and everything that stood in front of you.
A voice called.
You knew that voice.
It was coming nearer.
The person was in front of you.
You swung the axe, but people were suddenly holding you back, you could not move.
The voice was closer, louder, shouting.
“Noona”
You gasped as if you had just broken the surface of the water in the lake and looked around.
You saw worried and slightly horrified looks. You saw your brother looking at you, scared and unsure.
In your daze, in your state of berserk, you had tried to kill your brother.
You hadn’t stepped in war since. You were afraid to lose control, afraid that you would kill your own men in that state.
Being a berserker was not easy, the warrior lost themselves in that state, all that mattered was killing, not injury, not pain, not fatigue, just death. You had been stabbed in the arm and calf that day but you had not stopped your killing spree regardless. The title of lioness bestowed upon you that day and your fame as a berserker had spread far and wide.
Stories were told about the omega berserker who had lost herself and battle and killed half a million people in a single day, who had won the war in a single day. No one had dared to attack your homeland after that, until now.
So, for the sake of the king, your brother, and your people you don the armour you had abandoned.
You sighed and headed to your horse, and followed your brother to the battlefield.
………………………………..
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tarjapearce · 7 months
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Hello everything is fine? I love your writings and the story of King Miguel, my God, perfect, now I can't get out of my head reader who is all cute and friendly but is also an exemplary warrior (she knows how to fight hand to hand, she knows how to handle a sword, against the will of her parents and security, she has been to a few wars to save the kingdom and has experience on a battlefield,
likes archery although she hates hunting just for violence, if it's for food she respects it if it's in a polite way) and besides that she knows a lot about politics, war strategy and forms safe alliances with another kingdom, as she was a daughter unique, she always thought of the people that her father cared for and loved so much with her mother and that someday would be hers, in the same way that her people love their reign, they love their future queen, that's why she started studying to become a queen as good as they were and not a little princess who needs saving,
However, her parents wanted her to marry Miguel to protect her and the kingdom to become stronger, reluctantly she got married (but in the end the two start to like each other😊😊😊) Miguel begins to realize that she is more strong than she imagines and that she also loves her people very much and will protect both kingdoms at all costs.
We also know that miguel allows warriors in his kingdom (like Gwen, jess or even mary jane lol why not??) can go to the battlefield, they can be free to do what they want (although Miguel has already made it clear that everyone is free of customs) and in the beginning even though their two kingdoms feel the tension that the two monarchs carry they know that the two would never endanger the kingdoms and their people love them as much as the two love him.
but .......
in the end, a good queen is the one who protects her people that she loves so much, and I think everyone knows that in a chess game, the queen is the one who protects the king 😎😎😎.
I know your lost ones are closed but it's just a thought I had and you don't need to write and sorry for the English I don't speak or write just Google helping me.
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I like to think what armor of hers that would be, she enjoys instilling fear in those who threaten and harm those she loves and protects (gods help those who bring her hatred)
Hello dear, and a bit bummed out by Cheems death, but 🫶🏻❤️. Thanks for asking.
She sounds sooo badass 👀❤️. Love that armor
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super-r-illustrations · 7 months
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Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
I just finished watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs--the classic, original, beautifully, AND first animated feature length film from Disney. Why? Because I wanted to watch what Disney used to be--good and classic. Everything about that film is simply beautiful. Aside from the animation, colors, music, songs, etc. I'm talking about the messages it sends out-- staying positive and hopeful during dark times, doing your best to make sure everyone--even the villain--is given a chance, and of course waiting for those who love you to take you home.
There are people out there who think Snow White is outdated, and perhaps slightly ditzy, but honestly? I think she's more relatable than you think. Think about it, the crazy Step-Mother Queen, made Snow White's life a living hell--she made her dress in rags, do lowly servant work, and of course tried to kill her. Snow White must have lived with a lot of abuse, mentally, emotionally, verbally, and possibly physically. The part where she's running through the forest with all of those scary faces? That was her PTSD taking hold of her, until she collapses and cries. She even admits the fact afterwards to the woodland creatures that she "made a fuss" because she was scared. Now, is that something a lot of us, who have OCD, anxiety, and panic attacks can relate to? Yet, somehow she still finds the strength and courage to be kind and compassionate to everyone. She still finds the strength to be hopeful, optimistic, and dare I say it--fair. She may not be a warrior, or a scientist, or an artist, or someone with magical powers--Snow White is a survivor! She was raised in a world of resentment and abuse, but somehow brought light to that darkness. It was her inner beauty that outshined her outer beauty--the quality that truly makes Snow White not only a true Princess, but a badass too!
As for the Prince? Well, I'm not trying to preach or anything, but I think the Prince represented Christ. Think for a minute, he found Snow White when she was "calling" or "wishing" for him to come, his presence frightened her for second but he was gentle and kind enough to make her see that there was nothing to be afraid of, and of course he raises her back from the dead. Need I say more? No, that doesn't mean that ANY first guy or girl you meet is your true love, you gotta get to KNOW them first!
The Seven Dwarfs? I think there is a handful of people out there who find this film offensive, because of it's portrayals of people who have dwarfism. Which, I don't understand, because each dwarf was lovable, relatable, treated Snow White like a lady, and let's face it, we were all rooting for them to beat the crap out of the Queen, after she killed Snow White. They're the heroes of the movie! You know the saying that a girl always has her knight in shining armor? Well Snow White found seven! Personally, I kinda wished Snow White and Grumpy got together, because he's the one that loved and cared about her the most! AND HE'S GRUMPY! No, I personally don't think that there's anything offensive about the Seven Dwarfs, they each carry human traits that we all experience--especially during home invasions.
Basically, what I'm trying to say is, Snow White is still relatable today, as are the rest of the original and classic Disney films. We don't need to recreate them, we need to learn and get creative inspiration from them! Forget the remakes! Go back to the originals, and find yourself in those stories. If you look really hard, you might even find God all of these films, after all He lives in you! He lives in the story makers and artists!
I'm done with my two cents! ;D
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marley-manson · 20 days
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K and U
Thank you!
K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?
Miiiight be Gabrielle from Xena. I wouldn't say best, there are some writing hiccups for sure, but I really love her arc from wannabe swordswoman to bard with a stick to pacifist to badass warrior but torn about it. It's very satisfying to me.
U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.
Ray Vecchio from Due South - I loooooove his extreme loyalty to Fraser, complaining all the while. Dude took an explosion for him and then crawled from his hospital bed to a shack in Canada whlie still wearing a neckbrace IN THE PILOT, and never shuts up about Fraser ruining his suits. I love his verbosity, the way he prioritizes people he loves before abstract philosophical concepts like duty and clashes with Fraser, I adore that he's haunted by his dad as well, love his family and relationships with them, and I will always love his complaining. I latched onto him hard back in my Due South phase and he's still my all time fave, and most of that has no reason, it's mostly to do with the age I watched the show.
Xena from Xena: Warrior Princess: She's a power fantasy that never disappoints. I search high and low for a successor and haven't found one. She was a ruthless legitimately evil warlord who was powerful enough to take over the known world in a canonical alternate reality, and that tracks. The action scenes aren't about wondering whether Xena's going to win a fight against 20 guards or some warlord or some god, it's about wondering exactly how fun it's gonna be to watch her kick their ass. She doesn't ever come up against a power too strong for her to go mano e mano with, she uses her wits a lot, but only when a fight won't solve the problem - and usually to maneuver things along so a fight will solve the problem. There was an episode where she was temporarily blinded and she was still never in physical danger lmao. Ares, the god of war, is, and I quote, "barely a match for her as a god," and when he's a human she usually needs to save his damseled ass. She only ever even exerts herself in fights against gods or occasionally other warrior women.
All that and she's hot and bi and in love with a hot blonde warrior bard.
Hawkeye from Mash - I'll be real here, he's a shoe in for fave. First, I'm a sucker for fun, confident bottoms, which is so close to canon for him that fandom usually doesn't even disappoint here (which is pretty rare lol). I never get sick of his reel of gay jokes, l've written essays about his gender expression and how it reflects on the politics of the show but it's also just incredibly fun to watch. And in addition to the fun stuff, he's also so wonderfully compassionate, thoughtful and politically aware, engaged with the horrors of the setting in a very satisfying way, emotionally expressive with some amazing dialogue and great jokes, and generally just a very well-drawn character excellently brought to life over eleven years.
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Sword gays showdown, round 2, bracket three
Propaganda:
For Lan Wangji:
Peak "while-you-were-being-heterosexual-I-studied-the-blade" energy. He canonically falls in love with & marries another man (the protagonist) who he sticks with and believes in the entire time, even wielding his sword against the elders of his cultivation Sect. He also wields a guqin (a large stringed Chinese instrument), but I think he uses Bichen, his sword, more often / as a primary weapon. 
For Amaya:
Badass super strong disabled lesbian general who can and will take you out. Doesn't need a sword to punch you into next week, but will use one anyway.
She’s married to another sword gay and she’s also disabled so I love her very much 
First deaf character I saw in any cartoon, she's very badass and protects her kingdom's border, later falls in love with an elf warrior princess she once fought. In the new season, they're planning their wedding while trying to navigate political tensions between the elf society and humans. Some of the elves aren't super into the idea of a human marrying one of them, which isn't for homophobic reasons but still (I believe) meant to mirror real world conservatives (really liked a scene with Janai's brother telling Amaya she's fine as a girlfriend for Janai but actually *marrying* her is too controversial and political. Whoever wrote this did a really good job).
She’s currently engaged to another lady, she uses a sword, is a general badass.
General Amaya is a standard sword lesbian with a cool shield and some funny "lines" example: "This bread is...." *bashes bread on table with no damage to the bread* "Weapons grade"
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h-harleybaby · 1 year
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Another stick of truth request because
Grand Wizard Cartman x Princess Reader Romantic Headcanons
But like. A girl boss princess??? She kicks ass. She'd kick my ass, she'd kick your ass,,
And cartman is just completely enhanced
- men kisser anon
Literally perfect I love it
Jen says Cartman would be mean and wouldn't let you be a princess but I don't care because it's cute
Grand Wizard Cartman x (badass) Princess reader
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• Honestly, Eric was really reluctant to have you as a princess at first because Kupa Keep already had princess Kenny but after Kenny literally begged Cartman to let you be a princess he finally agreed
• (Like in the other hcs) So you're Princess Kenny's sister, tbh you wanted to be a thief but Kenny wouldn't let you. Princess Kenny desperately wanted for someone else to be royal too to take some of the heat off her
• So you ended up being a warrior princess, much like your sister princess Kenny
• And because you're a princess, Cartman almost immediately said he would be the one protecting you rather than a knight (because he has a big ass crush on you which is a huge part of the reason why he kept bothering you to join them in roleplaying), honestly you didn't need it tho considering you had a battle axe
• If anything it slowly started becoming you protecting Cartman but he refuses to admit it
• Tbh he really just wants a reason to be around you/follow you around without seeming like he has a crush on you
• Anyways- no one even knows where the hell you got a battle axe but no one is questioning it, especially because you know how to use it REALLY well
• The first time you guys got ambushed you beat the elves asses before Cartman even got the chance to try doing a spell (cough hitting them with his staff a bunch of times cough)
• He probably takes any and all credit for any elven forces that were defeated but you don't mind, it gives you the element of surprise
• Honestly tho, Eric's probably a little scared of you. And ya know what? He should be
• You're probably some sort of cracked healer tho, and he makes you heal him all the time
• He refuses to let anyone else heal him and you can't for the life of you figure out why
• Hear me out, he made this a thing but your kisses heal him. He just really wanted to find excuses for him to get you to kiss his cheek
• Even when he's almost full health, he won't stop bothering you and taps his cheek until you kiss it. He's purposefully tripped or got punched so you can kiss him and he plays it off by saying your kisses are gross but he loves them and you know it
• Whenever y'all start dating, Cartman refuses to let it be known in game. He probably says it's so you don't get kidnapped but everyone knows you guys are dating
• He keeps trying to be sneaky and kiss you when he thinks no one's looking, but there's always someone
• You're the older one out of you and princess Kenny (by a couple of months) so that means you're technically next in line for queen or something, so ofc someone has to be watching you
• What's funny is that instead of you getting kidnapped, it was actually Eric who got kidnapped!
• He hated it and was cursing and yelling the whole time
• And he sulked the entire time you fought Kyle for him
• He was the one supposed to be saving you! Not the other way around... stupid Kyle and his stupid logic
• Of course you had Kyle beat tho, no one really expects you to be as strong as you are considering Eric for the most part uses you as his personal healer
• One time you and him were making out and Kenny came to check on you, poor Kenny. The princess was traumatized and had Eric yell at her to get out while you were laughing at her
• Another time, Kyle had sent Stan to go kidnap you so he could trade you for the stick of truth but that backfired
• It was a complete disaster
• Not only did Stan fail to get you, you beat him up AND Cartman teabagged Stan because he thought it was funny
• He then sent Butters to the elf kingdom to send a message more or less saying "suck my big fat hairy balls -the grand wizard AND the future queen of kupa keep <3"
• Tbh he probably wasn't the happiest that you signed it as the future queen of Kupa Keep but he couldn't argue with it since you technically were
• We know he's consistently lost the stick of truth and almost every time you would have to beat up on the elves while he tries stealing it back
• It never works out and you always have to heal him
I don’t think there’s any spelling mistakes but most of the time I was proof reading this and writing it I was half asleep
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navarice · 3 months
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Finished the first two episodes of Percy Jackson and oh my gods SO MANY THOUGHTS that I simply must share it all. First thoughts foremost is that the cast did wonderfully! CHB and the chosen trio make the world of PJO come alive and it's just chef's kiss. I can't wait for the next episodes to see what they will bring. WARNING: Spoilers under cut.
They changed up some stuff from the get-go, but the initial monologue survived!! Percy is not Percy without "Look, I didn't want to be a Half-Blood."
MAMA JACKSON IS A SLAYYY. "How do you know those who are heroes are heroes and those who are monsters are monsters." YES TY THIS IS WHAT MY FEMINISM NEEDED!!!
The Fruit of the Loom underpants on Mr. Minotaur from the mythomagic cards is an absolute serve.
Grover!!! Mr. Brunner!!! Mrs. Dodds!!! Nancy Bobofit!!!!
Uncle Rick I see you right there hehe.
SMELLY GABE OMG. Love how he's still just a pathetic loser. I can see why they scaled back on the abuse from the books.
Olivia Rodrigo??? Sally Jackson is THAT girl fr. Disgustingly real of her. I can see why Posideon was down real bad. My Spartan Princess Queen Warrior Mother shined when she schooled Gabe (basic white trash).
MONTAUK UGH PAIN. Early visions of Charon were also a great addition. The pacing of the show is really standing out but I really appreciate how they hit the important points.
SALLY DISTRACTING THE MINOTAUR WITH THE JACKET OH WOW SO BADASS!!! She is just as brave as her son and I loved the shift in narrative between the two.
ANNABETH WHOOP THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I ENVISIONED HER SAYING THAT LINE
oh...wow... it's camp....it's THE camp...my childhood...my cabins....the amphitheater...my home...
Mr. D is so different haha and tbh all I see is Pimiento from B99
Love the intense lore drop there Luke, it definitely leaves enough room for plot, exposition, and character arc.
Whoever the guy next to Luke is, he is my spirit animal
CLARISSE IS SOOO COOL I'M ON HER SIDE FOR WHATEVER SHE WANTS TO DO
PERCY LOVES HIS MAMA SO MUCH I LOVE THEIR BOND AAAAHHH. I also love the early hints of disliking the gods and percy's sense of duty
Forgot to mention Grover and his dryad mama?? caretaker?? whatever the case he is so cutie and baby. AND SUCH A GOOD FRIEND/PROTECTOR
Annabeth is Annabething for SURE
CAPTURE THE FLAG
PERCY DICKING AROUND PLSS IT"S SO HIM
these kids are so good at doing their own stunts love a good sword fight
"I'm sorry" *pushes you in the water* (loved the satisfied look on Annabeth's face bc she sure as hell knew what she was doing, and her hunch was right!!!)
"I'm the son of Sally Jackson" YES YOU ARE BABY BOYY. Amazing callback to the story of Perseus and Danae, once again calling back to the bond between mother and son rather than the hero himself.
Percy's character is cemented early, this boy is motivated only by his family and friends, not the gods themselves, absolutely made the magic WORK.
Next episode prophecy???
Overall, this is the adaptation we've all been waiting for. I've never experienced happiness more. Season 2 release when?? HOO adaptation when??? Pls give the whole 9 yards and more
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kookies2000 · 11 months
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Trailer for Kung Fu Panda 4 was released at a private convention, I believe. Po is looking for a successor to The Dragon Warrior name, and the villain will be a chameleon sorceress. I don't mind the concept. Po training and finding a Dragon Warrior successor will be like when Oogway picked him and Shifu trained him. So it's a nice concept. But people are already upset that the villain is a woman and the new successor might be a girl. How this film will overly push the feamle agenda. These people are completely ignoring Tigress, aren't they?
Tigress is a better female character than a majority of other films that wrote female characters. Not just animated films, films in general.
Types of female stereotypes in Hollywood,
The famous damsel in distress. Usually, these girls are princesses or made hopelessly weak and need someone to rescue them. It can work if written right. Like in Tangled where Flynn ran back to the tower to check if Rapunzel was ok. But he didn't do all the work. Rupunzle added in her part of the work, too. She saved Flynn as well.
Romance involved? Man stealers, love triangles, insecurities about appearance, etc. The cliché, remove glasses and straight hair to be beautiful move. I can't really think of a female character where this is good. It's just setting toxic beauty standers.
Sexualize everything about the female character. Make her small, and give her a noticeable chest, hips, and long eyelashes. Nothing wrong with being feminine but when it's overly done, it's kinda annoying. Epically if it's done to every female character you create. Maybe one or two, like, I have no issue with Roug from Sonic, but that's because we have other female characters who aren't sexualized. And Roug has a personality that doesn't always rely on her seductive looks. She is a badass treasure hunter and a partner in crime/best friend/I ship it fight me, with Shadow.
Obsessed with love and finding true love. Frozen was great because it tackled this cliché. Love obsessed Anna learned a mistake many females should've learned in past films.
Mother and caretaker. This works but not if that's 100% her only character trait. I can only see this in side characters like mothers or nannies. And who says men can't be in this role?
Brat or Queen Bee. I usually enjoy these girls if they have redemption like Pacifica in Gravity Falls. Or even Regina in Mean Girls.
The prize. Self-explanatory, she's the one the hero fights to gain in the end. Which is tackled in Mulan. All the men want a girl worth fighting for, only to realize war isn't about impressing women. It's about fighting for everyone, including little girls like the girl who the doll belonged to.
The clumsy one and that's her only flaw.
And of course, not like other girls. The best example I can think of now is the Bad Cinderella Broadway show that came out recently. Making Cinderella say she doesn't dress like others and yet 90% of the ensembles dress just like her. Not like other girls can work if you don't shove it in the audience face all the time.
And now, just try, TRY to put Tigress in any of these. She isn't a damsel in distress. Damsels in distress are always captured and rely on someone to rescue them. And sometimes, like 90% of the time, the one who captures her will be seductive toward her. Tigress was never placed in that position at all. The closest she got to that role was in the 2nd film. When Shen captured the Furious Five. And I just want to say this, does anyone else get uncomfortable or at least feel icky when Shen whispers "beautiful" in Tigress's ear? I know it isn't sexual but just the thought of someone getting that close makes me uncomfortable. Anyways! Po didn't need to rescue them exactly. He just threw them a weapon and boom! They were set free and ready to fight. And anytime she is in trouble, it's a teamwork situation. Tai Lung tried to choke her, but Viper held him off while Crane helped Tigress.
Romance? 90% of films have female characters who want true love or something related. Not here. There's no romance anywhere. You can say she and Po have something blossoming, which I'm 100% on board with!!! SHIP!!! But I do love how she wasn't created for the purpose of being Po's love interest. It's kinda rare for a female character to have zero romance in her story. And when they do have it, it's always your typical love at first sight situation. Which I understand if it's a single film. But in this case, I hope they do become canon because of the way it's developing through multiple films. I can't really think of any film that establishes a deep friendship before making it romantic. I can say Trolls did since Poppy and Branch don't become a couple until the 2nd film. And their "I love you" in the first film is a platonic one.
She is also far from being sexy. She is motherly and like a big sister to her team, but that isn't her only trait. She's not a mean girl or brat. And she never points out that she isn't like other girls. Like in Super Hero films, every female hero always mentions they are a woman or complain about men. Heck, none of the films even mentions her gender.
You know that scene in Mulan where she reveals herself to the villain and the villain says "warrior" instead of mentioning her gender like every other man in the film? You know that feeling we got of how much respect a villain showed towards a woman? That's what I get in all three Kung Fu Panda films. How easy was it for Dreamworks to go the Mulan route? IN ANCIENT CHINA!!! They could've made her arch about being the only female warrior. And how she wanted the title of Dragon Warrior to prove that a woman can be a warrior. But no, she isn't the only female warrior, and she wanted the title to make Shifu proud. Heck, Shifu WANTED Tigress to be The Dragon Warrior!!! He adopted her, he trained her, he was her father figuer, he shaped her into who she is. He and Oogway never looked down at her for being a girl. They could've given her an arch about how Shifu treats his daughter (Tigress) and son (Tai Lung) differently. Same treatment for Viper. Shifu accepted Viper with open arms.
How easy could it have been for the villains to treat Tigress differently? They could've been sexist towards her, and we would excuse it as villain behavior. But no!!! Tai Lung fights her like a warrior. He doesn't tease her about being a woman. He doesn't hold back. He tries to murder her on the bridge fight. Shen kills on sight. He doesn't care about her gender. Kai has his "little kitten" line. How easy was it for the writers to make that a sexist line? Instead, they make it a simple taunting line. The villains see her as an enemy. Her teammates see her as their friend and leader. Po admires her. The village sees her their protector. Shifu and Oogway see her as the top student/daughter. And DreamWorks treats her like any other character. The company isn't constantly shining a spotlight on her and calling attention to how great they are at making female characters. She is a Chinese lady who is treated just like everyone else in all three films. Which is pretty rare since the first one came out at 2008. A time when children films put a lot of attention on their female characters being female and advertise the hey out of it. I would say Moana was close, but Maui always pointed out that she's a princess. Go-go from Big Hero Six was SUPER close. Then she had her woman up line. There is nothing wrong with it, the film is great and so is Go-go. But I can't ignore that line that brought attention to her being a woman. I think Mirabel is one of the best female characters as well. Same level as Tigress since Mirabel is treated just like everyone else without her gender ever being in the spot light or falling in any cliché female role.
In conclusion! If there's any franchise I fully trust with women's representation, it's Kung Fu Panda. So, who cares if the villain is a woman? Who gives a care that the next Dragon Warrior might be a girl? Kung Fu Panda treated their female characters just like any other characters. It's almost as if sexism doesn't exist in the Kung Fu Panda universe......... Also, Encanto. I trust Encanto as much as I trust Kung Fu Panda.
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thisismisogynoir · 10 months
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I saw you reblog something little mermaid related and im just gonna go off here: what are your thoughts on the original Disney little mermaid? Not the live action cause I haven’t seen that one yet
Oh I haven’t seen it yet either lol.
But I love the original! I think it gets a bad rap because people love to dunk on Ariel in the name of “feminism” when that couldn’t be further from the truth. To them, she at least has more agency than the older more classical princesses but is still not as revolutionary as the newer princesses because she’s not a tomboy, or because she doesn’t fight, or because her man had to save her at the end(ignoring the fact that she was the one to save him first…she was the first Disney Princess to save her man, he’s simply returning the favor).
And say the movie is sexist for reasons it’s not, while ignoring the actual things that the movie could have done better(more female characters with lines that aren’t antagonists, for one, why didn’t Ariel’s sisters get more spotlight and focus?). When people say things like “Ariel gave up her voice for a man!” “Ariel was selfish/immature/naïve/stupid” “Ariel should have magically known that Eric was looking for the woman who saved him from the shipwreck and told him in writing”(do mermaids and humans even write in the same language? It doesn’t matter to these people, what matters is hating on Ariel) “the movie is sexist because it teaches that men only like women who keep their mouths shut!”(oh please), I just roll my eyes and move on with my life!
Ariel isn’t perfect, that I won’t deny, but she’s always been an awesome and badass character with agency and relatability, just because she’s not a stone-cold warrior princess does not make her a weak character. People really need to watch the movie before they open their mouths and talk smack about it. I do hope that the remake shows people just how lovely Ariel is and helps them to see that they were wrong. Oh, and maybe give the sisters some more spotlight lol. 😅 Maybe then they’ll eat their words.
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