#Yes im a full time student yes I read several books a day

[iloveparkjonggun]

Lookism men x wife!reader

characters included; Gun, Goo and Jake. reader is fem, nicknames(dear, sweetkins, princess etc) , characters are aged up, SFW, fluff fluff AND fluff.

A/N: after finishing lookism, i couldn't stay silent any longer, i HAD to write for them despite literally having no idea how to, i suppose that this is the first time i'm writing something properly, haha. Anyways, have fun reading <3

_____ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚_______

. . . . . ╰──╮Park JongGun╭──╯ . . . . .

Gun aged like a fine wine, you must admit. The day you laid your eyes on him for the first time ever still replayed in your mind, although you wouldn't really admit it. Witnessing with a new student while you were just chasing around your cat was the least thing you expected, and that attidute of his, you didn't expect that either. You were 16 at that time, young and full of life. Life was dready sometimes, that's a fact that no one could never get rid of including you, but who cares? We're here to have fun, and that's how you lived your life. When you gave Gun a slight smile along with a wave for the first time, he just replied with a single glance and turned away. He was odd, you thought. You were familiar with the most of the students in your school, and since he was a new face, you just wanted to greet him kindly. And how did that thug react? Exactly.

That's when that guy, who's name you learned later sucesfully inserted himself in the bad side of you, you could easily tell that he was a delinquent from the way you looked, but still you can't judge a book by its cover, but including that attitude with that presence? yeah, he definetely was a delinquent.

You just had no idea how the time melted so quick, the guy who used to be nothing but a delinquent in your eyes years ago was now behind you, arms roaming around your waist, stroking you as if you were a sculpture while you were just trying to cook dinner. ''Dear,'' you call out, a smile unconsciously appearing in your lips. ''Go take a shower first, you must be tired after work.''

He almost purrs while nibbling on the side of your neck, ''I am. So let me reduce my exhaustion.'' You could feel him inhaling your scent, lips contacting with your skin, leaving several soft kisses which caused you to giggle slightly. ''Alright, enough. Go shower, dinner's almost ready.'' You turn your head, leaning closer to him. knowing what you were up to, he moves his face to the side, his cheek waiting to feel your lips on it. Expecting to greet with his cheek, you greet with his lips instead, tasting the cigaratte at the same time. Damn it, you think. You fell for this move again. The chuckles coming from him while he makes his way to the bathroom only increases the heat of your cheeks. With a sigh, you continue to cook, a smile on your face.

. . . . . ╰──╮Goo Kim ╭──╯ . . . . .

''Princess!~'' cooed Goo, grinning with his full teeth, seeming utterly excited on whatever he was about to show you. ''Guess what just happened.''

''What?'' You answer, pair of eyes still glued to your phone, which instantly goes noticed by your husband. A frown already on his face, he leans his head to your phone, blocking you from the view of your phone. ''Look at me, not at the phone.'' He narrows his eyes and gives you that pout. You put your phone aside, now your full attention on your needy husband. Resting his head on your lap, he gives you a cheeky smile.

''Guess what day tomorrow is!''

''September 11th?'' You ask, one eyebrow slightly raising as you played dumb.

''Yes it is but, that wasn't the answer i was looking for.'' His lips quivers, before he tilts his head ''Don't tell me that you forgot, Y/N~'' He whines, which was when you decide that it was the time to drop the mask. A chuckle could be heard from you as you gaze down at him.

"Silly. what do you think that i was searching at my phone?''

''Wha- hey, you're just trying to change the topic now!''

''No im not, dumbass. I was searching for places to spend your anniversary.''

''Stop trying to change the to- Oh.'' Hearing those words causes the pout replace with a smile which easily reached his ears. ''Aww, sweetkins!'' In a blink of an eye, Goo was now straddling your lap, throwing his arms around your neck while he buried your head on his chest, rubbing your head on his chest as he hugged you. ''I knew that you didn't forget about it!''

'' 'Course i didn't forget, how could i- Goo get the hell away from me i cant breathe.''

''Oh.'' From his facial expression you clarify that he forgot how heavy and muscular he was for a moment. Now, you were the one on top of him, sitting on his laps as he hugged you, grinning up at you through your chest. ''Better now?''Your hand extends to his blond hand on its own as you smile back. ''Better.''

. . . . . ╰──╮ Jake Kim ╭──╯ . . . . .

You were gazing at the big deal street with your husband, head resting on his shoulder, his hand slowly stroking your waist, keeping you close as the cheerful talks of the people mixed with each other on the background while you both enjoyed each other's company in silence ''How odd.'' You break the silence first, recalling memories. ''Years passed, yet, this street still looks the same.'' Glancing up towards Jake, your smile widened at the sight of the smile displaying on your beloved's lips.

His irises' attention was now on you instead of the street as he smirked. ''How odd.'' He repeated your sentence, ''Years passed, yet, you're still beautiful as you were before.'' lips slightly parting away, you couldn't even reply to that sudden compliment, but your face sure did, which earned a loud laugh from your husband as he brought you closer, while you frowned, eyes on your shoes, attempting to hide your red cheeks despite already being aware that it wouldn't work.

''Damn you romancist.''

#lookism #gun park #park jonggun #kim joongoo #goo kim #jake kim #jake kim x reader #gun park x reader #park jonggun x reader #kim joongoo x reader #goo kim x reader #i feel like i made jakes part too short tbh.. #sorry loves </3 #lookism fic #let me know your guys opinion #negative or positive. doesnt matter #i might continue writing for them but eehh~

[how-evergreen]

The Worst Professor/The Best Girlfriend

Summary: Finals are coming up, and you're running yourself down to avoid the proverbial foot aimed right at your ass. Luckily, your best friend and your girlfriend step in just in time.

A/N: this might be my favorite one ive written so far! im thinking of making a part two - would anyone be interested in that? thanks for the request, @themagnificentmx! this was definitely a fun one to write.

Warnings: Cursing, school-related stress, exhaustion, and as is typical of me, lots of fluff.

"You sure you don't need anything before I go?" Sam asked, looking down at you with worried eyes. You shook your head, forcing a smile.

"All set," you said, pushing him lightly. "Go. Have fun with your TA or whoever."

"She's not my TA, she's my tutor," Sam muttered. "And I will. We're going to that Italian place just off campus."

"The good one or the bad one?"

"Good one." Sam grinned. "I'm not an idiot, I know how to treat a lady."

"Sure thing." You rolled your eyes, focusing back on your textbooks. "Go get 'em, Falcon."

You heard Sam snort at the old nickname originating from his drunken leap off the roof of the Alpha Kappa Phi fraternity house. 

"I'll bring you leftovers?" he offered. 

"I'm good." You glanced at Sam, who was looking at you dubiously. "Dude. I'm fine. Go, you're gonna be late for Brittany."

"Samantha."

"Sam and Samantha?"

"Okay, I'm leaving you now."

"Finally." You laughed as Sam flipped you off over his shoulder. "See you in biochem!"

Sam said nothing, only walking out of the library. You allowed yourself a brief moment to watch him go before turning back to your books, shaking your head.

It was probably eight in the evening, and you'd been in the library since six that morning – just as you had been for the past several days. Finals were fast approaching, and your sadistic Stats professor had even assigned a pre-finals test for the next day that would be worth ten percent of your grade. He'd announced it at the previous class two days ago, leaving you hardly any time to study. Fucker.

The stress was definitely weighing down on you as you attempted to read the textbook on the table. Unfortunately, your body was working against you, vision blurring as the words began to swim.

Frustrated, you dropped your head onto the textbook.

"Fuck," you groaned, before picking your head up quickly to make sure you hadn't disturbed anyone. Luckily, there were no students in your immediate vicinity, and the ones you could see seemed to still be focused. 

"Back to it," you whispered, squinting down at the textbook again. This time, the words remained steady, and though you had to reread the same sentence twice in order for your brain to properly process what it said, you managed to keep going.

After another forty-odd years of trying to finish the same page, you saw someone approaching out of your peripheral vision. When you were able to make out who it was, you felt something inside you grow lighter.

Natasha's hair, pulled back into a neat bun, and the leotard visible beneath her unzipped jacket and jeans both indicated that she had come straight from dance class. She smiled at you as she approached, though it slipped a bit as she met your eyes.

"Nat." You grinned up at her, holding your arms out for a hug. "I missed you."

"You too." Nat pursed her lips but leaned down to hug you regardless, kissing your cheek before taking the seat beside you. "Sam texted me."

"Oh. Oh! Shit." You frowned. "Violation of trust."

"He said you've practically been living here for a week." Despite your relationship still being fairly new, you could see that beneath Natasha's irritated exterior was a whole lot of worry. "Something about a Calculus professor from hell?"

"Stats," you corrected absently. "Pre-finals quiz. He told us Monday, and it's happening tomorrow. Worth ten percent of our grade."

"Pre-finals... what?" Nat's eyebrow twitched. "I see what the 'from hell' part meant."

You puffed out an exhausted sigh. "Yeah."

"So you've spent all day every day in here?" Nat asked, gazing over the notebooks and textbooks scattered across the table.

"Well, no. I went to my classes. And to my dorm when the library closed."

"When's the last time you ate?" Nat asked suspiciously.

"Lunch. Sam brought me the grilled cheese from the cafeteria and a bottle of water."

"Oh." Natasha looked faintly surprised. "Good. And you've slept?"

You didn't say anything to that, looking away. 

"Hey." You felt fingers softly grasp your chin, turning your head to face Natasha. She examined you, eyes soft. "When's the last time you slept? And I mean actually slept, not passed out for an hour."

You sighed, glancing away. "Sunday night."

"Jesus," Nat hissed, letting go of your hand to rub your leg soothingly. "How are you even functioning?"

"Autopilot," you said, shrugging and turning back to your textbook. "I'm okay. Just gotta finish this chapter before the library closes."

"Uh, no." A hand dropped onto the pages, blocking your view and forcing you to look at Natasha. "You're not gonna wear yourself down any more than you already have."

"But the test is tomorrow, and I'm still a little shaky on –"

"No more studying," Nat said gently. "At least for a while. What time is your test tomorrow?"

"Three," you muttered.

"And is this the only concept you're still uncertain about?" You could practically see the gears turning in Natasha's head.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Perfect." She closed the textbook softly. "You're going to take the night off. We're gonna go back to my apartment and order Chinese food and watch that show you like, the one with that one guy, and then we're going to get a full night's sleep."

"But –" you protested.

"And then," Nat said over you, "tomorrow morning, I'm gonna make you breakfast, and you're gonna read this chapter with a fresh mind. Then I'm going to quiz you on the stuff you feel least certain about, and then you're gonna go to your Stats class and ace that quiz. And I'm gonna murder your professor. Does that sound good?"

You laughed a little despite yourself. "Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good."

"Good." Natasha kissed your forehead as she stood, collecting your notebook. "Oh, and you should probably tell Sam that you're coming with me. The guy worries."

You grinned, standing up and helping her collect your stuff. "He does. How did I get so lucky to have both the best best friend and the best girlfriend?"

Natasha glanced up at you for a moment before looking away, face going pink. 

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm amazing." She grinned, sliding the notebooks into your backpack and handing it over. "Come on. Let's get you home."

"Yes, ma'am." You saluted her, reveling in her laughter as you walked together into the night.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

He did? Umm.. what happened exactly?

(referring to this post)

my 11th grade chemistry teacher had an associates degree in liberal arts.

you know how in virtually every class you’ve ever had since middle school, your teachers made a big stink about the syllabus? she didn’t have one. this was her first teaching job, which she got because of her length experience as a substitute, not by her licensing qualifications. we were, at first, excited to have her, because she was a “fun sub” and we were 17 years old and stupid as all shit. we were the “normal chem” class in a system where the only other options were “honors chem” which was filled with children who actually know how to study (or cheat) and have an air of proper student activity, and “AP Chem”, which is clear enough if you’ve been an american student in the last 15 years.

she followed the mcgraw hill chemistry book in order of chapters, despite the fact that our state standardized tests did several of the chapters out of order. ever notice how you’ll suddenly be looking at chapter 11 when just last week you were on chapter 5, then the next week you’re on chapter 8? standardized testing is the reason. anyways by asking my friends in other classes who had chemistry teachers of relative competence, i was able to discern which chapters i should focus on, and while she was distracted with literally watching youtube videos all period, I was turning around in my seat and walking across the classroom helping my friends and enemies with the packets. (she was a two-packets-a-week kinda teacher.)

yes i said enemies too. the people i hated, i hated because they were sons of bitches i wouldnt piss on to put out a fire. i hated them so dearly i used to pray to god that they would bump into me so i could throw myself into the concrete and split my forehead open and get them expelled due to the blood-clause of our “zero-tolerance policy”. two of the kids in my class had, only the previous year, attempted to set my hair on fire.

i hated the teacher more. 

it gave me extreme pleasure to see her fume and clench her fists when a student would say “i need help” across the classroom and she would move to get up and they would say “oh not you miss, im waiting for vicky.” jesus christ the only time ive ever felt a comparable high was when i was at a halloween party in college where i was literally so zooted i couldn’t move.

it got worse over time, her getting more and more angry, my ego growing larger and larger. i was a huge bitch in high school, i really thought i was the smartest bitch in the room at any given moment. severe main character syndrome. imagine that kind of person actually being right for 45 minutes out of every day. can you even comprehend the kind of frustration that would create? in a room full of little sociopaths who dont give a shit about anything but getting this joke of a class over with so they can graduate? your first real teaching job and they look right past you, the teacher, to this annoying little shit whose grades are completely abysmal? how are they managing to learn anything from a child who can barely speak in front of more than 10 people? who turns cherry red in the face of literally every authority figure in the building except you? who can’t concentrate and stay still in one spot for more than five minutes? all of your other classes behave! they listen! they sit down and shut up and do the packets! so what fucking gives!!!

so you say “fine, since you all HATE ME so much i just won’t teach then!!!” on literally week fucking ten of teaching. and instead of prostrating themselves before you, begging you to like... point at transparencies and read directly from powerpoints i guess.

and they all collectively say “okay” and let the chipmunk child flutter between desks and help them memorize formulas and mnemonic devices and shit. surely her grades will suffer if she’s constantly dealing with other people and you’ll have justification that her horseshit is “distracting” and “a detriment to her studies”. she got bored gave up on that after two days after nothing changed.

then we did the midterm.

except at the end of the exam packet was something we never learned because again, she was going through the book chronologically. because i actually enjoyed the chem book (so much that i stole it when the year was up lmao), i knew the material.

it was about lewis dots/structures. i couldn’t tell you a damn thing about it today but in december 2010 i absolutely knew that shit. i didnt have too much of a problem with it in the exam, but the students who had gotten to that point were complaining and at first she pulled that “you should have been studying independently uwu” shit but the class was about to get loud during exam period so she shushed us and said that when we get to that point, just stop, and she’ll mark it correct during grading, no harm no foul just keep it quiet. one of the more confrontational students called horseshit and said theres no way we’re trusting that and there’s definitely no way anyone will keep an entire classroom cheating at the instruction of the teacher quiet.

i offered to teach it.

she scoffed, rolled eyes, said “sure fine but you can’t get your exam back” and i said “okay.” so when everyone was to the point in the exam, we piled them all on her desk and i used the whiteboard to briefly and quietly explain lewis dots, used the book examples and problems, and helped the other kids understand. there were a couple exam questions that were lifted straight from the book problems so i skipped those. while teaching i realized i had gotten a couple wrong which sucked :( it was an incredibly stupid experience overall, and no teacher worth the paper their certification is printed on would have allowed that to happen. and fucking yet.

anyways everyone but me got their exams back and finished it and many of us passed, only a few of them did particularly well.

discussing the chem exam with friends who also took the chem exam, many students found their anecdote about the lewis dots to be confounding, for you see, the exam we took was not, in fact, the midterm, but the god damned final.

she had us taking the fucking final because she didnt read the fucking folders which read “midterm” and “final exam” on them

she was reprimanded severely and we all had to take the exam on different days, in different classrooms, sitting very far apart. after that she hated me even more. like girl it was your fault lmao i am literally a teenager grow up lol. anyways you can imagine how much more fucking insufferable i became, knowing how miserable she was.

it all came to a head in february when some students were giggling quietly following a minor fuck up on her part regarding bellwork. they were making fun of her like “are you sure thats not tomorrows bellwork lol” and a friend next to me did the “hey i need help wait no miss not you sorry” thing and when i answered him, she solidly snapped. blah blah YOURE SOOOO DISTRACTING blah blah YOU THINK YOURE SOOOO SMART DONT YOU blah blah blah and she was like demanding i leave the room and shouting at the top of her lungs at me “ YOU POISON THE MINDS OF EVERY OTHER STUDENT HERE. YOU’RE POISONOUS VICTORIA, YOU’RE A VIRUS IN THIS CLASSROOM.”

i will never forget that line as long as i live. it was like crack to me. i moved to open the door to leave and the vp opened it first. he escorted me to the office and asked me what happened, then told me to keep my head down in class from now on, and that if i wanted to help my friends i should give them my number and help them out on our own time. i was like “bro thats really stupid” and he was like “thats all we can do right now but i promise we’re working on it”

i lasted the rest of the year giving smug smiles as we did packet after fucking packet for the rest of the year. they were all take-home work. i wasnt comfy giving my number to my enemies. the class camaraderie ended.

the final was altered. my class took a different final than the rest of the normal chem classes.

i started 12th grade and got a solid case of senioritis. i told that story to anyone who would listen. while it was happening, i obviously told my favorite teacher everything as it happened. when i mentioned it senior year he was like “oh yeah i forgot about her,

she was fired over the summer.”

#let me tell you bitch i SCREAMED...... #anyways im not sorry this was long #its literally the only cool thing thats ever happened to or about me so shrugs #Anonymous

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

your tags on my post slapped me across the face. yes fucking yes. the fall from academic grace hits a whole lot harder when you've been excessively built up and built up for years and then come crashing down. i constantly feel like im letting everyone and younger self down. the whole thing about IDENTITY is so true too! x adhd-vibes

Well, your post came into my house and punched me in the gut, so...

But no, I really genuinely appreciate posts talking about the gifted child + neurodivergence duality because it’s... a lot. And I feel like I’m only just starting to understand-- well, my entire life, basically. 

My entire life past the age of ~13 has been a constant up and down of thriving and burnout, a lot of self loathing and doubt over my perceived failure, and a lot of depression and anxiety. And I just found out last year that a fair portion of it can likely be chalked up to the fact that I’ve had ADHD my entire life, my parents found out when I was four years old, and no one told me. 

I started kindergarten at four. I was already reading chapter books. I’d finish reading the assignments before the teacher even finished handing them out, and be up and causing distractions because I was bored. They talked about bumping me to second grade, but I was already the youngest in my class and they didn’t want to create more of an age gap. 

I did first grade half in English, half in Japanese to keep me “challenged”. The Japanese teacher hated that I was so young, and after a while refused to teach me. 

My second grade teacher made a rule that I could sit any way I liked, or move around however I wanted, so long as I could touch my desk. 

My third grade teacher set up a play area for students who finished their work early, and I spent most of my time there. 

My fourth grade teacher recommended fantasy novels and read to us during downtime. 

My fifth grade teacher helped me and my friends start a writing club, and she’d read our short stories and give us notes so we could work on our drafts when we were done with our schoolwork. 

And then sixth grade and algebra happened and I could not for the life of me do the assignments well. I worked with friends in a study group. I had three different math teachers try to help me, in case one clicked differently. They’d watch me do the work, step by step, and one of two things would happen: 

1. Either I’d do the work perfectly, but the answer was entirely wrong and they couldn’t figure out why 

or

2. I’d do the work all wrong, but get the right answer every time. 

But since you had to show your work for full credit, I went from a straight A student to mostly A’s and a C in math, no matter what I did. 

My self esteem tanked. Most of my memories from middle school are of sitting alone at the dining room table sobbing because I felt stupid, and like a failure, and I just wanted to die, and sitting at a table focusing on only one thing with no background noise or stimulation was torture in and of itself. I finally got my mom to let me listen to the radio while I worked, and it helped a little, but night after night I’d sit there, sob through my math homework, and wish to disappear. 

All of the self-loathing and stress manifested into extreme anxiety. I started washing my hands constantly, because that I could control. My hands cracked and bled. I kept washing. 

I started self harming, and my mom found out and took me to see a therapist (who is still my therapist to this day), and I was diagnosed with OCD and Major Depressive Disorder, as well as Seasonal Affective Disorder.

By the time high school started, the handwashing had mostly stopped but still flared up again occasionally, and I was on track to graduate with highest honors following the “College Prep Honors” curriculum track. I made the National Honor Society, and did student government as well as zero hour choir and drama. I took Honors English and excelled. 

But to complete the degree, I’d have to take Algebra I freshman year, Algebra II Honors sophomore year, Algebra III/Trig junior year, and Calculus senior year. 

I got a C in Algebra I. I lost my National Honor Society status because of the GPA drop. I quit student government because I was ashamed. 

I was told to drop Algebra II Honors two weeks in, because I was going to fail the class. This meant I would not get the diploma I wanted, but the secondary “College Prep” diploma. 

I fell into a deep depression, decided I was stupid, and stopped trying. My report cards after that for the rest of high school were an assortment of A’s, B’s, C’s, even a D or two. I hated myself for not living up to my potential, for being a disappointment to my parents, for being so stupid. 

I went back to therapy. I graduated high school. I went to college. I burnt out. 

I took a gap year because I was suicidal and didn’t know what to do. I went back to therapy. 

I transferred to a university. I burnt out. I dropped out, because I was suicidal and didn’t know what to do. I went back to therapy. 

And when I was 27 years old, I found a box of old school stuff from elementary school, and as my mom and I laughed about it she told me that an administrator who specialized in identifying attention deficit disorders had observed me in kindergarten at the request of my teacher because I was causing distractions, told them that he was entirely certain I had what was at the time called ADD... and not to have me officially diagnosed in order to keep it out of my school record and avoid any “challenges to my desired educational path”.  

Teachers were told, and chosen specifically to work with me and not against me, which I appreciate greatly. 

I was never told. 

On the one hand, I can see how my parents just didn’t want me to go through life believing I had something “wrong” with me, didn’t want me to be held back from pursuing any classes I wanted to take because of my “diagnosis”, and didn’t want me to be “unnecessarily medicated”. I appreciate the time and care that went into trying to guide me along and give me safe environments to be my authentic self without being told it was a hindrance or a “problem”. 

But the more I learn the more I can’t help but wish someone had told me. 

Because I spent the last 16 years of my life thinking that somewhere along the way I had “lost” something, or “failed”, and really it was a pretty predictable and manageable sequence of events. 

I’ve since learned that a lot of the things I’ve always done that I’ve felt uncomfortable or “odd” about... are stims. Minor ones, but stims, nonetheless. 

I’ve since learned that I was bullied pretty severely for being “weird” in elementary school, but I have no memory of it. 

I’ve since learned that dyscalculia is thing, and very well could have contributed to my ongoing struggle with math. 

And for the rest of my life I will wonder if knowing would have changed anything. If my depression is a side effect of this thing I didn’t know about myself, or a separate piece of me. Who I might have been if my entire identity wasn’t tied to my perceived sudden loss of intelligence and potential. 

Anyway. I’ve rambled quite enough. If anyone wants to talk about any of this, or vent, or ask questions, feel free. This is the post we are referring to, by the by. 

#adhd #depression #ocd #anxiety #tw suicidal thoughts mentioned #studying #school #gifted kids #neurodivergence #long post #bullying #self worth #identity

[wavesmp3]

directors cut: oasis

[doing this entirely for myself, out of pure self indulgence lol] [this will be very messy/poorly organized and there will be spoilers]

okay so where to even begin omg..... we will start with the origins of oasis:

its actually, techinically a spin off of the world from this drabble with dino from svt. which the world in this drabble is what the world from oasis would look like very far in the future. but i changed a lot between writing that drabble and creating oasis. but there should be a scene in the drabble that is very similar to a part in oasis (hint: the first vision they got from saskila was not just a random vision with no meaning.......hehe)

but that drabble (its titled dreamscapes) was inspired by a mix of this post on tumblr about how nuclear waste warning signs sounded very cool and the book that i was reading called the children of blood and bone by tomi adeyemi

and then after i had made that drabble i saw dee’s (@/atbzkingdom’s) post about the time capsule collab, and i had a couple ideas of what i could do for it but i ultimately decided on what would eventually become oasis !! so i guess we really have dee and that collab to thank for this piece lol

now for the timeline of me writing:

so i started outlining this piece in the first couple days of january, and normally outlines take me a while to come up with just because i struggle in coming up with plot, but i knew that my spring semester of classes would be starting soon and that I didn’t have a lot of time so i just sort of grinded an outline out as well several paragraphs of pure worldbuilding. 

and then i started writing

and wow i was Really writing!! at my peak productivity i was easily getting down like 2k a day which for me is insane (for reference, i wrote 1k a day for tsiytt and i struggled my way through that) 

but then life happens classes had begun and my writing for oasis slowly become nothing... 

i really only found the time to work on the piece every other weekend, so i was really nervous that i wouldn’t finish in time (which technically i didn’t cause it was supposed to come out march 1st) but luckily i did

and at some point in february, i had lost so much of my momentum and motivation for this piece that i almost gave up on it. (at this point i was writing the scenes after they find the seat of wisdom destroyed) but again luckily i did not, but i personally can definitely see a decline in the quality of my writing towards the end (i mean maybe its in my head, but its sort of like i can see the loss of love for the wip in my writing at the end of it)

but don’t misunderstand, i still love oasis!! and in all honesty, i’m already considering starting a second draft to it, which is way sooner than i thought i would lol

also when i started writing this piece, i began writing it in the order that it would be read, but then halfway i switched to writing chronologically

anyways, something i learned while writing this piece, is that writing is a marathon. whereas, even with my longer pieces, i always viewed writing as a sprint. so as i start venturing into original works and more lengthy pieces of writing, i think this was a very valuable lesson for me to have learned.

okay now to the good stuff lol: [the first word of the bullet about the next chapter (?) is bolded for some crumbs of an organized commentary]

so this is jumping to the first past bit... but when i first wrote farah i had a very different plan for her character than who she ended up being. i had imagined that she’d be a lot more cold and a tough love sort of person. so that’s who i was writing when she’s first introduced in the flashback, but she very quickly become a much kinder full of love sort of person. but anyways i mention this because whenever i read that first part and the introduction of her character, i’m always a bit taken aback by how like mean here character is to crown then lol

also zoar !!!! its a terrible place, but i love that underground city

i also wrote the first flashback after i had written the scene where crown and chanhee are talking at his place in andhor, so the whole “fearless” connection was done very purposefully here since i knew how it’d be referenced in the next scene. someone mentioned this small connection in their reblog but i cant remember who 

also rashi is my favorite character xD

i personally think how crown and chanhee became friends (the running thing) is so cute 

this first bit of conversation between crown and chanhee when it switches back to the present and chanhee is giving them a tour of andhor is actually quite important to me, in the sense that its the first glimpse of how their actual relationship works and how they act together and just like their dynamic despite the fact that they havent seen each other in so long 

and yeah i think kyu mentioned this and a few others, but i love how awkward it is when chanhee and crown are in his home in andhor, cause one: they havent seen each other in years! but also: anyone else find going to someone’s place for the first time oddly intimate, like wow you’re opening up your home to me and now suddenly idk how to sit or stand or what to do with my arms... maybe just me LMAO

DUDE i struggled so hard with making it so that chanhee knew how impossible this whole mission was going to be without actually revealing that he knows about the mirror. it was so hard for me, hopefully it came out alright though. if anyone is reading this, did the twist(s) come as a shock to you? did you see it coming? or did it feel like it came out of absolutely no where and not in a good way?

yes i did name the desert after the department store kohls .....

i was so excited to explain all the mage types, i had so much fun writing this whole chapter 

fun fact: there was originally another sub group of psyche mages called dream mages who had like powers with dreams and stuff, but it ended up being irrelevant and really underdeveloped so it took it out

if anyone else was raised catholic or is catholic then i’d hope you recognize the names of all the relics.... i stole them from a prayer in the rosary whoops

it took me very long time to figure out exactly how the whole soul for the relic business would work, and idk if im a 100% satisfied with what it is/how it works/how it plays into rashi giving chanhee the locket

the note new gives crown.... the first slice of their friendship blooming, bro i eat that shit up 

this part where crown and rashi are talking after the lesson is actually one of my favorites. (like i said i love rashi, but i just really love her interreacting with crown, i think they have such an interesting dynamic and one that i’ve seen irl a lot between students and teachers, where the student adores the teacher... i’ll get more into this later) but moving on, i like it for a number of reasons. one: it’s the first time we as readers get to see rashi talk outside of her role as lesson master. two: i love crown getting this validation from rashi. it’s not really expanded on a lot, but crown’s magic is definitely a bit of an insecurity for them, in the way that they don’t feel like it belongs to them. but here rashi comes, this person that crown looks up to so much, and telling crown that they’re a bit similar when it comes to having magic. and surprising crown by comforting them. and... idk i just really love this moment for crown.

okay this line: “You call your mom Rashi?” is a lowkey reference to game plan,, if anyone knows what i’m talking about then please come clown me for nearly having the entire movie memorized 

oh, i also find the capital really cool. in my head the capital was always one huge building that contains an entire city but i realized while editing that i never really explained that, so idk if i successfully described the capital as cool as it is to me 

also the five friends part.....CUTE

when chanhee says “i know. i remember.” !!! girl i felt that line with my entire chest. idk why

okay wait this part: “But that knowledge seems to fall flat right now. Because despite everything, curiosity won the war.” i love it so much, its that tiny of sliver of hope that gets me personally

i think this part where crown’s pride is so hurt by no one telling them about chanhee’s healing magic is quite important because its a glimpse of how stubborn and prideful and headstrong of a character they can be 

also this : “ ‘and do you believe everything rashi says’ / without hesitation, you answer, ‘yes, of course’ “ this is another example of how highly crown thinks of rashi while growing up, almost to a fault. to the point where crown thought rashi could do no wrong. which i think is so interesting to think about when contrasted with the fight crown and chanhee have in the jungle where crown is the one discussing how rashi was wrong. i just like how much growth crown has had between all these years. and their opinion / perspective on rashi is one of the largest indicators of that growth. 

I also just really like that paragraph where shadow vs healing is explained... I think chanhee’s magic is so sick

oh also the names thing.... I can’t remember where I got the idea to do that from but im so glad I did. its one of my favorite aspects to this world, and it looks like a lot of other people enjoyed it as well. but apart from the intimacy of it, i love how the use of names affects one’s magic. and that paragraph where they go through all that a mage could do with a name. it gives me chills. just cause.... the possibilities

so many people have mentioned this line.... but I must too, so this part: “magic always comes with a price. this is new’s” ..... crazy

saskila scares me omg

again the first vision they see is not a random scene.... the easter eggs I planted with that mwahaha

yeah that scene where they’re outside the tent discussing who should give their name to saskila..... I love that scene chanhee’s “I don’t have anyone but you” and crown deflecting all that tension with the pinky promise and the saskila calling them lovers.... mwah

this random scene about the hot summer and laying with Farah and new in the gardens is another one of my favorite, it’s just so sweet

but this next scene makes me so sad

like I know what happens and I know that everything turns out okay but I get so scared for crown

yeah just that entire part after Rashi gets to them and when they’re going to the infirmary and before crown passes out... I love that whole part. i think i did an effective job of writing the gravity of that whole moment. cause it makes me a little stunned every time I read it. and I was pretty nervous about not being able to do that scene and that moment justice so I’m glad it turned out like it did

and again this line: magic always comes with a price, and in your case, it comes with several.

okay this part after they jump out of the ship and crown is talking to Chanhee but that other dude is talking too... I hope it’s not too confusing. I really wanted to show through the writing that this was all happening at the same time, but idk it came out well. like in my mind I have such a clear picture of this scene, but I have no clue if I did effective job of showing you guys what I’m seeing through the writing

oh yeah, crowns thing about dual wielding and engulfing the blades in flames.... I find that so cool. they’re so sick for that

yeah also the part where crowns hurt and they give Chanhee their name and they use it.... great moment, but I feel like my writing is a bit lacking here. i just know it could be better.

I think at this point of writing my classes had started, and again the disparity in writing quality is so obvious to me 

but the line where chanhee is describing how it all feels, and it says “chanhee feels golden” was inspired by daylight by taylor swift, theres a line in that song that goes “i used to think love would be burning red, but its golden” and like hello the parallels between that and crown’s fire magic.... something to think about 

so this next part where it’s back to the past and crown is getting in trouble (as crown does) but the part where crown is like asking but not directly asking for rashi’s name.... that part is so crazy to me cause it’s feels so out of place. but it was purposeful. i was trying to show that crown’s growing and that they’re at this weird age where they feel invincible. and also i wanted to put more emphasis on how being royal and the heir to the throne kind of effects the relationships crown has

and the last line of this part when rashi says “never abuse it” it gives me chills whew

the next part ... another part that i had high hopes for in the outlining stages of writing, but when it came to actually writing, this scene totally flopped, i’m gonna try not to dwell on this part too much cause i just know most of my comments will be about how much i don’t like it. but just overall, this scene could have been SO MUCH BETTER !

omg this little interaction: ““Look!” Chanhee deadpans, shooting you a glare. “The match is about to begin.” / “Wish me luck.” /  “I hope you lose.”” i think its so funny and cute

“ Your eyes immediately got to Rashi “ another example of how highly crown regards rashi 

“In Wurltan.” hmmmmmm sus.... *laughs in i love mentioning things that won’t make sense to reader until later*

okay this: “Yes, but not just any mage. I…” your voice trails off, pulling at your fingers and looking anywhere but at him. “I wanted you to know.” i cannot stand these two omg 

okay this part: “Chanhee thinks and overthinks the words spoken between you both. His mind drifts off to last night as well, that moment in the tent where you shared your warmth. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring at you until you give him a funny look. He quickly looks away and wonders if you’re overthinking everything as relentlessly as he is.” this part makes me think about what ina said about how chanhee shows his love by keeping you in his thoughts and YEAH chanhee’s love language in this piece is thinking about you and staring LOL

i hate this next part, not cause i don’t like it or anything it just makes me sad 

but this line: “Like if someone shoved you from behind right now, you wouldn’t push back; you’d let yourself fall straight to the ground.” i actually love that line

also this next entire bit i see SO clearly in mind, i hope i wrote it well enough so that you all saw it clearly too

when chanhee wipes the dirt.... girl i’m wiping my tears 

this line : “We’ll lean on each other.” mini love declaration sighhhhhh

yeah that whole part i love so much 

the seat of wisdom :(((( no!!!!!

so about this line: “He stares at his palms, at all the lies buried under each nail and at all the secrets shoved in every crack. He watches as they all blow up in front of his face.” >> i had like ten different versions of it before i settled on this one lol

okay so the first part of the last past flashback with crown realizing their true feelings... so soft 

news gone, rashis’s dead, :((( it makes me so sad

gosh okay this paragraph..... “I’ve always wondered why the gods blessed me and you the way that they have. They entrusted you with such great power. The only person to be both a healing and shadow mage in centuries. And then,” a tear falls from her eye, “they entrusted you to me.” Chanhee thinks this might be the first time he’s seen Rashi cry. “But now I have reason to believe that this was no accident. I’m beginning to think that the gods have always known it would come to this. And I’m starting,” she falters there, “I’m starting to spite them for it.”  it hurts so bad im sorry 

the first confrontation with harlan took me so long to write, and i’m still not sure if i actually like it, so again i will refrain from commenting lol

but the part where crown screams : “YOU LOST THE MIRROR OF JUSTICE!”  I think i told kyu this but this line makes me laugh because in my head its said the same way bella says: “you nicknamed my daughter after the lochness monster” whenever i see that line i smile lol

honestly this argument scene..... one of my absolute faves,,, everything lina said about it in that reblog just yes!yes!yes!! i can’t even comment about a particular part because all of it i love so much. its another part that leaves me slightly speechless.

but my favorite part of it might be how it ends hehe

these next couple parts were a bit diffucult to write because obviously the air between crown and chanhee is not very light right now so it was just hard to navigate their dynamic at these moments until they apologize but hopefully it turned out alright

i really like this line: “But this moment—with the scent of Harlan’s wine under his nose and the chill of Harlan’s blade against his neck—this moment feels nothing like those. It feels empty.” 

“ Chanhee just stares at you.“ -- staring as a love language exhibit b 

this whole part... chills bro 

“Chanhee exhales because for the first time since this afternoon he looks at your face and sees you.” -- exhibit c ....

okay wait another one of my favorite parts here: the spilled glass metaphor!! again please reference lina’s rb on this because everything said there... could not have said better myself. inspired by this writing advice by ocean vuong and yeah i just think the metaphor speaks for itself, one of my favorite lines (well paragraph) from the entire piece, actually from ALL of my works 

it was so hard to think up all of yumi’s different names, i was struggling

them talking about how farah will be happy to see chanhee...... how do i break it to you crown.....she’s dead...... awkward

red streak q! yesss. also i’m so sorry for killing off farah 

also kyunyu bestiessss

tbh this whole paragraph: “I get this overwhelming burst of honesty. As if what you both speak of is more than just a simple truth, as if it’s a commandant you blindly follow. What’s even odder is that I only feel that burst when you speak of each other.” Q stops walking and turns so that he faces Chanhee directly. “You speak of Crown constantly. And last night, when I met Crown, your title never left from the tip of their tongue. Humans are so simple really. We mention what we love.” Q pauses for a moment, bringing a hand under his chin. “Do you love Crown?” --i wrote it for myself no regrets

oh wait this bit too : “Quietly, Chanhee says, “I know.” / “Have you been watching?” / “I’ve been waiting.” / “For what?” / He meets your eyes. “For you.”” -- sometimes i do things that live rent free in my own mind

okay im so sorry for just quoting myself but this too : “ He sits back slightly. Shocked. Not by his love for you, but rather by how easily love walked into his heart and settled between his lungs “

lol the part where they try fooling q... why are crown and chanhee like this

the running !!!

yeah also every part after that... tears okay

yumi’s magic !!! its so cool to me, i love it so much 

i surprisingly don’t have much to say about the end... i mean i like it, but i just don’t have any comments. the last line tho... good one shawna

okay im done for you sake i hope no one read this lmao 

#oasis #mine #not sure what else to tag this lol #oh #directors commentary #this got so long for no reason

[softrenjunnie]

“we can’t do this” kisses

pairing: slytherin!chenle x gryffindor!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst?? idk tbh, harry potter!au

warnings: none, maybe a swearword somewhere

wordcount: 1.6k

message: thank you for all of the love on my “collection” posts, aswell as everything else i’ve posted. i really really appreciate it and it means a lot to me. i honestly dont know about this one, i had a good thought but then... idk what the end is. anywayssss i hope you enjoy? feedback is always gladly accepted but pls be easy on me about this one lmao :// also you dont even wanna know how many times i typen cnehle instead of chenle, ive seen that video too many times.... second also; sorry for being so slow w my updates, ive been having less time and inspiration to write recently... :( third also: not spellchecked aaaah gonna try to do that tomorrow but im too tired rn :/

21 kisses masterlist l Full masterlist

Many months had passed since you last spoke to Chenle. Heck, if it hadn’t been for the fact that you were seated next to him in muggle studies (because the seats were fixed and you had decided on the first day of classes that you wanted to sit together), you wouldn’t even have been near him. 

You’re a Gryffindor, Chenle is a Slytherin. Your mother is an auror and your father works for the Minister for Magic, while both Chenle’s parents were known death eaters. Or, well, they weren’t known when you started dating him, and if they had been back then you wouldn’t have gotten yourself involved with him.

Your parents had met Chenle several times, and they were always supportive of your relationship. But you wished you could say that they had been equally as supportive after it was discovered that his parents were death eaters. Your mother had sent you a letter the day they found out, and when you didn’t respond, your father traveled all the way to Hogwarts to talk to you in person and ban you from ever speaking to Chenle again, by threatening to take you out of hogwarts if you didn’t follow his orders. They had even made sure your friends and most of your teachers knew you weren’t supposed to meet him, so they would drag you away from him if you even as much as tried to talk to him.

But that didn’t mean that you weren’t looking at him. Or talking about him. Or thinking about him. That didn’t mean that you didn’t know exactly where he was at 99% of the time or that you didn’t know what was happening in his life. And it most certainly didn’t mean that you didn’t love him. Because you did. You couldn’t just shut off your feelings, no matter what your parents wanted.

Many parents had sent in threatening letters to the headmaster, telling him to expel Chenle because his behavior could inspire other students to learn about dark magic. But the headmaster always responded by saying that there would be no punishment for anyone based on what their parents had done, because children don’t necessarily take after their parents. And you were so thankful for that - because he was completely right. Chenle was not at all like that. He had been distancing himself from his parents as much as he could since the moment he found out about them over seven years ago; he’d even left them to live with his grandmother instead. You just wished your parents understood that. 

You often found yourself looking down the hallway in the dungeon when you had finished potions class, hoping to see Chenle strutting to or from his common room with his friends. Or thinking of him when his favorite dish was sitting right in front of you at dinner, making you throw a glance over at his usual spot by the slytherin table to make sure he was digging into it as usual. 

Except, one day, he wasn’t at dinner. You didn’t stop looking when you couln’t see him in his usual seat; you searched the entire slytherin table from your place across the room with your eyes, in case he’d decided to get a new seat; and then you searched the rest of the great hall in case he was talking to a teacher or someone from another house. But there was no Chenle. You thought it was very strange, as he never missed a meal - so you excused yourself from your seat and instead walked over to the slytherin table. By the end of it sat the people who you recognized as Chenle’s best friends, Renjun and Jisung, two full blood slytherins whose parents were speculated to be working with Chenle’s. They didn’t look too happy to see you.

“What are you doing here?” Jisung sneered at you once you came close enough to hear.

“I’m just wondering if you know where Chenle is,” you said, voice much calmer than the one that spoke before you.

“Why do you care,” Renjun spat right after swallowing down a piece of chicken. “You’ve made it pretty clear you don’t want anything to do with him anymore.”

“Oh, and you are mad about that?” Even though you had tried to remain calm, you could feel the anger boiling inside of you.

“Yes, Chenle is-“

He had barely just started talking when you cut him off. “You think you’re mad? There are people who are suffering way more from this than you, you idiot. Try to get that thought through your small brain. Maybe the person who’s been ignored, or maybe the person who’s going to be kicked out of hogwarts if she is seen speaking to Chenle.” You hadn’t been able to hold back - but it felt good. When you were done with your mini-rant, you straightened your posture again and looked at the boys with calmer eyes. They seemed surprised, and possibly a bit scared, and Jisung had dropped his fork from his mouth to his plate with a loud thud when you started. “So, I would really appreciate it if you could tell me where Chenle is at.”

Even though they were frightened of what Chenle had threatened them with doing if they spoke about his whereabouts, they told you about how Chenle had said that he wasn’t feeling like having lunch and was probably sitting in the library to study for his exam the next day. Forgetting all about your friends back at your table (and the risk of them seeing you by the slytherin table and connecting the dots), you hurried out of the great hall and made your way down the hallway towards the library.

Your mind was blank, you didn’t know at all what to say to Chenle if you even found him. Yet there was something telling you to go; something inside of you forcing you find him. He had his favorite spot in the library, by one of the windows deep inside, so when you finally made it into the library, you knew exactly where to look. And sure enough, staring into his history of magic book, he sat by the same table as he always did. He hadn’t heard you as your last few steps had been soft, so you faked a quiet cough to get his attention. 

“What are you doing here?”

You sighed at the tone in his voice - you had been a bit surprised before you reminded yourself that you shouldn’t have expected anything. Instead of answering his question, you asked him one. “Why weren’t you at dinner?”

He put his book down and stood up, frowning at you. “Did you seriously come here just to ask me why I didn’t have dinner?”

You shrugged and looked down at your feet, suddenly feeling shy. “Yeah,” you mumbled.

“Okay, so,” he started, pacing slowly towards you. “you don’t speak to me for weeks, maybe even months, and then you come all the way to the library to ask why I didn’t have dinner?” You looked up from the ground to see him staring right into your eyes. “Not really that believeable.”

You didn’t know what to say. The day you had been banned from speaking to him, you had walked straight up to him to tell him that you wanted to break up with him. That’s it. No explanation, not giving him any chance to talk to you. And you hated it, but you weren’t sure how to make it better.

“Shit, Chenle, I’m sorry. I really am,” you sighed, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes at any moment now from seeing how angry he was. He had never before looked at you with such flames in his eyes as he was right now. “I... I don’t know what to do to make you understand-“

He cut you off, his tone piercingly sharp. “Just tell me. Tell me the truth.” You blinked a couple of times, hoping that it would help push the water in your eyes back. “Is it because of my parents that you act like I suddenly don’t exist?”

“Yes but-“

And again, he didn’t let you speak. “I though you knew me. I thought you saw me for who I am, not for who my parents are.”

You couldn’t hold back. You stepped towards him, cupping his face in your hands and scanned his eyes for any sign of doubt (except for his continuedly frowned eyebrows). It was like a magnetic force pulled you to him, that pulled your mouth to his. You could instantly feel how much you’d missed this feeling, even though it was barely just a brush. 

Chenle pulled away almost the exact moment you’d launched forward, and though his expression was hard to read, it told you that he wasn’t angry at you. He let out a shaky breath, as he dropped his head to let his forehead rest on your shoulder. “We can’t do this...” he mumbled, his arms snaking around your lower back to hold you close. 

You held him around his shoulders, leaning your head on top of yours. “I’m so sorry, Chenle. I’m going to find a way to fix this,” you mumbled. “My parents... they made sure I didn’t talk to you. I’ll do something to make this right.” 

“But before that, can you just hold me?” 

You might have ignored him for such a long time, but that didn’t mean that you had stopped loving him. Nor that you weren’t ready to fight for your relationship. 

#nctnetwrite #nct dream #nct #soft hours #fluff #chenle #Zhong Chenle #chenle scenario #chenle fluff #chenle imagine #chenle drabble #chenle blurb #chenle harry potter au #chenle harry potter!au #chenle hogwarts!au #chenle hogwarts au #chenle soft hours #nct harry potter au #nct harry potter!au #nct hogwarts!au

[apollocomplexx]

Okay, guys, so hear me out. Feel free to add on to this if you guys want.

ALSO THIS INVOLVES SEXUAL IMPLICATIONS(MENTIONS OF HOOK-UP, USAGE OF "LAY", AND FRIENDS W/ BENEFITS), AND BURN VICTIMS. READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.

But an actual full-length character study of Dabi and Hawks? But like, in an AU where there's no quirks. Dabi, a tattoo artist(i know, so original 🙄) and a burn victim, Hawks. Hawks, who was once a pro athlete who had gotten into an accident ends up having a burn scar smeared right across the side of his face. His backstory is basically similar to his own, but he actually suffered the neglect from his family. So he's got mad mommy and daddy issues. And so, when he was recruited as an athlete(im not sure what sport), he had a full-ride scholarship. He was always a successful person in school and tried to be perfect.

So, he emailed became one of the best AND youngest pro athletes. But, of course, he got caught in a bad accident and he was hospitalized for awhile. Hawks- now Keigo -doesn't have the physical capability to be how he used to. The fastest man alive now barely able to run at a normal speed of the average person. Physical therapy is a bitch.

Because of all his money in reserve, he goes to a therapist. She expresses to him that he seems to have a self-conscious issue with himself. Keigo agrees. Not because he's acknowledging the situation, but because he hates how far he's fallen. He's not the same person he used to be. This prompts the therapist to ask, "Who were you, Keigo?" It throws him for a loop because he can't find himself to be able to scrap up any ideas or proof he actually was a person with a personality.

So, the session ends and he can't stop thinking about it. His best friend, Rumi, encourages him that night whilst eating a a giant bowl full of takeout Ramen that he should, "Try something new! Stop bitching around and wallowing around in your own shit. Life ain't shit. It ain't gonna tell you to get off your ass. You gotta do something." He takes this advice.

There are more troubles when his family ends up contacting him and asking for a stipend on money. You know, to support their "retirement". Keigo, who still has a soft spot and moral compass, reluctantly gives them money. Hie agency had given him a large severance pay when the doctors confirmed to the team and league that he wouldn't be able to play anymore.

Without even contacting Rumi, Keigo decides to do one of the worst(but possibly best decision in his entire life) impulsive things in the textbook. Angrily get a tattoo, that's what he's gonna do. So, he goes to this stupid little tattoo parlor. Isn't the best, the employees are apparently a bit crazy(especially the 18-year-old blonde desk worker, jfc). But he likes the vibe. This is the perfect place to ruin his life. Yes. It's called The League of Villains. Pretty edgy, right? Right, that's the point.

And so he already planned the appointment last night when he was kinda drunk. You know, putting himself in a stupor with deliciously fancy brandy and possible soda in the mix? It was strong. But he was so for this qt the moment. Of course, he was nervous as he got pointed to the closest room. The door was ajar and he could hear some edgy pop punk music he could imagine some teenager in their emo-phase would listen to after their breakup with their first boyfriend they had for like 4 days. So, he opens the door to see this mop of black hair, and instantly, the long overcoat with staples jumps out at him. Oh God, is this guy a teenager stuck in his emo phase?

Said-guy looks up and he has these gorgeous flaming blue eyes that looks like he could drown in and be burnt in at the same time. There were so many piercings on his face, and he looked intense with tattoos. The more he stared. He noticed the leathery burnt flesh underneath the intricately done patchwork of an elaborate tattoo. They were plentiful of electric blue flowers that matched his scorching eyes, monochrome smoke with pairing wild flames that looked something out of a folklore book. It was just utterly magnetic and magical and--

And the tattoo artist glances up at Keigo with this knowing smirk. And wow, he's hot AND pretty. How dare he? His own burn scar visible on his face makes him look so wretched. How can he pull that off so well? And so, that's how Keigo got a Hawks tattoo on the side of his neck. He wasn't that dedicated to get one over his scar like this guy here. Soon enough, he learned that his name is Dabi, he's been a tattoo artist for about three to four years. Before that, he was a starved artist who took like, a couple of years in philosophy(maybe he could be an art student with an associate's???). He blatantly made flirty comments toward Keigo and wow. If he wasn't gay before, he is now.

The two share contact information, they talk, and Keigo genuinely gets 10x better with his mental health. Apparently Dabi had no fucking clue that he was a pro athlete because all he watches are stupid documentaries and terrible reality shows. And maybe some ghibli films, because he's a man of flavor.

Dabi starts to learn a lot about Keigo but Keigo never learns a lot from Dabi. Eventually they start hanging out. This evolves into intense flirting. And then this turns into hook-ups. All Keigo knows is that apparently he's a good lay, Dabi's tongue is very hot for no reason(like temperature don't kill me lmao), and he might have severe commitment issues because he only deems them as friends. Now, Hawks normally wouldn't care. But Dabi then starts to invite him out after he confides in him about his therapy session.

So, they start going on not-dates. To coffee shops, to bakeries, McDonald's at 3am after a quick fuck, and even more stuff that he knows would be deemed as dates but they just aren't. The tattoo artist claims he doesn't care, but it's so evident that he does.

And he doesn't realize Dabi has as many problems as he does when he thinks about the entire situation. He has feelings for the man, and it's apparent that the other wants no strings attached. So, he brings it up after they have an "intimate" moment. Keigo looks over at the raven, and he sees him staring at him with this placid look on his face. And then he swears he sees tears welling up in his eyes. Then there's a slow meld of pink appearing on his face, up on the healthy portion of his skin. Before he knows it, Dabi just fucking up and leaves without much of a word and Keigo just feels-- he feels like shit.

And that's where I stop because I've been typing on my phone for 30 minutes and I'll keep going on. What do you guys thinks lmao

#boku no hero academia #boku no hero fanfic #my hero academia #dabihawks #dabi is touya #dabi is todoroki touya #dabi x keigo #touya x keigo #dabi x hawks #my hero imagines #bnha #mha #mha dabi #mha hawks #mha au #mha au idea #rumi usagiyama

[romanovanoff]

bio says black widow stories but i do like to dabble with other characters too. ill have a full list on another post.

YOU & I

A Bellatrix & Tom Riddle story

part one

characters:

bellatrix black

tom riddle

narcissa black

andromeda black

druella black

rodolphus lestrange

rabastan lestrange

(tba)

relationships:

bella/tom

narcissa/lucius

andromeda/ted

(tba)

summary: tom is the new kid in school and is already popular amongst his peers. his goal is to have bellatrix black by his side when he conquers the wizarding world, and his only problem? bella is already in an arranged marriage and also wants nothing to do with him.

disclaimer: i have never read the books, and ive seen all the movies only like twice. im not a crazy fanatic potterhead, i just have an unhealthy obsession for bellatrix/helena bonham carter 😌. so apologies in advance if i make any mistakes, regarding whats canon in the harry potter universe and so on. the little things, the big things, my bad. i hope the fact that its mostly au makes up for what it lacks in accuracy.

word count: 3497

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"I overheard earlier today that Hogwarts received a new student," Druella spoke as she took a sip of tea, delicately patting a napkin across her lips before gazing over at her three daughters. Bellatrix, who didn't seem interested at all in the conversation, Andromeda, who was busy scribbling something in her diary, and little Narcissa who was following along to her mother's words.

"Yes, it's true," The blonde girl, thirteen years old, responded. "I thought it strange at first but apparently he and his family were living somewhere in Europe. Tom Riddle, I think his name is. He'd been taught at home and his father had gotten a job at the ministry so they transferred him to Hogwarts."

Ever the gossip, it didn't surprise Bellatrix in the slightest that Cissy knew so much about the new student. She rolled her eyes, wondering why the hell they were even discussing this in the first place. It was just a new student, who cares? She voiced this several times out loud but had received the usual disapproving glances from the two blondes. It creeped the raven-haired witch sometimes at how much Cissy resembled their mother.

Letting out a sigh Bella swirled her spoon around in her teacup, not finding the appetite to drink nor eat the sweets that accompanied her tea. The three of them were currently in Rosa Lee's teashop, a place they often went to every other week, with permission to leave the school of course- though she didn’t ask for it most times. Usually Bellatrix would devour the treats but today she was feeling too anxious to do anything but. At seventeen years old she had stretched out her days of freedom and was now forced into a marriage that should have taken place two years ago.

The thought of marriage wasn't all that bad, if she was being honest. Sometimes when her thoughts and actions weren't clouded with hate and rage she'd daydream a not so near future of a perfect wedding. A wedding where she would be marrying someone she truly loved and could cherish, to honor their vows to the fullest extent. So the wedding itself wasn't the problem, it was who she was supposed to be wed to that was. Her long time childhood friend, Rodolphus Lestrange. And one of the very few in the sacred 28 that wasn't related to the Blacks by blood. At least that she was aware of… The thought still made her cringe, even after checking every family tapestry available and an exhausting amount of research.

Everyone wanted her to be happy about the fact she'd get to marry someone she's known for years, something most pure-bloods didn't have the honor of having, but it was the fact she knew him so well that she hated. He was like a brother to her, albeit at times an annoying and even sexist brother. He wasn't husband material and she was most certainly not wife material for him. And add to the fact that they'd be pressured to have children immediately after becoming man and wife, the thought of having sex with him made her want to gag. You'd think they'd notice that such a practice was incredibly outdated. She hated to wonder if the marriage had taken place two years ago, would they really pressure two 15 year olds to consumate? Fuck this life.

She felt like the world and everyone in it was against her. All her complaints had been shot down, leaving her inwardly seething with rage before being left totally subdued. Oh, how she hated being so… powerless, left without a voice, without a right to do what she wanted and to do so as she pleased, the ever present shadow looming over her shoulder that was the society and family she was born into.

Letting out a sigh she looked over at Andromeda who was still scribbling in that damn book. Probably instant messaging her friends, something Bellatrix didn't have the luxury of having. At least genuine ones anyway. The ones she had in school were merely vultures following around, waiting for the opportunity to eat away at the scraps she bared. They didn't hesitate to use her to their advantage, trying to play her like a fool. Idiots, they should've known she was the brightest witch of her age for a reason. And no one took advantage of Bellatrix Black.

Despite still being superior she continued feeling a bitter pang in her heart, knowing no one truly cared for her there. Well, maybe except for her sisters, Rodolphus and his brother that is.

Catching her eyes on what she was doing Andromeda quickly closed her book and narrowed her eyes at her eldest sister. But then a familiar smirk curled the girls lips and Bellatrix knew what was going to happen before her sister could even utter a word. She knew that smirk anywhere. Bella herself wore that smirk on several occasions, actually even taught it to her dear sister! If only mother knew how truly naughty Andy was, maybe then the heat wouldn't fall upon Bella so heavily when she did something that displeased her.

"Mother," Andromeda chimed in, interrupting Cissy's conversation with the older woman. "Bellatrix is right. Why not talk about something else."

"Andy…" The dark haired witch warned, fingers clenched around her spoon.

"Like… Bella's wedding perhaps? Surely there are plenty of plans to discuss. Some of which I'm sure my dear sister here is needed for?" The brunette suggested 'innocently', smiling back at Bellatrix before looking at her mother.

Druella blinked once, then twice before she brightened up. Damnit, Andy, Bella thought to herself angrily, glaring daggers at her younger sister. "You're right! We only have a short few weeks before the big day and still so much to do. How about we end this little meal early and say we go to one of the boutiques nearby, check up on your wedding dress," Druella said as she rose from her seat.

And so that's what they did. They went to the boutique, checked the incredibly old fashioned dress, with what looked like the most painfully looking corset yet stitched into the fabric. After, they stopped by a few other shops to double check things were in order for the wedding before finally apparating home. The entire time Bellatrix had trudged along reluctantly behind her sisters and mother, offering a few weak comments and opinions for this thing and that when asked of her.

She was glad to finally be back home, finding relief in the knowledge that tomorrow morning she'd be returning back to Hogwarts, having spent the weekend with her family. On one hand she was glad she managed to extend the wedding date, convincing her parents that it might be wise that she finish her last year and take her N.E.W.T.s before focusing on 'wifely duties'. Yes, that was how she phrased it. And yes, they'd taken the bait, obviously wanting their daughter to focus on her marriage once out of school, and not caring about the intelligence hidden behind her usual mask of indifference.

She made short work separating from her family's side to make her way upstairs to her room. And then made even shorter work getting ready for bed. No one ever bothered her when she was up the stairs and hidden away. It was known to all that Bellatrix Black inherited the 'mad' gene in the family, more prone to violent outbursts and destructive tantrums. Because of this her room wasn't the prettiest, constantly being repaired and sparse so there were less objects to break. The room was also constantly being placed under a silencing charm, quieting her screams so the rest of the household could sleep peacefully. How thoughtful of them, she thought to herself bitterly.

The sun was already down by the time she emerged from the bathroom, all scrubbed up and her hair wet, the many strands in ringlets falling down her back. With her wand, she casted a quick-drying spell to both her body and hair, not bothering with any sleeping robes as she climbed into bed. Once in she blew out the candles before getting comfortable under the covers. Usually, it would be too early to go to sleep, and she'd have at least a glass or two of firewhiskey to help her doze off but she felt the whole unexpected wedding planning this afternoon was enough to do her in. Not only that but she did need to wake up early to catch the train back to Hogwarts tomorrow. So without much further thought she closed her heavy eyes and fell asleep, hoping things could be much easier in the future.

THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS

"Tom Riddle is in our class."

"I heard Tom's family is incredibly wealthy and direct descendants to Salazar Slytherin."

"It's true! I overheard him talking to snakes! Snakes!"

The whispers and excited talk continued on and on the moment Bellatrix stepped onto the Hogwarts express. If she thought Cissy talking to mother about this ‘nobody’ annoyed her, she was absolutely wrong. Hearing everyone around her discuss this Riddle boy absolutely drenched her high spirits and put her in one of her dark moods.

No one needed to look twice to know to stay away from the young witch. If dark glaring eyes didn't strike fear into her peers, then the dark energy and aura surrounding her would.

Not wanting to hear the gossip anymore Bella separated from her 'friends' and found a seating compartment for herself, only able to hold two people, but thankfully no one dared claim the other spot. She sat close to the window, forehead touching the glass, and seeming to cool her ever bubbling irritation. Trees and rolling hills passed by in a blur but she wasn't particularly watching, eyes slightly glazed over as she got lost in thought.

So lost in thought she almost didn't notice the sounds of her compartment door being slid open and a person taking a seat across from her. Blinking slowly she looked over to the 'intruder' as the door slid closed once more, leaving the two individuals with some privacy she didn't necessarily want.

The person in front of her was a young man. Probably around her age with dark brown hair, curling neatly at the front. He had bright emerald eyes, warm but she got the hint of something darker underneath, something dangerous hidden beneath the surface and ready to strike unsuspecting prey. Despite that though everything else about him seemed pretty bland. Pale skin- but not as pale as hers-, average build, and put together uniform.

"Who're you?" She found herself asking, swallowing the automatic 'get out' she was originally planning on saying. Given the fact she hasn't seen him before in this school year or any year before that, she was already dreading the answer. She wasn't even sure why she disliked him so much already. Maybe it was the fact he's barely even started school here and yet everyone was already drooling over him. Maybe it was the fact he was well known for things the student body hasn't even had proof of, things he was already praised for. And on her side of things she was well known for her infamous anger and her upcoming marriage to Rodolphus. That or her status of being the firstborn Black daughter. Otherwise known as the current heir of the Black family. Well. That was until her idiot cousin, Sirius was old enough to steal the mantle from her.

So when he said, "Tom. Tom Riddle," She really couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes. Cause of course the person she had no care for was sat in, of all seats, the one in front of her. "Does that name offend you?" He then asked, wearing the same damn smirk he wore the moment she took in his appearance just seconds earlier.

"No," She said in a bored drawl, eyes once again gazing out the window as her head rested against the glass. "Unlike every other idiot out there, I care not for who you are. You're just another ordinary student attending Hogwarts. Nothing special about that," She told him, her tone consistent in telling him of how much she didn't care.

He was quiet for some time. Not too long, but enough to give her pause and wonder if she'd wandered too deep in thought and he'd slipped away. Only a glance his way revealed that, no, he was still here. "I agree," He finally spoke again. "There's nothing special about me at all. And I'm starting to despise the fact people are so interested in me. Took a look at the school Friday and suddenly everyone thinks so highly of me just because it was a private tour by the headmaster himself," He huffed.

It was clear to Bellatrix by the way he spoke, by the way he talked that he was excellent at charming people, manipulating them even if you would use the darker term. Again, she was many things but an idiot was not one of them and she wasn't falling for his 'charms' or tactics any time soon.

"Oh, poor you," She said in a mocking voice, jutting out her bottom lip as she faced him fully. "New kid in school has everyone fawning over him. Such a terrible life you must live, knowing you have everyone in the palm of your hands with just a smile." She finished the sentence off with said smile before turning it into a sneer.

"I won't repeat myself again. I care not for who you are, and I don't wish to know you or anything about you. So if you're going to sit here, then it better be in silence, or so help me merlin I will curse you. Laws be damned," She hissed. Hopefully for the last time she turned away again, feeling her mood lighten just slightly at her first threat of the day.

Usually, other students would run away by now, flee the vicinity in which she occupied, but Tom just sat there, in shock, or because he actually listened to her words. Finding herself curious about which option she chanced another glance but was surprised to see him wearing that annoying little smirk instead. "Cute," He told her, enjoying the way her eyes widened just slightly before darkening with anger. "That threat might work on others but it won't with me."

Her magic was absolutely crackling around her, like static in the air just before an oncoming storm. She was soon to make good on her threat. "Based on your looks, in how you speak, and the way I saw you walk earlier, looking down at everyone as if they were beneath you. I would safely assume you are a… Black. Bellatrix Black? Considering you look to be in the same year as me," He continued, assuming everything correctly. She didn't need to know though that he'd actually done his research prior to moving here, and that he had asked around earlier. "I don't expect you to get along with me from the start, but you will see me around often. I'll personally make sure of that. Cause I like you," He said with a shrug, smirk still in place.

Bold. Oh, so very bold and before Bellatrix could even utter a single word or even grab and raise her wand for that matter, he was already out the door. The space in front of her was once again vacant and she stared at the now unoccupied seat as the door slid closed.

LATER THAT DAY

It was almost impossible for the raven haired witch to avoid hearing or seeing Tom. It was as if everywhere she turned, someone was talking about him or he himself was staring at her from a distance. Usually she would never admit such a thing, her pride too strong, but it greatly unnerved her. Who the hell did he think he was? Claiming he would see her more often because he liked her? “Doesn’t even know me,” She scoffed to herself, annoyed as she continued on the familiar path to her dormitory.

Bellatrix was a slytherin through and through, like every other Black family member before her. There had been no question about it. Well, maybe after. She questioned it alot. The houses, the characteristics and traits. All of it. And once she's put herself in a more outside perspective about it she really couldn't help but laugh at the whole student body, almost all of them adapting and practically absorbing their houses certain traits into their own personality.

Anyway, she was a slytherin, but she couldn't help but wonder if she'd changed her mindset that first day, if her family hadn't been so adamant on which house she went to, would she have been chosen for hufflepuff, perhaps? Maybe gryffindor? Ew, no. Possibly ravenclaw. These thoughts raced past in her mind as she made her way down into the dungeons. There was a little of her in each, she supposed.

"Drommie, Cissy," Bellatrix greeted once she made it into the girls dorm, having already said the password and walked through the shared sitting room. All three Black sisters shared the same room, something Bellatrix and her mother both insisted and agreed upon to the headmaster when first starting school here. It was a protective thing. Bella knew that her sisters weren't like her, lacking in gut and courage. She was sure Andromeda could take care of herself, at times, but if worse came to worse she was more likely to break under pressure and need rescuing from her bigger sister. And little Narcissa, the spoiled brat she was, didn't have a single backbone in her body, choosing instead to flee or hide behind one's robes. Despite those certain qualities though Bellatrix still loved her sisters dearly and simply made it a priority to keep them safe, consequences to herself be damned.

Sure… maybe it was Bella's fault for them needing protection, having spent most of her years reigning terror down upon those who even glance at her, therefore her peers not liking her and taking it out on her sisters instead. But… hey! They looked at her funny, they deserved it!

"Bella why didn't you sit with us on the train," Narcissa asked, looking at her older sister as she sat on her bed.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and walked past, towards her own bed furthest in the room and by the window. "As if I'd sit and listen to you two and your friends gossiping about the 'new boy'," She said back.

Andromeda turned to her with a quirked brow. "I don't know, by the looks of it you sat just fine with the 'new boy' before you ran him away."

Bellatrix was only able to scoff as a response before Narcissa quickly interrupted, hopping over towards Bellatrix. "You got to talk to Tom Riddle?" She asked excitedly. "How was he like? Was he charming? Did he show you parseltongue?"

"Cissy, please, calm down. He was none of those things. He was very bland… and cocky, and arrogant," Bella responded, the end getting heated with annoyance. Not towards her sister of course.

"Sounds like someone I know," Andromeda spoke up with a pointed look Bella's way.

"Shut up," The dark haired witch shot back. Because of course she couldn't deny it. She was those things sometimes… all the time. "Whatever. Let’s go. It's time for lunch anyway."

(A/N: lets be honest idk how classes work at hogwarts so lets say bellatrix and sis’s meet up w mother on the reggy, with permission or without, and this particular weekend was a break for all students to either visit their fam or relax in their dorms/explore school grounds. today (mon) is a day for them to get readjusted and classes start up again the following day. anyway continue)

All the way to the great hall Bellatrix's sisters continued teasing her about Tom. Thankfully she took the teasing easily, shoving her sisters good naturedly and joking along. That was until they reached the great hall. She didn't think her sisters noticed but as they walked past others to get to their table Bellatrix could feel a strong force on her, like something digging into the back of her head. She scanned her eyes around the room once, trying to catch the culprit of whatever was happening but all she could see were other students eating merrily, not a clue to her predicament. Thankfully by the time she'd sat down the force had vanished and she could focus back on her sisters.

Tom stood just outside the doors of the great hall, panting and trying to catch his breath. Never had he been rejected so quickly from someone's mind, not even close to breaching it in fact. Her magic was strong, untampered and just waiting to be fully unleashed just beneath the surface. A magic enough to rival his own. She may think she was strong now but oh just wait until he had her with him, by his side. Just wait until he showed her what she's truly capable of.

With these thoughts in mind he swiftly walked away from the great hall entrance, on his way back to his dorm.

#harry potter #bellatrix lestrange #bellatrix #bellatrix black #bellatrix x voldemort #bellatrix x tom riddle #helena bonham carter #wizarding world #hogwarts #writing #writer #story #fanfiction #fiction #fictional #stories

[btshogwartsfics]

hi im the one who sent the first impressions one. i meant the reader's impression of them and individually. also, i would like to see if the reader's impressions were right or wrong! thanks Kate 💜🥰

no problem! thanks for suggesting and i’m sorry for the delay! since you asked for all of them, i made them rather friendship-y generalized. however, what happens after is, of course, entirely up to your imagination! hope you enjoy! this was really fun!! 💕

also: since i’m doing seven different first impressions, they may be rather brief as i don’t want them to get too long since i can’t currently use the “read more” feature!

~peep the mention of this hc request during namjoon’s part if you’re confused!

jin

he had a sort of fanclub.

it was weird. the younger years seemed to just follow him around. wherever he went, you could spot someone else right behind him.

he didn’t seem to know them either. he had his own group of friends, but the students trailing him only seemed to leave once he asked them to.

and every time his ears would flush a deep red.

while you’re sure he was a nice enough guy— (seriously try to name one genuinely mean hufflepuff?) —you’d made up your mind to just stay clear of him.

you didn’t want to get caught up in the paparazzi.

though, it seems fate had other ideas.

after being asked by your transfig professor to re-organize the attic, you ended up spending a rather large amount of time with him.

you found that you were absolutely right— he is really kind and polite. however, much to your chagrin, he also told some really bad puns.

yet they always seemed to pull a laugh out of you.

maybe he wasn’t so bad.

yoongi

you thought he seemed pretty intimidating.

it’s not anything he did, really. or said for that matter. he was just eerily quiet.

you can count on one hand the amount of times you’ve heard him speak.

eventually, you concluded that he probably just wanted to be left alone. and you couldn’t exactly blame him for that.

it wasn’t until you began to hang out with jin that you started to really see him.

he was sweet. soft. sarcastic as hell.

while you were correct in assuming that he liked his solitude, you found that he really enjoyed having his friends around, too.

even if he sometimes tried to hide it, he could never really get rid of the grin that curled at his lips whenever they were together.

you caught yourself wishing you could see it more often.

you suppose you’d just have to stick around.

hobi

he was... loud.

not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just that, for whatever reason, you only seemed to catch him in the mornings.

the room could be dead silent or ringing in your ears, but you’d still be able to hear his voice above the crowd.

he also possessed an ungodly amount of energy.

you had no idea where he got it from, but he never seemed to run out. ever.

which was why it was so strange for you to catch him in the library.

you honestly thought he would’ve been banned from that place.

you’d been on your way out, rounding the corner of a bookshelf, when you ran straight into him.

thankfully, he was able to catch your books before they fell and made a load of noise, but then he smiled at you. small and soft.

and with a whispered, “are you alright?” a “so sorry about that,” and a parting, “excuse me” he was gone.

you couldn’t stop thinking about the gentle concern on his face and the soft velvet of his voice for the rest of the day.

namjoon

you assumed he was a pure blood.

shortly after bumping into him during midterms, you started to see a lot more of him around.

quickly, you discovered that he was at the top of all of his classes. damn near perfect scores all across the board.

he also ran a tutoring business.

it was mainly for the younger years, but even kids older than him could be found sitting with him in the library, nodding along as he explains the subject to them.

you were, admittedly, quite impressed.

“surely”, you told your roommate, “he’d been born into a wizarding household. he’s a natural! or at least if he wasn’t you’d never know it.”

they shook their head in agreement. “you’d think so, wouldn’t you?”

you frowned. they continued. “suprising, then, that’s he’s actually a muggleborn.”

what?

jimin

he was arrogant, you were sure.

okay so, no, you suppose you don’t know him —but you’re positive! you see it in the way he carries himself.

like he’s the most important person in the room. or in the way he smirks when he’s made his point. or the way he plays quidditch.

he basks in the praise and adoration of the crowd.

attempts flips and tricks that you know are completely unnecessary. he just loves to show off. if he can’t be the flashiest one on the pitch, he’s not happy.

point is, you have no shortage of evidence.

at least, you thought you didn’t.

but then, because the universe loves to prove you wrong, you catch him with a first year.

the first year, a young blond haired boy with eyes full of naïveté and cheeks still round, had been crying. you could even still hear his little sniffles. but then you heard his voice and you couldn’t quite believe your ears.

“we all get down on ourselves sometimes.. yes, even me. but you just gotta believe you can do it. and then one day you will.”

huh.

guess you were wrong.

taehyung

quite frankly... you thought the dude was nuts.

in your defense, it almost seemed as if taehyung tried to actively prove this.

consistently.

the few times you’d actually been in conversation with him, his mind seemed to be split off in a million different directions. like his train of thought had been permanently derailed.

and you were fairly content to leave it at that. but again, someone up there truly seemed to have it out for you.

you’d met him in the astronomy tower of course you did. the stars were out and shining and the moon was bright and full. you hadn’t expected him to be there.

but there he was. smile boxy and mischievous, eyes alight with wonder and curiosity.

he spoke a mile a minute and you’re not sure you were able to gather just about anything he said.

but you realized that night that sometimes a certain beauty comes with madness.

sometimes it’s pretty cool.

jungkook

you didn’t think that jeon jungkook had one. single. flaw.

really, it wasn’t fair.

he was top of his class, total quidditch star, lead in the frog choir AND he seemed to be hogwarts’ biggest stud.

practically the entire student body was head over heels for slytherin’s golden boy (no pun intended).

the professors adored him, doted on him like their own child, the guy was on everybody’s good side. how do you even do that?

you were ready to admit that, perhaps, perfection had found a human form... but then you’d caught him studying.

you’d merely been passing by, taking advantage of your free period, when you’d heard him practicing an incantation in an empty classroom.

he groaned, struggling to conjure up the desired effect. even after several minutes he remained unsuccessful and you thought he’d try again. until suddenly the door handle shook. he exited.

his eyes found yours and in that instant, he realized he’d be caught. and with a sad, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it, downward tilt of his lips he left.

you watched him walk away, stunned completely into silence.

#bts au #hogwarts au #bts hogwarts au #park jimin #hcs #kim taehyung #jimin #v #taehyung #tae #rm #namjoon #kim namjoon #x reader #jin #kim seokjin #hoseok #jung hoseok #yoongi #suga #min yoongi #jungkook #jeon jungkook #slytherin!jungkook #slytherin!yoongi #ravenclaw!taehyung #ravenclaw!namjoon #hufflepuff!hoseok #hufflepuff!jin #gryffindor!jimin

[serahsanguine]

School, Sex and Subterfuge NC-17

Chapter 9 of?

part one, part Two, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8,   AO3

tagging @today-in-fic @skullsmuldon @foxystarbucks @baronessblixen

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Notes; im so sorry this chapter has taken so long to get out i have struggled quite a bit over last few months with depression, writer's block and my three kids. I would make one thing very clear i will never ever leave a story unfinished i have read a story where this has happened and it annoyed me so much. It may months or even years to complete but i will always finish a story this goes for both long-running stories I have.

on a lighter note, I have many many ideas for this story some i really think you will enjoy :)

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Chapter 9; An Answer? 

Mulder knew she was going to be confused but he certainly didn’t expect her to run out on him, maybe a slap or some hateful words but not this. This is something he didn’t not know how to deal with, the confusion of not knowing either way. This is when he truly realized he had hurt her a lot more than he thought and his actions of past events coming back to haunt him. How could he be so stupid?  

He let everything go, his whole heart poured out in words, he was willing to let her in, he had let her get this close. He sat down on the closest seat he could find, the emptiness of the room hitting him like a freight train. He could hear people scuttling about outside the office door. He looked around at the books, the certificates, the countless women he had brought back to these four walls. The memories they had, the stories they could tell but not one of them meaning anything to him in reflection to the memories he had of Dana Scully. The minutes ticked by and silence fell upon the room once more.

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Scully ran and ran her heart racing, blood pumping, breathing fast and uneven. She flew past people, whizzing past the gardens, cars and buses. She ran until her legs could not run anymore. She was in shock, he said I love you, and he wanted to start over. She stopped a couple of miles from campus next to a small lake, the water reflecting the moonlight in all directions, the sun had set and the air was warm. There was peace and silence in the air all around her. The nightlife chipping and chirping as small bats flew above her.

She stared into the open water her mind fogged, her heart bleeding. Could she start over with him? Could she love him? Was she already in love with him? Was Missy right all along and she cared for him deeply? She started walking back to her dorm. The question running over and over in her mind and the answers nowhere to be found. She was torn in two her rational side saying no, but her mind screaming to let him in.

The Next Day.  

She still hadn’t made a discussion on what she was going to do she needed to talk to someone, rationalize it in one way or another. She took Serah out to dinner somewhere different, somewhere she won’t be seen by him. It was a small restaurant, quiet, even for the dinner rush hour. With homemade food from starters to desserts, plus it didn’t cost a lot either. They both sat in the corner booth with a window overlooking the garden and cobblestone road.

Scully explained in a shorter version of everything that happened and Serah just sat there and listened.

Serah took Scully’s hand and clasped it inside her own. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t no Serah, the rational side of me has a bunch of issues,” She looked over at her friend and she just nodded and let her continue.“At the end of the day, he still is my professor, he's older than me.”

“Oh, come on Scully. He may be older than you but not by much it’s only 8 or 9 years and it’s not like your a child, your a beautiful woman with her own mind and age is just a number baby.”

“I suppose you’re right but what would Ahab think? Let alone, my friends? Present company excluded. Should I transfer classes, or just quit going?”

“Wooo, wooo, wooo. Let's answer them one at a time”

“I don’t know what your father would think but if he loved you and could see you were clearly happy with Mulder then I suspect he would be happy too. If your friends can’t see that you are happy with him you don’t need them in your life.  And to answer the last two questions is an unequivocal no. If you were to listen to your heart what would it say?”

That was the question wasn’t it what would her heart say, he was amazing everything about him, his intelligence, his heart and soul, certainly his looks. And come on he is mind-blowing in bed he knows how to treat a woman and make feel her on top of the world. She blushed at that thought.

“If he means that much to you you should at least email him or go to his office.”

Scully looked at her friend with a curious look “Did I say that out loud?”

“Yes dear you did,” Serah said sarcastically smiling from ear to ear.

She blushed hard when she thought about what she said about Mulder in bed. She laughed it off.

“Maybe I will.”

“Humm.”

“Talk to him that is; see where we go from there.”

They both finished up the lunch grabbing their things and headed towards their next lecture.

Several hours later  

It was getting late and many of the students had gone to either the dorms or out into town. Scully stood there at Mulder's door anxiously hesitant to knock, she could see his shadowy figure walking back and forth across the room. Several minutes passed, she was lost in her own thoughts when she lifted her hand to finally knock, he opened the door bowling into her sending papers everywhere.

“Shit I’m sorry,” he said before even looking at who he had run into. She started helping to pick up the papers.

“It’s ok, it was my fault,” she said sheepishly ad he looked up at her and their eyes locked, both frozen in there place.

“Dana.” He said matter of fact.

“Fox.” She replied in the same manner.

He picked up the last of the sprawled papers “Come in.”

“After you.”

They both stepped into his office shutting the door behind them. He placed the papers on the nearest surface and walking through to his private office where they couldn’t be seen.

The atmosphere was tense, so tense you could cut it like butter. The only noise in the room was the gulp of air from the water container and the hum of people chatting walking by. They both stood there not saying a word if a pin were to fall you could hear it shatter around the corners of the room.

She had a whole speech prepared, why they were not good together. What would happen if they were to get caught? But standing in front of his presence she lost all rational thought. Her stomach was in knots. Her heart hammering in her chest, her hands clammy, her mouth dry. But it despite all that she was the one to talk first.

“I love you too,” the words just poured out of her mouth her brain finally caught up with what she had spoken.

His face was in shock but was the kind of shock when someone is happy. She stuttered when she realized what she had said. She went to say something, but secretly she said fuck it, she deserves to be happy and damn to the consequences, at least for now. If something were to happen further down the line they would cross that bridge when they came to it.

She ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, her legs around his waist and kissed him with such force they both toppled to the floor with her on top. He hit the ground with an ugh but they both started laughing hard.

************************************

He was hurt but didn’t care, she had said the words back to him, and he was over the moon. He touched his lips to hers, his hands in her fine silk hair. She pulled away and asked,  

“Why me? Out of everyone, why me?” he looked into her eyes with such clear and understanding and such force without hesitation.

“You’re beautiful, so quick-witted and funny, you keep me on my toes always surprising me. You laugh is infectious and you smile lights up the whole room. You...are my friend, and you told me the truth. Even when the room is full of people, you are my constant... my touchstone. "

Her smile meant everything to him and he didn’t expect her to say anything back not quite yet anyway.

He kissed her neck her body started grinding on top of his, he felt his erection grow underneath his trousers and felt the flush of her skin against his own. His hands sitting on top of her t-shirt just above her hips.

“Mulder please…”

He lifted her top above her head and discarded it on the floor next to them, soon unclasping her bra and discarded that too. She moved her body slightly and it took him no hesitation to take her breast into his mouth letting the nipple roll around underneath the flesh of his tongue. Her hands undoing the buttons on his shirt. She smiled at his bronze chest as she raked her fingers down his stomach before undoing the zipper and button on his trousers then pulling his cock free from his cotton boxers.

“Fuck Scully” she only licked her lips, God those lips he thought and she smiled a wicked smile as she started pumping him at an antagonizing slow pace. He let her continue until he couldn’t take it anymore moving his hands from her hips lifting her skirt. He sat up just a little bit.

“Do you have any idea what wearing this little black mini skirt and black knee-high socks does to me?” he whispered sultry in her ear. Before moving her panties to the side and slipping his fingers through her dripping wet folds.    

“I have…..Jesus Christ” her words left as he could tell she was lost in what he was doing to her he found her bundle of nerves at the apex of her legs.

Swishing, gliding, flicking, rushing and slowing his fingers bringing her to her peak and stopping before lowering her body every so slightly and sliding his member into her opening. He felt her hugging him, clinging even as he filled her up stretching her to her limits. She threw her head back her wet matted hair sticking to her skin. As she let out a moan of pleasure. She placed her hand either side of his head on the floor.

Creating an even deeper angle he let a growl her lips touched his and he took it as a sign to started thrusting into her, her tiny body matching his pace, her naked chest pressed up against his hot flesh. With the sound of their moans and skin slapping skin and the smell of sex clinging to the air.    

“Mulder, I’m so close.”

“Me to let go,” and she did with the force of the world-shattering around her. He moaned right along with her, the height of pleasure exploding in there bodies at the same time.

After a few minutes, they lay spent half-naked on his office floor. He looked down at her.

“Next time I’m taking you to dinner first and make love to you somewhere other than my office floor”

“Maybe you’re apartment?”

“It’s definitely in your future, ” he smiled.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“I hope you do,” he said before holding her close giving her one last hug before helping her up off the floor and finding her clothes. After they finished getting dressed and looking presentable. He looked at her and asked, “so dinner?”

“I didn’t think you meant now?”

“No time like the present," he smirked.

He left the office first and she soon followed slipping into his car hoping no one saw before he drove her to the restaurant for dinner.  

***************************

A MASSIVE HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERY ONE!

#txf fanfic #txf #The X-Files #the x files #the xfiles #mulder and scully #msr fanfic #school sex and subterfuge

[missblissy]

SO I ACCIDENTLY DELETED THE ASK BUUT! Anon asked about my OCs so here they are ;v;

These are my two important children. I do not have their demon forms drawn out yet because THIS IS A VERY OLD REF OF THEM ((I drew this in 2017. I do not have a working tablet but im GETTING ONE FOR CHRISTMAS SO IM GONNA BE DRAWING AGAIN SOON!! This is just their general bio, not necessarily Hazbin hotel))

Sage Helvig:

Age: 26 Gender: Female Race: Mixed. Japanese/Europen Descent.   Status: Alive Build/Body Type/Physical Frame: Smol Height: 4′9″ Weight: 160 lbs Skin: White Hair: Long black hair that stops above her waist, wavy but little to nose curls Eyes: Blue Other defining features/extra anatomy: Has many piercings on her ears, both ears are completely covered with piercings. Voice: Soft-spoken and relatively monotone. Doesn’t express a lot of emotions when speaking. Often mistaken for being tired. Style: POP PUNK!!! EDGY!!! EMO!!!!

Loves/Favorites: - Tol Husband - Magic/Pagan worship - Japanese cuisine and culture - Archery/Bowhunting - Studying Mythology - Pepsi ((She’s addicted)) - ALL BREAKFAST FOOD - And fruits. She prefers fruit over candy - Chemistry - Cleaning ((It’s a form of therapy for her)) - Science ((in general)) - Crabs ((She keeps them as pets and thinks they are the cutest things every)) - Winter and Fall - Swords/Daggers/Blades

Hates: - Candy, like unnaturally sweet things ((like taffy, lemon drops, sour patch kids, etc etc)) - Math - Cooking - Most internet culture. - Evil/Dark spirits/Demons ((Anything malevolent)) - People who don’t know how to shut up about cars - Bugs - Spring and Summer

Hobbies: - Studying different culture’s mythology/history/religions. - Witchcraft/Spellcasting - Demon slaying - Archery - Chemistry - Swordsmanship

Hopes/Dreams: - To one day rid the world of all demonic and malevolent spirits. - Have a daughter of her own and raise her the way she was raised - To become a skilled and honorable Demon Slayer

Fears/Nightmares: - Anything bad happening to Van or her brother - Death - Demonic possession ((Ya know, being possessed and shit)) - Hurting the innocent. - Getting sent to Hell

Best Quality: - She is a skilled Demon Slayer who has seen more combat than the average person. She used a mix of a short bow, rapier and magical abilities when hunting and fighting demons and spirits Greatest Flaw: - She doesn’t put enough trust and faith into those around her. She struggles with taking on to much at once and burning herself out. She tries to hard to fix everything by herself and tends to push the people she cares most away from her. How does the character picture himself/herself? - She doesn’t see or view herself as the legend she is slowly becoming. She’s very humble and feels as though she is at the bottom of the ladder when it comes to anything she does. There is always room for improvement. How do others see him/her? - One of the best Demon Slayers there are out there, many people are fame struck when the come meet her because she is from a long demon slayer that dates back to some of the earliest centries of human culture and society. This causes her and Van to move a lot.

Most valued possession: - The rapier sword that she was gifted too by her father as he died from a fatal wound during a battle with a demon. It is the same rapier sword that she used to kill said demon that murdered her father.

Is he/she motivated by possibility or necessity? - Necessity. She knows that she is needed because there are so few people left on the planet with gifts like hers ((I.e Magical abilities)) How does he/she view the future and/or the past? - Sage thinks there is a grim future for humanity and has little faith in those around her. She tries not to think about the past either but uses it as motivation to keep moving forward. What is his/her philosophy on life and death? - She fears death more than anything, only because she doesn’t know what kind of afterlife she will have. Sage doesn’t think death is the end, and believe there is life beyond death. She wants to live as long as she can, possibly growing old with Van. What kind of energy level do they usually have? Sleepy and depressed. She’s not a bubbly person and is very serious and stoic and quiet.

Does he/she have a temper? Yes but only if you push her to the edge or if she’s been cornered in some way.

Polite or rude? Rude Stingy or generous? Generous Leader or a follower? Leader More happy by themselves or in a group? By herself What is his/her sexual preference/experience/values? - Sage is bisexual, monogamous, and demisexual. Before she married Vanderlinde she dated both men and women. She doesn’t sleep around and find causal sex repulsive ((for her, she doesn’t care what other people do with their sex lives)) -History/Background- - Sage was born from a Japanese mother and a German father. She was born in Japan but her family moved around every few years due to being members of a secret society dedicated to exterminating demons. Her mother is still alive however her father died when she was 17 years old in a fatal battle with a Demon. - She has spent almost her entire life working for a secret society of demon slayers, which she took on as a full-time job after her father died. - Sage has an older half brother named Kael, they share the same mother but a different father. - She received formal schooling through the secret soceity she worked for. She was able to still get her high school education while traveling around the world to slay demons. - She met Vanderlinde when she was 20 years old and after just moving to the United States. Vanderlinde was a priest at the time and Sage had just enrolled in university for a chemistry degree. They quickly fell in love and Sage welcomed Vanderlinde into her secret society with open arms and Vanderlinde happily joined.

((There is so much more to Sage’s backstory I’m just TIRED and SLEEPY so this is all ya’ll get.))

___________________________________________

Vanderlinde Helvig:

Age: 31 Gender: Male Race: Cucasion, Scandinavian descent. Status: Alive Build/Body Type/Physical Frame: Tol Height: 6′0″ Weight: 230 lbs Skin: White Hair: Short blonde fluffy hair Eyes: Green Other defining features/extra anatomy: He has several tattoos, all of them are based of Nordic Mythology, Nordic Ruins, and Scandinavian Vikings Voice: Deep but soothing. Imagine what butter would sound like if it could talk.SMOOTH Style: Business Causal, he’s a professor so he wears a lot of dress shirts and sweaters. This boy loves his cashmere sweaters.

Loves/Favorites: - His smol wife - Music ((He loves pop punk, rock, grunge, metal, etc etc)) - THE LORD ALL MIGHTY - Sunday Prayer - His Students - Teaching - Nordic Mythology - Cooking - PEACE AND LOVE - Coffee and tea. - Summer and Fall - Going to concerts/rock shows - Motorcycles

Hates: - Spring and Winter - Unnecessary arguments/debates - People who refuse to educate themselves - Lazy Students - Grading paper work - People who don’t know how to drive - Demonic/Evil Spirits - Pepsi ((He’s a Coke-a-cola person)) - Alcohol ((And Drunk people. If you are drunk he won’t even try and talk to you))

Hobbies: - Reading - Writing ((He’s written many books about religious study books)) - Exploring the unknown ((He breaks your modern Indiana Jones tbh lmao)) - Providing Exorcisms/religious healing/cleanings - Working out/staying fit - Researching religions and mythology

Hopes/Dreams: - WORLD PEACE - That everyone can be happy and treated equally - To destroy every demonic/evil spirit - To have a child one day, just one. Doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl he’ll love them the same. - To be recognized worldwide for his work and struggles.

Fears/Nightmares: - Losing Sage ((In any way. Like if she’s killed or if she leaves him etc etc.)) - Becoming possessed and harming people. - The Devil/Lucifer/Satan - Demonic spirits ((He’s always afraid of them even if he’d confronted by them)) - Heights/Being up high - The ocean

Best Quality: - Vanderlinde is a very mild-mannered person. It’s hard to piss him off, he’s very calm and collective and has incredible control over his emotions. People often describe him with a “healing” personality and an “open mind.” Greatest Flaw: - He lets his fears control him. Too often he runs away from things that quiet literally scare him. He is not a fighter and doesn’t enjoy fighting, he’d rather run away defend himself or those around him. This often leads people to say he is cowardly. How does the character picture himself/herself? - Vanderlinde sees himself as a weak softy who can’t win a single physically fight. He doesn’t have a lot of self-confidence so he doubts himself and his skills way too much. He thinks he a push-over that anyone could walk all over. How do others see him/her? - Many people view Vanderlinde as an incredibly intelligent and kind professor who cares about his student’s education more than anything in the world. ((Next to his love for Sage)) People describe him as a very kind and loving person with a big heart.

Most valued possession: - His rosary, he carries it with him always. It was a gift to him from a priest that change his views on Christianity and other religions.

Is he/she motivated by possibility or necessity? - Necessity. Vanderlinde knows there aren’t enough people in the world fighting the dark forces. He knows it is his duty to educate the masses about what is going on when no one is looking. How does he/she view the future and/or the past? - Vanderlinde hopes for a pretty and peaceful future, a safe world where his child can grow up without fear. What is his/her philosophy on life and death? - Vanderlinde does not fear death, he knows that he is going to Hell anyway, so he might as well enjoy his life to the fullest until that day comes. What kind of energy level do they usually have? He’s very relaxed, calm and cool. He’s known for wearing a comforting smile and using healing words to lift people up and make them feel better about themselves.

Does he/she have a temper? No. Vanderlinde has incredible control over his emotions. Even when he’s pissed off he’s still nice, happy, and trying his best to please others.

Polite or rude? Polite Stingy or generous? Generous Leader or a follower? Leader More happy by themselves or in a group? By himself What is his/her sexual preference/experience/values? - Vanderlinde is a straight monogamous male. He’s experimented before here and there but he prefers women for the most part. He is very private about his sex life and gets very uncomfortable when people talk/ask about it. -History/Background- - Vanderlinde grew up in an orphanage for wayward boys, he never knew his parents and refuses to look into them. He was born in the United States. He doesn’t want to know why or how he ended up at the orphanage. It was run by a Catholic church, where he grew up with a deep faith in the Lord. He began to question his faith when the Priest he looked up to had passed away. - Around 18 years old Vanderlinde left the orphanage and went on a soul searching journal across the United State. He was homeless during this time as he traveled cross country, drinking, doing drugs and learning about all different types of faith. When he turned 20 he turned back to the Church and became a priest for the next five years. - He met Sage when he was 25, she was 20 at the time. Because she was a pagan witch, Vanderlinde was punished for getting himself involved with her. At the same time, he also got in trouble for researching other religions other than Christianity. He chose to renounce his priesthood and left the church because he did not agree with their rules. After that, Vanderlinde worked towards becoming a professor at the local university where he could freely research and teach others - After he fell in love with Sage, Vanderlinde joined her secret society, more than happy to join a cause he believed in and was willing to fight for.

((Again, there is so much more to Vanderlinde’s back story but Im just so tired and I wanted to quickly summarize the 20 pages I have for these two dorks.))

#writes #writing #texts #25th #November #2019 #November 25th 2019 #lkjdflkghs;dflkjgdf #OC;; Sage #OC;; Vanderlinde #THANK U FOR ASKING ANON IM SORRY I ACCIDENTLY DELETED THE ASK #AAAAAA #lfkdjghslkdfjg #dfgkjsdfhgksdfg #sdfg #sdf #gs #dfg #as #d #asd #s

[html-fuck-blog]

Dissertation Outline

Look, man, I know I’m supposed to be meeting ur deadline and writing ur 50 million words on why I wanna fucking stay in this course, cause that’s what it is, isn’t it? I mean, in this day and age, what is the dissertation really for if not for hitting ur grade quota.??

 We all know u folk have a job to do and targets to meet, but I refuse to believe that means fucking us about and making us feel like the tiniest Lil bitches on the planet when, in reality, have u watched ur selves?? Eh, Jim? Have u watched the Lil video of ur ‘performance’ on Micheals y2k phone?? Nah, I bet u haven’t cause u just know for sure it was the best piece of work you’ve done and ur so proud u did that in front f ur students, the people ur supposed to be inspiring, well do u know what u inspired us to do??? Become stand up comedians bc honestly, there’s nothing else we can do with the amount of content u gave us.

 I cant find value in the dissertation. I cant find value in the course. And I can’t see value in yourselves.

 “I cannot tell u what u should write about.” – Jon Blackwood

 “let’s be pragmatic about ur beliefs”- Jon Fucking Blackwood.

 U know what big man, it was condescending, it was fucking rude, and I can’t get my head around someone of ur stature saying something along those lines to a student. I think most of u forget ur are teachers and not just full-time artist’s “living their lives” we are here for nothing other than learning, not becoming ur friends, or bitching with y’all while smoking. Now yes, I know that’s fun and might be the only bonus of being an artist, y’ know the community we all have, but that community has to be built on respect, and y’ ain’t gonna get it if u don’t listen to what we are laying down. It is not about u guys. It’s not about “who” taught us, it’s the fact we got educated.

 Its not happening tho.

 We’re becoming Glasgow School of Art, money, and grades over actual fucking humanity.

 This is art school mate, not everyone is here to get an A, some of us are here because we have something to say. And this is the only space we have. Do not make that space smaller for ur own benefit.

 Here’s the problem, I’ve presented my issues with both sides. With students and with lecturers. The students get it. They get the idea, they get the problem, they get several solutions, they are open-minded and supportive. The lecturers, shut u down, tell u that you’ll be eaten alive, say ur ideas aren’t realistic because people might not understand, make sure u don’t wanna have an original idea again, will never open a book and teach themselves something new. 

 Like are u afraid that if u learn something else that u might explode? Are u seriously worried that u might step out of ur fucking comfort zone and realise that the sky is more than just blue, it is not a colour it’s a scientific reaction that means more than any atom in ur body ever could. The grass is not just green, it is a life force determined to cover this earth with more knowledge than u could fathom. But no one is asking u to be einstien or hawking. They are asking u to be human. To care enough. To look at the planet that u live on and beg that there is more than u can see. Honestly, it’s not much. If u just spent one minute on wiki-fucking-pedia, u would understand that u are not some petulant teenager who knows everything. The world is spreadin around u faster than u can blink. So take a minute. It might change ur perspective.

 I know I probably come across like a teenager myself right now, and I have a few responses,

I am closer to being a child than anyone else ‘teaching’ us

Im fucking stressed

This art school is becoming a shambles

I literally don’t care

Soz not soz 

I want to be able to give more than a thousand-word rant about this situation, but there isn’t much to say.

 I can only say that being part of the “snowflake” culture is weirdly inspiring bc at no point before us would we be able to come forward IRL, sobbing and still be angry. We got our emotions, and we ain’t afraid to show them. So, here I am, sobbing and fuming. I do not want a tough love approach, that will make me do nothing but drop out. I am a fumbling mess who looks for reassurance at every turn and if I don’t get it? This petulant teenager will throw a tantrum, alone, in the bathroom, then pretend nothing happened.

 That fact of the matter is, I don’t have a problem with writing or reading, or studying or whatever, I enjoy it. I type fucking thousands of words just to rant about one shitty meeting, u think I wouldn’t love writing eight thousand words on something I’m passionate about? Ur right, I would love it; what I hate is someone literally shitting on OG ideas just because he can’t wrap his little baldy brain around it??? Like how does that seem fair?? Did u think I was born with this knowledge? Or do u think I went out and learned something new for myself because im a fully(*) functioning adult??? Oh yeah, I did, fancy that. I’m sure someone with a Ph.D. could get to grips with reading a new book, couldn’t they? Sorry if I’m coming across condescending, I’m just saying what I think. I think, Jon, that maybe u worry every day that someone might come along and be smarter than u and trust me I ain’t saying that it’s me, that would be a whole other level of egotism, but I am saying that u are not the smartest man in the world, in fact ur probs not even on the list. But that’s not a bad thing, it just means u need re-evaluate ur stance in society, cause u ain’t up there with them, ur down here with us sweetie.

(*) I bought a vegetable once – receipt lost -2018 

[hipsterfrankcastle]

ok i got tagged in this TWICE by the lovely @carry-the-sky and @heidiamalia so let’s goooo

1. how tall are you? 5′8

2. what color and style is your hair?

Currently like a weird.... gingery brown vibe.... the style is what i like to call “poorly box died”. but im like an anime protagonist my hair has been a lot of dumb colours

3. what color are your eyes?

hazel

4. do you wear glasses?

yep!

5. do you wear braces?

not any more

6. what is your fashion style?

weird mix of incredibly formal workwear worn at casual occasions and like..... someone from an ivy park fashion shoot who can’t afford to buy actual ivy park. idk. athleisure shit. but mostly jeans and t-shirts these days seeing as i NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE

7. full name? not today, satan

8. when were you born? 1995

9. where are you from and where do you live now? i grew up in the southwest of england. still here....

10. what school do you go to?

uni of york

11. what kind of student are you?

oh man. i am the Most. v extra. i used to study too much. 

12. do you like school? uh Hell Yeah. i like structure, organised fun, being surrounded by my pals. i try not to nostalgise it tho because there were times i was very very stressed out. why do we put so much pressure on teenagers?? good lord. uni sucked ass but i liked the actual study side of it (masters im coming for you!!)

13. what are your favourite school subjects?

english lit (shocking no one), philosophy and ethics, drama (even tho i sucked ass), history

14. favorite TV shows? too many. the hour and in the flesh are all time faves. i looooove us sitcoms i’ve watched the office maybe 13 times through. maybe more, actually. parks and rec, brooklyn 99, 30 rock (great news was such a severely underappreciated tina fey classic). fleabag. broadchurch, black mirror, the handmaid’s tale blehhhh i could go on for hours.

15. favorite movies? im just going to put 2 because otherwise we will be here for days. the darjeeling limited and joe wright’s pride and prejudice. oh wait. no and the new world. and days of heaven. can’t miss my boy malick off there. 

16. favorite books? UHHH a little life (all time fave please read but maybe google some trigger warnings or ask me about it), my year of rest and relaxation, the english patient, the secret history (basic lol), stoner.... tHERE’S TOO MANY.

17. favorite pastime? i like walking my dogs. spending time with my dogs. taking photos of my dogs. other things that don’t include my dogs like watching movies (duh), writing, reading, recently gotten into film photography. im realising now this question didnt ask for a list oop moving on

18. do you have any regrets? yeah. my uni degree. quitting my job (one of those ones where you know it’s what was best for you at the time but now, looking back, it SUCKS). oh. yeah. deciding to lose two stone in the space of five minutes and developing an eating disorder and HAVING TO QUIT MY JOB. that’s a big one. not going to the editing lab with a guy the morning after we kissed. that one felt like a sliding doors situation. 

19. dream job? baker. book editor. pro dog walker.  im realising all of these are fairly achievable. 

20. would you like to get married someday? nope nope nope!! well. maybe. if i find someone REALLY good.

21. would you like to have kids someday? hahahahahahahah no.

23. do you like shopping? yes but im trying to less because capitalism is a scourge and im trying to unlearn its various teachings including how our shopping habits make us feel/how the fashion industry affects body image. plus it’s terrible for the environment. shout out to my therapist for teaching me all this shit.

24. what countries have you visited? a lot of europe (holland germany belgium spain france poland scotland italy greece that’s not a lot actually), USA, australia, new zealand. i wanna hit california next cause ive been to new york twice now.

25. what’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? ermmmmm oh man. uhh. i have a lot of horrible nightmares bcos ---trauma lmao. cant think of one standout one.

26. do you have any enemies?

quentin tarantino. OH and this one girl on my film course at uni. she doesn’t know that we’re enemies. but we are. 

27. do you have an s/o?

hahahahahhahahahah

28. do you believe in miracles? uh. no? dont think so. im not very spiritual, but i do believe sometimes that the universe sends you signs (even if really it’s just your brain trying to tell you something your subconscious is trying to tell you by interpreting the world around you a certain way)

thank you so much for the tags. i love talking about myself as you can tell. i think everyone i know has been tagged so. if you’re reading this. you’re tagged!

also if anyone ever has any questions about any details of my personal life. ask me. i will tell you anything. like i said. loooove talking about myself. 

#personal #ask tag

[doctormage]

hi i just need to be really dramatic and long winded bc if i dont get it Out im going to fucking explode

ive actually been trying really hard this semester with my thesis and its REALLY fucking difficult for me. my depression makes me catatonic and unable to complete simple tasks or be motivated to do literally anything; my anxiety paralyzes me at the slightest unexpected change and then obsess over whether everyone in my life hates me because of my anxiety; my sleep schedule is constantly fucked and my doctor is unhelpful; my bdd will sidetrack me from my work and responsibilities for literal hours or days, and sometimes if its feeling spicy send me on a full scale fucking breakdown; and my adhd makes all this shit worse on TOP of all the NORMAL adhd shit. like thats just!!! my life!!!! at all times!!!!! and there have been several times where i have genuinely considered leaving this program or not continuing school after bc i was so fucking overwhelmed and exhausted and scared but i didnt!!! like i make a lot of jokes about procrastinating and wasting my time and doing the least and whatever but in reality its really fucking difficult for me even when im medicated!!! but i dont like admitting that bc of all my exhausting childhood baggage and shit but that is not the point of this rant so anyway

this semester i made a specific effort to try and be a better student even tho all of this stuff has been exacerbated by grad school. i felt i owed it to my director and one of my committee members because theyve been so fucking helpful and put their faith in me and took a lot of their time to help me. i wanted to show them i was worthy of it and capable of being a good student who does all the shit she’s supposed to do, does it well, and does it on time. i overloaded my fall semester and nearly lost my goddamn mind JUST to have a lighter class load this semester so i could focus most of my time on my thesis (like for real that was actually incredibly stupid of me. i lost almost 30 pounds from september to december without conscious effort just because i was so fucking stressed. not a brag and actually kind of concerning bc that has LITERALLY never happened to me). it has been like....significantly taxing, but i wanted to show them how much i appreciate their time and effort and help by being responsible and respectful. my Trying Hard is a lot of people’s Barely Doing Their Best and i know that. turning something in 2 hours early is below average for some but for me, literally anything more than 30 minutes before its due is an actual goddamn miracle. but i wanted to work hard and do things right for my committee members because they deserve it

this christmas my parents asked what i wanted and the ONLY thing i asked for was help with my library dues. last year from like march to october i was significantly depressed and entirely out of my head, and i racked up some pretty bad overdue fees. i didnt even ask them to pay all of it, just some of it. less than $100. im really truly grateful for the gifts they DID get me, but i didnt ask for them for any of it, and my overdue fees were left alone. i was under the impression that they got paid and, like a fucking idiot, i didnt check up on it to confirm. ive been so hell deep in my thesis and teaching and grading and applying to phd programs and looking for apartments and shit that it really just slipped my fucking mind!!! crazy!!!!

today i was in crisis bc i thought i fucked up with scheduling my defense/exam/whatever the fuck. im going to call it defense and i dont give a shit bc everyone calls it some other shit and i dont CARE. anyway i really thought i fucked up but i went and talked it out with my director and it was all sorted out. i’ve gotten like 50% of her feedback on my thesis draft, which i’ve incorporated, and im waiting on comments from another reader (the other helpful person on my committee). we have to run some dumbass software before scheduling, so i ran it today and tried to schedule it but couldnt bc theres a hold on my account. i went on a fucking....ALMIGHTY QUEST to figure it out and i finally discovered that guess what!!!!!!! its my GODDAMN LIBRARY OVERDUE FEES!!!!!! THAT I THOUGHT WERE PAID!!!!!!! i had to pay them myself which is fine idc but it takes several days to process. this fucks up my life on SEVERAL levels

for one, its fucking impossible to get a hold of my third committee member. she is a vapor in the wind. shes like super busy and thats all good and well but the point is theres like zero communication there. i finally got confirmation on a defense date from all 3 members and had been literally planning MY ENTIRE LIFE around this date. after todays first scheduling crisis i was so happy i was still on track, but now this? now i have to wait 3-4 days before i can even SCHEDULE the defense. the super delightful part is that we have to schedule a minimum of 2 weeks in advance. so now i cant schedule my defense until tuesday at the absolute earliest, but that ALSO bumps my defense date several days ahead. i have no fucking clue if my committee is going to agree on another day that works for everyone bc theyre all busy as shit and we’d been working toward the original date for weeks if not months, and im so fucking upset because this is exactly what i DIDNT want to have happen. i havent tried to email them yet because im hoping beyond fucking hope i can call somebody at the university tomorrow and see if the hold is something else besides the fee, but it makes me sick to think of having to be like “oh sorry i know i constantly fuck up everything ever and im a piece of shit but can we change this date we’ve had set since january because i was an extra shitty piece of shit this time??” like OHHH MY GODDDDD

and the thing thats really fucking with me is that like, yes its my fault but this one time its not ENTIRELY 100% my fault. i asked for a favor and had the understanding that it was taken care of. yes the fees were my doing and yes i shouldve checked but oh my fucking god. i feel like all the effort ive put into being a better student this semester has been for fucking nothing because im going to have to email my committee asking for a different date and ruin all their fucking lives and theyll be so disappointed in me. i have like legitimately been crying on and off about it since like 4:30 today

it so shitty in and of itself but i especially dont want to do this to my director bc she is legitimately the reason im finishing this program AND that im going to a phd program. a year ago i’d barely spoken 20 words to her but she still agreed to be a reader on my committee just because she heard me explain my thesis for all of 30 seconds and decided to give it a try. she literally had not read a song of ice and fire at the time and she started reading them for me to help me with my thesis. in the fall when my original director basically threatened to leave my committee if i didnt change all my ideas, my current director stepped in and helped me and talked me through it and then offered to take her place even though my research is BARELY distantly related to hers. through all of this she’s been so insanely patient with me, super encouraging of my ideas both in this project and in others, helped me decide whether it was right for me to get my phd immediately after my masters, proofed and edited and helped me with ALL my phd application materials, and STILL is in the process of reading these goddamn books just to be a better director. i have lost my head so many times and shes always been there to help me figure my shit out, and i wanted to have it figured out for once. how stupid of me

like bumping the date isnt the end of the whole world but its really not just about the fact that i have to reschedule. i was trying real goddamn hard to be a better student this semester and i REALLY fucking owed it to my director and other reader, but especially director, and i still managed to fuck up this bad. i feel like such a DISAPPOINTMENT and it just will not leave my brain bc im so mad at myself. i tried watching shows and youtube compilations about game of thrones and shit but now my bf is asleep and im alone and its all i can think about. im so fucking tired of being the person i am honestly and i dont mean that in an edgy way its just like jesus christ i wish there was less shit wrong with me. i wish i had any kind of willpower or discipline so i couldve learned these skills and been a better student from the start. i wish i wasnt a giant piece of shit!!!!! 

and now im going to be up late being anxious about all this which means that i will, once again, wake up late but also still be really exhausted, which means i’ll do a shitty job teaching and get overwhelmed by everything and who the fuck knows what fun bullshittery will ensue because of it. i am so fucking tired of me and my fuckery and the fact that it fucks with other people even why i try so hard for it not to. tired!!!!!!!! fucking tired

#p #this is literally like an essay #on why im a piece of shit lmao #ignore me!!!!!!

[thewriterwhodreamed]

Twelve Years Prior: Chapter Four:Part Two

Within three weeks I had been adopted by my family, but they didn't even have a real birthday for me, just one they had assumed was as close as possible as they could get.

    I was a nobody, I came from nowhere. I had no origin.

    Even the library confirmed it.

    Tomorrow was Christmas and I was stuck in library treadin names upon names, and realizing that not only would I get absolutely nowhere, but that I was beginning to fall asleep.

    The dark clutches of slumber enchanting me, beckoning me, to come and bask in itself.

    And my eyes were obeying and my mind could no longer process words.

    "Ever the student, Ms. Skotàdi?" The voice sounded familiar, a cool, calm and composed voice, I should have known it, in fact, my brain was screaming that i knew the person, but my eyes wouldn't open so i could look at him.

    "Mmm…"

    "No witty come back. Too tired perhaps?" All i can manage at the moment is a slight nod, as my head finally falls into the book I was reading. "You are so much like her. So, bright and brilliant, and a complete outcast from the rest."

    "Hmm?" In losing touch in reality.

    "And you joined Slytherin, only making you more of an outcast."

    "Slygherthy?" I mumble out in a comfortable sigh.

    "As soon my I laid my eyes upon you, all i could see were her, are your, eyes staring back at me."

    "Love." I mumble contently. He chuckles and it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard in the world.

    "I suppose, yes. Come Skotàdi, let's get you to your dorms. I will not be leaving a student in the presence of unhonorable adults." I open my eyes just enough to see the outline of him, the unmistakable outline.

    "Aren't you of questionable presence, Snape?" I mumble and pray he can make out the words.

    "Far less than those around us." I nod, not wanting to argue for my brain was beginning to hurt. He comes over and flips the cover of the book over.

    The Genealogy of Magical Families, it read on the front.

    "A bit boring for you isn't it?"' He closes the book and pulling out his wand he levitates the book back to where it belongs.

    "Notif you've nofamily." I slur together. He takes my right arm and slings it around his neck, and he lays a hand upon my waist and lifts my entire body up out of the chair and lets me lay all my weight into him. He takes a step and i fumble over my own feet.

    "I cannot walk for you, Rhayella." He says coolly, and for the first time in my life, I don't correct him. I don't tell him that I don't go by that, that my full name is only reserved for those close to me. That the only people who call me that are my parents.

    I had spent two or three consecutive nights in the library reading and researching, I hadn't eaten or drinken anything, and had no sleep either. My body was more than fatigued, it was ready to blackout.

    As i tried to take a step I fell forward, and expected to hit the cold hard ground, but instead a pair of arms caught me around my waist and i was pressed against a warm firm body, and all I wanted to do was sleep against this person.

    "When was your last break?"

    "Four days ago." A small sigh escapes his lips.

    "Forgive me." He reaches down at the joint of my knees to pick me up bridal style, and i2let out an exhausted sigh with eyes half closed, and slowly and gingerly wrap my arms around his neck and nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck.

    "You kind."

    "To you?" A pause. "Perhaps."

    He spoke to me as he carried me back to the school and eventually to the dorms, where he set me on one of the leather couches and pulled a blanket over me.

    He put the back of his hand against my head, and it was burning hot.

    The next thing I knew, a fire was going, and he was feeding me soup.

    I was shivering terribly, frozen down to my core.

    I hadn't taken care of myself and in turn I had come down with a cold, and it's when it finally hit me. The smell.

    It was of alcohol, fire whiskey to be exact, and Snape was doused in it.

    "You were drinking?" It was supposed to be a statement but it didn't come out that way, but he looked up at me nonetheless, those cool calculating eyes taking in my green one's.

    "It's none of your concern." He slings out in a loe and steady voice.

    "It is if you're my professor." I snap, and his eyes narrow slightly.

    "Pray tell, what, would, you, do?" I roll my eyes and stare him right back down.

    "I'd tell you to leave, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

    "You've not that, look at your current, predicament." He,sets the,bowl and,spoon down.

    "I don't care what you think i can and can't do, you need to take care,of yourself too, besides,you should be right back out there with your friends and family. Drinking yourself merry, it's what my family does." He looks down.

    "My parents are gone, Rhayella, and the only friend I've got is constant reminder if the love I lost." He stokes the fire, focusing his attention upon the wood in front of him.

    "Who was she?" I plead in the quietest voice manageable.

    "A friend."

    "I remind you of her then?" He doesn't do anything, just keeps his back to me.

    Threw only light is the fire, casting a warm golden glue join the room, and enchanting 6 it with its heavenly smell.

    I realized that this could become romantic very fast if I want careful, and decor all the warning bells going off in my head, I still made means you approach the potions teacher.

    "You shouldn't be moving." Istand and allow myself the pleasure of gaining blood back into my head before moving to sit next to him.

    "Have I ever listened to you?"

    "Your defiance will get you in trouble one day, maybe not from me, but from someone." I lean my head against his shoulder and let out a content sigh.

    "Perhaps." A beat. "Tell me about her."

    "Who?" He croaks out.

    "Your friend I remind you of, I want to know why you grieve so deeply for her." The fire dims and his arm slowly snakes its way around my waist, allowing him to pull me closer into him.

    "She was very much like you, her hair was ginger though, not fiery red and-"

    "Do you like the colour?" He leans his cheek upon my head.

    "You're not going to get another opportunity like this Rhayella, do you want my story or n it?" He hisses into my ear.

    "Im sorry, please,continue."

    "She was quieter than you. But you both have the same charms…" One heavey blink. "Charismatic just like you too..." The next blink my eyes stayed closed longer than they should have.

    "Gorgeous…" This time my eyes shut permanently and i couldn't focus in his words any longer, and i was fighting, resisting the call of sleep.

    "I loved her." My mind perked up and then went back to its inbetween phase. "And ever since I laid my eyes upon you-" I never got to hear what was at the end of that sentence, for it was then that my body and mind decided to fail me, and take it's well earned rest.

    I would have liked to have said that I woke up with the sun on my face, but instead I woke up to the sea serpent screaming in my head.

    '*Up,*" it hissed at me. *'Get up!'* I sat straight up in bed and out the window I saw the same snake as before glaring at me through the window.

    "What's wrong?"

    *'Someone is at your door.'* Not realizing that I was dressed in stale clothes that were four days old, I ran to the common room and found Professor Snape standing next to a window, staring out into the water.

    "Professor?" My voice is a barley a squeak, as its sore and parched.

    "It's past noon, Skotàdi. Perhaps you could explain why you did not come down for breakfast…" He trails off, and I can see there's no part of the man of last night left in him.

    "I slept in, Snape." I give as much of a hiss as I can with a sore voice, and he slowly turns around and closes the distance between us so that he is towering over me.

    "That's Professor to you."

    "And miss, to you." His face got closer to mine, and I began to stand on my toes to reach his height, but even if I stood tip toe, I,would still be several inches,shorter.

    He got right up into my face, he was so close i could,feel his hot breath against my face.

    "Do not test me, Rhayella" he whispers my first name, and once again, I do not tell him to not call me that.

    In fact, hearing my name upon his lips, was like music to my ear. It was heavenly, pronounced perfectly.

    I closed the remaining distance and placed my lips upon his.

    At first we were both shocked as to what I was doing, and then instinct kicked in, and my lips had a mind of their own, and suddenly he was kissing me back.

    My hands found his long black hair and i made afist with his locks and cupped the of his neck with the other.

    His hands traveled down my sides, from shoulders and eventually to settle upon my hips, tracing every inch and every curve there was.

    He was my potions teacher, my professor, possibly even a,confidante, and I was kissing him.

    And as wrong as it should have been, it was right. I had,never felt so confident that this was right in my life.

    And then without warning he pulled away, and i let out a groan.

    "This isn't right." He mutters breathlessly against my lips. I nod in understanding, but nit agreement.

    "Perhaps, but it feels right." My voice was still pained but i managed.

    "You need to wait." I break away from him, my eyes pained.

    "What?" I Breathe.

    "Just until you're older." He looks pained too, but,it,only makes me hurt more.

    "Im old enough now!" I protest, but he begins to walk away.

    "No, you're not." He reaches,the door and my heart breaks.

    "Fine, but don't leave." I plead with him, and he stops. "Just, don't leave, I don't want to be alone." I see his body rise and then fall.

    "I have business I must attend to, but you have my word that I will be back. In the meantime, get some food, Rhayella." And he walks through the door, leaving me alone in the room.

#fanfic #fanfiction #harry potter #Hermione #ron #ron weasley #snape #severus snape #dumbledore #minerva mcgonagall #hagrid #fred weasley #tons of snape #student and professor #student and teacher #sorry not sorry #snape has a heart? #love #wuv true wuv #salazar slytherin #tom riddle #lord voldemord #voldemort #even more snape...

[themeltedheadaches]

ALL THE ASKS DO IT unless ur too busy #collegelife love u ❤❤❤❤

LOVE U BOO never too busy for u (also using this to procrastinate on my french composition so)

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

i eat my cereal………………….dry…………..

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

YES that’s literally my life now. i love it but also my nose was running today all the way to get coffee in downtown. i was in THREE LAYERS it is not even DECEMBER

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

answered! :)

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

if i’m going to be a bitch and just get plain coffee, i’m gonna get it black bc otherwise i’ll just have a white mocha or a cappuccino or something (the ppl at the campus coffeeshop know who i am. they know my order. “one sin-ful latte coming up!” thank u for fueling my Addition.) i take my tea with milk and sugar if it’s black tea ((earl gray)) or with honey if it’s green tea. if it’s white tea i’ll sometimes have it with sugar, and if it’s something like peppermint or lavender or chamomile i’ll just have it plain. IM A PICKY BITCH

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

i used to be! but now i like it. 

6: do you keep plants?

YES pls pray for them

7: do you name your plants?

answered! :)

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

poetry! i like to watercolor too, actually, though i left them at home :(

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

YES i miss my car bc that’s when i would have Prime Time to sing and hum to myself or along to whatever song i live for at the moment. (i’m into a musical rn and i can’t yell the lyrics out i’m so ANnoyed Always)

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

answered!

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

i have fucking countless at home……. at college there are quite a few too! as in: “hypothetically, vodka?,” “fuckinG,,,WHAT,” “[blow twice] [slurp sound] [tongue click] noice.,” “SHPEAKERSH OHN!,” “over there! like, over there? over there. over there?,” “just going to go kick some nutria,” and of course, the classic, “same, but jewish.” 

12: what’s your favorite planet?

URANUS actually tho it’s uranus. i had to do my planet project on it in the 4th grade and i gave my brother AND mother silent treatment for two days bc they laughed at its name. i’m very protective

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

i saw my favorite puppy on campus again today!! he’s grown so much!! also my poetry professor’s wife had a successful surgery! #GoMeredith 

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

SO MESSY………………….listen. @michelle i’ve seen ur room, and i would just accept that that is how we live now and it’s fine. it would also be aesthetic as fuck tho tbh. full of yarn and animal fur. and books. and junk food #RIFP

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

if saturn’s rings were a meter long, they would be 10000 times thinner than a razorblade! what the fuckkkkkkkkkkk

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

UHHHHH fucking;;;;;;;;what how am i supposed to #represent my italian fmaily with this DISGUSTING question,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, jk i fuckig love risotto, just ur basic bitch peas and cheese risotto and i’ll cry. also?? gnocchi!! holy shiiiiiiiit. 

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

my hair has such good color i’d actually rather shave it all off than dye it :/

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

HHHHHHHH yesterday. LITERALLY yesterday. there was a french club meeting that served cheese and bread! so i took my Good Friend WIliam (who is not in french, unlike me), and we walk into the room, and i say “helLO!” bc that’s good manners, when you’re going to just get food and leave, and it’s dead silent. i get food and leave. william has told everyone in our entire hall twice.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

answered!

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

i’m so biased……….but……..brown………..

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

my brown leather one! it’s actually super fake leather and i got it from target!! but it’s cute and small and somehow fits everything i need to put in it, including 3 beers and my wallet and 2 phones last weekend. i’ve had for 4 years now 

22: are you a morning person?

yes! i like waking up early actually 

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

go on youtube and waste time, or walk around campus/downtown with friends, or shop!

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

yes

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my cousin’s RV

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

my brown leather boots! wow there’s a trend here lmao. actually i’ve had two pairs of these bc my first was falling apart?? i used them first in a cosplay……in the 7th grade………..(i was matt from death note and to this day i’m STILL not fucking ashamed, i had the wig and goggles and everything.) i love them and wear them all the time, they’re so comfy and warm and stylish and i feel like a hacker badass everytime i wear them. still to this day.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

bubblegum gives me hives i do Not enjoy it :(

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset!

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

one of my friends down the hall will call things/ppl “cute as pie” completely genuinely!! i love her!!

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

oh yeah

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

i fucking love them thanks end of story. wearing them makes me feel cozy and put together and also atm my dorm floor is Disgusting. i sleep with them when it’s cold and my feet are dry! i have so many fun socks it’s great. i love them. socks are highly underrated.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

my friend and i were driving around evERYWHRE basically, we went from pasadena/san marino to like. hollywood all the way to beverly hills and back and it was wonderful, we stopped 3 times to chase stray cats, take shitty pictures, go to iHop, and almost died several times bc hE SNAPS AND DRIVES at NIGHT on LA FREEWAYS

33: what’s your fave pastry?

croissants, followed by scones, followed by coffeecake 

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

bunny the stuffed bunny! she’s pretty large, like as long as my torso! she’s white fabric with colored fluffy bits and very floppy, loose ears. she has green button eyes that i had my grandma sew on bc otherwise she actually scared me a bit when i was a kid, but i loved her anyway bc my great-grandmother sewed her for me in the first place. bunny still lives on my bed at home! 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

YES! i ddon’t use them very often though bc i feel like i should save them for something. rip me

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

stromae hands down

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

clean….i’m so lazy tho

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

sudden loud noises, being startled, being touched physically when i don’t expect it, someone making assumptions about me, being dismissed, being told what i want or what i’m going to do, borrowing something of mine w/o telling me, being interrupted 

39: what color do you wear the most?

HONESTLY black bc i’m an emo bitch

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

one i’ve been wearing a lot is the fork ring i got from the portland saturday market! it’s literally the tines of a vintage fork separated from the part you hold, sanded down so it’s round, and looped into a ring shape. i fidget with it a lot and it reminds me of my mom and step-dad, bc i got it when i was with them. i wear it mostly everyday tbh

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

new american best friend by olivia gatwood in general, or thick as thieves by megan whalen turner when i re-read it out loud to my mom on the ride up to college

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

yeeeeeeS i have several! the bistro, which is on campus: it’s so comfortable, it has couches everywhere and board games and so many books and zines and the walls are half chalkboard so there’s always art or snark everywhere. the music is super eclectic (it was lorde yesterday, today when i went in it was old-school 90s rap), plus it’s student run so the coffee and pastries and food are SO GOOD. the archive, which is downtown, is really boujee as fuck but it’s SO COOL. it’s so fucking aesthetic, with brown leather stools and uncomfortable booths and vintage books and stuff everywhere. for half the day, it’s a coffeeshop, and after 7, it becomes a bar. then back home, of course, coffee bean and tea leaf is the classic

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

half my hall when we went star tripping at the start of the year!

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

honestly the last time it was genuine was probably around…….january? i was in so much emotional pain and grief, but i was surrounded by family who loved me and were in that same pain and were so happy i was with them to help and be there with them. i wasn’t serene per say, or at peace, but there was this equilibrium….

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yes!

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

my RA told me this one this morning: did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory in france this morning? de-brie everywhere! 

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

tomatoes 

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

spiders, YES

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i do…………………….. it was the soundtrack to romeo et juliette (2010)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

everything; stickers, pressed flowers, rocks, receipts 

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

the easiest one is when i think of my roommate, davey the dog’s barking cover of “do the hustle”

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

ew

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

no, yes, no, no, it was okay

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

ME, BITCH

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

chugged an an entire pitcher of water to prove i could, three times

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

genuineness! vulnerability! eye contact! fidgeting!

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

made me feel PUMPED, and of course i did

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

i am both

59: what’s your favorite myth?

uHHHHHHHHHH i love the myth of beowulf actually bc i had to do a project on it once, i have a soft spot for it, i love all myths tho wtf

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

YES,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, recently some of my favorites are the entirety of a montage of a dream deferred by langston hughes, “totem sonnets” by sherman alexie, “on earth we’re briefly gorgeous” by ocean vuong, “one art” by elizabeth bishop

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

stupid gifts are nonexistent :/

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

noooo

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

yes lmao…….i kinda leave them be but i don’t like it if i let someone borrow them and they trash them uGH

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

Pitch Black

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

YES

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

morning glories, lavender, baby’s breath!

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

very good, thankfully, bc i am in oregon

68: what’s winter like where you live?

in LA, it’s cold and sweet and late and breathless and i adore it

69: what are your favorite board games?

jenga, clue, ??

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

NONONONONO

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

peppermint for mornings, earl gray for evenings!

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

yes, sadly

73: what are some of your worst habits?

biting the skin around my fingers, bouncing my knees incessantly, procrastinating on my french compositions……

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

well there’s this amazing person who i met in freshman year german…….;)

75: tell us about your pets!

i WISH

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

yes :(

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

pink of course

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i am the true hateclub: i don’t react. do not give them power. they Feed off of your Hatred

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

get me flowers, surprise me with chocolate, come up to me and compliment me on my writing, etc!!

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

at home my walls are a soft orangey-peach, which is picked bc i love it. here, my walls are very very white, which i did not pick, but am neutral towards.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

circuit-board chips busted open

82: are/were you good in school?

ehhhhhhh

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

MELODRAMA

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

yes! a minimalistic double-delight rose for my great-grandmother, “love ya!” in my grandpa’s handwriting, maybe a nutshell with a crown over it (for the “king of infinite space” bit in hamllet), possibly “soyez réaliste, demandez l’impossible!” (be realistic, demand the impossible!) from the french student revolution in the 60s

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

somewhat, def hawkeye or the young avengers bc i’m basic :/

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

the only one i’ve rlly ever listened to is fucking danger days, so i worship them obviously

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

i think ppl should make their own agendas :/ however, i have deeply loved secondhand lions, up, moonlight, the grand budapest hotel, and other basic bitch things

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

impressionism!! aaaaaaa!!! also just shove me in front of abstract art and i’ll fall for it!!! 

89: are you close to your parents?

so so so so close to my mom and step-dad, on okay terms with my dad

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

listen to me. I LOVE SEATTLE. art! fish market! weird side streets! mean street art! bitchy coffee!! neon everywhere!! a big fuckin needle in the sky!

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

ITALY THIS SUMMER IM SO EXCITED i’m gonna meet all my mom’s friends from her semester abroad that she’s kept, i’m gonna see what she saw when she was my age, i’m gonna see where my dad’s family is from maybe if we go south???, i’m gonna see all the places and things she used to tell me about to get me to dream big and want to see the world and experience what’s out there!! aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

depends on the pasta

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

down bc i’m fucking lazy and also inept when it comes to doing things with hair

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

my friend across the hall from me, who is now 19 years of bitchiness!

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

stay in, study, maybe go to a kickback tho

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

lol i put them off until my computer ceases to function altogether 

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

zodiac obviously

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

fucking…….summer?? i did!

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

“feelings” by hayley kiyoko, “vacation town” by the front bottoms, “february” by beach bunny, “hard feelings/loveless” by lorde, “moon river” by henri mancini, “let me in” by flor, “a million miles away” by the plimsoles, “girls like me” by bonnie hayes, “love my way” by the psychedelic furs, the entire legend of zelda soundtrack, “place, je passe” from the mozart l’opera rock soundtrack, etc etc

#ask