#YOU CANT PRESENT ME WITH A PIECE OF SHIT THAT GENDER AND NOT TELL ME THE ENTIRETY OF HIS TRAGIC BACKSTORY OK | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

feralfungii · 14 days

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Small rant

terfs rly are some of the most misogynistic pieces of shit out there and they seem totally unaware of the irony of it. Claiming to be feminist but then the moment someone dfab is like "i dont identify as a woman" theyre like "OH YOU POOR CONFUSED LITTLE GIRL. You clearly have been so terribly misled and tricked!!!! Not to worry, I know you are incapable of critical thinking or making your own decisions in life, so I'M here to tell you your business, to dictate what you do with your body, and to tell you how you, as a woman, should behave!!!!"

Like wow yeah youre such a feminist, trying to dictate what other people do with their bodies and lives and telling them they don't know any better. That's definitely not at all anything like our society's tendency to tell dfab people they're irrational and reactive and don't know what they're talking about and cant be trusted to make decisions about their own bodies.

Terfs are like the pro-lifers who insist theyre feminists - they don't understand that feminism is more than just "yeah i dont think dfab people should live to be subservient to dmab people" or "men suck" or "women are angels and goddesses who can do no wrong." You arent a feminist just because youre a cis woman who's full of herself and raging at people she doesn't consider to be her equals. Feminism is such a huge and nuanced thing and it drives me nuts to see people directly undermining what feminism actually is while insisting to be championing it.

Also, any real feminist would be unabashedly supportive of trans women, that's just a fact. Real, actual feminism is not based in sexist fake science, it's based on "the way we as individuals and as a society treat people needs to be considered in context of many layers of intersectionality, privilege, oppression, and every nuanced thing in between. No one's experience and life should be invalidated and taken from their control based on gender, race, religion, class, or sexuality."

Insisting on gender roles and specific gender presentation and policing of other peoples bodies, harassing and bullying people who dont conform to your personal preferences... I cant think of anything less feminist than terf ideology. There is nothing more harmful to the true purpose of feminism than their weird self-righteous misogyny and transphobia. There is nothing more insulting to the spirit of feminism than to totally invalidate anyone else's personhood and identity based on sexist gender ideology.

If you think that chromosomes and genitals are deciding factors of who people are, who they're capable of being, and what they're capable of doing, you have a lot of internalized sexism to work through. If you think someone's entire life needs to be dictated by their gender, you also have a lot of internalized misogyny and sexism to sort through. You cannot claim to be fighting for women while excluding people who are also suffering under the system feminism is supposed to be fighting against (spoiler alert, the system is run by a bunch of old rich white guys, not by trans people who want to be able to use the public bathroom without getting literally attacked) and also promoting and spreading the same hurtful, hateful rhetoric that people have always used to say women aren't really people. They will literally parrot archaic gender ideology from times when women weren't fucking allowed to vote and claim they're feminists, it's absolutely nonsensical.

Im sure many of them dont actually believe in their own righteousness and just hide behind the smokescreen of feminism so they can use it as a defense when theyre called out for abusing and harassing people. They can just say it's in the name of feminism. They're not abusing and ostrasizing marginalized groups because theyre bigotted! Oh no, not at all, they're just soooo feminist.

But im sure there are also plenty who are genuinely just... women who have been deeply hurt and are lashing out at oppressed groups and minorities in some attempt to offset the sense of helplessness that comes with the fact that so much of their pain is being caused by people in power. They cant punch up high enough for those people to even notice, so they punch down instead. And they get the temporary feeling that they're doing something to counteract whatever or whoever hurt them, that they're helping a just cause by hurting the big bad scary trans people who are clearly the driving force behind the mistreatment of feminine people in our society, and then any time they might have an inkling of "Am I hurting people who are already suffering?" they can turn around and be assured by their echochamber that no, you aren't, because the transgenders aren't people, their suffering is faked to invalidate the suffering of "real" women, and your actions are beyond reproach because the other terfs all agree youre in the right

Cause, yknow, people who dehumanize entire sections of the population and want them eradicated or controlled can usually count on others of that mindset to be able to objectively identify when they're being hateful or going too far. Groups that shamelessly take pride in being "radical" while targeting minorities, who seem to base their victories on "how much harm can we cause to the people we dislike," and whose talking points often seem to be scarily along the lines of eugenics, conversion therapy, or straight up eradication of real people are usually totally reasonable and rational and definitely in the right. Not hateful or bigotted at all.

I get that they hate trans people but man they really fucking hate feminism too for people who include it in the name. Feminist should never have been used to describe such evil.

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heavy-lobster · 3 years

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Just gotta say its fucked up and evil that we never got to see Simon from before the train

#/hj #LISTEN I JUST WANNA KNOW HOW HE GOT ON THE TRAIN HOW HE MET SAMANTHA OK #YOU CANT PRESENT ME WITH A PIECE OF SHIT THAT GENDER AND NOT TELL ME THE ENTIRETY OF HIS TRAGIC BACKSTORY OK #I HATE HIM HE DOESNT DESERVE THAT GENDER I NEED IT MORE #BUT ALSO TELL ME HIS TRAUMA GIRL PLEASE #I JUST WANNA KNOW #ALSO MORE ABOUT GRACE PLEAS #just all the season three protags in general i wanna know more about #season three hurt me ok i need reparations for emotional damages #lobster.txt

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tomatograter · 2 years

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Do you have any advice on drawing muscular people in femme clothing? I keep trying to draw Jake in cute fits and it looks like a terf caricature 😭

If im being perfectly honest with you, there's a high chance this could be happening because 90% of "Fashion" is geared towards extremely thin, flat, and wiry bodies. It's not the outfit that works - it's the engineered drappery of cloth to accent a skinny form. This is why a non-negligible number of high fashion pieces only work on a runway, and a lot of "fast fashion" doesn't quite vibe with normal bodies in the same manicured way they do to supplement IG baddies under deep photoshop. This is why a lot of runways operate on an "androgynous" basis even when clothing lines you get at the mall are super gendered - they're always using the same principles for an interchangeable body frame, that being the super skinny one.

This is not to say you can't make skinny fashion to suit larger bodytypes (because often you can, and I have) just that it takes some adjusting, and like a lot of design: it depends on composition, presentation, shape and form. Despite how many outfits I draw i actually dont know shit about base terms or principles of good clothesmaking, so i cant point you to exact definitions or formulas, but the one thing that helped me get a better eye was actually this: you gotta learn how to draw fat people!

Not just because of the anatomy - though it definitely helps, since a lot of good muscle will often come with fat, and washboard abs are a scam - but also because you need to observe how clothes interact with that frame, which garments accent it, which garments bog it down, how wrinkles and stretched fabric look as they naturally move — you can't just rely on following the skeletal form of the person, or making everything into angles, because there's meat in there! And clothes don't USUALLY hug your every curve to the point they will be shaped exactly like what's underneath. They have their own shape, and its that contrast that makes them "fall nicely" on a body. (A lot of the popular super skinny anime art tends to fall prey to the hermetically-sealed design syndrome.)

That's paying attention to composition, shape and form. But then there's presentation. One thing that really struck me a few years ago when i saw an artist answering a question on a similar vein to this one is how often we've became used to images on media that portray AMAB bodies on feminine clothes as "awkward" "maladjusted" or in the worst cases "inherently funny, because it's wrong" but that's not really how that works? That just sounds like a bullshit strawman argument. And it is.

Point being: the way you depict a person wearing something highly impacts the end result. Do they look confident? Do they look happy? Do they look comfortable? Does wearing this make them feel nice, and can you see that? Is the camera looking upon them fondly, is it framing them positively, or is it still somewhat influenced towards a biased trend? Is the first word that comes to mind "attractive" or "weird"?

There sure is a lot of 'content' even in 'welcoming lgbt fandom circles' that defaults to presenting gender-noncomformity, particularly as it pertains to transfemininity or men that reject the hard mold of cis masculity, as something awkward, inherently comedic, or outright bad. This is an unavoidable facet of the negative and punishing culture we live in.

I cannot possibly tell you how many times I've seen an anime boy drawn in utter distress because he's wearing a skirt and you can tell the artist is thinking "well, i need to make this look a little bad, right? So its realistic?" and you just feel a weird fucking vibe emanating from the post when it could 100% come off better if the body language and framing were going for "this looks cute, this looks hot" even in cases where the character might be embarassed about it. Human beings communicate A LOT through visual cues and body language, you have to watch out for it!

But also from a general art perspective, a lot of clothes have a hard time looking good if the characters are standing up stick-straight. Look up poses from casual photoshoots, use references, avoid the🧍‍♂️syndrome and in general: observe! Good luck.

#art #jake english

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liketheinferno2 · 2 years

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blorbo questionaire(?):

preface: i have not watched any of these/played them besides Nier Automata and Replicant

kristoph g-something, (maybe gavin?): the inside of his head is an oil fire he is continuously pouring water on and fanning with his hands, he has this weird complex about Wanting the Black Haired Dude and also being disgusted by him. he is losing 4D chess that he's playing with himself. Also has anxiety tics

estinein: oh my god he's this like. white haired elven Guy who is in an abusive relationship with his telepathic(?) eye and i think he is also wearing the blood of the guy whos eye he just... took? questionable eye acquisition... he is coated in blood but he wouldnt smell bad because i think patch'ii cat cleans him or something, if so i think patch'ii should get a free toothbrush. i think a lot of the fandom seems to misinterpret him from what ive read of your posts and my god i can relate bc my favs also always get their nuance sucked out through their one personality trait people assign him

harchufaunt: HARCHUFAUNT

Nier (protagonist): im in act 2 after the whole tentacle ship in my first run and my grasp of nier is: cant swim, is the baby girl to kaines bad boy, he is very tunnel vision and just... Cognitive dissonances his way through the day while taking down more and more shades and tunes out any other options because otherwise nothing would be worth it. Half the time i almost forget yonhas the prerogative because niers so determined to be taking as many detours as possible and keep putting off the inevitable reality. Good boy!

Adam: woman, but no, but yes and a mother, had a stab wound baby he didnt want by deadbeat dad 2b and popularly dubbed incel 9s (i think this is the dumbest and funniest interpretation of his character and how it is held by more than one person i do not know)

9s: decidedly small and also he has half the arm of his dead not gf attached to him because he is small gender

GOD THANK YOU FOR THIS TREMENDOUS READ THIS IS ALL VERY ATTENTIVE AND GOOD. BUT I'M REALLY DELIGHTED THAT YOU SOMEHOW GOT THE CONCEPT OF PATCHAH'LI CLEANING ESTINIEN SOMEWHERE IN HERE. Because he doesn't but I definitely have him as cleaning younger characters like a cat. You can't lick Estinien's hair he wouldn't allow it. But you CAN take a bath together in an onsen:

I also want to show you Estinien's Special Guy:

This is why the eye's like a big sticky bowling ball. Big man is BIG. He's just also sentient through the eye and can talk with it, just to Estinien though. The eye was taken a thousand years ago and held as a treasure by the Blatantly Just The Catholic Church until Estinien stole it and started running around with it to draw Big Man away from the people in city and towards him, because he's a dragoon knight, a knight that kills dragons. He's like "I will be a delicious hunk of meat this guy wants to tear to pieces. What could POSSIBLY go wrong there?" When they meet in person he takes the OTHER eye out of his head and this leads to 1. covered in blood, 2. my favourite Estinien image of all time

I keep that MF THANG ON ME!!! I've ended up so attached to Esti for a great many reasons but part of it that I'm playing as another dragoon knight and that nets you a bunch of extra scenes and context for him. And he likes you best. This isn't just ANYONE'S blorbo, he's mine lmfao.

Also people struggle with Estinien I think largely because he's characterised as a very socially stunted person so where another character would tell you their tragic backstory and try to explain what they're doing, Estinien just kinda... doesn't? You have to hear it from his dad, and that's optional. So they present you with a guy who is going through some extremely heavy shit but it's mostly private, you're never getting the whole story of this nebulously terrible relationship he's in; he thinks he's got more power in it than he has and the player's inclined to believe him. The curtain comes off about exactly how bad it all is pretty late in the game and even then it's not of his own will and he's resistant to being saved from this situation too. He's a Difficult Bitch. But then you do bleed and cry and help him and seeing the emotional recovery afterwards is really fantastic. Slow burn character.

Also Haurchefant? That's pronounced as "Orshufon." I know.

ALSO YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT INCEL 9S BEING THE DUMBEST TAKE TO EVER HIT THE INTERWEBZ. THANK YOU FOR THE ASK AND GOOD MORROW

#asks #butcherofyanginlar #also you are playing nier replicant CORRECTLY

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tigerdrop · 3 years

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hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots

i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity

the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)

but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.

gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.

this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.

which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him

this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.

its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.

“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.

gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.

IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.

its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication

also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems

to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.

a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this

ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.

secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.

hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.

finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.

when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.

paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.

thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps

#asky #careposting

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koma-moved · 4 years

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all of them :)

ah ok time to suffer

Alisons: Sexuality?

pan bb

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

am enby, I’m chill with any pronouns

Amaryllis: Birthday?

birthed on april 14

Anemone: Favorite flower?

not really sure they all pretty

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

idk I don’t watch much tv nowadays

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

not sure,,,

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

I’ll face God and walk backwards into Hell

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

coffee

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

idk haven’t kissed someone yet

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

lots of times, yes

Baneberries: Favorite song?

Kami-iro Awase

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

terrible, I don’t wanna be around them except for mother and one of my sisters

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

I consider my mutuals as best friends tbh

Begonia: Favorite color?

blue

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

foxxxxxx

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night person, fuck mornings

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I wanna be a catto

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

wanted to be a nurse or a scientist

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

little shits

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

being an annoyance, being alone, everyone hating me

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

used to play a bit of guitar when I was a smol

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

die

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

taken

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

I guess Japan? or idk any place where my friends live

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when people acknowledge me I guess?

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

non

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

also non

California Poppy: Height?

5 feet

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

idk

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

aqua green shirt w maroon shorts

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

I can’t remember who I last hugged irl

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

haven’t kissed anyone

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

my custom font HandyEnby

Columbine: Are you tired?

YES GOD I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY AND NOT BE EXHAUSTED BUT FUCKING HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

honestly idk but uhhh I guess my mom coming back home

Coneflower: Dream job?

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

introvert

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

again yes

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

very far, I’d die for them

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

had a Rainbow Dash plush that I slept with every night

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

aries

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

idk,,,

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

idk,,,

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

depends

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

friends

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

drawing

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

everything,,,

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

got into Danganronpa, finally got enrolled into a class in the ICT strand, mother agreed to buy me a huion tablet

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

terrible

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

kinda? idk

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

finish the school year and be free from hell

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

friends, art, danganronpa, them sonic real time fandubs, uhhhhhhhh idk what else

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

drawing, talking to people

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

emojis, just saying ily in general

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

idk,,,

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

I JUST WANT ONE. FUCKING DAY. WITH NO ONE TO FUCKING BOSS ME AROUND. NO ONE ALWAYS YELLING AT ME FOR ONE TINY MISTAKE. WHERE I DON’T HAVE TO PLEASE PEOPLE ALL THE TIME. WHERE I DON’T HAVE TO OVERTHINK MY NEXT ACTION. PLEASE. I JUST WANT PEACE.

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

draw

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

hhhhh dont wanna answer this one rn,,,

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

no one??? I’d rather not be a burden tbh

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

casually checking my follower count

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

cant remember fam

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

burden, annoyance, piece of shit, etc.

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

non

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

everything

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

draw

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

a classmate, she was cool

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

lots of things

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

also lots of things

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

literally no fucking meaning to my name at all

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

hate it here

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

boring

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

HATE EVERYTHING

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

nice, i lov her

Onions: Tell about your dad.

cheating bastard

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

gramma cool and nice, grampa piece of shit hope he perishes

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

idk hate existing

Peony: What was your first job?

non?

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

met online like w my friends

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

keep it to myself till it gets worse :’)

Pink: Where is home?

my childhood home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

leaving home

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

hh idk,,,

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

same as my ideal day

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

that being a teen would be cool n fun but uhhhhh uso dayo!!

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

friends and loved ones

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

rain sound

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

hhhhhh

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

either to die or to just have peace, I’ll decide soon

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

hard

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

my friends

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

little

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

I wake up just so my grampa won’t fucking yell at me

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

i dont have a job

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

hoodies

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

idk

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

not sure, anything works

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

MY ANXIETY TELLING ME THAT EVERYONE FUCKING HATES ME AND ALSO MY GRAMPA IN GENERAL

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

i havent read books in forever

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

6 feet underground :’)))

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

god I wish I didn’t

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

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feralhogs · 4 years

Note

1 THROUGH 55 AND 1 THROUGH 30 GO GO GO

LETS FUCKIN GO

tumblr please actually make this a keep reading

55 interesting questions you should drop in someone’s inbox

1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

I ALREADY WATCH NETFLIX AND AGONIZE OVER MY STORY

2. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you’ve own/owned?

MY JACKETS. ANY CHEST OBSCURING, BROAD SHOULDERED, COZY JACKET

3. What hobbies would you get into if time and money wasn’t an issue?

DANCING, ID NEED TO GO TO CLASSES OR SOMETHING

4. What would your perfect room look like?

IM ACTUALLY PRETTY HAPPY WITH MY ROOM BUT IVE ALWAYS WANTED A LAVA LAMP, AND 1800 MORE PLANTS COULDNT HURT

5. Do you play sports?

6. What fiction place would you love to go to?

SINNOH REGION

7. What Job would you be terrible at?

DEBT COLLECTION. I WOULD BE GIVING SHIT TO PEOPLE FOR FREE. I COULDNT BEAR BEING ENCOURAGED TO FORCE PEOPLE WHO CANT PAY FOR SOMETHING TO PAY MORE

8. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would it be?

SERVING. HOW MANY PLATES CAN YOU CARRY AT ONCE

9. What’s the most annoy habit other people have?

WALKING IN MY SPACE BUBBLE WHEN MY SENSES ARE OVERLOADED

10. What skill would you like to master?

A SECOND LANGUAGE

11. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?

THE ONE FROM MY DREAM WHERE I KISSED A GIRL DYED MY HAIR BLUE AND WE ELOPED TO BRAZIL TO RAISE SHEEP

12. What’s your favorite drink ?

THAT CHRISTMAS SHIT. PEPPERMINT MOCHA AT STARBUCKS. A FRIEND GOT IT FOR ME ONCE. NOW I ORDER IT A BILLION TIMES.

13. What state or country would you never like to go back to?

I HAVE NOT TRAVELLED MUCH EVER

14. What songs do you have completely memorized?

I DONT REMEMBER LYRICS SO MUCH, BUT I COULD PROBABLY REMEMBER HOW MANY SONGS GO COMPLETELY

15. Are you usually early or late?

LATE. IM GETTING BETTER THOUGH

16. What takes up too much of your time?

GETTING OUT OF BED

17. What do you wish you knew more about?

SWORDS

18. What are some small things that make your day better?

COFFEE. SOMEONE SAYING SOMETHING NICE TO ME.

19. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should?

QUEER EYE BUT BY TRANS PEOPLE FOR TRANS PEOPLE

20. Who has impressed you the most with what they’ve accomplished?

YOU. AND ME. ITS GROWTH

21. What age do you wish you can permanently be?

21, SO I HAVE TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCKS GOING ON

22. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?

13 REASONS, THE BOOK WAS TRIGGERING SO I WONT RISK IT

23. What would be your ideal way to spend you weekend?

TAKING A WALK, HAVING COFFEE, WATERING PLANTS… IM HAPPY

24. What’s something in your life that’s considered a luxury?

I HAVE PERFUME...

25. Is there anything you’re too young/old for?

TO YOUNG TO NEVER DRINK. TOO OLD FOR POKEMON

26. What’s your favorite genre book or movie?

I DONT HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN FOR EITHER BUT I SEEM TO LIKE URBAN FANTASY A LOT

27. How often do you people watch?

I THINK IM SO POLITE BUT HONESTLY, I QUIETLY SCRUTINIZE SO MANY PEOPLE ON THE TRAIN EVERY DAY AND GUESS AT THEIR PERSONAL HABITS AND SELF IMAGE.

28. What’s the best single day on the calendar?

MY BIRTHDAY, SAGITTARIUS SEASON RULES BABY

29. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?

I DONT KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING PPL HAVENT HEARD OF BUT IM INTERESTED IN BLACK HOLES

30. Do you relax after a hard day?

FOOD. NETFLIX. DECOMPOSING ON TUMBLR

31. What’s the best book or series you’ve ever read?

I HAVENT READ A BOOK I REALLY LOVE IN AGES. HARRY POTTER AND ARTEMIS FOWL WERE MY FAVOURITES GROWING UP, BUT CORNELIA FUNKES BOOKS SLAPPED AND HIS DARK MATERIALS WAS GORGEOUS

32. Where’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?

IDAHO?

33. What’s the most heart warming thing you’ve ever seen?

LUCIFER WAS LIKE YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR BORING MIDDLE NAME JANE AND KNOWS THAT EVERY MURDER BREAKS YOUR HEART AND YOU SIMPLY DESERVE BETTER SO NO MORE MOMENTS WHILE THEYRE HAVING A MOMENT AND CHLOE IS WATCHING THIS FUCKING IDIOT AND IVE WATCHED THIS BEFORE SO I KNOW SHES GONNA KISS HIM AND THEN THEY KISS

34. What’s the most annoying question that people ask you?

ANY SMALL TALK QUESTIONS

35. Would you give a 40 minute presentation with no preparation?

YES. ID MAKE THAT SHIT RIGHT UP. SKILLS

36. What’s something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

GIVE ME A HUG AND SOME CHOCOLATE

37. Would you rather go Hand Gliding or Whitewater rafting?

HANG GLIDING

38. Dream car?

SOMETHING I DONT HAVE TO WORRY WILL FALL INTO PIECES AT ANY MOMENT

39. What’s something so many people are obsessed with and you just don’t understand why?

STRAIGHT LOVE SONGS

40. What are you most looking forward to in 10 years from now?

HAVING A CAT

41. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but haven’t gotten to it?

DECORATING THE DOLLHOUSE I RESCUED FROM THE BATHROOM

42. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you all week?

IM NOT VERY FAR THROUGH THE WEEK AND I HAVENT ENJOYED MOST OF IT BUT PEOPLE SAYING ADORABLE THINGS

43. How different was your life one year ago?

NOT A LOT DIFFERENT, IM JUST LONELY IN THE CITY NOW, MINUS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, ONE YEAR ON T

44. What/who would you rate 10/10?

MY CACTUS JAKEN. I DROPPED HIM SO MANY TIMES AN ENTIRE HALF OF HIS SPIKES ARE FLAT SCARS. AND LOOK AT HIM. THRIVING

45. What kind of art do you enjoy the most?

GENUINELY MADE ART

46. What do you hope never changes?

MY T PRESCRIPTION

47. What movie title best describes your life?

I LOOKED THROUGH NETFLIX AND I PICK TWILIGHT

48. What website do you visit most often?

TUMBLR

49. What’s something you’re looking forward to this year?

MY BIRTHDAY

50. What’s something you’d like to unlearn?

FINDING A REASON TO CANCEL EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING

51. Where would you spend all your time if you could?

WALKING BY SOME RUNNING WATER

52. What age would you like to live to?

80. THATS MY MENTAL HEALTH ANSWER

53. What’s something you’re most likely to become famous for?

SOMETHING CREATIVE WOULD BE AWESOME

54. What’s something you’re most likely to be arrested for?

CRIMES

55. What’s something you really want but can’t afford?

A CAT

Lgbt+ ask game

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?

I’m even a little shaken by a questioning state right now but for a while I’ve felt the best fit is the androgynous label -- I read a description of it being the purple on a pink to blue scale, both at once but not specifically either one, and something else by itself. I’m also happy with a cryptic masculine grey area. My pronouns are he/him.

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?

During the Puberty 1.0 nightmare, I was basically living someone else’s life, and any attraction I felt wasn’t in relation to myself. I felt disconnected from my body and gender and everything too, and I felt a lot of social pressure to experience a certain type of attraction, fit into a certain role, et cetera, and none of these feelings existed in me at all, so I used to identify as ace. When I realized I was trans, I was too caught up in the, transition safely, my life is a lie, stopping dysphoria drama to focus on this, but I had an idea I might be a gay guy judging from my gay creative writing until I caught feelings for a girl and realized this wasn’t the first time that had happened. Some bi positivity and nonbinary rage later, I am reminded that gender is a joke.

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?

Yes of course A LOT. Starting with my parents, who do it aggressively and maliciously. And plenty from strangers and customers, mostly after hearing my voice pre-transition. It used to hurt terribly because I was dealing with so much other stuff at the time, and one little thing could be the last straw, so I used to react strongly and harshly, to people you express yourself to anyway. On T, I’ve been so much more chill and confident, and it’s less painful to accept that some people just don’t know any better, although that doesn’t change its effect.

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?

I don’t remember, I think it was a high school friend. I vaguely remember texting someone in a bathroom during a crying session at work. My high school friends were all warm and supportive.

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?

It was scary as hell. I’m sure coming out (with your gender specifically) is scary by nature because it’s a huge truth to be telling that can really change how the people you love perceive you, for better or for worse, but for me, I’m also thinking with the dread and certainty that my family would be too conservative and potentially dangerous. Coming out to my family was one of the worst, most painful things I’ve ever been through -- being kicked out and laughed at, a lot of drama, confrontations, Bible readings and being ganged up on at odd hours, trying to comfort my mom who took it as her personal failure -- I was shaking with adrenaline 24/7. I think of the “I’ll suffer through anything as long as it has meaning” comment that was about angsty fanfics, but knowing the truth about myself was a source of unshakable strength and it felt refreshing and even triumphant to say, like I was giving myself permission to exist for the first time. I came out a bunch of times, though...

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?

My family reacted mostly badly, my sister is a little confused but has the spirit, and my friends have been wonderful.

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?

It’s more of a gender thing, but I hate it when people imply that I shouldn’t be on T or are subtly trying to talk me out of it with their questions. After all the disrespectful as fuck bullshit I heard from my parents, I’m tired of this.

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.

Zombie apocalypse denim? Gay Layers

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?

I’m not really emotionally invested in these “ships” you cool kids are talking about. I like canon, age-appropriate ones.

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?

I’ve never really worn makeup. I brazenly never bothered to growing up, and if it had an effect on me socially, I was too tuned out to care. My sister always wanted to do my hair and makeup, but I wasn’t interested and wouldn’t let her, much to her frustration. I wore some for a musical once though, and I had no idea what I was doing and it was extremely uncomfortable. I felt what I know now is dysphoria and ended up using the lipstick to draw. Another aspect to this is my family forbade it (or my dad made the decision for everyone), not that it made my sister feel less pressured to wear it, so maybe it was some female presentation I could easily get out of. For that reason, I don’t have super strong feelings about it. Not understanding it probably resulted in me feeling left out a lot among my peers.

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?

Yes. Before my realization, it was a numb horror I wasn’t consciously aware of, ruining nice things growing up to the point where I feel like I missed out on being a teenager. I remember it as feeling nauseous while sitting in a corner, feeling like none of my clothes ever fit for some mysterious reason. Living with my family in the closet, it defined my life, and I was obsessed with my presentation. These days, it does not bother me on that level at all, except a minor freakout now and then if I get really wild and wear feminine clothes. Or I still feel it in more subtle ways, when I default to customer service voice, or when guys my age are twice my height and I look aaaall the way up at them and wonder what gender they see me as.

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?

Trust me, I have heard truck loads of dumb shit and the winner is the Gay Agenda is R****a’s propaganda to weaken the integrity of North America. Considering what is happening over there, it was enragingly stupid.

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?

I feel like I can be myself around lgbt+ people. I don’t feel like I have to hide stuff or put on a show, and I’m not afraid because it’s familiar territory.

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?

Aside from obvious problems like TERFs, ace discourse. Ace people are part of the community if they want to be and that’s enough on that, my skin is already breaking out.

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?

I finally went to a Pride event this year! I was surprised it was the first one I’d been to, then remembered my parents discouraged me from going anywhere, never mind to a gay where.

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?

I can’t think of many people right now, but Leslie Feinberg seems awesome, and some quotes from Stone Butch Blues are very validating.

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?

No. Technically I have been in one, but it was shitty and ridiculous, and basically platonic, and I don’t want it to count.

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?

I barely read… I read Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe in high school and it was honestly so precious.

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?

Yes. I got kicked out (but then kicked back in again), had my stuff stolen and damaged, was verbally harassed… and I was indirectly fired by an employer, but We Will Never Know Why...

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?

Queer Eye! I don’t know of many though, and some important ones, I just haven’t watched.

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?

My mutuals :D

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?

I’m okay calling myself queer.

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?

No, but I did see some drag performances at the one (1) Pride event I went to, and they were jaw-dropping.

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?

I’m not sure what this question means, but I decide what fits right by what makes me feel the most alive and emotionally real and in the moment. What makes me feel the most attractive to be honest. There’s a post about dysphoria I saw going around, the things on it are basically what I use to figure things out.

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?

I am actually! Not anytime soon, but I’m the responsible type for sure, and judging by the way I love growing plants and being around animals, I’m probably a nurturing person. I actually like kids too, lol, they’re just so high-energy.

What identity advice would you give your younger self?

You’re a boy. Go!

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?

I think people are going to have different ways of expressing themselves that make them happy, but… I don’t think they should infringe on basic human decency. When I hear “role” I think of acting a certain way because someone told you to, something I want to disagree with on the spot.

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?

People move out of my way on the sidewalk and take me seriously now. Privilege or self-confidence… I never want to forget what it used to be like, or get too entitled.

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?

That it’s simply living one’s reality. I think that trips up a lot of straight people -- that some people just come like this, and they don’t have to make it fit into their personal identity.

Why are proud to be lgbt+?

Because I worked hard to be alive and happy right now. I’m proud of choosing to get through those rough patches, take care of myself, heal, take walks, cook breakfast, learn healthy coping mechanisms, that was out of love for myself and a defiant conviction that I have a place in this world.

#chatty tag

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thelifetimechannel · 5 years

Text

The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.

In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.

DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there. DIRK: Didn't even die once. DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing" DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths". DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again. DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake. DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea? DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing. DIRK: And people let me do that. DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it. DAVE: oh DAVE: i figured you knew DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme. DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic. DAVE: you could always change DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable. DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame. DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver. DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny. DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over DAVE: i was never into it DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol. DIRK: ...in theory. DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies. DAVE: ill plan your funeral DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want DIRK: ...there's different kinds? DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld DAVE: these choices matter DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language" DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels. DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch. DAVE: probably DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo". DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging DAVE: or pink tiaras DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly DAVE: which is weird considering DAVE: well DAVE: youre gay right DIRK: Uh. DIRK: Well. DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I. DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean. DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms. DAVE: cant say i do no DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes. DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up. DAVE: so DAVE: thats a yes DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds DIRK: I've never denied it. DIRK: I'm just. DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race. DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes. DAVE: but anyway DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs DAVE: but DAVE: it explains some stuff DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao] DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me DAVE: including that DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through, DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know? DAVE: probably not DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess DAVE: and so like DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it DAVE: so i guess i was wondering DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing DIRK: Wait, wait, wait. DIRK: You're coming to me. DIRK: For advice. DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been? DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but. DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper. DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university DAVE: where you study bird watching DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college? DAVE: fair DAVE: but like DAVE: your friends know DAVE: how did you broach the subject there DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore. DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework. DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout. DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit DAVE: they were chill about the first part right DIRK: Thanks. DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed. DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now DAVE: thats a thing that we have DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush. DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list. DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you. DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes DAVE: ive been wrong about people DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves. DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go. DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight. DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest. DAVE: haha DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible DAVE: thanks mom DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior. DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose. DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest? DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover. DAVE: sure thing DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with. DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that. DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister? DAVE: yeah i guess DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs DIRK: Oh my god. DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me DIRK: Why are we like this? DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters? DIRK: But, that aside. DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to. DAVE: ill hold you to it DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching" DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms DAVE: ill have your back DIRK: Thanks.

#bonus content

9 notes · View notes

msf-diamond-dog · 7 years

Note

Same for you, all of them!

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

Closed, but not really for any reason.

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

Very vaguely, yes.

(3) Can You Whistle?

No, I’ve stopped trying to learn. I cant do it.

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

Full Power by AC Slater

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

Pretty much and darkish or vibrant blue.

(6) Relationship Status.

Single :C

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

102 F

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

Nope, I dont think I ever wake up cranky.

(9) How Many Followers?

I dont even know. Half of them are pornbots.

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Gemini

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Brown!

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

Do Monsters count

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

Yeppers

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

“...somewhat entertaining.”

(16) Favourite Anime?

HmhmH... Probably FMA.

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

Probably my sister. I honestly dont even remember the last time I cried.

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Toys and games!

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

Nothing

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

Nah

(21) Favourite Animal?

DOGGOS

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

Nah

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

Probably around 1 or 2am.

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

I am not. My sister wanted me to put on mascara today though so we shall see.

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

OCEAN

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

Honestly just all my friends blogs

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Bottled, sadly. The water here tastes horrible. Like drinking a swimming pool.

(28) What Makes You Happy?

Music, people.

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

I dont have any gifs D:

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

I study better without it but Im not gonna turn it off.

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

Dogs

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

That shitty gray one that no one uses but it somehow is all dull with the paper all ripped up and it has like a bunch of other colors smashed into the ends

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

Playstation!

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

Ocean,

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

Nah

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

A gray Fallout shirt

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue

Yep

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

Both

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

Yeah, some headphones

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

No not really. Nothing new, anyways.

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

Nah, I leave them alone.

(42)Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

I used to be but Im not anymore.

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Yeah...I only remember bits and pieces of them though

(44)Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

Ive never been on one before

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

A movie has never made me cry before

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Sunflower seeds

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

ZAO and Im gonna see them soon.

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

Not at all.

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

Depends on how well my meds work that night

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

Hells no, I love it

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

I love to read but Im not a writer.

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

YEAH

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Carve pumpkins. Im not good at wrapping presents and Ive never carved one before.

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

I Am the Best by 2NE1 (HA)

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Summer

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?

Affection, quite honestly.

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

Its just a picture of like 6 golden retrievers

(58) What Is Your Gender?

Male

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

I dont know. I like them both the same.

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

No homework. Last day of break. :C

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Straight

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

Naw.

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

Cubone and Haunter!

(64) Favourite Social Media?

Tumblr.

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

I dont give a shit?

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

Sometimes. Not often though.

(67) Are You A Virgin?

Yeppers

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

Dove

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Depends on where I am. If its a shady place Id take the hotel. If its decently safe Id sleep in my car.

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

Yep!

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

Deadpool 2

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

I dont have an ex.

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

“If you’re scared to do it, then do it scared”

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

I think all eyes are fucking gorgeous but my favorite has dark brown

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

Swinging is the SHIT.

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

I havent eaten anything today sooo idk.

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

Blendoku 2 (my favorite) and Random Heroes 3

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

Yeah, why does it matter if theyre homeless?

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

Yeah

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

Nah

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

Yes and no? I like learning about people but I dont like the interaction part.

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

No rings

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Unless its really hot, I sleep with it closed.

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

Woke up, cleaned a bit, played some games.

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

Shorts and a tshirt

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

I dont have any.

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

NIGHT

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

Fuckin hell, I have too many to list here.

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

One of my favorite dreams was I was working in a dollar store, and like 4 guys with guns ran in and were like robbing the place and I just looked at them and said “why the fuck would you rob a dollar store?” and they just look at me for a few seconds and then shot me. I had it a few years ago.

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

Dr, Pepper

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

Pretty much and percussion/clicky noise.

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Jeans. I dont even have a pair of sweats.

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

Shitty like usual

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

Music

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

First one Im getting is a Maximal insignia.

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

Idk man.

Thank you Jana! C:

3 notes · View notes

settingorange · 7 years

Note

do all the evens lmao

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Sometimes!

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

Lots of sugar!

6: do you keep plants?

No but I’d like some succulents

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

I don’t express my feelings next question

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

Side

12: what's your favorite planet?

Earth bc all my friends live here

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

First of all, Id love this and its all i want so jot that down. It would probably be kinda messy bc of how i am and also we would have plants and art on the walls. Idk what else id like but also be afraid of a lot of windows

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

Fetuccine alfredo fuck u max goodwin

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

Newsflash asshole everything i do is dumb and nobody lets me live anything down. Altho i cant think of anything atm

20: what's your favorite eye color?

Not blue

22: are you a morning person?

I can be. Im versatile af

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Uh yeah its called every person i know im an open book bitch!!!!

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

Black vans w flamingos on them which i may retire soon :((

28: sunrise or sunset?

im a ho for both but probably sunset

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

Yes.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

I usually am not up that late and i cant think of anything particularly exciting except one time me and Destrie stayed up at our friend Kims grandmas house and watched Epic Rap Battles of History and we were the only people awake

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

Which one i have so many!!! but uhhh there is one that was my favorite for while and it was a black panther and i named her Midnight and once i got bubblegum on her and we had to cut it out. I still have her around somewhere.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

The Front Bottoms

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

My roommate clicking her pen

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

I have a spinny ring that I bought at earthbound, its not like, significant but i like it

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop?

Java Haute bc the memories but Vienna here at purdue has a real good spiced chai so... watch out java haute

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

The day we went to the parking garage and lydia and i laid on the ground and looked at the stars

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

They feel a slight precipitation."I think it’s raining," says the man."No, it’s snowing," replies the woman."How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?""Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.The man turns to his wife with a smile. “See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

A fire burning my house down. No

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

Rubber ducks ig?

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

any of the iasip memes tbh

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

Lydia “flavoureddogs” herself...

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

just like, laughs and stuff ik how to explain it but everyones is unique and lso cute

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

Sarahs definitely the vodka aunt but idk who the wine mom woul be??? Me if i werent so opposed to drinking alcohol

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

I love poetry! Annabelle Lee by Edgar Allen Poe and An Etiquette for Eyes by Cate Marvin (Which if you havent heard... Please go listen to Jon Risinger read on soundcloud)

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

Sometimes! Apple or Grape usually

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

dark

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Lots of little flowers that are v cute

68: what's winter like where you live?

Cold cold cold!! Snowy sometimes!

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

No :/

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

Nope

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

They go to school with me and are one of the prettiest people I know and without them id be dead on the street!!!

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

Dam math homework

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

HATE

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Light blue, yes, because i like it

82: are/were you good in school?

i used to be

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

id like one, maybe some kind of sunflower

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

I do! There are quite a few but I really enjoy Death of a Bachelor and Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

Not particularly i just like art

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Im not sure i have any bc i hate terre haute and i dont know shit about anywhere else

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

so much cheesee

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Myself hehe

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

ill update my technology when im dead

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

real hiking? I went to turkey run w my squad in the summer so then probably

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

The past bc the future scares me bc things change so often and also i could have a heads up on some shit that goes down

Thanks lyd for this ask it only took me forever to get around to it!!

1 note · View note

ryleejaybyrd · 7 years

Note

ANSWER ALL THE EVENS BWAHAHA

Jesus christ Taylor XD Nobody cares but here I go!!!!!!!

lol like how I tried to play it off cool but I’m actually super stoked rn

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Yes and no... for like the first day of winter when it’s all pretty and pristine but when it get’s to the point of ‘fuck me do i still have toes?’ I’m over it.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

I like my coffee with french vanilla creamer and lovingly call it my princess froofroo bullshit drink. On the tea side of things I like herbal without anything added becuase I feel like a fairy drinking flower water.

6: do you keep plants?

I love thinking I could, but the only plant I haven’t killed is the one that I keep in my papa’s sunroom where I’m never anywhere near it because everything I touch dies screaming.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Is internal screaming a viable medium? I like to think I can write, but that’s still under investigation

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

I’m all over the place, you can usual tell by my hair tho. Seeing as it sticks straight up on whichever side I sleep on.

12: what's your favorite planet?

Jupiter!! It has all those awesome moons that are v cool.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?Hmmmmm, it’d probably be a homey mess of books, fandom knicknacks and random coffee mugs with random socks laying everywhere. (there may or may not be a smiley face painted on the wall that is outlined with bullets.. crazy night..)

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

I’m very uncultured so spaghetti is how imma roll

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

oh god, you mean every other moment I’m in their presence? My shining moment would probably be when I had a minor stroke after getting v excited about making cinnamon pancakes for @klskipper13 and I stuttered so bad I said “ Cinininamonon pancancancakes”

20: what's your favorite eye color?

Probably green!

22: are you a morning person?

HAHAHAHA. that’s cute

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Honestly I’m a pretty open person? I’ll tell anyone anything, especially if I think it’ll make them laugh.

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

YOU MEAN THE ONES THAT JUST BROKE AND I’M STILL GRIEVING OVER. They’re brown combat boots that go to just under my knee with laces all the way up. I lovingly named them my Katniss boots, may they rest in peace.

28: sunrise or sunset?

I like the idea of sunrise. There’s just something about beginnings that make me all poetic and shit

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

Yup, 100% when my friend and I got busted after drinking at her mormon grandmothers house. In retrospect, probably should have done it elsewhere.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

At my 13th bday party my friends and I were staying at a house on a golf course and we streaked nude up and down the 18th hole. Till this day I wonder if they had surveillance cameras.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

It was a doe deer beanie baby named Whisper. She was that stuffed animal that went everywhere with me. At age 12 I lost her somewhere at my cousins house and am still sad about it till this day. She had one eye and a pink nail polish stain on her chest. Bonus story: my oldest friend @haleygalik had that same beanie baby and gave it to me since I was so upset about losing mine. I still have Whisper 2.0 till this day

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?Right now? Uuhh, I’m not sure tbh. I’m kinda feeling serene so something celticy. I’m also uncultured in music.

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

Dogs that beg when you try to eat. My dad passed that down to me. I will literally stare a dog straight in the eye and eat slowly. Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs more then humans, but that bothers me. I also get very twitchy when a computer desktop is just full of icons (yes I’m talking about you Tay.)

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

I have this wedding band set that I found when my great grandma jay passed away. I think it was her wedding rings, but I never knew for sure. I wish I knew their story more then anything.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

There’s a shop that’s in our town called grump monkey. Its small and kinda modern themed but still comfy.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?Hmmm, probably when I was swimming in the ocean last November. The ocean is my home.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

The fact that Barbara Dunkelman from Rooster Teeth is so bad at puns she gave herself the title Barbara Punkelman....

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

Being abducted by one of the aliens from Signs. Well duh.

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

Tbh I don’t collect anything really... but I do have a thing about small intricate boxes and bottles. I don’t usually keep them long tho. I move a lot.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

The only one I’ve noticed is the thing with the cowboy hat. I’m not the most observant

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

I just saw a friend of my mom’s who’s brother passed away, that was rough.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

It is so great when people talk with their hands more and more as they get excited. The best story tellers look like they’re being pulled around by a drunk marionette person.

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

@brigadepuppy is probably the wine mom, and @klskipper13 is the vodka aunt who doesnt really drink but has a bottle thats filled with water so people wont nag her to drink with them.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

Robert Frost is my main bitch. His path diverging in a yellow wood will always be my fave. tho in english class we once read this poem about a lady who kept one of her lovers locked away in a hidden room and continued to sleep by the body even after the person died... to this day i cant find it anywhere. had something to do with roses. creepy as fuck but great.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

Orange is the bomb!

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

a black satin canvas speckled with the iridescence of millions of different cosmic lights

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Oh! I really like colorful leaves and vines instead of flowers.

68: what's winter like where you live?

A mythic bitch. #upperleft

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

Fuck to the no. I like not being haunted thank you. Tho, I am 100% convinced a ghost named Tina haunts me. I’ve had flickering lights, random bangs, and things falling off shelfs happen every once in awhile. I’m surprisingly calm about it mostly.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

Absolutely. Helps keep my mind clear too. If i write it down it’s not swirling around in my brain and distracting me. Once its tangible its easy to toss aside.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

I have only two friends

Friend 1: My lil Asian

Friend 2: Lil Bitch

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

Oh for sure. I should be buying a ticket from Florida to New York, researching my trip to New Zealand, and double checking my bills are payed. HAHA NEXT QUESTION

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

I’m a fanclub! I have a lot of love for people I’ve never met

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

White, sadly. I didn’t, like I said. I move a lot.

82: are/were you good in school?

100% was a fly on the wall. Put in minimum effort and left with a 3.5 GPA cuz our school system is a joke.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

Yas!~ I want to do my Harry Potter house with my friends and something to do with space/the ocean or mythical creatures

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

Uh sure, I totally know what those are and they’re great...

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

The lil animatic videos people are doing for musicals! I love them so much!!! For example @galactibun and @raythrill do some really neat ones! (or at least I’m pretty sure they do??? I always see them blogging that style anyway)

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Austin! Mainly because Rooster Teeth, but also it was such a vibrant place! I would like to live their someday.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

All the cheese. It’s cheese with a side of pasta. I love cheese.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

My Aunt Kelly!

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinator. They take forever.

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

Way to long... uh probably last summer with a friends dog! Of course! Being outside is always cathartic

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

I’d go into the past! I’d miss so much if I were to skip ahead that I’d feel anxious I think.

Here you all go, XD thanks Tay, I appreciate you booboo

1 note · View note

butwhatistrue · 7 years

Text

I’ve been reading about schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders for class tomorrow, and I must admit I’ve been identifying with a lot of stuff.

It’s particularly the more covert departments, like cognitive and social cognitive deficits, “subjective disturbance of self” etc. it’s kind of. distressing i guess.

because it means more or less ALL my stuff can be explained as psychosis-related? plus stuff that i hadn’t considered dysfunctional is considered dysfunctional?

~__________________Read More for Mobile Folks__________________~

Attentional deficits, concentration problems (often mistakenly diagnosed as adhd), executive deficits, social deficits such as: ability to read situations, understand other’s emotional reactions, difficulties with irony and sarcasm, difficulty reading facial expressions.

Thought interference (thoughts disturbing other thoughts), uncontrollable rumination, thoughts disappearing suddenly, thoughts seeming foreign, difficulty making even simple decisions, thoughts with sound and placement (of course??). Issues with short-term memory (just checked if the road was clear but cant remember. this is my issue with driving, shit).

Feeling different/wrong/not fitting in as long as the patient can remember. lack of/confused sense of self perhaps including gender identity (fuck that but also true). issues registering own thoughts. dissociation. hyperreflectivity (constant train of thought reflecting on your own emotions, actions and thoughts). lack of common sense. anxiety.

sudden shocks, pain or numbness in body parts, a feeling like the body is foreign to yourself, of losing control of your body. difficulty ascertaining what is a part of yourself and surroundings (was that my arm? fuck. and the sequel: i thought it was my arm but it’s the duvet w h a t ).

Like these are all so ME. ?? And I didn’t really think of it as psychosis related stuff. And to be fair this was all written specific to schizophrenia, particularly premorbid (before it becomes entirely apparent), but I think it counts under the vague-post-ish diagnosis they gave me.

I feel like I’ve been somewhat justified in the thoughts I’d been having of anxiety, adhd and ASD. Since if you take away the psychosis thing, which, if schizophreniform, account for all those symptoms above and more, I think they might be diagnosed individually.

It feels strangely unfair? Now I have this weird diagnosis that is only mentioned as two lines in my book, “ used for those types of psychoses that can’t fit under other types, or which can’t yet be classified because of a lack of information”. And it doesn’t ring any bells for anyone, not even me.

And if I had just kept my mouth shut about psychotic stuff I could have maybe had that. Probably not ASD because of how the system works and it’s not like I’m a hundred percent sure, but anxiety and adhd are really likely. And that would have been such an easy constellation of diagnoses to present neatly to people and myself.

now instead everything off about me can be explained by this “not-quite-schizophrenia” but “beyond-schizotypal” “working theory/diagnosis” thing they got going. And I have this eery feeling that in their eyes there’s a “yet” in there. And it bothers me, because I like to say it’s been unchanged forever but it’s not really quite true I think.. but I have to be careful what I tell them, now. I’m supposed to keep the narrative straight, but it’s hard because honest to god: my memory isn’t that great at all, and it’s hard for me to figure out when certain symptoms were or weren’t present.

I have a definite feeling a lot of areas might have been better ages 16-23, and that things have been going downhill since 2014 in general. though 16-23 had downperiods too, they were probably of less than half a year’s length at a time. I feel like it’s been going somewhat progressively downhill since the second semester of university? But I’m choosing to attribute it to stress. (though I’m always stressed?) Another very likely source of confusion is that my memory is bad and I might have forgotten bad stuff from that time.

I would usually say the worst has been 3-10, followed by 10-15. But 23-25 have been pretty shitty and I wonder if it will come to mirror 3-10, so 23-30 turns out to become a real hassle too. Still nothing has topped my childhood and i’m thankful for that. but it does worry me if I am being completely honest, which most of the time, I am less prone to be.

When i really think hard I see that there’s a tendency for cycles of half-a-year throughout at least the last five-ten years. Where I will be worse and worse and worse, and then a “chapter” will be over, and the issues be gone with it, then a new chapter begins and gets worse and worse, until that is cleared up too. But I think it’s connected to my life being cut up into half-a-year pieces. for a while I basically moved every half year, and started something new.

It could be that being stuck doing one thing, even with the semesters, is not providing enough change to rock me out of the downward spiral? (And I’d been rooting for the two month holiday at the other end of the world to do the trick but alas)

I’m sorry I’m just thinking out loud, and my blog helps me think because I’m speaking to someone but not someone specified and it’s in text-format and i can just keep going and no one is forced to listen to me though they can choose to read.

yet it’s (negatively) amazing how long posts become when I just start writing. the nurse did write that my speech was “circumstantial” ^^” I’m kind of sorry yet not sorry because whoever you are, you read all the way to the end of your own free will. thank you. please like if you did read so I know. thank you so much. have a great day or night!!!!!

#kit doesn't know when to shut up #cut for length and rumination #at this point im probably at the point where i've said all there is to say on the matter and should shut up #but #i refer back to the first tag #:p

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jonghyyn · 7 years

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1)this fandom turned to be disturbing yall only care about shinee sexual orientation and gender when its not of anyone's business. you spend all ur time on fighting over their personal matters instead of enjoying their music and what they give us. both sides acting like what they say is confirmed facts nd when one of shinee say random names or look at someone you act like they want to have sex with them nd yall act that the only attraction is sexual or romantic

2)the side that gets angry of the possibility that shinee are queer is homophobic nd not all idols has to be cis. the side that gets angry at the possibility that shinee might be like girls is weird coz we don't know these idols in real life no matter what they say or share with us

3) as an pan-aro nd part of lgbt its lowkey skeevy for me that shawols are painting shinee as lgbt icons when they only did basic decent things but in no way they r lgbt icons. yall literally could be calling a hetero guys an lgbt icons. I get wanting to connect more with them nd wanting representation but its not like this. actual lgbt people get killed nd a lots of lgbt people are fighting for our rights with little support bc we r looking in representation somewhere else we r not sure about

4) and please don't start with the closet talk bc I know how dangerous for an idol to come out but the idols u think they r queer might not be queer in the first place and if they were we have no right to want to them out too, at the end we don't know their sexualities. what am I saying is both opinions should be treated as headcanons not as confirmed facts nd this whole issue shouldn't have got that big. also neurodivergent idols headcanons should be respected too

tbh i dont even know what ur..trying 2 say by this?? i dont understand how youre like Yeah, Headcanons! but when ppl talk about headcanons ur like no...i didnt mean it like that... i mean it honestly baffles me how you reconcile these two things. if u respect ppls abilities to have headcanons youve also got to accept ppls ability to Talk about them as headcanons?? getting in discussions w ppl who say every idol Must be straight or cis isnt fighting w someone over shinees orientations Specifically, its fighting against the bigotry involved in this line of thinking. arguing w ppl who say “___ Msut be cishet” is not saying “_____ must not be cishet” its saying to question what motivates ppl to say the first thing. its not really About shinee exclusively bc its applicable to every single idol, and tbh every single person. its a discussion larger than any one particular person. i think this is an aspect that a lot of ppl miss.

also i truly dont know when ive ever acted like attraction can only be sexual or romantic bc i rly have not. talking about how queer idols Exist is not demanding idols be out. its acknowledging a reality that is hardly ever acknowledged. like. ignoring queerphobia is Not whats going to make it easier for idols to come out, discussing how queerphobia manifests in the idol industry is what will.

it really tires me when ppl pull out the U Spend All Ur Time Doing This, we’re all here for the music!! enough of that!! because while thats true, we all did become connected through shinee through music, a part of being an Active participant in fandom for many ppl is also like...talking about stuff besides their music. we’re here for their music but the Reason ppl blog about them and do shit like make gifs or edits or fics or what have u is bc they also care about the members themselves. their music is a given. i also like mamamoos music a whole ton, but i dont have a blog dedicated 2 mamamoo bc i am not As invested in the band members as i am in shinee. which isnt to say that every stan has to get involved w this specific discourse or even discourse in general, just that stans often Do get involved w non-musicy things in the process of stanning.

why is it that only queer headcanons are policed to this level...why is it only queer headcanons are met w Listen To Their Music Instead ! instead of the numerous other things ppl involved in fandom do that dont directly relate to their music. why dont u tell gif makers that theyre Too Obssesed w shinees faces and to go listen to their music instead. ppl do shit like “boyfriend imagines” for shinee which are 1000% unrelated to their music and tbh effectively function as Headcanons except youll never see ppl respond to that with Go Listen To Their Music Instead! while its not always (although it. often is lmfao) explicitly said, a lot of bf imagines are implicitly cishet and i feel like this is undoubtedly why those are accepted w/o word. bc ppl find being cishet ‘more polite’ and ‘less intrusive.’ when u make being queer a taboo to talk about (whilst simultaneously accepting anyone that talks about being cishet) u are basically saying that it is more acceptable to be cishet, while being queer is something that ought to be kept private. if ur truly adamant that this is about not spending enough time enjoying shinees music, then id like 2 see u come at every single other thing in fandom that has nothing to do w music. every time you see someone say “hey jonghyun would make a great bf” remind that person they shldnt care about something like that and shld instead be supporting shinees music. in any case, you ought to examine what makes u think that someone being queer is taboo to speak of while not rallying against statements like ‘he would be a great bf 2 his girlfriend.’

anyway i agree that ultimately what people are doing is making. headcanons. ive always agreed w this fact? this is a thing i continually say?? its why im not out there to Objectively Prove that jonghyun is gay or bi or whatever. the reason people respond to statements like ‘no jonghyun is not gay hes a straightie hetero’ with ‘no ur wrong’ bc the first statement is one that is Constantly enforced by society and it just functions as a way 2 shut down queer voices and reassert the heterosexual default present Everywhere. society treats straight as the absolute default. this is why straight “Headcanons” arent treated as well lmao... headcanons. theres rly no reason for anyone out there 2 headcanon something as straight?? when its the Assumed Sexuality in every situation?? tbh the only reason ppl are interested in doing that is Denying that idols might not be straight. doing this when ppl are Forced 2 be straight is gross. theres a difference between queer ppl saying Hey, remember not all idols are straight so lets talk about that and straight ppl being all No! ur wrong! he cant be anything but straight so shut up! these two things are coming from different perspectives.

like. imagine a pie being sliced up. historically, a 100% of this pie has been given to straight people. when queer ppl speak up, theyre trying to take some of their fair share of this pie. saying Hey, queer ppl exist!! is trying to section urself out a piece of the pie when youve been given none. someone saying Nope!! theyre all definitely straight is stealing back the measly slices someone has Actively Fought to obtain and attempting to perpetuate this imbalance.

im not rly here for ppl painting shinee as lgbt icons. ive expressed how annoying i find statements like ‘king of the gays’ or whatever to be. but also just. saying that anyone in shinee might be lgbtq is not painting them as an lgbtq icon?? its just stating a fact?? esp since a lot of the King of The Gays ! stuff seems to come from ppl who position him as a Amazing Cishet Ally so. idek buddy i feel like youve got to further think through some of your positions bc some seem to be in direct conflict with others.

#long post #i am unable to be concise literally ever #but anyway my dude. how can u accept that headcanons are okay but also expect ppl to like..never talking about them...#i agree all headcanons should be respected but this sort of requires ppl being allowed to talk about their headcanons u know ?#i truly feel like youve got 2 work through some of this stuff and think it through #ppl talking about headcanons doesnt mean they dont care about other things #i definitely do #its just that the only thing im Interrogated on is headcanons and im a rather long winded person so ill answer as such #while im a Discourse Prone person and i discourse a lot of this #(mostly- like i said earlier abt- whats going on Conceptually bc Thats the most important thing here its not a shinee exclusive subject)#but someone could hold the same opinions i do w/o necessarily discoursing about them (and i kno ppl that are like that in fact)#anon #ask

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groundberry · 7 years

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im very sorry if youre on mobile and dont want to see degrassi season 4 spoilers but oh my god

this show. just had. the first nb character ive ever seen on mainstream tv ever. and like. i know netflix isnt a television network, but its mainstream in its own right. degrassi was the first tv show in canadian history to have a trans man as a main character on the network much music. (listen,,, i know they treated adam like a piece of shit and he was played by a cis girl but its still a huge deal to me. he was literally the first time i ever heard that being trans is a thing and the show presented it as a normal part of life’s different struggles and ways to be and i can never thank them enough for that).

(also as far as i can tell jamie bloch is a cis girl so 👀 you need to actually cast trans people for trans roles mayhaps!>!>!?)

anyway. the first episode of the season yael was uncomfortable with their tiddies and i immediately was like “yael is trans” bc, yeah, cis girls can have that problem, but somethieng about the way it was presented !!! they were tugging at their shirt bc they were inherently uncomfortable with the clothes they were wearing, not bc of an outside factor like being aware after someone made a comment. it felt. undeniably internal.

and then lola took them bra shopping and i was like “ok a typical “”””girly scene””””, please dont ruin this.” and yael said they wish their boobs werent there at all and an employee who overheard was like “hey !!! wanna try on this binder?” and yael did and. cried. they cried bc they finally saw a glimpse of their real self. and i was like !!!!!! degrassi mentioned and showed adam binding but they showed him in pain. which is a totally valid story/perspective to tell. but. lets show trans ppl being happy!!! and affirmed!!! lets break down the “i knew since i was 4″ trope and show someone who realizes who they are later in life. let them be confused, conflicted, worried, even hostile at the thought of them being trans. let them be uncertain.

another amazing scene was lola actually telling yael about a youtuber she watched who’s genderq*eer. especially now, its really important to show that not everyone arrives at their own identity on their own and sometimes other people help them along their journey and i just!!!!! i still cant believe thsi show DID that. they are nonchalantly teaching kids and parents that the gender binary isnt real, and we’re seeing it from a(n initially) confused person’s point of view thats really easy to empathize with. and i love how lola, baaz, and vijay started using they pronouns right off the bat, like that was soooo incredibly wonderful to see. idek where im going with this anymore. i didnt write all of waht i wanted to say but im too jittery to get it organized. thank you degrassi. youve had (and have) a lot (A LOT) of problems, esp regarding race and class, but you can also do things lik e this !

#.txt #idk!!?????#i recognize they have a shit ton of problems but they also do show groundbreaking storylines that can really help ppl

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dannybangs · 6 years

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hey so this is a vent post so dont read it if like you dont care l m a o

so my first gf and i are ancient history at this point but like we still keep coming into contact randomly over the years but im just having this realization

luna only comes back to talk to me when it suits her, and never really considered my feelings as a friend, let alone as an unresolved ex

she broke up with me originally in an abusive way, when my parents were on holiday and i was home alone. she was meant to come sleep over and keep me company because honestly, it was fucking lonely. instead, she went to a party to drink and have fun (without telling me), and after sending a few messages on facebook, she blocked me.

i called her number crying, but instead of her answering, it was a friend. i told them how down in the dumps i was, with no friends in my town because i went to a semi private school the next town over. while they were as supportive as they could be, they told me luna didnt want to talk to me anymore and wouldnt come to the phone, even though i could hear her laughing and having fun in the background.

i was not in a stable place at this point. i was 16, my first love was breaking up with me (and not even in the shittiest way via text, but in the absolute cowards way via blocking and ignoring me)

long story short, we broke up. messily. all i knew was that she found new friends and moved on.

years later, anonymous starts asking about past relationships, and when i start talking about luna, they latch onto that and start asking more questions.

turns out its luna, and at the time im honestly ecstatic. like, my favourite person in the world is finally talking to me again. but when i look back , luna only got back in contact with me because she had recently moved away from home, her parents were divorced, and she didnt have many, if any, friends.

eventually though, after talking for a bit on tumblr, she disappears without a word again. deletes her tumblr and i cant contact her anymore

late 2016 hits, and i get a friend request from her on facebook. she wants to play overwatch, so i add her, we play that night and get on pretty well. after that though, she’s pretty vacant. eventually, when she stops responding to invites on battle net over the next 4 months or so, i take her off battle net and set her profile on facebook to low notifications, but still friends.

mid 2017, and we get back in contact over a facebook post of hers saying she doesnt feel like she belongs in social spaces and talks about how lonely she is. we talk, i say i might be moving to her town, she seems excited and it seems like she wouldnt mind catching up.

and then no contact.

again.

keep in mind that over all these years, im honestly still kind of in love with this girl. i never really got any closure on why she broke up with me, the reasons shes given me over the years changes a lot. she wanted to experiment, she wasnt interested in me anymore, she thought i was moving when i wasnt, and eventually saying that she didnt want to burden me with her depression.

if we go by this last reason, its honestly kinda shit. i never got a choice in the matter. she made up my mind up for me, and broke my heart for me.

lets fast forward to our last conversation. three nights ago, 6am and i havent slept for like 2 days. i straight up ask her ‘look, would you ever consider dating me in the future’

i wait a day and i get no reply. so the next night, i tell her not to worry about it and i wont bother her again.

she instantly replies, saying that shes been thinking about it, and that its a question that cant be answered until i move closer and we ‘actually hang out and get to know each other’ again

i ask her again, this time defining it as a general possibility in our future.

first message makes my heart soar. ‘i dont see why not tbh’

second message crushes me. ‘other than im a huge lesbian and i dont know what you ID (identify) as these days’

its her soft way of saying ‘i think because you present as male and prefer male pronouns, i cant let my lesbian aesthetic that ive built up to my new friends and girlfriend crumble by considering dating you’

luna always said she was pan / bi before she was transitioning (shes a trans girl and im a trans guy) but while she was questioning her gender, until she had a bad wrap with several gay guys. and i get how peoples preferences change over the years, i really do.

but it really hurts to see this girl who you grew and changed with (we both started questioning our sexuality and gender together) turn into a gold star lesbian (in my definition, this is a girl who ONLY dates women and doesnt consider he/him lesbians and similar situations)

it crushes me because ive never gotten over this girl for 4 years now, and i thought that eventually we might meet again and get to know each other again and maybe be together. but obviously thats not the case

what made me start thinking about how i was an idiot for chasing and entertaining this thought of ‘the girl who got away’ was today, when i get my letter from the district health board telling me my endocrinology appointment is in 3 weeks. and i realized how excited i am to start T and properly transition.

like, reading that letter made me realize that i was holding onto my past, as a girl, with this stranger who doesnt know me or love me anymore. why would i ever consider not transitioning just so i can be with this person.

im young as hell, in a relationship with a girl that loves me to pieces, who is just as excited as i am that im about to start transitioning and becoming the person i want to be

im excited for the future, and i cant wait to move to a new town with my girlfriend, start T, start the degree i always wanted, and forget about the past that i was hopelessly clinging to

honestly, writing this was really cathartic. i cried a lot writing this, because this is still a new pain im dealing with. but i feel a lot better now. thanks for reading guys

#danny the fuckboy speaks #new year new me #cathartic #venting

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