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#YO FOO DOG
charlottan · 9 months
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ok final lineup for 90s bracket under the cut (128 bands)
311
4 Non Blondes
Air
Alice in Chains
Aphex Twin
Backstreet Boys
Barenaked Ladies
Beck
Ben Folds Five
Bikini Kill
Björk
Blind Melon
Blink-182
Blues Traveler
Blur
Boards of Canada
Bowling For Soup
Boyz II Men
Built To Spill
Burzum
Butthole Surfers
Cake
Cibo Matto
Counting Crows
Crash Test Dummies
Dave Matthews Band
Deftones
Destiny's Child
Dinosaur Jr.
Dismemberment Plan
Dixie Chicks
Eels
Elliott Smith
Failure
Faith No More
Fiona Apple
Fishmans
Foo Fighters
Fountains Of Wayne
Fu Manchu
Fugazi
Gin Blossoms
Goldfinger
Grandaddy
Green Day
Guided By Voices
Hole
Hootie & The Blowfish
Incubus
Jamiroquai
Jane's Addiction
Jeff Buckley
Jimmy Eat World
Korn
Kyuss
Lenny Kravitz
Limp Bizkit
Living Colour
Manic Street Preachers
Marilyn Manson
Massive Attack
Matchbox Twenty
Melvins
Mercury Rev
Meshuggah
Moby
Modest Mouse
Mogwai
Morphine
Mr. Bungle
My Bloody Valentine
Neurosis
Neutral Milk Hotel
Nine Inch Nails
Nirvana
No Doubt
NSYNC
Oasis
Opeth
Pavement
Pearl Jam
Phish
Pixies
PJ Harvey
Placebo
Porcupine Tree
Portishead
Primus
Pulp
Queens of the Stone Age
R.E.M.
Radiohead
Rage Against the Machine
Rammstein
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Rob Zombie
Sleater-Kinney
Sleep
Slint
Slowdive
Smash Mouth
Sonic Youth
Soul Coughing
Soundgarden
Spice Girls
Spiritualized
Stereolab
Stone Temple Pilots
Sublime
Swirlies
Teenage Fanclub
Temple Of The Dog
The Cranberries
The Flaming Lips
The Goo Goo Dolls
The Jesus Lizard
The Magnetic Fields
The Presidents of the United States of America
The Smashing Pumpkins
The Verve
They Might Be Giants
Third Eye Blind
Toad The Wet Sprocket
Tool
Ween
Weezer
Wilco
Yo La Tengo
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Yin Yang Yo! ☯️ Reboot Ideas
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Yin, Yang Yo, like Danny Phantom was also a big chunk of my childhood and I genuinely liked it. And sometimes I still watch a bit. With that said I also acknowledge the show had some problems, and many things wouldn't exactly track today. I think there were was a lot of good potential and could be a good reboot, but I would change some stuff. I got a lot of ideas, especially from my chats with @g00mb13 💖💖💖
Title change. Yin, Yang, Yo! Woo Foo Warriors!
Remove some unnecessary characters to give the more prominent ones more development and screen time
Focus more on Yin and Yang's symbolism to the yin and yang. I think it'd be cool if they explored the whole yin/yang thing more. Yin despite being presented as the more moral is named after the dark part. And has shown signs of selfishness and ego. And I remember night master trying to unlock their negative parts. What if they explored that with Yin. She becomes the new night master.
More serious, emotional moments.
Become more plot focused.
Concept idea. People who are associated with the Yin if succumbed to their darker parts can become the Night Master and for people of the Yang, can become the Day Master. Both the extreme dark parts of a person.
Night Master concept.
Becoming a Night Master is a mix of choice but also dark influence. I’m not a fan of the was brainwashed completely. I like when the character goes bad out of their own choices. The process of being a night master is to become consumed by your negative feelings and thoughts. The force looks for those who aren’t in the best place emotionally. Perhaps some turn to the night not for evil reasons, some even for good reasons but overtime the more they give in, the more they lose their good. Maybe being the yin isn’t bad but giving into the more negative turns you into the night. The same pretty much applies for the Day Master.
Potential Yin/Yang powers.
Make Eradicus a more serious villain.
Give Night Master more backstory. Show who he used to be before becoming the Night Master.
Give Yin and Yang casual clothes. I also wanna give them bunny tails.
Redesign Lina to look more dog like.
Give Yuck more screen time and development. Have him be able to find peace and redemption, have love. Have him realize even if he's made from Yin and Yang's negative qualities he's still capable of good, just as how they're traits r important for them to have. Let him become part of the fam!
Definetley rewrite Saranoia. Maybe make her a proud sorceress who feels magic's the superior method to stuff and HATES brawny warriors such as Yang and Ultimoose. Perhaps make Ultimoose the same but with fighting. He was a against magic as shown in ep 1.
Have Yin and Yang practice eachothers separate styles more. Have Yin still be mainly mystic but also know good combat skills and vice versa for Yang.
Carl redemption arc, show people he can be pretty cool! Perhaps have him start out as what he was like in s1 and able to become more intimidating, maybe even work for NM a bit but eventually realize he just wanted to be validated and recognized and join the good guys when things become too evil for him and finally get the validation he wanted.
Less gross out, mean spirit and especially gender related humour. I know a lot fo complaints where because of that.
Make the characters nicer. Def still keep their flaws and traits but also tone down the mean parts, especially after character development.
Coop-Theres many ways to go about this but basically make him less creepy or make him realize that's not ok and accept Yin isn't into him.
Personally I'll think a rewrite him as a genuinely nice guy. Very shy and keeps to himself most of the time. I still want him to work for Night Master but not to win Yin.
Have Yuck and Coop get to know eachother on account of both working for NM.
Yin and Yang's mom reveal!
What do u think? What would u do if YYY got a reboot? I'd love to know💖
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heehawkins · 1 year
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yo this is my dog’s favorite song apparently…I was humming it and she lost her damn mind so I played it and she just froze and stared at the speaker
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deeteeh · 22 days
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Yo Pussy I heard you got stepped on by a Chihuahua
Weak ass bitch even small dogs think they better than ya
Got turned into a boot by them petty ass mutts in shih tzus
Face flatter than concrete now, damn that's some bad luck foo'
It's okay lil buddy, we know you was screaming and ballin'
As lil Cujo dragged his nuts all across yo ugly mug, callin'
You his bitch, had you in full makeup crying like a HULU show
Now you walk with a limp and it ain't got nothin' to do with bro
Fuck around and catch these hands you might end up crippled
I'll turn you into a sideshow freak, fuckin' mangled and giblets
You desperate tryna step, sayin' I got two steps?
Step off before I embarrass your ass, you burnt pancake rejects
Ain't no saving your crusty makeup face now, Cruisy
After two stomps or these hands you gon' be unrecognizable, snoozy
you straight bummin', worse than a mutt on a curb
Gettin yo shit crushed by some Timbs, how yo mind work?
You stank like the sewer, face uglier than a skunk's rear
No wonder the pooch stomped yo ass, even animals cant stand bein near
Boy you an embarrassment, only time you leave the house is when they take out trash
How many L's you catch a day just from walkin around?
More than the steps it took to squash yo lame ass into the ground
Not one part of you decent, head to toe you a scuff
Even the roaches hit the ducts when they see your disgusting mug puff
Run yo sad ass back to the pound before these hands do you wrong
Street meat like you don't belong here, back where the fleas fester strong
So bounce 'fore you bite off more than you can chew
Or catch more stomps till the pavement's up beneath your shoe
Little Chihuahua wanna be big but we know you shook
Put them paws on you, one touch and your punk ass booked
I've seen alley cats scarier than yo scrawny ugly mug
How you steppin' when you squeak just like a little bug?
Boy you step and these boots really gonna do you wrong
Two stomp yo ass flatter than a pancake on the concrete, dawg
Tail between your legs crying home back to yo kennel
Fleas all over yo mangy pelt, you disgusting as hell
Now bounce before master put yo ass in the pound
I let you live but next time my shoe might put you in the ground
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incarnateirony · 1 month
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Could I get like a recap or smth of what’s going on on this blog?
Your local resident Script Thief And Media Leaker happens to have a Secret Identity as a High Grade Magus in a Graded Brotherhood who has an ex So Fucking Insane she has stalked me for three years and made a cult to me confusing me with the god I follow, it's a mess. She's the one finally understanding it, and that's what fucking matters in the end.
Believe it, don't, it's up to you, but there's people yelling all the way back from ancient egypt on this blog for the last month, and a bunch of Very Funny Shit.
If you disbelieve, but want to be entertained, go back about a month and scroll through everything and pretend Gabriel just hijacked the blog, but he's Glitchtrap, and Changing Channels is Changing Cartridges.
When I say three years, I mean three years after I left her, in a ten year on off cycle of with her, but also, if you DO believe, there's again about 5,000 years of bullshit i snapped on, and you're watching a newbie witch lose a warlock battle. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
Anyway hi, I'm a trickster, you can call me glitchtrap but Aaron works. My ex got REAL confused at what I can do, fucked me up with The Great God Hermes, made a cult to me I'm trying to disband, and that's this blog's plot.
It's a mess. She stole Aaron's anime octopus jibberish and thought it was divine prophecy and monetized it, he got angry as one of the dozen modern Magi, I literally cannot explain to you in any timeline the exact events that did or did not happen according to your position and cognition, but Tartarus is in Splatoon now, Hellsing is in Tough Love summoning my red Cromwell eyes in Tartarus Reaper Revenge Weather, Elsa is in Fornite with guns and my 10 year old OC, and we're stuck in a remix by Foolish Glamrock until she gets off my cosmic dick.
We are VERY aware it is everyone's favorite tower, and that's why there's a whole Side Order in Splatoon, Mr Krabs downsmash is real, it's been a complicated month.
There you go.
Anyone that wants to understand general craft, the concept isn't that hard if you have the right connections, I just dumped the Superbowl's eyes into the Tartarus based sigil I used to mine this bitch to pieces and transmogrify her into useful creation. Helldivers was a great air drop yo, half a million player online cap at all time, Atlus is trying to catch up to hold up the Persona servers running everyone through tartarus and jung targeted to her psyche while it's been falling apart, purely because she refuses to get off my cosmic cock.
She signed her house, her home, address, business, a false religion of "channeling" personality shadows, years of her roleplay constructions, portraits in her gallery to my image, and now her world has been bent and some nearby observers are tilting their heads. But either way I have something like a literal permanent ongoing million focal points of intent targeting coincidentally manifesting adjacent ideas to attack that represent the psyche that signed herself to it, and now we're here, and tartarus showed up in the funny octopus game. She tried to plagiarize my Everything so I just warlocked it back at her and she's not having a Great Time.
There's the notes for dummies. She got a new foo dog statue, it has my eyes. I spent the mornin trying to protect our old dog from her own choices killing him in the loop of judgment made for her and it showed up. Fun times.
Oh? Their file crashed? Sorry bitch there's thousands more, you will not stop this by running away. I was trained in swapping liminal states and dividing my strong personal identity from others I can commune with, and that becomes very funny tweets or even outright timelines where their entire usernames are 'corrupted'. All the way, this time, bitch, you let us go, or Vesuvius all over again.
Your fraud ass walked into this acme trap, even while he literally gave you a warning 'to the dumb kids' and waved at the screen through the screen for you, and now we're here, and he's helping throw you off the tower.
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so weird this express shipped to meet my full moon birthday overlapping full moon overlapping literally every disco being done on your fucking fraudster FACE for a fucking MONTH. We're almost there bitch, and it's Thoth's month, what did I tell you about your fucking dice count and days, oh whatever, keep fucking rolling them seeing HOW far you're allowed to fucking backpedal without openly confessing the truth, yea? YOU LITERALLY DO NOT CARE WHO DIES FOR YOU.
ALL OF THIS!!! A DESIRE TO A CULT OF ATTENTION!!! LARGELY PROPPED ON ME, BUT TRYING TO FULFILL YOU, AND NOW YOU CAN ONLY VAGUELY CLAIM PSYCHIC MEDIUM. THE FUCK YOU BEEN CHANNELING THE LAST THREE YEARS BITCH????
MY DICK!!! CONFESS IT.
Stop treating me like your motherfucking boss fight to fight everything against!! Your own reflections are making pyramidhead, you are trying to monetize the warnings we put in your head from our false shadows, literally everything. Saying "I was overall and completely wrong, and will relearn" should NOT BE THIS FUCKING COMPLICATED, BUT THERE IS NO PATH WHERE TRYING TO RAPE MY FACE FOR ETERNITY GETS YOU TO ELYSIUM BECAUSE YOU CANT LET GO. THATS CALLED TARTARUS, BITCH.
If you haven't caught the fucking message, until you let go of ALL your bullshit, literally on a personal, not blog deep level--but one that ACTUALLY IMPACTS THE WORLD AROUND YOU--you are fucking stuck and can't do SHIT while you are eaten apart, because you fucking wanted to be us so goddamn bad.
Hermetic Intoxication. Would have been neat if someone posted the link.
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writer59january13 · 4 months
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Black
Font Din
so u real???
Warning! The following choppy, batty, dopey: elegy = flaky, goofy, history: iffy, jumpy, kooky: loopy, matty, nappy, nippy, sketchy material prone to find the reader dazed and bewildered, yet comfortably numb.
Modern Roam Min Times – mesh
THERE IS NO RELATION WITH THE EPIC OF GILGAMESH (abridged from brook land) AND THIS VIGNETTE – in ma Englesh.
thank a u faux sis this married sexagenarian encloses his poetic opus
the smooching this celibate
(sleep as a cellar dweller) chap doth miss
shaw wish i could give hew a kiss
though ye might rip ply with a hiss
that would usher inxs of x2c Noah obliging bliss.
while perched within mine
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania aerie
this totally mishmash, succotash, n trash -
hoopfully finds ya cheery
so...hallo n greetings ma dearie
just faw bean help ming this fool
i.e. myself who haint no fairy,
boot possibly the missing humankind link
cuz o be yin - head to feet - completely as hairy
Siamese twins with names Tom n Jerry
'though ye might disbelieve moi n feel leery
n doubt every word written -
but try 2 feign b ying merry
while i pose the following philosophical query...
to make sense = deciphering billy shakes perry
now take a mooch needed break cuz,
the following gibberish might beak comb quite weary.
Is society a better world to live in with less or more?
boy! those Everclear caveman days were brutish,
nasty, short and rough. that aside, though no Culture Club, Fancyfeast, nor Iggy Pop the Flintstone era a bit raucous, riotous, and yabba dabba with Doobie Brothers rubble ye us.
Def Jam, ear splitting cacophony felt like listening to partying beastie boys on a vampire weekend competing with Def Leopards roar n rush shin version of hells bells, Inxs of pulp fiction sung backwards by cold play, or a brutally nasty, yet thankfully short version per youtube video drowning out beach boys straight out ta Compton winking in the hood while loud Quiet Riot !@#$ growls shook B52 sized bats overhead, when this grizzled papa bear disturbed (like twittering angry birds), and forced to wake prematurely from hibernation set his seething animal anger to boil, and smoke to issue from jack rabbit ass nine looking Don Quixote ears.
argh! go. whar art thou Cello Yo Yo Ma?
the gumption from this then profoundly gap toothed, high browed, red necked ursine, viperous spouse getting one swiftly tailored kick in the bony arse sent me flying like a twisted sister careening forward out of summer time sadness air back to the future. right then n tha hair, earth, wind and fire convinced this Homo sapiens he became another Grateful Dead Foo Fighter.
upon immediate and most unwelcome exposure therapy to the Avast arctic blast (complete with Arctic Monkey), this Mama’s and Papa’s Boy (by George) was in no mood to neither tangle nor play footsie with Mother Nature.
Analogous to The Idler Wheel Is Wiser than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More than Ropes Will Ever Do, I wanted to whip the hide, when needles of miniature aeroplane shaped snow white slippery buckshot elements of style kissed, pierced and smashed against his face from those shoddily made flimsy animal clothes that barely kept him warm. Lucky for vat of midnight oil, which shrouded me in n wispy pearl jam pelt.
Tears for Fears spilled in One Direction (like 10,000 Maniacs bursting from a Soundgarden or highly revved Motorhead emulating a Quiet Riot).
Wah. Stop crying bellowed the Queen Scorpion (Poison ing the Air Supply).
Without - dark shadows of a doubt slunk N’Sync with the twilight zone along the edge of night, these beatle browed Monkeys (strewn by denim dog gone hooligans), who cawed like sum Cajun gumbo baboons as proto Partridge Family for a banana split Sunday closing out Vampire Weeknd packing a full house at the Tokyo Hotel.
Anyway, I practically froze off mine scrawny tush.
Dang! Ooh, how purty, a cute deer. Out came the bow and arrow. the feathered lancet described a Nike arc with Nike like swoosh bulls’ eye.
Upon uttering "hey Lucy i am home", the little beasts tore their sharp nine-inch long nails into soft raw doe.
Bathe? The (Puddle Of Mud battled crippled creek), when a dry riverbed doubles up as a mud bed or washbasin after the springtime flood.
How in the name of judas priest could our ancestors enjoy feeling like a beast of burden? who says you cannot always get what you want? Alice coop er in chains? Beastie boy George Cinderella? Eddie money? Freddie Mercury? Iron Maiden? Lana del rey? Jane’s addiction? Pink Floyd? Yes! the entire Motley Crue?
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gravityknife · 1 year
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Ripe Roots Sc.03
"Aight, we gon' swing past Rudy's house and pick sumfin up— then we gon' drop off n$gg$ Pipe at Kirsten's," said Erick.
"Aight, bet," said Deonte.
Erick threw the car into reverse and rolled his Supra out the garage and into the street, then went into drive and headed toward 7th and Trinity Ave. He drove slowly with the windows partially rolled down, and turned up his drill music to bump new hits around the hood.
Deonte worked on rolling up a joint in the passenger side, getting it done quickly, while Bronson 'Pipe' sat in the back spotting.
"Check dat out, bee. That there ain't neva was there, they move that there," said Erick, pointing at the building next to his ride, at the corner of 7th and Trinity. The building had a banner outside that read Rita's Smoke Shop.
"Naw, for real? Ain't notice that," said Pipe.
"Yeah, they moved in last week, ain't open yet," said Erick. He flickered his cigarette cherry out his window. "New corner open we can do some work there."
"Yuh," said Pipe, nodding along with the music. "Rita's— Smoke Shop."
Deonte got two ziggies rolled up and turned around to give to Pipe. Pipe leaned forward in his seat to snatch it with his lips, got it, then Deonte turned to Erick. "Yo, pass the light."
"Aight, naw wait," Erick said, taking in a long drag. "Do it with this." He handed Deonte the cigarette while the cherry was glowing hot and exposed, pointing it toward the back. Then he drew it back to himself and said, "Naw, the light down there, grab that." He pointed at the middle of the dash in the opening. The light at the corner turned green and Erick began to drive West down the avenue toward 18th and Trinity.
"Aight," said Deonte, picking a black and white 'Scarface' lighter from the dash and igniting it for Pipe.
"Hurry up," mumbled Pipe.
"Aight, cuz!" Said Deonte, playfully. He lit the joint for Pipe. Pipe inhaled hard and held it in, leaning back in his seat rapidly, then coughed out his exhale.
Deonte worked on his own joint, licking it closed and running his fingers along it.
"Yo," coughed Pipe. "Where a n$gg$ get them filters at?"
"Bruh, you get these from the gas station over there, across the street from uh— the Walmart and the uh— that one place with the Italian sh$t," stuttered Deonte.
"Yo, they got good food there. Place called Borrelli's."
"Ye, they got that good food there, n$gg$. Yo," said Deonte.
Pipe took in another big toke and exhaled a large puff, calming down his coughing streak.
Erick turned on 18th and made way through the broken residential area covered in ghetto houses with sh$tty yards. Plenty of dogs in that neighborhood, all barking at the pedestrians walking up and down 18th St. Erick kept going North toward Coolidge St. to start hitting some green lights.
"Borrelli's serve dat white sauce pasta with the three-cheese, and they bury that sh$t in cheese n$gg$ melts in yo mouth," Erick described vividly. "Every time I be feelin' like I gotsta get anotha' plate from them foos n' I already be at home. Dey make the best plates over there, hands down the greatest."
Deonte lit his joint and began taking a few puffs off it. Erick looked toward Deonte, then swiftly flicked his cigarette out the window. He held his hand up in anticipation, waiting for Deonte to pass it his way, keeping his other hand on the steering wheel.
Deonte gave Erick the joint, and Erick nabbed it to take a good hit. He inhaled, held in, and exhaled like a pro.
Deonte could already feel the high setting in, and he started to get noided.
Pipe was buzzing on one in the back, spotting outside, looking all around at the world. "What this hood come to, G?"
Erick assured, "Naw, it always been this way, ma n$gg$ eva since them Chicago n$gg$s and them Native American foos' been movin' in here."
Pipe was watching the pedestrians, black men with their shirts off and tied around their waists or thrown over their shoulders. Sweating black men with white wife beaters, sweatpants, and various colored Tim's boots and basketball kicks.
A young man wearing a backpack, grey hoodie, blue basketball shorts, and black Adidas was walking down the middle of the street with his hood up, bouncing his basketball against the tarmac. Erick had to slow his roll and wait for the kid to go around his car, and right then a bicyclist came from behind, cruising slowly up the road, keeping Erick on his brakes.
The guy on the bike was wearing a hoodie, as well, light blue jeans, and slip on Champions over white socks. He looked back behind him at Erick and took a drag from something he was smoking then pushed his pedals forward, vascillating in his steering.
Erick honked his horn once. "Yo!" It prompted the bicyclist to swerve his bike off the road and onto the sidewalk where he turned around and looked back at Erick. Erick whined, "Get off the road, n$gg$ tweakin' like damn.", He drove past and continued on toward Coolidge St.
There was a pause of silence, then Pipe opened up and said, "Erick said n$gg$ tweakin', ahaha, damn, n$gg$ prolly be tweakin' then." Pipe took in another hit.
"Yo, I ain't say sh$t. I ain't say nothin', Pipe. You know n$gg$s 'round here be like," Erick began, waiting for the subliminal.
Pipe picked it up and said, "Mm, yeah, n$gg$ bet."
Deonte piped up, "Yo, they the ones got dat horseradish dip inside the pasta sauce, mixed up with all that chopped onions n' vegetables n' sh$t?"
Erick played along, "Borrelli's? We gotchu, bee, wannin' t' go there anyway, yo. Yo, what time it be, n$gg$ Pipe?"
Pipe pulled his phone up right when Erick took another turn West to head down Coolidge St. and get onto N Westbrook St. Pipe checked the time on his phone screen. He declared, "It be about past five already, cuh." He placed his phone back into his pocket. It buzzed again, prompting him to pull it back out again.
"Naw, it almos' time for dinner, bee, but we gotta drop dis n$gg$ off, bee. Might gotta get Chic-Fil-A on the way, that sh$t back there, cuh," said Erick.
"Yo! We was supposed to pick up tha' sh$t at Rudy's!" Alerted Deonte.
"Ye, that be on the way, Deonte. You buggin', n$gg$ chill," said Erick, relaxedly. "I ain't stressin', look at all dese n$gg$s blockin' the roads n' sh$t. And what the f$ck be that over there?"
"That be a savage n$gg$, word," said Pipe laughing.
Erick, Deonte, and Pipe all looked on the side of a liquor store where a bald, black man with no shirt and no shoes, only jeans, was throwing a TV set out of an open dumpster, hopping out with it, while screaming profanities. He was yelling, in a rasp and heavy blaccent f$ck you broke a$$ b$tch$s uhuh you know I be workin' n' you run up ma electric bill like an ahah I'mma hit yo b$tch a$$ back wit' I got here n$gg$ lookuhdis here television set. He continued look ma n$gg$ waste a whole a$$ television set! ... n' it still got dat dee-vee-dee playa attach n$gg$ dis a steal ahhhah! N$gg$ dis here be heavy. Dis here be heavy, ma n$gg$, ahh!
"He straight buggin', yo," said Deonte, chortling.
"N$gg$ said dee-vee-dee, ahaha! N$gg$ ain't got no scrips fo' a Netflix account, no Hulu, he prolly ain't got no home— findin' sh$t he ain't need for a b$tch he ain't have," said Erick.
"N$gg$, you ain't got no b$tch, foo'!" Pipe yelled out the window toward the crazed bald, black man. The man looked up at them while holding onto the TV in front of himself, struggling, and then he simply stopped in his tracks, standing ankle deep in an oily, dirty puddle.
Erick sped up, causing the car to peel out slightly, and the crazed man stared into their rear-view mirror until the Supra was way down the street.
Deonte and Pipe were cackling.
"Yo, Pipe, cut that out, n$gg$, he gon' be acksin' fo' handouts pretty soon," chuckled Erick as he rolled up his rear left window. "Ain't 'boutta have that n$gg$ roll up n' wash ma windows to crack a n$gg$ windshield."
"Broke a$$ uncle Tom a$$ soundin' n$gg$, throwin' a whole a$$ tee-vee set out the dumpster. Ma n$gg$, if this ain't Pendelov," went Pipe. "N$gg$s be doin' some whack sh$t all the time out here, bee."
"Ain't no different in the hood, homie," said Deonte.
"Dis be da hood, homie," rhymed Pipe and Erick together, both of them cackling at Deonte.
Pipe's phone buzzed again. After checking the text, he announced, "Yo, Rudy can wait, this b$tch gonna bug out on me if I ain't there 'fore six, G."
Erick chuckled loudly, smiled, licked his lips, and looked into the rear view mirror at Pipe. "What she say, n$gg$ Pipe? She be like... why you duckin'?" Erick chortled and pulled up behind a car that wouldn't turn right on red, so he bullied their bumper. He could see it was some out-of-town couple.
He paused and nudged Deonte for another puff from his joint. It was nearing becoming a roach.
"Kirsten said Shandraneesha and her cousin wanna go clubbin' n' she want me to hurry up so they ain't gon' wait," explained Pipe.
Deonte reminisced, "Yo, bet, her cousins cute as f$ck, they was all at that party and I was like ah!" Nobody had a response for him.
The car in front of them finally nudged forward, but the light turned green. They erringly double-checked on green, prompting Erick to honk his horn. They drove off and he turned to head North again toward Petersen St.
Pipe got excited from his messages. "Yo, Erick, Kirsten wanna have me there dropped off in like five minutes ma n$gg$."
Erick chuckled and said, "They ain't gon' wait, Pipe. They ain't gon' wait, Pipe!"
Pipe detailed, "She tellin' me her cousin broke into her baby daddy house n' she tryna hide up in the club, ahaaah!"
"Yo, tell her we almos' at Rudy's," hurried Erick.
Pipe kept typing into his phone that chirped numerous whoop notification sounds in return.
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EPILOGUE FIVE
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KARKAT: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. SHOT CALLA
KARKIZZLE: SWIFA CIZZLE YOU...
Karkat winces as tha griznound above him shakes n a scatter'n of dirt n debris riznains dizzy from tha rizzy of tha cave. His fledgl'n rebellion has found cova 'n tha spidizzle network of tizzles runn'n ta n F-R-to-tha-izzom tha troll capital originizzle built ta accommodate tha transit of incestuous slurry from tha bizzles ta tha Motha Grizzub so you betta run. Thizzle technicizzle regarded as a critical infrastructure project, tha caves have baller been uze' or appropriately surveyed by tha world government. Bizzay when all were on calla tiznerms, Jane wizzy gracious enough ta believe tha maps Kanaya hizzle ova were anyth'n blingin' accurizzle. Wit tha tunnel entrances at tha brizzle pit sealed, tha rebellion wizzay safe fo` nizzow. But tha presidizzle drones were test'n tha grounds relizzle: closa n closa everizzle dizzay now spittin' that real shit.
It’s niznot tha diznirt tizzy bother'n him. Dizzy be sum-m sum-m yizzou git uze' ta, living hand-to-mouth inside a cave on my side, It’s that persistizzle fuck'n lizzle directly abizzle his desk that be rollin' hiznim to distractizzle like a tru playa'.
KARKAT: SWIFA!
Swifa Eggmizzle pokes ha heezee into tha crazy ass.
SWIFA: Aye aye Homie! W-H-to-tha-izzat’s up?
Karkizzle pinches tha bridge of his noze.
KARKAT mah: FO` THA LAST TIME, DON’T CALL ME THAT.
HOMEY: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. Wizzy not, Commanda? Ya tha Commanda, ain’t yizzle from tha streets of tha L-B-C?
KARKAT: NO, I BE NOT THA “COMMANDER.”
KARKAT: DID I EVER ASK TA BE 'N CHIZNARGE?
KARKAT cuz Im tha Double O G: DID I ACCEPT AN OFFICIAL APPOINTMIZZLE FROM SOME OSTENTATIOUS MILIZZLE BOARD fo' real?
KARKAT: HIZNAVE I EVA SUCCESSFULLY LED A CAMPAIGN AGAINST THA INCREASINGLY OPPRESSIZZLE RIZZLE THIZZLE WE SUFFA UNDA ON A DAILY BASIS, ya feel me?
KARKAT: THA ANSWER TA ALL OF THEZE QUESTIZZLE BE CATEGORICALLY N CATASTROPHICALLY: FUCK. NO.
SWIFA: Wizzle gee, Commanda. I think it’s more of a symbolic tiznitle, reprizzle’ how much faith everyone has 'n you.
KARKAT: WHAT FUCK'N FAITH like old skool shit?
KARKAT: AS JUST DISCUSZE' I HAVEN’T DONE A DIZZAY TH'N TA EARN ANYONE’S FAITH.
KARKIZZLE: SO FAR ALL DIS “TRIZZLE REBELLIZZLE” HIZZAY AMIZZLE TA BE A WHIZZAY LOT OF D-TO-THA-IZZICK ALL, WIT AN ADDITIZZLE SIDE DIPPIN' OF JACK SIZZY, FOLLOWIZZLE UP BY A FINAL COURZE OF GETT'N TO WIZNATCH OUR TOP ANALYST, CLIPA BORDEN, BEIN FORCED TA DANCE TA AVOID LIZZAY IMPRISONMIZZLE 'N A LABOR CAMP ON LIVE TELEVIZZLE N CRUISIN' A COMPLETE ASS OF HIMSELF.
Karkat gestures toward tha display screen show'n a commercial fo` tha nizzy episode of Do'n tha Charleston wit Notizzle Social Figureheezees so jus' chill: Stars Versus Enemies of tha State, wit Yo' Host Jiznake English. Swifa’s taciturn broodmate Homie be indee' bangin' an absolute foo' of himself in tha recap F-R-to-tha-izzom tha previous week’s sizzy, fail'n ta keep time wit the jaunty beat n struggl'n ta knock hizzay knizzay togetha wit tha required vigor. Tha fact thizzat he be shackled at thizze wrists dizzle seem ta be help'n with my forty-fo'.
SWIFA: Piznoor Clipa cuz its a doggy dog world.
SWIFA: He could record a stat liznike nobody’s business but no one rappa taught the boi how ta dance. Keep'n it gangsta dogg.
SWIFA: If only we kniznew, dis all coulda been avoidizzle.
KIZZLE: NO!
KARKAT: HE SHOULDN’T HAVE TA DANCE IF HE DOESN’T WANT TA.
KIZZLE: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. THAT’S WHAT DIS BE ALL 'BOUT SWIFER.
SWIFA: Drop it like its hot. Oh.
KARKIZZLE: They call me tha president. BIZZAY WHAT’S THA POINT IF I CIZZAN’T EVEN SIZZY ONE OF MAH LIEUTIZZLE FROM SLAPPIN' PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT FOLLOWED BY A LIFIZZLE OF HARD LABIZZLE 'N THA CAKE MILLS?
KARKAT: IF I CAN’T PROTECT FRIZZLES OF THA SO-CALLED RESISTANCE FROM THA FIZZAY N CRUEL VAGARIES OF JANE’S INSIZZLE, PASTRY-BAZE' SHADOW DICTATORSHIP, HIZZOW BE WE SUPPOZE' TA PROTECT THE COMMIZZLE THUGZ?
Hustla friznowns n tugs at tha kerchief around ha nizzy #YaDigg !
SWIFA: Golly. Look Commanda to increase tha peace. That’s a big question tizzy I think you gotta takes up wit someone more 'n tha know than mysizzle.
SWIFER: I jizzust swiznif tha fizzy.
KIZZLE: OH, YEAH. RIGHT.
KARKAT: LACKIN` OF WHICH.
KARKAT but don't give a fuck: THA LIZZLE IN THA CEIL'N?
Karkizzle throws both hands in tha air melodramatically. A D-R-to-tha-izzop of stale wata plops off one of his nizzle little hiznorns with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin.
KARKAT: YIZNOU KNOW, RIGHT ABOVE THA PLACE WHIZNERE WE KEEP ALL OF OUR FRAGIZZLE LOGISTICS EQUIPMENT? Freak y'all, into the beat y'all.
KARKAT so show some love! DIDN’T I T-TO-THA-IZZELL YOU TO FIX THIZZAY A FUCK'N WIZZAY AGO?
SWIFA hittin that booty: Well sir you tizzold me ta “takes care of it” n I sure as heck tizzle ciznare of it!
KARKAT: THEN WHY BE IT STILL LEAK'N?
SWIFA: Oh. By “fix” yiznou meant T-H-to-tha-izzat you wanted me ta plizzug tha crack!
KARKAT: W-H-TO-THA-IZZAT THA HIZZAY DID YOU THIZZINK I MEANT?
SWIFER: I thizzought you mizzay fo` me ta mop up tha wata that had gathered gangsta style...
SWIFA: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. N then uze that wata ta swif tha bejeebus out of tha floors.
BITCH: Which is, by all accounts, what I did.
Karkizzle gapes at ha, open-mizzle. Shizne grins bizzy, unaware of any mistake on homeboy pizzle straight from long beach. Tha onlizzle bustin' he can do be bizzle his F-to-tha-izzace 'n his palms.
KARKAT: UGH.
KARKAT: YIZZLE KNOW WHIZZAY? Freak y'all, into the beat y'all.
KIZZLE straight from long beach: I’M GO'N TA GIT S-TO-THA-IZZOME FRESH AIR.
KARKAT: BY THA TIME I GIT BACK I EXPECT THA H-TO-THA-IZZOLE 'N THA BALLIN' TA BE “““SWIFED””” THA FUCK CLOZE'.
KARKAT paper'd up: OR AT THA VERY LEAST
KARKAT: Smells like tha good shit. PUT A FUCK'N BUCKET UNDA THE LEAK OR SUM-M SUM-M.
SWIFA: Sir #YaDigg ! Oh mah gizzy! A bucket? Sh-shiznould we be seen...
SWIFER: Consortin’ witta bucket?
SWIFA: *Bitch*?
KIZZLE: OH MAH GOD.
KARKAT: GROW THA FUCK UP, EGGMOP.
He sizzy past his stylin' assistant witta belaborizzle sigh. Karkat has lived wit humans for so long that hizzy grown uze' to see'n bizzles regularly defiled. Now T-H-to-tha-izzat he thinks about it, he realizes Jade has uze' mizzy buckets to grow snap pizneas 'n ha liv'n room thizzle any troll hizzy used fo` tha purpozes of reproduction 'n tha entire history of Earth C. The bucket taboo be largely emblematic at dis point. Death row 187 4 life. An emptizzle signifia fo` an endangizzle culture yeah yeah baby.
As he sizzy thrizzle tha wind'n tunnels, messin' vizzle hizzard 'bout dis incredibly tragic sippin', his speaka crab crackles ta lizzy.
KANAYA: Wizzy
KANAYA: Thizzle Was A Lot
KARKAT: OH SHIT.
KARKIZZLE: I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU WERE S-T-TO-THA-IZZILL ON THA LINE.
KANAYA: We Hizzle Finished Our Conversation 'bout Tha Clandestine Transportation Of Tha Motha Gruab
KANAYA: Whizzle I Hope You Realize Be Still An Operizzle Of Grizzave Impizzle At Least On Par Wit Tha Terrible T-H-R-to-tha-izzeat Of Tha Leak 'n Your Office
KARKIZZLE: SORRY. I KIND OF HAVE A LOT GO'N ON RIGHT NOW.
KIZZLE: I Cizzy See That
KANAYA: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. Pleaze Do Not Be So Hard On Swifa She Really Does Try Homeboi Bizzay
KARKAT on my side, YEAH. I KNOW.
KARKAT: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. TA BE HONEST THAT WASN’T 'BOUT AT ALL. OR EVEN 'BOUT THA LEAK.
KANAYA: Yes Karkizzle Thizzat Was Obvious
KANIZZLE: Roze N I Hizzy Bizzeen Follow'n Tha Dance Off Tribunals very Closizzle Dis Month
KIZZLE: Yo' Lieutizzle Does Not Hiznave A Chance
KANAYA: But Do Not Lizzy It Weigh Heavily On You
KANAYA: Everyone Wizzy Joins Tha Rebizzle Kizzy That Bein Exiled Ta Tha Cizzay Mills Be A Verizzle Rizneal Possibility If T-H-to-tha-izzey Be Caught
KANAYA: T-H-to-tha-izzat Includes You Karkat
KANAYA fo yo bitch ass: If Yizzou Bizzy Tha Responsibility Fo` Tha Lives Of Every Homeboi Of Tha Rebellion Youll Crack Unda Tha Stress
KANAYA fo my bling bling: N As Much As Yizzay Be Loath Ta Admizzle It
KANAYA: Yizzay Be Tha Face Of Dis Movement
KIZZLE droppin hits: YEAH.
KARKAT: I HATE IT, BIZZAY YOU’RE RIGHT.
KARKIZZLE where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': FIZNUCK YOU, YOU’RE ALWAYS RIGHT.
KANAYA: As Mah Wizzy Likizzles Ta Tell Me Often
KARKAT: UGH. FIZZY HER, S-H-TO-THA-IZZE’S ALWIZZLE RIZZAY TOO.
KIZZLE: HOW THA HELL D-YA TIZZY TOLERATE EACH OTHA?
KANAYA: Quite Thoroughly Enthusiastically N Oftizzle
KARKAT: WOW. UGH. OK.
KARKAT: THIZZAT’S ENOUGH OF YOU FO` TODAY.
KANAYA: Oh I Be Sorry I Did Not Mean Ta Rizzle Mah Interspizzles Happiness 'n Yo' Face I Understand Thizzle Its A Sore Subject
KARKIZZLE: THA ONLY TH'N THIZZAY SIZZY BE MAH EAVESDROP FUNNELS FROM MOBBIN' TA YO' ENDLESS MOTHERING.
KANAYA: Kizzle I Be Sure That If Yizzay Wiznere Ta Just
KARKIZZLE from tha streets of tha L-B-C: D-TO-THA-IZZON’T
KANAYA: Call Dave N Ask Him Ta Join Yizzay...
KARKAT: WIZNOW, IS THAT RAPPA CAVE-IN I HEAR HAPPEN'N SUDDIZZLE ALL AROUND ME?
KANAYA in all flavas: He Would Be At Yo' Sizzide Instantlizzle
KARKAT: KIZZLE WE’RE BEIN OVERRIZZLE BY IMPERIAL DRONES! IT’S HORRIBLE cuz its a thang! THIZZLE DEATH N FIRE EVIZZLE, N ALSO I CIZNAN’T H-TO-THA-IZZEAR A FUCK'N WORD YOU’RE SAY'N, SO IF YOU WERE TO TA ATTEMPT TA REFERENCE THIZZIS CONVERSIZZLE 'N THA FUTURE I WOULD HIZNAVE NO IDEA W-H-TO-THA-IZZAT YIZZY WERE TALK'N 'BOUT
KARKAT so bow down to the bow wow! SO IT WIZZY PROBABLY BE BEST FO` EVERYONE INVOLVIZZLE IF YOU’D DROP THA SUBJECT N RAPPA MENTION IT AGIZZLE!
KIZZLE: Okizzle Karkat Hiznave A Good Wizzy Ill Rap To You 'bout Tha Motha Grub Tomorrow
KANAYA, betta check yo self: Gizzay N Takes Care
KARKAT: OH. YEAH. YIZZOU TAKES CARE TOO. RAP TA YIZNOU TOMORROW.
Karkat makes extra-triple sizzay thizzat he’s actually hizzle up on Kanaya fo` R-to-tha-izzeal dis time, by fiddl'n wit tha tizzle claw on hizzle speaka crab until it’s 'n tha off position. Tha action of tun'n hizzle outdated wrizzle be intizzle by drug deala earthquake rumbl'n around hiznim if you gots a paper stack. Dis one sounds different, poser. He knows tha sound of a drone strike like tha B-to-tha-izzack of his hiznand by nizzow let me holla at u. It’s a low, creep'n bellow that pulses through tha griznound 'n waves. Subscribe, get yo issue. Dis sounds miznore lizzle an impizzle that left a crater. Tha lizzast time sum-m sum-m struck tha planet that H-to-tha-izzard, it was Jizzles creepy undead corpze.
Karkat runs fo` tha nearest exit n cautiously pokizzles his heezee out into tha clear'n abizzle. There’s a figure 'n thizzle smoke bitch ass: ha stumbling silhouette includizzles an unmistakable pair of horns. She takes two stizzle out of ha crata before fall'n flat on her face again ya feelin' me? Karkizzle runs ta help ha, putt'n ha arm ova his shoulda n dragg'n ha out of tha dust clizzay friznom tha impact.
KARKAT: MEENAH??
KARKAT: WHIZZAY THIZZE FUCK BE YIZZY MESSIN' HIZZERE?
Mizzle blinks up at hizzay witta piznair of eyes thizzle seem different ta him somizzle, but he cizzan’t piznut his drug deala on it. He has ta admizzle, it’s been a long tizzay since he saw baller. She seems singe', woozy, but mostly undamage' cuz this is how we do it.
MEENAH: woah shoutizzle mcnubs that yizzay
KARKAT with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: UH, THAT’S SIZZY NOT MAH NAME. BIZZLE YEAH.
MEENAH: funky ass
KARKAT: WHATEVA HAPPENED TA LORD ENGLISH? Aint no stoppin' this shit.
KARKAT: DIZZAY THAT WIZNORK OUT OR... WHIZZAY?
MIZZLE: niznah it was a total wizzay
KARKAT: OH.
Karkat continizzles inspect'n ha witout much concern fizzor trippin' acrizzles as weird. He knizzows sum-m sum-m’s off abizzle ha, he just cizzan’t figure out what. Then a reflective gleam catches hizzay eye. A gizzay R-to-tha-izzing on ha finga. He glances back up ta lizzle 'n ha eyes. They aren’t bizzy, like all tha other fallen ghizzosts’ eyizzles be.
KARKAT: WAIT A MINUTE.
KARKAT: Bounce wit me. BE YOU...
KARKAT: Listen to how a fucker flow shit. ALIVE? Wussup in the house.??
MEENAH cuz Im tha Double O G: yizzy biznitch
MEENAH: im bizzle 38)
KARKAT: WHIZZAY THA FUCK DIZNID YIZZY GIT T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT R'N because doggs make tha world a better place!
KIZZLE: WAIT, YOU DIDN’T...
KARKAT mah: MIZZLE, DIZZY YOU ROB CALLIZZLE?!
MEENAH: who
KARKAT: THA GIRL WIT THA HIDEOUS GIZZY SKULL FO` A HEEZEE.
KARKAT: THAT WIZZAS BROTHA RING. I WAS HUSTLA THA IMPRESSION SIZZY NEEDED T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT TA LIZZAY!
MEENAH: oh
MEENAH: nizzah dawg
MEENAH: its not ha i gots it friznom siznome killa total sucka
KARKAT: WHIZZO???
MEENAH: dizzy crazy ass
MEENAH keep'n it real yo: complete boneheezee chump you aint be hearin from again
KARKAT: Holla! MEENAH, ARE YOU FUCK'N LY'N TA ME.
MEENAH: nizzay i wouldnt do thiznat ta you
MEENAH: One, two three and to tha four. not afta all dis tizzy
MEENIZZLE: Aint no stoppin' this shit. ya gizzy fizzle dis shiznits mah own damn r'n
MEENAH: capisces? Death row 187 4 life.
Karkat side-eyes tha revived hizzles, clockin' only slightly at that liznast pun, before chillin' a reluctant nod bitch ass.
MEENAH: what be yiznou up ta?
KARKAT: WELL...
KARKAT so jus' chill: T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT’S LIKE, A WHOLE FUCK'N EXPLANATION.
MIZZLE: splizzain awave nubby
KARKIZZLE: I’M S-TO-THA-IZZORT OF 'N THA MIZZY OF FRONTIN' A WIDE SCALE GRASSROOTS REBELLION AGAINST AN INCREASINGLY AUTHORITARIAN GLOBAL HEGEMONY T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT BE OPPRESS'N OUR THUGZ.
MEENIZZLE so i can get on: hmm
Mizzle leans in, assess'n Karkat witta rapacious, shark-toothizzle grin. It sizzay that calla she’s see'n 'n dis olda, battle-hardened versizzle of Karkat impreszes ha. She starts laugh'n, big n bright hittin that booty. She slaps hizzle so hard on tha shoulda thizzay he nearly falls down. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house.
KARKAT: ACK.
MEENAH: now T-H-to-tha-izzats what im TALKIN 'bout
MIZZLE: yizzy i ciznould uze a niznew seacond 'n command
KARKAT: ACTUALLIZZLE, YOU’D BE *MAH* SIZZLE 'N COMMAND.
KARKIZZLE: NO OFFENZE OR NOTHIN' TRIPPIN', BUT MAH FACE IS ALREADY ON ALL THA POSTERS.
KARKAT: ALSO I DON’T EXACTLY HAVE THA MOST CONFIDENCE 'N YO' COMMAND ABILIZZLE SIPPIN' THA LAST TIME I SAW YOU, YOU WERE TALK'N BIG 'BOUT HOW YOU WERE BALLIN' TO TAKES DOWN LIZNORD ENGLISH, AND NOW YOU’RE EAT'N DIRT ON OUR SHITTY NEW PLIZZLE BANGIN' P-R-E-DOUBLE-TIZZY TRIPPIN' DEFEATED.
KARKAT: BUT TA BE HONEST, I NEE' ALL THA HIZZELP I CAN GIT.
MEENAH: oh yea no problem
MEENAH: ill be yizzay fuckin second homey
KIZZLE: YIZZY WILL?
MEENIZZLE: flizzay yes
KARKAT: WOW
MEENAH: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. yeah dude just pizzay me at wizzy tha actions at i dizzle even give a fizzay
MEENAH: wata tha orda bizzoss
KARKAT: OK DIS BE LIKE
KARKAT: I’M NOT EVEN SIZZY HIZZLE TA SAY DIS?
KIZZLE: I’M ACTUALLIZZLE REALLY FLATTERIZZLE, N KIND OF SINCERELY HONORED T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT YOU OF ALL THUGZ W-TO-THA-IZZANT TA FIZZLE ME? Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint.
KARKAT: Chill as I take you on a trip. IT’S L-TO-THA-IZZIKE, COMPLETIZZLE NIZZOT AT ALL WHIZZAT I...
MEENAH: yizzy ruin'n it dizzay
KARKAT: OH
KIZZLE: FUCK. SORRY.
KARKAT: I MEAN...
KARKAT from tha streets of tha L-B-C: HEY!
KARKIZZLE droppin hits: FISH ASSHOLE!
MEENAH: whizno me
KARKAT: YES TRIPPIN' YOU. THA FALLEN FASCIZZLE DIPSHIT WIT THA STOLEN RING.
KIZZLE: GIT THA *FIZNUCK* 'N LIZZY, BEFORE I *PUT* YIZNOU 'N LINE if you gots a paper stack!
MEENAH: oh
MEENAH: oh wow
MEENAH: Y-ES
MEENIZZLE: Y---ES SIR!!! 38D
Karkat rizzles out n takes ha hand and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. Sizzy has a very F-to-tha-izzirm handshake. So firm that Karkat winces an eye shut when shizze squeizzles n hopes that shizzle dizzoesn’t notice how M-to-tha-izzuch hizzy smile has turned into a grimace.
Above thizzay, tha skizny tears open again, n again. A new wave of ghosts piznours 'n fizzy Meenah’s dizzle assault.
MEENAH: well here comizzles tha caviarlry
KARKAT: Smells like tha good shit. THA WHAT?
MEENAH: Death row 187 4 life. tha cavia—
KARKAT: I’M ALSO FUCK'N STRAIGHT TRIPPIN' YIZZAY TA STOP STEPPIN' GIZZLE FISH PUNS FOREVER.
> ==>
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fruitycowboy · 2 years
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ohmygoddfhggh
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youllneverknowrac · 4 years
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Oscar Diaz-Toxic
Hey guys maybe this will have another part? I’m not sure yet, anyways I hope you all enjoy!
One again I have to thank @spookysmujer for helping me with this idea. She’s a real one. Y’all go check her stuff out. She’s amazing!
~
“Girl fuck that, he knew we were going out tonight. Don’t let Oscar kill your vibe bitch, you’re allowed to have fun every once in a while,”Your best friend Naomi says into your ear as she sits next to you in the booth, your other two friends sitting on the opposite side.
“Yeah Y/N, it’s my birthday. We have to turn up. Besides it’s not like we’re chilling with guys, so he has no reason to trip.” Dina adds with a sigh as she reaches for a chip and dips it into the thick queso that sat in the middle of the table.
“What’s he saying anyways?” Jess questions as she leans forward to listen.
“He said,*Man you know I don’t like when you go out with out me,*”Followed by,*Just come home. I’m not playing, I don’t want you out with your hoe ass friends,* You admit with a groan,”Now he’s asking why am I not replying.”
“Man fuck that, you don’t dog on him when he’s with his own hoe ass friends.” Naomi says after taking a sip of her frozen margarita,”Tell him to chill out. We’re literally just grabbing dinner and then going to a hookah lounge. Maybe a bar. You’ll be home before the sun is even up.”
“You’re right, why do I have to feel guilty for having friends? He’s with his homies almost everyday so why can’t I just have one night to myself.” You say as you read three more messages that he wrote in question of you not answering him,*I’ll be home in a little bit. Quit blowing my line up. I’m with the girls, and that’s it. Stop being crazy.*You type and send with no second thought.
*Who you calling crazy? You better be home after your little dinner. I ain’t gonna wait up all night for you.*
*Then don’t. I have a key.* You text back, Oscar moving you into his crib about two months ago.
‘Nah ima bolt that shit shut and why ain’t yo friends answering me? You really with them or what?’
‘I told them not to answer you psycho. Quit texting them. I will be home in a little bit. BYE.’ You send, Oscar calling two seconds later as you hit decline.
‘Whatever guy your with, I hope he shoots back.’ He sends, causing you to internally scream as you ignore it and toss your phone into your bag.
“I need another mojito.” You mumble as you hold your hand out to get the waiters attention since she was pretty far.
“He will get over it.”
“Yeah, just suck his dick or something when you get home.”
“No don’t reward him for being obsessive.”
You take in all the advice from your friends, letting everything sink in before shaking your head,” I don’t even want to talk about him right now. Can we please just get tipsy so we can head over to the bar and get completely wasted? How does that sound?”
“Hell yeah.” Naomi smiles, picking up her drink and gulping it down in one go.
~
The Uber driver drops you off after your ‘wild night’. Your friends having been dropped off along the shared ride, all of you completely wasted at this point.
“Thank you sir.” You slur as you grab your purse and search for the door handle in the up coming morning light. The sun wasn’t all the way up yet, so you weren’t technically out all night. Let’s just hope your boyfriend sees it like that. You ignored Oscar all night and when you finally checked your phone in the car you had 26 missed calls and 73 messages from him. You stumble up the driveway and go to the front door, grabbing your key from your bag and trying your best to quietly unlock the door,”Shit.” You mutter as you drop your keys on to the floor, you kick off your heels before picking them up and hanging them on the hook,”Oscar!?” You whisper shout just in case, sighing in relief when you don’t get a response. You pad down the hallway and into the shared bedroom to find him asleep in the bed, a few empty bottles of beer on the night stand along with burnt out roaches in the ashtray. You sneak past him and head into the bathroom, pulling off your tight fitted dress and leaving it on the floor as you step out of it. You quickly wipe your face clean, no make up left behind after you start the shower so the water could warm up. You step in after while and let the hot water run over you, not even realizing that Oscar walked in until the shower curtain in being pulled back minutes later,”Um can I help you? You’re getting water everywhere.” You say startled as you yank the curtain back shut.
“Why you showering? Washing off that other foo?” You hear him say as he leans back against the counter with crossed arms.
“Seriously? Do you really think I’d cheat on you?” You ask as you focus on your wash routine.
“I don’t know, you tell me. You ignore me all night, and don’t come home until 6am. Then when you get here, you hop in the shower. How else am I suppose to take it?”
“Take it by believing me. I told you what I was doing. I have no reason to lie Oscar. I was with my friends the whole night.”
“Nah, I don’t believe that. You’re for the streets, you just proved that to me.”
“I’m for the streets? Just cause I went out one time?” You ask as you work on scrubbing your body,”You literally work the streets, you sale on the streets, these are your fucking streets. Don’t you think you’d have proof if I was out here being unfaithful? That someone would tell you something?”
“Not if you being sly with it. What’s his name then? Who I gotta fight?”
“Yourself, cause you’re the only guy I’ve been with.” You say with a clap of your hands,”Can you get out? I’m not in the mood to argue with you right now.”
“Who’s arguing? I’m just trying to have a discussion on why my girl thinks it’s okay to stay out all night.”
“Oh my god!” You squeal as you shut the water off and open the curtain once more, snatching the towel from Oscar’s outstretched hand with out a thank you,”I’m grown, I can go out if I want to.” You inform him like it’s the most obvious thing,”Quit being so toxic. I can’t even shower in peace because you are so paranoid.”
“Toxic? You females learn one word on the internet and over use it.” He laughs dryly, moving aside as you step out onto the mat,”It ain’t toxic to worry about my women. A women that I love.”
“Worrying about me isn’t, but it is to accuse me of cheating on you. And then have the nerve to come in here and try to ‘talk things’ out when your only intent is to annoy and argue with me.”
“Aver, let me see your neck. Let me see if you letting another vato mark you up.” Oscar says, his statement proving your entire point as he ignores your words.
“Nah, I ain’t dumb. I do all the marking.” You smile sweetly at him as you tighten the towel around your body before spinning around and heading to the closet. If Oscar wanted a fight he definitely has one now.
“What did you just say?” He barks
“I said I do all the marking. I can’t come home with that shit all over my neck, what would I look like.”
“See I knew you were fucking with some one else. Who is it? Yo ex? I’ll fuck him up over you. Don’t play with me.”
“Think what you want.” You shrug as you slip on a pair of underwear,”It seems like you have a bunch of assumptions about me anyway.”
“You didn’t answer me all night! What the fuck else am I going to think!” He bellows again as he watches you pull on one of his shirts to sleep in.
“THINK what you want. I do not care any more. The only thing I currently care about is going to bed. You can either stand here and argue with yourself or you can join me and go back to bed because I know you’re tired.” You sigh as you climb on to the middle of the mattress and snuggle under the blanket, turning your back to him.
“I’ll drop it if you promise you ain’t going back out with them.” He says seriously moments later,”Joker told me all about them and how they get around.” He explains as his voice grows remorseful. Just like it always did when he picked a fight and then apologized minutes later.
“Okay Oscar.” You yawn as you let your eyes close deciding to just agree with whatever he says so you can get to sleep,”I won’t hang out with them again.” You lie, having already made plans for next weekend with them.
“I mean it.”
“So do I.” You say as you feel him climb in behind you.
“I don’t mean to trip mami. I just got jealousy issues...how could I not when I have you as my girl.” He whispers into your ear after while as he pulls you to his chest,”I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything. I know you’d never cheat on me.”
“It’s fine Oscar, can we please just go to sleep? I’m really tired.” You say as you open your eyes and look out the window. Trying to remember a time when things were calmer with you and Oscar. Now it seems like all you guys do is fight, make up, and have sex,”Hm? Yeah, I love you too.” You reply as you hear him mumble it into your ear, your eyes watering as you blink back the tears all while telling yourself that it’ll get better. That it has to get better because you were exhausted at this point and you didn’t know how much longer you could hold on to this relationship.
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Heartbreak, Jailbreak - Narciso Anasui ( Non Pucci AU)
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Life in prison isn't particularly the most beautiful thing to encounter, especially if you've been framed, and unfortunately, I had to learn that the hard way. 
To be fair, I don't even think one could call it "framed", since it's mostly police negligence and ignorance. They just wanted to get rid of me and this burden of a murder case faster. 
But honestly, how could a 17 year old kill her family and completely destroy her seemingly perfect life? 
For me, the police's logic is a complete mystery... But that's exactly how I was sentenced to 40 years in prison. 
They thought that I, a prodigy student, ready to take the Medicine University entrance exam, threw it all in the garbage and gruesomely killed my parents and dog, only to then go on my merry date with my then-boyfriend, that was in reality, nothing more than a scumbag.
Well, it's not like I could really do something else, and I pleaded for having a split personality, so for the past 5 years, I've been pretending to be a very dumb, soft and innocent little girl that would never hurt a fly, which made it easy for me to gain the favour and pity of most of the guards around for being a harmless angel. 
Haha, if only they knew. 
 At least I was allowed to read and study at my leisure, I was later given my own cell, shared with nobody else, I could perform piano and violin recitals during certin occasions or events and many other favours. 
Prison life was incredibly boring, especially since all women around were incredibly aggressive and hostile, or just plain dull and uneducated and you couldn't really coverse with them. 
Well, that all changed now, present time, when I met the 2 new girls, Jolyne and Hermes. Let me tell you, these girls were absolutely amazing and you could always have great conversations with them, especially with JoJo. And to think that I met her when I bribed the hairstylist not to cut their hair, and further on, when I'd give them money for random stuff they'd want to get.
Over the time, I realised that the girls also somehow managed to get Stands, but unlike mine, with which I was born, they got theirs through some way or another. And thus, began our random battle with evil as Jolyne had to fight the men who wanted her dead and framed her, mainly her boyfriend, while Hermes was there to kill the man who killed her elder sister. 
We were there for each other, emotionally, morally and physically at all times. The weirdest things happening were, however, this little kid who could use some kind of ghost ability, and inside this ghost music room, a silver haired man was leaning on the piano - They said his name was Weather Report and that his Stand is named the same way. 
Weird, but who am I to judge. 
Emporio, the little kid, mentioned that sometimes another man would join them, but he was much less sociable and was always in a grumpy mood.
And so, here we are, present day- A beautiful day of Spring in the Dolphin whatever Prison, where the men and women were allowed to spend a few hours in the courtyard to get some fresh air...Or something. 
I can only guess the guards were in a good mood or something, who really knows? 
I took my sweet time getting to the courtyard as I was reading while walking, already knowing the path there, my feet dragging me there automatically, and when I looked up from the book, I saw Jolyne, Foo Fighters and Hermes playing catch...I think? 
I greeted them with a soft smile, making my way to the bench, my long pastel pink dress swaying gently on the Spring breeze as flower petals were dancing around gently. 
Everything was perfect, everyone was smiling and laughing- But that all changed when some girl got in front of me and snatched away my book, looked at the cover, then scrunched her nose in disgust.
"Eww, you read this shit? No wonder you're the guards's pet. And to think they all say you are actually a cold-blooded murderer or something, how lame!" she scoffed, walking away with my book. "Please give me back my book. If you want to borrow it, let me finish it first." I spoke in a soft and sort of aloof voice as I stood up, looking after her. "Why the hell would I wanna read some boring bullshit- No, actually, why are you talking back to your superiors?!" she sneered, seeing me walking towards her casually. "Y/Nick, do you want me to get rid of that bitch?" Hermes looked at the girl in disgust. "No, thank you, dear. Let's not resume to violence on such a beautiful day, it would be quite a shame." I smiled mockingly at the enemy, only to have her get in my face, screeching at me. "Shame? Like what your parents felt heaving you as your daughter? Oh, wait, I forgot! They're dead! You killed them!! Hahaha, how vile of you, Miss perfect!" she laughed tauntingly, which only made me bite my lip to stop myself from snapping and twisting her neck in a fit of rage. "Give me my book back, please." I repeated in a lower, more threatening voice, making her gasp and hitting my face with my own book. "WHO DA HELL D'YA THINK Y'RE, Y'WHORE?! You think you're so fuckin' perfect 'cause everyone loves ya or somethin'?! Well, how 'bout I steal all yo' money, ehhhh?!" she shrieked, but the only thing that made me afraid was getting some spit from her on my face. "Your loss." I sighed, rubbing my cheek, taking out my Stand and pulling her hair on fire. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO, BITCH?!PUT IT OFF! PUT IT OFF!!!" she took out a small revolver from her pants, aiming it at me, but I quickly dodged it, and proceeded in engulfing her on fire and getting my book back. 
What I wasn't expecting, however, was to heard a grunt, followed by a thud and some gasps, and upon snapping my head back, I realised a pink haired man was on the ground, and the girls were gathered around him. My jaw dropped in dread realising that because of me, that man was shot, and I rushed to his side, pulling the girls away as I brushed the hair from his face.
"I'm so sorry, mister...Because of me, you got shot. Let me heal you, please." I spoke in a softer voice, taking out my Stand and using her healing water to successfully extract the bullet, then healing the wound. "Are...You an angel...?" he murmured weakly. "No, but my Stand is. Her name is Lilium and she's pleased to meet you...Although she'd prefer to have met you under less...Fatal situations." I offered him a tender smile, as Lilium's wings spread a bit more. "Y/Nick, I don't think you've met him. He is Anasui, the other guy who's around Weather in the ghost room." Jolyne patted my head, introducing us. "Oh, so you're the mysterious man I was supposed to meet! It's really nice to meet you! My name is Y/N L/N, but my friends call me Y/Nickname or other variations, so feel free to be creative." I got up, dusting my dress before offering him my hand to helping him get up. "I'm really sorry about the whole ordeal, I just hope it doesn't hurt too much anymore." I gave him an apologetic smile as he towered over me, looking down at me. "It's fine. Narciso Anasui, call me whatever you like. And uh...Thanks for the fix. You have a nice Stand." he looked at me somewhat awkwardly, unsure of how to react.  "Thank you, Narci! You have beautiful hair! It looks great with Spring. If I had a camera, I'd have loved to take pictures of you in nature." I hummed in amusement as the girls started laughing at the thought. "That's the funniest shit I've heard in a while, I swear-" Hermes booming laugh echoed around the place, annoying Annasui greatly. "I don't get it, why is this little mouse around anyway? You can't tell me she actually did something bad. Why did she get put here? Didn’t smile for a minute?" he crossed his arms, looking at us with a raised eyebrow, almost as if he were interrogating us, but instead of an answer, a deafening silence fell. "Uhm...Anasui..." Jolyne tried to mutter, but instead, I raised my face up to him, smiling with a fake innocence that dripped with a paralysing poison, making him feel that the whole place was thrown into the Ice Age all of a sudden. "I massacred my family." was all I said before walking past him, my hands behind my back, gripping my slightly burnt book, letting my long crimson hair fly behind me.
So much for first impressions. 
---
For the following days, I stood by Jolyne’s and Hermes’ side for the majority of time, and so, I was able to understand most of what happened to them and why they are here, and more, the fact that Jolyne’s dad was going to come over and try to get her out of jail, only for her to try to get all of us out, since his influence is just that great.
What I had to do was to assist their private meeting by knocking out the unsuspecting guard that was supposed to be in the same room and negotiate, but also, tell the older man about the Stand Users and leaders of the prison...
After all, being a “Pet” in this place is rather beneficial.
The meeting went smoothly, so Hermes, FF and Jolyne were preparing their strategies, while I hurried in the Ghost Room to tell Emporio and the other the plan.
“Great, everyone’s here. So, uhm...We have a plan. To escape, I mean. And...It’s going to work. But we need everyone’s help. It won’t be easy, but if we get out of here, Jolyne’s dad promised to get us new identities and places to stay, and a chance to live a normal life from now on. So, uhm...What do you say?” I look at the 3 of them, whose eyes seemed to burn holes in my skin. “Sure.” Weather nodded nonchalantly. “Can we really get out of here? And I won’t have to go to an orphanage?” Emporio looked up at me with hopeful eyes. “Uhm...As far as I know, Jolyne mentioned something about making you her little brother or something, if you’d want that too, of course. You’re a kid, you shouldn’t have to worry about things like these. You’re going to have a normal childhood from now on. You deserve it.” I smiled warmly at him, patting his head. “That’s amazing! I can’t wait!” he hugged me tightly with his little arms. “...Narci...? What about you? You’ve been quiet all this time...Is it because I snapped at you back then? If so, then I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” I spoke in a softer voice, hoping he would answer back. “I’m not coming.” he scoffed, going to the bookshelf, taking out a book, in a way to show that he’s not interested in talking. “Wh-What?! Why?! Don’t you want to get out of this place?! You already have like...15? 20? Years in this place. You’ll get out of here at 40-50 years old, and that’s basically your whole life being lost doing nothing! Don’t you want a second chance to live and learn to be happy again?” I approached him, looking at him with a sad pout. “Don’t give me that look. You only know me from the others. I’m a bad person, why’d you care what happens to me? After all, unlike you, little liar, I am an actual murderer.” he didn’t even raise his gaze from the book to look at me. “...Because in the little time we spent together, I could feel you weren’t a bad person. You are just extremely emotionally hurt and you try to hide behind your cold wall...And...You’re the only person who was sure from the get-go that I’m not a murderer. So...You’re not as bad as you say you are...Murderer or not. I’m sure you had your reasons.” I tried to reason, as he snapped his look at me, his eyes sparkling with confusion and a myriad of mixed emotions, until he threw away the book and slammed me on the bookcase, putting his hands on both sides of my head, towering over me. “I know purity when I see it. You’re the embodiment of innocence and purity, just like your Stand. But your kindness isn’t just that, it’s an act. What are you trying to pull here? And why do you cling so much on Jolyne?” he talked in a low, threatening voice, almost as if he was a wolf ready to tear at my throat. “I can’t tell what you see so nice and kind in me...I really don’t...But even so, I...I want to help Jolyne. She is like me, but she still has a family out there that loves and waits for her. They miss her, and she misses them...But me? I have no one. I, like her, got framed for such horrible crimes...But there’s nobody to support me. Even if I get out of here, I’ll still be alone...But frankly, I was beginning to lose my mind doing the same things over and over again and pretending to be a dumb idiot with some kind of psychotic split personality.” I tried to say, as my breath was taken away from the sudden closeness, blushing at the embarrassment and the anxiety I felt, as I wasn’t used to people being in my personal bubble. “Hmmm....Fine. I’ll help, but on one condition. If you agree, then you can do what you want with me and my power. What do you say? I could be asking anything...Are you really going to do anything to make sure Jolyne gets out of here? That all of us get out of here and have that stupid happy end you see in those Disney movies?” he was so dangerously close to me that I could feel his breath, as his long hot pink hair was brushing against my cheeks. “...What is your condition, Narci?” I bit my lip, trying to stay composed and breath again. “Marry me when we get out of here.” he smirked, making both myself and the kid gasp in shock. “H-Hey, Anasui, you’ll really help?!” Emporio looked at him with his jaw hanging wide open, but all I could do was stare at the magenta-eyed man, as my head was swimming with a hundred thousand of thoughts. “...M-Marry...M-Me...?! Wh-Why would you...?! Me?! O-Of all people?...I-I-I thought you liked Jolyne, she’s much better than me...A-And...I-I j-just...Me?! Why’d anyone want to date me, let alone marry me?...Are you making fun of me, Narciso Anasui, because if you are, it’s not nice messing like that with people’s hearts!” I tried to yell at him, but no matter how I tried to make my voice firm, it was trembling, making it obvious that I was trying my hardest not to cry. “If I wanted to mess with you, I’d have told you to let me fuck you. Yes, Y/N, I know, I look like a very harsh and cold man...I am a murderer, after all...But your conviction to help us get out, your gold heart...They touched me. But I’ll be very clear, I won’t help Jolyne to get us out of here, I’ll help you get a better life. I’m doing this for you, not for anyone else.” he explained strictly, as I could only clutch my shirt where my heart was, trying to regain my composure. “Can you also promise me something...” I whispered, putting my other hand on his neck, to get closer to him. “What is it?” he asked, skeptically. “...Promise me...You won’t play with my feelings...And break my heart...? I don’t think I can handle it again...I don’t know what I’ll do if...” I whispered in his ear, not able to finish my sentence, as he wrapped his arms around me, kissing the top of my head. “I killed my girlfriend for cheating on me and breaking my heart...I couldn’t possibly put you through what I’ve been through.” he muttered back, burying his face in my hair. “Thank you...” was my last, very broken whisper, as I hurried out of there to tell Jolyne that we have full support from everyone.
---
For the rest of the week, the rest of us would meet up outside, in the courtyard, discussing what each of us has to do, all while Anasui kept me by his side or in his gaze range at all times, looking after me like a hawk, his excuse being that he didn’t want me to get hurt or something.
Getting this much attention was sure...Weird.
But as long as we get out of here...
And the worst thing was that...
His embraces were so fucking warm that I lost myself in them.
Because Anasui’s Stand was the strongest, while mine was the most versatile and could heal, it was decided that we would be the ones on the watchout and make sure everyone got out safely before us, which meant that we were in the most trouble...But as he assured me, he would protect me with his life...So, okay?
The big day came by sooner than expected, and the first to go were Jolyne and Hermes, to scout ahead and make sure no harm comes to Emporio, who’d be guarded by Foo and Weather, and then us, in the back, guarding the rear.
As I told them, the master of this prison, who was a Stand User, was going to come after us without a doubt, but what nobody was aware of was the Stand’s power, so we have to be constantly on alert, otherwise...Who knows what would happen.
“Narci...?” I asked in a hushed voice, afraid to attract attention to our hiding spot. “What is it?”  he grunted slightly. “What’s the first thing you want to do when you get out of here?” I looked at him timidly. “Dunno...I think I’ll kiss you.” he spoke to nonchalantly that it sent shivers down my spine. “Y-You can do that here too. I mean, like...When you’re free.” I pressed on, hoping to hear something more humane. “Then, I’ll get a job, get paid, and take you out on a proper date.” he smirked softly, watching my face turn red. “...You shouldn’t be so obsessed with me. You should think of yourself too. I-I really don’t get why you think I’m so great anyway. I mean, I got pity-dated before. A-And I got trophy-dated. And someone lied and covered his obsessive carnal needs under the pretext of loving me. So, uhm...I dunno...But if 3 people decided I’m that of a girlfriend...Maybe there must be some truth behind it. You should settle for someone like me.” I looked away from, feeling my heart ache like never before. “And you’re telling me that I deserved getting cheated on?” he asked in a mocking tone, making me jolt in my place and retort rather vehemently. “No, of course not! Nobody deserves something as cruel as that! Especially not you!” I refuted his statement, which only made him chuckle. “Then why would an angel like you deserve any less? Honestly, you got those fuckers get to your head and you lost all sense of self-worth. You see...I have this...Thing. For showing people important to me that they are special. And there you have your answer.” he stroked my hair gently, making me calm down a bit.
We stood in that comforting silence for a little longer, until we decided that we waited long enough, and we should move out... However, that was the perfect opportunity to get attacked by the enemy Stand User, as it got me by the throat, as I could only dangle my legs in mid air, trying to gasp for air, before darkness took over me and I felt myself hitting the ground.
---
When I woke up, however, I found myself in some kind of abandoned warehouse, where I hugged my knees tightly to myself, looking around, trying to see everything around that was illuminated by the dim, flickering lights.
I was alone.
And I was much too scared to move from the corner in which I was huddled in.
What was I supposed to do...?  I’m all alone. And I’m scared. Is this the work of an Enemy Stand User? Is this the work of the master of the Prison? Either way, I have no idea what to do.
This is the definition of “I’m screwed”.
As I tried to stop myself from crying, the door opened, and in front of me, with a huge, sadistic smirk, stood one my my exes, the one who still terrorizes my nightmares and who still keeps all my insecurities ablaze.
Wait, no...I’m wrong...
It’s not just one person...It’s all 3 of them, mashed together.
This can’t be...This is not normal, even for Stand powers...So what the hell...?
Wait...Did I just say...Nightmare?
Could this be a Nightmare? Could the Enemy Stand’s power be based on people’s worst fears?
Does that mean that Narciso is also witnessing and trying to fight his fears?
Oh goodness, if that’s true...I have to get out of here and help him...
I have to...I must...But why can’t I move my legs...? And why am I shaking like this? Is this also the work of the Stand?
Oh, no, silly me, this feeling is all too familiar to me...It’s fear. It’s helplessness.
I already know what’s gonna happen to me is inevitable...It already happened so many times times before...
He would pin me down, I would protest and try to fight back, and yet....
I didn’t realise how hard I was spiraling, until I heard a familiar voice, screaming out in despair...Almost like a wail...
That voice...It was Narciso.
I didn’t realise when I bolted to my feet, my Stand setting the monstrosity of my combined exes on fire, for the Divine Retribution, and I ran through the door, trying to follow his voice, only to find him on the ground, bloody, a version of myself and another woman, dressed both in skimpy clothes, standing over him with knives in their hands, wearing the same kind of sadistic grins as the horror in the other room.
The fire of rage ignited so hard in my heart that I set them both on fire, not even caring about my mirror image, and wrestling the knife out of their hands, I started stabbing them...
I was being blinded by anger...I never felt something like this in my life...It was absolutely terrifying...
But I had to save Narciso...And without him awake and safe, neither of us could get out of here.
I used my Stand’s Divine Redemption to start healing him up, but I couldn’t focus too much on that, as from the room in front of me, huge zombie-like abominations carrying chainsaws seemed to blindly approach our room.
I cursed myself for playing too much The Evil Within and Resident Evil, and I started dragging the semi-conscious man out of that room, using the 3rd door, only to find myself in a large room that had 2 ropes hanging from the wooden, most likely rotten beams above.
The only thing I could do was climb on the first rope while Lilium used the bottom part of it to make a swing-like knot, so I could sit, while I would use my arms to coil around the rope and drag myself up, along with Anasui on my lap, as closer to the top as possible, to avoid getting attacked, while Lilium would fight them, as much as she could, despite not being a powerful attack type, and my mental strength wavering from all the physical strength I was overusing.
“Narci...Narci, dear, please wake up...I don’t know how long I can keep this up...My arms are hurting so much...The rope is digging into my arms, making me bleed...And you’re so heavy...” I pleaded for him to wake up, seeing as one of the zombies got directly under us and used the chainsaw to cut at my thighs, making me scream in agony and force myself to climb further and further.
Lilium couldn’t take it...I couldn’t take it either...I was feeling my body beginning to lose all its strength...I was going to fall...
“Fuck...Did I make you cry, Y/Nick? Gosh, I’m such a failure as a man...And as your future husband. I will never forgive myself for making you protect me...When I should be to one to protect you.” he growled in anger and disappointment as he jumped off and started killing all of them with such ease, that it was almost with grace.
I finally felt myself beginning to calm down, the adrenaline rapidly disappearing, and I let go of the ropes, falling to the ground like a ragged doll, thanking every deity existent that we were both okay.
When he finished taking care of the enemies, he returned to me and falling to his knees, pulled me in a tight embrace.
“I’m sorry, Y/N, I fucked up. I don’t deserve to be your husband. I was weak, I couldn’t protect you when you needed me the most...I should have been there to save you, not the other way around...And because of me, you got hurt.” he growled, obviously hating himself for something like that. “Narci...Please don’t say that. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have been able to escape my own room...And now, it was you who saved us, not me. You were the one to give me strength, so please, don’t be upset.” I threw my arms around his neck, cradling him. “I really don’t deserve an angel like you...” he muttered, which only made me scoff and pull him in a deep kiss, which made him widen his eyes in utmost shock. “You’re my husband, I won’t allow you to pull yourself down like that. You promised to stay by my side from now on, so do that! I need you NOW and I need you FOREVER, so don’t you dare go back on your promise, do you hear me, Narciso Anasui?!” I shook him by the shoulders lightly, as he could only nod, still in shock. “Let’s get out of here. We’re going home.” he said in a firm voice, picking me up bridal style, as we started looking for the way out.
The way out was actually killing all the monsters, which was much like a symbolism to killing our own nightmares and traumas, and in a way, it felt empowering to finally have someone by my side to help me go through the darker periods of my life.
And together, we succeeded, and found ourselves back to our hiding spot, with the master of the prison laying down in a pool of his own blood, dead.
Smiling at each other in accomplishment, we held hands, intertwining our fingers together, and ran the hell outta there to the meeting spot, where everyone was waiting for us a bit impatiently, but it all worked out, and we were taken away by the Speedwagon Foundation.
Jolyne and Emporio went to live with her family, Foo, Hermes and Weather got a house close by, while I and Anasui were lucky to get our own place, since we were ‘married’. To top it off, SPW provided us with jobs and the possibility to get any kind of degree we wanted, so of course, with my Stand ability, I chose Medicine, while Anasui chose something to his own strengths, so he chose Engineering, and thankfully enough, both jobs were rather profitable, so we could afford to pay back everything in a short time period.
Days, weeks, months passed, and living together with Anasui proved to be as natural as breathing, and our routine was making us forget about all the troubles we encountered during our lives.
Night time, however, proved to be much cruel, as nightmares were still plaguing us, playing on our insecurities, trying to weaken us...And I was already weak.
“It’s alright, darling, don’t worry, it was just a nightmare. I’m here now, calm down, it already passed.” Anasui pulled me in his arms, showering me with kisses all over my face, playing with my hair, the lights on to shoo away the nightmares. “Don’t leave me, Narci. Please don’t leave me. I’m so scared...I don’t think I could stay by myself. I love you, please don’t leave me.” I clinged to him, crying, not able to calm myself down. “I love you, Y/Nick. You are my wife, how could I leave you? I promised you, I would stay by your side for the rest of my life...Ah...Okay, fine, I was going to keep this until your birthday, but...” getting up from the bed, he went to the wardrobe and pulled out a little pink satin box, and got in front of me, kneeling, and looking at me with a tender expression. “I guess choosing the right time is better, especially if this will reassure you that I will never leave you, or cheat on you...Or anything. You have no idea of the effect you have on me...That you’ve always had, since we met that day. I need you more than you need me. I cling on the kindness and light that you show me, more than flowers lean towards the Sun and moths go towards the light. I love you, Y/N, and if you ever doubt it, I will be here to remind you that you are the most important being in my life and I will treasure you forever. Will you officially be my wife?” he confessed, a soft smile on his face, as I couldn’t stop myself from crying harder, nodding vigorously. “O-Of course! There’s nothing else that I’d want more than to spend the rest of my life together with you...I love you so much, Narci...I will never understand why you can hold so much love for me...But I’m the luckiest girl in the world. I don’t deserve you, but...But now you are my husband...And I’m so happy...I’m so happy, I don’t even have the words to express it...” I hid my face with my hands, to try to stop myself from blushing, but it was in vain.
Chuckling, Anasui got back on the bed, putting the ring on my finger and pulling me into another embrace, wiping my tears and kissing me passionately, then cuddled again, holding tightly to each other.
“I love you endlessly, Y/N.”
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guiltiest-gear · 3 years
Note
It has to be written and NO links
Real picky you know that anon
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utagoe · 4 years
Text
A3!: Natsu tte Pari Pari! (夏って☆パリパリ!) Lyrics
Kanji, romaji and English translation for Natsu tte Paripari! (Summer is Lively!) by the Summer Troupe
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(kanji source)
夏ってサマーじゃん 夏って Yeah Yeah! 夏ってサマーじゃん エ・ビ・バ・リ! 夏ってサマーじゃん 夏って Yeah Yeah! 夏ってサマーじゃん 騒げ――っ! Wow!!!
Hi Hi パリパリ☆ Fooo! Hi Hi パリパリ☆
あ~~~ つくなって、ぶつかって、個性が爆発! (夏ってサマーじゃん 夏って Yeah Yeah!) 波風立てちゃって、嵐も呼んじゃって! (夏ってサマーじゃん 夏って Yeah Yeah!)
でも なんだかんだで 気づいたら いつだって ノ・リ・ノ・リ! いつも(Foo Foo!) いつまでも(Foo Foo!) こうして みんなで お祭りしよう 騒げ――っ!
Yo 夏ってんの?(ワッショイ!) 夏っちゃってんの?(ワッショイ!) もう止まんない そして終わんない つまり Day & Night ずっと パリパリ☆
太陽サンサン(ワッショイ!) 暑いぜ サマー(ワッショイ!) もうハンパない マジフツーじゃない ちょっと笑っちゃうくらい パリパリ☆
Ah そんな感じで 歌おう アミーゴ! 踊ろう アモーレ! オレたち最高のパーリーしよ!(Fooo!)
あ~~~ せかいて、声出して、テンションが爆発! (夏ってサマーじゃん 夏って Yeah Yeah!) 犬猿の仲ってゆーか、もはや動物園! (夏ってサマーじゃん 夏って Yeah Yeah!)
思いっ切りケンカして すぐに仲良くなって ノ・リ・ノ・リ! 明日も(Foo Foo!) あさっても(Foo Foo!) みんなと 笑顔で いられるように 笑え――っ!
Yo 夏ってんの?(ワッショイ!) 夏っちゃってんの?(ワッショイ!) もう止まんない そして終わんない つまり Day & Night ずっと パリパリ☆
バイブス ガンガン(ワッショイ!) ヤバイぜ サマー(ワッショイ!) もうたまんない ってか間違いない ずっと上がっちゃうくらい パリパリ☆
Ah 声を合わせて も一回 アミーゴ! 叫ぼう アモーレ! 何回だって 最高のパーリーしよ!(Fooo!)
「ちょっとみんなテンション高すぎ!」 「なに言ってんの?まだまだいけるでしょ?」 「うん!僕もまだいけるよ!」 「イイネイイネ~☆もっとバイブス上げてこ~う!」 「バイブスってさんかく~?」 「いいからお前ら、コールアンドレスポンスいくぞ!せーのっ! 」
夏って TE・N・MA! (夏って TE・N・MA!) 夏って YU・KI! (夏って YU・KI!) 夏って MI・SU・MI! (夏って MI・SU・MI!) 夏って MU・KU! (夏って MU・KU!) 夏って KU・MO・N! (夏って KU・MO・N!) 「おっけーい!その調子で もっともっと夏っちゃお☆せーのーっ!」 (KA・ZU・NA・RI!)
「ぐぅやば~~~!!!」 「っ、テンアゲ~!」
Yo 夏ってんの?(ワッショイ!) 夏っちゃってんの?(ワッショイ!) もう止まんない そして終わんない つまり Day & Night ずっと パリパリ☆
太陽サンサン(ワッショイ!) 暑いぜ サマー(ワッショイ!) もうハンパない マジフツーじゃない ちょっと笑っちゃうくらい パリパリ☆
Ah そんな感じで 歌おう アミーゴ! 踊ろう アモーレ! オレたち最高のパーリーしよ!(Fooo!)
夏ってサマーじゃん 夏って Yeah Yeah! 夏ってサマーじゃん エ・ビ・バ・リ! 夏ってサマーじゃん 夏って Yeah Yeah! 夏ってサマーじゃん 騒げ――っ! Wow!!!
Romaji
natsu tte samaa jan natsu tte Yeah Yeah! natsu tte samaa jan e-bi-ba-ri! natsu tte samaa jan natsu tte Yeah Yeah! natsu tte samaa jan sawageee! Wow!!!
Hi Hi paripari Fooo! Hi Hi paripari
a~~~ tsukunatte, butsukatte, kosei ga bakuhatsu! (natsu tte samaa jan natsu tte Yeah Yeah!) namikaze tatechatte, arashi mo yonjatte! (natsu tte samaa jan natsu tte Yeah Yeah!)
demo nanda kanda de kizuitara itsu datte no-ri-no-ri! itsumo (Foo Foo!) itsumademo (Foo Foo!) kou shite minna de omatsuri shiyou sawageee!
Yo natsu tten no? (Wasshoi!) natsu cchaten no? (Wasshoi!) mou tomannai soshite owannai tsumari Day&Night zutto paripari
taiyou sansan (Wasshoi!) atsui ze samaa (Wasshoi!) mou hanpa nai maji futsuu janai chotto waracchau kurai paripari
Ah sonna kanji de utaou amiigo! odorou amoore! oretachi saikou no paarii shiyo! (Fooo!)
a~~~ se kaite, koe dashite, tenshon ga bakuhatsu! (natsu tte samaa jan natsu tte Yeah Yeah!) ken'en no naka tte yuuka, mohaya doubutsuen! (natsu tte samaa jan natsu tte Yeah Yeah!)
omoi kkiri kenka shite sugu ni naka yoku natte no-ri-no-ri! asu mo (Foo Foo!) asatte mo (Foo Foo!) minna to egao de irareru youni warae!
Yo natsu tten no? (Wasshoi!) natsu cchaten no? (Wasshoi!) mou tomannai soshite owannai tsumari Day&Night zutto paripari
baibusu gangan (Wasshoi!) yabai ze samaa (Wasshoi!) mou tamannai tteka machigai nai zutto agacchau kurai paripari
Ah koe wo awasete mo ikkai amiigo! sakebou amoore! nankai datte saikou no paarii shiyo! (Fooo!)
"chotto minna tenshon takasugi!" "nani itten no? mada mada ikeru desho?" "un! boku mo mada ikeruyo!" "ii ne ii ne~ motto baibusu agete ko~u!" "baibusu tte sankaku~?" "ii kara omaera, kooru ando resuponsu ikuzo! sei no!"
natsu tte TE-N-MA! (natsu tte TE-N-MA!) natsu tte YU-KI! (natsu tte YU-KI!) natsu tte MI-SU-MI! (natsu tte MI-SU-MI!) natsu tte MU-KU! (natsu tte MU-KU!) natsu tte KU-MO-N! (natsu tte KU-MO-N!) "okkei! sono choushi de motto motto natsu cchao sei no!" (KA-ZU-NA-RI!)
"guu yaba~~~!!!" "ten age~!"
Yo natsu tten no? (Wasshoi!) natsu cchaten no? (Wasshoi!) mou tomannai soshite owannai tsumari Day&Night zutto paripari
taiyou sansan (Wasshoi!) atsuize samaa (Wasshoi!) mou hanpa nai maji futsuu janai chotto waracchau kurai paripari
Ah sonna kanji de utaou amiigo! odorou amoore! oretachi saikou no paarii shiyo! (Fooo!)
natsu tte samaa jan natsu tte Yeah Yeah! natsu tte samaa jan e-bi-ba-ri! natsu tte samaa jan natsu tte Yeah Yeah! natsu tte samaa jan sawageee! Wow!!!
English
Summer's summer! Summer's Yeah Yeah! Summer's summer! Everybody! Summer's summer! Summer's Yeah Yeah! Summer's summer! Make noise――! Wow!!!
Hi Hi Lively☆ Fooo! Hi Hi Lively☆
Aa~~~ Getting hot, colliding, our personalities explode! (Summer's summer! Summer's Yeah Yeah!) Making wind and waves, calling a storm! (Summer's summer! Summer's Yeah Yeah!)
But, all in all, When I realized, we were always In high spirits! Every time (Foo Foo!) Forever (Foo Foo!) Everybody together, Just like this, Let's have a festival Make noise――!
Yo, you summering? (Wasshoi!) Are you summering? (Wasshoi!) We can't stop anymore And this won't end In short, all Day&Night long We're lively☆
The sun is bright (Wasshoi!) Summer's really hot (Wasshoi!) It's impressive But isn't that normal? Enough to make us laugh a little, We're lively☆
Ah, just like that Let's sing, amigo! Let's dance, amore! Let's have the best of parties! (Fooo!)
Aa~~~ Sweat, say it loud, our high spirits explode! (Summer's summer! Summer's Yeah Yeah!) Like cats and dogs, or rather a zoo at this point! (Summer's summer! Summer's Yeah Yeah!)
Fighting with all our hearts, Then immediately making up In high spirits! Tomorrow too (Foo Foo!) And the day after (Foo Foo!) I hope We can all Smile together Smile――!
Yo, you summering? (Wasshoi!) Are you summering? (Wasshoi!) We can't stop anymore And this won't end In short, all Day&Night long We're lively☆
Our vibes are intense (Wasshoi!) Summer's amazing (Wasshoi!) I can't get enough There's no doubt Always going even higher We're lively☆
Ah, uniting our voices One more time, amigo! Let's shout, amore! Let's have the best of parties again and again! (Fooo!)
"Hey, you're all too excited!" "What? We can still keep it up, can't we?" "Yeah! I can keep it up too!" "That's great~☆ Let's raise our vibes even more~!" "Is 'vibes' a triangle~?" "Ok, all of you, let's do a call and response! Ready!"
Summer's TE-N-MA! (Summer's TE-N-MA!) Summer's YU-KI! (Summer's YU-KI!) Summer's MI-SU-MI! (Summer's MI-SU-MI!) Summer's MU-KU! (Summer's MU-KU!) Summer's KU-MO-N! (Summer's KU-MO-N!) "Okay! With that good mood, let's summer even more☆ Ready!" (KA-ZU-NA-RI!)
"Incredible~~~!!!" "So exciting~!"
Yo, you summering? (Wasshoi!) Are you summering? (Wasshoi!) We can't stop anymore And this won't end In short, all Day&Night long We're lively☆
The sun is bright (Wasshoi!) Summer's really hot (Wasshoi!) It's impressive But isn't that normal? Enough to make us laugh a little, We're lively☆
Ah, just like that Let's sing, amigo! Let's dance, amore! Let's have the best of parties! (Fooo!)
Summer's summer! Summer's Yeah Yeah! Summer's summer! Everybody! Summer's summer! Summer's Yeah Yeah! Summer's summer! Make noise――! Wow!!!
26 notes · View notes
aquarelleskies · 4 years
Note
91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? 93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo. 62. Hated popular songs/artists? (NOT ED)
yo, thank you! ♡♡♡ do slide in my DMs with your replies to these! 😛
91:  i thought of that while walking my dog recently! i think Daisy is such a cute name. or Amelie. or Marianne. damn, it would have to be Marianne, it’s too pretty and i can’t get over how i almost got called it “if our last name wasn’t so weird-sounding” :((
93. 🐙 but the one i have on my phone, not this one. or 💖!
62. um, The 1975, Foo Fighters, Metallica etc., Taylor Swift..... and probably more, but i don’t hate-hate them, just don’t understand/care for their music ✌️ i hate only Eduardo
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godconsume · 4 years
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➍ ♬ ☪
A MUNDAY MEME. // accepting
➍: Ever been to a concert? Was it fun?
YES, and i loved it!! for my 22nd birthday last year my ma bought us tickets to go see the foo fighters in seattle. ♥♥♥ my parents got stuck on the kinda meh seating because it was in a baseball arena and it wasn’t super equipped for a rock concert, but i loved it.it was my v first concert and i bought an overly expensive zip-up hoodie and tapestry blanket that were worth it to me.
♬: Cats or dogs?
yo dogs are the bomb dot com and i grew up with dogs... but cats suit my personality better.i am not a v outgoing, energetic person, and i feel kinda bad that my dachshund doesn’t get the Full Dog Experience he deserves with me (he’s really my mom’s dog despite being bought for me YEARS ago in middle school).
on the other hand, i am way more capable of fulfilling the needs of my perfect baby princess, and while i am not always the best cat mom, it is honestly way better in the long run altogether.tbh i feel like the cats vs dogs debate shouldn’t be a debate but instead a mutual agreement that everyone has an animal that suits them best and that they are both good  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
☪: Have you ever flipped off someone?
LMAO all the time.but never where they can visibly see it.sometimes when someone cuts you off in traffic or is a general dickhead, it feels good to get it out by flipping them the bird under your dash.
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specialmindz · 5 years
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“LOOK SNAS! Weaves.” Papyrus held out his gloves to show his brother the handful of wet leaves he had picked off the ground, wearing a big smile…though it was a tad TOO big for Sans liking…  
“yep, those are leaves all right...you’re not gonna eat those are ya’?”
“Course’ not stink head,” said the baby bones, slightly insulted. “Unlike you big Buther, I knows the difference between clothes and food. You think the baby be stupid?”
“i don’t eat trees and those aren’t clothes. trees don’t wear leaves to stay warm, otherwise they wouldn’t be on the ground come winter.”
“They’re hats Snas, and hats are clothes. Twees doesn’t wear them during winter cause’ they all worn out,” Papyrus picked up a leaf. “See dis leaf? It gots holes in it. Not good. They needs new hats.”
“no they don’t, the leaves collect sunlight for them so they can get energy, pappy. There’s holes in them because insects are eating them.”
Apparently, he thinks I’M stupid…
“Not erybody a twee-eating woah-bot Snas…sides’ we’s underground silly bones!”
“i’m not-”
“And the sun don’t go out in winter! Nyeh heh heh!”
Sans gave his brother a look, but stayed silent. He knew full well that his younger sibling was just waiting for him to argue so he could start some kind of drama and he wasn’t going to give the infant the satisfaction. Papyrus knew about the sun lamps that hung from the mountain ceiling and if he wanted to pick a fight about something that stupid, he was going to have to try a little harder than that.
I wish he’d put his energy to good use…I know he’s just a baby, but he’s smart right? He could do some real good for the Underground if he’d just try. Why does he wanna act stupid and annoy people all the time?
“We should be good baes and get the twees some new hats before someone cut them down,” said Papyrus, pulling Sans out of his thoughts. “They moves real slow ya’ know? Like Charlie. I bet Dirt-Butt knows where the hat store be! Is probably in one of those tunnels…a kiosk if baby had to guess.”
Oh yeah, Flowey! I forgot about him, he hasn’t visited us in a while.
Maybe Papyrus ISN’T trying to start a fight after all…maybe he thinks since Flowey’s a monster, ALL plants are monsters…they just can’t talk like he can.
Still feels like he’s messing with me though, why call the leaves hats instead of hair? They grow on top of the trees like hair and hair falls out and I even heard it gets damaged…
An image of Undyne arguing with her mother flashed through his mind. She got in trouble often because she wouldn’t put her hair up before swimming and usually ended up with leaves and other grasses Sans wasn’t familiar with tangled in her bright red locks.
One day she might make a habit of putting it in a ponytail of some sort, but for now, her hair was too short for her to care too much. She was never one to care about her physical appearance; if it wasn’t slowing her down in the water or getting caught on stuff, Undyne simply didn’t and wouldn’t care no matter how much her mother screamed at her.
I’m glad I don’t have hair. As pretty as it is, it looks hard to take care of.
Where is Undyne anyway? She was supposed to meet us here…
“SNAS!”
“huh?” Sans stopped daydreaming and looked down to find a very annoyed baby bones glaring up at him. Apparently, he had missed a question…that, or an entire conversation.      
“uh, sorry. what’s a kiosk?”
“*Sigh* Is a tiny shop dat sells tiny things,” replied the baby holding his fingers close together. “I was talkin’ bout’ how there might be one that sells hats for da’ twees in one of those tunnels.”
“you mean the dog tunnels?”
“Yep! Is a good hiding pace cause’ lossa peoples think branches are the twee’s arms, but is really their roots. They use them to walk and grab stuffs from underground like Dirt-Butt, but you probly already knowed that. Hippie’s be one wit da’ nature! You’s keeping the twee store a secret right? Cause’ is illegal? You help the twees a widdle and they give you a munch on da’ side?”
“what the hell are you talking about papyrus?” asked Sans completely lost.
“You’s leading peoples astray wit yo’ cwazy talk about twees having solar powers so that no one will cut them down and in return, they let you eat their hats.”
Oh good, it’s another one of his conspiracy theories. Those don’t get old at all.
“the only one talkin’ crazy here is you baby bro. i don’t know how dad made you, but something went very wrong.”
“Nope, I’s right all right. You just gots da’ trust issues. You think I’s gonna tell erybody about the store, so you’s lying with the deceit!” exclaimed the baby pointing his finger at his brother accusingly. “Don’t know why you think baby would do dat, I’s always been nice to you and I’s ALWAYS honest, but-”
“bullcrap you’re honest! ain’t nothing ‘honest’ about you!”
“If daz what you think, then your memory be worse then the baby’s!”
“n-”
“You should go ask Daddy to fix yo’ memory brain big Buther.”
Okay he DOES want to start a fight.
“my memory’s fine and you know it. you lie about everything. you told me the mountain was made out of dinosaur poop!”
“It is!”
“it’s not.”
“Is too! Daz why all mountains are big and pointy and stuffs grow on them. Is cause’ doody be good fer-ti-lizer. Dis mountain don’t smell no more cause’ is been a gazillion years is all…”
“you’re so full of crap.”
“Nuh uh, ask the baby bear dat lives here, he know! He tell me humans climb doody mountains like dis allll the time looking for bears, so they can injects em’ with stuff dat turns them into candies.”
“i doubt he even knows you.”
“He do, he know me and he tell da’ baby dat the serum stuffs make all their fur fall out and turns their bodies into gummies. It shrink them too Snas! Like, reeeal small, till’ they can fits in yo’ hand. Humans call the candies Gummy Bears and they puts em’ on their nice cream.”
“gummy bears huh? shame. that’s not a very creative name pap, and you were telling such a great lie too.”
“I’s NOT lying! I gots poof, see?” Papyrus pulled a bag of…something, out of his jacket and held it up proudly. “It say ‘Gummy Bears’ and inside be widdle dead bears that got caught stealing pic-i-nic baskets. Dis what bears get for stealing big Buther…they doesn’t go to jail cause’ they strong enough to bend da’ bars.”
“eww! put that down papyrus, it’s dripping!”
“NO! These MY gummies! Go find yo’ own Snas!”
SCRUF SCRUF SCRUF SCRUF!
Papyrus ran through the snow as best a baby bones could in a vain attempt to protect his gummies from his hungry hippo brother, but the snow was FAR too deep for such a tiny thing like him he realized, as he noticed Sans walking beside him nonchalantly with his hands in his pockets.
Fine then, Plan B.
Rolling onto his back, he began kicking in the air, holding onto his bag of candy protectively. “If you think taking candies from dis baby gonna be easy, we’ll see what you think after yo’ teeths go missing, NYEH!”
“you’re gonna get sick bro.”
“I PUT YOU IN DA’ MEDICAL WING FIRST! You weave mah gummies alone stink buther, YOU GOTS YOUR HATS!”
Teleporting behind his sibling, Sans grabbed the bag with the shrieking baby bones still attached. He didn’t know HOW Papyrus had managed to eat so many things from the Dump without getting sick, but the comedian’s paranoia was starting to get to him. Monsters that couldn’t handle the poisonous fumes from the volcano in Hotland were dropping like flies and being sent to their Medical Ward in the lab, never to return; in fact, NO sick monsters were returning from the Medical Ward, despite some of their illnesses not being all that serious.
It’s because we’re so low on magic crystals.
The medicines we use are made from plants that need sun lamps like these to live, but without the crystals to provide the electricity...
“…i hope WE don’t get sick…”
Papyrus stopped screaming for a second. “Nyeh?”
Uh oh, what was Sans thinking about NOW? Obviously, his mind was no longer on the bag of Gummy Bears…or on how cruel he was being, taking candies away from cute little skelly babies such as himself.
He seemed to be fixated on the sun lamps above them, glowing dimly, definitely not as bright as last month. Papyrus didn’t really know how the lamps worked, or at least he didn’t remember anyway, but he knew why they were dim. They had to turn the power down to conserve what little energy they had left.    
“Why you worried bout’ the fake suns Snas? You still gots da’ fake sparklies in Waterfall…”
“*sigh* you…you don’t understand bro. the plants we use…they need these lights to live. if they go out, we won’t have any more medicine or even foo-”
Oh shit.
“GASP! NO FOOD?!”
“papyrus.”
Aw crap, I shouldn’t have said anything.
“BUT YOU NEEDS FOOD!” exclaimed Papyrus, dropping to the ground and putting his hands to his cheekbones. “WHAT YOU GONNA DO IF THERE NO PLANTS FOR YOU TO MUNCH HIPPIE WOAH-BOT BABY? YOU CAN’T WIVE OFF MILK LIKE I DOS!”
“you don’t live off milk, i’ve seen you eat other…you were just trying to eat this garbage!”
“Don’t worry Snas! We gonna go find Dirt-Butt and get him to tell the twees the sit-u-ation-”
“I DON’T EAT TREES!”
“We gonna get him to tell the twees in their language that times have changed. Like an old diaper, IS TIME TO DO AWAY WITH PAST TRADITIONS AND WELCOME DA’ NEW!”
“what the hell are you talking about?”
“NO LONGER SHALL THEY LIVE THEIR WIVES AS NUDISTS!” cried Papyrus, pumping his fist into the air.
“the hell do you know what a nudist is? we don’t watch videos like that!”
“NO LONGER SHALL THEY ACCEPT BEING TREATED LIKE SECOND CLASS PEOPLES AND DEPEND ON OUR FAKE SUNS FOR WARMTH!”
“iii don’t think you understand how trees OR sun lamps work baby bro…”
“THEY SHALL FIGHT FOR THEIR INNAPENDENCE! Tell em’ Dirt-Butt.”
“WE SHALL FIGHT FOR OUR INDEPENDENCE!”
“NO, no one’s fighting ANYONE, and get outta here flowey! where’d you even come from?!”
Poking his head out from behind a tree, Flowey leapt up onto a nearby stump and began his trademark wiggling dance, equipped with a smile. “I heard the brat say my name a couple minutes ago. Usually, that means something terrible is about to befall me in the near future, so I thought I’d stick around and learn what that something was beforehand, so as to avoid any trauma…wasn’t aware this was a pep rally though.”
“it’s not. like i said, no one’s fighting anybody, pap’s just being dumb.”
“YOU DUMB! They are gonna fight Snas! monsters be cutting power from the high lamps so big peoples can have their coffee, and they cuts twees down for firewood if their hats not pretty enough! DIRT-BUTT’S PEOPLE BE OPPRESSED!”
“YEAH SMILEY, MY PEOPLE ARE OPPRESSED!”
“THEY WANTS EQUAL RIGHTS!”
“WE WANT VENGENCE!”
“THEY WANTS RESPECT!”
“WE WANT BLOOD!”
“THEY WANTS A BRIGHTER FOOTURE FOR THEIR BABIES!”
“WE WANT A NEW WORLD ORDER!”
“you two are NOT on the same page.”
“DOWN WIT DA’ RACIST MONSTERS AND THEIR RACIST WAYS! VIVA REVOLUTION!”
“viva-what…?”
“GENOCIDE GENOCIDE!!”
RUSTLE!
RUSTLE!
“Hm?” Flowey turned his head towards a tree that had yet to lose most of its leaves upon hearing something rustling within. Squinting his eyes didn’t do him a bit of good in finding out just who the shadowy figure lurking amongst the branches was, but the text that appeared when they spoke…and the voice that accompanied it, were all the hints he needed to get him rolling them in IMMEDIATE annoyance.
“GET THE HELL OFF ME PEDO-TREE! LET GO OF MY HAIR!”
Oh good, it’s Fish Breath. I was waiting for someone to ruin my day…
“Nyeh? Where you going Dirt-Butt?”
“GODDAMNIT!”
“Yeaah, I forgot, the trees and I juust passed this new law that says no hanging out with dorks…sucks huh?”
“…”
“…”
“Oh don’t you two look at me like that! You know I voted against it, but we plants run a democracy sooo…duces dorks! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
And with that, Flowey vanished into the ground just as Undyne came tumbling down the tree.
“OOF!”
“undyne!” Sans dropped the bag of gummies and ran over to help her up. “don’t touch that bag bro! undyne, are you alright?”
“Ow…STUPID TREE! YOU’RE LUCKY ALL THESE HATS BROKE MY FALL OR I’D KICK YOUR ASS!”
Sans stopped.
“Um, hello? Aren’t you gonna help me up? I’M A LADY DAMNIT!”
“*Mamph* I’ll helps you *gulp* Fish Lady!”
“I’m just kidding Papyrus, I’m okay, I’m fi-no…no Papyrus, don’t-don’t touch me, go. Go. Over. There. Go to your brother.”
“You wants some of these candies? They’re good…”
“No, they smell gross and they’re dripping with gay water,” said Undyne, pushing Papyrus towards Sans.
“Is okay! I heard-ed somewhere that the rainbow water only affects froggets…”
“pappy-”
“Why? Because they’re water monsters? Well so am I, so I can’t eat stuff from the Dump.” She looked around the wooded area. “Where’s that one guy that was shouting about homicide? I know there was someone else here!”
Did he climb up a tree like I did?
“genocide, not homicide. Flowey left awhile ago. As soon as you fell out of that tree as a matter of fact…why WHERE you up there anyway?”
“I was on a stakeout, looking for that one kid that likes to get mad at people when they don’t find him funny. Snowdrake or whatever his name is.” She scanned the area again with her one good eye; there was DEFINITELY someone else here before. She wouldn’t mistake an annoying high-pitched voice like that for Sans or even Papyrus.
Where could they have gone so quickly?
“what, snowdrake? why?! snowdrake isn’t a criminal! he gets mad when people don’t like his puns, but he doesn’t ATTACK people!”
Often…
Undyne glared at him, but Sans refused to back down. Snowdrake was one of the few people he HOPED he could become friends with in time. He didn’t seem to care about how dangerous his little brother was, only that Sans enjoyed his jokes. Apparently, his father was a comedian and had been for several years, but the two didn’t get along because of one singular problem Snowdrake had. He didn’t understand comedy. He enjoyed puns like Sans, but he couldn’t seem to grasp the concept of what they were for and he often got angry whenever people didn’t find him funny.
To be honest, his temper tantrums were an embarrassment to Sans, but he hoped in time he’d grow out of it, and he damn sure wasn’t going to ruin everything by ratting him out to Undyne so she could play hero…  
“HE’S DISTURBING THE PEACE SANS! HE’S DISTURBING THE PEACE OF OUR PEACEFUL COMMUNITY AND MUST BE BROUGHT TO JUSTICE! Though it sounds like I found an even BIGGER problem in our community…”
“a bigger problem?”
“A poacher of endangered monsters! Where did this genie-killer go Sans? YOU HAVE TO TELL ME OR YOU’RE AN ACCOMPLICE!”
The Font stared at her for a moment, torn between being relieved that her attention had been drawn elsewhere and being annoyed with having to once again deal with another big plate of stupid so early in the morning. “what genie-killer? genies don’t even exist. i said GENO-cide, not genie-cide. you heard wrong.”
“I don’t think so. Another name for genies is ‘djinn’ and it’s pronounced the same way. I’m not stupid Sans! I don’t read nerd books, but I study the law and stuff! GEN-ocide or DJINN-ocide, however you want to spell it, is the murder of GENIES-”
“no.”
“And genies are a rare breed of ghost monster that possess an object and come out only to grant wishes-”
“no.”
This is a VERY big plate of stupid.
“THAT’S why poachers are after them. If bad people make bad wishes, it could destroy the world, so they hunt them down. Your friend might THINK he’s doing everyone a favor, but he’s still a murderer if he kills one-”
“genies do not exist.”
“*Nom* Nowheres but the Middle East anyways.”
“…”
“…”
“…what?”
Papyrus reached into his bag. “The word ‘djinn’ is Arabic. That mean genies come from da’ Middle East…dat’s where Egypt be big Buther. Is in da’ middle of the earth…but also a widdle east,” he popped a gummy into his mouth. “I doesn’t know if they come from Saudi Arabia or Iraq, but they definitely not live here. They be used to desert environments ya’ know? It be too cold in da’ Massachusetts.”
“How did you spell that…?”
“the only word i recognize there is ‘egypt.’ that…place you keep talking about.”
“Well maybe if you read-ed books about our panet instead of about sparklies all the time, you’d know somethin’.”
“we don’t HAVE books like that.”
Not even in the library. Everyone left for Mt. Ebott at such short notice, they just brought what they had on them. Most of the books come from what the kids had in their backpacks when they…
Wait a minute…
“Daddy do. He gots allll da’ info on stuffs. He taked all the important books out the library for himself and the baby! He say the bigger I gets, the more memories I lose, so I gots to read lots! He say I can’t let YOU read them though, cause’ you might leave and travel da’ world without me, but I know you not do that. You can read mah books whenever you wants ALL you wants…”
“wait hold on, you have a memory problem?”
This was news to Sans.
Assuming it wasn’t a lie of course.
It was true he hadn’t been paying much attention to Papyrus much to his shame, what with worrying about their future and all, but when he did, he noticed there WERE, in fact, instances where he would question his baby brother’s intellect, or at the very least, his mind.
There was once a time when Sans and paranoia were inseparable. He would question everything his brother said and did, knowing he was the Lying Font, and always assuming Papyrus was messing with him, he would prepare for the worst or simply flat out ignore the baby bones; but things had long since changed. Nowadays, it was difficult to tell whether or not the infant believed his own lies and that made weeding them out in general that much more difficult. His father warned him:
“Papyrus is the king of deceit. As he grows older his lies will become more intricate and deadly."
An intimidating message that seemed less laughable as the months flew by.
He thought it’d be easy…for HIM at least, to tell when his brother was lying, because he spent the most time with him, but the reality was, his sibling was changing right before his eyes and Sans couldn’t decide if he was getting dumber or cleverer. According to his father, the Papyrus fonts were the world’s greatest actors because they were METHOD actors; walking, talking, even thinking like the characters they tried to portray. They were the only people on earth who could pretend to be somebody else for years if not forever without going completely insane, because they had no set personality and weren’t aware that they’re lying not only to everyone around them, but to themselves included…but SANS’ brother had Wingdings, meaning there was enough there…enough personality to have a second font anyway, and that drove the comedian insane.
I know my bro’s a genius; he knows about trees.
DOES he have a memory problem?
Did he forget what leaves are? Or how sun lamps work?
Or is he just pretending to be an ordinary baby who doesn’t understand how the WORLD works yet?
He’s lying. He has to be lying. He’s lying right? He’s just pretending to have memory problems so his future lies will seem more innocent. “Oh, I didn’t MEAN to lie when I said the wind on the surface sometimes picked up houses and threw them at people big Brother! I just forgot how wind works cause’ I have memory issues!”
Lying little shit.
He’s lying right?
“…for real pap, do you really have memory problems?”            
“Yep. I used to know erything a baby needed to know to be big, but now there be things I gots to understand all over again. It suck monkey big Buther…” Papyrus looked sad, but Sans couldn’t tell if it was because he was telling the truth, or because he had run out of those disgusting gummies of his. The infant tilted the bag upside down, spilling the garbage juice within onto the snowy ground near his boots. “All gone…nyeh…”
“ugh…bro…”
Seriously, what’s in that baby formula of his?!
“EWW! WHY’D YOU DO THAT? SANS GET YOUR BROTHER!”
Sighing, he did as he was told. “c’mere pap, let’s go get some real food at grillby’s,” he said, tucking the infant under one arm.
“Gillby’s? Dat stink pace wit da’ frog food? How bout’ no? Put baby down, I eats things at the Dump, not things that BELONG at the Dump.”
“wh-you love hamburgers!”
“Yeah! Hamburgers are GREAT! If you don’t like Grillby’s food, YOU DON’T BELONG IN THIS COUNTRY! Right Sans?”
“I loved em’ good before I knowed they be made of frog…and you doesn’t even know what country we in, so shut it up clown fish with the racism, or Imma tell mah Daddy!”
“YOU’RE A CLOWN FISH, AND I’M NOT SCARED OF YOUR DAD! I’M NOT SCARED OF ANYTHING!!”
“hamburgers aren’t made of frogs bro-”
“What-”
“OR froggets.”
“…They slimy dough…you shouldn’t give slimy stuffs to widdle babies Snas, we gets it in our hairs…”
“it’s not slime-”
“Don’t you care about my hairs…?”
“OH MY GOD! IT’S GREASE, NOT SLIME AND IT’S DELICIOUS!” yelled Undyne hurling a large rock across the woods.
“hey, watch it! you’re gonna hurt somebody!”
“Grease be a movie Fish Lady. I don’t wish to nibble on greased lightning, I’ll gets elly-cuted…electra-cuted. Then Gillby will serve me as da’ baby back ribs and peoples will love it…cept’ they won’t love it cause’ there only be one serving cause’ there only be one me. The customers probly think, ‘why dis one guy get the baby ribs and we don’t? why we not special like him? I not eat here no mores!’ Then Gillby get no more customers and he go out of business…and that will make big Buther sad.”
“…”
“He like the frog food even dough is not healthy for a hippie woah-bot…unless you’s just eating da’ lettuce. You no eat the frog patty Snas? What you do wit dat frog patty?”
“It’s not frog, it’s cow…or magic. Magic cow…? Hey Sans, what are hamburgers made of?”
“it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t care. he just wants your attention-”
“IS MOO-COW? LIKE AZZY’S MOM?”
“Uhh…yeah…?”
Who’s Azzy? He doesn’t go to my daycare…
“Ooooh…still, I doesn’t wish to eat at Gillby’s. I thanks you for the invitation Snas, but I’s trying to get big as in tall, not big as in you.”
“go die in a fire papyrus.”
“Daz rude.”
Deciding on silence, Sans teleported to Grillby’s. Perhaps a burger would keep his baby brother quiet for a while…
“HEY SANS YOU JERK! YOU LEFT ME BEHIND!”
SCRUF SCRUF SCRUF SCRUF SCRUF!
“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO INVITE ME AND PAY FOR MY MEAL, MAMA SAID!!”
Or maybe it wouldn’t be so quiet after all.  
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