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thegirlwhowritesawksh-t · 3 years

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la douleur de l'amour - georgenotfound x f!reader

author: @thegirlwhowritesawksh-t me!

word count: 4.7k +

warnings: hella angst, mentions of blood/scabs/injuries. if there’s any you think that you see, please let me know!

a/n: hi y’all :)) first off, to whoever’s reading this: stay hydrated, smile and laugh! and second: this is my submission for @bozowrites writing event! <33 congrats!!

**this is my second fic, and i’m hoping to push more out as i get more comfortable with writing! i’m thinking to maybe make a part two to this but i don't know yet. please let me know what you think! *sending besitos to y’all :))*

Prompt: Why are you crying?

1:15 p.m.

In the corner of a dimly lit studio in front of the barre, (y/n) leans over to her left, counting four beats before resetting and proceeding to stretch over her right side. After months spent choreographing, picking costumes, and endless bandages wrapped around her feet, it has led to the final product: her first piece in her dance company’s annual recital premiering tonight.

All (y/n) could feel was pure energy and pride at what she has created. It’s her baby after all and nothing could ruin the day for her.

Feeling her joints start to loosen up, she runs through a mental list in her head making sure each dancer had their costumes, knew where all the dancers would start and end on stage, as well as remembering her own choreography, seeing as she had an important section to end her piece. After double-checking, (y/n) then begins to travel to the center of the studio, and begins to run over the piece.

Remember the triple pirouette here, before you end with a leap to fourth position. Finishing in the fourth position, she lets out a curse as she accidently stubs her right thumb toe, a small scab already tearing at the edge. Shaking out her pain, she reattempts the move, succeeding with an effortless bow.

“You know, your piece is going to be excellent. Why are you so worried?”, a voice calls out in the quiet studio, with (y/n) yelping and trying to find where the voice came from. Standing against the edge of the doorway stood Liam, her dance partner and best friend. (y/n) begins to chuckle and runs the piece over again.

“Can’t help but make sure it’s perfect. I have drenched all my blood, sweat and tears creating this dance, this- this masterpiece. It is my first, and most certainly not my last choreographing piece at this company. There’s too much riding on this for me.”, she replies.

“Even if so, I’d like to think you’ll be fine. Don’t stress, it’s amazing. Otherwise, how are you feeling?”

“Kind of excited, kind of feeling like I should run away.”, (y/n) replies. Avoiding to answering the question entirely, she begins to run the piece over again. She continues,

“I think regardless, it should be a great night. George is coming to the recital tonight and it’ll be the first time he’ll be seeing this dance.” With George editing and recording videos for the Dream Team, his Twitch channel, and YouTube channels, (y/n)’s barely seen him since the start of the dance season. The only time she’s been able to spend time with him has been going to bed with him - even if it’s been a bit more rare lately - and sometimes, a free day on a weekend with no dance practice or no recording for George.

“So that’s why you are nervous, how cute.”, Liam laughs, with (y/n) leaping over to Liam and swatting their arm lightly.

“He swore that he’d come tonight, and he knows how much time I’ve spent perfecting this. I just can’t imagine tonight going any other way. I made sure to get him a seat right in the front, so he’ll be able to see the whole performance, and me.”, (y/n) smirks. As soon as (y/n) found out she would be choreographing one of the pieces in the recital, she immediately told George her good news. George had told her she deserved it for working her butt off since the start of her being at the dance academy. Making him pinky swear, George swore that he would be there for her first performance with her also starring as a choreographer.

“So focus on that instead of thinking your piece is going to crash and burn! Relax a bit. We only have a bit of time before we start getting ready, so let’s run it over a few more times. And don’t even think about slacking off now, missy, we’ll stretch and go get ready after.” Liam decides, and she nods, thinking it’s probably for the best. Running to her bag, (y/n) sends a quick message to George.

George J: hey, can’t wait to see you tonight! i left your ticket on your nightstand, and remember to dress up slightly, it’s a dance recital after all ;) lub you xo - sent at 1:34 p.m.

Content with her message, she tosses her phone back into her bag, and heads back to run over the piece with Liam once more.

>>>

6:47 p.m.

Sticking the last bobby-pin to her bun, (y/n) glances in the mirror to make sure no mistake is in place. Eyeing her look, she can’t help but smile looking at her dance attire, admiring how her purple leotard and dress matches her eyeshadow. Paired with a dark nude lip, she smirks and turns to check her phone for any messages, hoping that one could be from George.

Out of the nine messages she received, most were from friends and family, wishing her luck on her performance tonight. She replied with a thanks and a heart emoji before finally reading the last message coming from George about two hours ago.

George J: hi darling, i saw the ticket, i am so excited for you! can’t wait for you to take my breath away, as you always do. love you more xo - sent at 4:48 p.m.

Smiling even wider, (y/n) puts her phone on silent, before walking towards the backstage area, passing dancers along the way. Grabbing their hands and wishing them good luck, she arrives at the destination, nerves buzzing as members of the audience start gathering at their seats. Deciding to take a peek, (y/n) rushes to the curtains, peeking her eyes out towards the front rows, trying to spot the pale boy who danced into her heart. First row, seat G for George, she giggles to herself.

“Trying to find your lover? I’m right here!” Liam asks, with (y/n) turning around.

“As much as I’d love that, I’m no Harry Styles, so I don’t think I’m your type…” (y/n) smirks.

“Hm. Where’s George, I want to see him!”

“I’m looking for him right now, Liam. Give me a second.”, (y/n) laughs as she turns back to the audience. Finding his seat, she subtly frowns seeing as he’s not in his seat yet. He’s probably in the bathroom, or still in line to get to his seat, (y/n) tries to explain to herself.

“He’s not here yet, I think he’s in the bathroom or something. But give him time, he’ll be here.” (y/n) mutters as Liam frowns at her.

“He better show up, it’s your night, (y/n).”, they grumble. They start to say more however-

“Places, everyone! Take your places! We’re starting at seven sharp!” the stage manager yells out. He continues,

“We start in five minutes!” Rushing to get off the stage, she sees dancers brush past another wishing them luck. As the ballet dancers start to move into their places for the intro piece, she then walks over to Liam, helping them set up the microphone as they begin to breathe slowly.

“Hey, you got this. It’s just reading off of cue cards and announcing pieces. And then you’ll be set for my piece. You’re going to do great, Liam.”, (y/n) tries to motivate, with Liam smiling shyly at her.

“And your piece is going to kick ass, (y/n). It’s perfection. Just wait until George sees you dance. I’m a hundred percent sure he’s going to fall for you even more.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll see…” (y/n) laughs. Liam clears their throat a bit before raising the microphone to their lips. (y/n) proceeds to head to the viewing room, where a broadcast of the show would play for other dancers to watch and support their fellow castmates.

Taking a deep breath, Liam starts to speak as (y/n)’s nerves start to palpitate.

“Hello, how are you this evening? And welcome to the 67th Annual Recital for the London Dance Academy! I am your emcee, Liam Barrings, and let me introduce you to the first dance of the night created by Sam Hastings. Here is Invictus!”

>>>

8:51 p.m.

An hour later, seven dances, and many whispered good jobs, it is finally time for (y/n) to step on stage and premiere her masterpiece. Slowly tip-toeing to her first position on stage, she glances at her castmates, thanking them silently in her mind for them to trust her to bring her visions to life. Before the curtains open, she turns to Liam on her right, kneeling down and grabbing her thighs, and they smile back at her.

“Ready for it?”, they smirk. Thinking to herself, she nods and turns back to the front of the curtains waiting for the music to begin. Remember the triple pirouette after Liam grabs you. And try to look like you’re in pain from loving him. It is exquisite pain, right (y/n)? Liam is toxic, yet you still love them. Make it believable. And finally, breathe.

Another emcee, Josh begins to speak.

“And now, I present to you (y/n - y/ln)’s dance. This is her first piece with her own choreography with the London Dance Academy, and tonight, we are the very first group of people to watch her story come to life. Please let me introduce you to (y/n) and her piece, La Douleur Exquise!” the audience claps softly, before the curtains open its wings to reveal the creation.

The background, a stark white, yet the lights casts hues of soft lilacs, with streaks of dark reds splattering across the dancers’ bodies. With a small pause, music begins to sing out of the speakers. Liam and (y/n) begin the piece with a small duet. Following closely behind, a quad of dancers mimicking their moves with childlike innocence.

Liam turns to (y/n), conveying an I love you through their linked hands and they abruptly pull her to their arms, as she looks at them with confusion in her eyes and pulling away. Gliding towards the middle, the quad walks slowly to (y/n), enveloping her with open arms, before having a dance section with (y/n) in the middle as Liam looks on, hellbent on grasping (y/n) once more. Every other beat, (y/n) turns to Liam, feeling lost as if they were missing from her.

As the quad looks away, having their own small solos, (y/n) slips away from the group only to leap back into Liam’s arms with her hands grasping their face as Liam slowly grips her waist. Looking at her with renewed interest, his face morphs into fury as one of the dancers pass by her, softly guiding his fingers from her shoulder down to her inner wrist. An angry duet starts, with Liam and (y/n) clashing against each other, as if saying they hate but love each other at the same time.

(y/n) leaps into Liam’s arms, before slowly sliding herself off him as the quad of dancers, follow closely behind, lifting (y/n) to her feet. Everyone proceeds to move as one, with the quad dancing in the center, whereas Liam paces their way to (y/n), lifting her into the air once again, before they land in a small leap. Conversing with their bodies, Liam guides (y/n)’s hands to their heart, slightly pulling her along. Finally coming to the end of the dance, (y/n) runs to the center of the stage, facing the audience.

Grabbing her left arm is Liam, pulling her to their side, and the quad of dancers are pulling her on her right. The war between the two goes back and forth in a tug-of-war before (y/n) seemingly gives up and slams herself to the ground, as the music fades into silence. The audience erupts into booming claps and cheers, and (y/n) feels herself being pulled up from the ground by Liam as a light blush covers her skin. Glancing up at the audience, she tries to smile despite the stage lights burning into her. I did it, I managed to make a story, my story come to life. Hearing the audience continuing to clap, realization sets in and she finds her eyes wandering over to the front row, seat G for George. Seat empty, her smile falters and her eyes become glassy. Some would think because of her success with her piece. She couldn’t tell if she was happy or sad, maybe it was a little bit of both.

>>>

9:23 p.m.

He’s here, he has to be. He’s probably peeing or waiting for me in the front with flowers, or in the dressing room. He has to be here, I know it, (y/n) mutters to herself, hellbent on her beliefs that George is here. Yet the bitter taste of rejection starts to seep into her bones. Shaking her head a bit and attempting to put on the brightest smile, she starts to rush back to the dressing room, a sinking feeling residing in her stomach with each looming step.

Facing the dressing room door, (y/n) can’t help but hope that maybe George is standing there with a bouquet of flowers and kisses reserved for her. Slowly opening the door, her hopes slip through with her mouth curling as she stares at only her reflection in the mirror. He swore that he’d be here. He swore that he would be here for my first performance, (y/n) softly whispers to herself, tears threatening to fall. Gasping, she finally lets herself breathe as she repeats to herself again and again that he wasn’t here.

A soft knock on the door interrupts her thoughts, causing (y/n) to quickly wipe her tears before foolishly yelling out,

“George?”, as the door opens to reveal Liam and the Director himself, Nicholas Anderson.

“(y/n)? It’s us. Where’s George?” Liam asks, a frown settling into his brows.

“Oh, he’s just in the bathroom, he hasn’t been feeling good.” She lies, feeling bile itch her throat. A little white lie shouldn’t hurt anyone, (y/n) thought.

“Hello, (y/n). You looked wonderful out there! Your dance was easily one of the highlights of the night, I couldn’t stop replaying the duet between you and Liam in my head. Your dance truly captured the aspects of a toxic relationship not from one side but from both of point of views. It truly showed exquisite pain, knowing that you would always go back to Liam, but would Liam be there for you?” Nicholas explains, his words smacking (y/n) at full force. Is- is George there for me?, (y/n) thinks to herself. Nicholas continues on,

“I think you are a great addition to our Academy, and tonight truly proved how ready you are to become a full-time member. So how about it? Next season, we’ll be adding you to the roster of choreographers.” Eyes wide, (y/n) nods furiously with a yes and hugs Liam. Nicholas smiles and exits the room, leaving behind two excited dancers jumping around.

“You did it! Now we have to celebrate! Club night, I don’t care. We are going to get plastered! Bring George!” Liam laughs. At the mention of George, her stomach turns as she then realizes George wasn’t here. What sounded like good news turns to rot as she starts thinking of George.

“Let me check my phone, it has been a while in the bathroom, huh?” (y/n) tries to joke, trying hard to not let her voice waver and letting her brain scramble to come up with another small lie. Reaching through her phone, she reads over the texts once again sent from family and friends, finding the conversation between her and George. No new messages, her heart sinks as she slowly starts to open up the rest of her notifications, scrolling to most likely find the purple box that would always stay permanently stuck on her home screen. With bright white letters glaring at her, her heart begins to ebb away feeling a familiar sense of loneliness.

1h, 53 min ago: MINECRAFT MANHUNT W/ THE DREAM TEAM

Relying on her emotions, she turns to face Liam, hoping that her excitement of her promotion would overcome the feeling of abandonment of the man she loved. Plastering a sad smile through watery eyes, she forces out,

“George isn’t feeling well, he’s got an upset stomach. I think it’s the stomach flu going around.” If you can convey pain through dance, you can lie through this as well, (y/n) thought. She continues,

“I don’t know if I should be going out since he’s sick.” (y/n) mutters.

“So we go without him! It’s your celebration, his loss.” Liam rolls their eyes. His loss, my loss - seems like the same.

“I- I don’t know, Liam… I’d want to celebrate with him as well.”

“And I get that, but at least go out with us. You always have tomorrow with him, or later tonight. Do it for tonight, do it because you’re going to be a choreographer next season! At least do it for me and the group. We’ve worked our ass all season and we made your vision come true.” Liam explains. Contemplating with herself, (y/n) resolves with a soft smile and mutters an okay. Pumping their fist in the air, Liam excuses themselves to notify the others of the good news and plans.

Once again facing the mirror, (y/n) repeats with determination to celebrate her night. It’s her night to celebrate with loved ones, even if the one she loved the most isn’t there beside her. So much trying to take your breath away when you weren’t even here, George. Taking a breath, she forces out a shaky laugh and tries to smile. Let’s go celebrate, (y/n).

>>>

1:39 a.m.

Slightly stumbling out of the taxi, (y/n) manages to slowly walk her way up to his doorsteps, phone still showing that George was still streaming. Pausing her hand on the doorknob, she resolves to try to wait until morning to confront him, not trusting herself completely to be okay in front of him. Opening the door softly, she walk in, attempting to not make a sound. With small steps, she closes and locks the door before setting her bags down. That can be cleaned tomorrow, (y/n) thought. Rubbing her eyes, she decides to make herself tea before she goes to bed, most likely not with George until he finishes his stream.

While making her tea, (y/n) thinks of everything that she has worked for in the last few months. Endless changes to her dance, countless small injuries, whether it be a jammed toe/finger, scrapes of blood scattered around her feet from dragging her feet too hard across the floor, everything. Why is it that with her triumph, she is beyond proud yet the idea of George not being there to witness her moment shatters that accomplishment? Mulling it over, she doesn’t notice George bustling down the stairs, finished with his successful 5 hour stream with Dream and Sapnap. Spotting (y/n) making her tea, he slowly approaches her and wraps his arms around her waist, landing a soft kiss to her shoulders.

“Why are you home late, Darling? It’s nearly almost two in the morning.”, George chuckles, as (y/n) freezes in his arms. Softly shaking her head, she tries to side-step out of his arms and brings her tea to the opposite side of the room, wrapping an arm around herself. Clearly, he didn’t remember, (y/n) slowly starts to think and repeat to herself.

“Why do you think I was out, George?” she softly asks, taking a sip of tea to calm her nerves. I guess we’re just going to have to hash it out now.

“I don’t know, but did you see the stream? I beat Dream at the last second and he was this close to defeating the Ender Dragon!”, George starts to explain while laughing, with (y/n) taking a harsh breath in. Pinching in-between her brows, she snaps,

“No, George, I didn’t see the stream because I went out to celebrate.”, she mutters, tears slowly starting to escape.

“(y/n)? Is there something wrong? Why are you crying?“ Turning around, (y/n) tries to look anywhere but him. She settles on looking at the clock, watching as time went by, and her nerves increasing with each second. George starts to say more-

“I needed you tonight. Do you remember what tonight was? To my career? To me?”, (y/n) cuts him off. Standing there without a thought, dread slowly seeps in as George realizes that he missed her performance. He starts to stutter,

“Darling, I- “

“No! No. You do not get to apologize. I needed you and where were you? Sitting on your ass playing Minecraft with Dream and Sapnap! I get that your career is very reliant on you being consistent with your uploads, but you couldn’t have taken a night off? For me? I- ”

“(y/n), it’s not like that at- “

“Don’t- just don’t try to explain or come up with excuses. I just don’t want to hear it George. I spent months working on this, exhausted yet still pushing myself for the damn Academy. You swore that you would be there. I left you the ticket on your nightstand, you even texted me saying that you were excited to come! So imagine me standing on stage, looking at the front row, seat G, and where the hell were you? Not there, George. You were not there. I looked like a fool waiting for you to see me perform and dance. Do you remember Nicholas Anderson?”, (y/n) tries to ask calmly. George only stare at her with defeated eyes as he shakes his head no. Cursing, she heaves out a breath before continuing,

“He’s the director of the Academy, George. He’s offered me a position to be a permanent member and choreographer for the London Dance Academy. So please, let me ask again: where were you? I had to lie to Liam and say that you had an upset stomach and that you couldn’t come out! So, Liam invited me to celebrate with the dancers, to celebrate tonight’s success.”

“(y/n)- (y/n), we can celebrate now. I know- I truly know I messed up, but I can fix it, we can celebrate right now!” George stumbles out, walking towards her to grab her hands. Stepping back, she glares at George, appalled that he truly thinks he could resolve this. Shaking her head harshly, she bites out,

“I don’t want to celebrate with you. I’ve already celebrated with loved ones.” Rolling his eyes, George tries to reason with (y/n).

“Okay, I get it. I’m the bad guy in this scenario. But I’m trying to make this right. I am so sorry, darling, but I want to make it up to you, you know I am sorry.”

“You know, I never ask you to cancel a stream or get off of the stream. I always try to understand for the life of me why the streams have to be long, but I try. I always watch your streams and interact with your fans for your sake. I’ve had to explain countless reasons as to why you never show up to my performances, or why you can’t go out with me with the other dancers. And I am okay with it, don’t get me wrong. I know how much Twitch and YouTube and the Dream Team means to you. But you mean everything to me as well. So forgive me if I wanted to be a little selfish and ask you to support me in one of the biggest performances of my life.”

“I can go to the next one, (y/n). It’s not like it’s the last performance.” George snaps.

“You don’t get it, do you?”, she asks, wiping furiously at her tears, trying to not stutter through her words.

“What is there to get? Clearly I’m trying my hardest to make it up to you.”, he replies.

“I love you. I’m so much in love with you, it hurts. But you don’t get it. I have been there for everything in your career. Your first hundred subscribers, your first million subscribers, when you won the MCC back to back, everything. This was- is the important night of my life, and you didn’t show up. You stuck with Dream and Sapnap and decided to stream instead. This night was important for my career, and you knew! I told you months and weeks in advance. I wanted you to take charge and clear your schedule for today and- and sit in the damn seat that I chose because G stood for George. It was for you.” She sobs out, chest shaking as she tries to collect the words tumbling out of her mouth. With eyes flashing in annoyance, George tries to speak over her tears,

“(y/n)- “

“I created this dance for you! For me and- and for us. Because we believed in each other and had the support for each other. Clearly, it was one-sided and tonight proved that.”

“(y/n), listen to me- ”, George stops himself. Watching (y/n) fall apart, he takes a shaky breath and tries to walk closer to (y/n). However, (y/n) takes more steps back, leaving a distance of hostility and guilt between the two lovers.

“I love you. I love you with all of my heart. And… and I know you love me. But I needed you. Do you even need me?” she asks, the thick silence covering the air.

“Yes! How- how could you even say that, (y/n)?“ George replies just as quick as she finished asking. Looking at him for the first time tonight, she lets out a sob. With cheeks red, hands tugging at his hair, and George frantically looking at her, (y/n) can’t help but cry a little more.

“Because tonight proved otherwise. I wanted a night of you to myself to watch me be pretty and dance, and you didn’t even give up one night for me.”, she says, tugging at her sweater. Looking up, she further goes on to say,

“How stupid would it be if I were to ask to choose between me or the Dream Team? Or- Or your career?”, barking out a bitter laugh as George stares with guilt. As silence meets her ears, (y/n) slowly starts to sober up, eyes slightly widening with shock.

“George…”

“I’d find a way to make it work, I’ve been making it work for us since the beginning!” George snaps.

“George, you know I would never ask that, because I personally think it’s a selfish question. But if I decided to ask seriously, right now. What’s your answer?”

“And I’m telling you, I am making both work. Please believe me, (y/n).”, George says quietly, grasping at whatever opportunities there are left to resolve this potentially fatal matter.

“I can’t tell anymore.”, her voice cracking as fresh tears pool down her cheeks.

“I don’t think I can stay here for a while. At least until I’ve had some time to think.”, she manages to force out.

“(y/n), you can’t be serious. No, we are fixing this now!” George tries to say with an unwavering voice, eyes slowly becoming glassy.

“I can’t look at you George without wanting to cry, and- and scream- yet tell you I love you, even if you don’t deserve my love, especially right now. I need to go- I’m going to go. I’ll be back in a while.”, (y/n) says, choking on her words. Walking backwards, she turns to the door, with George following her and watching her pick up her dance bags. Lying on the ground was a bouquet of flowers, crumpled amongst her heart. Choosing not to pick up the bouquet, she mumbles out,

“I’ll call you when I’m ready.” Pausing, (y/n) looks up at George for the final time tonight, willing herself to not run back to him, despite how much the desire is growing to do so.

“I love you, George.”, opening the door, George yells out,

“I love- “, the door cutting through his confession, acting as a wall between the two. George tries to reach the door knob, ready to run after the love of his life. Yet… he’s frozen on the spot, with tears finally trickling down his cheeks, and pushing deep breaths out to steady his shaking heart.

Why are you crying, George?

146 notes · View notes

sincerelynamkook · 3 years

Text

Hennessy (01)

Latina Y/N x Jungkook

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: alcohol/drunken behavior (drink responsibly friends), mentions of smoking, sexual tension

Word Count: 2.6k

Playlist: “Yo Perreo Sola” by Bad Bunny // “Frikitona” by Plan B // “Te Extrano” by Xtreme // “Imitadora” by Romeo Santos”

Series Masterlist

“You ready?” I roll my eyes with a pout instead of verbally answering my best friend’s question. I’m still lowkey butthurt she not only forced me to get up from my umpteenth day in bed, but also forced me to get dressed and put on makeup. I’m barely into my 30th day of getting over a breakup, I had plans to dive deep into the pits of my depression and despair for another month or two.

“Stop being a brat and get over it. It’s not like you were in love with the guy.” Britt sasses back.

“Maybe so. But I really gave that fucker 6 months of my life thinking he would eventually be the one only for him to go out and cheat on me...let me be depressed, damn bro.”

“Dude, c'mon. Tony said this would be the party of the year and you know how Latinos love to throw a party.” She grabs my hand and drags me up the driveway to the front door. I could hear the loud blast of Merengue music all the way from where we parked down the street. Serves us right for being 2 hours late to this damn party. But we were running on Latino time.

“Bitch did you forget I’m Latina?” I ask her. Of course I know what Latin parties are like.

“Really? You sure ain’t acting like the bad bitch Latina I know you are.”

“I-...whatever.” I mumble, not having a retort.

She giggles and opens the front door, coming fact to face with Jimin who has the brightest smile on his face. “Finally bitches! I’ve been waiting for y’all for over an hour.”

Music, laughter, singing, mixed with conversations from every direction bombard my ears. Jimin drags Britt and me to the back of the house, bee-lining straight to the kitchen counter that's covered in alcoholic beverages. He goes around to stand next to Tony who’s behind the counter, dressed in an all black fit, gold chain around his neck, nose pierced with a stud and a septum, and small black rectangular framed glasses perched on his nose.

“What, you on your Bad Bunny phase or something?” I ask him as Jimin hands me a cranberry vodka, knowing it’s my favorite drink.

With a smile, he sticks his tongue out and places his pinky fingers near his glasses doing the iconic Bad Bunny pose, “You already know babyyyy,” he says garnering a laugh from me. “I made sure to stock up on cranberry and vodka for you babe. Britt warned me so we on that ‘Bring Y/N back to life’ gang shit tonight.”

“Oh god,” I grimace. When Britt and Tony get together on their “missions” there is no hope for us. “Well you got food around here? I ain’t getting shitfaced on an empty stomach.”

“This ain’t the first time at the rodeo, Y/N.” Hoseok says as he appears behind Tony with a platter of appetizers on a plate for me. “We take care of our favorite girls around here, Y/N, c'mon now, especially when you're my girlfriend’s best friend” he winks at Britt and she giggles. Gross.

“My hero.” I respond sarcastically, inspecting the chips and guac. With a raise of a brow I ask, “This better be some legit guac boys, not that store bought kind y’all got that one time at Costco.”

“Omg get over it! I didn’t realize it was expired!” Jin yells from behind me. He gives Britt a kiss on the cheek before pinching my arm. I stick my tongue out before giving him a genuine smile. “I wasn’t even the one who bought it. It was Jimin!”

Jimin giggles, “Well that’s what y’all get for sending me grocery shopping when I’m hungover.”

“I was sick for days! I almost died!” I yell back. Not gona lie, this guac is hella good. “Dude, who made this guac. It’s legit, I’ll give you that.”

“I asked my sister to make some for us. She also made some tamales for you and Britt, you know she loves y'all more than me.” Tony says as he pours me another drink. Tears start to well in my eyes, food being the only thing that weakens my tough exterior.

“Tony...tell your sister to divorce Jackson and marry me. I’ll treat her better!” I exclaim making the group laugh.

“Y’all lets move this party to the den.” Hoseok says, grabbing Britt’s hand and leading us to the next room, away from the bigger crowd.

We each take our usual seats. Being a tight knit group since our college days, we have our traditions, one being movie night at Tony’s every weekend, thus leading us to have our own unofficial assigned seats.

The music can still be heard from the den, albeit not as loud as it was in the main rooms.

“So we getting Y/N shitfaced tonight right?” Jimin asks with a smirk in my direction.

“Hell yeah. I can’t believe you skipped out on movie nights this whole month.” Jin responds with a shake of his head. “I thought we were family.”

I roll my eyes at his dramatics. “Whatever. Y’all know how I get when I’m in my moods.”

Hoseok stands and comes around the couch to hug me from behind. “I know you’re not a hugger but accept this quick hug and let go of your sadness friend.”

I giggle and hold back my witty remark, knowing his heart is in the right place. “Thanks Hobi. Give me a few more drinks and I’ll be begging for your hugs.”

He jumps at that and runs to the kitchen yelling, “You don’t have to tell me twice!!” Brittany gets up and follows him, muttering something about going to make sure he doesn’t get dragged into dancing.

“But in all seriousness, Y/N, are you okay?” Jin asks next to me.

“Not gona lie, I’m hurt because y’all know how I feel about cheating. But it is what it is right?” I exhale and gulp down my third cup of cranberry vodka.

“You’ll be okay babe, c'mon lets go get more drinks.” Jimin takes my hands and drags me out the den, just as Yoongi and Joonie were walking into the den.

“Hey fuckers. I brought the Henny!” Yoongi announces with a smirk. At the sound of Henny I turn around and walk back into the den, grabbing the Hennessy bottle from Yoongi’s grasp and opening it to pour myself some shots.

“Oh so that’s what we doing huh?” He smirks and I just wink at him raising my shot glass at him.

“The night is young my friend.” I say as I raise up my second shot in a toast. Joon takes the bottle from me and pours me another one, clinking his own glass with mine.

“Let’s get this bread!” he says to which I grimace and retort back, “Grandpa, don’t ever say that again.” He chuckles with a roll of his eyes and downs his shot.

The heat from the alcohol going down my throat and coursing throughout my body has me removing my jacket. Jin whistles saying “aight mami, you sure you're getting over a break up?”

Giggling, I look over at him to see him checking me out. I’m donned in black ripped skinny jeans, black platform Jadon docs, and a green satin tank top; meaning my tattoo covered arm is out on display. “Boy please, be quiet before you get me in trouble with Tree. Where is she anyway?”

“She had to work tonight. She’s gonna come after her shift which should be soon.” He says checking the time on his phone.

Another shot is placed in my hand by Jimin, “bottoms up bitch!”

I down my shot just as I hear the sounds of “Yo Perreo Sola” by Bad Bunny start to play. “Oh shit! This my song!!!” I yell, clearly feeling the effect of the alcohol contents fueling my body. I grab Jimin’s hand and drag him over to the crowd dancing in the large living room.

Jimin positions himself behind me, holding my waist as we start to dance to the song. We grind up on each other, perreando like the song describes, screaming the chorus together with the crowd. I turn around to face him and push him backwards, ready to perrear sola. The other girls around me start to hype me up and start to grind against me. We put on quite the show but the crowd goes even wilder when the song switches to “Frikitona” by Plan B. Jin dances up next to me with Tree on his arm and hands me two more shots, “double fist time babyyy” he yells over the crowd. I take the shots all the while I’m dancing, I don’t even notice when the two empty glasses are replaced with new full ones by Jimin, knowing it's him with the pink hair on his head, but I down those two. I vaguely notice Hoseok and Brittany dancing not too far from me, practically making love on the dance floor. Wouldn’t surprise me if they disappeared upstairs real soon. The reggaetón bops keep going and Jimin and I keep dancing amidst the crowd. Whoever picked this mix deserves a reward because it got all the throwbacks. I smile big when I hear Don Omar’s “Dile.”

I’m sweating, pushing my hair back from my face every few seconds, regretting not bringing a scrunchie with me to put it in a bun. The reggaetón mix fades off into a bachata mix with “Te Extrano” by Xtreme being the first song to play. Not wanting to go back into my feels, I decide to take this time to grab water and sober a bit. Now that I’ve stopped dancing I realize just how drunk I really am. I lean against the counter and grab a cool water bottle from the cooler, snickering when I see Yoongi making out with some girl across the kitchen.

The bachata mix turns sensual, as “Sobredosis” by Romeo Santos starts to play. I sway softly in my spot against the counter, singing along to the song as I try hard to sober up.

I hear Tony yell a “Look who finally made it” and the crowd starts to shout their greetings at whoever just walked in. I turn around to see what the commotion is all about and see Jungkook walking in holding two bottles of Hennessy, one in each hand.

“What the fuck” I whisper softly, but not soft enough when I hear Taehyung reply, “yeah, he’s back.”

“Whoa when did you get here TaeTae? And when you say ‘he’s back’ you mean cause of summer break right?” I ask without turning back around to look at him, my attention at one man and one man only.

“I got here a while ago with Janet, we were outside smoking though.” Ahh that makes sense. “And no, he’s back for good. He graduated last week.” He says with a smirk in my direction.

My eyes go wide, muttering a soft, “fuck.” I turn around to face the kitchen, hands in my hair in exasperation. How did he graduate already? He’s like three years younger than me! I close my eyes and focus on doing the math only to realize that he in fact was graduating college this year. Shit.

Tae pats my back, “what’s got your panties in a twist love? It’s not like you fucked the guy on his 21st birthday and never spoke to him again even though he’s one of your best friend’s, Yoongi’s to be exact, younger brother.”

I open my eyes and face Tae. He yells an exaggerated ‘OW!” when I twist his nipple.

“Kim Taehyung what the fuck?! I told you never to mention that again.” I exhale and make the decision to continue my “getting shitfaced” mission. Pouring a line of shots, I start to take them one after the other until Tae decides to take the last 3 himself earning a “fuck you” from me.

I lean against the counter, facing the living room only to see Jungkook walking towards me. I roll my eyes at him when I see his smirk directed at me. He walks up next to me and opens the bottle of Hennessy, not saying a word. Taehyung chuckles and leaves with a “have fun lovebirds.” Jungkook pours two shots and hands me one. But he doesn’t just give it to me like any decent person would, no way, he has the audacity to bring the shot glass to my lips , softly nudging my lips open with it to make me drink. Not one to back down from a challenge, I hold his hand holding the shot glass against me and throw my head back to down it. His big brown eyes, those that were so full of innocence, are now full of lust and focused on my lips. I don’t miss the way they subtly move down to look at my neck when I swallow the alcohol, or the way his hand still near my lips slightly twitches when my tongue flicks out to lick my bottom lip, making sure I take every drop of alcohol he gave me.

He leans closer to me, his scent which now surrounds me making me even drunker. My hands go up to his chest instinctively, as if I had the willpower to actually shove him away. I could feel his heart beating faster against my hands, his pecks feeling tight...woah when did that happen?

I feel, rather than see, his face lean closer to my ear where he softly whispers, “wana show me what else you can swallow?” His deep melodic voice has me closing my eyes and gulping in a millisecond, feeling a rush of wetness pool at my core.

I open my eyes, reminding myself who I’m talking to and laugh the nerves away. I shove him back, needing some room to breathe and he chuckles at my antics.

The playlist starts to play “Imitadora” by Romeo Santos and I can feel a change in the atmosphere. Jungkook takes a step closer to me, arm going around me to softly push me against him. He leans close to my ear again to whisper “dance with me” but I’m too high off his scent and to the beat of his heart that’s vibrating against where my hands rest on his chest to answer. He takes it as a yes and walks us backwards to the center of the makeshift dance floor.

I bring myself back to the present and raise an eyebrow at him, “You sure you can keep up Korean boy?” I feel his chest softly vibrate from his chuckle.

“I have a few tricks up my sleeve preciosa” he answers with a smirk as he twirls me around. I swoon at his honey like voice calling me “preciosa,” with the subtle hint of his accent. But I feel my pussy clench when he dances bachata like a Latin born man.

My heart feels like it’s about to burst out of my chest when he starts singing the chorus of the song in perfect Spanish close to my ear. Hitting every note like if he was Romeo Santos.

He must've heard my swift intake of breath by the way he smiles. A smile I feel on my neck as he leans even closer to me to drop a kiss at my nape, sealing it with a lick.

The song comes to an end, quickly transitioning to a more up tempo bachata song. Jungkook drops another kiss on my neck and whispers “wana see what other tricks I got?”

93 notes · View notes

sneezefiction · 4 years

Text

roadtrips & camping

Tendou, Tsukishima, and Asahi x Reader - Roadtrip & Camping Headcanons

request: “Could I request going on a road trip and camping with tendou please? Maybe also tsukki and Asahi if you’re down for that”

a/n: haven’t written for Tendou or Asahi before, but oh i love them so. this might b one of my favorite headcanons :,,,D thank you for the request!

warnings: none!

total wc: 950

---

Tendou:

if anyone is the perfect roadtrip companion, it’s Tendou

you’ll both take the drive in shifts, but you actually don’t mind driving a majority of the trip because he is SO entertaining and will be sure to keep you wide awake

one moment he’s singing out the car window, his red hair lit up by the sunset and 5 minutes later he’s asking you about your favorite food and searching for a restaurant that serves it

oh, and when it comes to music, you best believe it will be loud

you and Tendou prepped a road trip playlist so far in advance that there are over 30 hours of music on it (and it’ll keep growing throughout the trip bc you’ll be vibin so hard)

he’ll dance. a lot

you’ll both be equally as excited to check out random shiny objects, old & dusty towns, and to just hike or walk around parks and cities

Tendou’s energy is infectious. you’ll be grinning ear to ear for miles

but when you stop for the evening (each night at different campgrounds), you’ll have to keep him focused on the little tasks

he’d much rather explore the camp and show you weird bugs than set up tents and cook dinner, but you promise you’ll venture out with him after the camp is set

once everything is put together, he’ll entwine his hand with yours, drawing you toward the woods at twilight

you’ll both be huddled together near a stream, the running water calming your restlessness from being cooped up in a car all day

he’ll love the way the final minutes of sunlight stream onto your skin and he’ll pepper your face with smiling kisses

Tendou isn’t one for tradition, but because he loves you and this trip so much, it’ll become a summer ritual

Tsukishima:

okay just because Tsukishima likes to be all sour and mean doesn’t mean he hates having fun

it just means he enjoys things… differently

when you first suggest a road trip he’ll probably be like,

“Oh, yes, death by my obnoxious s/o. Perfect.”

but when you let him pick the destinations and promise to be super sweet the whole time, he can’t say no

i think Tsukki will be particularly infatuated by rolling hills or towering cliffs

he’ll want to go somewhere with big canyons and lots of history and you completely oblige because seeing him remotely interested in something is big news

he’ll want to drive a majority of the time since y’all are taking his car, but he’ll let you do the navigating and DJ work

but he’s one of those “My car, my music” guys lmao

luckily, you’re used to sharing earbuds with him at school and have several music artists in common (you’ll already have several collaborative playlists to choose from for the trip)

when it comes to long drives, y’all actually share in some super personal discussions

if Tsukki is tired enough or if it feels a little too quiet, he’ll just start speaking, not realizing he’s letting you in on parts of his past. car therapy sessions ftw

he’s not big on camping, so y’all actually collapse the seats in the back of his car and lay out pillows, sleeping bags, and blankets

Tsukki won’t admit it, but he genuinely likes camping out in the car w/ you

he’ll spoon you, holding your head against his chest with one hand and wrapping his arm around your waist

if you can handle it, Tsukishima will tell you creepy stories and when a particularly eerie part comes along, he’ll blow on your neck, making you shiver and fuss at him

but you know you both love it

Asahi:

this teddy bear of a human would actually be the one to suggest a road trip!!

he’d have all the gear, snacks, maps, and extras put together, packed neatly in the back of the car all ready to go

Asahi will pull up to your house and have sodas and coffee and chips, but you’ll both eat half of the supply before getting even a few hours out

this big guy may be timid, but not when it comes to animals and nature

he’ll want to visit any wildlife reserves, big zoos, and stop to take photos of deer and animals he isn’t used to seeing

Asahi also has bikes hitched up on the back of the car, so you guys are definitely going on bike trails throughout the trip

sunscreen is a MUST and he begs you to use it throughout the trip

he definitely wears a bandana whenever y’all roll the windows down to keep his hair out of his face don’t @ me for this, i feel it in my bones

surprise, surprise! your final destination is a beach front camp site !!

y’all arrive around sunset and the ocean is reflecting a sparkling, orangey-pink hue

if you lift your arms out to the side to feel the ocean breeze, i am 99% sure Asahi will wrap his arms around you like the “I’m flying, Jack!” scene from Titanic

after the tents are set up, you both walk the beach for hours

imagine this with me: kicking salty water at each other, contagious fits of laughter, and wrapping your arms around the back of his neck, giving him adoring kisses

at night, you both lay underneath the stars, listening to the ocean waves crash

he’ll point at the sky and ask you which star you think is his favorite

you guess a few times, but eventually give up

then he’ll point to you and say, “Out of all of them, you’re my favorite.”

hella cheesy, but we love him for it

btw he’ll secretly save the most beautiful seashells he found from the beach and give them to you as presents when you get home

so precious

---

tags: @cherryonigiri

310 notes · View notes

captain-josslett · 3 years

Text

Broken Melody - Part Three

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven,

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 4.2k+

Warnings: Feels! I definitely got feels writing this!

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor (Eventual), Alex Danvers x Kelly OlsenIn

This Part: It’s the Christmas concert!

As always B!D is named.

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated.

Taglist: @thewitchandtheassassin , @natasha-danvers , @life-is-hella-unfair , @finleyfray, @supergirl-writingz

Emma Danvers paces back and forth backstage. Her blonde, wavy hair was down with loads of volume. Her long, glittery, white gold dress swishing against the floor as she paced. Emma was slightly worried about the very deep plunging neckline but her stylist managed to find material that matched her skin tone to accomplish the allusion. They understood why Emma didn’t want to show lots of skin, especially as kids were watching. But they believe that if you’ve got it, flaunt it. And Emma definitely had it.

Emma takes a deep breath as she can hear the audience beginning to enter the huge theatre and her nerves start shooting all over the place. The rehearsals have gone the best they could with only five days to practice. But, Emma still worries she could have done more.

“There you are!” Emma turns around and smiles at Karen, the choir leader and director. A grey haired, black woman, who was ready to put Emma in her place if she became a diva. But to her surprise, Emma Danvers is anything but. “Everyone is in the rehearsal room. Do you want to warm up with us?”

“I’d love to!” Emma says eagerly and follows Karen, placing a hand on her shoulder. “How is everyone feeling?”

“Nervous, excited, scared, joyful, wanting to throw up every minute!” Karen laughs loudly and Emma smiles as she hears the choir’s nervous chatter inside the rehearsal room.

“Basically how I’m feeling all in one!” Emma jokes as they stand outside the door.

“Ready?” Karen asks.

“You bet.” Emma nods and Karen opens the door to thunderous applause. Emma goes in after her and joins the cheering and foot stamping. After a few minutes of getting everyone pumped Karen holds up her hands and instantly everyone quietens down. They do fifteen of vocal and physical warm ups and Emma can’t help but feel a bit sad at knowing after the concert she won’t be working with the choir again. Not until her new album at least. Having already planned some songs she could do with the choir.

“Fifteen minutes everyone!” The stage manager calls from the door.

Nerves instantly flood Emma again and she bites the inside of her lip. She watches Karen hold up her hands and the excited chatter dies down.

‘She holds such power and authority!’ Emma thinks admiringly.

“I’m not going to say much. Just that I am very proud of each and every one of you. Your commitment over the past few days has been phenomenal-”

Emma nods and claps her hands lightly around the group. Many make eye contact with her and smile brightly.

“- and all I ask is that you enjoy yourselves out there tonight. Sing your hearts out and let’s show the world what Kingdom Choir can do!”

Everyone applauds and Karen looks to Emma, tilting her head asking if she wants to say something. Emma smiles and nods. Karen lifts her hands again and everyone stands to attention.

“I just wanted to say a huge, big, thank you to all of you. When I was told that the previous act had pulled out, you guys instantly came to my mind and I’m so glad Karen said yes!” Emma reaches out and places a hand on Karen’s shoulder. Who covers Emma’s hand with her own.

“Now, I know some of y’all were a bit sceptical when y’all heard y’all’d be singing with me.” Emma puts on an over the top country twang, causing a few giggles and agreements. She switches back to her normal voice. “But thank you for giving me the chance to show you what I can do. This has truly been a wonderful experience and I’m going to really treasure it as I move into the next part of this journey.” Emma smiles around at the group before continuing.

“The profits from the seats and those paying to view this online have gone way past the expectation. Meaning even more money towards the equipment needed for the children’s hospital and really that is the main reason we are here. To help those in need, to show compassion and to hold out a hand. So, as Karen has said, just sing your hearts out.” The group applaud loudly and stomp their feet, ready to go out onto the stage and give the performance of their lives.

Emma turns and leads the group out. She plays with her hands as she mentally prepares herself to become Emma the singer.

“Here you are!” A sound technician hands Emma her microphone. The curtain was still down and would be raised as the show begins.

“Thanks.” Emma waits by the wings and lets Karen and the choir go past her. She holds out her right hand and everyone high fives her as they get onto the stage.

The announcement comes over the speakers that the show is about to begin. The crowd cheers and Emma takes a deep breath as she steps onto the stage. She looks at the amazing decorations, a huge, decorated Christmas tree stands at the other end of the stage. Fairy lights are everywhere giving the huge stage a cosy and warm feel. She looks at the orchestra and the choir, giving them encouraging smiles. The countdown begins and the crowd joins in. Finally it reaches zero and the curtain slowly rises up.

‘Here we go!’ Emma thinks as ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ starts playing.

-- -- --

Kara can’t help but bounce up and down in excitement as the Superfriends wait for the concert to start. The atmosphere in the theatre is electric and buzzing. They are sitting near the front in the middle of the huge theatre.

“Kara!” Alex whispers to her sister. “Can you please stop bouncing?!”

Kara immediately stops and looks apologetically at the redhead. “Sorry Alex! I’m just so excited!”

“So am I! But you don’t see me bouncing up and down like a jack in the box!” Alex laughs and shakes her head.

“Kara?” Eliza says next to Lena, who is sitting next to Kara. Lena had offered to swap with Eliza so she could sit next to Kara, but Eliza refused. Stating she was happy where she is. Kara whips her head round to her adopted mother. “Have you remembered to put the dampers on?” Eliza says quietly, not wanting to be overhead. Kara nods and shows the light on the frame of her glasses. When it became clear Emma was going to be in a loud band, Eliza and Alex had worked on equipment for Kara to drown out a lot of the noise that would overwhelm her. That’s if Kara remembered to turn them on. At many gigs Alex would have to engage the device when she saw Kara flinching from over exposure.

Eliza smiles at her daughter and goes back to reading the programme. “I still can’t believe Emma managed to sort this out in so little time!” Eliza says to no one in particular. She wasn’t meant to be in National City for another few days but due to Emma performing she decided to change her plans and come a few days early.

Lena looks down at her own programme, the choice of songs showing a wide variety of hymns and modern songs. “Knowing Emma though, she can do anything she puts her mind to.”

“That is true.” Eliza smiles at the CEO. “Thank you for giving Emma this opportunity. She was so excited when she called about it.”

“I’m the one that should be thanking her!” Lena smiles brightly. “I still can’t believe the amount of people outside trying to buy tickets off us!”

“Yea!” Sam agrees next to Ruby, who is sat next to Eliza. “I had one guy offer me $10,000 for Ruby and my ticket!”

“$10,000?” Kara yells with wide eyes.

“Yea! Mom almost took it too!” Ruby grins as Sam playfully nudges her daughter. But before Sam can comment she’s interrupted by a voice over the speakers.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! The concert is about to start-” Kara cheers loudly along with most of the theatre. Lena claps and beams with her.

The twenty second countdown begins and all the Superfriends join in. Lena can practically feel herself vibrating with anticipation. As zero is displayed the curtain slowly ascends and Emma appears. Lena’s breath is immediately stolen as she takes her in. Her eyes roaming over the shiny, white gold ball gown.

“She looks so beautiful!” Kara whispers in Lena’s ear, who nods in agreement.

The song starts and Emma lifts the microphone to her lips.

I don’t want a lot for Christmas.

Whoops and cheers sound from the crowd as Emma’s strong, velvet voice sings out.

Pride fills the Superfriends immediately and Alex can’t help but tear up. Kara reaches down and takes a hold of her hand. They smile at each other and focus on their sister.

As the tempo picks up Emma and the choir start dancing. Everyone in the audience gets onto their feet clapping and dancing along.

Lena is blown away by Emma’s performance. How she seems to include everyone in the audience, from those right at the front to those in the balcony seats looking down.

Cause baby all I want for Christmas is You!

The crowd cheers when Emma hits the high note and continues to improvise with the choir.

-- -- --

All I want for Christmas.

As Emma finishes the last notes of the song the audience roars in applause. Emma bows her head for a moment in acknowledgement. Raising her head she puts the microphone to her lips.

“Thank you!” She says gratefully and the audience still cheers. “Thank you!” Emma can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the love she is receiving. She looks all around the theatre and to those in the ‘god seats’ high above her. “Thank you so much! Please take your seats.”

She walks to the grand piano and takes a sip of her water hidden from view. “Well, that went well.” Emma says into the microphone, causing the audience to laugh. “I must say you are all in fine voice tonight!” A few cheers call out. Emma swears she hears her sisters among them. “But, before we do any more songs, please put your hands together for Kingdom Choir and the wonderful National City orchestra!”

Emma turns to them and applauds. Careful not to whack her microphone. Not wanting to annoy the sound technician.

“Seriously these guys are superheroes. As you know, we haven’t had long to prepare this and the level of commitment and energy these guys have… It’s just been amazing.” Taking another sip of her water she places it back in its hiding spot and walks back to the centre of the stage.

“So, ready for another song?”

“YES!” The audience cheer loudly.

Emma nods at the conductor and the first notes of ‘O Holy Night’ start playing.

-- -- --

Lena is sure she is going to have goosebumps permanently on her skin for the rest of her life. The level of passion and power in Emma’s voice is breathtaking. Throughout the song it feels like a warmth Lena can’t describe fills the theatre. As if heaven had entered and the angels were singing along. Lena’s vision blurs and she blinks in surprise. Tears fall down her cheeks and she wipes them away with her finger. She sees Kara look over at her and they smile softly at each other. Kara wraps an arm around her best friend and they continue watching Emma.

As the song closes the applause is again deafening. Lena stands to her feet immediately, still wiping tears from her face.

“Thank you.” Emma’s voice is barely heard over the roar of the crowd. After a few minutes she motions with her hands for the audience to sit. Finally they do and Emma’s eyes lock with Lena’s for a moment and Lena gives her a tearful smile. Emma returns it, also focusing on her Mom, sisters and friends before looking around the theatre. “How about another fast one?”

-- -- --

The next few songs has everyone dancing on their feet and Emma dances along with them. Not wanting tonight to end.

“Wooo! Now that… That was fun!” Emma breathes out, trying to catch her breath. She laughs as the choir calls out in agreement. “Can you believe we are over halfway in our evening together?!”

“Noooo!!!” Emma laughs as she hears Kara yell loudly.

“But, if I may-” Emma takes another quick sip before putting the water down. “We all know why we are here tonight.” She walks slowly back to the centre of the stage. You could hear a pin drop. The theatre is so quiet as they watch her. “To support the utterly commendable work done at The Luthor Children’s Hospital. Now even though most of us haven’t used the service, and God forbid if you even need to. But, we all know the importance of our health and for our hospitals to have the best equipment and staff to continue serving our city.”

“I’ve gone to the hospital many times to visit the kids. Especially those who used their Make A Wish to meet me.” Emma smiles sadly, always remembering the little faces of joy as she’d enter the room. “And in the hospital, they have a wall, a special, in memoriam wall.” Taking a deep breath Emma swallows the emotion threatening to spill out. The amount of pictures she saw as she took the time to look over them. Such young children, taken far too soon.

“I’m reminded of the cold hard truth, that we don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring. That we lose those we love along the way.” Emma takes another deep breath and looks up at the ceiling above her. Remembering her Dad. The one she remembers before he was taken and changed. The one she grieves. “And yes, Christmas is a joyous time, to celebrate and remember. But, if I may, I’d like to pay tribute to those no longer with us.”

Softly the piano starts playing and Emma pulls herself together to sing the song. On the screen behind her photos of the departed, sent in by the public, is shown.

The fire is burning, the room's all aglow Outside the December wind blows Away in the distance The carollers sing in the snow.

The audience stays quiet as Emma gently sings.

She can’t help but remember the last Christmas with her Dad. How they played in the snow with her sisters and sat around a roaring fire once they changed out of their wet clothes. The feeling of sitting on her Dad’s lap and have him wrap his big arms around her.

Everybody's laughing The world is celebrating And everyone's so happy Except for me tonight.

Emma uses more of her support to increase the volume in her voice for the chorus. She tries to keep her eyes off the monitors showing the pictures of peoples loved ones.

Because I miss you most at Christmas time And I can't get you, get you off my mind Every other season comes along and I'm all right But then I miss you, most at Christmas time.

She makes it through the next few verses and chorus but feels she’s starting to break near the bridge. Knowing the next set of photos are of Jeremiah and her family. She had asked her Mom and sisters if it would be okay and they readily agreed. But, now Emma isn’t sure if it was the best idea.

In the springtime those memories start to fade with the April rain

A picture of a child Emma on top of Jeremiah’s shoulders is shown when they went on a long hike. A young Alex and Kara are standing either side of Jeremiah, they are all smiling brightly at the camera.

Through the summer days till autumn's leaves are gone

Another photo comes on showing Emma and Jeremiah asleep on the sofa. Emma is resting against her Dad’s chest and he has his arms around her.

I get by without you till the snow begins to fall.

The last picture of Emma and Jeremiah flash up, showing the family's last Christmas together. One where they are all sat around the table having their Christmas meal.

Emma closes her eyes for a moment, remembering that last Christmas so clearly. How she always struggled with Christmases after that. They were never the same.

When she opens her eyes to sing the last chorus tears stream down her face. Her voice cracks but she pushes through.

And then I miss you most at Christmas time And I can't get you, no, no, no, get you off my mind Every other season comes along and I'm all right

Emotion overtake Emma and a sob escapes her lips. She lowers the microphone slightly and drops her head. The orchestra pauses. A few people in the crowd cheer in support of Emma. Who takes a shuddering breath and lifts her head and microphone. Eyes full of tears.

But then I miss you, most at Christmas time.

When the piano finishes the last chords, Karen and a few other choir members race up to Emma and hold her in a group hug. The audience raises the roof in their cheers and there isn’t a dry eye to be seen.

Alex, Kara, Lena and Eliza also get into a group hug. Lena tries not to feel awkward in how she’s imposing on this family moment. But she had no choice when both blonde’s beside her pulled her into it. She keeps her eyes on Emma who is trying to compose herself. She watches as Karen places Emma’s face in her hands and gently wipes the tears away. Obviously saying something encouraging to the blonde who nods and smiles sadly.

Soon Karen and the choir members get back into position and Emma takes a deep breath. “Who's ready for some more dancing?”

The audience cheers and gets to their feet as ‘Underneath The Tree’ begins.

-- -- --

When the final note of the upbeat version of ‘Joy To The World’ finishes Emma curtsies low at the applauding crowd. She can’t quite believe the concert is over as it all feels like a blur now. Confetti shoots into the air and the audience whoop. Emma rises and holds her hand out to the orchestra who keeps playing the upbeat melody. The audience cheers and the conductor bows. Emma next holds her hand out to the light and sound technicians at the back. Finally she holds her hand out to the choir behind her and the rush towards her. Gathering round her and dancing to the beat. They all wave when the curtain starts to descend, cheering and clapping with all their might.

When the curtain stops moving, separating the audience from the stage, Emma takes a deep breath.

“Well done Emma.” Karen pulls her into a tight hug. “That went better then we rehearsed!”

“Always the way!” Emma laughs and Karen nods in agreement. They pull apart but Karen keeps her face near Emma’s ear to talk to her. The choir still cheering and clapping with the orchestra.

“What are your plans? We are thinking of going to a local bar.”

“Ah I have plans with my sisters and friends.”

“No worries, it was a last minute thing anyway.” Karen smiles at her before turning to her group and dances with them.

Emma watches them for a moment before heading to her dressing room. Her whole body is buzzing with adrenaline, which she knows won’t last forever. And when she crashes she wants to be sat on a sofa with a pizza on her lap.

But it takes her a while to get to said dressing room as many people backstage congratulate her. She thanks them and breathes a sigh of relief when she can close the door behind her.

She grabs her phone and smiles at the many messages from the Superfriends. Mainly from Kara who sends a load of different emojis to express how she’s feeling. She sees the message from her Mom saying she will see her tomorrow as she’s heading back to the hotel to rest. Emma sends her a quick response of understanding before opening the Superfriend’s group chat.

Emma: Thanks everyone! I’ll see you at Kara’s soon! Please order the pizza as I’m starving!

Alex: Do you want us to wait for you?

Emma: No you go on ahead. I won’t be long.

Emma quickly changes into her skinny jeans, tank top and red leather jacket, not bothering to take her makeup off yet. She packs her bags and zips the beautiful dress in its cover. Emma places it on the clothes rail outside her dressing room. She passes the rehearsal room and pokes her head in saying bye to Karen and the choir.

Exiting through the stage door into the garage Emma is surprised to see someone stood by the bug. She quickly approaches and smiles when she sees who it is. “Lena?”

The raven haired beauty looks up from her phone and the smile she gives Emma makes the blonde go weak at the knees.

“Hi.” Lena says softly before pulling Emma into a hug. “You… Em… I don’t have any words for how amazing you were tonight.”

“Thanks Lee.” Emma says gently. She pulls back and places a kiss on Lena’s forehead. “Ready to go?” Emma asks as she unlocks the bug. Lena nods and makes her way over to the passenger side.

The drive to Kara’s was quick as most of the traffic from the theatre had already gone. A few fans were still hanging out on the street and cheered as Emma drove past. She waved at them and smiled while still paying attention to the road.

As they enter Kara’s building Emma can feel the adrenaline starting to wear off. “Why does Kara not have an elevator again?” Emma complains to herself as her movements noticeably slows.

Lena pokes her head around the corner having gone on ahead and heard Emma grumble. “Are you okay?”

“Yea, just starting to feel it.” Emma grabs onto either side of the railings and hurls her body up the stairs. Loud footsteps coming from above make her look up. Suddenly Kara and Alex are standing at the top of the flight of stairs. Lena smiles at them and continues past them, walking up to Kara’s floor.

“Need a hand?” Alex smiles down at her sister.

“No. I can-” Emma takes a step but falters. “Please.” Emma sighs out.

Both sisters race down to her and take an arm each.

“If you ever move can you please get a place with an elevator?” Emma breathes out as they walk together up the stairs.

“No promises little one!” Kara sings out and laughs as Emma huffs.

“Anyway, you are young, fit and healthy!” Alex teases, poking Emma in the side, causing the blonde to squeal and slap Alex’s hand away.

“Normally yes, but when you perform for almost two hours sometimes your body decides to do other things.” Emma grumbles.

Eventually they reach the top of the stairs, Alex lets go and heads to the apartment door.

Emma rests her head on Kara’s shoulder as they walk the short distance towards their eldest sister. Alex smiles at them and pushes the door open.

Applause greets Emma as she steps through and she feels her cheeks heating up in a blush. She smiles shyly and accepts the hugs from the Superfriends.

Finally Emma sits down on the sofa next to Lena and Sam. Pizza is laid out on the coffee table and Emma is given the honours of choosing first.

When everyone has chosen and has settled, Kara clears her throat. “As with tradition after one of Emma’s gigs.” Kara starts speaking and Emma stops chewing, frowning at what her sister is about to do. “Alex and I always talk about our favourite parts.” She smiles brightly at her sisters. “So, I will go first. My favourite bit was during ‘Hark! The Herald Angels Sing’ and you added in the ‘Gloria’ part and the organ came in. Literally the hairs on my arms, well, all over my body, stood on end!” All the Superfriends nod. “Oh and when you had members of the choir throw chocolate and candy into the audience during ‘Joy To The World’.”

“Of course you would choose that Kara.” Alex says sat on the floor, rolling her eyes.

“Well, what's yours?” Kara laughs.

Sighing heavily Alex looks down at her pizza.

“Alex?” Emma tilts her head. Knowing what Alex must be thinking.

“My favourite bit was… when you sang for Dad.” Alex swallows and bites her lip. “It hurt but... it was such a wonderful tribute.” Tears fill Alex’s eyes and she looks away embarrassed.

Emma places her plate on the table and quickly makes her way over to her eldest sister. She kneels on the floor and engulfs Alex in a hug. The redhead sighs happily and buries her head into Emma’s neck.

When they pull apart Emma stays sitting beside Alex. She reaches out for her plate and rests her head on Alex’s shoulder as she continues to eat.

“That was one of my favourite moments too.” Sam speaks out. “The way you sang it was next level. I can’t explain it. Like you poured your very soul into it.”

“Thanks Sam.” Emma smiles at the brunette and continues to listen to the Superfriends feedback. Soon they move onto sharing their past Christmas memories. But Emma's eyes start to get more and more heavy and she can’t help but close them as she still leans against her older sister.

Feeling happy and content with how well the concert went she drifts off into a peaceful nap.

(Part Four)

#supergirl #supergirl tv #supergirl imagine #supergirl fanfic #supergirl baby danvers #lena luthor x baby danvers #supergirl fanfiction #alex danvers x baby danvers #kara danvers x baby danvers #lena luthor imagine #alex danvers imagine #kara danvers imagine #b!d #baby danvers

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royallyprincesslilly · 4 years

Text

Title: Love, Maybe? {33}**

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Plot, Fluff, Angst, NSFW 😁

Word Count: 10.3K 😳

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Y’all said 10.3K was not a problem. Prove it, let’s see how many of y’all read it all. LOL. Hope you guys like it, you deserve it. 🙃😏

Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

***Interactive***

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 33: Ready?

-Vixen-

“Hello, earth to Vixen!”

You shook your head and noticed your friends and Nexus staring at you. You’d zoned out—again. You’d lost track of how many times your mind drifted.

“Hey, yeah.”

“Hey, yeah? What the hell was that? where were you just now?”

You shook your head and rubbed your forehead. “It was nothing. where were we?”

They looked at you as if you’d grown a second head. “We were talking about how fine your baby daddy is,” Angie blurted out.

“Oh boy, here we go.”

“Yes, here we go. To think your disappearance act that night in Vegas was more than you being a workaholic choosing work over fun. You were off getting your back blow—wait, can he blow backs? He is white.” They all laughed, and you took the opportunity to take a long sip of your half and half iced tea lemonade. You really didn’t want to divulge any details about your sex life. You almost laughed because it had been years since you’d gotten any sort of blowing out of your back.

“You’re quiet. Oh my god, white boy can lay pipe Vixen?” Jia’s tone was full of shock, and it matched the bugged-out eyes of all your friends.

“Why do you look so surprised? Have you guys heard the rumors about him over the years? I can pull them up right now,” Drea added as she took up her phone and scrolled.

You were suddenly filled with dread as well as a strange level of curiosity. Over the years, you purposely stayed away from a lot of fodder that surrounded him. You couldn’t stay away from the movies and everything about that part of it, but anything personal you kept away from like the plague.

“Okay, so for the last threeish years, he’s been a little quiet, but there have been girls. Jessie that was a fling that lasted a few months, but she told anyone that would listen about him being her ideal guy. She even talked about the sex said he was the best she’d ever had. Sarah, not much info on that one, but she’s pretty. There are rumors about a string of flings that he’s kept pretty low key, and one named Lita, they had been together most recent a few weeks ago,” she finished.

“Wow, he’s a whore.”

“Every saint had a past, and every sinner has a future. I don’t think we should judge him based on tabloid fodder,” Nexus voiced. She looked at you, giving you a stern eye that said ignore it.

“Saint, sinner, doesn’t matter to me. I am just trying to get some deets on how Captain America’s stroke game is,” Angie clarified.

“Guys. It was years ago, who remembers that far back?”

“If it were good dick, I’d remember it on my death bed and tell all you hoes about it,” Drea chimed.

You shook your head and looked around the restaurant you were at. It screamed authentic Boston. It screamed lowkey but didn’t gimp on modern luxuries. The wooden tables looked like fine red cedar; the glass top roof gave the space an airy and warm glow thanks to the afternoon sun, and the scattered potted plants gave the restaurant great pops of color. Looking around at the faces of the diners you could tell they were enjoying the food as well as the ambiance of the place and that made you like it even more.

“Vixen!”

You looked at them. You’d once again drifted off. Only this time, it wasn’t to thoughts of Chris it was to thoughts of a restaurateur. If it wasn’t one, it was the other.

“Sorry I got lost. This place is great.”

“Could you stay present and not drift off to work land?” You rolled your eyes at Joan. She should have been the one to get it; she was the one who’d gone to culinary school with you. She did the same thing all the time. That was one of the reasons you got along well; she knew what you were going through.

“I would stay present if you all weren’t so damn nosy about what kind of dick game my kid’s father has,” you blurted out, the stress of everything was compressing on you.

“Let’s get off the topic of dick,” Nexus suggested.

“We will, she just has to admit one thing,” Angie began.

“What Ang?”

“You know and remember what kind of dick game he has.” You smiled though you tried not to. This wasn’t a smiling matter. You’d always worried about the day they found out who Ella’s dad was. You worried because you knew they would be like this.

“Fine. I know and remember—kind of the kind of dick game he has. What I will not do is talk about it.”

The four of them booed you while you and Nexus laughed. Your phone chimed in your bag, and you dug for it. Your first thought was something was wrong with Ella. This was the first time Chris was left with her. Your parents were close by, but for the most part Ella was his responsibility. When you looked at the screen you saw a message from Kassius.

MSG Kassius: Second wave of publicity starts in a few days. The first batch of pictures we took will suffice for now, but soon we need to do reshoots to push that ASAP. When will you be back in LA?

MSG: A few more days. Four tops. I’m still dealing with a few things.

MSG Kassius: Okay. If it works, I can set up for you to get reshoots in Boston. The team can be out there in twenty-four hours and get it done in one afternoon.

MSG: Yeah, that actually can work. I don’t want to hold the timeline up anymore.

MSG Kassius: It’s fine, Vixen. We are right on schedule. The team has been doing excellent promo work, and I hear lots of whispers and interest in you. I think you are about to blast off fame wise.

Your heart sunk a little. You hadn’t thought about fame when you decided on all of this. Fame was not what you were after. In San Francisco, you’d passed up on huge partnerships because the idea of fame was terrifying especially with Ella and your situation then. Now your situation was much more precarious. You didn’t know if fame was the best thing.

MSG Kassius: I’ve been getting calls from the head bosses at Food Network.

Again, your eyes bugged out.

“Food Network? Holy shit!”

MSG: Food Network? As in cooking shows Food Network?

MSG Kassius: Yeah. One of the executives saw you at Culinary Expo said you did a cooking segment and loved it. He says you have something. I wasn’t going to tell you until they requested a meet, but cat’s out the bag.

You couldn’t believe your eyes. Someone at Food Network saw your segment at the expo and was now in talks for god knows what.

MSG Kassius: I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything about it. As for the team and the reshoots, how about the day after tomorrow?

MSG: Yeah, I’ll confirm before then.

MSG Kassius: All right, thank you. Get back to it.

You were so stunned you weren’t even hearing your friends.

“What is going on with you?”

“That was Kassius, the guy I’m working with. He just told me there was an Executive from Food Network that was at the expo, and they saw my segment and liked it, so now there may be talks about something.”

They all squealed and clapped bringing all the eyes in the restaurant to you. Your smile was so broad that it almost matched how big your embarrassment was. They swarmed you with hugs and congratulations and even more questions about what it meant. You had no answer. You didn’t know.

After another hour at the restaurant, the six of you were now checking out the types of shopping the area had. You found a few things for Ella and thought about finding a new outfit, but you didn’t know how you’d explain it to them. You knew they wouldn’t just leave it as you wanting to get a new outfit, they would badger and press and be invasive, and you didn’t have any more mental space. You were processing a lot.

In a few hours, you were going on a date with your daughter’s father, who happened to be your ex-husband. This date was happening years after you’d met, slept together, had a child together, and divorced. You wanted to laugh at the mere thought of your entire situation. You’d jumped over every step and went right to the endzone. Now it felt like you were backtracking to dot your I’s.

You didn’t know what you were doing. You always knew what you were doing—always. You were in unchartered territory, and you knew it. Once you realized you were still attracted to him, you’d entered unchartered territory. You didn’t know precisely how to be or what to say. You just knew you had an overwhelming desire to jump his bones.

Before you knew it, you and Nexus were at their hotel helping them pack up so they could get to the airport. As you watched them dance around and act ridiculous you were grateful for each of them. Yeah, they drove you absolutely bat shit crazy, and they were loud and often times hella uncensored to the point of embarrassment, but they had good hearts and were always there when you needed them. You were born with one sister, but you’d discovered four more.

At the airport, the goodbye was short and sweet. You thought you’d get away without one of them giving their unwarranted advice, but you were wrong. Joan was the one to turn back to give you one last hug. It was a hug that lasted a little longer.

“You have a beautiful brain that loves to overthink and loves to ignore and avoid. It’s part of your charm. You also have a beautiful heart; it’s big and kind and broken. You can’t live with a cold heart Vix. You can’t live by shutting people out and never letting anyone in. All you have to do is let the right one in.”

When she pulled back and looked at you, there was an “ah-ha” moment between you. You knew she’d caught the nature of yours and Chris’ relationship, knew she’d picked up on whatever was drifting around the two of you whenever you were near each other. In the glance that lasted a few moments the two of you understood each other. She walked off to catch up to everyone else, and you and Nexus got into the car and headed back to the house.

When you walked inside, you expected to see chaos, but it was all quiet. As you walked around the house looking for Chris and Ella every expectation was not met. You expected to see nothing but mess, hear nothing but screams or cries, but every turn you didn’t find that. You were met by more quiet and calm. When you got to the back you expected to see them in the pool, but they were not in the pool. You walked further into the yard and saw Chris and Anthony playing with Ella. Both of the masculine men were wearing brightly colored princess costumes. You and Nexus stopped in your tracks and looked at each other with your jaws dropped.

Anthony wore a yellow Belle costume with full-on Burnett wig. He was sitting at table decked out with teacups, flowers, pastries, and a few other items.

“What the hell--,” Nexus began.

Chris was walking around the table dressed as Rapunzel, but the one from Tangled. He also wore a wig, but it was blond and ridiculously long, so long he had the braid wrapped around his arm. He was serving tea to Ella, who was dressed as Ariel but wore items of Tiana’s as well. From the distance you stood, all you could hear was the high pitched voices of Anthony and Chris as they chattered along with Ella. You looked to Nexus again, who had her phone out and was filming the entire thing. The smile on her face was huge.

“I’m gonna marry him.”

Your head snapped to her again. Nexus never brought up the “M” word. She always said she was not the marrying kind. This was a first, and you knew she meant it. You’d be surprised if their relationship didn’t lead there at some point. They were extraordinarily compatible and similar. Half of you marveled that after such little time someone could know something so important. It was as if their hearts recognized each other the minute they met, and everything was pulling them together. You almost laughed as the thought popped into your head that if you and Chris had done things differently then maybe Nex and Anthony may have already been married.

The closer you got, the more you could hear.

“Oh, princess Ariel Tiana, this tea is just delightful,” Chris informed in a high-pitched tone that you were sure was supposed to resemble a woman’s voice.

“I have to agree with our dear friend Rapunzel, can I call you rap girl? Your name is so long,” Anthony responded in his own high-pitched voice. He was sitting to the side of the chair with one shoulder poked out ad his head angled up. It screamed attitude.

“Of course, rap has a nice ring to it.

“Thank you, sis,” Anthony finished.

Ella nodded her head and took a sip from the cup.

“Goo tea sis.”

You and Nexus busted out laughing, unable to hold it any longer. The “sis” took you out. All eyes went to the two of you. It was then you noticed the two men had very badly done makeup on. Chris had pink and purple glittery eyeshadow on that matched the deep purple blush that was applied to the high points of his cheekbone and bright pink lipstick. It all went very well with the outfit he wore. Antony, on the other hand, had yellow eyeshadow on with bright red blush to his cheeks and the same bright red lipstick. It made you and Nexus laugh even harder.

“Mama!” Ella ran over to you just as you stooped down to meet her and hug her. You then noticed her makeup. She had on glittery green eyeshadow with a peachish colored blush to her cheeks and soft pink lipstick. It wasn’t bad, though none of the colors looked good together.

“Wow, princess. You look—wow.”

“Who did this to you, Ella?” Ella pointed to Anthony who batted his eyelashes quickly.

“I did a marvelous job,” he informed in the same high-pitched voice. Nexus smiled again. Ella led you to the table with your pinky in her hand. It gave you the chance to take in Chris’ outfit fully.

“Tea too mama, tee-tee,” Ella ordered.

“Yes, please do join us for a spot of tea,” Chris pressed. You smiled and sat down adjacent to him as Nexus sat next to Anthony.

“My goodness, I feel like we’re underdressed for the occasion, Vix.”

You snorted then pinched your lips.

“I feel it too Nex.”

“Fiddle-dee, we understand don’t we princess Ariel Tiana. Not everyone can be as fashionably amazing as we are,” Anthony quipped.

Looking at Nexus’ face, you knew she was head over heels, no way of getting up in love with that man. Your eyes turned to Chris to find him already watching you. Your face heated, feeling a little self-conscious.

“Tea sis.” Ella said again, holding out two cups, one to you and the other to Nexus. All of you busted out laughing at the same time.

For the next thirty minutes, you enjoyed teatime. You watched Ella’s interactions with Chris and took notice of how perfect it all seemed. She didn’t hesitate to touch him or to smile at him, and he looked more comfortable as well. You loved watching them interact. It was quickly becoming your most favorite thing. Your eyes dropped to his lips, and you mentally corrected yourself.

“Second favorite thing.”

Soon you were sitting and watching Ella just twirl around the yard. She looked happy and carefree, and it warmed your heart.

“What’re you thinking?” You looked to Chris, whose eyes were already on you.

“Uh—nothing, just she looks so happy and carefree. I think she loves it here.”

He smiled and nodded. “Well, she’s always welcome here. Her room is always prepped.”

You looked down at the table and snorted. “Who did this to you?”

“She did.” You examined his face again.

“You don’t like it?” You laughed, then nodded.

“I love it. The purple and glitter really bring out the blue in your eyes.”

Chris nodded and then shook his head. “Go on laugh it up. If I were a less secure man I’d be very self-conscious right now.”

“So you’re secure wearing the prettiest Rapunzel get up I’ve ever seen and makeup to match?”

“Absolutely, my little girl wanted to play princess tea party costumes and all, and I was not going to disappoint.” You smiled again. He had no sense of toxic male masculinity, and it was yet another thing to like about him.

“How was your day?”

“It was good. Got some food, did a little shopping, and took my friends to the airport.”

“Maybe I’ll get another opportunity to get to know them better. They seem like great women.”

You nodded again and wondered if he always knew the right thing to say.

“Da-da, come ance.”

“Go, dance, and frolic in the grass princess Rapunzel,” you teased.

“Don’t mind if I do,” Chris responded in his high-pitched woman’s voice as he got up and skipped over to Ella.

“That is the worst woman’s voice I’ve ever heard, by the way.” Chris turned back and stuck his tongue out at you then began skipping and dancing with Ella. You couldn’t handle watching any more, so you stood and walked back to the house. As you walked inside you saw Anthony and Nexus whispering and giggling together in the kitchen. She never giggled.

Once you made it to your door, there was one single long stem lavender rose taped to the door. Your steps slowed as you got closer. Standing in front of the door, you took it and took a whiff. The fragrance was strong but soft all at once, and you couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face. You bit your bottom lip and opened the door still lost in the flower. When you turned around you nearly dropped everything. There was a huge bouquet that housed pink, white and purple roses were wrapped around a few layers of soft white tulle lying across your bed.

“Oh my god.”

Slowly you walked to them. Each step felt like your legs were filled with lead. Once you made it to the side of your bed your fingers traced the tulle and then the delicate soft petals of the roses. They were beautiful.

You perched on the edge of your bed, then bent to smell them and moaned. No matter how detached you were, you couldn’t ignore that flowers still gave you that warm and fuzzy feeling. You noticed you didn’t feel like this when Zack gave you flowers. You felt nothing then. That acknowledgment made your nerves rise.

You saw the note sticking out from between two buds. Once you opened it, you read it’s contents.

Vixen,

There was a conversation we had all those years ago that plays in my head often. I asked you what your favorite flowers were, and you said you didn’t have one, but you were a sucker for roses only if they weren’t red. You mentioned red roses were so typical and the only thing men ever thought to give. You said you liked the unconventional choice rather than the predictable one. That alone told me a lot about you. It said you preferred sincerity over intentional shows, you would rather a plain and simple expression over something fake and extravagant. You only needed the sentiment to be evident and real. I can do that. There are many ways to give you the world. I’ll see you at five at the gazebo.

-Chris-

Your heart was racing. You began to wonder if he’d always been this charming. Thinking back to those years ago, you quickly found your answer. This had always been him. He’d just become more devastatingly so.

“Oh dear god, I beg you help me keep my panties on tonight.”

~~~~~~~~

-That Night-

You didn’t want anyone to know, neither of you did. You had an early dinner with your family, Chris and Anthony. Neither you or Chris ate or spoke; you were so wrapped up in your thoughts you just rolled it around your plate. Thankfully because of Anthony’s presence, you were not the topic of conversation; it was instead Anthony and Nexus. Then you allowed Chris to tuck Ella in while you began getting ready.

You did and undid your hair more times than you could count and changed way more than you should have. It was annoying. You were never like this. By the time it was almost five you stared at yourself again and took a few deep breaths. With your shoes in your hand you walked out your room and downstairs, hoping no one saw you. Just as you were about to be home free you saw Anthony and Nexus cuddled up beside the pool. You froze and tried to think of another route. Before you could move Anthony was the one to see you. He smiled and nodded then fanned you along while he distracted Nexus. You scurried across the deck and then the backyard toward where the gazebo was.

As you approached, you saw Chris standing there with his back to you. From behind he looked delicious. The closer you got, he must have felt your presence; he turned around and froze just watching you approach. You smiled, and the look on his face was like someone had kicked him in his gut.

“Hi. Am I late?”

Chris didn’t speak; he just stared at you for a long while. Then he shook his head as if he’d just zoned out or something.

“Sorry, um—no, I think you’re right on time.” You smiled and watched him hold out another purple rose. Smiling, you took the flower.

“Thank you; it’s beautiful. I love it, and the ones upstairs.” Chris smiled, and the two of you stood there, staring at each other. Chris cleared his throat and took a breath.

“Shall we?” he motioned to two bikes, one blue and the other pink.

“Are those bikes?”

“They are. Tell me you remember how to ride.”

“I’m willing to try to remember.”

You shook your head at your dirty thought and smiled. “Sure. It’s been over ten years, at least.”

“Same for me, but we’re not going too far, and the truck isn’t the best mode of transportation there.”

You looked over yourself at the dress you wore then to the bike and shook off the worry. You were actually getting a little excited.

“All right.” You approached the bike and dropped your heels in the basket then lifted your leg. “Don’t look.”

Chris snorted and looked away and climbed on his bike. You sighed once you were finally on it.

“All right, follow me.” Chris peddled off, and you followed close behind into the forest.

As you rode, he pointed things out and teased you for the way you peddled trying to keep your legs together. The more he teased you, the more you got in touch with your tomboy self and pushed impropriety to the side and enjoyed the ride. You stood on the peddles and enjoyed the carefreeness you felt. After you’d been riding for about eight minutes, the house was no longer in sight. Chris went into a different part of the woods than you’d ever been and cautioned you to be careful.

After another ten or so minutes, you pulled up beside a stopped Chris. “Why’d you stop?”

“We’re here.” You looked where he was, and your jaw dropped.

You’d made it to a lake, but it was not just any lake. There was a long walk path that was decked out with lanterns. It began at the shore and went out over the water for several feet. At the end of the way, there was a tiny cabin that was decked out It was decked out with twinkling tree lights that had it competing with the amazing backdrop of nothing but wilderness and the reflection of the lowering sun and the sky.

“Oh my god.” You pressed your palm to your stomach and tried to steady the butterflies that were rampantly causing havoc on your nerves. You didn’t know how long you stood there just frozen. A plethora of possibilities and outcomes ran through your mind.

“Are you okay?” Chris’ voice brought you out of your head and back into the present. You looked at him, and for the first time you didn’t have any words. That was new for you. Staring in his eyes your mouth went dry, and you felt your body drift to him. Quickly you pulled back and cleared your throat.

“Ye—yeah.”

“Okay. This is where we leave these and go on foot.”

“On foot? Down that?” You nudged your head to the steep dune before you.

“Yeah. Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” Chris assured as he leaned the bikes against a tree and waited for you to take your heels and clutch from the basket of yours. You looked down to see his held out hand. “Ready?”

You felt like it was a loaded question, felt like it didn’t just mean ready to go down the dune or walk across that walk path. You felt it asked if you were ready for what came now? Were you ready for what came next? Were you ready for whatever happened tonight and any other night or day beyond? You didn’t know if you were, but you also knew that everything had been leading here. Fate was on your ass, and that bitch was saying your move.

-Chris-

With your hand in his, he took it slow leading you down the dune. He was glad you weren’t wearing heels because you may have twisted your ankle. Though the heels looked to go perfectly with the dress, he liked you barefoot, liked you looking carefree and down to earth rather than fully put together. He remembered he loved the way you looked that first morning he woke up to you. Your hair was a mess, mascara and eyeshadow smudged, lipstick smeared across your cheek and naked. He honestly thought you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen on spot. When you put on his shirt and paced the room, that was the first time he’d had a strange feeling in his chest. You squealed, and he saw you about to fall, without thinking about it; he scooped you off your feet and carried you the rest of the way.

Once at the shore, he looked at you to find your eyes already on him, and you were breathing hard as if you’d run a marathon. “What?”

Your Adam’s apple bobbed, then you cleared your throat and looked away as he let you down.

“Nothing, just—I didn’t ehm—expect you to be so—strong.”

He smiled and tried to prevent the blush he knew was creeping up his neck.

“Well, I am Captain America.” You laughed, and the tension was immediately broken up.

“Good one.” He began the walk to the boardwalk with you following behind.

As you walked, he felt you lagging behind. When he looked back, you were looking around at the lanterns and the water and every so often the cabin ahead. Your expression was concealed so he was having a hard time piecing together what you were thinking. It was a miracle he was able to pull this off especially since what he wanted to be done in the time span was what some would call impossible. He made it happen though, another perk of being Chris Evans. As he looked at the cabin, he had no regrets. You deserved nothing less.

“What is this place?”

“It came with the property. Remember I told you the lake was the selling point for me? Well, on the lake there was this old decrepit cabin, and I restored it. I don’t use it really. I always found it interesting it was kind of in the middle of the lake rather than at the shore. There were so many possible places I could take you tonight, but this was my number one choice.” He stopped in front of the door as did you. You looked around your feet and saw the lavender moss floating above the water, then you looked up at the lit trees, and in the glow of the light you looked at him.

“It’s beautiful.” He smiled and nodded, then opened the door and stepped over the threshold. Slowly you walked in and gasped. He watched your face as a few emotions passed across them, but you didn’t speak. Just when he began to think he’d missed the mark here and went way over the top, you rubbed your forehead.

“Well fuck!”

“I’m sorry, what?”

You blew out a breath and looked to him.

“Well, you just made it that much more difficult not to sleep with you.”

He could have been knocked over with a breeze, and he was sure his expression showed it.

“Wow.”

You laughed, it began small but got louder and much freer, it was almost obnoxiously loud, but it was contagious. Soon the two of you were laughing together as if you hadn’t just said you would possibly sleep with him. He motioned for you to take a seat, obliging him you walked around and sat on one of the cushions on the floor behind the table. He followed suit but took up the bottle of wine that was off to the side in an ice bucket.

“Wine?”

Nodding, you continued to look around as he filled your glass. He couldn’t help wondering what you were thinking, couldn’t help replaying your words from mere seconds ago. He knew you were kidding, but did he know you were kidding.

“She was probably being truthful.”

“Since I know you didn’t have dinner, I know you’re hungry.”

“Starving, Evans. Feed me, please.” He laughed as he went into the insulated bags that were in the corner. He took out container after container filled with appetizers, salad, main course, and extras.

“My God, where did all this come from?”

“One of my favorite restaurants in Boston. Everything they make is good. I’ve had everything on the menu.”

“Did you get everything on the menu?”

“Maybe. I know you love tacos and burritos and nachos and all the os, and spaghetti but I got to thinking what else do you like so. Voila, we’re having a bit of everything.”

When he was done, there were easily twenty containers that decorated the table. You snorted and laughed loudly again.

“Wow, that’s one way to get answers.”

“All right. So over here are appetizers, these are salads, and here are all the entrees. Pick what’s first.”

You ran your fingers over the tops of a few containers he’d shown were appetizers, then pointed to one that was furthest away. Opening it, he held it out to you. Your face lit up as you took up a piece up with your fingers. He smiled, loving you didn’t bother with utensils.

“What is it?”

He looked at the lid and read the table.

“Lettuce cups, they’re filled with oyster and pickled vegetables with a chipotle sauce.”

You bit it chewed then nodded your approval.

“Not bad.”

“Is it a like or nah?”

“Eh—I’m not big on oysters. I’ll cook them, but eating them is another thing.”

“They say oysters are an aphrodisiac.” He had no idea why that came out, but your amusement was evident.

“They do say that. Have at it, tell me if you agree.”

He ate his lettuce cup with you watching him. After a few seconds, he felt no different.

“Guess not,” he answered. You scoffed but didn’t look convinced. He picked the next container and read its contents.

“Crab cocktail.”

“Yay, I love crab,” you chirped as you took one and happily gobbled it down.

“I like crab too, any seafood really.” You took another while pointing to the next container.

“Avocado salad.”

“Another favorite, I love eating and cooking with Avocado,” you informed.

You ate a few forkfuls of the salad, as did he. The two of you went back and forth picking different containers then enjoying the different types of foods. There was a wide variety, seafood, various meats, textures, and flavors. You heartily ate and didn’t seem to care how you ate or how much you ate. He hated when women ate like they weren’t hungry all for the benefit of men. You didn’t care what he thought, and he was grateful for it.

After almost an hour, all the containers had been opened and consumed, and you sat there, sipping your glass of wine laughing at his jokes.

“No lie, ask Scott, that is exactly how it happened.”

You pinched your lips and slapped your hand over your mouth to quiet the snort that escaped you.

“Sounds like the perfect situation to scare you straight.”

He laughed and nodded. “I was scared for a long time.” You laughed louder, and he just sat there nodding.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh at you, just—wow.”

“No, by all means, I was an idiot kid.” You smiled and finished your glass.

“Have room for dessert?”

“Oh my god, Chris are you trying to get me fat? This was easily twenty-five hundred calories, not including those two bottles of wine.”

“I never took you as a woman who counted calories.”

“Oh, what woman did you take me as then?”

He shrugged and smiled to himself and took another sip from his glass.

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit, that little smirk spoke volumes. Go on, tell me.”

He shrugged again, then finished the glass. “I don’t know, maybe one who did what she wanted when she wanted no matter what.” You shimmied your shoulders as you made a face as if you were thinking.

“Well--,” you stretched out. “I wouldn’t say you’re right, and I wouldn’t say you’re wrong,” you answered.

“So you are that woman then.”

“When I want to be.”

“Well, Vixen. Do you want to be; here right now?”

It was a question with double meaning. He was curious how you’d respond. He watched your tongue slowly dance across your bottom lip before you sucked it into your mouth.

“Dessert it is.”

With a smile, he stood and cleared the containers away, putting them in the trash bag in the corner. He walked around to you, held his hands out and waited for you to take it. He didn’t have to wait long before you placed your smaller hands within his larger ones. He led you out the cabin down the boardwalk, but only halfway, then he stopped.

“What?”

“Do you trust me?” Your eyes bugged out as confusion knitted your brows together. You looked at him incredulously.

“What?”

“Do you trust me?”

“What? Why? What are you about to do?”

“Give you dessert, but you have to trust me.”

You stared at him, and he could see the ill trust shining through your eyes, you looked conflicted as if you wanted to say something, but something held you back.

“Trust is a funny thing with me, Chris,” you began. He nodded, fully understanding what you meant and how you felt.

“I understand completely. So I’ll modify, tonight, do you trust me?” You gazed into his eyes for a few moments then nodded your head. He had to earn your trust; he knew it.

“Okay, thank you.” He sat at the edge of the boardwalk and slid into the waiting canoe. It was a fluid motion for him; he’d done it tens of times. When he turned to you, your eyes were as wide as saucers. He held his hand out to you.

“What the fuck?”

Laughing, he steadied the vessel and waited for you to take his hand. After almost a minute you took it.

“Do what I just did, I’ll do the rest.”

“Oh my god, are you going to pull me into the lake, Chris?”

“No, I promise.” You took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the boardwalk just as he did. Just as he was about to take over, you stiffened and held your other hand out to his chest.

“Wait.” Stopping, he looked at you.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to fall in.”

“You can swim, it’s no big deal either way.”

“No big deal? Chris, this took hours to accomplish,” you explained, gesturing to your figure from head to toe. “If I fall in, it’ll be ruined.” He smiled. It was sweet you’d put so much effort into the way you looked tonight, and it was sweet you even wanted to.

“As I said, no big deal. You’ll still be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met in my life.”

The air became thick, and the moment heavy. You sighed softly then took his other hand, quickly he pulled you into the canoe pressing you against his body as his arms engulfed you. Your soft gasp was cut short by the force of how your bodies met. Slowly you looked up into his eyes, and he had to fight the urge to kiss you. He brushed the back of his hand across your cheek then cupped your jaw.

“Dessert better be mind blowing.” He smiled, nodded, and set you on one of the benches in the canoe. He untied the rope and pushed off from the boardwalk.

“I promise it’ll be to die for.”

He rowed further out to the lake. The setting sun cast a warm glow in the water, and you just marveled at it.

“Wow. How the hell do you leave this?”

“It’s hard, especially when I think what’s waiting for me back in LA. The only comfort is knowing I will be back. I spend maybe three to four months in LA, usually when working; otherwise, I’m here—home.”

Your eyes fell to his, and that is where they stayed while he continued to row the boat. As you rowed in silence just enjoying the sounds of the paddle hitting the water and pushing through it and the trees rustling in the gentle breeze he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. Underneath the sunset here in the lake close to his home he’d never wanted to keep things the same as much as right now. If he could he’d press this moment, sealing it forever.

When he stopped, he took the two containers from underneath his bench and held one out to you. When you opened it you smiled widely.

“You look like you’re a cheesecake woman,” he theorized. You nodded.

“I am. How’d you know?”

“I remember the two of us buying and finishing an entire cheesecake after we got married.”

You looked down and took a piece of the cake and began eating. “You then called room service for apple pie and drizzled a diabetic shock amount of caramel sauce all over it,” you added. He cut into his dessert and held up the forkful of apple pie drizzled with caramel. You snorted and laughed.

“Some things never change,” he voiced.

The two of you ate in silence for a few moments.

“How long did it take for all of it to come back?”

“About a week,” he informed. You nodded.

“A few days for me.”

“You know as far as weddings go, I think it was a good one,” he admitted. The two of you sat in silence and thought back to the night.

“Eh—I guess it was all right.” You smiled at him, and it was a smile that hid so much. He pulled out the bottle of wine and poured a glass for you then himself.

“What should we drink too?”

He thought for a moment, then looked to the sky and smirked.

“Sunsets.”

“Sunsets?” He nodded.

“I see sunsets as a sign of the beginning of something new. A lot of people see it as an ending, but I see an opportunity to start something fresh, new—something better.”

You looked at him from underneath your eyelids, and you looked just like how Ariel did with Eric.

“So—sunsets.”

“Sunsets,” he repeated. Your glasses clinked together then you drank still peering at each other.

After enjoying the final remnants of the setting sun, the lake turned dark. The only light was that of the lanterns on the boardwalk and those in the trees that framed the cabin. It was more than enough to see you clearly.

“Remember what you said in LA when your parents found out about Ella and me? You said you hid Ella because you were hurt.”

Your eyes dropped.

“What did you mean by that?”

“Let’s not go there, Chris. Let’s just—stay present.”

“My mom always says that you can’t move forward until you address the past. I want to move forward, Vixen. Any way we can.”

You studied him for a few long moments, then took a deep breath and let it out.

“Uuugh. Um--,” you stuttered.

“Did I hurt you?”

“Fine, yes. It is so easy in situations as those for someone to get hurt. Did I get hurt? Maybe—yes.

He nodded and toyed with his glass. You averted your eyes and looked around the lake. The tension between you rose. As he looked at you, his mind went back to the last night with you. Somehow it felt like full circle. He went over every detail then he saw it. The one thing he’d regretted this entire time. The one thing he’d been running from facing.

“Vixen, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Your face was blank as you took another sip from your glass, the cheesecake was long gone.

“I was the world’s biggest and worst asshole three years ago.” You were lowering the glass from your lips when he said the words, but you lifted it again and finished the drink on one breath.

“I said something to you--.” Your voice interrupted him “

“Chris, you don’t--.”

“Yes, I do. Please.” You reached for the bottle and refilled your glass then took another sip.

“I said something to you that I am ashamed of, something that I have run from and deeply regretted every day for the last three years. I don’t even know where to start to--,” he sighed, closed his eyes, and tried to find the words he’d wished he’d been brave enough to say before.

“The guy I was then—” he shook his head remembering all his younger antics. “I was a dick. I was self-absorbed, I knew women wanted me and would do just about anything for a taste of the lifestyle I’d been thrown into, and I let it get to me. I fell in that lifestyle headfirst. I became the douche brothers tell their sisters to stay away from. I slept around--a lot. I woke up to a different woman every week. I lived for the next party, the next pretty face, and the next movie. It was always about what was next. Settling down, sticking with one person was a nightmare then, I didn’t think I was ready. There was still too much I thought I wanted to do.” He took a breath; your eyes were on him, but he couldn’t read you. It was like you’d shut down and become android like.

“I saw you that night, and you froze me, no lie. I didn’t expect that or everything else that happened that night. I didn’t expect the effortless conversation or the smooth way we grooved together. I didn’t expect to tell you everything I did, or feel so good with you, so effortless. The night at my house was great. It is easily one of the best nights of my life. What I said to you was wrong on so many levels, it was insensitive, disrespectful, rude and a bunch of other words I’m going to let you fill in. I didn’t think how it would make you feel, how it came across, how it sounded, I didn’t think at all. I’m sorry, Vixen. I am very sorry.”

You didn’t speak or look away from him. He wasn’t sure you’d respond, and he intended to give you all the time you needed to process. As a few seconds, turned to a minute and a minute to a minute and a half, then two, he began to lose his nerve.

“The insanely ridiculous thing is that what I said couldn’t have been further from the truth. I didn’t even realize it until I came back out of the bathroom and saw you were gone. It hit me that I was an idiot,” he rushed out.

Silence fell between you again, and this time, he decided he wouldn’t speak again until you did. A soft melodious hum sounded, he looked down and saw your finger slowly rotating the rim of the glass. He remembered you doing this the night you met. He showed you his secret talent, and you showed him this. You switched fingers to your pinky, and the sound became higher pitched but still beautiful.

Suddenly you stopped then sighed.

“Okay.”

“O—okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. I’m done holding on to that. Thank you for apologizing.”

“I am so sorry. Can you forgive me?”

You hesitated for a moment then spoke. “I forgive you.” Feeling as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, he smiled. It was a smile you returned.

Slowly but surely, his body drifted to yours, and unless he was crazy yours drifted to his as well.

“I have something I have to tell you,” he began with a whisper.

“What?”

Your faces continued to drift closer and closer. As he opened his mouth to tell you about the marriage, one of the ores fell into the water. You tried to reach for it but leaned a little too quickly, and the canoe rocked. In the blink of an eye, you screeched and tumbled over into the lake. When you came up your eyes were huge.

“Oh my god! Chris! I told you my ass would fall in. Look!”

He didn’t mean to laugh, but he did, and it wasn’t a small one either. It was a gut-busting one. Your jaw dropped.

“Oh my god, are you laughing at me!?”

He shook his head as he tried to catch his breath, but every time he tried to stop laughing, a fresh wave began. You screeched and slapped the water. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing. Come on let me help you.” He reached over for your hand. You pulled him into the lake headfirst. When he reemerged you were cackling and not even trying to hide it.

“Wow, that was petty.”

“Then call me queen petty because that was funny.” You laughed some more as he came closer and splashed you in the face with a big wave of water. Your shocked expression made him laugh until you pushed your own wave of water in his face. That began the water fight. You each splashed, screamed, laughed and played in the water. He felt like a kid again, felt like he had no care in the world. Slowly the two of you stopped splashing. He drifted closer and brushed back your hair from your forehead.

“See, told you,” he began.

“Told me what?”

“You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” You smiled small at first, but it spread across your face until you hid it behind your hand.

“Whatever, Evans.”

The two of you swam back to the boardwalk. Once there, he hoisted himself up and onto the wood, then he reached into the water for you.

“Come on. It’s warmer inside.” He led the way back to the cabin. Once inside, he closed the door and went for the small solar-powered space heater he kept in there until he brought over one of the blankets and wrapped it around you.

When the two of you sat in front of the heater, you offered him some of the blanket. Soon you were huddled together sitting in silence. It wasn’t an awkward one either. It felt as natural as breathing.

“Why did you stay at your house if you saw that night everywhere?”

He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. He wondered if he could be this open with you. Half of him wanted to, but the other half was afraid. He knew he was in love with you, knew he wanted you without a doubt, but your feelings were still unknown. He didn’t know if he could be this vulnerable, then have you pull away.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” you added.

“In the beginning, I used it as a way to punish myself. I knew I’d messed up and regretted it. As time went on and years did I used it as a way to remember,” he admitted.

“Remember what?” He looked at you and skimmed your face.

“You—us.” Your eyes met his, and he knew this was the moment that would dictate everything moving forward. He decided to go for it. Closing the space between you, his lips met yours for a soft peck which turned into another, then another until it turned into a timid kiss, one he could feel your hesitation in.

“We can’t,” you whispered in the middle of the kiss. His forehead pressed to yours.

“Why not?” He kissed the corner of your mouth, then your cheek and your jaw. He loved your skin.

“Because Ella. Our daughter.” Your eyes were closed.

“So it’s not because you don’t want to? Don’t want me?”

He had to know once and for all.

“Do you want me?” Your counter question had him pulling back but only a little, and enough to look into your eyes. His hand cupped your cheek, making you look at him.

“Vixen, you know I want you. How can I not? Jesus, I’ve wanted you for three years.”

The shock on your face was evident. Your lips crashed to his taking lead of a passion-filled kiss, one that stole almost every ounce of his control leaving him with only a tiny sliver. As he was about to deepen the kiss you pulled back.

“Mmm, No. God, Chris. There is a difference between wanting me and wanting this from me,” you expressed. He knew what you meant.

“I know there is. I know the difference. I don’t want this Vixen. I want you.”

Needing you to take the lead, he waited. When your lips met, the kiss was a soft, sensual rapture. Slowly your lips danced, teasing one another, daring each other to let go and have everything they wanted. He didn’t want to think about anything else, not what he should do, or shouldn’t do, not the future. He just wanted to think about you and him right now.

The kiss intensified, and your moan was the first to escape between you. It coaxed his free until the two of you were moaning and relishing in the feel of the beginning of your desire for each other. After several long minutes you slowly fell to your back atop the blankets and stared up at him. He held his breath afraid you’d pull away; instead you grabbed his shirt and pulled him on top of you to continue the kiss. That was what he needed for his confidence to take flight. His hand gripped your calf and slid up your leg to the hem of the wet dress.

“You’re shaking,” you whispered. His embarrassment shone on him with his blush. He looked down to his hands that were, in fact shaking.

“I am.”

“Are you cold?” He shook his head, then met your eyes.

“No, not cold.” The moment stretched with you staring at him. He wondered if you understood. You raised his hand to your lips and placed a soft kiss across his knuckles. Using the same hand, he caressed your cheek, down to your jaw, then chin. Using his thumb to softly rub across your bottom lip, he then dipped it inside. You kissed his thumb and never took your eyes off his.

“God, she drives me crazy.”

Your lips met again, but the heat he felt inward crept out as he took control of the frenzied kiss. When he felt your legs part for him he comfortably settled between them and pressed himself against you. You gasped and angled your head back, giving him the leeway he needed to taste your skin. He kissed, licked and sucked your neck as his hand found yours to entwine with. You pulled your hand away to grip the hem of his shirt and pull it up over his head. The material dropped to the wooden floor with a wet “splat.”

Your hands were on his chest in seconds, and you slowly took him in. He sat up and allowed you to get your fill. Slowly your hands roamed across his chest, down his abdomen and back again.

“Is it the way you remember?” You smirked and shook your head.

“A lot has changed.” He smiled then lowered to kiss you again. You had lips that needed kissing and kissing often. Your hands at his waist surprised him. When he felt you undoing his belt and pants he nearly lost it. Until this morning, this was just a dream or a nightmare of his. He’d envisioned this so many times over the years, and every time he thought of it he wanted it, but he didn’t feel as if he deserved it.

Your small hands began to urgently pull at his pants. Lifting off his knees he helped you get them off. Once they were at his thighs he broke the kiss, stood, and pulled them off kicking them to the side. You gazed up at him with half lazy eyes, and he’d never wanted anyone more.

“Come here.” You sat up as he dropped to his knees and claimed his lips. You rolled him onto his back and sat on his need. His groan was more forceful than he intended, and it rivaled your moan. Just like that, his need for your rose exponentially. His hands gripped your back then trailed to your hips. Once there he squeezed and got lost in the feel of your full hips in his hands.

When your lips left his and trailed to his neck, your hips began rotating making his need pulsate even more. Your moan said you felt it, and the way your rotations picked up speed said you wanted more. His fingers found the zipper of your dress, and he slowly lowered it as he did, the material loosened on your body. You sat up bit your bottom lip then slipped the straps off your shoulders revealing your bare breasts to him for the first time in years. A stronger man would have laid there marveling at your beauty and whisper sweet nothings into your ear, but he was not strong anymore. He had you the woman of his dreams—and nightmares in his arms, and he was filled with more wants than he’d ever had in his life.

Sitting up, he cupped your breast and latched his mouth to one pert nipple. As he did you hugged his head to your chest and arched back. Your moans were like music to his ears, and the louder you got, the more he needed to hear them. Switching to the other he lapped at your flesh and moaned his pleasure. He rolled you onto your back and pressed your hands above your head. The new angle had your breasts poked out for him like they were offerings—offerings he happily accepted adding soft nibbles to your stiff peaks.

“Mmm, Chris!”

Slowly he kissed down the center of your body to your stomach, where he pulled the rest of your dress off. Once he made it to your pelvis he slowly pulled your underwear lower until he saw the tattoo he remembered, the tattoo that was part of his nightly haunting. He dropped a soft kiss to the design then pulled the remainder of the fabric from your body. With you fully bare before him, he thought you looked like a goddess.

He parted your legs and wasted no time dipping his tongue to your sex. At the first touch, you arched your back and gasped loudly. He’d intended to tease you and go slow, but your reaction made it impossible. His tongue had a mind of its own. He flicked and sucked at your bud getting lost in your taste. He was a thirsty man, and your juices were the only thing that could satiate him. With every pass his tongue made you writhed and moaned. When he sucked your flesh into his mouth your thighs clenched together, trapping his head where it was. Feeding off of your pleasure he sped his tongue. You were soon bucking and riding his mouth as your hands gripped his head.

“Fuck, Chris, yes, yes!” When he felt the gush of fluid into his mouth, he slurped at your skin and kept your sex firmly on his mouth though you tried to push his head away and pull yourself free. He wasn’t having it.

“Shit,” you stretched out as your body convulsed.

It was then he tore his lips from yours. When he looked down at you he watched you shake loving the way your breast jiggled and how hard you bit your lip. When your eyes met his, the fire he saw there matched every flame he felt within. He felt your hand grip his length as your eyes fell to his protruding need as it rested on your pubis. Your mouth fell open looking at the part of him he wondered if you had forgotten. He wondered often if you ever thought of him, of it, and touched yourself. Did you ever imagine him on top of you—inside of you.

You positioned him right at your opening, but both of you were frozen as if taking in the moment. He moved forward, intentionally nudging your wet bud with the tip of his dick. You moaned and rolled your eyes back. It was a beautiful sight, so beautiful he did it again and again. On the fourth buck of his hips, he slowly slid inside your heat. At the first touch your eyes flew open, latched onto his, and your mouth opened.

Every centimeter he slid in, he felt as if your body both accepted and rejected him. You were tighter than he remembered, and he nearly lost his mind because of it. After sinking halfway into you he pulled back to sink in again, feeding you more and more of him each dip. Once he was fully sheathed, you clung to him while your core squeezed him, sucking him in deeper.

“Fuck, Vixen!”

Of their own accord, his hips began a slow pace that quickly picked up, creating a steady rock that stretched you. Your moans egged him on and made him want more and more of you. The more he wanted, the faster his hips thrust, the faster his hips thrust, the deeper he plowed. It didn’t take long for your moans and grunts to compete against each other and bounce off the walls of the cabin. Your eyes locked onto his and held him captivated.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Dipping down, he kissed you as your bodies collided together taking everything the other offered and giving even more in return. When he felt you clench around him for the third time he almost claimed his release, but he wanted too much and didn’t want it to end. He wanted to stay nestled deep inside you for the rest of his life.

“Chris!” Your high-pitched moan brought him out of his head. Your hand latched onto his jaw. He kissed your palm and felt his release quickly approaching. The sight of your bodies connecting was enough to drive him mad. The way your body accepted him was a thing of beauty, and the way you responded to him was pure magic. It had never been like this with anyone—just you.

“Vixen!” That was his only warning as his release claimed him, and he released himself deep inside you. His body shook from the power of it. his grunts fell from him one after the other. Dropping his head onto your shoulder he could barely catch his breath. Holding you tightly, he rolled taking you with him allowing you to lay across his chest. Slowly your bodies stopped shaking, and your breathing evened out. Soon all there was to hear was just nature all around you, but he’d already pressed to memory the sound of you shouting his name as you came. It was a sound he was already addicted to, a sound he knew would haunt him, as would his love for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@airis-paris14 @thiccdaddy-mbaku @wakandas-vibranium @wakanda-inspired @theunsweetenedtruth @ashanti-notthesinger @reignsxjackson @halfrican-heat @ambthegamer @simplyyamberr @muse-of-mbaku @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @maliadestiny @drsunshine97 @blowmymbackout @purplehairgawdess @thehuntoyobun @wakandamama @wakandawinning @profilia @zxddy-panther @h-challa @babygirlofwakanda @misswakanda2018 @ororowrites@hutchj @myfavemarvelfanfics @lavitabella87 @afraiddreamingandloving @autumn242 @purple-apricots @skysynclair19 @hersheyskissesss-blog @blue-ishx @90sinspiredgirl @tchallaswife @tchallamakesmeh0lla @turn-thy-paige @blackchickfics @blackpantherismyish @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @naturally-bri @flawlesslybeautiful14 @qweentbh@lunaerly @theoutereffect@twilight-sapphire-lover @pupyluv247 @stark-red19 @cockyboysandsugarism@maverickabull @madbadsiren @aykanna @myaw731 @ruruly20 @mixedmelanin @brittyevans @bezzywazhere@laketaj24 @soulsparker @theresnomoregoodones @syreanne@loveandcigarillos @heyauntieeee @heybriheyyy @wakanda-bcth @uhlxis @maliadestiny @dadinhas-heat @yaachtynoboat711@geeksareunique @bultalongthewayside @ajspencer1892 @captiansaveasmut @imaginewhoever @terrablaze514 @starsshines-blog @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade@darkandlovely94 @sithlordslut @wavyyc @naturalistamisslyn @nigarachi15 @madamslayyy @blackandfair @kreolemami @mylastnameisthe-fish @kaykay0829@chaneajoyyy @tequilajay27 @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @slimmiyagi @im5ftbutmythroat66 @jaeee-http@madhatterhelsing @sunflowerpsalms @wakanda-shit-is-that @deliciousstreetkidcroissant @jecourt @vebner37 @disneysdarlingdiva @melaninmarvel @alanastormborn@dolphinpink310 @yourwonderbelle @ohleucothea @queentearra @bitchbetterhavemydinner @fentybabyy @kaykay4454fan @priya212 @kitkit1690 @chrismarcs @beautycomesindifferentformsworld @blackpantherimagines @ovohanna24 @sweetpeachjones @kslo000 @nubian-queen18 @omgsuperstarg @airis-paris14 @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @drsunshine97 @blue-ishx @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @prettyprincessushio @treeondrea @ursapharoh05 @blackpinup22 @kaytauru @big3gocandykahn @kissingpineapples @wildaboutchrisevans @fitfineandstayingalive @misspooh @michele-onel @gorjiss @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @muva-milaje @limbo-limbo-limbo @awkwardlyabstract @blxck-brxndie @meeky-imagines @inlovewith3 @metalarmlover @mellowjellow6 @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @thatrandomhetaliachick @missdeerstalker15 @ursapharoh05 @treeondrea @ovohanna24 @marvelheaux @romanceoftheeveryday @mufasathatniggatho @cltex84 @sweetbearcolorgarden @msincognito67 @mosagram @lunaerly @mar-ta-3 @ljstraightnochaser @lewatigress @akimi-youngblood @bekahdean87 @jasmindaughteroftheworld @cocooned-butterfly @emoniclark22 @chereedrop619 @theblulife @niggarachi15 @drsunshine97 @msincognito67 @missdeerstalker15 @wakandamama @avenger-marvel-fan @arieljamiyla @vibranium-soul @monae-boss @queenxchallaxkillamonger@amirra88 @jaeee-http @omg-itsnadi @fonville-designs @sydneebleu @cherrystainedlipsbaby @behindthesehazeleyes27 @areubeingserved @kelbabyblue @academic-glowup @patzammit @yourwonderbelle @pennywisesmistress @squeackygee @noramushrooms @titty-teetee @ab-baybay @kreolemami @impossiblegiantrebelbasketball @dangerouslovefanfic @heladoom @renesmeeharelds @zaddysqueen7 @alyxkbrl @hello-therree @taylorveebee @a-dizzle777 @deidrashouseofpain @coldmuffinbanditshoe @evemej @chaselovinggert @ben-wyxtt @designerwriterchic @chrisgalore @jennmurawski13 @rynabarnesrogers @yunggyeezyy @kemkem101 @dearkyrainez @minton131

#love maybe fic #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #Chris Evans X black reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #chris evans smut #angst fanfic #slow burn fanfic

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surveys4ever · 3 years

Text

Do you remember much from high school? I remember all of it!

Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Somewhere warm and remote where you can escape society and just be 100% together and in the moment.

Can you access the roof of the building you live in? Nope.

Do you know anyone who has a strong accent that is hard to understand? My husband’s family is all southern and when they start talking really fast on the phone, I have a hard time keeping up. He’s good at translating though!

If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? The pink CareBear on my thigh.

What was the last podcast you listened to? Do you listen to it regularly? Ummm..Bailey Sarian’s new podcast! I believe there’s only one episode but I’m honestly not much of a podcast listener.

Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist, and why do you think this is? I’m a pessimist because of anxiety.

When was the last time you moved house? Last yeah!

Have you ever held a gun? Did you fire it? Nope.

Do you like simple questions or deep questions that make you think? Depends!

When was the last time you threw up? Why were you sick? 8 years ago and I was drunk off my ass.

Are you on a first-name basis with your boss? (or last boss if unemployed) I’m my own boss but yes, I was on a first name basis with my last boss.

What brand is your laptop or computer? Apple!

Would you ever wear a bright orange shirt? Of course!

What was the last thing you wrote in a word document? I was helping Beebs write up schedules.

Who do you miss and what do you miss about them? I miss my grandparents, man. I haven't seen them in like 4 years and it makes me so sad.

What were the best and worst costumes you've ever worn? My parents put 0 effort into halloween one year and so at the last minute they put one of my dad’s shirts on me and drew a mustache on. I don’t know what I was supposed to be but everybody thought I was a boy and I was not happy.

Do you know anybody who is gay and married? I don’t actually! All the gay people I know are single.

What did you last take painkillers for? I had a toothache!

Have you ever shared a home with a friend? Nope.

What's the craziest or weirdest place you've ever slept? Idk about y’all, but I sleep in a bed.

What did you have for lunch today and who made it? I made mac & cheese!

Do you believe in anything supernatural like ghosts or ghouls? Nope.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? I stopped looking at the clock because I couldn’t sleep but like...6 hoursish?

Are you allergic to anything? How did you find out? Bananas. I’ve eaten them all my life and truly love them and then one day last year, I made myself a smoothie in the morning and I got SUPER nauseous with really bad back cramps. Was confused but I took ibuprofen and it went away after a few hours. The next day, same thing happened. Same with the day after that. And I couldn’t figure out why it was happening so I was like ‘k, it must be something I’m eating’. So I woke up and had a banana because I figured I'd play it safe. Got the same nausea and back cramps. So I skipped bananas for a few days and it didn’t happen at all. I looked into it and apparently that's a common allergic reaction. So I’ve never had them again.

What's your favourite Thai dish? I’ve actually never tried Thai food!

Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? I have them set for every 5 minutes from 5-9 am I think, haha! My husband is hard to wake up so he sets hella alarms on both our phones and our Google home. And I set a bunch and forget to delete them later.

What are you going to do when this survey is over? Probably go sew.

Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? I met my husband online! And they’ve all been great :)

What colour is the rug in your living area? We have carpet and I hate it.

Do you call it a couch, sofa, lounge or something else entirely? Usually a couch, sometimes a sofa.

Who is your favourite character on Friends? Chandler and Phoebe!

When was the last time you used a pair of headphones and what for? The other day I was cleaning so I had my AirPods in.

Describe the temperature of the area you're in right now. It is currently 70 and windy!

Who was the last very physically attractive person you saw? My husband :)

Have you ever had teppanyaki? I truly don’t know what that is.

How long does it take you to get ready before you go somewhere? It depends if I’m already ready or not. If I just need to get dressed, 5-10 minutes. If I need to do my hair, put makeup on, pick an outfit, and get dressed, probably like 3 hours.

Do you find it difficult to get rid of material possessions? It depends! Certain things I can look at and know I’m never gonna use it again or that I found something better to replace it but other things that are still perfectly good and I might use later? I hoard those a little bit.

What sort of games do you like to play? I like life simulators like Sims and Animal Crossing. But I also love a good board game!

What was the last candy you ate? I don’t remember!

Have you ever been hit in the face? What's the story? In the face with basketballs and dodgeballs a lot. And one time when I was like 13-14, I was crawling around after my little sister trying to tickle her and she elbowed me in the nose and made me bleed. We both cried.

Do you know anyone who is deaf? I do, actually!

Name one thing on your bucket list. Buy a house and foster a bunch of puppies.

#survey

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eyeslikefoxglove · 4 years

Text

Episode 14 - WangXian are a (v soft) Battle Couple & Foxglove is hella mad

Hi! Welcome to episode 14. I should be studying. It’s day two of morning runs, so my soul has left my body already, send help. Yesterday I went to buy plants with my mum and got so excited I just whacked on a bunch of eyeshadow because I haven’t seen the outside in weeks, I’m also wearing makeup today, because I have nowhere to go, but I really need to finish this bb cream before it goes bad, so my parents are getting my full fresh faced “woke up like this and put on mascara” routine (which is a fucking lie because I’m wearing at least three blushes and two highlighters). I’m determined to get this bitch down in under five minutes so I can have another five to do eyeshadow, I have way too much eyeshadow to not wear it (I have way too much everything except maybe mascara and eyebrow stuff).

Yes, if y’all were wondering I am in fact a makeup magpie. ANYWAY BACK TO THE ACTUAL THING WE ALL CAME HERE FOR.

(Btw further down I discuss once again how shitty I think the Yunmeng sibs’ parents are if that causes an issue for you)

Ok ok ok, so I was talking with damnpoe-2187 here about how we found that sometimes WWX crossed from gremlin into asshole when he tried to get LWJ riled up. Like in the Cold Springs, putting our shippers hearts aside, that was a dick move and he should have stopped undressing the second LWJ went from annoyed to incredibly uncomfortable. I find this scene the complete opposite, a show of character development if you will. It is kind of similar in that they’re both hurt, and alone (although this time is much more serious) and there was some undressing going on; however WWX here behaves like a fool in love considerate person and knowing how uncomfortable LWJ already is tries to make it easier for him. They’re also super soft and I’m weak.

A brief interlude from my one track mind: That pond is full of corpses isn’t it? Or at least the remnants of the Murder Turtle’s meals I suppose. Damn right WWX should not have gone into the water with an open wound, but think no one should go swimming in there without a full hazmat suit tbh (I want to pump them full of antibiotics at this point ngl)

So I love this tiny montage (is it even a montage) of the, getting themselves ready to kill the Murder Turtle.

Teamwooooooork.

Listen, I have read a few fics in which their mind-meld stays in place due to reasons and I need me more of those.

Ok, turtles don’t work that way, but then again, giant murder snake-Trex-turtle so that’s low on my list of priorities. What’s not low is the fact that this guy is knee deep into pretty much a mass grave and I want to take a few showers just watching him.

Yeah, I know exactly what he’s smelling and suddenly I hope I don’t have meat for lunch today tbh.

The screaming sword has always been fucking creepy and does LWJ’s fist clench mean that he’s also hearing them?

BATTLE COUPLE! BATTLE COUPLE! BATTLE COUPLE!

So I know killing the thing took them something like six hours. And while it feels quite a long time in the show, I think that, if they cut the scene with idk, JC running towards Lotus Pier, then back to them, then back to JC, but now the sun is in a different position, back to them, but now the blood from LWJ’s hand has dripped down his arm; and so on a so forth it’d convey more clearly how long it took for the Murder Turtle to die. I know fuck all about cinematography tho so feel free to ignore all this if it is in fact an abomination.

Tiiiiiiny interlude here to say that Yiling Patriarch!WWX is probably one of my favourite character archetypes. He’s slightly creepy, slightly amoral (smiling while torturing and murdering bad guys is still amoral ok), more than a bit on the Dark Side, cocky, smirky, a bit of an asshole a BAMF, a rebel with cause and yet he will still do the right thing, not despite his nature, but because of it. He’s kind of like a Chipped Spike? But you know, he doesn’t need electroshock to behave.

I just want a fic where he’s this Dark Lord of Evil in everyone’s eyes however the ‘good guys’ take a break from trying to off him because a bigger threat just popped up and they have no choice but to ask for his help. He agrees, keeps being his charming self while also saving everyone’s asses, LWJ is smitten.

TL;DR: The Necromancer is hot. Oh and nobody dare deny LWJ has a Yiling Patriarch kink.

Oh my, this is the part when I always get teary eyed.

WUJI ON A CELLO? DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME?

“Why hasn’t Jiang Cheng shown up and rescued me yet?” THIS IS ALL THE PROOF I NEED THAT WWX IS THE BABY SIBLING.

“Lan Zhan sing me a song”

IT IS HAPPENING, STAY FUCKING CALM EVERYBODY (I’m crying)

That slideshow of their best moments set to WuJi is a masterpiece, and also, it kind of drives home the point of “how tf did we go from flirting during summer camp to this mess”?

(Btw if that’s YiBo humming he’s got one hell of a deep voice)

Ok ok ok, so this moment had me spitting up my tea the first time I watched it. Believe it or not my dumbass thought these people were actually serious with the censorship and we’d get scraps of their actual relationship. Lots of charged moments like in some other western tv shows I’ve seen when two dudes have chemistry but “they’re not gay”, no longing glances, no tender touches, no being unbelievably soft with each other; just you know, amped up, because if I’m not mistaken you can be arrested in China for “promoting the gay”. I mean, they changed the beginning when people insult MXY’s sexuality to insulting his mental health; no one would think “ah yes, the gays are good” when they hear it used as a slur, but they still erased it completely. One of the things I thought they’d fully take away was WangXian, I mean, the into/outro is named Wuji, which, you know, still a mishmash of their names, but not their ship name. It is such a significant part of the story with all the “what’s the song name? Figure it out yourself” that if something were going to give away that they’re married with a kid it would be that. I thought we’d get an artful fade to black BEFORE LWJ would say the name not after. And also, YiBo is enunciating it so clearly that, even with the sound muffled and the blurriness I, who don’t speak Chinese, can make out the two syllables. That’s deliberate, I can say “WangXian” loud and clear without moving my lips too much. At this point in time I must assume someone in charge of looking for censorship violations in the show is a fan and just ignored it.

Censorship person 1: dude, isn’t that a bit too gay, maybe you shouldn’t greenlight it.

Censorship person 2: shut the fuck up, sit here and watch.

*a full rundown of the whole of CQL later*

Censorship person 1: oh my god they’re so in love and they deserve to be happy.

Back to the commentary: I’m sorry but I have a mighty need of a WWX & Peacock friendship ok? This might be me just wanting WWX and LWJ to make other friends besides each other but I think that the Peacock is just bitchy enough to not take any of WWX’s bullshit.

And the Yunmeng bros timing for banter strikes yet again.

That’s terrible quality fake blood btw.

@ Yunmeng disciples: STOP SHOOTING FUCKING KITES PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Oooof even with a change of clothes our boy is still looking rough as hell.

MY LOVELY YUNMENG SIBS BEING SOFT AND HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER.

It hurts my soul that the second JFM starts praising WWX for surviving the Murder Turtle our boy’s knee-jerk reaction is to start praising JC in return. It is instinctive, how many times must this have happened for him to know his brother won’t even get scraps of praise? (Seriously fuck their parents)

It was going so well, I mean, JFM had a point warning him to not say things in anger. But I thought he was going to tell him that it is because sometimes he’ll hurt someone without wanting to, yet, this asshole decided to, once again, remind his kid he thinks he’s a failure.

And here comes Mme Yu who I can only assume had a servant posted at the door to warn her when WWX woke so she could throw some verbal abuse at him. I mean, she must have been missing it.

And JFM’s misogynistic bullshit strikes once again, because why defend ALL your kids when you can insult your wife.

(Every time someone berates WWX for “intervening” I want to scream. I mean, seeing this I can believe why the society as a whole thought genocide was a good idea.)

I love how they use their kids as props in their fight, I mean it’s not like they have feelings or anything. This woman is gaslight-y as hell too “you don’t love your kid because I gave birth to him”, you can’t tell me saying that in front of the son she’s supposed to love isn’t going to hurt him. And she knows it, I mean, besides the Wen attack I’ve never seen her hit the kids (although I very much doubt she hasn’t), so a good part of the abuse must be verbal. There’s no fucking way a person who regularly uses words that way won’t realise where she’s aiming those arrows. Which means to her (to both) the kids are collateral.

But FR, the barely-out-of-adolescence disaster bi necromancer PTSDing all over the place and living in a mass grave was a better parent than any of the current adults in this thing.

Which brings me to another point, Shijie is textbook “the oldest sibling is just another parent” and I’m making myself very angry.

[this is when I start frothing at the mouth and itching to write a modern-girl(and friends)-dropped-in-CQL because someone has to be a positive adult influence in these kids’ lives and it sure as shit ain’t the ones in the actual show.]

CAN WE STOP BRINGING PEOPLE’S DEAD PARENTS INTO THE FIGHT?

*deep breath*

I am going to feed JFM & Mme Yu each other’s spleens. Look, listen, look and listen, let’s first talk about how calmly they lay out the facts of their lives, one is only loved because he’s been brought up in the shadow of his dead parents, the other knows with certainty his father dislikes him and his mother uses him as leverage in marital disputes. When have these two not exploded their emotions all over the place? Fucking never. Yet here they are, talking about this bullshit like some bout of inconvenient weather. They’re used to it!

And now let’s talk about yet again siblings-are-just-extra-parents, with an added pile of WWX’s terrible self awareness that, to the man who brought him up, his worth is due to his dead parents. Again I’m extrapolating, but with the amount of times Mme Yu brings up his parents in such a negative light I refuse to believe JFM hasn’t made all the “you’re so much like your parents” comments to him every time WWX does something right. I mean, telling an orphan about their parents if they ask is a good thing, but WWX seems starved for stories about his them, which leads me to believe JFM refuses to talk about the topic except to make those little comments. What a fucking stellar way to give someone all the trauma if you ask me. May also explain a lot of WWX’s self worth issues if the biggest praise he’s ever heard is that he resembles dead people, yes, people who were loved, but they’re dead, and it doesn’t look like any adult has bothered to go and differentiate WWX from ZSSR&WCZ.

I’m just really mad, despite all the silly anecdotes I put in here my parents are fucking great at parenting, so I know what good parents should look like, and this ain’t it.

Ok, so I made myself angry and I don’t know if I should move onto the next episode now or wait till tomorrow but thanks for reading!

#the untamed #cql #mdzs #mdzs live action #foxglove watches cql #foxglove watches the untamed #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #yunmeng shuangjie #yunmeng trio #yunmeng siblings #yunmeng bros #Foxglove is hella mad #good parenting? Less likely than you think

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installmentsweird · 4 years

Audio

The Album... y’all they were not playing with this one, but honestly, did we expect anything less. BlackPink served on this album, from badass, boss bitch songs like Pretty Savage, to songs with a more cutesy vibe(but still with some cheek), like Ice Cream with Selena Gomez, to the single girl anthem of Lovesick Girls, this album is just so fulfilling for your inner baddie, going through life, love, and heartbreak. Sometimes you just need this type of album and BlackPink just nailed this!

Oh and it was worth the wait!!

Let’s talk about music videos shall we?

youtube

I mean what an entrance, what an entrance!!! Like right out of the gate they are telling you what this is going to be. The visuals are absolutely stunning, Lisa’s entrance, honestly wish I could enter a room like that. Jennie’s white, icy set is gorgeous and the contrast with Jisoo’s red scene is incredible. And let’s not start with Rose’s hair, because why does she look like a dark fairy in a mystical forest? Lisa’s rap gives me life, like she goes hard and doesn’t let up. The vocals are gorgeous and honestly, it is such a triumphant first track for a return.

youtube

Ice cream, it honestly makes me want some. It is the perfect late summer song, just cute, with a bit of cheek. Lisa and Jennie tag teaming the rap, right out of the gate is insane. Jisoo is so adorable and her vocals are flawless and the Rose solo is everything. Selena compliments their vocals really well and adds so much to the song, plus she looks amazing. Also Lisa’s verse towards the end, chef’s kiss. This is just a fun, flirty, song.

youtube

This one is for us Lovesick Girls, whether you are single or not or recently broken up with, this is your song. There’s a boy in this video, it’s just that you rarely see it, but it adds so much to the story they are telling. They have somehow combined a sad song and a boss bitch song all in one, like how? But that is the best way to describe this song. Is it almost as iconic as Single Ladies, possibly, but both songs are doing different things. Anyway, I am probs vibing more with this song more because I am a bit lovesick let’s be real.

Now 3 fave songs from The Album:

Pretty Savage - Are we surprised?? Nope. No we are not. I mean this song describes BlackPink. Beautiful, but hella savage and ready to slay. This song conveys that and goes hard. It’s one of those songs that you listen to when you need that confidence boost and feel awesome.

Bet You Wanna feat. Cardi B - one of the most ambitious cross overs of 2020? Yes, I did not expect this. The vocals, like the vocals sis not need to go so hard on this song, but BlackPink never does anything half ass. Also the cheek... and all night hug *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* love it. Cardi has bars and did not hold back on this and it all just work so well. 5 queens on a track, yes please.

Lovesick Girls - I’m just feeling lovesick so this song fits. The vocals, beat, backlground music and rap, it’s truly iconic and like the perfect end of summer breakup or lovesick or end of fling song. It’s just a whole vibe and I adore it and need it currently for reasons...

In conclusion, this album had me shook from beginning to end, BlackPink truly showed their talent and chops and I am so excited to see what happens! Can’t believe this is just the first album...

#songs toreadby #blackpink the album #blackpink #blackpink lisa #blackpink jisoo #blackpink rose #blackpink jennie #badass #bossbitc #songs to dance to

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fanficobsess3d · 4 years

Text

period headcanons

wow I can’t believe I haven’t put out an anime fic yet, damn I really AM behind

this is my first headcanon for ~the boys~ so bear with me, but I just know that these are all fucking canon and yall can @ me

Also, I’m a little bitch on my period - I’m on it now and lemme just say BOY - so I’m basing this off of my experiences. I have heavy, painful, and emotional periods so….. if you cannot relate just enjoy what could be from the boys of class 1-A

Bakugo

He’s one of the only boys that will know what the fuck is going on with you

His mom is hella loud so it’s obvious that she’d educate her son on it

He may be a prideful asshole, but he was taught to be respectful and educated

He’s also not the type of guy to whine

So be prepared to hear a lot of insults when you whine

“oH mY FuKinh GOODDDDD!!!!”

“You are so annoying! I don’t sound like that!”

“Well, I’m so fucking sorry princess, I hate to break it to you, but you do fucking sound like that with your constant bitching!”

Yeah he highkey roasts you every single time you wanna start whining

But don’t be mistaken, the second you really start to feel the pain he’s genuinely worried

There have been a few times you’ve gotten really bad

You typically start feeling nauseous all day and don’t eat

So you collapse

Curled into a ball on the floor, groaning and moaning

The girls had been with you and hissed with sympathy, but you could already hear Bakugo yelling from the hall

“WhAT THE FUCKKK!”

He instantly scoops you up to hide in a classroom away from everybody

Setting you on the desk, you can see the worry in his eyes

He knew how you got when you were hit with the monthly hellfire rain waterfall

So he was prepared for this

But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t get mad about it

“Jesus fucking CHRIST Y/N!”

“‘M sorry, Katsuki….”

You were playing with your thumbs as he lightly knocked against your head with his knuckles with a scoff

“You need to take better care of yourself, dumbass. I feel like my hair’s gonna go gray every damn time you fucking collapse like that.”

“I tried! I felt like I was gonna get sick this morning! And the pain pills don’t work anymore!”

“Then we’ll fucking skip. Next time, don’t wait to tell me that it’s gotten that bad as you fall like a fucking idiot on the goddamn floor. Dumbass.”

You let a small smile slip onto your face

You knew that he had his own way of showing affection, so you couldn’t help it every time he went even the tiniest bit soft on you

You guys normally skip class after that

You sneak into your dorm to cuddle in your bed with your fuzzy blankets

And yeah you don’t forget the heating pad -- you have Bakugo: the human heater

He keeps a close eye on you the rest of the night, making sure you eat and pumping you full of pain meds to try and keep the pain at bay

But god FORBID you start crying

He is not the most emotional person so the second you start crying he’s like um

He just curls his hand around the back of your head and pushes your head into his chest

Letting his head fall into the crook of your shoulder as your sobs die down

“God, you’re so fucking dramatic, babe.”

“Shut up! The cat was fucking cute okay?!”

But he’s still there whenever you need something

Ask him to get stuff from the store for you and yeah he’ll do it

Prepare for the whining and groaning about it though

He’ll literally be on the phone with you the entire time just so he can be petty and grumble about it

But he’ll never admit that seeing you so distressed every month is more scary and stress inducing than literally everything else in his life

Because you’ve become his life

Not that he’ll tell you that

As for the sex part, I feel like he’ll only do something if you really ask for it or if you’re pissing him off

He’s a complete control freak, so if you think for a second that he’s gonna let you off after your attitude earlier….

Boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy you’re IN FOR IT

But he knows how much pain you might be in so he’s only gonna do it if the mood’s right

Otherwise he’s not gonna put any of him near any part of you because he accidentally read the situation wrong once and you freaked and then cried because you told him no

Yeah, that was a fun conversation

Bakugo was pissed when he found out the background about that answer

But if you are up to it, yeah y’all are going like seven rounds I SWEAR

That boy has the stamina of a fucking rabbit

Todoroki

This is also the only other guy who’s gonna know about uterus period stuff because of his sister

Yeah, he doesn’t know the specifics as much as Bakugo

But he’s aware of what’s happening

Honestly I feel like he’s one of the best ones to be around on your period tbh

Yeah, he’s quiet, but that makes your life much much easier when all you want to do is cry and scream at people all day

The second you get mad at something, he gives you that look

Everything will be fine, calm down

And it’s like everything is fine

You also know that he’ll be a little petty bitch if you decide to get mad at him about something

But then you’ll start crying because you didn’t mean to get mad at him and he’ll just smile at you because he knows that you genuinely do feel bad

As for the cramps, he’s already prepared

The second your period hits he just…. Knows

He knows you so well that he can instantly feel when your personality starts to change

So not even a period later he’s shoving chocolate and a teddy bear with a cute picture of you two, in your face

He does get really worried when the cramps get really bad though

Pain meds don’t really work on you, so the only thing that he can do is massage you with his left side

He knows that the heat helps so anytime your face contorts and your mouth lets out a grunt of pain he’s instantly massaging your stomach or back

My fatass cANNOT relate but N E WAYS

He’s not as dramatic as Bakugo but yeah, he does get really worried

He gets quieter than usual, if that’s even possible, and he never leaves your side

But that’s more for him than you since he knows that you get so caught up that you forget to take care of yourself sometimes

And he worries about you all of the time

Be prepared for a look if you start whining, though

He’s not really used to that

so if you start taking the immature route

whether because you feel bad or because you want to piss him off

Get ready for intimidating Todo

He kind of looks at you like you need to remember who you’re talking to.

But he does understand that there are some days when every little thing gets to you

So he’s always prepared to listen

“Why is it that I’m the only person on this planet who suffers!???? I swear to gooddddd my uterus is about to fuckING EXPLODE!!! AND THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT ITTTT! AAAAAA!”

“Baby-”

“Oh my god!!! You called me baby!” suddenly you’re bawling again

He picks you up and sets you in his lap, letting you latch onto his shoulders and neck

I highkey feel like he’s one of the guys who’d try and help by sex ngl

Like if you’re in his lap for longer than a second

Oop you’re getting it

It’s inevitable

You really don’t mind tho cause BOY is an orgasm on your period fucking hEAVEN

Shoto’s also a switch so like

Since you’re such a goddamn sub baby on your period, what he says goes

the second you throw a fit, BOOM you’re gettin fucked

he’d prefer if you cry over an orgasm than a shitty dog commercial and that’s the tea on that

Izuku

Little baby over here has no fucking idea what a period is

he was never really around girls much, so he never really learned

not to mention that schools barely cover it as it is

He knows it involves blood

He knows it involves your parts????

…. and yeah, that’s pretty much it

So the second you start complaining about it he gets all blushy and confused

You didn’t have time to explain, so the rest of the day was an adventure for him to try and figure it out

He gets instantly focused

He starts murmuring weird theories and writing down weird stuff as the day goes on

Noticing your weird habits and how you seemed to act like Kacchan

You became impulsive and you cried like four times before the first class ended

Not to mention how many arguments you got into

he was convinced for a wholeass solid period that a demon had literally possessed you

He was very, very, confused

But he wanted to find out why you were like that

Later on, you sat him down and explained everything

Granted, he blushed like a little school boy and it was an awkward conversation on his part

But you were irritated because it was so annoying to have to explain it to every boy ever

but you were just glad that he was respectful about it

He felt bad that you had to sit down and explain something so normal and commonplace to him

then you felt bad because you didn’t mean to be mean to him

or make him feel bad

Yeah, you started crying again

But now he understands everything and he feels, like, really bad

He doesn’t get why it’s the girls that have to suffer through everything

he also doesn’t understand why nobody pushed for more education about it

he now understand more of the stigma around women and he feels really bad about that because he genuinely had no idea

And wow you gave him a pat on the back after that came out of his mouth

That got him so lovely bonus points

But he has that glint in his eye that you know very well, and you instantly sweat drop as he begins to mutter ideas to himself

The next morning you show up to class and he instantly greets you with a hug and chocolate and very cooey gooey words that made Bakugo gag at his desk

Later on that night, he makes you guys the comfiest blanket fort and sets up a bunch of movies to watch

Every time you cry he borderline cries himself, hugging you to his chest and wrapping you guys with the blankets

Every time you are in serious pain he feels really bad and hovers over you like a mother hen

One time you collapsed and he instantly picked you up and ran to Recovery Girl in the health center

He genuinely thought you had died or something

But no, the cramps made you nauseous and you didn’t eat so your iron levels dropped really low and you passed out

He instantly freaked and kept shoving food in your mouth for the rest of the week

Now for the sex part

You were in pain more often than not, so it was a bad idea for anything sexual to happen

But yeah, you got horny on your period like, half of the time

Somehow the topic of period sex was brought up between you and Izuku and he had no idea that that was a thing

The look on his face when he realized it was probably the funniest fucking thing ever

His eyes bulged out of his head like those weird animal pens

But he actually thought about it and literally a look at you would have you pouncing on him

It was 50/50 on whether you’d be in the mood, though

Sometimes you just wanted to fuck

Sometimes you wanted to suck his dick until he cried

Other times you just wanted to cuddle his chest

and, yeah, sometimes you wanted to throw a plate at a wall

honestly i felt that

After the first time you’d had a successful sexual encounter on your period

You wished him luck on trying to figure out when to do each

He just looked at you with wide eyes

“Yeah, I’ll just warn you now, because of how wacky my emotions are, if you tried anything like what we just did and I was not in the mood, my uterus would’ve had a royal fit.”

“What do you mean?” he looked at you cautiously

You turned to him, your eyes a dark glint, “I mean, if I’m not in the mood for sex, I’m either going suck you, cry, or punch you. Good luck figuring out when I wanna do each one.”

He looked at how close you were in proximity and promptly scooted back a few inches, almost falling off of the bed

But you grabbed his arm and yanked him back until he was pushed into your neck

“Yeah, also you can’t stop cuddling me until I say so, either.”

“... so as long as I do what you ask you won’t kill me, right?”

you had to giggle at that, he was just so naive at times

you hadn’t meant to come off so intimidating, because you were really happen that he was nice enough to take care of you like t

a lot of boyfriends you’d had in the past had been real assholes about it

“H-hey this is serious! How can I take care of you if i’m dead?!?!”

you turned to look at him

“That’s your only concern?” there was weird glint in your eye

“... am I supposed to be worried about something else?”

yeah, you jumped him again

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araminthe-ispwitch · 3 years

Note

I've just read your fic Your True Name Is on FF and Ao3. Then I noticed it hasn't been updated since 2017. PLEASE TELL ME IT'S NOT DISCONTINUED!!! IT'S TOO AWESOME!!

Okay, so... this is gonna be awkward to reply to because just a few posts down this is my announcement that I ain’t giving up. XD

However! You’re right, it’s been 3 years since the last update and jesus christ has it really been 3 years??? I’ve just been quietly watching this fic gather more and more hopeful readers and not even reply to any messages so I could surprise you all, but I don’t think I can go on any longer and not say something concrete just to be real with you.

Okay, so the bottom line is that the status of “Your True Name Is” is... uncertain.

Very uncertain.

Very very uncertain because I am still writing Chapter 3 UUUUUUUUGH

I’m not gonna bore you with all the details of the past three (three!!!) years. Basically, ever since I started with my thesis, I haven’t been keeping up with BNHA’s manga or anime at all. You’ll notice it on my list of published fanfics; I even started another multi-chaptered fic for another fandom—one that gripped me for months during my last two years in college and eventually became the center point of my own undergraduate thesis. XD

After graduating, I pretty much delved into other hobbies and fandoms for a year. Even once I finally got hired, I didn’t get to come back to BNHA at all (psst I got into the MXTX novels’ fandoms for a full half-year just reading all the good fics). So at the moment, I am very disconnected from the fandom and the current story indeed. I wasn’t even here when the NSFW ban happened...

I wouldn’t mind having a long refresher course of watching the anime in order to continue Chapter 3, but at the moment, I’m not feeling the passion to do so. That’s what’s always so hard about writing for me, especially with multi-chaptered fanfics: once I lose my groove, it can be highly difficult to just sit down and write. This is why I am now actually gravitating towards creating one-shots instead—that, or just keeping WIPs to myself first until I’m actually nearing the end of the story.

This is currently my situation: I’m busy with work (9 hours every day, from Monday to Saturday, thank god for weekends) but the rest of my free time is mostly dedicated to my hobbies. I am not actively writing fanfics at the moment—my hobbies tend to circulate and I hyper-fixate on them for months at a time, so one moment, I’m into reading manga, and the next, I’m playing a game for several days. You may have seen that my Liked posts section is hella active—yep, during these three years, I got into playing Food Fantasy, watched a few anime shows, and all that.

I just didn’t fully come back to Tumblr and start reblogging stuff because it felt awkward to be active here when I’m not even posting a new chapter, and still keeping you guys very frustrated with the cliffhanger. XDDD

Segue but I can’t believe I missed @incorrectknb closing down last 2019 GODDAMMIT I HAD SAVED UP SO MANY POSTS AND MY LAZY ASS DIDN’T SUBMIT THEM

This is already getting too long so I’ll just wrap this up quickly:

Your True Name Is

Status: Uncertain. Don’t wanna say it’s fully on-hiatus...

However, I’m half-afraid that it’ll end up like my KnB highschool AU fic bc...

GHSR (Kuroko no Basuke fic)

Status: Discontinued...

Half of the numerous things I’ve planned for this, I’ve never even jotted down. I had no clear goal of how each chapter would go unless I was ready to write them... Not a good habit...

Yep, to any readers of my KnB highschool AU fic, I’ve finally confirmed it. Not even sure if you’re actively waiting for the next chapter (because jesus this one stopped at 2016!), but I don’t know what to do with it anymore and I’m actually working on other fics for that fandom (still multi-chaptered but focuses on one ship each instead so it doesn’t get convoluted). For my BNHA fic, I still do want to continue because I haven’t forgotten how much I’ve enjoyed crafting the Secret Child AU. However, expect now that updates for it will really be few and far between. :(

Shoutout to some people who’ve sent me non-anon messages but I don’t think I got around to answering them: @jaysfandomcorner, @kateitron, and also a shoutout to @theywaitforshewho, who was the first to admit that yes, my fanfic is probably dead—but also proceeded to recc it to their list of cool BNHA fics. XDDDDDDD Sorry, my friend, for not replying. Wanted to surprise y’all with an update but... well.

Okay, that’s all I can say for now. After this post, you may see me reblog some overdue stuff and reply to some other asks not related to YTNI. For real tho, guys, you have no idea how much it gladdens my heart to see you so excited and amazed at what I wrote. “Your True Name Is” is my most popular work in both AO3 and FFNet—and all because I tried writing the one AU we have always been waiting for. Every now and then, I see notifs about people liking and favoriting it. I will try my best to get back into its groove!

For now, however, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support! You guys rock!!! ^u^b

#Ara gets asked #jesus christ HAS IT REALLY BEEN THREE YEARS???#three years of on-and-off activity and just constant lurking in Tumblr...#okay imma reblog and reply to some stuff now #and then disappear again... yeah...#but seriously guys i'm still glad you love my work!!!#I WILL TRY MY BEST TO CONTINUE IT!!!

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steve0discusses · 4 years

Text

Yugioh S4 Ep 11: Rafael’s Lian Yu Experience

Ah, lets tune into Yugioh where Duke has decided to do some off-roading in the worst car and in the worst place.

Ah yes, the normal interaction you would have with a desert and your expensive vintage car. Duke has been struggling since he became a protagonist to stick to a defining trope. Now that Serenity is gone, and now that they aren’t watching a duel for Duke to be a downer about, I guess his only other tick is that he sucks at driving?

Again there was a perfectly serviceable truck back at the RV but they just really like to put miles on this car (which doesn’t have it’s lights on I believe, which...good job, Duke).

And he just launches these two inexplicably out of the car. Because Yugi might be losing his whole damn soul on the other end of this desert, but we will have cartoon shenanigans, damn it.

It really does look like Dukes looking through the wrong side of his binoculars here...that extra level of Duke.

Speaking of extra level, hows that horse thing going? Where Yugi is riding a horse for the first time in his entire life?

Because, apparently the show has decided that Yami should be really good at horses (????????). He can’t read any Egyptian, he doesn’t have any memories of his Pharaoh life, he can barely use magic, but apparently, he can game a horse. Only problem, is that this art team of high octane vehicle enthusiasts seems totally unaware of how horses work---I’ll just show you. This scene GOES places, and I will absolutely record it so you can watch it in it’s entirety in a separate post.

(see more horse under the cut)

The horses leg didn’t move the entire slide down the mountain y’all, he just stuck one hoof in front of him and power-slid down a freakin cliff like he was wearing horse Wheelies.

What the Hell?

Anyway, welcome to our new dueling platform.

You wouldn’t believe it, but it’s on a very tall thing. I know, in this show? They’re dueling on a tall thing? Whaaaaat?

This is a hilariously weirdly perfectly cylindrical land mass 10/10.

So Rafael’s whole deal is so freakin weird.

Rafael’s a weirdo. I was ready for Alister, since Alister introduced himself in a Maximilian Pegasus suit, but I just wasn’t expecting Rafael to be the weirdEST youknow? Of the three? Like he’s up there with Arcana and the band-saw ankle-slicing machine. Just a really choice human being who makes really good decisions.

God bless this artist’s obsession with edgy cargoes.

Anyways, another fun fact about Rafael is he gets more and more jacked with every single frame it feels--his muscles are like the quality to go fight Cell, but all he does is play cards.

Also he’s obsessed with justifying mass murder on a global scale so...he seems a little bit like an X-men villain in that way, except he’s...just a normal ass dude who got really buffed.

Rafael needs a reason to want to destroy all humanity--that’s really the big dilemma that the writing crew was given, but the way they got there...was a lot.

Lets dive right into it, starts off kind of normal, run of the mill “gotta cleanse the world yada yada” and then just starts somersaulting down a steep hill like in Princess Bride.

First of all, the show decides to reveal to us the entire story via a Rebecca google search, and then, once we’re like WTF? we get to hear it in it’s entirety and it is way weirder the second time.

So um...this Titanic cruise ship.

Yeah. I know. That’s a lot of Princess Peach dresses.

(welcome back, glass of OJ that every child on this show drinks with every meal)

Honestly there is no greater curse in this show than being rich. If you’re a rich dude you are SCREWED. Some force of nature is going to come for you just at any possible moment. You will get abducted....MANY TIMES. You will lose your parents, repeatedly. Your wife will die shortly after marriage. Some asshole will walk up and just remove your eyeball and replace it with a magic golf ball. You will never be the best at cards. Just never be rich in the Yugioh universe. It is better to be dead.

Speaking, of dead--just did a Rebecca-brand google search--do you know how many people fit on an average cruise liner?

It’s more than you think.

Woooooooooooooooooooooo that’s about 3000 people! Just nonchalantly! (and yo, I went mid-range, some cruise liners carry like 6000)

We passed so many 69′s just now!

Now there is some weird issues with this episode where Rebecca was like “The only survivor was Rafael” and then later, Rafael mentions his family is still alive--kinda sounds like the translation shenanigans are back at it, where the English version is desperately trying to keep people from dying, but like, the Japanese version drew a 600 ft tidal wave that ate up this cruise-liner like it was a bathtub toy made of paper.

But sure, maybe some escape boats made it out safely from a catastrophe that is 800 times worse than the Titanic. Sure they did.

PS History Channel got into a weird trend in the 00′s where they used to do these series of rogue wave horror stories--do you remember those? Anyways, one of my friends got super spooked by rogue waves and had it as one of her top ten fears. At the time I was like “lol you’re not gonna get rogue waved on a cruise are you kidding?” But then again, maybe she watched Yugioh and this episode scarred her for life?

Especially since this crazy traumatic experience was followed by three years of being stranded on an island and going COMPLETELY insane. Like not just...partial--Rafeal has absolutely no grip on reality anymore. Like, at all. He’s on another plane from most other Yugioh villains.

It’s like Lord of the Flies but there’s only one person in it. The Lord of the Fly.

This is a kid’s show.

Anyways, on the island, Rafael got hella jacked. So there was that one plus. He did eventually become a very huge person in his adulthood, although he did get a Mokuba haircut for a little while. This honestly says more about Mokuba’s hair routine than anything else.

He also spent some time seeing his lost family members as these three cards that he likes to pray to. Occasionally they fall into the ocean and he has to dry them off. Rafael lived a kind of boring weird life cycling between hallucinations and staring into the ocean.

The show didn’t bother to tell us what Rafael was eating or explain how that outfit lasted 3 years. But, they did describe that after 3 ENTIRE YEARS, Darts decided to just start harassing him.

Which...OK...and then there was this next sequence

I mean this was the only interaction that Rafael had in three years so maybe he forgot that getting drowned by people who harness the power of the ocean isn’t like...good behavior?

Anyways, back in the real world, in the city and wearing his hot topic grunge vest well into his early 30′s, Rafael decided that everyone just...deserves to die. Traffic sucks. Cities sucks. There’s too much crime. Everyone should be dead. It was very strange and sudden twist. You go from having all the money in the world, to no money, and then back to all the money and it’s like “Central heating SUCKS! KILL EVERYONE!”

Then Rafael made this mention of his family that has to be a translation thing.

Those guys have got to be dead. I mean this is Yugioh. There were no survivors. I’ll be very surprised if they pop up next episode, I’ll even dock them off the Death Count if they never died, I am that certain they won’t still be dead in this upcoming arc. They have clearly been replaced with paper cards. Like I wouldn’t be surprised if their souls were somehow inside these particular cards he carries.

I didn’t cap it, but to walk on the island you walk across a glowing oricalchos bridge and it was very goofy.

And then these guys showed up, reminding me again that they are still on this show, because tbh, I completely forgot.

I kinda miss when they were the weirdest people here and I just thought Rafael was another boring guy in handlebar muttonchops.

Anyway, it’s a short update today. I’m a little behind on things in other places, so that’s fine by me. I keep hoping that soon I’ll be back to doing like 2 of these a week. Especially since I recently decided to start blocking twitter and other places I’ve been wasting a little too much time on, maybe then it’ll funnel my efforts to here? We’ll see. Next episode we’ll find out how long all of these guys wearing jackets in the desert are faring.

And here’s a link to read these from the beginning.

#yugioh #yu gi oh #photo recap #episode recap #yugi muto #raphael #rex and weevil #tea gardner #rebecca hawkins #joey wheeler #tristan taylor #duke devlin #how to completely destroy your expensive car #S4 #Ep11

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sabinefm · 4 years

Text

( bruna marquezine , cis female , peach ) welcome to aida&stefano , SABINA REUBE ! thank you for choosing to stay here. in this form it says that you go by the SHE / HER , you’re TWENTY THREE years old , you’re originally from SAN FRANCISCO , and you’ve been staying here for ONE YEAR . it also says you’re known to be + RESOURCEFUL , but also - SELFISH. that really shouldn’t be a problem though. check in at the front , hope you enjoy your stay ! (the click of heels, hot sand under your bare feet, chocolate covered strawberries, the imprints a bra leaves on your skin, red lipstick staining your fingertips )

ABOUT THE MUN. i hope this email never finds you

hello all, my name is pepper and i have never been on time for anything, ever in my life sdjkdskj this is especially true today, rip. no but honestly, i never thought i would actually get accepted into this beautiful rp so i stalled checking acceptances cause i’m a Scaredy Cat and that made me really late, and then i ended up taking the rest of my coworker’s shift cause she had to go and thus ended up coming home even later than i thought which has made me really really late... BUT against all the odds i’m here! and ready to party! and tell y’all about my bby sabina! but first a little bit about me, i am twenty four (ew), i can’t cook (rip), and i currently spend most of my lonely quarantine days either watching anime or scrolling through tiktok. i am canadian but every canadian that meets me thinks i’m american and i don’t know why. when i was a child i had an irrational (or yk very rational) fear of sharkboy from sharkboy and lava girl, and tbh it has never left me. i was also afraid of gill from kim possible so you can imagine my horror when that fish f*cking movie won an oscar?? when i was younger i also thot god looked like king triton from the little mermaid cause he was white and he had a beard yk. it fit in my little brain. and finally i just recently discovered girl in red and therefore feel like i finally got my bi girl card,,, feeling validated in this chillis tonight. and if that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about me idk what will. anyways, that’s officially enough about me onto who we’re all really here for, ms sabine!

BIO. the lengths i would go to to both get attention and avoid it... astounding tldr ; daughter of a guy who created a dating site + app, came to a&s after leaving her husband to be at the alter after catching him cheating with her mother, wants to be a bad bitch, sometimes succeeds.

THEN.

sabina came into the world the child of a mediocre stay at home mom and a penniless entrepreneur so it goes without saying that she had very little. her dad had a lot of passion and a lot of drive but no one would really give him a chance, and her mother kind of only married the man because she was expecting him to make it big enough for her to never have to work another day in her life so? yeah she was hella disappointed tbh

but not sabina! she looked up to her father so much as a child. while her mom was kind of ~emotionally unavailable~ her father was too, but like at least he had a dream he believed in, yk? he wanted to help people fall in love and sabine being the big romantic she was as a child had never heard of anything so noble. her daddy was her hero. sabina honestly had big daddy’s little girl vibes until she was like 22 tkjsdkjd

one day when their family credit card got rejected one too many times sabina’s mother called it quits on yk the whole mother gig. she left sabina on a bench outside of the grocery store while she went to go home and ‘get some cash’ which even at seven sabine knew was a damn lie cause they were too broke to have any damn cash. and yeah that was the last sabina heard of her for a long ass time. it was a reverse ‘dad went to get some cigarettes’ situation but just as traumatic honestly.

although not as much for sabine’s dad. that man literally saw his wife leaving him as a minor setback and moved on. he threw himself harder into his work, to the point where sabine barely saw him. this was the start of sabine desperately trying to compete with her father’s business for even a sliver of his attention. this was a battle she usually lost.

sabine raised herself for a while there, since her father yk remarried his job and her mother was following the jonas brother’s cross country. she became both very independent and very lonely for a child, which was an odd combination that both haunted sabine for pretty much the rest of her life after that point and lead her to make most of her worst decisions. but that’s a story for another time, because right when all hope was lost sabine’s father won the lottery. literally.

all at once they were five million dollars richer. they went from nothing to everything real quick. and this marked a change in the reube’s lives in a way sabine couldn’t have even imagine at the time.

sabine’s father hector used the money to fund his business and that shit blew up! he created a site by the name of loveisblind that was in the ring with the likes of match.com and christianmingle yk, one of those dating sites. everyone on loveisblind is set up on blind dates based on the information they fill out on their profile and are only allowed to see each other when they reach a certain point of emotional intimacy. the site had wild success rates, and got very popular, blah, blah, the point was the reubes? suddenly rich af!

and you think that would give hector more time to spend with his daughter right? no. it gave hector the money to hire nannies for his daughter.

yes, somehow despite hector no longer having to work himself to the bone, sabine saw him even less. tragic really. she really became that lonely rich girl trope real quick, and this is what unfortunately got sabine into the habit of seeking the attention she wasn’t getting from her father in other men and women, which she is not proud of.

that unfortunately didn’t fill the void that sabine had but you know what did? making the loveisblind app so her daddy would love her. basically around the time that tinder started gaining traction and getting popular, people stopped going on the loveisblind site and started instead turning to apps. her father was trying and failing to get into that market, and sabina, being yk, actually a lot more intelligent than her father ever gave her credit for, created the app for his site and pitched it to him over his lunch one day. it was honestly one of the first times sabina can remember her father really paying attention to her in the longest time. it was also the proudest she’s ever seen him.

the app was a big success! a whole new generation was using it and finding love, including one ms sabine reube. in the early days of the app launch sabine met her prince charming, christopher ‘kit’ johannson. he swept her right off her feet, and she fell HARD, and when they debuted their relationship it wasn’t long until they kind of became the face of the app?? like sabine’s father was the creator after all, the fact that his daughter found love on the app too was big news for a while. people followed their relationship and strived for something like that for themselves. sabine didn’t know it at the time but they were basically a walking advertisement, and her father was LIVING for that.

fast forward a bit and your girl went to yale for computer engineering and business (did her daddy’s status and money ease the way? maybe man, nepotism am i right) whilst kit went to harvard, they were long distance for a bit before they graduated and kit very publicly proposed (the whole thing was well recorded too, gotta get that gram), and then both sab and kit moved in together and both started working for their families respective companies. it was around then that sabine started to understand just how much and how often kit was cheating on her. it was a real wakeup call.

sabine ended up breaking down to her father about her suspicions, and he basically ended up telling her to suck it up and think of the business. the fact was sabine and kit, the face of their new generation and one of the first successful couples from the app getting married and living happily ever after was amazing for the company. and the two of them calling the whole thing off just because of a little infidelity just wasn’t going to cut it.

now once again, this is where sabine’s deep desire to be loved and accepted really bites her in the ass. this was one of the first times sabine’s father had ever really asked her for anything so... she did it. or at least she did her best to do it. she lasted until the wedding day around the time where she caught kit and her own mother (who she only invited out of a deep rooted need to actually know the woman who gave birth to her again) going at it in the coat closet of their wedding venue. yeah, at that point sabine pretty much snapped, blacked out, smashed a whole wedding cake over kit’s head, and took their honeymoon to venice on her own. she arrived at Aida&Stefano with running mascara in a ruined wedding dress trying to ask about a honeymoon suite. it was a whole mess, but you know what so is sab so at least she was on brand.

NOW.

after sabina arrived she spent about a week mourning her failed almost-marriage and yk, destroyed family before she decided to fuck it all and reinvent herself. she desperately wanted to become someone new, someone unrecognizable from who she was before, even if it was only on the inside. so she cut her hair (the first step to every transformation) hardened everything soft about herself and made the irrevocable decision to become a bad bitch. she (mostly) succeeded. kind of.

sabine basically curb stomped out the soft, hopeless romantic people pleaser in her and decided to become someone more unsympathetic. someone who puts her own needs first instead of burning herself up to keep others warm (cause what good has that ever done her before?). someone who people would be afraid to hurt but who wouldn’t even feel pain anyways. and to sum it up that person is a heartless bitch. or at least she tries to be.

i’m gonna stop here because this is already a lot longer than i wanted it to be and i haven’t even got to the other sections yet rip but you get the point i feel

PERSONALITY. *feels nothing* mmm, don’t like that *feels something but like too much* mmm not a fan of that either

most of this is tbd because i’m still developing her but

VAIN. the kind of girl who will file her nails or check herself out in the mirror while you’re talking to her. will reapply her lipstick in the rearview mirror of her car while she’s driving. checks herself out in any reflective surface, i mean i would too if i looked like bruna but Still

KIND. even though sab tries to be a hard ass she’s probably the most loyal, generous, kind person you would ever meet deep down. like she puts on this persona of being heartless, but if anyone needs her she will be there for them. kind of hates that she’s such a softie sometimes but she can’t help it.

EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE. doesn’t want to be hurt again and will do pretty much anything to avoid that. tries to keep people at arms length especially romantically. loves making friends though, and will indeed spoil them.

HEADCANNONS. who wants to hire me as their maid i’m not gonna clean im just gonna wear a cute maid outfit dust like 6 things and bend down a lot

has the vibes of that drunk rich aunt that’s always smoking like sexily as she looks far into the distance and wears like a super luxurious coat. will gossip with you. will buy you things your mom won’t. will cuss out your toxic father at the dinner table. that’s her energy.

unfortunately actually does smoke. i hate

okay fun fact, the only reason sabine went to university for computer programming and business was because she felt her father wanted her to. she honestly has no real passion for the subject and just wanted to use her talent to make her father as proud of her as he was on the day she debuted that app to him. but now that making daddy proud isn’t like the only thing occupying her entire brain sabine like is like ??? wait what do i actually want to do with my life ??? and it took her a while to figure it out but after a while she fell back on one of her passions, art. she’s actually making a graphic novel aimed towards young adults about a modern day hades and persephone vibe, kind of about a girl who falls in love with the grim reaper and the lengths she goes to to chase after her (yes it is a Lady Reaper) into the depths of hell,,, it’s wild. she’s very proud of it but also kind of shy about it tbh. her go to critic is georgio, because she knows that little shit will be honest and yk what she respects that.

but when it comes to making actual money your girl turns to cam work most of the time, because well. at the very least it’s quick, easy, and semi discreet. and sometimes she gets something out of it too. she figures it’s a win win, and she’s been doing it for about a year now, mostly because she absolutely refuses to use any of her father’s money.

is allergic to cucumber.

has a different 'relationship’ like every week or so, along with a few one night stands peppered in. unfortunately still attracted to people who are bad for her (kit for example was an asshole and a cheater and DEFINITELY conservative like she messed up on that one), but is also very afraid of falling in love again and letting herself get hurt, so she normally doesn’t let things last too long before she starts self sabotaging.

if you ever catch sabine with like... her nails growing out or her nail polish chipped, something is wrong. like something is deeply wrong. sabine will have her nails done in the middle of the apocalypse, the only reason they would be less than perfect is if she is having a breakdown. always has colour on her nails, and usually it’s a shade of red, purple, or black.

always has wild ass stories to tell about her tinder dates or one night stands and will tell them without shame for your entertainment. is a great storyteller honestly, a talent she got from her mother but she doesn’t want to admit that.

fun fact, her mother mariah was PISSED when hector got rich AFTER she left him and tried for years to sue him or something but no dice. she was so angry and vengeful over the whole thing that she took the opportunity of being invited to her daughters wedding to get back at her husband where it hurt, his business. thus sleeping with kit. didn’t really think about how her daughter might feel about the whole thing because she was yk blinded by rage, but that’s just how mariah is so i mean,,, rip sabina.

shops when she’s sad, or happy, or angry, or confused sdkjdsj will use any excuse to shop, and at this point she has more clothes than she knows what to do with. her style can be kind of out there at times, but she will let you borrow things though.

she has a cat named momo. yes that is inspired by her being the peach skeleton. also has a parrot named poe i think. i also have the urge to give her a snake but... i will resist. so sabine wants a snake for sure

her favourite colours are black and red

she is a horrible terrible driver. don’t drive with sabine unless you’re an adrenaline junkie or like want to die tbh

her dad 100% set up the relationship between kit and sabine as a pr stunt, but sabine doesn’t know that yet and when she finds out her father used her like that ooh boy things are gonna get wildt. as it is now sabine just thinks she disappointed him and it’s kind of eating her alive. half the reason she’s staying here is because she doesn’t want to face him or yk her old life anymore. her father is so caught up in the shame she caused him that he hasn’t even tried to call her after the whole thing and the one time sabine got hella drunk and called him all he did was tell her what a disappointment she was and ask when she was coming back to work so we love ~parenting~

WANTED CONNECTIONS. girls will “🥺🥺🥺🥺” their way out of everything

close friends please and thanks, best friends also please, uh, can i get some awkward one night stands that avoid each other at all cost, can i get a neighbour who’s ear sabine is always talking off in the hallway between their rooms even tho they just want to go home but can’t because sabine is Oversharing, maybe a flirtationship, but also i would love an enemy (it could be for a ridiculous reason or a completely valid reason but either way please give it to me), someone she goes out dancing/partying with at piccolo, a sibling like relationship, a confidante, someone who she trusts to read her comic and maybe even do some linework, and absolutely anything else okay my brain is fried rn but i want it all! please like this and i will slip and slide into your dms <3

#ostellointro #me: *sees a nice neat intro at an appropriate length* I Want To Do That #this monstrosity: bitch you thot

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lady-olive-oil · 5 years

Text

So Into You: Chapter 3

Note: I finally got the chance to update SOMETHING. Good gawd. I’m not gonna waste y’all’s time, so here we go!

Warnings: if ya squint and tilt your head to the left it’s bare minimum

Word Count: 3,465

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Premier days contain the following; hair and makeup, fasting for days, needing to fit in said perfect outfit picked out months ahead of time, sneak peak pics for the gram and occasional teasing from a pair of old friends.

“All my life, been grindin' all my life. Sacrificed, hustled, paid the price, Want a slice, gotta roll the dice

That's why all my life, I been grindin' all my life. All my life, been grindin' all my life. Sacrificed, hustled, paid the price, Want a slice, gotta roll the dice

That's why, all my life, I been grindin' all my life.”

Getting into the groove of premier night, the sounds of the late great Nipsey Hustle rant through the walls of my decent sized hotel room. There’s curl wands on the counter; a few makeup cases opened, couple of dresses on hangers in the spacious bathroom and just wine flowing mixed with the good vibes.

Chris has stayed over my house over the weekend for the premier of Endgame. Yes a few kisses were shared, slight touching here and there but that’s all it’s been. Sharing a bed with him with our feelings out in the open, it’s really different now for the both of us. The way he makes me feel now, is way different than before. We agreed we’d switch up the tradition and get ready at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, in separate rooms that happen to be 3 doors down from each other.

A familiar voice had been heard, on the other side of the door, over the music to suddenly stop the flow. Becoming alert, I had tightened the tie on my silk robe. “Knock knock.”

Upon opening the door, I had to contain the excitement when Cleo came in. “Come on in, come on in!”

“I heard there was a certain goddess, that needed a dress for the one of the biggest Marvel movies ever. I of course care prepared and granted what the queen asked for.” As she set up the dress on the rack next to Danai’s, I unzipped it and was floored.

Cleo does not disappoint at all. The dress was white, with a gold beaded bodice flowing down from the breast line; cut out shoulders with spaghetti straps, a cape and it hit right at floor length. It was more elegant as I could imagine. A growing smirk appeared on my face, as a sinister thought came to mind and boy I was ready for it.

“That look, I know that look Roxanne.” Danai was always on my toes when it came to certain moments. Especially in rehearsals, we formed a tight bond and I couldn’t be happier to have her in this moment.

“Oh lord that look. The one look that says, “I plan on making guys sweat.” Kind of look. Know it all too damn well.”

“Whatever do you ladies mean?” I tried to play it off, but my face was giving it away too easily.

“Who are you planning on having to stop in their tracks this evening, Ms. Alexander?” Danai asked out of curiosity, while getting her makeup done.

A soft shrug and a smirk, was given. “That’s for me to know, and for everyone to find out later if anything happens from it.”

“Well, we gonna guess who the mystery man is.” Cleo arched a brow in triumph.

“Cause he’s putting a smile on that gorgeous face, and we wanna know who.” Tessa, who is also one of my good friends, was always one to get on the case for anything.

“Guess away ladies. You may or may not get it.”

Getting my hair curled, I felt a sense of adrenaline rush through me with trying to keep this a secret. Over 30 plus years of friendship, with added pent up sexual frustration, has come to a halt with a kiss and revelation.

Upon moisturizing my legs to shine in these pictures, I received a text from Chris. Only god knows what he wants at a time like this.

Chris: I bet you’re gonna look real good tonight, baby doll.

Baby doll? That’s a new one. The grin on my face must’ve gave it away, by the glares I got from the girls.

“Now now who's making Kida all happy? Is it Milo?” Tessa never missed a beat when it came to guessing games. As far as she knows, I hope she doesn’t guess Chris. Responding back to his text I had to be quick, I had to hide my phone away from the vultures. Yet he replied with quick like speed.

Me: baby doll? That’s a new one, Evans. You planning on showing out tonight? Being America’s golden boy and all.

Chris: You know I will be. I have Cleo to thank for styling me.

“She’s grinning like a Cheshire Cat! Who is the man?” Cleo grabbed my arm and shook vigorously. The girl had a vice grip on me and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“If I tell y’all, will y’all stop asking?”

“Yes!”

“Ok damn.” I bit my bottom lip feeling anxious about delivering the news. We weren’t legit yet but I could trust them to keep it quiet. Geneva and Miyah already know so, why not tell the rest of my tribe? Well part of the tribe anyway.

“The Milo Thatch to my Kidagakash, is Evans.” I say with my eyes closed, awaiting the peanut gallery as I slipped into my dress and heels.

Danai was giddy as a kid in a candy store. “I knew it!!! Y’all got closer over rehearsals. I knew that whole only childhood friends thing wouldn’t last.”

“What about Delilah?” Cleo arches a brow, before zipping me up in my dress, then helped the other girls.

“Tuh. What about her?” If my hunch was correct, I would I think she’d be cheating on Chris without a second thought. She already has her name out there being a low budget actress and all, thinking she’s high and mighty.

With a slight nudge from Tessa, we shared a smile. “She has an inkling that little miss Delilah is messing around on Chris. If she is then he has every right to explore whatever he’s got going on with Roxie. They deserve it.”

Cleo added they final touches on my makeup. “That is true. Well, ladies you’re all set and ready to go. The car is outside and I’m sure your dates are too. I’m sorry I can’t make it, already have plans.”

“Girl why aren’t you going? Is it Jake?” I asked with a smile.

“Ha ha, very funny. It kind of is but it’s me, him and Callie. We’re doing dinner at the house and his date got canceled. No it wasn’t me this time, I need to get my hit count up though. Anyway, I gotta get Callie from her dads. Send me pictures!” On her way out she said her goodbyes, and we all headed out as well.

The look she gave me when she saw Chris come out of his room, was sinister. She pointed down the hall towards me and he froze instantly. When was the last time he saw me in a dress? My birthday party actually, and it was a sundress. This one was form fitting and gods know I loved every moment of it.

Now Chris on the other hand, he looked like a god. His elegant royal blue suit, paired nicely with a simple black and dress shoes. He looked regal almost, yet commanding as he always did when he walked into a room. He held out his hand to me, I graciously take it as he spun me around.

“You look amazing. God damn I can’t believe I was blind to not see the beauty in my best friend. I mean I always knew you were beautiful but, damn. Look at my girl.”

“Chris honey, you’re rambling.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at his bashful nature, as I pecked his cheek. I let the ‘my girl’ comment slide for now.

“You look good too, hella good actually let me check you out now.”

Having him give me a full turn, showing off the goods here and there I could tell he felt good. The smirk on his face was proof enough for me. I could tell he hung out with Anthony Mackie too much.

“Salvatore Ferragamo? Nice job.”

“Yes actually, custom too. You’re good Roxie, very good.” Offering me his arm to hook with mine, I did so as we headed for the car downstairs.

“Well I know my suits like I know my man. Plus, you don’t wear anything but Italian cause mama Evans and I talk.”

“Your man huh? Since when am I your man, Alexander?” He looked at me before we both got in the SUV, eyeing me down like prey. If we weren’t going to this premier I’d be jumping his bones right about now.

“Since we’re on the subject, since when am I your girl?” I whispered against his lips in a seductive tone, watching him buckle at the knees.

Sending a wink in my direction, I knew this ride was gonna be awkward and dirty. “Since forever. You know that, doll.”

The car ride was exactly that and more. We weren’t even that far from the Dolby Theatre, about 10-15 minutes out, and he couldn’t keep his hands off of me. His left hand was creeping up my right thigh, making me close my eyes at the feeling. Having his hands on me was always a fantasy of mine and to have it come to reality, was something brand new.

“Christopher, were almost there and you need to chill.” I say through my small giggles. The crowd was even louder than I anticipated and I could feel their energy through the car.

Once we got out of the car, the paparazzi were swarming like mosquitoes on a muggy summer night. Asking a question left and right, gesturing me to turn for pictures. I let Chris do his thing at a distance, that was until he called me over to take pictures and answer some questions. Of course I had to plug Cleo’s designs when asked about my dress, no way was I gonna leave my girl hanging.

“Seeing as though this is going to be one of my last interviews, I have to say Miss Roxie I have to say you look good girl.” Zuri Hall, one of the best interviewers around for Entertainment Tonight, always made it her mission to find me. I loved the girl the death, her personality was just outstanding and her energy was electrifying.

“Girl I’m just trying to be like you, all fine and our here doing the damn thing.” I was never one to hide my presence when it came to interviews.

“Last time we spoke it was a year ago for Infinity War, as a Dora Milaje.”

“Correct, I was one of the fearsome warriors.” I nodded gently with a sweet smile etched on my face, then looked over at Chris who was doing his own thing. Zuri must’ve caught me cause she chuckled softly.

“And you’re here with one of the main stars correct?”

“You caught me slippin. But yes I am, Chris Evans himself. America’s golden child if you will. We’ve been best friends since we were kids, and to be in each other’s lives for this long with our careers it’s astounding really.”

Whenever I talk about the friendship Chris and I had, it made me feel special and proud to have a guy like him be my friend for so long. Maybe in more than friends if the stars aligned.

“With a friendship that tight I can only imagine the shenanigans you two get into.”

“Oh yeah, it’s a lot going on but it’s all fun.”

“That being said, what can you tell me about the movie?” Arching her left brow, Zuri tried her best to get information out of me, but that wasn’t gonna happen.

“All I can say is: be ready. That’s all I can say because we were all shooting scenes at different times and no one really knows how it all ends but the core six. The rest of us common folk don’t know anything.”

“Ah man. Well I tried ladies and gentlemen. Special thanks to you Roxanne for the opportunity, we’re all excited for the movie. I know I am, back to you guys.” Once the interview ended, Chris signaled for me to meet him down by the end of the carpet.

Upon walking twisted him, to my left I saw a curly blonde head with pink tips. How many people has that hair style? Stopping in my tracks I was shocked to see none other than Delilah herself. She decided to come after all huh? Getting a closer look I saw who her date was, and to say I wasn’t shocked at all was facts. Carter and I have been on and off for years, just a few months back I called it off because I needed someone committed to me and not just for publicity.

Carter was never an honest lover to be honest. He looked like the sneaky type because he is. He’s conniving, vindictive and just plain douche. Yet to know he’s with Delilah and she didn’t tell Chris was a bitch move. Part of me wants to tell him, but the rest of me is gonna keep my mouth shut until the volcano erupts.

“Ready to cry? Everything ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He asked in a teasing tone, lacing my fingers with his to get me out of my trance.

Once coming to, I rolled my eyes playfully as we walked amongst the crowd, I bit my bottom lip. “Yeah, yeah. I’m good. Glad I have setting spray on, let's do this.”

-3 Hours and 2 Min later-

“Y’all ain’t right. My god that wasn’t fair!”

“I told you, you were gonna cry. You didn’t want to listen to me.”

“You’re an ass. Actually no, scratch that Steve is an ass. I’m happy for Sam, I am cause I know Khadijah is excited as fuck. But really? Steve just had to go back to Peggy? I know it’s just a movie but that was a dumbass move.”

To say Chris was enjoying my ranting was an understatement. I could tell he was doing his signature left boob grab, as he laughed in hysterics. I made him stay on the other side of the door, as I changed into my second dress for the after party back in the hotel room.

The royal blue dress hugged my curves like a glove. It was another one of Cleo’s creations, with a keyhole and gold embellishments around it. The top was mainly a halter top but still showed off a little something. I somehow managed to get the zipper all the way up with a wire hanger.

Stepping out in all my glory, I made my best friend stop in his tracks this time around. He eyed me up and down, with the classic wolf whistle.

“Roxanne, Roxanne. You can’t keep doing this to me.” Planting kisses all on my face and being handsy, I never experienced affection this much.

“Christopher, come on love. We can’t be late and everyone is expecting you.” Pinching his cheeks caused him to stop and bite his lip.

“Ok ok. Let’s go so I can show my best friend off.” Holding my hand once more, we managed to make it back to the car on time and to the party.

-After Party-

The party was live and full of good vibes as it should be. Chris was talking with the guys by the bar, and I was hanging with the girls by the fountain. We promised to find each other on the dance floor when the time was right. I was still thinking about seeing Delilah and Carter our in public and can only think about what the tabloids were gonna say.

Tessa rapped me on my shoulder. “Roxie, you got something on your mind? You’re staring into space.”

“Hmm? Oh I’m sorry, it’s just I saw something today and I can’t shake it. I’m still seeing images in my head.” Since Tessa caught me this time around, I couldn’t shake the thought away. Granted all Chris and I are doing is just cuddling and sharing a few kisses. He did tell Delilah that he’d be at the premier and after party with me. Yet she’s here, just hanging on all over Carter.

They’re like 10 feet away from me, cuddled up on a plush couch sharing a few laughs. Part of me wanted to tell Chris so bad, but I didn’t want to ruin his night by being vindictive.

“Chris told me about that when he was talking to Chadwick. Are you feeling ok?” Danai rubbed my shoulder in comfort and serenity.

“At the moment no. I’ve seen something and I don’t know who to tell. It has to deal with Chris and Delilah, because she’s here with Carter.” My mouth was like a running waterfall of information.

The shocked expressions from both Tess and Danai were unmatched. They always knew something was wrong with me, didn’t let my conscience get the best of me.

“She’s here? With Carter, who decided to come out of his arrogant hole?”

“Yes Tessa. That Carter is here, with his bitch ass face of his. Condescending ass, they deserve each other honestly.” I have never spoke ill of a couple before or anyone for that matter, and yet these two were the bottom of the barrel evil.

Danai nugged me a bit. “You can y’all him when you’re ready. Let’s just have fun ok? It is after all the greatest after party of the cinematic universe, lieutenant Ashanti.”

“That’s easy for you to say, general Okoye.” Tessa snickered and grabbed herself a glass of wine.

“Oh you’re one to talk, Miss King of Asgard.” It was my turn to snicker as I danced the night away with my friends, all the while letting the alcohol flow without being tipsy.

The rest of the night was just a blissful night full of love, laughter and good times. I knew that the epidemic that happened earlier, would make it to the surface of every social media platform soon. It would grow faster than a wildfire and burn everything in its path. Once I met with Chris at the front door, he looked exhausted.

“Ready to go home?”

“Yeah. I need to cuddle my best girl and eat the cake she made the other day.” He placed a kiss on my head, holding me close to keep me warm.

“Your best girl? What about Peggy, or Delilah?” Arching a brow in hysterics, the slight eye roll of his caused a smirk on my face.

“Now, now. You will always be my best girl besides mom, Carly and Shanna of course. But you come first, and if Delilah can’t understand that then she’s not for me. Any woman I date for that matter.”

Hearing him refresh my memory of an old phrase he’d say to me, made me feel at ease for once all night. Saying goodbye to our friends, getting a couple of goodie bags to go.

“Alright. Home is 45 minutes away, the hotel is 10 minutes. Which one?” Hooking my arm with his once more as we headed to the car, I started to think about seeing Carter and Delilah again.

“Home. Matching pajamas and snuggles.”

“Deal.”

The drive home was amazing and peaceful. Just the sounds of jazz music playing in the car and the city moving past the windows, created a calming effect. Getting ready for bed was the easy part, crawling into bed was tiring along with tying my hair down.

My neon green Victoria’s Secret boy shorts and a black camisole, were comfy for me and made Chris very happy. His black boxers and white tank top were anything but subtle, with his muscles bulging everywhere.

“Night Chris. We can do lunch tomorrow.” Snuggling up against him under the heavy duvet, I was knocked out against his chest.

“Sounds good Roro. Night love.” As he places one final kiss on my head I was dreaming. But it was so peaceful to tell you the truth. I remembered where I saw Delilah and Carter before: it was at a charity function 2 years ago.

No wonder they looked so cozy. The facial expressions they had were relaxed and rejuvenated faces and I knew that all too well. I was going to catch Delilah in the act for actually cheating on Chris, and boy was I going to relish in it.

___

Recap:

Ch1 || Ch2 ||

#Chris Evans #chris x roxie #so into you chapter 3 #Roxanne Alexander #Ashley Blaine Featherson #chris evans x roxie alexander #so into you

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oh-snap-bucky · 5 years

Text

You’ve Got to Be Kidding

Pairing: College!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 3073

Warning: some bad words I think??? and hella cliches Summary: College is always better, always easier when surrounded by friends. And, when it came to Bucky Barnes there weren’t many that were better for the job. He was a magnificent and funny best friend (and so much more). Plus, he makes a killer breakfast - what more could you ask for?

A/N: Hey folks - this is a doozy. So this is a secret Santa (I know) for the amazing lovely, patient and understanding @trashybutnottootrashy who has been the absolute best when it comes to this. And, as well as a shameful secret Santa it is the first fic I am posting after my m a j o r slump and hopefully the first of many with a regular posting schedule where I will be catching up on the rest of my majorly overdue challenges. As always thank you to the beautiful people who put up with my nonsense and read the first thousands of drafts, @quantumarvel, @courtmr, @includeangieinthesequel - y’all are lifesavers. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this piece and as always feedback is appreciated. Thank you for reading!

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“You have got to be kidding,” Bucky said, irritation evident in his words, But not at her. Most definitely more directed towards memories from his childhood. Days filled with screaming, not talking to each other for hours, maybe even days if it got bad enough. Money was used and wasted, often being burned or thrown in the others face. Property meant nothing, you too what you wanted no matter what the cost may be. And, of course, the cheating was unbearable with how often it occurred.

So, “No.” he simply stated, staring his problem down as he set her coffee on the table.

“Come on, it won’t be that bad, I promise.”

“It always ends in fighting, I’m not doing it.”

“Oh, I think you’re being just a tad dramatic, Buck,” she murmured, mischief in her tone as she slowly pulled the box across the table towards her, lifting the lid and setting fee what seems to be the cause of all of his woes; Monopoly. A game that had been around for goodness knows how long, wrecking relationships ever since. Game night was his idea after all. So, she thought he was in no place to complain about her choice. And, of course, she told him that straight away.

“You should have taken responsibility for the games then and let me get the coffees if it really bothers you that much…” She raised a brow, gave her sulky friend the look (you know that look) before taking a sip of the coffee he had placed before her. He gave a sigh, sat down opposite her and she knew then,

She’d won and the game hadn’t even started yet.

And she would only continue winning, move after move, property after property, the board was hers and she was loving every second of it. Bucky? Not as excited about it, funnily enough. But maybe, just maybe he thinks he can make it through as long as she keeps laughing in the way that causes her nose to scrunch up for just a second or the way she’d murmur ‘pay up’ every time (of many) that he landed on her property. It was infuriating, definitely, but these things softened the blow just a little bit. The tiniest bit. The blow was really softened when the luck began to turn his way. He didn’t know how she let this happen but what he did know is that about an hour into their game it was her who was dishing out the heavy rent prices for his two- three- four houses on the board and that number is only on the rise as the continued to play.

“No, no, no, no… no!” She cried, rising from her chair as she moved her piece along the board and clearly didn’t get the results she was hoping for. Bucky, now having the perfect evening simply laughed. But after a scolding from the campus librarian they promised to quieten down.

They definitely did not quieten down. Which greatly explains why they were now walking throughout the campus after the librarian had quite clearly had enough of the noise they emitted and continued to emit throughout their game. Whether it was his laughing or her screeching that did the trick they would never know, but it’s safe to assume that it was most likely all of the above and more.

“I can’t believe you got us kicked out,” She’d say.

“Can you really not believe it? Because you seem to be saying it a lot for somebody who can’t believe such a thing happened.” He spoke with amusement in his tone, because it was just fun, after all, eyebrows quirking along with the cadence of his voice as he jogged just ahead of her in order to turn around and steal a gaze. Not a gaze, more a glance, a glance with no meaning than utter amusement. Obviously. Bucky turns on his heels, walking backwards through the quad as the bickering carried on.

Bucky continued, “Besides, I wouldn’t say it was completely my fault, you were just as bad - if not worse!”

“Nuh-uh!” She called back, face going red from her lack of a truly hard-hitting response. Something he loved, just by the way.

He let out a barking laugh, nearly dropping her game from under his arm in the meantime. “That what you got?” His endless teasing was maybe too much for some but it would never fail to bring a smile to her face. “Nuh-uh..” He repeated, head falling forward, looking to the ground for only a moment before lifting his head with a grin. “Might have to use that some time. Yeah, I think, next time Sam gets on my ass about the mess of the dorm or something. I’ll claim ‘nuh-uh’ and blame it on Stevie.”

Okay, by then she was cackling, the whole scenario playing so clearly in her head that she couldn’t help herself. “Oh, I’m sure he’ll love that.”

“You know what-” As their walk continued and the air turned colder he opted to sling his arm over her shoulder, her responding with an arm around his waist. Purely for the warmth, of course. “-You know what I think? I think he would like it very much, actually. I mean, you know how Sam can’t resist a pretty face.” His tone was almost inquisitive at this point, seeing if she’ll bite for the bait he just threw out. And, bite she did. Not verbally but the look she gave him was harsh enough for him to wish he just kept it reeled in.

“Woah, what’s the harsh face for? You disagree or something?”

She just laughed again, “I didn’t mean it like that!” And with a grumble and the dropping of his arm, she was quick to the rescue. “You know I think you’re very pretty, Buck, I just don’t know if you’re his type is all.”

“Oh?”

“You seem surprised?” As they came to a stop at the front door of her building he began to search his pockets for his student ID, knowing she always forgot hers, meanwhile she stood, brows furrowed as she awaited his response.

“Oh no, it’s not that part I’m surprised about…” He produced the card as if it were a true ‘ah-ha!’ moment before running it over the sensor and pushing the door open for the both of them, allowing Y/N to go ahead of him. There was something unsettling her about the small smile that was threatening to break across his face… but he was holding back and she had not a single clue why.

“Well… do enlighten me.”

“So I’m your type then?”

“That is not what I said,”

“What you implied though.” She could hear the grin that was on his lips as she walked ahead of him, she tried her hardest to ignore that and the blush that rose to her cheeks upon hearing it but when they arrived at her door she had to face her fears: Bucky Barnes.

“I didn’t imply anything, all I said is that you’re a good looking guy but you’re not Sam Wilson’s type. This doesn’t mean that you’re my type and with that…” She turned to her door, unlocking it and pushing it open, ready for a quick escape. To feign nonchalance she looked back to him giving a nod and mumbling a “...goodnight, Barnes.” But alas, just when it seemed like a place to freely freak was in her grasp,

“Just out of curiosity-” Here we go, “Am I your type?”

“Bucky-”

“Just a ‘yes’ or ‘no’, promise that my feelings won’t be hurt.”

“You could be.”

“What?” He seemed surprised that she actually answered his question at all, let alone given that answer. “Sorry, was that a yes?”

“Please don’t make me say it again.”

“Okay, alright I won’t.” He chuckled at this, looking down to their feet for a moment. He looked up with a new task on his to-do list, “Follow up question if you don’t mind?”

“Go for it. I mean how much more embarrassing can my night truly get?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Can you what?”

“Kiss you. May I?” He said, this time his grin becoming more boyish than she thinks she had ever seen it, a certain kind of light and excitement that shone through his features. She always knew it was there, but it wasn’t something he usually outwardly projected.

“Kiss me?”

“Kinda stole my line there.” he quipped. The longer she took to answer, the smaller his smile became. It never left though, still pulled at the corner of his lips as he looked down at her. She would do what she knew was best whether that be agree with him or completely shoot him down. The choice was all hers as soon as he put himself out there, and he trusted her with all he had to make the one right for her.

She paused, a million and one thoughts running through her mind as they stood in the hallway. But, after only a second more of deliberation and another thousand thoughts she spoke up again, “You can have it back then.” Before he could even open his mouth to question it she went on, “The line, you can have it back if you want.” And with that he grins, head dipping with the intention of his lips meeting hers but before they could barely brush she had a finger pressed against his chin and mischief once again in her voice. “Go ahead, Barnes, say it.”

“Kiss me.” With two words it all changed. They were still them of course, jokes and taunts included but now maybe with the clarity of gazes that lingered just a little too long and arms slinked around the waist may have been a little more than simply ‘friendly’.

And boy, did she kiss him.

It was perhaps a little shy at first, what with the weight of years of friendship in the balance and the threat of being tainted with ‘y’know you could have at least used a lil’ lip balm jeez’ to hold them back. So, it was shy, and it was gentle. The odd apology mumbled as his nose bumped against hers but she’d simply giggle and shush him, calming them both significantly. And then? God, then they just sort of sunk into it.

After an initial feeling of this is new, it became his hands resting against her cheeks, one moving to hold the back of her head when Y/N tugged on his denim jacket, welcoming a new feeling of we should’ve been doing this the whole time. Lips moved, almost dancing against the other with the accompanying beat of the still active campus around them. But they couldn’t bring themselves to care at that particular moment. Until that moment was brought to a premature end.

Life continued on as normal despite them being tucked away in their own little pocket of time, and in life people need to get passed in the narrow corridors. The others tried their best, trying their best to edge past without being noticed at all. Though only a few were successful.

A quiet, “Excuse me,” pulled them apart, a shy freshman clutching to a folder for dear life as Bucky stepped out the way. He rested against the wall by her side. With flushed cheeks and chests heaving slightly as they each caught their breath, they simply stood for a second. Reeling from all that just happened, happiness radiated, laughter from mouths that tried hard to remain hushed until the Freshman was down the hall, fully embracing it as soon as they were. His head fell back against the wall, turning just slightly to catch her eye.

“You know I’ve got an early morning lecture tomorrow, and you’ve kept me out way past my bedtime. I hope you’re happy with yourself.”

“Oh, very.” And with that, he knew he was done for, completely and utterly, not that he didn’t have some idea before.

“Well,” He started, pushing himself off the wall, looking each way down the hallway and proceeding with caution this time. “I suppose I must leave you for the night..” His hands scratched at the back of his neck as a boyish smirk once again appeared. His hand raised to the air and with a flourish, he gave a rather grand bow. “Goodnight, Madame.” And, then he moved to set about on his way back to his own building just a few blocks down the path, leaving her with nothing more than a smile and a quick wink before turning on his heels. As Sam always told him, Leave ‘em wanting just a little bit more.

“Unless you want to come in for a while?” Cool guy act already firmly dropped, he spun back around, already poised and ready with a million and one questions all compressed into a furrowed brow. But, the grin that Y/N wore gave him all the answers he could have possibly wanted and more. Just one smile and he folded.

He stepped forward, shaking his head slightly with a small smile growing, “God,” He whispered, leaving no time for her to properly respond before his mouth was on hers and she was reaching blindly for the door handle that pressed again her back.

You could say he was glad he never listened to Sam’s advice.

‘A while’ lasted a little longer than they had originally planned.

The night went without a single hitch, smiles and kisses were exchanged between them so freely it made the need for sleep loathsome. They wanted the night to last until they were ready for the exchange to stop and for morning to come, alas, that is not how the universe planned for it to play out. So, the conversations ended and they slept, legs tangled and a hand in her hair - another thing that came to its conclusion far earlier than either of them would have liked; 8:25am. And, with the mumblings of having a lecture at 9, Y/N managed to just barely coax Bucky from the bed. It was feat and a half she’d admit, but they each knew the real challenge would be getting him to part from her at the doorway.

“Bucky…” It was a quiet something. Not even she knew the full intention of letting his name fall so sweetly from lips that he continued to lazily brush against his own, their own little bubble once again appearing in the realm of her open doorway. Just-barely-there kisses continued to be exchanged, pausing every so often for conversation.

“Hmm?”

“I really, really have to get ready.”

“I know you do.”

“Which means-” His lips hushed her this time, pulling her deeper and closer to the conclusion that perhaps missing one class wouldn’t be the end of the world. A dangerous conclusion. So she gently pushed against his chest and the smile on his stupidly pretty face proved her previous hunch; he knew exactly what he was doing. “-You’ve gotta go, Romeo.”

“Romeo, huh? Oh, that’s real sweet of you to say.” Y/N was also quickly learning he was far too reluctant to leave her on that morning. But, who could blame him, certainly not she.

“Yeah well, I’m just nice like that I suppose.”

“Rich of you to say after you kick me out before 9am-” He paused, eyes trailing from her face as he eventually caught sight of the orange cotton that sat cosy upon the skin of her neck. “-all the while standing looking like that in my hoodie no less.” This was the utmost disrespect in his book.

“You know I had it,” she fired back, cotton covered hands sinking into the pockets just below her hips, a satisfied smirk on her face as she met his gaze again.

“Your point? Doesn’t mean you don’t look absolutely…” The way he spoke was too perfect, perhaps even slightly suspicious as he looked at her then. She caught it too, narrowing her eyes at him. And, then, quicker than a flash, far quicker than she could stop his fingers found the drawstrings of the hood pulled them tight. “...Enchanting.”

Obviously, she was thrilled by this, the “You’re a jerk,” she said would have made that infinitely clear had it not been muffled by the hood now covering her face.

“Yeah, yeah, I know; I’m the worst.” He said, not an ounce of remorse or regret in his voice but a grin on his face, enough to cause a smile of her own as she struggled to free herself.

“But, despite me being the worst, you want to come over after your lecture? I’ll make you some breakfast and everything.” As Bucky spoke he, after watching her struggle a while, nudged her hands away before gently fixing the hoodie.

“Ooh, breakfast? Tell me Buck, you make breakfast for all the girls?”

“Only my favourites.”

“Favourites? Plural?”

“Yeah, one and a half exactly.” His lips met her forehead then, a usual goodbye between them, though this time due to the recent… discoveries he lingered a moment. His arms wrapped around her shoulders as she did the same around his middle and they remained that way until she realised the error in what he just said and leaned back to look up at him, her brows knitting.

“One and a half?” She was pretty hesitant to ask, knowing there was absolutely no way this was an innocent mistake. There was rarely an innocent mistake when it came to Bucky Barnes, and Y/N knew that.

“Yeah, Steve is the one and then you're half because you’re so small.” See?

“Weren’t you just going?” Her hands unwrapped from around his waist, pushing against his torso now as he laughed, muttering a thousand apologies she knew he didn’t mean a bit. He never meant them but in other cases where the roles reversed, neither did she. Eventually, he gave in and parted with her, backing off. Goodbyes continued as he went down the hall, smiles thrown over his shoulder and sarcasm flooding the corridor.

“Mhmm, yeah I’m going. Have fun at your lecture.”

“I’m sure I will.”

“See you for breakfast.”

“Maybe I don’t-”

“Already told Sam, can’t break the poor guy's heart like that.”

A moment of silence passed and he was sure she had ducked back inside to get ready, but then: “I would never dream of it!”

#My writing #Bucky Barnes #college!bucky #bucky barnes x reader #im already sorry #marvel #MCU #mcu fanfiction

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chasingshhadows · 5 years

Text

on michael & maria

Yup, Imma talk about it.

I’m unfortunately well aware of the ~discourse~ on this particular topic, but I have Opinions and Feelings so I’m gonna share them. In this post, I’m gonna follow their relationship from the beginning of the show through episode 1.11 (Champagne Supernova). (The events of 1.13 are a topic that I’ll be addressing separately and a bit more in-depth.)

I am in what appears to be a minority of Malex Roswell fans that thinks the show did a really great job of setting up and seeing through the relationship with Michael and Maria, both in the ways it became physical and the ways it became emotional.

Before I begin, I want to emphasize something about this relationship that seems to bother a lot of people or maybe just go unnoticed: Much of the development between these two, while absolutely present, is not overt and oft times isn’t even on-screen. I get why and how this bothers people because it’s understandable to want to see character development on-screen and not have to infer it from context or subtext, or have to rely on people like me to do the work of going through the season and finding it. Plus, that means it likely falls through the cracks for most casual viewers who don’t take the time to process and analyze the meanings behind what they’re seeing. I get that, and understand that it’s frustrating.

That said, I’m here to play with everything the show has given us, and that includes the subtleties of the Michael & Maria dynamic. I’m a master extrapolator ok.

And just a ~warning~ to the shippers reading this: This post is about Michael & Maria and their relationship and how it builds and grows. This is not an extended diss post on Maria or Miluca, so if that’s what you’re looking for, this post is not for you. That said, I would be remiss in not acknowledging to any Miluca fans reading this that I am a hardcore Malex shipper and can’t guarantee that my bias in that way doesn’t leak through. Just - you’ve been warned.

Also to clarify - when I use the word “relationship,” I do not mean Relationship like, couple. I mean, any two people that interact with each other have a relationship with each other.

TL;DR: Michael and Maria were and are far closer as friends than most people seem to believe before they became involved. The journey of them hooking up, catching feelings, and coming together is marked by progressively stronger signs of affection and attraction. The development is there, if you care to look for it.

And now that my thesis is clear, let me show my work.

Anyway. Let’s start at the beginning.

We learn right as Michael is introduced that he spends a lot of time at the Wild Pony, and that getting arrested for getting drunk and getting into fights there is a common occurrence for him. As Maria runs this bar, this means the two of them spend a lot of time together, likely at odds considering she’s probably the one calling the cops.

The first interaction they have as characters isn’t an interaction at all, and seems to contradict the last assumption, at least in one way. Because Maria sees Alex looking at Guerin and the first thing she says about it?

She acknowledges he’s “rifraff” but then immediately says she thinks he’s hot. And then at Alex’s dubious look, she tries to justify. Which means that’s something she’s noticed, and the “sex in a truck” is something she’s thought about. And she and Alex have an easy enough relationship even after a decade spent mostly apart that she feels comfortable bringing that up. She’s gossiping about cute boys with her long lost best friend and Guerin is the cute boy on her mind right now.

This, my friends, is what we in the biz like to call foreshadowing.

Now, something that is entirely not stated but is at least tangentially hinted at: Michael is a punchy drunk that intentionally picks fights at the Wild Pony. Now, who do we know who appears to also spend a lot of time at the Wild Pony and are also walking “Hit Me” signs? That’s right, Racist Wyatt & Racist Hank. I’m not saying it happens every night or even every week, but I have to imagine at least a few times over the years, Michael decided to take out his dramatic cowboy angst on the two racist assholes spouting off in the corner. And regardless of her distaste for the violence and her annoyance at needing to call the cops again, I have to imagine that Maria at least noticed that Michael is throwing punches for the right reasons sometimes. (and again, none of this is explicitly stated, but all of the pieces are laid out and it doesn’t take a casual viewer to put them together).

We first see them actually interact at the bar during the blackout and it is hella flirtatious; they’re both smirking, leaning forward, teasing. It’s playful.

More than that though, it speaks to a deeply ingrained familiarity, friendliness, and banter. Michael swipes a bottle from behind the bar - an expensive bottle, apparently - as if that’s just a normal thing for him to do. And Maria doesn’t even try to stop him - sure, she Hey!’s him, but her only objection is, “that’s a health code violation” as she goes about cleaning up the bar and collecting glasses.

Again, I know this is subtle, but it says so much about their relationship before this moment. That Maria lets him grab the bottle. That he hears that he’s caught and just…. continues opening the bottle while making a teasing comment about her power-outage decorations. That she just watches as he takes a drink straight from the bottle. The soft, teasing “Didn’t I ban you for life?”

This isn’t behavior she would allow from just any customer and especially not one who we’re led to believe is a Problem Customer. And their conversation about his tab and such indicates they aren’t like, best friends or anything, but they’re on familiar enough territory that they can joke and tease and steal liquor like it’s habit, like it’s just how they are.

And remember - they both grew up in this town. They’ve probably known each since they were 11 (when Michael was sent back to Roswell) but definitely knew each other in high school. I doubt they ever hung out or even really interacted all that much but they have that awkward “I know too much about you because we’ve been sharing space for 15 years” thing going on.

And now Maria has watched him make a valiant attempt to drink himself to death for half a dozen years and bury his sorrows in anyone that’ll have him. She’s smart, she’s learned her lesson with Chad, she doesn’t just want to be another notch in Guerin’s bedpost.

But, he’s cute and he’s safe, so she flirts.

I mean look at this:

Like fuck, she’s practically purring.

Michael is clearly on board with that mood. This is sexy, this is him fully ready to hear exactly what he can do for Maria, this is his mind in the gutter.

He makes a joke - in a super sultry voice, mind you - about being her least favorite customer, to which she laughs while passing him glasses for the tequila (yes, it’s mezcal, I know) he stole.

This is all very friendly, y’all. And that doesn’t mean they’re the braid-each-other’s-hair, tell-me-all-your-deepest-secrets type of friends, but they are friends. Not best friends, but casual friends. Almost a coworkerly-type of teasing affection. They’re two people wholly comfortable with the other, they’re fond of each other. They tease each other but there’s never any bite - it’s playful and fun and easy. They sit on opposite sides of that bar at least several times a week and yeah, Maria has to call the cops when shit gets rowdy, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t appreciate Guerin’s personality and presence, or that he doesn’t enjoy the teasing banter with the hottie behind the bar that he knows he has no chance with.

From there, Isobel steals the floor, and Maria is annoyed and not taking shit. She makes a crack about Michael’s drinking, and Isobel makes her move.

And then Maria sees something I’m sure she’s seen before when he’s with Isobel but is still at odds with the Guerin in her mind - she sees Michael being soft, tender, and concerned.

And this prompts Maria, for what I believe is the only time in the first season, to call him Michael.

Jump to the day when both Isobel and Mimi go into institutions. Maria has reached her limit. She’s strung out, she’s had to fall back on her last resort because nothing else has worked and she’s feeling like a failure; she’s feeling lost because her mom has been her rock her entire life. And Michael is actually in a similar place. He’s been trying to protect Isobel, his own rock, from herself for so long, he’s let that destroy himself, his hope, his future, and now she’s put herself in the hands of people he vehemently distrusts because he failed.

So, they’re both here to drown their sorrows at the bottom of a bottle. And again, let’s talk about the fact that Michael gets an entirely different treatment than any other customer that might walk through that door. Because what she sees in that mirror? It’s a kindred spirit. It’s a broken man who’s been crumbling on a stool in her bar for years and who looks just like she feels: like he’s just a step away from shattering.

And this is also Michael Guerin, with whom she shares an easy camaraderie, who she knows can be soft. So, she lets him stay.

One drink. No talking.

She passes him the bottle and he sighs in relief because Maria is giving him exactly what he needs right now. To not be alone with his thoughts. To lose himself a little bit in a haze, to let the alcohol blur the self-hatred swirling in his mind.

And Maria, Maria doesn’t wanna crack. She doesn’t want to fall apart, because she can’t, because it’s her job to hold it together - for her mom, for her friends, for this town. She’s supposed to be the fun, happy friend, the bartender, the good time.

She’s not allowed to break.

But she knows if she opens her mouth, she will. So when Guerin starts to thank her, she shuts him right down.

Notice that she calls him Guer? Not Guerin. Not even Michael. But Guer. That’s soft, that’s familiar. That’s a nickname, and it rolls off her tongue like that’s normal. Like she’s used it before.

It’s these things, y’all, the little things that truly show us the depth of this relationship. I’ve seen said more times than I can count that Michael and Maria’s connection, their friendship, him “knowing her”, her feelings - that they all came out of nowhere. That these two went 10 years without liking each other or being attracted to each other and ~one day~ it all just changed. And that’s just not true. This thing between them, it’s been there, simmering, slowly building. The signs are there if you know what you’re looking for, if you know what it looks like before two people that know each other fall into bed, before they catch feelings.

And y’all, these two? Are a veritable construction zone of signs.

What happens next is pivotal to this relationship. Because Maria was right, opening her mouth was a catalyst and she starts to crack, and then loses it completely.

And this, this is new for Michael. Maria never cracks, never cries. She’s a firecracker and a half, fierce and strong, she commands the room, and never shows weakness. It takes him a moment to catch up to what he’s seeing and then-

This is so soft. He lets out a comforting “hey” as he wraps his arm around her shoulder and pulls her close, holds her tight. Tries to give her the stability she’s clearly lacking, lets her lean on him for support.

He’s there for her. He doesn’t ask questions. He doesn’t try to tell her it’s ok. Doesn’t cross any boundaries. He’s just there, just present, and lets her take what she needs from him in that moment.

This, again, proves the depth of their bond. Their friendship. Maria wouldn’t let any deadbeat from the bar touch her like that, especially not in a moment of weakness. And Michael wouldn’t offer unconditional comfort to anyone either - he’s not cruel by any means, but few people rank high enough to deserve his kindness. But here, Maria not only lets Michael hold her, she leans in, grabs at his jacket, settles in close.

She trusts him, and he cares for her.

And you can see even as he holds her, he’s still confused. He’s still not entirely sure what’s happening, but he pulls her closer anyway. Because she needs it.

This a turning point in their relationship. This is the moment they go from banter friends to comfort friends. The moment their friendship deepens from something fun to something warm. Something real.

A few weeks later, they’ve both come off their respective cliffs. Maria has come to him for help. And as we learn at the end of the episode, there’s an emotional attachment to her request. This sign is special, this sign specifically is important to her - and she’s trusting Guerin to fix it.

Now we know that “no once can fix a car as fast as” Michael, and that Isobel, at least, has a habit of calling him to fix things for her, but what this tells us is that Michael also likely has a reputation around town as a fixer, as a handy man. Enough, at least, for Maria to know Michael can fix this. And between his reputation and her experiences with him, she knows him to be dependable and reliable enough to do this for her.

They’ve fallen back into their banter because it’s easy and it’s not heavy. Because they’re still Maria and Guerin even after a moment of tenderness. Because this is natural to them.

Now, Michael says something that apparently confuses people. Because Max says, “Dude, tell me you’re not sleeping with Maria,” and Michael immediately shoots back with, “Never!” And to some, I suppose, this feels incongruous with his behavior in the next episode. And all I really have to say to that is if I truly “never” slept with any of the people I’ve said I would “never” sleep with, my List would be like…. half as long.

Anyway, Michael brings the sign to the bar later that same day. Which is significant because - remember what else is going on that day. Isobel nearly died. He’s been running all over town with Liz and worrying about losing his sister - the single most important person in his life - and still, he made time to fix Maria’s sign.

He and Max left the junkyard right after Maria dropped it off, and we saw him at the hospital, then chasing down Liz, then taking Liz to his bunker, then to the cave, then he ran back to get Isobel from the hospital.

Which means after Isobel went into the pod, Michael went back to the junkyard to fix Maria’s sign. Just as much because she needed it as because he needed it. He needed to do it, needed to not fail someone he cared about that day. Needed to have something to show to himself that he could fix things, to prove to himself he could fix Isobel.

And when he drops it off, Maria notes how fast it was, having no idea just how fast because she doesn’t know everything that happened that day. He reiterates that he could have made her a new sign, but what he means is that he wants her to know that he would have, for her. Max once said that Michael has never done anything for anyone, while we all know that that line was a flaming pile of bullshit, it’s true that Michael isn’t someone to offer his help to just anyone; he’s picky about the people deserving of his effort and he’s letting Maria know she’s one of them.

And she softens. She opens up. Explains the real reason she needs this sign. Let’s Michael see a glimpse of something she hid from her own best friend.

It gets heavy for a moment, which is a territory they’re still figuring out how to navigate. Maria “hmms” at Michael’s “beacon” comment and he aptly puts together that that’s all she wants to say on the matter. He redirects them into more familiar territory with a teasing joke to break the tension and Maria follows him there with a, “Jerk” and a poorly disguised smirk.

It’s comfortable. Easy.

Six weeks pass before we see them together again, though it’s certainly not the first time they’ve interacted, judging by the fact that Michael has racked up another bar tab.

Maria greets him coolly - whether that’s because of her mood re: her mother, or because Alex is there and Alex has already expressed discomfort at being around Guerin (see: human trio reunion scene) is unclear, but she does greet him. Even if she’s a bit prickly, he still warrants her attention just by walking in the door.

And this may be some of my own projection, but it also speaks a little to me of Maria starting to catch on - subconsciously, at least - that she might have feelings for Michael. After my own experiences with the Chads of the world, I tend to react defensively around people I start to fall for, including being actively cool around them. It’s not pulling pigtails, not quite, but more I’m-terrified-of-you-finding-out-I-have-feelings-and-rejecting-me-so-I’ll-be-extra-unfriendly-so-you-think-I-don’t-like-you.

Michael is flirting - stung, from Alex’s rejection, and trying to get lost in a distraction - but Maria lets it slide right off her.

When we see them again in Texas, it’s awkward, but not because of them. Max and Liz are seeing each other for what appears to be the first time since her declaration that they are not meant to be, after having promised to save the life of the woman who killed her sister because she can’t stand to see Max hurt. So. It’s awkward.

Michael recognizes this immediately - having spent significant time with Liz who I’m sure pointedly refused to talk about Max, and at least some time around Max even before the 4+ hour drive in which he was fully back on his broody bullshit - so he tries to cut the tension by teasing flirtily with Maria. Because that’s a thing he can do. Something that’s natural and fun for them.

Maria teases right back, likely having seen at least some of Liz’s side of this, and makes her subtle exit, knowing full well Michael would join her and leave the two lovebirds to their awkward hello.

Note that when Michael goes into the tent to have his hand healed, he goes in with Maria. Not Max, whose idea it was. But his friend, Maria. Which means they spent the long wait in that line together. She clearly needs proof - or disproof - of Arizona’s powers as much as Max, but we all know what Michael’s hand means to him, and that he was willing to have Maria there while discussing it, potentially having it healed says, again, so much about their friendship.

Arizona talks about Michael reopening the wound in his mind and he looks to Maria for reassurance. And Maria gives that to him, freely and warmly. Organically. And you can see how much that little act helps him, that he’s able to continue forward knowing she’s there.

And when Arizona essentially blows them off, Maria - who is here, remember, to find a way to heal her own ailing mother - offers Michael the comforting shoulder rub, the defensive “Come on [let’s get out of here]”.

When Maria is upset, following Arizona’s reveal as a fraud, it’s Michael, not Liz, her best friend, that follows her. For all that Michael wanted to go in guns blazing and confront her before, he’s ready to walk away when he sees that Maria is upset.

And no, Michael is not the arbiter of friendship, but he’s pretty sure it has something to do with supporting someone when they’re upset. He doesn’t know, as Liz does, that Maria does not need that, so this is his way of trying. Maria is important enough for Michael to try.

And thus gets us to my favorite scene of the Michael/Maria saga.

She says with a teasing smile on her face. She says with a fond glance at Guerin.

And his wink says he knows and he’s playing along.

When she gets up, Michael is concerned. Asking Liz if she’s going to follow her. “Don’t you think she needs a girlfriend or whatever?” Because Michael wants to make sure Maria is being taken care of.

And then.

I just. Cannot get over. This look. This is awe, this is wonder, this is heat. This is Michael for the first time seeing Maria, seeing just how strong and fierce and powerful and beautiful she really is. This is The Moment that Michael stops thinking of Maria as a fun, flirty friend, and starts seeing her as something more. As someone he might be able to really fall for. As someone who maybe, just might, be able to fill the void left behind by Alex.

And so he just stares. He cannot take his eyes off from her y’all. The whole rest of this scene is Michael just fixated on the marvel that is Maria DeLuca. He’s watching her the entire time Liz asks Max to dance. Watching her sing upon that stage. Hell, Liz has to grab his face to get him to look away and still his eyes find her again.

And Maria, for all her teasing and banter, is the one to make the first move. She extends her hand to Michael, beckons him forward and:

Imma just let that speak for itself.

She doesn’t just do it once those, she reaches for him again, just gently touching him, making contact. And it’s not just comforting contact like Michael did when she cried, or when Maria touched him in the tent. It’s not even really friendly.

No, it’s decidedly sensual. Sexy. She’s touching him in ways that are meant to illicit a reaction.

And it’s a reaction she gets, when Michael follows her from the bar.

Look at that smile. She’s teasing him, but you can see she’s happy that he’s chosen to be there, out there, with her. This is the face of a woman who’s just drunk and high enough to forget her reasons to stay away, and is just letting herself be giddy that the person she likes is here with her. She’s not thinking about her worry of being another one of Michael’s one night stands, not thinking about not letting herself get attached for fear of being hurt (spoiler alert: she was already attached).

That’s the thing, with humans. We’re really really good at lying to ourselves when we’re afraid. We’re experts at denying the existence of something that scares us, and convincing ourselves that we’re safe. Maria has convinced herself she feels nothing for Michael because admitting those feelings, even to herself, when she feels certain he doesn’t feel the same way, would be devastating. So she refuses to acknowledge it, pretends it’s not even there.

And that’s why we see such a drastic change in her behavior from night to morning. Why she was all smiles and wiles and flirtation when she was drunk, high, and looking for a distraction, but was cold and in full denial mode when she was sober and facing down the reality of the door she’d opened. Her subconscious is trying to preemptively protect her from the pain and she’s projecting her anger at herself onto Michael.

Exacerbated, I’m sure, by the fact that by the time they actually kissed, and slept together, neither of them were that drunk. We see them wander off together with a joint before Max and Liz leave the bar, and we don’t see them together again until after Liz and Max have found a hotel, gotten into bed, each tossed and turned long enough to get back out of bed, get dressed, head out to the park and talk, and then go back to bed. So I’d say it’s been at least a couple hours since their last drinks that things heat up.

So Maria doesn’t even have the excuse for herself that she was wasted because she wasn’t. Neither of them were. She let herself give into her feelings and attraction in a moment of weakness and the only one she’ll have to blame when it bites her in the ass is herself.

Even if Maria is refusing to allow herself to believe she has feelings, there is still a gut feeling that what she did was a mistake, was going to get her hurt. The mind can be interesting in that way, warning you of danger without allowing you to see what that danger is.

Michael is in a different place here. He’s upset, but in an entirely different and far more silent way than Maria. Alex broke his heart, again, just yesterday. He had to watch Alex walk away from him and for the first time, it truly felt final. Alex said it was over, full stop. I don’t think Michael had ever before thought about moving on from Alex, not really. He was always just waiting.

“Where I stand, nothing’s changed.”

But now Alex walked away and it looks like this time, he really isn’t coming back. And for the first time Mchael has to consider what his life might look like without Alex in it, and suddenly here Maria is, being the actual walking definition of charm and grace. She’s someone he knows, whom he knows to be good. She’s gorgeous and kind and beautiful and fierce. And he’s seeing for the first time just how strong she is, how courageous.

He’s mesmerized.

And he’s paying attention. To all of Maria’s little touches and smiles. To the way she seems to want exactly what he wants. Which is why he’s so unaffected by her protests and denials the next morning. Because this is Maria, his friend. He teases and pokes fun because they’re friends and he can. And because, as everyone in Roswell knows, Michael is an expert at navigating the awkward morning after, so he eases her panic about people finding out, and then teases some more.

Michael’s in a great mood. The sun is shining, there’s a gorgeous woman lying next to him, and maybe for the first time that he can remember, he’s not thinking about Alex. Or Isobel. Or anything that hurts.

That doesn’t last though. Alex shows up, reignites every emotion Michael has ever felt for him, and leaves Michael more certain than ever that he’ll never get to have Alex the way he wants him. (I have another meta on this coming, I promise). And so he’s hurt and alone again.

And he has Maria’s necklace.

So he decides to give it his best shot. He brings her the necklace, laying on a casual desire. Keeping it cool while still making clear what he wants.

And I’ve already talked about what happened with Maria and Alex between the ride home and Michael showing up, but the important take-aways here are:

Maria did not truly accept her feelings for Michael until she heard herself lie about them to Alex

Maria does not know Alex and Michael’s history beyond “they kissed once as teenagers” and “Alex still loves him”

Maria never wants to see that look of pain on Alex’s face again

And Alex knowing about them sleeping together also tells Maria that Michael, within hours of promising not to do so, told him. So she’s understandably pissy about that.

She cuts right to the chase when Michael starts to flirt.

And Michael’s face is… wounded.

Because he came to Maria to forget about Alex. He came to Maria because he likes her, and because he wanted to see if that spark he felt could light a fire, could turn into something real. He’s exploring, for the first time, the potential of really falling for someone who isn’t Alex.

And that’s what it is, at this point: potential.

But Maria says no, so he does with Maria the exact same thing he did when rejected by Alex - he deflects. Pretends he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. “Why do you keep saying it can’t happen again, I got it the first time. That’s not why I’m here at all!” (narrator voice: it was, in fact, exactly why he was there).

And both of their faces when Michael walks away tell us this isn’t want they want.

This scene is a little bit devastating. Seeing Maria refuse herself something she wants. Seeing Michael once again turned away due to something outside his control.

But he takes the hint and leaves. He’d made an attempt and was shut down, and he wasn’t going to push it.

It appears they don’t see each other again until the morning of the Gala, when Maria straight up pretends she doesn’t see him.

And Michael calls her on it, because it’s bullshit and he knows it. They were friends before they slept together and he’ll be damned if he’s gonna let that get in the way of what appears to be his only human connection aside from Alex.

Maybe it’s me, but this line was delivered with exactly the right amounts of relief and disappointment. Relief that she won’t have to endure seeing Michael in a tux. Disappointment that she won’t get to see Michael in a tux. It’s a Mood.

Michael makes a joke because that’s what they do. Maria said no, but he wants to ease them back into their friendly camaraderie. He doesn’t want to lose his friendship with Maria.

But Maria can’t do what she and Michael do. Because what she and Michael do is why she fell for him. So she can’t let them go back to being banter friends across the bar, not yet anyway. She needs time and she needs space so she can get over him.

Not to mention: Maria doesn’t know. Period. Maria doesn’t know Michael’s feelings for her might be genuine. Maria doesn’t know that Alex and Michael’s history is fraught and traumatic and painful. Maria doesn’t know that Michael and Alex were seeing each other over the summer. Maria doesn’t know that their history doesn’t start and end with that kiss in the museum. She doesn’t know that Michael still has feelings for Alex. And while Maria knows Alex is in love with Michael, she doesn’t know he’s made any effort to show that to Michael.

And she doesn’t want to hurt Alex. He’s always been there for her and she wants to protect him. To protect herself.

So she makes a jab about the museum - it was intentional insofar as she meant to drive the wedge of Alex further between them, but again, she does not know what else happened after Michael kissed Alex at the museum. She isn’t trying to hurt Michael here, she’s trying to build a wall.

When Michael says “It’s over. It’s been over,” she has no reason not to believe him.

And Michael isn’t saying that because he’s trying to come on to her again. He’s saying that because he can see that Maria feels guilty and he’s trying to assuage that. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

The look Maria gives Michael here. The glance to his lips. She is gone on this man already. She wants him. She wants to believe him. She wants to be allowed to give in to him.

But she’s not. So she throws up more spikes and walks away.

This moment makes a whole lot more sense if you remember that, as far as we know, Michael has only ever given even a single shit about two humans in his entire life: Alex and Maria. We know what Alex is and was to him, the narrative makes it absolutely clear that Michael has been in love with Alex for a decade and has essentially been idling, just like Max, for Alex to come back. He sees their love as cosmic.

And we know what Maria is to him. She’s his friend. Someone who gets him, at least the little stuff. The light stuff. His sense of humor, his penchant for drowning his sorrows in substances, his compassion and his dependability.

Someone threatening that friendship? The one and only truly painless thing he’s ever found on this forsaken planet? Not a smart person.

Michael and Max make it to the Gala and that protective streak flares again. Because he was right. And Maria is innocent and now she’s vulnerable, and he’ll be damned if he’s gonna let anything happen to her.

This is him continuing to not push boundaries, even when she can’t hear him. She said they can’t continue whatever it was they started, but they were friends before that and he wants to go back to that. Go back to fun.

Not to mention that he is visibly worried in a way we have only seen him express before for Isobel and Alex.

He sits there, holding her, letting his presence be known as a comfort, stroking her hair.

So that when she wakes, she knows immediately that she is not alone. That she is safe and being looked after.

And at the first sign that she may not want him there? He immediately offers to leave, and not only leave, but find someone else she trusts to look after her so that she still won’t be alone.

“You gotta stop showing up for me like this, Guerin.” is what she says, but what she means is “you have to stop reminding me why I fell for you. Stop making it so hard for me to get over you just by being you.”

(And also just a reminder here that Maria is still under the influence of an inhibition-lowering drug. That means it makes her do and say things she would not normally allow herself to do/say. She’d never have admitted these feelings to Michael had she been sober, or under the influence of an intoxicant she’s used to, but this is not that. This is literally a date-rape drug and anyone who has anything shitty to say about Maria in this scene can Fite Me.)

And when Maria says that she never wants him to leave?

Riley put it best: “That is not the face of a man whose feelings have just been reciprocated. That is the face of a man whose life just got very complicated.”

His lips barely twitch towards a smile but he can’t even hold it. He knows he’s supposed to be happy, but he can’t feel it. He wanted to believe that he could want this, that his feelings for Maria could drown out the way he feels about Alex, but like with Maria not realizing her feelings until she heard herself lie, I don’t believe Michael truly recognized his lack of feelings until he heard Maria admit the depth of hers.

I think Michael absolutely, 100%, no doubt cares deeply for Maria. I believe he is unquestionably attracted to her. I think she makes him happy and feel light because she’s not bogged down in the trauma that marks his life, and because she, by her own admission, actively tries to be the Fun Friend.

And I think Michael wants to have feelings for Maria. Because he believes he can’t have Alex and continuing to dwell on that will only continue to hurt him. He wants to move on, and Maria is literally walking perfection. There is no reason Michael shouldn’t absolutely return every bit of her feelings and then some.

But he doesn’t. He can’t. His heart belongs to another.

Now we don’t see the end of the night for Michael and Maria, but we do know that he takes her home. How do we know this? Because there’s no way a man who emphatically threatened to explode anyone who came near her while she was drugged would let her go home alone. Not a chance in hell. I doubt they talked at all, but he made sure she made it home safely.

And that, as far as we know, is the last time that they see each other before the finale, before Michael shows up wrecked and broken and needing to feel something, anything, that doesn’t hurt.

I’ll be diving into his, Maria’s, and Alex’s headspaces, and then taking a look at the dynamic as a whole, but none of what happens in the finale makes any kind of sense if you don’t fully recognize everything that came before it. What lead to it. It was a perfect storm of emotion and heartbreak, and this is just one cloud.

#miluca #m&m #michael guerin #maria deluca #roswell new mexico #rnm meta #rnm #miluca meta #i just have a lot of feelings #on michael & maria #i've been working on this since i finished episode 9 #sooooooo here it finally is lolololol #michael guerin meta #maria deluca meta

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kuntrabida · 4 years

Text

2. the axon snaps and thoughts can’t travel (a rant abt COVID-19, senior year spring, and college in the fall)

12 may 2020

the gap year. the fall sem. the jump cut. the FUTURE. much on my mind right now folks lmao (prob folk in singular since like one (1) person’s gonna read this ashvcxjkv)

okay so let’s break this DOWN ig. yea LET’S unpack my inner psyche and my mental baggage at this point because i’m sure that i can’t be the only one feeling this way and even if i am, i’d like to get it off my chest and not rant to the same five people who’ve heard me talk about the same sad subject throughout the entire duration of quarantine asdjfkvcxufdsw

let’s start with senior year haHA :) still haven’t gotten over that xoxo even tho i’ve tricked myself into thinking that i have! gonna refer to it as ye olde Jump Cut because that’s exactly what all this feels like... like mother nature just threw the video file of my high school experience into a fuckinn Premiere timeline or smth and slammed her fist on the W key (an esoteric reference, i know, i know, my bad, but iykyk).

THE JUMP CUT – senior year’s over and i know it’s a stupid fucking thing to be upset about during a LITERAL GLOBAL PANDEMIC where people are losing and risking their lives and entire livelihoods are being upended but i still... can’t help but feel upset and terrified and devastated about what i’ve always viewed as this buffer period in my life between high school and college to just VIBE and figure myself out a little bit more being cut short. especially when, for once, things were going so well.

god, the last thing i wanna do is sound dramatic and utterly tone deaf because I RECOGNIZE my privilege and how incredibly fortunate i am to have a roof over my head and food in my fridge and a bed with a damn duvet cover to sleep in at night but i’m... so fucking sad. i’ve BEEN so fucking sad, and i think what’s even worse is the fact that i’ve been DENYING how fucking sad i’ve been feeling because i don’t think i’m... allowed to be sad in this situation? but at the same time i consciously understand that my feelings are valid and everything... it just feels like legitimately everything else in the world right now dwarfs all my concerns combined. but alas. here i am, making a blog post about my feelings to finally try and sort them out...

i just aghsdfhxhzjlk i wasn’t finished. that really is the best way to put it. i wasn’t finished with any of it. and i suppose a lot of that is my own fault for taking all the good times for granted (but also lowkey the fault of idek who... american society? for romanticizing and commodifying the culmination of high school oop)/

i feel like so many people focus on those big milestone events associated with senior year: prom, graduation, senior awards, etc. but to me personally, and to nearly every one of the friends i’ve talked to, it’s the little things that matter most — the absence of which we feel the deepest. i miss spilling coffee on myself in the cafeteria and burning frozen pastries in the toasters and complimenting people’s outfits in the hallways and staying in the building from dawn till dusk and eating takeout on the floor and hastily texting my friends at the end of the school day asking if they wanted to hang out or if they could give me a ride home and i MISS spontaneous sushi and starbucks excursions and quiet heart to hearts in coffee shops and last minute target runs and stressing out about music events and belting in the practice rooms and learning choreography in parking lots where confused drivers would momentarily glance over and just KEEP ON DRIVING and lying on the ground in one of the school’s hallways facing the sun when the light would hit JUST RIGHT through the glass and i could close my eyes and pretend i was at the beach or on an island or in a canyon somewhere or SOMETHING, anywhere, anywhere but there. and i feel this chasm in my throat whenever i think about it because looking back at those moments, i realize that there’s literally no place i’d rather be right now than inside my high school building on a normal ass day dealing with normal ass problems with exceptional, radiant, life-giving souls there to have my back and support me and hug me wow, GOD, hug me. wow how i miss hugs. and I miss my friends. shit.

hell bro i even miss the days where everything would become a little too much for me and i’d have to find recluse in a digital media classroom and the scent of old lemon-laced coffee grounds as they brewed into dingy styrofoam cups and wandered through the halls with me during the period, into the music room where i literally grew UP and found my voice and discovered validity in my own identity and all that JAZZ and into the bathrooms where i’d spend such subtle, unsuspecting mornings with friends still practically sleepwalking and FUCK bro. frankly i’m just not ready to jump into a life where all the things i hold dear are “remember when”s. i can’t imagine this entire world that i’ve built for myself being a thing of the past, a thing that i’ll look back on as one of the best fucking times of my life even though i never realized it when it mattered, a thing i still want so so so much more of, that i am not and may not ever be ready to let go. i want it all back. but i know getting upset over it is a futile pursuit, because there’s nothing i can do, and that just fuels this feedback cycle of anger and hopelessness and denial and back again.

i do think of that good ol’ winnie the pooh quote, though. “how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” but it doesn’t really make anything hurt any less. and i guess i’m just tired of hurting lol.

THE FUTURE – dawg what the fuck is happening with colleges in the United States right now bro what is the protocol what do i DO¿

pretty damn self explanatory. my defense mechanism has ALWAYS been, “at least things will be better a couple months from now!!!!” and yeah, with university and the reality of getting to attend my dream college fast approaching i did believe that for a hot second but CORONA DAWG CORONA just plunges everything into the sea of uncertainty. i know i’m not the only one frustrated by this damn virus and i should be comforted by the unity we all have in our confusion but lmao i do not feel any better! no! one! has! any! answers! asdjfkvlcxvjl being a graduating high school and incoming college student right now is so FUCKING confusing and frightening and once again i want to acknowledge what an incredible privilege it is to even have the option of a higher education open to me but it’s such a multifaceted and unpredictable issue this year and thinking about the future — again my go-to defense mechanism and at the very least a worthy consideration since i’ll be putting down hella dollars for it — has been the cause of so much stress...

THE FALL SEM – i! don’t! know! if! it’s! gonna! be! on!line! and i am not planning on staying in my house any longer for a goddamn variety of reasons soo i have no clue how to plan for this! no one does right now!

our administration keeps affirming that we’re planning for a return to normalcy in the fall semester but a considerable amount of students and experts alike are saying that it’s essentially a cover so no one’ll panic and decline or defer their acceptances. SO MANY OTHER COLLEGES are revealing their contingency plans to have an online semester and ahaHA if i have to STAY in this HOUSE for ANOTHER 4 MONTHS that would FRICKIN SUCK DAWG lmaO i’ll leave it at that! so i’m: very much panicking!

i know that things are so uncertain right now and there’s really no point in trying to predict what’s going to happen in the next couple of months because so many unknowns remain. i know that a lot of universities are gonna be in deep shit if they don’t open in the fall but at the same time, if it’s a damn public health risk it’s definitely better to keep as many people home as possible. but i have no CLUE what institutions are gonna end up doing and again, literally no one does either! i was listening to a podcast yesterday about university plans for the upcoming academic year and i got asdhvjckxv so stressed when they said that we could be one week away from the start of the school year and things could still be drastically different the next week... there’s just no way of knowing much of anything and god i hate that. it’s making me so goddamn anxious.

i really doubt things are going to be back to normal in New York in the fall sooo...? i don’t know man again it comes down to asking people questions they don’t have the answers to and that’s just incredibly frustrating because i just want to know ONE THING for certain right now. ONE THING! idk i just wish that my college would be a little more transparent about their plans as they move along and figure things out but i know that’s not feasible. at the very least i hope things will be safe enough for them to make dorming on campus an option — freshmen have a pretty ample amount of singles available anyway. but if i have to spend the first semester of college onLINE in THIS HOUSE that’s... gonna suck. especially because i’m still probably going to be paying thousands of dollars for it which is, as my grandmother says, foul!

THE GAP YEAR – to defer or not to defer? that is the question.

so naturally in preparation for a potentially wonky ass academic year i’m considering deferring enrollment. but lmao... the deadline to do so is in uh *checks watch* three (3) literal days so. don’t know about that chief!

like, i know i’m PROBABLY NOT gonna end up taking a gap year. but i guess it’s just the fact that i have so much more canvas space to daydream about it that makes it so appealing... there are so many more possibilities that i can think of that are more likely to be open to me. then again, nothing’s guaranteed. not even my own health in the fall. which is also pretty fuckin scary as hell.

y’all wanna know where i get my gap year daydream fuel? UNJADED JADE. bruh i’ve been binging her videos like MAD especially the ones where she interrails Europe during her gap year and UGH. it seems incredible. and that makes things even more confusing because i really don’t know what the right decision to make is right now. to defer or not to defer...

again it’s all so heavily influenced by unknowns. of all the things that could happen, i’d much prefer to have a regular freshman year fall with the people in my class whom i’ve already been getting to know pretty well through groupchats and social media and the like. they’re a pretty dope bunch and i think college with them is gonna be a hoot and a goddamn half. but if i’ll end up just staying home and watching zoom lectures in my basement anyway... i’d much rather be taking a gap year.

and i’ve been brainstorming what i’d do during this gap year (again, thanks Unjaded Jade for the god-tier content agh) and there’s just like... so many options. i could get a goddamn JOB and start saving up for tuition instead of paying tens of thousands for online school. hell with the money i make working full time i could probably save up enough to afford an apartment so at the very least i could move out of my house into a place where i feel more comfortable. and lmao I: s a l i v a t e at the thought of using that time to focus on my writing, too. the amount of writing i could get done in a year of empty calendar space... glorious. what an utterly glorious prospect.

and of course, i’d love to fucking travel, volunteer (with a reputable and well-intentioned organization) in a foreign country, do a workstay abroad, take a train across america, but again, i don’t even know if any of that’s going to be feasible in the fall. it’s so FRUSTRATING because i’ll think of a possibility and then another one comes in and completely shuts the former down.

and it’s not like i can ask anyone for advice right now because we’re ALL none the wiser. plus, i’ve realized that frankly, even if it’s unreasonable, i don’t want anyone to tell me that my plans for a gap year aren’t feasible. it’s such a petulant thing to say... but i don’t want anyone to add to my sense of there being a limited amount of options that i can take advantage of because everything’s already so goddamn stifling as is. i guess the prospect of a gap year excites me so much because it seems like a year where i don’t have to be defined by anyone or anything but myself. and that’s so fucking liberating.

i just want the freedom to imagine right now because that’s when i feel happiest, but at the same time i’m afraid to get my hopes up for anything because i have this sinking feeling that the absolute worst case scenario is going to become reality. lmao. people in my state aren’t even fucking social distancing correctly so i’m damn sure that we’re in for a second and a third wave and that’s gonna suck but people are stupid as hell :)

lol on that positive note, thanks for reading this... increasingly depressing and chaotic rant. don’t really think i’m doing this “blog” stuff right but if you got this far, i love you. leave a note if you so please, comment your thoughts, reblog if you’d like (still don’t really understand the difference between reblogging and reposting on this app but lmao feel free to click the boxy arrow thing), and stay safe and healthy and all that jazz <3

#corona #high school #senior year #college #rant #blog #if you can call a frayed amalgam of rants a blog lmao #writeblr #i'm doing this shit wrong I can FEEL IT #anyway thanks for reading #I read this back and it sounds way more dramatic and deep than it is I apologize for the melodrama

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