Deacon, Mac, and X6 react to sole just freaking kissing them right on the mouth (we’re gonna assume they’re very very close and kind of a situationship at this point)
Oh boy.. ok.
Situationship?™︎
Deacon:
It was no secret Sole and Deacon were into each other. It was blindingly obvious everywhere they went. No matter how hard the spy tried to hide it, to ignore it and push it out of his head, to bottle it up and throw it out, everyone around them could always tell. Maybe it was the way he got antsy when they weren’t around, or the fact that he literally didn’t leave their side when they were. Maybe it was their late night talks or their week-at-a-time spontaneous adventures. Whatever it was, he hated it. He hated people being able to read him.
He also hated it because he was doing Barbara dirty. Everyone would say she’d want him to move on, right? To be happy? But he didn’t deserve to be happy. She died because of him. He didn’t deserve a good person like Sole, a person so much like Barbara in so many ways that it made him sick and gave him butterflies at the same time. He didn’t deserve to be happy, because, what if Sole died because of him? He wouldn’t be able to handle that.
So, one afternoon in Sanctuary, standing against the shed near the garden, he settled it. He was going to bury every single ounce of the middle school crush he had on Sole and never think about it again. Never. But, all of that flew out the window on the immediate, because they were walking out of their house with a mile-wide-smile, hopping down the steps toward him with those stupid shiny eyes and stupid silly grin.
That was it. He had to leave, like he always did when things got uncomfortable.
As Sole approached him for the conversation he thought would be their last, his entire mind, body, and very essence of his being went into some kind of shock. Because Sole didn’t speak when they got close, no, they pulled him forward and crashed their lips into his with a passionate eagerness, like they’d been waiting to do it for so long.
A huge wave of emotions bubbled up inside of him; excitement, craving, passion. But the last time he felt those was when he kissed Barbara, and he was betraying her by feeling them again. He hated feeling them again. If he felt them again, that’d mean she died for nothing.
So he did the exact opposite of what he wanted to. He shoved Sole away.
They stared at him, stunned, and he suddenly wished his sunglasses were a little darker. He felt absolutely naked in front of them for what seemed like the first time.
“I… I’m sorry, I thought…” They stammered, face going beet red. They turned away. “I should’ve… asked.”
Deacon felt like a child. For the first time, he couldn’t force a lighthearted joke out of his throat, he couldn’t say anything. Why couldn’t he say anything?
“I’m just gonna… yeah,” Sole trailed off, turning and walking back toward their house. He started to panic, to scream in his head because the person he loved just kissed him and he was blowing his only chance.
But Barbara.
That was what kept him from moving from his spot. But Barbara. He couldn’t betray her. Not yet. Not after she died because of his mistakes.
So, Deacon did what Deacon always did. He disappeared. For a day. Or two. Or three. The whole time he was absolutely wracking his brain trying to figure out what to do, but every suggestion ended with But Barbara. Just give in and be with them, But Barbara. Just tell them you feel the same way, But Barbara. Tell them about her, about how you can’t be with them because of her, But Barbara would want him to be happy.
Deep down, he knew she would. She was his sweet, sweet Barbara, the precious woman that couldn’t bare to see him the least bit down. That couldn’t stand watching him beat himself up for his past. But Barbara was dead, and her wanting him to be happy didn’t apply anymore.
…Did it?
…Or did it just apply more?
He finally decided to go back to Sanctuary four days later at midnight. Most of the settlers and other companions were sleeping, but he knew Sole would be awake. That was the only time they got to think.
He didn’t even really know what he was doing when he walked across Sanctuary’s bridge, eyes locked on the vault-suit clad figure that sat on the rickety wooden railing. Barbara would want him to be happy.
Sole didn’t seem to notice his presence, even though he knew they had. The boards were squeaky under his feet and the night’s silence made it even louder.
He didn’t even recognize his own voice when he asked: “She’d want me to be happy, wouldn’t she?”
Sole turned on the handrail, sitting to face him. Their expressions softened, and they breathed out a sigh of relief upon seeing him home and uninjured. “Barbara?” They questioned. Why weren’t they mad at him? “Of course she would. From what you’ve told me, she hated it when you weren’t happy.”
He nodded to himself, thankful the dark was hiding the mess that he’d become.
Sole sighed, hopping off the handrail. “Look, I’m really sorry about the other day. It was selfish of me not to ask, especially knowing about… her. I would never try to force you into anything you don’t want, and it was incredibly insensitive of me to do that to you. All that really matters to me is that you’re safe and happy. So, with that said, I totally crossed a line and I’m not going to give you any lame excuses to justify myself. I’m just sorry, and glad your home safe.”
His eyes lingered on them as they started to cross the bridge back into the neighborhood.
“I’m not,”
He didn’t even realize he’d said that until Sole turned to look at him.
“You’re not glad you’re home safe?”
“Wha- No,” Why was it so hard for him to talk to them? It had been a breeze up until now. “I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry you kissed me.”
Sole furrowed their brows. “Oh?”
Deacon was reeling. He couldn’t remember a time where he didn’t know exactly what to say, and it made him feel like a five-year-old confessing to their playground crush. Why didn’t he know what to say? Where had all of the words and jokes and catchphrases and snarky comments gone?
And why in the hell couldn’t he force himself to lie?
“I didn’t want to shove you away, it was more of a fight or flight kinda thing. It reminded me of her and it was… weird,” He stated, glancing down at his feet. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t like it… that I don’t like you…”
Sole shifted their weight on their feet. “Okay…”
He nearly slapped himself in the face. He had never been reduced to such a bumbling mess in front of someone before. What was he even doing?
He was utterly out of words.
“Are you okay, Deacon? You aren’t being yourself. Did something happen while you were gone?” They asked, taking a few steps forward that only seemed to magnify everything he was feeling.
“No,” He replied, not daring to meet their shiny eyes. “I just… uh…”
Crap, he met their shiny eyes.
“You can talk to me, Deacon. You know that,” They stated softly. He really wanted to, but they didn’t understand that he was physically incapable of speaking to them for reasons unknown. How was he supposed to tell them if he couldn’t even come up with the words?
Okay, screw it. What did he have to lose? He couldn’t talk, couldn’t think straight, couldn’t lie even though it came as naturally to him as breathing. So he did the single mint uncomfortable thing he could’ve done.
He just freaking kissed them.
It wasn’t anything like the first; neither of them were really sure of what they were doing, unlike Sole last time. But neither of them pulled away. It was quick, only a few seconds, and gentle, but Deacon swore his entire life flashed before his eyes during that short moment their lips were locked together. And he didn’t want to continue living it without them.
“So, does that mean you’re, uh…” Sole trailed off, brushing a hand through their hair. “You’re in?”
Deacon finally felt like he could breathe again. “I’m in.”
MacCready:
MacCready and Sole were the textbook definition of inseparable. Everyone knew if they saw one, they were going to see the other, and if they didn’t, they needed to sound an alarm. They were practically attached at the hip like they’d been friends since birth, even though they’d only really known each other for a year or less.
He knew he liked Sole. Sole knew they liked him. Now they were just stuck in a vigorous spin-cycle of pretending they didn’t because they didn’t know if the other felt the same. But their pretending was painfully horrendous. Sole touched him? Brush it off as just a friendly thing. MacCready laughs at everything they say? Wow, they must be funny. Neither of them can stand being away from each other? Dang, they must’ve just needed a really good freaking friend after their spouses died. Because that’s all they were. Friends. The best of friends. The friendliest of friends anyone had ever seen. The friendliest of friends that were trying their hardest to flirt with each other, then talking themselves into believing they weren’t being flirted with.
MacCready wasn’t usually one to stick around someone with mixed signals and inconsistencies, but c’mon, it was Sole, and even if they didn’t like him, he wasn’t just gonna up and leave. Even if they fell in love and married someone else.
Oh no, why did it hurt so bad to think about them being with someone else? He and Sole were sprawled on Sole’s couch when he decided to let himself think about it. Surely they didn’t like anyone else, right? Wait, why was he thinking like that? Sole could like whoever they wanted. They were their own person. They could date. They could marry. But God, the more he thought about it, the more it hurt. Geez, he needed to get a grip on this. What was he supposed to do?
“Seems like you and Hancock have a good thing going,” He muttered. What in the world was he talking about? He knew for a fact Sole wasn’t into Hancock, they’d talked about it with him before as a simple pastime, but he couldn’t come up with anything better to say at that point. He needed to really convince himself they didn’t like him so he could get over it. Sole glanced over at him, scrunching their face into a “what the heck” expression.
“Hancock? God, no. He’s sweet and a great friend, but totally not my type. What in the world made you think that?” They chuckled, nudging his arm with their socked foot.
“What?… did I say Hancock? I meant Danse!” He stammered, hardly even making any sense to himself.
“How on Earth did you get them mixed up?” Sole snickered, pushing a few buttons on their pip-boy. “I don’t like Danse, either. I mean, I like him as a friend, and he definitely needs some of those, but… I don’t know. Taking things any farther than friends with someone so loyal to The Brotherhood just doesn’t feel right, you know?”
MacCready nodded, half to them, half to himself.
��What made you wonder?” Sole asked. MacCready shifted with a shrug.
“I dunno, you know, just… thought you’d been spending more time with him than… usual,”
“I’ve been with you every day. You’re with me when I hang out with him. It should be pretty obvious at this point that I don’t like him. You’re supposed to be my best friend, dude, and you can’t even read me anymore!” They jokingly nudged him with their foot again with a light chuckle. A light chuckle that awakened the itty bitty butterflies that decided to have a circus inside of him every time Sole did something like that.
“You’re not that easy to read, you know,” He muttered, shaking his head with a small smile.
Sole chuckled. “I could say the same about you.”
“I thought we were close enough to read each other,”
“Me, too,”
“Guess not,”
“Yeah,”
They fell into an uncomfortable silence, both glancing around the room. Great. Now he’s gotten nowhere on convincing himself Sole actually didn’t like him, and he’d backed them into an awkward conversation corner.
“You’re pretty oblivious, too, actually,” They added. He glanced up at them.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,”
“So are you,”
“Really?”
“Uh-huh,”
“Great,”
“Yeah,”
They went silent again. What did they mean he was oblivious? They were even more oblivious for not picking up his hints. But had they…
Oh God. Had they actually been flirting with him the whole time? And it wasn’t just his imagination spinning their actions out of control? Is that why they called him oblivious? And why was it so freaking hot in there?
“Well, now that all that is crystal clear and figured out, I’m gonna go… do stuff,” He muttered, rising from the couch and bee-lining toward the door. He’d almost made it out of dodge, when Sole grabbed his shoulders.
“Hey, wait. Why did you ask me about Danse?” They questioned. He turned around, shrugging their hands off of him. They were only a foot away, maybe less, and the lack of proximity between them was making his brain malfunction.
“I dunno,” He muttered, looking anywhere but at Sole.
“Filthy liar, you’re not even looking at me! Why did you ask about Danse?” They were being stern, but somehow still soft like they always were. MacCready’s brain was spinning trying to come up with a good answer.
He tried to look at them, at their big doe eyes, but failed and looked at his feet. “I just thought you might… like him…”
“No you didn’t,”
He shifted uncomfortably. “Yes I did.”
“Tell me the truth, RJ. Did you ask because you like me?”
His heart almost shot out of his chest when his name rolled off their tongue so perfectly. He literally felt his face getting red, oh God, he looked like a flustered middle schooler, why couldn’t he keep it together? What was he, thirteen?
He opened his mouth to say no, but something else happened instead. Their lips met his before he could speak.
MacCready went ramrod stiff, eyes wide with shock as he fully processed that Sole was kissing him. They were actually kissing him, with their mouth on his mouth, for real. They were actually flirting with him the whole time? He actually had a chance? His entire brain was fuzzy and foggy from everything flying around in it throughout the entire (albeit tiny) length of the kiss.
When Sole pulled away, they stared at each other. He was still, for lack of better words, shook, and Sole looked worried. Like they’d crossed a line.
“Sorry… guess I should’ve given you time to answer the question before I did that, huh?” They questioned. MacCready was at a loss for words for a solid five seconds before he stammered:
“Uh, well, I-um, I didn’t not like it,” He stated, pulling the rim of his hat down to try and cover his tato red face. “I just didn’t… I thought, you know-“
“You liked it?” Sole perked up, moving slightly so he could see their face.
“I didn’t not like it, there’s a difference,” He added.
“Oh, there is?”
“Yeah,”
“I see,” They stated, and both of them went quiet. They glanced at him for a moment before they continued: “Wanna do it again?”
“Yep,”
X6-88:
Let’s face it, X6 isn’t one for any kind of relationships outside of professional workplace relationships. He isn’t one for feelings because he isn’t supposed to have them. He isn’t one for touch because, well, why else would someone touch him other than to attack?
That all faded when he met Sole, and it was… odd.
He had a substantially low tolerance of humans in general, but Sole, he could tolerate a little more. He wasn’t one for being touched, but pats on the shoulder from them after a job well done was acceptable. The care and admiration he held for them was obviously expected since they were his leader. But when he was with them he always felt a little more human, a bug in his programming he’d have to bring up with them later.
But did he want to?
Yes. He did want to. Because with that minuscule hint of what he pinned as some type of humanity virus sprouting in him, he wasn’t working at a proficient courser level. And if he wasn’t functioning on the level he was created to function, what was the point of still being an in-service Courser? Maybe a mind wipe would successfully return him to the working order he was supposed to be in.
But, when he and Sole were back inside the Institute, staying off the surface for a while, the prospect became daunting. Did he really want to forget everything? He would have to re-learn the entirety of Sole’s leadership capabilities, have to re-learn how they function and the best ways to protect them, and…
And he didn’t want to forget them.
He supposed that was just the virus, the bug inside of him talking. He didn’t want to forget them because what? He’d grown attached? Been manipulated and swayed into feeling human feelings he had no business feeling? Human feelings they’d destroy him for if they learned he had them? No, Sole wouldn’t let anyone destroy him.
But maybe they needed to.
It wasn’t a secret Sole held him near and dear, even if he didn’t want them to. It wasn’t his fault they took a shining to him. That wasn’t how it was supposed to be. He was simply their bodyguard, the person- er… synthetic humanoid that watched over them. Allowing Sole to grow attached to him like that was shirking his very duties. Because now, if anything happened to him, Sole would be hurt. And it was not in his job description to hurt them. He was their protector.
It would probably be better if he went for a complete reset, and another Courser was given his job. That way, the pesky human virus would be gone, Sole would be protected, and everything that made him feel human would no longer be in his life. Or, his… time as an active machine. Therefore, he’d be back in good working order like he was supposed to. He would no longer be the person — ugh, synthetic humanoid he was with Sole.
But if he was going for a reset, should he tell them?
No. It would simply make room for more human feelings he didn’t want to consider.
But, if he didn’t tell Sole, they’d be hurt.
It didn’t matter, though. Because their feelings didn’t affect him. Or, they shouldn’t have.
But they did. And he didn’t want to hurt them.
But that was just the virus talking, he reminded himself. He needed to get that pesky thing out of him, and he’d be normal again, completely cold and devoid of any kind of human feelings. Then, maybe one day, he’d be able to return to his post protecting their leader.
Or maybe he’d be labeled and liability and destroyed at the first mention of his malfunction. After all, Coursers were supposed to be emotionless, and if he’d messed it up once, he could do it again.
Well, if he was getting rid of the human virus, he supposed it wouldn’t hurt to let Sole know. No matter what end he met, a fully restarted life or an ended one, he supposed it’d be best if they knew.
It was midday when he found himself knocking at the door of their quarters. It slid open, revealing them in the bright white Institute jumpsuit they always wore when they were at home. They were smiling like they always were.
“I need to speak with you, sir/ma’am,” He stated. They nodded immediately and moved from the doorway to let him inside. He stepped in slowly, and Sole closed the door.
“I am on my way to get a full reset,” He stated simply. The tiny human part inside of him cringed when Sole’s happy expression immediately contorted into one of shock and worry.
“What? Are you okay? What’s going on?” They asked, moving closer to him with anxiety painted all over their features. X6 pushed whatever human feelings were brewing inside of him away.
“There is something interfering with my programming. A reset is the most effective way to remove it and prevent it from returning,” He explained, following Sole around the room with his eyes as they walked one way, then the other.
“But, you’ll forget everything, X,”
“I understand, sir/ma’am, but I’d rather clear my memory files than continue to be defective,” He responded. But did he really? Yes, he did. But the virus didn’t. And the virus wasn’t him, right?
“What’s bothering you? Maybe we can fix it without having to do the reset, or… or maybe…” They trailed off, running their hands through their hair.
“Being so close with you has done something to me. I’m starting to feel things, which means my internal processes are failing. I require a full reset to put them back in working order,” He replied. Sole walked from one side of the room to the other again.
“Feelings aren’t bad, X. You don’t need a reset,” They suggested. “I can help you. We can work through it all together, I can teach you how to deal with them and how to regulate them.”
He shifted, only slightly. “It’s irresponsible and incorrect for you as leader to allow a defective machine to continue functioning simply due to your partiality toward it, sir/ma’am.”
Sole rubbed a hand across their face, sighing heavily, a hint of emotion surfacing in their voice when they said: “You’re not a defective machine, you’re my best friend. And I don’t… I don’t want to lose you.”
X6 felt the human feelings rushing to the surface again, so he swallowed them down.
“I do apologize, Sole. But I simply can not allow myself to continue working with such a substantial issue.”
Sole looked down at the floor, and something inside of him tightened at the sight of crystal clear tears looking at the bottom of their eyes. They shrugged.
“Well, you know as good as anybody that I can’t stop you. I just… want you to do what you think is right,”
“I appreciate that, sir/ma’am,” He stated. Then, before any other emotions could try and force themselves up his throat, he turned and exited the room without any other words. But as he drifted farther from the door, toward the stairs, Sole’s soft sobs emanated through the air behind him and made something inside him really tight. So tight he stopped at the end of the hallway.
They cared about him so much, they’d cry?
Of course they did, they were human, humans did that. Machines didn’t. And he was a machine. So they cared, and he didn’t. It was simple.
So why couldn’t he make himself walk any farther?
“X!” Sole’s voice rang from behind him. He turned just in time for them to crash into him, pulling him unnecessarily close and, what the hell? They were kissing him.
Everything inside of him seemed to grind to an immediate halt. He wasn’t built for this, for being close, for being kissed. What did they think they were doing kissing him? And why didn’t he push them off like he was trained?
Sole pulled away, their hands resting gently on either side of his neck. He was too busy focusing on those pesky human emotions that were clawing their way up his throat. He didn’t want to forget them.
No, that was the virus talking. He needed a reboot. He needed to be fixed. Right?
“I love you, X. I just… wanted to tell you before you got reset. Shouldn’t do any harm since you’re gonna forget it,” Sole stated, pulling their hands away. They still had tears streaming down their face, and they smiled painfully, turning to head back toward their room.
X6 stood for a moment. It was simply logical for him to get reset… but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to anymore. He wanted… he wanted…
He wanted them.
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