#Which started fights. And stressed me out because I don't like being mean to people. But I also felt like she had a point

[m3r1m4r5u333]

Okay I've settled on my head canon which is that Eddie is bi (or some version of "likes women and men"), too... I need to ramble about it because this popular idea that Eddie is gay just bothers me tbh it just feels ignorant, bi erasurery. And sure, maybe I'll be proven wrong, but in the mean time...

I think the reason why Eddie just can't be happy with the women he's pushing himself to date is because he's only really ever been drawn, and loved, two people: Shannon and Buck.

And these women he's since dated... are neither of those people. So the other relationships are just... fake, unhappy. Not because of sexual incompatibility, but because they're loveless, on Eddie's part.

The romance with Shannon started as a teen-age romance. They were childhood friends and lovers, but they were too young and immature to really handle the stress of parenthood, and despite that, pushed into a marriage.

It was too much for this young, immature, love to survive. Them freaking out and not being a team.... That just started to hack away at their mutual trust, and that eventually killed the romance, and the marriage. This immature love just could not handle all this pressure, and co-exist with that dying trust.

And then, Eddie meets Buck when his and Shannon's marriage is on a break. She's runs, is away for a long time, Eddie is raising Chris alone... And Buck steps in.

And Buck is insanely helpful, a major stress relief -letting Bobby know that Eddie is struggling to find a caretaker for Chris. Researching for ways to help Eddie... He finds Carla to help them. Buck takes one look at Christopher and melts, wants to spend time with them... Eddie thinks "Woah. This guy is amazing. This is someone I can count on, who has my back."

So Eddie just moved on from Shannon. He did love her once... but then they killed their love and marriage, together. Mutual destruction.

Eddie didn't trust her anymore, she didn't trust him after he'd enlisted in a panic to run from the parenthood, from Christopher's diagnosis... they were fighting all the time... and then she just left him alone with Chris.

And I refuse to demonize her for leaving btw, she was young, under a lot of stress, and Eddie was running from his parenthood. Eddie needed that push, to take responsibility, and connect with Chris!!

But still.. She left, Eddie was hurt and alone, and really doesn't trust her anymore, and then he meets Buck.

So Eddie moves on. His and Shannon's romantic love just... dies. And when she finally tries to re-connect. Yes, he still finds her desirable, and the human bond is still an important one. But where's the love?

They've known each other since they were children, they're friends, Shannon is Christopher's mother. But Eddie no longer really loves her like he once did. He tries. He forgives her, for everything, and really tries to mend their marriage, even proposes again after finding out she may be pregnant...

But it's just too late for both of them, they don't really work as a couple, and she realises she is tired of this battle, she is done.

Shannon leaving.... this made Eddie move on from her, even though he tried to deny it, even to himself. By leaving, Shannon gave the final killing blow to their already fractured mutual trust. Then she was gone for a long time, and when she finally came back, Eddie had already moved on, connected with someone else. She even says this - I was away for too long.

She realises that their marriage dead. She is shocked when Eddie keeps pushing her away from Chris, realises their mutual lack of trust. And she finally admits to herself that she doesn't really want to get back together with Eddie.

Eddie is dragging his feet, not really accepting her back, keeps looking for a "sign" that would say they should have another serious go as partners. Only proposes after there's another pregnancy scare.

Shannon thinks, this marriage is too broken, I want out. We both deserve something better than this. So it is a story of falling in love, and falling out of love.

And then she dies, and Eddie grieves, deeply. He did love Shannon, even though their marriage was a failure. He'd loved her in so many ways. She was his friend, she was his wife, she was Christopher's mother.

However, I do feel like the reason why he struggles to date after Shannon's death is a combination of grief - being afraid to try again with anyone... and it's denial of his feelings for Buck, and also fear that what if... This happens again, what if he loves and they leave. I think the key problem here really is Buck.

Eddie has already fallen for someone, and tries to deny it, ignore it. He thinks this is a road that would take him nowhere, so why try. He thinks Buck is straight!

So he starts pushing Buck away because this odd family unit they have...? Where is it going really, he thinks, Buck doesn't want him.

This line, said to Buck:

"Somehow we became a ready-made family and I... I don't know if I'm ready for that."

It's grief for Shannon, and it's unrequited love for Buck, and it's about being unable to love Ana because of those both massive things stopping Eddie from being able to connect with her.

Remember.... that Buck starts dating Taylor before Eddie starts dating Ana?

Eddie, looking like a zombie, hosting Buck and Taylor, telling Buck that he needs to move on, Eddie has. (Yeah it's a lie.)

And remember all these talks about Eddie needing to move on, before he goes on dates?

This is Eddie, trying to move on, and find his third family unit.

The scene with Eddie and Buck when they've just met, Buck bragging that "some of us don't need good lighting to look good..."

And then Eddie at the fire station, looking at Buck, forgetting to introduce Ana to everyone, realising his mistake and saying to Ana;

"Oh, you've never been here!"...

Because she wasn't, Buck's presence just erases her from Eddie's mind, it's like she isn't even in the same room.

It's true, Eddie realises. Buck really doesn't need good lighting to look good, not to Eddie.

"Even in the dark, this place is amazing."

It's terrible, but disturbingly true for Eddie. This feeling, of existing in the darkness, alone, and watching someone who just doesn't need good lighting to look amazing. They just glow anyway, overwhelmingly, they just erase everyone else from your mind.

I feel like this symbolizes deep, unrequited love really well. Even in the dark this place is amazing.

So Eddie keeps struggling. He won't let Buck close because that's killing him, but he also can't let go of him. He's just ...always dying.

And then Buck comes out to him? It's a shock. It's a brief moment of dumb, wide-eyed hope.

But then Eddie immediately realizes... This changes nothing. Buck is dating someone else. Buck is falling for someone else. Buck is still... Just a friend.

Nothing has changed for Buck, and therefore not for Eddie either. Eddie is still alone in this. And keeps dying.

So... The point I'm trying to make here.

I feel like this struggle we're seeing, it's not about Eddie being gay. He fell for Shannon, they agreed the sex was never the problem.

Even this new relationship with Marisol. He does feel sexual desire for her... Their sex life is great... Until he learns that she was almost a nun? Imagine being in the closet, bi, and realising your girlfriend was almost a nun?

It's truly "eyes on the ground". Would she still want her, if she really knew who, or what, Eddie is? Would she be disgusted if she learned about all of Eddie's fantasies?

How can Eddie trust her?

So... That's what making him run from Marisol. I do think he's making a genuine effort to move on from his old flames - Shannon and Buck.

I mean... Remember Eddie's talk with his tia? Learning that she had been married before, and refusing to even try dating someone else, until her friends dragged her out?

And ultimately this made her move on, meeting someone else. And soon she didn't regret trying again.

So Eddie is trying to move on from Shannon, and Buck.

But can he? Is he?

One thing about Buck's coming out, and the following scene, the talk with Eddie...

Noticed the buddie subtext, and the bisexual subtext of the lines when he talks about Marisol there? About needing to go home.

The "menu" is not the issue. The issue is that he doesn't want to go home, to Marisol. (Lol, there's btw that bicycle again, hanging on the wall behind Eddie's back. Bi subtext!!)

Eddie does desire her. ... He just doesn't love her. And that keeps happening... Because his heart is already taken.

#eddie diaz #Marisol Doe #911 buddie #evan buckley #buddie #buddie 911 #911 on abc #evan buck buckley #911 abc #tv: 911 #eddie díaz #bisexual erasure #911 speculation #bi eddie #eddie's pining era #shannon diaz #ana flores #i make no gifs brain is potato

[sanguineterrain]

Hi Sanne! I'm not sure if requests are open, but if you're up to it I'd like to request red hood x reporter! Maybe reporter reader is getting too close to a case and is starting to become a target and hood takes her protection into his own hands? ((Including lots of midnight rendezvous and rooftop bump ins))

i love this prompt sm! i've been thinking about a reporter reader ever since i read task force z :) thanks for requesting!

jason todd x gn!reporter!reader. tw: reader is attacked (but they're okay), guns, violence, fighting, jason being both a force to be reckoned with and a big softie. 2.5k words

****

"I don't need protection."

The Red Hood crosses his arms. You cross yours right back.

"Yes, you do," he says.

"No, I don't. I've lived in Gotham my whole life. I can take care of myself."

"Living around and being in the thick of violence are very different. You're already chasing this story; they will come after you."

And what a story it is. The story of the decade, at the very least. A task force of formerly-dead Arkham patients wielded against Gotham by a mysterious benefactor.

It's terrifying. It's dangerous. It's sure to win you your first Pulitzer.

And it all means absolutely nothing if the Red Hood keeps wrapping you in red tape.

Your jaw ticks. "This is my story, Hood. You can't turn it in, so I will. And I won't be scared off by some slimeball."

"Oh, please. You wouldn't even have known about this story if it wasn't for me, smarty."

Smarty. His favorite moniker for you because, according to him, you think you know everything.

Working with the Red Hood has been an unfortunate side effect of chasing your prize-winning story. Not only is he wanted in twenty-six countries (you Googled it) and is a ruthless crime lord (supposedly formerly, but you're doubtful), but worst of all, he's got an attitude to match yours.

He's also built like a tank, which is why you can't just. Outrun him.

"I can't just not publish the story," you say.

"I don't want to stop you from publishing the story. Hence the protection."

"I can't afford a bodyguard."

"Well, it's a good thing I already paid my rent this month."

You scoff. "The Gotham Gazette has a strict 'no armed and dangerous' policy. I'm afraid we all have to leave our gun-toting vigilantes at home."

You open the driver's door of your car, ready to end the conversation here and now. Hood calmly closes the door with his hip and leans.

You glare. "Get off of my car."

"Fact." He holds up a finger. "These kinds of people always strike before the story comes out. They know you're scared and stressed, and they wanna do it before the story gets out. Otherwise, it's obvious who killed who."

"And where did you read this fact? Crime Lord's Digest? We don't even know if they know I'm the reporter who broke into the lab."

"Listen, smarty, I've been in this game a lot longer than you. I know how they operate," he says, finally getting off of your car, only to lean on the hood. Jerk. "It's only a matter of time before whoever's behind this snuffs you out."

"I am not letting a wanted criminal nest in my apartment!"

"That's why I'd be there."

"I was talking about you, Hood."

"Funny."

"I'm not joking. Look, I appreciate your... help." You try not to show your exasperation. "But there's no way I'm inviting you over to my apartment. That'll set off more alarms. If anything happens, I'll call you. Until then, stay away. Deal?"

Hood looks you over.

"Hm. You're awfully comfortable with giving me orders, smarty."

Your adrenaline spikes for a second. But it quickly calms. You've worked with Hood for a month now. Sure, you were petrified the first week, but it quickly dissipated. You've fallen into an odd camaraderie with him.

It's actually kind of nice, having him on your side. No one at the Gazette gives you the time of day. You've become used to having a partner. Not that you'd ever tell him that.

"You take orders so well, I can't help but dole them out," you say, only a little smirky.

"Watch it," Hood rumbles, only half-serious. Probably.

You beam and wrench open your car door, sliding into the seat.

"See?" you say, turning the ignition. "No snipers waiting to take me out. I'll be fine."

He shakes his head and slides off the hood. "Ten bucks says they'll try by the end of the week."

You close your door. "You're on."

****

As it turns out, Hood doesn't need the end of the week to earn his tenner. Trouble breaks down your door the very same night.

You're on your couch with some well-earned Lebanese takeout when your door is ripped off of your hinges. You shoot up from the couch, chest immediately tight.

Your assailant is masked and isn't that typical, giving masked men everywhere a bad name.

You run to the kitchen, hoping you can grab a knife. But you're grabbed before you can get there. You slip on the carpet and trip further into your assailant's arms.

"Keep still so I won't make a mess," is all he says.

You start screaming. He covers your mouth and you bite his hand. That earns you a thump on your cheek, so hard your vision blurs.

Bang!

You freeze, expecting the warm drip of blood and the excruciating pain to accompany it. Instead, your assailant falls to the floor, clutching his ribs. You stumble backwards and see Hood at your door, gun still aimed. He stalks over and kicks the assailant in the chest as he does. The assailant groans.

"You okay?"

You're still staring at the man who very nearly killed you a minute ago. Blood roars in your ears. You think you might be close to fainting.

"Hey." Big, gloved hands hold your face. You flinch and hold the owner's wrists. Hood comes into view once more.

"Are you okay?" he asks firmly. "Look at me, look at me, sweet. Breathe. 'S okay. Does anything hurt? Did he—"

Hood cuts himself off as he touches your cheek, where you were hit. He lightly runs a thumb over what is probably a budding bruise.

Hood lets you go and whirls onto your attacker. He hauls him up and presses a gun to his stomach.

"Go ahead, shoot me!" the attacker shouts.

"If I shoot you, it won't be out of mercy. You won't get a quick death. You don't deserve it," Hood snarls, and you suddenly remember all of your good reasons for fearing the Red Hood.

"I ain't telling ya shit!"

"I don't expect you to," Hood says, and fires again.

The man crumples to the ground, but he's clearly still breathing. Still alive. Hood drags him to the door by his collar.

"You go back to your boss. And you tell 'em that they're fucking with the Red Hood now. And, in case I'm not being perfectly fucking clear through all that blood loss—" Hood grabs the man by his hair and wrenches his head back. "If you come for my reporter again, you'll wish I was kind enough to put a bullet in your head."

Hood hauls your attacker outside. You hear a car start a minute later, and it tears down the street.

You look at your guardian angel, spattered in blood.

Not nearly as much blood as I expected, you think manically.

Your body aches and shakes with adrenaline. You can't even get enough control to move to the couch.

"How–how did you get here so fast?" you ask, staring at your now cracked coffee table.

"I've been monitoring your apartment since you got home. One of the traffic cameras picked up a stolen vehicle turning onto your block, so I came here."

You look at Hood. He seems very collected, all things considered.

"You—how did you find my apartment? Have you been stalking me?"

"Please. Lend me a little credit, smarty. I don't need to stalk you to find where you live," he says, holstering his gun.

"Are you insane?!" you burst. "That is such a gross invasion of privacy! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Hood looks at you.

"What's wrong with me is I just saved your life," he says evenly. "And on that note, you owe me ten bucks. Maybe even fifteen, considering it took less than a day for them to do exactly what I said they would."

Your lip wobbles. You don't know what triggers it; maybe it's your scratched up door or torn sofa or the fact that the Red Hood is in your living room right now with blood on his suit.

The tears form quickly. You can't stop them.

You cover your face but a sob claws out of your throat. Soon, you fall into big, heaving cries.

"Whoa, hey." The floorboards creak under Hood's unsure footsteps. "Hey, I didn't mean that. Shit. I was just kidding about the bet part. Aw, don't cry, smarty."

A hand lightly touches your shoulder. You lean in, but don't dare to initiate more contact. So Hood eases you into a side hug, awkwardly patting your other arm. He's extremely warm and solid with muscle, but his chest is soft enough to rest your head on. He unclips his holster so it doesn't dig into your body.

"I was just kidding," Hood says quietly in your ear. He rubs your arm. "'M sorry. Didn't mean to make y'cry."

You sniff and shake your head. "No, it–it's not that, I'm just—God, I'm t-terrified, Hood. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? They're gonna kill me! I'm gonna die before I win my first Pulitzer!"

You try to suck in deep breath but it's not working. Hood leads your unsteady feet to the couch. You sit, fingers gripping his jacket. Hood carefully loosens your grip.

"They're not gonna kill ya, smarty. I won't let 'em. C'mon, let's have a seat. Where's your kitchen?"

You point, lashes still thick with tears. Hood leaves and returns shortly. A glass of water is held to your lips. You drink it, breathing stilted.

"'S okay. Take it easy. Breathe. That's right."

You swallow half of the water, and he sets the glass down on the coffee table. Hood hands you a wad of tissues.

"This is pathetic," you say, wiping your tears. "Can't believe I'm being nursed by the Red Hood."

"I think nursed is a strong word. But it's more than I usually do for my informants. Then again, they don't usually burst into tears."

"Don't make fun of me. I'm fragile."

"I wasn't making fun of you," Hood says, gentler than you've ever heard him. He puts the tissues aside and rests a hand on your shoulder. You turn into it, appreciative of the weight. "You handled this better than most people would. You didn't even pass out. Hell, I've passed out."

You're sure that Hood is leaving out important details behind that anecdote, like fighting off a hundred men or being swallowed by a whale beforehand. You're grateful nonetheless.

You turn to him, fresh tears in your eyes. "They're gonna kill me, Red."

He shakes his head. "No. Listen to me. Nobody is gonna do anything to you, okay? I'm not gonna let 'em hurt you, smarty pie."

"That's an impossible promise," you say. "One of these days, something will happen. You can't be everywhere at once. Especially not while I'm at home."

Hood tilts his head. "Well..."

"Well, what?"

He rubs his throat. An old injury, he'd once told you. The pain flares up sometimes.

"I could call in a favor. Get you into a safehouse."

"You would do that for me?" you ask. You probably shouldn't ask. Shouldn't look a generous vigilante in the mouth. But you can't help it.

"I can't very well publish the story myself, can I?"

You shrug. "I doubt that. You have your ways. Once you have the evidence, you don't need me."

"That's not true," Hood says fiercely. "I do need you."

Your eyes widen. Hood fumbles for a moment.

"That—I mean for the case. Obviously. I don't have any journalistic links besides you. And I wouldn't want the story to fall into the wrong hands."

"Oh." You have a strong urge to wrap your arms around him. Weird. "Well, um, thank you. I appreciate it."

"Don't thank me yet. It'll take me a few days to get the safehouse," he says.

You deflate. "Oh. So I have to stay here until then?"

Hood is quiet for a long time. So long, you briefly revisit your original theory that the Red Hood is actually an AI remotely controlled by a billionaire.

"Hood?"

You reach to touch him. He flinches, a tiny movement. You immediately draw back.

Nope. Still a man.

"Sorry," he says, hand slipping from your shoulder. "I was, uh, going over options. No, your place is toast until we find whoever's behind this. But, um, it would be possible for you to—if you want to, 'cause if you don't, y'know, I understand, but I—it would be doable for you to, uh, stay with me. Until I get the safehouse."

"Stay... in your apartment?"

"'S not far from here. And it's a hell of a lot better protected than your place. And, y'know, I'd be there most of the time, so like..." Hood clears his throat. "Uh, yeah. It'd be safe. I promise."

"I wouldn't want to impose," you say, nervously scratching your arm.

"Mm. If you're scared of staying with me, y'can just say so. I won't take it personal."

He does kind of sound like he's taking it personally.

"No, Hood, it's not that. I don't... I'm not afraid of you. That, uh, went away a while back," you say. "I just... I don't want to burden you. After all, it's your space."

He makes a sound that tells you he's rolling his eyes behind his helmet.

"Saving your life is important, smarty. Why you don't think so, I'll never know."

You make a soft, pleased sound. "Got a real bleeding heart there, Red."

He sighs. "Yeah. I'm working on it."

You grin. "Thank you for rescuing me."

"Part of the job. If you don't wanna stay with me, I could..." Hood hesitates. "With your permission... I could get the Bats involved. Ask one of them to house you."

"You mean Batman?"

Hood grunts. "Preferably anyone but him, but yeah, if it comes to that. He'll probably get involved anyway. Fuckin' busybody."

"The Bats would protect me? But they don't know me."

"Don't matter. If I asked them to, they would. If that's something you want."

You think. Is it something you want?

Sure, any reasonable person would prefer Nightwing or Batman to protect them.

"I don't want to stay with them," you say. "I'd rather stay with you."

He jerks like you've told him the sky is falling.

"You do?" he asks.

"Well, yeah. I know you, Red. And I know you'll keep me safe."

"At any cost," he says.

That simultaneously frightens and thrills you.

"Then I'd like to go home with you," you say. "If you'll have me."

"'Course, smarty. Anything to keep you safe. Go pack some stuff. I'll be out here. You're okay?"

"I'm okay." You stand and turn before he can see what he does to you.

Yes, it's an odd thing, being partners with the Red Hood.

You're starting to fear that you can't have it any other way.

#jason todd x reader #Jason todd x you #Red Hood x reader #Red Hood x you #Red Hood fanfiction #Jason todd fanfiction #Jason todd imagine #Red Hood imagine #dc fanfiction #batman fanfiction #batman imagine #dc imagine #Jason todd x gn reader #inbox #blurb

[slutforsnow]

Skin Don't Matter To Me

Quick a/n before the fic gets started; I am SO SO SORRY to those who were upset/uncomfortable/angry that I made the original billy x black!reader a former slave!reader. I didn't think. I shouldn't have been up at 1am writing. It was horrid and a terrible decision on my end. Forgive me or not, is entirely up to you. Ty to the anons who called me out for it and made me realize it was wrong to do that, biracial or not. I hope you can forgive me 🫂

Tw/CW: insecurities, anxiety, racism is brought up (not comments, just behavior).

Summary: Reader gets insecure about her relationship with Billy after seeing some girls flirt with him.

It was a chill Saturday evening in the saloon as patrons drank, played poker, and chatted absent-mindly. It was an easy night, for sure, aside from a few drunken snide comments made towards reader, but she shrugged them off. After all, she wasn't getting paid to fight the customers.

As she hummed and wiped down the bar, which was currently empty, she stopped midway to wipe some sweat off her face—reader loves her afro, and has no problems pulling it back so she didn't sweat to death while she worked, but some nights it was just too hot and having so many people out and about the saloon was making it harder to deal with.

Her dark skin shone in sweat as she worked but didn't complain. She had to make a livin' somehow, and she wasn't gonna do that by moanin' and groanin'.

As she resumed her work, she flashed a smile towards her boyfriend as he played poker. He was in his favorite seat, watching her work as he placed his bets and ignored the other girls hitting on him and trying to get his attention. He was technically working as well—he and his boys were security for the saloon because some of the customers were still quite horrid to the folks of color who worked, especially the women. They'd try to threaten y/n but were often silenced or kicked out by Billy and his men.

Y/n and Billy had been dating for 2 years, despite the ups and downs of him being a cowboy and the racism she'd face for being a black woman.

As she worked, still humming, she caught sight of some white girls being all touchy and whispering things in his ear. She bit her tongue as to not cause a scene and focused on continuing to grab glasses and wipe down tables.

'He'd never leave me. He's said that,' She thought to herself as a reminder that Billy would never leave her for some white girl. She was his, and he was hers. Yet, despite the constant love and affection he would give her, she still got that nagging fear that he would leave her.

A few hours later, Y/n's shift had ended and the couple were headed back home to the ranch that they bought with their savings over the course of their relationship. Y/n was silent the whole way home, which made Billy worry that he did something wrong.

"Darlin' did I do somethin' wrong?" He asked, setting his hat on a hook by the door as he shut the door behind him.

A lump formed in her throat and she sighed, knowing he'd keep asking if she said nothing.

"It wasn't you, Billy it... it's just my fears," She answered, trying to dismiss her fears.

"Well, what's wrong? It won't go away unless you talk to me."

Damn his smooth and relaxing tone- she didn't want to talk about it, afraid it would turn into an argument about his loyalties but he was so understanding that she knew she she couldn't hide it from him.

"Those... those damn whores that keep touchin' on you like you're not taken," She told him, sighing. "I know it's probably stupid or somethin-"

"Oh thank the Lord, I was hoping you'd bring this up," He breathed out, letting out a relaxed laugh and earning a perplexed look from y/n.

"...What?"

"I've been wanting to tell you about that. I never wanted to stress you out, but I hate, and I mean absolutely fuckin' hate when they do that. It gets so annoyin', I tell them I'm taken and to back off, but do they listen? No." As Billy continued to ramble about how he hated the other women touching and talking to him like he wasn't a taken man, she smiled.

He was so vocal about how much he hated it when they touched and flirted with him that it eased her worried soul and she hugged him tightly.

Fucking hell, she loves this man so much.

#billy the kid #billy the kid smut #billy the kid x reader #billy the kid x you #coriolanus smut #coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #coryo smut #coryo snow #tom blyth x reader #billy the kid x black!reader #billy the kid x reader smut #billy the kid x oc #billy the kid x oc eventual smut #tom blyth angst #tom blyth x reader smut #tom blyth x oc #tom blyth x you #tom blyth #coryo x reader smut #coryo x reader #coryolanus snow #coriolanus x you #billy the kid tv drama #tom blyth as billy the kid #billy the kid angst #billy the kid fluff #billy mccarty #billy antrim #william h bonney

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for breaking up with my partner of four years who I live with?

sorry this is a long one but I don't want to leave stuff out and make it seem biased.

My partner (22F) and I (22F) have been together since senior year of high school, just before COVID hit, and have lived together for a bit over a year now.

It's her first time living outside her parents' house, and early on she was a really crappy housemate. I ended up nagging at her a lot and having to use gentle parenting techniques to get her to do basic housework and do her share of responsibilities. We had a fight around six months in, where I told her I felt like I had to parent her, and she understandably took it poorly. Since then, she's put in a lot more effort around the house in a way that felt less like it was a product of caring, and more like the product of fearing abandonment. I pointed this out to her, and she said that she was trying harder because she loved me and wanted me to be comfortable in our home, though she had made several offhand comments that she was always worried about pissing me off.

I've been clinically depressed for a long time, and one of the chief ways it's manifested is irritation and anger. It developed into a problem, and I started getting therapy/ medication. Often I would end up being pretty mean to her. I felt bad about it, but she would get on my nerves a lot. I get overwhelmed and overstimulated easily. She has unmedicated ADHD and often comes in and starts hyperactively info-dumping about her day without a greeting or anything, knowing I had just woken up (I work nights).

She stopped doing that only after months of me asking her to and enforcing that boundary. Sometimes I was hurtful about it, but when I was nice about it she tended to ignore me or "forget" I'd asked her to stop doing that.

The last six months she's been better about things, but the first six months of living together kinda killed my feelings for her. At first, I thought it was stress from school, work, and other things related to the house (bug infestations, things breaking constantly, standard Landlord Special bullshit). But more and more I found myself annoyed with her. I'd often make rude comments about her behavior out of frustration. When I tried to discuss things more maturely, she'd break down crying and panicking, and I'd reassure and comfort her afterward instead of getting to express my feelings. She'd rarely express hers, just start sobbing and apologizing and saying she'd change, which made me feel awful and like I couldn't express grievances to her.

I'd try to get some space from time to time, and she'd get extremely anxious and seek reassurance, which I'd give to her because I didn't want to start anything. I thought I'd come back around and find happiness with her again. She'd been extremely patient with me throughout the relationship, with my moodiness and temper. I'd tried changing that about myself, but I found that the only thing that ever seemed to help my moods was getting space from her.

In late 2023/Jan 2024 I ended up having to get a couple surgeries, and she was supportive and caring in a way not many people would be for their partners. She made time to take care of me while I was more or less disabled and gave me grace as I worked through the emotional aspects of my health issues.

During this time I started having feelings for her again, but within a week of recovering, I was back to feeling the same sense of vague irritation and resentment as before, even though her behavior had changed and she was objectively being an amazing partner.

I realized I wasn't happy in this relationship and felt tremendous pressure to be responsible for somebody who had fallen behind me in terms of emotional maturity. I couldn't discuss big issues with her without her breaking down and panicking, and I felt like I had to walk on eggshells because of it. I was hurtful to her because of it, and it wasn't fair to stay a relationship I was no longer emotionally invested in.

Before I left for work one day, she ended up pressuring me into talking about what was on my mind after I told her I didn't feel the time was right to discuss it. I told her how I felt and that a breakup seemed like the healthiest way forward for us. She shut down, started crying, panicking, saying that we could work it out and go to couples therapy, etc. By this point, I had kind of lost faith in her ever fulfilling any promises related to therapy. I had to leave for work and she wouldn't stop talking about it, so I ended up apologizing, taking it back, and saying we could work it out.

A busy week or two went by where I was noticeably less nice to her, hoping that when I tried to break up with her again she wouldn't get emotional whiplash from it coming seemingly out of nowhere. I wrote out what I wanted to say in a letter and told her that I had things to talk about, but put them in a letter so she'd have time to process it instead of shutting down. I told her this, as well, to give her something of a warning.

I asked her what she thought we talked about during that big argument, and she said she honestly couldn't remember. We then went to a concert where I got drunk to try and enjoy things (I did) but she couldn't have a good time due to worrying about our conversation. I gave her the letter two days later, left it for her in the morning to read and process while I was in class that day.

It understandably went poorly, and she blames me for being a shitty partner, for being mean, for ruining the concert which was the one thing that she had looked forward to us doing as partners, and for treating her like shit in the weeks leading up to the breakup, and has indirectly asked if I can stay elsewhere on the nights where we'd be sharing a bed. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[comicaurora]

One thing I noticed is ever since MAWSM came out is how people in discussions have been decreasingly calling Clark "Superman" and now almost exclusively refer to him with his real name. Yeah, of course. He is Clark first and foremost. The farmboy from Smallville, Kansas; reporter at the Daily Planet. Superman is an extension of Clark. He's not like the other dude whose hero persona is his core identity. He's just a normal guy at heart who happens to be indestructible. He's just... Clark.

I think it's because until My Adventures With Superman, his primary cartoon presence was in series that were overtly superhero shows with threat-of-the-week formats, where Clark's life was the two-minute framing sequence around Superman getting to do the good stuff. Even the original Fleischer superman cartoon was ten-minute shorts that couldn't afford to go slice-of-life when they could be animating Superman punching a hole in a jet.

There have been little moments that hinted at this in other series - the Justice League episode Comfort and Joy springs to mind, being one of the only downtime episodes the team gets, where J'onn sees Clark back home on the farm with Ma and Pa Kent and is surprised at how relaxed and genuine he is when he isn't "working", aka "being superman." But for the most part Clark doesn't get that kind of personal focus, and the seasons that center on him are entirely about Superman's villains and the risk of Superman becoming a despot like his Justice Lord counterpart.

Live-action shows have been a little better about this, if only because of the SFX requirements of superman meaning it's cheaper and simpler to lean into Hometown Hero Clark Kent, exemplified in the series Smallville, which had an actual development policy that Clark was never allowed to put on the cape or costume. It started as teen drama where the protagonist just happened to have superpowers and a weird allergy to green rocks, and for a while it even had a similar gimmick to MAWS, where every other episode he developed a new power or discovered a new trait of his physiology that the audience was already expected to know about. But the problem there is that the audience also has the biggest point of dramatic irony hanging over their heads for the entire show - we know Clark's destiny is to become Superman. So while the show is ABOUT Clark, there's this tonal undercurrent that most of the messy things that make him Clark are things he'll eventually outgrow.

I think what's making My Adventures With Superman work is that it's (a) deeply sincere and (b) centered on the thesis that Clark is an emotional, vulnerable person AND ALSO a flying invulnerable brick with laser eyes, and his stress over his powers isn't just "aw it's tough to be a god now put on the tights already" but it's the very reasonable "I don't know why I'm like this, I don't understand what it means or if it's dangerous, I can't stop breaking the things I touch but I don't want to be alone."

Clark's isolation has always been something other characters muse about privately (usually Batman) or a bit of fridge logic he turns into a cool boast (the World of Cardboard speech reframing every fight he's ever been in by telling the audience he is 100% pulling his punches ALL THE TIME) but to my knowledge it's never been played for this deeply impactful and HIGHLY resonant "there is Something Wrong With Me that I don't have a name for but I will regardless find a way to live with myself and the people I love."

When Superman is framed as Clark's inevitable destiny, we lose sight of the fact that Clark is, by necessity, the kind of person who would create Superman.

#asks #not aurora #media recs

[weebsinstash]

for the whole marriage thing, it would be kinda funny if you marry someone else out of spite, especially right after Miguel found out that you two were actually destined for each other.

You, out of breath and looking upset: Dude, this is gonna be a lot but, I need your help doing something to spite Miguel--

Hobie: don't even have to finish mate, you've already sold me on it

You: you and I need to get married because I wanna be my own person and rebel against Miguel because he wants US to get married but I don't want to because fuck him and fuck canon and I wanna choose my own destiny idk am I being dumb 🥺

Hobie, who Definitely Has Nothing To Gain Here Wink Wink: alright, that's what I'm talkin about, fuckin mental, let's do it 😌 fight the man ✊️

But no for real, you were actively avoiding relationships and suddenly Miguel hits you with "you and I are canon and I want to start getting to know each other better" and you're, I dunno, would "panic fucking" work. Would you be so bold. You're just trying to hook another person that YOU choose (and again Hobie would still apply here lmao) because, no, no, you can't let canon TRAP you like this!! And it would fucking suck if you had like, neutral or even negative feelings about Miguel. Shit, I've thought of, imagine being his FWB that he's actually catching feelings for but then the Miles Morales Incident happens and, you're just kind of disgusted how he acted, how he spoke to Miles, how he treated Gwen, but before you can officially tell him "hey, I want nothing to do with you anymore", that's when Miguel comes to you wanting to get more serious and he uh, does not accept you wanting to move on

I guess detouring into a different idea but imagine being kind of a FWB or fling of his that you kind of moved on from him from for whatever reason (he can have a temper, he can be too intense, you don't like when he did xyz, or maybe you're a free spirit and don't want to get serious and break things off when you feel he's too clingy) and he like. Cannot accept you've moved on. He's cockblocking you at the Spider Society bars n clubs and little holes in the wall where the adults go to drink and get together. By reputation alone, people know to avoid tou because Miguel wants you back, everyone still sees you as His Girl, like he's claimed you, but he still catches people dumb enough to get close to you (and I imagine his surveillance slips or he gets busy and you have a casual fuck under his radar and he sees hickeys or something on you later and goes ballistic)

But yeah gosh imagine like, he tells you up front you two are canon and not even 24 hours later you can notice the atmosphere has changed in the Spider Society with how people treat you in terms of respect, personal space, not being too touchy or overly familiar, but, most importantly, you just feel. Awkward. It's like everyone knows. Did they all know before you did, or did Miguel quickly spread the news around? You're not sure which of those is worse. He's wanting to get you know you more intimately, he wants to try and take you on dates, but, he sucks at it, he's been out of the game way too long and he's a stressed temperamental half-spider workaholic, so, his dates amount to, him just trying to spend time with you in different ways while trying to make awkward small talk. He takes you to dinner. He sees if there are any movies or entertainment you wanna see in the Spider Society, making awkward attempts to try and hold your hand

But also. Imagine. A version of Miguel that wants to move much faster than that. I mean, you two are going to be canon, so, you might as well get acclimated to him right away, right? He wants you to immediately spend more time with him, he starts controlling where you are and what you do so he can be spending time with you or connected to you in some way, you're living with him in his own residence now, he INSISTS you sleep in the same bed like a married couple, and while he may not immediately demand you do what married couples do, he makes it clear that he wants to eventually. God, you can barely even relax knowing he's in bed with you and he still forcibly cuddles you, getting used to feeling his body against your own (and what if he slept in the nude 😳 he provides you pj's but they're kind of small and thin and he keeps the room cold on purpose so you have to seek his warmth under the covers)

Miguel is like an established adult in his 30s or something all "we'll get to know each other and then we can start planning our wedding. We'll have dinner dates at least once a week and we'll have joint bank accounts--" meanwhile you're just sitting over here like " um 🥺 I um 🥺 have never really even dated anyone before 🥺" and suddenly this 6 ft 9 man is looking down at you realizing there's a lil bit of an age gap and definitely an experience gap and he gets to have all of your "firsts" and he's Just So Weird About It in like, kinda a fetish way. He gets to have your first kiss, your first time (maybe he even wants to wait until marriage), he gets to teach you things, like, lowkey it's kinda like a mentorship as well as a relationship, he's your teacher, your protector, your husband, your jailor

Like imagine you finally have your first baby and you're freaking out and you're so scared and worried about doing everything absolutely perfect and he's just like, so happy but also kind of romanticizing/fetishizing you being a new/first-time mom, he thinks you're so cute, so eager to do good and learn how to do the best for your baby. He teaches you all kinds of things about childcare and being pregnant since, he's already cared for his fiance before his canon event, he remembers all the things he learned to become a dad, all the things he picked up during the second go around, and now everything new he's learned just for you. I mean really if we follow the combo comic/movie canon, you're the first time he's getting a BABY baby and getting to raise it and do everything from the start, and it's his CANON baby so he knows you're both safe.

I just feel like between his literal list of trauma (beaten by abusive father who also abused his mom, he was betrayed and drugged with a highly addictive and agonizing substance to basically be enslaved, he was sabotaged and atomically spliced with a spider while trying to cure said addiction, his pregnant fiance died, his second family died as well as an entire universe) and him not really even having much of an OPTION with breaking canon at risk (which would have such a domino effect because it happening in his Nueva York would dismantle THE ENTIRE SPIDER SOCIETY, so, this is like, QUARDUPLE RISK) he would just. Like damn you don't even need to have yandere stuff in there, he HAS to make you stay with him? Obviously he eventually has no problem with it and fully enjoys the excuse if he wasn't crazy about you on sight, but like. LMAO you're just hanging around HQ with big sad eyes and people are whispering "who's that over there that Miguel is hovering over" "oh that's Miguel's wife. she's scared of him and he's way too intense" "well why doesnt she just leave him" "can't, they're canon, and even if they werent, i dont think he'd allow it. Shit just the other day she wanted to leave HQ to swing through the city and she didn't get his permission first and Miguel activated the Morales Protocol and sent us all chasing after her" "like ALL all?" "Oh yeah it was totally an 'all available units' situation, and once she saw she was being chased she started freaking out and panicking and tried to run, which pissed him off even more, and is why she's got a babysitter now" "oh wow, that's rough... so anyways do you know what they're serving in the cafeteria today?"

#miguel o'hara x reader #yandere miguel o'hara #yandere spiderverse #yandere stuff #sinprompts #woe! my constant barrage of long cringe posts be upon ye

[sadclowncentral]

Sorry if this is a weird question, and if that's the case you can absolutely not answer, but how do you cope with having multiple full-time jobs and still having energy outside of work? Feels a bit like I'm dying of exhaustion every day over here lol

I've been ruminating for a few days on this ask because truly I struggle with this more than I want to admit. My jobs rarely leave me with energy outside of work, and I have gone through times in the last two years where working and sleeping were the only possibilities, and it sucks, and it is kind of embarrassing, but I have also found some ways to mitigate it even slightly which I am more than happy to share:

1. Schedule fun times (yikes)

It was a harrowing realization that I need to schedule hang outs and self care just like every meeting - weeks in advance, colour coded in both the calendar and the to do list - but since I started doing it, my success rate has skyrocketed. You either die a type b or live long enough to become a type a i guess

2. Bring your fun to work day

I will suggest anything that's fun to me as a work activity. I like drawing so you KNOW the ministry is littered with illustrations. My PowerPoints create envy across departments. I scout the world of my office for ways to have fun and I am not embarrassed to say so. I'm funmaxxing the grind. So what

3. Everyone is depressed bitch

Acknowledge that everyone your age is looking at their fifty-year olds in their work life with white-hot envy (WHEN THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TIME TO GARDEN) and that the loss of agency that comes with starting your career is normal and sad, but also means that...

4. Let's get some fruit

...you gotta stop thinking in old time frames of friendship expectations. people you haven't talked to for eight months will not be mad about your absence as they are stressed and hobbyless as well and will instead REJOICE at a scheduled hangout. I have friends I see once a year we love each other. no one is mad and everyone is stressed tf out LET'S HANG

5. Win the war not the fight

hey. listen to me. this isn't easy. it sucks coming home and feeling like having no agency left. and it's hard to break that cycle of exhaustion, and I fail all the time, when is the last time i saw the sun, oh god oh no my twenties. and if you feel like that is necessary in the time you are in, that is respectable. don't be mean to yourself for being stuck in a system that tries to squeeze all the energy out of you like a grape of some sort. you just gotta make sure you don't FORGET that you are a fully formed person with hobbies in another life. buy that plane model kit. bookmark that recipe. join that knitting group. i know you dont have time and energy. but your future self will thank you for paving the way.

I hope these are helpful. don't forget to have fun and be yourself. godspeed

#sent to you while building my beautiful model plane my friend bought for me because i couldnt find the energy to #this is a GROUP EFFORT

[kidspawn]

And Now, A Comprehensive Essay I Never Thought I'd Write:

I've seen people upset with Gabe's character in the show thus far. Saying he's too toned down, too "pathetic white trash" as opposed to abusive jerkass. I do understand why people are mad, but a few words in defense of this portrayal - and why it still works.

One: "He's too nice/soft/passive"

Um... absolutely not? This dude had me cringing and tensing up as soon as we meet him. Percy tenses and goes on the defensive, starts shooting comebacks. Gabe, seeing a tense and emotionally drained child, immediately comes at him, berating him for misbehaving.

He snaps at Sally, basically loses his shit at the idea of her leaving the apartment. She has to negotiate with him to leave her own apartment? To use the car? I don't care if she's "standing her ground" more. (Which, she isn't, but that's a whole other topic.) He's still being a douche.

There are aspects of Gabe's book characterization that are lost in media translation. For instance, Percy giving him money. "Whenever I was home, he expected me to provide his gambling funds. He called that our 'guy secret.' Meaning, if I told my mom, he would punch my lights out" (The Lightning Thief, pg. 31) This is Percy's internal monologue. When Percy enters their apartment in the book, Gabe is just a dick. Yes, he's not pestering Percy for money but he's doing everything else. I wouldn't be surprised if this information about Gabe comes to light the further into the story we go. Rick Riordan isn't trying to erase the abuse, but drawing attention to the intricacies and subtleties of abuse.

Two: "Sally is too assertive/fights back/etc"

Please, kindly, screw off with that "perfect victim" line of thinking. Just because Percy and Sally aren't crying, sobbing, etc, doesn't mean they're not being abused? First of all, that would be out of character. No doubt about that.

The only thing different between the scene in the book versus the show is how Sally manipulates/negotiates with Gabe. She has a different tone here, sure, but let's face it - Sally doesn't particularly like Gabe. He is a means to an end. She doesn't care too much about hurting his feelings here. She's placating. She's leveraging what little she has to get something from him. In the books, it was bean dip. In the show, its sandwiches and watching a game together. Sally doesn't care for Gabe, but Gabe obviously has interest in Sally, or spending time with her. She's leveraging her time and her resources to get her kid to Camp Half-Blood. She knows what's going to work because she's been dealing with this for so long.

And don't pretend like Gabe using the word "please" is changing the horrid tone he uses with Sally. Neither Percy or Sally flinch when he yells. This isn't a rare occurrence. Gabe probably yells all the time. But it's been happening long enough they're both desensitized to it.

These aspects aren't that different from the book.

Yes, the abuse is subtle, a few tweaks to appease an admittedly young target audience. But it is there. It's solely disappointing to me that subtext has seemingly been lost.

Three: "He's just average white trash."

Is that not... the point? He's... just a basic mortal? He's so abysmally human, so utterly mundane that he masks Percy's smell. He's crummy, and slimy, and awful. He doesn't strive for more, he doesn't aspire for more. He's a bully. He's awful to Percy, he yells at Sally. The only thing different about him in the show so far is he hasn't hit Sally yet.

(Yet. By the way. There's only two episodes out. We find out he's hitting Sally at the end of the source material. He never hits Percy onscreen, it's stated in internal monologue.)

Details will be lost in translation, of course, but please I cannot stress enough how little of the show we've seen. We don't know how they're going to explore Percy's characterization and reaction to abuse. There will be flashbacks, opportunities to flesh out the relationships and characters. Just because Rick changed aspects to keep people from being triggered doesn't mean he's going to let audiences go on believing this kind of behavior is ok. (At least, I hope he doesn't.)

Gabe Ugliano is still a piece of garbage. He is a horrendous human being. It's baffling to me that no one's believing that based on what we've seen of him. Not once did I think he was "toned down." I had a hard time rewatching that scene. The verbal belittlement, the subtle manipulation and control he's asserting into their lives. He's awful to Percy, he's awful to Sally.

Also, I reiterate: there are only two episodes out. Give the story time to breathe. Give the team time to deal with this storyline and flesh out this aspect of Sally and Percy's relationship.

#percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians (2023) #gabe ugliano #sally jackson #pjo tv #pjo tv spoilers

[ghouljams]

Doitdoitsoitdoitdoit especially if we're talking a trauma heeling fic the way you know him has me addicted. Nature him in the nastiest of ways. For the good of us all.

Simon "Ghost" Riley, yeah I know him.

I think being in the 141 as an omega is a new thing for him, he's always been in the military while he was flipped alpha(which is important to remember for later) so he's never had to deal with omega shit while deployed. Officially he's designated as an alpha, he's an omega that flies under the radar because as far as society is modernized people always hold onto old notions about the way endotypes look/act. Ghost doesn't look like an omega, and he's not one to let anyone close enough to smell that he's an omega. I think a lot of his hormone issues are related to stress directly, his body flipping to something reactive(alpha) when put under duress. The 141 is an incredibly stable pack and environment under Price, less stress means no flip-flopping. So the 141 is the longest he's ever gone with what I(and Ghost lowkey) would consider his true endotype: omega.

It's hell when his first "military" heat hits. He's belligerent and itching for a fight, everyone looks at him wrong, he has no nesting materials, he ends up shoved in a corner of Price's office shaking from stress because he just can't deal with it all. He needs somewhere small and safe. Price is safe, Ghost can fit that into his world when the heat hormones take over, Price is the head of their little pack, Price is safe.

Price is also fuming mad, not at Ghost, but at whatever Muppet took down his endotype wrong. There are allowances made for omegas, time off for heats, extra bedding, suppressants if they want them. Soap wanders into the office and nearly has a panic attack himself because his instincts are screaming that someone in his pack is in trouble and he isn't helping them. Ghost punches him in the mouth for attempting to corral him to the barracks when it's safe in Price's office. Gaz gets called in to take him to medical and shoots Price a look that says they'll talk about this later.

This is where I start to diverge from established omegaverse Canon and say I don't think that Ghost as an omega is interested in receiving penetrative sex. He's an incredibly dominant omega in that sense, but also not? I am cooking a little alpha!reader/omega!Ghost fic in my brain rn(Goose fic u already know). I think it's a need for control on Ghost's part, lingering alpha instincts to micromanage things, a need to know exactly what is happening even through his heat. He doesn't like being touched on a good day, why would he like it when he's at his worst?

I also think that among the various tortures the Roba would have put Ghost through humiliation would have been a big one. Tearing him down so Roba can build him back and brainwash him. What's more humiliating to an alpha than being penetrated? Especially when Ghost already has the stress of his father's prejudice in his head, the experience would have been that much worse. Yeah I don't think he wants to get fucked, even in his heats. Which is fine, he doesn't need to in order to satisfy the itch under his skin there's plenty of other ways to get the energy out. (I don't think SA is mentioned in the comics explicitly, but also if you're going to hang someone by their ribs why would you draw the line at rape? I think Ghost was tortured every way Roba could think of)

My ideas for omegaverse don't have alphas wanting to jump every omega in heat, they do want to jump their partners to a certain extent, but I think for most of them it's just a very strong desire to take care of the omega. Like if you saw someone having a panic attack in the grocery store, you'd probably want to help them and be a little anxious yourself. It's like that but cranked up to 11. Price and Soap get all out of sorts about Ghost being a freak because he will not let them fulfill their instinct to get him blankets and food. Gaz just gets what's needed without asking lol he's not fighting with Ghost on this and someone has to keep this place running.

After that first heat though I think the 141 sort of... quietly acknowledges that Ghost is an omega. Gaz and Soap slink to him with their problems and somehow they feel better when he bluntly tells them what to do about whatever emotional bullshit they're dealing with. Price brings Ghost in on more meetings with recruits because somehow having both of them in the room puts people more at ease than one or the other. Soap naps on Ghost on the couch. Gaz passed off a tee-shirt for Ghost to add to the nest he's growing in his room. No one says anything but it's there. He's given the room to be himself without judgement of prejudice and I think he takes to it like a fish to water.

Ghost to me very much embodies a slow healing process. His room at the barracks goes from spartan essentials to warm and well nested, he gets more comfortable with managing the pack, falls asleep on Price at one point and Price just lights up(happy omega, feels safe enough to be vulnerable around him, he's taking care of things right, good job, good boy Price).

I do think this au works best within the cowboy or fae universe, so I'll say that I think Ghost is on his starting to get a handle on being an omega when he retires and moves to the farm, but he has a minor panic about potentially flipping again. He hasn't had a type change in years, but he never knows. (he doesn't flip, but he worries about it for months after he moves to the farm)

#ghoul speaks #simon ghost riley #a/b/o #tw torture #tw rape #mentions of it at least #I won't be writing any noncon for this au since I don't see a reason for it #at least in my version of omegaverse #wow this got long and I wrote most of it at 2 am #so let me know if it's completely unintelligible

[bokettochild]

If Legend were to lose his memory, what would happen?

Oh boy!

(Warning, I got really into this! It's not a fic, but it might as well be LOL)

Full personality reset!

Legend is a hero who started young, and while there's not a lot in the games to go off of, the manga, official art, and some circumstances indicate that prior to LA he was actually a really sweet, caring, openly positive sort of guy with a big heart. Granted, he was still a smart-aleck if you read the manga, and got sassy and snarky at times, but he was generally someone I think most people would enjoy being around. But then LA happened, and then ALBW, and maybe a few more adventures (someone converted me to add Cadence of Hyrule to the roster but I don't know where). Suddenly, he's not only going through puberty, but he's dealing with world ending threats left, right, and forward. He can't catch a break, he's under a lot of stress, and the people he should be able to rely on either betray him or disappear.

Cue the salty vet we know. He's wary and guarded. He's still got a big heart and a great sense of humor, but now he's not ready to share those as much. He cares enough to protect the other heroes from injury or from Time's harsh words, but he's not ready to lower his guard enough to relax and be who he was. There's too much distrust, too much certainty that they'll be like all the other people he counted on and either disappear or betray him, or just not understand. Sure, they're heroes, but at most, any of them has only ever had two adventures. They don't get what it's like spending your whole life running around the world saving people and fighting monsters, to the point where you don't have time for family, for growing up properly, for establishing connections or support systems or any of the important things that the other heroes DO have time for.

Legend, as he is, is a wary and guarded individual who shields himself by using snark and jokes to divert attention away from his weaknesses and insecurities. Why? Because his past taught him to be like that.

What if you take away the memories of his past though? What if, suddenly, Legend has no recollection of the betrayals of Hyrule's Knights? Of the person he thought was a friend but tried to kill him once she knew what his bloodline was (Ghanti)? Suddenly, he only knows he's got scars and is in a lot of pain all of the time. He doesn't know why, but he has no reason to doubt that the people around him, who are like him (more Hylians! They've almost died out in his time, but here they are!) are telling the truth when they desperately insist that he's their companion.

Granted, he's still Legend, he's still got anxiety and that Bunny Spirit likely means he's wary by nature of things/people he doesn't know, but once he's given good reason, why shouldn't he accept these people? Why shouldn't he openly show emotion and care and warmth?

Meanwhile for the other heroes, it's whiplash. Legend got the worst side of a battle/dungeon/accident and they were all worried and waiting for him to wake up, but when he does? Blank. He has no clue who they are, where he is, who he is, or what's going on. Horror quickly overtakes them as they realize that holy shoot, did he lose his memories too?

I think in such a situation, Wild would be the one to basically take one look at another amnesiac hero and decide he's going to help out the best he can because, for once in Legend's life, someone knows exactly what he's going through. So what if Legend's suddenly more open and understanding? So what if he laughs off his lack of memories like a bad joke, assuring them that he's sure they'll come back? So what if suddenly Legend is teasing and playing around like someone his age would normally do? He's affectionate and warm and encourages the others, but his self esteem is utter and complete shit, which...their vet has his pride? This kid has some, but not in himself so much as that he has enough to not appreciate being made the butt of every joke or some such.

Memory loss doesn't tend to hamper a persons ability to accomplish tasks or know core information (history facts, how to write/read, stuff like that) so Legend still can wield a sword and fight beside them, but he's not fighting like normal because he's not adapting around their needs anymore, so it still throws them off. He doesn't cover their tails so much as dance around the enemy instead and kick ass. It's new, it's different, and this version of Legend no longer understands that it's important for him to hold back. (And once he realizes the armory he has at his fingertips, all his items, well!)

In general though, it's probably shocking for them. He's an expressive kid, he's got a big heart, he loves to laugh but sometimes he shuts down because the anxiety is winning and he no longer knows how to cope with that. It's Legend, yes, but it's Legend with all the shields and guards lowered, almost gone. He's instinctively scared of things that normal Legend is, but he doesn't know why, or that he's supposed to hide it. He can't tell them why the storms make him hyperventilate or why Wolfie's presence sets him ill at ease, only that it does and that hey, if I pass out, don't freak out okay?

He's openly affectionate, he's attentive and caring, he's warm and playful. He still snarks at those in authority and he still teases and jokes, but it's without that harsh bite from before. It's a strange thing for the heroes because as sweet as this kid is, they're being torn by two emotions.

It's sort of heartbreaking that behind all that hurt and wariness, there was this sweet kid. Seeing Legend like this makes them realize that he's essentially had his life stolen by adventuring and it's hurt him a lot, turned him into a different person. The contrast makes them realize just how much the adventures affected the vet and how little they really understand who he was before and how he was affected.

They miss him. Like, yeah, this version of him is great and all, but they've become used to having someone in their group who will bite and snap and hiss, and without that, it throws off their whole balance! Legend used to say what everyone else was thinking but had the good manners to not say, he was the conduit of their darker thoughts and feelings, and if he expressed things, then no one else needed to. Now he's not doing that so they ARE and the realization that maybe they're all a bit more jaded then they let on, maybe the soft is a little harsher, makes them all uncomfortable.

They want their guarded, harsh, veteran hero back, but the cost is losing the sweet teenager whose taken his place.

And I know you asked about Legend but hey, this would 100% set off some stuff for Wild too, because now he knows. He gets to witness firsthand how other people are affected when a loved one loses their memories and becomes a different person. I think for him it would shed some light on a lot of things, that maybe being without some memories is a blessing; it might mean he's a happier and kinder person than he used to be. But at the same time, the fact that the other heroes, and even himself when he's not thinking about it, still expect the body and face they recognize to act in certain ways, so when Legend doesn't, they get thrown off and confused, I think that would bother him. He tries really hard, but when he realizes that the others want back the traumatized and utterly broken version of his friend, it hurts part of him too because not only does this mean they want an unhappy Legend more (in his mind), it also means that people don't want the version of him that he is now either, because they probably want the old him back too.

I think Wild would be highly defensive over the vet, would be shattered at the others wanting Legend to turn back to normal because what's wrong with how he is now? Why does he have to be someone different? It's a loaded question because he means it as much about himself as Legend.

If Legend went without getting most of his memories back, or even just started getting a few but, like Wild, disassociating them from himself, or even if he got them back slowly and thus just processed them as they came, learning things but not changing back into who he was, I feel like it could mess with things. Wild is supportive and helpful. He sits with him and talks him through stuff, they discuss memories and coping mechanisms and Wild, a person who knows who Legend was before, is there to assure and give answers where he can. In such a case, I think Legend would slowly regain things, but like Wild, wouldn't become who he used to be just because he's got the memories back. He's more sedate than when he didn't have them, but he's not as harsh as when he had them all. He's quieter, deals with a lot of insecurities about it, but Wild is there to assure and help him grow and overcome and move past and he just...becomes a different person entirely. Because yes, same traumas and memories, but now it's like they're happening again for the first time, only he has support now, he has help now, he has a coping mechanism and ways to process it in healthy ways now and he just...grows around those scars.

Alternatively, if he did somehow recover all his memories, just like that, and went back to being his old self, I think we'd just have a Legend with a new story under his belt. Wild though? Wild would be utterly devastated. Everyone is so happy to have the old Legend back, they're glad he's not the version of himself without memories. They like him better like this, like how he's supposed to be. It's heart shattering for Wild becomes the implications that the people who know him feel the same way about him is heart-breaking.

As a note, I don't think the other heroes would be asses about the situation. They're just really glad their old friend is back because as nice as the other version of him is, it's not the version they know and share memories and experiences with. They would have accepted it if he'd never remembered, but the relief that comes with having him back to himself, having him predictable and familiar and balancing out their group and dynamics again, it's overwhelming because they missed him.

If he never recovered into who he was though, I feel like they'd still accept and embrace him. They mourn who he used to be, but this new version of Legend would understand. He'd feel bad that he's not who they remember, but he appreciates that they lost a friend and that they need the time. He's somewhat insecure, much like Wild, over not being who he was, but the Chain are all Links; they adapt, and eventually they grow around the loss and accept the new Legend like he's just joined them. I think he'd probably decide to use a different title, maybe call himself the Hero of Worlds since Legend was a different guy altogether, and it helps everyone move on better. The Hero of Legend is gone, and the Hero of Worlds just joined. It makes coping easier, growing around it easier, and it's better for World because they can talk about "Legend" all they like and it's like talking about a different guy entirely.

In the case of his memories coming slowly and him never coming back, I think they'd all learn to move on, adapt, and accept World in Legend's place.

In the case of Legend coming back fully though, I think the others would regard it as a crazy story to tell, while Wild would be utterly and completely shattered by it. He'd still accept Legend back of course, it's not Legend's fault, but he would struggle so, so much with the whole thing.

So yeah! That's what I think would happen!

#asks and answers #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu legend #lu wild #i swear this is basically a fic #but not #it was fun though! #i thought about savig it for a fic #but i decided it would be better to ust answer ad IF i decide to write a fic than it's great #but if not you still get your answer :)

[salemoleander]

I think what you osserved about Cleo and Lizzie is a result of many factors.

Gender is of course one and a major one at that but it cannot be the only one as both Pearl and Gem have much more fandom characterization. Pearls characterisation especially can be attribuited almost entirely to Double Life.

There is also the factor there are a lot less females then males in the mcyt scene and that has always been a problem. But this means that there will always be way more discussion over man because there are so much more.

We should also consider that Lizzie did have a lot of characterisation back in the Empires s1 days that has been swept under the rug as she became inactive for long periods of time, she had a characterisation but this characterisation didn't even apply to the life series because she was never in it like the others, she missed 3rd life, Double life and Limited life which definitely didn't do her any favours. Mumbos characterization on the other hand still existed because he was much more active and when he was in hiatus his fellow Hermits kept reminding us about him... But Lizzie kinda dips for a while and then comes back and is never really mentioned.

Cleo always had the problem of being simplified as either chaotic arsonist, doting mother figure or talented artigian with dark humor... It's been since the 2020 that I have seen people discussing about her characterisation being basically cut down to one of these 3 personality instead of actually giving her actual personality. This was because newbies at characterization back in season 6 usually put either her or Stress as the nurturing mom friend in fanfiction who then other newbies took as inspiration and it kinda stuck around in a loop.

In a way one would need to analyze this problem at the olden days of minecraft content but then we would be here for days.

Putting most of my response under a cut because it got LONG.

To start, I will point out that "this is the result of many factors" and "in a way you'd need to analyze the origins of this, but we don't have time for that" are extremely common & toothless reasons to derail talking about misogyny (or any other -ism).

I do not think you are intentionally replicating that, but anytime an immediate response is "well it's not really ____-ism, and it's so complicated we could never hope to unpack it," that maybe isn't a useful addition to the discussion.

"[Gender] cannot be the only [factor] as both Pearl and Gem have much more fandom characterization"

I agree that gender is not the only factor, but I think going "well SOME women aren't as affected by misogyny so clearly it can't just be misogyny" is inaccurate. Also, if you look at Pearl and Gem's characterization - Gem is pigeonholed to a very particular type of cutesy fighting-princess role, akin to many YA protagonists of late.

Pearl does have more complex characterization from specifically Double Life, but the majority of analysis & attention only started going to Pearl after she won. As DL was airing, much more attention was paid to Desert Duo Redux and Team Rancher and Impdubs etc. I also think the fandom has taken to holding up Pearl as a token and going 'but look, we can write women! Look how many emotions she has. She's sad and likes murder and dogs."

There is also the factor there are a lot less females then males in the mcyt scene and that has always been a problem. But this means that there will always be way more discussion over man because there are so much more.

I agree, it has been a problem forever (I've been watching MCYT since 2012. I watched Cleo & then False join HC. Believe Me, I Know.) But you'll notice my critique wasn't [All Life Series Dudes] are talked about more than [The Much Smaller Number of Life Series Women]. My critique in my post was 'if Lizzie's death happened to a man I would see more posts about that other hypothetical person" - comparing 1 person to 1 person.

We should also consider that Lizzie did have a lot of characterisation back in the Empires s1 days that has been swept under the rug as she became inactive for long periods of time, she had a characterisation but this characterisation didn't even apply to the life series because she was never in it like the others, she missed 3rd life, Double life and Limited life which definitely didn't do her any favours. Mumbos characterization on the other hand still existed because he was much more active and when he was in hiatus his fellow Hermits kept reminding us about him… But Lizzie kinda dips for a while and then comes back and is never really mentioned.

So this paragraph is definitely where you lost me. Your point seems to be 'Lizzie had characterization in S1 of Empires, and we're forced to borrow it because she's so inactive since then, there's nothing to pull from'. Allow me to share a screenshot of her series playlists here.

Let's leave aside the question of why people would pull from Empires S1 characterization when Last Life happened in the middle of it, and would evidently be a more logical place to pull from for Life Series characterization.

She had a whole Afterlife series, and she wasn't inactive after that! She had only 6 fewer episodes in S2 of Empires than in S1. It is patently ridiculous to claim that Lizzie is just so inactive and absent her Empires S1 characterization is necessary to fall back on, when Mumbo has better characterization despite vanishing for an entire calendar year to go biking. That is sexism.

Cleo always had the problem of being simplified as either chaotic arsonist, doting mother figure or talented artigian with dark humor… It's been since the 2020 that I have seen people discussing about her characterisation being basically cut down to one of these 3 personality instead of actually giving her actual personality. This was because newbies at characterization back in season 6 usually put either her or Stress as the nurturing mom friend in fanfiction who then other newbies took as inspiration and it kinda stuck around in a loop.

I'm glad you agree it's a problem! I can definitely see how that problem originated, but I've seen new fandom members for the Life Series - who don't watch HC or read HC fic- duplicate the same problems. I think at some point it's less a fandom-specific issue than a replication of the social division of women into Virgin, Whore, Bitch, or Mother categories, with no ability to imagine women complexly outside of those boxes or continuums.

This fandom seems to think moving the women in and out of the 'Bitch' box is the same as complex characterization*, and we've all just kind of gone 'okay' because the other option is nothing about any women at all. But we can and must do better, because I have to believe we're capable of writing and paying fandom attention to women as people.

*This is where DL Pearl generally falls to me, and why I am dubious of claims that she's well characterized. I think much of the fandom equates cruelty or sadness with good writing/interesting characters. But she's still fundamentally defined by the questions "How nice or mean are you? Are you in a relationship or alone?"

#salem tag #fandom criticism #life series #slsmp #secret life #lizzie #cleo #salem meta #I was trying to stay open minded by you absolutely lost me at the lizzie is inactive so we have to make her a sister bit

[david-talks-sw]

why do so many people hate on Mace Windu?

'Cause he's too much of a badass for them to handle! Jokes aside, this is a subject I came across a few times. If I had to guess why?

1. "Mace was a jerk to Anakin!"

A lot of people see Mace as "always being antagonistic towards Anakin". When - if you look at the facts - that's not really true.

In Episode I, sure, Mace initially votes to not let Anakin into the Jedi Order. But shortly after, when it's put to a vote a second time, Yoda is the only one still not wanting Anakin to join.

Implying... that Mace was cool with it!

Hell, there's even a non-canon comic that covered this, with Windu actually arguing letting Anakin into the Jedi Order against Yoda because he thinks Anakin will bring Balance to the Force.

In the comic, he also suggests giving Qui-Gon’s lightsaber to Anakin.

In Episode II, he's actually defending Anakin. He and the Council are confident in Anakin's ability to have his first solo mission, praising Anakin's skills and - in a deleted scene - even reminding Obi-Wan to have more faith in his Padawan.

Finally, in Episode III, at a first glance, it looks like Mace is indeed written in a way that makes him antagonistic to Anakin (the same Anakin who turns to the Dark Side in the same film, so maybe his instincts weren't so off after all...)

A lot of people say "he says he doesn't trust Anakin!" and I've already covered what that's really about here:

TLDR: he says he doesn't trust Anakin when he's 1) on a secret mission 2) with Palpatine. Which makes sense, because Anakin isn't exactly subtle and he has an emotional attachment toward Palpatine who everyone can see has Anakin wrapped around his finger.

Also, if you wanna count it... the novelization of Revenge of the Sith justifies this by the unbearable stress he is under.

A stress due to the Clone War and his whole Order being drafted into being warriors when they're supposed to be diplomats, thus causing hundred if not friends of his comrades to die (and don't even get me started on how hard the loss of clone lives must weigh on him).

Jedi of the Republic: Mace Windu writer Matt Owens seems to echo this sentiment:

"The Jedi are like atomic bombs: they have so much power, but they really don’t want to use it. Mace is a masterful warrior who doesn’t relish fighting. Such use of his power goes against his code, but if he doesn’t use it, what will become of the Republic? As a member of the Jedi Council, he is under pressure because he is a leader. He’s forced into an uncomfortable situation where he is doing something he doesn’t entirely agree with for what he believes is ultimately the greater good. But he has to be sure of himself because he has so many others looking to him for direction." - Matt Owens, Star Wars Insider Special Edition, 2021

So it's not personal toward Anakin at all, but Anakin's whining and making it all about himself certainly isn't relieving the stress.

But hey, let's suppose he is a dick to Anakin in Episode III (he's not, but let's go along with it).

That's still one movie out of three. So if there's a change in attitude toward Anakin from Attack of the Clones to Revenge of the Sith...

... what spurred it?

What event would make Mace go from telling Obi-Wan to have faith in Anakin to having him be adversarial toward him?

It would've been nice to see that in an episode from The Clone Wars, which partially exists to fill in the gaps between AOTC and ROTS.

I mean, was there a time where, for example, Anakin prioritized saving Ahsoka over a bunch of people in a building, leaving Mace to do it himself?

Still, we get moments between them, and they're not all negative:

They have fun banter, at times, right? But then we hear Dave Filoni say that Mace had an issue with Anakin from day one.

"You see, Mace Windu’s the guy that tells little Anakin ‘no, he will not be trained’. You cut to Anakin and he’s like, ‘What??’ There’s this look on Anakin’s face like, 'I’m gonna remember that, you’re a negative, why are you doing that?’ So you have to look at it, the Jedi are - though they mean really well for Anakin – they’re always telling him 'no’. They’re always saying 'no, you’ll be expelled, you’ll have to leave the Jedi Order’. [...] So when you get to that point-- all these things I’m talking about get you to that point where Palpatine’s on the ground and Mace Windu has a lightsaber at his throat and he’s saying “he’s the traitor”. So Anakin’s there and he’s choosing between the guy that’s always told him “no” - that, while he respects him and [Mace’s] not a mentor, but he’s a fellow Jedi - and the father figure [of Palpatine] who holds the key possibly to immortality and you saving this person you love in Padmé." - Dave Filoni, Rebel Force Radio, Star Wars Fan Days III, 2009

So... I honestly don't know who to listen to.

If we're meant to see Mace as "negative toward Anakin" then the episodes failed to convey that properly.

If we're not, then why is Dave Filoni saying the above?

Same thing goes for the recently-published novel Brotherhood, written by Mike Chen.

Like, I want to give the novel the benefit of the doubt and say "yeah, but we're only seeing Mace through Anakin's eyes, so of course the opinion is biased and exaggerated." But then I hear Mike Chen say stuff like this...

"And, like, [Anakin’s] constantly pulled in every direction and the finally, when you go from that to Revenge of the Sith where it’s like “hey, my wife is going to die unless I listen to my cool uncle, who has never been mean to me” and then you have Mace Windu who’s like “TAKE A SEAT, SKYWALKER!” y’know, it’s like who’re you gonna listen to? It really makes sense, it feels very organic, from that perspective." - Mike Chen, Beyond the Blast Doors, 2021

... and it's clear my arguing "unreliable narration" would just be me expressing a headcanon.

2. "Mace represents everything wrong with the Jedi"

Then, another argument I heard once is that he embodies everything wrong with the Jedi Order. As said in this comment here:

Wow, that's a whole bunch of hate hurled in Mace's direction.

Also inaccurate.

The fact is, Mace is - like most Jedi - a space shaolin/buddhist monk. He's incredibly wise and spiritual as heck. But when it comes to it, he's a no-bullshit kind of guy, especially when considering the Jedi being forced into a war.

As Samuel L. Jackson put its:

"Mace is a voice of reason. He thinks before he speaks. He's pretty calculating, mostly even-tempered, and he's not to be trifled with. He knows that the war is coming and he has a pretty good idea who is behind it. [...] Mace Windu has known Obi-Wan Kenobi for a very long time. Mace was a contemporary of Qui-Gon Jinn. He understood his faults and admired his qualities and can see that Obi-Wan has taken on some of Qui-Gon's strongheadedness by wanting to train Anakin Skywalker." - Samuel L. Jackson, as reported in Star Wars Insider: The Skywalker Saga Collector’s Edition, 2021

That doesn't mean Mace isn't compassionate or empathetic. On the contrary:

Here’s Mace taking down a criminal who was using child soldiers.

See that teenager who shoots at him in the final panels? At the end of the comic, he tries to have her freed.

Then, here’s Mace going out of his way to save a Twi'lek girl.

And this post, right here, lists a ton of examples of Mace putting others before himself in The Clone Wars.

Oh, you wanna go Legends? Let's go Legends.

Here’s Mace before and after saving an old lady from thugs.

Here’s Mace being kind to a starving Sith worshipper who tried to start a mob to kill them, choosing talk and mercy over violence.

Here's Mace praising Anakin!

One time, Obi-Wan almost died on a mission. Mace stayed by Anakin's side the whole time Obi-Wan was undergoing surgery.

Here’s Mace calmly agreeing to disagree with a Jedi who thinks the Order shouldn’t have joined the Clone War.

Hell, here’s Mace being nice to animals.

Mace Windu embodies everything right about the Jedi Order.

3. Misc "arguments"...

A number of silly, small things I hear sometimes:

"Oh he called her 'citizen' what an asshole!" He refers to her the same way she referred to herself. Ahsoka's been gone for months she doesn't have context and letting her into the fold in that particular instant would spell disaster. It's not personal, Mace even gives her a respectful nod before the call ends.

Then there's:

"Mace never apologized for the way the Council treated Ahsoka!" Because Plo Koon apologized on behalf of the whole Council.

“You have OUR most humble Ahsoka.” Plural. He’s speaking for all of them, nobody contradicts him, thus showing they agree. It’s a 22-minute TCW episode, they’re not gonna have each Council member apologize individually. It’s common sense. I'd also hazard that the "this was your real trial" line lingered from the first draft of the script as originally, Ahsoka didn't leave the Order at the end of "The Wrong Jedi" and prolly got promoted to Jedi Knight.

Also:

"Mace Windu once believed himself to be the Chosen One, he was jealous of Anakin!"

Uh... I'm just gonna post this one again...

Then there's this one I read which just made me cringe:

*sigh*

Yeah that TOTALLY sounds like something Mace “You Can’t Kill The Zillo Beast 'Cause It’s An Innocent Living Creature” Windu would do.

Intentionally leading his Jedi brothers to slaughter is so typical Mace “Get The Men To Safety While I Risk My Life For Them” Windu behavior.

So, why do some fans not like him?

I honestly dunno.

The only other reason I can think of (like the other Jedi, he's not as flawed as Anakin, some see him and the Jedi as holier than thou, he's nothing like Luke Skywalker) is explored more in detail here:

#Mace Windu #Samuel L. Jackson #In Defense of the Jedi #Jedi Order #Jedi Positivity #jedi order #meta #anakin skywalker #star wars #Master Windu #long post #this one was a long time coming!

[hetalia-club]

I'm not normally one to rant or anything but here goes.

I hesitate to tag this. but I feel it needs to be said, in fact I feel it HAS to be said or I think this fandom is just going to be done for within the next 5 or so years. People need to read this and understand what is happening within the fandom and not continue this behavior or turn a blind eye to it.

This fandom has a SERIOUS problem. I don't say that lightly either. I feel like 99% of this fandom are sweet and caring people. but we have that 1%.

This 1% is killing the community in this fandom. How is it okay to message someone, demand they make a statement on THEIR blog and when they say they don't want to talk about it you then tell them you wish they would die a horrible death?

TW for suicide and SA! (you have been warned) Long rant below. (preempted note to let everyone know that I am fine, I am not posting this for people to feel bad for me. I am using my own experiences as examples, but this is not a 'me' issue this is a fandom issue)

Why is that so normalized here? The vague blogging and the call to arms people in this fandom do is actually disgusting. Picking one person and just beating them down until they eventually leave the fandom and at the SAME people will be like. "Why is the Hetalia fandom so small?" Who wants to be in a fandom where making one statement that's not even bad could get you death threats?

I don't think the fandom realizes how hurtful what they say can be. Sure you might not have liked a post someone made because you disagreed. Well then scroll down, hit the block button and carry on with your life. Why do some of you feel it is acceptable behavior to make mass posts calling out someone or going into their inbox to tell them you wish they would kill themselves?

I say I don't like Spamano and people say they want me dead. I say I don't want to talk about IRL politics on my parody Hetalia blog and my life and entire country is threatened.

I say we shouldn't insert our ships into everyone's lives and let people ship what they want and not feel forced to appease you. and you guessed it people wish terrible things onto me and my body.

I feel the only way this behavior will change is if we start calling it out more. I know it will feel repetitive but I think ignoring it is only making it worse at this point.

I know a lot of people would read this and think "If you don't like it then leave the fandom" well YOU'RE the issue. This is not normal behavior. These are not actions of someone who is mentality well. Why should I leave a fandom I've been in for 10 years because some idiot cannot handle that I don't like shipping characters together? How is that impacting their life at all?

a few months ago I made a post and it was highjacked and someone totally just took it over and added their own thing onto it talking about SA. Totally out of left field not related to what I posted at all. I simply messaged them and asked them if they could please remove the comment as I am a survivor of SA and it don't think it was funny or appropriate to add onto my post and they just said. "No I can say anything I want to. I was talking about Hetalia so it's fine." like what do you mean no!? Who responds that way? What a normal considerate person would do is say "I'm sorry of course! I can just go make my own post." but no they just left it there. It's still there, won't say which post or who it was because it doesn't matter anymore.

But this is the kind of behavior I'm talking about. This weird entitlement of everyone being so defensive and angry all the time. Just wanting to pick a fight over nothing. You never know if simply saying something like (Example) "I don't really like Austria" Could land you 100 anons all saying they wanted you to off yourself. It's like a game of Russian roulette. It's a very stressful environment for a big creator to be in. All it really takes is the wrong person to see a post you made and disagreed with and all of a sudden they are making posts about you without mentioning your name but are CLEARLY about you saying "This person hates all Austrians, they are a neo-nazi and we should all block them and send them hate and also let's just reword what they said to make it sound 100x worse because people won't read the original post and they will just believe us." Who would want to be a creator in an environment like that?

would you believe me if I told you I still to this day am getting someone in my inbox calling for my r*pe because of the stupid fucking beauty pageant poll I did? Is that not insanity? Who is that person? Wtf is their life? I personally could not imagine sending hate to anyone for any reason, and if I did it would be off of anon and I would say it with my chest. Because in order for someone to push it that far they would have to saying some absolutely terrible stuff to make me take time from my day and life to give them negative energy.

The fandom is shrinking because of the 1% driving them away. They come after artists who draw a character in a way they don't like. They come after writers for depicting a character in a way they disagree with. They go after shippers for portraying their ship 'wrong'. They will comment on people's fun little head canons and just leave the rudest most unnecessary comments thinks like "He wouldn't do that" like okay?? Thanks for your insert betty sue. And it's always when you were never trying to set someone off is when they lose their minds. They do not understand even if a blog is big and has a lot of followers it is still THAT creators blog. they are a person not an identity who just churns out content for just you and they have to say and do whatever you want.

Another thing the 1% like to do on here is they will wait for you to say something and then they will jump to attack a person who does the thing you said you dislike and they will tell that person "blog name XYZ said you are a horrible person and I agree kill yourself" That one is a near direct quote I got not too long ago. I got several like that and actually had to message said creator and say "Why are you mad at me?" and they were completely confused, had no idea how they decided to attack me because of what they said. When I tell you that the 1% are sitting there frothing at the mouth wanting to send hate and death threats I mean that 100%

It's not JUST me either. All creators in the Hetalia fandom I'm sure could tell you about upsetting hate they received and had no idea what they even did or said wrong. I have spoken to former Hetalia blogs ones who I used to call my pals before I went on my hiatus and came back. They all said they left not because they started hating Hetalia but they left for their mental health because the 1% got too bold and unchecked. This was never an issue before quarantine. I know it brought a lot of new fans and that's great! But I also feel along with bringing in some wonderful people it brought in some really dark minded people as well. Saying "Just disable anons and move on" is also not a solution. these people are still here and if they're not bothering me or you they are tormenting someone else because that's what these people do. That 'someone else' may only need the tiniest nudge at the edge and they may just actually hurt themselves. You don't know people. You don't know what everyone is going through. You don't know what someone's life is like outside of here.

PLEASE Please! stop telling people to kill themselves. Stop telling people to go get R**ed in a gutter. Get some help talk to a therapist, a friend, a trusted teacher, a life coach, your parents, your sibling. anyone! And if you don't have anyone in your life you can talk to you can message me and we can talk about what you're going through. I'm sure any other Hetalian on here would say the same thing. Bloggers are real people.

International suicide hotlines

Website to help you find a therapist in your own country and in your price range

I know I will more than likely get hate for posting this. Which is upsetting to just know is going to happen but someone needs to say this because it's getting kind of out of control these last couple months I feel.

if you read this through reblog it, spread it around let the people who NEED to see it see it.

#hetalia #this needs to be said #if you are offended here just know YOU are the problem #stop sending threats to people #stop attacking creators

[isa-ghost]

ok

*insert coin*

Can I ask for q!Phil hcs BUT when he's fully un Bird mode :D

Jokes on you that's easy, those are just more plain qPhil hcs for me >:D

qPhil headcanons masterlist

Sometimes if he's in a fight that he's not taking seriously he'll put some goofy ass music on in his headphones. Some favorites include the Mario invincibility star theme, Waltz of the Meatball Man, and the kind of bubbly anime ending music that plays over an emotionally devastating scene

After way too much stress, once he gets Chayanne & Tallulah to bed and is on his own he'll go somewhere and just. Scream. For as long as it takes. And then he chugs tea or noodle broth to prevent his throat from dying on him.

Sleep schedules his beloathed <- wants to spend more time with a bunch of islanders he doesn't get to see often

Out of the 3 polycule members, Fit is best at cheering him up. He knows Phil best and the extent to which he lacks a filter sometimes is too powerful for Phil not to at least smile at

His wheeze laugh is the best thing ever to the the kids. If the two of them can make him wheeze, they know they've done their job right.

As soon as he knows something is safe (the maze, an event site like the code builds, that new mountain at old Spawn, etc) he's the first one to start exploring. He's been that way as long as he can remember ;)

*Slaps top of his head* This old man can fit so much survivor's guilt in him

He's only old in age and wisdom, if you try to imply he's geriatric he will get SO out of pocket about the things he's done with Fit & Etoiles and you will regret it

Okay so I've talked about how his worst fear is not having control, especially of himself. And I've talked about other fears of his, but I don't think I've mentioned his fear of loss yet. He tries to pretend he isn't, he'll insist he isn't, and to some degree he isn't Entirely wrong, but he is afraid. Being as old as he is means you get a bit desensitized to loss because it's natural when the things and people around you don't live for as long as you do. The part of it Phil fears, or maybe hates is a better word, is all the emotional turmoil after. That bone-deep ache of grief, the heaviness that refuses to leave his chest, how easy it is to emotionally compromise him, the hollowness that consumes him. The way he can't think or sleep properly, how his motivation is completely wiped out, how embarrassing it feels to not be at 100% in front of people. He HATES the aftermath of it all.

Excursions, Shuniji, and ofc Weirdest Year by C418 are Phil grief songs, in this essay I will

The Federation has learned that if they want Phil to attend an event he isn't particularly interested in, all they have to do is have really good food there, especially Latino food

He does legitimately gag a little when he kills a mob and flies or maggots come out of it. That's not just drama, he fr is like 🤢. It reminds him of the first time he saw Ender King's corpse

A fraction of the reason why he has people he trusts very deeply, like Fit, whitelisted on his security stuff is bc he knows if he ever got too depressed (like when the kids were missing), he'd never leave the house and just bum around feeling awful despite being restless. Having them whitelisted means they can get in and force him to get some air and stop festering in his emotions.

See I could get into a whole analysis abt this but like. So many of my angst hcs for him are abt how he's kinda shit at taking care of himself, esp when the people he cares for the most are removed from the equation. But it's not that he's incapable of it, he's not a baby or something like that. It's another part of how he's so locked into being the caretaker, the protector, the Strong One, the wise one, etc etc etc that he Hates being in the reversed role. He's gone so long without it that now it's foreign and unpleasant to him. He feels weak & like a burden. But at the same time, going so long without being in the reversed role is unhealthy and he NEEDS to be the one taken care of or protected sometimes. Everyone does. It's a double-edged sword: be the caretaker, shoulder everything & suffer OR be the one taken care of, feel awful about it for one reason or another. He can't win. He hates the latter but he needs it occasionally just like anyone else. He prefers the former, but the toll it takes over time is extensive.

It's why he'll do little things in an attempt to remedy it. To avoid being full-on taken care of for once while also not Only doing the reverse. Watching the sunset with the kids, adventuring in new and exciting places, sparring with friends, etc. His escape is making vivid fond memories to look back on and smile about, even if they don't always fix his emotional state. At least he isn't fully neglecting himself.

#qsmp #qsmp philza #philza #q!philza #qphil headcanons

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

Miles Learns why Gwen left Earth 65: Preview

They weren't sure where they were exactly, coming here has been done out of desperation and trying to run away from the nightmare world of Earth 42. They all had agreed it has been a long day (while subtly looking at Miles who was by far in the worse shape,) and had divided themselves into smaller groups.

In all honesty? Now that he didn't need to be running away from somebody, Miles was starting to feel the weight of the day in his body, he isn't even sure how many hours it has been and the closest he had to rest was being knock out flat by his evil counterpart. So he had barely hear past the "Gwen, Hobie and Miles go out to look for a place to rest."

"Don't need to tell me twice." He thought, slowly walking around as he looked at the place.

It seemed like has been once an office building, Miles couldn't imagine what must had happened to left couches, desks and other materials intact on it's place to rot; but he also didn't have the energy care about it.

"Me and Gwendy could move some of these around to make sure we have room for everybody," Hobie mentioned while looking with mildly disgust to the light grey love seats that seemed to be part of some waiting area. Miles wondered if he had something against the furniture, or being in such corporate place was just disgusting for him.

Miles needed a second to realize he hasn't been included, "What about me?"

"You can sit this one out Miles, we will be fine." Gwen mentioned off-hand, lifting one of the couches.

Frowning, he said "I can help you know-"

"Mate," Hobie called up to him, with his calm demeanour contrasting Miles bubbling annoyance. "You look two seconds away from becoming Father Ted, you can lie down."

"Father Ted?" He repeated, the confusion reigning over any residual anger at the idea of being useless.

"He means dead, Miles." Gwen says looking at him, and while he still wasn't sure how to feel about her; Miles noticed the worry in her eyes. "You had gone through a lot today, let us to do this for you okay? Please."

His own lips turned into a fine line, knowing very well he couldn't deny her; not just because he didn't have the strength not to when he was looking at him with such concern; Miles was indeed beaten half to death.

So with a sigh, he went to the love seat, and lie on it. The material was stiff, and even after trying to dusted with his hand the smell made him feel these thing has been here for longer that he has been alive. Closing his eyes, he resolved to rest. Or the best he could considering the circumstances.

What he was going to do? Now he has his friends on his side, which was great, but he didn't want to measure his chances if they needed to fight the organization. Miles had managed to escape, but one thing was leaving on the dust a bunch of unorganized people who didn't even know what was going on; than having Miguel get his forces in order to crack him down.

What would the guy do if they break the canon? Gwen was sure this could be avoided somehow, yet this didn't take into account the other things that were suppose to happen, or how it could break the universe. Hobie was convinced this entire thing was ridiculous and Miguel has his head too far his own ass to see it; while Peter had tried to say there could had been a way to reason-

At least everyone shut him down on that one.

It would be an understatement to say he was stressed out, so despite how he felt like his body begging for rest, his mind refused to cooperate. Gwen and Hobie moving furniture around also didn't give him the silence he normally preferred for these moments; yet he wasn't going to say anything to them since he still didn't feel too happy about being the only one taking it easy. 

So he continue having his eyes closed, and to even his breathing in order to trick his mind into falling asleep.

Miles hasn't meant to overhear, but with super hearing and literally not much else going on in the room? Was impossible not to.

"So, everything back in order with your Pot and Pan?"

"How does anyone understood Hobie?" Miles half-wondered. He liked the guy, specially now that he was the only person Miles felt 100% could trust had his best interest at heart; but it didn't meant his slang was less confusing. Was this how his parents felt like?

"Yeah, we sort things out; I feel a bit silly dramatizing how my dad would react after coming back home." Gwen chuckled awkwardly, hearing it in her tone alongside the furniture being rearranged. The light taps of the wood and the leather barely working as background noise, much less to hide that whatever this was about, wasn't easy.

Miles imagined as such, since he remember Gwen saying how her dad thought he killed Peter the first time she came to his universe. What he didn't expect, was Hobie's next words.

"You are joking, right? That better be a joke. There was nothing dramatic about the way you reacted after what he did."

While still lying down, Miles frowned. What did happen? And why Hobie sounded so worked out all of the sudden? It couldn't had been that bad, right? Is her father after all.

"Don't. Trust me on that." Gwen had said those words not so long ago. Miles hasn't want to debate her, specially without knowing her dad personally; but he has wondered why she was so sure of that. Now even more.

 "It all worked out in the end Hobie, maybe if I had gotten home sooner-"

"No, we are not doing this Gwen." Miles was taken aback hearing Hobie not just saying her name (without nicknames or jokes,) but also that he could hear the bubbling anger in his voice. "What he did to you was inexcusable, end of the story; the only reason I didn't bash his head with my guitar was because you explicitly not to."

A tiny, little part of Miles's brain tried to remind him he wasn't part of this conversation and he shouldn't be eavesdropping (if it could count with him staying in the room and they both knowing about it.) Yet that small voice got shut down as he was starting to actually worry.

Despite their short time together; there hasn't been any moment where he has seen Hobie lost his composure, not even coming close to it really. So whatever happened must had been next level bad if the guy was talking as if he wanted to take down Gwen's father like that.

"He is my dad Hobie-"

"Oh yeah? Well he didn't seem to remember that when you begged him to understand after showing your secret identity," Hobie's voice was picking up in volume, as the rage and indignation in her name seemed to overflown his voice; the next piece of furniture falling a little bit too hard as well; at least they wouldn't need to pay for it.  "After saving multiple people in his face, he cornered you down, force you to reveal your identity; and after trying to explain what happened, what did he do? Ah right, try to fucking arrest you as if you were any other criminal, and try to point his gun at you-

Miles opened his eyes and sat down so quickly you would had believed the couch was burning his back, "WHAT!?" He screamed, appalled.

. . .

I'm struggling to write in general, I had more than this, but for now a little bit of a preview for hype. And because motivation is a bitch lol.

#ghostflower #gwiles #miles morales #gwen stacy #hobie brown #ghostflower fics #atsv #across the spiderverse

[mmurkoff]

Op i desperately need to know about your bolton oc(s) for they are beginning to haunt my waking dreams 🙏 i humbly ask for your intel 🙏

FIRST OFF … thank you so much for the interest ive been really rotating them in my brain lately so it means a lot to hear you like them (ʃƪ˘ﻬ˘)

i originally made them for funsies last year for a fic i didnt end up writing but i've gotten back into the swing of it so when i figure out how to put a story together i'll put it out there . for now... > here's a proper doodle of their fits i put together .

their names are ysabel and cayn bolton - their parents are maisie manderly and alaric bolton ( x ) . cayn is ~20 and ysabel is a few years younger but don't ask me about specifics because i ...... <3 haven't figured the timeline out yet .

ysabel is a severe case of troubled youth as a result of being raised in a household that centers its identity around the concept of flaying people . their dad is kind of balls off the wall nutso and insists very early on that both his kids have to uphold their family history and identity which leads to both of them being exposed to excessive violence before they really should have been and it definitely gets to her the most . at the core she's kind of squishy and more delicate than you'd imagine from the horrendous dead stare she has > growing up she definitely struggled more than cayn to deal with growing up in the environment she did > she has frequent delusions of what is basically a reanimated skin of a man that follows her around and gets in the way when she's especially stressed out . physical representation of the terror of her father's ambition and actions etc

she's kind of quiet and weird and doesn't have many friends aside from her brother but she IS very polite and well-mannered as is expected of a noble lady . very influenced by having a manderly mother in that she leans a little more into expectations of women as framed by the faith of the seven . likes poetry and embroidery and whatever else she's been told to like and is determined not to step outside her box of expectation . eventually spirals into further delusion of the religious kind when she gets to king's landing and things start to devolve politically > the spiral and downfall of what being a proper lady in medieval society means . her first encounter with aemond targaryen is in the king's landing gardens where she thinks he's about to attack her so she bites a chunk out of his neck so do with that as you will

cayn on the other hand is by all accounts outwardly pretty Normal . he's charming and an open book and very easy to get along with if you can disregard the ever lingering Blue Eyed Stare . being the oldest son just like ysabel he has a very specific set of expectations put on him but in a very different way . should uphold a clear image of being like his dad and learns to fight and hunt and rule but it all ends up being very fake . you look him in the eye while you chat about northern alliances and how to make sure this and that lord is satisfied and hes smiling but there is nothing behind those damn eyes .

definitely does not help that ... he IS a homosexual <3 both of them are meant to be people who put up very firm appearances of being well-adjusted, matching expectations essentially perfectly - only to have those expectations torn down entirely when they're strained enough . going to sound like a fucking insane thing to say but cayn to me is very medieval patrick bateman - in the sense that he's obsessed with appearances and what others think of him, but it's all just a means of covering up the fact that he is 2 seconds away from snapping and killing someone or himself at all times . i have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. something horrible is happening inside of me and i don't know why. my nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. i feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip etc, if you will .

the plot here is a little lost on me because i havent written it all out yet and i cant keep information in my mind for longer than a second but it's essentially dance of the dragons but if i took all the events and scrambled them around and made it completely different . ´･ᴗ･` more book-focused than show-focused at least in terms of the characterization of people like aemond and alicent (i like when they're a little meaner and more crude . my bad ...)

before the war begins - the greens plot away, realizing viserys is not going to name aegon heir even as his health worsens and tensions become more apparent at court. more political action is taken here with the starks declaring for rhaenyra in any matters of succession much earlier - working counter to this is a little already-formed cluster of northern houses that kind of band together under the boltons with the help of some marriage ties and general disagreements with the starks (ie ysabel + cayn's dad is married to a manderly, cayn eventually gets betrothed to a karstark before the starks can snap them up a generation later as they do in canon). with the north kind of silently divided the greens reach out with the intent to form an alliance there with the promise that the boltons will be given the spot as wardens of the north when the war eventually ends knowing full well when viserys kicks the bucket things are going to spiral without question . they accept and head down south - which obviously makes for even more tensions considering they're still stark bannermen . everyone is a little bit or more than a little bit mad at each other and viserys dies and things spiral as usual .

ysabel marries aemond to secure that northern alliance , goes to storms end and promises daeron + lands and wealth to make up for the fact he can't marry one of borros daughters himself, lucerys dies etc and well ........... i need to iron out some wrinkles . <3

as for their relationships obviously as mentioned ysabel marries aemond and its Weird . she really likes him but in a weird almost obsessive way . watches him from afar before they even get introduced officially and sits awake at night and stares at him and i think part of it is because she doesn't know how to approach . wants to be affectionate and loving but also wants things to be on her own terms while also knowing that the circumstances (WAR) doesn't allow for that to the extent she wants so she's at a loss at what to do . which manifests in Being strange . with both these relationships there's a touch of strange hunter prey dynamics and here its definitely more laid back than with cayn and aegon . you watch from afar but never strike . you learn someone's patterns and habits and the threat of having that used against you is always present but te tension only ever builds and never comes to a peak .

because ysabel is very tall and slender and kind of gangly she struggles a lot with pregnancy and when they eventually do have a child it's a girl . which she's intensely conflicted about . you have a child put in your arms and theres a moment of complete joy that turns just as quickly into horror because she believes so firmly that a son would have been what makes her husband and her family happier . sort of anne boelyn esque . she ends up with health issues and a line of lost pregnancies after that before having a son who is incredibly weak and sickly and doesn't make it into adulthood . horrorshow in the capital here

cayn and aegon ........... scratches my chin. on account of being gay in westeros it's obviously very different . aegon is married and cayn is betrothed and still i think cayn meets him and it's a case of well i will die before i give up being able to be with you . they're kind of similar on the surface in that they bond over sort of skipping out on court duties and prefer to spend time out in king's landing . a lot of watching aegon give out his attention to others freely and getting nothing in return (because shockingly you have to initiate sometimes instead of staring at someone you like longingly and looking like a creep) . again that sense of not knowing how to approach just like ysabel . a slow buildup of shared glances and mutual want that you both know will never be okay to anyone but the two of you . cayn wants to hunt and kill him and tear him apart and make out sloppy with him because it's all he can do to show that affection . violence in place of love in a society that would never accept your happiness .

when that hurdle of Figuring out they're both a little homo for each other is crossed they're definitely more direct than ysabel and aemond . very heavy handed physical affection moreso than verbal or emotional signs. rip at each others flesh but never express all the things you'd do for each other . share desperate fumbling kisses in some back alley but don't begin to think about what it might be like to run off and never be seen again or how differently youd be able to see each other if one of you happened to be a woman . i <3 medieval homosexuality !

THAT'S ABOUT ALL. sorry this was a whole load of nothing but i loved getting to ramble about them . final notes are some design pointers

the little eyes on the necklace ysabel wears + the eye on the armour design i did for cayn is meant to be similar to 18th century lover's eye jewelry! : -) essentially a form of affection in literally carrying a lover's gaze with you . i think it's very bolton esque

cayn has a little gold ring to tie back to aegon . and the earring is meant to look like a drop of blood

the armour is his dad's . he dies like halfway through the war and i think it's very telling to have the deeply imperfect son don his dad's fit after he dies . bad fathers who haunt their children etc

he does go off to fight in the war as well hence the scars and the hair . loses parts of his arm as well as parts of his face (lip + his eye is injured so he doesn't see very well) . unfortunately the rat tail had to go but it pains me as well

the white gown instead of black for mourning i think was mostly just for aesthetics (tough to fit with the dark background) but also has SOME intent behind it . atp ysabel ends up barely existing as a person properly as per what war does to someone especially when they're already struggling - it's meant to be a nightgown because she rarely gets dressed beyond that . white was also historically a mourning colour in specific countries in specific eras of history and i do really like that . gives sort of sad miserable ghost in the castle vibes idk

#aghh much longer than i meant it to be but this is the only place i have anything summarized for them so i guess its ok #thank u again for the interest <3 #oc tag #txt #asks #asoiaf #asoiaf oc