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#Which i need more of in ny life thank you
imagobin · 10 months
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⚪Johnathon Ohnn/The Spot Platonic HCs⚫
Been seeing so many awesome Spot HCs around lately, but not many which focus on a platonic relationship, so I decided to make some myself! I might make more in the future, but as for now... enjoy!
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Pre-Collider
Beginnings:
You and Johnathon have studied in the same university and became the closest of friends. He was always a more awkward and reserved guy, but he always felt comfortable around you; he'd tell you about his troubles and be there for you whenever you needed some support.
He is an extremely good listener and would always wait for you to be done venting before offering possible solutions to the problem, or just a shoulder to cry on, in case he couldn't come up with anything that would fix things.
Moving to Brooklynn:
After graduating, since you were both still single, you decided to move to Brooklynn NY together and share an apartment, figuring it'd be easier to split the bills and rent that way.
Johnathon always kept his workplace completely separate from home life. You were aware he was working at some research lab, but he'd always avoid elaborating on what he was doing or who he was working for.
He hated keeping things away from you, and if he could've, he would've told you everything that was going on at Alchemax. Unfortunately, his employment contract kept him from disclosing any details. He just hoped that wouldn't come in the way of your friendship.
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Post-Collider
The Spot is Born:
After Johnathon had been mutated, he was terrified of what you might think of him. His colleagues and even his own family had shunned him, and he was so scared you might do the same.
But against all of his expectations, you actually fully accepted his new form! And if he could've cried when you promised him you'd never turn your back on him, he would have.
At first, he was scared of using his powers, but thanks to your encouragement he began researching and mastering them. Though he generally tries not to rely on them too much, he's come to enjoy them, and when he discovered that you found them super cool it made him even happier!
Present day:
Whenever Johnathon gets insecure about being unemployed or about his body image, he always seeks comfort in you, and then promptly apologizes for being so needy, even if you constantly reassure him he doesn't have to feel sorry for it.
Sometimes, he feels guilty about you being the only one working and paying for everything, especially since you'd rented that apartment with splitting bills between each other in mind. So to make up for it, he occasionally steals things for you using his powers. Mostly food and other bare necessities... and sometimes, cute little trinkets he thinks you might like.
He publicly calls himself The Spot nowadays, but doesn't mind if you prefer to call him Johnathon. It actually makes him feel pretty nice to know that no matter how the rest of the world perceives him, for you he'll always be Johnathon.
With time, he begins to see his transformation as less of a curse, and although he still has a long journey in front of him, he's incredibly grateful you stuck with him through everything.
---
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kieren-fucking-walker · 4 months
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Hey folks!
A few people asked if I was okay after my other post so I thought I'd give a general update as to Life Things (tm).
My mum finally left my dad, nys sister got married and he wasn't invited to the wedding and the way he acted was enough to make her leave. My youngest sister (still an adult) was left alone with my dad in the house and I had to talk her through packing a bag and leaving without him noticing. They both left pretty much everything behind and we don't know if they'll be able to get it back. They're at my grandparents now which is further away from both of their workplaces and a very temporary solution, but safe at least. My youngest sister is disabled and she needs support nobody can really give her at the moment, but she's safe.
I lost Juniper (one of my cats) a few weeks back. It was old age, but I wasn't able to be with her and it still doesn't quite feel real. I miss her so much, and I feel very bad about not being able to be with her (a very good friend was though, she was loved and wasn't alone thank god.) Sage is looking for her sometimes but seems to have some understanding of what's happened since he saw her briefly afterwards, she's buried in my best friends garden having a new adventure.
My landlord put my rent up by £100, but hasn't fixed a lot of the things wrong with the flat. The cost of heating this place is ridiculously high, so I'm trying to put the heating on as little as possible even though it's dropping into the minus degrees. Apparently they're set to go up even more in the new year because this country wants to kill us I guess.
My disabilities are all flaring up at once, I've had to take unpaid leave from work, I've not been able to afford the physio sessions that stave off the joint issues, or the food that helps keep my protein levels up because it is expensive and I need to eat something at least. I'm very very lucky that we have the NHS and all of my medications now qualify so at least I get those.
It's coming up to Christmas, I don't know what it's going to be like this year. My family is scattered and all in precarious situations, none of us have much to spare and most of us don't have a permanent home or more than a suitcase of stuff. I need to get Sage his vaccinations, and I feel terrible about leaving him alone in the cattery over Christmas.
That is to say that life is a lot. It's good things, but unstable. My dad is harassing us all, but we aren't stuck with him. I can't afford to keep my disabilities at bay, but my family is safer even if they need more support. Mentally at least I'm okay, I think.
If you'd like to help out, my PayPal is here and my Ko-Fi is here. If you can't or just don't want to this is not for you, god knows we're all going through hard times at the moment and the world is going to shit, but if you do and you're able it will be much appreciated by me and my family.
Finally here is a picture of my beautiful Juniper. Rest in peace my darling.
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, and thank you for reading 💜
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bless-my-demons · 6 months
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Redamancy: Chapter Twenty
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Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?
Warnings: angstyyy
Notes: Posting a day early - y’all can thank @losa12308 for catching me in a good mood, hope this helps ya feel better hun❤️
Word Count: 2130
Series Masterlist
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Reader
Nearly two weeks Jacob Black has not only been ignoring and avoiding Bella, but Quil and I too. Ever since the night of the movies, since his uncharacteristically rude outburst at Mike Newton. Both of my best friends were stressed about it which in turn stresses me out. I’ve called him multiple times to leave voicemails about what he’s doing to his friends, but it was to no avail - radio silence remained.
Bella said Harry Clearwater told her it was mono, but anyone could smell that bullshit from a mile away. Did mono render you catatonic? Unable to communicate with people that care about you?
An uneasy feeling settled in my gut, it had to be more. Something was keeping him from us and I want to know what that something is.
I need to know, I can’t just lose another one…
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• March 4th, 2006 • Home •
Reader
“Mom!” I shout through the empty house, trying to locate her.
A rare day we both have off to spend together and I’m about to ditch her.
“Yes, sweetheart?” I hear her voice drift from the laundry room as I make my way downstairs.
Turning as the sound of my approaching footsteps, she raises her eyebrows at my appearance - noting that my state of dress isn’t exactly for a day-in at home anymore.
“Bella called, was wondering if I’d go hiking with her? I think she just needs to take her mind off of Jake and wants company.”
My moms face falls slightly, but I can tell she won’t stop me from running to my best friend’s aid, “Just be careful and take your phone.”
“Thanks mom!” I surge forward and hug her quickly before snatching my keys from the hook by the door on my way out.
“And be back before dark!”
“Of course, love you!” I shout back.
“I love you too, honey!”
I speed almost the entire way to Bella’s - wanting to get her mind off of Jake was true, but she also wanted help finding the meadow.
As in, the meadow.
Her and Edward’s meadow.
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• March 4th, 2006 • Ithaca, NY •
Jasper
For months I’ve been feeling with this crack in my soul because of her and I’ve been doing it alone. Admittedly it’s my own doing, but the chafing of not really having my brother in my corner has worn away at me in way that doubles the pain of the loss.
I find myself gravitating towards his closed door, something that before Ithaca would’ve been an odd sight, and knocking on the thin wood.
“Go away.” The words rumble in his distinct baritone just loud enough for me to hear.
“No.” I answer simply, just as tired.
The door whips open in a flash and his eyes send a shock through me. Not because they’re dark with hunger - but dark with anger. And his emotions reflect it threefold.
“What do you want?” His tone raises my hackles, reminding me that my brother isn’t one to be messed with in a mood like this one.
A delicate hand curls up and around his chest, the owner of it completely blocked from view by his massive frame, and he visibly deflates. His anger dialing back a fraction at the influence of just her touch.
A slice of pain lances through me, regret or just plain loneliness at this point I’m not sure.
“Hear him out.” Rose orders him softly, kissing him on the cheek as she slips out from behind him and meets my eyes before disappearing down the hall. “Good luck.”
I reign in the laugh that threatens to bubble up at her throwing me to the wolves, but it’s another thing I’m doing to myself of my own free will, I need my brother.
Holding open the door wider for me to enter, he turns on his heel and deposits himself into the loveseat across from the tv, some muted football game flashing on it.
“I miss you and I’m sorry.” I unload on him with no preamble. No drawn out apology has ever been a requirement of his, short and to the point always a favorite to him.
A dark laugh thunders from him in a way that crushes me even more, “That’s it?”
I nod, I had thought about this conversation for months since he started avoiding me, but all my rehearsed words vacate me.
“That’s one hell of an apology.” The remote emits a small crack as his anger continues to boil. “I got no say, no one wanted to hear me out, and I’m just supposed to suck it the fuck up and just go with the flow of what’s best for the family.” He’s practically vibrating with barely constrained rage, but I let him continue. “She’s not just yours, Jasper.”
A shock jolts me for the second time, his sadness tugging at my heart heavily.
“She’s yours and that’s what makes her mine.” I can tell my confusion spurs Emmett on and he rises from the couch, “As your brother, it’s my responsibility to be her protector and you fucking ripped that away from me. You’re hurting her on purpose and it’s hurting me.”
I’m speechless as his words sink in. Familial-like bonds in a coven as old as ours are strong, but I had no idea.
“She was also my best friend-my little sister. I told her I would be there for her and you’re making me break my promise - something I’ve never fucking done.” Turning away from me to pace in a very non-Emmett move, “Are you going to say anything?”
“I had no idea-”
“You never considered, never noticed, never asked. It’s only been you in pain. You and Edward. You don’t even see what it does to Alice every time you ask her to check on Y/n.”
Her name sends agony anew through me, a thin knife that slices flesh from bone with surgical precision.
“I’m scared.” He would’ve missed my whisper if it weren’t for his supernatural hearing.
“Scared of what?” He’s before me in a flash, gripping my shoulders. “Scared of loving her?”
“Scared of her loving me! Scared of hurting her!” The house falls into dead silence, listening. “You’ve never known terror like this with Rose! You’re not afraid to kill her just from being around her, smelling her, touching her. You have no restrictions, no boundaries!” Tears of venom swirl my vision, but refuse to fall.
I push him off me and turn, attempting to reign in my distress.
“Bro-”
“I can’t do this without you. It’s like wave after wave of grief and I’m at my limit Emmett.” The seriousness in my tone softens him, love and compassion flow from him in a way that feels like his old self and it loosens the tension inside me a fraction.
“I may be angry with you, but I’ll never leave you.” My brother spins me around and engulfs me in his signature bear-hug.
Esme may be the mother of our group, but Emmett is the glue holding us all together. I’d be drowning without my brother and if his death-grip of a hug is any indication, he knows it.
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• March 4th, 2006 • Forks, WA •
Reader
“I’m pretty sure we passed that tree two times in the last hour, Bells.” Tromping behind my best friend, I keep my eyes fixed down to prevent myself from tripping over the dense foliage.
“We’re close, I just know it.” There’s a desperate edge to Bella’s voice that stops my teasing and squeezes my heart, I know that feeling. To be grasping for something out of reach to link me back to him.
Pushing through a particularly thick cluster of low-lying branches, I smack face first into Bella’s backpack.
“Bella, you can’t just stop-” Finally my surroundings make sense and I realize we’ve found it. It’s brown and sad as fuck, but we actually found it.
I spin, taking in every inch of the dead meadow as Bella drops to the ground, fingers clutching the crunchy grass. Facing the middle again, I gasp at the figure standing before us, the sound startling Bella into a standing position next to me.
“Bella and Y/n.”
“Laraunt.” His name is a choked gasp on my best friend’s lips.
“I didn’t expect to find either one of you here.” He begins pacing casually in front of us “I went to visit the Cullen’s, but the house is empty? I’m surprised they left you both behind. Weren’t you both sort of… pets of theirs?”
“Y-yeah, you could say that.” Bella answers him as I reach for her hand, a sort of dread sinking in as I think over his words and what he might be getting at.
“Do the Cullen’s visit often?”
You need to leave, darlin’. He’s not safe.
“Yeah absolutely - all the time.” Bella’s lie causes the hair on the back of my neck to raise.
“We’ll tell them you stopped by.” I chime in, trying to make it seem believable and also trying to keep the shaking from my voice - both from the deadly turn of the conversation and from hearing his voice in my head.
“I probably shouldn’t - Edward,” the name rolling of her tongue has her squeezing my hand in pain, “Because he’s pretty protective.”
“But he’s far away, isn’t he? They both are.”
Terror begins to flood my chest, he’s making sure we’re alone.
“Why are you here?” Bella flips the questioning onto Laraunt.
“I came as a favor… To Victoria.” His answer practically stops my heart and I know he can hear it.
“Victoria.” The whisper slips from me without a second thought.
“She asked me to see if either of you were still under the protection of the Cullens. Victoria feels it’s only fair to kill Edward’s and Jasper’s mates, given they killed her’s.” His eyes flicked between us, no doubt sensing the blow of both of their names. “An eye for an eye.”
“Edward would know who did it! And he’d come after you.”
Threaten him.
“Jasper would hunt both of you down.” My emotions fill my voice, the threat not as potent as it could be.
“I don’t think they will. After all, how much could you mean to them if they left you here, unprotected?” The vampire sighs, like he’s actually fucking torn, “Victoria won’t be happy about my killing you, but I can’t help myself - both of you are so mouth watering.”
“Please don’t, y-you helped us-” Bella begins to panic, but he flashes directly in front of us with his speed, fingers reaching for our faces.
“Shhh-shhh, don’t be afraid! I’m doing you a kindness - Victoria plans on killing you slowly, painfully. Whereas I’ll make it quick. I promise, you’ll feel nothing.”
“Edward I love you.” Bella’s confession slips as I close my eyes and squeeze her hand in mine. At least we go together, right?
“I can’t believe it.” The awe in Laraunt’s voice opens my eyes as twigs begin snapping in the tree line behind us.
One large wolf, black as night, emerges from the forest. Large being a gross understatement - more like the size of a fucking horse. Behind the massive animal emerges more of the same, although slightly smaller, but no less scary.
A pack of wolves. A pack of supernaturally huge wolves.
And they’re facing down a vampire, no less.
A vampire on a mission to kill us.
Run.
The command zings through me and takes charge. I yank on Bella’s arm as Laraunt bats away the first wolf like it was nothing, it’s yelp stunning her into action.
The panicked sprint through the woods for her truck is much faster this time than the hike out, neither of us stopping or looking back.
Afraid to see if anything was giving chase.
Afraid to see if the wolves didn’t buy us time.
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The ride back to Bella’s was tense to say the least. Too stuck in my own head to even say anything to her, the terror still coursing through my veins keep my mouth shut and fists clenched. What if Laraunt got away from them? What if he was still hunting us?
I never realized until now how scary it is, not having the supernatural protection of the Cullens.
I never realized that I took for granted the safety Jasper surrounded me with. Well, used to surround me with.
The sour thought sends another all-too-familiar painful zap through my chest.
As soon as Bella pulls into her drive, I hop out and climb into my own as she runs inside, probably to tell her dad about the absolutely massive wolves lurking in Forks’ woods.
Wolves that might’ve just saved our lives.
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austonwithan-o · 10 months
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Summer Job- Trevor Zegras x Reader
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After a certain boy walks into your hair salon. How could you say no to him asking you on a date? I mean customer satisfaction right?
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No warnings!
You had just recently moved to Bedford, NY to live with your grandparents. They offered for you to live with them during the summers when it was too expensive for you to fly back to Portland where your parents lived. Attending NYU completely on scholarship you didn’t have time for a job during the school year. You did cut hair on the side for some of your friends and they paid you some which covered some weekend excursions but nothing too crazy. Little did you know that side hustle would lead to you meeting the love of your life.
Sitting in your bed you scrolled through job listings, a lot of grocery stores, gas stations, target, fast food places were hiring but nothing really caught your eye. Annoyed you closed your laptop letting out a groan.
“I refuse to work at McDonald’s mom. I’m not coming home smelling like fries and grease and it’s a whole 40 minute drive from here! There’s literally nothing interesting here.” You were annoyed with the sparse selection of employment available and despite your obvious disappointment your mom let out a laugh much to your dismay.
“Honey I know you don’t wanna come home smelling like a fast food place but you’re gonna have to choose something. Plus it’s just for the summer! Just like what, 2 months? You can survive 2 months y/n or here maybe ask grandma and grandpa if they have any friends who have businesses. They know a lot of people around there.” Her voice rang through the speaker phone on your nightstand, it wasn’t a horrible idea, your grandparents did have a great reputation in the town and a lot of friends.
“Hmm you’re not wrong?” You said picking up your phone, “I’m gonna go talk to them it’s dinner time anyways.”
“Alright sweetie I love you! Have a goodnight and keep me updated on the job hunt.”
“Will do momma! Love you too!” Hanging up and making your way downstairs the smell of your grandmas food was heavenly. You loved it here.
“Oh perfect! I was just about to call you down!”
Your grandpa said pulling a chair out for you to sit. You smiled and thanked him as he pushed it in.
“So grandpa I was on the phone with mom, looking for jobs with her and I was wondering if you knew anyone who would be willing to hire me for the summer? I mean there’s fast food and restaurants and stuff but I just thought maybe you’d have more, I guess, connections around here?” Taking a bite of the chicken on your plate. There was a few seconds of silence before your grandma spoke.
“You know I actually do know someone who’s hiring but are you good with hair? My friend Carla has a hair studio 10 minutes into town and she’s looking for another employee.”
Bingo.
“I can cut hair! I have a little side hustle at school cutting hair for like $10. I mean I’m not professional but I’m definitely not bad at it. I can also style and dye hair too!” This was the perfect job you thought plus the tips would be great!
“Her name is Carla! I’m going in tomorrow to get my hair trimmed. I’ll introduce you to her, she’s such a sweet lady!” Your grandma said, “We will leave around 11? My appointment is at 11:15 and I like getting there a bit early.”
You agreed. After dinner you spent a few hours playing cards and chatting with your grandparents eventually heading up to your room.
You woke up around 10:30am a little tired from staying up watching hair tutorials refreshing your memory on how to cut hair but you didn’t need much reminding.
You showered, got dressed and ran downstairs grabbing the keys to your old Jeep.
“Grandma I’ll drive!” You exclaimed rushing out the door.
“Alrighty I’ll be there in a second.”
The drive was peaceful. Driving through the colorful country you couldn’t help but admire how nice and green everything around you was. Your thoughts were interrupted by your grandma.
“I don’t know if you watch hockey at all but Carla has a little bit of a celebrity customer you know.” She smiled, “I’ve met him before his name is Trevor Zegras. He’s a hockey player. I’m not sure which team but he’s a cutie. Maybe you’ll get to cut his hair.” She shot you a wink making you roll your eyes.
“Ah yes grandma I definitely need a hot hockey player boyfriend to distract me all summer.”
“He’s a very charming young man! I bet you two would hit it off!” You laughed at her statement. A relationship was definitely the last thing on your mind for the summer. Making friends? That would be fun but definitely no boyfriend.
“Grandma you know I don’t need a boyfriend. I mean especially since I would just be leaving to school in a few months.”
“You never know y/n! People come into your life for different reasons.”
You smiled at her words but it was true. You didn’t want a summer fling. It wasn’t your style. If you were gonna date someone it was going to be serious and having a hockey boyfriend was definitely not on your list of things you needed.
You arrived at the hair salon. The sign displayed on top read, “Bedford Village Hair Design” it was a cute little shop. You could see a few workers at their stations and a few customers in the chairs. You both walked in hearing the chime of the bells, “Alice! Good to see you! You’re a bit early but I’ll just get you started over here-“ the woman who you assumed to be Carla gave you a wide smile.
“And who might you be?” She asked pulling you into a hug.
“Carla this is my granddaughter y/n! She’s staying with me for the summer and I brought her here to introduce her to you! She’s looking for a summer job and I think she would be perfect for your salon!” She said as she sat down in the seat, you followed close behind the two, standing beside Carla.
“Well I definitely wouldn’t be apposed! Can you cut men’s hair? I have more and more male clients coming in and I need more help around here!” Carla spoke trimming away at your grandmas hair. She was definitely not new to this.
“Yes! I cut my guy friends hair all the time in school. It’s like a little side hustle so I can make some money during the year.” You explained.
“You know what that sounds great! If you want just swing by tomorrow let’s say around 9:30am and you can start if that’s okay with you? I have someone coming in at 9:45am who you can do. He’s very sweet.”
“That sounds awesome! Thank you so much!”
You waited in the corner for your grandma to be done her hair which took about 20 more minutes and with that you both left after.
The next morning you woke up throwing on a flowy floral dress trying to match the vibe of everyone’s outfits yesterday. You wanted to make a good first impression so you took your time with your hair and makeup. Rushing out the door it was 9:15 by the time you left luckily there’s never any traffic in the small town.
Walking inside the small business you were greeted by Carla and another worker Gracie. She was around Carla’s age and very very sweet as well.
“Hi you must be y/n!” She greeted you giving you a hug.
“Yes! It’s good to meet you?”
“Gracie! My name is Gracie! Well I’ll give you the heads up since you’re new I’m gonna let you take my regular client at 9:45 today. His name is Trevor! He’s very nice so don’t be intimidated and he will let you know how he wants his cut.” She said handing you an apron.
For some reason your heart dropped a bit but you didn’t know why. You hadn’t even met the guy let alone seen his face and already freaking out.
“Are you sure? I mean I can take someone else if you want-“
“Lovely don’t be silly! I insist don’t worry he won’t bite you! I’ll still be here I’ll just be organizing in the back and Carla will be in the front or back with me.” She said and with that the sound of the door opening and the bells jingling made you freeze in your place.
“Carla! Gracie! And new girl?” You shyly turned around to face him. His smiled was so bright and his eyes were so pretty. He walked over and gave Carla a hug all while scanning you up and down. He pulled away eventually giving you a firm handshake. His touch sending sparks up your arm, making butterflies form in your stomach.
Oh my God he was gorgeous.
“Trevor this is y/n! Y/n this is Trevor! She’s gonna be cutting your hair today Trevor.” Gracie said grabbing his hand. His eyes hadn’t left yours and you could sense the nervous energy radiating off of his tall figure. He ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair which fell perfectly back into place framing his chiseled features.
“Oh cool! I’ll get a buzzcut this time.” The two older women let out exaggerated gasps slapping his shoulder making him laugh.
“Hey I’m kidding! You know I’d never do that Carla.” You couldn’t help but laugh as well at their reaction. You were already loving this job and you’d been there for about 10 mins.
“Trevor the day you get a buzzcut is the day I officially quit my job.” She handed you a barbers gown and he followed your lead by sitting down in the chair letting you throw it over him securing it in the back. Your hands were shaking and he could feel it as you tied the back lightly brushing the back of his neck.
“Alright y/n let me know when you’re done, I’m going to help Gracie in the back. Trevor no buzzcuts.” She gave him another light slap on the shoulder and he shot her a wink. The two ladies walked off exchanged glances at the two of you.
“You can lean back and I’ll wash your hair first.” He followed your directions placing his head in the neck rest.
“I’ve been coming here for a long time and I’ve never seen you here or around here for that matter. Where you from?” Trevor asked looking at you. You refused to make eye contact with him because you knew you’d fold under his eye contact.
“I’m from Portland but I live here in the summer times and I go to school at NYU.” You explained as you massaged his scalp with the shampoo.
“Oh that’s sick! Yeah I live here during the summers but I’m in Cali most of the year.” He was very obviously enjoying you running your hands through his hair and you couldn’t deny. You did as well.
“My grandma comes here a lot. She said you play hockey huh? I didn’t know there were hockey teams in California.” You admitted almost feeling a bit stupid letting those words leave your mouth. Trevor grinning at your remark.
“It’s a weird place for ice hockey that’s for sure but yeah the Anaheim Ducks. I’m guessing you don’t watch hockey?”
“Not at all. I’m not huge into sports but I played volleyball in high school.” You rinsed his hair off then wrapped his hair up in a towel and motioned for him to move to the hair cutting seat. His height shocked you a bit more when he stood up letting you really observe him. You caught the smell of his cologne as he walked by sitting down in the chair. You couldn’t get enough of him but you were fighting the feelings.
“I’ll have to get you to watch a few games. It’s important if we’re friends you watch hockey or at least know how the game works.” He stated looking at you through the mirror making it harder to concentrate with his gaze.
“Also, keep the shape but just make it a bit shorter. It’s kind of hard to see now.” Trevor grabbed a front strand of his hair pulling it down his face to see how long it was.
“Oh so we’re friends now?” Teasing him a bit. You snipped away at his hair following his request. You couldn’t help but notice all the tattoos on his arms as well letting your eyes scan his features more.
“I mean I’m trusting you with my hair so of course we’re friends but let’s say I ask you out on a date. Would that make or break the friendship.” The question caught you off guard.
Y/n you just said you weren’t gonna date anyone. Tell him no.
“I mean I don’t see how a date could hurt the friendship. I’m free anytime past 4 when the salon closes.” You couldn’t believe you just said that. It was like you had no control.
“Perfect I’ll pick you up at 4 tonight. What you’re wearing is perfect.” You blushed at his comment. Finishing up his hair and blow drying it. He stood up and you shook the barber cape off. You did a pretty good job you couldn’t lie.
“You know I might have you cut my hair from now on beautiful.” He turned around to face you.
“I mean I charge more so if you’re fine with that I’m fine with that.” Joking obviously you walked over to the wall grabbing a broom to sweep up all the hair you cut off.
“Worth every penny. I’ll pick you up at 4 from here. Leave your car here and we’ll just take mine.” Carla came back to the front soon after.
“Yay no buzzcut! You did really well Y/n.” Carla gave you an encouraging pat on the shoulder.
Trevor made his way up to the front with Carla to pay while you cleaned up the hair on the floor.
“I’ll see you tonight y/n.” Winking at you he left the salon.
“I’m guessing you two hit it off huh?” Carla smirked.
“I mean I wouldn’t deny it.” You blushed at her comment making her laugh.
“He’s a great kid y/n. I wouldn’t let him near you if he wasn’t.” Carla smoothed out her apron retreating to the back again.
This was gonna be a very interesting summer and an even more interesting school year.
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Tbh idk how I feel about this one but oh well
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velvetwyrme · 1 month
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So Flipping Fate is my favorite Underfell Papyrus fic but what is your favorite UF! Papyrus fic?
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AH 🥺❣️❣️ First off, thank you so much!! I'm glad you're enjoying Flipping Fate! :D!!!
Secondly, there's no need to apologize- my fav/s are definitely in the list you mentioned, but I'm more than happy to answer again here :]!! My favorite UF!Papyrus fic has GOTTA BE Thunderstruck. Absoluuuutely killer characterisation and development, delicious interactions and writing... I love it dearly 💖
Other notable fics (probably also in the list lololol) include; A Smile from the East and Roadside Attraction. ASftE made me fall in love with UF!Pap back in the old days of fandom, and Roadside Attraction made me adore him once again when I returned.
And since you asked so nicely, here are some more (sfw) UF!Pap/Reader recs that. also may or may not be in the list idk I didn't actually go back and check lol
Becoming Edge is a fic all about finding yourself and your identity through fashion and was instrumental in me doing the same. Really sweet!!! Pastel goth Edge... my beloved.
And speaking of pastel goth- My Soulmate is a Pastel Goth (And Other Concerns) is a enemies-to-friends-to-lovers fic with the added elements of Soulmates ✨! Love me some tempestuous soulmate fic. (Note: this fic also features Fem!Frisk as Sans' soulmate in the bg, so if you're not a fan, that's something to note ^^! Fr//ans isn't quite my thing, but tbh I'm really interested in seeing how things turn out for them here!)
Between a Rope and a Wrench, or; this skeleton is buying a lot of really weird, suspicious stuff but you will help him get it because it's your job and later because you're his friend. (Also, you choose his friendship over the possibility that you may become an accomplice in murder.)
Sound of Blooming... MAFIAFELL 💥💥!!!! It's been a bit since I read it but it's in ny bookmarks so... :3c!
A Home for Mending Souls is actually a UF!Bros/Reader, but it still counts. It's really good!! Healing from trauma! Soft moments! Slowly opening up to one another!
Till it Brews Over is a coffee shop AU where you purposefully misspell the name of your asshole regular, who just happens to be one edgy skeleton.
Also for additional fics that star UF!Pap that I enjoy/have enjoyed:
While I was looking for one of these fics it led me to realise that I STILL haven't read Fight Me! (by MsMk- not be confused with Fight Me! by Little_old_lady, which uses the same premise and is also really good, but it features FS!Sans instead of UF!Pap) Anyway, this is truly a travesty because they're a fantastic writer and I can only assume it got lost in my various open tabs >>"!! [Addition while drafting: I LOVE IT he's so sulky... I'm staring warily at the chapter count though. So much time for things to Go Wrong]
I actually really like UF!Pap in Bitty Hunt- his characterization is very much... reminiscent of that era of fic, but all the scenes with him in it are ones that have been seared into my brain !!
Another new-ish fic that I'm enjoying UF!Pap in is Honey Lemon Tea, which the summary succinctly describes it as "Papyrus finds his Grillby's... in the form of a very plain coffee shop.", and which I will less-succinctly describe it as "Anti-harem with a delightfully mysterious barista, with the obligatory awful gf"
Edit: I cannot figure out why for the life of me but the formatting looks REALLY weird on my end, but in the editor it's fine?? So if it looks weird/out of order to you please excuse this post, it seems to be some Tumblr Fuckery
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equallyshaw · 11 months
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a blue moon w mat barzal.
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insta edit.
Warnings: none !
Word Count: 1.8k+
Not the best, but wanted to get something out. A bit rusty, but hope you enjoy!
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they met at a very grand and very chic new years party, at the plaza hotel in midtown manhattan 3 years ago. she had been swaying to the old 1950’s music, sipping sparingly on the very expensive $600 champagne. she watched as my older sister danced with her newly minted fiance at the time, as the two had just become engaged over the very snowy christmas eve. lucy had originally planned to bring her boyfriend of 6 years to the new years eve party, but he broke up with her a week before christmas day. out of the blue, very sudden, and gave her no clarity whatsoever.
blue moon, you saw me standing alone
without a dream in my heart without a love of my own
but there she was, watching the loved up couples dancing as time winded down to midnight. She peered over her shoulder, towards the balcony and sighed, before making her way over. her newly gifted jimmy choo heals clicked uncomfortably on the marble floor. she felt an instant sigh of relief as the brunette stepped foot outside to the 12-degree, cold. she walked up to the railing and looked out of busy, busy new york, taking in all the sights and sounds, and the stray snow coming down as well. she smiled down at her hand, twisting the glass ever so slightly. she then looked up and to her right, and saw him. a tall, dark haired, mysterious man who leaned against the railing, looking towards the city. smiling, picking up her glass and walkedon over. he heard the heels clicking on the concrete and looked up towards the girl. he was gorgeous. her breath halted ever so slightly, and blushed. “fancy some company?” grinning, sipping her champagne. He watched as she did so, him intoxicated by her sheer presence. he took in all 5’4 of her, black dress and her bruntte hair in perfect waves. “why are you all alone?” he questioned, “no girl like you- should ever be alone.” forward, which she loved. whe smiled, “i could say the same to you shakespeare…” and he looked down ever so quickly.
"my ex broke up with me a month ago…nobody to take to the party. You?” he said shrugging. “ny boyfriend broke up with me..last week.” she said and he then saluted his drink towards her. “i suggest, were gonna need more of that.” he grinned, before alerting a server that they needed two new glasses of champagne. she looked at him with curiosity, as he thanked the server. she took the new glass, clinking her’s with his and swallowed a fine amount.
blue moon, you knew just what i was there for
you heard me saying a prayer for someone I really could care for
the night sky dawned upon them as they spoke outside at the party. the two spoke of who they were, where they come from, their past relationships, and more. the two couldn’t believe how they were so alike, yet very different. two different worlds colliding, so very smoothly. lucy stood there in shock, as mat waited for a response. “so quickly? She questioned and he nodded. “you’d go into a relationship without somebody so quickly after 3 years of dating?” he laughed. the laugh sending electricity and heat up her body. She watched as it traveled throughout his body, seemingly normal. Though, he hadn’t had a good chuckle that good in awhile. “what about you, miss lucy?” he questioned, watching her tug his tux’s jacket closer to her. “I mean, maybe? It would have to be the right person and if it fell right. I want somebody that will be there high and low, and in between. Somebody who will say yes no matter what to my crazy idea or suggestion…” mat cut her off- “which would be?” he grinned. She blushed, “maybe getting joes pizza at 2 am or ice cream at malibu diner..the simple things.” she teased sipping more of her drink. “I wish for that person as well, to stand by me through all the ups and downs of hockey and the chaotic life it brings.” he added and she nodded, placing a hand on his arm. “i do too, mathew.” she smiled, before sliding the jacket off and placing it in his hands. The two’s hands grazed one another’s, and she moved them so slightly, they were nothing longer touching. he looked down at the jacket and back up at her, but she was already on her way back inside. “lucy!” though she slipped right inside as soon as he said her name. he hurried inside to find her, but was too late, the madness had begun as the clock struck 12.
and then there suddenly appeared before me
the only one my arms could ever hold
mat walked into the grand ballroom at the plaza, one year later for the annual new years ever party. he scanned the room for one girl, and one girl only. the girl that had stolen his heart in the 45 minutes he knew her. a girl he had yet to see at joes pizza at 2 am or the malibu diner. anders pulled him further into the room as he spotted him walk in. “come on the guys are waiting.” mat sighed as he walked over towards bo horvat, zach parise, mat martin and beau; who had snuck down for new years from vancouver. anders pushed a vintage, tulip glass. he looked down and realized, he hadn’t had any champagne since last new years. he took a gulp, before the spicy yet sweet sensation tingled his throat. “Im gonna go look at the buffet.” he said and the guys nodded going back to their conversation and food. mat sauntered over to the buffet picking up a small china plate, and digging into the salmon, veggies some lemon rice. mat was about to turn to grab a glass of water when he heard her laugh. he turned so quickly, he bumped into an older gentleman. “oh my god, im so sorry!” he exclaimed bending down to help clean up the ice that spilled from the drink. “Grandpa, are you ok?” he heard her angelic, soft voice. mat looked up from where now the waiter was telling him they had it. He nodded, standing back up. lucy inspected her grandfather, while a man beside her eyed mat. lucy looked past her grandpa, and had a moment of realization. “Mat?” she questioned, and mat ever the dumb-looking mat nodded. “how are you?” she questioned, reaching out to hug him like the two had known one another for years, they pulled apart and thats when he saw it. He saw the vintage, at least 200,000 dollar engagement ring. she saw him look down at it, and she slowly pulled her hand back behind her back, where it had been most of the night. “how are you? who are you here with?” she questioned, as her fiance fell into side with her. “im uh, ive been good! Im here with some of my teammates.” he explained while pointing to the other side of the room. “oh good! glad its more people this time.” she smiled, a soft smile. He nodded, “so are you two?” he questioned putting the clues together. “Yes! We got engaged in July, while we were vacationing in Italy at my family’s estate.” lorenzo explained. mat nodded trying to read the girl’s face, who was trying to look anywhere but his. “hun, may you get me a drink please?” she asked and lorenzo nodded, kissing her temple before walking off.
“Congrats by the way.” mat said, and she nodded. “Yeah…sorry to ambush you.” she said patting down her silver dress. mat shrugs, “i mean how else would i know?” he asked giving an uncomfortable laugh. “Not like it was in the papers or anything.” he stated jokingly, and then he saw her face. “yeah, my family is uh pretty wealthy and uh..yeah.” she said sheepishly and then lorenzo walked back up, with a cosmopolitan in his hand. “thankyou.” she said taking it from his hand and setting it on the table behind them. “i uh should probably be heading back to my friends, im sorry for for your drink sir.” he motioned towards her grandpa, and he waved him off. “im just glad i got another one for our sake.” he laughed, causing mat to laugh as well. lucy smirked, knowing that her grandpa hadn’t had a hearty laugh like that with lorenzo. mat walks away, and lorenzo is in distress.
mat watched from a far for about 45 minutes, a tense conversation between the fiances. he saw lorenzo walk out of the ballroom, and lucy towards the terrace. he followed her about 5 minutes after the door was closed behind her. he walked outside, and she turned around instantly. she had hoped he saw that she walked out. “lucy?” he questioned, pulling off his jacket like he had done last year and draped it over her shoulders, and he wrapped his arms from behind, pulling her into him. she smiled widely, “i had been waiting to..to be held by you once again.” she smiled up at him. he blushed, “you are the only one i want to hold.” he whispered in her ear, staring at the city in front of him.
Iiheard somebody whisper please adore me
and when I looked the moon had turned to gold
she turned around in his arms, looking up at him. “i’ve decided to leave a life i thought was meant for me, and what i wanted but…i dont want that mat. he was never the one, those 45 minutes were the best 45 minutes of my life mat. i havent been able to stop thinking about you since last year. and i dont want him, i want you mat. only you.” she confessed and he smiled, pulling her in as close as possible. “i wanted somebody to adore me…the way i adore them.” she whispered, and he nodded. he drawed her chin towards his, his cool hands sending waves of sensation down her spine, before he kissed the brunette. the rare full moon of new years eve, cascaded down upon them. no longer a ‘blue’ moon but a ‘gold’ one at that.
the two start their first dance as partners, at the very place they met for the first time and three years after they first met. when the two were presented with picking the date, the two looked at one another and instantly knew when and where. and with a little help from her grandpa, the two were to wed on new years eve at one of the most sought-after hotel in nyc. and there plans for after midnight? a 45 minute walk to malibu diner for icecream and pie.
hope you all enjoyed!! pls like and repost, itd mean a lot.
random tags: @matbaerzal @barzysunflower @barzal @rosesvioletshardy @canuckshuggy @bitchinbarzal @andreburakozy @jayda12
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bwbawa · 4 months
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hello, so I'm questioning if I'm autistic so i can reach out for a diagnosis maybe, and i saw another person do this so i wanted to try it out
i wrote a list of some of the things i think that are autistic traits about me and if anyone would like to please read them and tell me if they could be autism or maybe smth else? lol, just as a big favour really. I'll give more context if any is needed, thanks so much!!
also please reblog for reach if you want to, thank you
ts bellow the cut :]
- stimming ( twirling and braiding hair, used to suck on my own hair as a kid, rocking back and forth, doing ??? weird stuff with ny mouth and fingers lol, moving legs a lot)
- echolalia; internal, repeating phrases and songs on my head, but also doing sounds with my mouth
- always feeling like an outsider. This wasn't bad for me as a kid since i was very into creepypastas and media related to being an outcast, i never related it to something bad until adolescence which im still in, and I'm more insecure now about it.
- also, very extroverted as a kid, didn't get social cues and was offensive sometimes
- couldn't and still can't control my strength very well ( sometimes things fall out of my hands or i touch someone harder than i wanted to)
- sensitive skin, to heat cold and pain
- very talkative, as a baby was LITERALLY born babbling
- not good at eye contact, either do way too much or way too little
- terrible at maths (jst not logical to me??? dk how people find them logical )
- kinda restrictive interests but no special interests
- very picky as a child, fav foods were salted noodles with ketchup or by themselves. ( still can't stand some foods and mixing some foods together )
- horrible coordination and balance: didn't learn to tie my shoes correctly, how to ride a bike or how to swim, i bought wheelies and cant use them because my balance is horrible, i run weird (like a baby kind of) and I'm always stumbling on my own feet
- again, didn't learn some stuff until grown: didn't know how to shower correctly or make my bed ( could be due to being very taken care of as a kid, aka my mom didn't let me do stuff by myself )
- terrible spacial awareness: again, stumbling with my own feet, waddling like a penguin when i walk with my friends lol
- bad perception of time
- got upset when things didn't go my way
- ran away when kids were being too loud but didn't mind big performances loud spaces
loud THUDS or sudden noises however startle me, scare me and stress me out: was and still am kind of afraid of balloons, shouting people and loud thuds. As a baby i cried when someone spoke too loudly
- lately I'm much more sensitive to stimuli than i was, could be due to heightened stress in my life: badly done beds make me want to cry, crumbs on the bed feel like hell, heat and sweating are hell, some months ago i cried because my sunglasses and headphones weren't working and there were too many sounds, my head it hurted and everything felt wrong, sent me into a kind of crisis.
- don't think I'm overly empathetic, but i have a strong sense of justice and get very upset and ill about injustices.
related to that, movies and shows that require a lot of stress i don't like, they make me feel ill and i prefer spoilers when it's like that, i get too nervous.
- socially awkward and don't know how to keep conversations going, at least small talk.
- although i used to talk a lot, nowadays i prefer to stay quiet sometimes.
- i get VERY angry and frustrated but it goes away kind of quickly?
-i used to be very loud and I still dont know how to control my tone of voice ( how loud or quiet i am) and i spoke in a very high pitched voice as a child
- i used to read a lot, went to the library in the recess instead of hanging out all the time with kids and used some complicated words that my parents didn't know i knew
- all my life i only had one close friend ( not the same, but always one)
- i think i had a specific routine of morning
- i have a hard time concentrating and being organized
- i make plans for myself in the night and get upset when OTHERS interrupt it but not when i do
- hard time knowing when to pee and when to eat
- again sensory issues, some foods make me want to puke, and wet, sticky or extremely dry hands are disgusting. Also, light touches feel like anger.
- as a kid I repeatedly watched stuff, ended up boring my family because i only wanted to watch that multiple times
- sensory seeker as a kid kind of, slept with my feet up, danced a lot (stimming?)
-i get irritated easily and can hurt people verbally
- don't know if related but i sometimes very anxious, get upset about not saying goodbye correctly to certain people, as a kid i used to cry and didnt want to go to school because of a "bad feeling" that smth bad was gonna happen, could be anxiety.
i absolutely sure there's more, but I don't wanna keep typing
just to finish, most of my circle is neurodivergent. And family wise, my sister is audhd, one cousin and uncle are autistic, my mom has adhd and two of my cousins are suspected autistic.
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thelaurenshippen · 4 months
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okay, so, I tried to attend the virtual SAG meeting on saturday to ask some of my questions but it was literally full - I did not know that could happen virtually. but it's amazing, I love that the membership is SO galvanized.
that said, I have watched the in-person meetings for both LA and NY (both of which are, uh, 4 hours long thank god for 2x speed on youtube). the wonderful actors in attendance (including some real life pals!) asked all my questions and more. I took some notes on the SAG presentation (only the LA one - I didn't watch the NY presentation, just the Q&A) but I'm assuming it was larger the same) and the answers from the Q&A that I thought were particularly interesting.
I'm making a new post because my original post got so long, but I'm going to link this with a small summary in a reblog as well, because I think it's important to see how my thinking has shifted as I've gotten more information. (also, on that original post, I've seen some folks be like 'I'm not an actor or a sag member, but I think you should vote yes'...lovingly, please stop. share the post! share your thoughts! but please don't try to pressure a vote on a contract you have no material investment in).
anyway, let's get into it:
the presentation
nothing really revelatory here, but there were a few points that Duncan Crabtree-Ireland (the chief negotiator and a lawyer) brought up that I thought were really interesting:
if you wanted to make your own digital replica or have one made with a third party contract, you could then license that under the same consent rules as if the company did the scan. my brain immediately latched onto this because I think there is a lot of very interesting ramifications for someone making their own replica and then making an argument that the company needs to license that replica instead of scanning them. I don't think this is something that's really going to happen in a major way in this contract period but an actor having and controlling their own replica and making companies pay for it is genuinely very cool if I'm understanding it correctly.
he did mention that the dubbing issue with alteration was more about companies being able to hire an actor to dub in a foreign language and then alter the actor's mouth to match the dialogue, so presumably would not be a threat to dubbers. I don't know that the companies are required to hire a voice actor for this, but that was at least good to hear.
the whole thing about synthetic performers...Duncan really made some interesting points around this. in the Q&A, he basically echoed the point that I made in my original point that this doesn't actually have to do with actors at all, but he saw the inclusion of it as a good thing. synthetics have nothing to do with actor employment, but duncan argued that by putting it in here, we're forcing the studios to acknowledge that synthetics are horning in on our territory and it seems that the union will work to de-incentivize the use of synthetics by making it more expensive than hiring an actor (really hoping the MOA provides more clarity on this)
studios will meet with SAG twice a year to talk about AI stuff
he confirmed that studios have to hire background actors and if they use their digital replicas (which the background actors have to consent to) those actors have to be paid for their replicas work.
he made the argument that there are a lot of things, like consent to replicas, that are conditions of employment: salary, relocation, nudity, etc. and that's true, certainly, but this is still something we're going to have to keep close eyes on IMO.
there's a provision that actors have to be given notice for scenes that may be triggering to film! cool!
the Q&A
this is just a sampling of the many wonderful questions that were asked - if you're a member, I highly recommend you watch both of the livestreams and future meetings.
I didn't know this but there's a legal framework for minors to disavow contracts when they're 18, so this would allow minors to rescind their consent of their digital replicas. good!
someone pointed out that SAG could notify the membership about a company using synethics (which they have to notify SAG) about and use the membership/public to pressure the studios or boycott the use of synthetics. SAG confirmed that there's nothing to prevent SAG from telling us and letting us galvanize the public.
duncan reminded everyone that companies rely on copyright to make money and currently AI cannot legally by copyrighted, which will de-incentivize studios from leaning on it.
companies can only use digital replica in projects they've contracted, they cannot sell them to third party, which includes non-identifiable data. this was a great question and it's awesome to hear that the companies cannot do anything with any of the replica data, anonymized or not, without your consent.
there is so much likeness legislature out there already (you own your likeness, etc.), so these things just bolster those
a company choosing to hire someone else because you won't consent to scanning is not retaliation but being replaced during the course of your employment because of not consenting is and you could take action against that studio. and remember, they have to ask for your consent on specific things, so you would be giving your consent throughout presumably.
someone asked about loopholes with generative AI, and SAG emphasized that any resemblance to a real actor kicks it from synthetic into digital replicas and the actor would have to consent/be paid
background actors seem divided - in some ways they've gotten major gains and in others, they're very worried about being replaced because they don't want to be scanned.
they did fight for union consent to use of generative AI, and the studios are seemingly never going to give that
there was a question about studios scanning non-union actors and creating digital replicas and just using those instead; if I understood correctly (which I'm not sure I did), the studios would not be able to do that under this contract - all the digital replica terms would apply to any replica done, union or not.
my thoughts
I have all the same concerns as I expressed in my original post, but I do think that these meetings reassured me that SAG has the best intentions. I have been very vocal about my criticism of SAG (specifically how they approached podcasting, my main art form) so I don't have rose-colored glasses here. I have also seen them really improve on those areas of criticism in the past several years and I think we always have to keep in mind that we'll be back at the negotiations in two and a half years. I do think SAG is doing the best they can.
I also think it's important to always assume that the studios have the worst intentions. they're going to violate this contract if it's ratified and accept their fine/slap on the wrist/do not work orders and then violate the contract again. they're going to find loopholes to save money and behave badly. no contract in the world could prevent those things from happening. SAG is not great at enforcing these violations but no contract is going to fix that.
it has always been important for actors to rely on their agents, lawyers, and union for support and reporting violations and that's going to be more important than ever under this contract. it's also going to be so important for the famous and wealthy actors to sue the studios when there's particularly bad behavior on the AI stuff.
it's also going to be really important for you guys - the audience, the subscribers - to fully reject any and all use of synthetic performers. public pressure will be the way we keep acting alive as a profession and art form.
but here's where I'm at: I'm leaning toward yes. "but lauren, you had so many concerns! you think that this contract is an existential threat to acting!" yeah, I know. I'm still there, but I'm also leaning yes. I believe SAG when they say we're not going to get a better deal. I think even if we did go back on strike, we're losing public support and support from other unions - actors barely have leverage to begin with (which is why SAG contracts have historically not been great) and I don't foresee us gaining more over the next 6 months.
so I don't think we're going to get a better deal and I also agree that it's better to have some protections in place instead of nothing. ultimately, it comes down to the fact that my issues with the contract have a lot to do with that existential threat and the icky feeling that I get thinking about signing a contract that suggests at times that actors are meat puppets.
if this was a contract I was looking at as an individual, I would not sign it, plain and simple. but collective bargaining is a different thing. this contract unarguably gives actors more protection against AI than they currently have. we will get to renegotiate again in less than three years and this is a much better place to start from, especially considering how much AI will grow and change in the next few years. if we have to go on strike again, we will, and we'll be armed with a better contract and more knowledge, especially since we'll be able to see how studios behave within this contract.
I completely understand why people want to vote no. I would never presume to tell someone how I think they should vote - follow your conscience. I personally will not be voting until I've had time to review the MOA (memorandum of agreement) and I would encourage everyone to read the full contract before deciding how to vote.
tldr: I am leaning toward voting yes because my pragmatic brain is winning out - as someone who has experience negotiating with major studios as an individual, I know that SAG is telling the truth when they say this is likely as good as its able to get. this is the first battle in a war of AI and we can either live to fight another day or not. I think this contract will help us live, even if it isn't an out-and-out victory.
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doulayogimama · 3 months
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One of my resolutions for the future is to really try not to lose my shit over surprise expenses.
I remember the first major time in my adult life I experienced something like this. We were driving NY —> CA and in Iowa we started having car issues. Had to stop in Nebraska for 1 night and they charged us like $600 for a new part “we needed” (we didn’t). We had like $2k to our names at the time (damn this was a full decade ago) and I was losing my ever loving mind. My money issues with my family had me SPIRAL.
Guess what? 20 year old jovanna / 28 yo Kevin figured it out. We made the money we needed to make and we got through it. As the decade has passed, we have only steadily grown in financial comfort (which I’m VERY grateful for as an entrepreneur).
The $150 cab tomorrow; my mind wants me to believe this is CATASTROPHIC. We should just pack up and go home. Everything is going wrong and we shouldn’t even bother.
BUT WHAT IF INSTEAD:
I recognize that this same circumstance has happened to me 100 times over my adult life. Probably more. Something happens, and you have an extra expense you didn’t account for. Even when my mom had literally no money after the divorce and the lights / water got turned off, you find a way. You just do. I sold my / her designer purses and we jumped for joy when the cash was put in our hands.
Thankfully, I have the money to pay for this expense I wasn’t expecting. I don’t need to put it on a 30% APR CC (I used to do this with the first CC I had until Kevin finally helped me pay it all off when I was like 22).
It is what it is. “Nothing is mine” as the Buddha said. I’m not taking this money with me when I die, it’s just currency. I have an expense, I’m going to pay it, thank the Universe that I can afford it, and just keep on keeping on.
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verana115 · 4 months
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Tldr; My next trans-pride flag post will jump numbers from my previous post from peak 44 to peak 53. No I didn't forget a post, no you didn't miss one, and no I didn't lose my phone this time - I just reorganized the list of mountains I'm doing
For those of you who are curious about the details:
I reworked the current list of peaks I'm climbing to be a list of 131 of the P1k peaks in the Northern Appalachians. Because of this, some peaks that I climbed this summer that were previously additional peaks are now main peaks. The reason for the change is that I need to focus my efforts and make the 131 a realistic goal for me in my life right now, which is limited by time constraints (working), geographic constraints (living only in the Upper Valley), and life plans (not wanting to spend too much more time in the Northeast (currently thinking about staying through next August or so)). What changed is that now the list is a list of 131 of the P1ks in the region (i.e. nor an exhaustive list), as opposed to the previous cutoff of 1240ft, which was an odd choice in retrospect. The current iteration of the list can be found here:
https://www.peakbagger.com/List.aspx?lid=-948013&cid=39805
That being said, I don't view the current iteration of the list as any easier than the last, I just view it as more realistic for me given that the next time I'm living in my van, I'll almost certainly go to another region and won't want linger in NY/NE for long. What this means is that I'll have a very limited time window after I'm done working to hike more in the Northeast. Meanwhile, while I'm working, I'm simply unwilling to consistently drive 6+ hours each weekend to go bag a peak in Maine or the Catskills that isn't that much more prominent than a peak in NH/VT. Make no mistake, I'm still going to be putting *a lot* of effort into these peaks - this change just makes it so that that effort is as focused and fruitful as it can be
The peaks that have been retroactively added to the main list that I've already done are:
6/131 - West Kill - July 14
20/131 - Bald - July 28
22/131 - Western - July 28
23/131 - Ragged - July 29
24/131 - Megunticook - July 29
39/131 - Sugarloaf - August 23
40/131 - Mars Hill - August 24
49/131 - Peak 2620 - October 28
The photos of these peaks I've already posted here, but if you want to see them, feel free to check out my google drive of photos:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1xlSe-BeaVVTCi7SD-xil3wXzDJ8zjHUs
Thanks for reading this far :P
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blue-jisungs · 9 months
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5k followers event !
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CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?? BC I CANR 😍 we hit 5k!!!! thank you all so so much from the bottom of my heart, i cannot fully express how thankful i am 🥹 it doesn’t matter if you’re new here or been there since the begging (well technically it does, you’re an OG!!! love u<;3), as someone once said: it doesnt matter whom you have known the longest, it’s about who came and stayed till the end (or something like that lol)
so to celebrate i decided to make a lil poll and txt won the voting! combining my first ever band that waltzed into my heart and stayed there (5sos) with one of the latest ones (txt) seemed like a fun idea! now, if i could i’d write it in a completely different way but my attention span isn’t the greatest + i have a couple of different projects going on (such as the july jam session which was inspired by it btw lol), so here’s how it looks: each member has a piece written (~1k words each) connected to a certain song from an album! i know, i know there’s no sgfg but i couldn’t match anything <\3 and i was having such a hard time bc i am biased, okay? i love youngblood and 5sos5 and it was SO HARD TO PICK A ONE SONG?!
okay i need to stop talking so much. anyways, here’s the masterlist that will be updated! (did u see what i did here? i put them in the order of release just like the way i’ll post my fics–)
good girls ,, huening kai — 2/07
the only reason ,, yeonjun — 4/07
better man ,, beomgyu — 7/07
best years ,, soobin — 10/07
HAZE ,, taehyun — 12/07
again. thank you so so much! i wouldn’t be here if not you!! :( i’d like to thank my moots, my beloved friends i’ve made on here. now bare w me bc why does it feel like i’m leaving or something 💔 i just love n appreciate you so much but, here we go:
thank you ola, my mother ☝️ (@l3visbby) for correcting my works even when i didn’t ask you to :( you’re always there to hear my rambling (literally) and you’re the grammar police muahaha also a big big inspo, i’m genuinely grateful that you’re here, bearing n somehow managing my bullshit
ZANNA! @slytherinshua, my loveliest friend, an angel, felix in disguise, biggest joshua and dk stan e v e r!!! what id do without you…? probably die (not to be dramatic 🙄). you’re such a inspiration and good person to be around, i love your reblogs and conversations with you! you never fail to me make me smile and it’s always a fun time screaming abt taehyun together <3 you’ve been with me since… what, like… forever!! (almosr a year actually i still can’t believe it) and i’m so happy that we met <3
KIMCHI!!! 김치 LIKE THE KOREAN DISH!!! KIMCHI LIKE NY BELOVED FRIEND @planetkiimchi!!!!!! you’re so sweet. like, always. thank you for introducing me to nct LMAO but in general, i love texting with you :( you’re so funny and always being such a positive vibe!!! not to mention your writing, it’s genuinely so amazing?? i still remeber the chan piece you sent to me before posting, it made me so emotional AND IF THAT DOESNT SPEAK VOLIMES THEN I DUNNO⁉️ thank you for popping in my inbox n making me smile so much <3
speaking of inbox @lipedaisy i’m looking at you 🫵 debs, you’re so so lovely :( i uh, tend to forget about things, ahaha! so when you pop in n say simple stuff like drink water i feel like… well, you’re a life saver lol! you’re always so kind and bring positive energy, i love chit chatting with you (even if i forget to reply💔).
i hope you won’t be mad i mention you in one paragraph but it’s only because it applies to you all!!! @fairyhaos ,, @mirxzii ,, @rubywonu ,, @etherealyoungk ,, @delcakoo ,, @crxzs and @enluv you inspire me so so much!!! not only you’re the loveliest and funniest people i’ve met but i love your writing!! i know i don’t reblog that much but i write more than i read <\3 but you have amazing talent, your works are always beautifully written. nia, roxie, skye, yena, ema, angie, coco you deserve all the happiness in the world and i’m so grateful we’re friends (even though i’m a dry n late replier sometimes <3)
and to my other moots — @yeonscity-main ,, @sieunsgf ,, @malarign ,, @ddeonudepressions ,, @pnkvernon ,, @wqnwoos ,, @wheeboo ,, @ylliris-hanniehae ,, @icyminghao : thank you for being here!! even if we met only a couple days ago… you make me so happy, i love interacting with you n talking abt goofy stuff, you understand me so well and we get along so smoothly it’s making a lil heart really happy :( you make tumblr feel more like home <3
and to readers (if you made it to the end, wow. like, seriously. i personally wouldn’t 🏃‍♀️💨 so, thank you <3), my babies precious gems angels cuties patooties!! thank you so so much for supporting me and my work! i know i complain abt empty reblogs but it’s only bc they motivate me more lol!! i am truly grateful n blessed to have you, even ghost readers (i see you🫵)! without you, rhis blog wouldn’t exist today >_<
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mobius-m-mobius · 5 months
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Thank you so much for replying to my anon ask! And please don't apologize for your long reply. I LOVE IT!
Sylvie has every right to build and explore the kind of love she wants, but I think she lacks self-awareness in her "call-out" of Mobius, which is why Loki calls /her/ out in the next scene, reminding her that the only reason she's at the TVA is because she couldn't kill Victor, not because she actually wanted to /help/.
I sent an ask to @bebx that I hope you don't mind that I copy/paste here, because that blow up about pie sets up Mobius narratively in the next 2 episodes.
Let's talk about the TVA seal. If Loki was the original founder of the TVA before HWR takes over and performs a memory-wipe, the dagger represents Loki, the hourglass/Mobius strip represents Mobius, the shield looks like it might actually be a mask, which can represent Sylvie, who has a gift for enchantments. All 3 of them need to be on the same page to succeed.
Speaking of Sylvie, a word on the pie scene: from a plot perspective, this was Mobius's lowest point. He must feel worthless and good for nothing. This is actually critical for c when Loki finds him: I think Mobius might decline going back, not necessarily because his life before TVA was any better, but because he will likely think he will cause more harm then good, and that the only thing he's good at is selling jet skis, which can't possibly harm anyone.
Loki, because he didn't say anything during the confrontation with Sylvie, will be compelled to tell him that's absolutely not true. Loki will tell Mobius that his kindness and his believing in him changed everything. Perhaps, if we're lucky, we'll get some kind of love confession. Loki might say he can't save the timeline alone and he /wants/ Mobius at his side. Thus, Loki believing in Mobius causes Mobius to believe in Loki. When his memories get wiped in the future by HWR, his love Loki (romantic or platonic) will be an echo of his love for jet skis. He won't remember why he loves Loki, he just knows he dies because he did before. Thus closing the loop and fulfilling the snake eating its own tail. Who saved who?
Lastly, For All Time, Always had been presented as an ominous slogan. I believe this is actually a pact Loki, Mobius and Sylvie make among themselves to protect all timelines and free will. When HWR invades the TVA and perfoms the memory wipe, the slogan becomes perverse. I bet the pruning sticks, magic dampeners, collars, and torture devices were brought into the TVA by him. He is an inventor, after all.
Also, in rebuilding the TVA's facilities (which will take some powerful magic, magic that would create a place that would impress a post-NY Loki), Mobius might request Loki and Sylvie for a pie automat and hot chocolate dispenser. Because stress. Sylvie might use her magic to grant his wish as a peace offering.
Oh hi! Lovely to meet you and of course, such a pleasure to read and reply to 😊
Really wish there was more thought put into Sylvie's direction this season because at this rate there hasn't been any depth into the time she's been spending at the McDonald's branch which she seemed to be enjoying building a routine at, in comparison to suddenly going back to trying to chase He Who Remains variants while constantly telling everyone at the TVA they're dragging her back in while *she's* following them around?
Her not knowing what to do with herself makes sense considering her life had been dedicated to revenge until now but I just can't connect in any way when her one firm goal has been protecting all timelines enough to give the people there chances to live full lives and no matter the terrible history she has with the TVA, they're the only entity capable of ensuring that. Would never expect her to like the place or anyone there but they've already proven they're now working to preserve and she has no other plan to offer than burning everything to the ground which isn't an option while the loom's at such a critical level so her repeatedly ignoring what's right in front of her is feeling more than a little pointless.
(here we go again haha, adding a read more for everyone's sake!)
Don't mind at all and completely agree about the narrative being set specifically to explore the mindset Mobius has been in all season as well as his perspective on finding out his past. Still debating on whether he has any awareness of the TVA when we see him again and am leaning heavily toward him being the original version of himself with no knowledge of Loki or anything else that's happened so I'd love to see how Loki convinces him or if there's any kind of inherent connection or understanding lingering between them anyway?? But if he does have access to his memories I really do think he'd want to take a step back after watching Loki go after Sylvie after the pie situation.
Which would therefore lead to Loki going into detail about the conversation he had with Sylvie defending Mobius and all he's done for not just everyone on the branches but himself as well and I really do think there's going to be a mutual confession regarding how they've changed each other for the better whether it's during the process of Loki getting Mobius' memories back or afterwards when they're (hopefully) fully back to the versions we've gotten to know and love.
I noticed the detail of the TVA seal when it got cracked and couldn't believe it didn't hit me earlier, lol! A dagger and a Möbius strip, how poetic 🥺 As for the third member making up the timekeepers I'm open to however it goes but can't help rooting for B-15 to have the position simply because she's such a strong person with true faith in what the TVA and be and accomplish and I think she's earned the spot but I could see Sylvie reluctantly coming around to the goals of a reformed TVA enough to lend her magic to certain elements of the design and do like to think every Loki can't help but have a soft spot for every Mobius so you may very well be right as to how so many sweets ended up in the TVA 😂
Still confusing me is how and when exactly HWR eventually enters the picture and takes control, and where Loki or Sylvie are at that point since Mobius, B-15, and Casey have clearly still been working there but think you're absolutely right about HWR having invented and introduced the more dangerous and controlling elements of the place.
Finally I just have to say I think we'll absolutely get a "For All Time, Always" exchanged between Loki and Mobius right before the series ends and you have no idea how here for it I am, really just want the two of them accepting how much good they can do at the TVA and when they're together so can't wait to see where the series eventually takes us!
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bookshelfdreams · 2 months
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“#can someone update me on recent happenings work is killing me rn & I can’t keep up :(” (https://www.tumblr.com/bookshelfdreams/739898589790208000?source=share) okay. SO.billboard: I think the big renewal donation campaign is to buy a billboard in LA or NY or something advertising for renewal, but that’s the least wild news of the last few days
insider trading: apparently zaslav sold a bunch of HBO/Max shares right before the cancellation announcement, which seems suss, as if he’d knew their value would tank after the news (it did drop by like 4 or 7% or something), but I don’t know enough about shares to judge how shady it actually is
GLAAD: OFMD got nominated for an Outstanding Comedy Series GLAAD award (queer rep awards), and the HBO/Max socials have been silent about itlube: Astroglide Lube’s twitter posted "Feeling like I need to go watch Our Flag Means Death?“ (https://x.com/ASTROGLIDE/status/1747321003397800155?s=20), possibly apropos of just hearing about renewal hype, possibly in relation to something, people HAVE taken to tweeting more and more random celebrities/companies to spread the petition; and whoever their social media manager is GLADLY embraced the attention, and the fandom embraced them, and there’s been silly fanart and memes, and the Astroglide twitter is planning a watchalong reaction thread, uh, possibly today
I think the "plushies” reference might be to plushy company Squishable basically doing the same thing - being tweeted at to share the petition, and embracing the attention - but I’m not certain how that one started
internet famous cat Jorts(’s social media manager) reiterated their love of the show (https://twitter.com/JortsTheCat/status/1747869887819845652)
HBO chairman/CEO Casey Bloys in a post-Emmys interview said “I need Gay Twitter to come out and support Gilded Age” (https://au.news.yahoo.com/hbo-casey-bloys-talks-emmy-112944119.html) which of course made gay twitter furious because this was right after the OFMD cancellation, and apparently Gilded Age has, like, one gay character who’s treated about as well as you’d expect, so like. wtf. read the room, mate
In another post-Emmys interview, Bloys said “the numbers weren’t there for a renewal” for OFMD (https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/hbo-casey-bloys-emmys-dominance-1235790045/), which is, like. blatantly false by pretty much every metric, so rather shows their arse on just wanting to get rid of the show because it’s too inclusive or something.
OKAY I THINK THAT COVERS IT
-- @cuddlytogas
THANK YOU YOU’RE A LIFE SAVER
I knew about some of these - the billboard and “the numbers weren’t there” and the allegationg of insider trading (that’s my favourite part of this. I hope this reaches critical mass. I hope Zaslav gets prosecuted for this. I don’t even care if he’s found guilty, if he’s innocent, fine, but I want him to stand in front of a judge and explain himself. “The selling of stocks was unrelated, I personally cancelled our network’s most successful running show for different reasons.” “What reasons?” “I hate gay people.” XD)
Anyway, that’s an excellent writeup! I hope you have a spectacular weekend, again tysm!
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denial-permanente · 1 year
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Hi,
First of all, I want to thank you and Tom for the interesting real life chastity blog.
Different than many other blogs that are based on men’s chastity fantasies. This doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying them 😊.
We are a couple in our mid 50’s and this year we are happily married for 35 years. We are young at mind and fully enjoy life as it is supposed to be.
Since my childhood I have affection for bondage and other kinky stuff in contrary of my wife.
However, she knows my kinks and all those years she does efforts to understand this and she helps me out to fore fill my needs.
In the mid 90’s we watched on national a TV show regarding special fetish and taboos. There was an interview with Mr Walter Goethals of Carrara design experimenting with male chastity devices.
At that moment I also knew that chastity was something for me.
With internet more information on male chastity became available. When the CB6000 came out I purchased one and started to experiment with It. Sometimes I was locked for 3 weeks. However, the plastic case in 2 longitude parts gave me painful issues.
To make a longs story short, over several years we ordered several chastity cages and finally I have this cheap metal case from Alibaba that works fine, together with an anti-pull-out ring.
Our sex life is/was always good and I liked to experiment with new techniques to please my wife. Already since more than 30 years I don’t cum if my wife doesn’t cum first.
Since my wife likes penetration and likes to give me HJ and BJ, it was not always easy for her when I was locked. Sometimes she taught I didn’t like her or that I wasn’t happy with her performances. So we talked many times on the subject and the last 4 years she locked me for 2-3 weeks with some long term intervals. But as you mention in your blog, once you tried chastity, it stays in the mind and you want to go back being locked.
Since last year both our children are out house, and so we have more time for us.
Last January my wife had the NY party at work and I was alone at home. So I put myself in strict self-bondage with a sensory deprivation hood, chastity cage eo.
I texted my wife in advance not to be scared when she came home during the night. This was not the first time I did that, but she is always afraid that an accident would happen.
That night she came home relaxed, reacted positive and again understood my needs. We made love and she came from orally, and I didn’t cum😊.
From that night I’m locked up day and night.
However, she decided to unlock me twice to make love. I stayed unlocked during the night what result in a good night sleep (*).
My wife holds the key, and the spare key is in a sealed envelope in case of emergency.
Now since last week I found your Tumblr blog and I love it. Both the point of view from you both. I couldn’t agree more.
Furthermore, it helped me to introduce my wife to keep me locked longer then before and if she agrees permanently.
Since my wife doesn’t really like to go on Tumblr, I copy-paste your Q&A in a word document so my wife could read about your lifestyle as a chastity couple and the advantage of it if we/she implemented in our marriage.
It is now 27 days that I’m locked and, I hope that it is the first 27 days of a permanent chastity, fully managed by my wife.
In the meantime, I ordered a Vixskin and harness together with a t° regulated water heater. 😊
If my wife can enjoy the Vixskin we can go for the Vixskin-X, but this is not yet available in the EU. If I order it from the US with tax and import duty this become +/- 500$
This all said I have a question for you both, but particularly for Tom.
During the day I have no issues wearing the cage, but during the night it is sometimes terrible when I get an erection, which is normal. This always result in stretching the skin below my cage ring and makes me wake up several times during the night.
Before I go to sleep, I always use anti chafe cream to allow movement for the skin in the cage, but still.
When I wake up, I can concentrate to make him soft again.
The problem is that I don’t have a good night sleep with negative results during daytime.
Any idea how I can get over this issue?
Tank you and keep up the good work.
Regards
B
Wow, there is a lot to comment on here. 😅
First I am glad that you and your wife really talk about this. Too many times we get questions or messages from men who just push this on their wives and the wife has no idea what to do with all of this. But it seems that you and your wife talk about this.
I hope that you talked to her about using the Vixskin before you ordered it. I am pretty sure there are stores over there where you can get it cheaper than ordering from the US. I'll let my husband answer the rest of this. 🔐
~
Tom here. My wife is correct; lovehoney.co.uk sells Vixskin products (and other nice items. I've been there and am happy to give a shout out).
Unfortunately, the only thing that will help you adapt to wearing the cage is to keep wearing the cage. It may take a couple of months wearing it overnight to allow your body to get used to those erections in the middle of the night.
Make sure that you use good lube around the cuff ring to keep your skin from "burning" (it's really stretching). Also, I do not know what cage you have, but one that is smaller inside, that is, a more narrow diameter, will prevent your penis from expanding. That will help.
Note that I am not recommending those nub cages. You may have to try several different designs to find one that is comfortable for you.
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ash5monster01 · 3 days
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Goes On Chapter Nine
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Pairing: Charlie Dalton x OC!FemReader
Warnings: 18+, depression, mentions of suicide, heavy topics, eventual smut, slow burn romance, fluff, gender themes/stereotypes.
Summary: Against his best efforts Charlie has to start at a new preparatory school after the tragic events that took place at Welton. The very events that led to the loss of his best friend and getting expelled in the first place. He has no plans to make friends let alone get close to anyone ever again. That is until he meets Evelyn and her interesting group of friends. No matter how hard he tries to push them away he finds it to be impossible. So he caves and in the end learns that life can still be enjoyable even if it feels like everyone is against you.
word count: 3.2k
Eight ←→ Ten
Masterlist
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Ridge Academy, NY
2/14/60
It was completely surreal, Charlie thought as him and Nate walked into the school's gym. He had heard of school dances while he was in Welton, how they would dim the lights in the gym, a live band playing music a touch too loud, and kids actually have a good time while supervised. It sounded fake to him, especially because he couldn't picture Nolan watching him as he swung some girl around the dance floor. The longer he was at Ridge the more he realized it was more like public school than private, which may explain why it was more frowned upon than others. No one would take a private school seriously if they acted so much like a public one.
Yet Charlie didn't entirely mind. It was as if he had obtained the best of both worlds and even if he ended up here through a traumatic experience at least he was finally getting a chance to do all the things he fought for. He was a Ridge Reject and for the first time since he got here, he didn't really mind. So he walked into that gym, black dress pants, white button up, and red tie, ready to take it head on, and have the best night.
"Ev killed it again" Nate states matter of fact as he eyes the decorations her and Charlie had spent all yesterday putting up. Charlie remembered it looking cheesy and out of place, but now in the dark gym and flashing lights it looked as if professionally done.
"She really loves this stuff" Charlie said and Nate nodded, eyes wide as he spotted a balloon arch and photographer to take photos of all the Ridge couples on their happy night. He knew it wouldn't be long until he had to go through them for yearbook.
"Thank God you're here!" Evelyn says practically barrelling into Charlie. He catches her arms, eyeing her quickly. "I need someone to watch the punch bowl and Violet ripped her dress and is crying. I have to help!"
She's frantic, eyes wild, and stressed. Hence why she had mellowed out so much the night before. Yet Charlie can't register her words because in front of him the girl looks more beautiful than ever. Red dress vibrant against her tan skin, shoulders on display from the low hung fabric, cinched at the waist, and ruffle skirt flared to her knees. He almost feels his kness buckle when he spots her cherry red lips and brunette hair curled to perfection.
"Wow" is all that comes out and Evelyn is quick to whack him. He snaps out of it quickly.
"Please, just watch the punch bowl and I'll be back soon" she says and Charlie nods as the girl scurries off to go and help her friend.
"You can catch flies like that, I would know" Nate says with a pat to Charlies back before going off in search of his other friends. Charlie takes a moment for his mind to get back on track before going straight to the punchbowl just as he was told. Not without grabbing some for himself in hopes to help his dry throat just from looking at the girl. This was going to be a long night.
It’s not long until he sees Evelyn scurry back into the gym, Violet behind her now wearing a smile instead of tears. Charlie feels his throat dry all over again, especially when those dazzling eyes land on him and soften when they realize he’s exactly where he’s supposed to be. For the first time since meeting Evelyn he almost isn’t sure what to say as she approaches him in that God damn red dress.
“How’d it go?” she inquires, still not catching on the way Charlie is looking at her. Charlie takes a moment to even form a response.
“Fine, I guess. I don’t understand why a punch bowl needs to be monitored anyway” Charlie says, trying desperately hard to make sure his eyes don’t travel down the neckline of her dress and to the cleavage that’s on display.
“People spike it Charlie, it’s one of the most notorious things to ever happen to a punch bowl” Evelyn tells him, shock covering her features because she somehow forgets how sheltered the boy was in that school of his.
“And you left me in charge of it? If I had known I would’ve been the one to spike it myself” Charlie says and Evelyn laughs, bright red lips a stark contrast to her perfect white teeth. He wanted to kiss her so badly. Seeing how perfect she looked he almost felt silly for even thinking he had a chance to wrap his arm around her last night.
“Of course you would have been, normally it’s Marty but based on that hangover he’s still sporting I figure he has nothing left” Evelyn tells him, eyes glancing to the boy who stood across the gym with Nate and Violet on either side of him. The boys eyes are hooded, dark circles underneath them, and his smile never completely fills his face.
“You look beautiful by the way” Charlie suddenly says, eyes stuck on the girl. He no longer cares about the dance or anything around him. His only consistent thought was about her.
“Thank you, I worried it was too much” she says, eyes searching his own. Charlie watches as she covers her mouth slightly, feeling subconscious about the makeup that matches her dress. “I figured it was a 50/50 shot I’d look good or like a tomato”
“Not a tomato at all” Charlie says, practically a whisper as he reaches forward and brushes some of her chocolate curls behind her shoulder. The off the shoulder design of the dress has Charlie’s mouth watering, thoughts of what Evelyn would sound like as he kissed his away along that expanse of skin.
Falling nervous under his stare, Evelyn realizes how distracted Charlie is as he drinks her appearance in. His behavior had changed drastically in the last few days and for the first time she was becoming nervous around him. She had been the flirt and now she wasn’t and she didn’t know what to do with herself.
“Do you have spare lipstick on you?” Charlie asks, eyes glued to the perfect pouty lips of hers. Evelyn see how he doesn’t look away and fumbles for his small purse that holds the exact tube she had used earlier.
“Here” she says, sliding it into his hand and Charlie smiles. She watches as he releases the button on the end of his sleeve and slowly pushes it up his arm.
“This is an Indian Warrior symbol for virility” he tells her, popping the cap of the lipstick and dragging it across his wrist in a zig zag pattern. “It’s supposed to drive girls crazy, I call it getting red”
“And has this getting red bit worked before?” she asks, eyes cast along the red symbol on his wrist and Charlie smiles, knowing he made her nervous.
“I don’t know, but I hope I’m going to find out” he says ducking down, whispering the response in her ear, and Evelyn nearly shudders at the suggestion of it all.
“You’re trouble Charlie Dalton” she tells the boy, fingers curling in his sleeve as she pulls it back down over the red mark and buttoning it close. “But if you wanted my lipstick on you, you should’ve just asked”
Charlie finds himself at a loss of words as she says this and turns back to the punch table as if she did not just make the most suggestive comment he has ever received in his life. He doesn’t understand how she can act so normal, smiling as she hands off a fresh cup of punch to another student. Repeating the presidents in his head and picturing Nolan in his boxers is enough to calm him down and bring him back to reality as he joins her.
“Having fun?” Laurie appears, giggles falling past her lips and arms wrapped around Eli. She wears a purple dress much different from Evelyn’s, form fitting all the way down to her knees and either she hadn’t been busted yet or already received detention.
“It sure looks like you are” Evelyn tells her, passing a cup of punch to her. It’s then Charlie realizes the girl has most likely snuck a few drinks with the boy beside her and Evelyn is trying to sober her up.
“Looking good Charles, but have you taken a look at Evelyn?” Laurie grins at the boy and Charlie chuckles.
“Thanks, and trust me. I have and she’s ethereal” Evelyn’s heart flips at the sentiment and honesty in his words. All Laurie does is crack a grin at the girl because in all the years she had known her she had never dated anyone and now the guy she finally liked, liked her back.
“You two are cute, don’t work too hard” she says before pulling Eli back off onto the dance floor and leaving the two alone again. Charlie chuckles at Evelyn’s friend, the one who always seemed to be up to no good.
Soon the punch bowl is empty and after a quick fix to an incident with the photographer, Evelyn and Charlie both finally found themselves with nothing to do. Some of the guests had already fled out but Evelyn’s friends were still on the dance floor enjoying their night. Charlie didn’t miss the forlorn look on her face, the desire to be out there with them and not in charge of anyone or anything. At least Nate had found Amy, Charlie was unsure if he actually liked her or it was distraction from Evelyn. Either way she deserved to be out there with them.
“Do you want to dance?” He asks curiously and Evelyn glances up at him, hazel eyes shining brightly in the dimly lit gym.
“We have to monitor though” she begins to defend but Charlie shakes his head, hands circling around her arms and starting to guide her away from the table.
“The punch is empty, half the student body has left, the photographer is packed up, and you’re wearing a dress that deserves a real night out” Charlie assures her, hands sliding slowly down her bare arms until his fingers interlock with her own. He’s positive he could never get sick of the way he feels when he touches her.
“Is that was you call it, a night out?” She muses and Charlie rolls his eyes.
“Yes, even if we don’t have to leave the building to go to bed tonight. Plus I’ve never been to a school dance before, I need a professional to show me” he tells her and Evelyn giggles as they finally reach the spot beside her friends.
“Do you even know how to dance?” She curiously asks and Charlie shrugs, hands settling on her waist.
“I guess you’ll find out” he tells her and Evelyn giggles just as the band starts the next song, coincidentally a slow dance, and Charlie starts to sway her like he’s done it a hundred times before.
“I’ve never danced with anyone before” Evelyn sheepishly admits, glancing at her two girlfriends who whisper to both their dates about this unusual sight they’re seeing.
“If it makes you feel better the only person I ever have was with Meeks” Charlie tells her and Evelyn giggles lightly, trying not to become nervous under his stare.
“That would have been a sight to see” she tells him and Charlie shrugs, lifting her arms lightly that were wrapped around his neck.
“It was an etiquette class we were required to take at Weston. For a week we were taught the proper way to dine, hold business conversations, and dance. We were told it the sign of an intellectual man and the best way to woo a women while finding a future wife” Charlie tells her, recalling the week where Meeks has been subjected to being his dance partner, Neil got yelled at for using the wrong fork, and Knox sneezing while practicing proper conversation with Mr. McAllister.
“What, they couldn’t find any girls to volunteer?” Evelyn curiously asked, hands subconsciously playing with the hair at the back of Charlie’s neck. The action drying out his throat.
“More than likely Nolan decided they would be better off without any female volunteers especially if I was there. I have a tendency of not keeping my mouth shut” Charlie informs her and Evelyn grins, happy to know she was finally getting to know that Charlie even though Charlie was fairly positive he would never entirely come back.
"Evelyn, come quick. The balloon arch fell and is blocking the doors" a student came rushing over before she could pry further into Charlie's past. Coming back to reality she is quick to move into business mode but before she can fully panic Charlie has grabbed her face and turned her back to him.
"I'll handle it, I'm on planning commitee too. Spend some time with your friends" he tells her and her features instantly soften towards the boy. Charlie gives her a sweet smile before going off with the student in search of the balloon arch disaster of 1960. Evelyn watches him walk away until Nate appears at her side.
"Mind if I cut in?" he asks and Evelyn smiles and nods, stepping into the boys arms as the slow song continues. Nate tries his best to not feel sad towards the situation he's in. He had dreamed of taking Evelyn to a school dance since he was thirteen and the one time he finally gets the chance her heart lies with someone else, even if she's in his arms.
"You did a wonderful job, again" Nate tells her, nodding to the decorations and party around them.
"Thanks, I can't take all the credit this time though. Charlie helped a lot even if he didn't want to be on the commitee" she says, thankful he didn't bail on her like she thought he would once he realized her club was nothing but an easy credit.
"He's a good guy, as much as I hate to admit it" Nate says, eyes casting behind Evelyn where Charlie was lifting the balloon arch, helping students secure it back onto the wall.
"He's not what I expected, that's for sure" Evelyn says, head shaking as she looked down to her shoes and Nate took a deep breath. He had waited for this girl for so many years, wasted so much time, and in the end missed his chance. Yet during all of that time he got to know her, be friends with her, and even if things weren't going to turn out the way he always hoped, at the very least she should be happy. He could learn to move on. At least he might've finally gotten his very own friend out of the deal, one he didn't make because of her. Then again, isn't she half the reason he ended up on common ground with the boy?
"You should go for it" Nate whispers and Evelyn looks back up, confusion painting her features.
"What do you mean?" she asks and Nate sighs, eyes searching her hazel ones, trying to convey how much he loved her into a single look. It would be wrong to tell her now when she had already fallen for another guy.
"Go for him Evelyn. I know you, we all do, and it's a great thing you finally found someone you connect with. He understands you and for some unknown reason you understand him. You deserve to be happy and he makes you happy. In fact he's good at the one thing I've been trying to do my whole life" Nate says and Evelyn is shocked by the words coming out of his mouth, head shaking as she tries to comprehend the words he's saying to her.
"What’s that?" she asks, trying to wrap her mind around the fact he had read her so clearly. Noticed her feelings and fears without her even coming to terms with them yet.
"Take care of you" he says and Evelyn's heart cracks just slightly. Seeing the sadness in one of her oldest friends eyes. A friend she had been close with but never let inside. In fact until Charlie she had never quite met anyone who could calm her down with a single look. Even Violet had spent years trying. It was as if her and Charlie had been cut from the same cloth and there was nothing she could do when it came to who understood her or not.
"I'm sorry Nate" she begins to mutter but he just offers a sad smile, taking a step back from her as he see's Charlie leave the now fixed balloon arch and head their way.
"Don't be, just be happy" he tells her earnestly, offering one last squeeze to her waist before letting her go literally and figurativey. He figures some part of him will always love her but at least this way she can be happy and he can learn how to be too.
Evelyn watches as Nate walks away, passing their other friends who dance together and towards a table to take a break from the night. Her mind is spiraling in a hundred different ways and she doesn't have time to process when out of nowhere Charlie's arms wrap around her waist and pulls her into his chest. His chin lands over her shoulder, hot breath fanning on her neck. She relishes in the feeling of his warm chest pressed against her back and for the first time she accepts that the somersaulting feeling in her stomach is completely normal. All because she finally liked someone in a way she imagined she never could with anyone.
"Crisis averted" he tells her and she just smiles, turning in his arms to face him, and fighting the happy tears that burn at the back of her eyes.
"Thank you" she tells him for so much more than just the balloon arch but Charlie doesn’t catch on because when the next upbeat song starts he's locked his arms around her waist and lifted her from her feet. She laughs loudly as he swings her around the dance floor, her own friends laughing before he sets her back to the ground.
"Nice moves Charles" Violet calls out, hands interlocked with Marty's, and Charlie flashes her a cocky grin.
"What, Marty doesn’t have these smooth moves?" he teases right back and Marty scoffs even though there is amusement in his eyes.
"Oh she knows all my moves" he defends, not realizing how the sentence sounds and the group laughs loudly. Marty's ears burn red as he registers what he's just said but joins in on the laughter anyway.
"It was the best first, school dance. Thank you" Charlie ducks down in a whisper and Evelyn smiles, arms coiling arund his neck and pulling him closer. She knew there was more lying underneath Charlie Dalton's surface but for the first time she knew she had all the time in the world to figure it out. For now she'd get to know him at the speed he was comfortable with and pray that maybe when she did learn it all, she got to keep him.
"Anytime Char"
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philhoffman · 9 months
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In lieu of a Monday Philm post tonight, I wanted to tell y'all about the long weekend I had in Western New York. I took a very special trip up to Phil's hometown of Rochester, NY, for a special 35mm screening of Owning Mahowny—which ended up being one of the best nights of my life. TL;DR I met his family and got to tell them how much he is loved ❤️
As some of you might know, the Eastman Museum in Rochester is now the permanent home of PSH's statue, and to celebrate, the museum's Dryden Theatre is showing his films all year long. I've been dying to see Phil's hometown and especially the statue since it was unveiled last year and finally made it (many hours and several hundred miles in the rain) up to WNY for a couple days. Y'all I can't even tell you how excited I was just to be in Rochester, like geeking over everything. We visited Fairport, where Phil grew up, and went to a restaurant with a burger named after him (yum), and got his fave kind of donuts at the Wegmans where he worked as a cashier in high school (I told you, geeking HARD). It's such a nice, friendly city and so many little things about Phil clicked just being there.
We went to the Eastman Museum first thing Saturday morning to see his statue and it's so perfect. Yes I cried a little bit as soon as I walked up to it! I don't need to tell y'all how much Phil means to me and finally seeing this public tribute to him, which looks so good and is so approachable and huggable and real and lovely, was amazing. Passed it four times going in and out of the museum and made my mom take my photo with him every time :-)
That night was the 35mm screening of Owning Mahowny. Already one of my favorite PSH films, I recently finished the book it's based on—No Limit: The Incredible Obsession of Brian Molony by Gary Ross—which is just as engrossing and made me even more excited to rewatch the film on the big screen. We were the first people to the theater bc I was so anxious to be there lmao.
I recognized Phil's mother, Marilyn, and his older sister, Jill, who arrived about 20 minutes before the film and sat a few seats away. My anxiety was through the ROOF—I am very shy in person, but I knew I'd regret it if I didn't say anything and since this was a PSH-related event I figured they probably wouldn't mind if I brought him up. Thanks to Phil I have a hundred times more confidence than I did just a few years ago, so I worked up my courage and went over to introduce myself, tell them my name and how far I came just to see the statue and the film, how much I admire Phil and his work.
Y'all I'm tearing up again just typing this because they were the nicest people I have ever met in my life, seriously. His mom and his sister were immediately so kind that my nerves melted away, it was like talking to friends. They were touched that I'd come so far, they thanked ME for coming over to say hello. I shook their hands and we had a whole conversation for several minutes—I got to tell them that Phil changed my life, how I've seen all of his films, the ways he's inspired me to make my own art. I can't even believe I am writing this because it was so surreal and incredible. They asked me so much about my trip and myself, which is cute because I've heard so many stories about how Phil always asked people about themselves, their lives, their families, their work. His mom asked if I'd seen the statue (of course!!!) and told me to make sure I took a selfie with him :''''') so obviously I took another one when we left <3
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Jill and I talked about Owning Mahowny and gambling while my mom talked to Phil's mom (like how is it even real that I'm saying that?), then Marilyn told a funny, sweet story about when Phil was filming Mahowny in Toronto in 2002. One day he called and asked to come home for a while, then drove down and spent the day with her watching hours of dailies of the same exact shot, scrutinizing each take and laboriously trying to decide on the best one—and his mom was like, "Phil, what are we searching for, these all look the same to me" LMAO 😭
The film itself was obviously amazing, no need for a full review here. Equally wonderful to share it with a big audience laughing, cringing, gasping, crying, smiling. The 35mm print looked beautiful. As we were leaving, Phil's sister made a point to catch my eye and thank me again for stopping to say hello! We said goodbye to her and Marilyn and they wished us a great rest of our trip to Niagara Falls the next day—it was so sweet they remembered I'd even mentioned it.
I hardly slept that night I was so excited lol. It's been two days and it still feels surreal. I'm repeating myself but I can't get over how warm and kind they both were, how we were all kind of moved almost to the point of tears talking about their beautiful son and brother, my hero, the artist and man who saved my life and brought us all together. I'm so so so grateful for the opportunity to tell them what Phil means to me. Since then I've had a million thoughts like "oh I wish I'd said this or that," but really it would be impossible to sum up in words, even if we had all the time in the world, everything I want to say. I said it before but it's easy to understand how Phil turned out to be such an amazing person, coming from a family like that.
One of the simplest yet most meaningful couple of days in my whole life. It was better than I could've hoped for. Mostly joy—and while there was some grieving and missing him, too, I know it all came from love. I feel closer to Phil than ever. Thank you for making me feel so welcome in your home, Phil. Words are never enough but I love you so much, we're all so proud of you.
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