#Well shit my life is an asshole

[hecksupremechips]

Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩

#the klock keeps ticking #yttd #i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks #but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD #i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin #i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr #first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with #all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying #and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so #good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all #like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad #he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP #and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just #being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how #well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler #and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end #and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts #cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish #but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like #the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries #and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer #and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive #and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori #and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent #and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse #he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA #im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad #and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof #I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN #have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes

[cluescorner]

Some people: Kaeya’s bio father is an abusive monster who abandoned his son in order to achieve his own selfish goals. He is an evil man who deserves everything awful that might happen to him. 

Other people: Kaeya’s bio father did the right thing and leaving Kaeya in Mondstadt was the only way to give him a halfway-decent life. He is a better father than he is given credit for and should not be as hated as he is. 

Me: Kaeya’s bio father is integral to the general ‘war is hell and bad choices can reverberate across time’ thing that Genshin seems to be going for. He made unethical choices, but mostly because the ONLY OPTIONS HE HAD WERE UNETHICAL. If our understanding of the Alberich’s role in Khaenri’ah is accurate, General Alberich (my name for him until stated otherwise) was suddenly in charge of a hopeless and dead kingdom which begged to be saved. Assuming that there was a reason Kaeya specifically was chosen for this mission, General Alberich was forced into a position where he needed to choose between the lives/future of every Khaenri’an vs the life and future of his young son. Abandoning either is an awful thing to do and a horrible decision, but the bad decisions of Celestia and Rhinedottir have led to a scenario where General Alberich can only make bad decisions. In the end, he chose to prioritize his people and made his young son into a spy. We do not know the process for this, but knowing how much Hoyoverse loves to torment people (especially Khaenri’ans) we can assume that this process was horrific for Kaeya and could definitely be considered abuse. General Alberich is effectively making his son into a child soldier for a war that the majority of people never wanted or asked for, and one Kaeya was likely far too young to understand. At least, until he was forced to grow up far too quickly in order to fulfill his duty. General Alberich likely loathed everything about what was happening and even in his last moments with his son he asks for forgiveness. He knows that what he is doing is wrong, but to turn back now is to both abandon his subjects and make everything that happened to Kaeya in order to turn him into a child spy be for nothing. So yeah, General Alberich is a terrible person who made horrible choices. But war and the bad actions of others have created a situation where he has nothing BUT horrible choices and where being a terrible person is the only thing he can be. And that’s without considering how the curse/abyssal corruption could impact the scenario. 

#idk #I just think that Kaeya's father is kinda an Asgore situation #where the only decisions he could possibly make were awful and unethical ones but choosing neither would create an even worse outcome #also I want to clarify that both of the other interpretations that I parroted before giving my own thoughts are valid #because we are working with such limited information and yeah no shit people are gonna have differing thoughts #people have differing beliefs and perspectives on things which are CANONICALLY CONFIRMED to be clear situations with lots of info about it #so of course people are going to go in like 80 different directions with his character #BECAUSE WE HAVE NEXT TO NOTHING TO GO OFF OF #and basically every interpretation of him I've seen is pretty reasonable #Like yeah man's son is a child spy who was abandoned in a far away country for the purpose of being a spy for Khaenri'ah's interests #thinking that he was an abusive asshole isn't exactly unreasonable #nor is it unreasonable to believe that he was actually a decent man who left his son in Mondstadt as the 'only hope' of Khaenri'ah #because he just wanted Kaeya to live on and have a life outside of the Abyss #and Kaeya was mistaken when he thought he was simply being left behind as a pawn #Genshin is no stranger to unreliable narrators and this wouldn't be the first time a character story wildly mischaracterizes something #so like...both of those interpretations are valid #and pretty fair ones as well #But I think that it really is like an Asgore situation where yeah this guy sucks and he is an awful person who made so many bad choices #But also was left with nothing BUT bad choices through war and grief and other factors that were genuinely outside of his control #Sacrifice your son's childhood and happiness by forcing him to be a child spy and abandoning him in the middle of a deadly storm #or let your people (including yourself) rot away into nothingness while facing a fate worse than death while they all but scream to be saved #there are no good options #kaeya's father #don't take this too seriously I just really liked Undertale when I was younger and I'm getting Asgore vibes from General Alberich

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

Here are the issues I have with the book. Since it's a lot, I'll try to keep it as short as possible and only mention my biggest problems with it. So this list is not complete and I could write pages about it.

Let me start by saying that a good autobiography (or any book that highlights a real life person) should be balanced. It should not glorify that person or pretend that person is a god and without mistakes. I also have no problem with critizing Ze, because, let's face it, yes he made mistakes and fucked things up in the past and not every war decision or speech or whatever was good or perfect. The point is: the critique should be fair and balanced (this obviously doesn't apply to bad people in general and the books about them; but since Ze isn't a bad person...you get what I want to say). The portrayal of Ze in the book is anything but fair or balanced. Or true, for that matter (unless literally every person in Ze's life and who knows him better, including the Kvartal fam, Olena, Andriy or people like them, have been lying to everyone for decades).

Throughout the whole book Shuster does say that Ze is Ukrainian (and Jewish) but also always tries to paint him as an "Ukrainian Russian" - so Ze is actually Russian despite being a "Ukrainian" (basically using one of Russia's Propaganda lies). Ze is basically a stubborn "Ukrainian" who kind of deserves all the hate and arrogance he gets from "real Russians" during KVN times (and later) because Ze is an insufferable asshole during his KVN times. And that Russian treated Ukrainian (or from other former Soviet Union countries) teams badly (including racist remarks, looking down on them, treating them like slaves, insulting them, not giving them a fair chance,...) teams awfully is, in Ze's case, deserved. Because Ze was oh so focused on always winning - no matter what and the cost.

Speaking of KVN: According to Shuster, Ze was terrible as a person during his first years of stardom. A maniac who only lived for applause and needs it to survive and was willing to do absolutely everything to win and beat other teams. Because, you know, he's so obsessed with winning. To a point were even he gives a flying fuck about the Kvartal team and their members (Shuster basically hints that they all disliked Ze and he was some kind of group dictator who only wanted to work and win all the time and was reckless and took to many risks and almost destroyed everyones lifes). When Shuster finds something positive to write about, he quotes people from Kvartal but what he quotes are just general statements or people saying what KVN was like during the 1990s and early 2000s. The moment Shuster writes about Ze and was he (allegedly) like during this time it's almost only "team members" and "people who knem him" and "classmates" and all that stuff - so anon sources. Or it's just Shuster telling stuff without saying what his source is or him just have feelings and thoughts and drawing conclusions. If people get named they - surprise, surprise - have a lot of times bad things to say about Ze or are people who we never ever have heard of as being part of Ze's life. Btw, it's not very hard to guess who the "team member", who talked the KVN years and adds a lot of negative talk about Ze, is... . Denys (yes, THAT Denys) contributed to the book with pictures, so chances are high he also talked to Shuster. If you ever wondered if the asshole would ever get over the fact that he fucked up and Ze kicked his ass out of the group - well, the answer is no. He now just tries to cash in on Ze. And since we are talking about Denys' obvious contribution to the book - he, once again, gave out private photos. How much we all wanna bet that he, once again, didn't ask for consent?!

Shuster also tries to paint Ze's family in a bad light. The father a tyrann who sacrified his wife's (Mama Ze) health for his job and money. Also rarely being at home and giving a fuck about his son and family. Mama Ze spoiling her child and making him entitled. Both to unloving and hard and more or less making Ze's life a living hell. Also that Ze's family was suddenly rich. Not to mention indirectly questioning the trauma his family had to go through (and Ze talked about in the past) under Stalin and the Nazis and family members that are suddenly alive (despite Ze stating in the past that they were dead). Also, Shuster sees in the childhood and family of Ze a part of the explanation why Ze is such a horrible person today, to stubborn to just give up and end the fight (and all that nonsense) and won't win this war. Because the parents put Ze in all kind of activities without him finishing any of it but letting him believe he can do everything and always demanding excellent perfomance in every aspect of his life (to keep it short). So of cooourse Ze had to grow up into a maniac who can't loose and always continues despite what people may tell him and who needs the constant validation and love from others.

There are also a ton of negative remarks about Ze as father and husband in regard of his own family. Not to mentiont hat a ton of informations are factually not correct. Things like birth dates or dates in general, how and where Ze's family lived (missing important context several times), Ze basically being as awful as his father, Ze not giving a fuck about his families safety during the war (Olena was the voice of reason who protects the poor, poor children because their father just wants them back for egoistic reasons and doesn't care about their safety) or not seeing anything concerning about his sons military obsession and instead fueling it (again, it's the poor poor wife who has to protect the son from the awful father), Ze giving zero fucks about his relationship with Olena right from the start and that poor, poor, poor woman always staying behind and having to go through hell and hate because of Ze's maniac ambitions and facing an unsave future in the early 2000s because Ze was so full of himself and had the biggest ego,... . (reading several parts you would think that this "poor, poor woman" is trapped in some abuse situation or Ze somehow tied her to himself and the whole marriage is fake and there is no love) (also Olena simultaniously romantizing things and her life and Ukraine but also being the only who who sees the truth about Ze or several parts of their lives but, of course, can't tell her terrible husband because bad, bad Ze) Also Shuster indirectly claiming that Ze and Olena lied about their relationship and they didn't date for eight years but for a shorter period of time. Because suddenly Olena also was a part of KVN long before Ze (???) and was essentially just his work buddy and friend for a while and somehow and for whatever reason they ended up in a relationship one day. (Also prepare yourself to read about a new version of the "Basic Instinct" story we never have heard before...and Ze and Olena never said.)

Btw, the way Ze is portrayed during his KVN years is essentially with little variation how he's portrayed in later stages of his life. Including his presidency and the war (I'm not going to write several more paragraphes because I think you get the picture Shuster tries to paint of Ze).

Only one thing about Ze's war portrayal: Shuster swings back and forth between Ze as wanna be dictator who will turn Ukraine into something bad as soon as the war is over (and is already starting with that) and who already makes his own rules and gives zero fucks about people and is only interested in his own fame and people applauding him and all that stuff. And Ze being the worst President ever because the war and the current state of Ukraine (which is, of course, very bad and they are about to collapse and loose and big Russia and winning and blablabla) are somehow also his fault. Yes, Shuster really manages to make Ze (and with that Ukraine) partly guilty.

Throughout the whole book he also, sometimes more obvious sometimes hidden, Shuster portrays Ukraine in the worst way possible. He does mention how "bad" Russia is but somehow justifying it several times or leaving out important facts and, once again, context. Also the portrayal of Putin, especially in comparsion with how he writes about Ze, is a joke.

Oh, and, the "inside look in the bunker" life Shuster used for his marketing campaign and that the claim of the book - yeah, bullshit. It's nothing now and anon and all that stuff. Also, once again, portraying Ze in a bad light. Like, yeah, the first weeks of war affected him but to such a worrying point (according to Shuster) that Ze was actually unfit to rule any longer as President but continued (because, you know, he loves power sooo much...). And now he's the mini dictator of Bankova who is always grumpy and changed into a (an even more) awful person and... .

What can I say at the end?! As mentioned earlier, the book has a ton of fake news and wrong facts. It's incredibly poorly researched - if sources exist at all. A lot of times it's Shuster just sharing his feelings or thougths or conclusions or interpretations or whatever. Or just saying things without context. Or writing stuff without giving sources. And to be honest, in some parts it also feels like that Shuster just made stuff up.

If you have no idea about Ze and his life or know very little - that's not the book to get informed. If you know a bit more about Ze, you will surprisingly often feel that certain parts of "exclusive interviews" or "when I talked with XYZ" are strangely familiar...with interviews we all know from Ze's (and several other people) past...because it is these interviews. Just a lot of times missing context, shortening what was said, adding stuff or giving it a new meaning.

Speaking of using old stuff: Shuster also really used his old articles to include them in the book...to a point where it's basically almost word for word.

Overall, the book is in large parts poorly written (so poorly that you wonder how he became a TIME journalist in the first place).

In the end, you probably haven't learned anything new or interesting about Ze, his life, the war or Ukraine. When we talk about Ze, I may have read one, maybe two new things I haven't read before (but questioning both of them and will do research if they are true or just made up by Shuster). It's over 300 sites of wasted paper and ink. I know articles who did a better job than this "book". It's a waste of time and money. And in the end it's a Pro-Russia Propaganda book, trying to undermine the support for Ukraine and hurt Ze and his image (as well as Ukraine's). Shuster tries to be subtle at his try to do this but he isn't not. He tries to come off as critical thinker who wants to portray a balanced picture of Ze and also writes about the sides no one dares to talk about. But nothing about this is balanced. It's just 300+ sites of trashing Ze and backstabbing him and using every possible way. Same applies to Ukraine.

.

#thanks anon!!! #HOLY FUCKING SHIT #😱😨😰 #im actually so shocked right now #if this is really the book than this is basically shuster trying to destruct ze and ukraine #ze and olena as well as his kvartal fam probably have better things to do right now but if this book has that many false informations... #...i hope someone at some point starts a law suit #im so shocked about what i just read #i didnt expect much from the book since shuster changed so many things about it #and my expectations were almost zero after his latest articles #but thats...something... #denys being part of that?! i probably should be shocked but after the le monde (?) thing im not really... #also read online that people think people close to poroshenko or other political opponents of ze as well as ares-asshole and people like... #...that are shusters sources #i agree with anon that a “balanced” look at a person is always good in suck a book #but also agree with anon that there is nothing balancing if that is zes portrayal #also agree with anon if this is zes portrayal than something really doesnt match up with what his friends family olena and people close... #...to him of from his life said about him since forever #i think its also highly suspicious that before all that (or presidency if you want to go further back) no one could say a bad word about hi #quite the contrary actually #but suddenly everyone thinks badly about him and hates him and ze is such an awful person and all that stuff #and using already existing interviews and his articles and pretend its exlucive and said it to him and its something new???? thats very wil

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

I don't not mean this offensively at all but is blows my mind that you are a lawyer but also writing jjk fics bc I work at a law firm and cannot for the life of me imagine any of the lawyers that work there writing fanfiction LOL kudos to u seriously I know how busy schedues can get due to court dates haha

im working in like. big city criminal law stuff right now and have been told by people in my office that i come off as a very deadpan and straight-laced legal nerd so i don't think the people who know me from my attorney life are imagining me writing jjk fanfic in my free time either

#I've got a friend who's clerking for a federal judge rn who's also a big fandom person tho she doesn't write #the legal sphere in general really does try to consume your entire life and i sort of hate that part of the business #like i like being a lawyer but i don't like how aggressively it tries to occupy your whole life #it makes offices very cultish #i like having boundaries in life and i have plenty of friends in my office but like. i have a life outside of it too that i want to keep. #and lawyers are so up their own ass about professional reputation that fandom shit is almost never discussed in a legal environment #you could not waterboard it out of me that I write fanfic for fun at work oh my god #it's not that i'm ashamed of it to be clear i'm proud of my stories i just don't know any of them well enough to trust them yet #lawyers are assholes so often holy shit #like not all of us. some of the nicest people i have ever met are lawyers. but the culture breeds a lot of very big and fragile egos #probably more lawyers than you'd think are into fandom stuff but they absolutely do not bring that shit up #i'd like to think i'll be doing fanfic and fandom stuff for years. it's just a great community and i really really love doing it. #i'm also a kick ass lawyer tho so i'm probably gonna be doing some pretty serious shit at work and just also being a fanfic writer. #but yeah court is exhausting and chaotic and i've been in it every day for like two weeks now so feel free to shoot me

[teleomancer]

.

#so it's Infect Your Friends And Loved Ones with the bit about 'everyone around here knows about you' #even if it's positive- the world pays so much more fucking attention to my life for being trans and it makes me.. shiver? #coffee clerk fumbled every facet of taking my order and the apology landed super duper sideways #'oh sorry! it's just that it's my first time helping *you* is all- just seen you around a lot before. you know.' yeah? know what exactly? #how's that supposed to make me feel? every month they hire someone new and we get to do the same tiring song and dance #another young-20s clerk that will not stop trying to make small talk w/me beats ones that only glare yeah- this isn't pain just frustration #and like YES it's better than the cashier that beats the shit out of my beers on purpose or crumples receipts to hand them to me #or the audible 'see- told you he's a man' commentary when he can see stubble behind a mask on days that can't bother me to shave #like the pharmacists at this supermarket make me well aware that nobody else gets their E here. the store knows the local tranny. great. #genpop cannot reliably be fucking Normal Abt Transfems to the point that it makes me wanna thank the rare coworker that just like. #doesn't treat me like anyone different or special or a threat or a curiosity or an object or a shot to gain social capital for being nice? #getting told by young-20s cis girls that calling me dude didn't mean anything b/c they're 'y'know! *also* [limp wrist mime] *girlypop!*' #hits closer to home than getting called a slur to my face because the latter asshole doesn't pretend to be my friend and just. #skips straight to making me a paper doll in their head of what it means to be me and shaped like me and dressed like me and it's.. slimy. #'everyone around here knows about you.'

[azuresquirrel]

the fact that we're a year out from a major election year in the United States and instead of encouraging people to vote for their local and state elections I'm already seeing Dems on socials lecturing about "not expecting perfection" and "lesser of two evils" during a time where there is widespread objection to Biden and crew literally funding and supporting Israel's genocide of Gaza is just

ah yes, damn youths and their inability to compromise on silly non-issues of *checks notes* actively supporting and financing genocide

#ffs I bought into 'voting as harm reduction' for much of my adult life #but when one guy will participate Just As Much in the federal project of military colonialism #then what is the meaningful difference! just because one will be more polite on Twitter!! #like truly if participating in active ongoing genocides (Congo as well!) isn't your moral red line then WHAT IS #what DO you stand for then???? #'oh these idiot gen z-ers daring to demand ANYTHING better' #well its not just Gen Z that thinks if we keep voting for these assholes then they WON'T change shit! #right now is when we SHOULD be making the threats to not fucking vote because its all these ghouls care about #I'm not going to endure a whole year of this shit in between photos of dead and injured Palestinians christ

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

reading is crazy there will be a guy who is so fucking annoying and needs to get punched in the face so bad because he deserves it and worse. and he’s your special little guy 🙄

#and if i knew him in real life. well unfortunately i would still love him. i’ve got bad taste like that #if we were in high school together i’d be seated next to him in english class as the smart girl troublemaker boy classic pairing teachers #loveee to do. and i would be compelled to help him with everything because i would have a respect for his asshole energy #and naturally i would be rolling my eyes at shit he says every day also #but when it comes down to it we’d be cool…. #🍀

[orcelito]

I've been following that AITA blog for a bit now and it has me thinking about my own life situations with conflict and drama. A passive "do I have anything I could submit to that blog?" But upon thinking about it, it's like... I really find no value in asking strangers whether I'm "the asshole" in situations. There are situations where I'm clearly not at fault, situations where I was a little shit but it was justified, and at least one situation where I have a definite "Oh yeah, I was definitely the asshole there". All in the past, so it's not like I'd even need advice or anything. I already know, so what's the point?

Maybe it stems from me being a generally self-aware and self-confident kind of person. I know what's going on with myself, know when I've wronged people, & I have a mentality of "well, I'll try to not do that in the future." Even if I feel a little guilty thinking back, what's the point of asking after something when I know I'm at fault? Or situations where things were complicated and both people had fault in things, but I know I wasn't being shitty on purpose & that's what matters to me. Ultimately, it results in a bunch of strangers drawing conclusions about things I really don't care about outside input on.

Still love reading the blog tho. There's something about reading up on random people's life drama that satisfies that gossipmonger soul in me So well.

#speculation nation #i think the most blatantly YTA thing id get is when i ghosted that guy i was seeing back when i was 20 or so #wasnt ever actually dating but i made it sound like i would. very much led him on. #then realized i just wasnt into cishet guys At All and dropped him out of nowhere bc i was 20 and didnt know how to deal with feelings #objectively it was a pretty awful thing for me to do. and i feel bad that i did it. #have i ever tried to reach out and apologize tho? no lmao #it happened so long ago now i feel like itd bring more animosity than relief anyways. #id like to think ive learned from it tho. Dont Date People Just For The Hell Of It. #god it rly is my romantic history where im the biggest asshole. my prior girlfriend too #i do feel bad about that. i never meant to hurt her but that sure is what i did. #it was better to break it off when i did. wouldve been better had i did it earlier but oh well. #then as a teenager and my whole fucked up romance life then... #but NO LONGER!!!!!!!! hopefully lol. im rly into my current girlfriend and after my last one ive been dedicated to. not do that again. #cant date people just because im bored. that's never ended well for me. #i learned my lesson this time for SURE!!!!! #anyways yea id say more constently id be The Asshole in these situations. but im only human man it happens. #other situations it's usually just fucked up situations with me being a toxic little shit in response bc it's all i knew. #idk. community voting doesnt matter to me. learning from my prior mistakes and shortcomings is what matters to me. #it's interesting to see the blog tho. people are insecure about some of the most trivial things sometimes...

[faesystem]

the thing about the tulpamancy debate that really fucks with me is that not only is the cultural appropriation racist, but the defending it is also fucking racist. passively racist isnt a good way to describe being appropative, but im drunk and it's the best description i have. but they were doing it without maybe ever having heard that hey, fuck that. then, after hearing it, they decided to not just keep doing it, but defend it in the most racist ways possible.

cultural appropriation already fucking sucks and is already racist, but people are actively doing their best to be even more racist on top of being a tulpamancer/supporting it

reminder to not listen to my white ass on topics of cultural appropriation. im not what matters here, im just drunkenly throwing shit out there. if you arent listening to the actual people effected by racism then fuck you.

#mod ? (he/him) #for the record my personal syscourse stance is fuck you. fuck off. i dont care #if youre willogenic or creating headmates cool. dont care. have at it. live your best life #if youre an asshole to people who arent doing shit to hurt anyone fuck off #if youre being racist Fuck. You. #syscourse #its probably ashton fronting but i already but the ? tag there and csnt be fucked to change it #which ashton? well never knoe #alcohol #alcohol tw #might delete later

[thecherrygod]

thinking about hdb while holding my head in my hands and suffering

#my posts #i cant fully articulate this #idk if i have the time either #but. help. i will tag this with my organization tags. i may see this at some other time and maybe ill be able to so #disco elysium #hdb #im just thinking about him and martinaise harry and his childhood and the 15th indotribe thing and dora #how probably considering the type of friends he had and how they all ended..... they were probably all like him personality wise #like. im not saying they were bad people like harry was kind of an asshole but not fully #like they were all a bunch of teens in a bad situation trying to make the best of it however they can and well... didnt work out too well #but what i mean is that i think thats partially why he got that level of attached to dora? she didnt go through what he did #she had the money to not go through that she was stable she was a constant in his life that was pure and that wasnt always #going through something. a guide. harry went to her like a moth to a fire with pure devotion bc she was everything he never had #she probably also treated him different than what all his previous friends would have. i imagine her to be very gentle #and harry probably never got to know too much about people being soft so that was also. new. but somethign imposible to him #so i can see how he would love her like that to the point of basically worshipping her as god and how he would still love her #years after it went to shit even when he cant remember anything. it makes sense #i think they were engaged bc the wedding gown but idk if its said in game. but he loved her enough to want to marry her in a world #where real love isnt possible for him but only for new people in a new world he still wanted that with her even if it didnt work out #he holds to whatever he can of her as a lifeline and i. man. dude. yeah no i get him #idk how long they were together but it also doesnt matter bc of how harry is as a person #also of course at first it was all good. she was basically fixing him but he cant get fixed only with love in a world like that! #or with a life like his... it was always going to go down. and i. dude #... i am thinking about this as someone who still loves someone and we werent even dating like #i think if we dated and it went bad like. i think id be in a similar situation to harry tbh. i get him #yeah no yeah lmao i do think of this person also sort of as the only good thing in my life #and i am glad she did reject me when i confessed bc if i had fully lost her i dont know where id be? but also man its been 7 years #of the rejection and basically 10 of falling for her. i get harry so fucking badly on this one USHDGIUHUSG #ok in the end i did say what i had to say but in the tags i dont think ill make a proper post out of it #but i did write it in a way that wasnt articulated for a post so i think i was right making it like this lmao

[nestea-tang]

isnt she charming

#helluva boss #*traumatized #wowee she us totally quite unexpected here like seriously like before this shit every fan arts if Stella as a kid would be descrubed #being quiet or tranatized or sad or friendly like looks and personality #its like andrealphus has stolen Stella attention #like ive seen those ALOT on Twitter especially to acher(twitter)and owlenne(Twitter or deviant art whatever) no offence #and now ep 1 season 2 is now finally here and this us what viv really described Stella as a kid.. #oh #she literally turns out to be evil as hell well thats great cuz I felt there's literally smth wrong with fan arts abt Stella as a kid #like if shes this sad or quiet or nice looking then how could she led herself into an unsuceed marriage and a shitty life #with an asshole bitch like behavior and doesnt even deserve to even get liked by others and now this explains everything #ok ok its not like I hate it ok its just that it literally makes sense now to me why she's like that and being a naughty child the #whole time #look ok this this aren't literally meant for hating on Stella or mentioned artists here just trying to make a point here pls #but it's JUST my opinions abt her ok but not always it might be smth else quite devastating so well see

[letgomaggie]

i have the worst feeling about this episode of BMF but i must watch so fingers crossed it does not mess up the growth we have seen kawi undergo 

#be my favorite #i really do not like Not and gang #like #truly bad vibes #and i get that kawi wants to fit in and do better in life #but god he's 30 atleast mentally #he should understand how those guys are #and he also knows their futures and clearly! they are assholes in it #so like i don't get it #is he being like this on purpose #or is the show hinting at something on a deeper level #because his friendship with max is also something im looking at #max thinks kawi is averse to being seen as queer at the very least #but kawi says it was because he's been going through shit and it all piled up #i like the honest conversation they had #but i hope we continue to see more of them #because kawi does need more people in his life than just pisaeng #anyways i want to write a minsung fic based off this show's plotline if it goes well enough #Be My Favorite spoilers #kawi x pisaeng

[dingusships]

bigass vent over general life things

things in general are really not great i don't really have any optimism for the future or making a life for myself. like i don't really have any drive or ambition to look forward or work towards anything good/meaningful because as time goes on there are going to be really bad life events that i just don't think i can keep facing anymore. and theyre going to be worse. i'm just dragging along life solely on the basis that i was plopped here to just Exist and that's my task at hand that i'm reluctantly upholding. just exist until it's over

#when i say 'i'm 25' 'i'm going to be 26' it does not feel right coming out of my mouth. i do not feel just 25 or 26 i feel far far older #mentally and physically #when i'm around other people my age i just feel on a completely different plane of experience from everyone else #idk. i've always been a naturally anxious and socially stunted person & def have some kind of lingering trauma that keeps me from connectin #w people. but also having no family members or relatives anywhere near my age (~17 yrs older than me at the least) while i was growning up #probably did something to me as well. my entire life has just been witnessing family members decline and die like dominoes over the course #of 25 years. like i know all about end of life care and legal paperwork and shit like that. i know what grief is like and #seeing how it affects people. i know the stages of dread and worry and numbness & guilt-ridden relief that comes with being terrified 24/7 #for an ailing family member over the course of years. knowing what it's like to grieve people who arent dead yet but you know it's coming #and then when the inevitable happens it's horrible. but also you're so exhausted from the strain that you're mostly numb. and then you feel #a sense of relief that the worst is over they're not suffering anymore you don't have to dread it anymore. which obviously makes you #question if you're some kind of deranged asshole for feeling that way. idk #25 for me has been a very eye-opening age where i'm fully realizing how fast time passes. i thought i was at around 18-20 but i was really #just first becoming aware of it. #i know how to view the world from that lens bc that's all i know. i only see life as a preparation for the end #instead of a beginning. or at least see it as a beginning at this current point in my life #covid/lockdown has definitely been a source of mental drain on me as well. the constant fear and paranoia of getting sick AND what sort of #long term consequences i could have due to getting it twice. and what i could have if i get it more than twice #add that with the general social and political climate right now and it's just...so very bleak. home life is bleak & outside world is bleak #vent

[koishua]

"wow you're handling this so maturely!" no ma'am i am just the eldest child of four in an asian household 😭😭

#tp #recently i have been getting more and more annoyed with everyone crying over stuff bc like #ugh. im so annoyed. like why do YOU get to cry when you are upset?? suck it up woman the world doesnt have to deal with your feelings?? #idk it's pretty insensitive of me maybe but it just ticks me off #literally makes me want to tear my already falling hair out #whatever #my sympathy skills have significantly deteriorated from the age of 9 💀💀 #i cant tolerate crying and complaining from those my age or adults for the life of me #it gets my blood boiling #go cry in the bathroom or sth istg #like genuinely i wanna sucker punch them in the gut whenever they start to sniffle omfl #the urge to slap the shit out of people for being babies like who CARES if you feel unappreciated or if your mom doesnt love you #it's not the time for this 🥴🥴 'get up and stop whining' is what i want to tell them but i dont #because that would make me the asshole #instead i have to 'comfort' them and make them feel better smfh #im growing up to be such a model human 😔😔 #gotta get this resentment sorted out lol #is this post considered a trauma dump? mayhapz. #oh well. im just gonna rage clean #adieu #oh my GOD THE MORE I THINK ABOUT THEM THE MORE I WANT TO SCREAM????? #talking to a therapist? 50€ an hour. ranting on the dash? free.99!! #i feel so embarrassed for thinking and feeling this way but i cant help it lmfao

[revvywevvy]

yknow i've mentioned before that chelly is very capable of being violent and explosive. however the most ever angry i've ever drawn her is mildly upset. plus there was the memey-ish thing with chelly literally begging chip to let her bite maim kill people for him.

i kinda wanna draw chelly completely snapping. chelly getting a little too silly.

#cell screams #cw vent #//<- just incase lol #//fun fact that horse toon ive mentioned a few times? sam bucus? yeah he's based on my actual childhood bully #//this might start looking like a vent from here-on and will get violent so little warning if you keep reading these tags #//but yeah since my actual bully ruined my childhood and social development and never apologized i feel a lot of hatred as u can see. #//and since actually getting revenge on the real guy is both illegal and a total waste of my time im just going to take out said rage #//on the toon version of said guy. is that deranged? maybe. at least im self aware about it idk lol #//i am very close to just drawing chelly killing bucus or something idfk. #//but i am not wasting time trying to hunt down some asshole brat who definitely played a big part in me being so fucked up today #//bc like. he had a chance to apologize senior year. then when a friend told him to apologize he fuckin vanishes into thin air never to be #//seen again until graduation night. so in my opinion i think he didnt regret anything and wasnt sorry. #//which sucks bc in my traumatized rage i definitely said some fucked up shit to him too as a kid and would've apologized as well. #//but there was a chance for closure. i tried to find him too to try and get that closure but no. there never will be closure. its over now #//so instead im going to unleash a teeny tiny portion of my bottled up decades long rage and hatred #//on an anthropomorphic purple horse. :) #//besides sam bucus did more fucked up things to chelly than my irl bully since bucus is a culmination of EVERYTHING thats #//fucked me up in life whether it be mental machinations; intrusive thoughts or things that actually happened #//so while perhaps my real bully doesnt deserve death; SAM BUCUS SURE DOES AND HE'S GONNA GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #// :) #//sorry for my violent rambling i got it out of my system now thanks for reading my weird bullshit lmao

[oglegoggle]

It bothers me when folks insist that there are literally no good reasons to surrender pets because it destroys their hearts. Like…. My dude…. That evil fuckin cat that slashed my literal eyeball should be surrendered. I found new homes for my three cats because I couldn’t take having multiple panic attacks triggered every single fucking day because they’ve got claws and I’ve got a new dose of fresh PTSD caused by that demon slashing my eye. I still can’t sleep well because of the nightmares about it. The pain and the blood and the temp blindness in that eye and the extreme fear. It’s been months. My life was fucking destroyed and my love of cats ripped from my soul. But I’m the villain? No. Needs drastically change sometimes and it sucks for everyone involved. It wasn’t good for me having cats around. It wasn’t good for my cats to have their only human destabilized and constantly rejecting their affection. They’ve got a new home where all three miraculously got to stay together and are dearly loved again as they deserve to be.

#this is goggles #he didn’t want to surrender her because nobody will adopt a black cat with hardcore behavioral issues that put someone in the ER #and she would likely be put down #yanno the way humans have been dealing with and selectively breeding their domestic animals for literal millennia #but he’s an asshole with behavioral issues himself and doesn’t give a flying fuck about others #lmfao one of his friends told me they think he should honestly be institutionalized for his myriad of out of control behavioral issues #he needs a parent more than a partner but he still continues to date and expect those he dates to baby him #but then is upset when people don’t want to deal with him because he acts like a literal spoiled child #his friends are growing fed up with his shit after seeing how he treated me and that’s so fucking funny to me #good honestly I hope he drives off everyone around him and is left with just himself #in his nasty piss and shit filled dirty laundry nest he calls a home #he reminds me so much of a guy I used to play D&D with who did the exact same shit and was mooching off his dad well into his 60s #and would throw pissbaby fits whenever he wasn’t the center of attention or if anyone told him off for acting like a child #still complains about how awful his two years of marriage 30 years prior were because his ex-wife would constantly nag him to clean up #I was so patient with my ex because I saw a lot of the ways my own behavior was influenced by AuDHD and fucked up and I actually fixed them #I fixed those flaws and now I live in a BH&G levels of clean home I’m on track for a good career #my life transformed while I was with him but his did not and now that I ain’t dealing with him the boons of my work are clear as day #and he’s mad he’s in his parents basement working his $12/hr weed job and getting nagged for being irresponsible and filthy #lmfao moron