Tumgik
#Well I mean the one with anxiety not necessarily the smartest
amoderndreamletdown · 3 years
Note
Random JATP meme of the day:
Tumblr media
They’re fine with being ghosts but they draw the line at joining a house band especially a jazz one
21 notes · View notes
ramblingguy54 · 3 years
Text
Sonic & Tails R: A Love Letter To Miles Tails Prower’s Characterization
Tumblr media
     Warning: This will contain massive spoilers for the short radio play series of Sonic & Tails R. If you haven’t listened to the radio play yet on Youtube, I’d highly recommend any hardcore Sonic fan who hasn’t seen it check it out. It’s one Hell of a treat.
     For as far back as I can remember in my childhood, Tails’ story of trying to step outta Sonic’s shadow has been such a resonating one for myself. Even when I was a much younger kid playing my Dreamcast, during entries like Sonic Adventure 1 & 2, there was some idea lingering about why Tails just stood out more emotionally in his journey to grow beyond depending on Sonic all the time for help. Now here I am a young adult in my late twenties having such a deeper appreciation of this little two tailed genius kiddo because he’s got an important element that’s made him so beloved for good reason.
     In spite of his genius being a rival to that of Eggman’s high IQ and of course proving to surpass it plenty of times when scenarios boil down to being a high stakes battle, Miles Tails Prower beneath it all is still just like any one of us. We’re all trying to find our place in this world about what defines us for who we are as unique people. He wants to be more than just seen as someone who’s alongside Sonic The Hedgehog’s never say die attitude, but prove he’s plenty capable of standing on his own two feet to protect everything the kid holds dear to himself. Underdog stories, when they’re naturally executed very well, can reel me in so easily. They are very much my bread & butter trope I adore seeing.
Tumblr media
     To no one’s surprise, the two Sonic Adventure’s iterations portrayal of Tails’ characterization are hands down some of my favorite writing for the two tailed fox, regarding what the 3D era has done toward him, development wise. It gave him more of an existential struggle to endure like, “What happens when Sonic isn’t around to help stop Eggman? What if I’m not strong enough to accomplish what he can?”, making Tails plight to be seen as an equal all the more endearing when stopping Eggman in his climatic battle against the Egg Walker in Station Square. This here is a great use of a timeless lesson you can apply in life that if you set you heart and mind on anything, there isn’t a thing you can’t accomplish on your own, which is why many fell in love with Sonic Adventure 1 & 2′s writing for Miles Tails Prower’s journey of independence.
     As someone who comes from a large family tree of relatives, I feel the weight of my existence on my shoulders at a number of points more than I’d care to count, admittedly. Seeing Tails struggle with his sense of purpose, in contrast to observing how much Sonic has accomplished with his carefree, yet deeply compassionate attitude, means the world to me in watching another trying to comprehend their value as a whole on how much they matter, overall. This is a big part of why my fondness for SA1 & 2′s quality has never wavered over these years, besides still obviously enjoying most of their game play mechanics. People can try to debate to their heart’s content on whether the Adventure games still hold up in their own eyes, but I’ll always respect them for how they tried to develop certain characters, such as Tails, Gamma, and Shadow The Hedgehog notably, to attempt expanding upon their characters, as well as world building.
     I won’t bother going into a rant about how Sonic’s recent 3D games have butchered Tails’ personality & relatable nature, due to the current writers in charge of handling the cast of characters. More or less, I greatly empathize toward the notion many have already stated about Tails being so cowardly and God forbid, looking at Lost World, downright severely mean spirited. Rather, I’m obviously writing this lengthy post to breakdown why Sonic & Tails R succeeds, where these certain 3D games have greatly faltered in exploring Tails’ emotional dilemmas as an insecure, yet still having the courage to prove himself, talented boy full of hidden potential he doesn’t quite realize, until his back is against the wall in life threatening situations.
Tumblr media
“That day, I realized I couldn’t depend on you forever. Not that I can’t depend on you, but like, “What happens when Sonic isn’t here?”, you know?”
     Sonic & Tails R further delves into this fundamental rule of what has defined Tails in Sonic Adventure 1 & 2′s stories of events where Sonic wasn’t there to aid his best bud in taking down Eggman’s evil efforts for global domination, most importantly his fear of defending the Earth without his role model. Besides what I already stated in SA1′s events in Station where he stopped the Egg Walker, as well as the missile Eggman launched from detonating before their climatic battle, Tails watched Sonic blow up in ARK’s capsule presuming him to be dead after Sonic imparted how much faith he has in the kid’s abilities to be truly strong in the face of any foe. Sonic & Tails R manages to use fan service in a way that doesn’t feel like “pandering” for the sake of it, using this past canon material to do more of an in-depth study about Miles’ anxieties of existing without Sonic.
     Wouldn’t put it past them if EmuEmi & crew were using SA2′s Sonic death fake out scene in that space capsule to further add trauma to Tails’ psychological attachment to Sonic, as well as his insecurities of depending on him too much, to boot. While it’s never obviously outright stated in their radio play, I definitely believe they were factoring this element into adding dramatic exploration for why Tails is so self-conscious about the worst case scenario of permanently losing Sonic. Watching Sonic supposedly die put Tails into a deeper state of self-reflection, so I very much enjoyed how they went using these past events to create a thorough exploration about him learning just as it’s important to realize you need to stand up for yourself without using someone else as a crutch all the time, it’s doubly important to remember there’s nothing wrong about asking someone for help when you’re about to be down and out with little options left.
     Sonic & Tails R beautifully builds upon the foundation these two games’ stories left behind years ago, creating new damn great material to explore with the most iconic characters of this cast, Sonic & Tails brotherly dynamic. I’ve been praising Sonic & Tails R out the wazoo for how well it captured Tails underdog story of overcoming death defying odds, but it managed to remind me how simply adorable and outright wonderfully endearing their brotherly chemistry is as a whole. This is a big friendly reminder Sonic isn’t all about being cocky wise cracking character making meta jokes left and right, but he can be plenty capable of showing serious compassion to anyone he values as an ally and friend. This is no greater evident, than with him verbally lifting Tails up in his time of need when he’s self-depreciating his own significance. It can be seen in Episodes 2, 4, and 7 giving Tails motivational pieces of advice.
    Episode 2 In Adabat’s Cavern
-Sonic: Wasn’t it your radar that helped us find these Emerald shards in the first place? How could you be slowing us down when you’ve gotten us this far?
-Tails: But, I...
-Sonic: I could never make something like that. You’re the smartest person I know, Tails. One way or another, we’ll figure this out, count on it.
         Episode 4 In Holoska After Helping Silver Save The Chao
-Sonic: So, what was that back there? At the cave, in Adabat? -Tails: What do you mean? -Sonic: Frozen stiff. Confidence shot. It’s not like you. It was more than feeling like you were “slowing us down”, right?
        Episode 7 Inside The Egg Carrier 3
-Sonic: Let’s split up! I’ll distract them and you can go after the energy source. -Tails: You’re gonna take them on all by yourself!? Let me help, Sonic! -Sonic: No time for this, Tails. Stop overthinking and just go! If I can get their attention, I’ll take the heat off of you and that room you’re going to probably won’t have any security. Take this emerald and I’ll take the other one we have. It’ll lead me right to you after I beat these guys. -Tails: O-Okay... -Sonic: Hold on, Tails! Listen to me. Don’t stop moving and be careful. I’ll be fine and so will you!
     Sonic & Tails R remembers the most crucial detail of their important relationship. One isn’t better than the other and needing to always rely upon that notion for helping one outta a jam, but instead showcases how they’re equals as a team/bros. Sonic may be super fast and strong, however Tails has his intelligence to analyze situations in a different angle Sonic wouldn’t necessarily consider, per say. Which isn’t to say Tails couldn’t put up a fight either, as we’ve seen in SA1 & SA2′s stories where he faced Eggman one on one with no outside help to best him at his own game of wits & strength.
     We get see the apex of this idea through Tails facing Eggman in his super improved mecha walker. Although Tails may get thrown for a loop here at first by Eggman, it’s his villainous speech about winners and losers in their world that ironically does the exact opposite of what he intended. Eggman wanted to crush Tails’ sense of self worth before finishing him off, but all it did was reignite the very lesson Sonic told him earlier before running to distract Eggman’s robotic minions. That said lesson of he’s more than capable of facing dangerous threats
Tumblr media
-Eggman: Poor boy. We all have to learn this lesson, sooner or later. In every game there’s no one you can depend on. You’re all alone and you’re either a winner, or a loser. And as you know, loser’s lose all of their lives. Say goodbye, fox!
-Tails: You’re wrong! I can depend Sonic! I won’t let him down! I can’t because...Because he’s depending on me! And because of that I won’t lose to you!
     This radio play strikes a good balance in utilizing the grey moral area about depending on someone vs it being an unhealthy display of attachment derived from serious insecurity. Word’s can’t begin to describe how much I loved this moment to pieces because it’s oh so important for writing Tails’ characterization. If you’re going to tackle him being super self conscious about his reliance on Sonic, then you gotta remember why they are so close to one another to begin with. Sonic & Tails have an unbreakable connection, considering they’ve brought out their best qualities in themselves from being together as individuals. For Sonic, it’s his older brother compassion to Tails to bring him outta feeling melancholy. For Tails, the kid finally understands there isn’t anything wrong with depending on Sonic when he needs it most.
     After all, that’s what a real healthy friendship is all about. Whether you’re giving someone a dose of tough love, or simply a piece of motivational advice, it defines how much you truly care about someone, period. Sonic & Tails have this very same power from their bond, which is why new emeralds form from their compassionate friendship that hasn’t been shaken after all the years they’ve been together. Another detail worth noting is it adds to the lore in an impactful manner when Tikal expresses in Episode 8 about positive connections and thoughts from users of the Chaos Emeralds having a strong will & heart. Using the ideas they had for encapsulating Sonic & Tails’ dynamic to create new emeralds from their love for each other as brothers adds an emotional weight.
Tumblr media
“So, Sonic’s not the only one who harness the power of the Chaos Emeralds? I can too!?”
“Yes, you have a strong heart! There is a power waiting to be unlocked within you, as well.”
          I’d always daydreamed about in my childhood seeing Super Sonic & Tails take down a threatening villain, whether it was Eggman or different powerful creature such as Chaos or the Biolizard. You can imagine how fucking giddy I was beyond belief to see this artwork of Episode 9′s cover for the radio play. Tails not only got to have another one on one with Eggman, but a team up with Super Sonic in his own respective Super form? Sign me the Hell up! Talk about an all you eat buffet of good writing for Tails’ journey reaching its climax. Getting to hear this play out, alongside the amazing song of Fly With Me, made it authentically feel like something straight outta if there were an installment of Sonic Adventure 3 being brought into reality, which certainly feels like it now.
     Episode 9 has so much awesome stuff with Sonic & Tails working together in their super forms. Particularly, my favorite scene is at the beginning when Sonic teaches Tails how to navigate his newly acquired speed in his respective Super form. My heart melted hearing Sonic help Tails through it all, while he was overjoyed about how fun this new form is for himself. Wholesome Sonic & Tails content is the perfect daily serotonin for me, easily. It’s an awesome fun fact to know they used a scrapped boss from Tails Tornado segment in SA1 for Eggman’s flying dragon three headed robot in their big final battle, once again using old canon material in a very effective manner to boost the quality of their fan made story.
     It’s been a real thrill to hear Mike Pollock play a straight forward serious Eggman making my day in more ways than one, considering that’s another thing I’ve been yearning for desperately besides Tails being a competent character again. His performance in Episode 9 when Eggman gave that speech about how long he’s been at odds with Sonic & Tails stubborn will power was simply excellent. The moment he told his mechanical dragon to crush them I got serious chills. That’s the Eggman I remember and grew up with. He could be a hammy villain sure, but Eggman wasn’t a doormat that could be swiftly beaten. Robotnik can be considered a serious threat in his own right and this radio play nailed it down to the very letter with how much he predicted their actions.
Tumblr media
“Sonic, all I ever wanted to do was be like you. You’re not scared of anyone or anything. I could never be like that. At least, so I thought. I grew from that, but then I got so caught up in trying to prove it that thought it wasn’t okay to depend upon anyone, especially you. I just didn’t want to be that scared little kid in Station Square anymore, but now I understand. It’s okay to depend on your friends. It all means is that we’re stronger together, so the next time Eggman comes back and wants to start any trouble with you, or any of my friends. Emeralds or no emeralds, he’s gonna have to get past me and he won’t!”
Sonic By Episode 1′s End: Aww, yeah! Adventure, here we come!
Tails By Episode 10′s End: Aww, yeah! Adventure, here I come!
Turn your thoughts into power. Be all that you can be.
     The ending legit got me choked up because what of they decided to do for wrapping up Tails journey in a poetic fashion. Having Tails go off on his own separate journey to grow more independence pulled on my heart strings perfectly. Very much so, as I’m transitioning slowly, but surely, into gaining more freedom to go out into the outside world in my own life. Concluding the story, by Sonic & Tails holding onto the two Emeralds their bond had formed from positive energy, due to their powerful friendship, was so heartwarming. This is how you write an overview of what makes Sonic & Tails chemistry work so well as it does.
     Sonic & Tails R’s ending represents while some things never change, like Sonic and Tails bond for each other, it also shows there’s very much a necessity for people to grow, hence Tails’ whole solo journey in the epilogue. People can’t stay in the same place forever and will need go about finding their own path, even if it means saying “goodbye” periodically for a notable amount of time.
     It’s for these reasons I’ve listed in great explanation above throughout this detailed post cement Sonic & Tails R high on my list of favorite Sonic fan projects. They captured the magic of what made the Adventure games so beloved. Gonna be looking back on this passion project for many years to come. Everyone involved in this year long effort of a project dating all the way back Summer of 2020 ought to be immensely proud for how much their hard efforts paid off in the long run.
Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts here! 
Hope you enjoyed. 
60 notes · View notes
missmitchieg · 3 years
Text
Alex, Not Alexis
When Alex Mercer was born, his doctor called him a baby girl. His parents dressed him up in a pretty pink onesie with white stripes and took him home. They named him Alexis Abigail Mercer. They liked to call him Lexi for short.
At a year and a half old, Alex was sat in the living room watching Sesame Street while his mother, Rebecca cooked dinner and his father, George sat reading the newspaper. He smiled and giggled when Suzanne Farrell appeared in her pretty pink tutu and danced around like a ballerina. He clapped as she twirled and stood in fifth position, and Rebecca decided then that her little "Alexis" was going to take ballet lessons when "she" turned two.
At two years and a month, Alex was put into his first ballet lesson, clad in a pretty pink tutu, just like Suzanne. He was taught how to stand in position, how to move his arms and hands so he could dance, just like her. He smiled proudly at himself as he twirled in his little tutu, his proud mother watching with happy tears in her eyes.
When Alex started school a few years later, he was nervous to be in a new environment. He's always been a little anxious about trying new things and about being away from mommy and daddy. The little boys and girls at school already seeming cliqued up and excluding him did not calm him down.
For a few years, he would come home from school upset and crying because the other kids laughed at him for panicking, needing his Epi-pen, or whatever bad thing happened that set him off like a boy pulling his pigtails. When he didn't, he would tell his mom he was sick, because he did sort of feel sick, and ask for chicken soup and a mom-approved show on the TV.
But when he felt alright, he would just go and suffer the consequences. Until one day in third grade when he met this boy named Luke Patterson. Luke was nice to him and would yell at bullies for being mean because "She's not doing anything bad! Just leave her alone!" and run to tell a teacher to get them in trouble.
"Thank you, Luke, for making them go away." Alex would tell him and push his bangs out of his face, behind his ears. He was sort of starting to hate his long bangs and long hair. But he loved his pink clothes.
"No problem!" Luke would respond and grab his hand, and they would take off together in search of crickets and grasshoppers to chase.
They stayed best friends all though out the rest of their elementary years, and into middle school. His parents loved Luke for Alex. A little boy who shared their sweet "Alexis'" faith and was nice to "her"? He seemed absolutely perfect. Until they got to know him.
See, Luke was sort of a stubborn, rebellious boy who liked rock bands and electric guitar. It only got worse when the pair met Bobby Wilson in the seventh grade and introduced them to Reggie Peters, who wore leather jackets and Bobby only encouraged Reggie, Luke and Alex sneaking out to see bands they liked, and who called their sweet baby Alex. Little did they know it was because Alex had asked the three of them to call him that.
Alex laughed as he stood in the arcade with Bobby, Reggie and Luke, beating Reggie at Street Fighter for the third time that day. Their arcade trips had soon become a regular thing, and they had learned to ignore the strange looks they got from the fact of the four of them being three boys in rebellious rocker boy garb and a girl in a baby pink hoodie, grey baggy shorts, hair shoved under a black snapback, and Nike sneakers.
"Way to go, Alexis!" Reggie cheered him on, fist in the air in celebration at his best friend winning yet again.
Alex blinked and felt his smile falter just a little, giving Reggie a fist bump. "Thanks, buddy."
Reggie took notice of her smile shrinking, though, and frowned a little, tilting his head. "Hey, you ok? Something bothering you?"
"What? No, I'm fine. Just-" Alex stopped to take a deep breath, shoving the anxiety building up in his stomach down. He knew his friends would be fine with such a small change, so why did the idea of asking this of them make him want to throw up the pizza they just ate? "I- Can you guys stop calling me Alexis? I don't like that name. I want to be called Alex." He admitted and bit his lip, bouncing on his heels.
"Oh, sure." Reggie shrugged like it was nothing.
"No problem, Alex." Luke agreed with a smile.
"Alex it is." Bobby nodded. "But is Lexi still ok?"
Alex considered it for a second and nodded with a smile. "Lexi is still ok, but thanks for asking first."
"Hey, we just want you to be comfortable, Alex." Bobby smiled and Alex chuckled, bumping shoulders with him. "Thanks, boys."
"Anything for you, Lexi." Reggie promised. "Besides, it would be weird of me to call you a name you don't like when I ask everyone to call me Reggie instead of Reginald. Just feels wrong." He said, scrunching up his face when he spoke his full name.
"Or Bobby instead of Robert." Bobby cringed.
"Or Luke instead of... Um, Lucy." Luke admitted and bit his lip, watching his best friend's reactions carefully.
"Luke fits you better." Alex told him, silently promising to keep his real name a secret from the rest of the world for all eternity, and he saw appreciation in Luke's eyes at that. So his best friend was both Christian and transgender (and maybe so was he). It didn't have to be a big deal. Luke was still Luke, and he would always be just Luke to Alex. He smiled, silently pointing his thumb at the game machine.
"I like Luke!" Reggie grinned, giving him a comforting pat on the back.
"Yeah, man. It sounds cool. Sounds like a rock star name." Bobby commented and Luke chuckled as he put another coin in the slot to play (and lose) again.
So it was settled. His boys called him Alex and Lexi and he called his boys Luke, Reggie and Bobby. It worked for them. It felt right.
He knew he couldn't just ask his parents to stop calling him the name they picked out that they loved so much, so he just didn't. And he definitely wasn't planning on ever telling them that he was pretty sure he was a boy like his best friends, not a girl like they had previously thought, because he'd heard the awful way his very conservative, very religious parents had talked about "disgusting queers and their sick desire to poison the youth and watch the world go up in flames".
So yeah, he was very much content with keeping it a secret until he turned eighteen and moved out so he could do whatever he wanted to, like cut his hair and legally change his name and get a whole new wardrobe that he didn't have to hide in the back of his closet behind pretty church dresses and ballet class tutus. Like his cool hoodies and pants and sneakers. He still loved the color pink. It was still his favorite. He was just a boy that liked pink. Not a girl. It didn't have to be a big deal.
And he did keep that secret, very well. For a while. Some punk kid at school told his parents and they told Alex's parents, who promptly threw a massive tantrum about having a daughter, not a son, and how they did not raise "Alexis" to be like this. How they were not going to raise a "queer" and Alex needed up to clean up "her" act or "she" could find another place to live because "she" could not stay there if "she" was going to be like that.
"And what if I like the way I am, dad? What if I like that I think I'm a boy, and like that I think I might like Luke?" Alex finally snapped and crossed his arms, and both of his parents were shocked into silence.
"Really, Alex?" Luke asked softly, uncharacteristically quiet for once. He looked up at Alex from the couch where the pair were previously finishing Math homework together, his eyes wide and hopeful.
Alex softened and gave Luke a little smile, nodding slightly. "Yeah, Luke."
"And Luke, how do you feel about our Alexis?" George sneered at Luke and sent him a bitter glare, almost daring the boy to challenge him, and Luke, well, he never said no to a dare or a challenge.
Luke pursed his lips at George and gave him a sickly sweet smile. "Well, I dunno who Alexis is, sir, but I do know that Alex is one of the coolest, smartest, most talented and amazing boys I've ever met." He answered, putting an emphasis on "Alex" and "boys" just to piss George off.
"Luke." Rebecca spoke up, fists clenched and eyes trained on Luke. "Say that again." She ordered slowly, as if asking him to speak again would change the words that came out of his mouth.
Luke scoffed, standing from the cough and dropping his text book to the floor. "I said, ma'am, that Alex is one of the cool, smartest, most talented and amazing boys I've ever met, and I like him, too." He smiled and took Alex's hand in his, giving it a comforting squeeze and smiling when Alex squeezed him right back.
"Get out of this house! Both of you!" George commanded, pointing toward the door.
"Bye!" Alex waved and walked out with Luke, as if this was something perfectly normal and fine, getting on his bicycle. "Let's head to Bobby's. Reggie's already there with him."
So now Alex was taking up residence in the Wilson garage. He guessed he really should've known they would find out some way or another. He wasn't openly telling people he was a boy named Alex, but he also was necessarily acting like the little ballerina princess people used to know as Alexis. No, now he was just that "girl" that always hid "her" hair under hats before just cutting it all off, and that "girl" that played the drums and hanged out in the arcade or played basketball with a bunch of guys.
Reggie came soon after, when his parents' fighting had just become too much for him to handle. Alex always felt bad and wished there was some way he could snap his fingers and magically have everything be fixed, but there was nothing he could do to help anyone. That didn't help his anxiety, either. The only thing that helped, was drumming. So he drummed, a lot.
The boys ended up forming a band that they called Sunset Curve. (Reggie came up with it. Reggie also designed their logo. Both things he was very proud of. And the boys loved it.) It took them a few years, Luke and Alex deciding they were better as friends, Luke moving into the garage, and some gigs at book clubs, but they were starting to get big. Big enough to play The Orpheum.
And then three of them ate some bad hot dogs.
Alex guessed the afterlife wasn't so terrible. Sure, he was dead and he couldn't eat pizza or Bobby's mom's famous meals anymore, but dying brought him and Luke and Reggie to Julie. With Julie came Ray, and Carlos, and Flynn. And sure, he couldn't actually talk to Ray or Carlos, but he could talk to Flynn with Julie's whiteboard or Julie relaying messages to them, so he had that.
And then came Willie.
Sweet, funny, handsome Willie that was nice to him, and answered his questions, and used the name Alex had asked him to. Sweet, funny, handsome Willie that showed him how to move objects by focusing his energy into his hands, and gave him a new coping mechanism for his anxiety. Sweet, funny, handsome Willie that liked to cause trouble with cops, and went by "they" and "them", which Alex would always respect, because he knew what it was like to be misgendered and he was never going to do that to his sweet Willie.
There was just one little thing bothering him on one random Saturday. He hadn't yet told Willie that he himself was trans. He was going to! He wasn't going to keep that a secret from someone sort of like him. He just hadn't gotten around to it yet, but now he would.
"Hey, Wills." He piped up as they were sat in a museum, shouting a little and talking through his stressor of the week.
"Yeah, Hot Dog?" Willie smiled, running their finger through Alex's soft blond locks.
"I'm trans. I'm a trans boy." Alex told him after a moment of hesitation, leaning into Willie's gentle hand.
Willie raised their eyebrows and their smile widened, scooting closer to Alex. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Ok."
"Willie?"
"Hmm?"
Alex blushed and chewed on his lip, taking a deep breath and looking Willie in the eye. "I really like you. A lot."
Willie gasped softly and felt their jaw drop as they looked at Alex, a soft smile forming on their face. "I like you, too, Lexi."
Alex smiled at the way the affectionate nickname sounded on Willie's lips, raising a hand to tuck Willie's hair behind their ear. "Then, can I kiss you?"
Willie let out a giggle and nodded, leaning in slowly. "Yes."
Alex leaned in the rest of the way and pressed his lips against Willie's, his hand grasping Willie's neck gently. He pulled away slowly after a while and bit his lip, still unable to hide the smile on his face. "That felt really good."
"Yeah." Willie agreed.
"Can I do it again?"
"God, yes." Willie nodded immediately. "Yes please, Lexi."
Alex giggled then and kissed Willie again, softer and slower this time.
So, yeah. Maybe the afterlife wasn't perfect, but it came pretty damn close if you asked Alex, so he wasn't going to complain.
33 notes · View notes
arizcross · 4 years
Text
Iruma & his happy harem’s lovely children
I’m gonna come out clean: I poly-ship Iruma with Alice, Clara, Amelie and Kirio. I would love to see them end in a happy harem and I already have their lovely love-children. Here, I present those imaginary children to you:
Hitomi.
Hitomi is the oldest child, she is the only child that Iruma has given birth to. Iruma got pregnant of her a couple of years after he – somehow – turned into a full-fledged demon. You see, I headcanon that demons don’t necessarily need coitus to reproduce or need to be female to get pregnant; Iruma got pregnant after sleeping in the same bed as Alice, Clara, Amelie and Kirio – at the same time and in a pile all together – after a taxing day of work, the mana of all of them just mixed-up together and settled inside Iruma since he is the strongest and the energy felt that he was the only one capable of handling the task. This means that Iruma is her birth mother while Alice, Clara, Amelie and Kirio are her biological dads.
Physically, Hitomi looks a lot like Iruma, tho her hair is a clearer shade of blue and a bit straighter – the ahoge is still there tho –. Also like Iruma, Hitomi is a hard working individual who is always ready to help those that request it, she possesses a grand appetite as well. Mentally, Hitomi feels a lot of pressure, she is after all the first born of the second coming of the Great King and due to this she sometimes overworks herself, her biggest fear is to be a disappointment to Iruma – tho we all know this never is gonna happen, Iruma loves his children –.
Hitomi’s personal tutors are no other than Opera, Kalego, Balam and Bachiko, all of them rapidly proclaiming the spot as her mentors the instant she was born. Opera teaches her Etiquette and Self- Defense, Kalego teaches her Music, Magic and Arithmancy, Balam teaches her History, Herbology and Imaginary Beings Theory, and Bachiko teaches her Archery and War Arts. If Hitomi is not with her tutors she can easily be found with her some other member of her family or with her friends, that or she and her siblings were once again abducted by Lord Sullivan into a surprise hide and seek family trip.
Clawd (Older) & Fawks (Younger).
They are the twin sons of Iruma and Clara and the second oldest children of the family, they also are the non-official captains of the Let’s Protect Nee-san Squad – this includes protecting Hitomi from their younger siblings’ obsessive love and of course from her own fears –. Like Clara these two have lime green colored hair but the texture of it it’s more like Iruma’s, they even have the ahoge. Thanks to their mother, Clawd and Fawks possess the Valac’s Blood Technique and can pull out from their pockets whatever object they have seen before but they have a plus, for they can put whatever they want into their pockets as long as the size of the object allows it.
As crazy as Clara but with the sharpness of a wicked!Iruma, these two are probably the smartest members of the Royal Family, a true pair of evil geniuses! Thank the Aether that Kalego always finds a way to keep these two in control, that and that they deeply respect and admire their parents and older sister, who they obey without a second thought. They enjoy to spend time with their Great Grand Father Sullivan, their ambition is to be as awesome as him in the future, something that greatly worries Opera and Kalego.
Unlike Hitomi, who takes lessons from the four tutors that serve their father, Clawd and Fawks education is mostly monitored by Kalego, who has seen over their idiot façade and knows about the twins’ true intelligent nature, sometimes Balam joins their lessons as support, sometimes Opera joins their lessons to help them play pranks on Kalego.
Roze.
She is the proud child of King Iruma and Lord Alice, a true knight-princess all in all. Her hair is the same way Iruma’s looked when he dressed up as Irumi but with the pink color of the Asmodeus Clan, like her father the King and unlike her daddy – Lord Alice –, she has a single ahoge on her head. Think of Irumi (fem!Iruma) but with Alice’s color scheme. Like Iruma, Roze is a hard working child who enjoys the thrill of new challenges and overcome them, this sometimes makes Iruma feel like a bad influence. Roze judges others by their actions and how they treat others, not minding Ranks or Social Status.
Roze enjoys fashion, something she most certainly gets from her Grandmother, Lady Amaryllis, and constantly creates designs for her, her family and friends to wear, her favorite models been her father and older sister. Opera and Amaryllis constantly join her during her creative feats, Sullivan happily giving her fabrics, laces and ribbons to feed her creative needs.
The ones in charge of her education and training are Alice himself, Balam and Bachiko. The first one teaching her about the Trade Mark Fire Magic used by the Asmodeus Clan, Etiquette and Swordsmanship, Balam teaching her Arithmancy, History and Beast-ology, and Bachiko teaching her War Arts, this last one also constantly joins her in Tea-Parties and helps her with some of Roze’s designs.
Ozwald (Oz).
The honorable son of King Iruma and Lady Amelie. An adorable red head with Amelie’s works ethics and Iruma’s face, besides having the weird fox ears of the Azazel Clan, Oz also possesses Iruma’s ahoge, tho smaller in size. Oz takes everything a little bit too seriously and like his mother and Grandfather Henry tends to fantasies extreme sceneries, which sometimes gives him anxiety, thanks to this when he is not studying one can find him meditating with his father and Opera or cleaning his room to distract himself.
He is close to his mothers and constantly has tea-parties and picnics with them, he also enjoys sharing time with his parents and siblings, tho the twins sometimes overwhelm him, but he loves them nonetheless.
Oz deeply admires his mother Amelie and his father Alice, he looks up to their work ethics and their loyalty to his father King – that’s how he refers to Iruma when talking to those outside of his trust circle –, his ambition for the future is to be the next Security Chief of the Netherworld after Amelie retires and to achieve said ambition he constantly trains and studies with his mother Amelie, Opera and Kalego. The best close-combat fighter of the Royal Family – after Amelie –, his tiny fists and kicks can break from rocks to iron walls.
Kirara.
The youngest child of the Royal Family, Iruma and Kirio’s – and everybody in the family – little baby. Iruma’s face and physic with Kirio’s scheme color, they also wear a pair of big and round glasses. Unlike Kirio, who lacks mana to perform strong magic spells and hexes, Kirara has a vast pool of mana and is the best Magi of the Royal Family after Iruma. If there is one way to properly describe them is… “Sweet, darling child. Evil.” That’s right, behind their lovely smile hides a twisted mastermind that would do anything for their family and dear ones; the only ones to have realized this are Kirio – of course – and Sullivan, who has taken the task to guide the child’s nature into a well-controlled madness – if that is even possible –.
Important things to know about the Royal Family.
Are all them fully demon?
Yes. They all are full blooded demons. Even Iruma, who turned into a full demon thanks to some magic shenanigans. 
Do they know that Humans are real and that Iruma used to be one?
Yes, they do. Iruma told them everything about himself, even the part where Kirio almost eats him. The kids were mad at Kirio for a while after knowing about this.
Do all of them have Iruma’s ahoge – the hair-antenna thingy –?
Yes, they do.
Do the children possess horns and tails?
No. Not even Clawd and Fawks have horns or tails.
Who is/are the sis-con?
Roze and Ozwald (towards Hitomi).
Is there any dad-con?
Kirara (They LOVE Iruma)
Which parent pampers the children the most?
Clara, but Iruma is a close second.
Who is the strictest parent?
Surprisingly, Kirio, but in a gentle manner. The kids already have to deal with Kalego after all.
Do they have family activities and/or outgoings?
Yes, they do. They constantly go camping or have family picnics and if Sullivan feels or sees that they need some free time then he kidnaps he children and takes them to visit different touristic places around the Netherworld and leaves a note for Iruma and the other parents so they can look for them – this is called the hide and seek break from work –. Also, before going to sleep Iruma reads Hatsukoi Memory to the whole family, they also have breakfast and dinner together.
69 notes · View notes
missjanjie · 4 years
Text
Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) | (3/?)
Title: Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) Summary: A sequel to Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer. Brooke Lynn and Vanessa are back at NYU, but with new and improved positions. Brooke’s ready to start her career as a professor when, as fate would have it, she realizes her TA, Jackie, might have the hots for a student named Jan. The couple just might see it as a sign to give two new girls the love story they found in the same place. Word Count: ~2.9k (this chapter) / ~9k (total) Relationship(s): Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo), Jankie (Jan Sport/Jackie Cox) Rating: E
read on ao3
Brooke Lynn furrowed her brows and strummed her fingers against the table. “So, let me see if I’ve got this right – you invited Jan over to practice for her audition, got wine drunk, then dry-humped until she got off?”
Jackie nodded in confirmation, her eyes fixated more on her coffee cup than Brooke – she had to build back up to being able to make eye-contact. “Then in the morning she was gone and she left me a note,” she finished, holding the piece of paper up. “I really fucked up, didn’t I?”
“It wasn’t your smartest move,” she told her, trying not to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all. “But if she just left like that, she’s probably just as scared as you are. Listen, the first day I met Vanessa was a mess. I walked her home from work that night, kissed her, and then literally ran away. She still makes fun of me for it.”
The story made Jackie laugh, but it caught her by surprise as well. She had always seen Brooke as someone so unshakably confident. “I guess if things worked out for you guys, all hope isn’t totally lost…” She took another sip from her drink and sighed. “I still don’t know how I’m going to face her in class on Monday,” she admitted.
Brooke reached across the table and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Just focus on your work. I promise I’ll find something to keep you busy, okay?” As much as she wanted to continue her matchmaking game, she could see that the tension needed to diffuse before she tried to push them closer. Just because Katya lucked out didn’t mean lightning would strike twice.
Jackie’s entire body relaxed in relief. She was still anxious about seeing Jan again, but it meant a lot to know that Brooke was looking out for her. “Okay. Yes, thank you. I can work with that.” She nodded, then checked her phone. “I have to get going, though. I’ll talk to you later,” she said as she gathered her things, including the note that she tucked into her pocket.
Brooke smiled and waved her off. She stayed put, though. She was expecting Vanessa any minute now. They liked meeting here when they could, after all, it was the café A’keria recently became the owner of, the same one she’d started working in after the Starbucks fiasco all those years ago. It was sentimental to them now.
“Hey boo,” Vanessa greeted as she walked in, leaning over and giving her wife a kiss before sitting down. “Must’ve just missed Jackie, how’s she doing?”
“The poor girl is going through it,” Brooke shook her head sympathetically. “She and Jan got drunk and fooled around, and Jan left before she woke up. She left a Post-It or something.”
Vanessa frowned and shook her head. “Mh-mm, I hate Post-Its. If you’re gonna dip, send a text like a normal person,” she mused.
“Maybe she thought a handwritten note would be more meaningful,” she reasoned. “Regardless, she’s just gonna need some time to recover before we continue with any matchmaking shenanigans.”
Vanessa gave a firm nod of agreement. “Understood.” She sat quietly for a moment, strumming her fingernails against the table. “I wanna talk about the baby thing.”
Brooke blinked in surprise at the abrupt subject change but leaned in to listen attentively nonetheless. “Of course, what’s on your mind?”
“Listen… I know we got good genes and all, but I don’t wanna create a baby in a lab when there are so many kids that need a family. I had friends in foster care when I was little, you know? That shit must’ve really sucked for them. And I just think… You and me are in a position to really help a kid out,” she told her, then held her breath as she waited for her wife’s response.
Brooke reached across the table and held Vanessa’s hands. “Baby girl, if that’s what you want, I am a hundred percent on board. I think that’s a wonderful motivation to adopt. We can start looking at agencies as soon or as late as you want. I’m in this with you all the way,” her thumb stroked over Vanessa’s wedding band. “That’s what I promised you. That’s the promise I make to you every day as your wife.”
Vanessa blinked and looked down. “Shit, you gonna make me cry,” she mumbled, giving Brooke’s hand a light squeeze to reassure her she was okay. “Guess we gotta think about redecorating the guest room then, huh?”
“You know my weakness for interior design,” she cooed, pressing a kiss to the back of Vanessa’s hand.
By the time Monday rolled around, Jackie had talked herself out of most of her anxiety. When the time was right, she thought, she could talk things out with Jan. But until then, she had a job to do, a job that she did like.
Jackie’s main task was to write a lot of information on the chalkboard. It was perfect as far as she was concerned – having her back to the class meant she didn’t have to worry about making awkward eye contact with Jan. She had to admit, it was kind of a genius move on Brooke’s part.
Jan, however, was left with a predicament of her own. She and Gigi had sat in the front because even with contacts or glasses, they were both nearsighted as all hell. However, this put Jackie right in her line of sight, and she immediately began regretting her decision.
While the dress Jackie wore came down to her knees, the fabric clung to her body in a way that accentuated some of her best physical features.
And Jan hadn’t meant to stare – staring was rude and her mother taught her better. But she would be damned if Jackie’s ass wasn’t hypnotizing her. She couldn’t help but wonder how she hadn’t noticed before.
“You’re gonna snap your pen in half with the way you’re biting it,” Gigi poked Jan’s shoulder, snapping her friend out of her trance. “Also, some subtlety really wouldn’t hurt you right now.”
Jan blushed, looking down at her notes, which were nowhere near as detailed as usual. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Gigi chuckled. “Please, your eyes were about to burn a hole into her butt.”
“They were not, I was just reading the board,” she insisted, but now that she had to actively avoid staring, her body seemed all the more compelled to continue. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, trying to get her mind and body on the same page.
“Hey, you have good taste, I’m just saying be less obvious about it.”
Jan just buried her face in her notes, hoping that if she focused on getting work done, her mind would stop conjuring images of Jackie in various states of undress.
“...And that’ll just about do it,” Brooke Lynn was saying. “You guys are free to go, see you Wednesday.” She closed her book, punctuating the dismissal. Her eyes followed the students out of the room, waiting until they were alone before speaking to Jackie. “How are you feeling?”
Jackie exhaled deeply, dropping herself down onto the desk closest to Brooke’s as if she were dead weight. “I feel okay. I think not having to look at her made it easy. Have you seen her eyes? They’re so warm and brown and–”
“–And couldn’t stay off of you,” Brooke finished with a smirk. “Jackie, she is hot for you, you should’ve seen how she was staring at you. I already knew you have a great ass, but damn, it had a magnetic pull on that poor girl.”
Jackie turned a shade of red deeper and brighter than it had ever been. She suddenly became hyper-aware of her body, not necessarily in a self-conscious way – in fact, part of her was flattered – but it was overwhelming to process at first. “I guess she might not regret the other night that much then,” she managed with a strangled laugh.
“Honey, it’s pretty clear she wants a repeat performance. I wasn’t even paying all that much attention to her, but I swear I almost offered her a towel,” she chuckled.
Even though Jan was long gone, Jackie looked out of the classroom and into the hall, as if she could still catch sight of her. “I never thought I’d be relieved to be objectified,” she mused.
Brooke let out a light laugh at that. “So you’ll go talk to her?”
She shook her head as her gaze drifted back to the desk. “Not yet. Soon… Hopefully soon. I think I’ll know when I’m ready.”
“Well, other than you ogling the TA you fooled around with, I think today went well,” Gigi said as they walked back to the residence hall. “You ready for your audition later?”
“I wasn’t ogling her.” Jan chewed on her lip. “Don’t laugh, but…” She shifted awkwardly as she looked anywhere but directly at her friend. “I’m worried I might be too… distracted to nail it.”
Gigi looked at her friend with an arched brow. “First of all, yes you were. We established this. Second, you think you’ll be too horny to focus on singing?” She really did try her best not to laugh, but a small giggle slipped through. “Babe, just masturbate like a normal person before you go.”
She huffed. “Don’t you think I’ve thought of that? Lem’s probably gonna be in there, what am I supposed to do, tell her to leave so I can jerk off? We’re close, Geege, but I think there’s a line.”
“Then go in the shower. Jesus, do I have to spell it out for you?” Gigi rolled her eyes.
“You don’t think it’s weird to get off thinking about someone you’re not dating?” Jan asked quietly.
Her friend pinched the bridge of her nose. “At this point I just think you need to do it so you stop sounding so neurotic and paranoid. Hell, if I wasn’t in a committed relationship, I’d offer to help you out myself.”
Jan cocked her head to the side. “Thanks, I think.”
When Jan did get back to the dorm, she saw Lemon on her bed with her AirPods in, just as she’d anticipated. She waved at her to get her attention, waiting for her to take one of them out. “Hey sweetie, I’m just gonna shower before my audition. You know, get nice and calm,” she told her.
Lemon smiled and nodded. “Oh shit, I forgot that was today. Break a leg! But like, not in the shower. That would be bad.”
Jan chuckled as she grabbed what she needed to bring into the bathroom. “I don’t know where I’d be without your wisdom, doll,” she winked playfully before leaving.
The first thing Jan did once she got in the shower was put music on – this wasn’t her first rodeo, so to speak. Even with earbuds in, she knew she ran the risk of Lemon hearing her moan if she didn’t drown it out. With the music playing and water running, Jan undressed and stepped into the shower, letting out a sigh of relief the second the hot water hit her body.
After she washed her hair, Jan leaned against the shower wall, resting her head against the cool tile. She let her hand travel down her body. There was a moment of hesitation when her fingers grazed over her pussy, but after a deep breath, she began rubbing her clit with two fingers. Her eyes fluttered shut as soft, breathy moans slipped out.
“Fuck…” Jan wasn’t thinking about anything at first, but without even trying, her thoughts drifted to Jackie, to what happened the other night, to that day in class. And once she got started, there was no chance of stopping. “Oh, Jackie…” she moaned, rocking against her fingers. Her free hand went to her breast, groping it, and tweaking her nipple.
By the time her orgasm hit, Jan needed to rest her entire weight against the wall to keep herself up. Her legs were shaking and she was whimpering, taking deep breaths as she finally felt sturdy enough to stand back upright. After that, she just did a quick wash off her face and body before getting out and drying off, going back into the bedroom wrapped up in her robe shortly after.
“Hey, feeling any better?” Lemon asked casually. It was clear she hadn’t moved an inch this whole time, nor was she aware of what Jan had gotten up to.
“Much better, actually,” Jan nodded, taking the towel wrap off of her head and combing her hair out. “What’s your plan for the rest of the day?” she asked as she continued getting ready.
Lemon paused her music and took out her earbuds, she had been waiting for an opportunity to talk about herself. “Actually, I’m meeting up with a girl later.” She didn’t wait for Jan to ask before she continued. “Okay, so, like, I had just lit a joint and I see this really pretty girl – tall, you know how I like ‘em – and she seems hella stressed, so I offer her a hit. So, we’re smoking and chatting and long story short, we have a date tonight.”
“That was the short version?” Jan teased as she got dressed. “I’m guessing it'll be more of the same?”
She scoffed. “No… We’ll probably fuck too.”
Jan laughed softly as she straightened her hair, then pulled it up into a high ponytail. “Well, it’s always nice to have an itinerary,” she hummed. “I’ll see you later.”
“Next!”
Jan stepped onto the stage and held herself with confidence. She introduced herself, handed the sheet music to the pianist, and then she simply did what she did best; she sang. She gave it her all, emoting all the right words, belting all the right notes. There was a lingering rush of adrenaline when she finished. “Thank you,” she smiled politely and made her way off stage.
“Great job up there,” a distinct voice out of seemingly nowhere caused Jan to jump, startled.
“Oh, thanks Vanjie,” Jan smiled, running her fingers through her ponytail. “I didn’t realize anyone other than the directors were watching.”
Vanessa shrugged. “People gave up tryna tell me what to do a long time ago. Except for Brooke, but there’s always an exception for the wife. But anyway… you feelin’ okay? I don’t know all the details, but I know you had a rough weekend.”
Of course, Jan figured Vanessa knew more than she let on – she could safely assume Jackie told Brooke, and Brooke told Vanessa. But she hoped some details had gotten lost in translation. “Oh, yeah, I guess,” she bounced awkwardly on the balls of her feet. “Things are a little weird, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“Listen, I’ve been in your shoes. The worst thing you can do is overthink it. Brooke did it, Jackie does it, and I get the vibe you do too. Not everything’s as deep as y’all make it out to be, you know?”
Jan chewed her lip and nodded. Sure, she knew Vanessa was right, but it was easier said than done. It wasn’t something she could simply stop doing, something she could just turn on and off at will. “The situation’s just… It’s complicated. But I get what you’re saying, I do,” she assured. “All I wanna focus on now is being able to sleep tonight so I can be ready to see if I got a callback tomorrow.”
Vanessa gave Jan’s arm a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “You got this. Ain’t no one around you doubting that.”
And Jan tried her best to take that to heart, she tried to stay positive the rest of the night, to turn her brain off when it was finally time to sleep. She was pretty sure she passed out at nearly three in the morning, but as soon as her alarm went off, she shot right out of bed.
Lemon rolled onto her side, watching Jan scramble to get ready with energy from god knows where. “How the fuck do you do that?” she mumbled groggily.
Jan shrugged as she brushed her hair. “It’s a blessing and a curse, Lem.” She checked her phone. “The callback list should be up by the time I get there,” she murmured, offering a quick goodbye to her roommate before she was out the door.
By the time she got to the auditorium, there was already a small group of hopeful actors forming outside the doors. And as soon as the list went up, they all crowded around it.
Too impatient to wait, Jan made her way to the front, offering haphazard apologies to everyone she bumped out of the way. It was worth it for the happiness and relief she felt when she saw that she was on the callback list for Veronica.
The first thing she did was call Gigi and did her best to not scream into the phone. “I got a callback! And there were only two other girls listed for Veronica, Geege, I’m this close to getting it. I can taste it.”
“That’s my girl, I knew you’d crush it,” Gigi replied. “You’re gonna nail the callback too, and don’t be afraid to take my advice again if you need it.”
Jan furrowed her brows. “How did you know I followed your advice?”
Gigi had a smug grin that Jan swore she could feel through the phone. “I didn’t.”
21 notes · View notes
artificialqueens · 4 years
Text
Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer), Chapter 3 (Branjie, Jankie) - Joley
ao3 link
Tumblr link
Brooke Lynn furrowed her brows and strummed her fingers against the table. “So, let me see if I’ve got this right – you invited Jan over to practice for her audition, got wine drunk, then dry-humped until she got off?”
Jackie nodded in confirmation, her eyes fixated more on her coffee cup than Brooke – she had to build back up to being able to make eye-contact. “Then in the morning she was gone and she left me a note,” she finished, holding the piece of paper up. “I really fucked up, didn’t I?”
“It wasn’t your smartest move,” she told her, trying not to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all. “But if she just left like that, she’s probably just as scared as you are. Listen, the first day I met Vanessa was a mess. I walked her home from work that night, kissed her, and then literally ran away. She still makes fun of me for it.”
The story made Jackie laugh, but it caught her by surprise as well. She had always seen Brooke as someone so unshakably confident. “I guess if things worked out for you guys, all hope isn’t totally lost…” She took another sip from her drink and sighed. “I still don’t know how I’m going to face her in class on Monday,” she admitted.
Brooke reached across the table and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Just focus on your work. I promise I’ll find something to keep you busy, okay?” As much as she wanted to continue her matchmaking game, she could see that the tension needed to diffuse before she tried to push them closer. Just because Katya lucked out didn’t mean lightning would strike twice.
Jackie’s entire body relaxed in relief. She was still anxious about seeing Jan again, but it meant a lot to know that Brooke was looking out for her. “Okay. Yes, thank you. I can work with that.” She nodded, then checked her phone. “I have to get going, though. I’ll talk to you later,” she said as she gathered her things, including the note that she tucked into her pocket.
Brooke smiled and waved her off. She stayed put, though. She was expecting Vanessa any minute now. They liked meeting here when they could, after all, it was the café A’keria recently became the owner of, the same one she’d started working in after the Starbucks fiasco all those years ago. It was sentimental to them now.
“Hey boo,” Vanessa greeted as she walked in, leaning over and giving her wife a kiss before sitting down. “Must’ve just missed Jackie, how’s she doing?”
“The poor girl is going through it,” Brooke shook her head sympathetically. “She and Jan got drunk and fooled around, and Jan left before she woke up. She left a Post-It or something.”
Vanessa frowned and shook her head. “Mh-mm, I hate Post-Its. If you’re gonna dip, send a text like a normal person,” she mused.
“Maybe she thought a handwritten note would be more meaningful,” she reasoned. “Regardless, she’s just gonna need some time to recover before we continue with any matchmaking shenanigans.”
Vanessa gave a firm nod of agreement. “Understood.” She sat quietly for a moment, strumming her fingernails against the table. “I wanna talk about the baby thing.”
Brooke blinked in surprise at the abrupt subject change but leaned in to listen attentively nonetheless. “Of course, what’s on your mind?”
“Listen… I know we got good genes and all, but I don’t wanna create a baby in a lab when there are so many kids that need a family. I had friends in foster care when I was little, you know? That shit must’ve really sucked for them. And I just think… You and me are in a position to really help a kid out,” she told her, then held her breath as she waited for her wife’s response.
Brooke reached across the table and held Vanessa’s hands. “Baby girl, if that’s what you want, I am a hundred percent on board. I think that’s a wonderful motivation to adopt. We can start looking at agencies as soon or as late as you want. I’m in this with you all the way,” her thumb stroked over Vanessa’s wedding band. “That’s what I promised you. That’s the promise I make to you every day as your wife.”
Vanessa blinked and looked down. “Shit, you gonna make me cry,” she mumbled, giving Brooke’s hand a light squeeze to reassure her she was okay. “Guess we gotta think about redecorating the guest room then, huh?”
“You know my weakness for interior design,” she cooed, pressing a kiss to the back of Vanessa’s hand.
By the time Monday rolled around, Jackie had talked herself out of most of her anxiety. When the time was right, she thought, she could talk things out with Jan. But until then, she had a job to do, a job that she did like.
Jackie’s main task was to write a lot of information on the chalkboard. It was perfect as far as she was concerned – having her back to the class meant she didn’t have to worry about making awkward eye contact with Jan. She had to admit, it was kind of a genius move on Brooke’s part.
Jan, however, was left with a predicament of her own. She and Gigi had sat in the front because even with contacts or glasses, they were both nearsighted as all hell. However, this put Jackie right in her line of sight, and she immediately began regretting her decision.
While the dress Jackie wore came down to her knees, the fabric clung to her body in a way that accentuated some of her best physical features.
And Jan hadn’t meant to stare – staring was rude and her mother taught her better. But she would be damned if Jackie’s ass wasn’t hypnotizing her. She couldn’t help but wonder how she hadn’t noticed before.
“You’re gonna snap your pen in half with the way you’re biting it,” Gigi poked Jan’s shoulder, snapping her friend out of her trance. “Also, some subtlety really wouldn’t hurt you right now.”
Jan blushed, looking down at her notes, which were nowhere near as detailed as usual. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Gigi chuckled. “Please, your eyes were about to burn a hole into her butt.”
“They were not, I was just reading the board,” she insisted, but now that she had to actively avoid staring, her body seemed all the more compelled to continue. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, trying to get her mind and body on the same page.
“Hey, you have good taste, I’m just saying be less obvious about it.”
Jan just buried her face in her notes, hoping that if she focused on getting work done, her mind would stop conjuring images of Jackie in various states of undress.
“…And that’ll just about do it,” Brooke Lynn was saying. “You guys are free to go, see you Wednesday.” She closed her book, punctuating the dismissal. Her eyes followed the students out of the room, waiting until they were alone before speaking to Jackie. “How are you feeling?”
Jackie exhaled deeply, dropping herself down onto the desk closest to Brooke’s as if she were dead weight. “I feel okay. I think not having to look at her made it easy. Have you seen her eyes? They’re so warm and brown and–”
“–And couldn’t stay off of you,” Brooke finished with a smirk. “Jackie, she is hot for you, you should’ve seen how she was staring at you. I already knew you have a great ass, but damn, it had a magnetic pull on that poor girl.”
Jackie turned a shade of red deeper and brighter than it had ever been. She suddenly became hyper-aware of her body, not necessarily in a self-conscious way – in fact, part of her was flattered – but it was overwhelming to process at first. “I guess she might not regret the other night that much then,” she managed with a strangled laugh.
“Honey, it’s pretty clear she wants a repeat performance. I wasn’t even paying all that much attention to her, but I swear I almost offered her a towel,” she chuckled.
Even though Jan was long gone, Jackie looked out of the classroom and into the hall, as if she could still catch sight of her. “I never thought I’d be relieved to be objectified,” she mused.
Brooke let out a light laugh at that. “So you’ll go talk to her?”
She shook her head as her gaze drifted back to the desk. “Not yet. Soon… Hopefully soon. I think I’ll know when I’m ready.”
“Well, other than you ogling the TA you fooled around with, I think today went well,” Gigi said as they walked back to the residence hall. “You ready for your audition later?”
“I wasn’t ogling her.” Jan chewed on her lip. “Don’t laugh, but…” She shifted awkwardly as she looked anywhere but directly at her friend. “I’m worried I might be too… distracted to nail it.”
Gigi looked at her friend with an arched brow. “First of all, yes you were. We established this. Second, you think you’ll be too horny to focus on singing?” She really did try her best not to laugh, but a small giggle slipped through. “Babe, just masturbate like a normal person before you go.”
She huffed. “Don’t you think I’ve thought of that? Lem’s probably gonna be in there, what am I supposed to do, tell her to leave so I can jerk off? We’re close, Geege, but I think there’s a line.”
“Then go in the shower. Jesus, do I have to spell it out for you?” Gigi rolled her eyes.
“You don’t think it’s weird to get off thinking about someone you’re not dating?” Jan asked quietly.
Her friend pinched the bridge of her nose. “At this point I just think you need to do it so you stop sounding so neurotic and paranoid. Hell, if I wasn’t in a committed relationship, I’d offer to help you out myself.”
Jan cocked her head to the side. “Thanks, I think.”
When Jan did get back to the dorm, she saw Lemon on her bed with her AirPods in, just as she’d anticipated. She waved at her to get her attention, waiting for her to take one of them out. “Hey sweetie, I’m just gonna shower before my audition. You know, get nice and calm,” she told her.
Lemon smiled and nodded. “Oh shit, I forgot that was today. Break a leg! But like, not in the shower. That would be bad.”
Jan chuckled as she grabbed what she needed to bring into the bathroom. “I don’t know where I’d be without your wisdom, doll,” she winked playfully before leaving.
The first thing Jan did once she got in the shower was put music on – this wasn’t her first rodeo, so to speak. Even with earbuds in, she knew she ran the risk of Lemon hearing her moan if she didn’t drown it out. With the music playing and water running, Jan undressed and stepped into the shower, letting out a sigh of relief the second the hot water hit her body.
After she washed her hair, Jan leaned against the shower wall, resting her head against the cool tile. She let her hand travel down her body. There was a moment of hesitation when her fingers grazed over her pussy, but after a deep breath, she began rubbing her clit with two fingers. Her eyes fluttered shut as soft, breathy moans slipped out.
“Fuck…” Jan wasn’t thinking about anything at first, but without even trying, her thoughts drifted to Jackie, to what happened the other night, to that day in class. And once she got started, there was no chance of stopping. “Oh, Jackie…” she moaned, rocking against her fingers. Her free hand went to her breast, groping it, and tweaking her nipple.
By the time her orgasm hit, Jan needed to rest her entire weight against the wall to keep herself up. Her legs were shaking and she was whimpering, taking deep breaths as she finally felt sturdy enough to stand back upright. After that, she just did a quick wash off her face and body before getting out and drying off, going back into the bedroom wrapped up in her robe shortly after.
“Hey, feeling any better?” Lemon asked casually. It was clear she hadn’t moved an inch this whole time, nor was she aware of what Jan had gotten up to.
“Much better, actually,” Jan nodded, taking the towel wrap off of her head and combing her hair out. “What’s your plan for the rest of the day?” she asked as she continued getting ready.
Lemon paused her music and took out her earbuds, she had been waiting for an opportunity to talk about herself. “Actually, I’m meeting up with a girl later.” She didn’t wait for Jan to ask before she continued. “Okay, so, like, I had just lit a joint and I see this really pretty girl – tall, you know how I like ‘em – and she seems hella stressed, so I offer her a hit. So, we’re smoking and chatting and long story short, we have a date tonight.”
“That was the short version?” Jan teased as she got dressed. “I’m guessing it’ll be more of the same?”
She scoffed. “No… We’ll probably fuck too.”
Jan laughed softly as she straightened her hair, then pulled it up into a high ponytail. “Well, it’s always nice to have an itinerary,” she hummed. “I’ll see you later.”
“Next!”
Jan stepped onto the stage and held herself with confidence. She introduced herself, handed the sheet music to the pianist, and then she simply did what she did best; she sang. She gave it her all, emoting all the right words, belting all the right notes. There was a lingering rush of adrenaline when she finished. “Thank you,” she smiled politely and made her way off stage.
“Great job up there,” a distinct voice out of seemingly nowhere caused Jan to jump, startled.
“Oh, thanks Vanjie,” Jan smiled, running her fingers through her ponytail. “I didn’t realize anyone other than the directors were watching.”
Vanessa shrugged. “People gave up tryna tell me what to do a long time ago. Except for Brooke, but there’s always an exception for the wife. But anyway… you feelin’ okay? I don’t know all the details, but I know you had a rough weekend.”
Of course, Jan figured Vanessa knew more than she let on – she could safely assume Jackie told Brooke, and Brooke told Vanessa. But she hoped some details had gotten lost in translation. “Oh, yeah, I guess,” she bounced awkwardly on the balls of her feet. “Things are a little weird, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“Listen, I’ve been in your shoes. The worst thing you can do is overthink it. Brooke did it, Jackie does it, and I get the vibe you do too. Not everything’s as deep as y’all make it out to be, you know?”
Jan chewed her lip and nodded. Sure, she knew Vanessa was right, but it was easier said than done. It wasn’t something she could simply stop doing, something she could just turn on and off at will. “The situation’s just… It’s complicated. But I get what you’re saying, I do,” she assured. “All I wanna focus on now is being able to sleep tonight so I can be ready to see if I got a callback tomorrow.”
Vanessa gave Jan’s arm a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “You got this. Ain’t no one around you doubting that.”
And Jan tried her best to take that to heart, she tried to stay positive the rest of the night, to turn her brain off when it was finally time to sleep. She was pretty sure she passed out at nearly three in the morning, but as soon as her alarm went off, she shot right out of bed.
Lemon rolled onto her side, watching Jan scramble to get ready with energy from god knows where. “How the fuck do you do that?” she mumbled groggily.
Jan shrugged as she brushed her hair. “It’s a blessing and a curse, Lem.” She checked her phone. “The callback list should be up by the time I get there,” she murmured, offering a quick goodbye to her roommate before she was out the door.
By the time she got to the auditorium, there was already a small group of hopeful actors forming outside the doors. And as soon as the list went up, they all crowded around it.
Too impatient to wait, Jan made her way to the front, offering haphazard apologies to everyone she bumped out of the way. It was worth it for the happiness and relief she felt when she saw that she was on the callback list for Veronica.
The first thing she did was call Gigi and did her best to not scream into the phone. “I got a callback! And there were only two other girls listed for Veronica, Geege, I’m this close to getting it. I can taste it.”
“That’s my girl, I knew you’d crush it,” Gigi replied. “You’re gonna nail the callback too, and don’t be afraid to take my advice again if you need it.”
Jan furrowed her brows. “How did you know I followed your advice?”
Gigi had a smug grin that Jan swore she could feel through the phone. “I didn’t.”
15 notes · View notes
Text
Cold, Getting Warmer
Ao3
Content Includes: Hypothermia, Remy being a smart idiot, cuddling for warmth, nonbinary!Roman Pairings: Losleep, Royality Summary: It's New Year's Eve. And while the year will always change eventually, some things never do Like how stupid Remy can be in the pursuit of the simpler things in life
Logan knew many things to be factually true. The sun rises and declares the morning from the east, and it sets and brings about nightfall in the west. There were seven continents. Human thigh bones were stronger than concrete. 
    There were also many things he knew to be true even without metaphorically cold, hard facts to support him. Pluto was a planet. Crofter’s was the best jelly in the world. And his boyfriend was never the smartest person in any room- even if he was the only one there.
    Logan didn’t mean it as a slight to Remy, he really didn’t- Remy was clever, had a great memory (especially for stars and Logan’s favorite things), was brilliant at tearing apart and putting back together just about any machine you handed him.
    But common sense-wise? Well, he wasn’t necessarily lacking in it, so much as he had a tendency to ignore it.
    A lot.
So when Logan found their house lacking in his sleep-deprived partner, but not in his beloved leather jacket (which was draped carelessly over the back of their couch), he knew Remy was off doing something inarguably foolish.
    He gave Remy the benefit of the doubt for a few hours, however. Sometimes his boyfriend was off doing good stupid things. And Logan didn’t want to be overbearing. Remy was his own adult, and he had the right to make his own horrible decisions.
    After an hour or so, however, with the weather outside getting only worse- light flurries turned into thick snow fall, the temperature only continuing to plummet- the left behind jacket became more and more worrisome. Remy wore his jacket everywhere- why would he leave it behind? Especially today, when he really could use every protection from the cold?
    As soon as Logan started entertaining that thought, he knew his attempt to let Remy be responsibly stupid were forfeit. He tried to push it off for a few minutes, but there was something to be said about anxiety running in his family (for the best example, see his brother, one of his nicknames literally being ‘anxiety’), and the possibilities that abandoned jacket offered were not ones Logan was willing to risk becoming true.
    Logan pulled on his winter coat, adding a scarf and gloves while he stuffed Remy’s into his pockets. He put on his boots as he grabbed his boyfriend’s jacket, grabbed a few heating packs just to be safe, and set out.
    Despite his preparations to the opposite, however, Logan didn’t have to travel far to find Remy. He was only a few steps outside when he spotted him, his boyfriend pressed against the side of their house only a stone’s throw away from the door. His face was pressed against the wall, sunglasses completely slipped down his nose, revealing that his eyes were closed. He looked small like that, sitting in snow up to his waist, only in a t-shirt and jeans and yet only shaking a little bit.
    Logan felt his breath catch in his throat, every detail about Remy’s condition categorizing itself in his mind until only one word remained: hypothermia.
    After all, he had been (presumably) outside for over an hour, in minimal protective clothing, and now he appeared to be asleep, barely shaking despite how frigid it was, and what if he had been out here too long, how long had he been sleeping, would he even wake up,
    Logan shook his head, hard. He couldn’t let himself think like that, at least not until he had properly accessed Remy’s condition. He quickly made his way over to his boyfriend, crouching down the moment he was next to Remy. He picked up his wrist, checking his pulse. About sixty-four beats per minute. Not great, but not extremely worrisome. Yet.
    Moving his hand from Remy’s wrist to his own hand, slowly rubbing at his fingers and trying to get warmth back into them before they turned blue, Logan reached out his other hand to cup Remy’s cheek, gently shaking him. “Remy? Remy, can you hear me?”
    Immediately, Remy’s eyes fluttered open, blinking at Logan in confusion as Remy struggled to focus on Logan. When he did, a wide grin broke over Remy’s face, and before Logan could react his boyfriend was throwing himself at Logan, head awkwardly smashing into Logan’s neck, arms loosely but energetically wrapping around Logan.
    “There you are.” Remy mumbled into Logan’s neck. “‘Was waiting for you.”
    “Waiting for me?” Logan repeated as his hands started to run up and down Remy’s back. He was nearly frozen, his back covered in goosebumps Logan could feel through his shirt, and his arms felt like ice cubes pressed against Logan. “Why were you waiting for me? Were you locked out?”
    “Nah.” Remy answered. “‘Was waiting for you.”
    Logan frowned. That wasn’t helpful. Or comforting. “Alright.” He said, letting the matter drop for the moment. His top priority was getting Remy warm. “Can you stand?”
    “With help.” Remy told him, wiggling his hips for emphasis. “I’m a lil’ trapped.”
    “Alright.” Logan repeated as he nodded, looking at the room around Remy’s hips- or, better put, the lack of it. The snow had likely built up around him while he had been out here.
    It took Logan a minute to free Remy, digging out a little room for him before standing up and pulling him to his feet. To Logan’s surprise, Remy’s legs did have a bit of feeling still in them, despite having been trapped beneath the snow for who-knows-how-long. Knowing this, Logan pulled one of Remy’s arms over his shoulder, taking his hand and sliding his other arm over Remy’s shoulders as well, allowing Remy to lean heavily on him as they slowly but surely made their way back to the front door.
    Once inside, Logan guided Remy to the couch, unconcerned with getting it wet or messy as he placed his boyfriend on it. He settled Remy against it before disappearing for a few seconds, running to grab clothes for Remy to change into. He came away with fuzzy coffee pj pants he was certain were Remy’s, a NASA shirt that was his but easy to grab, and some mismatched socks.
    As easy as it was to collect a change of clothes, getting Remy’s current ones off was about ten times harder. The shirt came off alright once Remy actually cooperated with Logan. The pants, damp and half-frozen, were much more of a fight, but eventually they came off (not without a substantial amount of effort on Logan’s behalf, however).
    Remy was much more willing to be put into the change of clothes, happily running his fingers over the fuzz of his pj pants and seeming very excited to get to wear one of Logan’s shirts (despite the fact that he stole one of them every other day of the week). For a almost-should-be-dead man, Logan reflected, Remy sure was cute.
    Actually putting the shirt on Remy turned out to be a minor challenge, not because Remy resisted the action, but because he immediately latched onto Logan when he got close enough to pull the shirt over Remy’s messy brown curls. Normally, Logan would have indulged the spontaneous cuddling, but he still needed to make Remy some tea and ransack the house for blankets.
    Knowing he would be able to cuddle with Remy in ten minutes, after he had collected the necessary supplies, didn’t make having to pull himself away from his boyfriend any easier. Logan was already in a hurry to get everything done, but the puppy eyes Remy was giving him, fully unleashed since his sunglasses had been aside, gave him the spur of energy he needed to get everything together in just over five minutes.
    “Logannnnnnnnnnnn.” Remy whined as Logan plopped several blankets on top of him, pulling them around his shoulders and twisting them around him completely. Of course, they wouldn’t help much until Remy was producing his own heat to be trapped, but the tea was almost ready, and once Logan had that he was more than happy to act as his boyfriend’s source of heat.
    “Yes?” Logan asked as he avoided another arm trying to prematurely trap him in cuddles.
    “Why won’t you hooooooold meeeeeeee.”
    “Because your tea’s not done yet.” Logan responded as he stopped for a moment, pressing a hand against Remy’s chest. It was still unnaturally cold to the touch. “And I am well-aware that once I start holding you, you will not let me leave to get the tea. So you have to wait a little longer.”
    Remy scowled at that but didn’t respond, instead choosing to grab Logan’s hand, holding it in both of his, seemingly happy with the moment of compromise. Logan sighed.
    “I just don’t know what happened.” He said, not really expecting a response from Remy. Not yet, anyways. “You never go anywhere without your jacket. Why did you leave it behind this time?”
    Remy hummed. “Left it on purpose. Duh.”
    Logan’s eyebrows raised at that. “You- You what?”
    Before Remy could respond, the shriek of the kettle sounded off in the background, prompting Logan to (gently) pry his hand away from Remy. “I’ll be right back.” He promised before hurrying over to get the kettle, pouring the water and plunking in the tea bag as quickly as he could manage without burning himself. He quickly got back to Remy, who was still looking annoyed over Logan once more abandoning him.
    “You better be here to stay this time.” Remy said as Logan approached, pouting. Logan chuckled as he pressed the mug into Remy’s hands.
    “Don’t drink that yet.” He ordered. “The tea bag needs to soak, but the external warmth it can provide you will be good for you in the meanwhile.” He explained as he moved the blankets around just enough to slip into them himself, having long ago shed his winter gear. As soon as he had tucked them both back completely into the blanket pile, Remy shoved himself into Logan’s chest, careful to not spill his drink as he pressed himself as close to Logan as physically possible.
    “You’re warmer.” Remy murmured, and Logan’s mouth quirked into a smile.
    “I’m not surprised.” He admitted, wrapping his arms around Remy, gently running them over his back, trying to warm up the blood there.
Silence stretched between them for a minute or so, Remy content to just rest against Logan. Eventually, however, Logan broke it, asking, “Remy… what did you mean when you said you left the house without your jacket on purpose?”
“I meant what I said, babes.” Remy responded, and Logan took a little bit of comfort in the fact that he was once more using nicknames, though not much in his response itself.
“Why didn’t you take your jacket with you if you were heading outside?” Logan pressed. “It’s too cold to be out without something, Remy, you know that. And you were outside for so long- why didn’t you ring the doorbell? Or knock on a window?”
“I already told you. I was out there on purpose.” Remy replied easily.
Logan frowned. “Why? Were you looking for something?”
Remy shrugged his shoulders by a fraction. “You could say that.”
“But with it so cold- why would you go looking for something without your jacket?! And how would you find anything just… sitting in the snow?”
“Well, I wasn’t sitting the entire time.” Remy defended. “I walked around at first. But you were taking forever to come looking for me, so eventually I got tired and, yes, I sat down.”
“To come looking for you…” Logan paused, frown deepening. “Remy, what were you looking for?”
Remy didn’t respond, only tilting his head a bit to look up more fully at Logan.
“Remy.” Logan repeated. “What were you looking for?”
“...Cuddles.”
Logan didn’t respond to that for a moment, instead just blinking in bewilderment at his boyfriend, who was still looking at him as if he were innocent. “You-” Logan started, stopped himself, blinked some more, and tried again, “You gave yourself hypothermia so I’d cuddle you?!”
“I didn’t give myself hypothermia.” Remy protested. “I just… encouraged my core temperature to do the metaphorical limbo.”
“Remy!”
“Alright, alright, I might have given myself hypothermia. Just a little bit.”
‘Why?!” Logan demanded. “If you wanted to cuddle you could have just asked!”
“There’s no fun in that.” Remy replied lightly, despite the fact that this was what Logan would consider a very serious situation. “And this way I knew you’d have to cuddle me instead of doing something stupid like working.”
“My work isn’t stupid.” Logan defended, though he didn’t know why that mattered in the moment. The response was more instinctual than anything.
“I know, hun, I know.” Remy assured him. “But you trying to do it on New Year’s Eve is. So I had to find a way to drag you from it. Plus, cuddles are, like, scientifically proven to be better when there’s more of a heat difference.”
“That’s not science.” Logan corrected, the shock in his voice beginning to fully fall away into unabashed worry. “What’s science is the fact that what you did was stupid.”
“That sounds like an opinion to me, really.”
“An opinion based in solid fact.” Logan replied, voice softening as he continued, “You could have given yourself serious hypothermia doing that, or a bad case of frostbite, or- Remy, you could have die-”
“Hey, none of that now.” Remy cut Logan off before he could finish, sitting up a bit so he was more at eye level with his boyfriend. “I wasn’t going to die. I’m not that stupid.”
“But you could have.” Logan insisted. Remy shook his head.
“No, I couldn’t have.” Remy said. “Cold-blood runs in the family, sugar; why do you think I wear my jacket everywhere? I know how to handle myself in the cold. I was being perfectly safe while I was being stupid.”
“And if something had gone wrong?” Logan pushed. He was still holding Remy, but his grip was tighter now, the weight of what had happened hitting him harder than he would have preferred to admit to. “Then what?”
“I would have gotten you.”
“And how would you have done that? Your phone was in your jacket pocket, and you got yourself stuck in the snow. If I hadn’t come out for you-”
“I still would have been fine.” Remy interrupted him, one hand moving from holding his tea mug to cupping one of Logan’s cheeks. The touch was warm, mostly due to the warmth of the mug, but Logan was hopeful to say at least a little of it was Remy’s natural warmth finally starting to come back to him. “You’re trying to make all the ‘what-if’s’ worse than they were or are, sweetheart.”
“I’m trying to prove a point.” Logan replied.
Remy just hummed. “But you can’t. Because I was being safe. I was purposeful when I sat down. I was right underneath the window to the living room, where you always sit when you’re worried about me but don’t want to chase after me if I’m just doing normal stupid things. If I had started to feel warm or anything else warning-flag-y I would’ve knocked on the glass, and you would’ve come out and saved me like the perfect princely boyfriend you are.”
Logan managed a small smile at that. “That’s Patton’s partner. And the two of them are coming over tonight to watch the ball drop with us, I must remind you.”
Remy moved the hand cupping Logan’s cheek to press a finger firmly into Logan’s chest. “You have more royalty in your pinkie than Roman does in their entire body, darling. And you’re prettier. And smarter. And I’m pretty sure stronger. Oh, and definitely cuter.”
“You are trying to avoid the points of importance.”
“Every point I just made were, by themselves, more important than literally anything else in the entire world, coffee included.” Remy countered, though the finger he had been poking into Logan’s chest was replaced by Remy simply pressing his palm against his chest instead. “And Roman and Patton are always touchy feely. I don’t care if they have to deal with us cuddling while they’re here.”
“And if I mind?” Logan asked, teasingly.
“Then I guess it sucks to be you, buttercup.” Remy answered, finally taking a sip of his tea as he snuggled up even closer to Logan. “Because I am still very, very cold, and I think I will be for the rest of the year.”
“Ha ha.” Logan deadpanned, one of his hands pushing up the edge of Remy’s shirt, running along his skin. Though he was beginning to warm up, Remy was still much colder than Logan ever wanted his boyfriend to be. Logan started to rub circles into Remy’s skin, prompting his boyfriend to tilt his head back up at him once more.
“Don’t do that again.” Logan said quietly, looking more at Remy’s shoulder than his face. He could still see the soft smile that graced Remy’s face, however, laced with fondness and the slightest regret.
“I won’t.” Remy promised just as quietly, pressing his head against Logan’s neck reassuringly, his skin still cold but getting steadily warmer. “Promise.”
Logan just hummed at that, but it was a good hum as he slightly tugged Remy even closer, his boyfriend more or less in his lap at this point as he attempted to fully surround Remy in warmth.
And Logan was forced to admit that, for all the stupidity that had lead up to it, Remy might have a point about the best cuddles having a heat difference.
~~
By the time their guests were ringing the doorbell, night had fallen, and both Logan and Remy were in (more or less) the exact same positions they had been ten hours ago
They had done a bit of moving around in that time, of course, but with Logan’s desire to keep Remy cocooned and warm and Remy making Logan leaving him alone an Olympic sport, instances of them moving were few and far between. They had gotten up for a couple of assorted bathroom breaks, and Logan twice to get snacks, but that was about it. Their life for the last day of the year had mostly been cuddling, snacking, and watching the first season of Elementary.
The pattern didn’t change when they heard the knock- Logan calling out, “Come in!” while Remy fumbled for the remote, switching the tv over to the Ball Drop festivities. The doorknob turned and the door pressed open, having been left unlocked in Logan’s earlier haste to take care of Remy.
“The party has arrived!” Roman exclaimed as they threw open the door, a few grocery bags hanging off of one arm and Patton on their other, both of them smiling broadly.
Logan turned to face them, looking unimpressed. “You’re late. The Ball’s only a few minutes from dropping.” He said, Remy half-waving at the guests, still pressed against Logan’s chest while he lectured their late arrivals.
“We’re arriving fashionably late.” Roman explained away while Patton closed the door. One of Roman’s eyebrows raised in amusement when they fully realized the position Logan and Remy were in. “Are we interrupting something?”
“Only the peaceful silence you always seem to be at war with.” Logan replied, smirking when Roman looked offended. “My boyfriend gave himself hypothermia earlier today. I am simply ensuring his core temperature remains at a steady and healthy temperature.”
“Hypothermia?!” Patton repeated worriedly, detaching himself from Roman to move over to the bundled-up boyfriends. He worriedly placed a hand on Remy’s forehead, which had by then regained its usual temperature of slightly cool to the touch.
“He’s alright now, Patton, no need to be distressed.” Logan assured him, even as the self-deemed Dad Friend still fretted over the fact that Remy was vaguely cool. “He just refuses to let me leave him alone.”
“If he tries to stop cuddling me I start whining aggressively and annoyingly.” Remy confirmed, snuggling closer to Logan’s chest to prove his point. “I plan to start the New Year in the arms of the best person to literally ever exist.”
“Patton is right there.” Roman pointed out as they dropped their grocery bags on the coffee table in front of Logan and Remy. They wrapped around Patton from behind, managing to get a little squeak of joy from their boyfriend despite his worrying over Remy as Roman added, “And I’m right behind him.”
Remy stared Roman down. “I am well aware.”
“Nerd, I hate to inform you that your boyfriend is an idiot, but considering he just dared to say you are better than both me and my sunshine, I have concluded that he must be.” Roman said in mock offense, refusing to look at Remy.
“Oh, Remy is an idiot.” Logan agreed, getting a faux shocked gasp from said boyfriend before he continued, “But he is right in that aspect.”
Roman’s look of offense only grew. “I can’t believe you both insulted the love of your life and became an idiot yourself.”
“It’s not an insult if it’s true.” Logan countered. “How do you think Remy got hypothermia?”
Roman shrugged. “By getting cold.”
Logan looked at them, unamused by their broad grin at what they clearly thought was a clever answer, before answering correctly, “By going outside without his jacket and wandering aimlessly in the cold and snow until I dragged him back inside.”
Both Roman and Patton’s eyes widened at this revelation, turning to look at an unashamed Remy. “You did what?!” Patton demanded. Remy just smirked at him.
“You heard my man.” He said, casually leaning his head back on Logan’s shoulder. “I went right on out and froze myself.”
“And, pray tell, why did you think this was a wise decision?” Roman asked incredulously.
“Oh, I didn’t.” Remy admitted easily. “I just thought it was the decision that was most likely to get me a lot of cuddles. And look where I am now! Living the life.”
Logan shook his head slightly, though he looked amused. “He is incredibly lucky that I love him, despite his complete lack of common sense.”
Remy turned his head slightly to the side so that he could press a small kiss against Logan’s chin. “Well I already knew that, Procyon. Anyone’d be lucky to attract the love of a star.”
Logan’s cheeks faintly tinged red at that. “Oh, hush you.” He ordered quietly, though he followed it by pressing a kiss to Remy’s forehead and smiling at him.
While they were distracted with each other, Roman nodded to themself, slowly letting go of Patton as they snuck backwards towards the front door. “That’s gay guys, really gay.”
“We are plenty aware.” Remy said as he reached up, tangling his hands in Logan’s hair and beginning to comb through it. “And where are you going, Mx. Gayest-of-them-all? The Ball’s about to drop.”
“Oh, I’m just going to step outside for a moment.” Roman said easily, taking another step backwards even as the entire group turned to look at them. “Think I… left something in the car.”
“Ro-Ro.” Patton said, an eyebrow raising. “Sweetie, did you really leave something in the car?”
Roman didn’t respond, standing in place for a moment, staring at the others with a blank face before they darted for the door, clearly inspired by Remy’s tale of frozen cuddles. Before either Remy or Logan could say anything, or Roman could reach the door, however, Patton had flung himself across the room, slamming into Roman’s back and taking them both down a few feet from the door. Roman had thrown their hands out ahead of them in time, luckily, catching both of them from being actually hurt when they hit the ground.
Patton’s arms snaked around Roman’s chest, rolling over and sitting up as he did so, ending up with Roman held firmly against his chest and and in his lap. “Nope!” He declared, setting his head on top of Roman’s. “You are not giving yourself hypothermia too!”
“But Patton!! Cuddles!!” Roman whined, attempting to escape Patton’s grasp and failing miserably. Patton only pulled them closer to his chest before standing up, eliciting a yelp from Roman as he used his tight grip on Roman to carry them all the way over to the couch. Patton sat down on the end opposite of Logan and Remy, ignoring their matching amused smirks as he set Roman back down in his lap, hold on them still gentle but tough.
“You can have all the cuddles you want without getting yourself sick.” Patton berated lightly, moving to tuck Roman closer against him, pressing a small kiss into their hair as he did so.
“But- but Patton, the drama!” Roman protested, seemingly not content with the fact that they had already gotten the cuddles they sought, now focused on the dramatics and fanfare of nearly freezing to death instead. Remy chuckled as the couple play fought, which mostly involved Roman trying and failing to escape Patton’s arms.
“Do you think they’ve noticed…?” Remy asked his own boyfriend, glancing over at the tv screen that was now counting down the final minute of the year, the Ball having begun to make its annual descent.
Logan watched the ‘quarreling’ couple for a moment before he answered, noticing how Roman’s eyes were focused on the door whereas Patton’s were flashing between the countdown and his beloved. “I think one of them does, yes, but not the oh-so-charming prinx.”
“Good.” Remy said. “I like when they get their romance thrown in their own face. If we get lucky, Roman will be so caught off guard they’ll be quiet for the rest of the night.”
“Now that would be a true New Year’s miracle.” Logan commented with a grin.
“Y’know what else would be a true New Year’s miracle?” Remy asked as he shifted, moving so that he was more facing Logan, loosely draping his arms over Logan’s shoulders. He cocked his head to the side and smirked. “Getting kissed by a star.”
Logan smirked right back at Remy, well aware the count-down was approaching its final ten seconds as he tugged his boyfriend closer. He stopped barely a breath from Remy’s lips, waiting for the year to truly begin as he filled the final few seconds with a murmured, “Then I must be the most miraculous man in the world, getting to kiss you every day.”
And if Remy turned a shade red at that, that was alright, because then there was an explosion of noise crackling from the tv just as Logan closed the rest of the gap between them, and both of them were entirely too busy paying attention to their first kiss of the year than silly details.
And if that meant they missed the moment where Patton cut Roman off halfway through another ridiculous explanation about why Patton really should let them go freeze for just a few minutes with a kiss, Roman too distracted to respond outside of kissing him back, perfectly red by the time Patton pulled back, grinning from ear to ear as he peppered his partner’s still shocked face with even more kisses, than that was alright too.
After all, it was just the beginning of the year. There’d be plenty of time for more kisses, blushes, and flusters to come.
162 notes · View notes
katsuukiwii · 3 years
Note
Could I get a matchup for AOT, Black Butler and MHA, please? 😊
Personality: I push myself REALLY hard. I have a lot of willpower and am VERY stubborn. I try to be highly independent, usually to a fault. I don't like asking for help and it takes me a very long time to realize and admit I need it.
I'm distrusting and cynical and have been through a lot. I get stressed out really easy and am anxious and depressed. But my anxiety is usually hostile/aggressive. When I get anxious or stressed, I usually lash out or try to control things. When I'm depressed I usually shut down completely or dissociate really bad. (Wow this sounds so negative when I type this.)
This combination (being stubborn and refusing help, but also being very handicapped) is harmful to myself and I've begun to finally realize that. I've been gradually trying to accept help from others more and allow myself to not live up to unrealistic standards. I would need someone who is supportive of this and someone would help me stop pushing myself into oblivion.
On a more positive note, when I'm not stressed or being combative, I really love life and am one of those people that appreciates seemingly insignificant things that most people take for granted. I'm also very sensory oriented. Even something really small can greatly lift my mood, like a nice breeze or rain or a flower. I like being outside for a part of the day because of this.
I can be a little weird and don't really care too much tbh. I do weird or sometimes childish/childlike things like chase/stalk geese or immitate animal sounds. I can also be very mischievous if my mental health has been doing well for a long time and I am happy. I will pull pranks or be evasive when speaking or play (not malicious) mind games.
I also tend to love VERY deeply when I fall in love. I feel very strong emotion and affection towards that person, am fiercely loyal and am usually sacrificial to a fault for them (again, push myself too hard).
I'm easily crushed if that person I love abuses my love or neglects me.
(I also hate very intensely too and can be very petty, spiteful and vengeful. Just strong emotions, I guess.)
Sexually, I honestly can't see myself being dominant even if I tried. I probably would try, but would fall apart. I also have a very big masochistic streak. I like very intimate sex. Not necessarily soft, slow or gentle (but it could be these), just physically and emotionally intimate.
That's it cause I don't want to type too much and make this super long! Thank you very much, you are great! 😞 Matchups can be hard, I appreciate your effort!!
Matchups!
No, no, thank you for making this long! I got a lot of details from it! I appreciate the appreciation! It SOUNDS negative, but I know people PERSONALLY who have experienced similar things to you (from what I read) and have seen these sorts of things, so I hope I gave you good results! Im glad you were willing to be so open, even if it’s through anon, that stuff can be hard to talk about ^^
Attack On Titan:
Tumblr media
I ship you with Reiner Braun!
He doesn’t know EXACTLY what you’re going through, but he does his hardest to try and understand so he can help you out. He’s dealt with some issues on his own, and knows that its no fun to experience it on your own!
Your can get aggressive, all good! Reiner knows you truly don’t mean any harm towards him, you just have a lot on your mind that you need to let out.
He wants you to come to him if anything is on your mind, good or bad! He wants you to know that he’s there for you, and that he loves you no matter what! He gets so happy when you say that you want to reach out to people, and get help
Now, onto happier things! He loves taking you on walks, especially if it’s raining! He likes to get outside too, so he doesn’t mind a bit!
He’s uh...not the smartest, so mind games can confuse him! He loves to pull pranks with you, usually on poor Connie, or Jean.
He understands that you like to be independent, but he also knows that nobody is capable of doing everything! He likes for you to admit if you need help with something, since it helps you learn, but if you refuse to he’ll just try and have you do something else while he helps. It doesn’t work often, but he still tries!
He doesn’t mind your weird side! He’ll watch you stalk geese, but won’t actually join you. It doesn’t make him ashamed, it’s just not his thing. As usual, if you REALLY want him to, he will.
BUT he does like to try and imitate animal sounds with you, he thinks if silly!
For sex, you’re submissive, all good! I picture him being more of a top anyway! So, you like something kind of rough, but intimate, and loving, and he’s totally cool with that as well! It fits him perfectly! Plus he’s a big guy, so sometimes he can unintentionally hurt you (not horribly), and he’ll apologize even if you liked it.
Aftercare g o d. Always makes sure you feel okay, and comfortable about what happened! He’ll make sure you’re nice and clean, and then give you some snuggles if you want!
Runner-Ups: Erwin Smith and Armin Arlert
My Hero Academia:
Tumblr media
I ship you with Eijiro Kirishima!
It takes Kirishima a minute to get used to your hostility (only when you have those moments, ofc). He doesn’t really know what to do until one day, where he doesn’t force you to do anything. He speaks to you in a gentle voice,
“I’m not going to force you to do anything. But I would really appreciate it if you just....opened up to me. I’m not sure how to help you out, I need you to show me. So can we talk, please?”
You try to be more open after that, and in all honesty, it didn’t just help you, but it helped him. A LOT. He just wants to do his best for you!
Yes, maybe he has called people whiny before, but he still knows that emotions are very important. Everybody has to let them out every now and then!
He will NOT take your for granted. Not just because it’s “manly”, but because he cares so much about you, and he wants you to know that you aren’t alone!
Now, he, unlike Reiner will TOTALLY chase geese with you AND imitate animal sounds! He’s a child at heart as well. He’ll take a walk outside with you! He prefers to be inside, but he doesn’t hate it! Plus he loves to see how calm you are when letting the rain fall on our hand, on taking in the vibrant colors of a flower!
He’ll catch on to SOME of your mind games, but he can get stumped! You often pull pranks on him, and he still laughs about it and has fun! What a sweetheart!
During sex, he’s all good with being on top! He will be a bit reluctant to hurt you if you ask, but eventually you’ll make him comfortable enough to be a little rough, nothing to far though!
He IS a switch, but he’s absolutely fine with you wanting to be on bottom! The only thing is that he is very sensitive physically, so he can get vocal. SO even if he is on top, his face could be bright red with his eyes shut tight, it’s cute!
Runner-Ups: Hizashi Yamada and Shouta Aizawa
Black Butler:
Tumblr media
I ship you with Sebastian Michaelis!
This man is probably one of the BEST options for you, honestly!
He knows just how to calm you down almost right off the bat! Of course, everybody requires a bit of adjustment, but for him it was a piece of cake!
Of course, he can get a bit annoyed if you get SUPER aggressive, but that doesn’t mean he hates you! He still cares about you so much, but it can be a lot, even for him. 
He makes sure you get the help you need!
Let’s be honest, most of us know that scene with Beast. He CAN be manipulative, but he would N E V E R do it towards you. He’ll tell you and show you. So he will praise you in bed if you need it, or even if he feels like it.
You absolutely cannot play mind games with him. He’s too smart. If anything it’ll turn into him playing a (not malicious) mind game on you. He likes to tease you, but he makes sure not to take it too far!
Absolutely will not chase geese. It’s not for him. He will only do it if you wanted him to catch one. In that case, he could probably catch a few with his skills!
He doesn’t imitate animals sounds with you...in public, that is. In private, he likes to as well! He’s not quite sure why.
And now, for sex! We’ve seen the scene with the nun. This man goes HARD! Of course, he can be gentle, but it’s in his nature to be rougher than the average person. If you want him to be gentle, he will. BUT if you do want a little pain he is totally down. Definitely a sadist. He fine with you being on bottom!
Runner-Ups:  Adrian Crevan and Claude Faustus
5 notes · View notes
r6s-imagines · 4 years
Note
44 with Maverick please?
for sure! i’ve recently purchased maverick and hoo boy his voice is something else.
side note: i wanted this to work so bad, i dug my heels into the mud and powered through every block i faced!! i also got kinda carried away so it’s pretty lengthy
maverick x reader >> is she pretty?
•••
MASTERLIST
requested: yes!!!!
warnings: cursing, a lil sadness
prompts:
#44: “if i could marry anyone, i’d still choose you.”
the prompt list can be found here
•••
summary: with all of the time erik spends on his work, your mind begins to believe that he’s found other partners besides yourself.
•••
erik wasn’t hard to love, despite the doubts of others.
erik’s always been closed off, careful to keep his emotions at bay and substitute the suppression with the examination. it was a miracle you stuck around after the first date, he’d say. it was always your job to speak and his job to analyze every word. you’ve only admitted it once or twice, but you found your thighs tightening just watching his piercing gaze. he trusted nobody as much as you, cutting his hair, choosing his outfits or providing advice to improve suri. you saw his scars, his tears, and his laughs, and you loved every inch of his being. while erik rarely verbally expressed his affection, the thought was never neglected. when there’s time, he’ll climb into the bed late at night and wrap his arms around your waist, sighing into your ear. if you asked, he’d talk for hours about this and that from kabul, how you needed to try this food or learn this phrase in dari.
if erik wasn’t tinkering away with suri at your shared apartment, he was at the operative’s base, fighting for what’s right and ensuring the safety of his teammates. it just so happened that his most recent departure was to last half a year, sans electronics or any form of communication to protect against interference.
no calls, texts. you would have forgotten his face if it weren’t for the photos from the years. your mother would always tell you it was about time to marry that man, but you wanted to wait. if thorn was going to call you his, he’d wait on his own time. your mother would heckle him on the limited days he’d spend with his second parents, “discreetly” bringing up your ring size or inquire about the best man, if he had to choose. he’d merely exhale with a polite smile, picking at the food. you silently agreed with his wordless response. neither of you needed a certificate to prove your bond, while it may have been a sweet gesture if provided at any time.
erik kept his eyes on a photo of you whenever he could. it was always tucked into a pocket for quick access. during a close situation, he’d wring his hands, feeling over the tattoo of your initials on his ring finger through his gloves.
if only he could tell you he did such.
as one month turned to two and two turned to three, you began to pace anxiously, wondering how your lover was from a world away. you went through his office, perusing through the operator files and transcripts of his data, just to read his psychological profile and smile at the accuracy. you went through his rewards and souvenirs of his time in kabul, locating a spare outfit of the one he wore to missions. some days you’d wear his coat in public, and others you’d shrivel up into a fetal position under it and weep into the sleeve. your heart ached more than anything to rekindle the scents of him in your living space. you were empty, half of a person.
could he be... you perished the thought. don’t even think about it, he’s the smartest man you know! he wouldn’t put his life on the line like that! even in your nightmares, you’d watch him on the battlefield, a fallen soldier with his eyes open for the last time. you told yourself you’d love him despite any flaws, but the idea of him learning to reuse a lost limb haunted your deepest conscience. you just hoped that, more than anything, he’d be the same erik thorn that you met on that fateful day.
as you’re going through the files for what feels like the thousandth time, you finally notice a note previously missed.
“synergies: iq’s r.e.d. works exceptionally well with maverick, and it’s a blessing that the two of them are so compatible.“
“i’ve never heard of an iq,” you said, scrunching your nose. your eyes trailed down to the bottom of the page.
“additional operator’s notes:
‘he’s unlike anything i’ve seen. it’s no mystery he carries himself well; he deserves the spotlight for his extraordinary performance.’
—monika ‘iq’ weiss”
monika? you’ve never heard of her. your heart plummeted, assuming the worst. if you’ve never heard the name from his lips, and they seem to be so close, there was really only one conclusion: he was hiding her from you. but erik wouldn’t do that, right?
...right?
the next few days left you torn. the only person that seemed to want you was your bed, and you could no longer even look into his area of the room without feeling like you were intruding on this mystery woman’s side.
three months turned to four and four turned to five and a half. the idea of counting the days left on your fingers was thrilling, and you couldn’t wait to be back in his arms. the arms that another girl’s been in, your conscience spat at you. you shake your head, hard enough to remove any bad thoughts. it clawing never ceased, though, and you wanted to just cry from seeing his face. you never wanted to bring it up in fear of ruining what the two of you have been building for several years. if you pretended enough, it wouldn’t become a problem.
the day finally came.
you weren’t necessarily a trophy wife, but you prided in being able to make a full, home-cooked meal. just as you’re garnishing a pasta dish, you heard keys jingle into the lock. your knees nearly gave in but you pushed on, wiping your hands on your jeans and turning towards the entrance with a sincere smile.
his back faced you first, locking the door behind him. your heart jumped at the surreal experience, watching his tired movements complete actions he’d done for years prior. he slowly spun, eyes meeting you own. his glance was empty, more exhausted than you’ve ever seen him. his hair had grown out to his shoulders and his beard was begging for a razor. had you not known that his hair was past due before he left, you’d say he looked just like the time back in kabul, disheveled. you took slow strides, taking in every detail of his face before wrapping your arms around his middle. he placed his around your neck and held you close, breathing heavily to stop any tears. it was quiet, no words needed to be exchanged.
“i missed you,” he said lowly, voice cracking slightly. you smiled, blinking a tear from your lashes.
“i missed you too.”
it took a full minute to separate and you took off his jacket, leading him with a hand to the dining room.
“i can’t remember the last time i ate food that wasn’t packaged,” he observed, grabbing a fork and looking up. “you’re off.”
“off? how do you mean?” you swallowed. erik’s profile literally states how well he is at reading people. no amount of acting could stop his analytical gaze from staring straight into your soul. “i’m alright.”
“i’ve known you for nine years, i know when you’re lying to me.” you sighed, downing your wine.
“monika?” you mumbled to see if he would pick it up.
“what about her?” so he acknowledges it.
“who’s that?”
“coworker,” he elaborated. “why’d you ask?”
“you like her at all?”
his brows furrowed and he leaned back, tilting his head.
“yes, i’d say so. she gets the job done and she knows what she’s doing.”
“and?”
“that’s the end of it,” he took a bite.
“is she pretty?”
“what is this about?” erik placed his hands on the table, not loud enough to be called a slam, but it got the message across. you shrunk in your seat, feeling embarrassed just bringing it up. “did you go through my copy of my profile?” you nodded slowly. he stood up straighter than before.
“y/n. we’re coworkers,” he emphasized, face still. “did you really think that—“
“i dont know what i thought! i’ve never heard you talk about her and it’s been a long time—“
“six months is nothing compared to the years i’ve spent with you,” erik arose. “she happens to have a gadget that works well with my own. we need to communicate to get anything done.” you placed your head in your hands, flushed. just when you thought he was done, he continued to speak.
“i love you too much to even think of it. every minute i spent on mission, i had you in my head. i came real close to the end at one point. do you know what i said? ‘what is y/n going to say?’ i wouldn’t leave you, ever. you’re the reason i’m still standing, so if you think you’re worth any less than you are, then for the first time in ages, you’re wrong. never underestimate yourself,” as he spoke, he moved closer, embracing you once more. his scruffy chin rested on top of your head, jaw bouncing as he murmured every word. “i’d live for you, because i couldn’t stand to part from your side. i swear, those six months felt like hell and seeing you here isn’t real. i really didn’t think i had separation anxiety since that first date. you closed that door behind you and i felt so alone, i never knew how isolated i was from happiness.”
he parted, reaching to his hung jacket and fishing into the pocket. his large hand concealed the item, but you already began to cry at the thought.
“and i want this to remind you,” he got onto one knee, fumbling with the box before opening it. “if i could marry anyone, i’d still choose you.”
he didn’t even have to pop the question, you were already nodding and wiping your cheeks from the spilling emotions. he took the ring from the box, placing it on your finger.
“i planned for a different scenario,” erik admitted. “but any moment is perfect with you.”
“that’s so cheesy,” you said, smiling goofily. “i would’ve said yes any day.” you leaned into a kiss, sharing a moment of happiness for half a minute or so. “i love you.”
“i love you too,” erik replied. “please don’t forget that.”
100 notes · View notes
notalwaysthevillian · 5 years
Text
After Class
Happy birthday to @teacupfulofstarshine! I hope your day is wonderful and that you know the wife squad loves you :D
Warnings: Kissing, anxiety
Pairings: Romantic analogical, brotherly prinxiety
Word count: 1.2k
See me after class?
The words written in a near chicken scratch at the top of the failed paper had Virgil’s pulse racing. Thankfully Mr. Sanders had handed the papers back just before class ended, so he didn’t have to freak out during the entirety of the forty-minute period.
Just the last five minutes. Five minutes spent tracing his soulmate tattoo and wondering how someone could ever love a mess like him.
When the bell rang, he waited for everyone to leave before making his way over to the metal desk covered in playbills.
Mr. Sanders took one look at Virgil’s face before he was on his feet, arms open wide. Virgil ducked into the warm embrace, unable to stop his body from trembling.
“Shh, it’s alright. I’m sorry, I should’ve asked in a different way.” Mr. Sanders gently rubbed Virgil’s back.
After a moment, Virgil pulled away. “Is this about my grades?”
“I’ve noticed that they’re starting to dip.” Sitting down, Mr. Sanders pulled up Virgil’s grades from the past semester. “You were doing great at the start of the year, but they’ve been slowly declining. Is something going on at home? Are you doing alright?”
Slipping his fingers into his hoodie, Virgil mumbled, “They’re putting me on a new anxiety medication, but they have to wean me off the other one first. And when I look at the amount of work I have to do…”
“You panic.”
Virgil nodded, his eyes glued to the floor.
“Mr. Sanders? You asked for me?”
Logan Barnes stood in the doorway of the classroom.
“Yes! Logan, come in.” Mr. Sanders waved him over. “Do you know Virgil?”
“Yes, I believe we share Chemistry?” Logan asked, his gorgeous blue eyes focused on Virgil through the thin black frames of his glasses.
A blush crept up Virgil’s neck at the phrasing. “Yeah, fifth period with Mr. Foote.”
“I’m glad you already know each other!” Turning, Mr. Sanders looked at Logan. “I was hoping that you could help Virgil out with some studying techniques.”
“I’d be happy to, but why do you need my assistance?” Logan asked, curiosity sparkling in his eyes. “If you’d rather not say, I understand.”
“No, it’s - I - my anxiety…” Tumbled out of Virgil’s mouth, making him cringe. “Sorry. My anxiety has gotten bad again because my doctor is switching my meds.”
“I see.” Virgil could practically see the wheels turning in Logan’s head. “We can meet at my place after school? It would be beneficial for us to leave together from Mr. Foote’s class. Unless there’s a place that’s more comfortable for you?”
“‘s fine.”
The warning bell rang, prompting Mr. Sanders to give them each a hall pass. The two walked out of the room together, missing the tiniest of smiles on their teacher’s face.
As the day went on, Virgil couldn’t seem to keep his thoughts from Logan. He didn’t really know him, but he knew of him. Logan was the smartest in their class, bound to be the valedictorian. He’d run for class president and had lost to a kid who’d made false promises. He worked at the tutoring center. Other than that, Virgil knew nothing about him.
Over the course of the next month, that quickly changed.
Virgil learned that it was hard to get Logan to laugh. But when he did laugh, it was the cutest sound to ever grace the planet.
He learned that Logan was a huge fan of poetry. The two of them bonded over several works by Edgar Allen Poe, particularly the Raven.
He learned that, because of the poetry, Logan was good with beats. Specifically rap. Seeing his brother’s face after the so-called nerd destroyed him in a rap battle had Virgil laughing so hard that his sides hurt.
Virgil learned that he had completely fallen for his new friend.
Which was a problem.
“Virgil.”
“He has a soulmate, Ro! I can’t be in love with him!”
“Virgil.”
“I can’t break the two of them apart, they belong together. That’s why it’s called soulmates.”
“Virgil!”
At his brother’s shout, Virgil finally stopped talking.
“Thank you. Now take a deep breath.” Roman knelt in front of his brother. “Good. Did you ever consider that you are Logan’s soulmate?”
Eyes darting to the floor, Virgil mumbled, “My life has never been that good.”
“V. Just...talk to him. You told me that the two of you can talk about anything.”
The doorbell rang, making Virgil stiffen. Roman peeked through the window, before making some sort of crazed motion that Virgil interpreted as ‘come on!’
Trembling only slightly, Virgil opened the door. Logan stood there, a wide grin on his face.
“Hello, Virgil.”
“Lo, it’s like...ten at night. What are you doing here?”
“I was wondering if you might like to go stargazing with me. We wouldn’t be gone for more than an hour, if that’s what would worry you, and I’m sure I can ease any other worries you might have. And if you don’t want to, that’s perfectly fine as well.” The words spilled out of Logan’s mouth quickly, all running together.
Feeling a blush creep up his neck, Virgil nodded. “Sure, that sounds cool.”
“Great!”
The two of them walked across the street to the park. Logan pulled a blanket out of his bag, smoothing it over the grass. He laid down, allowing Virgil enough room to lay beside him.
“How much do you know about constellations?” Logan asked as soon as they were situated.
“Not a lot.”
He could practically hear the smile in Logan’s voice. “If you look up there, just off of the swingset, that’s my favorite constellation, Cassiopeia. Mostly because it’s such a simple shape and easy to find. Not to mention the story behind it.”
Following Logan’s finger as it drew out the constellation, Virgil’s eyes widened. He sat up straight, practically throwing off his hoodie.
“Virgil?”
“Does it look like this?” He asked, showing Logan his forearm.
A series of dots stood out on Virgil’s arm. Logan froze, staring at the shape.
“Lo?”
“Y-yeah.” Logan said, before rolling up his sleeve. “Does this...is this anything to you?”
Virgil wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. The shape of a stormcloud rested on Logan’s arm. “You like to stargaze, I like to watch the rain.”
“So...that makes you my soulmate.”
“Fuck.”
Logan gave Virgil a confused look.
“Sorry, not...Roman called it like five minutes ago, and now he’s going to give me so much shit for it, and -”
“Can I kiss you?” Logan interrupted, before turning bright red. “You don’t have to say yes.”
After half a second, the two of them moved at the same time, connecting their lips. Virgil’s heart swelled as he pulled back.
“Soulmates doesn’t necessarily mean we need to be together, but...I would enjoy that.” Logan said, the tips of his ears cherry red. “Would you?”
“Yes, Lo.” Virgil giggled, kissing his cheek. “I’ll be your boyfriend.”
634 notes · View notes
jessironi89 · 4 years
Text
WELCOME!
Tumblr media
Welcome to my bitty shop! Here I have quite a few bitties up for adoption. Be sure to check all of them out and hit me up with questions if you have any.  Nightmare Bitties: 
Tumblr media
TealMare: As close to original Nightmare you will probably get. He is a mean bean but there are times where they aren’t as mean and you gotta take what you can get with them. They do still feed of negativity but positivity doesn’t necessarily harm them it just makes them grumpy and if you’re lucky they will get used to it and just get flustered or embarrassed at your niceness. This one loves apples. Surprising? nah not really.
Tumblr media
PurbleMare: These ones are not as mean and are pretty neutral when it comes to how they act around you. They do have an unhealthy obsession with herbs and spices so you will most likely catch them in your pantry trying out all of them to see if they are good enough for their owner. They also experiment on combining spices and making a new spice sometimes to. Probably really enjoys cooking and if taught how would be a big help in the kitchen.  Favorite food is…….well any herb or spice they find.
Tumblr media
GreenMare:  This is a good bean, with some anger issues. They love their owner and will do anything for them including getting angry at someone for being rude to you. Or will be ready to tear some asshole a knew one after you have a hard day at work and come home to vent. He will throw tantrums if he doesn’t get his way. Dont give in he will stop eventually just let him get it out his system and after he will most likely just cuddle up to your neck and go to sleep. His favorite food is sour patch kids candy. 
Tumblr media
RedMare: This adorable little sad bean likes fire. No he loves it. He might be a little pyromaniac so be careful. Even so he is very loveable and needs all the cuddles to keep him from being to sad. Has bad anxiety so comfort and take care of him with all the care in the world and be patient as well. Favorite food is sugar cubes. 
Tumblr media
TeableMare: This little hybrid is just adorable and very loveable. Can be a bit clingy so be careful where you sit cause you never know where the baby will be clinging to you from time to time. He loves to help you stay organized and will probably do as much cleaning as the small can for you just to impress you however he can. Favorite food is chocolate. 
Tumblr media
Pinkmare: This little cutie is very loveable and loves to cuddle. Most of them will love you right away but there are some occasions where they are a bit skeptical. Dont worry though they will love you in time. Favorite food is strawberries. 
Tumblr media
Orangemare: This one is a bit of an adventurer. You might catch him climbing around your furniture or even up your pants leg and shirt. He loves to seek out new adventures and if he is around other bitties will come up with fake little stories and adventures for them to go on in your home. Favorite food is anything citrusy. 
Tumblr media
Yellowmare: This one loves anything shiny. jewelry, metal bottle caps, coins. Anything that reflects the sun and sparkles. A little bit of a hoarder you may sometimes find your shoes filled with stuff he finds and tries to hide or keep put up for later. Favorite food is pop tarts. 
Tumblr media
Blancamare: A rather quiet Nightmare bitty. This one is also a bit more protective and acts more like the leader or parental figure of other bitties. He wont let anyone in your home that does not belong there and will also take care of other bitties you have when you are not at home or if you are busy. Favorite food is skittles.  Borrors (Horror Bitties) :
Tumblr media
Each of these Horror bitties are tale bitties that were abandoned on the streets…. But, they tend to be aggressive at first for Sanses, but gradually calm down a few days in if you continue not to lash out. Each one id different in their own way and their soul magic varies per bitty. Once you earn their trust you will see each soul color sparks a different personality and shows just how caring they can be.  The thing is you have to gain their trust over time and you must be patient in doing so. Food also helps, keep them well fed and away from sharp objects until they trust you, then its just to protect you.Each one is treated and kept healthy here at the shelter. Each cracked skull has been fixed though some do not want it so that may vary depending on the bitty you adopt. They are also some who are pretty self conscious about the crack so they keep it hidden in their hood most of the time.In the end these bitties have been through hell and back and deserve a loving and caring home where they can grow and learn to love again.
Billers (Killer Bitties) :
Tumblr media
These is the Biller set of Bitties. Each one represents each version of human souls.
PERSERVERANCE Biller: These bitties are very smart. The smartest of the other bitties to be exact and they really love to read. Reading is what you will see this bitty do a lot of and they will also probably as you to read with them many times. They also really enjoy stories so telling them stories would make their day. They could also help with any financial issues you need help with as well. Favorite food is grapes.  JUSTICE Biller: This bitty is just a bundle of joy and loves to play games like cowboys and Indians or laser tag. Anything where he can use fake weapon they are all for it. They can get a little anxious at times but all around are very caring bitties who learn how to use medical remedies to take care of other bitties and even their owners. Favorite food is lemons.  BRAVERY Biller: These little fighters love to spar and fight. They are big hearted beans who just enjoy a good rough housing sometimes. They are pretty tough so when you play with them you can be a little rougher then normal . If you aren’t you might end up with a pouty bitty who just wants to play with you. This one is a bitty who is in constant need of some sort of stimulation. Toys are very much recommended since sometimes even you cant play with them for to long due to other matters life throws at you. Favorite food is hotdogs.  PAITENCE Biller: These bitties are pretty much the essence of patience. They dont let much bother them and are pretty laid back. They love to accessorize and enjoy to change their wardrobe quiet often. They have quite the fashion sense and just love to look their best. They are probably your best bet at fashion advice when getting ready for an event or date. Favorite food is cookies.  INTEGRITY Biller: These bitties love music. If they get to upset or emotional music is always a good way to calm them or make them feel better. You may also catch them dancing if you’re lucky. Once they get used to you then youll catch them sleeping on your pillow or on your chest. They are like a cat and only want attention when they want it. If they aren’t in the mood you will probably get hissed at before they go about their business. Favorite food is sushi. 
KINDNESS Biller: Probably one of the sweetest bitties youll ever meet. Loves to cook for their owner and will love you unconditionally no matter what. Which could end up bad if they get a horrible owner. They love to cuddle but really love to cook with you or sit around and watch tv. Favorite food is eggs.
DETERMINATION Biller: These are full of Determination to just constantly cling to you like a koala. They need snuggles a lot, if they are deprived for to long they can become a small touch starved anxiety. If you feel you are going to be gone for a little bit to long make sure your bitty either has a companion bitty or has some sort of plushie to cling to till your return. Favorite food is twizzlers. 
KitKat (Error!Fell) :
Tumblr media
Now this little edgy bitty loves to bite. And I mean loves to. A really good thing to get for this bitty are plenty of things to chew and knaw on. Ya'know something other then your fingers or shoes or….whatever else he would get in his mouth. 
Personality wise the Feller bitties can vary but they are mostly just very iffy about who touches them as well as very aggressive to those they are not sure of yet. It takes a while to gain their trust but once you do you have a friend for life. Feller’s are very cuddly and love to cuddle and snuggle. In fact before you do get their trust it is recommended to get them something to cling to while they sleep. 
Favorite food? Well they love spicy mustard and pretty much anything chewy. Gummy bears, pocky sticks anything they can crunch on or chew with their teeth is a good idea. They are also pretty nosey so if you have something you dont want found make sure these little guys dont know about that because they will go out of their way to mess with you by going through your stuff. 
Blueberror Bitty:
Tumblr media
Blueberror bitties are now available! Each one will have its own personality when adopted so it will be at random. You wont know what his personality is until you adopt one so. Try your luck with this cutie! Cross Bitties: with xChara
Tumblr media
without xChara
Tumblr media
Cross bities are now available! Some come with xChara and others do not. Take your pick! Personalities may vary per bitty. Good luck!
170 notes · View notes
phoebewallerbrigde · 5 years
Text
All For Us, (a Reddie x Euphoria HBO) fanfiction
"It was the end of summer, back-to-school was coming up, I had no intention of staying clean and Richie Trashmouth Tozier was back in Derry." 
Without any filter but with humor and franchise, here's the harsh coming of age story of Derry's youth through the eyes of Eddie Kaspbrak, 17, fresh out of rehab.
read it on AO3 || Explicit || 8k || 1/?
Hope you like it guys !
There was a time in my life where everything was fine, but that, that was before I was ripped out of my mother’s womb. Since then, it’s been shit.
Chapter 1 : Screwed.
I was born on September 3rd, 2002 in a world post 9/11 completely overwhelmed by the mourning and the duty of memory. It has been four months since Sam Raimi's Spiderman was at the top of the world box office and that Peter Parker had managed to give hope to America and New York. Far from everything and from New York, there was my mother and my father, and I was their Spiderman. Nice, huh? I don’t think so.
---
My life begins without warning with a childhood in a big house in the depths of America's asshole. Derry, Maine. A small town so small that everyone knows each other and knows everything. That’s where the problems start. My father became ill when I was 9 years old and my overprotective mother was already beginning to fall into what I call "parental and marital abuse". Life at home was absolutely not great, especially because of my "not fitting" behavior.
"Eddie-bear, is everything okay?" asked Sonia Kaspbrak worried.
A 10-year-old Eddie was still staring at the front door counting seconds every time he heard the clock tick of the dining room.
"Eddie-bear, look at me." she added in a calm voice. "You did not even touch your .."
Eddie turned her head to Sonia and began to cry at once. Sonia and Frank looked at each other in amazement, feeling completely helpless.
They did what every healthy-minded parent would do, choosing to consult several doctors, a psychologist and a children's psychiatrist. I wasn't physically abused, I always drank at least a liter of water a day, my mother prepared me good dishes, my father did not hit me... 
"Your son has OCD, ADHD and anxiety. He has a higher brain activity than the average child for his age, probably due to hypersensitivity and perhaps also to behavioral disorders... But he’s still too young to tell."
The psychiatrist's voice left a blank in the room and Sonia Kaspbrak burst into tears. Frank stroked his wife's back for reassurance and Eddie turned to his mother without understanding what was happening.
So why do I have this?
---
"Neuroatypical, you are neuroatypical, Eddie-bear."
Eddie mimicked his mother while eating his cereal bowl, she glanced him, he stopped and sighed.
"Show me your phone, I'll check your alarms."
An 11-year-old Eddie contemplated the capsules, pills and other medications that his mother was carefully distributing in each compartment of his medicine box. He handed him his yellow iPhone 5c that he had already unlocked on the alarms page.
"You have to take all your medicine, at the times indicated."
"I know, Ma."
Sonia looked at her son, who continued to eat with a peeved look on his face. She sat down beside him, putting down his cellphone and the box of compartmentalized tablets.
"You know ... there are lots of famous people like you - famous people, super creative and smart." She managed to catch Eddie's attention and then continued. "Look, your favorite actor who plays in The Truman Show for example."
"Jim Carrey?" 
"Yes!" exclaimed Sonia with a smile.
Yeah, and we all remember Jim Carrey during the 00s New Year Eve on David Letterman's set.
"A genius." ended Eddie with a smile before getting up and packing his box in his fanny pack.
I don’t really remember my pre-adolescence and all that time when I was 10 to 12. I mean, I remember my friends, how meaningless life was, how fast everything was falling apart for us because of daddy’s pneumonia, and how the world was going way too fast for my brain. And that sometimes, if I happened to think too much about everything, to concentrate too much on an smell or on the number of germs present under the table on which I wrote or on the strange way that I breathed ... I had a violent asthma attack. The space of a moment. But very quickly the space of a moment became all the time and all the time became a fight to fight these crises. And frankly...
"So this day, son?" Frank asked with a smile as Eddie walked into his room still dressed with his backpack.
He could hear his father listen to Queen and David Bowie's Under Pressure, one of his favorite songs who became one of his. That made him sketch a small smile.
"I'm fucking done with it."
--- 
I’m not necessarily proud of the choices I’ve made, but it wasn’t really like my mom didn’t push me. The house was full of meds. Meds here, meds there, meds in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the guest room, in the garage. My mother ordered meds profusely but gave me "gazebos" when I was perhaps the one who needed treatment the most. A treatment, I needed a treatment. I got it. It was there in front of me, everywhere, I knew every name and every dose of what the psychiatrist was giving me, it was not hard to remember, so I took it. I took but nothing. I did not feel any difference, the asthma attacks, the tremors, the sadness were still there. I took again and again and always more. When I went to the doctors, they increased the doses and I changed my mother's gazebos with my real meds. It made me feel something in the end, but it was too late, I was already addicted. But after all, is it really my fault? Oh, and I think we say "placebos".
12 years old and already on medication dependence. 13 years old and I stole my father’s morphine and other painkillers. 14 years old and I was asking for more with my psychotropics. 15 years old, I took my 1st taz and smoked my first joint. 16 years old and I sniffed my first rail, the first among others. That's why Georgie Denbrough found me unconscious in my own vomit. I had become a junkie ? I don’t know. I just liked the feeling. The feeling that it gave me, the nothingness. For once on earth, for as long as I can remember, I felt something new every time. It was this need that had led Georgie to scream with fear, which alerted Bill Denbrough to run to discover the disaster and tell him to look for my mother as he tried to wake me up. Poor Big Bill, he thought I was dead. I believed it, too.
I spent the whole summer in rehab after that, I never understood why. Well, I did but I didn’t think I was addicted to drugs. Drugs filled the gap that meds sometimes leave when it’s over. But I’ve learned that meds, too, are drugs.
"Eddie!"
"Georgie!"
Georgie ran into Eddie's arms, Eddie couldn’t help laughing and making remarks about how Georgie was almost ahead of him now. This made Bill laugh when he came to give him their secret handshake before taking the smallest in his arms.
"Hey!" whispered Eddie with a big smile.
Sonia in the distance watched her son squeeze the only two friends she had allowed to come with her to pick up Eddie, since they had been present and saved him with the accident. They ended up taking the road with them to their house. 
"I'm so happy you're back home, Eddie-darling, I missed you so much, never do that again, you gave me up for 3 long months, you realize, I could not to do nothing without you, I was so lonely and you know how much I hate it, never do that again, I made an appointment with the hospital for full exams and we will change you your doses, I will take good care of you my ... "
Eddie stopped paying attention to his mother, he looked around, Georgie and Bill cheerfully discussed everything Bill had planned to do to make up for lost time with Eddie. Not to mention the Losers, but Eddie figured out they were in. The brunette one landed on the windowsill and let the wind caress his face. He noticed in the distance a boy on a bicycle, this long and thin figure was telling him something. Brown curls, an alternative style between neglected but sought after, worn out converses, pale skin to death. Eddie’s eyes marveled at his sight when the car passed him. He felt his heartbeat accelerate and his heart pounding.
And that’s when the beginning of the end really began. It was the end of summer, back-to-school was coming up, I had no intention of staying clean and Richard Trashmouth Tozier was back in Derry. I had to talk to the one person who knew everything about everything.
---
"So ... How long have you been back among us? You have completely hidden your return." Mike asked, eating his salad.
"A week and I didn’t hide everything! I was in quarantine between the hospital and at home all week, thanks Ma. Bill didn’t tell you?" said Eddie watching Mike eat.
"Bill and I don’t really talk right now when we see each other. You know that."
Mike is probably the smartest person I know, yet he still didn’t dare tell the love of his life that he loved him. At the same time, he was living on a planet other than ours and didn’t really have time to be a normal high school student. It was easier to fuck Bill and continue to just be his bro than become his significant other. 
"Richie is back, by the way."
"Ah."
"Yup, he went to the farm and got a 50$ of weed. He didn’t even want me to give him a price."
"D'you know more?" "Hm... He’s already been here for two weeks. He seemed pretty happy to be back, California changes you a man." said Mike laughing what made Eddie smile. "We’ll see when we get back to school."
Eddie nodded at Mike.
"How are you feeling ?" Mike asked, carefully watching Eddie.
"Great since I gave my life to abstinence and I stopped jerking off." Eddie answered seriously.
"Oh ...... Cool, cool, cool, I'm really happy for you."
"Mike, I’m messing with you. You should see your face." Eddie laughed while Mike gave him a pat on the shoulder. " Anyway, that’s not all, but is your grandfather here, Vegemike?"
"Are you serious bro?"
"Hey, it's not because I'm doing a rehab that I'm going to stay clean."
"But.... Isn’t that the point of a rehab? I won’t let you do something stupid again."
"Come on, just weed."
"You do not like weed, Kaspbrak."
"Fine but can I at least have your cherry tomatoes?"
Mike nodded and smiled at his best friend who continued to eat his salad with him.
Something I missed this summer? My trips to the Hanlon farm. Mike being a divine cook and plus a vegan, obviously, his food was safe and harmless to me. And the Hanlon house was the best hostess for parties, it was big, rebuilt in recent years and far enough to be quiet. I must have missed a lot of parties, but if there was one coming up, Stanley Uris'. And if you thought I was gonna miss it, the last big party before school, so the most important one of the summer, you can suck my dick. That’s probably why that piece of shit of Henry Bowers brought his ass back to the farm. It’s a good thing the Hanlons were selling him their wares for twice as much.
"Yo, there you go! That’s his mama’s boy!" he cried as he entered the storefront. "I thought you were dead. Good, because my knife will be able to tate the ground."
"Go get your shit and get off him, dude."
"You’re lucky I haven’t touched you since you’re the best drug dealer in town, but don’t trust me, nig.."
Mike rose sharply and faced Bowers. His eyes were black and Bowers backed away.
"All right, all right, I’ll go."
I never liked Henry Bowers, and I truly believe no one has ever loved him. Even his father hates him. If you were looking for someone to identify as the rich cis hit white man in this city, it was him. He was "untouchable" or rather believed himself untouchable because his father was the most influential guy in the city. He had been sheriff but had ended up building his business and it had taken. It was quite unbelievable, however, now Bowers was living his best life and did not think he had to be accountable to anyone when he still had a mullet cut in 2019 and that he should clearly shut up the fuck up. Before, he harassed me as well as the rest of the Losers club, for my part I was entitled to homophobic insults in profusion. But one day we humiliated him front of his friends. Since then he has left us alone and yesterday’s nerds his become today’s popular. Karma, as they say.
 ---
It was about to get dark in a few hours, a young man was cycling in the streets of Derry. He was tall, fine and handsome. A car passed by him and he was destabilized.
"Back among us, motherfucker, this is my secret sauce as a welcome gift, Tozier!"
Bowers' voice was loud and Hockstetter's laugh had not failed him. Richie had managed to avoid the milkshake he had sent him. He gave him fingers as he went away and Richie sighed on his way home. He passed by the kitchen and dropped off his racing bag and went to his room where he threw himself into his bed. He took out his phone and went straight to Grindr. Richie was scrolling, watching nudes, messages, chatting with people, going from Grindr to Tinder, and finally finding happiness. For tonight, anyway, then took a nap.
If there was anyone that nobody expected to see again in Derry, it was Richie fucking  Tozier. He told me he was back from his parents' divorce. His father had kept the old family house in which he lived in Derry. Something must have happened with his mother in California because Richie preferred to come and live with his father in our good ol' Derry, but he refused to tell me what happened. That Tozier really is a moron.
Richie awoke. It was already 7 pm. He sighed, got up, went downstairs to eat with his father who had prepared some homemade pizzas and then went back to his room. It was 8 pm. He got motivated, launched his "Party times" playlist which debuted on Plus Putes Que Toutes Les Putes from the French band Orties. He took a shower and picked out an outfit. When he found the right one, he couldn’t help but smile. A black wide sweater with a yellow stripe in the middle and "The villa hopes" written on it, simple black slim jeans, red socks and its Converses x 70 x OFF Springs Velour Patchwork. He rolled up his sleeves, made himself up by putting on black, blue, yellow and red eyeliner to make an editiorial makeup, nothing too dramatic. He was dancing in front of his mirror and laughing. He passed his hands several times without his brown curls, put big silver rings on his fingers and finally put on his necklaces including his favorite, the one with a red balloon pendant. He took his Lacoste fanny pack and while looking at it, he had a little smile thinking of the one person who had never stopped wearing these before it became trendy again. He went down the stairs and fell on his father.
"Oh, look at yourself ! So, where are you going?" asked Wenthworth Tozier while observing his son.
Richie arrived in front of his father after crossing the living room. They lived in a beautiful house, quite luxurious from the outside as well as the inside. Richie hugged his father to reassure him.
"To a party, with friends."
"Friends ?"
"Yes, my old friends, dad."
Wenthworth nodded and Richie waved his hand with his index finger and middle finger at his temple before moving them away.
"Watch out, have fun and protect yourself, Rich!"
Oh, don’t worry, Mr. Tozier, Richie was sure to protect himself properly with those Saint Laurent condoms in his bag.
Richie smiled at his father before taking his bike and leaving.
Richie did not want his return to make too much noise. Yet it was all the opposite effect. Everyone who had lived in Derry between 2002 and 2016, so everyone, knew Richie Trashmouth Tozier. The first to know about Richie's return was Ben. Simply because the two were following the same two-week artistic summer course that the school had organized. It was a little stupid because Richie was a little genius despite appearances and Ben was just good at everything without having to force. At least Ben had been able to reconnect with Richie and pass the information to the rest of Losers, but except me, of course.
When he arrived in front of a hotel in the city, he smiled at the message of the chosen one and sent a message to Ben.
[Forget me for tonight, I have a date.]
Ben glanced at his phone, and then at Beverly. Both exchanged suspicious looks.
"What’s going on?" Beverly asked.
"It’s Richie. He says he’s not coming tonight."
"What did you told him?" Beverly looked at herself in the mirror.
"Nothing! He’s just gonna do his little business with someone."
"Oh okay, chill, he’ll come later. Why you scare us like that!" replied Beverly getting close to Ben to give him a kiss on the cheek.
Ben went red in action and Betty Ripsom made a disgusting sound. Beverly stopped to look at the brunette, she had completely forgotten her presence. After all, it was her who'll dropped them off at Stanley’s. "Stop. You’ll do the same thing tonight and even more," she said looking at her.
In case you're wondering, yes, Ben is in love with Bev. For far too long for me to remember. For Bev, however, nobody really knows. Bev is a mystery to everyone, I still wonder why she's friends with us. She's a cheerleader, she's so popular, much more than Mike or Bill or Stan. She has a reputation behind her, yet it has never stopped her from being the baddest bitch in town. A real rolemodel to the twink that I am. Perhaps the most amazing thing is that she was fake dated for a month with Bowers just for a bet and it lasted until today, well, until two days ago. She still made 200 dollars on it every month.
"You slept with Bowers, you do not have the right to speak." Betty retorted.
"A hand job. It was a hand job and it happened once during the 3 months of the bet. Then anyway, Bowers is a clown. It’s not Penny Wise who’s gonna say otherwise. I was able to take away as much as I could before I dumped him. And tonight, we move on." she said, turning to Ben.
"Yes, that’s what everyone wants to hear! Shit Ben, tonight you have to fuck! Not just a handjob or a blowjob! It’s not the '80s anymore, you have to catch some pussy."
Ben smiled slightly embarrassed and turned to Beverly who grinned while listening to Betty. He totally ignored Betty’s words, then lowered his head, a little disappointed. He really wanted to disappear underground at this very moment.
In his place, I’d like to, too. Thank you, Betty.
 ---
"Ma ? I’m leaving."
"Where, Eddie-bear? And so late? You can’t leave me like this." Sonia said as her son came into the living room. "And dressed like that? You look like a bad boy, I don’t like it."
"That’s my usual style, Ma. It’s only 10 pm and I’m going to Bill’s. Don’t wait for me and don’t panic. And yes, I took my medicine with me and my insulin just in case. See you, Ma."
A 16-year-old Eddie closed the front door and leaned back against it, looking down the street and sighing. He was divinely handsome, he had combed his hair, put glitter on his eyes and mascara which gave him an even more intense look. He had put on a silk shirt with patterns like the rich women's scarves, the colors were soft and pastel like salmon, beige, yellow or baby blue but it contrasted with his lame bomber and his slightly tanned and brilliant skin. With that, he had put some necklaces and he also let see his chest. He was wearing his white low converses and black skinny ripped jeans. He took a puff from his inhaler and looked at his bike lying on the ground. He turned his head away and began to walk. He took out his airpods and launched one of his Daily Mix on Spotify, he closed his eyes at Alphaville's Forever Young.
It is never easy to leave this house with a mother as unbearable as mine. In fact, I lied. I’m not going to go to Bill’s, it would be too much of a detour. We’ll meet at the party. I preferred to walk because when I drink, I don’t take the road because...
All the times he passed out, in the middle of the road completely drunk, kept coming to his mind as a nightmare.
You got it, anyway. I know, you're surprised that I drink, but alcohol is pretty much the same as my meds. Except for beer, I hate beer.
Eddie was quietly walking around, dancing, listening to Rubberband Man from the Spinners, and clearly living his best life. When a noisy car because of the music made itself heard more and more as it passed by. The passengers listened to Dang! of Mac Miller and that made Eddie smile, he loved Mac Miller.
"Oh my god, stop the car." exclaimed Beverly. "I said stop the car, Betty."
"Why ?" Betty asked, slowing down.
"We just passed Eddie Kaspbrak!" said Ben looking in through the back window.
"Oh my God! I think he was dead." Betty laughed.
"Shut up. You should be the one to die, Ripsom." Ben replied.
Eddie walked in front of them, not paying attention.
"Yo, the comeback!" yelled Beverly what pulled Eddie out of his music.
He turned to her and looked at her with a smile. She had a big smile and he leaned towards her.
"It’s good to see you again, we missed you." she said in all sincerity.
Ben nodded, which made Eddie smile, he almost had tears in his eyes. His best friends had not forgotten him.
"Are you being dropped somewhere?" Betty Ripsom asked.
"Well, thank you !"
Eddie waved to him and Ben opened the back door. He got into beautiful Betty's Volvo and Bev turned to him.
"What the hell are you listening to? Certainly not the New Kids On The Block." She said looking at Ben who shook his head negatively by squinting his eyes.
Eddie looked at his iPhone 8, Rubberband Man was finished, he pouted at the next song.
"London Calling." he answered hesitantly.
"Perfect."
The music started in the car, all four began to jam in the car while singing.
The party was already in full swing when I arrived with the others. Stan’s house was shining from the outside and eclipsing all the other houses, it was beautiful to see. From the inside, it looked like it was going to explode. In every room, chaos. A kind of stifling heat emanated as Megan Thee Stallion’s Hot Girl Summer filled the house. The minute Stan’s eyes crossed mine, he left Patricia for my arms. It was nice, it wasn’t every day that Staniel gave you a hug.
"Oh, fuck, Edward Kaspbrak himself, that's crazy, I .. I'm so happy to see you!" Stan shouted in his arms. Stan held him so tight that Eddie felt he was going to choke him. He must have been a little drunk. He was wearing a stretch short-sleeved shirt in washed jeans with black pants and chelsea boots. It was divine.
He had always been, it was Stan, he could afford it. He was smart, mature, funny, an excellent counselor, the mom of the group and he also organized the best parties in high school. How having money is really cool.
"Hey everyone! Look who’s back! To Eddie!" shouted Bev while lifting up her shot of tequila in the air.
The people present in the room did the same and repeated these two words at the same time. Bill raised his glass in my direction, he gave me a big smile and I was a little embarrassed. Everyone drank their glasses. Bev gave me a shot of tequila, everyone was looking at me now. It was weird. Being the center of attention is clearly not my stuff. But, I drank that shot and after that, everyone screamed for joy. Bev gave me a hug, then Mike just added himself to the hug, then Bill and then Stan. The Losers were together and I could clearly hear Billie Eilish’s Bellyache in my head.
---
The hotel was rather classy, the room too, thought Richie. He did not know that places like this existed in Derry. The chosen one was therefore fortunate. When he returned from a room that served as a kitchen with two glasses of champagne. Richie looked at him carefully, he liked to sleep with older men, but he never imagined that Butch Bowers was that kind of man.
Thank you." he said, looking at the man standing in front of him.
"Your face is familiar to me, have we ever seen each other?" Butch asked, looking at Richie.
Later, Riche told me that at the moment he wanted to say yes. He really should have done it.
"Not that I remember."
Butch nodded and drank his glass of champagne.
Richie had said he was 18, technically he was not lying, he was actually going to have them. The knowledge. And Richie was consenting.
Butch watched Richie.
"We will not fuck, you're too young."
Richie nodded, he avoided swallowing.
"I envy your generation, however. When I see you, I see two life choices."
He stroked Richie's cheek, then his lips with his thumb. Richie was looking at him almost religiously. There was a kind of tension in the room. They were not going to sleep together, but it was almost as if. In a parallel dimension, it was happening.
"You can leave, live an extremely beautiful life elsewhere, be fully yourself, find love, or you can stay here and end up like me, hanging out in fancy hotels." Butch continued looking at Richie's eyes.
"Both choices are possible." retorted Richie.
Butch's thumb sank into Richie's mouth.
"If only I could, I'd smash you." he said in a low voice.
Richie closed his eyes. He could not really say what he was looking for in this kind of completely barge plan. But there was so much he was looking for. One was definitely that special bond he had once bonded with a unique person in his life. When both made leave of this vocal flirtation, this visual fuck. Richie put California by Lana Del Rey in his ears. 
He looked at the door of the closed bathroom because the chosen one was taking a shower, he must have met someone before him and shoot his shot. Richie looked at his phone and left the room without making a noise. Once outside the hotel, he lit a cigarette. He took a few steps to his bike, when the song ended, the cigarette was too. He changed his song and went straight to Stan's house.
And there. The evening went fucking nuts.
The huge stairs in Stan's house were flooded and mobilized by people kissing, drinking or whatever. The music was in full swing, Eddie did not know the song, but he would have sworn it was one of the songs that Mike composed during his free time. He pushed people a bit to pass and went to the nearest toilet. He closed the door and looked at himself in the mirror before taking a breath of his ventoline. He kept looking in his bag with a tiny vial of white powder inside. There was almost nothing, but it did not matter because Eddie knew it was extremely strong. He spread it on a small spatula attached to his keychain which he had disinfected before and sniffed everything. He ran a hand through his hair and left the room. The sensations becoming stronger, his brain seemed to be reviving.
Blackbear’s Hot Girl Bummer burst into his ears. Suddenly, the world around him seemed to be totally out of sync with him. He almost lost his balance. Standing on the wall, clinging to people, Eddie laughed. The world revolved around him and he danced on the music that filled his brain.
All you need to know is that there are several versions of what happened tonight. It all depends on who tells you the story and... I’m not necessarily the most reliable narrator for this evening. But what I can assure you is that Bowers screwed up.
Bowers had been drinking since before with the party. He spent the night looking for Beverly and she wasn’t that hard to find she was in the Uris pool. Even wet, she was still the most beautiful girl of the party. She made a fairly simple make up. You’d think she had nothing if you didn’t know the basics of makeup. She was having fun with Betty and Audra Phillips, Bill’s ex, by doing a water fight and singing along on to Russ’s Do It Myself. And who knows why, Bowers as the fragile man that he is, wanted to break the moment.
"Slut!" he shouted as he reached the terrace.
He pointed to Beverly who turned to him.
"Yes ?" she replied, with a great deal of irony, a smile on her lips.
Everyone laughed and scolded Beverly's name. Bowers turned speechless. Beverly's smile widens.
"Well then, 2 minutes 30 lost his big mouth?" she said, coming out of the water and facing Bowers. "That is what I thought."
Everyone was watching the confrontation carefully. The first one since Beverly dumped Bowers and announced that it was all just a bet between her and Stan.
"Shut the fuck up, you only suck anyway."
"How could you know that since I would never suck you Henry Bowers? Now, please stop humiliating yourself in public. Go back to Greta Keene and forget about me, okay."
Bowers wanted to fight back but Beverly pushed him into the water and Georgie grabbed his leg to make it easier for him to fall. Everyone shouted and laughed. Stanley stood up and turned away from Mike, Bill and Eddie and apologized to see what was going on with Beverly.
"Really ?" He asked.
"You'll pay me Losers." he said as he stepped out of the pool and back inside.
Losers: 1. Bowers: 0. The school year is starting well.
Bill and Mike were laughing and Eddie smiled at Beverly.
It was at that moment that they concluded. The funny thing is that Bill, when he's alcoholic, totally loses his stuttering. So it was amazing to hear him speak clearly to Mike, especially when it was a rim job. I would have preferred not to be here to hear that. But I'm sure I heard a "I love you Mikey" so finally it was worth it.
"Everything's okay, bro?" asked Mike, noticing his presence again.
"Yeah.. Yeah, that’s fine... Glad to see you two are okay." he said, smiling and watching Bill blush.
At the same time, there was another one for whom things were going well. Ben Hanscom. Ben was playing truth or dare in one of the upstairs rooms with several of the Cheerios like Myra Stonehart or some of the guys from our class. Normally, truth or dare was the game we used to play when we were playing between us only, but here, it turned into a conversation about sex. And Ben Hanscom wasn’t a pro on the subject.
"What are you really virgin?" asked one of the guys in the discussion. "And do not say that a pipe, that counts."
"It counts." retorted Myra.
"You know nothing about it Myra. You're the one who wants to fuck Eddie Kaspbrak while everyone knows he's gay and clearly not interested."
Myra looked up at the skies with a grin.
"Who are you saving yourself for, man?" asked another one of the guys.
Beverly Marsh.
"No one. I’m just waiting for the right moment." Ben replied.
"Like, now’s not a good time?" asked another cheerleader. "If, I asked you to sleep with me tonight, what would you say?"
Ben blinked several times at Anna’s question and remained speechless.
Of course, Ben is an eternal romantic. He writes rose water's poems, appreciates courteous love stories and is much stronger when it comes to putting his thoughts on paper than saying it out loud. But, Ben Hanscom was definitely not a coward. He was just a virgin in a society where we wanted boys to breathe and eat porn all day long.
Anna leaned back to Ben.
"You’re super cute, Ben. You used to be before you started working out. In 5 years you’ll be a sex bomb and I want my cut now." she said in a rather serious tone.
The whole room was breathless, Anna was one of the sexiest girls in high school. Ben nodded softly and Anna smiled.
"Everybody clear this room now!"
---
While Ben surely lived what would be one of the most memorable evenings of his life. Richie Tozier had arrived at the party, and I was sprawled on that couch by the pool watching Mike and Bill be in love. Shit, I want what they have. At the same time, Beverly was playing in the pool with Audra and Betty, but you already know the rest.
"By the way, Eddie, you owe me 120 bucks." Mike said looking at his friend.
"Yeah, but I thought our friendship and the fact that I'm alive made up for that." Eddie replied.
"If you say so." Bill replied.
Stan came to join them.
"Frankly, Eddie, I missed you, we missed you all, it was not the same this summer without you, your drug stories make me feel bad."
"Aw Stan, don’t be sentimental."
"No, that’s not it. I love you, man, but... you really scared us." he said, taking a break before turning to Eddie.
Mike and Bill nodded in agreement with Stan.
"We thought you were dead. And seriously, Eddie, I’ve seen a lot of people die, but I would never agree to see you die for that. I’ve seen a lot of people die, but not people like you." Mike added. "I don’t know exactly what’s going on with your brain, but I can tell you one thing, drugs and getting high is not your solution."
A blank settled in between these four. He was not unpleasant, on the contrary. It was peaceful. They watched Beverly and Bowers fight.
"There’s one thing I remember... it happened when I was nine years old, shortly after my father was diagnosed. We were told that he was going to get better, I mean, that he had a chance of getting better. So, we celebrated it, we went to New York, seven hours back and forth. One of the best moments of my life. I told my dad that when I grew up, I would go to New York and live there."
Eddie’s voice started shaking and Stan gently shook his hand.
"Then we came home and I remember... that night, I slept with my parents and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. As if there was no oxygen in the world. My parents called the ambulance thinking I had a violent asthma attack. At the hospital, they gave me opium. Liquid. To calm me down and... then I thought, 'Okay, so that’s what I need'. Not mom’s medicine. That. Because all of a sudden, it was as if everything had become simpler. The noise, the voices in my head, everything was gone. Everything. Being in my head wasn’t a problem anymore. Four years later, he passed away and the asthma attacks that were actually anxiety and panic attacks continued. But that’s okay. I found a way to survive. I have you, guys. I have my psychiatrist. My medecine. Maybe it will kill me..."
Stan kissed Eddie's hand in support then got up and went to see the mess with Bev.
"Hey! Don’t say that!" yelled Bill slowly to Eddie before giving him a pat on his head.
"Touch me again in that ugly mustard buffalo shirt and I’ll kill you, Big Bill." Eddie laughed.
The three friends focused on the story of Bev and Bowers. Then Eddie stood up to give his best friends more privacy. Bowers had stormed into Stan’s apartment in the kitchen to get drunk. Blur’s Girls and Boys was in full swing throughout the house and the first thing Bowers did was not to drink, but to sweep a few bottles here and there with the back of his arm. Eddie and Stan followed Bowers wanting to throw him out of the party and Beverly Marsh had left the pool to annoy Mike and Bill that she had dragged inside after getting dressed.
"Get out of the kitchen!" screamed Bowers scaring everyone. " Get the fuck out."
The people around him backed back carefully to avoid getting a piece of glass, while watching Bowers lose it. Richie dug himself into a corner of the kitchen staring at Bowers totally destabilized by his behavior. Eddie, Stan, Mike, Bill and Bev entered the crowd.
"What's your fucking problem?" he said looking at Richie.
Richie looked at the sides and then looked at Bowers, he didn’t know what to say.
"Why are you here?" he says, moving forward and sticking to him. "Huh? You can't speak ? Aren't you Trashmouth Tozier for nothing?"
At the Trashmouth name agreement, Eddie’s attention got bigger. Shit, what is Richie doing here ?
"Can I know who invited you? You don’t even have any friends here. Everyone forgot you."
"Listen, uh. I don’t want any trouble, I just want to spend a chill night in my corner." Richie said, looking him in the eye.
He didn’t even blink.
"People like you are not here to stay in their corners. You are a problem here, you see, nobody answers. Nobody!" he shouted at Richie.
Richie grabbed the first kitchen knife and pointed it at Bowers, who backed away.
"You think you scare me? You think you scare me, Bowers? You know what we do to sons of cops like you in California?" yelled Richie in turn as he moved towards Bowers. "Back the fuck up!"
"I was fucking kidding. I was fucking kidding !"
"I’m not afraid of you, Bowers."
"W-put the knife down, okay? Put it down! I was laughing."
"You want to hurt me? You have no idea who I am." Richie yelled when he put the knife down.
At the same time he cut his hand without intentionally doing with one of the glass pieces of broken bottles. The spectators cried out in complete shock at this spectacle.
"You see. I absolutely don’t feel pain."
"Are you fucking crazy or something, Loser !?" added Bowers.
Bowers stood in his trembling corner, everyone watching the scene between confusion, admiration, shock and total chaos.
"No, I’m Richie Tozier. And it’s good to be home. Great party tho, Stan the man !" he said while smiling before leaving the room.
Oh yeah... fuck me.
Eddie quietly left his friends after that.
Ben came back down the stairs and saw Richie leave the party in fury.
"What did I miss?" Ben asked Mike.
"Where were you, man? You missed the craziest thing ever !" Mike asked Ben.
"I took care of my business."
Mike stares at Ben not fully understanding what Ben meant.
"I’ve lost my virginity."
"What? With whom?" asked Mike.
"Anna Addams."
"Wow. The Anna Addams?" he said with a smile. Ben confirmed by nodding his head, then Mike took him in his arms. "Well! Congratulations! How was it?"
"You should ask her."
Mike laughed and joined Stan in the kitchen. Stan gave Bowers a broom, cleaning supplies and a shovel.
"Clean up, or I’m going to get Richie." Stan said with a black look and a cold, stern voice.
Bowers took them and resigned himself. He glanced at Mike, Mike supported him, and Bowers resigned himself.
"I will stay in case you botch the job. Oh, after that, you and your friends will leave the party. Thank you." added Stan who was joined by Patricia, his girlfriend.
---
Eddie came out of the Uris house looking for Richie Tozier. He found him quite quickly getting his bike back.
"Hm... is everything all right?" Eddie asked while watching Richie.
Oh my God.
"Uh, yeah, it's good, don’t worry, m... Eddie Spaghetti?"
Richie smiled and blinked several times before moistening his lips. His smile came back, but this time in a corner one. He watched Eddie attentively, capturing every detail of his face. His hair was slightly unscrewed, his mascara had dripped a little and mixed with the glitter on his eyes. His pink lips, his freckles, his smile. Richie hugged him.
Wow. I think I’m getting hard.
"Yes yes, it’s m... Hey, don’t call me that!"
"You look good. It just smelled like trouble in here."
Eddie opened his eyes and began to blush slightly.
"Thank you, you’re not bad either... Yes! Yes, I understand your action. It’s just what you did... It was deadly classy."
The two stared at each other for a moment. Richie noticed the necklace on Eddie’s red balloon pendant.
"You still have it! That’s so cool."
"Oh the necklace? Yes! I’m not leaving it. You too, from what I see! You... you’re going somewhere?"
"At my place." Richie replied.
"I.. Can I come?"
"Yeah, of course! But your mother ? How is she since the last time I fucked her ?" Richie asked while mocking Eddie.
"Fuck my mother."
Yeah, fuck my mom. I found back the only boy I’ve ever loved in my entire life, looking like a fucking greek god and I still have to think about my mom ? Not today, Ma, not today.
The two took the road on Richie’s bike. Bowie’s Heroes passed on Eddie’s little JBL bluetooth speaker. Then, Richie suggested him to put Eddy de Preto's Fête de Trop. He was thrilled, clinging to Richie’s waist and resting his head on his back. He had strangely waited for this moment all week. It may not have happened the way he hoped, but Eddie was appeased.
Once they entered the Tozier house, they both went up to Richie’s room. Not much had changed compared to before, it was perhaps closer and more harmonious. Richie undressed and changed into pajamas, Eddie did his best not to look and Richie laughed at him. He gave her one of his sweaters that turned out to be too big for him, but anyway, he loved it and Richie loved seeing Eddie like that. He was just so...
"Cute. You’re so cute, Eds!"
"Stop it, won't you ?!"
Eddie rushed to clean Richie’s wound and apply a bandage with his first aid kit. Richie teased him by calling him Doctor K. and it was like Richie never left Derry. Richie had always been there somewhere and Eddie had seen him become a young man. Once the wound was cleaned and dressed. They took off their makeup and then the two men went face to face in Richie’s bed. They didn’t really need to talk to each other to say all the things they had on their hearts. They both laughed and Eddie snuggled in Richie’s arms. Nothing has changed. They still liked sleeping together. They still loved each other.
Mike, Bill and Georgie went home to the Denbroughs, Georgie fell asleep in the car, but Bill took him to his room quietly and then brought Mike in, then in his room where for the first time they spent the night talking when they were only the two of them.
Bev had gone home in the early morning and managed to miraculously avoid her father. She took off her makeup and changed her clothes at Stan’s after helping her clean everything up.
Ben had slept at Stan’s with Anna and had also cleaned everything with Betty, Patricia, Myra and others who had planned a sleepover at his house.
Bowers didn’t go home after cleaning up Stan’s kitchen, he went to Hockstetter’s to get drunk until the morning. Humiliated, uprooted, and completely high. He was severely taken back by his father and mother but especially by his father and went to his bedroom having already found his future victim for the year.
The next day, Richie and Eddie woke up early. Richie stopped by to brush his teeth and wash himself because Eddie forced him to do it and then Eddie did the same. Once back in Richie’s room, Eddie stared at him as he sat on his bed.
"I have an idea." he said softly.
"What?" Richie asked while stroking his hair softly.
"Wanna get high?"
33 notes · View notes
veliseraptor · 5 years
Note
okay first of all im so glad you're talking about your ex-villain project!! i have been thinking about it for like a really long time & kind of wanted to ask about it but i was too nervous. if you ever publish it i will definitely read it, this is 100% my jam & i would die for all of your ocs. for the ask meme (it was REALLY hard to narrow down so you dont have to answer all if you don't want to) could we have 11, 16, 19, 26, 32, & 35 for all?
Friend, I will always love to talk about this project, it’s exciting and definitely easier than, you know, actually writing it. My OCs would definitely not die for you, I am afraid, except for maybe Yazdan. He might do it under the right circumstances. Nobody else, though. 
Putting this under a cut because it got long…
How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?
Kazem: Oh, Kazem thinks he’s hot stuff. He’s prone to thinking he’s the smartest person in the room, which, unfortunately, he often is - at least in terms of knowledge and cleverness. And he knows this about himself, and is distinctly proud of it. He’s not so great on the common sense front, though. 
Israt: She doesn’t necessarily see herself as intelligent - it’s not a part of her personality self-definition, anyway. She’s smart enough, as far as she’s concerned, but it’s not a defining characteristic, for her.
Yazdan: I’ve talked a little about how he struggles with seeing himself as uneducated, and how he’s very self-conscious about that. He’s smart enough but he doesn’t think of himself as particularly intelligent. 
Jaleh: She’s fought hard for her education, and she thinks of herself as certainly clever, though she’s aware of the holes in her education. But she’s fairly confident in her intelligence just the same. It’s not the thing she values most about herself, though. 
What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?
Kazem: Right now? Not much. It’s not like he has a lot of options for gainful employment. Yazdan is basically his sponsor helping keep him alive, though he keeps pushing Kazem to look for something to do, which he isn’t. 
He’s not happy with it. He’s bored, and miserable, but he doesn’t really see a way out of it, either, when most people would hardly want to hire him (and might just want to kill him). Also, feeling sorry for himself is a full time job.
Israt: I referred to this in another ask, but she’s an Outrider who makes her living scouting the borders of the empire - not actively a soldier, but more of a scout and skirmisher. She deals a lot with the reality of the tension along the borders, particularly the western border with the Rome expy.
She likes it, more or less. It keeps her away from her home and family, it requires more work from her body than her brain so she can disengage from thinking too much, it takes her to interesting places, and there’s a certain glamour that lets her pick up most people she wants to. And she appreciates not having to stay in any place very long.
Yazdan: Professional heroism, more or less. Well, technically he’s in the employ of the empress (again, more or less), and there is an element of the spy to what he does, but mostly he puts out brush fires and is a demonstration of power to their neighbors. 
He’s not totally pleased with this situation - it makes him feel a little dirty and used, sometimes. But he also feels like it’s what he needs to be doing, because someone does, and he’s the only person who seems willing to volunteer - especially after his role in Kazem’s fall raised his profile astronomically.
Jaleh: This is another “I could tell you but she’d have to kill you” question.
What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?
Kazem: Kazem’s older brother was pretty horrifically abusive, his parents did nothing about it, and at a relatively young age Kazem ended up killing him. 
That’s…not the source of all his issues, necessarily, but it did found a lot of disillusionment with people in general, how they behave, and the prospects for people looking after him - it very much developed for him a sense of “I have to take care of myself because no one else is going to do it.” And the drive to accumulate as much power as possible so he’s never that vulnerable again.
Israt: Her sister’s death was a big one. Prior to that, Israt had a fair amount of freedom, or at least decided she did (her family didn’t appreciate it, but she still took it). After that…the world was a lot less safe, a lot less sure, and she had a lot more responsibility and a lot less belief in the fairness and justice of the universe. That’s kind of her breaking point when “minor disaster human” became “major disaster human.” 
Yazdan: This is one where I don’t actually feel like I can answer it because of spoilers, but I can say that he feels like a fraud a lot of the time - in some ways his deepest disillusionment is in himself.
Jaleh: I also can’t say much here because of spoilers, but she had a hard life growing up and doesn’t expect much from other people - much help, much love, much affection. She’s very self-sufficient and her view of the world is pretty bleak. She thinks most people are fundamentally hypocrites who are just out for their own gain.
She’s very “every person for themselves,” which contributes a lot to her ruthlessness.
What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance? 
I have the fancast here for appearance. When it comes to home…Kazem and Israt both don’t have a permanent one, and Jaleh’s is another one that I don’t want to answer in detail. Yazdan is also relatively itinerant, though he does technically have his own home adjacent to the palace. He doesn’t spend a lot of time there, though, as a rule, because he’s kind of uncomfortable with it.
How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?
Kazem: By turns either aggressively or with despair. When Kazem is stressed it’s either “take it out on everyone else” or “turn it inward and depression retreat away from the world.” There’s really not much of a middle ground. At least, that’s how it goes when he can’t control the stressful situation - if he can figure out how to white-knuckle control it and turn it to his advantage somehow then that’s fine. 
Israt: Israt prefers to avoid stressful situations overall, though she’s really in the wrong job for it, and she actually is pretty good at crisis management - better than she gives herself credit for. She has a pretty level head when things go to shit around her. It’s when things are fine that she starts running into trouble.
Yazdan: Also tends to handle stress fairly well, because he needs to a lot of the time. It’s also why he spends a lot of time tired, though. (Tired and not showing it.) He is in a nearly constant state of low-key anxiety, though, which is maybe why he can “handle” it - he’s just sort of used to that being a state of being.
Jaleh: Thrives under stress. Adrenaline just gets her mind going, and when other people are buckling she takes a substantial amount of pride in her ability to knuckle down and keep going. Pressure just makes her better at whatever she’s doing. And she’s a little bit of an adrenaline junkie, in her own way. 
Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?
Kazem: Poorly. Kazem is a perfectionist, and his ability to “roll with the punches” is roughly nil. He flips out about it every time, and doesn’t cope well with sudden changes in plan. He tends to both blame himself for not doing everything right and also everyone else in the vicinity for getting in the way. He is both the only competent person in the room and also solely responsible for things going wrong. 
Kazem has, as you may have gathered, Issues.
Israt: She doesn’t rationalize errors - she just expects them. And tends to just let them happen and then move on by them while pretending they don’t bother her. It’s not that they don’t bother her, she’s just kind of “well, shit happens, the world is nasty and things go wrong all the time, so…” and keep on moving. 
That’s her solution in most cases. Keep moving - the problems come when you stop.
Yazdan: Also poorly, though a little better than Kazem, and he tends to hold himself solely responsible. He doesn’t collapse in the same way, though - he’s more inclined to double down and try harder, though not always by actually changing course so much as just “well if I did this same thing but better it would have worked.” 
Jaleh: Probably handles them the best of the four of them - though she tends to blame other people for her mistakes a lot. Also has the “I’m the only competent one in the room” thing, but that just means that when things go wrong it’s not her fault. She does adjust course more easily, though, and is more flexible about changing plans or accounting for the unexpected and adapting for it. 
19 notes · View notes
eliegloryofficial · 6 years
Text
Chasing Stars - Chapter Four
summary: Once a world-renowned musician, Lucy Heartfilia put her violin away for the last time when she was seventeen. Five years later, she finds herself drawn back into the world of music after meeting a pianist with a fiery style of playing.
fandom and pairing(s): Fairy Tail, Natsu Dragneel / Lucy Heartfilia, minor Gajeel Redfox / Levy Mcgarden, others to be listed as they appear
Chapter Four: Can’t Be Undone
ff.net | ao3 | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four
“Again.”
There’s a second of hesitation, one heartbeat too many.
“I said ‘again’, Lucy.”
She shrinks back from the shift of his voice, trembling fingers clenching the bow tighter than she should. “My hands hurt, Papa.” Her voice is weak, strained. The words have been ignored too many times.
“I don’t recall asking you whether your hands hurt.”
“But –”
“Do not make me repeat myself. Again.”
 Lucy jerked awake, one hand thrown in the air to stop what would come next. She sat straight up in bed, taking shaky breaths until her heart had calmed to a normal speed and her eyes no longer saw the looming figure before her. When she had finally settled back into reality, dreams shoved firmly aside, she curled a little into herself, forehead pressing against her bare knees.
How long had it been since she dreamed of her father like that?
From the foot of her bed, she heard Plue whine once and then the bed shifted as he moved closer, tentatively licking her hand. Lucy moved slightly to allow him the chance to make himself comfortable against her before laying back down, staring at the dark ceiling. It had only been a few hours since she unceremoniously shoved Natsu out her door, only a few more until Levy and Cana would be pounding on her door for answers. Lucy scowled up into the darkness at the thought. She nearly looked over to her closet, wondering if she’d be able to see the outline of the violin case where she’d frantically shoved the instrument.
Her heart ached a little at how far she had come. Propelled away from the music, propelled away from her mother. But she hadn’t been able to leave the bad behind without leaving the good, the two so interwoven. Where there was the music, there was the memories and after so many years of bruised knuckles and swollen wrists, the desire to leave the latter won over the need to keep the former safe. And now that the one had returned to her, it seemed the other was only too willing to follow along.
Lucy closed her eyes again, curling onto her side away from the closet. They would want to know everything. How it started, what it was like, why it ended. They were her friends. Best friends. But the thought of trying to put everything into words made her stomach clench and heart stutter in her chest.
“I’m not ready,” she whispered into the darkness, grabbing a pillow and clutching to her chest. Like a child, searching for anything soft to fight against the darkness, Lucy clung to the pillow until finally falling back into another round of restless sleep, silently begging for the strength to give her friends what they wanted without shattering before them.
---
Saturday
From: Levy
(07:34) Lucy I know you’re in there, just open the door so Cana can quit knocking
(07:34) LUUUUCCCYYYY
(07:35) You promised, come on!
(07:39) One of your neighbors is coming out to yell at us omg
(07:41) YOU LITTLE SNEAK GET BACK HERE AND ANSWER YOUR PHONE
 Lucy bit her bottom lip as she scrolled through the texts, dozens of them pinging her phone for the last few hours. A few missed calls, but no angry voice messages waiting for her. Perhaps it wasn’t the smartest decision she could have made, but when she found herself awake again around seven in the morning, Lucy had panicked. The idea of explaining everything still felt too overwhelming, so she did the only thing she could think of to prolong it a little more.
Her first thought had been to hide away in the back offices of the library, but even if Levy didn’t technically have access anymore, it wouldn’t necessarily deter her from barging in anyways. Hibiki wouldn’t stop her if she was on a rampage – for someone so physically small, her friend could certainly pack a punch when angered. Her next thought was to simply take Plue and leave town for a few days, maybe head up to Acalphya and visit her mother’s grave. It had been quite some time since she paid her respects, but she ultimately decided against it on account of not wanting her first visit in five years to be a means of escape. So instead, she chose to walk around the city. It was simple, and Magnolia was large enough that she could safely assume they wouldn’t find her too easily, allowing her to settle herself into what was to come.
Eventually, of course, she would owe her friends an explanation and probably a little more as a result of her cowardice. Lucy just needed more time to prepare herself, that was all. That was what she kept repeating to herself, at any rate. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to keep her from panicking and doing anything worse than simply taking a walk. Plue trotted happily alongside her, tail thumping against her calf as he enjoyed the good weather, oblivious to her turmoil . Apart from the looming sense of dread, it would have been a perfect morning. Just a girl and her dog as they aimlessly walked the paths that they’d walked dozens of times before. She stopped to check on some sales and ignored her phone as it continued to numb her thigh from the constant vibrations. To anyone who saw her, Lucy looked just an everyday resident in a relaxing walk with her dog.
Internally, however, her mind was positively ablaze. Attempted predictions of what her friends would ask, trying to plan out how she’d respond, if she would respond. How much detail they’d force her to go into, whether it’d be worth it to fight them for her privacy. Around and around it went, refusing to be silenced for more than a couple minutes at a time.
Beneath the flurry of thoughts and anxieties, Natsu’s song was still stuck in her head. She caught herself humming it as she walked and forced herself to stop, only to do the same thing all over again a couple minutes later. It was unusual for a melody to latch itself to her thoughts like this, but it was a pleasant distraction from everything else. Better to hum his song than listen to her father berating her in her memories or the questions her friends would no doubt be asking in the near future. Besides, it wasn’t the worst tune to have looping in her head, just a bit strange.
Lucy found herself wondering more about him – when did he start playing? Who taught him to play without sheet music? How well did he and Levy know each other? Plue had tugged her over near a tree to sniff around, and she stared out at the canal as she thought. As far as she could recall, Levy had never mentioned her piano prodigy foster brother, or really anything at all about her time in foster care. Not that she seemed particularly unwilling, Lucy just wasn’t sure whether she should ask. And, well, if she was being totally honest with herself, she had hoped that the less she asked about her friends lives before college, the less they’d ask about her own. It had worked, for the most part.
At the end of the day, she had wanted to leave that part of her life behind her so she could become someone else. A stronger person, one who didn’t cower under the harsh look of her father.
Plue tugged on the leash again, and the sudden strain on her arm snapped her out of her thoughts. Lucy sighed, gently leading him towards a wooden bench so neither of them would be in the way of passing pedestrians. Was she really any better now than she was five years ago? Always running away, never confronting her demons.
With her phone now in hand, however, it seemed much easier said than done. Lucy stared at the screen, throat swelling at the boxes of texts that littered her screen. What was usually a calming background image was nearly hidden by the sheer quantity of unopened messages. That in of itself was overwhelming enough, the not so subtle reminders of what was waiting for her just beyond the lock screen. Lucy closed her eyes and let her arm lower back to her side, hand trembling a little around the device as she placed it screen-side down. Much easier said than done, it seemed.
She stayed there for a few moments longer, growing increasingly annoyed with herself. This was all so silly, she kept telling herself. She was acting like a child.
“Lucy? Is everything alright?”
Lucy’s head snapped up, blinking up at the person standing before her. Lisanna leaned in, a concerned look decorating her brilliant blue eyes. “I didn’t mean to startle you!” she said quickly, backing away and holding her hands up. “You seemed a little distressed, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt.”
She blinked a few times as her words processed, steadily realizing how she must have looked. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” Lucy said with a nervous laugh, holding up Plue’s leash. “Took him out for a walk and just needed a breather.” Lisanna nodded slowly, biting down on her bottom lip. An awkward silence settled between them, neither particularly sure what to say. They’d shared a class together, had interacted a few times within the confines of that class, but apart from meeting again at Fairy Tail the night before, it had always just been confined to the classroom. Lucy expected her to be on her way, but Lisanna remained in place, chewing on her bottom lip and shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “I’m sorry, is there someth –”
“I’m so sorry, Cana and Levy asked me to help them look for you.”
The words spilled out her mouth in a rush, and Lucy groaned. To her credit, Lisanna did look a little ashamed at having agreed, pale cheeks now a blotchy red. “I shouldn’t be so surprised,” Lucy mumbled, keeping her face buried in her hands.
She felt the bench shift a little as Lisanna took a seat next to her. “They’re, um, really worried about you,” Lisanna offered. “I’ve known them for a while, and I can honestly say I’ve never seen Cana so riled up unless it involved alcohol or Gildarts.” Lucy groaned again, body curling further so that her forehead pressed against her knees. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?”
For a few seconds, Lucy didn’t respond. If she wasn’t ready to tell her closest friends the story, she certainly wasn’t ready to tell someone she hardly knew. “I just,” Lucy started, finally lifting herself up. Her eyes stared forward, watching the park rather than her companion. “I kept a big secret from them and now that they know, they want all the details. It sounds so silly, but I’m just not sure if I’m ready to tell them about it. It’s not really something I’ve spoken about in a long time.” Lisanna didn’t say anything, but she could see her nodding from the corner of her eye. “And now that the thing in question has reinserted itself back into my life, it all feels so overwhelming.”
Less than twenty-four hours she’d been dealing with this. It felt like a lifetime already, but it was hardly even a full day. “You know, they aren’t trying to make things feel overwhelming,” Lisanna said softly. Lucy glanced towards her, but she was looking down at Plue as he pawed at her legs. “And if it’s really something that painful, they would never force you to talk about it. They’d understand, is what I’m trying to say.”
It seemed so obvious when she said it like that. Cana could be pushy, sure, but she knew when the line had been drawn and when it was time to back off. Heat filled her cheeks at how childish she had acted. Was acting. “You’re right,” she said, offering her a small smile. “I’ve been acting like a little kid about everything.”
“That’s alright. They can come off pretty strong when they want something,” Lisanna laughed. “If you’re going to find them, you better hurry. I thought I heard Levy say something about calling Erza in for the hunt, and if you think Cana can be tough…”
Lucy frowned. Natsu had mentioned an Erza as well. “I’m sorry, who is ‘Erza’?” she asked curiously, tugging on Plue’s leash so that he didn’t attempt to chase after a passing dog. “Natsu mentioned it the other morning as well.” Lisanna seemed to perk up a little at the mention of Natsu, eyes a little wider. Lucy blinked. “Oh, I actually ran into him yesterday morning,” she explained with a short laugh. “He was practicing in the CPA and I was passing through and got a little curious. I wasn’t going to interrupt him, but I accidentally made a noise and he jumped up and apologized, and then said ‘you’re not Erza’ when he realized it was just me.”
“That sounds like Natsu,” Lisanna said fondly. The affection in her voice was thick, but there was no time to ask her about it. “Erza is a good friend of ours, Levy and Cana too. She was one of Gramps’ first foster kids, and since she’s always been a little older than the rest of us, she kind of became our big sister. Making sure we did our homework, stayed out of trouble.”
“I assume that sneaking into university buildings wasn’t a lesson.”
Lisanna laughed again, nodding. “Natsu was always getting into trouble growing up,” she said. “As a result, he dealt with Erza’s wrath a bit more often than anyone else. He didn’t help himself by constantly trying to usurp her title of being the ‘strongest’ among us. It’s good to see that he’s still got a healthy fear of her; maybe he’ll quit breaking into the CPA now.” Lucy grinned, wondering if that had ever stopped him before.
Gathering up Plue’s leash, she rose to her feet, brushing off the front of her shirt a little. “Thanks for finding me,” she told Lisanna as she also stood. “I’ll let Cana and Levy know I’m ready to talk now. And,” Lucy tilted her head a little, watching her carefully. “I’d love to hang out some time.”
She seemed a little surprised by the offer, but a bright smile quickly spread. “Definitely! Here, let me add your number in my phone so we can try to plan something.” The girls exchanged cell phones, quickly typing in their respective numbers. “Oh, maybe we could have a girls day!” Lisanna said once they each had their own device again. “You could meet Erza and Juvia, too!” Admittedly, Lucy wasn’t too certain how she would feel having a girls night that was comprised of at least two people she had never met before, but it was difficult not to share in the girls excitement.
With a grin, she started to turn. “Absolutely,” Lucy called. “That’d be amazing!”
Lisanna grinned back, waving a little as Plue began pulling her further down the street. “I’ll see you around, Lucy!”
 To: Levy, Cana
(9:43) Meet me at the coffee place in ten minutes. I’ll explain everything.
 “What the absolute fuck was all that about, Heartfilia?!” Cana started, leaning across the table with a dangerous look in her eyes. “Don’t you think for even one second you can make up for this with coffee and a quick story!” Lucy held her hands up in the air between them, but otherwise did not interrupt her friends well deserved tirade. “We were worried sick! And then that cryptic text? Come on!”
Levy was nodding along vigorously, cheeks puffed out and arms crossed. “You could have at least told us you needed more time,” she huffed. This time, it took some genuine effort to avoid pointing out that they had been pounding on her door at nearly eight in the morning looking for answers. Asking for more time hadn’t necessarily felt like a viable option. “That was really irresponsible of you!”
“I know!” Lucy interrupted, deciding to finally cut them off before they could go too far into their no doubt rehearsed speeches. “It was stupid and childish.” Levy deflated a little bit, but Cana remained steady in her anger, dark eyes narrowing into a pointed glare. “I just…wasn’t ready to talk about it. And, honestly, I still don’t think I am now, either. But you guys are my friends, and this isn’t something I can keep running away from,” she continued, finally lowering her hands back to the table. Her fingers trailed around the edges of her iced coffee, collecting small beads of moisture.
Across the table, Levy gently nudged Cana with her arm, gesturing subtly to Lucy with her head in a silent message. Cana only stared at her with an unamused expression before heaving an exasperated sigh, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I get it,” she grumbled. “Everyone’s got shit they’d rather not talk about. You don't have to tell us every little detail or anything.”
Lucy smiled, taking a deep breath. One more sip of coffee and then a quick wipe of the perspiration falling down the sides before she looked back up at them, not surprised to find them both watching her intently. “I started playing when I was about four. Pretty self taught, mostly done in secret. Then for my mama’s birthday that year, I showed her my progress,” Lucy started, eventually returning her gaze to her drink. “After that, she and papa started to teach me, and once he felt I was ready, I started doing recitals and a couple contests around town. My first major performance was when I was seven, which I think is what all those articles quote as my debut.” Levy nodded, leading forward in her excitement. Cana, however, was leaning back, arms crossed against her chest. “Not long after that was when my mama started to get sick and so my father took over as my instructor. He was…overzealous, to say the least. So even though it was something I only really wanted to do for mama, he wanted to make it about being the absolute best.”
She hesitated, hands still fidgeting against the drink. The words were right there, waiting patiently for her to speak them into existence.
Instead, she shrugged. “After that, I guess you probably read in the articles. All the tours and concerts and special solo’s,” she said softly. “I really did enjoy it, for the most part. It was all I had known, I guess. Mama used to play for me when I was really little, so the music was always right there. And, you know, getting to travel around and meet these musicians my parents admired was incredible!” A smile was decorating her face at the fond memories, but it started to slip as she looked down once more. “Then my mother passed away.”
Lucy paused to take a long drink of her coffee, needing the time to collect herself once more. Talking about her mother was something she tried to avoid, the memories still as raw now as they had been the night it happened. “After that, Papa…changed. I don’t know, I think even when she was sick, Mama kept him from getting too carried away. For her, it was more about the music and enjoying myself. But Papa wouldn’t accept anything less than absolute perfection.” Levy’s eyes narrowed a little, glancing over to Cana with a worried tilt of her head. Lucy didn’t see it, too absorbed in watching a small drip of condensation as it moved down her cup. “It stopped being fun. My entire life was consumed with practicing and traveling and performing. I stopped going to school entirely and switched to online classes, didn’t even really have the chance to make friends,” she said, offering a delicate shrug of her shoulders. “So one day, I decided that I didn’t want to live like that anymore.”
Silence settled over the three of them, her friends uncertain of what to say. “Lucy,” Levy finally said after a few terse moments. “Lucy, I’m so sorry, that must have been really difficult for you.” Cana nodded, finally shifting forward, hands resting against the table like she might say something. “Have you ever considered, um, playing again? You know, just for yourself, no concerts or anything like that.”
“Not really,” Lucy sighed. “I put that part of my life behind me, so I’m not really interested in revisiting it or anything like that.”
“Alright, but wouldn’t that be the ultimate ‘fuck you’ to your dad?” Cana asked, a wicked smile spreading across her face. “To start playing again after all these years but for free? For no recognition or anything?” Levy’s eyes widened and she started to bounce a little in her seat like the excitement was too much for her to handle. “Think of how angry he’d be if you walked away only to return as some nobody bar performer!”
Despite the absurdity of it all, even Lucy had to laugh. It would certainly be something for her father to hear about that. Years and years of grooming, of rules being beaten into her – sometimes literally – only to return to the violin as some sort of stage performer. Like a fiddler. “You’re not wrong,” she said, holding her hands up. With that single joke, Cana had managed to puncture the tension that had been settling between them ever since they first heard her utter the word ‘violin’. The fear of speaking about it slowly dissipated as the girls told their jokes and imagined increasingly outrageous ways for her to give one last middle finger to her old life.
How foolish she had been, Lucy realized, to run from her friends.
As they eventually settled down, tears still pricking the corner of their eyes, Cana leaned forward once more. “So I heard a funny little thing last night,” she said. Lucy tensed, knowing that borderline singsongy voice. Levy seemed just as confused as she was, however, looking between the two of them curiously. “You and Natsu seemed to really hit it off last night, hm?”
Lucy blinked, lips parting. Immediately, her heart started to race in her chest, and while she tried to think of a quick explanation or denial, her face colored. “Oh my God did you leave Fairy Tail with Natsu last night?!” Levy screeched, pointing a finger at her wildly. “You and Natsu?!”
“N-no!” Lucy tried, but the damage was done. Damn her pale skin and tendency to blush in situations like this! “I mean, yes, kind of, but not the way you’re thinking!” Cana howled with laughter, clutching her stomach while Levy visibly freaked out. “It’s not what you think! He just walked me home!”
Both of them shared a similar sound of disbelief, prompting Lucy to bury her still blushing face against her hands. “We’ve known Natsu for a pretty long time,” Cana said, leaning forward again. “So we can say with certainty that he’s never walked a pretty girl home after a gig. Not a stranger, at any rate. So-o…” She let her voice carry on, dark eyebrows wiggling. “Did you at least get his number? I have it if you didn’t, he’s a great drinking buddy. I swear I’ve never seen that kid actually end up drunk.” Lucy didn’t look up from her hands, pressing her forehead against the tabletop. “Maybe we should call him and get his side of the story?”
Before Cana could even whip out her phone, Lucy was on her feet. Red-faced and huffing in annoyance, bag thrown carelessly over her shoulder. “Aw, come on, we’re just messing around,” Levy whined, reaching out to grab her hand. “Don’t go!”
Lucy sighed, cheeks still puffed out in a pout. “I have to work,” she explained, pulling her arm free from her friends’ grasp before she accidentally smacked in on the table. “I traded with Hibiki so I could go to Crocus yesterday.” Levy slumped against the table a little, face still screwed in an adorable pout. Cana just leaned back, lifting her drink up. “Oh, I ran into Lisanna before I came here. She mentioned something about a girls day.” Both of them perked up at the idea. “I need to leave, but I’ll talk to you guys later.”
With one last wave over her shoulder, she left, tossing the empty coffee cup in the trash bin as she passed. She hadn’t expected to leave this conversation feeling as good as she did, but Lucy wouldn’t trade this feeling for the world. Her friends had accepted her story without prying too deep into the dark undertones she couldn’t exclude entirely. It seemed even more ridiculous now that she had tried so fervently to run from it all. For the first time in too many years, her past felt less like some heavy anchor tied around her ankle and more like a simple fact.
She entered the library in this good mood, waving hello to her coworkers and various students as she made her way to the back room to check where Hibiki had been assigned today. Top floor, reshelving. Not the most exciting way to spend the next six hours. Lucy didn’t complain, however, simply pulled her work lanyard over her head and grabbed the heavy fifth floor cart.
While she worked, her thoughts wandered – to the various titles she read, to her own current work in progress, to Natsu. He was like a pebble caught in the sole of her thoughts, refusing to go away no matter often she tried. She even put in headphones so that she could drown out the lingering memory of his tune. But shelving wasn’t exactly the most thought provoking of assignments, so her thoughts kept finding ways to circle back around. Peeling gold lettering across a dark burgundy book led to thoughts of reds and oranges led to flames led to the vibrant shift in the tune led to – damn it. If Cana and Levy hadn’t been teasing her before she left, this wouldn’t be happening!
Lucy rolled her eyes at her own inability to quiet her thoughts, reaching down to grab the next book. Her fingers crashed against something hard a little sooner than expected, and she half turned to see how she had misjudged the familiar distance when a startled screech escaped her.
Like a manifestation of her own thoughts, Natsu stood beside her cart with a book in hand and arm half extended towards her. Lucy tried to twist in her surprise at someone standing right next to her but all that happened was the step-stool teetering on its old wooden legs as it sent her to the ground. One of her earbuds fell out in the air, leaving her with half a song playing happily along and the sound of his laughter burning in the other ear. Splotches of red appeared on her cheeks as she glared at him, fingers twitching on the book that had fallen with her as she considered whether to throw it at his head for scaring her like that. “Stop laughing!” she snapped, picking herself up.
Natsu was doubled over, eyes screwed shut and arms thrown across his stomach. A few studying students huffed in annoyance, but he just kept on laughing. Once Lucy had gotten to her feet, she stormed back over to him, ready to smack him, but he just caught her wrists easily, still chuckling. “The look on your face,” he said in between puffs of laughter. Lucy struggled against his hold, but he never let her get too close as he calmed down. “Sorry, I just – I thought you knew I was there.”
“I was listening to music!” Lucy snapped, keeping her voice hushed to avoid disrupting anyone further. “I thought you weren’t a student here anymore, what are you doing here?”
“You don’t have to be a student to come to a library,” he reminded her, finally releasing her wrists. “I came over because I thought you might be upset about last night, and if you were, I wanted to apologize.” Lucy stared at him in surprise, eyebrows furrowing together a little. He had his hands shoved into his pockets, looking as casual as could be, but there was a sort of glint in his eyes that made her wonder if there was more to it. “So, anyways, sorry.”
Lucy ran her tongue across the back of her teeth. “It’s fine,” she said after a second, shaking her head. “I’m sorry I threw you out. That might have been an overreaction.” He chuckled again, and she could her the quiet ‘ya think?’ but chose not to acknowledge it. Instead, she grabbed the book again and stepped back onto the stool so she could continue working. “To properly answer your question – yes, I used to play. I don’t anymore, though.”
He leaned against the bookshelf, neck arched up as he watched her with bright eyes. “How come?”
“It’s a long story,” Lucy huffed, glancing down at him. Natsu seemed unperturbed by her tone, just gazed back up at her with a slight tilt of his head. His silence was making her anxious, however, and she quickly turned away. “It’s just not something I do anymore. I’ve moved on, I guess.”
As she reached down for another book, he handed it up to her, this time a frown tugging his lips down. “You’ve moved on? What, from the music?” he asked. Lucy fidgeted a little under his intense look, trying to find the proper words without explaining too much to a near stranger.
“Something like that.” It wasn’t exactly true, but it was enough for now. “I haven’t played in five years, and I don’t really intend to change that.”
No further questions followed, but Natsu remained by her side as she moved down the shelf. Handing her books at random for a second before she gave in and started pointing out which ones she needed to make her job go by a little quicker. He stayed quiet for the most part, but his eyes never lost that glint nor the intense look. Finally, as she neared the edge of the shelf, Lucy couldn’t help herself anymore. “Not to be rude or anything, but is there any reason you’re helping me do my job?”
A grin slowly spread across his face. “No, it just seemed like the nice thing to do.” Lucy stared at him. “Thought if I buttered you up, you’d be more less likely to scream when I told ya’ what I decided.”
This time, her heart skipped in her chest. Decided? Decided what? Something to do with her? Was he about to ask her on a date?! Immediately, Lucy’s head filled with dozens of polite ways to turn him down, clichés bouncing off her skull – it’s not you it’s me, you seem nice but we hardly know each other, I really need to focus on my studies and my assistantship, Cana and Levy will never let me live it down if I say yes – but he didn’t give her the chance to voice any of her concerns. Instead, he pulled his other hand out of his pocket, placing on one his hip and rather dramatically pointing the other one directly at her, fingertip hovering close enough that she went cross eyed.
“I’ve decided you’re going to perform with me next week at Fairy Tail!”
29 notes · View notes
lacrimosathedark · 6 years
Text
I have a “call out post” for hellosandersfanders, since they’ve been so goddamn “kind” going around and “correcting” people~  I actually have them blocked so honestly it’s more of a vent and an informational post for people who are yet to block them. I’m also not tagging anyone so as to not bother them, but I use their full usernames you’ll still know what I’m talking about.
If you want a TL;DR, I essentially repeat this multiple times: PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO ENJOY THINGS. LET OTHERS ENJOY THINGS. YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIKE IT BUT DON’T BE A DICK ABOUT IT.
I’ll start off with the preface that most of their “call-outs” aren’t tagged appropriately. Specifically, they tag thomas sanders as well as the original basic ships. So these could just pop up when you’re looking for some Patton and Logan snuggles or some Roman and Virgil banter or anything else. Which is really fucking shitty, especially when they gripe about people tagging incorrectly. You’ll see.
In their bio and later in a post they talk about how they are saying what everyone else is too scared to say and denying that they’re a hate blog. Actually, this is their bio: “THIS IS NOT A HATE BLOG. This is a blog that calls out blogs and people that need to be called out. I'm taking it upon myself to make sure that everyone's blog experience is trouble free by setting bloggers straight.” But when you go after people, not even critiquing but full on criticizing and attacking them, that’s not a call-out, that’s hate. And here’s another thing. You can be the smartest dick in the room, but if you’re still a dick no one wants to listen to you. 
Their first post is “Call out posts to fanders who draw fusions that include Deceit: that counts as a Deceit ship and it won’t hurt you to tag it as such. Stop being disrespectful and tag your stuff appropriately.”  Saying a fusion counts as a ship isn’t necessarily the case, for one. And then says it’s disrespectful to not tag them as a Deceit ship. I know a lot of the time reblogs don’t get appropriately tagged, but if you go back to the original work, all of them are tagged for Deceit in some way, and often have said fusion in the tags (Loceit, Moceit, Princeit, Anxceit). I have never seen a fusion where the original artist didn’t tag the fusion components. And it’s well known that some people don’t like Deceit or are triggered by him in some way, so most fanders make an active effort to tag him. So that’s bullshit point one.
The next rude post they criticized cattonsanders for not tagging food and eating warnings for their compilation of the Sanders Sides characters not eating properly. But here’s the thing, while it wasn’t tagged, they said right in the post what it was, and the first frames are literally a title card saying “nobody in sanders sides knows how to eat”. And they didn’t say “hey, can you try to tag food and eating in the future?”, they said “ this is cute but you should’ve put a tag warning for food and/or eating. next time be mindful of other people.” like they have the right to scold and demand. 
Next was them commenting on people commenting on a gif: “is it really necessary to add your comments on gifsets? why couldn’t you add it on the tags?” Why shouldn’t people talk in reblogs? You aren’t obligated to be part of the conversation or say anything, you can even go back to the original post without commentary and people enjoying themselves and reblog the original post. What is so goddamn tedious about seeing people talking and having fun over content they mutually enjoy? Fuck off with your fun-sucking bullshit.
They have made a handful of comments on randomslasher/LJ’s posts as well as a call-out so I’ll summarize: They think “LJ is everywhere” is and overdone joke and finds it “grating” that people still enjoy it, they think LJ is a hypocrite for understanding people don’t like Deceit while also sharing Deceit content, they say LJ doesn’t stand for anything and is a people-pleaser, and they said people shouldn’t “worship” them because they don’t stand for anything. So, to hit all of those points, as follows; You aren’t required to like a joke but as long as it doesn’t harm anyone just let people enjoy things. You don’t have to like something for it to be good. Next, people are allowed to like Deceit. The same way people can like Moriarty or the Joker or Deadpool or any character of poor or ambiguous morality. You can like a character that’s not a great person. Being aware that he upsets people just means you tag the content appropriately, not that you have to stop liking or sharing it because it makes other people uncomfortable. LJ isn’t a hypocrite for still sharing Deceit content if they like Deceit so long as they tag appropriately, jegus fuck. And I don’t know much about LJ, but do they really have to “stand for something”? It’s their blog, not yours, and it’s for fun, it doesn’t have to have a deeper purpose. And people don’t worship LJ, but they are admired for their content and personality. But they, and many other bigger blogs in this fandom, are constantly reminding their followers that they too are just people and just Fanders. It’s not fair to dislike them just for being well-liked. That’s just petty. They then whined when LJ blocked them, essentially calling them a coward. But I’ve seen LJ discuss things with people of less than like minds, and they aren’t perfect but they’re pretty respectful. They blocked you because you’re a whiny bitch, not because you disagree with them.
Next they went after princelogical. They said Marin is just imitating Logan in how he “speaks” and it’s “annoying and fake”. That rubs me the wrong way because I have been told I type like Logan talks at times, but y’know what? I’ve been told before ever hearing the name Thomas Sanders that my writing seems cold and distant and intelligent and precise. That is how I learned to write and express myself. It’s possible, even likely, that Marin is similar, that he is similar to Logan in that way and were prior to Logan existing. And people who mimic or pretend to be the characters that they criticize, so fucking what? People aren’t allowed to explore the characters or themselves, or practice writing or getting into character like that? They also say: “He’s also very in your face about being christian, which is very offensive to people of other religion like myself.” News flash, buddy, they say right in their bio that they’re Christian. Don’t like it, don’t follow him. And here’s a thing, I hate organized religion with a burning passion. But his religiousness never does more than poke at a nerve. And he uses it as a way to spread positivity instead of hate like a lot of Christians do nowadays. And hey, that someone is personally another religion and shares it on their personal blog is not an offense to someone of a different religion, be fucking mature.
They next attacked organizeddiscord, and I don’t really know Sam so I’m gonna argue more with their points, if I make a wrong assumption about her I apologise. For context, I don’t know if she does this so imma put the first part of their comment for you to judge rather than piece it apart: “Does nothing but complain about her content not being reblogged then constantly makes posts that guilt trip people into reblogging her content, starts unnecessary drama,  and  acts mean and horrible towards Deceit fans. I don’t like Deceit too but I never act the way she does.” After that they go on to say how she is “forcing” the Virgil/Thomas ship on the fandom and how it’s disrespectful to Thomas. Look, I hate that ship too, it weirds me out, but no one is forced to read any of what she posts about it (blocked tags and tumblr savior exist for a reason) and anyone is allowed to create anything they want, that’s not forcing it on anyone. And I don’t see how it’s disrespectful to Thomas. Sanders Sides Thomas is a characters, Shorts Thomas is a character, they aren’t real. Thomas knows abut ships, he has said he thinks they’re cute. He makes jokes about the concept of sleep essentially being his wild boyfriend, and there was a joke about him sharing his bed with his anxiety, which is essentially Shorts verse version of Virgil. And guess what? You don’t have to like it for her to be able to enjoy it. She’s allowed to enjoy it. They later said she was plagiarizing when she took a text post that has been circling around, and also sourced it, and made it a Sanders Sides essentially fake quote. And they demanded she take it down. Buddy...that’s not how things work. It’s not plagiarism if you say it’s not yours. And she did the right thing in sourcing it too. But this happens all the time, are you going to attack every “fake quotes” thing ever, even just in this fandom? Because honey even you don’t have the time for that.
They then go after theonlyjelly-iwillput-inmybelly and boy did I feel like a cat with their hairs on end when I saw them be a dick to Cole. They don’t like Cole’s shitposty humor. It’s not for everyone but a lot of people think he’s funny. And some of his crazy shenanigans come from medications or even from just being bilingual and keeping words right. The “childish talk” I find funny, and it’s not like it’s baby talk, and it can also be rather insightful. Plus even if you think he sounds stupid, here’s the thing: most people sound smarter in their native language. Cole isn’t from an English-speaking country. He is allowed to not use every word like it came out of your goddamn English textbook or some stupid novel or whatever. And the bear thing is because his username and icon are a reference to Crofter’s whose mascot is a bear. If you aren’t gonna bitch at Thomas for making so many Crofter’s jokes, then leave Cole the fuck alone for it.
They then made a call-out for what-even-is-thiss and...sadly I agree with them on this one, though I hate how rudely they worded it, so I’m just gonna copy what they said. ““Roman” if that’s even his real name, has no regards to other people’s feelings and just says whatever the hell enters that brain of his. He is so bad that other blogs have called him out. And yet he acts as if nothing has happened. No remorse or anything.” I will say one thing though; Roman, to my recollection, is a trans guy and chose his name. He’s allowed to choose any name he fucking wants. And even if that’s not his real name? It’s the fucking internet didn’t you guardian teach you not to give out personal information on the internet?
They then called out anxietys-room for not being helpful and for passing it off to followers to give advice. Here’s the thing; they aren’t professionals. They are normal people who want to help people struggling and can only do so much. And I’ve seen a number of times them pushing help lines for people who desperately need that. How shitty do you have to be to attack something so well-intentioned?
They then yelled at insanelycoolish for not putting their story under a “Keep Reading”, which they used later for their taglist. It’s a fair thing to say, long posts you don’t care to read are obnoxious. However, they didn’t ask if Finn could fix it or do something else next time. They said this: “would it kill you both to add all of these under a read more?” “you both” presumably is referring to the-pastel-peach, whom Finn was conversing with because she enjoyed his fic. But she can’t do anything, it’s not her post. Ugh I’m so sick of this dude...
This is all that’s on their account for now, but let’s circle back to their bio. No one needs to be called out for having a different sense of humor than you or liking things you don’t like. You aren’t making the fandom trouble-free, you’re causing trouble and pain and anger by attacking our friends. Maybe that’s your real intent. But either way, you have made yourself our enemy.
You have no right to consider yourself a Fander, so I hope you don’t. Thomas preaches caring and acceptance, and asking nicely for things you need. He would be ashamed of you.
17 notes · View notes
Note
What about the v3 boys (plus gundham if thats ok) with an s/o who has a god complex?
Tumblr media
Yeah, I’ll try this! I’m not very good at writing characters from games outside of v3, but tell me if it sucks, okay? I kind of poured my heart and soul into this.
-Mod Maki
Saihara Shuuichi✎
At first, you seemed like a normal sweet girl.
He would hang out with you occasionally, and then he started to fall deeper in love with you.
Eventually, he couldn’t take all the sleepless nights and needless anxiety.
He had to say something.
He approached you, asked you out and it went well.
And you had dated for a while before your true colours leaked through.
Apparently, you had been too nervous to act like yourself around him when you were just friends.
Then, he noticed, slowly, that you had started to act differently.
You started being a lot more… whiny and demanding.
Sometimes, you’d just harass him for no reason other than “I have a right to, it is ME you’re with, after all!”
At first, he thought you meant you had a reputation of being annoying.
But no, you hadn’t meant that whatsoever.
Eventually, you started putting more and more pressure on Saihara to live up to your ‘standards’.
He found it odd.
How could you go from so sweet so something like this?
Oh well, he has dealt with worse as the Ultimate Detective.
This was nothing in comparison to that.
Then, you started referring to yourself as ‘kami’ and ‘God’.
That wasn’t all.
You’d make him do everything and be extremely dominant for everything.
At this point, it was embarrassing to go out in public.
Eventually, he confronted you, after being stressed out to no end.
You broke down crying, apologising, telling him that you couldn’t control it.
You had self-worth issues - but you didn’t want to face that reality.
So by turning to narcissism, it was a healing process for you.
He supports you in whatever you wanna do unless it’s unreasonable. At least now he has a reason for your behaviour.
Amami Rantaro❂
When he first met you, you were still the same.
He had gotten to know you because, honestly, nobody liked you.
Amami’s a big believer in seeing the good in all people.
This must be unjust, he thought.
It’s not far for you to cop so much shit for… nothing, really.
So, he was curious and befriended you.
He immediately saw why people talked so much crap about you and told him to stay away.
All of his friends had basically wished you a farewell.
All this time - nobody had told him you were like this.
He didn’t find it too particularly offputting, to be honest.
He could put up with it.
Sure, being called a scum and a peasant wasn’t necessarily the most pleasant experience.
But, really, it was nothing to have a whole community hate you over.
Then, he was a little surprised.
One day, you asked him out.
He accepted because, by that point, he had an idea of how to knock you off your high horse.
And he used that trick… often.
Sometimes, it got a little overbearing.
Listening to the insults, the self-centred personality. 
But it wasn’t anything to leave you over.
He didn’t have any personal problems with it and he wouldn’t think anything negative about you.
You may need a little bit of help -maybe learning how to control your tongue- but other than that, you were a perfectly normal person.
It was a little bothersome, having to perform even the simplest task for you, albeit.
Though, he loved you more than anything…
You were God and he was your disciple, that’s how it all played out in your world.
He didn’t have any problems with it, honestly. It called for a different experience.
Kiibo✪
Kiibo was a little bit clueless when it came to this.
Being put into a situation where he HAD to befriend you was a little tiresome.
He had heard everything about you. You were stuck up, annoying and selfish.
He didn’t really want anything to do with that.
You might give him the information he doesn’t need and clog up his systems.
But… he had to be with you for now.
Then, he realised why everyone hates you.
You were referring to yourself as God and basically bullying him like Ouma.
You reminded him of Ouma… a lot.
Then, eventually, you started hanging out more.
He liked you, sure, but you were still a bit of a pain.
Then, you asked him out.
He was a little surprise, considering you were so high and mighty.
But… he didn’t know if he liked you back.
But he said yes.
A part of him wanted to say no, but you were in his heart now.
He deals with you as much as he can, and since he’s a robot, he has the ability to not take things to heart when he chooses to.
Kaito Momota✯
He just didn’t know what was up with you.
You were really good looking...
So how can someone with such a pretty face be like... that?
He didn’t quite know what to make of it.
He isn’t the smartest, but he eventually caught on.
He started figuring out your weak points when it came to flustering you.
He knew how to beat you down a notch by the time you two ended up dating.
Since you were way more controllable, he didn’t quite find it to be too bothersome!
Sometimes he’d buy you Christian gifts as a gag, considering you called yourself God.
It annoyed you that he wasn’t taking you seriously!
But... it is still an offering, you supposed.
What kind of God refuses an offering from a lower-down?
You two seem to have a pretty happy relationship since Kaito asserts himself more than he used to.
Gonta Gokuhara✿
Gonta... did not get the point.
“God? What that?”
He’s... he’s useless.
It’s not even any fun putting up your charade.
He just tilts his head and goes silent until you say something.
He’s literally the perfect person to fool.
You fill his head with lies, about how you’re god and how you’re a divine being with all this power...
Until he eventually questions it.
If you’re so high up, why can’t you control anything?
Why do bad things happen?
You eventually have to spill the beans that you just picture yourself that way in your head.
He gets it when you explain it like that and it makes sense to him now.
He’s a bit angry that he was tricked... but he can understand why you’d pretend to be something you’re not if you didn’t like your normal self.
He’s pretty understanding and the night you confessed the true meaning of calling yourself God, you two had a really long cuddle-session!
Ouma Kokichi♕
Around these parts, they call you the cursed duo.
You’re both literally the exact same.
You argue a lot, actually.
Over who is the disciple and who is God.
It’s pretty funny to watch because nothing you two say makes sense.
You actually have a pretty healthy relationship, despite all that.
When you do agree on who’s who, it’s really peaceful.
Since you both are so similar, you know how to communicate.
You usually spend a lot of time trying to fluster Ouma, which seems nearly impossible.
He’ll try a few things on you too.
Mostly, your relationship is pure... little arguments here and there, but nearly every relationship does.
Korekiyo Shinguuji✞
Of all the people he’s met...
None are quite like you.
You’re living in a fantasy world, this much he knows.
Despite knowing this, he played along.
He knows it’s never good to bring people like you back into reality.
There’s probably a reason you’re like this.
He’s just waiting for the dramatic breakdown.
You two usually just spend a lot of time in silence.
This annoys you, obviously.
He should be paying attention to a deity like yourself!
How rude!
Sometimes, you get a bit fed up with him and you make him pay attention.
With this, he responds by... reading to you.
Not quite what you wanted, but... it’s good enough.
You usually end up falling asleep and Korekiyo will just watch.
You look peaceful for once in your life.
He wonders what it is that’s troubling you so much.
Hoshi Ryoma☯
He understands why you do this.
He has a terrible self-esteem, so he gets it.
It used to be fun for him to pretend he was great...
The charm wore off eventually.
He was a bit like this at one point, so he knows how to deal with it.
Just play along, treat them as they want to be treated.
It’s pretty easy to him.
Though, sometimes you’re pretty troublesome and demanding.
He’s learnt to use his height as an excuse for not doing things.
You never seem to figure out he’s just bluffing.
It’s pretty obvious, but it works for him.
Gundam Tanaka ♠
When he meets you, he’s instantly offended.
Um no??
He’s the Supreme Overlord of Ice??
You are not a God, he would be able to tell.
He tries to convince you of this over and over again...
Until you convince him that his judgement may be off.
He’s shook.
The Supreme Overlord’s judgement couldn’t be failing him, could it?
Oh well.
You’ve won.
Together, you two shall rule the lands as two gods!
A perfect duo... nothing will go wrong!
Except, sometimes he gets a little fed up with you just being... you.
It’s annoying.
Except he can never stay mad at you. 
He wouldn’t want to anger a God and bring misfortune upon himself.
72 notes · View notes