#Was isolated throughout a big portion of his life

[chaikachi]

Treasure is a Rosegarden Song

HEAR ME OUT OKAY. I've known for a while it could be sort of linked back to them, but it felt easier to brush it off as a general whole team reunion song... Until today's new episode.

⚠ SPOILERS AHEAD, YE HAVE BEEN WARNED ⚠

We got a very big win today with the Bees, they even got a whole new song that Casey has confirmed is bmblb part 2 (check her twitter, i'm not linking it lol). Which... really makes you wonder if they'd have that many Bees songs back to back, right? An argument can surely be made for it being a song about Yang and Ruby as that's the first reunion in Ultimatum that we see, but the lyrics don't really imply a sisterly bond. It could be Renora as the other couple that had a hint of a reunion that scene... but they didn't have a proper one. We got it and their confession in the following episode.

Which leaves the only other focused relationship dynamic in that moment: Ruby and Oscar

And why would it be an RG song? Well, they're the only 'pair' that got separated in v8 that didn't end the volume together. The teams were split down the middle with very clear foils:

Yang to Blake Ren to Nora Weiss to Jaune Ruby to Oscar (Also Ruby to Yang but this ain't about them)

But when Atlas fell, Ren and Nora were together in Vacuo. The bees made it to Ever After. Jaune and Weiss did too... but Oscar and Ruby? They're the only ones that are still apart. And this song is one about absence of another and awaiting a reunion. So lets dive into the lyrics proper, shall we?

Night and day, I've waited

For starters, the sun and moon symbolism that's been thrown around for them since their introductions. Yes, the Bees also have a celestial union going on, but again please bare with me.

All alone in crowded rooms I'm incomplete, my life is paused When you're not here

This is the longest portion of the analysis as the line "all alone in crowded rooms" is so heavy.

It gets tricky when we can't see Oscar's state rn (i will come back to him in a minute tho), but we do know Ruby's. We know that she is preoccupied with a lot of things. She's weighed down by Penny's death, by the internalized expectations she has to be just like Summer, this perfect hero from a fairytale, and is alone in her burdens as a leader. Romance is likely the last thing on her mind. But she is feeling loneliness, isolation, and left behind. We can see that in all past volume examples quite literally (like the above photo, the dance, Brunswick farms, her team not wanting to explore Atlas after their first mission, etc.), but it's really being driven home in recent episodes between the Blacksmith (Carpenter?) and Ruby's reaction to the Bees.

"You're doing this all alone?"

Also just... the way they're all positioned in this scene is so intentional. Yang and Blake are together and they are warm by the fire. Weiss is drinking some piping tea and smiling at them. And Ruby is sitting alone at a table with an empty chair, draped in a teal/green cloth, furthest from the fire. Remember the song "Cold" and how it's used as a metaphor for loss, loneliness, and grief throughout the show? Yeahhhh.

Recognizing Ruby is alone in crowded rooms begs the question of who in the cast makes her not feel that way. Well, anyone that's spent any amount of time looking at RG knows their entire dynamic is built on relating to and respecting each other for their similar positions. That out of everyone, Oscar has been the one to see through Ruby's mask and got her to actually open up about her grief. On the opposite side, Ruby helps Oscar in much the same ways he does her. By constantly watching his back, standing up for him, and reassuring him that despite the merge he is his own person... but he is also someone familiar with this feeling.

By virtue of being an Oz, he's already alienated. He joined the party late and doesn't know everyone as well as the others. He's also the youngest of the bunch and that's a lot of pressure that Ruby is familiar with.

So out of every pairing in the cast, these two are the ones that feel the most alone in crowded rooms and, by extension, less alone when they are together.

Though I walk this world I am nowhere to be found Every thought's of you And for now, you're not around

The singer here is saying that they don't feel present or grounded because of the absence of someone else. Their thoughts are with the person they are missing... but the wording about 'walking this world' is so specific when RG is the only pair split between worlds.

If this is from Oscar's POV, then he isn't found on Remnant. He's found in Ever After because that's where Ruby, and therefore his thoughts, are. The reverse POV also works, but in Ruby being very prioritized with the state they left Remnant in and her team consistently trying to pull her back to what's happening right in front of them.

But that's alright I'll be just fine I'm not concerned With sands of time

Sands of time is another very specific wording choice. Hourglass being associated with time is a give-in... but knowing what we know now it could be a lot of things. The Ever After is messy with time; we're seeing that firsthand with Jaune. But with Ruby and Oscar being the only ones still separated, there is an anticipation and a 'waiting' happening.

Beyond sands of time, Oscar - who has clock gears as a constant motif for his character design - is surrounded by sand as far as the eye can see in the deserts of Vacuo.

If forever comes and goes, I won't pay it no mind

Oscar is Oscar, do not misconstrue me here. But who, out of everyone in the cast aside from Salem, is most familiar with the concept of 'forever'? The one currently merging with a man who's lived a thousand lifetimes.

Hour after hour, I spend Dreaming that your voice will wake My slumbering ear Numb and lost I wander with No place to go, just aimless 'til You reappear

This is much like the earlier verse talking about loss and being directionless without their light to guide them. This song has some parallels to a few others, but for now I want to talk about Sky is Falling, which we know is an Oscar song:

Our world, lost without a soul Losing all control, not getting closer Every day is just another dose of torture (Torture) Now we pay the cost, the race is lost This nightmare's our real life

This can easily be linked back to wanting to wake from a bad dream and feeling lost without a (smaller more honest) soul being present. Later in that same song:

Lost all my hopes and dreams

Being numb and lost without hope. Ruby being the embodiment of hope.

Watch my life flash by in scenes And it seems there's no soul on the video screen

I am aggressively reminded of Arkos and Jaune watching Pyrrha's training video on a loop. Would bet actual money Oscar is doing the same of Ruby's broadcast back in Vacuo... because he was the only big name in the cast that wasn't shown watching that video when it went live.

Cold soaked as I'm standin' in rain Feelin' nothin' but pain until I see you again

Once again tying into feeling lost without the other.

Back to Treasure:

'Til you come in view I keep watch with these sore eyes Looking through the tears As the days creep slowly by

Emphasis on seeing each other again which can also be linked to the above stanza from Sky is Falling as well as Until the End with rain and tears being almost synonymous. (Until the End and Treasure have SO many parallels that I can't talk about all of them here without it becoming a whole separate post. Maybe later tho!)

Nothing's gonna shake my faith I know you're coming back real soon to my embrace

The emphasis on embrace when RG was the only pair that didn't get a hug.

Though time goes by so slow I'm never letting go I won't give up, if I spend my life I know

The time motif again followed by "I won't give up" paralleled to Ruby's line in her broadcast where she says "Even if Atlas falls, you can't give up."

"Atlas" also meaning Ruby. "You" being Oscar and the rest of the people still fighting. Oscar, who took up her mantle of leadership in a way through his costume change and actions in v6 after Ruby stepped into Oz's role.

And then lastly, the song's namesake:

'Cause the treasure of my life Is being by your side

Treasure, by definition, has two different meanings.

noun 1. a quantity of precious metals, gems, or other valuable objects. verb 1. keep carefully (a valuable or valued item).

The song at face value is talking about treasure as the verb. The act of treasuring or cherishing something precious. But much like some other double meanings in this song, a very strong argument can be made for the noun definition as well.

Ruby, who's first name literally means 'precious red gemstone'. Ruby, who's eyes are Silver and how that has tied into Rosegarden since their very first meeting. Oscar, who's eyes glow Gold with his own magic. Who's first name can also be easily associated with the colour by way of the award show statues of the same name.

If those are symbolisms associated with Oscar and Ruby, while Yang and Blake get a song called bmblb for being the same colour as bees and having a confession in a garden... then I think there is no other duo that the song Treasure can be about.

#rwby #ruby rose #oscar pine #rosegarden #rosepine #meta #analysis #rwby analysis #treasure #song analysis #parallels #i'm sorry if this is messy #it's late and brain is moving very fast #rwby v9 #rwby spoilers #rwby v9 spoilers

[stargazerlily7210]

Hello, and welcome to my TED Talk.

In this essay, I will demonstrate why I think Mrs. Flood is Susan Foreman (aka The Doctor's Granddaughter, aka The Unearthly Child, aka The Boss, aka The One Who Waits).

I know, I know. Not exactly the hottest take out there.

But buckle in, cause this goes deep.

Getting this out of the way first: I know this season has been billed as a bit of a fresh start (what with calling it Season 1, and all) and thus people are wary about assuming Mrs. Flood is a returning character. But let's be real. Just look at the 60th anniversary specials. Ya know, the massive 3 parter whose plot has set everything in motion for this next season.

They feature The 14th Doctor (aka The 10th Doctor revamped) with Donna Noble and her family (from the 2000's), Kate Lethbridge-Stewart (from the 2010's) who is both the current leader of UNIT (from Classic Who) and the daughter of The Brigadier: original leader of UNIT (throughout all of Classic Who), The Meep (from a Classic Who comic strip of all things) The Toymaker (Classic Who) and Mel (Classic Who).

And that's just the characters. Never mind the near constant references to both New and Classic Who.

They made it appealing and approachable to new viewers, sure. But they've already proven they're not actually interested in distancing themselves from the show's past.

So why do I think she's Susan, specifically?

Well, for starters, although the age of an actress doesn't really mean much in a 60 yr old time-travel show that's already had (MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THOSE WHO HAVENT SEEN THE 11TH DOCTOR'S EPISODES!!) a parent-child dynamic where the daughter is not just played by an actress who's noticably older than the parents, but also canonically met the doctor first, despite her parents being the primary companions, (and each of them are played by both adult and child actors). But Anita Dobson is 74. Which would have made her 14/15 when the show started in 1963. Around the same age Susan Foreman is supposed to be/appear.

But again, that doesn't really mean anything in this show. So why else would I think she's Susan? And why do I think this means she's also The Boss mentioned by the Meep, AND The One Who Waits mentioned by The Toymaker?

Well, because I think it all falls into place with some of the big themes they've been pushing in the episodes so far, if she's Susan.

I mean, from what I know of Susan, she was a refugee from Galifrey, with her grandfather, The Doctor. As far as we know, he's her only family. He'd basically been raising her until she caught feelings for a human guy, so The Doctor decided she'd be better off staying on Earth. Effectively abandoning his very traumatized teenage granddaughter in 1960's London. It wasn't malicious, he was trying to do what's best for her. But he still left her there against her will and never came back for her.

So she's an orphaned teenage refugee, raised in a high-tech alien culture, stuck in the 1960's, with her first major crush as her primary confidant and caregiver. Let's be real. She'd have been deemed a mentally unstable minor, and at best institutionalized, at worst dissected/studied, in a heartbeat (or rather, two heartbeats (a surprise tool that'll help us later)).

So here we have a woman who's likely been drugged and tortured ("psychotherapy" in the 1960s, am I right?), gaslit, and desperately isolated for a significant portion of her life. With a massive list of reasons to both deeply resent and have seriously dissociated from The Doctor and the TARDIS.

And now we finally get to the new episodes:

The Meep says that creatures with two hearts are so rare that it can't wait to tell The Boss about The Doctor. So we have The Meep, who just happened to pick Earth to "crash land" on, answering to a nameless Boss who's on the lookout for 2 hearted creatures. Thus, we're looking for someone with both a connection to Earth and intimate knowledge of Timelord biology.

The Toymaker says even he didn't dare face The One Who Waits. Which says a lot, considering the importance and prevalence of people described as Waiting with a capitol W.

(MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE 10TH and 11TH DOCTOR'S EPISODES!!) Off the top of my head, I can think of Jack Harkness aka The Face of Boe who waited billions of years to see The Doctor again. We have Amy Pond aka The Girl Who Waited, and Rory Williams aka The Boy Who Waited. We even have Sara Jane Smith, who's first real conversation with the The Doctor after finding him again had her admitting she'd spent her whole adult life waiting for him to come back. So to be The One Who Waited, above and beyond all others? You'd have to have somehow waited more than the rest. And when you're already talking about Waiting upwards of 5 Billion years, that's tough to do. Unless you're looking at it from The Doctor's perspective. And the Granddaughter he'd abandoned 15 lifetimes ago would absolutely fit that bill.

So we have an individual who is intelligent/knowledgeable enough to be called The Boss by an alien kapable of mind control and space flight, who's searching for creatures with 2 hearts. Who's earned the title of The One Who Waits, above so many other candidates.

And we just so happen to meet a character who's being played by an actress the same age Susan should be.

Speaking of, we can finally look at Mrs. Flood herself. When I first watched the episode, it struck me just how angry she was at seeing the TARDIS. When it's far more normal to see people ignoring the thing. So her reaction is weird, both in general, and for a character the actress herself described as a friendly neighbor lady.

It's only after she's utterly shocked by the TARDIS disappearing in front of her that she starts acting different. As if seeing that unlocked her memories. From there on out, she's a different person who knows exactly what's going on. She even addresses the audience at the end and knows to call it a TARDIS. Which Susan of all people would know, as Susan claimed to have come up with the acronym herself, during her time with the 1st Doctor (whether that's technically canon or not, idk).

It's also worthy to note, that if you look at the houses during the scene where she's complaining about the TARDIS, you'll see that on the outside, her house, while the most extravagantly decorated outside, is noticably stark and empty inside, unlike each of the other houses where you can clearly see decorations through the windows. Not to mention, her door is the only one that looks like the TARDIS. The other doors are either the wrong shade, or style, or both. And her's is the only one that doesn't have stairs going to the second level. I don't know how much of this is just working within the confines of the location, and how much is intentional, or what it would mean, but we see enough wide shots of the house fronts, it seems potentially relevant.

So if Mrs. Flood is, in fact, Susan Foreman, she's exactly the right age, she'd have had more than enough reason to be triggered by the sight of the TARDIS, more than enough intelligence/knowledge to reach Boss status in her search for a rare two-hearted creature and being The Doctor's Granddaughter, could absolutely intimidate The Toymaker, and have more than enough claim to the title of The One Who Waited.

And if she turned out to be a future Big Bad, she would have the trauma, reasoning, skillset, and intelligence to truly challenge The Doctor and force him to deal with the repercussions of his habit of never stopping or looking back at his actions or mistakes.

We've never seen if Susan can regenerate as far as I'm aware, but we know she's a Timelord and significantly younger than The Doctor. So if she can, the actress has already suggested that Mrs. Flood will go through quite a transformation throughout future episodes. We might be seeing the birth of a new antagonist for a new generation of the show.

Honorable Mention: I feel like The Boss is right up there with The Doctor and The Master. And RTD would absolutely make The Boss a bada** boss babe.

Phew. That was a whole essay. If you've made it this far, congrats!! I'd love to hear your thoughts!

#doctor who #regeneration #tenth doctor #donna noble #amy pond #rory williams #river song #sarah jane smith #15th doctor #14th doctor #11th doctor #captain jack harkness #face of boe #susan foreman #dr who spoilers #doctor who 60th anniversary #doctor who spoilers #doctor who theory #the tardis #the doctor #the toymaker #lily thinks

[so-long-soldier-writes]

Lmao ignore me if u want but I have two questions

How would Kai be as a werewolf alpha???

And if he was a demigod like percy Jackson would would he be the son of???????

Here is a picture of our pookie as an apology

First of all, that gif is making me absolutely FERAL. Second, I want to bite him. [you have a lovely clavicle; i'm a neck person; that's just silly, you can't stop being a neck person] Third, you never bother me, I promise! I love answering these & talking to you through them (& comments)! I've just been so out of sorts lately with my home life and work life - both chaotic - but desperately have been needing to get back in the swing of things in terms of writing / posting / answering!

Now, to tackle these questions that have both brought hearts to my eyes... (and I was so excited, I made dividers to split them up)

tw: some nsfw (can I even write that on tumblr anymore?) on the wolf portion, but no warnings on the demigod part

#1 - werewolf alpha kai

FUCK

do notttt get me started on wolf kai; how the fuuuck have I not wolf-i-fied him yet 😭😭

okay. I had it down so bad for jacob in the great edward vs jacob debacle of the 2000s. I was OBSESSED with wolves / werewolves in general, too

funnily enough, I don't give a damn for the wolves in tvd. Tyler's fine. Hayley is fine in TO (not tvd tho lmao). The rest in TVD / TO are whatever; the ones in Legacies are HORRID

BUT wolf!kai would be sooo hot; alpha wolf kai especially, oh heaven help me

this man is already dominant & controlling, and with his SO, protective, but add that wolf gene and he's tenfold

he'd be an absolute menace... to damon, to tyler, to mystic falls in general, & maybe even to klaus... & to my ovaries...

starting off, let's just picture him as a wolf

i was actually thinking about this the other day... what if the actual reason that he was "an abomination" was if he had the wolf gene on top of the siphon gene somehow. like, joshua wasn't his real father, or his mother wasn't his real mother, idk, but joshua HATES him for it (kinda like klaus)

kai's childhood is the same - violent, abusive, isolated - and he ends up in the '94 PW the same way, but while kai shows damon and bonnie his ability to siphon, he never reveals the wolf part

when he gets back to the real world, he's going to have to transition again, bc he's no longer on a repeating loop of the same day, so he carefully plans for this

he makes sporadic disappearances throughout the month, so that no one ever catches on to him being absent on full moons

the only reason he's caught, is because [reader] stumbles upon him entering / coming off his transition, but lucky she's been crushing on him or is a wolf herself

if i were to write this out, this is as much plot as i've developed. i would add a bit in there, too, where she mentions klaus, maybe she has a connection to him, and they both can commiserate on their similar childhoods together

but that's all i've got so far; idk if i'm doing anything with it

regardless, wolfy kai!

SO

he'd be so much more temperamental & combative

if damon were to know, he'd be like, oh ffs not another one

but this gene also makes him stronger than if he were just a witch

imagine Tyler's fondness for fight picking + Kai's own flirty / cocky attitude + werewolf lore behavior + alpha behavior, and you've got a dangerous mix wrapped up in one very attractive man, i mean, just look at the gif

whether you're a wolf or not, he puts himself in charge of protecting you, even if you're quite capable of defending yourself

he has to have an arm or a leg wrapped around you, too, and is always on alert, even in his sleep

is also a very cuddly sleeper, is a big spoon, and will throw a fit if he can't sleep with you for some reason

when he's alone with you, he's his usual goofy self, and maybe takes a second to get himself under control in serious situations

but also as an alpha, still knows when to snap into his dominant demeanor when the situation calls for it

now... i've thought up several different scenarios where we could have wolfy kai... and since i'm me, i also have an nsfw section

...so here's that one first

breeding kink would be off the charts

especially as an alpha, where it's so innate, and if he has a pack, a desire to keep it going & keep it strong

and like tyler mentioned, "being horny all the time"

huge biting kink, but only if you're a wolf, too

play bites as a way to show affection, but bites during sex, too

bites in places visible to others; always marking you as his

again, dominant, and would be one to pin you down or keep a hand on your throat as a means of control

would be so into praising you, during & after, telling you how well you did & how proud he is (& how good of a mom you're gonna be jfdsnls)

on the flip side, i don't think he'd be much into exhibitionism / voyeurism because he'd want you all for himself & would not want anyone to see you in one of your most vulnerable states

however, if you were in a pack and someone was hitting on you & not taking any hints that you're taken, he'd probably engage it in to some degree just to teach that someone a lesson that you're his

wolf!reader x wolf!kai

when you're nesting, he's already getting excited. tries to stick his nose in your business, though, and several times, you've bitten his nose to get him out of your space, but he just gets more excited

when ~the time~ finally comes, he tries to control himself, but sometimes gets lost in the pleasure

you have to safeword somewhat often, which he always respects

and his aftercare is always perfect, regardless if you used the word or not

outside of the sexual realm, you are always together

it takes some time to sink into his stubborn head, but you protect him as much as he protects you, and he's very grateful for it

the two of you are your own little pack

and tyler is very jealous of it

eyes roll all across the room when you enter, because the MF gang is pre-preparing for the sass and stubbornness they're about to face; you compliment him well, much to their dismay

but on the bright side, he kills much less, and only threatens or kills if someone threatens himself or you

on a side note, i can see tyler trying to recreate your bond with liv, and her not wanting any part of that wolfishness

she will date him but she won't engage with that, especially considering tyler's wolf-associated anger issues, and kai being her brother who she wants nothing to do with

...but, she has to hand it to you for getting him under control & to her absolute disbelief that it could happen, loving him the way you do (jo, too, is practically astonished, however grateful - he is her twin, after all)

non-wolf!reader x wolf!kai

now, if you're a vamp, he has to be very careful not to bite

tricky during sex sometimes; difficult when you insist on helping him transition

it's much of a caroline x tyler thing; you refuse to leave him but he's terrified of hurting you

whether you're human, or a witch, or a vampire, he could hurt you, and the thought terrifies him

is insistent on a buddyship with damon or stefan, so that they can call klaus if an emergency ever occurs

both are reluctant, but are friends with you, and if something ever does happen, they'd hate for you to suffer, so they do

klaus gets involved & he and kai bond more than anyone would've anticipated

maybe kai reminds klaus a bit of himself - his childhood, his difficult relationships with his siblings, his fancy for one person in particular; maybe kai also reminds him a bit of kol, his own brother with a head full of sarcasm & jokes and a penchant for violence

although, if this is alpha!kai, klaus would notice that immediately and would have an, oh shit, this kid's powerful, moment that would knock him off his feet

kai might not even realize the strength he has, or he does, but doesn't let on to anyone that he knows how powerful he is

regardless of which, klaus knows he has to stay on his good side, and maybe he tells stefan to do the same for his own good

as long as no one becomes a threat, kai keeps his cool, but that alpha side comes out when he's protecting you or himself

and that, for whoever poor soul, is fucking terrifying

#2 - demigod parent

alright... first thought was Hades bc he's so dark & eerie

then I was like nah, way too much of a basic answer, just to tag anyone with a closed off personality and dark clothes as a Hades' kid (don't get me wrong, I love Nico, but in comparison, he & Kai are nothing alike)

Kai just doesn't have the personality of Hades' kids; he is way more than the dark witch he's made out to be by writers

he's extremely talkative, rather lively, & outgoing

ofc he's got that unpredictability & hair-raising ability to slink around like a cat without being noticed (i.e. stalking damon and bonnie for 4 months without their knowledge), but he doesn't scream child of Hades when we learn how talkative and touchy he actually is

so then, bc I haven't read PJO in 6 years, I did some research

Ares became a possibility... he's got some anger issues & is good with a knife

however, he doesn't seem like a child of war

most of his childhood, we can assume, he spent trying to avoid his father's anger & disapproval

sibling murder was the last resort for a depressed, distanced kid who was taught life didn't matter as long as the coven survived

and as vengeful and argumentative as he is, I wouldn't put him in a box with Clarisse, who picked fights 24/7

Hecate came to mind, but as a siphon, I think maybe not

if it was Hecate, he'd probably be outcasted by his half-siblings (and then I'd have to fight them, and it'd be a whole thing), so I took Hecate out of the choices

then, after more research, the obvious answer became Hermes

Kai is such a little shit

he's funny, sarcastic, and just seems like the guy to love a good prank

he's very smart, and can be manipulative if he wants / needs to be

his half siblings would more or less equal him in intelligence and personality, so he wouldn't feel the need to slice & dice them

(and also, doesn't Hermes have the most kids? bc his parents had a fuck ton of kids, so Kai would totally be used to having SO MANY siblings)

(plus unclaimed kids stayed in Hermes' cabin & Kai knows what it's like to be a family reject; they can commiserate)

not to mention, Luke was a child of Hermes, and I vaguely remember he went a little dark & crazy, too

granted, that could happen to anyone, but I can see Kai & Luke being like, hey, half-sibling, ~you're just as sane as I am~

now...

I also considered Aphrodite, and stay with me, bc he's so fucking gorgeous (I mean, again, look at that gif), and it would be cool to have a child of love with his emotions so turned off

imagine his father was so abusive (which he was), that Kai was so shut off when he got to camp

everyone shared rumors about his parentage; whispers of Hades circulated the most

but then it's Aphrodite who claims him, and everyone, Kai included, is shocked

for awhile, his siblings kinda outcast him & he's feeling it; he has definitely considered running away

but someone gives him a chance, maybe someone who feels equally unlike their godly parent approaches him & gains his trust, or maybe it's someone who doesn't like to see others treated the way his half-siblings are treating him

either way, he slowly opens up to them & begins to trust them; they return these feelings to him

with time, he gets fiercely protective & caring towards that person; he shows love in his own ways

eventually, his siblings start to see it & open up to him

once Kai realizes they're being genuine, he shows them similar attention, care, & protection

he might not be the typical child of Aphrodite, but his dulled emotions start to come through once he's given a chance & a safe space

... But as much as I love this headcanon, I say he's 100% child of Hermes. He just fits the bill completely, and I freaking love it.

#asks #i'm still trying to answer your body swap question but skipped it to answer this first because !!!! #obsessed #and now i have a trillion new fic ideas to write #also i could go on forever about the wolf portion #and the demigod portion too especially the aphrodite thing #my hands were struggling to keep up with my brain spitting out words 😅 #kai parker #and what's that gif from #i bite him #*chomp* #(it's a love chomp)

[icantdanz]

Xingyun is literally Hongice in a different font and you can't tell me otherwise.

#Look at them #They're so similar it hurts #Smart kid who's into martial arts #He seems nice and polite but he's mischievous as hell #Rich too oml #Socially awkward kid who's related to ice #Was isolated throughout a big portion of his life #Shy??? But with a heart #Ik Iceland is sarcastic and xingqiu isnt a safety hazard lik hk but the similarities are uncanny #Even their character designs are similar akgnaigjw #xingyun #hongice #genshin impact #hetalia #xingqiu #chongyun #aph hong kong #aph iceland

[attemptsonherlifepdf]

bojack horseman and bo burnham: the art of acting like you’re acting and the comedy of misery

at the core of bojack horseman, raphael bob-waksberg’s 2014 comedy, is a story about the relationship between performance and depression. the protagonist of this renowned tragicomedy is best described as a sympathetic villain; he is shown to clearly be in the wrong across various events of the show, and is explicitly referred to as a bad person, but the audience is granted deep access to his personal struggles, resulting in some portions of the audience finding themselves on bojack’s side. the duality of his character is complex, but can be broken down into some core components, that all stem from the impacts of stardom and performance. the standup comedy of bo burnham arguably echoes this sentiment in real time. having been a performer from a young age, burnham creates work that serves as a satirical commentary on the life of entertainers. he uses original songs to explore the reliance upon and resentment for his performative nature both onstage and within his personal life. both the comedian and the netflix show are widely understood to be thinly veiling their critiques of the entertainment industry behind a particular brand of witty and absurd humour.

both bojack and burnham’s content openly criticises their audiences and explicitly states the manufactured nature of the narrative the audience is fed. in the fifth season of bojack horseman, the show satirises itself by having bojack star in a police procedural drama, parts of which are actively written by other characters to reflect events of bojack’s life. the titular character he plays, philbert, is the epitome of selfish male angst, and an example of what bob-waksberg’s show could have been; another story about a sad and angry man whose guilt supposedly makes up for the people he has hurt. according to bojack, philbert teaches us ‘we’re all terrible, so we’re all okay’, an interpretation that is harshly disputed by diane: ‘that’s not the point of philbert, for guys to watch it and feel okay. i dont want you, or anyone else, justifying their shitty behaviour because of the show.’ this moment is a direct reaction to some of the online reception bojack horseman has received. various circles of the show’s fanbase have found themselves relating to the protagonist to the point of defending his untoward behaviour, a response not intentioned by the show’s creators. this is not the only example of bob-waksberg’s ability to make his work self-evaluative. in season six’s exposure of bojack and sarah lynn’s problematic relationship, characters question their sexual encounter from the first season. the writers use this as a way of examining their own choices, and the harmful tropes they played into when using this exploitative sexual encounter as a gag. this self-evaluative quality is what sets bojack apart as a show that assesses the performance it participates in, much like the comedy of bo burnham.

bo burnham is known for directly addressing his audience, particularly in terms of discouraging idolisation and parasocial relationships. some examples of this manifest as responses to hecklers rather than a planned bit in the show, for instance:

heckler: i love you!

bo: no you don’t

heckler: i love the IDEA of you!

bo: stop participating!

he actively addresses the issues posed by being an entertainer, and encourages the audience to understand and recognise that his onstage persona is just that: an exaggerated persona. not once does burnham claim to be fully authentic onstage, and even moments of authenticity we see in his latest special, inside, are staged. we make the assumption that having the physical setting of a stage stripped away grants us a more personal look at the entertainer’s life, but he makes it clear that even in his own home we still see the aspects he has carefully constructed rather than the full truth. arguably though, parts of the show really are authentic; in his monologue during make happy, bo deconstructs his own show in a way that is similar to bojack horseman’s later seasons, admitting that all he knows is performing and thus making a show about the more mundane and relatable aspects of life would feel ‘incredibly disingenuous.’ in his attempts to separate himself from this onstage persona he actually manages to blur the lines between what is acting and what is now part of his nature as a result of his job. this notion is echoed in bojack horseman as bojack’s attention seeking nature is attributed to his years acting in front of a camera every day.

bo suggests that the era of social media has created a space in which children’s identities mimic that of an entertainer like himself, describing the phenomenon as ‘performer and audience melded together.’ in this observation he criticises the phenomenon. bo attempts to force the audience to recognise the ways in which their lives are becoming shaped by the presence of an audience and to some extent uses his own life as a warning tale against this. he points out the way in which the ‘tortured artist trope’ means that your cries for help or roundabout attempts of addressing mature themes such as substance abuse, mental illness and trauma become part of that on stage persona and therefore become part of the joke. both bo and bojack address these topics in more discrete manners earlier in their careers, but this eventually becomes expected, and thus they are forced to explicitly detail their struggles with these topics in order to be taken seriously. even then, portions of the audience are inclined to see it as part of the persona or as something that fuels the creators creativity and thus does not need to be addressed as a legitimate issue. the emphasis on creating a character or persona promotes the commodification of mental illness: any struggle must be made into a song or a joke or a bit, must be turned into part of the act in order to have value. this actually serves to delegitimise these emotions and create a disconnect between the feeling and the person, as it becomes near impossible to exist without feeling as though you are acting. even when an artist’s cries for help become blatant, they continue to go ignored because now they serve the purpose of creating content that criticises the industry they stem from. online audiences can be seen as treating bo burnham and his insightful work as existing to demonstrate the negative effects entertaining can have, and because this insight is useful or thought-provoking to audiences, he is almost demanded to keep entertaining and creating. in response to this demand, his work becomes more meta and his messages become clearer, and the more obvious his messages, the more people he reaches. this increases audience demands and traps entertainers in a cycle fraught with internal conflict.

during bojack’s second season, bojack’s date asks him, ‘come on, do that bojack thing where you make a big deal and everyone laughs, but at the same time we relate, because you're saying the things polite society won't.’ this moment exemplifies how aspects of his genuine personality have now become a part of his persona and this is demanded of him in genuine and serious situations, undermining the validity of his emotional reactions. he immediately makes a rude comment to the waitress at the restaurant they’re in and satisfies his date by performing that character he has set himself out to be. some circles of the fan base have argued that bojack is written as a depiction of somebody with borderline personality disorder, offering a psychoanalytical lens through which to view this notion of performance. a defining symptom of borderline personality disorder is a fluctuating sense of self; having grown up on camera, being demanded to perform to others as young as six years old, bojack’s sense of self will have been primarily dictated by the need to act.  whether this acting is for the sake of comedy, or as a representation of masking his mental illness, when they need to act is taken away bojack entirely loses his sense of self and relapses into his addictions: ‘i felt like a xerox of a xerox of a person.’ burnham’s depictions of depression run along a similar vein; in his new special he poses the idea that his comedy no longer serves the same personal purpose it once did for him. he questions ‘shit should I be joking at a time like this?’ and satirises the idea that arts have enough value to change or impact the current global issues that we are facing. burnham’s ‘possible ending song’ to his latest special, he asks ‘does anybody want to joke when no-one’s laughing in the background? so this is how it is.’ implicit in this question is the idea that when the audience is taken away and there is nobody to perform his pain to, he is left with his pain. instead of being able to turn his musings and thoughts into a product to sell to the public, he is forced to just think about them in isolation and actually face them, an abrupt and distressing experience.

the value of performance and art is questioned by both bojack and burnham, particularly during the later years of their respective content. burnham’s infamous song, art is dead, appears to be a direct response to the question ‘what is the worth of art?’ he posits that performing is the result of a need for attention (‘my drug’s attention, i am an addict, but i get paid to indulge in my habit’) and repeatedly jokes throughout his career that the entertainment industry receives more respect that it deserves (‘i’m the same as you, im still doing a job or a service, i’m just massively overpaid’). his revelations regarding the inherent desire for attention that runs through all entertainers is frequently satirised in bojack horseman. bojack is comically, hyperbolically attention hungry and self-obsessed, and the show has a running gag in which he uses phrases along the lines of ‘hello, why is nobody paying attention to me, the famous movie star, instead of these other boring people.’ his constant attempts to direct the focus of others towards himself result in bojack feeling like ‘everybody loves you, but nobody likes you.’ his peers buy into his act and adore the comical, exaggerated, laughable aspects of his character, but find very little room to respond to him on a genuinely personal level because of this. interestingly, bojack appears to enjoy catering to his audience and the instant gratification it produces, whereas bo burnham becomes increasingly candid about his mixed feeling towards his audience. ‘i wanna please you, but i wanna stay true to myself, i wanna give you the night out that you deserve, but i wanna say what i think and not care what you think about it.’ he admits to catering to what audiences want from him, but resents both the audience and himself in the process as it reveals to himself which parts of his character are solely for the sake of people watching him.

within bojack horseman, this concept is applicable not only to the protagonist, but to the various forms of performer demonstrated in the plot. towards the show’s end, sarah lynn asks ‘what does being authentic have to do with anything?’ to which herb kazzaz responds, ‘when i finally stopped hiding behind a facade i could be at peace.’ this highlights the fact that because entertainers are demanded to continue the facade, they do not receive the opportunity to find ‘peace.’ this sentiment is scattered throughout the show, through a musical motif, the song ‘don’t stop dancing.’ the song stems from a life lesson bojack imparted to sarah lynn at a young age, and becomes more frequently used as the show progresses and bojack’s situation worsens.

sarah lynn is also used to explore the value of entertainers; in the show’s penultimate episode, she directly compares her work as a pop icon to the charity work of herb, arguing that if she suffered in order to produce her work. it has to mean something. she lists the struggles she faced when on tour: ‘i gave my whole life...my manager leaked my nudes to get more tour dates added, my mom pointed out every carb i ate, it was hell. but it gave millions of fans a show they will never forget and that has to mean something.’ implicit in this notion is the idea that entertainment is the epitome of self-sacrifice. there is a surplus of mentally ill individuals within the industry, largely due to the nature of the industry itself, but some may argue that the cultural grip the industry has, and the vast amounts of respect and money it generates annually, gives the suffering of these prolific individuals meaning.

the juxtaposing responses entertainers feel towards their audiences manifest as two forms of desperation: the desperation to be an individual who is held accountable, and the desperation to be loved and validated. we see both bojack and bo depict how they oscillate between  ‘this is all a lie’ and ‘my affection for my audience is genuine’, or between ‘do not become infatuated with me im a character’ and ‘please fucking love my character i do not know how to be loved on a personal level.’ bojack explicitly asks diane to write a slam piece on him and ‘hold him accountable’, similar to bo’s song ‘problematic’ in which the hook includes the phrase ‘isn’t anybody gonna hold me accountable?’ for his insensitive jokes as a late teenager. their self-awareness is what enables their self-evaluative qualities, but self-awareness is its own issue. bojack grapples with a narcissistic view of his own recognition of his behaviour before settling on a more nuanced, albeit depressing take. originally he makes the assumption that in recognising the negative aspects of himself, he is superior to those who behave similarly: ‘but i know im a piece of shit. that makes me better than all the pieces of shit that don’t know theyre pieces of shit.’ eventually, during his time at rehab he is forced to reconcile with the fact that self awareness does not, to put it bluntly, make you the superior asshole, it just makes you the more miserable one. the show does, however, make a point to recognise how the entertainment industry protects ‘pieces of shit’, prioritising their productive value over how much they deserve to be held accountable, demonstrated using characters like hank hippopoalus. the show itself obviously stems from the entertainment industry, as it is a form of media produced by netflix, one of the most popular streaming platforms available. bojack horseman and bo burnham represent the small corner of the industry that is reflective enough to showcase the damage it inflicts. this is powerful in terms of education and awareness, and urges audiences to question their own motives and versions of performance, but the reflection alone is not powerful enough to help the artists in question. burnham’s candid conversations surrounding his mental health continue to reveal a plethora of issues somewhat caused or sustained by the nature of his career. within bojack horseman, bojack is only able to stop hurting other characters when those characters construct a situation that forces him to face consequence, his introspection alone is not enough. while bojack ends on a message of hope, suggesting to the audience that reverting back to the status quo is not the only acceptable way for events to end, it leaves stinging lessons and social commentary with the audience regarding the unnatural and damaging narrative that performers live through. on a similar but markedly different note, bo burnham’s work and personal progression is playing out in real time, and not in a way that is as raw and genuine as it appears. each bit is planned, even the most vulnerable moments that appear unplanned and painful. his latest special is not entirely devoid of hope, but does translate to audiences as a somewhat exaggerated look around the era of social media and the development of performance, using himself as an example.

the absurdist humour that often acts as a vehicle for poignant statements or emotionally provocative questions is very specific to each media creator. bob-waksberg’s use of puns, tongue twisters and entirely ridiculous circumstances served to simultaneously characterise his points as an expected part of the show’s style of humour, similar to bojack’s emotional instability, but also to make them appear gut-punching in comparison to the humour. burnham’s work is similar in that poignant but blunt statements are often sandwiched between absurd and exaggerated jokes, making them stand out via contrast but not giving the audience too much time to dwell upon them as they are said. performance art is second nature to entertainers, and is presented a an issue that is infiltrating the general population via social media rather than solely affecting the ‘elites’. bojack horseman and bo burnham present the duality of artists simultaneously attempting to level the playing field and increase their chances of survival in the industry, and encourage audiences to know that everyone is bluffing and you’ll never have the right cards anyway.

i.k.b

#mine #bo burnham #bojack horseman #bojack analysis #bo burnham analysis #comedy #essay #analytical essay #diane nguyen #sarah lynn #inside bo burnham #make happy #bo burnham what #long post #bojack rewatch #bojack ending #bo burnham netflix #bo burnham special #bo burnham my beloved #bjhm #satire #raphael bob-waksberg #netflix #netflix special #original essay #copyright ikb #reblogs appreciated!

[cosmicjoke]

I want to talk a little bit about Levi’s relationship with Erwin, and why Levi, for most of the story of Attack on Titan, was dedicated to and so trusting of Erwin’s judgment.

I see a lot of people say it’s because Erwin gave Levi a “purpose” in life.  That it’s because before he met Erwin, Levi had no direction, no goal, etc...  That might be part of it.  But I think, more than giving Levi a purpose, I think what Erwin gave Levi was hope.  

Levi’s big, character defining moment, the one that influences and impacts all of Levi’s choices throughout the story, and indeed, influences his very life philosophy, comes with the deaths of Furlan and Isabel.  I don’t think the importance of these two characters in Levi’s life gets nearly enough attention.  They’re often written off because they’re “side characters”, not actually invented by Isayama himself, and so their import to Levi is often overlooked.  But if we’re being honest, and not viewing Levi’s relationships through the lens of shipping goggles, I think, out of everyone, it’s Furlan and Isabel who were probably closer to Levi than any other character in the series.  I don’t say that to offend anyone, so please don’t take it that way.  But both Furlan and Isabel come from the same world as Levi.  They, presumably, both grew up in the Underground, the same as Levi, both experienced poverty, deprivation, and the same struggle to survive from day to day that Levi did.  That, alone, would give them a connection to Levi that no other character in SnK has.  No one else that we know of in the Survey Corps came from the Underground, no one else in the Survey Corps experienced that particular kind of disenfranchisement or alienation from proper society, or truly experienced what it meant to be treated as second class citizens, the way those who came from the Underground did.  The people of the Underground are there largely because, for whatever reasons, they’ve been deemed pariah’s of society, unwanted, unneeded, driven there, in the case of Levi’s mother, by persecution, others likely for having fallen in bad with the law, somehow, or because their own, impoverished circumstances left them with no place else to go.  Likely a large portion of the Underground population was born there, born into poverty and deprivation and labeled, through no fault or action of their own, as the “dregs” of society.  I think it’s even stated at some point in the manga that the people of the Underground don’t have legal citizenship up on the surface.  Meaning they’re literally treated as illegal aliens, and if they’re caught up above on the surface, they’ll be deported back down.  In this sort of environment, in which the population has been cast off from regular society and deemed unfit and undesired, cut off from the typical benefits and privileges one garners from being a part of a working and ordered society, like regular food, regular work, safe and reliable shelters, an education, health care, opportunity for advancement, all the sorts of rights one enjoys from having citizenship of any society, circumstances of desperation come into play, a constant, frantic struggle to acquire the basic necessities of living day to day, of simply surviving from one day to the next.  This of course breeds an environment of crime.  Engaging in illegal activities just to manage day to day life.  This is all stuff that Levi was born into, this kind of deprived life where he could rely on no one and nothing to help him get by.  No sorts of state implemented programs, no sort of educational system to help him learn a trade, no sort of regular job opportunities or income, no access to health care, no legal or human rights, no legal path to gaining citizenry up top, no  safety net of any kind to help him, essentially.  This is what it truly means to struggle to survive.  When there isn’t any time to think of banal or frivolous pleasures, when one can’t afford to indulge in fantasies or dreams, or hope.  All Levi would have known, for the first 25 years of his life, was the desperate struggle to not die, to make it to the next day.  Truly the definition of existing, not living.

Furlan and Isabel, we can surmise, shared this same experience with him, underwent and experienced similar struggles and desperation and deprivation.  That shared experience, then, must have bonded them in a way impossible for Levi to find with anyone else, no matter how close he grew to his comrades in the SC.  None of them could ever have understood the experience of growing up totally deprived, as Levi did, the way Furlan and Isabel could have.  And I think, because of that, to Levi, Furlan and Isabel were the closest thing to family he probably ever had.  They found each other in the most desperate of circumstances, and bonded through the shared struggle of their existence.  They found comfort and love and friendship in one another in an otherwise brutally harsh, unforgiving, cruel, uncaring, isolated and forgotten world.  A world literally shunned by the light of the sun, and by the acceptance of society above.

Well, how this all relates back to Erwin and Levi’s relationship with him, comes down to what Erwin says to Levi after Furlan’s and Isabel’s deaths.  Levi is drowning and blinded, in the moments following their deaths, by pure grief and rage.  He can’t understand what’s just happened.  He’s lost the only two friends he’s ever had in the whole world.  The two people who he found in the darkest, most difficult and most desperate time of his life, the two people who shared in and understood that hardship better than anyone else ever could.  He’s just watched the both of them being eaten alive by Titans, torn apart and killed in one of the most horrific and terrifying ways a person can die, and found himself unable to save them, helpless to stop this horrible thing from happening to the only two people in his life he could, up to that point, regard as family.  He was alone.  Utterly alone, then.  Likely transported back to the days before he met them, after Kenny had abandoned him on the streets, left completely on his own to survive in, again, one of the harshest, most unforgiving environments imaginable.  Levi’s life, before he met Furlan and Isabel, must have been one of suffocating loneliness and isolation.  A life filled with no real human connection, no real warmth, or love or friendship.  He found those things when he found them.  And then he had to sit there and watch as those things were torn violently away from him once more.  The pain must have been incomprehensible, the fear and disbelief and grief so deep, he couldn’t think past it.  He sees Erwin in that moment, then, and it all comes crashing down on him, all of that rage, pain and despair, and the only means for him to keep it from destroying him then and there, to keep it from consuming him, is to direct it at the man he sees a responsible for their deaths.  So he attacks Erwin, fully intent on killing him.  And then, Erwin tells him not to let Furlan and Isabel have died in vain.  He tells Levi not to regret his choice to come with them to the surface, not to regret having chosen to come out on expedition with the SC, not to regret choosing to leave them behind with the rest of their squad and go out on his own after Erwin, not to let them die without MEANING.  This entire exchange forms what comes to be the crux of Levi’s life philosophy later on.  Erwin tells Levi that he can’t let Furlan’s and Isabel’s deaths be meaningless, he can’t let them have died for no reason.  He tells Levi that humanity needs his strength, and that if he lends that strength to their cause, then Furlan’s and Isabel’s deaths will gain purpose, that, in spite of it’s horrific tragedy, their sacrifices will matter, because they will have brought Levi to the cause of humanity’s salvation.  

Essentially, Erwin plants in Levi the idea that people don’t have to die meaningless deaths.  Levi, who grew up in a world where doubtless he saw, day after day, people dying for no reason at all, succumbing to things like disease and starvation and depression and violence, Levi, who grew up doubtless SURROUNDED by meaningless death, is told by this man, whom Levi had meant to kill in his own, misguided attempt to make the lives of his family better, that death doesn’t have to be meaningless at all.  That people can die in ways that will make the world a better place for everyone else, that people can die for a cause that makes not just their deaths, but their very existence, meaningful, valuable, important.  Erwin plants this idea in Levi’s head, that no matter how ugly, or awful, or cruel, or painful, or seemingly pointless life can be, no matter how unfair or unjust the deaths of those we care for may seem, we can, even if only a little, redeem that cruelty and unfairness and that pain, by making their suffering and their sacrifices count towards something better.  Even if that something better is a distant hope, or an unreachable dream, to simply fight for it in the name of those who have endured hardship and lost their lives, is enough to save them from the indignity, shame and hopeless despair of having died forgotten and purposeless.  To Levi, who grew up surrounded by meaningless struggle and death, the thought that what we endure and what we suffer doesn’t have to be for nothing must have been a revelation.

This is why I think Levi is so devoted to Erwin, why he follows Erwin with such loyalty and trust.  It isn’t because of some silly bond due to his bloodline, or because he’s “in love” with Erwin.  It’s because Erwin made Levi believe that life, and death, could both hold something better than the desperate suffering of his childhood.  It’s why Levi thinks of Erwin as someone with a great, far reaching vision that Levi himself could never grasp.  Because he considered this thing that Levi himself never had, that a person’s life and death, both, could be given meaning through the continued actions those still living take in their name.  That WE can give their lives and deaths meaning.  Erwin’s ability to see that made Levi believe in him, and his ability to lead humanity to salvation.  Erwin’s words to Levi that day essentially rescued him from the depressing and brutal darkness of his own life experiences.  They made everything Levi had suffered up to then gain meaning.  No longer did Levi feel he’d lived such a hard and painful life for no reason other than his own misery.  No longer did Furlan’s and Isabel’s deaths have to have meant nothing and gained nothing.  Levi could take all of that, could take all of the pain and grief and sadness, and make it into something which would give it reason.  He could use it to form something which could have value for others.  Erwin’s words help pull Levi up from an existence of pure suffering and loss, and instead tell Levi that those things he’s gone through, those losses he’s experienced, those trials he’s endured, weren’t for nothing.

We see Levi apply this philosophy to almost everything he does throughout SnK thereafter, in which he tries with uncompromising determination to make sure every loss suffered, every sacrifice made, every action taken, is done so with meaning, with purpose, with reason.  Whether that be the lives of his comrades being lost in the fight for humanity’s freedom, or Historia needing to step up and take her rightful place as Queen, or his squad having to take the lives of other people to survive, or the numerous lives given to protect Eren, all of it is only tolerable to Levi so long as he believes there is MEANING behind it all, that there is a greater good to be achieved, that it will all lead to a better life for humanity all around.  For someone like Levi, who grew up in such utter depravation and abject poverty, in a world of ruthless and uncaring violence, where his own life was deemed by society to have no worth or value at all, the import of being able to believe in something better, in a better world, where all that suffering didn’t have to happen for nothing, can’t be overstated.  It was like his one, shining light to be found in an otherwise pitch black world, and when he saw it, Levi grasped it with both hands and never let it go.

It speaks too to Levi’s own, inherent idealism, I believe, that he was ABLE to believe the words coming from Erwin’s mouth, when everything in his life up to that point should have crushed any sort of idealistic fancy from him.  Levi wanted to believe it.  His own, innate kindness is what allowed him to.  I don’t think Levi ever fully believed life to be hopeless, or pointless, even before he met Erwin.  It’s why he was able to form bonds with people like Furlan and Isabel, why he did everything he could to help them, to make their lives better, to take care of them, and to help other orphans and delinquents in the Underground.  That he was able to open his heart up to the possibility of friendship and family, and have in him the desire to help those in need, even as it was already a struggle just to keep himself alive, is proof of Levi’s always pure and giving heart.  I think Levi has always desired to make the lives of others better, to do all he could to help others, to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves, and to give value to the lives of those deemed worthless by society.  I think Levi’s always held that kind of compassion and caring and kindness in him, that he’s always just been naturally inclined towards helping others, and wanting to improve their circumstances.  I think where Levi probably struggled was in believing he could achieve those things on his own, or at all.  In believing the plausibility of those dreams, or the value in even harboring such secret desires for something so idealistic.  In believing even in the possibility.  Life, after all, had shown him nothing but the opposite.  What Erwin did for Levi was make him believe in the possibility of his own power to make a difference, and validate his hope as something more than just fancy, turning it to something tangible, something he could work towards and achieve with his own, two hands.  Surrounded by so much pain and suffering without purpose, Erwin gave Levi the realization that, even if he had power in nothing else, he had the power to give the sacrifices and suffering of others meaning.  He had the power to make sure the lives of others were worth something more.   Erwin didn’t make Levi a better person.  Levi was ALWAYS a good person.  What Erwin did was give Levi the ability to believe himself capable of making the difference he always wanted to make.  He gave Levi the ability to genuinely, truly hope.  

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #Levi Ackerman #Erwin Smith #meta #thoughts

[popurikat]

Newtmas essay when?

Finally getting to this, thanks for waiting, I needed to go over a few bookmarks. (Warning, this post contains spoilers from the MAZE RUNNER book and FEVER CODE book, so if you haven’t read either or yet and want the jist of my analysis; just know that in general the fandom interpreting Newt as gay before it was revealed on a twitter post was not just a random headcanon and that Thomas in general is portrayed to have very strong unconditional love for Newt throughout the series; and it shows. To the point that even the director for the movie has stated that Newt and Thomas have a strong bond and portrays that in the movies. I will also preface that I am NOT adding personal opinion anywhere here, these are just backings from quotes and how they are thus meant to be taken/read as. My words are taken as a reader who is currently reading Scorch Trials has yet to fully read Death Cure or Crank Palace.) Anways, without further ado at 3AM today, I’ll try my best to explain how even though Dashner tries his best to make Thomas have other, female love interests; he creates a not so subtle gay subtext for Tommy boy here when in the context of interacting with Newt throughout the lore. Apologies beforehand for any grammar mistakes along the way.

To commence, I am going to start with FEVER CODE, as its supposed to act as the story’s preface to the actual events that play out later. Newt and Thomas upon meeting each other describe their presence as “familiar” and or as a “long lost friend” and they genuinely hit it off from the start to the point that Newt is okay with having Thomas see him cry over the fact that he and his sister are separated since he is doomed to be WCKD’s control analysis as he’s the only one lacking immunity from the flare itself. Once Newt is done being emotionally vulnerable we get our first instance of his personal nickname for Thomas: “That’s the way things are Tommy,’ he said his voice not quite steady. ‘The world outside’s gone to hell. Why should we expect any different here? [...] He said it as if they’d been friends for years” (ch. 14).   An interesting note here is that Thomas doesn’t bother to correct him or stifle the moment by feeling that all this information was too much, he genuinely wanted to hear Newt out and is fine with seeing this side of him; if not slightly taken aback by how natural it is that they can converse about such aspects of their lives. In fact, Newt makes such an impact on Thomas that Thomas ends up that same night dreaming of him: “Throughout his shortened night, he dreamed of Newt and Sonya. Of Newt and Lizzy“(Ch. 14). The thing with Thomas though is that the idea of comfort and connection is very foreign to him as he’s been basically isolated all his life with only the adults like Ava to talk to and the one exception being Teresa as his only kid companion. So Thomas didn’t even think he could make others like him for being himself unless they were vital to the overall production of WCKD. Seeing this portion right before the end of chapter 14: “Alby, Minho, Newt, Teresa. Thomas had friends.” shows that Thomas really had to deep dive to see how he deals with personal connections and why he was excited about the notion of friendship. He could’ve been happy with just Teresa, but only fully cemented her bond to him as “friend” when his circle grew and these kids he got to hang with taught him he can be himself, a concept he didn’t realize was possible when all his life was dictated on what he was supposed to learn or do. It becomes especially clear just how controlled his life is with the aspect of sentiment when later on Teresa’s mental communication evokes physcial pain and fear in Thomas. I’ll get back to that later as its more of a small tid bit of Thomas’ view on his forced love interest, Teresa. And yes, I say forced because multiple sentences with Thomas have him even wish he could cease all communication with her. Moving on, let’s talk about mimicking for a second. As humans, we mimic as a behavioral response to become closer to the person we care about. It’s the reason why yawning or laughter is contagious and or why we copy the posture of the person we converse with face to face. Thomas is seen to do this the most with Newt’s quirks. I’ll give the example in chapter 15: “Newt has been promising them that he was saving something special, and he did that annoying zipped-lipped sign every time [...] the little light in his eyes showed he enjoyed every second of their torture” versus Thomas: “Thomas did Newt’s zipped-lipped gesture, and that got him a sharp poke in the ribs”. So, we know enough that Thomas’ mannerisms are developing as a sign that he wants to be closer to Newt and to continue this sense of playfulness they both enjoy from the other. This is the start of their budding bond and a clear indication that they hold each other at greater fondness than the rest through this unconscious copying. Through this copying, they also pick up on emotional cues the other lets up on. Newt is especially good at noticing small things like when Thomas is anxious or overthinking: “He was just shocked that with all their exploring, the others hadn’t already discovered it on their own. And there were supposed to be TWO mazes. How had Newt and his friends not stumbled upon either one of them? ‘Tommy?’ Thomas realized Newt was staring straight at him, eyebrows raised. ‘Sorry,’ he said embarrassed, ‘wandered off for a second there what did you say?’ Newt shook his head in admonishment. ‘Try to keep up, Tommy Are you ready to see the grat outdoors?” (ch. 15). Also in chapter 23: “Tommy?’ It was Newt, breaking him out of his thoughts. ‘I can see your wheels spinnin’ up there.’ He tapped the side of his head”. This furthers Newts perceptiveness on his friend and Thomas’ ability to pick out when he is being looked after. And they bounce off each other really well in that aspect. To the point that Newt can crack a joke he knows will land right on Thomas’ sense of humor: “Newt waggled his fingers in front of Thomas’ face [...] A laugh exploded out of Thomas’ mouth that sent a spray everywhere. ‘Sorry’ he said, wiping his lips on his sleeve” (ch.15). It’s enjoyable to know that at least at a surface level, they have fun together and can cheer the other up if needed or know when to ground the other to reality. It is also through these instances that as a reader I pick up that Thomas’ nervous ticks perhaps allude to an anxiety disorder he has; of which Newt is aware of and never puts Thomas down on for exhibiting. He in fact understands it and deals with it accordingly as he himself has a similar circumstance. SO, what does all this paying attention lead to? Thomas’ devotion to protect Newt. Yeah, thats right I said devotion. Thomas’ actions are influenced by his developed instinct to protect Newt at all costs. Here is the biggest example that comes to mind: “What in the world happened to Newt? -- Less then two hours later, Thomas had spliced together a series of camera clips [...] Thomas turned off the feed. He couldn’t take it anymore...Newt, Newt, Newt, Thomas thought, feeling as if the very air around him were turning black.”(ch.52). Essentially, Thomas seeing Newt plummet to his near death by falling from the maze wall as a result of Newt’s ongoing depressive state, this is the moment that makes Thomas realize WICKD isn’t as good as they seem and that he is going into the maze to save Newt. Its admirable how much self sacrifice Thomas does for someone he cares so much about, to the point that their name is like a mantra. Thats a sensible area of passion and fighting spirit for someone who is “just a friend”.    Oh and, the feeling of fondness is mutual mind you if I haven’t been clear. After experiencing the horrors of cranks for the first time, realizing Newt was not immune, and watching Newt until they entered the pits it has been months since they last interacted; this is their first reunion: “What’s up Tommy?’ Newt exclaimed, his face filled with genuine happiness at the pleasant surprise that’s been sprung on him. Thomas couldn’t remember exactly how long it’d been since he’d seen Newt. ‘You look bloody fantastic for three in the morning” (ch. 23). I need to preface this that Newt DOES NOT mean that sarcastically and that out of all the people in the room (Minho, Chuck and Teresa are there in this scene), Thomas only reacts this way specifically toward seeing Newt is okay and back.   The characters are also not afraid of being physically close. “Well, look who the bloody copper dragged in,’ Newt said, pulling Thomas into a big hug” (ch.31), “They shook hands, and then the two of them set off...” (ch. 31), and my favorite: “Thomas jumped at the sound, then stumbled. Newt tripped over him, and then they were both laughing, legs and arms tangled in a pile on the ground”(ch.32). I don’t think this far in the novel, Thomas has been AS (emphasis on as) comfortable with touch  with anyone else other than Newt. And thats a big step forward on the aspect of trust in a relationship, being able to be comfortable with the presence of another person enough to be as intimate with them as shown here.  And all this, is just fever code itself. Mind you this is not the MEAT of the novels as it came out later. But even without it, lets look at Thomas in Maze now, I’ll try to keep this segment a lot more brief. Here’s Thomas looking respectively at boys his age: “A tall kid with blond hair and a square jaw...a thick, heavy muscled Asian kid folded his arms as he studied Thomas, his tight shirtsleeves rolled up to show off his biceps [...] Newt was taller than Alby too, but looked to be a year or so younger, His hair was blond and cut long, cascading over his T-shirt. Veins stuck out of his muscled arms”(ch. 2). Thomas’ initial reaction to being surrounded by boys is to deeply analyze their rugged good looks and heavily emphasize their best physical traits. When reading this the first time, my mind immediately thought this boy at the very least is supposed to be portrayed as bi, especially when later down the line Teresa gets a similar descriptor: “...despite her paleness, she was really pretty...silky hair, flawless skin, perfect lips, long legs.” So right off the bat, we know that be it boy or girl, Thomas emphasizes how attractive someone looks in his eyes when he truly does have a sense of attraction to them. Case closed. Within the same chapter we get Thomas also immediately clinging onto Newt for a sense of grounding, it is now ingrained in him at this point that the boy is his lifeline, a person to rely on. “Thomas looked over at Newt, hoping for help.” And help he does, Newt in this chapter helps ease his worries, explain a general idea of what the glade is and even pats him on the shoulder a bit to ease tension. And Thomas doesn’t bat an eye in the same way he’s weary of literally everyone else. In fact, he’s eager to stay put with him as shown with; “If Newt went up there, then I wanna talk to him.” And if none of that seals the deal, we got early bird Newt being so touch starved he flattens himself next to Thomas to wake him up at the crack of Dawn in chapter 6: “Someone shook Thomas awake. His eyes snapped open to see a too-close face staring down at him, everything around them still shadowed by the darkness of early morning...’Shh, Greenie. Don’t wanna be waking up Chuckie, now, do we?’ It was Newt --the guy who seemed second in command; the air reeked of his morning breath. Though Thomas was surprised, any alarm melted away immediately”. This whole scene follows firstly by Thomas once again impressed by how strong Newt is and then Newt giving him a rundown of what everyone else was too afraid to show Thomas, the grievers. And you know, this scene could’ve ended well and everything as totally platonic, but then we have “Newt turned to look at him dead in the eye. The first traces of dawn had crept up on them, and Thomas could see EVERY DETAIL OF NEWT’S FACE, HIS SKIN TIGHT, HIS BROW CREASED.” Now, look me in the eye and tell me there is a hetero explanation on looking at your best bro like they are the sun reincarnated themselves. But let’s not hog all the homosexual undertones with Thomas here. Wanna know what Newt’s initial reaction to having a girl in the glade was? “It’s a girl,’ he said [...] Newt shushed them again. ‘That’s not bloody half of it,’ he said, then pointed down into the box. ‘I think she’s dead” (ch.8). It’s actually a stark contrast to the other gladers eagerly wanting to know her age, how pretty she looked, and calling dibs to date her; Newt isn’t interested in any of that, he’s more perplexed on her status and not even bothering to remark on her looks, he was the only one not to and even remarks a few other instances that girls are more Thomas’ domain. For instance, he makes a joke in fever code when Thomas remarks that the girls in the institution were going to tackle him down, Newt proceeds to point out sarcastically something along the lines of “wait, isn’t that YOUR dream though?” So Newt is pretty out spoken of his disinterest in girls, and his full admiration and attention on Thomas. Oh, and yes, Newt immediately switches over to “Tommy” the moment Thomas mentions he hates being called greenie, and once again it just becomes a thing between only the two of them. Newt is also the one to be straight forward about the whole Runners business. He warns Thomas about the dangers and doesn’t necessarily turn him down on his desire to be one, he in fact encouraged him to just wait until the right moment. “No one said you couldn’t, but give it a rest for now”(ch. 15). So once again, Newt is the voice of confidence and reason for Thomas to prosper. In turn, this time around Thomas is the one to catch when something is bothering Newt. For instance, “Newt chewed his fingernails, something he hadn’t seen the older boy do before...he was genuinely concerned -- Newt was one of the few people in the Glade he actually liked ”(ch.16). Interesting how we went from fever code “friend” to “like”. And also, when Newt explains his concern about the runners not coming back yet, Thomas pieces together how scared Newt is of the Maze without being told and goes to stand next to him as a physical presence to ground Newt as they wait near the entrance. In fact, this piece is trivial to understand why Thomas does what he does next. When everyone else had given up on the Runners still outside with 2 minutes left til closing, and Newt was escorted away from the entrance, Thomas waited. And when Thomas saw them, he yells to Newt, realizes he’s too far to do anything, and makes a decision himself. He KNEW how much Newt cared about his fellow Gladers, they were like family or “kin” as its said in the book, so what does he do? “Don’t do it Tommy! Don’t you bloody do it!’ ... Thomas knew he had no choice. He moved. Forward. He squeezed past the connecting rods at the last second and stepped into the maze”(ch.16). Yes, Thomas does this because of his empathy for the Gladers, but the chain reaction of Newt’s concern is what sets his decision in stone. And yet again, Thomas enters the maze for Newt.  And that’s pretty much the constant for the rest of Maze Runner the book, Newt just sticking up for Thomas and Thomas in turn just being happy that: “He was at least relieved that Newt was there” (ch.17). And thats basically their entire dynamic. Newt just going: “If you really did help design the maze Tommy, it’s not your fault. You‘re a kid -- you can’t help what they forced you to do” to ease the survivor’s trauma Thomas has, as well as saying “I actually believe you. You just don’t have an ounce of lying in those eyes of yours. And I can’t bloody believe I’m about to say this...but I’m going back in there to convince those shanks we should go through the griever hole, just like you said”(ch.51); and I think thats the most romantic thing to hear from him. Just right out being all for supporting Thomas no matter what happens as long as he stays alive and continues to fight, he doesn’t care about what happened before. And Thomas eats that up because it fuels him even more to seek out a means to escape for the people (Newt) that deserve a life outside of running from monsters forever. So essentially, I’ll state again, it’s always been Newt the catalyst for Thomas to run head first into the Maze and seek freedom. And with all this I can clear that these two are shown to if not be romantically involved, at least have unconditional love for the other that transcends the author’s original intention.  And with that in mind, here’s the thing with Teresa as a love interest. I can list here quotes of every time she mind speaks to Thomas and how that affects him, but then this would be too long. And this is a newtmas post gosh darn it. Teresa is gleeful to humiliate, control, hurt, and force Thomas to believe they’re in love. In multiple instances we get her barging into his mind unwarranted making him understand that she has full access to his inner most thoughts. Theres nothing romantic about that, and I think its why Thomas ends up being so perceptive to the smallest of gestures that allow him to think on his own and feel like his own person. Something I’ve seen Brenda do later in scorch, and something I’ve seen Newt do since the very beginning is that they allow Thomas to come to his own conclusions in order to create his own opinions on the matters at hand. Thomas’ love language revolves around words of affirmation. He likes it when people confirm his thoughts are valid and that remind him that WICKD can’t hurt him anymore now that he has the power to be his own person. This is where Newt comes in very handy. He allows Thomas to grow in ways his female love interests have yet to show, sorry Brenda but I’ve heard you were trying to unite all immunes together to the safe haven by the end and in a sense still only using Thomas to get by; I still think she was the better call than teresa of course and I have no remorse for Teresa getting smushed by a boulder. But essentially my point here is that, how do you fail to make your initial love interests clash so badly where one has no real care about the others well being so long as everything goes according to WCKD by using a form of gaslighting and manipulation? AND THOMAS HAS STATED HIS DISCOMFORT ON THIS MULTIPLE TIMES, but the narrative always erases these instances from his mind in place of pity for Teresa’s well being (as you can tell, Teresa through this becomes my least favorite character, I can rant about her some othe time though with proper backing). The narrative in turn treats it all like a joke. I understand there are scenes where Thomas is worried about her and looks out to make sure shes ok, but even then he doesn’t know how to react with mental images of her kissing his cheek or when she screams the next minute that she doesn’t know who he is or how hes speaking into her mind. And thats because they can’t properly communicate their emotions to the other, not even in fever code could Thomas give a forward answer if he loved Teresa or not, she just assumed. Come to think of it, Thomas really doesn’t show much affection to Teresa of his own accord. So then, how DOES Thomas show his affection? Thomas provides acts of service as his love language, if he cares about you enough he will risk his life for you. Why? Because Thomas values putting the people he loves foremost knowing full well they are what help him have purpose and succeed in continuing on. In a way, Newt and Thomas’ dynamic works in this instance because they balance the other out and because they have seen each other at their worst and at their best. In a way, that's why knowing the ending of the books makes it harder to accept that Thomas would just easily take the shot...when all his life clung to Newt’s survival. But that’s a story for another time where I compare the movies (of which let me make that clear, yes I prefer) over the books. For now just know that the book may have done this by accident, maybe not, but at the end of the day theres solid proof that Thomas and Newt care about each other in a way that is separately portrayed from their connection to the other glade members, and have this consistency of soft moments running through the entirety of the series. In conclusion; newtmas. Newtmas. NEWTMAS, etc.

#Newtmas #long post #Skquill #ask #The ending gets a bit ranty with Teresa I must admit #but for the most part its just me recalling the best newtmas moments from the novels I've currently read #Please add on more newtmas proof to the thread

[lazyliars]

A Theory on Canon Lives

Canon lives have always been a subject for debate, both within the story and in the meta around it. The idea has received mixed responses from fans; criticism for how it confuses the storytelling (namely, what constitutes a “canon” death, versus a normal one) and punishes non-PVPers, who need to walk on eggshells when dealing with geared people, and praise for adding a heightened sense of stakes and weight to character’s decisions.

However, I’ve been sitting on a theory about canon lives since they were confirmed by Wilbur, and recent events have me re-evaluating it’s relevancy in the current story-line.

So, lets start by looking at the two* canonically dead characters we have so far.

Schlatt: Jschlatt was the first person to lose all three lives and die.  His first death came from Techno at the festival, in the crossfire of Tubbo’s execution. His second, from Quackity after Schlatt basically disowned him. His final death was via heart attack or stroke, when he was alone and surrounded by the people he’d hurt and failed.

Wilbur: Our second canon death was Wilbur. He lost his first life in the same place the rest of the L’manberg OG’s did, the final control room, with Eret. His second was by Punz during his escape from Schlatt at the election. His third was by Philza, after he’d blown up L’manberg, begging his dad to kill him for what he’d done.

*(Note; Mexican Dream and Jack Manifold have also lost all three canon lives, and Jack came back again with all three lives restored.

However, the validity of considering them canon with regards to this theory is uncertain, for two separate reasons:

Mexican Dream because his existence is one of the most enigmatic on the server and his life and deaths follow suit,

And Jack because he hasn’t to my knowledge been involved with the writing of the greater SMP story-line, so his take on canon lives might only apply to himself. )

The pattern remains consistent throughout – the final death occurs at a moment of hopelessness, when the character in question cannot imagine a way out. Neither of them technically die to suicide, but they both lose the will to continue living - Wilbur actually begging for death.

So, I propose that third canon deaths cannot occur unless a person wants to stop living. This would mean that for a bulk of the server, canon deaths functionally do not exist.

But this would make the entire cast basically immortal! Why would they treat their lives as precious if they only risk dying when they actually want to?

And that brings me into the second half of this theory – that NO ONE on the server knows that canon deaths are optional, except for Dream.

Now how would Dream learn about the canon lives? How would he know that they weren't real, even after death was demonstrated in front of him just as clearly as the rest of the SMP?

Jschlatt was the first Canon Death. Before he died, he made a deal with Dream; In return for fighting alongside him, Schlatt gave Dream a book containing information that Dream believed was dangerous even to him. The contents of that book are still unknown to this day, and we still don't have a good grasp on what someone like Schlatt could've possibly had to tempt someone like Dream.

Considering Schlatt was the first to die, It's possible that his death itself was part of the deal; a deal made by an alcoholic man with nothing to live for, willing to die to spite the people who would survive him, and leave them under the thumb of an even bigger tyrant than him.

Wilbur too, made a deal with Dream just before he died. Both the people who made deals with Dream died soon after, one entirely of his accord, permanently. Something that had never happened before on the server.

People have criticized the Canon Life System for unfairly favoring the PVPers, perhaps none more than Dream himself – and it's true, after canon lives were introduced, Dream suddenly became an even bigger threat. But if canon lives are a lie? Then a huge portion of the power Dream holds over the server is also a lie.

Dream's goals always orient around gaining control over others, to what ends we still don't know. But his go-to method of dealing with rebellious groups and individuals has always been to contain and threaten important objects. He threatens to kill only when his other methods fail. We see this most obviously with Tommy's Exile.

During the exile, Dream constantly focuses on punishing Tommy using things – his armor, his builds, Logstedshire – and only ever threatens death when Tommy asks to go back to the SMP. He also stops Tommy from Looking Menacingly Into Lava, which could actually kill him; but if canon lives aren't set in stone, and Tommy wasn't far gone enough for the death to actually take? The ruse would be up, and Dream's power would be drastically diminished.

There are many times that killing someone outright would be easier for Dream; Exiling Tommy in the first place could have been replaced with taking his last life. Or threatening to kill him, or Tubbo or any of the Cabinet. But instead, Dream opts to build a wall around L'manberg. It's almost like Dream has a vested interest in no one losing their third life.

Cat and Mellohi alone are basically Dream’s main method of controlling Tommy and Tubbo, who are both on their last life and have little means to defend themselves. He could threaten to kill them in order to assert control, but what if they called his bluff? Would he actually kill them?

It also makes sense why Tommy is so frustrating to Dream; he’s the worst combination of suicidally reckless and unendingly determined, that if he died there’s no way he wouldn’t come back, and there is also every chance he’ll get himself killed. He’s the most likely person to see through the lie.

And in my opinion, that's the lens through which Dream's actions make the most sense; if he's doing everything he can to prevent anyone from learning that he isn't the only immortal, it puts all of his actions into perspective.

...

So, if this earth-shattering, red-string, challenge-the-fundamental-rules-of-the-story type theory turned out to be true, what would that mean for the future of the server?

Well, it comes back to the Status Quo. Control. Chaos. Amusement. For the server to be one big happy family. Each of these pillars is benefited by people living in fear of death. It makes them easy to control, makes them run like mice in the face of the powerful, and can end with them growing closer due to the shared trauma.

But what if someone learned the truth? What if someone was killed in a way that couldn't be anything but canon, and came back anyway?

Then there would be need of a place to put those people. Somewhere secure, isolated. Somewhere they couldn't ever spread the word and disrupt the game. Somewhere that could house people who can't die.

Somewhere with enough room to hold an entire server of people who can't die.

#Dream Smp #Dreamwastaken #Dream #Tommyinnit #Pandora's Vault #Lazytext #Canon Lives #suicide mention #i've tried to write this thrice before and failed #i keep wanting to add things or change bits but its done its done and im not gonna touch it anymore #i wanted to get it done before the 16th tomorrow and I FUCKING DID LETS GOOOOO

[dalekofchaos]

Rian Johnson did Finn dirty and we gotta stop pretending he didn’t

Every now and then I am reminded how I hate how dirty Finn was done in the Sequel Trilogy. TFA started it, but TLJ continued it. JJ started it with the bait and switch, Rian continued by making sure Finn would remain a side character, which JJ would finalize in TROS.

Like I like TLJ for the visuals and Rey and Ben’s dynamic, but let’s be clear. It absolutely did nothing for Finn, Poe or Rose. Pretty much all the characters of color were given the shaft.(and one of them didn’t even get any speaking lines, NO I WILL NEVER NOT BE MAD ABOUT THIS)

Let’s take a look at what Rian Johnson did with Finn

Finn is repeatedly harmed for comedic effect. Most of his important scenes were either cut or rewritten. He is constantly belittled and mocked throughout the movie.

The beginning of Finn in the movie. Finn awakens from his coma. Does he struggle to come to terms with his near-death experience? Is he fearful that Rey is dead and he failed her? Is he scared, in pain? Nope. He falls on his face and squirts juice everywhere. The medics on-duty were on a coffee break and allowed their patient to wander the fucking halls unattended. And with that, his duel with Kylo is worthless and made a joke to laugh at.

Finn’s deleted scenes. The deleted opening where Finn wakes up. Finn and Poe’s scene on the Raddus where Finn declares he’s not joining The Resistance, but Poe simply says “you are where you belong” and hands him his coat after stitching it up for him. Then the scene where BB-8 shows Finn Rey’s last moment with Finn. Then the deleted scene with the one Stormtrooper where Finn shows restraint. and Finally the scene that shows a better death scene for Phasma......why were any of these scenes deleted? ESPECIALLY THE PHASMA ONE! I will never understand why this was deleted. Finn calls her out about her betrayal of lowering the shields and when this information is revealed, the Stormtroopers near her look suspicious and it looks as if they are going to turn on her. Phasma like the ultimate survivalist she is kills them with no hesitation. Finn cuts her hand off and blasts her into the abyss, giving Phasma a more deserving and better send off. Seriously, this is way better than their actual confrontation.  What I really like about this scene is its direct connection to The Force Awakens plot point and that it acknowledges Phasma’s survivalist attitude which was introduced into her novel.

Finn’s injuries do not get attention, but Kylo’s injuries do. In The Force Awakens, Finn fights Kylo Ren. He does well, but is ultimately defeated.  He is slashed in the shoulder and the spine by Kylo Ren and falls into the snow, unconscious. Now if this were in the first 6 movies, Finn would be dead or would be paralyzed. But because it’s a Disney movie, Finn heals up. Rey continues the fight and slashes Ren across the face, leaving him with a gash. The characters all escape, but Finn has to be carried to a medical station, unconscious until TLJ. Kylo Ren seems fine, ultimately jumping in a TIE fighter to try and kill his mom before getting patched up further.  Finn, again, has to wake up before doing anything. Here’s the difference between Finn and Kylo’s injuries.  Finn awakens in a medical bed wearing a bacta suit.  His first instinct is to call out for Rey. As he jolts up, he slams his head against the medical container.  He slams against it again. Regaining awareness, he opens up the medical container to find himself alone in a cargo room.  He falls out of the bed, spraying medical fluids all over the place.  He trudges down the hallway until Poe and BB-8 find him. His injuries are never mentioned, shown, or even referenced again.  Kylo, on the other hand, is asked by Snoke how his wound is, to which he responds “it’s nothing.”  He then takes that ridiculous thing off, complete with a close-up of a sad kylo Ren face, with his sutures  framed to draw attention to them. This happens again in the elevator.  Then we get a scene of him getting patched up soberly by a medical droid.  Then we get a shirtless scene as a final showcase of his other two scars.  Throughout the film, Kylo’s scars are present and framed as a constant reminder that he went through pain.  Finn’s injuries are used as a joke once and promptly forgotten, and let’s not pretend that these injuries are  one-to-one aside from how they’re framed.  Remember Finn received injuries trying to protect Rey, while Kylo received injuries trying to murder Finn and bring Rey before Snoke, a fate worse than death. Finn received a deep wound across his spine, which can often be fatal in the real world.  Kylo received a gash across his face.  Finn’s injuries were worse and nobly gained. Kylo’s injuries were comparatively tame and well deserved.  Yet the movie uses Finn’s pain as a joke, and Kylo’s pain as a humanizing factor. That Rey, as well as the director, cinematographer, and a considerable portion of the audience sees a scar and is willing to find sympathy with the person, no matter what they have done, is pretty reprehensible. Not only is Kylo Ren’s scar not enough to be considerably a change to his appearance, as Rian Johnson specifically modified the location of his scar because, “it looked goofy,” the scar is not the mark of an accident or from an assault, but rather from a failed assault on his part. Also, I could get into how messed up it is that scars that don’t fit Rian Johnson’s preferred model are considered goofy. Is a scar that isn’t kept to one side of the face not worth showing? Is a person with a scar you don’t personally like somehow less able to be taken seriously? By treating Kylo’s minor wounds as a big, life-changing deal, and treating Finn’s life-threatening wounds as a trivial matter of no more consequence than a joke, The Last Jedi reinforces century-old stereotypes about Black people. Specifically, it implies that Black people are somehow less affected by pain, have higher pain tolerances, or cannot be physically damaged the way White people can. This is a demonstrated, dangerous trend, where white people actually perceive Black people as experiencing less pain than White people under the same situations. Older textbooks, including some used as recently as late 2017, suggest Black people over-report the pain that they are experiencing. Doctors have declined to give painkillers to Black patients expressing the same level of discomfort that would grant a White patients the same painkillers, and some surgeons even believe that less anesthesia is needed for operations on Black people. This, of course, goes beyond the medical field, where Black people are not believed when they speak about suffering, and are expected to take more physical abuse than their White counterparts. However as the injuries are framed in a medical setting in this movie, I wanted to primarily address the medical bias as in the real world. This has been referred to as an empathy gap. When two people are hurt, with everything except the skin colour being the same, and White people feel worse for the hurt White person, there is a gap in empathy. Now, when the conditions are not the same, and the White person deserves to be hurt, and is hurt much less, and is still empathized with more, and the White man’s acts of attempted murder are framed as romance, while the Black man’s friendship is framed as harassment. Let’s also talk about Finn’s treatment. He’s placed alone in a room filled with cargo, without any monitoring.  It’s almost like the medical staff doesn’t even deem his injury serious enough to receive attention.  He’s not on the medical ship, which we know they have.  He’s not even in the Raddus’s Medical Bay, which, again, we know they have. Finn is isolated, left unattended,  injures himself, and stumbles out into the hallway without any assistance. All for a joke.  Finn’s injury should have been treated with respect and acknowledgement. A scene with the doctors examining his injuries, telling Finn he is medically clear to join The Resistance and Finn  sorrowed by his inability to help his friends, would have been light-years better than a scene where Kylo looks sad getting hurt while trying to kill people.

Finn’s rivalry with Kylo Ren drops instantly. Like Finn’s injuries, Finn’s rivalry with Kylo Ren is dropped for no reason whatsoever and never mentioned again. Finn and Kylo Ren are narrative foils, yet after TFA it’s dropped??? From the start they have been prominent foils to each other: dark from light and light from dark, both in the First Order but in drastically different positions. And Kylo too obviously has strong feelings about his defection. I also believe that Finn is the awakening in the force that Kylo and Snoke felt. Perhaps that is why Kylo focused on Finn and is so angry about him. Finn is also the first person to use the legacy lightsaber and is the first to actually fight Kylo. TLJ could've focused on Finn and Kylo being  narrative foils having a force connection and Kylo wondering why Finn would switch to the Resistance while Finn wonders why Kylo joined The First Order and  Rey standing in the middle of it all wondering with the new realization that her family has a mixed past of good and evil and her questioning where exactly does she belong? The way at the height of tfa when Kylo Ren rejected Han Solo’s offer for redemption and killed him he looked over and noticed Finn. Like they both locked eyes and in that moment was a surge of emotions between them— shock (and some fear) on Finn’s end, and anger on Kylo’s as he shouts at Finn that he’s a traitor— and those circumstances set Finn and Kylo up to be the dynamic for the sequel trilogy. They were foils, and the trilogy had the potential to truly expand on that and see their development in a final standoff/rematch at the very end. But it was wasted, because why have good movies.

Finn repeats the character arc from the last movie. Finn’s character arc from The Force Awakens was dropped completely in The Last Jedi. He does want Rey to be safe, but TLJ paints it as if  Finn just wants to run away, despite the fact that he learned to be courageous, face his fears and stay and fight at the end of TFA.  The First Order kidnapped Finn as a child, from his family(possibly killed his family) he was able to leave The First Order and resist the indoctrination. He no longer wanted to fight, he wanted to leave everything, he wanted Rey to come with him. When Rey was captured, Finn had something to fight for and when Kylo Ren pushed her. Finn finally stood up to his past and The First Order. He overcame his fear. So Finn should have been wanting to fight The First Order and become a big deal in The Resistance, we could have even seen Finn inspiring a Stormtrooper rebellion  against Phasma and The First Order. Finn just wanting to leave is just bad writing and backtracks his entire character arc from TFA.

Went from one of the major focuses of this trilogy to a side character. Finn is the very reason why The Resistance is alive. Finn breaks his life-long brainwashing, informs Rey and Han about the importance of BB-8 and helps out in getting BB-8 to the resistance and provides vital information that lead to the destruction of STB and gets nearly killed while helping to achieve this. If it were not for Finn saving Poe, BB-8 would’ve been scrapped for parts and Rey never would’ve left Jakku. The map would either be destroyed or be in the hands of The First Order. Starkiller Base would’ve destroyed D’Qar and Ach-To. He is the reason why Poe is still alive. He is the reason why BB-8 isn’t parts and Rey left Jakku. Because of leaving Jakku, this is the sole reason why Han and Chewie were able to find the Falcon. And he is the reason why The Resistance was able to find out about Starkiller Base’s weakness. he Helps out in sabotaging STB so that Poe, the very pilot he saved in the beginning can deliver the finishing blow to Starkiller Base and destroy it completely. In the Last Jedi, Finn awakes from a coma with no one attending him. No medics or guards. He's not even on a medship, he's in the fucking cargo hold. Finn recovering from his injuries is meant to be seen as a joke and his injuries are never mentioned again, while Kylo gets sympathy and shown his scars. There was also no marketing for Finn in the build up to TLJ. Despite Finn knowing that the First Order must be fought and knows there is something bigger than himself and Rey, we then see Finn attempting to flee in an escape pod to hide with Rey. Then he meets Rose. Rose in mourning meets Finn and expects him to be this big Resistance hero, only Finn never officially became one. Rose thought he was deserting. Finn wants to escape to save Rey and because The Supremacy is tracking them through hyperspace, but Rose sees this as desertion….Desertion? You taze people for desertion? How exactly am I supposed to root for either side again? This is probably the same only less lethal treatment one could expect from The First Order. And what if The Raddus took critical damage? Are you trying to tell me Rose would taze anyone going to the escape pods? I thought she was supposed to be a mechanic, not someone who prevents escape. Despite Finn explaining himself, she tazes him. She spends the majority of the movie berating, insulting and belittling him. It's even worse in the novel. Finn, who was the main focus of the last movie, and one of the main protagonists, is now made the sidekick to Rose in a pointless side plot. Finn and Rose then get caught because none of them could bother park their ship legally. Finn, the child slave doesn’t even get to say they should save the child slaves of Canto Bight, instead he blindly follows Rose into freeing the space horses. Then they openly trusts a man who talks like a snake and is shocked when DJ betrays them. Finn and Rose are made to fail their mission pointlessly, when they could've succeeded and get caught on the way to the escape pods. Finn gets to face his oppressor and fight Phasma and end her, but Phasma's better death scene was stupidly cut for reasons I don't understand. Finn then makes one last effort to save The Resistance, the people he loves. Rose stops him. She takes one last chance to insult him and kiss him without his consent as the bunker is destroyed while The First Order prepares to kill what Finn loves....and people see this as love???

The racist undertones of how RIan Johnson wrote Finn. Finn is treated like a racist slapstick caricature. The first real problem for Finn. He is reduced to a slapstick joke in his very first scene. Finn awakens from his coma, slams his face and it is revealed that he isn’t even on the medical ship or even in the medbay on the Raddus...he is in the cargo hold and is made to be a joke. This is the Co-protagonist of the trilogy, and he’s reintroduced as a slapstick joke. Then once again he wants to runaway. I am getting a real racist vibe that Rian Johnson sees Finn as the cowardly black man troupe. That’s just downright disgusting. Moving on. Finn is paired with Rose Tico, honestly I want to like her, but bad writing prevents that. Finn is put with someone who abuses him and we are supposed to root for this and see it as romance? Let me explain. Finn is then tazed by Rose, which is understandable, she thought he was running away and she was in mourning. He also was objectively posing absolutely no threat to her, wasn’t running away, and was even trying to explain himself. Additionally, just the threat of the taser seemed to have been enough to stop him from leaving. But Rose attacked him anyways. The difference between Rey and Rose attacking Finn is Rey subdued Finn just enough to stop and interrogate him, Rose went completely overboard by paralyzing him and knocking him unconscious. It was completely unnecessary and gratuitous. Rey and Finn have a real friendship and partnership from the last movie. Rose, on the other hand, spends the rest of the movie belittling Finn and talking down to him. The book also says that she thought about using violence against him more than once after the tasing (for annoying her) and even pushed him. This displays a really problematic pattern of violence and disrespect towards Finn so yeah,  multiple uses of violence and expressed desire to inflict violence on him as being abusive. I would argue that she is undeniably verbally abusive with Finn. In the movie and in the book (more so in the book) she often belittles him by calling him names and using other put downs. It seems she wants to make him feel bad about himself and bring him down, which is abusive. Of course, it doesn’t really matter what her intent is, even if she doesn’t “mean to be mean” it still counts as verbal abuse. So, in summary, her repeated threats and use of violence against Finn and her continual use of insults and put downs causes me to come to the conclusion that she is abusive to Finn. For the record I am not saying Rose Tico is abusive towards Finn, I am saying how Rian wrote Rose towards Finn is hostile for no reason whatsoever and could be interpreted as abusive and it’s downright tone deaf how the abuse and tazing is directed at the black man of the trilogy. Then Finn is made to fail. The only time he is allowed to be portrayed as a protagonist is him facing his abuser and taking her down. My only problem is they cut out Phasma’s better death scene. Finn reveals Phasma shut down the shields for Starkiller Base, and that gets the Stormtroopers to turn on Phasma. This is what I would hope starts a Stormtrooper Rebellion. Finn’s defection was withheld information by Hux and Phasma in fear of a full on rebellion. Humanizing Stormtroopers and having one become a hero is kind of genius, but the way they did it in Episode 7 made it seem like Finn was the ONLY good Stormtrooper, which has to be an impossibility. If one Stormtrooper can suddenly switch sides, what's to say that others couldn't? And since Episode IX will most likely see the fall of the First Order, I personally think that Finn should convince all (or most of) the Stormtroopers to turn against Kylo and Hux, leading to a cool final scene where the First Order is ultimately destroyed by their own henchmen, children who were abducted and indoctrinated take back their narrative. That would be cooler and more unique, I think, than another Resistance vs. First Order space shootout, or Rey and her possible Jedi apprentice army taking them down. The most insulting part of the movie is the last part. Finn’s suicide run. Finn was the best Stormtrooper and knows about The First Order’s weapons, he should know full well that speeder would be destroyed trying to destroy the mini death star. Finn’s attempted sacrifice was pointless, Finn was treated like garbage throughout the movie, he deserved better.

Finn was almost a big deal for the Resistance in the beginning. It is shown through cut material that Finn was in Cobalt Squadron uniform. If this was the case, there is something real simple they could’ve done. Have Finn be with Paige, have Paige and Finn have a short friendship(this actually gives Ngo Thanh Van speaking lines), Paige being in awe that Finn, someone who escaped The First Order helped The Resistance destroy Starkiller Base is working with him and she is more than happy to show him the ropes. They are co-pilots.  Finn was able to save Paige from dying in space and instead she dies in his arms while leaving a bloody handprint on his heart, working as a callback to when Slip died in Finn’s arms and left a bloody handprint on his helmet and her last words being “tell my sister I love her. Finn brings the bad news to Rose and gives Rose Paige’s pendant. Rose breaks down and hugs Finn. Both Finn and Rose have a good relationship at this point and there is no pointless hostility. You could even have Finn and Rose together finding the hacker and having their plan succeed and just having DJ betray them as they make it to the escape pod. And Finn and Phasma do have their fight, but keep in the deleted Phasma death scene. Instead of that? Nothing and instead of that we get a conflicting and hostile relationship between Finn and Rose and Paige has no speaking lines.

Rian Johnson rejected any and every possible character arc for Finn. Rian squandered a proactive, clearly-defined character from TFA, trying to make him fit moment after moment because he had no real big-picture idea what to do with this guy. And in light of Rian presenting himself as a progressive voice, he deserves to be challenged on why he failed a complex, heroic black character so abysmally while giving clear focus and dignity to the white male villain of the piece. (And this isn’t to say I want Kylo Ren’s character development to be worse, it’s saying I want Finn’s to be better.) But he shouldn’t just have treated Finn with care and dignity because it would’ve been more “progressive” - he should’ve done it because it would’ve made a better MOVIE.

Finn is brought to a white man, put on his knees, and is slapped in the face by said white man who once commanded him. Why? No Answers

Rian Johnson had Finn and Rose arrested and locked in a prison cell. Him and Rose are the only characters to be arrested (as in, not kidnapped by evil regime) in the Skywalker saga. PLUS they were immediately electrocuted after being pointed out to the space cops.

Rian admitted not wanting Finn and Poe together because he can't see them as two separate characters(he can't see two men of color as two different characters, let that sink in) and because in his words they "got along too well" and Rose is only there to give Finn 'conflict" We were robbed of Finn and Poe being boyfriends. I love Rose Tico as a character, but I will always want Finn and Poe to be together, aside from the amazing chemistry Finn and Poe have together and John and Oscar have together, if we get to see a gay relationship portrayed in Star Wars, it will show boys and girls who are gay that nothing is wrong with you, you are perfect the way they are and the way they love is beautiful. Oscar Isaac fought to have Finn/Poe together, he encouraged the shippers that the relationship they want is valid and supports it. And I feel so bitter after finding out Finn and Poe were meant to have scenes together in Canto Bight but were separated because Rian Johnson said “those two were getting along too well and that would be boring”  aka Disney doesn’t want gay characters in their cash cow. Despite Oscar’s fight, FInnpoe did not happen and it’s a damn shame. 

Rian Johnson joked about keeping Finn in a coma

Rian had a scene written where Finn was too bumbling/confused to know how to put on a tuxedo. He also had a scene where he sees alien ass unconsensually. 

Finn’s suicide run. Finn knows about the weapon during his time as a Stormtrooper, so he should know full well that speeder would be destroyed trying to destroy the mini death star. Finn’s attempted sacrifice was pointless as he knew that it wouldn’t work.

Rian has Rose explain to Finn, A CHILD SOLDIER, that war and child slavery are wrong.  Surely you see the issue there.

Finn almost had memories of his upbringing, but Rian chose to cut it. "In the original scene, Rose’s story of her childhood was a bit tamer and Finn shared his backstory with her, revealing a further connection between the two characters – that they both had family members taken by the First Order. Most of the sequence was reshot."

Rose stopping Finn. “that’s how we win, not by fighting what we hate, by saving what we love.” That makes no sense and ignores the entire narrative of Star Wars and heroism of the saga. Paige, her sister sacrificed herself to save The Resistance. Holdo sacrificed herself to save The Resistance. The Rogue One crew sacrificed themselves. Kanan Jarrus sacrificed himself to save what he loved. Finn’s entire arc in the movie was learning not to just think about running away with Rey and fight for a greater cause and when the time comes for Finn to prove that he’s grown as a character, he can’t? What was the point of Finn’s arc in the movie? And let’s talk about Poe. Shouldn’t Poe be sacrificing himself? Poe has spent the entire film watching others die and give their lives and he’s never backed down, so shouldn’t Poe be in Finn’s place? And if Rose stopped Finn who would save The Resistance? We saw after Rose stopped Finn, the bunker was blown up by the battering ram. Absolutely NO ONE knew that Luke was going to make his surprise entrance and save everyone. For all we knew, The First Order would’ve moved into the bunker and killed everyone and The Resistance.

I am well aware that JJ Abrams did Finn no better, I even talked about it here. But let’s be honest, Rian didn’t know what to do with Finn and truly did him dirty. 

This was really the easiest character arc for them to write. Indoctrinated Child Soldier turned Elite Soldier who after realizing what he was doing was wrong, wants to make things right, hunted by the FO for treason and because he knows too much, he slowly finds his path with the resistance and trains in the force with Rey and together they rise as the new Jedi, oh and Poe is his boyfriend.

It is my own personal headcanon that The force chooses Finn because he chose empathy for his fallen brother and chose to walk away from killing innocents.

Finn had potential to be one of the best characters we ever got in Star Wars. It’s been over 3 years since he was sidelined in the sequel trilogy and it still upsets me to this day. John really deserved better, to be marketed like this and then sidelined is just awful.

Finn in The Force Awakens: trooper number as call back to Leia, Awakening in the Force, & call to the hero’s journey/defending the symbolic hope of the Skywalker family is peak Star Wars & whatever was Abram’s original intent for Finn’s prominence in the ST; undone by studio interference because KK and China did not want a black lead.

Finn was the literal 1st face we saw when they teased The Force Awakens, it's clear he was supposed to lead the way for the future of Star Wars, criminal what they did to the character and god forbid a person of color saves the galaxy because some of ya’ll can't handle it

Finn was setup as the male lead and co-protagonist of the sequel trilogy. That’s not an opinion, that’s not a headcanon, that’s a literally fact. He was set up to be equal with Rey & Kylo’s foil and we all know why that changed.

At the start of the trilogy, we all thought people of color would have a prominent role in the new trilogy and there was a potential for the first LGBT relationship in Star Wars. But no, it’s clear that both TLJ and TROS gave us the impression that only white people can be Jedi and save the galaxy, people of color can only have secondary roles. And the blink and you miss it kiss? Only white women, not two men of color who clearly love each other.

Finn deserved to be a main character alongside Rey and Ben. He deserved a good character development, a great arc, an interesting backstory. he had the potential to become one of the most epic star wars characters. TLJ and TROS was an insult for him and he deserved better. nobody will EVER change my mind.

Finn should have been a Stormtrooper turned Jedi.  It doesn’t matter that you think it tells a better story for him to not be a Jedi. “Finn being a hero who is not a Jedi is important.” Poe and Rose are great examples of ordinary heroes coming from nowhere. Rey was supposed to be a jedi related to Skywalker or Kenobi legacy while Finn was the perfect "nobody from nowhere" that becomes a Jedi. And honestly, Black kids deserved to see themselves in the Black Jedi and black kids deserved to see themselves as one of the three protagonists of the trilogy.

#Star Wars #Finn #Finnpoe #Finnrey #Reylo

[lokislittlesigyn]

OG616 : Thor: The Dark World - Pt.2 [Isolation]

[My masterlist, where all parts of this and my other fics can be found]

Pairing: Loki / Sigyn (basically an oc based off the marvel/myth namesake)

Warnings: None. again, unless you want a warning for sad sigyn and loki

Author’s Note: This one’s a bit longer. Apologies in advance for me being such a horse girl, I can’t help myself.

Taglist: @high-functioning-lokipath , @onaheroicmission

To be added to the taglist, just ask me here or send a message! <3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Frigga left, Sigyn looked around her room. With the exception of her dirty riding boots off in the corner and a few books and papers lying around, the room was practically untouched, as intended.

What would he want?

She paced a moment. Stopped. The bed… She smoothed her fingertips over the soft, velvety bedspread. Deep sapphire, with silvery accents. She smiled slowly, thinking of countless lazy mornings spent under it. He’ll like this.

She turned, surveying the room. Think. What will he be doing? Probably lots of reading… I should send him books. Where does he like to read...

She looked to their set of chairs and accompanying footstools, which were covered in a similar soft, deep blue fabric. Perfect.

Sigyn gathered a few more things: The book he’d been reading before his fall. A pitcher of water - and one of his favorite wines. A book of spells. Finally, she grabbed a sheet of paper and wrote a short note before folding the paper and tucking it into one of the books. Perhaps she’d do this again, in the future - send him books with letters, little love notes reminding him that someway, somehow, they’d see each other again. She clutched the book to her chest.

~~~~

Later, Sigyn went to Frigga, explaining what she wanted sent to Loki. The queen assured her the items would reach him, and explained she’d arranged for a few other pieces to be sent. Namely a bed, and a washing stand. But before Sigyn left, Frigga stopped her.

“Child,” Frigga said.

Sigyn turned, facing her. “Yes?”

“Please, do not seek Loki out. The Allfather has forbade you do so.”

Sigyn exhaled, nodding. She’d guessed Odin would forbid it - he’d be a fool not to. But then, perhaps he was a fool to think he could keep her away from him…

“I know.”

Frigga looked at her pointedly. “Promise me you won’t go to him yet. For now, these gifts will have to do.”

Silence hung between them.

“Promise me, Sigyn. Please. If you want any chance of seeing him, you must be patient.”

Sigyn’s shoulders sunk slightly. She nodded. “I.. I promise. I’ll wait. I trust you to tell me when it’s.. Suitable.. To speak to him.”

Frigga stood a moment, considering her words. “Good. Thank you.”

~~~~

Loki stood in the center of a crisp, white room. It felt sterile. Cold. Contrasting with what sat in the room - a bed, which he supposed Frigga must have had sent. It was plain, only having sheets and a set of plain pillows atop it. Perhaps Odin would only allow so much comfort. Besides that, and a washing stand with a bowl of clean water, the only other thing in the room was himself.

He turned to his right, faced the glowing orange barrier that separated him from the outside world.

Would death have been better than this? This life, separated from everyone and everything? Hatred was better than apathy, that much he knew. But isolation…

Could he find solace in it?

The dungeon doors opened. A troop of Einherjar, accompanied by a few women - thralls, by the looks of it - walked to Loki’s cell.

“Stand back.” Tyr, the Einherjar leader and seasoned old warrior, held his sword at the ready. The sorcerer at Tyr’s side cast a spell, and the barrier slowly receded, fading like an ebbing tide. 

Loki smiled coyly and stepped back with his hands held aloft. “Why, I had no idea you’d bring me gifts..” He eyed the furniture they brought in, his brow furrowing slightly. That chair - one from his bedroom. His footstool. The women brought in water, wine, and fruit, all set on a table. Another woman placed a pile of blankets on his bed - no, not just any blankets. His blankets. Finally, another woman set two books in front of him and quickly backed away, behind the Einherjar whose spears were pointed at Loki’s throat. 

“How very generous.” Loki sneered at the warriors.

“These are not ours,” Tyr said as the sorcerer re-cast his spell. The barrier flowed back in place, seeming to solidify. “They are from your wife.” 

Loki merely watched him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a reaction. Instead, he kept his jaw firm, his expression unwavering. “Send my regards.”

Tyr gave him a look. Without another word, the troop left, the heavy dungeon door shutting behind them with an echoing thunk.

Loki glanced at the food and water, only now realizing how hungry he was. Touched the back of the chair - still soft. Walked to the books, picking one up in each hand. The first, he recognized as one of his favorites - a book of spells he often reviewed. He sat it to the side. The second, he realized was a book he’d been reading through before, though had never finished…

He swallowed. Dragged his fingers along the old cover, then tugging the bookmark gently, he flipped it open to the page he’d left it at.

A piece of paper fell to the ground. He caught it just in time, standing back upright and setting the book aside to unfold the note. It was Sigyn’s handwriting.

My dear husband…

Words cannot express my love for you, nor the pain I have felt in your absence.

I cannot imagine the pain and anger you must feel. But believe me when I say, you are not alone. You are never alone. Mother and I are here for you. 

We will find a way to help you. And in time, we will be together again.

I love you.

Yours always,                             Sigyn

Loki’s gaze drifted up from the note, to the barrier of his cell, then beyond it to the door.

Out and to the left. Up, until you reached the main level of the palace. Then up again, with a few turns, would lead you to their room - it was safe there. A place entirely their own, calm and quiet and familiar. She’d be waiting there - waiting for him.

She was probably waiting now, after Odin demanded she be kept there.

Both of us in isolation.

Loki folded the note, tucking it back into the book, which he left on the table. He walked to the bed. Grabbing the blanket, he brought it up to his face - his fingers twitching into a fist as he did. It smelled like her, sweet and warm. He closed his eyes, breathing in the scent…

After a moment, he opened his eyes. Laid down on the bed, on his side, clutching the blanket in a tight embrace. 

~~~~

Weeks passed. Sigyn kept her promise to Frigga, never once daring to venture too close to the dungeons. Eventually, she grew bored of staying in the palace, where her good behavior would be on display for all the Einherjar, who were no doubt reporting her actions to the king. It had been long enough, hadn’t it? She could stand to leave the safety of Valaskjalf and venture into the city...

So one morning Sigyn slipped on her boots and sleek riding outfit and went to the stables. She could feel the Einherjar’s gaze follow her as she walked, as though expecting her to make a beeline for the dungeons. And as much as she desperately wanted to run down there as fast as her legs could carry her, she still had a promise to keep. She had to wait. 

She reached the stables just as the bleak morning gave way to golden sun. Breathed in the deep, calming scent of hay. She smiled.

“Princess,” A stablehand greeted her, walking one of the horses in from pasture. “Shall I saddle your horse?”

“I’ll saddle him, thank you.”

The boy nodded. “He’s out in the eastern paddock.”

Sigyn thanked him, making her way through the grand stable - a few friendly faces greeted her along the way, big brown and blue eyes turning her way, ears swiveling to catch her footsteps when she passed.

Out in the paddock stood her sturdy dapple grey horse, Villieldr. His name meant wildfire - a name which suited his free spirited nature. Next to him, a chestnut whose satiny coat shone the same color as rust: Sinir. Sinewy, his name meant, and his lean, muscular figure certainly reflected that. They were both geldings, and after so many rides together over the years, they’d become close stablemates.

“Sinir,” Sigyn cooed, and the chestnut turned her way, twitching his shoulder. Loki’s horse always had a soft spot for her. Villieldr walked out to meet Sigyn, his velvety muzzle blowing grass-scented air over her face. “Mm, I missed you too.” She giggled, gently pushing his nose away. 

Sinir ambled over, and Villieldr tilted his ears back at the approach.

“Hush, you baby.” Sigyn scratched under his chin, then turned to the chestnut. “Hello, friend. I’m sorry Loki hasn’t been around to see you… You must be missing him, too.” 

Sinir lowered his head as she stroked his neck.

“In fact… Forgive me, Vill, but I think Sinir needs some proper attention.”

After giving Sinir breakfast and a thorough brushing, then dressing him in the tack Loki had chosen for him, Sigyn eased into the saddle. She clicked her tongue, and he sprung forward, eager to finally be going somewhere. All the horses were allowed to roam the paddocks throughout the day on a regular rotation - and when necessary, stable hands would exercise them. But Sinir had, no doubt, been bored in his master’s absence. Loki was forever his favorite person.

Villieldr’s distraught whinnies carried over the wind. He was pacing at the portion of the paddock nearest to the entrance, snorting, with his ears pinned back.

“I’ll be back tomorrow!” Sigyn smiled despite herself when Villieldr whinnied again, and led Sinir down toward the city.

Through the streets they rode, past houses and merchants and taverns, down to the rainbow bridge. 

Sinir tensed beneath her when they approached the Bifrost, his trot growing choppy.

“Want to run?” She stood in the saddle, squeezing his sides - he didn’t need any other signals. Sinir moved into a hurried canter, then soon into a gallop, bouncing Sigyn down the bridge until she found his stride.

By the time they made it to the observatory, Sinir’s coat shone with sweat. 

“Ho,” Sigyn slowed him down, slipping out of the saddle once he was still. “What a brilliant boy you are,” Sigyn stroked his neck and he arched it, his head low. “Thank you for the ride.” She ground tied him, then walked into the Observatory.

“How fare the realms, Heimdall?”

The Gatekeeper stood with his back turned to her, staring out the grand window of the Observatory. Naturally, he wasn’t at all surprised by her approach. 

“Full of unrest, my lady. Raiders continue to pillage and plunder, souls are left lost without homes.”

Sigyn stopped next to him, crossing her arms. “I suppose there’s no way to help from here...”

“Einherjar have been dispatched across the realms. Prince Thor, as well.”

“And the Warriors Three?”

“Mm.” Heimdall nodded. “They fight bravely.”

“Do you see Midgard, Heimdall?”

“Of course.”

“How do they fare?”

“After the battle?”

Sigyn nodded.

“Humans are surprisingly resilient creatures - they will rebuild. Even now, Thor’s new friend Stark rebuilds his tower.”

“How far can you see, Heimdall?” She inched closer to the window, watching the vastness of the sky. Even during the day, Asgard’s light only shone so far into the endlessness of Yggdrasil. There before her lay an endless ocean of space, full of planets, galaxies, and nebulae. It felt as though if she leaned too far, she’d fall into it.

She stepped back, looking at Heimdall, who was now watching her.

“What is it you seek?” He asked, seeing right through her question.

“After Loki fell, did you see him? Were you able to see him at all?”

“No.. If I had, I would have told you as soon as I found he was alive.”

Sigyn shifted her weight. Wherever Loki was, for whatever reason he was with those creatures in that mysterious abyss, none of it could be good. Something must have happened there, something that inspired him to attack Midgard…

“What about now?”

Heimdall smirked. Turned, his gaze settling on Asgard. “Reading in his bed. He seems content, all things considered.”

Sigyn exhaled a relieved breath. “Thank you.. I may return, ask you to check on him from time to time..”

“I’d be happy to, my lady.” He offered a small nod as she left.

~~~~

That night, Sigyn sat at the table in her chambers. One half of the chair set was gone, now - thought the thought of Loki using his half of it made its absence easier to bear. 

She grabbed a fountain pen and a piece of parchment.

My love,

I took Sinir for a ride today. He misses you - as do I. Vill was less than enthusiastic about it, but he’ll come around. Perhaps you’re right about him being spoiled.

I hope you are enjoying the gifts, if you can call them that: they’re yours anyway, after all. 

Someday we’ll go for a ride together again. I’m sure of it.

         Yours,                                                               Sigyn

Sigyn folded the paper, slipping it into a book of poetry and setting it aside, to be given to Frigga in the morning. She glanced toward the bed. 

Empty.

It shouldn’t be empty. Not now, not when Loki was so close… 

“Promise me you won’t go to him yet.” Frigga’s words echoed in her head.

She had to be patient. But she wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep that promise…

Sigyn grabbed a blanket and settled back into the chair, closing her eyes.

#loki x sigyn #loki fanfic #logyn #OG616 #thor: the dark world

[effymaybe]

Might buy, might bite

Lisa is having a terrible night. She makes some poor decisions, unaware of a certain creature awaiting in the dark. - 

Vampire!Jennie because it is not Halloween but vampires are always cool.

Pairing: Jennie/Lisa

Warnings: Mature content but the sexy kind / Vampires are not known by establishing ideally healthy relationships on the first try / I haven’t written in months and you CAN notice 

The night is unusually dark.

The few stars above palpitate almost painfully, and the darkish clouds invisible against the black mattress of the sky become only evident as they engulf the full moon in a loose hug. The contrast creates a faint, somber light that coats the quiet neighborhood as in a silent spell, and the yellowish glow of the few artificial lanterns surrounding the street only contribute to the mysterious vibe of the otherwise familiar landscape.

The absolutely rational portion of Lisa’s brain knows very well that a woman should never walk alone at night. She also knows, stored along other probably-live-saving hacks, that in case of finding herself indeed walking alone at night, she should never ever choose a lonely, poorly illuminated shortcut to reach her destination.

Now, although Lisa’s rationale works quite well, her emotional side couldn’t give less a fuck about surviving.

And that’s how she finds herself walking-running-crying throughout the most dangerous way home.

Her overly-expensive makeup is intact, thankfully, but the tight white dress she chose to impersonate an angel at that damn Halloween party is crumbled everywhere. Her long, black hair is quite messy, but at least her bangs are still in place. She’s running in her heels, much at the sake of her feet, and the ridiculous white wings she was so proud about just three hours ago hit softly against her back as she rushes to burry herself under a billion mattresses.

It’s pitiable, really, how he manages to break her heart in more and more pieces every time she decides to put it back into his hands.

It’s pitiable, too, how every single person she knows manages to betray her at least once.

Lisa stops in her tracks, feeling her long legs weakening suddenly. A ragged sob escapes from her plump lips as she brings her hands up to contain the tears spilling mercilessly from her eyes.

It was supposed to be a fun, happy party to celebrate that the big group of whatever they mean with “friends” could finally gather together after a long time of isolation. She prepared herself along with the girls, her own doe eyes shining in poorly-hidden excitement. She laughed genuinely at the questionably-mannered comments about her costume, drank a bit of rosé even before they got to the gathering. Once there, her boyfriend dedicated her a crooked, cocky smile and grasped her roughly by the waist in what Lisa considered a sign of appreciation. They danced and they drank alcohol. At some point, the brunette thought that her partner was going to kiss her, but he merely hugged her stiffly every time Lisa stared into his eyes.  

Then, time passed and he disappeared. Lisa’s so-called friends spread throughout the place to dance without her. Her feet started to hurt and the party got uncomfortably warm. She looked for him with her doe eyes lost under the flashing lights until she decided he wasn’t on the gigantic living room.

Then, she looked upstairs.

And she heard the moans even before she actually saw something.

Lisa didn’t want it to be her boyfriend. Her hands shook as she merely pushed the half-closed door completely open. She stared with her heart already weeping as the man that had promised her never to hurt her again twice engaged quite passionately in a much intimate activity with a girl who, amidst the dirty blonde hair covering her face, looked quite familiar.

It only took Lisa two seconds.

Her boyfriend was fucking her best friend.

Lisa ran downstairs, crying, ignoring her now ex-boyfriend’s weak protests and her ex-best-friend’s voice basically begging him to forget her and come back to bed. When she found to her group, or what she could gather of it, with her eyes already filled with tears, the simply told her that of course they knew and that she was kinda stupid not to notice, really.

Lisa bolted out of the party with her usually sunny spirit completely shattered.

Which brings her to her current situation, still sobbing desperately as the alley she is walking through gets gloomier and gloomier.

Fuck him. Fuck them, too. I deserve better. I deserve-

She catches a weak, airy sound with her left ear.

Lisa turns around suddenly sober and suddenly very much aware of the fact that she got herself in quite a disadvantageous situation.

The night got warmer, somehow. The moonlight has given up under the insisting obscure clouds.

Lisa feels the cold shiver of pure fear shooting through her spine and relaxes only slightly when she cannot spot anybody around the place.

She swallows thickly as she starts to walk faster, her footwear clicking on the pavement almost as if giving her in.

The brunette feels wired in, hyperaware. The fain sound of the wind makes her shoulders tense. She catches a quick shadow with the corner of her eye and only gets more nervous when she can still see nothing.

The narrow space crooks at some point, and Lisa inhales deeply.

She can do it.

She will walk straight home and gather plenty of strength and call her stupid ex-boyfriend to tell him-

But she cannot keep walking.

As her slender body submerges more profoundly into the darkness of the night, a strong grip pushes her against the rough, cold wall of the alley. She fights back, absolutely terrified. Her heart hammers painfully against her choked chest, and she feels the tingles of pure adrenaline strengthening her arms.

And yet, the grip remains solid.

Lisa thinks about shouting, crying, breaking down in a loud wail hoping to be rescued. Just then, with her voice already reaching her throat, she realizes that the figure keeping her in place is slightly shorter than her.

Feminine, surprisingly delicate.

Lisa can’t scream.

Her eyes search widely the ones of her captor, absolutely dumbfounded, and it is at that moment when the moon can finally push the disturbing darkness away from its light.

As the alley gets brighter, Lisa is left absolutely breathless.

Just in front of her, with both hands immobilizing her body completely, stands the most beautiful girl Lisa has seen in her entire life.

Her face is soft, but cut sharply by prominent cheekbones. Her eyes, dark as the silent sky, are drawn in a cat-line shape that makes her gaze simply melting. Her nose is delicate, small, and her indented philtrum leads to luscious, curved lips. Her forehead is half-covered by open bangs, and her light-brownish hair falls in irresistible waves against her soft jaw. Her dress, tight, black, and visibly expensive, exposes prominent collarbones and a set of curves that should be illegal for a single woman to have.

Lisa only realizes that she’s staring when she hears a soft teasing chuckle.

“Well, hello, honey”.

The brunette presses her lips together in a nervous habit. The girl’s voice is sultry, tempting.

She finds herself struggling for a few seconds before answering.

“Huh- Who…? What…?”

The beauty in front of her licks her mouth almost as if gloating. Her grip remains stoic.

“Who are you, honey?”

Lisa feels somewhat offended. She tears her astonished gaze away from the girl’s face to focus on trying to escape.

“No, who are you? What is this? Let me go!”

She tries with all her will, but the light-brunette’s grip does not give in.

There is something… wrong with it. Cold. Too steady.

It feels like she’s struggling against iron.

Another chuckle heats up her cheeks.

“I’m Jennie”, she hears, and Lisa stops fighting for a moment, “There is no need to be so rude. I was just trying to put a name on my next meal”.

The tallest girl scoffs loudly but grows quiet at the girl’s determined expression.

Jennie doesn’t sound like she’s joking.

“You smell so good”, the shortest girl murmurs. Lisa can’t move. She’s suddenly scared again, as her brain tries desperately to put some of the pieces of all that nonsense together. “Let me….”. The light-brunette shifts, burring her face bluntly against her neck. Lisa is still terrified, really, but Jennie’s chilly breath against her skin rises pleased goosebumps here and there.

The shortest girl runs her nose up her prey’s throat, absolutely delighted.

“Oh, sweetie, you smell fantastic. Fuck”.

Lisa trembles as her skepticism falters.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. What the hell are you?”

She hears a delicate, throaty chuckle vibrating against her pulse point.

Lisa’s knees give in further, somehow.

She tries earnestly to remind herself that the serious possibility of getting murdered in the same night she found her boyfriend having sex with her best friend should not be sexy at all.

“You know the answer, already, cutie. Don’t you?”

Jennie pulls away to lock her gaze with Lisa’s again. There is a predatory glint, a paralyzing edge that makes her cat-like eyes seem as if they could pick on every piece of the tallest girl’s soul.

“I… yes. No, I mean…. You don’t exist. This can’t be”.

The shortest girl’s lets a perfect eyebrow curve in a teasing manner. Lisa can tell that she’s plenty enjoying whatever sick pre-murder game she’s playing. She’s beautiful, the dark-haired girl thinks helplessly. Stunning. Jennie’s luscious mouth spreads in an open, gummy smile that would look adorable if it wasn’t for the –absolutely threatening and not at all attractive- sight of her pointy fangs in display. Lisa manages to stop staring at the girl’s reddened lips to focus on her intense orbs once again, and she lets out a breathless gasp when she sees deep coffee turning into bloody red.

“I do very much exist, gorgeous. And this definitely can be. I wasn’t even going to hunt today, but…” Jennie brings mouth closer to Lisa’s jaw. “Your scent… I had to have you”.

Jennie is not exactly courting. She’s more like being a blood-thirsty, all-powerful, over-intense vampire. Yet, Lisa finds herself blushing like a damn idiot. She knows, at a relatively conscious level, that the smoking light-brunette is just speaking about the very much needed liquid that runs through her veins and not about her whole physique.

She’s about to be Jennie’s next meal. And as the vampire´s fingers indent more profoundly in her skin, she discovers that there is no way out.

So she stays, somewhat embracing her destiny. Her ex-friends are shit. Her ex-boyfriend is shit. Her father is shit. She doesn’t really know whether her mom is shit or not because she abandoned when she was a child so- well that probably makes her shit, too.

At least she’ll die at the hands of a gorgeous woman.

Meanwhile, Jennie’s stare has changed. Deep red has settled in her orbs, but now she’s staring at Lisa’s features with scrutinizing detail. Her head is tilted. The tallest girl can see the delicate mole sitting just above her left eye. Her aura is intense, and definitely hypnotizing, and the brunette finds out that she has stopped fighting against the vampire’s embrace long minutes ago.

“You are so beautiful, sweetheart”, Jennie murmurs suddenly, and lets the pad of her index finger run softly against Lisa’s forehead, then the bridge of her nose, her pouty lips, her strong jaw. The tallest girl trembles, finding it difficult to draw deep breaths. Jennie’s touch is icy against her overly-heated face and it feels so nice, so charming. “So beautiful, baby. Tell me your name”.

And Lisa doesn’t even put up a fight.

“Lisa…Manoban”.

“Mmh, we’ll see that”, Jennie answers, and licks her lips as she traces her blunt nails against her prey’s throat. “You are so enticing, darling”, then, as an afterthought, Jennie brings her gaze up to Lisa’s mouth, “I bet you have an owner already… well… that’s not my problem, really”.

A twisted smile crawls up Jennie’s smug expression, and the brunette scoffs loudly.

“I do not have-”, her voice falters as the vampire’s starts to trace messy patterns up and down her thigs, “An owner. I mean, nobody does. It is not-”, the shortest girl’s nose dips back into her neck, “It doesn’t work like that”.

She feels another cold chuckle pressing against her skin.

“Fine, then. A boyfriend? A girlfriend? A partner?”

Lisa opens her mouth to answer. She’s about to be dismissive, really. If the vampire is really about to suck her dry, there is no need for her to put her fingers inside such a hurtful open wound.

But she can’t speak. She feels her lungs aching for air as Jennie starts to drag her velvety lips against her racing pulse point.

“I asked you a question”, she hears up her jaw, “Do you have a partner, Lisa?”. Jennie’s left arm squeezes Lisa’s small waist firmly, demanding. The tallest girl feels hazy as the vampire leaves open-mouthed kisses along her exposed skin.

“I- no. No, he… he cheated on me”.

Lisa guesses that the mere thought of the past events in the night should make her feel profoundly depressed. It’s actually kind of hard to think properly with the vampire’s sweet scent engulfing her senses.

Jennie stops suddenly, and the tallest girl feels irrationally disappointed.

“Is that why you were crying?”, the shortest girl asks, her red eyes- now more threatening than ever- burning into Lisa’s doe stare.

“I… how long have you been-”

The light-brunette frowns as her mouth curls downwards.

Lisa realizes that the girl likes her answers straight.

Well, damn.

“Since you left that stupidly loud party. What a waste of time for a beauty like you”.

The brunette is left speechless. She stares at the shortest girl with slight surprise. She doesn’t really know what a cold-blooded vampire that clearly has her under her entire disposition could win by such a display of sensibility.

Then, something changes. The light-brunette smirks once again, as if empowered, her aura shifting towards something dangerous, irresistible. Her soft hands start to run up and down Lisa’s body slowly, grazing the underside of her breasts, and the tallest girl cannot even think about the fact that she could try to run away once again.

“Don’t you see, sweetie?” Jennie murmurs deceiving against the skin of her neck, “Don’t you see that I could treat you so well?”.

The vampire inhales deeply just pressing against her prey’s pulse point, as if trying to contain something extremely forceful. “I could make you feel so good, baby, so good”. When Jennie’s hands reach to palm her breasts gently, Lisa gives up. She closes her eyes, powerless, and her mouth falls open as the shortest girl licks along her jawline, now exploring her back. “I love this”, the brunette hears vibrating against her ear, and it takes her a moment to realize that Jennie is talking about the damn wings, “They look cute. It was so fun following you around”.

“Oh my god”, Lisa breathes, and the shortest girl smiles against her neck.

The moon shines brightly now. The shadows of the night highlight Jennie’s acute features almost dangerously. There is a faint scent, hers, all hers, that clouds Lisa’s thinking. When she feels a firm, naked leg parting her own thighs, the tallest girl can’t help but to throw her head back in a spur of delight. The firm pressure against her moisty heat sends her into a frenzy.

“You are so beautiful baby. All for me. You just have so say yes”.

Lisa’s dizzy judgment wonders why would a vampire need permission for something that she can take so easily.

When Jennie starts to suck reddish spots on her sensitive skin, the brunette can hardly gather another thought.

“Say yes, beautiful. Let me taste you”. The vampire nibbles at Lisa’s velvety throat with her front teeth, soft at first and more insistently due the lack of response. A needy groan goes past Jennie’s lips as the tallest girl’s flavor falls onto her tongue. “Fuck, sweetie. Come on. Say yes. Give in, Lisa”.

Jennie uses her strong hands to guide the tallest girl’s waist so she can ride her leg in a steady pace. The dirty mewl that breaks off Lisa’s throat should be enough, but she knows that the vampire wants straight answers and she would give her anything, anything she wants just to keep up with the pleasing friction.

“Yes”, she lets out in a moan, feeling her body pleasingly trapped between the vampire’s strong body and the rough wall. “Yes, yes, oh-”.

Jennie doesn’t want any longer. She doesn’t think she can actually. The smell of Lisa’s thick blood now combined with her raw wetness unveil an animalistic nature she tried to keep at bay. She drags her piercing fangs along the brunette’s neck once, just to tease her a bit further, before actually biting down in pure need.

The taste alone almost gets her off.

It’s delicious, succulent, rich, even more addictive than she expected.

Jennie has never stopped herself from drinking blood, whether fresh or packed, whenever she needed it. She has been in it for centuries, damn it, and yet Lisa’s tangy-sweet savor is something her now gleeful taste buds have never experienced.

The vampire smiles in an almost sick euphoria as she feels the thick liquid spilling here and there. She alternates between sucking earnestly and lapping in a happy delirium, and feels the girl against her getting desperate to speed up her delicious motions.

For Lisa, it was brief pain, the feeling of sharp needles piercing through her skin.

And then, pure, consuming bliss.

She didn’t even know it could feel like that. It probably can’t, in normal conditions, but she is not even able to consider it properly properly with her clothed core grinding wet against Jennie’s bare thigh.

“Fuck, baby. You are the most exquisite thing I’ve ever tried”.

Lisa hears the vampire’s words coming in short gasps. It turns her on even further. Everything feels so nice, so damn right that she can’t bring herself to care anymore. When Jennie tongues the fresh wounds in her throat, she clenches hard.

“Such a good girl, Lisa. All mine”.

The brunette feels the vampire’s tongue deep inside her mouth before she realizes that she’s moving. A tang of copper combines with a cherry-like flavor that can only be Jennie’s. She mewls against the shortest girl’s mouth, her eyes shut closed as she takes in the relentless waves of pleasure that shoot through her body.

Lisa begins to thrust in abandon. She wants to thank Jennie for helping her find the perfect pace with her steady hands. She wants to thank her for making her feel so, so fucking good. She wants to be perfect for her at that moment and offer, just offer it all. A burning fire sets low, and it grows impossibly grand. She feels it tying and tying and she wants to cry out in desperation. She pleads right against the vampire’s demanding lips.

“Please, please… Please, Jennie”.

She doesn’t even know what she’s asking for, but the light-brunette does. With just a flicker of her wrists, Jennie changes the angle of Lisa’s thrusts. The shift hits perfectly, just there, all that the brunette needed, and she hears as the occasional moans she can’t help but to let out when Jennie releases her swollen lips get increasingly louder.

“It’s okay, sweetheart”, the vampire sucks in her tongue just for another moment, “Come for me. Show me, baby. I want to see it all”.

Lisa does not need any more convincing.

As if wired to Jennie’s firm orders, her body lets go in a powerful release that has her high for a few minutes. When she comes down, she feels Jennie’s lips catching a few tears of pure overstimulation falling from her eyes.

She is panting, damp, and incredibly exhausted, she gathers both because of the astonishing peak and the non-incidental loss of blood. Her head falls almost shyly on top of the shortest girl’s shoulder, but the vampire seems completely unbothered by the gesture.

She keeps holding her, waiting. Her hands run through her back almost soothingly, and then begin to fix her clothes in a surprising display of care. When Jennie’s knuckles graze against her underwear, Lisa jolts and whimpers a half-serious complaint.

The vampire smiles.

“You did so well, beautiful”, Lisa feels soft pecks pressed against the skin of her neck, “but I think you ruined your panties”.

The brunette allows herself to chuckle before inhaling deeply.

It’s clearly over.

A shiver of fear runs through her spine but there is not much else to do. She knows that there is no point in even trying to run away. She’s not even sure of being able to stand without Jennie’s anchoring arms.

“Are you… gonna kill me now?”

Lisa feels as the vampire detaches herself slowly from her body.

Her heart starts to beat furiously against her chest.

It’s truly over isn’t it?

She makes an effort to meet Jennie’s intense gaze with hers. When she finds pure confusion in a renewed coffee tone, she doubts her own words, too.

“Kill you, darling? What are you talking about?”

Lisa hesitates for a moment.

“Huh, since you are… a vampire and all”.

Brief recognition illuminates Jennie’s expression to then be replaced by an almost edged amusement.

“Oh, baby”, she murmurs, and uses her knuckles to caress the tallest girl’s features almost reverently, “You really thought I would kill you? And deprive myself from a gorgeous human like you? Absolutely not. I’ve been looking so long to find someone exactly like you. And now that I have…” her fingers grasp the brunette’s chin, forcing their stares to melt, “you are mine, Lisa. And I take care of what belongs to me”.

The tallest girl opens her mouth, stunned. She figures she should feel furious.

She’s mostly in disbelief.

“But…”

“You already said yes, cutie”, Jennie giggles. She looks so young, suddenly mischievous, happy with herself. “I have already marked you. There’s no way out”.

Again, Lisa figures she should feel furious.

She’s mostly… considering.

“I’m going to take you home now”, Jennie tells her, and eyes Lisa’s neck in a bust of pride. “I promised the girls that I was going to take a human someday. They’ll be ecstatic”.

“The girls?”, Lisa mumbles. She feels Jennie’s hand grasping hers, pulling her in, dragging her somewhere.

Her feet follow as if in a spell.

“Rosé and Jisoo. They are getting bored, I guess. It’s been only us three for centuries. They could use some new company”, there is a pause, “as long as I make their boundaries really clear”.

“Boundaries?”

Lisa is lost, but not completely. There is something growing in her chest. A warm, fuzzy feeling.

“I don’t share, Lisa”.

“Oh”.

They stay in silence for a few seconds. Jennie analyzes Lisa’s expression carefully. Her hold is firm and cold, yet somewhat tender. The tallest girl simply waits. There is no need to make a decision. She feels her own limbs going back to a relaxed, pleased position.

“Ready, darling?”

Jennie is testing her. In response, Lisa licks her lips. The faint taste of iron and strawberries makes her smile.

“Yes, I am ready”.

Jennie’s eyes light up in silent happiness only to turn deep brown again.

“Perfect. Let’s hurry up. I’m dying to taste the rest of you”.

Lisa wonders if she’ll get to sleep before that happens. Or if she’ll make it into some form of a shower.

As she delights herself with the gorgeous figure of her captor, she figures she doesn’t mind, really.

#jenlisa #blackpink scenarios #jennie scenarios #lisa scenarios #blackpink fanfic

[starring-movies]

Killing Eve: Episode Analysis

*SPOILERS*

Season 3, Episode 4 - Still Got It

This episode is different to all the other episodes of this season, as well as the whole series, as it is not structured chronologically, but it’s order goes through each character’s separate timeline instead.

We begin with Niko who is starting his new life in Poland, as a bread delivery man. Just like Villanelle does, it’s apparent that Niko also has a type, as when he’s in a bar he looks interestedly at a woman with the same voluminous, curly hair that Eve has.

When we get to Eve’s storyline, we see her in the Bitter Pill office. She’s getting ready for work after spending the night there, after Villanelle broke into her apartment and left the pink teddy bear with the voice recording in it.

When Eve is brushing her teeth, the camera specifically pans onto her toiletry bag as she puts her toothbrush back in it. Our attention is being drawn to this, in connection to S2E6. In S2E6 when Villanelle broke into Eve’s house to mess with her things, she brushed her teeth with Eve’s toothbrush and puts the toothbrush back into the same toiletry bag that we see Eve using in this scene; so we can see that Eve is still using the same toothbrush from that episode - Villanelle still manages to pop-up unexpectedly in Eve’s life, even though she is trying to forget about her.

When the bus birthday cake from Villanelle arrives at the Bitter Pill office, Eve knows it’s from Villanelle and she touches her neck. She touches her neck in exactly the same way as this in S2E5, when the white roses spelling Eve’s name arrives on her doorstep. Eve repeating the same action, immediately after receiving another gift from Villanelle, shows us how just like in S2E5, Eve is feeling flattered by the attention and knowing that Villanelle is thinking about and paying attention to her.

A song starts playing over this scene of Eve receiving the cake, which doesn’t look like it’s been released yet, but we can assume it’s by Unloved. The lyrics that can be heard are:

“I once had a love,

Or did Love have me?

It set me free,

It set me free”

The lyrics represent Eve’s inner turmoil in regard to her feelings for Villanelle. She can’t decide if Villanelle was once her “Love” or if Villanelle “had” her (if she only belonged to Villanelle) - she can’t decide if the feelings she had/has are her own, and what she really wants, or if she is powerless to Love’s control over her.

This struggle to determine her love and her feeling’s over Villanelle is what causes Eve to have the same reaction to the bus cake that she had with the teddy bear recording. With the recording she is angry with it at first, but then she changes her mind and holds it up to her ear to repeatedly listen to Villanelle’s voice. Similarly to the recording she feels both happy and angry when she receives the cake. She first puts her hands to her neck (which shows us she’s flattered), then proceeds to throw the cake off the building in anger, but then almost immediately after she’s let go of the cake she yelps in distress, suddenly regretting what she’s done.

Another interesting thing to note is that no-one else acknowledges or is even aware that it’s Eve’s birthday, except for Villanelle. It’s highlighting how Eve is isolated in her life and now has no-one left who knows her so well or cares about her as much, except for Villanelle.

Regarding the story that Konstantin gives in S3E8, about what happened with him and Kenny, we can see that the story doesn’t add up. The wall around the roof of the building, which Eve throws the cake from and which Kenny supposedly “got scared” and accident fell off, is way to high for this to have happened.

[Unrelated but in the same vein, is that in this scene we can see that there are two chairs on the rooftop, one of which Eve put the cake on and the other has been knocked over. We know from Bear’s video footage from S3E8, that Kenny and Konstantin seemed to be alone before Kenny died. So it looks like perhaps the two of them were sat talking on the roof (Konstantin might have been interrogation Kenny about what he knew) and then maybe Konstantin pulled Kenny off his chair and was holding him at the wall around the rooftop to threaten him and then that’s possibly when he accidentally fell off - just a speculation.]

After Jamie told Eve to stay at his house, we see Eve lying in bed holding up one of Jamie’s child’s teddy bears. She holds the bear up above her face and asks it “what do you want from me?”. Eve is clearly speaking to the bear in lieu of Villanelle, she is recreating their encounter on the bus when Villanelle was face to face with her.

When we get to Villanelle’s portion of the episode, we see her dancing in her Barcelona apartment while she’s trying to make a birthday cake for Eve. Dancing is a big theme in Season 3. We only see Villanelle dancing comfortably twice, once in this scene and the second time is in the tea dance scene from S3E8. In the dancing in this episode, Villanelle is on her own but she’s thinking about Eve and the encounter they just had on the bus. In the tea dance scene Villanelle is also dancing with Eve.

In this Season they use dancing as a symbol of happiness and comfort, and more specifically having these things with other people or another person - dancing is a two person activity, an intimate activity and also something that people aren’t willing to do if they don’t feel completely comfortable.

The previous times Villanelle tried to dance, was at her wedding with Maria in S3E1 and with her family in S3E5, people who you ordinarily should be able to feel comfortable with. So Villanelle only being able to dance when she’s either thinking about or is physically with Eve, shows how she’s never as truly comfortable or vulnerable as when she’s with Eve - also stressing the point that they’re soulmates, which is another theme in Season 3.

This is also the first time that we see Villanelle listening to music through headphones, and she continues to do this in the next episode, S3E5. As she starts to listen to music after her kiss with Eve on the bus, and when she’s making Eve’s birthday cake, we can see that it’s from Eve and the rejuvenation of their relationship that she starts to do this.

Although Villanelle has found out from Dasha that she is being given her promotion, while she is out shopping she still pauses to look longingly at two women shopping together. Even though she has everything she was always aiming to get (money, status, a nice flat, a fun job) and is going up in the world in her professional career, she still can’t help but feel that there’s something missing in her life, she still doesn’t have that “someone to watch movies with” that she told Eve she wanted in S1E8.

As Villanelle is out shopping, the song ‘Satan Is His Name’ by Holly Golightly starts to play. The lyrics are:

“Satan is a name he goes by,

He got a lotta devil in his eye,

He got a kiss of fire and it burns you well,

Breaks your heart and it hurts like”

The first two lines of the lyrics that are heard, are played when Villanelle is walking along with her shopping, giving us the impression that Villanelle is “Satan”. However, the next two lines are played as Villanelle is observing the two women in the shop; telling us that “Satan” is actually Eve, because Eve is the one who hurt and broke her heart. This makes sense as Villanelle is thinking about Eve kissing her on the bus and probably how, although it seems like Eve finally reciprocated her feelings, they haven’t spoken about it and so it hasn’t been made clear if this is the case - and so she could still be burned and hurt by Eve.

The fact that we are initially led to believe that “Satan is Villanelle, but the it turns out to be Eve, also emphasises how they’re now becoming “the same” more than they were before - they are both “Satan” because they both have the same “darkness” and “monster” within them.

In return for finding the information about her family that Villanelle asked for, Konstantin says to her, “but I need you to do something for me, something personal, off the record”. Just like in S1E1, when Villanelle repeats Konstantin saying that he can’t stay and watch a movie; and in S1E8, when she repeats what Irina says about languages - Villanelle being able to repeat these things shows us that Konstantin has repeatedly asked Villanelle to do ‘off the record’ jobs for him throughout the years, as a favour.

After Konstantin has given Villanelle the information about her family, she starts to hiccup, which continues throughout the episode. One reason for Villanelle’s hiccups could be because she was in shock, after slapping Eve in S2E8 she tells her “you were in shock. You needed a surprise, like hiccups”. So similarly, Villanelle could have been in shock from finding out her family was actually alive after thinking for her whole life that they died in a car crash.

However Villanelle’s hiccups do have a clear link to her association with family, as she first gets them when she’s with Konstantin and learns her family are alive, and also when she’s experiencing what it’s like to be a child when she’s playing and is hugged in the garden with Kruger’s wife. Villanelle also explicitly says to Pyotr in S3E5 that she came home “because I had the hiccups”.

We then see that the “off the records” job that Konstantin has asked Villanelle to carry out, is killing Bertha (Kruger’s wife) to tie up his loose ends from the money he stole from The Twelve.

Since we know that freedom is very important to Villanelle, she tells Bertha that she should be happy, saying to her “you’re free now, you can be whoever you want”; but Bertha replies by saying “I don’t want to be free, I want to be a family”. By giving Konstantin’s betting slip, and their chance of “freedom” to Eve in S3E8, it shows just how much trust Villanelle has in Eve; to be able to entrust her with the key to the thing she regards as the most important - Eve isn’t just an obsession (like Anna) for Villanelle anymore, but she’s become the only person who she knows that she can truly rely on.

Interestingly though, Villanelle does say to Bertha that it’s her husband’s death which enables her to be “free now” and she “can be whoever you want”. This brings to surface the thought that maybe Villanelle considers that freedom for herself, and being allowed to be whoever she wants, is similarly only attainable by being without Eve. Villanelle does tell Konstantin in S3E6 that she’s willing to leave with him and she’s aware that means leaving Eve behind as well. However, she seems to change her mind by S3E8 and chooses her family (Eve) over her freedom (leaving with Konstantin). Although Villanelle doesn’t understand it at the time, Bertha’s statement to Villanelle, “I don’t want to be free, I want to be a family”, becomes true for her by the end of the season.

At this point, Villanelle also still can’t understand the love that Bertha has for her husband and family, in favour of her own freedom; in the same way as she couldn’t understand why the prison mate in S1E7 would “rather die” than have her freedom; and just as the nanny from S3E3 was so willing to sacrifice her own life for a baby that wasn’t even her’s.

When Hélène goes to speak to Dasha at the swimming pool, she describes Eve as “the one who wears the...” and then Dasha finishes Hélène’s thought with “...turtleneck”. It is interesting that Eve’s turtlenecks are her defining and notable feature, as when Villanelle returns to Mother Russia, she too wears a turtleneck. If Hélène and Dasha have noticed that Eve wears turtlenecks, then Villanelle definitely has. Therefore Villanelle’s choice to wear a turtleneck, when she’s going to be reunited with her family, is like she’s taking a bit of comfort with her. She’s choosing to wear something that Eve is known for wearing so that she can feel close to Eve, and can have the comfort of her being with her when she’s going to do something that’s so important, nerve-wracking and uncertain for her.

Villanelle’s choice to wear a turtleneck is also her attempt at blending in. The turtleneck is something Eve is obviously known for wearing, and so because Eve wears them, Villanelle associates the turtleneck (like Eve) with all things normal and ordinary. However, despite her attempt, it’s clear from the rest of her outfit that she’s still far too well/over-dressed in comparison to the rest of Grizmet’s inhabitants.

When Villanelle arrives at the train platform in Mother Russia at the end of the episode, she touches her neck. This scene comes right after Niko has just been stabbed in the throat by Dasha, and so it could be to demonstrate Villanelle’s connection with Eve - in line with the ‘soulmates’ theme of Season 3 - it could be to show that Villanelle is being stopped in her tracks by feeling Eve’s grief and shock at seeing Niko being stabbed (in a similar vein as when people say that they just felt a chill, like someone was walking over their grave).

However, Villanelle touching her neck could also be a sign that her hiccups have gone, as she doesn’t get them again after this moment. It could be that by returning home to Mother Russia, Villanelle got the “surprise” that she mentioned to Eve in S2E8 that you need to get rid of the hiccups. The ambiguity of the action of Villanelle touching her neck (given that we’ve seen that she’s had hiccups throughout the episode but also that this happens right after Niko is stabbed in the neck) indicates that she touches her neck for both of these reasons, not just one or the other.

You can read my previous Killing Eve posts here:-

First Introduction to Villanelle

First Introduction to Eve

S1, E1 - Nice Face

S1, E2 - I’ll Deal With Him Later

S1, E3 - Don’t I Know You?

S1, E4 - Sorry Baby

S1, E5 - I Have a Thing about Bathrooms

S1, E6 - Take Me to the Hole!

S1, E7 - I Don’t Want to Be Free

S1, E8 - God, I’m Tired

S2, E1 - Do You Know How to Dispose of a Body?

S2, E2 - Nice and Neat

S2, E3 - The Hungry Caterpillar

S2, E4 - Desperate Times

S2, E5 - Smell Ya Later

S2, E6 - I Hope You Like Missionary!

S2, E7 - Wide Awake

S2, E8 - You’re Mine

S3, E1 - Slowly Slowly Catchy Monkey

S3, E2 - Management Sucks

S3, E3 - Meetings Have Biscuits

S3, E5 - Are You From Pinner? [Part 1]

S3, E5 - Are You From Pinner? [Part 2]

S3, E6 - End of Game

S3, E7 - Beautiful Monster

S3, E8 - Are You Leading or Am I? [Part 1]

——————————————————————————

#killing eve #killing eve season 3 #killing eve episode analysis #3x04 #ke #villaneve #eve polastri #villanelle #killing eve analysis #killingeveedit #movies #film #cinematography #tv reviews #reviews #good tv #tv recommendations #killing eve spoilers #killing eve discussion #ke analysis #killing eve 3x04 #killing eve S3E4 #phoebe waller bridge #jodie comer #sandra oh #fiona shaw #scene breakdown #carolyn martens #lgbtq #killing eve still got it

[ktheist]

twenty.

chapters: 19 / 20 / 21 

knight!jungkook x princess!reader

x

The room he takes you to is an attic room. There’s a bed and a chair and a window bigger than the one he had in the cell but this was not what you wanted for your knight. You want him to live a free man. You want him to be able to return to the Northern Kingdom and start anew. Perhaps find a woman and start a family. That was the only thing that made you agree to Taehyung’s bargain.

Could he sleep with the raucous on the second floor? The vulgar noises and the thudding of against the walls? The screams and hollers that still managed to pierce through the ceiling?

“Why did you come back?” It came out harsher than you intended and so are your next words, “why didn’t you use the money to buy a land? why - why did you have to find me?”

By the end of it, your voice cracks and your shoulders are shaking from the oncoming waterfall but you keep your back to him. But you should have known that your knight would never interpret your tone to be a hostile one nor would he stand by as he watches his Princess hold back her tears on her own. So it doesn’t come off as a surprise when those arms wrap around you from behind and his cheek caresses your head.

“I didn’t want to be in a place where there’s no you, princes.” 

“But are you happy with where you are right now?” You sniffle, the thought of him smiling at that woman burns at the back of your mind but if that made him happy - if the attention of various women and possibly night companions made him happy - then you’ll accept it.

“I am,” two words. Only two words and that’s all it takes for your heart to sink to the ground but two words is also what it takes for the organ in your chest to skip a beat, “right now. Right here. Because I’m with you.”

A sudden urge to look at him makes you crane your neck to the left,“Jungkook, I-” 

The words die in your throat. The lips that presses on yours are soft and gentle and warm like the first time you kissed them. The arms that hold you promises to cherish and to protect like the vow he took when he swore his allegiance.

“Princess,” he says in between kisses, “princess, I adore you.”

The cloak slips past your shoulders and pool around your feet. You don’t know when his hand snaked to take of the skirt as well whilst you tread backwards until your legs hit the edge of the bed. For the briefest moment, you worry that the bed is going to fall right through the ceiling as he cradles your hips whilst he pulls his shirt over his head.

He shivers under your touch when you reach to trace the scars that mar his skin. There are too many for a man his age. Too much pain and suffering. Jungkook’s hand covers yours, his eyes pleading for you not to do this. Not to feel like it’s your fault that he’s not back at the Northern Kingdom, living his life the way any man his age should.

He makes sure you know that it’s his choice when he leans down to kiss you. And you never question any of it throughout the night. How could you? He kept your mind occupied with other, sinful thoughts.

x

“Lord Park,” you greet the man as he walks into your office, the doors shutting behind him, “what’s the cut off age for boys to train to be a royal guard?”

He seems taken aback at first but that easy smile slips on his face like clockwork, never missing a beat as he replies calmly, “why, that’s a peculiar thing to ask.”

You pretend to sift through the documents on your desk. Coincidentally, you’ve found out he’s the head of security which makes it easier to handle the boy’s retirement. Or so you thought.

“We accept children as young as the age of ten, of course it’s unfortunate that their family had to trade a son for some bread and water but the children are better taken care of here.”

Ah, then no wonder the boy didn’t look at older than seventeen. He must have started training around the age of twelve since it takes approximately five years to acquire the adequate skills to be a royal guard. Wouldn’t it be suspicious if you’d ask Lord Park to let an ordinary guard to retire?

Setting the papers down and studying the man’s expression, you lean back against the chair and cross your legs. You have to resist the heat that rushes to your face as the pain in your legs reminds you of the events of last night.

You clear your throat, schooling a stoic expression as you catch on the big question mark on his face as he wonders about why you summoned him.

“I’ve talked to a few of the guards, it’s as you said, most of them came because their family was too poor to afford to feed another mouth.”

The man waits for you to continue despite the barely noticeable twitch in his smile.

“I want to amend that. No boy below the age of sixteen shall be taken to train as royal guard. The ones who are here now who wants to retire can do so.”

“But your highness,” he interjects, the lines in his forehead tells you that there’s problem, “we’ll be too vulnerable if a portion of the guards retire all at once.”

Nodding, you ponder on what he said. There’s truth in it and Lord Park has been holding the post of head security long before you came. 

“Then we’ll do it according to their age. Those older and enrolled the youngest can retire first and after six months, the second age group and so on.”

“What of the available posts?” He inquires but there’s a stiffness in his tone that tells you he’s not for this idea.

“I’ve reviewed them and it seems we have too many guards doing necessary things like guarding the empty cells or cells that have one or two prisoners only. I see no reason why we shouldn’t gather the prisoners in one place and have the most guards posted there instead.”

Then, he does the most unexpected thing. He challenges your power. “With all due respect, your highness but shouldn’t Prince Taehyung, the soon-to-be King be handling these matters?”

“The King and Queen rule side by side. There’s been precedents where the Queen handled the matter of the country while the King lead the army to victory in their conquest to broaden their influence.” You stare the lord down, it becomes clear that he’s only an ally when his position is not threatened and when the puny little princess needed a help to make peace with the mountain people who only served as a nuisance to the political interest of the nation.

“Her highness is indeed correct,” he bows, “forgive me for stepping out of line just now.”

“You may go,” you inform, back to studying the papers but just before he walks through the doors, you call after him, “oh Lord Park, did you know my knight, Sir Jeon, was released from prison recently?”

The colors drain from his face as he stares back at you. No doubt, it is fear that ties his tongue and chills his bones. It is true that Taehyung had made the orders for Jungkook to be imprisoned but thinking back, it was Lord Park who informed you of the supposed letters from your brother. And it would be unlikely that he didn’t know your knight - that important of a person - was imprisoned in the tower in isolation.

Your threat is crystal clear as  you meet his stare.

“Y-yes, I’ve been told.” He leaves you a complexion whiter than the infamous lady-in-white you’ve been hearing the girls gossip about.

That should be enough of a warning. He’ll know better than to cross the future Queen next time.

#bts smut #jungkook smut #jungkook #bts scenarios #networkbangtan #jungkook scenarios #bts jungkook #bts jungkook scenario #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #bts fic #bts au #jungkook au #bts fluff #bts angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook imagines #bts imagines #bts fantasy #fic: knight!jungkook x princess!reader #knight!jungkook #princess!reader

[theundercovermarvelfan]

Whumptober 2020 - Day 21

Day 21 I Don’t Feel So Well Chronic Pain | Hypothermia | Infection

Damnit, it was cold. 

You would think that after being captured and thrown in a cell, the weather would be the last thing on Clint mind. There were so many more things he should be more worried about, including but not limited to if these men intended to torture and/or kill him. But as the hours dragged on, Clint’s eyes kept going to that small, barred opening up near the ceiling of his concrete cell. He had already climbed up there and searched for weaknesses, finding none. It seemed like the purpose of the opening was simply to let cold air from outside into his empty cell. 

It wasn’t too bad at first. Isolation made him antsy, so he took to pacing around the cell to work off anxious energy at the same time as he worked up some body heat to stave off the nip in the air. He was given water and even a minimal amount of food once a day, though the guards who brought it to him virtually ignored him, no matter how he tried to goad them. 

Three days passed without much incident and Clint couldn’t complain about much other than boredom. And then, on the fourth night of his captivity the temperature very suddenly plummeted. 

Clint blinked with confusion, unsure what had awoken him at first. As he had every other night, he had wedged himself sitting up in the corner of the cell in order to sleep. The cell slowly came into focus and it looked as if nothing had changed. 

And then a shiver wracked through his body. He blew out a lungful of air, and watched the light mist that accompanied the exhale. 

“Shit,” Clint murmured as he glared up at the opening above his head. 

This was bad. 

He quickly pushed himself up off the floor and began to pace quickly around the cell, rubbing his arms. He was fortunate that when they had searched him, they had taken his jacket but left him with the fairly insulated long sleeve shirt and pants, along with his boots. It would protect him from fairly cold weather, but there was no telling how much the temperature would continue to drop. If it got down too low he would be in really serious trouble. 

“C’mon, don’t do this to me,” Clint pleaded with the window, as if it had any say over how much cold air it let into the small room. 

Clint continued walking around the room, periodically flexing his fingers and blowing hot air into his hands and even down his shirt. He even did squats and push ups in order to pass the time. He continually assured himself that he wasn’t in trouble yet. The weather should warm up in the morning when the sun comes up, and his captors were feeding him daily which helped him keep up his energy. He could sleep during the day while the sun was up and move around at night in order to keep up his body heat. This was still a survivable situation. 

And then, the next day when the guard approached his cell, he placed a cup of water between the bars and walked away. Clint could only stare at the solitary cup of water dismally as his heart sunk in his chest. He knew without a doubt that it wasn’t a coincidence that the moment the temperature outside dropped they stopped bringing him food. 

So, they had planned to torture him. They just needed to wait for the weather to cooperate. The big question now was did they want something from him, or would they just watch him slowly die in here? 

Clint regulated the small portion of water throughout the day as he did his best to rest and get some sleep. It was still cold throughout the day, but not as much as it had been the night before. But even though Clint couldn’t see anything through the high window, he could sense the temperature dropping again as the sun slowly set. 

He had never loathed the night so much before in his life. 

Having now eaten anything that day, Clint noticed a significant difference in his energy level as he pushed himself up to his feet. His vision swam for a moment before he stabilized. He walked around the perimeter of the room, keeping one hand on the wall for balance. For the first couple hours he was able to keep up a fairly consistent amount of activity to keep his body heat up as much as he could. But as the night grew deeper, the temperature continued to drop until finally Clint’s tired eyes wandered up to the window just as he noticed snow drifting down around him. 

“Sonofabitch,” Clint groaned. 

He was in trouble. 

The cold wrapped around him like an icy weight. His breathing slowly became shallower and he noticed with a vague interest that he was beginning to pant for breath, even though he had kept his activity level to the bare minimum in an attempt to preserve enough energy to make it through the night. During a pass around the small cell he suddenly tripped and almost fell, even though there wasn’t a square inch of this floor that he hadn’t walked a thousand times. 

“Damnit,” Clint muttered to himself as he braced himself against the ice cold wall of the cell. 

Yeah. He was really in trouble. As in, may not survive the night kind of trouble. 

“No… it can’t end like this… it doesn’t end like this,” Clint murmured as he squeezed his eyes shut. After everything he had been through, it just seemed so anticlimactic for what finally did him in was cold weather. 

Determinedly, he pushed himself off the wall and stumbled around the cell for another two laps. He was blinking hard, trying desperately to fight off the exhaustion that was suddenly pressing in, and wasn’t paying attention to just how much snow was blowing in the window and now coating the floor under his feet. He turned a corner a little too quickly and suddenly his feet went out from under him, sending him crashing hard to the concrete floor. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” Clint breathed as he stared down at the snow on the floor, now dotted with red from where he had busted open his elbow from the fall. “C’mon, Barton, get up, get up.” 

His entire body trembled violently as he tried in vain to push himself back up to his feet. But every time he got his feet under him, they slipped out on the icy floor as soon as he tried to put any weight on them. After several tries, he heaved out a sigh of defeat, finally acknowledging that he was just wasting energy. 

He blinked heavily as he pushed himself across the floor to the nearest corner. He pulled his shirtsleeve down over his hand and used it to sweep the snow away from the corner before he curled up into it, so that at least he wouldn’t be sitting in the snow. 

He glared up again at that goddamn window. It was just big enough to let in a light dusting of snow, which was especially frustrating since if he had enough snow he’d be able to insulate himself against the cold. As it were, he only had enough snow to mock him and remind him just how screwed he was.

“Fuck you,” he mumbled up at the window as he carefully pulled his knees up and tucked his hands between his thighs and his stomach. 

The minutes dragged on into hours. Clint noticed that he was beginning to shiver less, and somewhere in the back of his mind a quiet voice whispered that that was a bad thing, but he couldn’t remember why. I mean, the damn shivering was what was keeping him awake, right? Maybe if he stopped, then he could finally get some sleep. Because that’s all he wanted at this point. He was just so tired… 

“Clint!”

The voice came to him from a great distance. He blinked his eyes, blurry images moving around him, but he didn’t have it in him to try to figure out what was going on or even to really comprehend what the words swirling around him meant. 

“He’s still breathing, but it’s really shallow. His pulse is also dangerously low.”

“Clint? Clint, can you hear me?”

“Holy shit, he looks like an icicle. What, did the bastards just want to watch him freeze to death!”

“He’s severely hypothermic. Thor, give me your cape.”

“Will he be alright?”

“We need to get him out of here right now.” 

Clint was vaguely aware of being picked up and carried, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He drifted in and out of consciousness. The next thing he was clearly aware of was laying on a cot in the back of the Quinjet, wrapped tightly in a thick, red fabric with another weight blanket on top of him, an IV tube snaking its way underneath the blankets and into the back of his hand.

“Clint?”

Clint squinted up at the figure sitting next to him. “Tasha? Wha’…”

“Sh, it’s okay now,” Natasha soothed with a soft smile. “We got you out. We’re going home.”

It took Clint a long minute to really comprehend the words. Then, his lips quirked a small smirk. 

“Can we… make a pitstop in… in the Caribbean? Or the… Sa-Sahara Desert?”

Everyone laughed and Clint burrowed down deeper into his nest of blankets. He would never take warmth for granted ever again. 

#whumptober2020 #no.21 #i don't feel so well #hypothermia #Avengers #MCU #fic #hypothermia tw #captivity tw #clint barton #hawkeye #fanfiction #whump

[earthnashes]

LAST OF UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

I started playing the very second it was made available to play and just finished it last night at like 4 in the morning. And of course it destroyed me. I love this series man so much man. ;w;

SO! I don’t usually do this but I’m like, fuckin’ dyin’ to talk about it a lil bit so if ya have plans to play it, SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT. <:

-Aight so lemme just say right off the bat that this game is fucking. Gorgeous. The environments, lighting, visual design, the level design, everything was spot on. And don’t get me started on the CHARACTER MODELS. AND ANIMATION. Like bro that shit was lifelike in not just appearance, the characters emoted and carried themselves with so much life they felt legitimately real. They were all so unique too; characters had unique special ticks to just them (Like Ellie pinching her fingers when nervous or upset, or Joel standing taller and squaring himself when talking about hard subjects like he’s bracing himself for it, or Jesse giving his stunted headtilt when he talks) and expressed in a way that was just. Bruh. Aight I’mma stop but fuckin hell what they pull off with the characters in specific in LoU (both part 1 and 2) is just somethin’ outta this world.

-For anyone interested in playing it, the game is roughly 22-30 hours long if you’re just focused on the story, and much longer still if you take the time to explore and find all the little secrets. Some secrets include unique cutscenes and dialogue that are well worth the look; I haven’t found all of ‘em yet but I’m considering trying a completionist playthrough.

-Joel’s death fucking destroyed me. I’m in no way surprised he died, but it hurt regardless, just how quickly things went south for him and Tommy there. And ELLIE. FINDING HIM AND WATCHING HIM GET REKT WAS PAIN INCARNATE. Set the tone hella hard and I’m fuckin’ here for it.

-I’m not gonna lie I fully expected to dislike Abby given she rekt Joel, even though I figured it was for a pretty good reason before it was revealed her pops was the doc Joel killed. But damn. I really enjoyed Abby, a lot actually. From a gameplay standpoint I dare say I enjoyed her section more than Ellie’s since you were BLASTING ENEMIES with those fuckin’ GUNS of hers. And by guns I mean her arms’, jesus she was shredded. As a character, she felt a lot like Ellie from a different perspective and mindset, and I really appreciated the reflection the two of them had. Two sides of the same coin, basically. Also I really, really liked how killin’ Joel brought absolutely no peace to Abby at all, and you caught her beginning to regret it. And it kinda sorta acted as the catalyst to her shift in how she viewed the world. I think that’s a good portion why she latched onto Yara and Lev so hard. Perspective is everything, and there is always more than just one side of a story.

-In the same vein I had a blast learning more about Abby’s friend group, dynamics, how she lived, who she worked for and her past and everything. Of them all I think I liked Nora the most, but Mel and Manny were both reaaaalll close seconds. O:

-Speaking of, DOGS. DOGS DOGS DOGS. So many dogs man and you got to play with and pet them! Fuck yeah. That should be a rule in gaming; if you have a cat or a dog in the game, you should have a button to pet it. Also good gorl Alice is best doggy don’t fight me on this. uwu

-Jesse and Dina were the beez knees I fuckin loved them man. They were exactly the sort of folks I can see Ellie being best friends with. ALSO, this one isn’t major, but I really appreciated that there was no love-triangle here? Dina and Jesse dated, smashed, didn’t work out but they still remained good friends. Ellie’s first reaction to seeing Jesse is to confess that she and Dina kissed, and Jesse readily accepted the fact that Dina moved on (and he had too). It’s just refreshing. No bullshit love triangle there, just three people who really understood each other. Also jesus christ, I really didn’t want Jesse to die. Goddamnit. But I’m so glad they didn’t kill Dina too like, I was fully prepared to see her get fucked up. Base rule of LoU: anyone you like has a high probability of dying. ;w;

-BRO THINKING OF JESSE, ELLIE, AND DINA MADE ME REALIZE THE PARALLEL OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO MEL, ABBY, AND OWEN. Ellie’s triangle was essentially non-existent; no feelings of betrayal or anger, just understanding and love, like there was a deep-seated bond here that would weather anything. If Jesse had lived, I wouldn’t doubt he, Ellie, and Dina would have lived together to raise the baby together. Meanwhile Abby’s triangle had Owen seeming to unable to let go of the past he and Abby had together, that poor bastard was still in love with her, and how that supplemented the slow deterioration of all three’s friendship. I was sad to see Mel turn on Abby the way she did but like. I mean.  Dude was ready to leave Mel in the dust for Abby despite HIM GETTING MEL PREGNANT. Abby also kinda did drag everyone into this, even if it was of their own violation. Oof. Though it did feel like she was angry at both Abby and Owen equally, not just blaming Abby for everything there... or at least the romantic relationship part. Honestly probably one of the few times I actually enjoyed a love triangle in a story, or at least of this caliber.

-Isaac, the leader of the WLF? He was cool as fuck. I love how much character they packed into him without even showing him too much. Like there was a scene where Nora mentions she tried to question Isaac about Owen and she said “he gave her that fucking look and told her to drop it”. Hell, when he was talking to Abby, he isn’t that much taller than her but he felt like he outright dwarfed her with the way he carried himself and how they reacted to him. I love shit like that man. But anyway fuck Isaac. uwu

-Not gonna lie I kinda wish I got to see the leader of the Seraphites, but it was hella cool to learn that she had been dead already and how the Seraphites operated with and without her. I don’t think I found everything regarding that specific point in game, but it sounded a lot like a peaceful religious leader who’s words and teachings were twisted to suit the goals of corrupt members of the tribe. She was essentially an equivalent to Jesus, at least to the Seraphites.

-I honestly really loved all of the characters introduced but I have to admit that Lev and Yara were standouts. Yara’s one hell of a big sister, lemme tell you, and the lengths she went through to make sure Lev was safe really shooketh me. AND LEV. MY CHILD. MY SON. To those of you who are familiar with the LGBT+ controversy around the game, he and Ellie are what people are complaining about. Ellie because she’s gay, Lev because he’s trans.

Lev in particular was heartbreaking. His tribe were outright hunting him for who he was, as well as Yara because she chose to protect him. The mindset the tribe had was pretty much isolated to them though.

And jesus. That scene with him and his mother? Fuck.

-YARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :( BRUH that scene pissed me off, fuck you Isaac, you bastard.

-THE SCENE. WHEN YOU PLAY AS ABBY. AND YOU FIGHT ELLIE. WAS SO FUCKING COOL. AND SCARY. Ellie man, that section really showed how efficient and smart she is. She legit tricked me a few times not gonna lie, like I thought she didn’t see me but she’d pretend she wouldn’t, only to ambush me with a FUCKING MOLY. Also the fact that the game outright says “hey uhhhhh you can’t actually take her head on, she’ll fuck you up in a heartbeat bro”. Welp. A really strange mix of horror and sadness and pride there. Hm. :/

-Mom!Ellie was so fucking sweet to see. And it made me catch a glimpse of hope that Ellie actively tried to soldier through for her fam’s sake. But she clearly had demons she had to confront and I’m angry at Tommy for disrupting her and Dina’s life, but it felt necessary. Still made me sick to my stomach to watch her go after Dina fucking BEGS HER TO STAY. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-Speaking of Tommy, it was so sad to see how much he fell after Joel’s death. It really showed just how much he was like his brother though; underneath a gentle man is someone you best not trifle with, and is very familiar with doing horrific things to reach a goal. Because fuckin hell, Tommy is legit a badass. That sniper part was SO. COOL. Aaaaand terrifying. RIP Manny. :/

-Bro, I’m very curious to see more about the Rattlers but. They were fucked up in a special kind of way. There’s no telling what they did to those people they captured and enslaved. Seeing Abby in the state she was in after seeing her throughout all the game in tip-top shape was painful. That poor girl was literally skin and bones and... just beaten down.

-ELLIE AND ABBY’S FINAL FIGHT WAS SO SAD. I HATED (but I loved) EVERY SECOND OF IT. I was so scared Ellie had fully lost herself there, when she threatens an unconscious Lev to force Abby to fight, who at that point, very clearly didn’t want to. Honestly. Ellie clearly didn’t either, far as I could tell, but it felt like it was the only way she knew how to confront everything. Fight it, until you kill it, or you die. It also felt like Abby understood that since she was in Ellie’s shoes once upon a time.

-I don’t care what anyone else says I’m so happy Ellie let Abby go. I’m so glad she chose not to go through with it. For so long Ellie has been angry and resentful about a lot of things, and she never got a choice once throughout the majority of her journey. As much as I will 100% agree with Joel sayin “fuck this supposed cure, fuck the Fireflies”, it’s not fair of him, or the Fireflies, to just outright take that choice from her, that she didn’t really have one to begin with. She was justifiably angry with Joel and the moment she chooses to try and forgive him, he dies. Another choice stolen away from her. The fact that she chose mercy despite everything, and it was prompted by a memory of Joel, the very reason she was doing this, is profound to me. Like she finally understood why he did what he did, and why he said he’d absolutely do it all over again. Hell, she probably even reached the understanding that her and Abby really aren’t that different from one another in that aspect.

-Ellie returning to an empty home, with Dina and JJ gone, was heartwrenching. I fully understand why Dina left and she honestly had every right to, but it still hurt man. :C AND ELLIE. PLAYING THE SONG JOEL MADE/SUNG FOR HER. ALWAYS KILLED ME. But this instance in particular was something else man like fuck I balled like a baby. Especially when it was followed by the fact that Ellie and Joel were on the cusp of mending their broken relationship only for it to be ripped away man. Goddamnit.

-ELLIE AND JOEL DUET NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. FUCKIN HELL I love this game.

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So, this isn’t really a review more than it is me just sharing some of my thoughts on the game, but if ya want me to give it a rating? 10/10. If not a perfect score? At least a 9/10.

The Last Of Us as a series is one that’s moved me more than any other game I can think of honestly (outside of Telltale’s The Walking Dead), and just like the first one, LoU2 left me thinking about it for hours after. It’s thought-provoking, it’s compelling, it’s fun as fuck, aaaaand it’s made me cry like a baby a good number of times. I also really appreciate the fact that, in this game, they actually show the consequences of your actions. Like, they made you consider the fact that you aren’t just killing grunts to get to the next enemy or mowing through mindless drones. You’re killing people, who have lives, and friends, and families.

We got to see Joel for who he was: a very broken man, with a very dark past, who has done very horrible things in this shitty post apocalyptic world, but he is a father, and protective, and loving and thoughtful, who will do anything, anything, to protect Ellie. Blood or not, Ellie is through and through his child. But Abby only saw a monster, and could you blame her? He killed her father, and countless others, and she never got the full story. Just that a man came in and killed the entire hospital, put an end to even the smallest possibility of finding a cure, killed her dad in cold blood, and walked away no problem. And then it cycles right back to Ellie, where Abby becomes her monster.

It’s just some grade-A storytelling as far as I’m concerned, and I’m someone who usually prefers happy endings. LoU always leaves me feeling bittersweet but goddamn do I love this series. I’m kinda hoping for a DLC, to be honest? Like LoU part one, where you found out about Ellie and Riley. I wanna see what happens to Ellie; I get the distinct feeling she returns to Jackson and hopefully scrounges out some semblance of a decent life there, after confronting Tommy and (hopefully) making peace with Dina. But we’ll see! uwu

#earthsong talks

[prisonrose]

Silent Hill: Isolation (A Summary)

Your name is Dhimani Rose, and you have done something unforgivable. You thought that serving a life sentence in this hellhole was as bad as things could ever get for you. Like just about everything else in your miserable existence, you were wrong.

This labyrinth-like, twisted reflection of your “home” of the past few years seems like divine punishment, But you’ve never heard of a god as sadistic as this. Is it even more punishment for your past transgressions? ... Or is it trying to teach you something?

-- -- --

While I doubt this will ever be a proper game you could play (I might see if there’s a possibility to make it on like… an RPG Maker or some shit? IF I’m feeling especially spicy) I’m going to get suuuper into the “game’s” mechanics and plot now, because it’s fun to pretend. Silent Hill: Isolation is a crossover third person survival horror game based upon Chairman Dhimani Rose’s encounter with the Blue Mist. Its primary mechanics are with exploration and puzzle solving, with a little dash of combat here and there.

The game’s opening plays out on what seems to be security cam footage. After getting forced into a solitary confinement cell again for unspecified reasons, Dhimani suffers a total mental and emotional breakdown. In a short montage, he sobs, bangs on the door, paces around, and finally curls up on his bed in the corner. 

A sped up time-lapse plays out of him moving about restlessly on the bed, rolling over and tossing and turning, sometimes looking up at the camera angrily and pulling the blankets up over his head. As a distant siren wails, the camera slowly zooms into the screen as the minutes tick by at a frantic pace. It gently fades into static.

Suddenly, we’re in Dhimani’s room without the security cam filter. The door quietly drifts open, but he doesn’t notice. It’s not really communicated to the player, but they can control him at this point. They can make him roll over and notice that the door is open at any time, to which he’ll express confusion.

He slowly gets up to observe it, as if he can’t believe it, calling to see if anyone is there. No answer. He presses forward and slowly walks out into the hallway, still calling, “Hello?” as if he’s afraid he’ll be punished for noticing the door is open. But when he gets out, the hallways are mostly dark, a far cry from the blinding, white nothingness his solitary cell constantly assaulted him with. More alarming than that, the hallways are completely empty and still. The camera gradually swoops from the fixed camera position in the corner of his solitary cell to just behind his back in the typical “third person” angle popularized by the RE series.

From that moment on, the player is on their own. There are no other characters in this iteration of Silent Hill. The first bit of the game is played in complete isolation in the empty hallways of Wyndon Prison, slowly trying to figure out how mechanics work. Once you find your first weapon about 20-30 minutes in, the hallways and main areas within the prison will slowly be populated with monsters that you’ll either have to defend yourself from, or, more likely, hide from. 

While there is combat in this game, it’s always supposed to be used as a last resort. This is a classic survival horror type game, where resource management is key, and supplies are scarce. More than that, Dhimani isn’t a particularly tough character (as seen with a few of his idle animations, where he’ll cough violently or sometimes slump against a nearby wall for a quick rest), so it doesn’t take much at all to take him down. 

There are three basic actions. Light attack, Heavy attack, and Block. All three need Dhimani to have some sort of weapon in his hand for it to work properly. Otherwise, you’ll do damage to yourself. There are also three weapons, though they have uses outside of combat as well. All weapons will eventually break with all types of usage, and spawning is infrequent, so conserve as much as you can. You can throw them as well, to sacrifice the scant durability left.

The Shiv is the lightest, weakest, and has the worst amount of reach. It also breaks the quickest, but is also the most common to find. You can do several light attacks with it in the blink of an eye, so it’s best for lighter, quicker enemies with not too much health. Outside of combat, it’s useful for cutting Ropes. Note: Shivs can be found in all sorts of varieties, from toothbrush to comb. This is completely cosmetic, and changes nothing about the gameplay.

The second weapon is the Crowbar. Medium weight, medium damage, but the longest reach. This is the “jack of all trades” weapon and can usually see you through most conflicts just fine, so long as you remember that the timing is a little different than with the tiny, dinky Shiv. It also lasts much longer than the Shiv, but doesn’t spawn as much, either. Outside of combat, it’s used for prying open Planks of Wood blocking entrance ways or doors. It can also lift up Debris in some instances.

The third and final weapon is the Wrench. Heavy damage, but also a very heavy weight. It only has medium reach as well, so you really have to pay attention to the timing with this one. Doing a heavy attack with a Wrench takes a full two second windup, but it will kill basically every common enemy in the game with one hit if you manage to land it. Outside of combat, it’s used for smashing Padlocks. It can also be used to fix Computer Terminals throughout the game. It has the highest durability as well.

You will only get a maximum of 20 uses out of each weapon, including blocks and out-of-combat utilization, so once again, you definitely should not be trying to wail on monsters willy-nilly in this game. There is also a stamina bar for sprinting, because I’m an ass. Thankfully there is no stamina bar for swinging or blocking with your weapons. That’d be a hell of a lot to think about, especially considering the timing of swings and durability with the weapons. This isn’t fucking Dark Souls.

Dhimani’s Cell on his normal block is the only save area in-game. It is usually safe, but not always. To tell if the area is safe in that instance, you have to look on his writing desk for one of his two statues of protection -- the King of Gargoyles and the Angel of Tranquility. Both will keep lesser monsters out of the cell, making it safe for you to duck inside to get a really persistent one off your tail, but only the Angel of Tranquility will heal you freely. The King of Gargoyles is the one you get much more often and is the only one you get during the beginning portion of the game.

Every time you move out of your Cell Block and then return to his cell, it’s randomized which one you’ll get, or if you’ll get none at all, in which case, you’ll get the prompt “You feel a cold chill run up your spine”. If you get that prompt and a monster is after you, hide as quickly as possible under the bed and stay still until it leaves and you no longer hear it. Or else it’ll come in and assault you. Even if there wasn’t a monster on your tail when you get in there and get the warning message, stay on your toes. They can wander by freely, and if they notice you in there, they will aggro and attack you automatically.

In your Safe Room, you have a Chest for keeping one extra of each Weapon, Healing Items, and Key Items. You can also Save. There is an Autosave function in-game, so dying to a monster won’t set you back to your last manual save unless you’re on Super Ultra Big Dick Hard Mode, but you will lose everything you’re carrying, including Key Items. If you had to beat a boss to get the Key Item, you won’t need to beat them again, but you WILL have to go all the way back to get it, and that can be challenging enough, especially during the latter half of the game where monsters wandering the halls are more common and more powerful. 

The object of the game is to figure out what happened to everyone, where you are, and how you can get out. It won’t be easy… But you’ve been through too much to just give in.

#{ headcanons } #{ metas } #silent hill au #chairman rose #shut up let me be proud okay #{ic}; i know why the caged bird sings