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atlabeth · 10 months

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you’re beautiful — anthony lockwood

summary: a meeting goes wrong, feelings come out. you’d like to be sedated again, please.

a/n: so this started as part of “leave the door open” but then i decided i wanted something different (hence the wound dressing scene) but i really liked what i wrote there so here’s an entirely different fic! wow enjoy

wc: 2.5k

warning(s): reader gets stabbed, quite a bit of blood, couple death jokes, mention of not eating, hurt/comfort, fluffy ending tho

There was a saying in Lockwood & Company, courtesy of its namesake, that, if you had enough confidence, you could dazzle any ghost into submission.

Nothing but facetiousness of course, but it was true in a symbolic sort of way. If you didn’t believe in yourself, in every slash of your rapier and every circle of filings and every salt bomb measured to perfection, then there was no use showing up at all. You might as well sit down and wait for the ghost-lock to set in.

Lockwood’s words kept coming back to you every time you doubted yourself, his charming smile and eyes popping up in your mind, twinkling as he made you laugh.

And those words were certainly echoing through your ears as you stumbled through Portland Row’s door, a hand still pressed to your abdomen when you collapsed. Your rapier, still holstered, clattered against the floor.

George called your name from the kitchen, cheerfully oblivious to your joy. “You’re finally back! How did the meeting go?”

When you could only groan in response, he emerged into the hallway and his eyes instantly widened. “Oh my god— Lockwood!”

He rushed over and helped you up, propping you against the wall as his eyes darted all over. He took one hand away to push up his glasses, and you noticed he already had some blood on your fingers. “What in the world happened?”

“The meeting didn’t go well,” you grit out, sucking in a breath as a sharp column of pain shot through you.

“I could gather that,” George said wryly, and when you heard footsteps, you both looked up to see Lockwood taking the steps three at a time.

“What in the world happened?” he asked brazenly, a wild look in his eyes.

“That’s what I asked—” George said, and your breathy laugh was interrupted by a grimace.

“The meeting didn’t go well,” you repeated.

“I need actual details,” Lockwood called as he went off in search of the medical kit.

“Everything was fine,” you grumbled. “But as it turns out, our lovely source Mr. Pallworth was more skilled in getting into trouble than actually being an informant. He was in debt to some even lovelier relic men.”

“Oh, god,” George muttered. You winced as he put more pressure on your wound, having taken over for you. “I’m sorry, but this is so you don’t bleed out.”

“Did you get into a fight or something?” Lockwood marveled, bounding back over with a white box in his hands. “Because it looks like you were stabbed.”

“One point for Anthony,” you said groggily. “Mr. Pallworth ran off the moment he could, leaving me to deal with his mess. I was indeed stabbed. Only once, somehow. The relic men deserted when the police showed up, and I wasn’t far behind.”

Lockwood knelt down next to you, and he looked at you for permission. You nodded, and he pulled your shirt up to expose your wound. He did a good job hiding his grimace as he began to gently wipe away the blood, but it was still there. “Why did you come here and not immediately to the hospital?”

“I don’t know if you remember, Lockwood,” you breathed, “but this job that we’re doing is not exactly legal.”

“I don’t care,” he enunciated. “This is above our paygrade, and your life will not be on the line because of our lack of medical knowledge.”

“We either have to help her here or get her to a hospital,” George said, “because if we sit here bickering, she’ll bleed out before we make a decision.”

“I’d rather die here than a hospital,” you said.

“You’re not going to die here,” Lockwood said harshly, and his hands opened and closed into fists. You could almost see the gears turning in his head. He eventually let out an annoyed sigh and glanced at George.

“Phone 999,” he said. “She’s not dying because of her stubbornness.”

George nodded, grimacing at the blood on his hands—your blood, you supposed, which made it worse—and he ran off.

“I knew I shouldn’t have sent you there alone,” Lockwood grumbled as he started taking things out of the medical kit.

“No, you didn’t,” you said. “We had no reason to believe anything like this would happen.”

“Well— I should have known!” Lockwood’s voice rose, and his jaw clenched as he got himself back under control. He continued to clean out your wound, and you could hear George rattling off information in the distance to the authorities.

“You’re cute when you’re determined,” you said.

“I am determined to not let you die in our foyer,” Lockwood said.

“The foyer.” You mimicked Lockwood’s voice. “So posh.”

“If she’s being this annoying, she can’t be doing too bad,” George said dryly.

“Loopy from the blood loss,” you said offhandedly. You frowned as it sunk in. “Maybe I should go to a hospital.”

Lockwood heaved a very dramatic sigh as he continued to keep pressure on your wound. “At least you’re coming to your senses now,” he said dryly. He was still kneeling next to you, his hands covered in your blood, that wild look in his eye. “What the hell took so long?”

“I’m not…” you blinked the black spots out of your vision, “good with hospitals.”

“Well, I’m not good with you dying,” Lockwood said.

George came back over. “I’ve called the police—an ambulance is on the way.”

You groaned, half from the pain and half from the thought of the police. “We’re going to have so much explaining to do.”

“Leave that to us,” Lockwood said. For some reason, you found yourself grabbing his hand. He didn’t hesitate, his throat bobbing as he laced your fingers together. “Just hold on for a bit longer.”

You nodded, your mouth going dry for a moment when you looked at him— really looked at him.

There was unbridled fear in Lockwood’s eyes, the slightest glimmer of tears. If you weren’t slowly bleeding out, if the black spots weren’t taking over your vision, if your grip on his hand wasn’t loosening, you might have been embarrassed at his closeness, at his doting.

But apparently, you weren’t.

“You’re beautiful,” you murmured.

And then everything went dark.

You were assaulted by a barrage of lights and beeping, too-bright fluorescents and the sterile scent of disinfectant alerting even your still groggy mind that you were in a hospital.

There was something in your arm—multiple somethings, actually. A tube with a lot of red in one arm, and another with clear liquid in your other arm. Blood and an IV, you guessed.

Right. You were stabbed, and one does not just walk away from a stab wound without a few problems.

You weren’t dead, though, and that surely counted for something. You would have to thank Lockwood later, for his stubbornness beating out your own.

“You’re awake,” a voice breathed, and you realized it was just the boy you were thinking about.

Lockwood sat next to you in a chair pulled up at your bedside. His tie was undone, hanging around his neck, and he’d draped his jacket on the back of the chair. His eyes were slightly red, but there was undeniable relief sketched into his face.

“I am.” Your voice was raspy from disuse, and you grimaced at the soreness in your lower chest. “How long has it been?”

“A few hours,” he answered. He cleared his throat and moved to the edge of his chair, and your eyes followed the movement. He was holding your hand— he’d been holding your hand. “You— um, you had surgery. A small one, it didn’t take too long, but—” Lockwood’s voice broke, and he laughed mirthlessly as he shook his head. “It was scary. Terrifying, actually, but…” he managed a smile. “You came out the other side. You always do.”

Your breath caught for a moment, and your grip on his hand tightened subconsciously. “I’m so sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Lockwood asked wryly. “It’s not your fault you were stabbed. You did a rather excellent job fighting them off, actually. It could’ve been much worse.”

“I’m sorry for putting you and George through this,” you murmured. “I worry about the two of you every second of every day, and most of the time it doesn’t come to fruition. This—” you laughed, which immediately turned into a wince— “I’d say this is fruition.”

“I’m just glad we got you here in time,” Lockwood muttered. He looked at you, his eyes boring into you with equal parts concern and desperation. You used to hate that about him, especially when you joined, how it always felt like he could look at you and know every single thing. “You said the police showed up in the fight. You were obviously injured— why didn’t you get them to call an ambulance? Why did you risk it all to come back to Portland Row?”

“I told you. The job we took on was illegal, and I felt it was going to be a much bigger mess than we needed to deal with.”

“I don’t care how illegal it was,” Lockwood said stiffly. “You were hurt— you were in danger. That comes before anything else, alright? You come before anything else.”

The intensity of his voice made you pause, unable to do anything but… look at him. His hair was tousled, no doubt from running his hand through it endlessly as he was wont to do whenever he was stressed. His undone tie and discarded jacket, his eyes, red from… from crying, most likely. He cried over you.

When your hand tightened around his this time, you did it on purpose.

“Thank you,” you murmured. “You’re probably the reason I’m alive.”

Lockwood managed to crack a smile. “It wouldn’t look good for the agency if my employees started dying. I don’t have very many to lose.”

That got a genuine laugh out of you, and you tried your best to ignore the subsequent wince. “Of course. That’s why I pulled through, to make us look better.”

“Your efforts are much appreciated,” he said, that small smile still on his lips as he rubbed mindless circles on your hand with his thumb.

The door creaked slightly as someone pushed it open, and a smile broke out on your face when you saw it was George.

“I was wondering where you were,” you said.

“Tea,” he said, lifting the drink holder with one hand and a box with his other, “and donuts.” He looked at Lockwood pointedly. “You’ve got to get something in you. It’s not exactly healthy, but the sugar will help.”

You looked at Lockwood. “You haven’t eaten?”

“I was preoccupied,” he said dryly.

“That’s no excuse,” you said. “Eat your donuts, and as soon as we get home, George is cooking you something.” You looked up at him. “Right?”

“Right,” George agreed. He handed Lockwood one of the cups and set the box on the table, and he smiled as he took a seat across from you. “You look much better. You’re bossing everyone around again—I take it you’re doing better too?”

“Much,” you nodded. “Thanks for getting me here, by the way. I’d probably have bled out if it weren’t for you.”

“Of course.” George took a donut from the box. “I can’t let you leave me alone with him.”

“Oh, I would never,” you said wryly.

“I’m surprised you’re willing to be alone with him after what you said,” George said offhandedly, and both you and Lockwood stared at him.

“George—” he started.

“What do you mean?” you interrupted.

He made that funny little expression where he knew he said something he probably shouldn’t have, and he busied himself with his donut. “Nothing.”

“George,” you deadpanned, “I’m the one in the hospital bed. I have pity points. Tell me.”

Lockwood sighed and leaned back in his chair, though you noticed he still didn’t let go of your hand.

“I’m guessing you don’t remember what you said,” George said slowly. “Before you blacked out, I mean.”

“No.” Your eyes darted between the two of them. “Why? Did I say something awful?”

“Not awful,” Lockwood said, still looking away. “Pretty far from it, I’d say.”

“Why are you two acting so weird?” you asked. “Spit it out!”

“You called Lockwood beautiful,” George finally said, and you just about died right there. “Right before you went out, you said he was beautiful.”

You blinked. Looked at Lockwood, who didn’t seem to be the slightest bit embarrassed—god, was he smiling?—looked at George, who was this time busying himself with his tea.

“You’re kidding,” you said.

“...He’s not,” Lockwood said, tilting his head to the side. “You did do that.”

“Looked up at him, said ‘you’re beautiful’, passed out.” George shrugged as he took another sip of his tea. “Quite dramatic, I’ll give you that. It drove Lockwood absolutely insane, too.”

“George,” Lockwood said sharply, “don’t you have a phone call to make?”

He chuckled. “Yeah. How could I forget?”

You weren’t even able to watch him as he walked out of the room, leaving you alone with Lockwood. You wanted to melt into the bed. This was the absolute worst way for your feelings to come out, feelings that you were content to let sit forever and never really reveal. Apparently, you couldn’t even almost die with dignity.

“It’s alright,” Lockwood said. “You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“No, I do have to be embarrassed.” You stared up at the ceiling. “I do have to be embarrassed, because my last words could have been ‘you’re beautiful’.”

“Why?” he asked. “Do you not think I’m beautiful?”

You groaned, and if you hadn’t been practically immobile, you would have buried your face in the pillows. “Get a nurse to sedate me again, please.”

Lockwood flashed that irritatingly pretty grin as he took your hand again. You hadn’t even realized he’d let go. “Relax. I think you’re beautiful too.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Even now?”

“Even now,” Lockwood said. “Always.”

“At least you’re not saying it half-conscious and dying,” you mumbled.

“I think it’s better I’m saying it now,” he said. “You know I mean it.”

You looked him in the eye. “You really do?”

“What did I just say?” Lockwood chuckled. “Always. Forever.”

You felt the heat creep to your cheeks. “I can’t believe this is what it took to get you to admit your feelings.”

“It took this for you to admit your feelings,” he countered. “It took you admitting them for me to admit them. I never really knew you felt the same way.”

“I guess I have a flair for dramatics,” you said wryly.

“It seems so,” Lockwood said. “How about after all this is done, when you’re good and cleared by the doctor, I’ll take you out for tea. My treat.”

“You pay my salary,” you said. “Everything is practically your treat.”

Lockwood grinned. “Do you want to go on a date with me or not?”

You smiled, and you pulled your joined hands closer. You pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Excellent.” He smiled as well, a breath of relief coming out of him, and he leaned closer. “Just remember that you don’t have to get stabbed to get me to ask you out on a second date.”

#anthony lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood x you #lockwood x reader #lockwood x you #lockwood & co x reader #lockwood & co #x reader #reader insert #sadie writes

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alle-ni · 7 months

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My thoughts about goodomensverse (I'm clinically insane) (my personal opinion) (long post)

Book Crowley:

- absolute disaster

- lonely boy

- grumpiest

- he's so in love with Aziraphale but didn't even realised yet

- a bit dumb sometimes ngl

- very tired

- he's trying so hard save earth and everything he knows but everytime he tries to explain why it's always AZIRAPHALE

- sometimes he's like... your old gay uncle, the old gay uncle of the family except it's a 6000 years old gender fluid demon

- HISS LIKE A SNAKE GANG

- got called dear once and them died (figuratively)

Radio Crowley:

- flirty

- "Humm have you ever seen me in a dress~~??"

- he's like flirting with Aziraphale 24/7

- 0 patience this man is a BOMB

- if Aziraphale ever EVER got slightly flirty with him back he will EXPLODE

- smartest of them all, he's very intelligent

- HISS LIKE A SSSSSNAKE GANG

- he's so in love with Aziraphale and it makes him SO FRUSTRATED

- his Aziraphale is the hardest one to reach, maybe this is why he's so deliberately obvious and direct with him (he's resilient, he will never give up)

- he's like a tsudere teenager collegial except he's a 6000 years old demon with serious issues

- not called dear yet poor soul </3

TV Crowley:

- SILLY

- he's the dumbest of them all, sorry 😭

- red hair

- he's so in love with Aziraphale and everyone notice it's SO OBVIOUS

- he's the most affected by The Bookshop Burning ™ event

- the only one who got to kiss the angel, good for him ig, or sorry, idk

- anxiety bomb he literally (literally) EXPLODE

- strongest soldier bc his Aziraphale is IMPOSSIBLE

- got dumped 2 times more than the others someone pls help him

- the most brave tho

- doesn't hiss a lot :/ free him from this madness let him hiss

- he's like a puppy with giant yellow eyes except it's a 6000 years old snake demon that lies all the time

- protective as hell this man wouldn't let anyone near Aziraphale if possible

- got called dear but at what cost??????????????

Book Aziraphale:

- Anxious all the time, religious trauma except the god is your father and he left you and never talk to you again and the guard angels are your siblings and they want you do be dead

- He's so soft he wants so bad to comfort Crowley but he's really hard to reach

- his Crowley is the most difficult of all of them, he needs to circle him a lot to get in touch

- this man got called names so often I don't think he even cares anymore

- he's very nerdy

- he's the calmest of them all

- really chill

- everyone is so mean to him for no reason

- he has 1 braincell tbh and it's really bad bc his Crowley is not that brilliant too they're both stupid sometimes

- he really REALLY wants to be with Crowley and Crowley only, he sounds almost obligated to be with heaven

- he is really kind to others even when they don't deserve

- he called Crowley dear once and then implode

Radio Aziraphale:

- full of himself

- bastard

- the most closed and oblivious of them all

- he tries to play cool with Crowley all the time (he's slowly getting insane and someday he will jump on this man)

- he's the most self sufficient one he barely holds on Crowley to anything and they're pretty independent

- Crowley can say shit like "Miss me angel~~??" and he would keep a bored face and not react at all (he screamed with the walls 4 hours later)

- he's also a tsudere collegial but he at least try to look cool and composed in public

- he's the Aziraphale that most believes in heaven, he's sure they are good and selfless and the right side

- he's not so brilliant tbh but he got a lot of spirit

- the most active Aziraphale ?? He really put his hand in the dirt and do the things alone

- the most angry and bad tempered of them all, bro scream "WE ARE CLOSED LOOK AT THE DAMN SIGN" when ppl barely touch the bookshop door

- he has a lot of patience with Crowley, not deserved tbh bc he thinks it's his personal job to get in Aziraphale's nerves

- overall he is polite

- he's really proud of their "arrangement" there not only one chance he let go without saying that

- he likes to provoke Crowley sometimes too but not as much as the other way around

- if he ever call Crowley dear he will explode

TV Aziraphale:

- bitchiest

- this man need to be sedated what the fuck Aziraphale

- most nuts of then all he's CRAZY

- he's the most up to do shit with Crowley they're insane together

- he doesn't let Crowley rest he is flirting and being cute and hitting on Crowley all the time

- he's so obviously in love with Crowley its embarrassing

- he's the fruitiest he's the entire salad

- the most... indulgent, if I can say, of them all

- more like an employer of heaven, different of book Aziraphale

- he's the only one with almost white hair

- he got kissed but at what cost

- he's the most intelligent of all of them how can he be this dumb

- he loves little things about earth and humans and life and he seems to be the Aziraphale that most love EARTH itself, like, the life, the humans, the food, the little pleasures we have, the little time of happiness we have between all the shit that is happening... he really loves humans <3

- he's conflicted about heaven, he seems to know that there's something WRONG with how heaven works but still doesn't understand what exactly it is

- "oh but saving me makes him soooo happyyyy~~~"

- overall kind and sweet, in a excited way

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziracrow #crowley #Aziraphale #radio omens #good omens radio #good omens book #thats my opinion #more like some thoughts i have been collecting since im hearing radio omens #not really accurate #does this count as character study????#lol I think not #maybe i have a preference for radio Aziraphale i wrote so much more about him and ended up erasing it all bc it made me look insane #shit its 2 am I'm so sleepy

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sorchathered · 17 days

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Strip that down

Pairing- Club Owner!Jake Seresin x Dancer!Reader (Nightclub AU)

Warnings- mentions of stripping, language, light smut

Summary-I’m gonna be so serious y’all I blacked out writing this, might make it a series of drabbles in the future bc I went feral for the concept.

“I swear you have got to be the most pig headed, arrogant son of a bitch I’ve ever met” you say as you storm down the hall, a very disgruntled Jake Seresin hot on your heels. He hadn’t intended to start a fight but goddamnit it seemed like no matter what he said lately caused an argument.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? It’s not like I was asking for that girl’s number or anything, she was all over me! What did you want me to do? hit her? Come on Cherry just stop and look at me please?” He said as he jogged in front of you to stall you. You two weren’t even dating, you’d been very adamant that this was just hooking up, so why were you so pissed? Unless…

“Cherry look at me. I can’t keep fighting with you like this, it’s driving me insane. If you want to break things off we can, I can’t say I won’t miss you but I’ll get it. We work together and it’s hard to be professional when shit like this happens. But…if you want more, all you have to do is ask baby girl, you know good and damn well you’ve got me totally wrapped.”

He had you crowded up against the sticky nightclub wall, bass thrumming through the room straight into your chest as he skimmed his hands up and down your sides. You’d been in the middle of your set when you watched some fresh faced new hire throw her arms around his neck and get way too close for your liking, but of course you had to be professional and continue on, trying to school your features as you danced on stage. The second you’d finished and gotten your tips you’d slammed his portion on the bar, stomping off to the dressing rooms, the fire in your eyes enough to burn the whole room down. He wasn’t yours, he was your boss and you should’ve known better than to let him get under your skin like this.

You were trying to get your bearings but your head was spinning, had he really just said he wanted more? You opened your mouth but promptly shut it, how were you supposed to respond to that? Of course that’s what you wanted but you never would’ve suggested it, you’d been in love with him since the two of you had started this whole arrangement, how could you not be? He was charming and charismatic, and don’t even ask about his looks; the man knew he looked good. He was making it harder and harder to focus now, those damn hands of his couldn’t seem to stop grazing over whatever exposed flesh he could get to and it was making you dizzy.

He cocked his head and smirked that smart ass smile at you, leaning in to whisper against your lips, “Gotta use your words baby, you want us to keep going like we are? Or do you want me to make you mine? You say the word and I’ll make sure every girl in a 100 mile radius knows you own me, but I need to hear you say it.”

“You know I do, I love you, you’re such an asshole but fuck I do, I love you Jake.”

He groaned as he pressed himself to you, kissing you hard as he continued to run his hands all over your body. “Goddamnit Cherry, you can’t just drop a bomb like that on me, making me fucking crazy, I ought to take you right here where everyone can see.” His words sent fire through your veins, you cried out and bucked into him at the thought of him fucking you right outside of the main stage, anyone could walk by and you weren’t sure you’d even care. He chuckled against the shell of your ear as he continued to press his palm against your core, he could feel you soaking through the thin fabric of your costume, again he briefly considered following through with his taunting and fucking you right here, but thought better of it because after all you were still at work. He kissed you again and removed his hand from your shorts, watching your pretty doe eyes blink at him in shock, you really had thought he’d do it.

“Oh come on now don’t look at me like that, go change and grab your stuff, first I’m gonna take you out for dinner and then you can be my dessert, whadd’ya say Cherry Pie?” You rolled your eyes but let him scoot you down the hall, and when you walked out with his hand on your ass you made sure the new waitress caught a glimpse of your tongue down his throat. Jake could definitely get used to this side of you, and the private dances just for him every night didn’t hurt either.

🏷️ Tagging- @mamamaystbr @mamachasesmayhem @sailor-aviator @attapullman @bobgasm @sebsxphia @goldenseresinretriever @bradshawssugarbaby @roosterforme @mynameismckenziemae @sarahsmi13s @hangmansgbaby

#top gun maverick #jake seresin #top gun maverick fanfiction #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman x you #jake hangman smut #jake hangman fic #jake hangman x reader #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin fanfiction #jake seresin smut #top gun maverick au #top gun au #nightclub!au

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yanderefictinallove · 2 months

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PT. 2 Yandere Hazbin Hotel Headcanons

A/n: rosie is pretty asf

Rosie🍖🌹

She is very passive on anything negative, you have to say, like if u were in one of your fits. She would say something like, "Aww sweetie, you're just hungry, here have a finger." Ingnoring the please to go home.

She likes to dress up in the bedroom. Surprisingly, she wears lacey pretty lingere. She bites you just to satisfy her cannibal hunger, tho. Her favorite thing is aftercare. She likes the chaos, but the peace is also nice at times.

~The Darling Overloard~

🌹🍖🌹🍖🌹🍖🌹🍖🌹🍖🌹🍖🌹🍖🌹🍖🌹🍖

Vox🖥💵

He is a chatter box. He never FUCKING shuts up. He has cameras watching your every move, from sleeping to a shower.

He rants and tells you about how much he hates the radio demon. All you wanna do is go home.

He is an insecure asshole, so he always has to prove that he is better than everyone and show he is the better "lover" bc that love is one-sided.

Something I noticed is that Vox talks very fast and seems to be very snarky, and I think that he makes you agree or do things you don't wanna do. He uses his hellish talking.

Feed his ego and you will be fine....I think

~Demon Of Tv~

💵🖥💵🖥💵🖥💵🖥💵🖥💵🖥💵🖥💵🖥💵🖥

Valentino💋💵

He's a pimp, but when it comes to you, you are only for him. He spoils you, and honestly, he kinda seems out of character.

Till you want privacy or space. He trows shit and punches walls. This can also happen if he wants to record you and you refuse to undress on camera, shit, it was hard for you to get undressed willingly because, well, you were taken by force.

He can be ruthless and unbearable at times, he fucks any negative emotions out of you, weather u wanna or not.

You also get a lot of forced affection.

~The Moth Pimp~

💋💵💋💵💋💵💋💵💋💵💋💵💋💵💋💵💋💵

Velvet📱💵

Very demanding yandere, when she tells you to come you come, if she says speak, speak, and if she says put this dress on, you say with pleasure.

She loves to dress you up, especially if there is an important event. She makes sure you are matching.

You are always posted on her social media, and she makes sure that you are used in advertisements.

She definitely has a tracker on her phone so she can find you easily.

~The Backbone Of The V's~

📱💵📱💵📱💵📱💵📱💵📱💵📱💵📱💵📱💵

Cherri Bomb🍒💣

She is actually very laid back and cool. Sure, she can be forceful at times, but she still tries to understand were your coming from

She makes you drink a lot with her when you two are alone. She let's you walk around town, but not into certain parts.

She can be very gentle and cuddly, she loves to hold you though abd lay back and talk about life or afterlife or both.

She's not bad to be around.

~Cherri Bomb~

💣🍒💣🍒💣🍒💣🍒💣🍒💣🍒💣🍒💣🍒💣🍒

All done next is probably love letters, most likely...definitely

Stay tuned

Request: Open

#hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #valentino hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel velvette #yandere #yandere hazbin hotel

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ganondoodle · 6 months

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i did a mini rant about it on twitter, but i want, and need, to say this here as well

it is sickening to see all media everywhere parrot israeli propaganda and lies while actively ignoring what they are doing to palestine, but especially so seeing it all being done just as much in germany, it feels even more personal bc shouldnt WE be the ones MOST critical of anyone enacting genocide?? a lesson to take from our awful, shitty, horrific history isnt we cannot criticize jewish people ever at all but that genocide is BAD

its seems like they are afraid of being called antisemitic by some people who dont know shit about whats going on so much so that theyd rather support a full blown genocide of 2 MILLION people, and it just

it scares me

i feel like a stranger in my own home, im avoiding news on radio and TV bc it feels like they are trying to brainwash me to cheer for the oppressors; we were responsible for a 5+ million genocide and now the media and politicians want us to support one of 2 million more??? what the fuck???

"well there are some evil people in this country we have been colonizing for years, guess we are gonna have to wall the entire region off so noone can leave and kill every single human life there, sorry, we had no other choice, dont look at us openly bragging about pulverizing a hospital filled to the brim with people seeking shelter from our 6000 mega bombs we dropped within a few days on this region, then calling palestinians 'children of darkness' and us the 'children of light', delete those posts, then change who we want to blame it on every few minutes bc people are starting to see through our lies, but dont you see? the bad people could have been anywhere, we had to, that hospital wasnt the first and wont be the last tho, so sad uwu"

how insane do you have to be to hear that and go "ah yes, that is very logical and justified and totally not obvious lies, heres a billion of currency and a metric fuckton of weapons to kill them all more efficiently, have fun and good luck"

?????????

if you think supporting palestine and wanting isreal to stop bombing them means you automatically support hamas you have no fucking idea what you are talking about actually and you need to educate yourself right about now, urgently

if you think the acts of one terror organisation represent an entire country and thus everyone living in it deserves to die for it, what the fuck is wrong with you there definitely are some horrible fascist, violent cults in the US, there absolutely are some in germany as well, do they represent the entire population of either countries and thus every single thing alive within its borders needs to die horrificly???

why did i have to sit in school trying not to cry my eyes out looking at fotos of piles of tortured, dead people, visit whats left over from concentration camps with all its looming feeling of doom, not even being able to stomach going into the building itself bc it made me want to vomit just being there and learn about every sickening detail of our awful history when im now here seeing and hearing it all over again, but this time im supposed to cheer for the oppressors?

i am appalled of so many countries being so complicit in supporting yet another genocide, but i am especially ashamed of my own. again.

free palestine.

#ganondoodles talks #free palestine #how is it radical to say i dont want people to die #and no amount of killing will bring anyone back to life #all it does is take more life away and take more life away and take more life away

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kooksbunnnn · 8 months

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Lost cause? 3: Who is it really that you're trying to fight?

Previous chapter

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook× Female!Reader

Genre: Established relationship/ marriage, angst, heartbreak, INFIDELITY. Panic attacks (TRIGGER WARNING). Pregnancy (do not read if this content triggers you) also, 18+, This is purely a work of FICTION please take it as FICTION only. Therapy and psychological conversations. Tears, guilt, regret and hope maybe?

Word count: approx 6.5k

Summary: You always wondered, how would your life turn out to be if you and Jungkook had a baby? So, when you finally conceive and decide to tell your husband, that you are pregnant, you didn't expect him to drop this bomb on you. You never would've thought that the surprise you planned would end up in agonized tears because of the shock your husband brings you.

Authors note: Hello everybody, thankyou for waiting so patiently, I have a long message so I will put it at the end of the chapter, here is chapter 3, I hope you like it. Enjoy! Hehe~

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"These sunflowers just look happier than the roses, don't you think?" you point at the various vases and bouquets as Jungkook holds your hand listening to your confused queries.

"But didn't you find the roses pretty the moment you walked in?" He teases you with faux confusion and you stomp your feet like a toddler. "I am not buying both of them, kook." You pull him by his hand and he chuckles.

You didn't want to buy both of them, they're ridiculously expensive and he won't even let you pay. You tried taking your clutch but he kinda snatched it and shoved it back in your luggage. Although your little playful squabble suddenly turned into a makeout session against the hotel wall, he still successfully hid your wallet.

"Fine, baby, whatever you want." He pecks your cheeks and pulls back, fixing your scarf around your neck. "I'll get the sunflowers wrapped, you go check the gift shop for that snow globe you saw earlier, okay?" You smile and mutter 'okay', happily walking towards the gift shop with your hands in your coat pockets.

You reach the gift shop and ask for the snow globe along with some fridge magnets and keychains for your friends as souvenirs. Jimin and Hobi love magnets, and it was specifically mentioned in the group texts you got the night before your flight.

'HAPPY HONEYMOONING, Y/N AND JUNGKOOK!! Bring souvenirs tho, tc♡'

You get all the stuff you want and turn around to look for your husband. He walks towards you with a smile on his face, Oh, that pretty face, the prettiest amongst the flower lanes.

You give him a big smile when he hands you the sunflower bouquet, and your eyes crinkle looking at the yellow flowers. Looking up at him you find him looking at you with hearts in his eyes. You giggle with pink cheeks and turn towards the counter with your face half hidden by the bouquet.

"How much is it for everything, ma'am?" He asks the cashier when someone comes from inside the flower store and hands Jungkook a bouquet of roses making your eyes widen.

"Jungkook!" You whisper-yell at your husband and he looks handing his card to the lady. "Yes, baby?" He asks with love filled in his voice, You tilt your head towards the red flowers and he follows your gaze moving his neck dramatically and exclaims, elongating his words,

"Ohhhhh, the roses?"

You raise an eyebrow biting your inner cheeks, a smile threatening to appear on your face at his cuteness. "I got them for me, You said you don't want them but you know, I loooove red roses, so I got them for myself. The red makes me feel pretty, you know?" He explains with comically wide eyes and a coy smile, shrugging with the red roses in his arms, and you can't help but laugh and hug him.

He pats your head and kisses your hair, chuckling. The lady hands hands him his card thanking him and gives him the items you both bought in a cloth bag with mountains painted over it.

Heading out of the shop you both hold hands while you walk towards your car. After keeping the stuff in the back seat and handing you both the bouquets, he opens the car door for you but before you get inside he stops you and turns you towards him.

"I love your laugh, you know? and I love it the most when you laugh because of me." He says with his gaze fixed on your scarf while covering it around your neck carefully. He boops your red nose and you playfully scrunch it making him chuckle.

"I love you, kook." You say leaning in to kiss him.

"I love you, too, baby." He smiles against your lips.

------end of flashback------

Your face has a sad smile as your gaze lingers on the newly replaced sunflowers in the vase on your kitchen counter. The memories of the warm winter you spent in Switzerland cuddling with your husband make your heart feel chill and cold. You sip on the herbal tea with bags under your eyes due to the many nights of crying.

You hear the couch in the lobby rustle and your gaze shifts to your sleeping husband. Yes, he slept on the couch not wanting to make you uncomfortable in any way but still being close to your room, since you felt very nauseous the night before.

Your mom asked him to sleep in the guest room but he preferred sleeping near your room in case you needed something.

It has been 4 days since you both decided to give your relationship a chance. Since then you have not talked much about anything other than the therapist's recommendations you got from Namjoon, Taehyung and their wives.

Jin was supposed to return in 2 days from his trip with his wife to her house, his brother-in-law getting engaged. You feel like a lot has happened in the last 5 months and you were so clueless, you felt guilty for not being there for everybody.

Apparently, Yoongi broke up with his girlfriend after 3 weeks of constant arguments. He seems okay, but you never know how a person actually feels from their face now, do you? You don't know what the arguments were about but you just hope he is fine.

Hobi's girlfriend just moved in with him, they wanted to hold a get-together but postponed it saying you were not well since you went to the hospital 2 months ago. Somehow you know that is not the reason. You would also prefer not making anyone awkward with all the tension that you've been going through, You suggested them doing it without you but they refused, stating they want everyone there.

Jungkook has been trying to be silently available and you can notice every one of his efforts, You feel your heart shatter every time you look at him but you try not to cry. You don't succeed.

This was the decision you made, your doctor and therapist both suggested you start couple therapy, soon. Are you ready? No. But would you run away from your problems? Nope.

You have your first combined session in 4 hours and you feel nauseous already. You haven't talked much to Jungkook in the past four days except for thanking him whenever he helps you with stuff like getting up, switching the fan on if you feel hot suddenly, helping you with covering yourself with the comforter, putting your feet in your slippers and many more things.

You both finally decided on a therapist that your doctor and Namjoon, both suggested.

You absolutely feared this, you have no idea what outcome is waiting for you on the other side of the journey you chose. But you have to try, for the baby. Finishing your coffee you straighten up and walk towards the sink.

Suddenly you hear three loud knocks on the door and the mug slips from your hand.

Hearing the mug hit the floor Jungkook jolts up and comes running towards you, "Hey, you okay?" He inquires holding your hands, speaking groggily, still sleepy. His eyes search you for any burns or injury.

"I am fine. It's okay." He hears you and it's like you both realize at the same moment that he has your hands in his, you both lift your heads at the same time. His eyes are swollen and red, with dark circles and slight stubble.

Your eyes lock and you feel a weird feeling in your stomach.

The knocks on the door intensifies while your mom came into the kitchen to take a bottle of water. Your dad and mom are supposed to visit your family doctor for your dad's regular checkup. He has been having fluctuating blood pressure and you feel like its because of you.

Jungkook opens the door and a grumbling Jimin walks in along with a sheepishly smiling Namjoon holding some paper bags. "Get your door bell checked, I rang it four fucking times- oh shit, g-good morning everyone." Both men stop in their tracks and bow awkwardly greeting you and your mother as she giggles greeting them backward.

"It's 10 am, Hyung. Why are you guys banging at the door so early?" Jungkook asks rubbing his left eye and you smile looking at their banter.

You missed this.

Namjoon comes around the kitchen island and gives you a side hug while Jimin and Jungkook just argue about how 10 a.m. is not very early for some people.

"I'll go get ready for your dad's appointment and then come make breakfast until then you kids have juice, I'll be out in 10 mins-" Your mom says while she pats your head but Namjoon interrupts her by telling her they brought some sandwiches you would love according to his wife.

You wanted to accompany your mother to the doctor's appointment but she insisted you focus on the day that awaits you, Her being the most honest person, she told you that today wouldn't be easy, it would be heart-wrenching. You would feel uneasy and maybe you might feel relief unexpectedly. Don't fight it. If the decision you both have made is something you both want to work on, don't fight your feelings.

"Oh! you brought the tomato and cheese sandwiches, yay!" You say a little too loud the whole room goes silent and you feel too aware of your voice, you gulp, chest deflating which namjoon notices. Jungkook and Jimin notice the way you feel smaller after showing a little light on your face.

It's something inside you, that makes you want to withdraw from anything slightly happy. Guilt? Of smiling? You dont want to think about it.

"Yes!" Jimin says cheerfully and Namjoon joins him yelling for him to bring the sandwiches to the table. Your mom smiles at the yelling grown men while Jungkook just watches his hyungs trying to cheer you up. You walk up to the table and join them, lifting your head to look at Jungkook. You wanna tell him to join, but suddenly your face heats up and you can't talk.

He must feel your eyes on him coz he looks at you and your eyes widen when you make eye contact. You can hear the bickering of the two men in the background, You try to speak, and he looks at you with hopeful eyes. hopes that you talk, to make a conversation, anything.

"Jun-" you start

"Dude, the sandwiches are getting soggy, I already put the mustard, come and eat them," Jimin says and you sigh feeling weird again and you notice how Jungkook's eyes shut for a second before he looks away.

"I dont like mustard in sandwiches, hyung. Thanks." He starts to walk away towards the guest bathroom with a sigh and you panic. You dont know what happened but you suddenly blurt out, "My sandwich does not have any sauce."

He stops in his tracks and turns to look at you with wide eyes. Seeing him turn you look down immediately. "You can t-take this, I'll eat the one with mustard."

The room falls silent again and you feel like you could cry, you wanna run away. Thats what your brain tells you to do, you almost get up already thinking of an excuse to run away but then you see your plates being exchanged. "Thankyou." He mutters looking at you, more like, looking at your head facing the table.

You chose this, you need to be strong and have to at least start making full sentenced conversations. You need to make this work, for your baby. It's just not very easy to look at your husband and not think about it- you just don't want to think about it.

The breakfast ended with slight conversations between the guys. At least someone felt comfortable around each other, you, on the other hand? You felt like you made everyone around you awkward and the fact that you could've sensed their pity everytime they made eye contact with you made you want to bury your head in the ground.

You could hear the small talks and the hums they let out, it all settled in your brain, it even made sense but you couldn't move your mouth any more than chewing the sandwich on which you almost choked on due to trying to eat fast and get away.

The breakfast ended with the guys leaving after you excused yourself for the shower you planned 30 minutes later in your head, but still escaped the situation to breathe. Now that you see yourself in the bathroom mirror you watch how your chest rises and the tears burning the rims of your eyes. You didnt want to cry but you also know that crying helps you breathe these days.

You can clearly see how your decision is affecting you, you're miserable. Which is definitely not good for the baby's health.

Would you really be a good example of parents to your baby?

You can't decipher if it's because of the betrayal you feel, the guilt of missing him even though he cheated, the regret of regretting giving him another chance or just the fact that you feel guilty by feeling better around him?

You don't know how to give another chance, your past has been full of abandonment and ignorance towards you making heartbreak a bitter and sour feeling. Immediately forcing your heart to want to hate him.

The guy you loved, still love, are you in love? Of course you are, that's such a stupid question to ask, you love that guy to death. The main question that lingers in your head is, should you be in love with him? Is that correct?

Your doctor adviced you to keep your anxiousness at bay for the sake of the two lives you are now held responsible for. Your therapist advised you to respect the decision you have made but also respect your personal boundaries. Both of the professionals telling you to prioritize both of your mental peace, only then things would work.

The concept of mental health confuses you at this point. Is putting your mental peace as your priority staying away from him and feeling the panic take over you? Or sit around him feeling better for some time but worsen later since you owe this to your past self.

You feel yourself zoning in onto the flowing water from your tap in front of you. Your thoughts are disrupted as you hear your mom knocking on the bathroom door, quickly wipe your tears and taking deep breaths, a sad try to stabilize your voice.

"Y/N baby, I am heading out for the clinic okay?"

"Y-yea mom." You cringe as your voice breaks, silence filling the spaces on both side of the door.

"You know I'm here for you, right?" She says and you want to sob hugging her but you don't want to stress her more. You feel the pain in your throat, the knot making your vision blurry with every second passing by.

"Yea." You reply with a shaky voice expecting her to leave but then you hear her sniff. Your stomach clenches and you feel that you might vomit out the sandwiches from the morning.

"Love you, baby, take care." She says and you murmur the affectionate phrase back. Turning off the tap you hear her retreat to the door and the door closes with a thud. Your mind reels over so many thoughts and you just need some silence from all the noisy voices in your head telling you shit about yourself and your choices, him included. Your mind wants you to answer questions, about feelings and your family's future, the questions only you and your husband sitting and waiting for you in the lobby could solve.

Maybe you can get some help from the therapist you so dread to meet.

___

The ticking of the clock, the beating of your heart, every passing second is making your eyes blind towards the white wallpaper of the waiting room. You wait for your husband sitting on the couch, fiddling with the rings on your ring finger.

The room is decorated with plants and a lot of flower vases on every side table, and the reception desk is unattended since the lady who sweetly smiled at you went inside with a cup of something, you couldn't see clearly though, you guess it's for Dr. Shin.

Out of anxiety, you start fiddling with your rings. You still remember the day he proposed to you, promising you to never leave you alone and always be by your side, no matter what ups and downs.

You never knew the ups and downs would someday lead you to the thought of divorcing him. The ring he wed you with on your wedding day shines along with the promise ring making you force your eyes away.

The session hasn't even begun and you already are on the verge of crying.

The glass door slides open and you watch a middle-aged lady approach the L-shaped couch you were sitting on. She smiles and calls out your name along with his making your heart drop.

"Mr. and Mrs. Jeon?"

This stings but also gives you comfort. It's so fucked up.

You're scared. You don't know what's gonna happen after this session, are you afraid of being alone? You have this war going on inside you between morals and what your heart wants. You feel nauseous, however, you take a deep breath and get up.

When you enter the counsellor's office, it seems way more comfortable than you thought, it gives you more of an art studio vibe, with plants and canvases lying around, paints on a desk along with an almirah full of books and files.

You smile as your eyes meet Dr. Shin, and she smiles back. Her face radiates a professional persona but it is not the kind of personality that could make someone uneasy, it makes you feel safe somehow.

She sips on her coffee and keeps the mug on a coaster, clearing her throat. She was really pretty, sophisticated and she looked really smart. Her husband wouldn't cheat on her, would he? She seems perfect, unlike you with your baggy and red eyes.

Were you ever attractive?

"Would you like some water or tea?" She offers with a smile.

"Some water would be good, thank you." You say and she nods, calling her someone, probably the receptionist for the glass of water.

"Are you here just by yourself today?"

"No-no he should be here any minute, he must be in the traffic, I am so sorry." You frantically start searching your bag for your cellphone to call Jungkook.

"It's okay, we can start the session when he arrives."

"No, please, you don't have to do that, you must be really busy." You say looking at her with an apology on your face. Finally finding your phone, you check your messages and yes, he has texted you about being stuck in traffic.

"He is on his way, in traffic." You say to which she nods and mutters a 'It's okay'. She resumes sipping her coffee while noting down your details in her notes. While she scribbles your head can't help but think about certain scenarios as to why Jungkook is late.

You feel anxiety fill your nerves, you clench your fists tightly at the thought and shake your head slightly. You don't notice but Dr. Shin notices how you start to shake your leg, so she starts a conversation putting her notepad down.

"Do you paint, Mrs. Jeon?"

"Please, it's just Y/N and yes, sometimes." You say straightening your back, your baby belly very visible.

She opens her mouth to say something but gets interrupted by the receptionist knocking on the door. Dr. Shin lets her in and she informs her that Jungkook arrived, asking if she should send him in.

She nods and the receptionist leaves.

"You know the best thing about art is that when you understand it, you can fix a mistake in a painting as many times as you want. Being able to do good art doesn't mean you wouldn't make mistakes, but you could fix them at any time you want. The only thing that matters is do you still want the results you wanted before you started to paint or will the excess anxiety to finish the art piece make it worse?" She says and you feel confused, before you could ask if she meant what you think she meant, Jungkook enters.

He is wearing a black button-up tucked in his pants along with checkered trousers, a black blazer in his hand and his black hair slicked back. He had an important meeting today and you think he came directly from work. He looks good too and you hate that you feel that way.

"Good afternoon doctor, I am sorry I got late, I got stuck with a client and then the traffic, I am really sorry." He bows apologetically and quickly takes a seat beside you. You look at him and he mouths an 'I am sorry' with beads of sweat on his temples. You smile slightly and nod to tell him it's okay.

"It's okay Mr. Jeon, you're just 4 mins late." She chuckles and picks up her notepad and pen.

"Shall we start?" You both nod in unision.

"So, I wanna assure you that this is a safe space and the information told or discussed here would not be disclosed unless there are any legal or medical emergencies which we hope wouldn't happen. Okay?" You squeeze your fists shut, you don't even want to think of all that. You notice how his Adam's apple bobs as he gulps in nervousness.

"Shall we start?" She asks and you both nod in unison.

"Mr and Mrs Jeon, how long have you known each other?"

"6 years"

"6 years." Dr. shin nods at your answers.

"..and how did you two meet?"

"We met through mutual friends, Taehyung, his best friend, he was her roommate's boyfriend at that time." You explain.

"I wouldn't call that boyfriend." He whispers and you smile huffing a breath.

"Yeah, they were in a 'situationship'." You air-quote the word with one hand and smile, the other hand tracing the water ring, your glass is forming around it.

"They used to wanna hang out with someone because she had a strict aunt as a guardian. So we spent time at Taehyung's place, Y/N used to live with her too, at her aunt's place, for the last year of her graduation." He says, smiling slightly at the memories of you creating excuses for your friend.

"We could simply say, they ended their relationship soon after graduating, she started her Ph.D., moved out and we still remained friends." You point your thumb towards him and then you.

"After some months we started dating when he asked me out.." your eyes are still zoned in on the glass while Jungkook stares at your face.

Clearing your throat you give a small smile to the therapist and through a sniffle you speak again, "After 3 years of dating we finally decided to get married. We got married in his home town, Busan..."

You pause, your heart aching at the irony of you taking the vows in Busan, the same place where your husband spit on your 5 year-long relationship. You feel tears rising in your eyes but you blink them away, ears getting hotter by the second.

"..And then I broke my promises." He nods slowly, as if owning up to his acts, eyes glossy and his Adams apple bobbing trying not to cry.

You hear him say it and you feel nauseous. Yes, he did, and now you're sitting here in front of a therapist. Back to square one.

"Yes." you whisper without raising your head, nodding. A lone tear slipping through your eyes.

The only thing you could hear after you said this was Dr. Shin's pen scribbling something in her pad, the clock ticking and the aquarium motor producing bubbles.

There was an aquarium in the room?

You feel Jungkook's gaze on you, but you don't dare lift your head.

"Mr. And Mrs Jeon.." Your therapist keeps her pad down and looks at you, making you both lift your heads and pay attention to her. "..this is your first session, so I would only talk about things you are comfortable with, we'll take things according to the pace you both want, but if you want to make things work I would suggest you be honest and open with me, it might make you feel vulnerable and 'too exposed'." she emphasizes on her last words and continues, "It would be hard considering you both have a lot going on but trust me it would definitely be better than how it is now."

You both listen to her carefully, slightly nodding your head whenever she adds a question mark in her statements.

"Before I address the situation I would like to ask you if you are comfortable in continuing this relationship?" she asks and he nods but you feel hesitant. There it was, the question that you know the answer to but still feel weird to say out loud. Your husband cheated on you, you can't change that. You have a life growing inside you, yours and Jungkook's flesh and blood, you can't change that. You decided on never giving cheaters a chance but why do you want to now?

Do you think it would be good for the baby? Would it be good for him? For you? You love him, but what about the morals you promised you would never give up on? Would love be worthy enough to let go of the beliefs you have?

"Mrs. Jeon? It's okay if you're still a little skeptical, you can take your time-"

"No ma'am, I am sure. I wanna try again." You say it out loud, for your baby's sake, at least that's what you want to believe. Jungkook breathes a relieved sigh and you look at him at the same time he does. He raises his eyebrows hesitantly trying to ask if you are sure, you nod softly making him give you a grateful smile.

"Its good to know that both of you are on the same page. Now, I would like to hear what caused this distance.."

As you let it out of you, how the last 5 months changed the trajectory of your life, the 5 years of your relationship, the trust, the bond, love, your self-esteem, your and his moral values, both of your belief systems, the trust on each other, the trust on yourselves, the honesty, the loyalty all bruised up and on the ground. What were you fighting? Each other? Society?

Maybe it's you who you're fighting.

You told Dr. Shin how you have faced this many times in your life, She nodded and explained to you how certain incidents affect our brains and the way we think, changing the way we live, think and even breathe.

She explained how going through this would be tough for both of you, considering the pregnancy and the emotions you and your husband are feeling. She explained how your mind should be made up before going through with this because sometimes withdrawing from therapy or quitting in the middle of the process or sometimes going with it without a made-up mind might cause mental problems and since you were with a baby, you should be extra careful. You both try to assure her that you will make sure this goes well.

You cried looking away from him while you told the events that happened, he sobbed agreeing to them. He cried covering his face while cursing himself for what he did to your relationship and the happy family you both deserved. You both cried as she wrote and noted in her notepad. In the end, you reached out to hold his hand with tears running down your faces, admitting how you want to give your family a chance.

With red eyes and shaky footsteps, you both leave the office. You get in the car since you've been taking cabs ever since you started showing. The car feels oddly comforting, the same fragrance mixed with the leather seat cover smell, the car having water bottles on each side, just like a few months ago. He used to keep them in the car just in case you felt car sick like that road trip in the hills where you were nauseous the whole time.

The bottle beside you looked new since it was sealed so you couldn't help but think that he bought them today, maybe for you. You wanted to ask him but before you could say you felt the soup and the tofu stew you had in lunch come up your throat.

"Stop the car, Jungkoo- f-fuck stop the car. Pull over!"

Jungkook pulls over to the side and opens his side of the door to runs over to your side, he holds your hair up as you vomit your food and feelings out. You have been feeling uneasy ever since you left your apartment for the clinic.

'You might feel physical changes as well, Mrs Jeon. You may feel everything at extremes, mood swings, food cravings, agitation, maybe sexual desire, frustration, or morning sickness might hit you at any time, Basically the anxiety is not gonna help you with the hormones and staying away from your husband might also not do any good. So I would suggest you be strong and try to get through this.'

You remember Dr. Shin's words coughing as your throat feels sore, your stomach aching from the pressure you put in puking. When you're done, Jungkook opens up a bottle of water for you as you tilt your head towards the seat resting it there. He helps you drink and wash your face. Feeling better you look up at Jungkook who makes sure your breathing is better and even now.

"Jungkook..?"

"Hm?"

"Are those new bottles?"

"Huh? Ye-yeah. I bought them on the way to work this morning knowing you get car sick often and n-now...because of your nausea, I just wanted to be sure. There's more in the back, do you want? Wait-"

He takes a step back to walk to the back seat or the trunk you don't get to know where because you hold his wrist freezeing him in his steps. You notice how he tenses so you hesitantly let go of it.

"I-I'm sorry, I just, I don't need it right now I feel better." He nods when you look down retracting your hand, you smile slightly at him and turn back in your seat. He comes up and closes your door helping you pull your seatbelt so that you can plug it in yourself, not wanting to make you feel weird by getting close.

Sitting back in the car, you expect him to drive but he doesn't. Instead, he takes your hand slightly turning in his seat. He looks at you with glossy eyes making yours widen.

"Y/n, If I need to apologize my whole life and still you dont feel comfortable with me?.." he breathes shakily holding your hand tighter, its killing him to say this but he needs you to know this.

"You can still leave me, I don't deserve to be forgiven, I know. I betrayed you, I don't deserve you and her.." he almost sobs and you feel tears rise in your eyes as he mentions your daughter as well. Sometimes seeing how sure he is about a daughter makes you forget how you still don't know the gender and it's just both of your assumptions.

One hand in his and the other one on your tummy you listen to him, "You are giving me another chance to live Y/N, this means so much to me, by trying again and giving us a chance, you are giving me another life. You don't know how much it means to me, I-I am so grateful for having you in my life but.." he breathes sharply and his hands start to shake.

"You can still leave if you wish, I love you. I want you to be happy. He sniffs and you notice his nose getting red. "Being a normal human I would prefer it would be with me but.." he chuckles sadly tears falling down his cheeks, "I would let you go if you ever feel like you don't want this."

He knows that statement is risky, he might make you think that he is having second thoughts but when he sees your lips in a small ssmile he feel like you got the message.

You squeeze his hand and mutter, "I know kook, but we're gonna make it, for everybody in this car, you her and me." You chuckle as your tears fall as well.

Jungkook holds in a whimper sniffling and then he nods. You feel slightly lighter after today. Not completely okay but still a little better and hopeful. You are gonna get through this, you both are gonna be strong. Your child will be okay, he will be okay, your relationship and family will be okay.

Everything would be okay.

Reaching home, You take a shower wanting to clean the sweat and the slight vomit smell you have on you. You brush your teeth and head out to have dinner that your mom cooked. You told her that you would talk to her after your shower about the day you had.

You sit at the table and ask your parents how their appointment went, She tells you how your dad needs his medicines changed, of slightly lesser power and doze. You tell your dad to take care while he drinks his soup for better blood pressure. You all wait for Jungkook to join while having light conversations while you tell your dad a slightly less stressful version of the session.

Jungkook joins you on the table with wet hair, a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants. His body wash smell hits your nose comforting you just like you remember. You don't question your feelings, something was pulling you back but you still decide to find comfort in your husband's presence.

After Dinner, Jungkook decides that he will do the dishes and clean up, your dad goes to sleep after wishing you and your baby good night. Your mom discussed the session with you encouraging you to stay strong, making sure that you wanna go through this. You smile and assure her that this is your and his choice. You hug her goodnight when she finally decides to sleep after Jungkook refuses her help with the cleanup for the second time.

Sitting in the lobby as you watch him clean up the kitchen, like old times. Date nights with him were generally filled with laughter and kisses, cleaning and cooking, bickering over recipe ingredients and sometimes giving up and ordering takeouts. You smile at the memoriesthinking, would things ever be like they were? Would they be better or would they worsen?

Helping you get into your bed, Jungkook places two bottles of water, a coaster and a glass which was filled with water and covered with a lid. He plugs your phone into your charger, your AirPods next to it. He tells you to call him if you feel any type of uneasiness but still places a small bin if it gets too late to run to the washroom or call for him. You smile at his efforts, never wanting this feeling to end, the way you feel.

Comfort.

"Good night Y/N.", he says looking into your eyes, you can smell his body wash as he kneels in front of you, holding your hands gently. He tells you things like call me if you need something, again. But..

It's weird, you can't focus. Somehow the little circles his thumb creates on your palm are distracting you. Looking up at you he notices how you zoned out so he calls your name softly, flicking his wet hair.

Fuck, why are you feeling like this? You've seen him with wet hair so many times and why is hair still damp?!

Since you were first bullied in high school, you generally question your instincts and always do things rationally. But this time, you don't know why your hand unconsciously reaches his hair and cards through it. Call it muscle memory? but you both freeze when your hand rests on the back of his head, his wet locks in between your fingers.

Never breaking eye contact you do what you never thought you would in the past 4 months. Jungkook gasps with eyes wide as you just look at him like it's something you commonly do.

Did you just pull his hair?

He still looks at you confused and when you do it again with a tighter grip this time, he groans with his eyes shut. The sound he makes helps you realize what you just did and immediately withdraw your hand.

"Um..are you okay?" He asks, voice low and soft but with wide eyes.

"Yeah, just sleepy." You quickly say cover yourself with your duvet, lying down immediately, not too fast because it is physically not possible for you, but you still try hiding.

"O-okay. Good night." He awkwardly gets up and leaves the room switching off the lights. Closing the door just enough to let you have privacy, not locking it for emergency purposes. As soon as he leaves, you search for the reasons of why you might be feeling this way.

You type in the search bar, your friends who have had their babies sometimes mentioned about this but..

Search: Can you feel aroused during pregnancy?

Eyes wide you scoff at the results, gritting your teeth you feel frustrated. This is not how you should feel about him, you decided to try again but this is not right. Right?

Top result: It is a common symptom to feel sexually aroused in the late first trimester and the second trimester.

Another result: You might feel a little sexually heightened during your pregnancy.

Another click: You might feel your clitoris and labia are sensitive making you feel aroused which might be healthy too, so we would suggest you not miss this opportunity to have good orgasms-

You read on your phone with wide eyes and grit your teeth. Switching your phone off and throwing it to your bedside, you snuggle in under the covers, fists clenched. The touch of his damp hair still lingering on your hand and you stomp your feet under the duvet, irritated. Dr Shin was right. If you wanted to get through this, you need to be strong.

Very strong.

-------------------------------------------------------

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Authors note: Hey everyone, I hope you all liked the chapter🦋 I would like to apologize again, I am sorry for the late update, I was really held up between my internship and assignments, I really tried to write a good chapter and I really hope it was good and maybe worth the wait? 👉👈

Um, also, it has been one year since I started writting on this blog so, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY and a BIG THANKYOU ALONG WITH WARM AND TIGHT HUGS to all my readers who love my stories and give me the motivation to keep writing. I love you all so much🫶 Thank you for waiting so patiently, I will try and be better next time, hehe~

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ikkosu · 1 month

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prowl prowl prowl prowl prowl prowl

read ur earthspark bumblebee fic and I loved it so much u don’t understand how much I love him literally kicking my feet and giggling rn anyways back to prowl. I want to have that man emotionally and a little physically broken and knocked down and he just can’t really go on anymore and then reader pulls him to their lap and hugs and comforts him and he starts crying and sobbing and shit and it’s just very fluffy and that’s when his possessiveness starts anyways this is just a very long ramble and braindump byee

a/n : 😭😭 HELLO???? YOU CSANBT JUST DROP A BOMB AT END THEN LEAVE LIKE ITS NOTHING???? WDYM POSESEIVE??? 🤨🤨🤨🤨 CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR . Ohhh but writing angst with prowl is literally the best tho

THEN, it hit him.

Prowl had expected it, ammassing data from the miniscule furrow of brows, tightening of the lips and shift of stance. Prowl watches. He scrutinizes. He thinks. A one, two, three step — he could calculate the next move.

But wasn't quick enough to register the pain.

He grunts as his helm jerks to the side. A momentum so vehement he staggered off his balance, breaking the rigidity composed of a cold, unflinching face. Now, he's reduced to leaning against the wall, optics a little wide as he took in the sequence.

Like a dam had been spooled, a breach of his calculations, Prowl is stoned cold, left wide open and vulnerable. Jazz would know. The tactician wasnt much good of a fighter.

Warmth trickled from his nose. It tasted bitter on his lips, tangy and acrid, as it dribbles down his chin and plinked onto the ground. He steadied his breath. His digits dig into the wall.

Compose yourself, Prowl.

"Bastard!"

—and he feels a pede hard against his abdomen. A bristle of pain blossomed. First, pinpricks sizzled then it drew every breath from his intake — and out into a grunt. Ivory plating chafes the mettalic floor, curating sparks that skid in tandem of his fall.

Such an open commotion deemed a kind of consequence. Almost immediately, voices bristle and clamour around the base. Comms clicked online. Habsuite door swishes open and out dawdled, droopy, sleep-lulled optics, once irritated by the interruption, now widened in alarm at the sight.

"That's enough." Someone had barked.

Prowl was much too lethargic to care, who. While he gathered himself, pedes scamper, a muffled distance away, not to him but a pitter patter towards the raved and seething bot. He was yelling obscenities.

Prowl tries not to care.

He ignores how it churns his spark a little, like a knife plunged into his chassis and twisting. Servos were quick to furl around the limbs and plating, holding the bot back. They tow him away to the nearest med-bay, he assumed. Struggle was evident.

What was his name? Vox? Vernheim? Vercul? He can't recall. Was it worth remembering? No. Perhaps, it wasn't. Another record he could pass off as insubordinate.

Prowl pressed his helm against the cold, metal floor.

It wasn't worth the risk.

Often, he had sought warmth from the cold, unfurling his beckon while what returned is repugnance. Like an albatross it curled around his neck, strangling the life out of him. You can't be burnt from something already doused of its flames. It was a purpose he tries to upholster, for himself alone and for the better good.

He tuned out the noise. Tuned out the wails of the bot that grew louder and louder as he mourned for his friend — or, he supposed, someone more.

Why should it matter to him?

He lifts his helm a little, high enough to regard the puddle of energon on the floor but low enough not to strain his neck.

Prowl curls out a digit and pressed it against the trickling wound. It coats the ivory tip mauve and another drop rolled from his finger and down where a visage rippled from the puddle. His face bared back. Blue optics, luminiscent and pure and the other, a black-swarthy hole, barren, was his other eye.

Is that how he always looked like? Exhausted? Haggard? The lines of his face, withdrawn and eyes, vacant? If he knew what his actions would have led to, would he have done the same thing as he did? A sharp pain broiled center of his abdomen, right where the pede had landed it's blow.

Prowl swallowed thickly.

Nobody came to him.

"Oh, my god. Prowl?"

He blinks out of his stupor. He's not looking at you, he realizes. His optics were roosted to the ground. To the floor. Then, slowly it trailed upwards to meet your eyes.

Soft, was what he thought as you stood before him in your sleeping garment, hair a mussed up tousle and eyes, glassy. Concern etched the seams of your face, lips frowning.

Irritation fizzles his spark. You should be sleeping. Not joining the myriad of foolish endeavors that had curated prior. But here you are, clutching your shirt, a face so expressive, envy posed a threat to his thoughts.

"Your nose is bleeding!" Your hands finds his shoulder.

Normally, he would dismiss you for being too invasive of his personal space. The difference between of just enough and overbearing isn't clear on your terms — but your voice was frantic. It wavered. He's not sure what to do with himself if it cracked any more.

"I know." He said calmly.

You shake your head in disbelief, now kneeling on the ground. You tugged him closer and every word that you uttered constricted your throat in pain. The pain you felt for him.

" Oh, Prowl. Prowl. Oh, god." Your voice was hushed, coaxing him like he was a child. "Why'd they leave you like this?"

He grits teeth. "Because they knew I'd be fine, alone if I were. And, I am. Now go to sleep. It's late. You have an early shift tommorow. Not to mention, three reports due Friday."

"You're not fine!"

"I am." He clipped.

"You're bleeding!"

"Don't test my patience—"

"You know, you aren't fine! " You rasped. "Stop denying this. Stop denying everything and be gentle with yourself for once!"

You cup his cheek. He bristled at the touch.

Go. Go to sleep. He wants to say. But it's proven difficult by the lump of rocks constricting his throat. He fears that if he uttered a single word — he won't be able to compose himself after, glass breaking at a mere swing.

"You're fragile enough, as is." You said softly. "Stop pushing yourself. Stop pretending. If not for me then...at least for your own good...take care of yourself."

Then, you cradled his helm and pull it against your chest, the possible thought of blood smearing your shirt was discarded.

The fabric nestled his face. It was soft and warm. The fragrance of flowers flared his nose. You smelled nice. Nice like spring. Nice like the morning light that spools through the blinds. When was the last time he was ever held like this?

Prowl tries to steady his thoughts.

"Let me go." He whispered but made no motion to move. His shoulders shook, his servos clamped up into a fist. He feels small. Like a toddler seething with an inner tantrum, tears and snot blotting their itty bitty faces.

You held him tighter. "I won't leave you. Not like this. Not like they did."

"I'm not asking." He bites back. Cool liquid prickles his optics. It's dried by your shirt. Whether or not you felt it, you don't say

"And, I'm not stating an opinion, either." You said, a soothing hand on his back. He's on the ledge, teetering over a cliff he can't climb back up lest he falls.

"A demand goes both ways, Prowl. I'm tired of seeing you like this. Everyday, where you're alone. Cooped up in that room and nobody would spare a glance—"

Your voice wavers.

Prowl buries his face deeper into your warmth. His servo clutched your waist, it was soft to the touch, pulling you close. He wanted to push you. Treat you like how he treats everyone else, a dynamic he often pondered if it was suitable enough for your sanity. But he knew, if ever the day he went too far and you would walk away, the cold shoulder prominent— he's never going to let you go.

"— Let me take care of you, please."

He still hear the voices. The whispers. The resentment. Everything vile that bore a mark on his stature. They purged his mind thoughtless, ushered him to a place, no longer where grief was present but an empty, desolate place where he's unable to escape from it so.

You’re never going to leave him.

And, he’ll ensure in many more ways than one you’re ever going to.

#transformers #maccadam #transformers x reader #transformers idw #prowl x reader #idw prowl

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joesanrio · 10 months

Note

Hey girl, can I have a Jey uso fic. Like you’re Paul’s daughter and like completely off limits. But he ignores that. It doesn’t have to be exactly like that, that was just the vibe. Lots of smut tho. Only if you’re comfortable. Thank you boo

Hey!!! Omg- I love this bcs I’ve been wanting to write abt Jey for a good while!! 🩷 I hope I didn’t disappoint.

Nobody will know | J.U

Summary: Being the daughter of Paul Heyman comes with its perks, but everyone knows that despite their attraction to you they could never have you…except him.

Pairings: Jey Uso x fem!reader || non-established relationship

Warnings: Secret relationship, teasing, closet!smut, nipple play, oral (m. recieves), asskink!jey, face grabbing, dom!jey, sub!reader, multiple orgasms, p in v (unprotected), creampies, L bombs, etc.

Word count: 2012

Ratings: Smut | 18+

———————————————————

“What’s up little miss untouchable?” Jey asked as he entered the locker room, as much as I pretended to hate the nickname, it always sounded so good coming from him. I smile before rolling my eyes as he sat down on the couch beside me, “I’m fine. Just got done filming.” I say avoiding his gaze. He doesn’t speak, instead he stares at me without even caring about how many people are in the room waiting for his acknowledgement. “You’re riding with me back to the hotel, right?” His voice entering my ears in a low whisper, I nod as he pulls away to talk to the other guys in the room.

Everyone knew that due to my dad’s overbearing presence that I was off-limits, barely getting to hang out with the other stars especially the male ones. Jey was different though; he and my father had this false sense of trust with each other which made him the only person who could even get a hug from me. But as much as my dad is protective, he’s also naïve to what goes on around him.

“What’s going on with you and Jey?” Natalya asked as I walked down the hall, my neck whipped back quickly as she startled me, “Oh my gosh Nattie! Nothing.” I gasp as her eyebrow rises with an unbelievable expression. “Nothing; is like a simple ‘Hey’ not a nickname and whispering in ear.” She says looking me up and down as I roll my eyes. “Okay! Maybe a little something but you know how my dad is… so it’s always nothing.” I say giving her a stern look as my dad walks down the hall with Roman. “Mm’kay whatever you say.” She turns back around when she spots my father making his way towards us, giving me a quick hug and leaving.

---

“You look gorgeous.” His voice muffled into my neck before sucking a small hickies onto my throat, my head falls back against the wall before my arms wrap around his shoulders. Pulling him closer his sultry breath falls onto my collarbones once his now kisses go farther down, placing a gentle kiss above my cleavage as his hands hold my waist tightly. “S’good.” I moan out softly while his lips are now forming into a smirk on my soft skin, my hands grabbing the hair on the nape of his neck to pull him up. Jey’s lips always fit perfect with mine, the taste of his cherry ChapStick now on my plump lips once his teeth pull softly at my bottom lip.

A loud knock on the door causes us to separate, “I’m on a call, give me a sec.” Jey calls out as his thumb rubs my smeared gloss from the side of my mouth and pecks a quick kiss onto my lips. “My bad, I’ll come back later then.” I hear Kevin from the other side of the door before his footsteps are heard leaving from the door and down the hall. Looking Jey up and down as his print is now visible in his sweats, “We got to go.” I say as fix his hair that’s ruffled up from my grasp.

Leaving the room, the cool air hits my warmed body. “Damn.” Jey says as he sees me in the new lighting while we walk to the parking lot to leave, looking over at him confused he says nothing but almost hits the wall as he admires my face. “Stop being silly and let’s go.” I say as his gaze leaves my eyes to fall onto my now wet and plumped lips, “Want to go back?” He stops and juts his head back towards the hallway. “Jey! Cut it out.” I giggle as he continues walking and opens the door that leads outside.

“So nice.” I say as we walked up onto his rental car, he pops the trunk before putting his luggage in first. He smiles before grabbing my suitcase and placing it in the back, I walk to the passenger door as he unlocks the car, and we get in. “Oh my gosh. It’s so pretty!” I exclaim as I admire the interior, but Jey’s too busy admiring me. “You’re pretty.” He smirks as I look at him unamused while he starts the car.

I can’t help but smile as we finally leave the arena, Jey takes no time as his hand is now resting on my thigh. I stare down at his huge hand before it moves further between my thighs, popping his hand he pulls it back to rest above. “You need to focus on driving.” I scold as his fingers rub little shapes onto my bare leg, “I got this.” He says as he gives me a quick look before focusing back on the road.

---

Jey’s lips fall onto mine as his kisses make my skin burn in lust, his large hands kneed into my waist as he hovers above me. My arms immediately wrapping around his shoulders to pull him down further on my body, his hips grinding eagerly into mine. “More.” I muffle into his now plumped lips, his eyes opening to look at my needy expression. He pulls away from the kiss to remove his shirt, which I follow suit as my red lace bra is on display. Jey bites his lips as his hand cups one of my breasts and his thumb rubbing over my nipple, I moan out softly at his delicate touch.

“I thought you didn’t like lace?” He questions as he lays back in between my thighs to get closer to my breast, “I never said that.” I gasp as his tongue licks down from my collarbone to my sternum. His smirk felt along my chest, as he pulled my bra to the side to suck onto my hardened nipple. Jey’s other hand coming up to play with the other, “Fuck...” I moaned out as his teeth pulled at sensitive bud. His tongue not far behind to soothe the area, he then switches to the other side.

My hands wanting to grab onto something as Jey pleases me, I pull his face up from my chest to kiss him. “You’re so sensitive.” Jey’s lips muffle against mine as I moan into the kiss while my hands now fall onto his biceps. His hips rocking against my core, making my back arch into his hold when his hand leaves from my breast to my waist. “Just fuck me already.” I whine before biting onto his bottom lip, causing a quick slap to make contact with my thigh.

“Fine, but you gotta do all the work since you have no patience.” He said pulling away from the kiss and leaning back onto his knees. A pout forming on my lips as I lift my hips to remove my shorts that I’ve yet to take off, “Fix your face.” Jey says grabbing my chin roughly, making the wet patch on my matching red panties darker. He lets go of my chin before pulling at the strings of his sweats, looking up at him as he pulls his large cock from the restraints of his pants.

We repositioned ourselves, Jey laid back on the pillows with his hands behind his head, his cock standing up as his tip glistens in the dim light. In between his legs, I lean forwards and I wrap my hands around the base of his large cock. Drooling at the sight of the precum leaking from his tip and the small twitches of his cock when I run my finger over the slit. He groans deeply as my lips wrap around the tip, the salty taste of the precum collecting on my tongue as he throws his head back in a bliss. “You’re so big.” I moan before licking from the bottom of the base to the top of his tip, his hands moving from behind his head to fist my hair into a ponytail.

“Put in your mouth baby.” He moans as I relax my jaw to take as much of him into my mouth as possible while I use my hands for the rest. His hips rolling up into my mouth before his tip pushes into my throat, his hips faltering at the tightness. “You like that?” I moan as I pull away from his cock as his eyes close and he nods. “Oh! You’re doing so good!” He praises me as I suck on his tip, his hands pushing my head further down his cock. Feeling his twitch in my mouth, his hips thrusting faster, I hollow my cheeks as he lets out a loud moan.

“Take it Baby, oh fuck- Yeah Just take it.” He moans as he holds my head down while his cum coats the back of my throat. His hands falling from my hair as his head is thrown back onto the pillows with his eyes closed, pulling away from him slowly I swallow the cum. “Swallowed it?” He says deeply as his eyes open for a slight moment when I stick my tongue out for him. “Good girl. Now come ride me.” He speaks breathlessly, as I smile and crawl onto his lap.

Sitting on his lap, the feeling of his warm, wet cock in between my folds as I roll my hips slowly on Jey’s. Moaning out quietly as my damp panties add to the pressure of my clit, “Such a cock slut.” He groans as his hands hold onto my waist. I bite my lip as I grind harder against him, before lifting my hips to pull my panties to the side. Jey’s eyes immediately falling to my glistening folds as the wet sounds of our arousal fills the room, “I love it so much.” I moan before grabbing Jey’s cock to insert into my entrance slowly.

Filling me up as I slide down his cock, my hands pressed against his tattooed chest. “Shit, your pussy is so tight.” He moans as I bottom out onto his cock, “Only for you.” I gasp breathlessly as I wait to adjust to his size. His hands holding on my waist and rubbing as I begin to bounce, “There you go, look at you.” Jey moans as his eyes look up into mine. I toss my head back as my breast bounce in front of me, the soft sounds of my ass slapping back down onto his hips filled the room. Leaning down to capture his lips, his hands moving into the curve of my back.

“You smell amazing.” He smiles on my lips before his tongue enters my mouth once he places small smacks on my ass. Gleaming at his compliment, riding him faster, “You’re always so sweet to me.” I say as kiss his neck. His breathy moans leaving his mouth as I begin to suck a hickey on his neck, pulling away to admire the darkening bruise. His hands now helping me bounce on him, “Oh- I’m gonna cum!” I squeal as Jey’s hips drill up into my core.

His hip randomly stops, making me whine out in disappointment. “You’re going to cum- cut it out.” He flips us over, his cock running in between my folds before enters back in my entrance. Almost cumming immediately, he pounds into me mercifully, “S’good!” I moan out as Jey’s hand grabs my face gently to have me look at him.

“So desperate.” He smirks as I clench onto his cock, “Oh you’re going to cum? Want to cum on my cock.” Jey squishes my face as my eyes are fluttering shut, his thrust never faltering as I cream onto his cock with a shaking orgasm.

“Damn girl.” He smirks before placing a rough kiss onto my lips, he holds my hips down as he fills my core up with his warm cum. “I love you.” I gasp as his fingers find their way to my clit and rubbing small circles, “I love you more baby.” He smiles as we calm down from our intense orgasms.

#jey uso #joshua fatu #jey uso smut #jey uso one shot #jey uso x y/n #jey uso fluff #joshua fatu smut #the usos #uso x Reader #uso smut #wwe superstars #wwe smackdown #jey uso fic #jey uso request #joesanrio

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polarspaz · 8 months

Note

Okay, I'm sorry for bombing you with questions about InfectedRE AU so much (it will happen again), but I genuinely enjoy it so much and I want to know as much as possible.

With that said tho, I'm interested in Leon's living situation when he starts living at the base. Is he allowed out? You already showed that Ashley made him some clothes for the outside, but I kinda find it hard to believe that he would be allowed out, or at least not without someone to keep an eye on him.

And what about after the "cure" is made? (First of all, when is it even made? How long did it take Luis to make it?) Is he allowed to to move out or still forced to live at the base? Will he at least be allowed to go outside or is that also off limits because of the fact he can turn back at any point if his heart rate spikes up?

LOL it's okay! I say I write a massive wall of text...

-So Leon lives in an old USA base built in the deep wilderness of Alaska. It's about a full 24 hour drive to the nearest town, and the property is fully fenced in and plastered with DO NOT ENTER signs. So Leon is allowed outside if the coast is clear.

-Leon is not allowed anywhere in public. The military take him where they need him for missions and send him right back to the lab when the jobs done. He is escorted the entire time.

-Leon wears the disguise Ashley made for him when he's being transported between military bases. While his size makes him stand out, the outfit at least covers him completely from a lot of wandering eyes. ((Better for people to see a weird tall guy in a coat than a monster bug man.))

-Okay, now the cure took Luis at least a year 1/2 make. He wanted to make damn sure that he didn't accidently make Leon's situation any worse and tested the formula so much that Rebecca herself was starting to get worried. ((Luis is a perfectionist and still very hard on himself since his stint in Los Illuminados and Umbrella.))

-In beginning Leon isn't allowed out of base even with the drug. But over time the drug becomes more effective. Essentially the Plaga finally gets in sync with Leon's habits ((and insane fucking lifestyle)) and now knows when it's okay to relax and when it's time to kick ass.

-Seeing the improvement, the government allows Leon to be out in public, but he also must always have a handler. ((Handlers include Luis, Carlos, and the other soldiers that live with him in the lab like Tex.))

-While he's still forced to live in the Alaskan base, Leon honestly doesn't mind, as the place has become his home and he actually enjoys his life with the people there. In a way, they feel weirdly like family. ((Because I am big sap and love found family and happy endings))

#scuse me while I vomit this massive wave of usless information #infectionre au #leon kennedy #shoutout to the poor plaga that infected Leon #Poor thing is hanging on for dear life

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lover-of-mine · 7 months

Text

Hi, hi, hello, I am here once again to sound absolutely insane while arguing something buddie, this time from Buck's side because I haven't done one on him in a while. I think this is a Buck needs to choose defense, but who knows really ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Okay, I've talked about this before, but Oliver is a really big guy, he's taller than the rest of the cast so we don't see Buck looking up a whole lot. In conversations where Buck would be in a more vulnerable position, they put all of the involved sitting down so they are on the same eye level, when he tells Abby about the catfish guy, when he talks to Maddie after the bombing, when he talks to Maddie after Red dies, when he finds out about Daniel, when he talks to Maddie after the thing with Jonah, when he talks to Bobby after the lightning.

Or they're both standing up, when he talks to Bobby before he quits before the tsunami, when he talks to Bobby after the lawsuit, when he tells Bobby he is one of the most important people in his life, when he tells Eddie about the fight with his parents, when he talks to Bobby after the crane, when he’s helping Eddie fix the walls (as I was typing this I noticed the trend of having him sitting down with Maddie and standing up with Bobby, which makes sense considering how much shorter than Oliver Jennifer is and how Oliver and Peter are just a few inches apart).

Or they have Buck being the only one standing up, or just at a higher level, so that he has the high ground in sense, when he tells the 118 about the thing with Daniel, when he yells at his parents, when he talks to Maddie after he messes up with Red, when he breaks up with Taylor, but it is a trend to not have him look up at people. (All of these have more examples, I just didn't feel like screenshotting every major Buck scene lol)

People he does look up to in vulnerable moments, moments actually end up leading to a fight? Ali and Taylor. He looks up at Ali when she's talking about not understanding what the job means and when he tells Taylor he kissed someone else. So he looks up at his love interests. Before a fight, but still looking up. Ali is the most intense example I could find in my quick skimming of the scenes I could think of, but since Taylor is standing up and he's sitting down, it counts.

This does nothing for my point but I do want to point it out. He looks up at Eddie before the confrontation at the gym lol. Sure that ends with Buck towering over Eddie, but it starts with him looking up at him and fits the trend (or actually starts it? Considering this happens before Ali or Taylor lol).

I could be wrong here, maybe there are other moments where he's looking up and I just can't think of them right now, but Eddie is pretty much the only person he consistently looks up to, when he clears with Bobby for Chris to stay at the station (not about him but he's looking up), the Hildy incident (this one is just funny but it happens), when he tells Eddie it would’ve been better if he had been shot, after Chim leaves to look for Maddie, after he dies. And it's interesting to have those last two scenes because he's going to Eddie for advice and they decided to literally have him look up at Eddie.

Conversations with Eddie fit all types of categories when it comes to the two of them because they are best friends, just focus on these ones tho (you can read this for thoughts on framing in multiple scenes tho)

"But Anna you've said this before in at least 3 different posts already" I know, I know, and I have a point, I promise.

I like taking season 6 knowledge and recontextualizing the previous seasons. What does Buck want in season 6? Answers. From the dude at the happiness convention to “I’m the guy with the answers, I kinda like that”. But it’s not crazy to say that Buck has been looking for whatever this answer is his whole life, but the main thing is that Buck keeps looking for answers outside of what he already has, the choice he makes is to look for something else to make things make sense and for someone else to tell him so he can pretend he's not responsible for the consequences. There’s a whole other discussion here and I was talking about this yesterday, but Buck doesn’t really make choices in his life (bisexual king 🫶), he fell into firefighting, he tripped into every relationship he had, he didn’t pick his apartment, he still hasn’t picked a couch.

Okay, but why does that relate to the whole looking-up thing? I don’t know if this makes sense, but I think in a way he expects Eddie to have the answers in a way that’s a bit, not excessive, but like, bordering on too much? Like, for example, the way he takes what Eddie tells him before the tsunami and runs with it, the whole just move on thing that he is still doing (I’m kinda fascinated about the way that the end of the cemetery conversation gives the same message that Eddie tried to push onto him there and we all know how that ended for Eddie), the whole “somehow we manage to just suck it up, why can’t you?” and “a lot of I’s in there” and “you’re making it about you? again?” that does make Buck act as if having feelings about traumatic events means he’s making it about himself, makes him selfish, that makes him act as if he needs just to push through. He keeps following Eddie’s lead at all times. And I think that is something that needs to be addressed in some way before they can have a relationship. I do think post-lawsuit Eddie is trying, post-therapy Eddie is trying even harder to not lead them wrong or dismiss Buck’s feelings, and if Eddie asked Buck out, chances are he would say yes, but it would leave the question of whether he’s just following Eddie’s lead. Because Buck keeps tripping into relationships. We don't see him ask anyone out, we don't see Buck make the decision. The only way to fight this is to have Buck be the one to march to Eddie and go “I want this, do you want me?” and hope he’s doing the right thing while knowing he is the one who went for it.

And like, I don’t really think Eddie would ask Buck, not for lack of wanting, but because he runs from fights he’s not sure he can win, dude retreats back to safety like no one else, and taking a leap with Buck is not safe. But, hey, we’re supposed to believe Buck is the one who keeps running into unsafe situations, so sure, have Buck do it.

And I think the cemetery can be used as a start for that, because Buck keeps trying to get Eddie to tell him what to do, he keeps looking at Eddie and waiting for him to just give him the answers, but Eddie already retreated from the fight, he’s all “whatever you say, bud” so Buck thinks he’s doing something Eddie agrees on, but what Eddie wants is the opposite, the shift in the way Eddie is handling that conversation is really obvious and to have Buck go against it could be used in an interesting way.

And the cemetery scene itself opposes the whole looking-up thing because Eddie refuses to keep looking at Buck while Buck keeps poking him to get him to look. Buck is all “*tugging on his sleeve* tell me I'm right tell me I'm right tell me I’m right” and Eddie is all “you’re right buddy *narrators voice* he doesn’t think he’s right at all”.

And Eddie is locked out of making changes in the relationship in a sense, because Buck basically told him “this woman is the one” so why would he risk the friendship when Buck has made it clear what he wants? In Eddie's head, it's a fight that's already lost, so why would he jeopardize the part of the relationship he does have for something he thinks is hopeless?

But Buck doesn’t have that, I think right now, the power is in Buck’s hands, Buck needs to realize he has it and Buck needs to make the choice to use it.

Mr. Human Calculator I Have The Answers Now needs to accept that life has a level of unpredictability and go for it anyway. Start fighting the current he put himself in and getting the things he does wants not the things he thinks he should want.

Random rant about the cemetery if you feel like reading my thoughts on that.

Random post about Buck, water, and the way he just goes with it forever and ever.

Shorter post about why Buck needs to choose.

My tag for metas if you liked my brand of crazy. 🫶🫶🫶

#this looks longer than it is #its all the screeshots sokaoskaoskas #i have no hinges left oasokasokaosk #yes i know i sound crazy its fine tho #911 #buddie #otp: you don't need to pretend with me #911 meta #buddie thoughts #buddie meta

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decimalsheep · 1 year

Text

I finally watched Bride of Halloween and I love Amuro content (even tho he was stuck in a box for most of the movie LOL) but it got me thinking about like. how so many of his friends died and i’m a sucker for fix-its so:

Time Travel!DCMK where Conan is thrown ten years into the past, right back to the day he met Akai at the beach. He’s bewildered and disbelieving but, quote, “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” so he accepts his new reality and makes a plan accordingly.

At the beach he makes sure to cling stubbornly to Akai, refusing to let go and when they eventually leave the beach, Conan has a new number registered in his phone and a new pen pal buddy. Understanding that Conan is not as he appears, Akai agrees to send updates on his life occasionally (at first out of amusement and pics of whatever food he’s eating, later on asking Conan for advice on specific cases).

At 9 years old, Conan begs his dad for tickets to Kuroba Toichi’s magic show in Tokyo. Yusaku, who is about 86% confident that his son is a time-traveler, agrees easily and may or may not have called the police for back up just in case. Because Conan doesn’t watch magic shows, time-traveler or not (if you don’t count Kid’s heists) and the poorly hidden desperation when he asked was more than enough of a hint that something was going to go down. Surprise surprise, the venue burns down, but this time Kuroba Toichi lives with some minor injuries. (The incident leaves his arm numb, and he feels that his days as Kaitou KID is running short - he decides to pass on the mantle to Kaito when he’s old enough)

At 10 years old, Conan bumps into Hagiwara Kenji at the park. It’s an incident he almost forgets about until he’s staring at the rest of the police academy students. It’s July, and Hagiwara dies in November. Conan doesn’t know the specifics, but when November rolls around, Hagiwara gains a watchful shadow. It’s when the serial bomber case appears on the news that he knows it’s time.

There are officers at the entrance of the hotel stopping guests from entering, but Conan has never let that stop him before, so he runs, and runs and runs to the floor that Hagiwara is on. The timer is stopped, but Conan knows that it will explode regardless. He throws himself into the room, startling the occupants, and starts shouting.

“The bomb is going to explode!” he shouts and claws at the arm that tries to stop him from getting closer. “The bomber- he- it’s going to start again, Matsuda-san says it’s going to explode!” Hagiwara looks up at the commotion, radio in his hand. “What’s going on?” Matsuda snaps.

“It’s going to explode, the timer isn’t stopped!” The kid shouts, desperate and pleading. “You’re going to die!”

The kid looks straight at him when he says that. Unbidden, dread settles in his stomach, every single hair on end and the unshakable feeling that what the kid is saying is-

“Everybody out!” Hagiwara shouts - commands. “Down the hall, now!”

There’s a rush to get out the door and the kid falls to the ground in the process. He scoops him up and together they exit the hotel room. It’s as he’s turning into the hall that he hears the tell-tale sign of the timer turning back on, ticking down to their demise. The radio is left lying on the ground, Matsuda’s voice coming out loud and panicked.

The bomb explodes.

The force of the explosion sends him flying, curling his body around the kid so as to cushion him from the impact. There’s a ringing in his ears and his back hurts like a bitch, but with more distance from the bomb and several walls to take the brunt of the damage, everybody lives.

Matsuda definitely isn’t crying when he sees him coming alive out of the hotel. Life-threatening situation aside, he is so making fun of him for it in the future. Temporarily forgotten in the moment, a small boy slips away from the crowd.

A few days after his 11th birthday, Conan feels someone tailing him. He acts as if he doesn’t notice, fiddling with his phone. But as the crossing light starts flashing for an oncoming train, he bolts and takes off across the street. His tail startles and the chase begins. Using his smaller stature he zigzags through the alleys and streets, throwing himself into crowds in an effort to shake off whoever is following him. But they’re good, and persistent. He turns into an alley that he knows has a gap wide enough to fit only him from his time in the future/past. But he comes to a stop when he sees the construction going on and curses under his breath.

A hand lands on his shoulder and he jolts, reaching for his tranquilizer watch that he got Agasa to remake, only to freeze when he sees who’s behind him.

“Oh, it’s just you Amuro-san,” he sighs, heart beating wildly but now calming down knowing he’s not in danger.

“Amuro-san?” Furuya Rei repeats, bemused, and shit he’s not Amuro yet.

He stutters out some random excuse about how he mistook him for someone and Amu-Furuya seems to let it go. But from that day on, he sees Furuya lurking in his peripherals. He never gets close, hovering from afar, but he’s there nonetheless. It’s not until Conan gets involved with a kidnapping incident does Furuya appear, kicking down the door and a wild look on his face. The rope leaves a burn on his wrists but he’s uninjured otherwise, still, Furuya treats him like he’ll break at a moments notice, carrying him with surprising softness.

From that moment on, Furuya gets close. He’ll say hi if they run into each other (on the days it’s a coincidence) or help him out with whatever errand he’s on (if it’s not). Conan get’s the feeling that Furuya isn’t sure how to treat him.

He asks him about it one day, when Hagiwara spots him across the street and drags him into a family restaurant, proclaiming that he’s “caught the kid.” At the table are seated several familiar faces, Furuya included.It’s apparently lunch to congratulate Furuya and Hiromitsu on their new promotion. Everybody at the table orders for him, saying something about how he saved Hagiwara’s life. Conan insists that he has no idea what they’re talking about, but they don’t seem to care, already three beers in on a Saturday afternoon.

It leaves him and Furuya sitting together, who appears to be the chaperone for the day.

“That day,” he starts, keeping his eyes on his glass of orange juice even as he feels Furuya’s gaze slide to him. “Why did you...”

Furuya stares at him, expression carefully controlled. “You’re... familiar,” he says slowly, looking away as Conan freezes at his words. “Somehow, I have the feeling that if it weren’t for you... that because you’re here, everything will be different.”

His eyes flash, grief and anguish and rage flickering before fading into a calm. “Everything will be okay,” he whispers and Conan isn’t sure if he was meant to hear that.

He’s 12 when he meets up with Sera to watch the new Gojira movie, having become close friends with her since the day at the beach, forming a tight knit group of four along with Ran and Sonoko. The other two aren’t there that day, saying they’d rather go to the new cafe than watch a monster movie, so it’s just the two of them at the theaters.

At the train station where they’re about to head back home, he excuses himself to go to the restroom. On his way back out onto the platform, he bumps into someone.

“Shuu-nii?” he blurts (Sera had convinced him to call him that, and Akai hadn’t protested) and Akai blinks in surprise at seeing him.

“Oh, are you here with Sera?” He asks, then glances at the ticket in his hand. “Then I’m assuming Sera actually does have money for a train ticket?”

They walk together back to the platform and he’s treated to yet another surprise when he sees Sera standing with Hiromitsu. Wait, he remembers Sera mentioning this-

“Hiro-san?” He asks innocently, plan forming in his head. He scoots closer to Akai so that they’re shoulder to shoulder, silently willing him to play along. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be working?”

Hiromitsu looks up, surprised at first then apprehensive once he sees Akai next to him. At this point in time, Furuya, Hiromitsu, and Akai are all unaware of each other’s undercover status. In Hiromitsu’s view, Conan is currently standing next to a criminal. And in Akai’s view, Sera as well.

“I’m currently on a job,” Hiromitsu says pointedly, urging Conan to take the hint and not drop any important information, like the fact that he’s actually an undercover police officer. He knows Conan is smart, but today Conan is willfully obtuse.

“Where’s-” Furuya, he was going to ask, but suddenly he’s grabbed by the arm and dragged away from Akai. When he looks up, he sees a flash of blond hair under a baseball cap.

“It’s dangerous to be out so late at night,” Furuya says, smile tight and forced, even as his grip shifts into something more protective, his body standing in front of his as if to shield him from Akai’s view. He brightens up, bringing out his inner Ran.

“Rei-san!” He exclaims and beams up at him excitedly, doing his best to appear as innocent and friendly as he can. Sera and Akai are staring at him like he’s insane. Furuya and Hiro are staring at him the same way too. “It’s okay, I was with Shuu-nii.”

“Shuu?” Furuya questions, eyebrow raised as Akai raises a hand to stop him from saying anything more.

“Yeah, Akai Shuichi! He’s like an older brother to me.”

“Oh? I could have sworn your name was Moroboshi.”

“Surely you understand the importance of aliases. Right, Rei?”

“So how’s work going with the FBI, Shuu-nii?”

“Ignore him, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about-”

“What the fuck do you mean FBI-”

“And you too! Matsuda and Date and Hagiwara-san were complaining about how ever since you two got into PSB you were too busy to hang out-”

“What the fuck do you mean PSB-”

#dcmk #edogawa conan #amuro tooru #akai shuichi #technically he's shinichi now #but i can't stop referring to him as conan if he's in small form #it feels wrong #if you noticed i conveniently didn't have any characters refer to him by name #time travel au #the aftermath of watching bride of halloween #everybody lives #this is the most messy shit ever but i just wanted to get it out #maybe ill come back and fix it maybe i wont

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