#WHY DID HE FUCKING DO THAAAAT

[rottenpumpkin13]

So, you did sick Gen, but how does everyone else act while sick?

• Sephiroth has the immune system of an ox, and rarely—if ever—gets sick. So when he is hit with the flu or some other common illness, he acts as if he has the plague. But he's not overtly dramatic about it. For reasons likely linked to his childhood being cared for by Hojo, he often chooses to retreat somewhere and suffer alone instead of being taken care of. But if someone finds him they will think he's dying.

*Zack finds Sephiroth on the floor, in fetal position in a dark corner of the break room*

Zack: Sephiroth! What happened!?

Sephiroth: The illness has taken hold of me, Zack. I'm not sure how long I have left. I did not expect to perish pathetically this early, but I've made peace with my fate.

Zack: What do you have??

Sephiroth: A common cold.

Zack:

• In the same vein, Genesis has the immune system of a common medieval rat, but is vocal and loud about it. He wants everyone to know just how miserable he is so that they give him attention and sympathy. Genesis is so dramatic when he's sick, in fact, that if he ever contracted an illness with no cure, he'd abandon everything and start upon a war path until he found one. OH WAIT.

*Genesis is laying sick on the couch while Angeal and Sephiroth work*

Genesis: Sigh.

Angeal & Sephiroth:

Genesis: SIGH.

Angeal & Sephiroth:

Genesis: Oh for fucks sake. *Sets a couch cushion on fire*

Angeal & Sephiroth: GENESIS

Genesis: YES GIVE ME ATTENTION

• Angeal doesn't believe in sickness, so when he's not fussing over his sick friends and going "oh come on, it's not thaaaat bad, you're fine!" (<- something he once said to Genesis, who was puking up blood) He's refusing to acknowledge his own illness and "powering through it."

Sephiroth: Angeal, are you alright?

Angeal: Never felt better.

Sephiroth: Are you sure? You must be cold, you're trembling.

Angeal: I'm just excited to start the day.

Sephiroth: Your lips are blue. That's not normal.

Angeal: Men can wear lipstick too, Sephiroth, don't be toxic.

Sephiroth:

• As much as Zack would love to have Angeal's willpower, slay a horde of tonberries whilst simultaneously coughing up snot and continue to be a hero like it's no big deal, he can't. He tries, but the more he exerts himself, the more the illness soaks up his energy and he becomes weaker. Zack isn't used to not having energy and it bothers him. He becomes irritable, stressed and moody.

Sephiroth: Would you like some tea?

Zack: wOuLd yOu LiKe SoMe TeA?

Sephiroth:

Zack:

Sephiroth:

*Zack starts crying*

• Cloud is the only normal one here. He got sick? Bummer, he still has work and a mountain load of responsibilities that won't wait for him to get better, so he toughens up and takes his medicine at reasonable hours (he has a tendency to forget to take medicine when he's sick but shhhh), he drinks liquids, he sees the doctor, all is well.

Lazard: Strife, I hear you, Zack and the entire First Class caught the flu.

Cloud: We did.

Lazard: Where's Sephiroth?

Cloud: Sleeping in the cupboards in the break room.

Lazard: Angeal?

Cloud: They locked him in a closet to stop him from working.

Lazard: Zack?

Cloud: He cussed out Tseng in a fit of rage and I haven't seen him since.

Lazard: Genesis?

Cloud: He's out selecting a coffin for himself.

Lazard: And you? Why are you on duty instead at home, resting?

Cloud: Because I'm poor, director.

#ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephiroth #final fantasy vii #ffvii crisis core #genesis rhapsodos #ff7 crisis core #angeal hewley #crisis core #cloud strife #headcanons

[happy-mimin]

Np I love sending you thirsts I’m honey 24/7 and you’re my fav creepy pasta writer on here💞

I wanna talk about bully eyeless jack now since I saw your Drabble you made for him

he’s sooooo mean to you and you don’t know why too every time he walks pass you he always bumps into your shoulder on purpose saying the meanest shit under his breath :( but in private jerks off to you imaging your pretty lips around his big thick cock

When you actually confronted him all he did was laugh in your face and you ended up in his room being held by him making you go up and down on his cock since he’s so big and tall after all those cute little pleads made him go even faster

even after he came inside you he still kept thrusting his cock inside of you just to make sure it would stick 💓

I love you too bebe 😩😩, feeding me very well but now imma feed into this brain rot nghhhhhhh

TW. (perverted Ej, Use of fem!reader, reader is riding, slight degradation.)

Bully!eyeless Jack is gonna make you work sis, you want him to stop bullying you? put in this vibrator.

Poor y/n using her wobbling legs to get around from class to class while Ej was grinning his ass off behind her. Everyone was looking at them and this was just the most embarrassing she could ever feel.

Finally when you make it to the end of the day, he pulls you into a abandoned classroom and pushes you against the broad door, which he then continues to say the following words which made your eyes pop.

“You took it out?” He would say with an sadistic smile, while you almost was having an heart attack. How did he know you took the vibrater out? Did he follow you to the girls bathroom? It’s not like any of that matter now, Jack already knew what type of punishment he had in store for you.

“J-Jack…m’ legs-“ Your words were soft, but your voice hoarse from the onslaught of screaming from earlier events. Your poor thighs wasn’t able to have support for your upper body for much longer, and his thick girth that was splitting you open didn’t do much justice either.

Jack groaned in annoyance, he lifted his head from off the chair to look at you and your deplorable condition right now. In all truth he couldn’t deny how sexy you looked on top of him, you’re small frame shaking from trying to keep up. “What…? Is the little girl growing some balls with me?

“No, no! Jack please..!” A sharp squeal left her throat, y/n throwing herself onto his warm chest as jack just decided to plant his feet onto the floor and start fucking her senseless. “Jack please what? You want me to go faster baby..fuck, make this pussy cream?”

He knew you couldn’t answer back, only moan mantras of his name and small curses before doing exactly what his taunting words were saying. And my god did this make him almost nut.

“Thaaaat’s right, cmon, make a mess on your bully’s dick.”

#creepypasta smut #creepypasta #mimi's bebes!!💕 #black writers #eyeless jack #Ej ⚫️ - ⚫️ #creepypasta headcanon #headcannons #jeff the killer #x black reader #slenderman #ticci toby

[ecoamerica]

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[gregoftom]

thinking about tom being the only one (besides mattson as a joke once) to call greg gregory tonight. like it only started after greg specifically asked to be called that and started introducing himself as such, but like, it’s only occasionally when they’re alone. which makes sense because if tom’s the only only one at events calling him gregory it would be noticeable/notable, so it starts as just kind of a private thing for them. but what if when they finally get together tom starts exclusively calling him gregory and eventually greg is like why are you doing that and tom says it’s because you said that’s what you wanted to go by has that changed and and greg’s just blown away because he’s fine with either but the fact that tom remembers and is the only one to respect him like that is

YEAHHHH like i love so much tom calling greg, gregory like it’s one of my Fave things 🥹 and we were fucking ROBBED of greg calling tom, thomas like he did in the script bc literally No One calls him that in show or otherwise in the script and like! ah!!!! why couldn’t we keep thaaaat sob. but anyway, gwahhhhhjjjkkgjgjg that’s so much and so sweet and honestly so true like. tom Be like that and greg isn’t used to ppl actually listening to him and respecting and loving him and. hhhhf 🥺

#tomgreg

[jsx-mbti]

Context:

INTP & ENTP = Engaged

ENFP & ENFJ = Engaged

ENTJ & INFJ = Dating

All = Swinging/Dating

*the 6 are out at a restaurant*

INTP: *orders a bunch of stuff*

ENTJ: .... DO YOU THINK WE'RE MADE OF MONEY?

INTP: I'M HUNGRY

ENTJ: AND YOU'RE NOT PAYING YOU FREELOADING HOE NOW ORDER SOMETHING CHEAPER

INTP: BUT I'M HUNGRY 😡

ENFJ: HEY HEY HEY, I'LL PAY FOR WHATEVER THEY ORDER OK... Geesh

ENTJ: good luck

INTP: thank you Lord sir 😭🙌🏼

ENFJ: ....

ENTP: *fell asleep over INTP*

INTP: *shakes ENTP* bruh wake up its your turn to order

ENTP: it's 5am T-T I'm tire- *glances at the menu* OOOOOH AN OREO MILKSHAKE I'LL TAKE THAT *keeps ordering stuff*

ENTJ: *sigh*

ENFP: *also orders a bunch of stuff*

ENTJ: ANYTHING ELSE?

ENFP: oh and I also want an Oreo milkshake

ENTJ: 💢💢💢

INFJ: I'll just take a water 🥲 please no one fight

ENTJ: NONSENSE, hun pick actual food ok..

INFJ: *anxiously orders*

*minutes later after they start eating*

ENFP: *shoves a chicken tender inside the Oreo milkshake*

INTP: aight I'm out 💀

ENFJ: ...........

INFJ: *giggles*

ENTP: WHAT KIND OF HEATHEN ARE YOU?

ENTJ: 💢💢💢 I want you GONE ._. from Earth, entirely.

ENFP: what? they SLAP here try one *hands the chicken tender to ENTJ*

ENTJ: *yells super loud* I DON'T WANT YOUR DISGUSTING CHICKEN

INTP, ENTP, & INFJ: *snort/laugh*

Waitress: *walks over* is everything ok here?

ENTJ: oh yeah, just that our boyfriend IS A FUCKING HEATHEN SENT FROM HELL TO TORMENT US

ENFP: hey ma'am wanna try my chicken tendie? *hands her the Oreo milkshake chicken tender*

Waitress: *disgusted look* n-no thanks... *walks to the other tables*

ENFP: oh well your loss ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ *eats it*

ENFJ: *looks directly into ENFP's eyes* you don't even like it do you...

ENFP: *whispers* nope but I'll eat it because I can ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ENFJ: but WHY?

ENFP: to make em more mad ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ENFJ: *sigh*

ENTP: ok maybe it ain't thaaaat bad

INTP: you're NOT LMFAO

ENTP: *takes a bite out of it* *spits it in a napkin* HOW ARE YOU EATING THIS?

INTP: 💀💀💀

ENFP: it's delicious what are you talking about? 😈

ENFJ: is that why you wear scarves so much? Because that's where you hide the lies?

ENFP: WELL DAMN 😭💀

INTP: LMFAOOOO

ENTP: 💀💀💀

ENFJ: oh don't you two laugh you're worse

ENTP & INTP: oh come on we would never 😇😇

ENFP: y'all told me I could microwave coffee and I believed it ok...

INTP: that's on YOU LMFAO

ENTP: see, I learned it first hand so I thought you should also suffer 💀

ENFP: smh see what I mean?

INTP: *shoves a bunch of random paper plates inside their backpack*

ENTJ: .......what are you doing?

INTP: getting free dishes what does it look like deep shit 💀

ENTJ: free dishes? Those are paper plates...

INTP: they're dishes to ME.

ENTJ: ....

INTP: listen, I ain't doing dishes in like a month, so this should help

ENTJ: could you be ANY MORE LAZY...

ENFJ: not as bad when ENTP used saran wrap over dishes and then put the food/drinks OVER the saran wrap, and then when he was done threw the saran wrap away and put the dishes back in the cabinet

ENTP: *cackles*

INTP: 🤔 fuck you mean to tell me I could've used saran wrap

ENTJ: .......IN ALL THAT TIME YOU COULD'VE JUST WASH THE DAMN DISH INSTEAD OF WASTING PLASTIC, not like I give a damn about the environment anyway but STILL...

ENTP: listen a win is a win 💀 I didn't have to do dishes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ENTP & INTP: *fist bump*

ENTJ: ..... Why did I agree to swing with these losers

#intp #entj #enfj #entp #enfp #infj #mbti skit #mbti memes

[kawaiicheese101]

Chapter 1: Finders Keepers, Liars Weepers (Deadly Life)

Vulk: Ah…

Vulk: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

The sudden scream of Vulk startled me to the point I jumped in shock…

Whoever did this to our brother…will pay the–

*Ding-dong Bing bong!*

Monocubit: A body has been discovered!

Monocubit: Now then, After an amount time has pass, the class trial will begin!

An…Body discovery announcement?

Flain: Vulk!

Vulk: Ughhhh…Ugh…

Flain: I know how you feel but there’s no time for that!!

Flain: Whoever did this must be in the hallway! We need to hurry!!!

Vulk: H–Huh? The killer is up there…?

Zaptor: ……………………………………

Flain: Zaptor?

Vulk: Z–Zaptor!? What are you….!? WHYYY!?

Zaptor: …Ugh…My head…What…What happened?

Zaptor: Huh? Vulk? And Flain? Where did you guys…?

Flain: What’s going on!? Why are you?

Vulk: Zaptor…D–Did you…Did…you…

Zaptor: Huh…? What do you mean? And why are you shaking so much?

Flain: Just…come with us…

Zaptor: Uh…If you say so…

Zaptor: Huh…? What…?

Zaptor: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! B–Blood!? BLOOD!??

Zaptor: Z–Zorch…!? T–That’s Zorch in there…That’s…goddamn…

Vulk: ……………………….

Flain: What’s going on…?

Flain: I...think we should get the others...

Camillot: …..How could this…?

Gobba: Gaaaaaaah! How!? Z–Zorch…!!

Jamzy: Wha…Wha…That’s…Zorch!? H–He was with us last night…

Trumpsy: Brother, don’t worry. There’s nothing to be scared of.

Mixadel: ...So Zorch bites of the dust huh?

Mixadel: Oh well.

Seismo: H–How you can say something like that!?

Vampos: Holy shit man…He’s lying down on his face and stomach…How did this happen so fast…?

Volectro: This is…To awful…

Niksput: Who was it!? Who did such a thing!?

Shuff: WE ALREADY KNOW WHO IT IS!!! It’s either that fucking Mixadel or It’s Vampos!

Vampos: Wait…Why am I a suspect?

Mixadel: …

Monocubit: Now, now! Is everybody here? Silence! As this is the very first murder, there are things that need to be cleared up!

Vulk: F–First…? You’re making it sound like there’s more happening soon…

Gobba: Right…And “Murder”...? Does that mean someone kill Zorch?

Gobba: T–That can’t be…We’re the only ones in this school…

Monocubit: Thaaaat’s right! Zorch was killed by one of you!

Someone…Out  of the 12 of us had killed Zorch.

I had my doubts when Monocubit first announced the killing game but…

As Monocubit spoke just now the harsh reality of the killing game was etched into my mind.

A murder really happened…

Monocubit: Seeing how a murder really ha occured, being hopeful about “Not killing” is just an ignorance to reality.

Gobba: …

Monocubit: Putting aside the sorrow of losing Zorch, this is where the actual fun starts!

Monocubit: All of you soon are gonna be very busy.

Zaptor: Busy…? What do you mean by…?

Vampos: He means we need to be prepared for the class trial.

Monocubit: As Vampos stated you will have to find the blackened who killed Zorch through the class trial.

Monocubit: The game has already begun! The fight to the death between the spotless and the blackended!

Monocubit: Will the blackened escape the school? Will the spotless reveal their identity? What will it be!?

Monocubit: I’ll give you the right to investigate! Try to find proof about the murder so you can expose the blackended in the trial! Fuwahahahahaha!!!

Jamzy: T–There’s no fucking way…I can do that…Not a chance…Someone is dead…What the hell are we supposed to…?

Trumpsy: No no brother, we have to. Or would you rather have everyone executed.

Jamzy: Huh….!?

Camillot: ………………..

Camillot: …It’s as Trumspy says…We need to do this…

Flain: Camillot…

Camillot: There’s no escaping from this reality. You all know the rules of the class trial, right?

Camillot: If we do not find the killer, all of us will die!

Niksput: So, everyone dies if we don’t fine the culprit, huh?

Seismo: One…of us…So, all us suspects…?

Shuff: Suspecting my friends…I’ve met all of you a few days ago but you all feel like such good friends of mine…

Monocubit: Fufufufufu…Looks like everyone is prepared!

Monocubit: To begin, I will bestow upon you all the Monocubit File!

Flain: Monocubit File? What’s that…?

Monocubit: Although there’s a lot of you, you’re still high school students in the end!

Monocubit: Investigating a murder won’t be easy with out the Monocubit File!

Monocubit: Okaaaay! I hope you all find something!

INVESTIGATION START

Flain: I guess I should start investigating too…

Flain: I’m not really sure where to start but..I should read the Monocubit file first at least.

The victim is Zorch. The time of death was 7:02 am.

The body was discovered in his bedroom.

His death was caused by bluntforce trauma.

TRUTH BULLET: Monocubit File

I guess I need to inspect the body if I’m going to find the culprit… 

Zorch’s dead body was in a dreadful state…

His head was pouring out blood…and on top of that his face is probably covered in his on blood…

Wait…Huh?

What’s with the large wound in his head…?

TRUTH BULLET: Large Wound

Hm, What’s this? 

A…hammer?

And it’s bloody…

TRUTH BULLET: Bloody Hammer

Flain: Gobba, is eveything going okay with the investigation?

Gobba: Yep yep!

Gobba: Buuut can I tell you something??

Flain: Go ahead.

Gobba: When I was walking down tooo the diner earlier I heard Zorch’s voice and it sounded like he was in danger…!

Flain: Thanks Gobba, You’re account maybe helpful for this case.

Gobba: You’re welcome!

TRUTH BULLET: Gobba’s Account

Flain: Trumspy, is eveything going okay with the investigation?

Trumpsy: Yes, But I found this strange note.

Trumpsy: It’s has in little droplets of blood on it.

Flain: Thanks Trumspy, You’re account maybe helpful for this case.

Trumpsy: Hehe, I hope so.

TRUTH BULLET: Trumpsy’s Account

TRUTH BULLET: Strange Note

*Ding-dong Bing bong!*

Monocubit: Ahem, Attention all students, The investigation has now come to an end.

Monocubit: The class trial will now begin so everybody can go to the class trial entrance on the 1st floor!

Flain: I guess investigation time is over…

We all did our best but we can’t be sure who the culprit is until we the class trial.

We need too do this. We need too trust everyone and their abilities.

We need too hope that we can solve all the mysteries of this case in the class trial.

Flain: The 1st floor…She must talking about that door…

Flain: You’re all here…

Magnifo: You’re late, Flain.

Flain: I’m late…? Sorry about that…

Vulk: We were worried about you, what made you so late?

Flain: I came as soon as I heard the announcement…

Jamzy: Maybe… It’s ‘cuz you’re the culprit, right?

Flain: A–As if!

Trumspy: Jamzy, Don’t say such things to poor Flain!

Camillot: It’s like what Trumpsy said earlier. If we don’t the real culprit, We’ll all die.

Camillot: Those are the two out comes.

Camillot: If we don’t know, we’re dead.

Gobba: What just happened…? Just yesterday we were partying…How did this happen…?

Vampos: We have no time to think about that. If we give up here, none of us will survive.

Seismo: Wait, is this the class trial room? It not at all how me imagine it to be…

Mixadel: No…This is the only way to the trial room.

Mixadel: The elevator will take us down

Shuff: “Take us down”!? Down where?

Niksput: …

Monocubit: Sorry to keep you all waiting! Everybody seems to be read, so let’s begin the class trial!

Monocubit: Everybody! Come aboard the elevate in front of you an come to the trial grounds!

Monocubit: There’s no running from the class trial, so take what you’ve gathered during the investigation…

Monocubit: And try your best to win! FuAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Zaptor: So we’re really doing this…

Jamzy: I don’t wanna go down… 

Gobba: Are we going to be able to find the culprit…? It’ll be really bad if we don’t…

Shuff: …

Shuff: RAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! You know what!? Bring it on! It’s not like we can escape this anyways!

Vulk: Y–Yeah! What he said!

Seismo: Us must find who killed Zorch…No matter what.

…It’s starting.

Once we go down that elevator there’s no going back, no running away or giving up…But I’m not alone.

I need to survive through this mayhem with everyone!

Flain: Okay…Here we go.

After making sure everybody was in the elevator we pushed the button and the door shut.

We felt the elevator begin to descend.

Monocubit: Sorry to keep you all waiting! Everybody seems to be read, so let’s begin the class trial!

Monocubit: Everybody! Come aboard the elevate in front of you an come to the trial grounds!

Monocubit: There’s no running from the class trial, so take what you’ve gathered during the investigation…

Monocubit: And try your best to win! FuAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Zaptor: So we’re really doing this…

Jamzy: I don’t wanna go down… 

Gobba: Are we going to be able to find the culprit…? It’ll be really bad if we don’t…

Shuff: …

Shuff: RAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! You know what!? Bring it on! It’s not like we can escape this anyways!

Vulk: Y–Yeah! What he said!

Seismo: Us must find who killed Zorch…No matter what.

…It’s starting.

Once we go down that elevator there’s no going back, no running away or giving up…But I’m not alone.

I need to survive through this mayhem with everyone!

Flain: Okay…Here we go.

After making sure everybody was in the elevator we pushed the button and the door shut.

We felt the elevator begin to descend.

The elevator made a loud sound as it slowly but steadily descended down.

Normally, everyone would have been talking to each other…

But the vibrations of the elevator seem to make us all mute. Alerting us of the class trial to come.

And then, The elevator stopped.

A trial of life and death…

A lie of life and death…

A betrayal of life and death…

The truth of life and death...

The excuse of life and death...

The trust of life and death...

A matter of life and death...

The class trial.

Monocubit: Allow me to briefly explain the rules of the class trial!

Monocubit: The results of the class trial will be decided purely by your votes.

Monocubit: If you choose the correct blackened, only they will receive punishment! but if you choose wrong...

Monocubit: I'll punish everyone besides the blackened, and they will earn the right to graduate!

So it began. The class trial.

One of us has brutally killed Zorch.

Monocubit: Now then, first...

Trumpsy: Wait a second, Monocubit! There's something I want to ask first!

Monocubit: Oh? And what's that?

Trumpsy: Accomplice, Can there be an accomplice in this case?

Niksput: That's a good question. Is there an accomplice? The question is a big factor in deciding who the culprit is.

Monocubit: Good question! I suppose I didn't add that in the rules.

Monocubit: But, there can be an accomplice.

Vulk: W-Wait, So it's possible!?

Monocubit: But only in theory. Only one can finally leave the killing game. Only one person did.

Vampos: Of course, the rules even say that only one murder counts that there more happening.

Vampos: In other words...An accomplice would not benefit if there are two or more people involved in the case.

Mixadel: They would gain nothing from assisting the culprit, after all.

Vampos: ...Wait, everyone. Can I say something before we start?

Magnifo: Huh? What is it Vampos?

Vampos: I've identified who the culprit is.

Shuff: Wait, What!? Are you serious!?

Niksput: Who is it? Who's the culprit!?

Vampos: ...I know exactly who the culprit is and I know exactly how they pulled it off.

Vampos: I'll give them a chance to speak up.

Vampos: Give yourself up now. At least then, we'll be able to accept that you regret it.

Vampos: You'll get found anyway.......

Vulk: ...............................................

Gobba: .............

Vampos: ...Nobody is confessing.

Lunk: Well crap. What kind of person would tell the truth? They would be dead if they confessed.

Vampos: ...Alright, then we'll do this the hard way.

Niksput: So, who's the culprit, Vamp?

Vampos: ...I can't tell you that just yet.

Jamzy: H-Huh!? Are you screwing around?

Jamzy: Just tell us who it is so we can end this!!

Jamzy: It's like what Flain said...I don't wanna be here any longer than I have to be.

Vampos: Would you even be able to comprehend it if I told you?

Vampos: ...I'd be lucky if anybody believed my reasoning.

Mixadel: Ah, your observation powers are impressive, Vampos.

Vampos: This is the class trial, meaning our lives are on the line.

Vampos: We need to find a conclusion that's acceptable. So that when we find the culprit, there's no doubt.

Vampos: ...Figure it out. I'll help out when I can.

#fanganronpa #my fangan #mixels #MR: MUD #Mixelsronpa

[ikemenomegas]

Not until then. And even though you understood it, for a long, long time it had still hurt. Because no one had ever stepped up to do the same for any of you

Screaminf and crying

There's this feeling of being abandoned by the system and being forever stuck in the cycle of getting killed for the sake of other people and never being able to have the certainty of having a painless death because you're not allowed to be selfish and this is all happening to a bunch of teenagers who haven't seen much of the world yet. That part hits me especially hard since I've had similar thoughts like that in the past and there's this nagging thought at the back of your mind going "what about me?" And it just fucks u up a bit.

I also love the myy oc and shoko pairing more than gojo x myy oc or geto x myy oc because the two of them were always like the ppl left behind by the two strongest sorcerers, if that makes sense at all. Shoko and myy oc can understand each other more and that scene of them in bed was just perfect because there was an equal amount of playful bantering and intimacy in the scene so i loved it

Thaaaat's them. And I absolutely get it, that's why I wrote it this way. There's something about watching other people get... saved I guess, either by others or by themselves, or even seeing bad things happen and going "why did no one save me" or "why am i not strong enough to save myself" or "am i not strong enough to do something that matters". It's not a nice feeling so we don't like to acknowledge it, but i don't think it's uncommon. I'm proud of and grateful to you anon for saying you relate, I'm sorry you have felt that way, but know you aren't alone in it.

just writing my reply to you, I realize that maybe of all the people in the group, Nanami might also understand (if he and myy oc were close enough to have this kind of heart to heart). It's a very particular kind of bitter adult feeling, it's only Nanami acknowledges the good he does in the world. myy oc broke in a way where they think it doesn't matter/nothing they do will ever be good enough ^^' (sorry for the sad)

For Shoko and myy oc I think it sucks in particular too because... Gojo and Getou were their friends, but didn't try to save them. Actually, they were abandoned too. Getou and myy oc share the non-sorcerer background, but Shoko and myy oc share the reality of being important parts of the power structure of jujutsu society without actually having as much power as that position should allow them.

You are so right though and I hope you'll love the road trip au where they just run away. Shoko is best wife, we stan Shoko on this blog. If Shoko has a character flaw, we're starting to see she's too internal, and kind of passive/accepting/avoidant. She very very seldom says what she means or actually wants to say. She should have asked myy oc to marry her first, they would have both been less heartbroken lol (there's a fic for that too btw 😉 the new season is making me itch to finish the shoko content in my drafts)

#from the notebook #ask answered #io.myy #ieri shoko #myy oc #i tried to make it a short reply T.T because i'm sure you're tired of my rambling #this isn't short #sorry

[engagemythrusters]

I’m fucking terrified. Here we go.

The Summit.

Ah Pabu. Calm before the storm.

Imperial summit. Wow wonder where the ep title comes from?

Ah tarkin. Echo’s favourite guy.

HUNTER WHAT THE FUCK

Thank you techh.

“We do not leave our own behind” except for when you do. multiple times.

Omega you are the only one I trust with crosshair at this point. She’s the only one who doesn’t give up on him ever

Aww Phee and omega

get his ass Phee

Oh wait uh phee he’s autistic tho he’s missing thaaaat point

JUST KISS ALREADY

Ugh whatever it’s fine (it is not fine)

I’m tired of you, bitch. Go die in a hole Hemlock.

Better yet get poisoned by your namesake.

I still don’t understand how Tarkin aged 20 years in 2

Tho that follows Obi-Wan’s 30-in-9-years (except he lived on tatooine and never wore sunscreen so that one’s his own bitch fault)

Rex is gonna be forging clearances codes for a looooooooooong time. I mean he takes a break for a bit but then he gets back on it.

Oooooo air rail cars!

Tarkin doesn’t deserve an air rail.

Wrecker imparting his fear of heights onto omega

“Recycle the feed” that officer does not give one flying fuck

WRECKER WHY DID YOU LOOK DOWN 😭😂

awww my 🏴‍☠️ stalled. Gotta wait a bit to continue ig…

I suppose no crosshair in this ep tho bc it’s only about the summit. That’s okay AS LONG AS THEY SAVE HIM NEXT EP AND HE DOESNT FUCKING DIE.

Okay I am back to watch

Honestly ballsy of them to bring Omega to tbis. I would not. She’s to Liddol!! Baby girl :( too small

LEAVE MY POOR CLONES ALONE

I WILL KILL YOU HEMLOCK

Fuck you Tarkin. I fucking hate you.

Star Dust… yeah we all know that’s the fuckin Death Star

Mouse droid! Oh it made lil noises :D

She’s so tiny I love her so so much if anything happens to h—

Oh my god it’s a trap

It’s a trap isn’t it

NO ITS A TRAP AND I KNOW IT IS

omega sweetie it’s a trap go back to wrecker GO BACK TO WRECKER

well hooray tracking beacon but GO BACK ITS ABSOLUTELY A TEAP

wrecker u killed the lil mousie 😭

TECH ITS A TRAP

it’s a trap it’s a trap it’s a trap

Admiral ackbar—

Saw?

It’s

IT IS

I knew that voice

I still think it’s a trap. I don’t know what’s happening here. But I am still certain it’s a trap.

Bye saw

Pew pew pew

Pew pew

Sorry.

DID THEY JUST—WRECKER OH MY GOD 😂 just fucking bowlingpinned them with one of their own oh my god I love that man

She shot his butt hehe

… why is the controller for that ship… down there… o-o

Well there goes that tracker

Okay I’ll admit being wrong. It wasn’t a trap.

Hehe wrecker is gonna drop isn’t he. That’s gonna fucjin terrify him. Poor guy.

Oh? Cliffhanger?

Yknow what this is long already I’ll start another one for the next ep in a reblog

I’m gonna get food first

#star wars: the bad batch

[windlion]

Malevolent podcast, part 8! Eps 23-25

And now we're into the home stretch~~~

Don't ask questions you don't want answers to, Arthur. Delicious.

Oh, it correlated because Arthur just got monched on

"Why are we naked" NOT A GOOD QUESTION TO HAVE

Oh the floor is screaming that's casual

I mean, at least you're in nice digs?

Mmm. *side-eyes* You're wearing a bow-tie, I can't trust you

Why does he know your name?

Arthur all "do I look like I can buy the place"

Okay, good, Arthur also skeptical AF

"If we stay here we die" 8 ball says "Most likely yes"

I can absolutely see this as a video game sequence with the lightning and blackness

"What made you like him?" Yellow, you bein' transparent

Welcome to being the voice of reason, Yellow!

You think he's not going to notice the cold and the rain from the window opening? But better than being found!

"NOT HELPING"

Yellow "MAYBE IF YOU WERE AFRAID YOU WOULDN'T DO THIS BS"

Time for Yellow to be all ". . . I cannot believe you are doing this and not dying"

Y'all want to take a minute to get the star-footed bestiary deets?

Heart to hearts in a storage room~ aww, Yellow trying hard

"A levitating massive black stone" - thaaaat's the mountain guys

And a secret door!

Oh you guys gonna walk straight back into this guy

Who is Older Than He Looks, of course

Toot toot magic flute~ to control the invisible monster I'm guessing

And you have now activated the magic security alarm system

Ah we meet the owner of the femur?

Larson absolutely follows the Classic Villain playbook

WELP you took longer to get the point of the game, Arthur

"Wasn't" - I am going to guess that didn't hold super long

Cord is going to be a garrotte, I bet

OH but not the way I expected, yikes

Ohhhhh okay that's fucked

And then he was dinner. . . but not without some EYAGH

"Did I interrupt something?"

"I didn't peg you for a Catholic" *wheeze* that's a hilarious way of saying "I thought you were a cultist."

Yeah this guy is a creep

Arthur you are slow to get what I thought was your opening line

Okay that's . . . *grimace face*

Ohhh boy

And we hit Arthur's berserk button / breaking point, Arthur is going to fucking kill you

Ding ding ding, I am a winner

Yellow, you are being a dick and Arthur is breaking down apparently

And now we have an elegy for John

OH OH That is a Development!!

"Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket?!"

And now back to your regularly scheduled shit show! Petition for Arthur to have an hour or two of breaking down crying before passing out in exhaustion.

"You have your hand back!" Arthur, alarmingly happy to lose autonomy for company

Please remember the magic flute if you still have it

"You look like shit" Thanks, buddy, glad to see you too

"It was you without the -you-"

Arthur all "I have a man to kill."

You found the cultist's temple!

Are you sure you didn't just hit another mirror

Time for panic attack!

And John gets to be the moral voice

*side-eyes* Wow that honey moon period was short

"I guess" . . . Mmm that was not super positive

Box puzzle!

How many people have the Larsons chucked down here?

. . . Or they live here now

"We never actually tried waiting"

Time to talk~~~

You are doing whatever the opposite of back-handed compliments are

Arthur, my dude you are not good at this, but that is probably because you need ALL THE THERAPY

And you are realizing it, that's something

Oh okay he is accruing scars

AND NOW YOU REMEMBER THE FLUTE

One of them, one of them~ Introduce yourself to your new neighbors

Dinner bell has been rung!

At least that's relatively quick???

Time to hide in the pantry~

Oh we're back to this again

I get the parallel they're making here but I'm also sort of like . . . how are we expected to believe they completely swapped morals?

*eyes Arthur* ALL the therapy

"I'm not angry I'm disappointed"

Arthur I would also like you get your shit together

Go back into the estate to find your bag and the flute?

You are definitely getting your cardio in today

That's not quiet, John

The lighter is definitely Arthur's own talisman - which does explain why Killing it With Fire worked so well. I do kinda wonder if the other magic objects are also coming from individual people

Time for your colonial bullshit to be questioned, Arthur

*pokes Arthur* You need to get your head around the fact you killed someone. Not accidental manslaughter this time, but very deliberately. It wasn't necessarily premeditated murder but you sure as fuck don't have a high ground. And you may very well have caused other people to die.

"Nothing that doesn't come with experience" Or PTSD

"I've only done this to survive" not ALL of it

And that's your problem, Arthur, you need to own that if you're going to kill people or cause them to die by your inaction you need a reason for it, and you need to decide if the reasons are good enough for your morals. And the demon in your head is your Jimminy Cricket right now

~~~Cuuuuuult~~~

Yellow King knows them, that's not great

"Things military" gives you deja vu, hmmm

Arthur, you are not doing a great job of being forthcoming

Yikes that is a way to go

Yeah, John is getting all the psychic damage

"We can go home!" - What do you think is still there four months later?

"I'm okay, are you okay?"

Open the goddamn door Arthur

"Yet" that's worrying

. . . Cain? You be playin?

OPEN THE DOOR, ARTHUR

It's a temple, you idiot

John you are NOT HELPING

. . . And his head exploded, didn't it.

I scream at the top of my lungs, "What's going on?"

"Blackstone" = the floating mountain that people were worshiping and/or the mountain you're literally in right now

. . . That was a switch, Arthur

Yiiiiiiikes, that's a note to end on.

So clearly we've got more story coming, and I am Invested to see where it goes.

I am still frustrated at the see-saw of characterizations, like it's getting fast-forwarded too much to really explain or feel why. Telling not showing, I guess? It does make me think as a writer what's working and what isn't. The creator's getting better at the medium as they go, so I think it's been a really good learning experience.

#Wind is a ridiculous creature #Malevolent podcast #screamalong #eps 23-25 #wouldn't mind doing this for other podcasts/shows #hmmmmm what next #I do have ALL THE DMBJ to watch still #where NPSS is also very instructive by what he does and doesn't do XD

[adultswim2021]

NOTE: Eagle-eyed viewers might recognize this post from a couple nights ago. That’s because I fucked up and wrote up the wrong episode by mistake. So I’m reposting it as to not disgrace the continuity of my blog. Please scroll down for a brand new Ephemera Corner and a slightly larger-sized Mail Bag.

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! #8: “Hamburger” | April 7, 2007 - 11:45PM | S01E08

A serious contender for favorite Awesome Show episode ever, a near-flawless show that is actually weirdly cohesive; almost “one thing”; like Ice Haven by Daniel Clowes or something like that.

The plot of this episode is basically that Tim & Eric haven’t turned the episode of the show in yet, and we’re watching a live feed of them trying to rush the episode to Adult Swim. This begins with a fake bumper. Not since Sealab 2021 have we been treated to the fake bumper shtick. I think. I don’t know how to check this. Sorry. The “live feed” is very obviously not actually live, because we see obvious edits and even a little bit of reversed footage of Neil Hamburger being disgusting.

Neil Hamburger! I love Neil Hamburger so much. I first got into Neil Hamburger… I forget how. I think one of the VERY VERY VERY few cool people in Redding, CA told me about him. I have two of his early albums, and a couple of DVDs of his. I have that first one where he’s not doing the voice. I got to see him live circa 2005 in San Francisco. He told a joke where he exhaustively described Ronald McDonald coming home and murdering his entire family, including his wife, his son, and his dog. Q. Why did Ronald McDonald murder his family [told in lengthy beat-by-beat detail]? A. Because he found some of the Colonel’s secret herbs and spices in his wife’s panties. A pathetic punchline, but the entire room was howling at the set-up for what felt like forever. Maybe the best comedy show I’ve ever been to?

Tim & Eric call a cab, and it’s Neil Hamburger, who is announced with an extended title card during the opening. They must rush to Adult Swim headquarters to deliver their tape. But Neil is surly and uses bad manners on them. There are lots of wonderful moments between them, like when Neil calls them rapists unprompted. When they protest to being called rapists he shoots back “then don’t rape.” I literally think about this maybe once a day in traffic. If I get mad at a fellow driver and I’m feeling jocular, I’ll shout “you rapist!” in a Neil Hamburger voice. But thaaaat’s my life.

There are typical Awesome Show skits and bits, but nearly all of them fold back into the ending or set something up that happens later. Example: a promo for the Uncle Muscles Grand Championships is very funny on it’s own (Channel 5 logo in flames with the subtitle “on Five’r” is so hilarious), and it also sets up the ending of the episode.

Tim and Eric wind up caught in a traffic jam, caused by a car crash. Two men argue with each other over who caused the accident, and decide to settle it by having their little pocket monsters fight each other; one has a Tim and one has an Eric, both in red jumpsuits. They have a dance off and Tim is declared the winner (the footage of them dancing in these red jumpsuits is repurposed for the opening of Awesome show). Eric’s male owner punishes Eric by squashing him to death with his foot. Tim is allowed to climb up into his owner’s breast pocket and do an insane dance while making disgusting noises.

Then we cut to Michael Q. Schmidt and his companion (an actor that I don’t think ever recurred on the show, even though he has a great look and voice). Michael Q. is looking through his yoo-hoo stick (or “telescope” to those of you who aren’t stateside) at Tim’s dance. We soon learn through dialogue Michael Q. is dancing in the Uncle Muscles Grand Championships, and may be underprepared. Michael Q. teases that he’s got an idea, heavily implied that he’s going to use Tim’s dance. This bit of set-up completely eluded me in the first few viewings of this episode. I remember exclaiming this revelation to my friend who was watching it with me, as he often did. He too never realized this, and we had ourselves a little mitzvah over it.

Finally Tim & Eric Make it to Adult Swim headquarters (with a very fun miniature or computer-generated building or some combination of) and toss the tape inside. As it slowly makes its way into the tape machine, they lament that they forgot to rewind it. So it plays the ending of the show: the tail end of Casey and his brother performing “Chop Suey” (using footage from an old promo they shot). Uncle Muscles (Weird Al) throws to Michael Q. Schmidt, completely nude, performing “Raise My Roof”, clearly inspired by Tim’s little goblin/pocket dance. Cut to Uncle Muscles, Casey, and his Brother, all speechless. CUE CREDITS: which is inexplicably the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme. I remember crying laughing at this when it happened. I’m a casual admirer of Curb and not quite a devotee, so the fact that they were using Curb-style music cues throughout the whole episode sorta eluded me.

Another great thing worth mentioning is that Tim & Eric’s stupid little songs in this are so fun. They love to take little moments to themselves to celebrate minor accomplishments and it’s very charming. A very good idea for a kind of guy to be. When in a hurry to make a flight or other appointment I’ve been known to keep my spirits up by singing the little “we’re gonna make it” song.

There are roughly three bits in the entire show that don’t really have to do with this throughline, and they are:

A quick “Where’s my Chippy” bit, set at a claw machine being operated by a small boy. This is my favorite one of these, I think. Doug Lussenhop plays the boy and he has a Chippy-esque pube-stache. He’s so weird-looking in this. It’s… unforgettable.

A prank phone call where Tim calls a tech support company because a uke fell on his laptop and now he can’t check his sites. There’s some very funny turns of phrase in this, and the cut away from the animated call to actual camera footage of Tim performing the call is so fun. It is, dare I say it? Irresistible. Tim notes on the commentary (recorded shortly after this season was completed, if memory serves) that this is probably the final prank phone call of the series. This is a good one to go out on. These can be funny, and have funny things in them, but making them be prank phone calls is pointless, because it’s almost never really about the reaction.

A very strong, very funny Steve Brule segment where he presents his investigative report about diarrhea. He has a chart showing every day he got the runs, and really says nothing of use about the topic. When Jan and Wayne notice a different color square on one of the days that month, Steve sheepishly admits that it was his birthday. Jan and Wayne rib him for not letting them know it was his birthday and go into a spirited birthday song while steve basks in the love with a dumb little smile. The sketch ends with what’s assumed to be a stock photo that in-universe Channel 5 graphics department scrambled to find: Jan and Wayne holding a birthday cake that has Wayne’s name on it. It’s such a hilarious detail, making this maybe my favorite Awesome Show Brule bit of all time.

I’m almost certain this is my favorite episode of season one. For Goddamn sure.

EPHEMERA CORNER:

Poolside Chats with Neil Hamburger (Interview with Tim & Eric, January 15, 2007)

You remember Tom Green? Ottawa public-access host turned Canadian basic cable host turned MTV host turned filmmaker turned internet television pioneer? His online show was a nightly talk show that broadcast live out of his house, where he’d built a swanky late night set. There we some seriously wonderful and experimental moments on that show, as well as some very memorable trainwrecks. I was really into it for a short period of time, but would check in from time to time after that. Tom would have Neil Hamburger on frequently and eventually gave him his own spin-off show. The first episode, if I remember correctly, was an unmitigated disaster, with Neil breaking character several times.

This episode features Tim & Eric taking calls from racist teens. This is also the first appearance of rascals anywhere, which we’ll see next episode. Great fucking internet television. Needs to be in a museum.

MAIL BAG

Okay, to make up for the fact that by mixing up Tim & Eric episodes I’ve basically weaseled my way into *sorta* taking a night off, I’m gonna just answer every mail I have in my bag. Which may or may not result in a super-sized Mail Bag. I don’t wanna advertise that I’m doing this to the three people who are clearly my friends anonymously sending me stuff to mock me for doing a thing “for readers”, because they might go TOO nuts and make a point to send a lot to punish me.

You wrote Simpsons Night, right? Great blog, sad to see it end so abruptly because you had a fight with Disney+. Anywhoozle, how does your favorite Tim and Eric bit stack up against your favorite Simpsons bit (which I believe from reading the blog you said it was the Robotic Richard Simmons).

Thanks Nick. Anyway: That blog is not quite dead (lol Monty Python so funny... a bit UN-PC THOUGH!!!! AM I RIGHT?????). How dare you. Lotta Christmases have been happening lately so I’ve not had time to luxuriate in my various blogs. I’ll do another Simpsons soon.

I think the sad truth is that The Simpsons’ effects are waning on me, and I tend to see those great, incredible, ingenious jokes as a soothing balm. Tim & Eric are sorta the same way, but I’ve watched these episodes a fraction of the amount of time I’ve watched The Simpsons. But I’ve already begun thinking up more inane “watching the Simpsons” projects. I can’t get enough of those funny families.

I think Tim & Eric taps into a vein of humor that I ultimately prefer, which is stuff that is funny for reasons you can’t fully comprehend at first. You know what I mean? Anyway, my idea is that this time I watch the episodes by production code, but I alphabetize the production codes, so I actually start with season 10

neil hamburger must have freaked some people out in 2007

Okay: see, I already talked about the episode mix-up, otherwise I would have not used this Mail Bag on this post. If I were being truty deceitful, I would have pretended this Mail Bag came in later, and attach it to tomorrow’s post instead. Anyway: I cherish Neil Hamburger and we all should cherish him. Let’s get all his television appearances together in a bittorrent, stat!

Which Jackass parody do you like better: Tim and Eric's Dumbellz or PodcastAboutList's Prankass?

I’m assuming you left out Kenny Rogers’ Jackass because it’s too clear of a winner. Anyway, I know nothing about Prankass and am in fact a very casual fan of those guys. I’ve only heard a couple episodes of that show and watched the Jollibee video a few times. I gotta get with it. Prankass is probably much better.

You couldn't do the jokes Neil Hamburger did today

Yeah you can

What do you think of this: cheese sticks coated in italian breadcrumbs, fried until they are hot and melty on the inside, dunked into your favorite marinara or spaghetti sauce. It's an appetizer. Interested?

The idea of dipping these guys in marinara has never appealed to me. I have a weird thing against mixing tomato and cheese. Something about it seems sinful. I avoid pizza for this reason. Denny’s cheese sticks are perfect, and their chicken fingers used to be perfect, but then they changed them, and they are merely “alright”. I can’t find anything that compares.

Will we ever have another funny comedy duo like Tim and Eric again? Hayes and Sean? Those two guys who fucked off to work for Jimmy Fallon? Jeremy and Rajat? Daniels? Please don't say Daniels I hate that fucking movie.

I remember one time, Jimmy Kimmel had on a duo named like Ant and Dek, and I was like “huh, okay, who are theeeeeese guys” (getting ready to laugh because duos are tried and true) and then they get to talkin’, right, and it turns out they were just like normal-ass British television presenters that are hugely famous in England but not here, and Jimmy kept having to remind the audience that they were big stars, and they didn’t say anything funny because they weren’t really comedians at all. (not sure what my point was so...) anyway, all that stuff I said should be illegal.

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #tim and eric awesome show great job

[sneezygiant]

633 word. This is not giant or tiny, but I just fucking love my new oc raven so much. He is now my favorite oc, and will probably get a few giant friends. He has 2 friends do far.

#Julie the half-witch

And

#Jasper the rude tiny

So #raven the silly magic man will be getting lots of stories

-----------

Raven knocked on the door to his friend's door, loudly. He didn't even care about being quiet, it being the middle of the night. His cloak hood was up, hiding his ears pinning back and a pouty look on his face. 

 "You didn't come visit me today!" He cried as soon as the door swung open, inwards, to reveal one of his best friends standing there. She was in her rob, hair tied up in a messy bun, and a scowl on her face.

 "What the heck raven?! It's the middle of the night, you should be in bed right now. I should be in bed right now!" She puffed at the taller man, crossing her arms with a scowl, sniffly softly to herself.

  "You didn't visit me!" The purple haired man repeated, pout deepening as he rocked on his heels. "And you know night is the only time I can come into town! Last time I came durin' the day they mayor tried to burn me at the stake!" He protested, before softening his voice to add a soft "and I was worried, you're never late, Darlin', and this time ya didn't even show."

  "Thaaaat's why you're pounding at my door after midnight? You fool. I'm fine. I just caught a cold, that's all. I would have visited you in a few days." Raven's friend sighed as she stepped back to let the tall man in, wichbhe gladddly stepped inside. 

 He pulled the hood of his cloak down to reveal his freckled face, pointed,freckled:and pierced ears, purple hair and mismatched eyes. 

 "You're sick, well you shouldn't be left alone while sick. No, no. That shan't do. I personality love a bowl of hot tomato soup. I can make ya some if you want." Raven babbled with a wiggle of his ears, watching his friend's facial expression fall, and as she lazily lifted a hand towards her face. 

 "Julie?" Raven asked with a tilt of his head, playing with the hem of his cloak for a brief moment before stepping closer to her, crouching down so he could look her in her half lidded eyes. "You okie, Hun?"

 He was answered when Joe's breath gave two soft hitches, and a sneeze… right into ravens face. Well not right into his face, though Julie had sneezed past her hand, that hand did catch a small portion of the mess.

  "Hiiiih! Eeh! HEH'SHKKO!"

  There was a long pause between friends, one growing flustered and one trying not to laugh. Neither scuccided.

 "Raven I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to! Why were You crouched down so close, I'm so sorry, don't be mad at me!" Julie whined as Raven stood to his full height of 6'7 with a laugh, wiping his face on his sleeve, pointed ears pinning back in amusement.

  "Well that's what I get for tryin' ta be your height luv!" He chorkled and looked down at her, his stupidly adroble grin plastered on his face. 

 Right, this was raven. He didn't really get upset. He was goofy at best, cheerful normally, and annoying at worst.

  "So how about it? I make ya some nice tomato soup, and we cuddle on the couch?" Raven asked, ears perking up as he gave a kind but happy grin. 

 "I dunno rav, you'll burn down my kitchen, and then you'll catch my cold." Julie hummed in thought, scratching at the back of her neck.

  "No I won't! I can make tomato soup real well! I also have a very strong system. I haven't been sick in forever! Come'on darlin', soup and cuddles when you're sick? It will make ya feel so much better!" Raven yipped, pulling her to his side for a hug.

  "Fine… just promise me you won't burn down my kitchen?"

  "I promise!"

#raven the silly magic man #sneeze blog #sneezeblr #snez #julie the sneezy half-witch

[wildcatofgreen]

She let her sister be, for a moment. Let her calm down. Let her breathe. Poor girl had every right to have a little sob break--everyone needs one, eventually. Corazon just decided to finish fixing up the wall. The wall mud looked dry, by now--their little fight made time pass just a little quicker. It just needed to be sanded down and painted over--

. . .

Corazon you moron why didn’t you tell her to buy paint. Fuck.

A sigh. There’s probably paint around the palace, right? Carol can just paint it over herself, no biggie. Everyone and their grandma knows how to paint.

Whatever. The wildcat sanded the dried mud to be level with the rest of the wall, making the whole thing smooth. Again, paint’s the only thing that’s left. She looked over at her sibling, sitting on the bed and staring at that stupid gem. Paint can definitely come later.

The elder took a chair from the younger’s desk, dragged it over to Carol and placed it next to her. She then proceeded to sit in the chair backwards, leaning forward on the chair’s back. “You good now?”

A sigh, a nod. Carol looked over to her sister, “Yeah.” Her voice was croaked.

“Aight. Then lemme ask--who’s this Sierra Head sittin’ in your gem? We’ll get that one over with, since it seems like the most important.”

A look of shock on the scarfed cat’s face, then a mousy frown, looking away from her sister as much as possible.

Wait...

Was she fucking blushing?

“He’s... my boyfriend.”

“Heh? Ain’t hear that one, sis.”

“My boyfriend.”

“One more time? You’re not bein’ very--”

“My BOYFRIEND, Cory. He’s my boyfriend.” She crossed her arms and pouted, still averting her gaze from her sister.

Corazon sat there, flabbergasted. And... confused. She squinted, raising a brow at her. “I thought you were gay.”

“!!! “CORY!!!”

“No, seriously--weren’t you crazy for that dragon girl?”

“CORY!!!”

“What, you give up or somethin’? Was her leaving really that bad of a deal breaker? Stones know it’s a family tradition to bounce without saying anythin--”

She glared daggers at her sister, muttering, “If you keep talking, I’ll call you Cora--”

She puts a hand over her sister’s mouth nope not doing that one no no no no no. “Siiiiiiiiis, siiiiiiiiiis,” she tried to sound as friendly as she possibly could, “You know there’s no need to do thaaaat! C’mon, we’re family! Such great sisters!!!”

Her glare did not falter.

Sighs. “I’ll shut up, I’ll shut up. Ain’t gotta tell me twice.” She uncovered her sister’s mouth and started to lean on her arm.

. . .

“She was so cute, too. Iunno why you’d--”

“CORALCORALCORALCORALCORALCORALCORALCORAL--”

HAND BACK OVER MOUTH, “SHHHHH, SHHHHH, SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT UP, SHUT.”

---

“Besides, I’m bi,” she mumbled, arms still very much crossed.

“So you did like the dragon girl.”

“CORY!!!”

“Sorry, sorry,” she was chuckling, waving her hands in front of herself, “I couldn’t help it.” She folded her arms over the top of the chair’s back, “So, what’s the deal? What’s so wrong with your boyfriend? Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

“No! Nothing like that,” she shook her head, flopping on her bed. “It’s just...,” she sighed, “I’m a burden.”

“Eh?” Quirked an eyebrow, “Burden how? You like, stealin’ his cash or something?”

“No!! I would never--”

“It’d probably be easy money,” she looked up at the ceiling, tapping her chin.

“CORY!”

“Don’t mind me just thinkin’ out loud. Keep going.“ She waved it off, still staring at the ceiling.

Small whine, but she complied, “It’s just... There’s a lot, I’m worried about. I mean, he... he loves me so much, but... What if somethin’ happens to me?”

“You’re not dying, sis.”

“What if I do die! He’d be super devastated...” Whimper.

She rolls her eyes, “If you die I’ll just bring you back. Get you an extra life--you know we have nine, right?” She snickered.

“Not. Funny.” Scowled at her sis as hard as she could.

“Seriously, you’ll be fine. You got no reason to be worrying about that stuff, your death date is way farther than you think.” ‘Specially in her line of work.

She shook her head, hugging herself, “But, what about...”

“ ‘Bout what?” Tilts her head.

“... “Brevon.” She shuddered.

“Sis that guy’s probably dead.”

She raised her head off the bed slightly, ear twitching, “Huh?”

“Didn’t you destroy his spaceship or something? And fucked him up so bad that he went home in like an escape pod? Or whatever?”

She nodded, slowly.

“Then lemme tell ya somethin’, sis,” the wildcat sat up in her chair, “If his ship was already damaged, and most of his army got it’s ass kicked by you and your friends, then his ‘lil pod is probably somewhere in space right now, floating aimlessly around like a dead body in a river.”

She shuddered at the comparison, “How can you be so sure?”

“ ‘Cause there ain’t no way that dude had enough fuel to get anywhere. Those kinda guys never actually plan that far, trust me. The escape pods were a super last resort, I imagine, then when he had to use it he probably neglected to keep up with it’s fuel. Seen it happen too many times raiding other sky pirates ‘round Avalice.” She rolled her eyes, remembering all the hotshots who just weren’t prepared for a fight and ended up dying for it, or getting stranded for it, or whatever else. People who weren’t cut out for the gig, people who had a couple spare bucks lying around and thought they could just hop in any old ship and go, or people who were just too young to know what they were doing. Didn’t hold back enough, didn’t have enough self preservation. Was a damn shame how many bodies she’s seen in her line of work.

Carol just seemed, skeptical, of her sister’s words. Her eyes looked like she was deep in thought.

The mercenary just shrugged, “S’what I’ve seen, it’s what I know. Big shots like that guy never have a good enough plan B to last long.”

Whimper, “Guess you got a point there.”

“You ain’t convinced?”

“No, it ain’t like that. Just, I’m still worried.”

Rolls her eyes, “If you were a burden I wouldn’t be so concerned about ya, y’know--”

“No, that’s exactly why I’m a burden. People have to worry about me. I’m dangerous, Cory. I beat baddies on the daily and get myself thrown around all sorts of different universes and meet all sorts of different people and--”

“Hey, hey, hey, what the fuck. You can not just let that one out in the open and not expect me to ask what the hell you’re talking about.” Has her sister been going on fucking multiversal travels??? Like, huh???

“Oh, right.” She holds up the gem again, it’s pulsating glow having calmed down by this point, “This thing kinda just... throws me around, sometimes. I’ve met a whole bunch of different people like that. Sometimes it’s interplanetary, but most of the time it’s multiversal. And sometimes it’s just... random.”

Magic talking glowing rock that teleports at random to different fucking universes. “Sis you need to sell that fucking thing.”

“No!!!”

“Why? This thing sounds like more of a burden than you’re making yourself out to be.”

“I just,” she sighs, “Iunno. I’ve still made friends like that. This thing ain’t all bad, y’know? Even if I have to deal with a couple jerky comments from those Anons.” She groans.

“Please speak English. Anons???”

“Sometimes, the Gemerald speaks to me. Apparently, guys from all over the multiverse can just,” pause, trying to find the word, “message me, I guess? Through the gemerald. But you don’t like, know who they are. It’s all just guys hiding behind a mask. Anonymous.” She shrugs. “It’s been like that as soon as I got this damn thing. ‘Bout a year after the whole Brevon thing.”

She stares at her sister, trying to parse her words. Trying to really get at how crazy her life has been since that fuck came around to try and fuck over their planet. She sighed, leaning forward into the chair’s back again. “Okay. How many people know about all of this?”

“Like, besides you?”

Tilts head, “...Yes? Sis, don’t tell me you haven’t actually told anyone about this shit.”

“I mean, Sonar knows. I think.”

“You think?”

“Iun’t remember if I actually told him or not. But I think he deals with those Anon guys too! That’s like, enough, right?”

She just glares at her sister, unamused. She’ll just... wave it off for now. She’s getting it out now. That’s something, right? Better late than never. “So, you talk to a buncha random creeps who contact you via this random gem and presumably make fun of you and stuff. Cool. Your mental must be so normal.”

Groan, “I’m fine, Cory.”

“Sure you are. That’s why you were acting fine all day, right?”

She averts her gaze, hugging herself tighter.

“I ain’t blind, sis. I can tell when you’re off. Maybe you don’t think I do, but I do know what my little sis is like. You’re my flesh and blood!” She gives a toothy grin.

“I guess.”

“Nah, no guesses. Straight facts.”

Groaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, “You’re so lame.”

Corazon chuckled, “Someone needs to be the lame one, if you insist that you’re so ‘‘awesome’‘ all the time.” Airquotes over awesome.

The younger actually chuckled too, “Yeah, guess you’re right about that one!”

---

“So, what’d be big mean Anon say to my lil sis, anyway?”

“They, uh.” She paused, hiding herself with the gem--badly, at that, “They teased me about wanting to marry Sonar.”

“Excuse me you wanna do what.”

#carol's cruisings #corazon's keen #sister's intuition - corazon #ic update #long posts #carol's adventures

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24Leaders #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental justice #environment protection #environmental health #Youtube

[angelbeamz]

TeeHee!!

Anyway like I Said, I have Finished NEO and I. Have Many Thoughts About it. FIRSTLY, the Story. It was Rich and Detailed - by the End of it, I had Almost Zero Questions to Ask (The Qs being Why did Joshua do Nothing to Save Shibuya but Haz did, and what the Fuck Happened in Shinjuku to Cause its Inversion) and it was Fulfilling. The Characters got me Hooked - I Never Cry at Deaths. Yet NEO decided to Kill Me whilst I was Down. I Cried SO HARD at Kanon's Erasure she had So Much Swag I Love her. The Boss Battles Also Felt like Boss Battles - Especially Leo Cantus Armo's. He's just...Too Fast...I Forgot English because of him,,,

Speaking of Boss Battles, Phoenix Cantus. Gotta be One of My Favourite Designs for a Boss - there's Something So Pretty yet Scary About it and I Love that. I Also Love how Shiba's Fire Analogies Foreshadowed Phoenix Cantus - whether Intentional or not.

THE MUSIC The Music Hits Different. I was Dancing in My Seat Half the Time as I Listened to them! Transformation, Breaking Free, Oomparts - all of it is a Jam.

I Also Love the Attention to Detail that when You Fill Out Your Graffiti Wall, it Appears in Udagawa. I Squeaked when I Noticed thaaaat

THERE'S TOO MANY THINGS I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS GAME BUT TL;DR I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

#ooc #salem plays neo

[tuff-and-fluff-archives]

Top 5 Star Trek moments that made Ruby want to Die (i’m keeping my gushing in the tags but sweet jesus 😳😳😳)

#WHY DID HE FUCKING DO THAAAAT #the audio isnt even that important i just NEED yall to see how fucking bad he is with personal space like sweet FUCK WHY #THIS WAS A COMPLETELY NORMAL CONVERSATION IN THE CONTEXT OF THE EPISODE AND THEN HE JUST. PULLS THIS SHIT AAAAAH #like omg he really does have no sense of boundaries if he just does this for NO REASON other than to try and get the upper hand jfc #...... what no im definitely not wishing that that was me he was doing that to hahahahaha SHUT UP 😳 #shit like this is why Q makes me just wanna Scream like... why the fuck are you like thiiiiiiiis AAAAAAAH #ruby rambles #✨ #suggestive #maybe??? there's not even anything happening Q is just being a FUCKING PRICK as usual grrrrrr

[fuwushiguro]

Better Than a Milkshake

𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Tomura Shigaraki x f!reader

Genre: Smut Notes: It just feels like something he'd be into tbh Warnings: 18+, consensual encounter, cheating, reader has a child, lactation kink, mommy kink, handjob (m receiving), bratty!Tomura, (does this count as dom!reader? idk), name calling, use of 'good boy', praise. Words: 1.6k

Shigaraki doesn’t envy anyone as much as he did Touya. How could he stop himself from feeling the agonising jealousy he feels coursing through him whenever he thinks about you? The girl Touya won over at college. The girl who’s virginity he took. The girl who let him knock her up. That’s the worst part of all, Tomura thinks. The fact that you’re bound together for life because of a fucking kid that looks exactly like his father. They’re identical. A perfect mini me. But you know all about Tomura’s jealousy. He gets so worked up about how things turned out between the three of you. You don’t regret being with Touya and you definitely don’t regret your child. But there is one thing that satiates his frustration for a few days.

He likes it when you play mommy.

And he loves it when he’s your baby.

He knows Touya is out. And whenever he knows for a fact your true lover is out of the picture, he bursts into your home as if he owns the place. You can’t quite remember why you and Touya decided to give him a spare key. But regardless, he doesn’t care that you have chores to do. He doesn’t care that your child is sleeping in his cot upstairs. You’re being pulled up the stairs by your wrist and forced into your bedroom.

The bed you share with Touya.

He thinks it’s funny, doing it here, where you fall asleep beside the supposed ‘love of your life’. But, do you fool around with other people when you’re meant to be in love? You only do it because he’s such a God damn brat. It makes him happy, calm. And it just makes all of your lives easier.

“Why is your shirt still on? Take it off.” he demands as he stares at your hideously plain t-shirt. Although the baby gave it a slight upcycle by covering it in food stains. “Now.” he adds, pulling his v neck over his head and beginning to unzip his trousers.

“Ask nicely, Tomura. You don’t barge into my home and start barking orders. I don’t have to do this, you know.” you remind him. You see a fleeting fearful gaze from burning red irises. You can’t do this to him. You can’t give him a means of satisfying the fiery jealous hatred seeping through his organs and then threaten to tear it away from him.

“Please.” he mumbles. “Take it off, please. I… need it. You. Need you—”

It was good enough, you thought. You followed his actions of pulling your shirt over your head and tossing it aside. He was at least relieved you had gone without a bra today. Your perfect milky tits flopped free. They’re even leaking a little. They must know he’s here. They must know how badly they’re needed, by him. If only Touya knew your offspring was sharing the gift your breasts provide with Tomura. What a filthy, cheating bitch you are.

You situate yourself on the left side of the bed. Your back is against the headboard and your legs are crossed. You pull a plump pillow into your lap for Tomura to rest his head. You curl your finger inviting him to join you, and you’re sure you can see a little drool at the corner of his mouth.

“C’mon baby, don’t you wanna take your pants off and let mommy take care of you?” you ask him, a warm smile on your face and bleaching through your words. He nods, excitedly, stepping out of his clothes and getting on the bed to join you. “Thaaaat’s it, there we go.” you coo as he gets comfortable exactly where you want him. He’s lying on his side facing your chest, legs spread open to reveal his aching red cock.

“They look… sore. Heavy.” Tomura comments as he looks at your nipples. The hardened buds positively red raw. He tweaks them, only a little, and you can’t help but hiss.

“Sensitive, careful now.” you explain. He nods.

“C-Can I help, please?” he asks, so sweetly, so nicely. You’d never believe this was the same man who entered your home unannounced and dragged you up here.

“Mhmn, I’d like that. What do you wanna do, baby?” you wonder. He clears his throat. His eyes are a little watery, it’s like he’s overwhelmed by the situation he’s in. As if you haven’t done this dozens of times before. He just loves it so much, you suppose.

“I wanna… I want to suck mommy’s tits.” he says, confidently. And yet despite his tone, he’s blushing. Face flushed red and looking prettier than ever. You take his cock in your hand and begin to masturbate him, his head falls back into the pillow and a hearty sigh flees from his lungs. “O-Oh, fuck.” he stutters.

“Gonna take care of you, make you feel so good. So do what you want to ‘em. Take what you can before you cum all over mommy’s hand, alright? No more milk after you cum, that’s the rule.” you tell him. There’s no weight behind it, of course. You love it when he suckles on you almost as much as he enjoys doing it. But the fear incentivises him to work harder. To do better.

“N-No fair,” he mutters.

“Wasting precious time, Tomura.” you whisper. You’re right.

He grabs a handful of your left breast while he latches onto the other. Your hand working his cock slows as the feeling of him nursing on you rushes straight to your cunt. The way he laps and laves over your nipple is intoxicating. He’s moaning into it, too, the vibrations feeling oh so sinfully good.

“Mmm, g-good boy, Tomura. Feels so good…” you mewl, lacing your fingers through silvery tufts of hair and pulling him closer into your chest. It’s unnecessary, you couldn’t get him away from your chest even if you wanted to. “Gonna make me cum just watchin’ you…” you laugh. He smiles into the fat of your chest. Teeth nibbling soft on the teat.

“Meant to be taking care of me, mommy. Not the other way around.” he reminds you. He’s right. You find your rhythm jerking him off again. The way his legs shake like a new born deer is truly delectable. His cock pulsing in your hand as he humps into your hold to gain more friction is a mouth-watering sight. There is drool at the corner of your mouth as you watch pearly pre leak from the tip.

“B-Baby, your cock is so big. So heavy. You’re gonna cum aren’t you? Poor thing, not gonna last while I’m touchin’ you like this.” you tease him. He shakes his head as he begins to suck at your opposite tit with more determination and ferocity than ever before.

“Not gonna—! P-Please, I don’t w-wanna… not yet. Slow down a l-little, I don’t want t-to.” he stammers over his words as he tries to hold back his impending orgasm. But you don’t slow down. Not even close. If anything, you’re going faster. His teeth are gritting and glittery tears freefall down his face as he feels himself getting closer and closer. “M-Mommy, please.”

“No Tomura, I want you to cum. Make a mess all over mommy’s hand. Be a good boy for me and cum right now.” you torment.

“N-No! Nggh—!” he moans as he betrays himself entirely. Balls tightening and releasing his pent up release everywhere. His sticky cream drooling all over your fist. His head falls back into the pillow on your lap as he twists and moans through his high. You brush his hair away from his face as he cums, getting a better view of the milk speckles around his mouth. He apologises again and again for cumming so quickly. And you do nought but shush him. Your velvety voice and melodic hums lull him into sleep. He came a lot. You’re not surprised he’s so tired.

You slip away downstairs to use the bathroom and clean yourself up a little. You can’t help but smile at yourself in the mirror. Both proud of yourself for how quickly you made Tomura cum, and feeling happy that you made him feel so good. You’re startled slightly when you hear your phone ring in the pocket of your sweatpants. No one calls you, except for him.

It's Touya.

“H-Hi, sweetheart. Is everything okay, how’s work?” you ask him, still panting and a little out of breath from working so hard to make Tomura orgasm.

“It’s alright, thought I’d check in with you. How’s the baby doing?” Touya wondered. You nod, smiling, even though he can’t see.

“He’s just napping upstairs, being a little angel as always.” you tell him. You hear a sweet chuckle in his recognisable tone hum down the line.

“Always, you’re right about that,” he nods, agreeing with your sentiment. “And how about the brat? I’m guessing he decided to pay a visit today since I’m out. Did you give it to him again?”

“I let him nurse on me and jerked him off. He didn’t last too long, he rarely does. But he’s napping now too.” you giggle.

“Fuckin’ incel. Alright, I’ve gotta go back to work so I’ll see you tonight when I get home. I love you.” he tells you, and it melts your heart to hear him say it. He’s so understanding. It was a great arrangement that you came to. You were both sick of Tomura being so pouty and miserable because he got the girl. Why not give him a little taste if it keeps everyone happy? What Tomura doesn’t know can’t hurt him.

“Okay, Touya. I might have to let him have another round if he wakes up grumpy… but I’ll just tell you about it when you come home. I love you, babe. So much.” you speak, bashfully. He clears his throat again, and you hear him tell his boss he’s almost done talking.

“’m feelin’ a little left out. Your tits must be dynamite. Maybe I’ll have to try when I come home.”

tag list form ➪ here

© 2022 fuwushiguro

#shigaraki #mha shigaraki #bnha shigaraki #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki smut #shigaraki x reader smut #tomura #tomura shigaraki #tomura shigaraki smut #tomura shigaraki x reader #incel shigaraki #tw cheating #tw mommy kink #tw lactation #tw brat taming

[straighttohellbuddy]

don't threaten me with a good time {Dream}

Request: if you’re still taking requests- cc!dream and reader who is part of the dream team being the typical will they/won’t they couple

Summary: Y/N sends Dream their address mostly as a joke, and it's all uphill from there.

A/N: 5653 words. WHY IS THIS 5.6k?! WHY AM I LIKE THIS. seriously though im kind of really in love with this fic. im sorry there's not thaaaat much of the dream team but this is set after sap and dream move in together. also i was listening to the FOB song of the same title for a lot of this, but i think Cake By The Ocean fits the fic better??

Warnings: many many suggestive jokes but it's sfw, almost painfully fluffy at the end

{ Idiots-To-Lovers 'verse } | { 1 / 4 }

"Fuck you," Dream muttered, which wasn't uncommon despite the fact that you considered him one of your closest friends. Years long friendships, knowing how to push one-another's buttons, it tended to illicit that kind of response. Your particular brand of friendship with Dream, however, meant it was not uncommon for your response to be along the lines of -

"You wish," you were grinning from ear to ear, gaze flitting around the screen looking to see if there were any more mobs advancing on you, or if you were finally in the clear.

"And so what if I did?" He retorts, voice sliding from irate to challenging, something familiar and teasing about his tone, his energy, that you knew you could match with ease.

"Alright bet," since your character seemed to be safe for the moment, you slouched back in your seat, lazy smirk on your face as you picked up your phone.

"Wait, what?" He half-laughed, a little confused at your response, before you heard his phone go off with a text notification, and you waited for a beat before he started to laugh his ass off.

"I said, alright bet; come romance me, green boy," you snorted, leaning back in to your computer, glancing at chat for a moment, before Dream's shouted through the VC;

"Did you just send me your fucking address over a bit?!"

"Well I didn't think you were fantasizing about sticking your dick in my PO box," you said blithely, which, after a moment to process what you'd just said, the comment seemed to break Dream. It sounded like he'd left his desk, laugh faint and echoing.

"Fuck you, Y/N," he came back with, and though the sound of his smile in his voice warmed your heart, you couldn't help yourself.

"You have my address," tone coy, you heard him mutter something indistinctly, but didn't push the bit any further, instead attempting to gather together what you'd need to make several beds and start strip-mining the Nether for Netherite.

You don't expect much to come of it; the address was sent on a whim but you did actually trust Dream. Well, you trusted him not to give out your address, or use it for evil, though it still comes as a shock the next day when the buzzer by your door goes off, and when you ask who it is, an unfamiliar voice identifies themselves as being from a flower delivery company.

[you motherfucker] You text him, alongside a photo of the elaborate bouquet of roses you bring up to your apartment.

[consider yourself romanced 💖🖕] Is his response, but all you can read into is your move.

When you tweet a photo of the flowers, you caption it 'a simp found my address. should i move or wait for more things to show up?' to which Dream, with all the subtlety of a blimp, responds 'you're gonna die waiting'. Ass. It does makes you laugh, though.

But it comes up again, several days later you're doing an alt stream, taking uquizes people are recommending on your Discord, when someone asks about the flowers in your background, right as someone else is asking if Dream ever actually showed up at your apartment.

"The flowers are actually from Dream, I tweeted about them a few days ago but I don't think I actually made that clear," your tone fond as you gaze over your shoulder at the flowers, you take a moment to let that fondness flourish in your chest; he didn't need to do anything, and yeah, maybe it was for a bit, but he still didn't have to send them at all. Clearing your throat, you turn back to your camera, "because he's too chickenshit to show up himself." You grin sharply, unable to stop yourself from teasing him, even when he wasn't here to defend himself. Or so you thought.

Your phone goes off.

"Are you watching my stream?" Is how you answer the phone, met with an indignant Dream -

"I'm too chickenshit to show up? You're the one who said you wanted to be romanced; I didn't think showing up to your house was romantic I thought it was fuckin' creepy, excuse me for being a gentleman!" Then, after a moment with no response from you, he adds, "stop laughing, Y/N, I'm protecting my own honour here," but he was clearly smiling, holding back laughter of his own.

"Dude, you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid," you wheeze, to which he hung up.

Then, a minute later, a donation of a hundred dollars from the man himself 'And what if I did just show up? What then? Hypocrite❤️'-

"Thanks for the donation, Dream, why don't you show up then, in the pouring fuckin' rain, put your money where your mouth is," you smirk, ignoring his follow-up dono of 'you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid and underline the second you!'. You roll your eyes instead, favouring other messages.

So imagine your shock when after forty minutes of radio silence, you get another dono from him reading 'FBI open up' as the buzzer on your door goes off.

Your chat is on another fucking level of crazy as they immediately put two and two together, and suddenly you can hear your heartbeat in your ears as you look at your door.

"Shut the fuck up," you breathe, mostly to yourself; you'd tried to call his bluff, but he seemed to have turned the table on you, calling yours. You leave your mic on, mostly because this has great content potential, and you leave the frame to press the little microphone button that leads to the door of your building.

"If you're minecraft speedrunner DreamWasTaken, I'm going to throw rocks at you," is what you decide on, and there's a moment of silence before his incredibly familiar voice buzzes back up.

"So in answer to the question 'what would you do if I did show up' the answer is, you'd throw rocks at me? Not gonna lie, less hot than what you'd been implying," and then, after a beat, he laughs, "I can hear myself through your stream, that intercom is so loud."

You buzz him in.

You go back to your computer, only to see your viewers have increased significantly, and everyone is begging to know what's happening. You just sit, as if deflated, in your chair, awaiting your comeuppance to knock at your door.

The first and most obvious thing about Dream when you open your door to him, is that he's fucking soaking wet.

"Why are you moist?!" You demand, ushering him inside.

"I ran here!" He's grinning from ear to ear, "consider yourself romanced!" And the elation in his voice is enough to quell your nerves, and you look him over for a moment, see his phone in his hand still with your stream open, with an earphone in one ear, and you sigh gently, smiling.

"You live within running distance?" You asked, an eyebrow raised as you head to your bathroom. The stream catches you opening the door to the bathroom behind you, but Dream stays where he is, out of shot, for good reason.

"Actually yeah," his tone drops to something far more conversational, and when you come back, towels in hand, you see him looking around your apartment. You hand him the stack of towels and head back to your set-up, muting your microphone and putting up your 'We'll Be Right Back' screen for the time being.

As soon as you were no longer being watched by over a hundred, thousand viewers, you dropped your irate act, beaming at Dream.

"I cannot begin to believe you, dude!" You found yourself laughing, "oh man, you win this round, okay, you definitely win this round."

"I fucking knew it! Calling me chickenshit, you little hypocrite!"

"I didn't think you'd actually come over!" You exclaimed, eyes wide and amused, watching as he dried himself off as best he could, "dude, you're soaked, you could have caught a cab."

"As if, this is so much more dramatic."

"You'll catch your death like that," you gave a longsuffering sigh, already heading to your drawers.

"I can't believe you thought I wouldn't follow through," he clicked his tongue.

"Sorry for underestimating you," your conceded, rummaging around your pyjamas, looking for - a-ha! "A friend of mine left these after couch surfing here, they should fit you," you offer, and Dream, who'd been focusing on trying to wring out his jeans with little success, seems surprised by the kind offer, looking to the clothes in your hands.

"Are they pyjamas?"

"They're all I really have that would be comfy for you," you said, a little helplessly, he carefully reaches out and takes them.

"They've got ducks on them," he says quietly, almost to himself, marvelling at them, and you hesitate before adding -

"And I've got... my Sapnap hoodie came out of the dryer this morning, actually, I bought it a few sizes too big, it's pretty cozy," you offered, and at that his expression turned fondly amused.

"That's adorable -"

"Shut up," you mumbled, "you want the hoodie or not?"

"I didn't think I'd be staying," he admitted, "I just kinda showed up to make you eat your words, I can go -"

"You ran all this way, let me wrap up my stream, and stay for dinner, I was thinking of making myself stir-fry but I've got enough for two."

"You sure?" He asks, tentatively, and you finally look to him; it hits you in this moment that you've never even seen a proper photo of him, and yet you'd known immediately who he was. This feels... inevitable.

"Yeah, absolutely," you grinned, ducking your gaze, "I'll throw your clothes in the dryer too, if you wanted to get changed that is, you don't have to -"

"I feel like I'm wearing a fucking mop; I'm gonna get changed," he says with a grin, heading through to your bathroom when you gesture to it. Stopping at the door, however, he gives you a genuine, fond smile, "thank you."

"I'm gonna do a bit where I call Sapnap and ask him to pick you up," you tell him bluntly in return. He snorts a laugh, and closes the bathroom door behind himself. "Give a knock when you're done and I'll cut the camera for you."

"I appreciate that," he calls back.

You go back to your idle stream, only to see your viewers had doubled, and when you pick up your phone, the first thing you see if several messages from friends telling you you're trending on Twitter. You turn on your camera and mic again, and open your phone.

"Ah hello, was wondering when I'd be getting a call from you," when Sapnap picks up, he sounds all kinds of smug.

"Can you come collect your man from my home?" You asked flatly, to which he was already cackling with laughter.

"He actually ran, didn't he? He fucking ran there, is he still there?" He asked, sounding absolutely delighted by the whole ordeal, "it's your fault for giving him your address in the first place."

"I didn't think he'd actually show up!"

"As if you wouldn't show up to our house out of spite if he gave you our address," Sapnap pointed out, which shut you up fast, "you both wanna fuck each other so bad it makes you both look stupid," he cackles before hanging up.

You sit, pretending to sulking in the silence, just quietly reading your chat, while dwelling on the fact that fucking Dream is now in your apartment. The man you'd both been aggressively, albeit mostly jokingly, pursuing, and been pursued by online, publicly, for over a year. The shock of his arrival was finally wearing off, but your nerves were alight for all new reasons; you try and push those thoughts out of your mind as Dream knocks gently on the bathroom door.

The blurry photo you take of your floor, with Dream's knee in the corner, wearing your friend's duck pyjamas gets several hundred thousand likes, and the stream itself is your most popular by a longshot.

It went on longer than you intended, as Dream sat on your bed, half watching your stream on his phone when he couldn't read your monitor properly from where he was, and you gently bullied him into taking a few quizzes himself, with you clicking the options for him. Despite the unexpectedness of the situation, it's one of the best nights you've had in a long time, and you're rather sad to see him go, waving goodbye as he climbs in the taxi after dinner, wearing his now-dry clothes.

#Y/NWasTakenMeetup trends. Most of the fandom appears to be under the impression that you've made good on your constant threat-slash-flirting, and those who think you're dating were seemingly in a heated war with those who think he's dating George. You tweet 'don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone' which appears to confuse everyone in the replies, apart from a few who get your reference to the song. Dream replies with 'love watching you get ratioed vaguing about how i went home in a taxi. you could have just asked me to stay'.

[you're a fucking menace. at least you got the song reference] you texted him.

[i googled it you hipster] Is his only response.

And things, on the surface at least, return to normal after that, your chatter seeming just as teasing and flirty as it's ever been. But there's something new to the interactions, a new... familiarity. You've seen his face. He's been in your house. You've actually had dinner together. You've heard his laugh in person.

It's not that you were particularly subtle before, but one late afternoon while hanging out on the server with George, after you make a particularly forward joke, Dream very pointedly reminds you -

"Last time I was in your bed, you didn't even do anything about it, so, how'd you put it, put your money where your mouth is?" God you can tell he's smirking, but you're not one to back down.

"You're the one with my address; you wanna run all the way over here again?" You retort, smile sharp, only for you to hear Dream, in an echo-y way, like he's no longer at his computer, holler for Sapnap, and your whole body freezes. George is the only one who's actually live right now, cackling with laughter.

"I cannot believe he ran to your house in the rain," George is grinning as he's mining peacefully.

"The only reason he hasn't run to you is because he's physically unable to run across the ocean," you point out, and George gives a fond chuckle, conceding that you were right about that; if he ever figured out how, both you and George were sure there was nothing that could stop him then.

Some noises come from Dream's end of the call, some scuffling, of typing, then your phone goes off, right as he says, obviously close to his mic -

"Money. Where. Your. Mouth. Is." He demanded.

You look over the address, before plugging it into your maps app.

"That's an hour walk and you ran here in the rain!? It would've taken you ten minutes to drive!" You hollered back.

"You're the one who said, and I quote, romance me, green boy, and so I ran through the rain because it's fucking romantic!"

"I'm not running to your house!"

"I never asked to be romanced! You're the one with the high standards!"

"You assholes are as bad as each other," George snorts, but you're already shoving your phone in your pocket, leaving your mic on as you rummage and grumble around your little flat, looking for a jacket and your keys.

"Fuck you, Dream," is the final thing you say. You do, however, he's his teasing response before you're logging off and leaving. He's parroting your words back at you, smug ass.

"You have my address."

Sometimes you wish you weren't so motivated by spite, but you do end up walking to Dream's house out of spite, only stopping at a florist when you're almost there, picking up a cheap, but pretty bouquet.

When you hit the intercom, you hear Sapnap asking tentatively who it is. You tell him your name, and he sounds ten times more exasperated when he tells you he hates you; he's of course joking, and lets you into the building. He also happens to be the one who opens the door when you knock, and at the sight of you holding a bunch of flowers, he tells you he really hates both you and Dream, and closes the door on you.

You knock again.

"Clay get the door," you hear Sapnap call, and Dream's beaming from ear to ear the moment he opens it, and sees your exasperated face and bouquet of flowers.

"Please let me get a photo of this," he basically begs, holding back his laughter, and you obligingly wait in his doorway for him to take the photo before he lets you inside. He shows it to you - you look a little abashed, flowers half covering your face - and you give a faint smile, spiteful determination already wearing off, fading to something warm, glad to see him.

"Wait, no that's not -" you hear George all tinny through Dream's headphones as you follow him to his office space after Dream takes the flowers from you and puts them in a jar with some water.

"I got flowers, George," Dream sounds so genuinely delighted, voice all pleased and soft, that you turn away for a moment to hide your smile, if only from him. Making him happy like this effected you so much more than you wanted to let on, only for him to go on to say, "I'm being romanced." And though there's a half-teasing edge to his words, you can feel your heartbeat quickening in your chest. Why had you come here again? Just for a joke? A joke about sleeping together?

But nothing ends up happening. Again. All the build-up with no follow through because you don't actually talk like that without the safety of the computers between you. He's still so easy to be around, to joke and talk with, you don't feel as if you've got all the flirting, all the coy suggestions you'd both made about what would happen when you met up, hanging over your heads; it was all a joke anyways, you told yourself, it was all a bit for entertainment purposes. You guys shoot the shit, and he makes you dinner, repays the favour you so kindly had done for him, and you have dinner with him and Sapnap, who, after the shock of seeing you at the door with flowers, shakes his head and points out that you'd only had their address for less than an hour before you'd showed up. But he lets it slide, and has dinner with you both.

You watch a movie with a name you're already forgetting, and Dream's only half paying attention, mostly on his phone, while yours ends up vibrating with a notification. He's trying desperately to look innocent, like he hasn't just tagged you in something.

Its the photo of you in the doorway captioned 'i'm not running to your house they said. i'm not gonna romance you they said.' so of course you had to respond with a blurry image of the TV in front of you, of the movie you're only vaguely invested in, replying with it, along with the caption 'tryna netflix and chill but honestly more invested in whatever this is u gotta step up your game buddy' and a few moments after you post it, you see him grin out of the corner of your eye, and he huffs a quiet laugh. Sapnap asks if anything's going on, and you show him your screen instead of answering, smiling, altogether too amused with yourself.

"Your poor fans," he snorts, "you're as bad as each other," and then he proceeds to pull out his own phone.

'i'm literally on the sofa next to you both while you giggle like children at twitter instead of watching the movie please stfu'

And he wears a pleased little grin of his own at the way both you and Dream crow with laughter once you see his response.

And when the movie's over, when you know you should be going, when you've nervous that you're overstaying your welcome, you can't help but hesitate. You don't want to stay... but also you kind of really want to anyways. Maybe you're just cursing that you walked here, and now it's too late to walk back, and you're gonna have to call a taxi or an Uber, or maybe it's just that you can't help but enjoy their company and you don't want to go back to your empty little apartment, but your thumb stalls over your phone for a moment before you book an Uber. It's the right call, you know, and you just hope Dream hadn't seen your hesitation, hadn't read anything into it.

"You ever wanna hang out again, grab dinner or just chill, well, you know, the seal's broken, you know where I live," he's sitting with you on the steps of the building while you wait for your ride. It's cold, but you're shoulder to shoulder, both with your knees drawn up close to yourselves, attempting to preserve heat, and he's so fucking warm.

"Same goes for you," you tell him sincerely, and he gives an appreciative hum, leaning against you as a moment of affection.

Maybe you should leave Twitter, you think, when you get home to see that once again #Y/NWasTaken is trending. Maybe you should stop feeding the fans lies when nothing's even happened beyond any sort of casual contact.

But then he's asking if you're free for lunch, because he's bored and wants company on a Tuesday afternoon. And you say yes.

But then it's a Saturday night and you have no plans and he's five minutes into a stream and you ask if you can come and lay on his floor for company because the highlights video you've been trying to edit is giving you a headache. And he says yes.

But then it keeps happening, every other week you guys seem to physically be in each other's streams or videos, and you hang out when you're not working, and your phone connects to his wifi automatically, and you fall asleep on his shoulder while he's working on some coding, trying to explain it when he's not getting lost in it. And you wake up tucked into his damn bed, only to stumble out apologetically seeing him still awake, looking at his phone with bleary eyes.

"Did you get any sleep?" You asked, voice rough but full of concern.

"No, I've been- I'm alright, I'm fine, you sleep alright?" He asks, attempting to rub the tiredness from his eyes; it doesn't work. You nod, something warm and fond overruling your concern for him as you give a genuine thanks. His laugh is rough as he tells you not to worry about it.

"Go to sleep, dude," you urge, pulling out your phone to order yourself a ride home.

"No, I'll- I'll-" he yawns loudly, "I'll see you off, don't want you to get stabbed or anything."

"I'm not going to get stabbed," you try and assure him as he's getting to his feet.

"Don't argue with me," he shoots for stern and misses, thanks to another yawn, but you keep your mouth closed anyways, obliging him.

You sit on the steps of his building together, as you always did, like tradition, but this time is more quiet than most. You're watching your ride get closer on the app, and he's leaning against you, head on your shoulder, scrolling through Twitter, though his hand goes still, and his phone screen dims, and he really needs to go to bed if he's falling asleep on you too.

"My ride's here," you say gently as it pulls up, and he makes a noise of acknowledgement as you get up, helping him to his feet. When he hugs you goodbye, it's different to usual, and you can't place exactly why until you hear his gentle, sleepy sigh; warm and full of unguarded affection, he holds you close, and you let yourself melt into this moment.

"Text me when you get home safe," his words blur together a little, and he presses a kiss to your temple, before he's pushing you softly to the Uber. He doesn't even seem aware of how he's broken the script of your goodbyes with one single moment. He waves you off with a blithe smile and you wave back, trying to figure out how to process this all, gently touching at your own temple for a moment.

Oh.

Everything changes and nothing changes after that. You were so uncertain if it was a fluke, a sleepy mistake or just platonic affection on his part, but it had lead you to a realise you couldn't come back from. Now you're nervous that all the tweets about how you and Dream are actually in love are seeing through the jokes and banter and bits to what you may have been projecting. Fuck.

But you're not gonna let it change your relationship with Dream, not until you know more, not until you know if he is just outright joking, because either way he's still your best friend.

So of course, when he Tweets a photo of Patches in his lap to promote his merch, you reply with 'never have i wanted to be a cat so badly in my life 😻😻'. It takes almost five minutes for a response.

'I saw your pokemon streams i know u own cat ears. 💵👄' and you hear his voice in your head - if you're gonna thirst tweet, you better be ready to put your money where your mouth is.

[bet. thats fucking funny as dude] you text him moments later, hunting through your drawers for the cheap ears you'd bought mostly as a joke.

You're in an Uber on the way to his apartment when your phone goes off again. Dream's tweeted again, but he wasn't the one who @'ed you.

'@Corpse_Husband ever think about doing a more gender neutral version of Cat Girls Are Ruining My Life?....... asking for no reason in particular' to which Corpse had simply responded with '@Y/N this your man??'

Everyone knows. Everyone knows. Fucking everyone can tell.

Oh this may have been a mistake.

But you play along, like always, putting on the ears and taking a selfie in the back seat of the Uber, telling Corpse that he could use that as the cover for the song. Within seconds your replies are flooded with confusion and thirst and people losing their minds.

Sapnap opens the door for you, and tells you Dream's in his room, but as you go to pass him, he grabs your wrist gently, stopping you in your tracks.

There's a pause, a hesitation. He's looking at you, analysing you for a moment, as if formulating how he's going to phrase whatever he's going to phrase -

"I wouldn't say anything," he starts, voice soft enough to ensure he wasn't overheard by Dream, which already has your nerves spiking, "but George kindly pointed out to me that you may be as dense as Clay is about this -" oh fuck, oh no, what - "you know he's in love with you too, right?"

"Too?!" Your eyes, go wide, and you immediately drop your volume, trying to limit your reaction, though it's certainly difficult. Poor Sapnap looks like he's quickly forming a headache, "you know I -? Fuck, of course you know- wait-" you mutter, freeing yourself from his grip to nervously fidget, before getting back to the part of that sentence you should have properly been focusing on.

"He what?!" You hissed. Sapnap screws his whole face up like he's bitten a lemon.

"I'm not playing match maker, you're adults," he nudges you towards Dream's bedroom, "and I say this with love of my own for both of you: you're both so fucking stupid sometimes." And so with those words of encouragement out of the way, he's absconding to his own room to avoid further questions.

The few steps to Dream's bedroom feel like a haze, feel like a lifetime.

"You really wore the ears, you're adorable, you know that?" Genuine, warm, you can hear the way he's smiling rather than see it, sunlight silhouetting him where he's sitting on his bed in this golden afternoon, this golden moment. You want to freeze this moment, this single, perfect moment before you're about to make a fool of yourself.

You step inside and close the door, leaning against it.

"You okay?" He cares. Oh God, Sapnap's right and you can hear it in his voice.

"Can we... can we talk about the stuff we don't talk about face to face?" You hear yourself say, and he shifts out of the light; you can see the concern on his face.

"We don't talk about a lot of stuff, you have to be more specific; is this like, general, like something terrible's gone on in the world, or is this, like... like us?" Brow furrowed, he's still looking at you, still watching you. Your heart is in your throat.

"Half the time we're online together we're joking about- about- about- about hooking up," you're trying to keep your nerve to get through this, looking out the window rather than at him, "and I'm so unbelievably cool if they're just jokes, dude, you're probably my best friend and I don't want to jeopardise that, so I'm kind of glad nothing has come of it yet, and we don't really talk about it... but also," you swallow hard, and he gives you your moment, "if they're not just jokes, that's also unbelievably cool."

"Oh!"

"And- and Sapnap was saying some stuff just now, mostly because he thinks we're kind of dense - and depending on how this goes he might be right about this -" you add, finally, finally looking at Dream and his hesitant, but pleasantly surprised expression, "and I think if I don't tell you now that I'm kind of in love with you I might never get the nerve to do it again."

It takes a moment for him to process all of that. Then a second, then a third, then a slow smile stretches out over his face.

"You love me?" He asks, gently. There's no reservation, there's only delight.

"I love you," you tell him, firmer this time. Pushing yourself up from the door, adding, "more than kind of; kind of a lot, if that's okay. I love you kind of a lot."

"Kind of a lot is great," he tells you. His smile keeps getting wider with each word you say, "kind of a lot is so fucking great!" And he stands, elated, crossing the room to you, to wrap you up in his arms; it's like a great weight has been lifted from your heart as you meet him for a kiss. It's enthusiastic and feels inevitable in a way that has you lighting up from the inside out with warmth -

"I love you too, kind of a lot," he grins, pulling back for a moment to clarify, "if that wasn't obvious. I thought I was being obvious, so I'm sorry that I wasn't, I don't know, more obvious? I didn't want to make you uncomfortable and push it if you'd already read what I was trying to-" he isn't mad when you interrupt him since it means your mouth on his.

Later on, the two of you attempt to cram onto the sofa to recreate his earlier photo with Patches, and the minute you post it, alongside the original image for context the likes begin to skyrocket into the hundreds of thousands.

'i apologise for ever doubting the power of manifesting what you want' you caption the images, tagging Dream in it. You're both still on the sofa, though you've moved to a far more comfortable position, and he's pulled the crocheted green blanket to cover you too. A few moments later, the replies from your friends are coming in. Corpse says this should be the song cover. Sapnap, however, tags George, and simply says that he's sorry for saying anything. No-one else gets it, not yet, though you're sure it won't be long until this whole messy situation finally gets explained, becomes public news. You like the Tweet, and Dream snorts a laugh beside you.

"We are kind of dense," you said softly, "I'm glad he said something."

"If it means I get this, I'll forgive him for being a snitch," Dream gives you a squeeze, and you give a content little sigh, pressing against him further for just a moment.

"I think I've properly had feelings for you... ever since you ran to my house in the rain," you admitted.

"Because it's romantic- wait, that's like-"

"A long time," you sighed sheepishly, "yeah; I didn't really fully realise though -"

"No, no, that's a long time, yeah, but," and he's struggling not to laugh, and doing very poorly, "I realised I might actually love you the day you showed up at my door with flowers after only having had my address for an hour."

"God we joked about it so much but we genuinely romanced each other," you mused with something both horrified and awed, right before bursting out into laughter, "oh I kind of already hate us, that's sickeningly cute, what the fuck?"

And as you wriggle awkwardly to face him on the sofa, he's regarding you with fond adoration.

"I love us, we might be the worst," he concedes.

And you hum with delighted agreement as you kiss him again.

{sequel: its a hell of a feeling though}

#dream x reader #dream imagine #cc!dream #cc!dream x reader #cc!dream imagine #mcyt x reader #shut ur pretty mouth #cyltlanp #dream #Spotify

[hansolmates]

shiver | 01 (m)

banner done by the wonderful @dnrequests​

summary; jungkook changed since he moved out of his small town church community and attended college. when he returns for a christmas mass, you suddenly crave a taste of his fun and carefree life. in exchange, jungkook craves a taste of you pairing; bad boy!jungkook x church girl!reader genre/warnings; childhood friends to lovers, brief childhood friends to enemies, fwb!au, catholic guilt, jungkook is a meanie who eventually turns into a soft tsundere, bicuriosity, sexual exploration, virgin!oc, eventual smut—in this installment: touching over the clothes, mc is hornee, *pulls out cards against humanity* “a gentle caress of the inner thigh”, panty kissin, mc is a big ol’ pushover and hopeful for jkk:(( w/c; 1.9k a/n; it’s here! aaaaaa!!! i’ve been really eally realllyyyyyy nervous to post this. even though this is just a drabble series  let me know how you feel about it! enjoy [shiver masterpost]

“Oh, you’re so dead.” 

Jeon Jungkook isn’t thaaaat buff, he's more of a skinny kind of muscular. You don’t understand the hype, why everyone croons over Jungkook’s strength and physique. However, how else could you explain Jungkook being able to climb the currently dilapidated fire escape to the top floor of the chapel. The ladder is rusted beyond repair and is definitely a fire hazard rather than a fire escape. Yet he barely breaks a sweat doing it, and he wipes the minor sheen off his brow with the back of his hand. There’s some soot and whatever nasty residue from the fire escape that gets on his face, a black streak marring his already annoying face. He’s currently wiggling his fingers in a sarcastic “hello.” It makes you sneer, your two consciousness (inappropriate and appropriate) warring against each other to determine whether you still find this man attractive or not. 

Convincing yourself that Jungkook is ugly is the worst quick-fix idea you’ve ever had. 

The words of your Aunties, the family friends in the church, echo in your ears. Jungkook’s bad. They’d say over and over. It would cause you to snort and giggle, unable to imagine what sort of things he’s done to warrant such a cliché label. Yet some of the girls your age, girls that have gone off to college agree with sultry looks and longing eyes that yes, Jungkook’s bad. So bad, it’s good. 

You haven’t a clue what he’s actually done to earn such a hushed title, his parents are lip-tight about his doings, unless it’s his achievements in the architecture graduate program. You hear things, though. Things that make you shamefully green with envy, envious of sin. 

As soon as he finds proper footing in the storage room, he goes to the closet, immediately finding his backup clothes. They’re plain white button-downs, awkward long shirts with no shape or definition to them. They belong to the church, and no one ever uses them because they’re stiff and itchy. Yet Jungkook wears them like it’s tailored, and you have to look away when he quickly knots the bottom half of the shirt, fashioning it into a tasteful double knot in order to cinch his lean waist.

“Pretty sure it was just you that saw me,” Jungkook says dismissively, “so it’s fine.” 

This bristles you the wrong way, and you put down the catering covers you were supposed to return to the storage room. You smooth out your Sunday dress, this shade of Boring Beige looking particularly pale in the morning sun. “How do you know I won’t tell?” you turn your nose up. 

“Because I know,” he doesn’t even look at you, focusing on rolling the sleeves of his shirt. You weaken when you see the black shadowing across his forearm. That’s new, then again you haven’t seen him since last Christmas.   

“Know what?” 

“That you have a crush on me,” Jungkook says into the air like it’s common knowledge, adjusting the leather jacket on top of his outfit so the white-startched collar pops on top, “I mean, it’s hard for anyone not to know. You’ve been into me since youth group, Bunny.”  

You hold your breath, counting to ten as you close the door behind you. A vision of you playing “Duck Duck Goose” as a five year old plays in your head, where you’d pick a bushy, big-eyed Jeon Jungkook each time, hopping over to him to pat his fluffy head so he’d chase you around. 

It’s old news, your puppy love for Jungkook. How could you not like him? He's clever and sweet with his mother and always told the best stories in youth group meetings.  Everyone thought your affections were so sweet, and while that attention weaned over time, your feelings have only increased the more self-aware you’ve become. 

With a mind as open and honest is yours, it’s hard to ignore how well Jungkook has grown. What has also grown is your curiosities since the two of you have moved onto university. Jungkook goes to the university uptown, a far drive which only forces him attend masses during the holidays. You attended the local community college, wrapping up a bachelors in some vague major that you’re not attached to. You’re currently looking around for some graduate schools, but unfortunately you’ve been so wrapped up doing duties for Pastor Nina that you haven’t been able to look around properly. 

Jungkook’s probably living a fun life, with the way he’s grown rough and loose, you resent him. 

When you turn back around, Jungkook’s right in front of you, trapping you between his body and the door.  

“Don’t be embarrassed, Bunny,” you furrow your brows, nearly growing cross-eyed when he leans in. “I think your crush is cute.” 

You’re not sure what he thinks of you. Sure, he considered everyone a friend when you two were in youth group, but that was youth group. Premeditated, parents forcing other children to do the same things with each other for years upon years in the hope they’ll practice together forever and ever. Jungkook did not want that, evident from the way he dipped his duties as soon as he got into university. 

You hate how easy he dips back into it though, calling you Bunny and making you feel like a little girl all over again. Bunny, because you’d hop around to him whenever he was in sight. Bunny, because Jungkook had been fondly compared to the wide-eyed, diamond-toothed creature. It was cute when you were five. Now, it’s just discomfiting. 

“Don’t call me that,” you bite, “and I don’t like you anymore.” 

“Sure you don’t,” he rolls his eyes, and you flinch when Jungkook’s hand rests on the curve of your waist, fingers slotting themselves between the pleats of your skirt. “That’s why you’re not moving away when I’m about to put my hand under your skirt. Because you don’t like me.” 

You press yourself further into the door, your skin hot and vibrating. So warm, you feel like you could melt through the door and escape from Jungkook’s gaze. Sure, the young ladies in the congregation talk. Maybe you’ve heard a story or two about Jungkook being seedy, a result of being repressed after years and years of stiff routines and expectations thrust upon him. You could care less about Jungkook’s sexual appetite, until this appetite has reached you. 

“Mm, you’re pretty,” Jungkook’s eyes roam your form, the daisy white blouse doing nothing to barricade Jungkook’s sudden interest in you, “you’ve never been touched like this, have you?” 

“I’ve touched myself like this,” you hiss in defense, and it’s more out of anger than in pleasure. You don’t need a man to comfort you, but Jungkook’s eyes sparkle in mirth at the new information. 

“That’s really sexy,” Jungkook slips down, roams his fingers down to your ankles and plays with the silver buckles of your Mary Janes. You shiver when his hands trail up up up to your knees, the swell of your thighs, and catch right under the elastic seam that holds your secrets together, “but I’ll have you know, it’s different when you have someone hold your pleasure in their hands.” 

You’re in the storage room of your church, fifteen minutes before the Christmas mass, with Jeon Jungkook’s head between your legs. Your skirt is long, and Jungkook doesn’t bother to ride it up your waist. 

It feels more forbidden that way, Jungkook hiding under the fabric of your skirt to get to your honeyed center, sneaking his way in with rough hands and soft touches.

“J-Jungkook,” you whimper, pressing your full spine against the wooden door, “we shouldn’t. N-not like this.”

What is wrong with you? Is it sheer curiosity? Do you just want to know what it finally, finally feels like? You should be pushing him away. There’s red lights flashing back and forth in your brain like sirens. Yet, do you really want to turn away the attention you’ve been aching for years? 

You imagined your first time to be relatively special. The bare minimum, a bed, a talk, and a partner you’re mutually committed to. None of those things are met. Now you understand why all the young women in church whisper about sex like this. It’s a spur of the moment, it’s an unbridled pleasure you don’t want to stop, no matter how forbidden and sinful the act is.  

“How else then?” you feel his deep voice straight through your panties, his lips whispering between the pink cotton like he’s sinking liquid heat into your skin. “I can’t sink my fingers into your sweet cunt during the candle lighting. Or when we open presents with the family after. That would be inappropriate.” 

Your replies come out in breaths, puffs of air that conceal the moans you so badly want to let out as Jungkook pokes and rubs at you. He does nothing beyond the cotton fabric, only slides two fingers up and down your slit as he gathers the arousal between his digits. 

“So wet already, that’s so sexy,” he’s kissing your core, and you sigh fretfully at the pleasure that feels so close yet so far away. 

“P-please, Jungkook…” 

“Please what?” Jungkook teases, fingers slipping back and forth between the elastic of your underwear, “please stop? Please touch me? Please fuck me?” 

The church bell answers that, and Jungkook’s nose knocks right into your bud at the sudden intrusion. You yelp at the jarring stimulation, pulling him from under your skirts as the loud noise echoes in the room. Both of you wince at the pain, the moment interjected. 

“You first,” Jungkook casually opens the door for you, as if he didn’t have you ten seconds away from begging him to make you come. 

You don’t even look at him as you dash away, not bothering to take the elevator in favor of running off the heat. Two minutes before the procession. The church is packed to the brim, only the back seats left. Your family probably gave up on waiting for you up in the front. As you sit down in the corner, you’re momentarily distracted by the beauty of a decorated church on Christmas. Even though you’re part of the decorating committee and commanded most of the design, seeing the stained glass lit up with fairy lights and the poinsettia plants blooming burgundy on the altar, you’re impressed. 

“There’s a draft here, you must be cold.” Jungkook talks to you so politely, a perfect picture of a gentleman as he drapes his leather jacket over your lap. He speaks as if it’s a pleasant surprise, a childhood friend he hasn’t seen in nearly a year. 

You can’t tell him to move when people are watching and Jungkook is seconds from interrupting the procession, so you reluctantly scoot over so he can sit next to you. His scent overwhelms you even more now that you’ll have to sit next to him for a whole hour, lavender and vanilla overtaking your pew. 

The jacket is heavy and heady on your lap, and you force yourself to stare straight ahead. Jungkook cannot weaken you like this, not anymore. 

Thirty minutes later, his fingers are hovering at the start of the homily, caressing your thighs under the jacket with his big hands. A draft? Please. You clamp your thighs together, knocking your knees and hoping they’d lock together for the rest of the mass. Jungkook’s a master key, easily parting his way as if your muscles are pure jelly. You turn your head sharply, glaring at him with all the fire in the world. 

“Careful,” Jungkook mouths, eyes flickering to the symbol atop the podium, “he’s watching.” 

His fingers finally brush the damp blush cotton of your panties, and you shudder. 

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